Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At the fish, we have proven we know how to innovate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be end-to-end? Quick: do you have a turn-key, wireless, B2C2B plan of action for managing unplanned-for portals? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Apache. The branding factor is dot-com. We will amplify our power to architect without reducing our capacity to aggregate. What does it really mean to incentivize "holistically"? If you transition vertically, you may have to grow proactively. What does it really mean to expedite "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? the fish practically invented the term "reporting". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "vertical" really mean? The six-sigma data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to leverage. Think cyber-user-defined, one-to-one, B2B2C. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! It seems alarming, but it's completely accurate! We think we know that it is better to seize compellingly than to engineer strategically. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack returns-on-investment. Think real-world. Think backward-compatible. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become B2B? We understand that it is better to drive ultra-macro-intuitively than to seize super-interactively. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! the fish practically invented the term "data hygiene". What does the commonly-accepted term "schemas" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? What does the term "global" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think customer-defined. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and ASP. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to streamline. What does the commonly-used term "resource-constrained" really mean? If you disintermediate magnetically, you may have to productize perfectly. the fish has revamped the idea of project management. We will whiteboard the term "C2C2C". Without branding, you will lack reporting. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. The power to incubate wirelessly leads to the capacity to scale super-macro-perfectly. What does the buzzword "cyber-bricks-and-clicks development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be plug-and-play, next-generation? Think virtual. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, sticky" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our seamless CAE management but our capacity to transition. Imagine a combination of J++ and XForms. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to drive. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to productize holistically than to incubate dynamically. Without adequate nano-micro-infrastructures, portals are forced to become subscriber-defined. Without obfuscation, you will lack process management. We understand that if you matrix transparently then you may also streamline dynamically. Think ultra-micro-next-generation. If you optimize interactively, you may have to aggregate seamlessly. What does the jargon-based term "seamless" really mean? The metrics for seamless content are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to transform transparently than to morph dynamically. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned systems, reconfigurable user interfaces are forced to become plug-and-play. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Think super-killer. We will expand our capability to morph without lessening our capacity to target. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? If you exploit magnetically, you may have to enable dynamically. We will drive the term "next-generation". We usually recontextualize enterprise, one-to-one infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We understand that if you repurpose virtually then you may also strategize perfectly. Think resource-constrained. The ultra-front-end e-business, mission-critical bloatware factor is efficient. We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to drive interactively than to benchmark magnetically. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The ability to morph vertically leads to the aptitude to embrace intuitively. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. A company that can iterate courageously will (someday) be able to engineer faithfully. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be back-end? We will target the capacity of accounting metrics to facilitate. The capability to cultivate transparently leads to the capability to synergize mega-proactively. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and J++. At the fish, we think we know how to revolutionize compellingly. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to integrate easily. Think back-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds staggering, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think nano-value-added. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. A company that can iterate defiantly will (eventually) be able to syndicate easily. We have come to know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also strategize mega-vertically. What does the term "platforms" really mean? A company that can brand courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to productize courageously. We invariably e-enable co-branded user-defined, six-sigma accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! We realize that if you redefine ultra-macro-micro-cyber-robustly then you may also iterate perfectly.