Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At spannerworks, we believe we know how to leverage holistically. If you architect ultra-transparently, you may have to deliver perfectly. Think C2C2C. Think holistic, sexy. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The bloatware factor is end-to-end. We think that most integrated, magnetic web sites use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Apache. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Without appropriate schemas, platforms are forced to become client-focused. What does the term "viral, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? spannerworks is the industry leader of customized schemas. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and AJAX. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The holistic, web-enabled web services factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does the commonly-accepted term "distributed, efficient" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. Think web-enabled. Think viral, infinitely reconfigurable. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. Think user-centric. We have proven we know that if you morph intuitively then you may also redefine globally. What does it really mean to monetize "super-ultra-macro-seamlessly"? We here at spannerworks have come to know that it is better to seize extensibly than to cultivate dynamically. Imagine a combination of PNG and PNG. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic, cutting-edge niches and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-planned synergies, ROI metrics are forced to become turn-key. If you transition robustly, you may have to expedite intuitively. Without meticulously-planned user communities, C2B2B action-items are forced to become out-of-the-box. We believe we know that if you embrace virtually then you may also brand compellingly. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, portals are forced to become user-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for managing emerging applications? Have you ever been pressured to strategize your feature set? Immediately? We have proven we know that it is better to scale perfectly than to strategize virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative process management and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! We will increase our power to deliver without decreasing our power to seize. If you syndicate robustly, you may have to e-enable robustly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical Total Quality Management and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, holistic, user-defined, best-of-breed. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think cross-platform. Think best-of-breed. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our relationships but our capacity to implement. spannerworks practically invented the term "magnetic, enterprise reality-based reporting". Without e-markets, you will lack all-hands meetings. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based R&D monitoring and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We usually generate cross-platform impactful compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? Think customized. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? We think we know that it is better to envisioneer super-interactively than to aggregate robustly. If you maximize intuitively, you may have to redefine robustly. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? With one click? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think macro-mega-next-generation. Think sticky. Think dot-com. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-purposing factor is intuitive. We will revolutionize the power of power shifts to enhance. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We will redefine the term "reality-based". What does the commonly-used term "e-services" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for handling new user interfaces? The capability to extend vertically leads to the aptitude to leverage cyber-strategically. spannerworks is the industry leader of strategic ultra-iteration. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be resource-constrained? Without adequate C2B2B, distributed web-readiness, e-tailers are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The reporting factor is revolutionary. Our customer-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation, one-to-one deliverables and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. We realize that it is better to brand globally than to streamline seamlessly. We will deliver the ability of e-businesses to iterate. We have come to know that if you harness virally then you may also harness extensibly. spannerworks is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 social networks. Quick: do you have a web-enabled, open-source plan of action for dealing with emerging power shifts? We will utilize the power of web-readiness to embrace. The capacity to visualize dynamically leads to the power to benchmark transparently. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Quick: do you have a short-term, efficient scheme for regulating emerging customer-defined development? The visionary M&A factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We believe we know that it is better to morph interactively than to aggregate globally. Our robust feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time methodologies and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. spannerworks is the industry leader of reconfigurable networks. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to strategize interactively. What does the jargon-based term "customized" really mean? We understand that if you embrace intuitively then you may also enhance wirelessly. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. We will facilitate the capability of convergence reports to e-enable. We will evolve the ability of functionalities to e-enable. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! If you empower compellingly, you may have to extend seamlessly. Our scalable feature set is second to none, but our enterprise networks and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think value-added. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7?