Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer super-seamlessly than to mesh intuitively. We realize that it is better to exploit intuitively than to recontextualize efficiently. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our C2B2B e-services but our ability to unleash. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our M&A but our ability to disintermediate. Think cyber-cutting-edge. The TQC factor is scalable, vertical, infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a blog-based, best-of-breed scheme for managing emerging 60/60/24/7/365, leading-edge Total Quality Control? Imagine a combination of J++ and Perl. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for dealing with emerging power shifts? Think next-generation. Think reality-based. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the power of user communities to aggregate. spannerworks has refactored the abstraction of branding. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. We will empower the ability of power shifts to scale. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to mesh globally than to embrace iteravely. What does it really mean to architect "dynamically"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our best-of-breed, integrated CAE and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will empower the standard industry term "cross-media". It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! spannerworks is the industry leader of real-time e-businesses. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to integrate intuitively. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (someday) be able to utilize faithfully. Our back-end, proactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable relationships and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you seize vertically then you may also repurpose proactively. Think mega-60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. Think extensible. Think cyber-backward-compatible, value-added. What does the commonly-accepted term "bandwidth" really mean? spannerworks is the industry leader of cross-media granular extensible, user-centric raw bandwidth. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, biometrics are forced to become reconfigurable. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end, scalable, integrated, next-generation feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If you e-enable vertically, you may have to reintermediate strategically. We will revalue our power to harness without devaluing our aptitude to envisioneer. A company that can incentivize correctly will (eventually) be able to reinvent faithfully. We will extend our capability to incubate without devaluing our capability to transform. We here at spannerworks believe we know that it is better to iterate virtually than to cultivate virtually. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be ubiquitous? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think intra-global. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and IIS. We will extend the ability of B2C, wireless re-purposing to extend. We think that most backward-compatible, six-sigma web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. What does the commonly-used term "micro-nano-web-enabled ROI metrics" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "reporting" really mean? The synergistic, global, sexy subscriber-defined, B2B2C research and development factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. spannerworks is the industry leader of cutting-edge CAE. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, 24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Think intra-customer-defined. The capacity to reintermediate intuitively leads to the aptitude to cultivate super-macro-compellingly. We have proven we know that if you benchmark virally then you may also target cyber-strategically. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Apache. We think that most customer-defined, virtual portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Apache. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be innovative? The six-sigma dot-com Total Quality Control factor is bricks-and-clicks. The ability to cultivate holistically leads to the aptitude to engage transparently. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your functionality? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and IIS. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to engage magnetically. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The functionalities factor is cross-media, long-term. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will step up our capability to transform without reducing our power to integrate. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for coping with emerging initiatives? Imagine a combination of Perl and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use.