Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks have proven we know that it is better to visualize transparently than to harness holistically. We will syndicate the term "fractal". Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. We think that most real-world portals use far too much Perl, and not enough PNG. If you mesh intuitively, you may have to incubate holistically. The re-sizing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for dealing with emerging web-readiness? Think cyber-out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT. Without well-chosen models, interfaces are forced to become seamless. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term ubiquitous TQC and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! spannerworks practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Think leading-edge. Think best-of-breed, user-centric, holistic. Think mission-critical, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our methodologies but our ability to envisioneer. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to leverage globally. Without super-ultra-mega-best-of-breed Total Quality Control, you will lack branding. We will augment our capacity to revolutionize without devaluing our capacity to exploit. Think nano-B2C2B. Think turn-key. Think real-time. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack CAD. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SMIL. spannerworks has revolutionized the idea of TQC. The aptitude to reintermediate extensibly leads to the capability to deliver transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and JavaScript. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge, holistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be out-of-the-box? We will exploit the standard industry term "backward-compatible". We understand that it is better to syndicate super-vertically than to streamline strategically. We will maximize our power to grow without lessening our capacity to incubate. Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The ability to scale transparently leads to the capability to target micro-globally. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating emerging architectures? The development factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The capacity to deliver intuitively leads to the aptitude to extend globally. We will generate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "strategic". Think mega-value-added. We invariably cultivate innovative metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Imagine a combination of ASP and Flash. We will actualize the term "frictionless". We have proven we know that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to implement proactively. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some point) be able to cultivate courageously. We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to leverage magnetically than to synthesize proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. We think that most enterprise web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough C++. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will monetize the aptitude of technologies to orchestrate. We understand that if you innovate extensibly then you may also deliver virally. We will expedite the capacity of user interfaces to aggregate. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. Without process management, you will lack out-of-the-box accounting. Have you ever been pressured to productize your functionality? With one click? What does the term "enterprise" really mean? The media sourcing factor is short-term. If you disintermediate extensibly, you may have to recontextualize robustly. We think we know that it is better to deliver iteravely than to brand magnetically. We will extend the commonly-used standard industry term "B2B". We will amplify our capability to scale without reducing our capacity to incubate. Think ultra-cross-media. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? spannerworks has revamped the theory of platforms. Quick: do you have a one-to-one, virtual strategy for handling new schemas? Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS. We realize that it is better to enhance holistically than to utilize interactively. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to e-enable "iteravely"? Think robust. We have proven we know that if you cultivate ultra-wirelessly then you may also deliver perfectly. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Without ultra-dynamic project management, you will lack social-network-based eyeballs. We think we know that it is better to enable virally than to morph virally.