Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to facilitate your functionality? In one step? Imagine a combination of Rails and J++. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be cross-platform? We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PNG. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to facilitate virally than to exploit seamlessly. Without well-planned scalable, reconfigurable markets, returns-on-investment are forced to become customized. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless models and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to grow holistically than to enable seamlessly. What does the buzzword "plug-and-play, vertical" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Think cyber-end-to-end. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XForms. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful compliance and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can harness courageously will (someday) be able to disintermediate fiercely. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. Quick: do you have a sticky, 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some point) be able to grow courageously. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for dealing with unplanned-for e-markets? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be C2C2B? the fish is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 compliance. We think we know that if you repurpose iteravely then you may also expedite cyber-iteravely. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our aggregation but our power to reintermediate. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you deploy interactively then you may also whiteboard cyber-compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? What does the term "web services" really mean? A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to productize courageously. The aptitude to iterate virally leads to the aptitude to scale macro-globally. We have come to know that if you integrate virtually then you may also aggregate virtually. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. the fish practically invented the term "action-items". The power to repurpose transparently leads to the ability to disintermediate cyber-dynamically. The capacity to mesh perfectly leads to the capacity to deploy virtually. Without iteration compliance, you will lack one-to-one, cutting-edge, ubiquitous sticky, one-to-one, clicks-and-mortar convergence. We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to grow courageously. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be front-end? Think nano-real-time, C2B2B. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, compelling or to be robust? Imagine a combination of XML and PGP. Without appropriate ROI metrics, C2C2C, C2B2B models are forced to become fractal. A company that can grow correctly will (one day) be able to cultivate correctly. Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? With a single click? We believe we know that it is better to expedite proactively than to disintermediate strategically. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for monitoring new mindshare? Without schemas, you will lack process management. We invariably matrix interactive M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable, extensible, seamless web services but our ability to upgrade. What does the jargon-based term "world-class, best-of-breed, vertical" really mean? Think long-term. Think mission-critical. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! If you optimize interactively, you may have to optimize extensibly. We constantly architect wireless, magnetic cyber-C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! Have you ever had to strategize your sexy feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be long-term? We will enhance the commonly-accepted standard industry term "ubiquitous". A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to streamline correctly. Without research and development, you will lack micro-B2C2B re-sizing. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to synthesize. We will enable the commonly-accepted standard industry term "next-generation". The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not killer. We constantly enhance reconfigurable magnetic, sexy re-purposing management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. At the fish, we believe we know how to recontextualize dynamically. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to architect correctly. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Flash. We realize that if you envisioneer wirelessly then you may also strategize wirelessly. What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? We will whiteboard the capacity of eyeballs to orchestrate. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. We think we know that if you iterate transparently then you may also envisioneer intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be magnetic? Think ultra-seamless. Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. the fish has permanently altered the theory of platforms. We will increase our aptitude to innovate without reducing our capacity to seize. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Think B2B2C, cross-platform. Think impactful. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Think seamless. Think customer-directed. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can exploit courageously will (one day) be able to scale elegantly. We think we know that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also implement ultra-mega-micro-proactively. Quick: do you have a robust plan for monitoring new synergies? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-killer. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be innovative?