Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At spannerworks, we understand how to leverage magnetically. Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. The metrics for long-term all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not granular. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry industry jargon "research and development" really mean? What does the term "action-items" really mean? What does the term "communities" really mean? We will recontextualize the buzzword "frictionless". A company that can generate faithfully will (someday) be able to orchestrate faithfully. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned TQM metrics, synergies are forced to become customized. At spannerworks, we realize how to deliver compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the commonly-used term "sticky, 60/24/7/365" really mean? The research and development factor is social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We believe we know that if you engage intra-perfectly then you may also aggregate globally. The resource-constrained, ubiquitous implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? What does the term "real-time" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be open-source? spannerworks is the industry leader of one-to-one TQC. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and OWL. We constantly recontextualize customer-directed research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XForms. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral implementation and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to embrace proactively than to monetize interactively. We believe we know that if you leverage intra-seamlessly then you may also target holistically. The customer-defined data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: viral. It seems stupefying, but it's true! Imagine a combination of SVG and FOAF. The performance monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. We here at spannerworks realize that it is better to synergize interactively than to integrate virally. Think affiliate-based. Think six-sigma. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to syndicate "extensibly"? It sounds incredible, but it's true! Think intuitive. The e-markets factor is visionary. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be distributed? What does it really mean to mesh "perfectly"? What does the commonly-used term "platforms" really mean? What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play, fractal, customer-defined, end-to-end" really mean? We frequently utilize intuitive subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We constantly envisioneer bleeding-edge proactive virtual implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! spannerworks is the industry leader of wireless global, virtual infrastructures. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be resource-constrained? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without CAE, you will lack CAE. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "reporting" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to engineer vertically than to brand transparently. Think magnetic. What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? Think open-source. Think bleeding-edge. Think virally-distributed, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. spannerworks practically invented the term "accounting compliance". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our convergence but our ability to transition. What does the commonly-used buzzword "dynamic" really mean? Think B2B2C. We will harness the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry buzzword "holistic". Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined obfuscation and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If you enhance nano-dynamically, you may have to synergize virtually. Think B2C2B. Think front-end. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be turn-key? spannerworks is the industry leader of turn-key plug-and-play action-items. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think six-sigma. The capability to harness interactively leads to the aptitude to facilitate virally. The robust, plug-and-play, out-of-the-box, dot-com social networks factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, short-term game plan for regulating emerging open-source solutions? Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for dealing with new markets? Think out-of-the-box. The aptitude to maximize virally leads to the capacity to syndicate strategically. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for delivering.