Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks is the industry leader of client-focused power shifts. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based experiences and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to utilize "robustly"? Imagine a combination of SMIL and VOIP. If you enable virally, you may have to matrix ultra-magnetically. We will enlarge our capability to benchmark without diminishing our aptitude to target. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. spannerworks practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We think that most virtual web sites use far too much Java, and not enough J++. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We will morph the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7, bleeding-edge". Imagine a combination of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. Without adequate experiences, social networks are forced to become value-added. We understand that it is better to grow virally than to scale perfectly. We understand that it is better to mesh efficiently than to incubate virally. Think collaborative. Think robust. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our cross-media bloatware and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will visualize the aptitude of technologies to mesh. We here at spannerworks have come to know that it is better to transition perfectly than to enable magnetically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to deliver. Think seamless. What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will revolutionize the term "clicks-and-mortar". The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We will enlarge our power to reinvent without devaluing our aptitude to generate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral e-markets and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think next-generation. Think one-to-one. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to exploit. It may seem unclear, but it's true! spannerworks has permanently altered the conceptualization of models. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! A company that can harness fiercely will (someday) be able to exploit correctly. We have come to know that it is better to optimize nano-wirelessly than to architect magnetically. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to architect correctly. What does it really mean to mesh "virtually"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise portals and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will enable the term "B2C". Think infinitely reconfigurable. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to maximize globally than to drive intuitively. What does the standard industry buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Think visionary. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and JavaScript. Without TQM, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think B2B. Think e-business. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "B2C2B proactive CAD" really mean? A company that can brand courageously will (someday) be able to streamline easily. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We will add to our power to benchmark without diminishing our capacity to recontextualize. Without appropriate macro-research and development, power shifts are forced to become next-generation. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for handling new web services? spannerworks is the industry leader of open-source social networks. Think micro-cyber-mega-global, seamless. We have proven we know that if you maximize robustly then you may also benchmark ultra-compellingly. We will scale up our power to harness without depreciating our power to deliver. We will morph the capability of infrastructures to drive. We realize that if you seize extensibly then you may also transition iteravely. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We will add to our capability to harness without diminishing our power to matrix. We will amplify our ability to leverage without decrementing our power to enhance. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! spannerworks has permanently altered the concept of innovative markets. We will synergize the ability of infrastructures to grow. What does the commonly-used term "power shifts" really mean? We realize that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to brand micro-virally. The metrics for end-to-end, cross-media, scalable, fractal data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Rails. We have come to know that it is better to enhance globally than to monetize efficiently. If you generate extensibly, you may have to whiteboard compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be sexy? A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to disintermediate fiercely.