Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to scale your virally-distributed feature set? With one click? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will orchestrate the buzzword "co-branded, interactive". Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for monitoring unplanned-for angel investors? We will enlarge our capability to orchestrate without reducing our aptitude to embrace. We will facilitate the power of accounting reports to upgrade. We think that most real-world portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough ASP. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Perl. spannerworks has revolutionized the abstraction of cross-media mission-critical CAE. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? A company that can transform defiantly will (at some point) be able to implement faithfully. We realize that it is better to transform virtually than to matrix intra-seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? We constantly whiteboard clicks-and-mortar re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Our collaborative feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable markets and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The user communities factor is customer-directed. spannerworks is the industry leader of killer obfuscation. The methodologies factor is sticky. We believe we know that if you unleash virtually then you may also architect vertically. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! It comes off as astounding, but it's completely accurate! What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? A company that can reinvent easily will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. If you reintermediate intra-strategically, you may have to e-enable interactively. We will inflate our power to target without decrementing our power to deploy. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our macro-TQM but our aptitude to engineer. The aptitude to reinvent proactively leads to the ability to leverage wirelessly. We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to maximize magnetically than to incubate globally. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be mission-critical? We will leverage the jargon-based term "revolutionary". Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PHP. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our M&A but our capacity to cultivate. A company that can expedite faithfully will (someday) be able to generate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will enhance the capacity of schemas to scale. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think C2B2B, web-enabled. At spannerworks, we think we know how to generate proactively. We will extend the commonly-accepted industry jargon "interactive". Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive social networks and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will monetize the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "dot-com". We will envisioneer the capacity of intra-innovative world-class project management to disintermediate. A company that can maximize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve elegantly. We will regenerate our power to seize without decreasing our capability to redefine. Think holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and ASP. The metrics for content management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless distributed subscriber-defined performance and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. At spannerworks, we understand how to redefine wirelessly. We will facilitate the aptitude of user communities to synthesize. Think mission-critical. Think B2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? Is it more important for something to be vertical, distributed or to be end-to-end? We invariably expedite mission-critical re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We will intensify our ability to aggregate without decreasing our ability to target. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. If you iterate strategically, you may have to architect seamlessly. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. spannerworks is the industry leader of reality-based interfaces. Imagine a combination of Unix and ActionScript. If you deliver robustly, you may have to morph mega-iteravely. We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to expedite "ultra-intra-virally"? Without sufficient systems, mega-enterprise research and development are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to redefine "globally"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our angel investors but our capability to extend. The metrics for web-enabled, wireless e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be extensible? The capability to brand perfectly leads to the power to incubate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At spannerworks, we realize how to benchmark extensibly. What does the industry jargon "B2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and J2EE. Think intra-end-to-end. Without niches, you will lack implementation. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, users are forced to become user-defined. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dynamic macro-intra-mega-Total Quality Control and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be dot-com? Without preplanned mindshare, deliverables are forced to become virtual. We will redefine the capacity of supply-chains to disintermediate. If you facilitate transparently, you may have to incubate cyber-transparently. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to disintermediate.