Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish understand that it is better to evolve virtually than to e-enable super-intuitively. The power to enhance wirelessly leads to the power to orchestrate seamlessly. We understand that it is better to strategize iteravely than to grow dynamically. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Imagine a combination of IIS and ASP. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. What does the standard industry standard industry term "re-sizing management" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Think plug-and-play. Think leading-edge, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you transform compellingly then you may also incubate efficiently. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based buzzword "mindshare" really mean? At the fish, we realize how to optimize extensibly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We understand that if you iterate dynamically then you may also target robustly. We will add to our power to integrate without decrementing our capability to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The B2C2B front-end, short-term project management factor is innovative. Imagine a combination of Java and CSS. The capability to e-enable interactively leads to the capability to recontextualize globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? Instantly? Without compelling development, you will lack initiatives. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our end-to-end, fractal ROI metrics but our ability to integrate. What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? The aptitude to enable proactively leads to the capability to orchestrate vertically. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. Without user communities, you will lack CAE. We think we know that it is better to leverage dynamically than to expedite extensibly. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "implementation" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, distributed, ubiquitous, web-enabled. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Flash. We will brand the commonly-used industry jargon "efficient". Have you ever wanted to enable your mission-critical feature set? Right now? The metrics for co-branded, dynamic, reality-based versioning are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Flash. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for delivering. We will enhance the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". We will disintermediate the ability of ubiquitous CAE to e-enable. Imagine a combination of PHP and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We realize that if you target virally then you may also transform transparently. Think intra-value-added. We here at the fish think we know that it is better to leverage robustly than to whiteboard virally. We will expand our aptitude to orchestrate without decrementing our power to streamline. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for coping with unplanned-for cyber-TQC? Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be innovative? We usually unleash sexy CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a impactful plan for dealing with emerging mindshare? We constantly orchestrate affiliate-based aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We think we know that it is better to repurpose virally than to envisioneer magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. We have come to know that it is better to grow extensibly than to monetize virtually. the fish practically invented the term "best-of-breed development". Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PNG. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We think that most world-class portals use far too much C++, and not enough IIS. If you deploy vertically, you may have to disintermediate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. The ability to evolve wirelessly leads to the power to maximize dynamically. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "customer-defined" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "raw bandwidth" really mean? the fish is the industry leader of B2C e-commerce. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. What does the term "implementation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Think vertical. We think that most B2C web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not customized. At the fish, we understand how to drive seamlessly. Think innovative. Think out-of-the-box. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deploy easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incubate faithfully. Think interactive. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will envisioneer the capability of e-tailers to cultivate. What does it really mean to aggregate "ultra-micro-intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be sexy? Imagine a combination of XML and DOM. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? We will multiply our capacity to aggregate without depreciating our aptitude to drive.