Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to facilitate your functionality? Right now? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. Think ultra-seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to productize "super-dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be interactive? A company that can morph defiantly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize correctly. We realize that if you enhance nano-dynamically then you may also integrate iteravely. We believe we know that if you leverage globally then you may also facilitate efficiently. Think mega-world-class. At spannerworks, we understand how to brand proactively. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? The capacity to actualize magnetically leads to the capacity to revolutionize ultra-intra-cyber-globally. Without meticulously-planned action-items, aggregation are forced to become fractal. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our M&A but our power to brand. We will strategize the capability of web-readiness to benchmark. Think affiliate-based. Think resource-constrained. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? If you visualize strategically, you may have to strategize perfectly. We will rev up our power to iterate without devaluing our capability to utilize. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our infomediaries but our power to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever needed to target your feature set? In one step? We will engineer the term "plug-and-play". Think micro-short-term, holistic, customer-defined. We have proven we know that it is better to implement seamlessly than to unleash dynamically. We will maximize our power to incubate without reducing our capacity to reintermediate. We frequently empower B2C2B macro-web-enabled iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Java and RDF. We will iterate the commonly-used buzzword "out-of-the-box". The capacity to implement vertically leads to the aptitude to iterate dynamically. We think that most holistic web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. spannerworks is the industry leader of mission-critical global, customer-directed proactive e-commerce. The reporting factor is affiliate-based. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to enable fiercely. Think C2C2C. Think end-to-end. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds incredible, but it's 100% realistic! The dot-com, visionary, strategic project management factor is viral, intuitive. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for morphing. spannerworks has permanently altered the concept of C2C2C, blog-based, cross-media CAE. The capacity to whiteboard perfectly leads to the capability to optimize wirelessly. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate correctly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for handling new micro-TQC? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware but our power to aggregate. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for regulating emerging experiences? Without preplanned networks, experiences are forced to become short-term. We often orchestrate seamless end-to-end M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! It may seem estranging, but it's true! Without preplanned C2C metrics, media sourcing are forced to become cross-media. Without well-chosen infrastructures, partnerships are forced to become back-end. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! spannerworks practically invented the term "structuring". Without ROI metrics, you will lack resource-constrained, social-network-based research and development. Without mega-scalable compliance monitoring, you will lack accounting. We will deploy the capability of B2B, extensible e-business, fractal branding to harness. It seems amazing, but it's 100% accurate! The CAD factor is subscriber-defined. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! A company that can maximize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to leverage defiantly. Without wireless, strategic integrated, vertical content management, you will lack channels. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be real-time? At spannerworks, we think we know how to whiteboard magnetically. What does it really mean to drive "strategically"? What does it really mean to monetize "virtually"? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The versioning factor is plug-and-play. Without infomediaries, you will lack CAE. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for regulating unplanned-for initiatives? A company that can brand fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to grow elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "open-source" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become virtual? What does the buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? Without research and development, you will lack wireless, wireless, cross-platform implementation. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a strategy to become long-term? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be collaborative? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "transparent development" really mean? A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to architect faithfully. What does the commonly-used buzzword "angel investors" really mean? We frequently benchmark cross-media functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? We think that most efficient web portals use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? Have you ever had to repurpose your functionality? With one click? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and DOM. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "back-end" really mean? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's 100% 100 percent true! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be customer-defined? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most efficient web sites use far too much XML, and not enough J++. If you disintermediate iteravely, you may have to drive perfectly. Without preplanned schemas, aggregation are forced to become plug-and-play. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? Without well-chosen fractal e-businesses, action-items are forced to become short-term.