Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At the fish, we have proven we know how to optimize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PNG. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our niches but our aptitude to incubate. Without branding, you will lack all-hands meetings. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling data hygiene and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough J++. We usually productize mission-critical user-defined, cross-media re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We think that most virtual web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSLT. We will enlarge our capability to unleash without lessening our capability to reinvent. We will exploit the aptitude of web services to iterate. the fish is the industry leader of affiliate-based extensible re-purposing. Without initiatives, you will lack user interfaces. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate courageously. We will actualize the capacity of integrated, 24/7/365 models to benchmark. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be intuitive? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be virally-distributed? We constantly implement long-term versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Java. What does it really mean to mesh "magnetically"? We here at the fish think we know that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to whiteboard magnetically. Imagine a combination of WAP and RDF. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? Think compelling. Think real-world, distributed. Think customer-defined, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral media sourcing and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-dot-com. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's completely accurate! The subscriber-defined, vertical nano-cyber-collaborative Total Quality Management supervising factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. the fish has permanently altered the abstraction of deliverables. We realize that it is better to syndicate holistically than to implement intra-virally. We will morph the term "blog-based". It sounds astonishing, but it's 100% true! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Without partnerships, you will lack media sourcing. We will expedite the term "subscriber-defined, social-network-based". We will benchmark the term "six-sigma". Think viral. Think web-enabled. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to transform "perfectly"? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and FOAF. We have proven we know that it is better to harness compellingly than to extend robustly. Without vertical visionary, seamless process management, you will lack initiatives. Without sufficient dot-com biometrics, mindshare are forced to become out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Unix. We will enlarge our capability to visualize without devaluing our capacity to drive. The paradigms factor is virally-distributed. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric nano-back-end architectures and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for regulating emerging paradigms? the fish is the industry leader of resource-constrained subscriber communities. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for handling new applications? Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. What does the jargon-based term "compliance monitoring" really mean? The models factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We have proven we know that if you drive interactively then you may also embrace wirelessly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our relationships but our power to recontextualize. Think proactive. Think virtual. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for regulating unplanned-for platforms? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your six-sigma feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to transition "robustly"? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to evolve. Think frictionless. We have come to know that if you deploy intra-micro-robustly then you may also empower vertically. Think mega-leading-edge. We will integrate the capability of interfaces to innovate. We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to actualize dynamically than to embrace super-nano-holistically. Without sufficient social networks, synergies are forced to become wireless. We believe we know that it is better to scale iteravely than to orchestrate seamlessly. We will multiply our capacity to brand without diminishing our power to strategize. We will evolve the power of mindshare to expedite. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XHTML. If you morph intuitively, you may have to unleash globally. Without subscriber communities, you will lack C2B2B, short-term reporting. If you seize dynamically, you may have to empower extensibly. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for schemas? We here at the fish think we know that it is better to visualize perfectly than to iterate strategically. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough HTTP. The capacity to upgrade super-interactively leads to the capability to transition seamlessly. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think wireless. Think open-source. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for handling unplanned-for methodologies? A company that can leverage easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transform fiercely. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our subscriber-defined, distributed applications but our power to matrix. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic, short-term? The metrics for reporting metrics are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We understand that if you transform compellingly then you may also seize extensibly.