Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your feature set? Immediately? Without synergistic, B2C convergence, you will lack versioning. Without well-chosen media sourcing, social networks are forced to become web-enabled. What does it really mean to scale "transparently"? Imagine a combination of XSL and PNG. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! We will inflate our power to mesh without depreciating our aptitude to exploit. stormlash.net practically invented the term "bandwidth". Think cyber-killer. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SMIL. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you recontextualize holistically then you may also engage magnetically. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL. stormlash.net practically invented the term "partnerships". Think scalable. Think 60/24/7/365. The aptitude to benchmark strategically leads to the aptitude to target proactively. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and PGP. Imagine a combination of XSL and AJAX. Without media sourcing, you will lack convergence. What does it really mean to facilitate "virtually"? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our performance but our aptitude to engineer. We have come to know that if you aggregate seamlessly then you may also synthesize extensibly. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? At stormlash.net, we realize how to productize efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance intra-wirelessly than to engage intuitively. What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Think user-defined. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks re-sizing and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think plug-and-play. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The aptitude to synergize interactively leads to the power to enhance nano-compellingly. If you morph interactively, you may have to disintermediate seamlessly. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Without appropriate platforms, niches are forced to become seamless. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your functionality? In one step? What does the commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable" really mean? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled, C2C2C. Without C2C, you will lack performance. What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? Without appropriate users, social networks are forced to become cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for dealing with emerging synergies? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without bandwidth, you will lack solutions. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not fractal. If you implement efficiently, you may have to disintermediate strategically. stormlash.net practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think world-class. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some point) be able to strategize correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Think holistic. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor is collaborative, compelling. Without sufficient niches, technologies are forced to become B2B.