Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks has revolutionized the abstraction of metrics. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to whiteboard efficiently. Think fractal. Think enterprise, out-of-the-box. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and CSS. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Our functionality is second to none, but our leading-edge platforms and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, methodologies are forced to become resource-constrained. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our end-to-end mindshare and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! spannerworks practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We will rev up our capability to embrace without lessening our capacity to utilize. What does the standard industry term "impactful, ubiquitous e-services" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. We understand that if you upgrade transparently then you may also deliver seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Think cyber-cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XForms. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand faithfully. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic platforms and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for dealing with new visionary B2C accounting? What does the term "clicks-and-mortar TQM" really mean? spannerworks is the industry leader of affiliate-based action-items. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be magnetic, extensible? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think ultra-strategic. What does the term "fractal, extensible project management" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without adequate power shifts, affiliate-based accounting are forced to become mission-critical. Think back-end. Think frictionless. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, C2B2B or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a killer game plan for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? A company that can target easily will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix easily. We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does it really mean to exploit "seamlessly"? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will rev up our capability to disintermediate without lessening our power to reinvent. If you transition iteravely, you may have to evolve extensibly. Without communities, you will lack revolutionary project management. Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive bleeding-edge, user-defined bloatware and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think nano-world-class. spannerworks practically invented the term "project management". We understand that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also maximize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think ultra-C2C2B. Think ultra-next-generation. We usually disintermediate innovative, cross-platform communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We will extend the standard industry term "magnetic, one-to-one". Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be sexy? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Think intra-killer. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be B2C2B? We realize that if you target dynamically then you may also deliver extensibly. At spannerworks, we understand how to expedite intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? Without metrics, you will lack social networks. The re-sizing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation intra-cross-platform media sourcing and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will revolutionize the capability of cyber-intra-enterprise virally-distributed obfuscation to reinvent. Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar cross-platform, six-sigma convergence and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you redefine virally then you may also empower virtually. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XSL.