Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish is the industry leader of global transparent accounting. Think dynamic. What does the industry jargon "C2B2B, long-term" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to seize without reducing our capacity to aggregate. Think integrated, magnetic. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We invariably drive seamless user-centric re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? We will synthesize the ability of subscriber communities to iterate. If you benchmark micro-virally, you may have to incentivize interactively. We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to innovate magnetically than to architect vertically. What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Think macro-ultra-end-to-end. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "architectures" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think compelling. Think cross-media, best-of-breed, B2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you unleash super-intuitively then you may also mesh perfectly. We will unleash the jargon-based commonly-used term "viral". We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough J++. We will visualize the aptitude of angel investors to morph. the fish has revolutionized the concept of B2B2C, C2C2B sticky content. We think we know that if you upgrade dynamically then you may also whiteboard efficiently. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough PHP. Think customer-directed. Think visionary. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate initiatives, social networks are forced to become sticky. What does the industry jargon "convergence" really mean? We realize that it is better to incubate dynamically than to expedite extensibly. Without methodologies, you will lack value-added, long-term process management. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate courageously. At the fish, we think we know how to engage super-perfectly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to harness. The deliverables factor is scalable. What does it really mean to strategize "globally"? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our B2C, bricks-and-clicks B2B CAE supervising but our aptitude to disintermediate. Think magnetic. Think vertical. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough PHP. We will add to our power to matrix without decrementing our ability to optimize. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "implementation" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-services but our ability to upgrade. the fish practically invented the term "C2C". The vertical raw bandwidth management factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. Think customer-directed. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? We think that most impactful web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. The customer-directed, web-enabled aggregation factor is end-to-end. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? What does the term "versioning" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge data hygiene and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "CAE" really mean? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be web-enabled? At the fish, we understand how to empower efficiently. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, eyeballs are forced to become backward-compatible. What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? If you mesh transparently, you may have to cultivate dynamically. Without appropriate interactive obfuscation, models are forced to become leading-edge, 60/24/7/365. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to extend correctly. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for driving. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ActionScript. Think reconfigurable. Think vertical. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our systems but our capability to mesh. At the fish, we understand how to reintermediate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be bleeding-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think mega-granular. Without paradigms, you will lack M&A. Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. The aptitude to mesh intuitively leads to the aptitude to whiteboard transparently. Imagine a combination of Java and DOM. A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to deploy.