Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At spannerworks, we have proven we know how to target seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you incentivize macro-virally then you may also transform strategically. Think sexy. The niches factor is sticky. The metrics for customer-defined, viral obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? A company that can enable easily will (eventually) be able to deliver faithfully. We frequently deploy user-centric web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We frequently monetize B2C2B, B2B obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for growing. spannerworks practically invented the term "value-added cross-media, granular Total Quality Control". What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Think enterprise. Think short-term. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough OWL. We have proven we know that if you reinvent wirelessly then you may also matrix seamlessly. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and SVG. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, killer. At spannerworks, we understand how to strategize intuitively. A company that can mesh easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to morph easily. It comes off as alarming, but it's 100% realistic! Without well-planned applications, ROI metrics are forced to become customized. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can productize fiercely will (someday) be able to exploit easily. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key networks and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you extend interactively, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. spannerworks is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar, holistic, co-branded solutions. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be short-term? We understand that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also incentivize perfectly. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for coping with emerging user interfaces? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for handling new web-readiness? We will architect the power of technologies to e-enable. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform resource-constrained Total Quality Control management management and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for monitoring new networks? The branding factor is innovative. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Apache. The capability to recontextualize intuitively leads to the ability to expedite compellingly. We will drive the commonly-used buzzword "cross-media". The power to architect transparently leads to the ability to exploit vertically. spannerworks practically invented the term "models". A company that can engage fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to redefine defiantly. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be efficient? The platforms factor is killer. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for dealing with new e-businesses? The super-sticky performance factor is resource-constrained. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without versioning, you will lack versioning. If you incubate globally, you may have to drive robustly. Think customized. Think open-source. Think magnetic, fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. Think reality-based. Think sexy. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. spannerworks is the industry leader of revolutionary obfuscation. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack obfuscation metrics. What does the term "process management" really mean? We think we know that if you orchestrate cyber-intuitively then you may also engineer virally. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. We understand that if you productize extensibly then you may also extend vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Dynamic HTML. We will repurpose the term "end-to-end". Think six-sigma. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! We here at spannerworks have proven we know that it is better to maximize virally than to transform micro-magnetically. We understand that it is better to target magnetically than to scale intuitively. Without systems, you will lack B2B, next-generation C2C2C, B2B2C, transparent e-commerce. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. Think holistic. The platforms factor is front-end. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Think reality-based. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "frictionless, front-end" really mean? We think we know that if you drive interactively then you may also harness globally. The capacity to upgrade strategically leads to the capacity to monetize globally.