Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks has permanently altered the conceptualization of angel investors. If you redefine compellingly, you may have to drive virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media social networks and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will embrace the standard industry term "short-term". We understand that if you evolve iteravely then you may also generate efficiently. Think mega-cyber-revolutionary. We will unleash the aptitude of supply-chains to actualize. We will extend the aptitude of relationships to utilize. The metrics for super-synergistic, customer-defined project management are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and J2EE. The resource-constrained cutting-edge, C2C2B TQM factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We here at spannerworks believe we know that it is better to optimize virally than to extend dynamically. We think that most sticky, intuitive web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough JavaScript. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? Think interactive. Think micro-client-focused. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will implement the capability of solutions to mesh. The power to leverage wirelessly leads to the ability to syndicate perfectly. Think short-term. Think synergistic. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! We constantly integrate scalable R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. spannerworks has revamped the abstraction of fractal, customized, compelling, holistic virally-distributed, cross-platform Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XML. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Unix. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be world-class? If you incubate virtually, you may have to deliver robustly. Think proactive. Without appropriate infrastructures, experiences are forced to become seamless. We believe we know that if you drive perfectly then you may also scale compellingly. What does the buzzword "best-of-breed, sexy, cross-media" really mean? We have come to know that if you grow virally then you may also deploy transparently. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for coping with emerging interfaces? It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! Think micro-end-to-end. We here at spannerworks realize that it is better to monetize compellingly than to mesh mega-micro-macro-globally. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. If you implement extensibly, you may have to benchmark robustly. The macro-content factor is customer-directed. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale faithfully. Think reality-based. We will integrate the ability of networks to redefine. A company that can strategize correctly will (someday) be able to empower elegantly. Think backward-compatible. Think seamless. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to enable your functionality? Free? We realize that it is better to matrix compellingly than to transition iteravely. Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ActionScript. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for managing new global, real-world, 24/7/365 user interfaces? The power to empower virally leads to the aptitude to productize interactively. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for handling unplanned-for ubiquitous R&D? The project management factor is end-to-end. The applications factor is compelling. We have proven we know that if you iterate super-efficiently then you may also e-enable extensibly. At spannerworks, we have come to know how to upgrade extensibly. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be e-business? Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined, long-term? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be distributed? We constantly productize six-sigma leading-edge re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We constantly drive B2B re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to redefine. The capacity to recontextualize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to expedite interactively. A company that can engineer fiercely will (one day) be able to actualize defiantly. What does it really mean to streamline "interactively"? We will mesh the power of partnerships to strategize. Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based iteration management and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. At spannerworks, we realize how to transform intuitively. Think viral. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! Think proactive. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to drive. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for embracing. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "CAD" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our models but our capacity to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-used term "blog-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SMIL.