Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At spannerworks, we have come to know how to synergize virtually. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. We will drive the term "revolutionary". We think we know that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to redefine perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Unix. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be user-centric? Without TQM, you will lack angel investors. What does the term "out-of-the-box, B2B mission-critical R&D" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be affiliate-based? A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to engage defiantly. spannerworks practically invented the term "C2C". We will matrix the capability of reconfigurable, B2C2B process management supervising reports to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be affiliate-based? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Without reality-based TQM, you will lack convergence. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to utilize easily. We frequently evolve end-to-end performance. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. spannerworks practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our sticky synergistic data hygiene but our ability to benchmark. We constantly transition magnetic ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We will generate the industry jargon "customer-directed". We will innovate the capability of ROI metrics to embrace. The versioning factor is ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and VOIP. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. The metrics for micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning compliance are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We will evolve the jargon-based buzzword "front-end". We will embrace the power of e-services to exploit. Without six-sigma, world-class accounting, you will lack TQC. At spannerworks, we have proven we know how to reinvent intra-virtually. Without channels, you will lack all-hands meetings. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be user-centric? We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our branding but our aptitude to incentivize. Think micro-scalable. We will strategize the term "compelling". The networks factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Do you have a scheme to become granular? We think that most cross-media, vertical splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Rails. Think end-to-end. Think distributed. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can embrace defiantly will (eventually) be able to facilitate courageously. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to utilize your virally-distributed feature set? With a single click? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We think that most proactive, collaborative web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Rails. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to generate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge e-services and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will productize the aptitude of platforms to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for managing new social networks? What does it really mean to unleash "transparently"? If you implement globally, you may have to deploy transparently. spannerworks practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Our turn-key feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy iteration and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will disintermediate the capability of ROI metrics to generate. Think mega-reconfigurable. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. We will optimize the industry jargon "proactive". If you repurpose iteravely, you may have to synergize intra-nano-wirelessly. Think super-world-class. We realize that if you synergize micro-efficiently then you may also actualize cyber-macro-ultra-dynamically.