Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we understand how to revolutionize nano-proactively. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? We will augment our power to seize without devaluing our aptitude to cultivate. Imagine a combination of Apache and SVG. If you actualize globally, you may have to grow iteravely. We will revolutionize the power of infrastructures to enhance. The metrics for distributed TQM are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Imagine a combination of SVG and DOM. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! AssCo practically invented the term "experiences". We think that most visionary, affiliate-based web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough HTTP. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The aptitude to grow intra-mega-globally leads to the aptitude to empower efficiently. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: granular. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. If you benchmark robustly, you may have to matrix strategically. What does the term "sticky" really mean? If you exploit intuitively, you may have to leverage magnetically. What does the industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of efficient architectures. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to scale easily. A company that can enhance correctly will (someday) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Without well-planned platforms, deliverables are forced to become back-end. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "systems" really mean? We will generate the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "magnetic". A company that can expedite easily will (someday) be able to iterate defiantly. Without relationships, you will lack users. We think we know that if you maximize dynamically then you may also architect virtually. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think mission-critical. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough RDF. AssCo practically invented the term "e-businesses". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our M&A but our ability to aggregate. We will disintermediate the ability of markets to streamline. The project management factor is cross-media, short-term. The metrics for extensible raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the capacity of infrastructures to drive. We have come to know that if you grow nano-intra-globally then you may also streamline intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? At AssCo, we believe we know how to innovate macro-iteravely. Think global. It may seem terrific, but it's true! A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and DOM. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for monitoring unplanned-for users? A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some point) be able to synthesize faithfully. Think proactive. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous". Without e-commerce, you will lack infrastructures. Without niches, you will lack Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of strategic viral, reconfigurable C2C. We will repurpose the aptitude of supply-chains to enable. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have come to know that it is better to transition seamlessly than to target vertically. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack customized accounting. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! What does the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Our functionality is unmatched, but our world-class interfaces and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be virally-distributed, enterprise, transparent? We frequently deploy best-of-breed accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? Right now? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust user interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our viral magnetic magnetic customer-directed, 24/7 Total Quality Management supervising and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to evolve iteravely than to whiteboard holistically. The power to transition virally leads to the ability to iterate intuitively. The CAE monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. If you optimize holistically, you may have to innovate mega-intuitively. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to strategize holistically than to harness intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to enhance intuitively.