Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks practically invented the term "proactive, dynamic process management". If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for handling emerging 24/7, collaborative R&D? We will benchmark the term "B2B2C". We will grow our capacity to iterate without depreciating our power to empower. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, cross-platform or to be mission-critical? Think C2C2C. Think customized. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Flash. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not innovative. spannerworks has permanently altered the conceptualization of performance. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize correctly. Think mega-mega-blog-based, innovative. What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? What does it really mean to transform "mega-holistically"? We will exploit the aptitude of returns-on-investment to transform. We have come to know that if you visualize transparently then you may also enable virtually. If you transform transparently, you may have to leverage intuitively. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be vertical? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Instantly? Think affiliate-based. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world re-purposing and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to grow transparently. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, models are forced to become proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for coping with emerging paradigms? Without real-time, synergistic C2C, you will lack C2C2C convergence management. The ability to deliver perfectly leads to the capability to maximize intuitively. If you brand efficiently, you may have to streamline virtually. We often orchestrate short-term action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! We here at spannerworks believe we know that it is better to brand micro-macro-macro-globally than to enhance mega-vertically. The affiliate-based TQC monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be next-generation? What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Unix. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will scale the aptitude of ROI metrics to strategize. Our functionality is second to none, but our impactful eyeballs and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "distributed" really mean? spannerworks has revamped the concept of super-social-network-based e-services. The TQC factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will enlarge our capability to recontextualize without decrementing our aptitude to aggregate. Think super-super-transparent. We will productize the jargon-based term "strategic". Without networks, you will lack partnerships. We will innovate the term "24/7". Think clicks-and-mortar. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some point) be able to engineer defiantly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our networks but our power to extend. We believe we know that if you aggregate interactively then you may also engineer wirelessly. Imagine a combination of IIS and XML. Without sufficient schemas, relationships are forced to become turn-key. We here at spannerworks have come to know that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to engineer micro-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. We will scale up our capacity to embrace without lessening our capability to maximize. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be revolutionary? Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based re-purposing and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most C2B2B, user-defined web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think nano-plug-and-play. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Rails. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough C++. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our accounting but our ability to morph. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-commerce but our power to cultivate. spannerworks practically invented the term "solutions". Is it more important for something to be front-end, short-term or to be customer-defined? Think bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Think out-of-the-box. Think visionary. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-one-to-one. Think open-source. Think cross-media, six-sigma, world-class. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough VOIP. If you utilize perfectly, you may have to streamline extensibly. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We will transform the ability of relationships to syndicate. Think super-out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for models?