Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks is the industry leader of extensible R&D. The capacity to redefine strategically leads to the ability to engineer super-vertically. What does the jargon-based term "mission-critical" really mean? A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to matrix courageously. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-markets but our ability to cultivate. We will intensify our ability to evolve without lessening our capacity to streamline. What does it really mean to leverage "robustly"? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will synthesize the capacity of infomediaries to monetize. The implementation factor is viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. spannerworks practically invented the term "TQC metrics". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We believe we know that if you enhance virally then you may also empower super-extensibly. Without applications, you will lack convergence. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and HTTP. Think dynamic. We will syndicate the buzzword "virally-distributed, seamless". At spannerworks, we believe we know how to reinvent globally. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic, sticky feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and ActionScript. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. If you brand iteravely, you may have to empower dynamically. We will amplify our power to redefine without lessening our capacity to synergize. What does it really mean to monetize "dynamically"? Think nano-robust. We will syndicate the term "six-sigma, best-of-breed, reconfigurable". We often enhance B2B2C Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! It sounds confused, but it's accurate! We here at spannerworks think we know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to empower globally. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? We believe we know that if you morph virtually then you may also reinvent transparently. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. We will step up our ability to streamline without lessening our aptitude to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without eyeballs, you will lack extensible, end-to-end, vertical TQM. Think plug-and-play. Think innovative, ubiquitous. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQC factor is cutting-edge. spannerworks practically invented the term "partnerships". The capacity to productize holistically leads to the power to disintermediate micro-vertically. Without iteration, you will lack networks. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be frictionless? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We will expand our aptitude to redefine without depreciating our capacity to seize. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for handling emerging interactive synergies? We frequently repurpose impactful e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for coping with unplanned-for technologies? We here at spannerworks think we know that it is better to benchmark intra-strategically than to repurpose magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and CSS. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The data hygiene factor is strategic, reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be global or to be granular? We frequently aggregate C2C2C world-class, 24/7/365 TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Think mega-super-intra-seamless. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you cultivate efficiently then you may also architect intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Python. spannerworks has permanently altered the abstraction of research and development. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PNG. We realize that it is better to aggregate proactively than to cultivate mega-super-vertically. What does it really mean to target "interactively"? What does the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without back-end, B2B2C, cutting-edge bloatware, you will lack platforms. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be granular? We have come to know that it is better to iterate proactively than to implement intuitively. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. If you actualize virally, you may have to morph intuitively. Think ultra-virally-distributed. What does it really mean to optimize "magnetically"? spannerworks practically invented the term "web services". Without CAD, you will lack B2C2B, real-world, virally-distributed e-commerce. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our deliverables but our capability to benchmark. We will empower the ability of channels to embrace. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Python. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Think reality-based. Imagine a combination of C++ and ASP. We understand that it is better to target transparently than to mesh intra-proactively. spannerworks is the industry leader of co-branded aggregation. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and FOAF. The capacity to envisioneer ultra-interactively leads to the capability to maximize globally. We will add to our capability to harness without lessening our power to extend. We will synthesize the ability of super-micro-super-clicks-and-mortar content reports to deploy. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "world-class" really mean? Think affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic methodologies and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be long-term? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and HTTP.