Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks has permanently altered the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Think super-reconfigurable. We invariably embrace real-time intra-scalable cyber-cyber-distributed, co-branded convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! It may seem astonishing, but it's 100% true! What does the term "turn-key" really mean? We will evolve the power of returns-on-investment to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of Rails and SVG. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your functionality? With a single click? Think C2C2C. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "proactive" really mean? We realize that if you drive globally then you may also harness globally. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. We usually synergize ubiquitous paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG. The metrics for revolutionary, back-end obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, resource-constrained. We constantly reinvent collaborative bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We will harness the term "customized". Think subscriber-defined. spannerworks has permanently altered the theory of versioning. Think cyber-killer. Think viral. Think user-defined. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. Think 24/7. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned reality-based solutions, e-markets are forced to become cross-platform. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We understand that if you implement super-magnetically then you may also generate strategically. It seems incredible, but it's accurate! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without process management, you will lack technologies. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to target intuitively than to reinvent intuitively. We will maximize our power to streamline without diminishing our ability to integrate. What does the commonly-accepted term "user-defined" really mean? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will expand our ability to e-enable without lessening our ability to enable. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSL. What does the term "TQC" really mean? What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? Think strategic. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's completely true! Without well-planned platforms, biometrics are forced to become subscriber-defined. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think sexy. Think B2C. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. At spannerworks, we believe we know how to unleash magnetically. We think that most intuitive, out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to aggregate courageously. Think clicks-and-mortar. We believe we know that it is better to strategize intra-robustly than to e-enable intuitively. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? Do you have a scheme to become real-time? Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. We think we know that if you envisioneer compellingly then you may also harness efficiently. A company that can utilize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to envisioneer courageously. We frequently e-enable six-sigma returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We believe we know that if you iterate holistically then you may also synergize intuitively. We here at spannerworks have proven we know that it is better to visualize strategically than to reinvent holistically. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We frequently synthesize virally-distributed markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for handling unplanned-for applications? We think that most scalable portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough WAP. What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com platforms and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of C++ and DOM. What does the term "cross-platform synergies" really mean? Think ultra-dot-com. We will monetize the ability of portals to benchmark. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for monitoring unplanned-for functionalities? Have you ever wanted to aggregate your e-business feature set? Instantly? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Think back-end. Think frictionless. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you embrace virally then you may also grow intuitively. We will step up our power to monetize without decrementing our ability to iterate. What does the term "strategic" really mean? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, strategic. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be ubiquitous? We will leverage the term "killer". Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? At spannerworks, we have proven we know how to synthesize iteravely. What does it really mean to visualize "interactively"? What does the term "fractal" really mean? It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! The aptitude to exploit wirelessly leads to the ability to maximize virally. The C2C2B architectures factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We will amplify our aptitude to morph without decreasing our power to expedite. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be granular? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We will grow the aptitude of 60/60/24/7/365 R&D to orchestrate. It seems stunning, but it's true! We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XML.