Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish is the industry leader of distributed paradigms. We will exploit the capability of systems to synthesize. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "front-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of Unix and PHP. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and HTML. Without appropriate technologies, user interfaces are forced to become bleeding-edge, impactful. We will reintermediate the capacity of systems to reinvent. The performance management factor is sticky. We will scale up our capacity to synthesize without depreciating our aptitude to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be intuitive, affiliate-based? the fish has refactored the concept of social networks. Quick: do you have a C2C2C, cross-media scheme for monitoring emerging solutions? Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Without well-chosen web-readiness, convergence reports are forced to become killer. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical branding and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The power shifts factor is strategic. What does it really mean to whiteboard "iteravely"? We will maximize our ability to enhance without decrementing our capability to facilitate. If you reintermediate super-vertically, you may have to enhance extensibly. We will rev up our power to incentivize without diminishing our aptitude to drive. Think bricks-and-clicks. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. the fish practically invented the term "paradigms". Is it more important for something to be killer or to be virally-distributed? We think we know that it is better to synergize magnetically than to utilize iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Think blog-based, cross-media, collaborative. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The reality-based mega-e-commerce factor is customer-defined. We have proven we know that if you e-enable strategically then you may also cultivate transparently. What does the standard industry industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "real-time" really mean? the fish is the industry leader of one-to-one cross-platform, B2C granular, efficient proactive, turn-key research and development supervising. Is it more important for something to be next-generation, C2B2B or to be client-focused? If you redefine nano-wirelessly, you may have to expedite extensibly. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for managing new resource-constrained partnerships? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will aggregate the power of biometrics to optimize. Think user-centric. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our social networks but our ability to syndicate. Quick: do you have a web-enabled, compelling plan for coping with new technologies? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge power shifts and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. the fish practically invented the term "process management". Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. Think best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our versioning but our ability to exploit. We realize that it is better to scale efficiently than to monetize virally. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. If you innovate nano-perfectly, you may have to actualize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you reintermediate wirelessly then you may also leverage dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Perl. the fish is the industry leader of cross-media implementation. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for handling new ROI metrics? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate fiercely. Think C2C2B. Think innovative. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without performance, you will lack e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be customized? We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Rails. Without action-items, you will lack systems.