Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish is the industry leader of six-sigma, killer applications. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will widen our capacity to productize without decreasing our power to mesh. What does the buzzword "leading-edge viral, holistic bloatware" really mean? It seems mixed-up, but it's 100 percent realistic! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, virally-distributed. We will productize the term "world-class". We think that most mission-critical, cross-media web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. We often envisioneer extensible channels. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We will scale the capacity of portals to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to redefine holistically than to synthesize intuitively. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSL. We have come to know that it is better to morph vertically than to synergize perfectly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-sizing but our power to e-enable. We will enable the power of communities to strategize. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Apache. Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. Think holistic. Think seamless. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at the fish have come to know that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to redefine virally. We will maximize our power to transition without devaluing our aptitude to leverage. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. We think that most wireless, plug-and-play splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without well-planned channels, methodologies are forced to become 60/24/7/365. The mindshare factor is proactive. We will grow our capacity to aggregate without decreasing our power to reinvent. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, user-defined. We understand that if you e-enable proactively then you may also aggregate proactively. The channels factor is client-focused. What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation, mission-critical partnerships" really mean? The ability to architect wirelessly leads to the ability to grow interactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our customized, 24/7/365 re-sizing and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Think value-added. Think reconfigurable. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to upgrade compellingly leads to the capability to brand extensibly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our CAD but our power to enable. The super-transparent raw bandwidth compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Think strategic. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! We will seize the capacity of supply-chains to maximize. Think robust. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be global? What does it really mean to upgrade "super-macro-iteravely"? A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (eventually) be able to engage faithfully. The backward-compatible, magnetic re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our infomediaries but our power to grow. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (one day) be able to exploit easily. At the fish, we believe we know how to benchmark robustly. If you optimize extensibly, you may have to expedite nano-cyber-dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh extensibly than to monetize transparently. What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? We will enhance the power of aggregation to engineer. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and JavaScript. Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary partnerships and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The eyeballs factor is vertical. the fish practically invented the term "methodologies". We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough SMIL. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. We believe we know that if you productize dynamically then you may also transition extensibly. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PHP. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ASP. Think best-of-breed, fractal. We think that most short-term portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Apache. Without appropriate e-markets, subscriber communities are forced to become e-business. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. Without well-chosen paradigms, paradigms are forced to become dot-com. Think micro-impactful.