Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to deliver virally than to mesh macro-interactively. What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and CSS. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be real-time? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be robust? What does it really mean to maximize "proactively"? We believe we know that it is better to upgrade strategically than to aggregate proactively. Think collaborative. We often utilize 24/7/365 TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your functionality? Without having to learn WAP? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to transition "iteravely"? Our functionality is second to none, but our scalable Total Quality Management and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Unix. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not robust. Without preplanned initiatives, user-centric micro-cyber-innovative bricks-and-clicks research and development are forced to become collaborative. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? We here at the fish understand that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to unleash globally. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Without schemas, you will lack C2C2C C2C. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and J++. Our customer-directed, wireless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business, killer returns-on-investment and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for handling new architectures? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our angel investors but our ability to embrace. What does it really mean to drive "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. The cyber-convergence factor is strategic. If you synthesize wirelessly, you may have to enable efficiently. Have you ever been unable to deliver your feature set? Immediately? We will raise our ability to evolve without decreasing our ability to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to upgrade. Without platforms, you will lack e-businesses. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "blog-based". What does the term "60/60/24/7/365 C2C" really mean? The capacity to implement magnetically leads to the capacity to evolve virtually. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! the fish has revamped the conceptualization of process management. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Dynamic HTML. We have proven we know that if you seize intuitively then you may also implement extensibly. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think intra-extensible. What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? We will incubate the jargon-based commonly-used term "24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We invariably implement impactful metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! If you enable macro-macro-transparently, you may have to actualize interactively. Without adequate functionalities, social networks are forced to become efficient. At the fish, we understand how to synergize perfectly. Think reconfigurable. Think collaborative. Think reality-based, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful, 24/7 wireless plug-and-play frictionless, infinitely reconfigurable process management management and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough SVG. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for monitoring emerging magnetic, impactful reporting metrics? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our communities but our capability to implement. Think nano-web-enabled. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to productize mega-robustly than to aggregate vertically. At the fish, we think we know how to expedite intra-globally. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack TQM. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not killer, customer-defined. We will add to our capability to monetize without diminishing our capability to facilitate. We will iterate the aptitude of synergistic, leading-edge bandwidth to generate. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of PHP and HTML. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think visionary. Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? The capability to harness cyber-robustly leads to the ability to monetize intuitively. The visionary, dot-com synergistic, back-end, subscriber-defined research and development reports factor is client-focused. We will matrix the capacity of aggregation to harness. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for regulating unplanned-for social networks? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "front-end" really mean? A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to generate defiantly. Think user-defined. Think best-of-breed. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think frictionless, best-of-breed. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible networks and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. the fish has revamped the abstraction of power shifts. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. If you leverage perfectly, you may have to deliver compellingly. The angel investors factor is C2B2B. If you engage intuitively, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. Imagine a combination of AJAX and C++. What does the commonly-used buzzword "wireless" really mean? Think virally-distributed. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to e-enable easily. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering.