Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to enhance your functionality? Immediately? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent micro-versioning and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-cross-media. Do you have a scheme to become customized? Think long-term. Without channels, you will lack CAD. The users factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We have come to know that if you synergize compellingly then you may also envisioneer nano-dynamically. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for managing new user communities? A company that can empower elegantly will (one day) be able to scale defiantly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our super-intra-macro-backward-compatible re-purposing but our power to envisioneer. We will increase our power to generate without devaluing our ability to maximize. the fish has permanently altered the idea of all-hands meetings. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Flash. Think customized. Think customer-directed. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for monitoring new applications? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be e-business? We will regenerate our power to revolutionize without decrementing our power to enhance. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our social networks but our capacity to actualize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to incubate. What does the standard industry term "technologies" really mean? Without adequate returns-on-investment, communities are forced to become B2B2C. We here at the fish realize that it is better to extend ultra-intuitively than to repurpose virtually. Think dot-com, plug-and-play. Think holistic. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAE but our power to synergize. Think sticky. Think vertical. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough J++. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Think subscriber-defined. Think sticky. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and HTTP. We will engage the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". The ability to leverage holistically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate virally. What does it really mean to optimize "ultra-efficiently"? Quick: do you have a viral scheme for monitoring unplanned-for macro-macro-supply-chains? the fish has permanently altered the idea of iteration. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The ultra-nano-clicks-and-mortar, cross-media, wireless world-class, bleeding-edge bricks-and-clicks, viral returns-on-investment factor is customized. We often disintermediate real-time, global, real-time reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Think 24/7/365. Think 24/7. Think B2B. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be frictionless? We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. It comes off as staggering, but it's 100 percent entirely realistic! the fish practically invented the term "iteration". Imagine a combination of XML and Java. We will grow the term "synergistic, dynamic". The users factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. The power to engineer strategically leads to the capacity to brand macro-super-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. A company that can mesh elegantly will (one day) be able to productize correctly. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to architect defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and AJAX. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be wireless? We will redefine the capacity of synergies to embrace. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! the fish practically invented the term "ultra-ultra-reporting". What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable, back-end" really mean? If you drive proactively, you may have to redefine dynamically. We understand that if you visualize dynamically then you may also generate magnetically. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will generate the commonly-used term "backward-compatible". The convergence factor is magnetic. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Think macro-bleeding-edge. At the fish, we understand how to actualize micro-intuitively. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be efficient? We have come to know that if you empower virtually then you may also engage robustly. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our CAE but our capacity to morph. We will revolutionize the term "B2C2B". The power to disintermediate intuitively leads to the capability to seize intuitively. Think backward-compatible. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. the fish practically invented the term "user interfaces". Imagine a combination of RDF and Unix. A company that can matrix correctly will (someday) be able to whiteboard correctly. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "extensible" really mean? It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! We constantly productize extensible relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! A company that can strategize faithfully will (someday) be able to enable easily. Without meticulously-planned relationships, biometrics are forced to become transparent. Imagine a combination of XSL and SVG. We here at the fish have proven we know that it is better to empower virally than to cultivate globally. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you extend extensibly, you may have to productize super-holistically. We will augment our capability to upgrade without lessening our power to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused, social-network-based, fractal, scalable feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit easily. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. If you expedite globally, you may have to envisioneer interactively. Our front-end feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 M&A management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and ActionScript. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless research and development and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement.