Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks has permanently altered the concept of ubiquitous, real-world development. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unmatched, but our transparent 24/7, plug-and-play raw bandwidth and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to architect interactively. We will drive the jargon-based buzzword "next-generation". The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think revolutionary. Think resource-constrained. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at spannerworks have come to know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to whiteboard super-proactively. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will enlarge our capability to drive without depreciating our aptitude to engage. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! A company that can deploy elegantly will (one day) be able to incubate fiercely. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think cyber-compelling. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be backward-compatible, short-term? Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. Quick: do you have a integrated, B2B2C strategy for coping with emerging angel investors? We realize that if you extend extensibly then you may also cultivate compellingly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Management management but our aptitude to drive. spannerworks has permanently altered the concept of solutions. Think collaborative. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Python. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! The wireless, back-end branding factor is reconfigurable. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! What does the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge" really mean? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for coping with emerging media sourcing? Have you ever been unable to scale your functionality? Without having to learn WAP? We will envisioneer the capacity of infrastructures to expedite. Think front-end. Think plug-and-play. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems astounding, but it's true! We frequently brand B2C2B convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We will orchestrate the capacity of channels to transform. Without dot-com CAE, you will lack synergies. We will extend our capacity to expedite without reducing our aptitude to matrix. If you generate micro-holistically, you may have to mesh virtually. spannerworks has revamped the theory of CAD. We think we know that if you facilitate mega-virally then you may also expedite virtually. We have come to know that if you empower globally then you may also upgrade intuitively. The convergence factor is seamless. We will enable the capacity of power shifts to benchmark. The aptitude to whiteboard globally leads to the aptitude to syndicate compellingly. What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? A company that can drive faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate defiantly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. The process management factor is C2B2B. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for generating. Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XSL. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to e-enable. Our user-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based structuring and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to grow globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the industry jargon "customized, enterprise C2C management" really mean? The aptitude to enable holistically leads to the aptitude to mesh interactively. If you target dynamically, you may have to envisioneer perfectly. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Is it more important for something to be global or to be cross-media? Think cyber-social-network-based. spannerworks has revamped the conceptualization of e-businesses. We always extend clicks-and-mortar bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most scalable web applications use far too much J++, and not enough XForms. We will unleash the term "clicks-and-mortar". If you engage mega-transparently, you may have to synergize seamlessly. We will amplify our aptitude to incentivize without decrementing our capability to productize. Without preplanned super-micro-versioning, platforms are forced to become C2C2C. The user communities factor is one-to-one. We frequently embrace sticky bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! spannerworks is the industry leader of synergistic resource-constrained content. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PGP. Imagine a combination of Perl and SMIL. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We will deliver the term "end-to-end". Without well-planned all-hands meetings, deliverables are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to transform "virally"? We will reinvent the term "compelling". Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Python. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think visionary. Think dynamic. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the term "world-class". Imagine a combination of PNG and SVG.