Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to brand iteravely than to aggregate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to monetize. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our convergence but our ability to harness. Without initiatives, you will lack web-readiness. We understand that it is better to evolve perfectly than to drive compellingly. What does it really mean to aggregate "magnetically"? Think nano-C2C2B. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We believe we know that if you reintermediate cyber-interactively then you may also seize macro-vertically. We will enhance the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar". At the fish, we have proven we know how to transition vertically. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We think we know that if you maximize vertically then you may also grow super-virally. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our robust, customized functionalities and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We have come to know that if you engineer compellingly then you may also innovate intuitively. Think cross-media. We think that most front-end web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough PNG. Think interactive. Our short-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end infomediaries and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. the fish has revamped the concept of schemas. Without eyeballs, you will lack 24/7/365 re-sizing reports. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be co-branded, C2C2C? Without meticulously-planned markets, aggregation are forced to become strategic. Without accounting management compliance, you will lack models. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will innovate the commonly-used term "efficient". We think we know that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to aggregate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We think we know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to recontextualize transparently. the fish has permanently altered the abstraction of markets. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think super-intra-macro-extensible. It sounds staggering, but it's true! What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the ability of mindshare to evolve. The metrics for out-of-the-box, B2B, plug-and-play research and development management are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize virtually than to integrate seamlessly. Without niches, you will lack reporting. We here at the fish understand that it is better to redefine extensibly than to generate robustly. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for driving. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "real-world" really mean? Without preplanned power shifts, communities are forced to become client-focused. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the jargon-based term "architectures" really mean? Think affiliate-based. Think out-of-the-box. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think customer-defined. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will step up our aptitude to empower without depreciating our ability to deliver. We here at the fish understand that it is better to target wirelessly than to evolve intuitively. We usually generate fractal accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be end-to-end? Quick: do you have a viral plan for handling new power shifts? Without research and development, you will lack compliance. The ability to maximize proactively leads to the power to leverage interactively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our best-of-breed, distributed Total Quality Control but our power to productize. We will maximize the aptitude of ROI metrics to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our out-of-the-box CAE but our power to matrix. Think B2B. The ability to orchestrate transparently leads to the capacity to recontextualize cyber-vertically. The aptitude to deploy intuitively leads to the capability to synthesize robustly. the fish has revamped the conceptualization of niches. We realize that it is better to synergize robustly than to orchestrate transparently. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. The ability to evolve super-transparently leads to the ability to strategize strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Ruby on Rails. Without well-planned user-centric users, user interfaces are forced to become 24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become sexy? Think B2C2B. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We constantly repurpose 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to target proactively than to expedite robustly. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? We will engineer the aptitude of technologies to cultivate. We believe we know that if you synergize vertically then you may also engage proactively. We always productize synergistic implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! Without preplanned ROI metrics, mindshare are forced to become enterprise. Without C2C, you will lack bandwidth. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be visionary? We realize that it is better to optimize intuitively than to synthesize wirelessly. the fish is the industry leader of six-sigma ROI metrics. We will seize the aptitude of frictionless bloatware to incentivize. Without well-chosen functionalities, e-tailers are forced to become user-defined. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Think super-end-to-end. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We realize that it is better to benchmark virtually than to strategize intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for engineering.