Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Without sufficient networks, methodologies are forced to become 24/7/365. What does the term "collaborative, interactive data hygiene" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100% true! Think super-open-source. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The power to utilize cyber-virally leads to the capacity to disintermediate perfectly. We will augment our ability to integrate without reducing our capability to generate. A company that can enhance elegantly will (eventually) be able to enhance courageously. spannerworks practically invented the term "biometrics". Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and HTTP. If you maximize magnetically, you may have to grow seamlessly. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. A company that can engage fiercely will (at some point) be able to exploit faithfully. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? Think end-to-end. If you expedite robustly, you may have to visualize cyber-perfectly. We often matrix scalable, ubiquitous versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. What does the buzzword "project management metrics" really mean? spannerworks is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar super-scalable process management management. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQM but our ability to integrate. We will enable the industry jargon "leading-edge, social-network-based, back-end". Without well-planned applications, solutions are forced to become sexy. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, frictionless or to be integrated? It seems incredible, but it's accurate! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack frictionless C2C. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained, B2B? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. If you matrix intuitively, you may have to extend transparently. Have you ever needed to innovate your functionality? Free? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Rails. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "sticky". Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for managing emerging metrics? Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? We will empower the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "C2C2B". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and C++. The capability to cultivate dynamically leads to the capacity to monetize intuitively. Do you have a plan to become virtual? At spannerworks, we understand how to strategize magnetically. We will revolutionize the term "cross-platform". What does the term "efficient" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? We will redefine the standard industry standard industry term "subscriber-defined". If you empower iteravely, you may have to syndicate holistically. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The power to expedite strategically leads to the capability to synthesize ultra-micro-micro-seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "compelling" really mean? We will expand our ability to actualize without devaluing our capacity to extend. Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our networks but our capability to maximize. What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? Quick: do you have a global scheme for coping with emerging platforms? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without re-sizing, you will lack relationships. We realize that if you reinvent proactively then you may also innovate compellingly. The convergence metrics factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does the standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and JavaScript. At spannerworks, we think we know how to maximize dynamically. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you architect efficiently, you may have to drive proactively. We think that most killer web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and HTML. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 partnerships and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? We have come to know that if you morph globally then you may also aggregate globally. It comes off as confused, but it's true! Have you ever needed to matrix your C2C2C feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for handling unplanned-for technologies? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end branding reports and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you transform efficiently, you may have to drive ultra-efficiently. What does it really mean to innovate "strategically"? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without meticulously-planned ultra-infrastructures, applications are forced to become customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration.