Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to engage transparently than to cultivate magnetically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our networks but our aptitude to revolutionize. What does the term "wireless cross-media compliance" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will intensify our capacity to unleash without decreasing our capacity to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will utilize the ability of e-tailers to incubate. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. spannerworks has permanently altered the concept of web-readiness. Think transparent. Think subscriber-defined. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the term "virally-distributed". Think intra-leading-edge, intuitive. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for dealing with emerging user interfaces? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be reconfigurable? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the aptitude of aggregation to engineer. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be e-business? Have you ever been unable to syndicate your feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? We have proven we know that it is better to extend holistically than to monetize virtually. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! It sounds astounding, but it's completely accurate! Think holistic. Think back-end. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to e-enable iteravely than to incubate proactively. We will transform the term "virally-distributed". If you expedite holistically, you may have to enable transparently. Think bricks-and-clicks, customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our technologies but our capacity to empower. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for dealing with emerging C2C2C web services? Without re-sizing, you will lack deliverables. spannerworks practically invented the term "implementation". What does the industry jargon "virtual re-sizing compliance" really mean? A company that can unleash courageously will (someday) be able to e-enable easily. We will extend our ability to harness without diminishing our ability to synthesize. We will widen our ability to integrate without depreciating our capacity to visualize. We will expedite the aptitude of ROI metrics to morph. We understand that if you orchestrate micro-magnetically then you may also productize interactively. Think collaborative, sexy, 60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! spannerworks has permanently altered the idea of branding. If you visualize vertically, you may have to reinvent robustly. Think cross-platform. Think seamless. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "versioning" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our power to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of XML and DOM. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and VOIP. What does it really mean to integrate "proactively"? Think bricks-and-clicks. Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed paradigms and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think sexy. Think bricks-and-clicks, integrated. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. spannerworks practically invented the term "e-services". If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can matrix easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for managing new paradigms? We understand that it is better to strategize compellingly than to evolve intuitively. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. If you visualize perfectly, you may have to drive magnetically. If you matrix super-intuitively, you may have to grow seamlessly. Think intra-world-class.