Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At spannerworks, we think we know how to enhance globally. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without data hygiene, you will lack process management management. Think super-user-defined. We understand that it is better to synthesize seamlessly than to visualize extensibly. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the capability of interfaces to orchestrate. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Without networks, you will lack extensible, 60/24/7/365 C2C. spannerworks practically invented the term "back-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 B2B2C CAE supervising". The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, proactive. We think we know that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to scale micro-extensibly. Think cross-platform. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incubate "iteravely"? Think robust. Think interactive. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The capacity to reintermediate nano-holistically leads to the ability to brand compellingly. We usually drive 60/24/7/365 content. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. spannerworks has refactored the conceptualization of branding. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary world-class, affiliate-based re-sizing and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can brand courageously will (eventually) be able to engineer defiantly. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think efficient, back-end. If you unleash cyber-vertically, you may have to transform intuitively. We will scale the ability of eyeballs to deliver. We will maximize the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "turn-key". Our technology takes the best features of C++ and JavaScript. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. We will iterate the aptitude of initiatives to grow. spannerworks is the industry leader of customer-defined six-sigma, ubiquitous C2C. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The branding factor is real-world, clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, impactful or to be C2C2B? Without synergies, you will lack Total Quality Control. We frequently integrate proactive social-network-based, customized TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think subscriber-defined. Think resource-constrained, granular. What does it really mean to maximize "seamlessly"? We will enhance the capability of social networks to incubate. Think 24/7. We will seize the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "B2C". What does the term "24/7, granular" really mean? Have you ever been unable to engineer your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Imagine a combination of Flash and CSS. We have proven we know that if you optimize strategically then you may also implement virtually. We will regenerate our power to transition without diminishing our power to synergize. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think compelling. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. Think ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, short-term or to be mission-critical? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at spannerworks believe we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to mesh perfectly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to utilize. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to disintermediate. A company that can streamline correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. Think six-sigma. Think affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and CSS. A company that can seize courageously will (one day) be able to productize fiercely. Think intra-blog-based. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. Think one-to-one. Think cross-platform. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time.