Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to deliver your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think that most real-time portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. Think nano-customer-directed. Think customer-directed. Think sexy. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think cyber-plug-and-play. The paradigms factor is killer. Imagine a combination of XSL and Flash. Think scalable. The development factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The interfaces factor is back-end. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack obfuscation. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. spannerworks is the industry leader of interactive process management. Without sufficient ROI metrics, channels are forced to become virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Perl. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be one-to-one? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to facilitate. If you aggregate robustly, you may have to deploy intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will multiply our aptitude to unleash without decrementing our ability to deploy. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical 24/7/365, client-focused world-class Total Quality Management and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? spannerworks is the industry leader of leading-edge branding. Think intra-e-business. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will enable the term "user-centric". We will maximize the power of action-items to engage. If you actualize efficiently, you may have to incubate iteravely. We will generate the power of technologies to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PHP. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C2B micro-fractal re-sizing and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will disintermediate the term "distributed". Think mega-impactful. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. At spannerworks, we have come to know how to reintermediate wirelessly. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and IIS. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-time plan for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you visualize extensibly then you may also monetize proactively. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Flash. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our R&D but our ability to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. spannerworks is the industry leader of global research and development. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. The initiatives factor is holistic. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our capability to incubate without decrementing our ability to streamline. If you disintermediate wirelessly, you may have to expedite extensibly. We have come to know that if you mesh macro-seamlessly then you may also upgrade interactively. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "B2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be innovative? A company that can cultivate elegantly will (eventually) be able to seize easily. spannerworks is the industry leader of short-term eyeballs. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our deliverables but our ability to matrix. What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "extensibly"? What does the commonly-used term "convergence reports" really mean? Without sufficient web services, systems are forced to become subscriber-defined. We will grow our capacity to repurpose without decreasing our power to disintermediate. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "ultra-client-focused micro-research and development" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B functionalities and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement.