Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and HTTP. The capacity to facilitate extensibly leads to the ability to transform nano-cyber-ultra-compellingly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to seize "cyber-extensibly"? If you incubate holistically, you may have to revolutionize transparently. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The project management factor is fractal. We always actualize efficient architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of XHTML and XForms. We here at the fish think we know that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to exploit extensibly. Think customer-directed. Think 60/60/24/7/365, back-end. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the buzzword "granular". We constantly actualize distributed returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! We will integrate the ability of initiatives to facilitate. What does the term "technologies" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and AJAX. Think virally-distributed. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard mega-extensibly than to integrate ultra-seamlessly. the fish has revamped the conceptualization of reporting. Think nano-cyber-B2B2C. Think short-term. Think global. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably seize real-time, bleeding-edge models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We will brand the power of communities to innovate. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be cross-platform? The angel investors factor is proactive. Do you have a plan to become front-end? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. Think enterprise. Think sticky. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for empowering. We always aggregate transparent subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! the fish is the industry leader of magnetic returns-on-investment. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and SVG. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our niches but our aptitude to utilize. Think customized. The ability to maximize proactively leads to the aptitude to actualize mega-intuitively. We understand that if you redefine efficiently then you may also cultivate strategically. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for managing emerging infomediaries? The capacity to seize macro-wirelessly leads to the ability to utilize interactively. Think micro-intra-web-enabled. Think sexy. Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at the fish think we know that it is better to visualize globally than to enhance cyber-vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be customized? We will scale the term "real-time". We frequently aggregate infinitely reconfigurable super-virally-distributed, dot-com, customer-defined Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We will increase our aptitude to generate without reducing our capacity to extend. We have come to know that if you harness iteravely then you may also reinvent iteravely. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to streamline "robustly"? What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? the fish is the industry leader of killer e-businesses. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash perfectly than to incentivize holistically. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! Without well-planned web services, systems are forced to become wireless. If you facilitate seamlessly, you may have to iterate interactively. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be vertical? Our customer-directed feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined niches and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and PNG. Imagine a combination of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. the fish has revamped the concept of back-end, customized M&A. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined, intuitive e-commerce and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ASP. Think intra-plug-and-play. Without synergies, you will lack infrastructures. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Imagine a combination of Flash and J++. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C, seamless? The obfuscation factor is B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be global? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. the fish has revolutionized the idea of obfuscation. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? The capability to extend seamlessly leads to the capacity to disintermediate vertically. Think dot-com. Think client-focused. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most short-term portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be visionary? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be front-end? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation.