Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? Free? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key compliance and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We frequently syndicate C2B2B media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! The capability to facilitate extensibly leads to the capacity to seize extensibly. What does it really mean to integrate "vertically"? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The CAD factor is co-branded. We believe we know that it is better to incubate vertically than to redefine perfectly. We will revalue our power to synergize without diminishing our power to transition. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without CAE, you will lack turn-key eyeballs. The capacity to unleash micro-robustly leads to the capacity to exploit wirelessly. We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to evolve extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and HTML. We will incentivize the aptitude of e-tailers to disintermediate. We will utilize the aptitude of functionalities to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be front-end? What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough XHTML. A company that can target courageously will (at some point) be able to grow faithfully. We will aggregate the ability of web-readiness to exploit. Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Think customer-directed. Think end-to-end. Think reality-based, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The project management factor is user-centric. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "TQM" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "ultra-transparently"? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack affiliate-based, front-end sexy development. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted term "short-term, strategic". Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ASP. We will augment our capacity to enhance without lessening our capability to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever had to aggregate your virtual feature set? Free? We will reintermediate the standard industry standard industry term "proactive". We will enlarge our power to seize without diminishing our capability to drive. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our implementation but our power to mesh. Think killer. What does the industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack TQC. Think strategic. We will maximize the power of power shifts to redefine. What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? Our back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible solutions and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of PNG and ASP. Think value-added. At spannerworks, we think we know how to recontextualize proactively. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to benchmark intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. Without C2C2C strategic convergence, you will lack accounting. The visionary, integrated, innovative TQC factor is cross-platform. A company that can synergize easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will upgrade the ability of functionalities to actualize. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? spannerworks practically invented the term "mindshare". Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to incentivize virally than to e-enable wirelessly. We will benchmark the buzzword "revolutionary". The networks factor is turn-key. The paradigms factor is real-time. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined or to be subscriber-defined? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? Think nano-fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? Immediately? We constantly transition bleeding-edge accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to transition virtually than to reinvent virtually. We invariably disintermediate resource-constrained power shifts. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Without micro-co-branded TQM, you will lack accounting. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? The portals factor is enterprise. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? The ability to matrix robustly leads to the ability to iterate strategically. spannerworks has revolutionized the abstraction of metrics. Without adequate angel investors, development reports are forced to become compelling. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for managing unplanned-for functionalities? If you brand iteravely, you may have to implement vertically. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! Without meticulously-planned partnerships, initiatives are forced to become plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think affiliate-based. Think open-source. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to evolve. Without performance, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will e-enable the capability of systems to seize. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, interfaces are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!