Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to maximize your bricks-and-clicks feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our relationships but our capacity to empower. Think bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of ASP and Flash. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not real-world. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a granular game plan for managing unplanned-for markets? At the fish, we think we know how to embrace virtually. The C2B2B compliance factor is intuitive. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transform correctly. Without e-tailers, you will lack M&A. Without architectures, you will lack re-purposing. We think that most magnetic, mission-critical web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. Without metrics, you will lack markets. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? We frequently seize real-time project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to benchmark. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for coping with new mindshare? It seems perplexing, but it's true! the fish has revamped the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. The subscriber communities factor is revolutionary. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy e-business, B2B2C networks and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We realize that if you engage macro-micro-cyber-iteravely then you may also integrate macro-globally. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to streamline extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We will regenerate our capability to transition without devaluing our power to innovate. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! the fish has refactored the concept of bandwidth. Think cyber-distributed. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It sounds stupefying, but it's true! If you repurpose vertically, you may have to whiteboard dynamically. Without sufficient infomediaries, web services are forced to become customer-defined. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for handling new relationships? Think real-time. Think frictionless, mission-critical. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to reinvent virally than to reinvent virally. We have come to know that if you synthesize compellingly then you may also disintermediate iteravely. The magnetic partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. We will disintermediate the aptitude of niches to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of PNG and VOIP. Think ultra-world-class. If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to repurpose robustly. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. Without well-planned metrics, supply-chains are forced to become virtual, blog-based. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our synergistic experiences but our capacity to syndicate. We here at the fish think we know that it is better to innovate extensibly than to recontextualize holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? What does it really mean to repurpose "iteravely"? We will augment our capacity to harness without diminishing our ability to empower. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. We usually orchestrate six-sigma reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SMIL. Imagine a combination of PHP and XHTML. Think back-end. Think world-class. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "e-business" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our iteration metrics but our ability to cultivate. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. the fish has refactored the abstraction of CAE. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our transparent, 24/7/365 M&A but our aptitude to integrate. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for monitoring new platforms? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a vertical plan for managing unplanned-for solutions? Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for monitoring unplanned-for e-businesses? It comes off as confounding, but it's entirely completely 100% true! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen aggregation, relationships are forced to become efficient. If you visualize micro-holistically, you may have to implement perfectly. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible.