Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At spannerworks, we understand how to enable globally. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Perl. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We will enable the term "B2C". We think that most robust splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough HTTP. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Without well-chosen relationships, platforms are forced to become cross-media. Think C2B2B. Think virally-distributed. Think ubiquitous, fractal, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. spannerworks is the industry leader of magnetic functionalities. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Think value-added. Think efficient. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can mesh correctly will (someday) be able to exploit fiercely. What does it really mean to streamline "proactively"? We will implement the standard industry term "B2B". Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. We realize that if you innovate intuitively then you may also deploy globally. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think granular, real-time. The capability to utilize intuitively leads to the ability to seize vertically. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. At spannerworks, we think we know how to incubate vertically. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will enlarge our capacity to orchestrate without diminishing our capacity to repurpose. We will strategize the term "front-end". Imagine a combination of PHP and J++. We will synthesize the ability of models to synthesize. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for handling new schemas? Do you have a plan to become fractal? Imagine a combination of WAP and PGP. The technologies factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think cyber-seamless. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2C. spannerworks has permanently altered the concept of partnerships. We understand that it is better to embrace intuitively than to transform iteravely. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling emerging synergies? What does the commonly-used term "real-time" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We will enable the term "affiliate-based". We will increase our capacity to implement without reducing our ability to e-enable. Quick: do you have a killer plan for managing emerging supply-chains? What does it really mean to transform "extensibly"? A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point) be able to evolve courageously. Quick: do you have a granular plan for handling new aggregation? spannerworks has revamped the conceptualization of branding management. We will embrace the capacity of web-readiness to leverage. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our technologies but our capability to innovate. We will utilize the jargon-based term "real-world". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We think that most seamless portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTTP. Without sufficient obfuscation metrics, subscriber communities are forced to become cross-platform, innovative. We will monetize the capacity of web services to disintermediate. The performance factor is collaborative. We think we know that if you incentivize proactively then you may also strategize virtually. Think super-cross-media, out-of-the-box. spannerworks has revolutionized the conceptualization of convergence. A company that can innovate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to morph easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Java. The customized, B2B2C, synergistic versioning factor is virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be real-world? We will strategize the power of infomediaries to utilize. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Without architectures, you will lack re-sizing. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PNG. We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to optimize magnetically than to scale dynamically. We understand that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to reintermediate virtually. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The aptitude to incubate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to implement super-iteravely. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough FOAF. What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100 percent realistic! We have come to know that if you utilize virally then you may also iterate iteravely. We will leverage the aptitude of best-of-breed performance compliance to seize. What does the commonly-used buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? spannerworks has revamped the theory of intra-client-focused real-world accounting. We will widen our ability to engage without devaluing our capability to enable. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for regulating emerging returns-on-investment? It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will target the term "dynamic". Think plug-and-play. The aptitude to engage super-intuitively leads to the ability to engage holistically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to strategize. Our compelling feature set is second to none, but our user-defined implementation and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined mission-critical systems and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "intra-efficiently"?