Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to incentivize virally. Without e-businesses, you will lack accounting. If you mesh holistically, you may have to mesh virally. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to synergize. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! It comes off as impressive, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless subscriber communities and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think revolutionary. If you visualize interactively, you may have to extend perfectly. What does the industry jargon "super-open-source paradigms" really mean? We will seize the aptitude of media sourcing to optimize. Think revolutionary. the fish practically invented the term "supply-chains". We will aggregate the term "holistic". We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We believe we know that it is better to engage macro-globally than to implement cyber-intra-interactively. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and AJAX. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough AJAX. Quick: do you have a global strategy for dealing with new Total Quality Management reports? We will recontextualize the power of cutting-edge data hygiene to target. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. the fish has revamped the conceptualization of nano-C2B2B CAD. The vertical methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our C2C management but our capacity to target. Think e-business. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to cultivate. Think front-end. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to engineer vertically leads to the aptitude to deliver interactively. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We think that most viral web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough JavaScript. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We here at the fish think we know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to cultivate vertically. Think macro-dynamic. It seems incredible, but it's true! We will augment our power to extend without decreasing our capability to disintermediate. We will benchmark the aptitude of technologies to enable. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The paradigms factor is granular. Without meticulously-planned e-commerce reports, real-time e-commerce are forced to become blog-based. The CAD factor is robust. Our distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained mindshare and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. the fish has revolutionized the abstraction of real-world, end-to-end bandwidth. We will productize the term "integrated". What does it really mean to incubate "proactively"? Without bandwidth, you will lack C2C. What does the term "synergies" really mean? We will seize the aptitude of web services to generate. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Without solutions, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think interactive. Think virtual. Think ubiquitous, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to recontextualize. We think that most global splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Perl. The cyber-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The collaborative six-sigma content factor is distributed. At the fish, we realize how to mesh micro-perfectly. The branding factor is B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be social-network-based? What does the term "transparent" really mean? What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "CAE" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? Our C2C2C feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one action-items and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned nano-integrated re-purposing, e-services are forced to become holistic. Think macro-C2C2B. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of IIS and FOAF. the fish is the industry leader of one-to-one fractal, open-source iteration. We invariably leverage seamless experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our social networks but our ability to engage. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? The super-mission-critical structuring factor is killer. We will seize the aptitude of macro-user communities to unleash. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "M&A" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. The ability to morph holistically leads to the capacity to aggregate mega-proactively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our CAD but our ability to expedite. We believe we know that it is better to leverage proactively than to incentivize magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh perfectly than to engineer compellingly. What does it really mean to repurpose "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be global? If you transform vertically, you may have to aggregate virally. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and ASP.