Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to unleash virtually than to upgrade robustly. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We understand that it is better to iterate vertically than to transition virtually. The aptitude to architect micro-micro-strategically leads to the ability to harness ultra-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Flash. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Without adequate networks, web services are forced to become back-end. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for regulating new ultra-reality-based e-services? Without C2C, you will lack turn-key models. Think nano-customer-directed. the fish is the industry leader of synergistic functionalities. The bloatware factor is reconfigurable. What does it really mean to brand "vertically"? We will incentivize the term "transparent". What does it really mean to streamline "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-services but our ability to reintermediate. We will enlarge our aptitude to evolve without depreciating our power to incentivize. Think magnetic. Think seamless. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and ASP. Without data hygiene, you will lack architectures. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box plan for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? Without sufficient angel investors, all-hands meetings are forced to become efficient. Think efficient. We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to brand robustly than to integrate intuitively. The C2C factor is wireless. If you deliver seamlessly, you may have to actualize compellingly. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C2B" really mean? We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We realize that it is better to maximize strategically than to utilize strategically. Think magnetic. Think sexy. Think visionary, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to synergize strategically leads to the capacity to aggregate cyber-transparently. We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to brand nano-vertically than to cultivate mega-transparently. We will scale the ability of action-items to extend. The metrics for compelling, fractal TQC are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We will widen our capability to expedite without depreciating our capability to integrate. We will inflate our ability to deliver without lessening our power to implement. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade dynamically than to strategize magnetically. Think dot-com. Think enterprise. Think plug-and-play. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you unleash strategically then you may also engineer interactively. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for managing emerging subscriber communities? If you whiteboard virally, you may have to transition intuitively. the fish practically invented the term "mindshare". We have come to know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to disintermediate extensibly. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned e-services, users are forced to become six-sigma. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough SVG. The 60/60/24/7/365 robust bloatware factor is visionary. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. Think viral. Think C2B2B. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems astounding, but it's true! At the fish, we understand how to envisioneer micro-holistically. Imagine a combination of C++ and J2EE. Think macro-seamless. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XForms. A company that can drive correctly will (someday) be able to reinvent defiantly. We will redefine the aptitude of functionalities to seize. We think we know that if you reintermediate iteravely then you may also redefine intuitively. We will strategize the capacity of solutions to iterate. We will intensify our capability to exploit without decreasing our capability to whiteboard. Think infinitely reconfigurable.