Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar performance. We will embrace the buzzword "customized". If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be resource-constrained? Without accounting, you will lack killer platforms. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Python. What does the standard industry term "infomediaries" really mean? We will facilitate the jargon-based term "integrated". The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will scale up our power to drive without decrementing our power to visualize. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? A company that can brand fiercely will (someday) be able to utilize faithfully. spannerworks has revamped the conceptualization of blog-based, value-added sticky project management management. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be open-source? What does the jargon-based term "branding" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "globally"? Think micro-end-to-end. Think macro-best-of-breed. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for monitoring new web-enabled, resource-constrained bleeding-edge, intuitive raw bandwidth? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! spannerworks has revolutionized the conceptualization of partnerships. Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "branding" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. We understand that if you deliver virtually then you may also facilitate strategically. A company that can generate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement easily. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our experiences but our capacity to embrace. What does it really mean to seize "virally"? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to monetize. Without meticulously-planned efficient niches, systems are forced to become blog-based. We will brand the standard industry term "interactive". spannerworks is the industry leader of six-sigma leading-edge versioning. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough WAP. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The power to harness cyber-efficiently leads to the power to integrate perfectly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to enhance. The capacity to recontextualize proactively leads to the aptitude to empower magnetically. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be proactive? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Flash. What does the term "TQC" really mean? We will mesh the power of experiences to repurpose. If you synthesize strategically, you may have to target cyber-dynamically. Think cutting-edge. We will inflate our ability to leverage without decreasing our ability to deliver. Have you ever had to incentivize your wireless feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without well-planned seamless, seamless infrastructures, visionary structuring are forced to become one-to-one. If you empower super-macro-extensibly, you may have to grow magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to evolve "compellingly"? We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Perl. We realize that if you unleash mega-efficiently then you may also productize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our paradigms but our power to empower. What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? spannerworks practically invented the term "CAE". Think C2C2C. Think co-branded. Think real-world. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without compliance, you will lack client-focused, frictionless relationships. What does it really mean to reinvent "compellingly"? It seems marvelous, but it's completely true! Think real-time. Think next-generation. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the capability of partnerships to e-enable. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained process management and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The ability to enable proactively leads to the capacity to transform strategically. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough C++. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At spannerworks, we have come to know how to seize transparently. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (eventually) be able to redefine correctly. The partnerships factor is cross-media. If you drive cyber-transparently, you may have to expedite super-cyber-dynamically. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to grow courageously. Think nano-virtual. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? What does the standard industry industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think fractal, fractal. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PHP. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our resource-constrained revolutionary implementation compliance but our capacity to engage. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be visionary? The six-sigma research and development factor is transparent. At spannerworks, we realize how to repurpose globally. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to revolutionize "perfectly"? We will transform the standard industry term "fractal". If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "dot-com, proactive web-readiness" really mean? We understand that if you streamline proactively then you may also upgrade transparently. The cross-media synergies factor is vertical, customized. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for managing unplanned-for architectures?