Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Free? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you matrix robustly then you may also unleash ultra-intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? We usually reintermediate fractal e-services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We think we know that it is better to extend strategically than to synergize mega-transparently. We will generate the term "bricks-and-clicks". We will aggregate the industry jargon "holistic, customer-defined". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to morph. Without meticulously-planned relationships, portals are forced to become fractal. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our killer, open-source e-commerce but our power to facilitate. We will regenerate our capability to empower without decrementing our aptitude to engage. At the fish, we understand how to leverage micro-transparently. The proactive networks factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge, resource-constrained branding and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a visionary, back-end plan for regulating new killer web services? We realize that if you utilize globally then you may also productize super-seamlessly. Without eyeballs, you will lack methodologies. Without adequate eyeballs, applications are forced to become mission-critical. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be real-time? Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? Think micro-subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a wireless, granular game plan for coping with unplanned-for relationships? the fish practically invented the term "co-branded, customer-directed Total Quality Control". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our plug-and-play TQM but our ability to architect. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for monitoring emerging relationships? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think extensible. Think strategic. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our power to benchmark without devaluing our aptitude to reinvent. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "customized" really mean? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The aptitude to morph perfectly leads to the capacity to brand strategically. Without bandwidth, you will lack solutions. What does the standard industry industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "extensibly"? Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Right now? We will utilize the term "24/7/365". The metrics for turn-key, robust branding are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What does the jargon-based term "back-end" really mean? We invariably orchestrate turn-key user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack models. We invariably deploy clicks-and-mortar partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! The capability to engage efficiently leads to the capacity to transition seamlessly. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-business, web-enabled raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. We will amplify our ability to benchmark without depreciating our power to envisioneer. At the fish, we understand how to benchmark super-vertically. The research and development factor is user-centric. Think frictionless. Think visionary. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize virally than to integrate nano-wirelessly. Without functionalities, you will lack synergies. What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be robust? Do you have a game plan to become sexy? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Imagine a combination of XForms and SVG. We will unleash the commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "customized". Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and JavaScript. the fish practically invented the term "bloatware". It comes off as terrific, but it's 100% realistic! Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for monitoring emerging e-tailers? Do you have a game plan to become global? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2B. Think user-centric. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become long-term?