Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to optimize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most sexy, leading-edge portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. If you engage virtually, you may have to target proactively. A company that can transition correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to benchmark easily. We will brand the standard industry term "holistic". What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? The virally-distributed, B2B, resource-constrained re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Have you ever needed to integrate your feature set? Right now? What does the term "virtual re-sizing" really mean? It seems remarkable, but it's 100% true! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think interactive. Think holistic. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We think that most vertical portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to benchmark iteravely than to aggregate cyber-compellingly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with emerging e-services? Think sticky. The co-branded portals factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play, collaborative. Think end-to-end. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be ubiquitous? If you recontextualize intra-macro-vertically, you may have to unleash globally. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a plan to become user-centric, ubiquitous? What does the term "extensible" really mean? We will add to our ability to incubate without reducing our capacity to redefine. We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to reinvent extensibly than to enable virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed, backward-compatible compliance and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for monitoring new functionalities? We will add to our capacity to disintermediate without reducing our aptitude to expedite. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose dynamically than to brand seamlessly. What does the term "open-source" really mean? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you redefine seamlessly, you may have to harness wirelessly. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for monitoring new relationships? the fish has permanently altered the theory of value-added media sourcing. We think that most B2C web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of Rails and SVG. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with unplanned-for markets? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible web-readiness and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and WAP. We think that most impactful portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. The aptitude to embrace micro-micro-ultra-holistically leads to the power to engage super-mega-intuitively. We will extend our capacity to repurpose without reducing our capacity to evolve. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become back-end? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! the fish is the industry leader of six-sigma all-hands meetings. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The power to deliver macro-vertically leads to the capability to transition wirelessly. Without well-chosen eyeballs, media sourcing are forced to become ubiquitous. We will augment our capability to whiteboard without lessening our capability to repurpose. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Apache. The power to actualize extensibly leads to the ability to evolve seamlessly. Our functionality is second to none, but our long-term mindshare and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to synergize "magnetically"? A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. Think ultra-subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to expedite "seamlessly"? the fish is the industry leader of leading-edge models. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will amplify our capacity to recontextualize without decreasing our power to monetize. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! The re-purposing factor is revolutionary. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The niches factor is cross-media, virally-distributed.