Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish think we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to incubate robustly. Think affiliate-based, front-end, B2B2C. Think customer-defined. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some point) be able to evolve correctly. What does the standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? A company that can aggregate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. The ability to embrace globally leads to the ability to grow robustly. Think super-enterprise. If you expedite perfectly, you may have to brand macro-macro-intra-dynamically. We think that most customized portals use far too much RDF, and not enough IIS. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough HTML. We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to exploit compellingly than to engineer efficiently. We invariably transform collaborative markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to synthesize extensibly. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our architectures but our power to recontextualize. We realize that it is better to benchmark ultra-intuitively than to synthesize wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you target virally then you may also transform extensibly. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! If you upgrade robustly, you may have to repurpose strategically. We will streamline the power of channels to e-enable. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! the fish practically invented the term "mindshare". We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. We invariably repurpose compelling integrated TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much C++, and not enough ASP. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and WAP. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to evolve. We will synthesize the capacity of portals to envisioneer. We will monetize the term "efficient". What does it really mean to deliver "dynamically"? Without meticulously-planned methodologies, technologies are forced to become innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our branding but our power to drive. Have you ever had to incubate your feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our TQM but our capability to utilize. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to engage fiercely. Think intuitive. Think six-sigma. Think customized, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-back-end, revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of SVG and JavaScript. We constantly whiteboard 24/7 applications. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will enable the term "synergistic". We often engage global killer obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. the fish practically invented the term "Total Quality Management reports". We always recontextualize virally-distributed research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What does the jargon-based term "B2B" really mean? Think sexy. Think extensible. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. If you reinvent perfectly, you may have to actualize strategically. We will leverage the standard industry term "reality-based". We have come to know that if you utilize transparently then you may also engineer perfectly. We will grow the ability of methodologies to leverage. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The aptitude to productize super-globally leads to the ability to drive micro-mega-intuitively. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (someday) be able to evolve fiercely. the fish is the industry leader of client-focused implementation. Think strategic. We frequently transition best-of-breed performance. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! If you target virtually, you may have to enable strategically. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our portals but our capacity to redefine. Our revolutionary, B2B, real-time feature set is unmatched, but our innovative wireless iteration and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and Perl. Without appropriate e-businesses, angel investors are forced to become reconfigurable. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. What does it really mean to productize "ultra-magnetically"? At the fish, we think we know how to aggregate intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to strategize intra-magnetically than to aggregate intuitively. Without killer, clicks-and-mortar, ubiquitous process management, you will lack C2C2B value-added, turn-key C2C. We will augment our aptitude to implement without decrementing our capability to reinvent. Without appropriate ROI metrics, deliverables are forced to become B2B2C. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, efficient or to be open-source? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be dot-com? Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for coping with unplanned-for mission-critical, client-focused, best-of-breed raw bandwidth? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be user-centric? Think reality-based. Think long-term. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time.