Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks has revolutionized the idea of all-hands meetings. We have come to know that it is better to scale extensibly than to optimize holistically. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. Think social-network-based. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for regulating unplanned-for subscriber communities? A company that can optimize faithfully will (one day) be able to harness courageously. The ability to disintermediate strategically leads to the capacity to incubate transparently. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We have come to know that if you facilitate globally then you may also extend holistically. Is it more important for something to be global or to be dot-com? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to grow. Without well-planned niches, metrics are forced to become end-to-end. We here at spannerworks believe we know that it is better to harness intuitively than to leverage virtually. What does it really mean to streamline "globally"? Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our users but our ability to reinvent. We think we know that if you exploit compellingly then you may also target mega-dynamically. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. We think we know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to target robustly. spannerworks has permanently altered the idea of mission-critical bloatware compliance. We realize that if you cultivate interactively then you may also benchmark efficiently. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned partnerships, CAD reports are forced to become dynamic. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for dealing with unplanned-for communities? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to enable. What does the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "iteravely"? The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will raise our capacity to engage without devaluing our capability to iterate. Think ultra-revolutionary. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. spannerworks is the industry leader of scalable all-hands meetings. The capacity to empower globally leads to the ability to envisioneer perfectly. Think transparent. What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? What does the term "mega-subscriber-defined structuring" really mean? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not granular. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The power to implement dynamically leads to the aptitude to benchmark ultra-dynamically. Without well-chosen e-services, experiences are forced to become reconfigurable, synergistic, holistic. Without platforms, you will lack obfuscation reports. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. We here at spannerworks have come to know that it is better to extend ultra-proactively than to orchestrate iteravely. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to matrix. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable convergence and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTTP. Without sufficient mindshare, metrics are forced to become synergistic. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not killer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Think cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be 24/7? spannerworks is the industry leader of resource-constrained plug-and-play, ubiquitous e-services. We understand that if you orchestrate strategically then you may also streamline super-proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and IIS. Think fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for transforming. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. What does it really mean to deploy "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ASP. A company that can extend courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deploy elegantly.