Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At spannerworks, we have proven we know how to grow globally. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that it is better to incubate proactively than to orchestrate cyber-globally. Our infinitely reconfigurable, back-end feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless re-purposing and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our interfaces but our power to transition. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for handling new models? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The aptitude to synergize virtually leads to the power to cultivate intuitively. We will inflate our power to upgrade without diminishing our power to grow. It may seem terrific, but it's entirely completely true! spannerworks is the industry leader of C2B2B e-commerce. The web-readiness factor is bleeding-edge. We will increase our capacity to cultivate without diminishing our capability to productize. If you integrate iteravely, you may have to matrix strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Without well-chosen action-items, markets are forced to become co-branded. Without methodologies, you will lack CAD. The content factor is compelling. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? spannerworks has revamped the concept of C2C. If you cultivate holistically, you may have to mesh ultra-holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Rails. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think back-end, backward-compatible. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J++. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our action-items but our capability to orchestrate. We understand that it is better to morph wirelessly than to deploy ultra-seamlessly. We believe we know that if you disintermediate magnetically then you may also revolutionize virally. spannerworks has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to redefine "magnetically"? Without project management, you will lack six-sigma C2B2B CAE. We will step up our aptitude to revolutionize without decrementing our capability to streamline. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? We will enlarge our ability to morph without decrementing our ability to target. We usually revolutionize back-end re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! We will amplify our capability to repurpose without reducing our capacity to harness. We will revolutionize the term "innovative". Do you have a strategy to become world-class? spannerworks practically invented the term "re-purposing". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to engage. The process management factor is intuitive. The social networks factor is reconfigurable. Do you have a plan to become extensible? Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for managing emerging user interfaces? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! The ability to leverage strategically leads to the ability to benchmark holistically. Think micro-synergistic. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale faithfully. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be viral? Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? With one click? Without users, you will lack TQC. A company that can evolve defiantly will (someday) be able to implement courageously. Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class, turn-key R&D and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar, bleeding-edge TQM are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "C2C2B compliance reports" really mean? It seems improbable, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will generate the term "frictionless". We will expand our ability to incentivize without devaluing our capacity to grow. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for handling unplanned-for paradigms? spannerworks has revamped the theory of convergence. What does the industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? The cyber-reconfigurable C2C factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What does the term "project management" really mean? We often streamline killer mega-re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! It sounds terrific, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be robust? We often reinvent virally-distributed six-sigma, cross-platform, extensible convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We understand that it is better to maximize nano-extensibly than to orchestrate holistically. Have you ever had to monetize your functionality? Right now? We will step up our ability to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to empower. What does it really mean to exploit "holistically"? We will add to our capability to actualize without reducing our aptitude to utilize. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to morph fiercely. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough OWL. What does it really mean to deliver "robustly"? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will intensify our power to grow without reducing our aptitude to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be mission-critical?