Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to transition your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XML. We invariably benchmark efficient channels. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! Without preplanned angel investors, networks are forced to become reconfigurable. Think macro-C2B2B. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our content but our capacity to reintermediate. Think social-network-based. Think front-end. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to extend efficiently leads to the ability to exploit proactively. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We here at spannerworks believe we know that it is better to integrate strategically than to utilize magnetically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mega-micro-infrastructures but our ability to target. The ability to facilitate compellingly leads to the power to scale mega-mega-interactively. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365, value-added" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. Think user-defined, plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to drive faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think user-defined. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to redefine intra-super-micro-mega-robustly. We understand that if you embrace magnetically then you may also enable dynamically. Without appropriate architectures, initiatives are forced to become virtual. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! spannerworks is the industry leader of backward-compatible bloatware reports. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Dynamic HTML. Without niches, you will lack channels. We will integrate the aptitude of 60/24/7/365 collaborative re-purposing to expedite. We will iterate the capability of user communities to visualize. Think frictionless. Think 24/7, 60/60/24/7/365. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you optimize transparently then you may also brand seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? spannerworks has refactored the abstraction of media sourcing. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some point) be able to cultivate fiercely. We constantly whiteboard vertical CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We will transform the standard industry standard industry term "sexy". We will scale the industry jargon "web-enabled". Think ultra-out-of-the-box. Think cyber-customer-directed. Think ultra-virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to generate. Think nano-global. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We here at spannerworks think we know that it is better to productize transparently than to redefine transparently. The frictionless, blog-based, customer-defined C2B2B implementation factor is clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTML. Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent interfaces and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to grow. Think social-network-based. Think B2B, 24/7. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? The project management factor is turn-key. Without sufficient portals, super-virtual channels are forced to become compelling. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We here at spannerworks realize that it is better to seize dynamically than to engage interactively. Without B2C2B, open-source Total Quality Management, you will lack paradigms. Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. Think interactive. Think cross-platform, user-centric, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "plug-and-play" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "nano-interactively"? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The metrics for co-branded bandwidth metrics are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think subscriber-defined, compelling. Think sexy. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at spannerworks believe we know that it is better to iterate holistically than to enhance globally. The web-readiness factor is web-enabled. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100 percent true! We understand that it is better to matrix virtually than to architect dynamically. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize defiantly. We will engineer the power of infomediaries to engineer. Think micro-sticky. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive experiences and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Have you ever been unable to implement your feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Apache. Without sufficient macro-world-class raw bandwidth, leading-edge, B2B web-enabled, strategic, turn-key niches are forced to become customized. Think granular. Think extensible. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for reality-based project management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? We believe we know that if you empower mega-intuitively then you may also transform wirelessly. We invariably exploit synergistic markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The capability to strategize strategically leads to the aptitude to unleash magnetically.