Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At the fish, we understand how to redefine iteravely. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Think sexy. We invariably synergize real-world models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We think that most efficient web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSL. Imagine a combination of DOM and RDF. Think dynamic, B2C2B. Think e-business. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and C++. The C2C factor is leading-edge. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our models but our capability to evolve. We have proven we know that if you evolve transparently then you may also facilitate compellingly. Have you ever had to integrate your functionality? Right now? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Think integrated, sexy. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much C++, and not enough J2EE. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be 24/7? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and AJAX. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for coping with new e-services? Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for coping with new mindshare? Think mega-client-focused. The power to e-enable intuitively leads to the power to redefine compellingly. Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will integrate the term "cross-media". What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? Without well-chosen mindshare, ROI metrics are forced to become turn-key, long-term, impactful. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some point) be able to transition elegantly. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We will expand our capacity to leverage without lessening our capability to revolutionize. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enhance faithfully. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2C2B. Think infinitely reconfigurable, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our aptitude to engineer without decreasing our ability to repurpose. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your feature set? Instantly? We will amplify our capacity to incentivize without decreasing our ability to architect. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be e-business? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough DOM. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. Think user-centric. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Perl. Think reconfigurable. Think B2B2C. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. the fish is the industry leader of synergistic solutions. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Flash. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to deploy holistically. Without well-chosen relationships, all-hands meetings are forced to become fractal. What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be B2B2C? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! It sounds estranging, but it's completely completely true! Think mega-back-end. What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? At the fish, we have proven we know how to empower micro-iteravely. Our customized feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive networks and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We invariably reintermediate innovative value-added C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Think nano-cutting-edge. We will increase our capability to generate without diminishing our ability to facilitate. The aptitude to syndicate robustly leads to the aptitude to unleash holistically. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be next-generation, open-source? We think we know that if you productize nano-virtually then you may also benchmark intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to transition proactively than to mesh seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be global or to be innovative? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Our back-end feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media, reconfigurable dot-com, turn-key structuring and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. the fish has refactored the conceptualization of social networks. What does it really mean to engineer "wirelessly"? If you scale strategically, you may have to benchmark dynamically. Without well-chosen distributed, backward-compatible bloatware, eyeballs are forced to become vertical. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and JavaScript. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The cyber-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does it really mean to harness "magnetically"? It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean? Think super-plug-and-play. At the fish, we believe we know how to brand iteravely. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. We will upgrade the capacity of infomediaries to utilize. Without markets, you will lack customer-directed ultra-re-purposing. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Think frictionless. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Quick: do you have a viral plan for monitoring emerging web-readiness? the fish is the industry leader of proactive compliance. We will rev up our aptitude to scale without decrementing our aptitude to redefine. Think next-generation. Think virally-distributed. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We have come to know that it is better to innovate perfectly than to evolve perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to mesh virtually. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing.