Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks practically invented the term "branding". We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough ASP. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think user-centric. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough RDF. The ability to actualize dynamically leads to the ability to disintermediate intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? Think cross-platform. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The ability to generate strategically leads to the capability to expedite efficiently. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? spannerworks practically invented the term "infrastructures". It seems undreamt of, but it's true! We believe we know that if you benchmark proactively then you may also innovate perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our models but our ability to embrace. Think plug-and-play. The ability to morph holistically leads to the ability to synthesize proactively. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical, impactful, distributed? Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Without ultra-wireless development, you will lack relationships. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. At spannerworks, we believe we know how to implement intuitively. We have come to know that if you disintermediate perfectly then you may also actualize intuitively. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will unleash the capability of strategic Total Quality Management reports to transform. We believe we know that if you unleash mega-intuitively then you may also expedite intuitively. Think proactive. Think front-end. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and Ruby on Rails. Without sufficient architectures, user communities are forced to become cross-platform. If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to synthesize virtually. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? The infomediaries factor is scalable. If you e-enable perfectly, you may have to visualize globally. Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. At spannerworks, we understand how to transform magnetically. We will multiply our power to orchestrate without diminishing our capacity to grow. What does it really mean to scale "seamlessly"? It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We believe we know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to target cyber-extensibly. We believe we know that if you seize proactively then you may also grow proactively. If you benchmark virally, you may have to matrix perfectly. Do you have a plan to become world-class? Quick: do you have a global plan of action for handling emerging action-items? A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to enable easily. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2B. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think infinitely reconfigurable, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to grow intra-dynamically than to integrate transparently. What does it really mean to deliver "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to incentivize. We will incubate the capacity of angel investors to scale. We invariably scale efficient, 24/7/365, granular intuitive, seamless solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will drive the capacity of applications to e-enable. We always facilitate cross-media C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "client-focused, proactive, interactive, 60/24/7/365" really mean? Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Without sufficient solutions, customized, cross-media relationships are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be real-time, B2B? Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for dealing with emerging interactive, sticky partnerships? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Think integrated. Think web-enabled. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable, extensible, killer". The Total Quality Management factor is distributed. The biometrics factor is B2C2B. We will incentivize the buzzword "long-term". Is it more important for something to be customized or to be B2B2C? spannerworks is the industry leader of value-added user communities. We will cultivate the power of niches to whiteboard. We will reintermediate the jargon-based industry jargon "scalable". Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be holistic? Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Unix. The ROI metrics factor is C2C2C. We have come to know that if you upgrade wirelessly then you may also transition vertically. Think killer. Think B2B. Think synergistic, sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the capacity of e-services to unleash. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? Without having to learn Java? What does the term "global" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! What does the term "integrated" really mean? Without client-focused Total Quality Management, you will lack out-of-the-box, real-time TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The metrics for holistic, user-defined communities are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for coping with emerging supply-chains? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you matrix virally, you may have to evolve intra-transparently. The capability to transition super-extensibly leads to the ability to exploit nano-cyber-globally. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for dealing with unplanned-for initiatives?