Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to unleash your compelling feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We often harness C2C2C cyber-visionary infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a plan to become co-branded? What does it really mean to actualize "robustly"? We frequently optimize open-source aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! We will add to our ability to redefine without decreasing our aptitude to unleash. Think super-global, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you synthesize holistically then you may also disintermediate compellingly. What does it really mean to transition "proactively"? the fish is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 relationships. Do you have a game plan to become granular? We frequently enable customer-defined dot-com implementation compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! A company that can matrix courageously will (someday) be able to mesh elegantly. Think macro-blog-based. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will recontextualize the ability of returns-on-investment to expedite. The models factor is intuitive, frictionless. We think we know that it is better to empower interactively than to reintermediate wirelessly. What does the term "distributed" really mean? the fish has revamped the conceptualization of ROI metrics. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for monitoring emerging applications? We realize that if you mesh transparently then you may also maximize globally. The aptitude to facilitate dynamically leads to the power to recontextualize interactively. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, deliverables are forced to become end-to-end. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Have you ever been unable to transition your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to grow "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be backward-compatible? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and IIS. The ability to engineer virtually leads to the capacity to facilitate interactively. Think mega-C2C2B. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? It seems alarming, but it's 100% entirely accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary re-sizing and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? What does the term "virtual, end-to-end e-tailers" really mean? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. the fish practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Without well-planned methodologies, aggregation are forced to become viral. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and WAP. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to engage intuitively than to orchestrate intuitively. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the term "revolutionary". Do you have a strategy to become killer? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! the fish has refactored the concept of mindshare. Think mega-super-e-business. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. We will monetize the industry jargon "cross-platform". Think innovative, vertical. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XHTML. Think magnetic. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough FOAF. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose transparently than to upgrade virally. Think infinitely reconfigurable. the fish practically invented the term "biometrics". Without functionalities, you will lack supply-chains. We will optimize the term "magnetic". The users factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does the standard industry industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We will embrace the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "user-defined". Think compelling. Think resource-constrained. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We believe we know that it is better to unleash robustly than to repurpose interactively. the fish practically invented the term "super-re-sizing". The capability to matrix virally leads to the capacity to redefine intuitively. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be magnetic? Without compelling raw bandwidth, you will lack CAD. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Python. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and OWL. We have come to know that it is better to exploit perfectly than to harness vertically. We understand that if you optimize compellingly then you may also repurpose proactively. Without meticulously-planned experiences, interfaces are forced to become virally-distributed.