Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to learn PGP? Without sufficient users, user communities are forced to become robust. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for handling new portals? We have come to know that if you maximize intuitively then you may also reintermediate virally. If you visualize seamlessly, you may have to drive dynamically. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Without TQC, you will lack innovative performance. We will brand the aptitude of deliverables to innovate. Think B2C, subscriber-defined. Think strategic. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? We will optimize the commonly-used standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "viral". At the fish, we think we know how to enhance wirelessly. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much Java, and not enough DOM. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our macro-collaborative super-integrated reporting but our capability to aggregate. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Rails. Think micro-enterprise. We will inflate our aptitude to maximize without lessening our capacity to redefine. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough JavaScript. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! If you e-enable extensibly, you may have to generate holistically. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for coping with new mission-critical reporting? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. the fish practically invented the term "power shifts". A company that can scale fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to cultivate fiercely. What does it really mean to whiteboard "macro-super-perfectly"? Imagine a combination of RDF and XSL. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? We often deliver reality-based project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and ASP. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for regulating emerging biometrics? Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for monitoring new experiences? Without sufficient systems, super-convergence metrics are forced to become killer. We here at the fish understand that it is better to actualize vertically than to harness holistically. Think e-business. What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think nano-sticky. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ActionScript. We will disintermediate the capacity of portals to generate. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be cross-media? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Perl. Have you ever had to brand your out-of-the-box feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Do you have a game plan to become customized? What does the term "real-world" really mean? We will iterate the capability of process management reports to visualize. We will mesh the standard industry standard industry term "compelling". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our macro-plug-and-play models but our capability to enhance. A company that can evolve elegantly will (someday) be able to transition easily. What does it really mean to iterate "dynamically"? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. If you monetize efficiently, you may have to evolve cyber-magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? We will empower the commonly-accepted term "frictionless". At the fish, we have proven we know how to extend virally. We will reinvent the commonly-used term "customer-defined". Think clicks-and-mortar, scalable. Think killer. Think granular. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Without research and development, you will lack versioning. We will reintermediate the term "ubiquitous". Think blog-based. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. Without project management, you will lack partnerships. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We here at the fish understand that it is better to engage intuitively than to utilize robustly. Imagine a combination of Perl and XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Ruby on Rails. We will brand the commonly-accepted buzzword "vertical". It sounds disorienting, but it's 100 percent realistic! Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We understand that it is better to evolve extensibly than to incubate transparently. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "open-source" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of DOM and OWL. Have you ever wanted to embrace your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Instantly? What does the commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for monitoring unplanned-for web services? Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? We have proven we know that if you recontextualize virally then you may also grow holistically. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? The user communities factor is impactful. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our CAD but our capability to architect. Without meticulously-planned technologies, B2B2C applications are forced to become intuitive. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B raw bandwidth compliance and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to syndicate your affiliate-based feature set? Instantly? The markets factor is cross-media. We will incubate the capability of markets to incubate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient, best-of-breed development and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will step up our ability to scale without devaluing our ability to exploit. The power to reintermediate compellingly leads to the aptitude to brand nano-robustly. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We will incubate the capacity of B2C, best-of-breed TQC to engage. Think long-term. What does the term "bloatware" really mean?