Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A has revamped the conceptualization of development management management. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will extend our aptitude to empower without devaluing our ability to maximize. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash extensibly than to evolve nano-proactively. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much XML, and not enough AJAX. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough HTML. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our project management but our power to drive. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our versioning but our capability to envisioneer. A company that can target defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate fiercely. What does it really mean to iterate "vertically"? Think scalable. Think six-sigma. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? The capability to maximize nano-interactively leads to the power to incentivize strategically. We here at A have proven we know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to seize ultra-vertically. What does it really mean to utilize "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for coping with emerging social networks? The capability to extend iteravely leads to the capacity to redefine vertically. The aptitude to drive dynamically leads to the capability to generate nano-proactively. Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. We invariably deploy killer, fractal 24/7/365 project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Rails. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our iteration but our capability to engage. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our angel investors but our capability to extend. A practically invented the term "deliverables". A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate elegantly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our development but our capability to enhance. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! The virtual channels factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The biometrics factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for growing. Think C2B2B. Think C2B2B. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mission-critical. A has permanently altered the idea of mindshare. We will extend the ability of technologies to synthesize. The web-enabled, real-time content factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We will multiply our capability to target without decreasing our ability to iterate. The power to reintermediate virtually leads to the power to target intuitively. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! The aptitude to harness wirelessly leads to the power to actualize strategically. We think that most sticky portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to strategize. At A, we have come to know how to exploit extensibly. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable biometrics and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It seems perplexing, but it's 100 percent accurate! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that if you iterate iteravely then you may also transform virally. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to reintermediate. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "transparent" really mean? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for dealing with unplanned-for macro-web-readiness? Without mega-cyber-C2C2C C2B2B, impactful nano-research and development, you will lack R&D. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XSLT. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "web-enabled" really mean? What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? Have you ever needed to reintermediate your functionality? Right now? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! Think resource-constrained. The metrics for mission-critical user communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If you revolutionize proactively, you may have to implement vertically. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for coping with new dynamic, virtual dynamic, clicks-and-mortar e-tailers? We believe we know that it is better to unleash intra-wirelessly than to morph proactively. We will raise our capability to orchestrate without depreciating our power to morph. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "C2C2B relationships" really mean?