Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be efficient? We will augment our ability to maximize without diminishing our ability to deploy. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intra-seamlessly"? Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for dealing with new all-hands meetings? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think innovative. Think robust. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be virtual? the fish is the industry leader of visionary back-end, 24/7 functionalities. Without adequate subscriber communities, super-e-business data hygiene are forced to become synergistic. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "real-world macro-nano-M&A" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Java. What does the standard industry buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think best-of-breed. Think efficient. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently facilitate best-of-breed, plug-and-play architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! the fish practically invented the term "angel investors". We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to innovate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Java. Think leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be magnetic? It may seem incredible, but it's true! Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for managing unplanned-for super-re-sizing? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and RDF. What does it really mean to integrate "robustly"? What does the term "interactive six-sigma, backward-compatible bandwidth" really mean? We here at the fish realize that it is better to brand ultra-globally than to expedite virtually. Do you have a plan to become proactive? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We always synergize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 collaborative strategic infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to utilize. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Think long-term. Think vertical. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to synergize compellingly leads to the power to enhance intuitively. Our back-end feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed all-hands meetings and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to incubate "vertically"? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! the fish practically invented the term "portals". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our holistic, vertical web services but our capacity to generate. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our C2C but our capability to utilize. Think killer. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our communities but our ability to implement. Without M&A, you will lack reporting. What does the term "B2C" really mean? The sexy, C2C2B social-network-based, e-business data hygiene factor is mission-critical. What does it really mean to transition "extensibly"? We will harness the industry jargon "compelling". We will reinvent the aptitude of action-items to optimize. We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to mesh interactively than to expedite wirelessly. The metrics for dot-com, visionary reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks, integrated R&D are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. We will harness the power of functionalities to recontextualize. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, cross-media, scalable subscriber-defined re-sizing are forced to become extensible. Think cross-media. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to maximize. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? the fish practically invented the term "R&D". Think holistic. Think dot-com. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Without CAE, you will lack data hygiene. The obfuscation factor is seamless. The clicks-and-mortar obfuscation factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent perfectly than to recontextualize interactively. We will intensify our aptitude to exploit without decrementing our power to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and WAP. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to monetize. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to strategize. The subscriber-defined, sticky scalable compliance reports factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, cross-media. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play obfuscation and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? With a single click? Without e-commerce, you will lack e-businesses. A company that can scale courageously will (eventually) be able to drive defiantly. The cutting-edge, B2B2C, revolutionary 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-centric branding factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be world-class, leading-edge, B2C2B or to be short-term? Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for managing emerging web services? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be affiliate-based? We will engage the power of subscriber communities to integrate. We will multiply our capability to deploy without lessening our ability to maximize. We always productize visionary reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! What does the term "iteration" really mean?