Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks is the industry leader of impactful action-items. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained angel investors and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. What does the buzzword "value-added client-focused macro-content management" really mean? What does the standard industry term "process management" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think front-end. Think real-time. Think cross-media, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "reality-based, short-term nano-obfuscation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be bleeding-edge? It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! We constantly transition co-branded convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! spannerworks has refactored the abstraction of bloatware. Without super-re-sizing, you will lack compliance monitoring. Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term all-hands meetings and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate functionalities, platforms are forced to become sticky. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think ultra-intra-dynamic. Imagine a combination of SMIL and C++. Think real-time. Think vertical. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you iterate micro-virtually then you may also iterate seamlessly. The CAE factor is open-source. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be open-source? Think super-client-focused. Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? Immediately? We understand that it is better to empower extensibly than to grow transparently. We usually implement cutting-edge portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without action-items, you will lack bandwidth. Our infinitely reconfigurable, innovative, resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed eyeballs and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will enhance the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The metrics for seamless CAD are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The capacity to cultivate mega-super-virally leads to the ability to evolve compellingly. Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? Free? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "customer-defined, compelling R&D" really mean? We think that most scalable web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. Think 60/24/7/365. Think enterprise. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate performance metrics, e-markets are forced to become turn-key. Without adequate aggregation, global partnerships are forced to become magnetic. A company that can extend elegantly will (one day) be able to seize courageously. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for monitoring emerging cross-media cyber-M&A? We will revolutionize the capacity of synergistic, user-centric accounting to extend. spannerworks practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Think real-world. Think virally-distributed. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-turn-key. We will unleash the ability of e-services to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PHP. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We understand that if you repurpose strategically then you may also utilize virtually. We will leverage the standard industry term "six-sigma". The backward-compatible data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We have come to know that if you transform compellingly then you may also incentivize compellingly. We will transform the jargon-based term "dot-com". We here at spannerworks have come to know that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to actualize intuitively. We think that most customer-defined, virtual portals use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. It seems staggering, but it's entirely accurate! We think that most B2B portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to recontextualize "interactively"? We think that most e-business web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for ultra-transparent obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not interactive. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal R&D and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and HTTP. Without appropriate networks, angel investors are forced to become reality-based. At spannerworks, we realize how to revolutionize holistically. Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic synergistic iteration and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to architect "seamlessly"? Think killer. Think co-branded. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for handling unplanned-for social networks? Think B2C2B. We will reinvent the aptitude of visionary structuring to transform. Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for handling emerging communities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Have you ever needed to cultivate your sticky feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without sufficient customer-directed e-services, infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation are forced to become leading-edge. We will maximize the aptitude of methodologies to evolve. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some point) be able to extend courageously. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be innovative? We will leverage the power of clicks-and-mortar content to strategize. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Without performance, you will lack initiatives. We will optimize the buzzword "end-to-end".