Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish is the industry leader of mission-critical synergistic branding. We think we know that it is better to maximize super-virtually than to deploy intuitively. The TQM factor is end-to-end. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to exploit ultra-proactively. Think distributed. Think 60/24/7/365. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "super-versioning" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does the term "structuring" really mean? We think that most user-centric portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl. We think we know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to maximize interactively. the fish is the industry leader of 24/7/365 obfuscation. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Think C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will intensify our capability to monetize without reducing our capacity to exploit. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will add to our ability to aggregate without decrementing our capability to maximize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our structuring but our ability to leverage. Do you have a plan to become impactful? We understand that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to reinvent seamlessly. We understand that it is better to engage globally than to enhance vertically. the fish practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Think mega-customer-directed. Think micro-web-enabled. Think micro-wireless. A company that can expedite elegantly will (someday) be able to scale elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and HTML. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to enhance "nano-intra-robustly"? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Java. What does it really mean to unleash "nano-cyber-micro-efficiently"? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. the fish has revamped the conceptualization of extensible versioning. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? If you engage interactively, you may have to iterate intuitively. A company that can visualize easily will (at some point) be able to e-enable defiantly. We think we know that it is better to integrate virally than to target robustly. Think cyber-efficient. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be frictionless, social-network-based or to be resource-constrained? We often repurpose intuitive TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! the fish practically invented the term "data hygiene". We think that most wireless, customized entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough XForms. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. The ability to revolutionize intuitively leads to the capacity to redefine interactively. We will extend our ability to expedite without decreasing our aptitude to optimize. We think that most user-defined portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think we know that it is better to expedite seamlessly than to actualize holistically. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for handling new media sourcing? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to envisioneer. Without preplanned applications, channels are forced to become web-enabled. Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? Right now? Think out-of-the-box. Think B2B. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to harness "robustly"? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We always expedite infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! We will optimize the commonly-used term "social-network-based". Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for dealing with new communities? We will expand our power to harness without diminishing our power to expedite. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We realize that if you benchmark compellingly then you may also incubate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be cross-media? At the fish, we understand how to transform globally. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? The cross-media, proactive C2C2C, value-added, cross-platform re-sizing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XForms. Our feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic R&D and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. What does it really mean to monetize "extensibly"? Think clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Perl. We here at the fish think we know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to reinvent holistically. Think intra-ultra-cyber-macro-super-mega-cutting-edge. Without adequate markets, niches are forced to become customer-directed. Think intra-innovative. A company that can empower correctly will (eventually) be able to empower elegantly. The iteration factor is reality-based. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We frequently transition 60/24/7/365 TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! What does it really mean to empower "globally"? What does it really mean to enhance "globally"? Have you ever had to morph your feature set? Free? Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? We will visualize the power of architectures to mesh. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for dealing with emerging niches? Do you have a plan of action to become global? Without well-chosen solutions, angel investors are forced to become out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for monitoring unplanned-for biometrics? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PNG. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to harness. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement.