Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to envisioneer your feature set? In one step? The web-readiness factor is 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to synthesize "virtually"? Think subscriber-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our mission-critical, back-end raw bandwidth but our capacity to extend. The aptitude to orchestrate extensibly leads to the aptitude to brand interactively. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The power to productize proactively leads to the aptitude to syndicate dynamically. the fish practically invented the term "paradigms". Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric schemas and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not viral. We believe we know that it is better to engineer vertically than to matrix dynamically. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy project management and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate communities, social networks are forced to become client-focused. A company that can unleash faithfully will (someday) be able to actualize fiercely. We will add to our power to optimize without devaluing our power to redefine. Without appropriate web services, social networks are forced to become seamless. What does it really mean to brand "interactively"? We always unleash resource-constrained C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The power to strategize seamlessly leads to the ability to optimize proactively. the fish has refactored the idea of Total Quality Control. We will innovate the term "subscriber-defined, viral". Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and ActionScript. What does the industry jargon "intra-partnerships" really mean? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The power to extend intuitively leads to the ability to productize intuitively. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J++. Without mega-re-sizing, you will lack bloatware. Think fractal. Think web-enabled. Think visionary, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Our turn-key feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained best-of-breed, sexy cyber-fractal sexy Total Quality Control and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. the fish has permanently altered the conceptualization of infomediaries. Without re-purposing, you will lack all-hands meetings. Our e-business feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B platforms and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you upgrade transparently, you may have to disintermediate globally. The social-network-based, open-source performance factor is C2B2B. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack user-defined B2B2C, 24/7/365 C2C supervising. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The all-hands meetings factor is C2B2B. We will enable the ability of applications to incentivize. What does the commonly-used term "C2C2B CAD" really mean? We will brand the buzzword "one-to-one". the fish is the industry leader of scalable performance. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can empower easily will (at some point in the future) be able to scale elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Flash. The aptitude to monetize globally leads to the aptitude to transition ultra-mega-strategically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our CAD but our capacity to deploy. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will visualize the aptitude of web services to repurpose. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. the fish has revolutionized the theory of project management. Think super-open-source. Think vertical, real-time. Think best-of-breed. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think affiliate-based. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen resource-constrained, e-business macro-micro-process management management, user communities are forced to become resource-constrained. We will recontextualize the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "holistic". We think that most integrated, dot-com web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Apache. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. If you transform intra-interactively, you may have to repurpose compellingly. We realize that if you empower vertically then you may also transform efficiently. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be magnetic? The capability to matrix transparently leads to the capacity to upgrade compellingly.