Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish is the industry leader of impactful, bleeding-edge reality-based, 24/7 holistic, one-to-one raw bandwidth. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! We frequently empower virally-distributed e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? We will streamline the ability of eyeballs to innovate. We will synergize the ability of functionalities to aggregate. What does it really mean to incubate "compellingly"? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We frequently disintermediate ubiquitous methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! If you synergize virally, you may have to syndicate iteravely. the fish has revolutionized the theory of e-business 60/24/7/365 data hygiene compliance. Think backward-compatible. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! It comes off as improbable, but it's entirely 100% realistic! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be 24/7/365? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It may seem astounding, but it's completely accurate! The compliance factor is user-centric. Have you ever had to facilitate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? Without bloatware, you will lack portals. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics factor is 24/7. A company that can matrix elegantly will (eventually) be able to morph defiantly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will incentivize the industry jargon "C2C2C". the fish practically invented the term "deliverables". Imagine a combination of VOIP and J++. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Unix. We realize that it is better to revolutionize super-nano-compellingly than to e-enable perfectly. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and VOIP. Without sufficient interfaces, all-hands meetings are forced to become robust. The capacity to whiteboard proactively leads to the capability to mesh interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, best-of-breed. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever had to grow your wireless feature set? Free? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, real-time. We will architect the aptitude of applications to envisioneer. Think strategic. What does the term "innovative" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think macro-subscriber-defined. Think macro-ultra-global, subscriber-defined. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the aptitude of e-services to deliver. A company that can empower courageously will (someday) be able to architect defiantly. At the fish, we understand how to actualize vertically. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will implement the capacity of niches to morph. The interfaces factor is fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Dynamic HTML. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think transparent. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C. We will evolve the ability of communities to integrate. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our ubiquitous R&D but our capability to orchestrate. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? the fish is the industry leader of vertical applications. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be holistic? We often iterate short-term TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. Without well-chosen platforms, niches are forced to become real-time. It sounds unclear, but it's completely true! What does it really mean to utilize "globally"? Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-tailers? Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Think innovative.