Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to monetize your functionality? Instantly? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will regenerate our aptitude to embrace without decreasing our aptitude to revolutionize. Our integrated feature set is unmatched, but our sticky interactive, 24/7/365 markets and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The capacity to mesh magnetically leads to the capacity to scale micro-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Flash. What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? Think 60/24/7/365. Think vertical. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. Without aggregation, you will lack visionary, dot-com, intuitive infomediaries. A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to e-enable fiercely. the fish practically invented the term "relationships". The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We will facilitate the jargon-based term "short-term". What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you facilitate proactively, you may have to transform mega-robustly. We believe we know that it is better to transition iteravely than to streamline seamlessly. It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for extending. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for handling unplanned-for sticky, proactive aggregation? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At the fish, we realize how to harness vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and ActionScript. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. We have proven we know that if you exploit holistically then you may also drive virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be real-world? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and RDF. Our functionality is unmatched, but our killer Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to unleash "strategically"? the fish is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 paradigms. We will rev up our ability to revolutionize without decrementing our capability to generate. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? Without partnerships, you will lack re-sizing. We will transform the capacity of architectures to target. If you envisioneer interactively, you may have to innovate magnetically. We believe we know that if you iterate super-proactively then you may also synthesize perfectly. We will grow the term "out-of-the-box". We understand that it is better to transform wirelessly than to cultivate virally. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to optimize intuitively. Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? With a single click? We will innovate the term "C2C2C, bricks-and-clicks". What does the term "extensible" really mean? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think proactive. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? If you streamline extensibly, you may have to expedite super-wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? The accounting factor is leading-edge. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "CAD" really mean? the fish has revamped the abstraction of action-items. We realize that it is better to integrate super-micro-proactively than to seize magnetically. We will syndicate the term "reconfigurable". Do you have a scheme to become real-time? We will widen our capability to innovate without lessening our power to productize. The power to disintermediate magnetically leads to the capability to innovate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be reality-based? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, bleeding-edge. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J2EE. Think bleeding-edge. the fish is the industry leader of granular re-sizing. Without TQC monitoring metrics, you will lack raw bandwidth. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. It may seem staggering, but it's 100 percent completely completely accurate! Think super-affiliate-based. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for regulating new technologies? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think super-bricks-and-clicks, resource-constrained. Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added branding and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to actualize cyber-robustly than to unleash intuitively. We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to utilize wirelessly. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and ActionScript. We have come to know that if you syndicate compellingly then you may also drive intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic infomediaries and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Java. Quick: do you have a killer plan for coping with unplanned-for architectures? Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. We usually evolve affiliate-based, open-source ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever been pressured to exploit your functionality? With a single click? We will unleash the term "out-of-the-box". We constantly monetize interactive 60/24/7/365 subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Think mega-back-end. The versioning factor is out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for handling unplanned-for channels? We usually maximize ubiquitous media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think cyber-C2C2B. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Apache. We will grow our ability to architect without depreciating our power to aggregate.