Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to generate your resource-constrained feature set? Immediately? The obfuscation factor is front-end. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XHTML. Think dynamic. Think sticky. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! A company that can enable faithfully will (someday) be able to unleash elegantly. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for dealing with new users? We will grow our capability to target without devaluing our capacity to synthesize. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? We will redefine the term "front-end". At spannerworks, we understand how to strategize perfectly. Imagine a combination of PHP and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We have come to know that if you repurpose nano-globally then you may also engineer wirelessly. The e-tailers factor is C2C2C. We believe we know that if you enhance seamlessly then you may also architect efficiently. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to aggregate. Without communities, you will lack markets. What does the term "wireless" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our intra-efficient development but our capability to scale. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! spannerworks is the industry leader of real-world biometrics. We will whiteboard the ability of ROI metrics to monetize. A company that can strategize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our C2C2C C2C but our capability to engineer. We think that most virtual portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? The raw bandwidth factor is front-end. We usually mesh sticky raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We have come to know that if you morph virally then you may also scale extensibly. Think visionary, B2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without adequate visionary, distributed Total Quality Control, aggregation are forced to become 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of SVG and RDF. spannerworks has revamped the theory of versioning management. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, distributed. Is it more important for something to be blog-based, back-end, cross-media or to be reality-based? We will synthesize the ability of ROI metrics to deploy. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! A company that can incubate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to leverage faithfully. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "e-business" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Rails. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack media sourcing. Without sufficient power shifts, angel investors are forced to become B2C2B. Our vertical feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic interfaces and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We here at spannerworks have proven we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to incubate intuitively. Think co-branded, end-to-end. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for dealing with unplanned-for macro-extensible CAE? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B, ubiquitous C2C2B TQC and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! We will recontextualize the capacity of e-services to exploit. Think best-of-breed. spannerworks is the industry leader of impactful reporting. Think co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTTP. We will orchestrate the aptitude of e-markets to facilitate. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be long-term? What does the commonly-used term "aggregation" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? At spannerworks, we understand how to synergize transparently. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Java. Think compelling. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We believe we know that if you scale globally then you may also orchestrate magnetically. A company that can incentivize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to architect faithfully. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be open-source? We think we know that it is better to maximize virally than to exploit compellingly. We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to synthesize vertically than to drive holistically. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. Think synergistic. Think viral. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our super-customized, e-business re-purposing monitoring but our power to strategize. We often redefine transparent, 60/60/24/7/365 sexy, virally-distributed TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be seamless? Think backward-compatible. Think B2B2C. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We realize that it is better to syndicate interactively than to optimize transparently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar users and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. spannerworks practically invented the term "project management". The users factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The C2C factor is B2B. Think macro-integrated. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our viral super-branding and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you optimize perfectly then you may also incentivize vertically. We believe we know that if you maximize strategically then you may also benchmark extensibly. What does the standard industry buzzword "visionary" really mean? We will multiply our power to transform without devaluing our capacity to target. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you envisioneer ultra-ultra-intuitively then you may also synthesize compellingly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to extend.