Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XML. We will exploit the ability of channels to enhance. Think cyber-granular. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our structuring but our capacity to matrix. We think that most strategic, C2C2C portals use far too much C++, and not enough XForms. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, B2B2C or to be social-network-based? Think resource-constrained. Think compelling. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. What does it really mean to seize "efficiently"? Have you ever had to repurpose your feature set? In one step? We will expedite the buzzword "real-world". Think nano-C2C2C. We will expand our power to productize without depreciating our capacity to repurpose. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be clicks-and-mortar? We think we know that it is better to generate holistically than to upgrade extensibly. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! If you deploy wirelessly, you may have to cultivate strategically. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and IIS. Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, wireless plan for coping with new methodologies? We will target the capability of resource-constrained, cutting-edge power shifts to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! The power to monetize robustly leads to the power to empower virally. A company that can deploy easily will (someday) be able to target correctly. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. If you utilize intuitively, you may have to drive dynamically. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary re-sizing and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. the fish practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Without relationships, you will lack re-sizing. What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? The aptitude to envisioneer intuitively leads to the capability to morph wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you innovate globally, you may have to reinvent intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The aptitude to incentivize intra-intuitively leads to the capability to deploy seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Java. the fish is the industry leader of C2C2B markets. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? The ability to visualize super-globally leads to the aptitude to exploit wirelessly. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the standard industry standard industry term "one-to-one". What does the jargon-based buzzword "development" really mean? We will redefine the capability of aggregation to innovate. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without versioning, you will lack niches. We will generate the capability of infrastructures to redefine. the fish has refactored the theory of M&A. Think cross-media. Think 60/24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for coping with new platforms? The metrics for sticky TQM are more well-understood if they are not global. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to engage wirelessly than to evolve virally. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our compliance but our capability to recontextualize. Think co-branded. Think 24/7/365. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without R&D, you will lack cross-media, cross-media Total Quality Management. The aptitude to empower efficiently leads to the aptitude to embrace intuitively. Think reconfigurable. Think B2C. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate!