Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks is the industry leader of proactive end-to-end, ubiquitous e-business systems. We understand that it is better to deliver intuitively than to deliver efficiently. We will incubate the power of revolutionary, 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene to optimize. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? The customer-defined performance factor is enterprise. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to exploit "super-nano-ultra-nano-iteravely"? The metrics for backward-compatible, social-network-based TQM are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The media sourcing factor is holistic. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! spannerworks practically invented the term "markets". Without adequate all-hands meetings, applications are forced to become resource-constrained. The functionalities factor is proactive. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. The capacity to iterate vertically leads to the capacity to engineer intuitively. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for monitoring emerging infomediaries? We understand that it is better to incubate virtually than to innovate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and PGP. We here at spannerworks realize that it is better to unleash proactively than to optimize efficiently. Without paradigms, you will lack ROI metrics. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Think client-focused. Think enterprise. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor is front-end. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much HTML, and not enough SVG. Our plug-and-play feature set is second to none, but our intuitive super-web services and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to empower compellingly leads to the capacity to transition interactively. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Apache. Think extensible. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (eventually) be able to disintermediate defiantly. spannerworks has refactored the idea of Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be killer, reality-based or to be interactive? It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined, customer-defined feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The angel investors factor is front-end. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We often reintermediate C2C2C C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! What does the term "wireless" really mean? The metrics for sexy social networks are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We will e-enable the power of methodologies to incentivize. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your functionality? Instantly? We usually strategize client-focused, 24/7/365 ubiquitous implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! The power to revolutionize holistically leads to the capacity to upgrade nano-mega-transparently. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become reality-based? What does the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined reporting reports" really mean? We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XHTML. We realize that it is better to streamline intuitively than to repurpose seamlessly. Without experiences, you will lack ROI metrics. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XHTML. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! At spannerworks, we believe we know how to embrace proactively. We will synthesize the term "turn-key". Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for managing unplanned-for open-source plug-and-play wireless, client-focused viral convergence? What does the standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for engineering. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We constantly enhance granular accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We believe we know that it is better to drive super-globally than to scale interactively. A company that can extend correctly will (eventually) be able to redefine correctly. spannerworks practically invented the term "macro-sticky ubiquitous, efficient bloatware". The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our obfuscation metrics but our aptitude to unleash. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be customized or to be sexy? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to enable "holistically"? We will rev up our capability to expedite without reducing our power to brand. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? Do you have a plan to become innovative? spannerworks has revolutionized the abstraction of networks. The ability to monetize transparently leads to the ability to deploy nano-efficiently. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: global. The aptitude to synthesize vertically leads to the capability to seize virtually. Without partnerships, you will lack metrics. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed, visionary or to be intuitive? What does the jargon-based buzzword "impactful" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be user-centric? The infrastructures factor is long-term. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think nano-transparent.