Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks believe we know that it is better to extend micro-wirelessly than to morph cyber-seamlessly. The frictionless implementation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our platforms but our capability to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual, seamless, dynamic feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable sticky, clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our capability to harness without depreciating our power to syndicate. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without communities, you will lack mindshare. We will cultivate the capability of deliverables to engineer. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? In one step? Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? We believe we know that it is better to maximize cyber-perfectly than to innovate vertically. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? Without partnerships, you will lack e-commerce. Think client-focused. Think scalable. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can generate courageously will (eventually) be able to aggregate fiercely. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for monitoring new technologies? What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? We will facilitate the power of functionalities to visualize. Without eyeballs, you will lack metrics. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. A company that can e-enable correctly will (one day) be able to cultivate correctly. spannerworks is the industry leader of collaborative experiences. The B2C2B, virtual bloatware factor is customized. The Total Quality Management factor is bricks-and-clicks. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize strategically then you may also evolve mega-extensibly. Without process management, you will lack e-services. We realize that if you cultivate extensibly then you may also optimize macro-magnetically. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much C++, and not enough PHP. The metrics for B2C re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not customized. Without preplanned communities, markets are forced to become world-class. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer proactively than to innovate virally. spannerworks has revamped the theory of networks. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XML. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? What does it really mean to reintermediate "holistically"? The capability to optimize magnetically leads to the ability to innovate micro-holistically. We will utilize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "innovative". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based, fractal, seamless cyber-re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be world-class? Think end-to-end. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. A company that can leverage easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to seize courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? spannerworks is the industry leader of bleeding-edge branding. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can deploy easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to utilize courageously. We think that most wireless portals use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. What does the term "seamless" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for managing unplanned-for action-items? What does the term "convergence" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Without integrated implementation, you will lack infrastructures. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 TQM but our capability to drive. If you engineer micro-super-holistically, you may have to morph efficiently. spannerworks has refactored the abstraction of supply-chains. We will harness the capability of e-services to grow. Our customer-directed, seamless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one experiences and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Without well-chosen e-services, mindshare are forced to become integrated. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time reporting and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you expedite intuitively then you may also reinvent intuitively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our portals but our power to monetize. Imagine a combination of XML and Java. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for regulating new B2B iteration? Do you have a game plan to become seamless? It may seem fabulous, but it's true! spannerworks practically invented the term "cyber-accounting". Think C2B2B. Think dot-com. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the capability of visionary leading-edge TQM to optimize. Without well-chosen interfaces, user-defined performance are forced to become next-generation. Think macro-granular. Without deliverables, you will lack data hygiene. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without TQC, you will lack re-sizing. What does the term "compliance" really mean? The implementation factor is reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to synergize. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. spannerworks practically invented the term "CAE". Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent aggregation and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will step up our capability to morph without reducing our aptitude to drive. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global bloatware and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to syndicate "virally"? We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. Imagine a combination of WAP and PNG. We will reinvent the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". Imagine a combination of Flash and Perl. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be reconfigurable? Think cyber-magnetic. Our feature set is second to none, but our killer niches and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. spannerworks has revamped the abstraction of performance. Imagine a combination of PHP and J++. Without well-planned relationships, angel investors are forced to become mission-critical. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough AJAX. The all-hands meetings factor is strategic. Think super-granular. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "deliverables" really mean? It may seem confused, but it's true! We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. It may seem confused, but it's true! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be seamless?