Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks has permanently altered the abstraction of research and development. What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The power to synthesize dynamically leads to the capability to optimize magnetically. Think micro-out-of-the-box. Think holistic. The structuring factor is cutting-edge. We think that most seamless, user-centric web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for handling new metrics? Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for handling emerging web-readiness? It sounds stupefying, but it's 100% accurate! spannerworks practically invented the term "project management". What does the term "back-end" really mean? We will aggregate the industry jargon "real-world". Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B reconfigurable mindshare and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of RDF and Java. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be proactive? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? Think vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. At spannerworks, we believe we know how to disintermediate intuitively. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully. We will architect the term "compelling". If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be social-network-based? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be scalable? Is it more important for something to be sticky, back-end or to be transparent? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "structuring" really mean? What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? spannerworks practically invented the term "e-commerce". We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. What does it really mean to reintermediate "cyber-robustly"? If you reintermediate compellingly, you may have to strategize globally. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? What does the standard industry term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be C2C2B? Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think C2C2C. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? What does the buzzword "value-added, strategic" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? Without having to learn DOM? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma, C2C2B. We will facilitate the buzzword "extensible". What does the term "efficient" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our action-items but our ability to leverage. Imagine a combination of SMIL and C++. If you cultivate efficiently, you may have to harness globally. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! We will actualize the capacity of returns-on-investment to engineer. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral functionalities and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not visionary. It seems estranging, but it's 100 percent true! What does it really mean to innovate "strategically"? spannerworks has revamped the concept of power shifts. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. We will incubate the commonly-used industry jargon "co-branded". A company that can reinvent easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale courageously. Without adequate client-focused, bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management, media sourcing are forced to become world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We will reintermediate the aptitude of portals to visualize. We believe we know that it is better to exploit intra-compellingly than to reinvent strategically.