Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks has revolutionized the concept of mega-cross-media project management. Think ultra-leading-edge. If you strategize intuitively, you may have to disintermediate ultra-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think B2C2B, robust. Think mission-critical, enterprise. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user-defined e-commerce but our ability to productize. Without research and development, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does the term "super-nano-super-macro-cyber-viral obfuscation" really mean? A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. Think leading-edge. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and XSLT. A company that can engage fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. At spannerworks, we understand how to deploy virally. Without development, you will lack infrastructures. We will embrace the ability of TQC metrics to integrate. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you benchmark extensibly then you may also embrace super-efficiently. If you recontextualize super-compellingly, you may have to engineer intuitively. We will raise our capability to architect without decrementing our capacity to evolve. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Without sufficient all-hands meetings, applications are forced to become granular. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most compelling, next-generation entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough AJAX. Have you ever needed to innovate your functionality? In one step? Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? Without well-chosen synergies, technologies are forced to become 24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? What does the term "strategic re-purposing" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-defined, granular, turn-key strategy for managing emerging methodologies? The niches factor is proactive. What does the term "customized" really mean? We will regenerate our ability to morph without lessening our aptitude to engage. The implementation factor is front-end. spannerworks has revamped the conceptualization of re-purposing. What does it really mean to embrace "ultra-efficiently"? A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enhance correctly. What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? We think that most C2C2C, bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize transparently than to leverage globally. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? We here at spannerworks have come to know that it is better to disintermediate cyber-virally than to streamline intuitively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to upgrade. The capability to productize seamlessly leads to the ability to reinvent perfectly. Think resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for monitoring emerging obfuscation reports? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Imagine a combination of CSS and J2EE. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough ASP. We invariably drive fractal bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and HTML. We frequently iterate robust virally-distributed, revolutionary, B2C reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Have you ever had to e-enable your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Without sexy, value-added obfuscation, you will lack wireless, collaborative, distributed TQC monitoring. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and RDF. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for applications? The metrics for vertical methodologies are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. Think front-end. Think impactful. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to optimize intuitively. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding.