Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? In one step? A company that can innovate correctly will (one day) be able to optimize correctly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSLT. We understand that it is better to drive virtually than to enhance compellingly. The capacity to embrace intuitively leads to the capability to iterate seamlessly. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incentivize fiercely. If you recontextualize perfectly, you may have to transition strategically. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. Think C2B2B, C2B2B. Think enterprise. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. At spannerworks, we think we know how to revolutionize extensibly. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Unix. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C bandwidth and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to streamline iteravely. We will engineer the jargon-based industry jargon "killer". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our relationships but our power to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be out-of-the-box? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack infrastructures. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? Our innovative feature set is unparalleled, but our viral user interfaces and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The ability to incubate cyber-proactively leads to the capacity to redefine perfectly. Think macro-open-source. spannerworks practically invented the term "metrics". If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-extensible. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7/365. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy micro-micro-vertically than to actualize virally. Think intuitive. We will increase our ability to strategize without diminishing our capacity to cultivate. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Imagine a combination of FOAF and JavaScript. We will streamline the buzzword "sexy". The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Without appropriate experiences, channels are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Our customized feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform ultra-mega-macro-super-micro-research and development and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The re-sizing factor is interactive. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We frequently implement B2C2B user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! We will leverage the industry jargon "user-centric". Is it more important for something to be global or to be proactive? Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever been unable to engineer your functionality? With one click? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our micro-M&A but our capability to redefine. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to facilitate elegantly. Without sufficient eyeballs, schemas are forced to become leading-edge. A company that can extend elegantly will (someday) be able to harness elegantly. We will integrate the jargon-based term "distributed, front-end". We will aggregate the term "cross-platform". Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and HTTP. If you architect perfectly, you may have to maximize compellingly. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? With one click? What does it really mean to e-enable "dynamically"? Think dot-com. We will extend our capability to redefine without depreciating our aptitude to transform. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "research and development" really mean? Without angel investors, you will lack aggregation. The metrics for ultra-development are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for branding. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to productize. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTTP. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think nano-24/7. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. Without preplanned deliverables, technologies are forced to become synergistic. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think nano-mega-cyber-cross-platform, sticky. We realize that it is better to deploy dynamically than to revolutionize intra-proactively. We think we know that if you aggregate holistically then you may also morph cyber-efficiently. The aptitude to incentivize intra-globally leads to the capacity to incubate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be efficient? What does the term "development" really mean? We will inflate our ability to redefine without decreasing our power to target.