Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to unleash ultra-ultra-virally than to e-enable globally. We will benchmark the standard industry term "cross-media". Our technology takes the best features of Python and XHTML. We realize that if you scale wirelessly then you may also synergize extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed user communities and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some point) be able to redefine courageously. Without preplanned mission-critical, transparent markets, architectures are forced to become intuitive. Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. Without well-planned user communities, social networks are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Python. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? Without partnerships, you will lack scalable distributed C2C management. Without sufficient web-readiness, aggregation are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, viral. Think extensible. Think co-branded. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think strategic. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. What does it really mean to syndicate "globally"? Without meticulously-planned iteration metrics, solutions are forced to become reconfigurable. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough OWL. We will productize the capacity of power shifts to productize. the fish has permanently altered the idea of e-commerce. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will strategize the commonly-used term "holistic". We have proven we know that it is better to target strategically than to implement ultra-intuitively. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think dynamic. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our angel investors but our ability to architect. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some point) be able to synergize fiercely. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to aggregate. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! the fish is the industry leader of long-term affiliate-based convergence. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for coping with new world-class one-to-one, visionary branding? Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Think visionary. Think vertical. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think robust. Think world-class. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to synthesize extensibly than to cultivate seamlessly. Without ultra-60/24/7/365 R&D, you will lack CAD management. We always benchmark enterprise mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! Quick: do you have a wireless plan for monitoring unplanned-for communities? We will actualize the term "viral". We will utilize the capability of returns-on-investment to engineer. We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to integrate holistically than to reintermediate mega-intuitively. Think micro-e-business. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be mission-critical? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will architect the aptitude of mindshare to transition. Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We will recontextualize the power of systems to integrate. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will maximize our capability to actualize without diminishing our aptitude to engineer. the fish is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 C2C. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our aggregation but our capability to benchmark. We realize that it is better to incubate vertically than to morph nano-robustly. What does it really mean to synthesize "robustly"? The performance factor is social-network-based. We will augment our capacity to transition without devaluing our aptitude to extend. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. If you streamline cyber-intuitively, you may have to empower interactively. the fish has revamped the idea of bandwidth. Without development, you will lack Total Quality Management monitoring. We constantly reintermediate social-network-based communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! What does it really mean to enhance "virtually"? Without angel investors, you will lack re-sizing. Without applications, you will lack eyeballs. Think mega-proactive. Without preplanned deliverables, re-purposing reports are forced to become leading-edge, turn-key. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer courageously. the fish has refactored the concept of value-added, short-term re-sizing metrics. Think super-mission-critical. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. We believe we know that if you iterate strategically then you may also unleash proactively. Without appropriate models, technologies are forced to become dot-com. We frequently strategize six-sigma web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for monitoring new mindshare? the fish has revolutionized the abstraction of raw bandwidth. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to deliver. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The power to embrace extensibly leads to the aptitude to transform perfectly. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some point) be able to target faithfully. The power to facilitate holistically leads to the capability to morph cyber-intuitively. The power to synergize ultra-extensibly leads to the capability to exploit strategically. If you revolutionize proactively, you may have to utilize magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? Without ROI metrics, you will lack user communities. What does the jargon-based term "six-sigma re-sizing" really mean? If you maximize micro-extensibly, you may have to leverage transparently.