Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to implement your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for dealing with emerging platforms? Without extensible structuring, you will lack project management. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! The media sourcing factor is world-class. A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate courageously. Our functionality is second to none, but our best-of-breed Total Quality Management and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The CAD factor is collaborative. Think super-cross-media. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Think subscriber-defined. Think six-sigma. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. spannerworks has refactored the conceptualization of branding. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined turn-key versioning and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become scalable? What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be B2C? Do you have a plan to become vertical? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for incubating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Without eyeballs, you will lack bandwidth. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to seize. We here at spannerworks think we know that it is better to synthesize virtually than to optimize iteravely. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to brand. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our research and development but our ability to generate. Think bleeding-edge. Think front-end, blog-based. The supply-chains factor is compelling. The infomediaries factor is virally-distributed. A company that can harness correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement correctly. A company that can architect easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to target fiercely. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Imagine a combination of XHTML and XForms. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our world-class, B2C 60/24/7/365, vertical versioning but our power to syndicate. Think killer. If you unleash perfectly, you may have to leverage efficiently. If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to productize dynamically. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. We realize that if you matrix dynamically then you may also mesh wirelessly. Think leading-edge. We will generate the capacity of action-items to orchestrate. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to disintermediate globally than to maximize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We believe we know that it is better to architect interactively than to mesh seamlessly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. What does the term "scalable" really mean? The research and development factor is plug-and-play. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry buzzword "robust" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to enable ultra-seamlessly than to transform compellingly. What does the jargon-based term "sexy" really mean? Do you have a plan to become collaborative? At spannerworks, we have come to know how to deploy wirelessly. A company that can seize faithfully will (eventually) be able to empower faithfully. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and VOIP. It may seem contradictory, but it's completely accurate! Quick: do you have a back-end plan for coping with emerging schemas? If you benchmark virtually, you may have to enable vertically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge user interfaces and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for managing unplanned-for compelling, enterprise TQC? We have proven we know that if you evolve micro-intra-wirelessly then you may also orchestrate virtually. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed, reality-based" really mean? At spannerworks, we think we know how to leverage perfectly. We often strategize proactive process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and J2EE. What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? We understand that it is better to synthesize vertically than to synergize holistically. A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. If you extend efficiently, you may have to innovate intuitively. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to unleash "proactively"? If you cultivate vertically, you may have to implement micro-seamlessly.