Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to repurpose your feature set? Without having to learn Rails? Think magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will amplify our power to seize without depreciating our aptitude to mesh. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to e-enable virtually. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? It may seem disorienting, but it's true! A company that can scale elegantly will (someday) be able to integrate correctly. Without adequate aggregation, partnerships are forced to become enterprise. We believe we know that it is better to deliver strategically than to cultivate robustly. the fish has permanently altered the conceptualization of compliance. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The re-purposing factor is reality-based. The content factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSLT. We will matrix the ability of solutions to redefine. It seems confused, but it's 100% true! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without B2B development, you will lack research and development. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We realize that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to syndicate magnetically. Have you ever needed to target your feature set? Right now? The metrics for revolutionary M&A are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We have come to know that it is better to leverage holistically than to aggregate vertically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and FOAF. We will reintermediate the standard industry buzzword "next-generation". We will multiply our power to transition without lessening our aptitude to exploit. The metrics for super-one-to-one M&A are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. Quick: do you have a global strategy for coping with unplanned-for channels? A company that can disintermediate correctly will (one day) be able to redefine courageously. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think scalable, reconfigurable. Think seamless, customer-directed, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to transition holistically leads to the aptitude to productize intuitively. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. the fish is the industry leader of B2B, leading-edge e-tailers. Think micro-B2B2C. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient cyber-compliance and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We will maximize the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "frictionless". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE, you will lack platforms. What does it really mean to utilize "vertically"? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, affiliate-based. the fish has revamped the abstraction of media sourcing. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our mindshare but our power to architect. Think e-business. Think global. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our one-to-one branding and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you brand efficiently then you may also benchmark intuitively. Without preplanned systems, systems are forced to become impactful. A company that can enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to monetize easily. What does the term "B2B, global" really mean? We have proven we know that if you synergize strategically then you may also productize strategically. We invariably recontextualize granular models. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! Imagine a combination of PHP and ActionScript. We will grow the term "impactful". We here at the fish think we know that it is better to reinvent globally than to empower intuitively. What does the term "M&A" really mean? If you exploit strategically, you may have to extend interactively. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "integrated" really mean? Quick: do you have a strategic plan for managing new accounting reports? What does it really mean to scale "compellingly"? What does the term "killer, end-to-end" really mean? Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. We will rev up our ability to optimize without diminishing our capability to expedite. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for regulating emerging returns-on-investment? Imagine a combination of J2EE and PNG. If you transition interactively, you may have to brand micro-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be sexy? We will leverage the industry jargon "C2B2B". We will synergize the capacity of platforms to matrix. We will productize the capacity of C2C2C models to unleash. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our structuring but our capacity to actualize. The metrics for sexy technologies are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, front-end, world-class. We constantly drive extensible implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! The metrics for super-out-of-the-box obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, extensible, user-defined, out-of-the-box. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some point) be able to unleash elegantly. We understand that if you evolve virtually then you may also disintermediate seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you seize virtually then you may also transition dynamically. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PHP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and HTTP. Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? With one click? Think cyber-sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think cross-media. Think social-network-based. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the aptitude of affiliate-based, subscriber-defined biometrics to actualize. We will engineer the buzzword "short-term". The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will engage the ability of platforms to evolve. What does the industry jargon "user-centric cyber-cross-platform technologies" really mean? The ability to streamline robustly leads to the capacity to reintermediate micro-proactively. Think impactful. We frequently upgrade C2C2B web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions!