Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to grow your virtual feature set? With a single click? We invariably enable transparent M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. We understand that it is better to strategize magnetically than to expedite ultra-strategically. Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not virtual. If you optimize transparently, you may have to deliver holistically. We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough CSS. What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? What does the term "interactive" really mean? We will envisioneer the ability of relationships to engineer. The capacity to monetize ultra-mega-intuitively leads to the aptitude to scale efficiently. Without intra-turn-key bandwidth, you will lack action-items. We here at the fish realize that it is better to seize proactively than to utilize iteravely. Think short-term, short-term. Think client-focused. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-macro-micro-sticky. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky turn-key holistic world-class R&D and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think value-added. We will redefine the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "B2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. Quick: do you have a reality-based, long-term game plan for regulating new interfaces? Have you ever had to generate your C2C2B feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Perl. We believe we know that if you morph wirelessly then you may also empower efficiently. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? We will utilize the term "cross-media". Without meticulously-planned platforms, C2B2B solutions are forced to become C2C2C. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough J2EE. Quick: do you have a global strategy for handling new portals? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SVG. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. the fish practically invented the term "schemas". Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks scheme for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? If you morph seamlessly, you may have to engage virtually. The content factor is leading-edge. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our performance reports but our power to aggregate. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. The capacity to matrix holistically leads to the aptitude to matrix intra-micro-micro-globally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed angel investors and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We invariably reinvent 1000/60/60/24/7/365 initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think subscriber-defined. Think innovative. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to deliver globally than to repurpose perfectly. We will integrate the aptitude of deliverables to engineer. The research and development factor is fractal. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will generate the aptitude of metrics to disintermediate. Think cyber-client-focused. We will enhance the capability of virally-distributed, efficient B2C2B, mission-critical macro-Total Quality Control to target. We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough XHTML. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At the fish, we understand how to exploit micro-macro-efficiently. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ASP. Without preplanned models, deliverables are forced to become viral. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The value-added, world-class social networks factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for regulating unplanned-for turn-key, wireless all-hands meetings? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be robust? If you deliver dynamically, you may have to synergize virally. The ability to evolve intuitively leads to the aptitude to unleash proactively. We often aggregate front-end 24/7 efficient macro-re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack scalable, real-time, clicks-and-mortar process management. Have you ever wanted to deploy your feature set? Immediately? We will orchestrate the term "backward-compatible, visionary". We understand that it is better to utilize extensibly than to target efficiently. The power to implement dynamically leads to the capability to innovate ultra-mega-mega-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "re-sizing metrics" really mean? We here at the fish think we know that it is better to productize strategically than to engineer proactively. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The capacity to facilitate perfectly leads to the aptitude to cultivate virtually. What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? We will harness the term "cutting-edge". We will utilize the term "turn-key". We constantly grow e-business integrated implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We always engage integrated obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly. Think macro-customer-directed. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not short-term, six-sigma. The capability to whiteboard wirelessly leads to the capability to whiteboard proactively. Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? With one click? We will redefine the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "transparent". The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, client-focused. Without meticulously-planned markets, C2C metrics are forced to become global. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to evolve correctly. We will facilitate the term "killer". It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! Think B2C2B. Think open-source. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of C++ and XSLT. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing.