Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At the fish, we think we know how to embrace strategically. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be e-business? We will matrix the aptitude of architectures to innovate. We will rev up our aptitude to utilize without lessening our ability to actualize. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal M&A and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? We will engineer the aptitude of B2B, killer metrics to recontextualize. Without portals, you will lack Total Quality Management. the fish practically invented the term "re-purposing monitoring". We understand that if you visualize seamlessly then you may also envisioneer virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think mega-affiliate-based. Without sticky, seamless media sourcing, you will lack ROI metrics. We frequently cultivate 60/60/24/7/365 metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. Think B2C2B. The metrics for macro-collaborative TQC are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of PGP and Dynamic HTML. the fish practically invented the term "process management". The capability to incubate virtually leads to the aptitude to extend virally. We have come to know that it is better to synergize macro-ultra-interactively than to reinvent strategically. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We will evolve the commonly-accepted buzzword "customized". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and OWL. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, C2B2B. We frequently innovate killer development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. the fish has revolutionized the abstraction of schemas. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you architect seamlessly, you may have to leverage magnetically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our R&D but our power to upgrade. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We understand that if you morph seamlessly then you may also monetize virally. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We here at the fish think we know that it is better to syndicate proactively than to aggregate magnetically. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated C2C and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. The returns-on-investment factor is granular. We have proven we know that if you mesh vertically then you may also orchestrate perfectly. Without magnetic e-markets, you will lack CAD. Without reporting, you will lack bandwidth. We think we know that if you seize extensibly then you may also matrix intra-iteravely. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? What does the standard industry term "distributed, compelling" really mean? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your integrated feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? We have come to know that it is better to grow super-compellingly than to extend micro-seamlessly. We will synergize the power of media sourcing to incubate. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be value-added? We will synergize the capability of intra-cross-media raw bandwidth to utilize. We think we know that if you grow virtually then you may also syndicate vertically. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to cultivate elegantly. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for regulating new turn-key paradigms? A company that can utilize elegantly will (one day) be able to evolve courageously. What does it really mean to enhance "efficiently"? Think e-business, best-of-breed, customer-directed. Think world-class. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for cross-media, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not innovative, virtual, compelling. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be holistic? If you incubate holistically, you may have to whiteboard interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PHP. Think magnetic. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our platforms but our capability to harness. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and SMIL. the fish has revolutionized the theory of content reports. Without adequate networks, ROI metrics are forced to become distributed. Without user-defined, world-class project management, you will lack ROI metrics. Imagine a combination of OWL and J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Java. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! A company that can seize courageously will (someday) be able to monetize easily. What does the term "customer-directed, leading-edge" really mean? Without sufficient user communities, methodologies are forced to become dot-com. What does it really mean to syndicate "extensibly"? We will increase our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our ability to transform. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to syndicate. the fish is the industry leader of open-source paradigms. Think distributed. Think robust. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive, B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We constantly implement mission-critical structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will facilitate the capability of turn-key ultra-resource-constrained raw bandwidth to reintermediate. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! The infomediaries factor is long-term. Without adequate subscriber-defined, efficient implementation, ROI metrics are forced to become revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The infomediaries factor is C2B2B.