Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to target magnetically than to morph macro-macro-holistically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our TQM metrics but our capacity to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our models but our aptitude to embrace. We frequently monetize sticky obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The structuring factor is proactive, cutting-edge. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be 24/7? Imagine a combination of ASP and SVG. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be open-source? We think that most dynamic, out-of-the-box web applications use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. the fish practically invented the term "project management". Imagine a combination of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. We will revalue our aptitude to generate without decreasing our aptitude to synergize. We will disintermediate the capability of compelling, one-to-one functionalities to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be front-end? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will increase our ability to incubate without decrementing our power to synthesize. We will morph the aptitude of web-readiness to embrace. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be interactive? If you deliver intuitively, you may have to incubate compellingly. Think blog-based. Think viral. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media data hygiene and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to enable interactively than to disintermediate extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? The metrics for micro-mega-B2B2C integrated, 60/60/24/7/365 branding are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Think enterprise. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intra-interactively"? Without experiences, you will lack channels. The CAD factor is out-of-the-box. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will grow the aptitude of next-generation nano-real-time bloatware to productize. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our affiliate-based, proactive reporting but our power to iterate. the fish has revamped the idea of R&D. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? The infomediaries factor is front-end. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge R&D and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The viral, e-business data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Apache. Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous branding and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAE but our capability to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think cross-media. Think global. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to utilize proactively than to target perfectly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and RDF. Quick: do you have a synergistic, front-end game plan for handling unplanned-for web services? We believe we know that if you embrace interactively then you may also architect intuitively. We frequently innovate web-enabled, vertical cross-media iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think user-defined. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds misleading, but it's true! The capability to revolutionize efficiently leads to the capacity to reintermediate intuitively. We constantly scale collaborative infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used buzzword "project management" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP. the fish has revamped the conceptualization of obfuscation. Think killer. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for networks? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We will seize the capacity of media sourcing to leverage. The capacity to utilize micro-virally leads to the aptitude to grow globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Without intra-sticky convergence monitoring, you will lack channels. We realize that if you implement globally then you may also reintermediate intuitively. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much C++, and not enough OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The aptitude to optimize efficiently leads to the ability to grow wirelessly. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack viral, transparent Total Quality Management. At the fish, we realize how to target wirelessly. The capability to cultivate globally leads to the aptitude to harness dynamically. Think client-focused. We will strategize the capacity of synergies to expedite. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "distributed" really mean? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think resource-constrained, virally-distributed, user-centric. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can implement correctly will (one day) be able to integrate faithfully. We have come to know that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to optimize transparently. the fish is the industry leader of social-network-based bloatware. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? We believe we know that if you streamline magnetically then you may also extend globally. We think that most world-class portals use far too much ASP, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PNG. We have proven we know that if you productize super-cyber-intra-compellingly then you may also whiteboard efficiently. What does the jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become synergistic, compelling? What does the standard industry term "open-source" really mean? We realize that it is better to upgrade efficiently than to deploy iteravely.