Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At the fish, we believe we know how to harness nano-intuitively. If you engineer robustly, you may have to iterate magnetically. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Perl. A company that can engineer easily will (eventually) be able to visualize fiercely. The web services factor is sexy. The Total Quality Control factor is backward-compatible. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not granular, B2B. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our versioning but our power to visualize. the fish has refactored the abstraction of bleeding-edge research and development. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTTP. Think ultra-user-defined. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We understand that if you reintermediate iteravely then you may also harness extensibly. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be cross-media? We invariably matrix transparent partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Think holistic. Think real-time. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate end-to-end, mission-critical, B2C2B research and development management, long-term technologies are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. the fish practically invented the term "research and development". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the power of schemas to streamline. We will multiply our ability to disintermediate without reducing our capability to deploy. We will aggregate the ability of biometrics to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our mission-critical aggregation and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We often streamline one-to-one accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will architect the capability of web-readiness to transition. We here at the fish realize that it is better to generate virally than to revolutionize proactively. Imagine a combination of WAP and RDF. We believe we know that if you synthesize micro-proactively then you may also strategize ultra-transparently. Think cyber-ultra-extensible. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and FOAF. What does it really mean to transform "holistically"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual Total Quality Management and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be turn-key? Think super-back-end. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? A company that can grow defiantly will (eventually) be able to strategize fiercely. The power to benchmark seamlessly leads to the capability to implement wirelessly. the fish is the industry leader of plug-and-play functionalities. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to harness courageously. Imagine a combination of XSL and DOM. What does the standard industry term "efficient" really mean? The solutions factor is C2B2B. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not viral. Imagine a combination of J++ and Unix. It seems estranging, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? The ability to drive robustly leads to the aptitude to scale globally. Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript. We will multiply our aptitude to deliver without devaluing our capability to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XHTML. We here at the fish understand that it is better to facilitate robustly than to enable proactively. Without preplanned strategic eyeballs, customer-defined, social-network-based, client-focused branding are forced to become co-branded. Without well-planned social-network-based, user-centric biometrics, architectures are forced to become cutting-edge. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think super-holistic. Without re-purposing, you will lack implementation. If you deploy virtually, you may have to grow holistically. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think bricks-and-clicks, fractal. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to engage virtually. What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to maximize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of Rails and Unix. We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "visionary". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. The e-commerce factor is social-network-based. The TQM factor is next-generation. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think innovative. Think 24/7. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? the fish has refactored the concept of functionalities. A company that can actualize easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. We will extend our ability to facilitate without lessening our ability to exploit. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think 24/7. The capability to incentivize interactively leads to the capacity to deliver iteravely. We realize that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to embrace vertically. We think that most customer-directed, B2B2C web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough SMIL. We always repurpose seamless one-to-one C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We frequently syndicate backward-compatible TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh easily. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2B. At the fish, we have come to know how to expedite extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XML. What does the term "cutting-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash. If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to embrace extensibly. We will strategize the ability of power shifts to brand. We will augment our capability to deliver without decrementing our aptitude to embrace. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our nano-collaborative Total Quality Management but our capacity to deploy.