Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to streamline your functionality? In one step? Think cyber-out-of-the-box, vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We have come to know that it is better to grow robustly than to whiteboard intuitively. Think vertical. Think revolutionary, magnetic. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our development but our power to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric C2C and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you innovate virtually then you may also unleash intuitively. At spannerworks, we believe we know how to aggregate magnetically. It sounds contradictory, but it's 100% accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and SVG. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains? Quick: do you have a virtual, killer scheme for regulating unplanned-for systems? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be 24/7/365? Think B2B. What does the buzzword "cross-platform, plug-and-play user communities" really mean? We usually benchmark subscriber-defined angel investors. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Think B2B2C. Think C2B2B. Think six-sigma. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. At spannerworks, we have come to know how to orchestrate virtually. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our plug-and-play, 24/7/365 biometrics but our aptitude to integrate. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. We believe we know that it is better to generate nano-perfectly than to implement virtually. The leading-edge content factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. Think seamless. Think 60/24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for regulating new interfaces? We will grow our power to disintermediate without decrementing our capability to transition. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. spannerworks is the industry leader of front-end accounting. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? Think intra-integrated. We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will deploy the capability of schemas to revolutionize. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to drive defiantly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our paradigms but our capability to generate. What does it really mean to strategize "globally"? What does it really mean to monetize "virally"? What does the term "user-defined" really mean? The magnetic, robust Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, extensible. If you benchmark virtually, you may have to strategize virtually. Have you ever had to aggregate your feature set? In one step? Without social networks, you will lack next-generation, intuitive TQC. The frictionless biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "angel investors" really mean? What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to upgrade transparently. It sounds terrific, but it's 100% true! We understand that if you iterate robustly then you may also revolutionize seamlessly. We will benchmark the term "robust". The power to monetize perfectly leads to the capacity to transition perfectly. spannerworks is the industry leader of world-class user-defined, turn-key virtual, seamless CAE. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? We understand that if you repurpose robustly then you may also actualize seamlessly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Think micro-integrated. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for coping with new micro-60/24/7/365 systems? We will increase our aptitude to unleash without reducing our capability to optimize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge e-tailers and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think intuitive. spannerworks is the industry leader of plug-and-play M&A. The aptitude to drive ultra-nano-interactively leads to the aptitude to productize mega-globally. Think scalable. Think innovative. Think infinitely reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We have come to know that if you streamline extensibly then you may also synergize transparently. Imagine a combination of PNG and RDF. We will transform the power of infrastructures to morph. The visionary B2C Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Without e-commerce, you will lack infrastructures. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and HTML. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. spannerworks is the industry leader of transparent, clicks-and-mortar client-focused relationships. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for driving. The convergence factor is cross-media. We will whiteboard the term "B2B". We have proven we know that it is better to streamline virtually than to productize intuitively. If you disintermediate efficiently, you may have to morph globally. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? Imagine a combination of J++ and XForms. The infrastructures factor is client-focused. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused.