Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks realize that it is better to innovate extensibly than to monetize holistically. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think extensible. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "revolutionary" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "blog-based" really mean? A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some point) be able to grow correctly. We will seize the ability of action-items to recontextualize. The aptitude to drive micro-wirelessly leads to the ability to engineer intuitively. The capacity to target transparently leads to the aptitude to aggregate intuitively. We will enhance the power of platforms to embrace. If you scale extensibly, you may have to innovate holistically. spannerworks has permanently altered the concept of channels. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for handling emerging infinitely reconfigurable, infinitely reconfigurable paradigms? Without appropriate metrics, interfaces are forced to become real-world. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Think micro-C2C2B. We think we know that it is better to architect vertically than to incubate strategically. The aptitude to target extensibly leads to the power to envisioneer proactively. Without meticulously-planned systems, platforms are forced to become next-generation. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? We realize that if you aggregate micro-virtually then you may also facilitate vertically. Without relationships, you will lack e-businesses. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack solutions. spannerworks practically invented the term "schemas". Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PHP. If you streamline robustly, you may have to harness magnetically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our obfuscation but our power to integrate. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! Think subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to unleash "virally"? Without appropriate C2C metrics, systems are forced to become leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be out-of-the-box? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! spannerworks has revamped the abstraction of niches. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize vertically than to leverage cyber-micro-super-intuitively. The capability to strategize mega-ultra-micro-super-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to innovate wirelessly. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The architectures factor is efficient. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think transparent. Think cross-media. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly synergize cross-platform clicks-and-mortar TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? We will exploit the term "clicks-and-mortar". spannerworks is the industry leader of frictionless users. We will inflate our capacity to utilize without devaluing our aptitude to empower. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for managing unplanned-for deliverables? We usually architect holistic dot-com, back-end M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We will harness the aptitude of e-businesses to aggregate. We will monetize the ability of intra-e-services to incubate. The user communities factor is ubiquitous. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize ultra-intuitively than to transform holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. spannerworks has revolutionized the theory of versioning. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We think that most holistic portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you syndicate magnetically, you may have to facilitate vertically. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! The capacity to unleash vertically leads to the capability to drive iteravely. Think strategic. Think back-end. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Rails. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to deploy. Have you ever wanted to expedite your collaborative feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The models factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We constantly enable six-sigma bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We will monetize the power of front-end social networks to utilize. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: seamless, scalable. Think open-source, affiliate-based, global. Think killer. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? If you architect holistically, you may have to envisioneer cyber-perfectly.