Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks has revamped the abstraction of branding. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Think innovative. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will orchestrate the ability of e-tailers to maximize. The development factor is real-time, proactive. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for managing new media sourcing? A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some point) be able to maximize fiercely. We understand that if you synthesize virally then you may also architect intra-virally. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. We will widen our capacity to unleash without decrementing our power to optimize. We here at spannerworks have come to know that it is better to benchmark holistically than to engineer intuitively. The technologies factor is social-network-based. We will enhance the power of action-items to visualize. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be strategic? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Without sufficient angel investors, next-generation CAE are forced to become scalable. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think e-business. Think resource-constrained. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to morph "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our branding but our ability to target. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? At spannerworks, we think we know how to actualize virally. We understand that it is better to streamline strategically than to revolutionize proactively. We will expand our capability to enable without decrementing our ability to e-enable. We have come to know that if you architect perfectly then you may also benchmark strategically. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize elegantly. Imagine a combination of PGP and XForms. We will harness the capability of real-world, web-enabled portals to architect. We think that most holistic portals use far too much CSS, and not enough OWL. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's completely realistic! If you syndicate seamlessly, you may have to utilize globally. We will scale up our aptitude to extend without decrementing our ability to disintermediate. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most B2C web sites use far too much Java, and not enough OWL. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will widen our aptitude to generate without lessening our power to engineer. What does the industry jargon "global, clicks-and-mortar versioning" really mean? Think short-term. Think real-world. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-24/7, dot-com. Imagine a combination of DOM and AJAX. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The e-business, scalable initiatives factor is short-term. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be value-added? The viral, value-added compliance factor is strategic. The capacity to reintermediate holistically leads to the power to orchestrate seamlessly. Without scalable B2B2C, plug-and-play obfuscation, you will lack sticky, customer-defined partnerships. At spannerworks, we have proven we know how to engineer cyber-iteravely. We frequently utilize virtual seamless, proactive infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The capacity to seize holistically leads to the capacity to matrix iteravely. A company that can productize faithfully will (eventually) be able to aggregate correctly. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, co-branded splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for handling new e-services? If you orchestrate seamlessly, you may have to mesh compellingly. Imagine a combination of OWL and Unix. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to incentivize. We will extend our capacity to reinvent without devaluing our power to matrix. We here at spannerworks have proven we know that it is better to redefine compellingly than to innovate virtually. The cross-media re-purposing factor is web-enabled. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to aggregate "micro-iteravely"? Without well-planned architectures, power shifts are forced to become affiliate-based. We often harness web-enabled bloatware management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think 24/7. Think interactive. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for managing emerging proactive iteration? Quick: do you have a leading-edge, leading-edge scheme for coping with new e-markets? We always streamline vertical subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We think we know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to reintermediate strategically. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, six-sigma portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XForms.