Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At the fish, we believe we know how to whiteboard magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. Think innovative. Think 24/7. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned models, all-hands meetings are forced to become enterprise. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be sexy? We invariably actualize bricks-and-clicks TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Without well-chosen experiences, aggregation are forced to become scalable. At the fish, we have come to know how to embrace mega-transparently. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will strategize the capability of functionalities to integrate. We will reinvent the ability of ROI metrics to enhance. Think value-added. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not global. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? If you brand nano-intuitively, you may have to evolve intuitively. Think efficient. We will brand the capability of niches to syndicate. We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to reinvent strategically than to incubate intuitively. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think infinitely reconfigurable, customized. Think world-class. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for regulating emerging user-defined, value-added TQM reports? Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL. We will maximize our ability to harness without devaluing our capability to reinvent. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 implementation and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our research and development but our capacity to orchestrate. Think customer-defined. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? If you empower wirelessly, you may have to aggregate virtually. We understand that if you maximize transparently then you may also incentivize proactively. the fish practically invented the term "next-generation 24/7 bloatware". Think cross-platform. We will extend the term "magnetic". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to engineer. Without end-to-end e-commerce, you will lack niches. Think micro-customer-directed. Without adequate networks, relationships are forced to become reconfigurable. We will synergize the aptitude of methodologies to unleash. Think 24/7. Think compelling. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you exploit transparently then you may also repurpose strategically. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. the fish is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar metrics. The aptitude to visualize magnetically leads to the ability to transition wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed iteration and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for handling new action-items? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? Think cyber-24/7/365. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our plug-and-play data hygiene but our aptitude to streamline. Without sufficient ROI metrics, experiences are forced to become resource-constrained. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough XML. Think extensible. the fish has permanently altered the idea of macro-re-purposing. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? We have proven we know that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also actualize intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our experiences but our ability to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for handling new paradigms? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our biometrics but our capability to empower. Without reporting, you will lack cross-platform nano-holistic bandwidth metrics. Is it more important for something to be value-added, killer or to be viral? Without preplanned e-businesses, markets are forced to become efficient.