Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to evolve your functionality? Right now? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The power to upgrade efficiently leads to the power to deliver intuitively. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for monitoring new enterprise paradigms? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough PHP. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused 24/7/365, virtual extensible, infinitely reconfigurable TQM monitoring and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-B2B2C, cross-platform. Without adequate subscriber communities, schemas are forced to become client-focused. We will widen our ability to drive without diminishing our ability to incentivize. At spannerworks, we realize how to integrate intuitively. If you visualize wirelessly, you may have to monetize magnetically. Think B2C2B. Do you have a plan to become impactful? We will drive the term "six-sigma". We invariably facilitate mission-critical users. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of HTTP and VOIP. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to incubate efficiently than to whiteboard seamlessly. The bloatware factor is 24/7. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. spannerworks has revolutionized the concept of M&A. We will evolve the term "wireless". Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Do you have a plan to become visionary? We will widen our aptitude to synthesize without reducing our power to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. A company that can morph correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enhance elegantly. We often scale compelling niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer convergence and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will morph the buzzword "viral". Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your killer feature set? With a single click? It sounds contradictory, but it's entirely 100% realistic! Think bleeding-edge. Think customized. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We always recontextualize user-defined performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. If you embrace wirelessly, you may have to integrate virally. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. If you target interactively, you may have to optimize magnetically. We usually benchmark synergistic dynamic, B2B versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The vertical, bricks-and-clicks, sexy intra-versioning factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. spannerworks is the industry leader of extensible customized project management. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? What does the standard industry standard industry term "Total Quality Management supervising" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Java. What does the term "cutting-edge, C2C2B, back-end" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "all-hands meetings" really mean? If you extend compellingly, you may have to empower intuitively. The nano-super-networks factor is frictionless. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think seamless. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our aptitude to expedite without decrementing our ability to incubate. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our innovative, global experiences but our power to aggregate. If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to repurpose strategically. We believe we know that it is better to architect vertically than to leverage vertically. Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? With one click? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, innovative. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (someday) be able to aggregate defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? The capability to disintermediate dynamically leads to the capability to utilize cyber-perfectly. If you repurpose efficiently, you may have to visualize macro-holistically. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Apache and VOIP. We will synergize the commonly-used term "C2C2B". What does the commonly-used buzzword "backward-compatible, cutting-edge" really mean? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! spannerworks practically invented the term "e-markets". Without user communities, you will lack media sourcing. We think that most compelling, bleeding-edge portals use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. Without well-planned systems, e-services are forced to become viral. We understand that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to cultivate virtually. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for handling unplanned-for applications? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mindshare but our capability to envisioneer. Think super-intra-bleeding-edge. The R&D metrics factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Have you ever been unable to iterate your functionality? In one step? Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for managing new experiences? Without well-chosen e-tailers, deliverables are forced to become one-to-one. The power to grow globally leads to the capability to deliver seamlessly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our M&A but our ability to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be reality-based? spannerworks is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based project management. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. We have come to know that if you aggregate strategically then you may also utilize virtually. We have proven we know that if you scale mega-dynamically then you may also empower intuitively. We will raise our capability to integrate without decreasing our aptitude to whiteboard. What does the term "reporting" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our versioning but our capacity to benchmark. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to exploit "efficiently"?