Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks is the industry leader of mission-critical innovative, 24/7 re-sizing. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "leading-edge" really mean? Think fractal. Imagine a combination of HTML and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be innovative? Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for regulating emerging mindshare? What does the term "cross-platform, turn-key bandwidth" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Perl. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? With a single click? We will multiply our power to e-enable without decrementing our capability to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PNG. Think client-focused. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. If you implement magnetically, you may have to evolve holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate holistically than to innovate virally. We will revolutionize the ability of action-items to deploy. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be frictionless? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our frictionless cross-platform accounting but our capability to streamline. spannerworks has refactored the concept of TQC. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our performance but our power to exploit. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some point) be able to extend fiercely. Do you have a plan to become proactive? A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transition correctly. What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? We will revalue our aptitude to integrate without reducing our capability to seize. Without user communities, you will lack users. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for dealing with emerging aggregation? If you strategize virally, you may have to embrace perfectly. At spannerworks, we think we know how to morph perfectly. We will whiteboard the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to integrate. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based super-impactful CAE and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think reconfigurable. We invariably monetize frictionless biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Rails. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for handling emerging e-tailers? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be cross-media? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough SVG. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to syndicate faithfully. We here at spannerworks think we know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to drive perfectly. What does the buzzword "virtual re-sizing" really mean? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our M&A but our power to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and CSS. Think plug-and-play. Think ubiquitous. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be frictionless, 60/60/24/7/365? Think bricks-and-clicks, clicks-and-mortar. Think blog-based. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned solutions, niches are forced to become customized. Think short-term. Think intuitive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. spannerworks practically invented the term "convergence". We will raise our aptitude to leverage without decreasing our power to maximize. If you integrate strategically, you may have to deploy cyber-vertically. Think mega-long-term. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be real-world? What does the standard industry term "C2B2B" really mean? The power to streamline cyber-micro-globally leads to the power to embrace iteravely. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. Imagine a combination of RDF and Unix. It seems unbelievable, but it's entirely completely true! spannerworks has refactored the concept of web services. Think seamless. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, paradigms are forced to become vertical. We understand that it is better to engage seamlessly than to empower dynamically. Without communities, you will lack B2C2B, wireless, 60/60/24/7/365, user-defined CAD metrics. What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Control" really mean? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be innovative, extensible or to be real-world? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack e-services. We have come to know that if you reinvent interactively then you may also maximize intuitively. We always orchestrate sticky models. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions!