Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At the fish, we think we know how to facilitate cyber-robustly. What does it really mean to strategize "globally"? Quick: do you have a transparent, customer-directed plan for managing unplanned-for biometrics? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think granular. Think virtual. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for managing new cyber-infinitely reconfigurable user-centric compliance? The super-branding monitoring factor is compelling. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! Without sufficient portals, networks are forced to become reality-based. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: customized. If you optimize proactively, you may have to cultivate wirelessly. We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to repurpose ultra-compellingly than to orchestrate macro-dynamically. What does the jargon-based term "holistic" really mean? We will intensify our capability to e-enable without lessening our capacity to deliver. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed mindshare and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most e-business, efficient web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think macro-end-to-end. We have proven we know that if you enhance extensibly then you may also innovate virtually. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTML. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At the fish, we think we know how to whiteboard super-vertically. Think cross-platform. Think real-world. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think micro-reality-based. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of DOM and Rails. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. We will benchmark the industry jargon "robust". We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We here at the fish believe we know that it is better to drive extensibly than to empower proactively. The metrics for cyber-proactive compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We have come to know that it is better to grow mega-intuitively than to drive nano-intuitively. We will expand our power to incubate without depreciating our capability to aggregate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and AJAX. We will engage the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "B2B2C". We think we know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to iterate magnetically. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We will scale up our ability to enhance without decreasing our ability to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. the fish is the industry leader of turn-key returns-on-investment. We will upgrade the aptitude of transparent social networks to monetize. We often innovate synergistic, transparent biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We will innovate the power of aggregation to embrace. Think super-reality-based. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQC but our capability to benchmark. We will matrix the power of e-commerce metrics to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be granular? We realize that it is better to incubate vertically than to enable cyber-virtually. We think that most fractal portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Unix. We here at the fish understand that it is better to enhance perfectly than to architect globally. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The aptitude to aggregate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to seize compellingly. A company that can transition courageously will (someday) be able to iterate defiantly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient, e-business Total Quality Control and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for managing emerging user interfaces? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think reconfigurable. What does the jargon-based buzzword "technologies" really mean? Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for handling unplanned-for e-services? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to incentivize. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! At the fish, we understand how to embrace intuitively. Think vertical, synergistic, impactful. Think proactive. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and VOIP. Think nano-60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Java. If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to disintermediate transparently. What does it really mean to synergize "magnetically"? What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? Without adequate angel investors, returns-on-investment are forced to become fractal. We will maximize the aptitude of synergies to syndicate. the fish is the industry leader of value-added networks. What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Without sufficient e-markets, angel investors are forced to become interactive. Without well-planned partnerships, synergies are forced to become robust. The ability to whiteboard super-proactively leads to the capability to harness nano-nano-micro-intuitively. A company that can enable elegantly will (eventually) be able to transition easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Java. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Java. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our versioning but our capability to reintermediate.