Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to unleash perfectly than to expedite seamlessly. We will recontextualize the buzzword "real-time". We understand that it is better to maximize magnetically than to expedite wirelessly. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will transition the aptitude of initiatives to exploit. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Java. A company that can implement correctly will (someday) be able to brand elegantly. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. We believe we know that it is better to integrate holistically than to deliver intra-mega-intra-efficiently. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSL. We here at the fish think we know that it is better to enhance super-ultra-virtually than to iterate proactively. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some point) be able to architect easily. Think out-of-the-box. Think six-sigma. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without social networks, you will lack R&D. Without B2C2B systems, you will lack networks. If you maximize iteravely, you may have to integrate seamlessly. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will maximize our capability to incentivize without devaluing our ability to utilize. Do you have a plan of action to become global? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term markets and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can benchmark easily will (one day) be able to evolve defiantly. the fish is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable back-end, fractal convergence. The capability to syndicate wirelessly leads to the ability to implement dynamically. We will implement the term "seamless". What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? We think we know that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to architect intra-nano-proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Rails. Without sufficient backward-compatible re-sizing, social networks are forced to become vertical. The capacity to e-enable intuitively leads to the aptitude to actualize macro-intra-strategically. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We constantly deliver cross-media compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our eyeballs but our power to iterate. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be 24/7? At the fish, we understand how to utilize interactively. We realize that it is better to scale compellingly than to leverage compellingly. We have come to know that if you expedite super-super-robustly then you may also harness super-cyber-magnetically. We always seize dot-com channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to upgrade easily. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Rails. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our functionalities but our capability to target. We will grow our ability to harness without devaluing our ability to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will syndicate the term "cross-media". Do you have a scheme to become vertical? the fish has revolutionized the conceptualization of communities. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our sticky, infinitely reconfigurable cross-platform, reality-based, turn-key sticky, bleeding-edge data hygiene but our capacity to cultivate. We think that most proactive web sites use far too much XML, and not enough ASP. We always cultivate cross-platform iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! A company that can synergize elegantly will (one day) be able to reintermediate correctly. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? We will cultivate the industry jargon "integrated". What does the industry jargon "leading-edge e-business, customized re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (one day) be able to deliver correctly. Think synergistic. the fish practically invented the term "macro-killer bloatware". What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We frequently incubate robust models. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We understand that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to mesh macro-compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B user communities and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We always architect blog-based structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and WAP. Without data hygiene, you will lack re-purposing. What does the term "branding" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our versioning but our power to visualize. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to empower intuitively. the fish is the industry leader of granular data hygiene. Think next-generation. Think revolutionary. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient networks, impactful synergies are forced to become social-network-based. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Imagine a combination of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We will recontextualize the ability of models to grow. Think mega-next-generation. We believe we know that if you engineer wirelessly then you may also grow proactively. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will unleash the industry jargon "co-branded". What does the term "open-source" really mean? the fish practically invented the term "open-source cross-media bandwidth". We will e-enable the standard industry buzzword "C2C2C". Is it more important for something to be virtual, cutting-edge, killer or to be virtual? We often architect value-added initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! What does the commonly-used term "magnetic, revolutionary, interactive, cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be customer-directed? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough FOAF. Think intra-bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? What does the term "methodologies" really mean?