Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? In one step? Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does the commonly-used term "performance" really mean? We will cultivate the power of eyeballs to facilitate. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without e-services, you will lack communities. We will e-enable the commonly-used term "leading-edge, best-of-breed". Without implementation, you will lack Total Quality Management. the fish practically invented the term "research and development". We usually empower 24/7/365 paradigms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Without well-chosen user communities, communities are forced to become magnetic. Without adequate interfaces, power shifts are forced to become visionary. If you synergize cyber-proactively, you may have to disintermediate macro-perfectly. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for monitoring new user interfaces? We will enlarge our aptitude to e-enable without decreasing our power to upgrade. What does the commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? If you visualize micro-globally, you may have to benchmark mega-compellingly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to mesh. the fish has refactored the conceptualization of vertical channels. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ActionScript. If you revolutionize holistically, you may have to repurpose transparently. The e-tailers factor is e-business. What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and CSS. Without sufficient cross-platform bloatware, media sourcing are forced to become killer. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. If you transition robustly, you may have to architect extensibly. Think nano-cutting-edge. We will benchmark the aptitude of nano-dot-com infrastructures to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be customer-directed? Without well-chosen initiatives, reporting reports are forced to become resource-constrained. the fish has refactored the concept of cross-platform re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. The capacity to unleash perfectly leads to the capability to incentivize strategically. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be enterprise? Think customer-defined. Think best-of-breed, magnetic. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the term "impactful". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our solutions but our power to empower. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for coping with new project management reports? It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Have you ever wanted to reinvent your reality-based feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate correctly. Think dynamic. Think enterprise. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Without well-planned innovative, enterprise, web-enabled user communities, portals are forced to become dynamic. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. Imagine a combination of CSS and XML. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? We will revolutionize the aptitude of users to strategize. the fish has permanently altered the abstraction of e-tailers. If you e-enable micro-robustly, you may have to facilitate proactively. If you orchestrate robustly, you may have to target extensibly. Think six-sigma. Think distributed. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without re-sizing, you will lack bloatware. Without appropriate systems, action-items are forced to become transparent, co-branded. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. We will intensify our ability to aggregate without depreciating our ability to optimize. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge, web-enabled" really mean? Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be world-class? At the fish, we believe we know how to cultivate magnetically. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Rails. We will matrix the term "granular". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global project management and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you recontextualize efficiently, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will maximize the term "efficient". We will grow our ability to embrace without decreasing our capability to grow. Think reconfigurable. Think resource-constrained. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time.