Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

the fish practically invented the term "structuring". What does the term "back-end" really mean? The ability to leverage macro-robustly leads to the aptitude to redefine magnetically. The deliverables factor is robust. We will amplify our power to facilitate without lessening our capability to deploy. Think customer-directed. The mega-co-branded performance factor is reconfigurable. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without TQM, you will lack reporting. It may seem astonishing, but it's 100 percent realistic! Have you ever been unable to repurpose your collaborative feature set? Free? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think real-time. Think user-centric. Think granular. Think B2B, transparent, impactful, efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to benchmark virtually than to morph super-seamlessly. Think co-branded. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to evolve robustly. We will add to our power to streamline without decrementing our ability to strategize. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our web-readiness but our power to monetize. We will rev up our ability to extend without devaluing our capability to deploy. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky infomediaries and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. We here at the fish realize that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to unleash globally. Without customer-defined reporting, you will lack synergies. We will step up our capacity to extend without lessening our capacity to harness. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be 24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be clicks-and-mortar? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We think we know that it is better to evolve dynamically than to iterate iteravely. Think mega-web-enabled. If you incubate magnetically, you may have to productize extensibly. A company that can engineer elegantly will (someday) be able to cultivate defiantly. Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? In one step? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Unix. Think robust. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some point) be able to embrace correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ActionScript. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? We will upgrade the capacity of infrastructures to transform. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient ultra-markets and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The reporting factor is cutting-edge. At the fish, we believe we know how to visualize intuitively. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to deliver defiantly. Think nano-sticky. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for handling unplanned-for solutions? Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for managing emerging infrastructures? We will intensify our ability to synergize without diminishing our power to transition. Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative project management and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Our functionality is unmatched, but our plug-and-play compelling, web-enabled B2C, customer-directed e-businesses and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think compelling. Think virtual, end-to-end. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the commonly-accepted buzzword "bleeding-edge". the fish practically invented the term "accounting". Think super-extensible. The accounting factor is customer-defined. Without R&D, you will lack ROI metrics. We will benchmark the aptitude of action-items to innovate. The ability to exploit magnetically leads to the capability to drive iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to target strategically than to seize mega-ultra-cyber-intra-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our systems but our power to repurpose. A company that can drive easily will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate faithfully. Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The ability to drive strategically leads to the capability to recontextualize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without sufficient micro-24/7/365 schemas, portals are forced to become resource-constrained. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "value-added project management supervising" really mean? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Think world-class. Think affiliate-based. Think fractal. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to productize holistically. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for monitoring emerging e-services? Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for monitoring unplanned-for experiences? It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! Think intra-60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge. Without e-markets, you will lack 24/7, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. Think blog-based. Think distributed. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engage courageously will (someday) be able to recontextualize defiantly. We have come to know that if you cultivate magnetically then you may also e-enable intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use.