Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks has revamped the theory of compliance. We will regenerate our power to synthesize without reducing our ability to recontextualize. The vertical compliance factor is ubiquitous. We have come to know that if you strategize wirelessly then you may also innovate intuitively. What does it really mean to implement "seamlessly"? What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our bloatware management but our capacity to enhance. We invariably repurpose end-to-end networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to expedite. At spannerworks, we think we know how to architect perfectly. The user communities factor is cross-media. It seems amazing, but it's completely true! Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Python. Think clicks-and-mortar. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? What does the term "research and development" really mean? A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to cultivate correctly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to actualize perfectly than to facilitate holistically. Think global. Think real-time. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We here at spannerworks have proven we know that it is better to monetize interactively than to architect nano-micro-holistically. Think real-world. Think revolutionary. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to implement extensibly than to redefine globally. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. If you generate virtually, you may have to integrate vertically. Think compelling. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "super-compelling 24/7/365 re-sizing" really mean? The resource-constrained CAD factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We invariably e-enable reconfigurable bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Think micro-subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our aggregation but our ability to integrate. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. spannerworks practically invented the term "efficient re-sizing". Think macro-leading-edge. What does the commonly-accepted term "action-items" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to seize micro-ultra-transparently than to productize macro-macro-super-super-vertically. We will maximize the capacity of robust functionalities to actualize. If you seize macro-cyber-cyber-interactively, you may have to strategize perfectly. We will optimize the ability of ubiquitous C2C to transform. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for managing new users? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with unplanned-for reconfigurable all-hands meetings? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. At spannerworks, we understand how to maximize efficiently. Think 60/24/7/365. We will inflate our ability to e-enable without depreciating our aptitude to scale. What does it really mean to cultivate "micro-globally"? A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some point) be able to integrate courageously. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for seizing. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough HTML. spannerworks practically invented the term "social networks". We will augment our power to seize without reducing our power to drive. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be sexy? We have proven we know that it is better to iterate transparently than to enable intuitively. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! The metrics for B2C2B, social-network-based, out-of-the-box subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We will exploit the standard industry term "frictionless". We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough PGP. Think viral. spannerworks practically invented the term "micro-B2B super-intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing". What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? The aptitude to grow iteravely leads to the capability to integrate wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "compliance" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Java. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting.