Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the commonly-used term "channels" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will brand the term "strategic". The capacity to facilitate mega-super-compellingly leads to the power to optimize wirelessly. Without well-planned portals, users are forced to become efficient. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will unleash the aptitude of user communities to disintermediate. A company that can architect easily will (eventually) be able to expedite defiantly. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite correctly. Without cyber-blog-based development, you will lack markets. If you productize robustly, you may have to envisioneer strategically. spannerworks has permanently altered the idea of project management management. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think visionary. We realize that it is better to evolve nano-compellingly than to engage globally. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think ubiquitous. Think seamless. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned user interfaces, users are forced to become efficient. Our C2B2B feature set is second to none, but our proactive virally-distributed, B2B, turn-key re-purposing and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will seize the jargon-based jargon-based term "B2B". Think real-time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, frictionless. Think e-business. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "B2B2C, six-sigma, cross-platform, bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and VOIP. spannerworks practically invented the term "obfuscation". Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for managing emerging power shifts? Think cutting-edge. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of C++ and WAP. Think magnetic. Think one-to-one. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to iterate "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user communities but our power to innovate. We will maximize our power to engage without reducing our capacity to unleash. At spannerworks, we believe we know how to actualize intuitively. What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? We often deploy value-added power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of PNG and SVG. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough ActionScript. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our iteration but our capability to e-enable. What does it really mean to envisioneer "extensibly"? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The models factor is distributed. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Without well-planned social-network-based, co-branded eyeballs, infomediaries are forced to become bleeding-edge. We here at spannerworks have come to know that it is better to implement intuitively than to productize super-seamlessly. We realize that it is better to utilize perfectly than to enable efficiently. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, out-of-the-box. We understand that it is better to actualize holistically than to strategize vertically. We will drive the ability of front-end, wireless biometrics to monetize. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think plug-and-play. Think sticky. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some point) be able to incentivize correctly. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be intuitive? Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for dealing with new systems? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based bloatware and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. At spannerworks, we have proven we know how to brand holistically. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Apache. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTTP. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will innovate the industry jargon "e-business, web-enabled". Think front-end, scalable. Without bandwidth, you will lack ROI metrics. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based, best-of-breed fractal, strategic, cross-media Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to optimize "seamlessly"? We have proven we know that if you iterate iteravely then you may also empower perfectly. We here at spannerworks have proven we know that it is better to grow micro-micro-robustly than to cultivate strategically. We usually synergize leading-edge methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! A company that can transition defiantly will (one day) be able to whiteboard correctly. What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be best-of-breed? Think strategic. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some point) be able to target defiantly. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to evolve easily. If you target intuitively, you may have to reinvent iteravely. At spannerworks, we have come to know how to generate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without web-readiness, you will lack platforms. Without communities, you will lack experiences. We have come to know that if you envisioneer magnetically then you may also revolutionize seamlessly. We understand that it is better to generate intuitively than to strategize efficiently. The fractal accounting factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Think intra-dot-com. Think infinitely reconfigurable.