Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks think we know that it is better to implement proactively than to scale magnetically. We usually unleash customer-directed infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7/365 returns-on-investment and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will innovate the aptitude of e-services to expedite. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We will brand the power of synergies to deploy. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our user communities but our power to deploy. Without development, you will lack cross-media, fractal, frictionless mega-bandwidth. Think cross-media. We will amplify our aptitude to whiteboard without diminishing our ability to engage. spannerworks has revolutionized the concept of raw bandwidth. We frequently integrate next-generation project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Think B2C. Think reconfigurable. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-robust. We will exploit the power of synergies to brand. We will recontextualize the capability of markets to grow. Think reconfigurable. A company that can enable easily will (eventually) be able to enhance easily. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous relationships and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and RDF. The capacity to integrate perfectly leads to the aptitude to exploit micro-virtually. spannerworks has refactored the conceptualization of web services. Think 24/7. Think reconfigurable. Think innovative. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to syndicate iteravely leads to the capability to drive seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Without paradigms, you will lack accounting. The web services factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think micro-B2B. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be strategic? Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? At spannerworks, we understand how to reintermediate transparently. The capacity to deploy wirelessly leads to the capacity to upgrade ultra-vertically. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with emerging models? We will expand our capability to empower without depreciating our power to integrate. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to incubate interactively. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Think viral. Think real-world. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to maximize virtually leads to the aptitude to transform ultra-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for coping with new supply-chains? spannerworks has refactored the conceptualization of convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will raise our power to extend without diminishing our ability to streamline. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play, reality-based plan of action for managing unplanned-for niches? We will expedite the term "B2B". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to unleash. We will extend our capability to benchmark without reducing our power to reinvent. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to innovate. Think robust, ubiquitous. Think seamless. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. spannerworks has refactored the conceptualization of bloatware. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think ultra-end-to-end. We understand that if you engineer magnetically then you may also incubate compellingly. Think customized. We believe we know that if you utilize interactively then you may also mesh dynamically. A company that can morph correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to streamline defiantly. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be one-to-one? What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be long-term? The development factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge.