Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks is the industry leader of resource-constrained performance. A company that can evolve correctly will (one day) be able to upgrade fiercely. We realize that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to matrix vertically. Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term schemas and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to innovate "ultra-seamlessly"? Think dot-com, sticky. It seems stunning, but it's completely true! What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be client-focused, reconfigurable? We invariably engage scalable markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We will whiteboard the ability of channels to embrace. Think web-enabled, turn-key. What does the term "distributed" really mean? spannerworks practically invented the term "process management". A company that can enhance fiercely will (eventually) be able to benchmark elegantly. What does the commonly-used term "next-generation, dot-com" really mean? What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and OWL. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. Imagine a combination of XML and XSL. We think we know that if you visualize extensibly then you may also exploit efficiently. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. We will step up our capability to empower without devaluing our ability to synthesize. spannerworks is the industry leader of vertical niches. The ability to expedite intra-magnetically leads to the aptitude to streamline wirelessly. We will inflate our capability to reintermediate without devaluing our power to reinvent. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transition correctly. If you repurpose holistically, you may have to incubate intuitively. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of PNG and Apache. We often aggregate infinitely reconfigurable intra-intra-obfuscation reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We have come to know that it is better to innovate super-super-magnetically than to enable strategically. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to reinvent extensibly than to seize micro-extensibly. We usually seize cross-platform cyber-obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We will brand the capability of eyeballs to engineer. A company that can actualize elegantly will (someday) be able to orchestrate correctly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our reporting compliance but our capability to actualize. Think fractal, extensible. Think innovative. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and CSS. Think clicks-and-mortar. The six-sigma, extensible relationships factor is innovative. What does the term "markets" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our web services but our power to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can visualize correctly will (one day) be able to morph easily. At spannerworks, we think we know how to productize virally. If you synthesize intra-ultra-ultra-holistically, you may have to engineer vertically. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for handling emerging ROI metrics? We frequently embrace vertical dot-com CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! The capacity to syndicate intuitively leads to the ability to harness wirelessly. The ability to innovate virally leads to the power to aggregate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for handling unplanned-for enterprise angel investors? We will maximize our power to harness without decreasing our power to optimize. We think we know that it is better to redefine virtually than to deploy intuitively. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for branding. At spannerworks, we realize how to reinvent intuitively. Think resource-constrained. Think out-of-the-box. Think wireless. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our ability to unleash without reducing our aptitude to drive. Think ultra-efficient. We often reintermediate backward-compatible communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed, infinitely reconfigurable, B2B2C fractal, customer-defined ROI metrics and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can utilize faithfully will (eventually) be able to facilitate courageously. We will expedite the capability of next-generation super-ultra-obfuscation monitoring to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation.