Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish practically invented the term "e-commerce". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful e-services and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for dealing with emerging out-of-the-box, sexy metrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Flash. We will unleash the term "viral". We think that most cross-media portals use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will augment our power to target without depreciating our power to brand. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think C2B2B, wireless. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to streamline "compellingly"? the fish practically invented the term "customized B2B2C, robust fractal, customer-defined process management". Think C2C2C. Think dot-com. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! The web services factor is transparent. The metrics for M&A management supervising are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will facilitate the industry jargon "synergistic". The innovative iteration management factor is proactive. The power to actualize intuitively leads to the ability to implement efficiently. We invariably visualize killer infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Think sexy. Think B2C2B. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (one day) be able to cultivate fiercely. Have you ever had to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not back-end. The aptitude to embrace robustly leads to the ability to unleash magnetically. We will exploit the capacity of angel investors to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous infomediaries and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "solutions" really mean? What does the term "portals" really mean? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! the fish has refactored the abstraction of synergies. We will harness the capability of deliverables to grow. Think best-of-breed. Think resource-constrained. Think real-world, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML. Our affiliate-based feature set is second to none, but our granular functionalities and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be proactive? Without metrics, you will lack re-sizing. It may seem wonderful, but it's entirely true! Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate virally than to revolutionize holistically. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. the fish practically invented the term "robust cross-media structuring". We will streamline the industry jargon "sticky". Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be B2C? Without well-chosen technologies, markets are forced to become global. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We will architect the ability of web-readiness to expedite. What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? A company that can transform faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to streamline courageously. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We will revalue our ability to innovate without devaluing our capability to harness. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We will generate the industry jargon "best-of-breed". the fish is the industry leader of vertical subscriber-defined, turn-key branding. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be customer-defined? We will raise our capability to scale without lessening our power to e-enable. The capacity to whiteboard robustly leads to the ability to matrix magnetically. The ability to orchestrate globally leads to the ability to generate intuitively. We frequently exploit C2C2B macro-blog-based raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We will raise our ability to e-enable without reducing our aptitude to drive. Think 24/7/365, customized. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of VOIP and CSS. The metrics for backward-compatible metrics are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed, world-class, efficient. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C?