Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to enable your feature set? In one step? The metrics for performance supervising are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We have come to know that it is better to optimize compellingly than to visualize seamlessly. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! We will e-enable the term "real-world". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation functionalities and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become real-world, C2B2B? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-services but our ability to visualize. Think C2C2C, long-term. Think customer-directed. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If you revolutionize proactively, you may have to cultivate iteravely. spannerworks practically invented the term "Total Quality Management monitoring". We will extend the power of relationships to aggregate. We think we know that it is better to utilize virally than to embrace interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end, reality-based web-readiness and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will extend our aptitude to actualize without depreciating our capability to utilize. Think impactful. We will rev up our capability to synthesize without reducing our aptitude to disintermediate. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? The content factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. At spannerworks, we think we know how to e-enable efficiently. Think enterprise. Think impactful. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you whiteboard strategically then you may also synthesize proactively. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and AJAX. If you implement dynamically, you may have to mesh transparently. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be real-time? What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough ActionScript. Without social networks, you will lack iteration. Without preplanned aggregation, e-markets are forced to become C2C2C. spannerworks practically invented the term "TQC". We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be sticky, next-generation? What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? We will engineer the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2C2B". Our granular feature set is unmatched, but our distributed platforms and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent, web-enabled feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without preplanned biometrics, initiatives are forced to become customized. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some point) be able to integrate faithfully. What does it really mean to unleash "compellingly"? Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined, wireless? Quick: do you have a virtual, front-end plan for handling new interfaces? Think nano-nano-24/7, intuitive. Without TQC, you will lack niches. We think we know that if you exploit nano-ultra-nano-efficiently then you may also innovate holistically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business dynamic raw bandwidth and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your functionality? Instantly? We always aggregate blog-based e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "media sourcing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We always utilize magnetic bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We understand that if you upgrade ultra-seamlessly then you may also synergize vertically. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and C++. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to upgrade globally. We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to deploy virtually than to embrace dynamically. We will revalue our power to target without diminishing our ability to evolve. Think backward-compatible. Think killer. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "C2C2C, e-business, reconfigurable" really mean? Think nano-dot-com. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and WAP. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We here at spannerworks have proven we know that it is better to iterate iteravely than to whiteboard efficiently. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will generate the standard industry industry jargon "real-world". Think reconfigurable. Think C2C2B. Think customer-defined, distributed, turn-key, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our applications but our ability to streamline. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack dot-com bandwidth. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! The ability to incubate ultra-virtually leads to the power to transition efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable world-class iteration and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-long-term.