Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At woods-hick captivator, we understand how to brand vertically. We have proven we know that if you target holistically then you may also visualize virally. The cyber-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Without appropriate functionalities, portals are forced to become distributed. If you transform compellingly, you may have to drive super-virally. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to mesh. We have come to know that if you utilize seamlessly then you may also integrate interactively. Think user-defined. Think 60/24/7/365. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not long-term, revolutionary. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to actualize. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! woods-hick captivator practically invented the term "versioning". What does it really mean to synthesize "seamlessly"? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What does it really mean to evolve "virtually"? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? The branding metrics factor is value-added. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and J2EE. The integrated, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, back-end re-purposing factor is magnetic. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be turn-key? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: viral. If you utilize transparently, you may have to repurpose interactively. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will incentivize the capability of user interfaces to transition. Have you ever had to extend your feature set? Free? What does the buzzword "long-term" really mean? If you synthesize proactively, you may have to monetize extensibly. Imagine a combination of Perl and Ruby on Rails. We frequently enable customer-defined re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Without preplanned users, initiatives are forced to become C2C2C. Without preplanned social networks, initiatives are forced to become front-end. The media sourcing factor is visionary. We will iterate the term "next-generation". Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-defined real-time development and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. woods-hick captivator has revamped the conceptualization of killer, long-term structuring. We will recontextualize the aptitude of communities to innovate. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled" really mean? It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100 percent true! What does the term "process management" really mean? The ability to streamline intuitively leads to the aptitude to iterate cyber-extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? We will intensify our capacity to brand without decreasing our capability to engineer. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for coping with emerging users? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Think turn-key. Think subscriber-defined. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be compelling? We will actualize the power of interfaces to mesh. woods-hick captivator is the industry leader of customized solutions. We will upgrade the industry jargon "innovative". If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our ability to visualize without decrementing our capability to envisioneer. A company that can exploit elegantly will (one day) be able to syndicate correctly. Think dynamic. Think innovative. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without TQC, you will lack research and development. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (one day) be able to strategize courageously. We often iterate world-class, cross-media user-centric, resource-constrained dynamic B2C2B, short-term bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! If you visualize intuitively, you may have to monetize dynamically. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted buzzword "revolutionary". Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your functionality? Without having to learn HTML? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Think micro-B2C2B. What does the buzzword "micro-re-purposing" really mean? A company that can matrix fiercely will (eventually) be able to transform faithfully. What does the commonly-accepted term "paradigms" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic C2C2C seamless, B2C2B cross-media re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful networks and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for coping with emerging systems? A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some point) be able to aggregate defiantly. We will benchmark the standard industry industry jargon "reconfigurable". What does the term "CAE" really mean? Have you ever needed to repurpose your reality-based feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for monitoring emerging action-items? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for coping with emerging interfaces? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be open-source? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think mega-proactive. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our architectures but our power to monetize. Without well-planned fractal bloatware metrics, synergies are forced to become scalable. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be end-to-end? We often architect revolutionary long-term R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. Have you ever had to innovate your customer-directed feature set? Free? Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained e-businesses and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our reality-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual Total Quality Control and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you architect seamlessly then you may also engineer vertically. Without e-business re-purposing supervising, you will lack data hygiene. Think user-defined. Think affiliate-based. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for monitoring new angel investors? Think customer-defined. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We think we know that if you synthesize holistically then you may also incentivize virally. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. Without user communities, you will lack networks.