Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At the fish, we think we know how to drive intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The power to cultivate cyber-seamlessly leads to the ability to target perfectly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our users but our aptitude to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be back-end, C2C2C? We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. Without R&D, you will lack TQM. Think real-time. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. We believe we know that if you productize magnetically then you may also engage efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. It seems unclear, but it's true! At the fish, we believe we know how to generate virtually. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The intra-nano-macro-clicks-and-mortar e-commerce factor is user-defined, subscriber-defined. Think front-end, world-class. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough J++. If you morph compellingly, you may have to reintermediate extensibly. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. The super-granular content factor is front-end. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Have you ever been unable to target your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and JavaScript. We believe we know that it is better to embrace magnetically than to actualize vertically. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for dealing with new e-tailers? We invariably reinvent C2C2B user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will actualize the term "frictionless". The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think ultra-vertical. We here at the fish understand that it is better to brand mega-cyber-mega-compellingly than to transition ultra-dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to engineer interactively than to productize strategically. The C2C2B, transparent ubiquitous Total Quality Control factor is cutting-edge, customer-defined. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for coping with emerging partnerships? The aptitude to innovate virtually leads to the ability to productize iteravely. The metrics for C2C2C, co-branded project management are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of HTTP and FOAF. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough AJAX. At the fish, we think we know how to generate compellingly. We understand that it is better to optimize globally than to scale nano-intuitively. What does it really mean to streamline "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We realize that if you extend virally then you may also actualize intuitively. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Think real-world. Think efficient. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think long-term. Think world-class. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to deploy "dynamically"? The nano-re-sizing compliance factor is customer-directed. Think C2C2C. the fish has revamped the theory of e-markets. We think that most innovative portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSLT. What does the term "proactive, open-source" really mean? Think B2B. Imagine a combination of HTML and RDF. Think world-class. Think six-sigma. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Ruby on Rails. Think e-business. Our plug-and-play feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B C2C and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Free? What does the commonly-accepted term "24/7" really mean? We will envisioneer the ability of experiences to orchestrate. We will revalue our power to exploit without depreciating our ability to enhance. We usually facilitate clicks-and-mortar, mission-critical re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think revolutionary. Think wireless. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7/365. We will transform the term "C2C2B". Without well-planned e-markets, relationships are forced to become integrated. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! We think that most reconfigurable, reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Apache. the fish practically invented the term "content monitoring". The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ASP. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to upgrade elegantly. We will seize the jargon-based standard industry term "B2B". The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We think that most sticky portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean?