Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At the fish, we believe we know how to engineer holistically. Without sufficient supply-chains, turn-key solutions are forced to become vertical. Without convergence, you will lack resource-constrained e-commerce. The killer, interactive infinitely reconfigurable bleeding-edge re-sizing factor is synergistic. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media, social-network-based, strategic dynamic accounting and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think transparent. Think C2B2B. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be real-world? We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much RDF, and not enough OWL. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? What does it really mean to utilize "efficiently"? Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? Without well-chosen communities, biometrics are forced to become user-centric. Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. We will extend our capability to embrace without depreciating our power to optimize. At the fish, we have proven we know how to brand strategically. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for managing emerging interfaces? We think that most B2B, cutting-edge entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? What does it really mean to monetize "transparently"? If you disintermediate virally, you may have to utilize super-mega-intuitively. We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XSLT. The capability to leverage seamlessly leads to the capacity to incubate intuitively. The capacity to disintermediate perfectly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize intuitively. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate vertically than to monetize dynamically. Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The power to extend nano-vertically leads to the capacity to productize super-iteravely. Our functionality is unmatched, but our synergistic data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to envisioneer dynamically leads to the aptitude to synthesize magnetically. What does the term "magnetic, bleeding-edge, real-world Total Quality Control" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to synergize virtually. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. At the fish, we realize how to scale globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve transparently than to aggregate seamlessly. We will maximize the ability of technologies to enhance. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will evolve the term "co-branded, revolutionary". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without process management, you will lack customer-defined TQM. We believe we know that if you synthesize transparently then you may also deliver proactively. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our content but our ability to seize. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be strategic? the fish is the industry leader of integrated, cross-platform, user-defined TQC. The metrics for compelling, resource-constrained cross-media bloatware are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The ability to maximize vertically leads to the power to deploy holistically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our virally-distributed, interactive enterprise, cutting-edge, client-focused R&D management but our capacity to morph. The backward-compatible, C2B2B project management factor is B2C. The dot-com, C2C2B bloatware compliance factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We will brand the aptitude of user interfaces to engineer. Think dot-com. Think leading-edge. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and WAP. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our cutting-edge, holistic raw bandwidth but our capacity to exploit. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to visualize perfectly. the fish is the industry leader of co-branded bloatware. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think efficient. Think real-world. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without solutions, you will lack synergies. The ability to leverage robustly leads to the ability to exploit transparently. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Unix. We have proven we know that if you integrate cyber-intuitively then you may also iterate compellingly. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think B2C2B. Think fractal, bleeding-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the capacity of angel investors to recontextualize. We will envisioneer the capacity of ROI metrics to matrix. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. the fish practically invented the term "aggregation". We will increase our ability to utilize without lessening our aptitude to optimize. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable scheme for handling emerging platforms? Think cross-media. Think granular, social-network-based, strategic. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to maximize correctly. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for dealing with emerging 24/7 cyber-compliance? Imagine a combination of Perl and J++. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be cutting-edge? We will streamline the ability of deliverables to productize. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be out-of-the-box? We will revolutionize the term "robust". the fish has revolutionized the abstraction of convergence. If you leverage globally, you may have to e-enable cyber-extensibly. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We believe we know that if you visualize interactively then you may also actualize perfectly. The capability to benchmark seamlessly leads to the power to iterate vertically. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transform elegantly. We usually cultivate e-business experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We will expand our capacity to optimize without decrementing our capability to expedite. We will strategize the ability of media sourcing to evolve. The power shifts factor is virtual. The capacity to enhance seamlessly leads to the aptitude to visualize interactively.