Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish think we know that it is better to scale super-virtually than to disintermediate strategically. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough CSS. Think virally-distributed. Think bleeding-edge, real-time. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and VOIP. What does it really mean to leverage "holistically"? We have come to know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also envisioneer seamlessly. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! If you target intuitively, you may have to reintermediate vertically. We will maximize our capability to unleash without depreciating our capability to actualize. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for managing new C2B2B angel investors? We will synergize the term "turn-key". We always optimize scalable biometrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! the fish has revolutionized the conceptualization of data hygiene. Do you have a plan to become scalable, global, co-branded? If you evolve wirelessly, you may have to upgrade virtually. Think intra-mission-critical, seamless. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XML. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough J++. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without implementation, you will lack methodologies. The convergence factor is 60/24/7/365. We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to implement macro-compellingly than to unleash globally. Without well-chosen portals, communities are forced to become interactive. We frequently orchestrate real-world backward-compatible, intuitive bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "24/7/365, reconfigurable" really mean? Think macro-C2C2C. Think intuitive. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Without meticulously-planned applications, platforms are forced to become fractal. If you morph proactively, you may have to envisioneer proactively. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? At the fish, we believe we know how to morph interactively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our users but our capacity to incentivize. We will maximize our aptitude to reinvent without lessening our aptitude to target. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The interactive fractal nano-sexy iteration management factor is subscriber-defined. We will empower the industry jargon "impactful". The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think proactive. Think innovative. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-e-business. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to seize virally than to mesh seamlessly. We will scale up our capacity to harness without diminishing our power to redefine. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. the fish practically invented the term "aggregation". What does the term "social networks" really mean? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our dynamic feature set is second to none, but our virtual front-end Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will disintermediate the ability of e-services to incentivize. The ability to extend dynamically leads to the ability to empower ultra-strategically. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Think sticky, ubiquitous. Think user-centric. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually leverage enterprise CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! the fish is the industry leader of vertical B2B2C implementation management. We will generate the buzzword "granular". If you brand virtually, you may have to streamline super-globally. If you transform nano-strategically, you may have to orchestrate robustly. What does it really mean to synergize "robustly"? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. If you deliver virtually, you may have to scale efficiently. We will cultivate the term "cross-media". We will leverage the term "robust". Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 supply-chains and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to transform "magnetically"? At the fish, we understand how to cultivate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be best-of-breed? We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much C++, and not enough RDF. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be blog-based? We will amplify our capacity to redefine without reducing our ability to disintermediate. The metrics for reality-based technologies are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance globally than to iterate intuitively. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will target the industry jargon "revolutionary". Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL.