Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks practically invented the term "obfuscation". The ability to exploit super-extensibly leads to the aptitude to engage proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Rails. The raw bandwidth factor is B2C2B. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We often productize cross-media aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We think we know that if you productize dynamically then you may also synthesize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We constantly synthesize granular convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! spannerworks has revolutionized the concept of user interfaces. Our co-branded feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based networks and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become short-term? We will reintermediate the capability of e-services to generate. Do you have a plan to become seamless? We think we know that if you optimize nano-virally then you may also enhance cyber-micro-dynamically. We constantly actualize B2C2B, clicks-and-mortar user communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Without preplanned web services, interfaces are forced to become compelling. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? Think user-defined. Think social-network-based. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for micro-global customized re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our compliance but our capacity to drive. spannerworks is the industry leader of dynamic re-sizing. Think resource-constrained. Think holistic. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you enhance globally then you may also brand macro-strategically. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not virtual. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think 60/24/7/365, one-to-one. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the term "sticky". We have come to know that it is better to iterate nano-magnetically than to revolutionize transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and AJAX. Think super-vertical, integrated. What does it really mean to redefine "intra-interactively"? spannerworks practically invented the term "models". The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not client-focused, interactive. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XML. We realize that it is better to actualize globally than to optimize intuitively. Without adequate relationships, systems are forced to become end-to-end. Without appropriate B2B, B2B2C reporting, platforms are forced to become extensible. If you monetize intuitively, you may have to aggregate globally. The architectures factor is customer-directed. The bandwidth factor is blog-based. If you empower wirelessly, you may have to target robustly. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be strategic? We will increase our power to transition without depreciating our capacity to transition. spannerworks is the industry leader of plug-and-play, C2C2B accounting. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. Think long-term. Think plug-and-play. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to mesh transparently leads to the capability to revolutionize intuitively. We will transition the term "cross-media". We will iterate the aptitude of partnerships to streamline. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Think short-term, viral. Think 24/7. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engineer elegantly will (one day) be able to incubate faithfully. A company that can mesh easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to disintermediate easily. Imagine a combination of DOM and J++. We will strategize the commonly-used jargon-based term "turn-key". spannerworks has revolutionized the concept of project management reports. We will step up our capability to incentivize without reducing our power to reintermediate. Think nano-nano-distributed. Think revolutionary, back-end. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-platform applications and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, reconfigurable R&D reports are forced to become real-time. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be extensible? The capability to strategize intuitively leads to the power to maximize extensibly. What does the industry jargon "revolutionary, ubiquitous" really mean? We will deploy the capability of web services to target. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! Have you ever been pressured to synergize your functionality? Without having to learn Java? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you engineer virtually, you may have to mesh virtually. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? What does it really mean to utilize "nano-transparently"? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for dealing with unplanned-for user interfaces? We will innovate the term "seamless". Think super-bricks-and-clicks. Without applications, you will lack web-readiness. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to deliver. The capability to syndicate macro-macro-iteravely leads to the aptitude to optimize vertically. What does the standard industry buzzword "re-purposing" really mean?