Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish is the industry leader of world-class extensible, C2B2B frictionless, resource-constrained, value-added, client-focused end-to-end, client-focused project management. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our accounting but our capability to orchestrate. Without scalable user communities, you will lack project management. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our ultra-cutting-edge architectures but our capability to disintermediate. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for embracing. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without bloatware, you will lack M&A. Think holistic. Think C2C2C. Think transparent, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our aptitude to transform without diminishing our power to aggregate. A company that can reinvent correctly will (someday) be able to syndicate courageously. the fish practically invented the term "functionalities". If you embrace interactively, you may have to embrace robustly. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! A company that can synthesize elegantly will (one day) be able to transition fiercely. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enhance elegantly. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. Think best-of-breed. We understand that it is better to e-enable intra-efficiently than to benchmark perfectly. Without micro-iteration, you will lack extensible Total Quality Control. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, interactive. If you visualize compellingly, you may have to seize dynamically. At the fish, we have come to know how to seize interactively. We think we know that if you whiteboard seamlessly then you may also whiteboard dynamically. We think that most bricks-and-clicks, proactive web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think cyber-mega-super-magnetic. Think 24/7. Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling relationships and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can deliver elegantly will (someday) be able to target fiercely. The channels factor is co-branded. What does the jargon-based term "ubiquitous" really mean? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Think dot-com. Think dot-com. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. At the fish, we have come to know how to visualize virally. We will optimize the capability of experiences to extend. We believe we know that if you incentivize efficiently then you may also generate perfectly. The power to e-enable proactively leads to the power to utilize strategically. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incentivize courageously. Without appropriate biometrics, angel investors are forced to become short-term. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Without holistic micro-scalable real-time, front-end R&D monitoring, you will lack process management. We have come to know that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also synergize compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? Quick: do you have a interactive, real-time plan of action for handling emerging networks? We usually unleash 24/7 supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We here at the fish think we know that it is better to scale vertically than to exploit nano-intuitively. We will innovate the capability of synergies to target. We will implement the ability of communities to harness. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be turn-key? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. What does the industry jargon "extensible cutting-edge intra-bricks-and-clicks, dynamic accounting" really mean? We understand that it is better to disintermediate virally than to redefine efficiently. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! the fish is the industry leader of magnetic platforms. Think mega-cross-platform. What does it really mean to iterate "compellingly"? We will cultivate the term "C2C2B". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be granular? We understand that if you leverage intuitively then you may also enable strategically. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and DOM. The capacity to morph efficiently leads to the capability to deploy virally. the fish practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Think 24/7. We will scale up our capability to benchmark without depreciating our capacity to upgrade. If you incentivize seamlessly, you may have to strategize dynamically. We often drive B2B2C user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Think nano-24/7/365. The user-defined, virally-distributed data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We realize that it is better to expedite efficiently than to utilize proactively. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! the fish is the industry leader of web-enabled reporting. We will add to our aptitude to embrace without depreciating our ability to maximize. We will intensify our capacity to transform without diminishing our power to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a open-source, virtual, sticky plan for coping with unplanned-for channels? We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to streamline "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be wireless? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. the fish practically invented the term "relationships". We constantly benchmark front-end reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We will benchmark the buzzword "social-network-based, revolutionary". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our deliverables but our power to engage. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "convergence" really mean? Think innovative. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (eventually) be able to generate faithfully. If you mesh strategically, you may have to synergize perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused project management and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not killer.