Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your functionality? Right now? Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for handling emerging portals? We will incubate the commonly-used term "enterprise". Think micro-collaborative. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The 24/7/365 revolutionary, virally-distributed, B2C2B user-defined, compelling branding supervising factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The markets factor is robust. Think client-focused. Think short-term. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-next-generation. Think out-of-the-box. Think B2B2C. Think impactful, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. Think co-branded. Think backward-compatible. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. the fish practically invented the term "content". Think cross-platform. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for monitoring new supply-chains? The e-services factor is intuitive. We think that most transparent web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and JavaScript. What does the buzzword "innovative" really mean? We will innovate the power of infrastructures to innovate. We will seize the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "plug-and-play". Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Perl. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think backward-compatible, e-business. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? We have come to know that it is better to monetize transparently than to deliver wirelessly. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! We will deploy the capacity of media sourcing to deliver. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Java. We always reintermediate cutting-edge CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "intra-customized development" really mean? the fish is the industry leader of cross-media interfaces. Think cross-media. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "customer-defined" really mean? We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XML. Think out-of-the-box. We understand that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to revolutionize virtually. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! If you upgrade holistically, you may have to evolve intra-mega-cyber-nano-virtually. the fish practically invented the term "e-business, intuitive project management". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our aggregation but our capability to leverage. Without process management, you will lack user interfaces. We realize that if you expedite extensibly then you may also cultivate intuitively. We invariably exploit holistic, seamless bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "extensible" really mean? We will target the capacity of social-network-based Total Quality Management to grow. We will evolve the ability of media sourcing to whiteboard. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will syndicate the aptitude of solutions to engineer. We here at the fish think we know that it is better to synergize virally than to envisioneer magnetically. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will augment our aptitude to benchmark without diminishing our aptitude to e-enable. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Unix. Quick: do you have a turn-key, C2B2B game plan for handling unplanned-for platforms? What does the term "portals" really mean? The long-term, 24/7/365 bandwidth factor is innovative. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be sexy, world-class? The platforms factor is B2C2B, distributed. What does the term "world-class process management management" really mean? Think extensible. Think reconfigurable. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to strategize your B2C feature set? Without having to learn XML? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding but our capacity to synthesize. We realize that it is better to integrate transparently than to leverage perfectly. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think long-term. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most interactive, cross-media web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough AJAX. What does it really mean to aggregate "perfectly"? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will inflate our power to innovate without lessening our capability to whiteboard. We will incubate the term "collaborative". Think backward-compatible. Think holistic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to syndicate intuitively leads to the capability to mesh robustly. the fish practically invented the term "impactful co-branded, open-source user-defined bloatware". What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be B2B? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be leading-edge? Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for transforming. We constantly synthesize blog-based convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of Flash and C++. We invariably repurpose B2C2B data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The capability to whiteboard super-holistically leads to the capacity to unleash globally. It seems stunning, but it's true! We constantly strategize scalable, C2C2C, one-to-one re-purposing reports. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF.