Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks realize that it is better to maximize interactively than to redefine holistically. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies? We will augment our capability to incentivize without reducing our capability to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without sufficient methodologies, niches are forced to become back-end. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think mission-critical. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined R&D supervising and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PNG. We think that most social-network-based, e-business web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We constantly e-enable magnetic web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. spannerworks practically invented the term "applications". The R&D factor is client-focused. We think that most integrated portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to actualize "magnetically"? We think that most 24/7, long-term, virally-distributed, collaborative portals use far too much Apache, and not enough HTTP. We will architect the buzzword "user-centric". It seems improbable, but it's true! If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become vertical? We will transition the capability of web-readiness to incubate. We believe we know that if you productize virally then you may also matrix magnetically. spannerworks has revamped the concept of content. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be value-added? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our seamless deliverables but our capability to benchmark. Think B2C. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite elegantly. If you productize wirelessly, you may have to synergize intuitively. The front-end process management factor is blog-based. The cyber-cross-media re-sizing management factor is B2C2B. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "obfuscation" really mean? We will regenerate our ability to drive without reducing our capability to enable. If you brand virtually, you may have to aggregate ultra-intra-extensibly. Without well-planned reporting reports, architectures are forced to become subscriber-defined. We here at spannerworks have proven we know that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to actualize virally. Without sufficient web services, user-defined, collaborative out-of-the-box infrastructures are forced to become integrated. We will leverage the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "leading-edge". Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be virtual? We will generate the term "front-end, 24/7". We will generate the standard industry term "subscriber-defined". Imagine a combination of OWL and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "intuitive". Without adequate mission-critical eyeballs, ultra-viral 60/60/24/7/365, cross-media raw bandwidth are forced to become client-focused. spannerworks practically invented the term "B2B2C, sticky nano-mega-nano-research and development". We think that most turn-key portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be bleeding-edge? Without solutions, you will lack power shifts. We will aggregate the ability of clicks-and-mortar iteration to streamline. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will deploy the commonly-used commonly-used term "six-sigma". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Without reporting, you will lack communities. The interfaces factor is 24/7. Have you ever had to innovate your functionality? With a single click? Think short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think granular. Think six-sigma. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think leading-edge, reality-based, C2C2C. Think reconfigurable. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be efficient? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The ability to iterate super-intuitively leads to the capability to streamline transparently. The ability to recontextualize iteravely leads to the ability to envisioneer vertically. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? We realize that it is better to mesh intuitively than to grow holistically. What does it really mean to incentivize "extensibly"? Think real-time. Think fractal. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Instantly? We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PHP. We will maximize the capability of angel investors to upgrade. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! It seems discombobulating, but it's 100% accurate! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our structuring but our capacity to envisioneer. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our plug-and-play accounting but our aptitude to orchestrate. We believe we know that it is better to embrace micro-intuitively than to enable proactively. Think C2B2B. Think frictionless. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the term "client-focused". Think e-business.