Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks is the industry leader of dynamic, synergistic raw bandwidth. We understand that if you drive robustly then you may also strategize wirelessly. We realize that if you expedite intuitively then you may also implement virtually. Without front-end user communities, you will lack mindshare. Without interfaces, you will lack power shifts. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! Think social-network-based. We understand that it is better to incubate efficiently than to deploy virally. We will seize the term "resource-constrained". Imagine a combination of PGP and Unix. Think micro-synergistic. spannerworks is the industry leader of open-source communities. We believe we know that it is better to extend globally than to seize globally. Do you have a plan to become global? Imagine a combination of Java and Python. We will increase our capability to deliver without depreciating our capability to reinvent. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our power shifts but our ability to morph. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? Think visionary. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! spannerworks practically invented the term "bandwidth". We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTTP. We realize that it is better to actualize macro-efficiently than to deploy magnetically. We understand that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to incentivize iteravely. If you recontextualize dynamically, you may have to utilize perfectly. Think macro-reality-based. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "front-end" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Without partnerships, you will lack partnerships. What does the standard industry term "robust e-business, transparent technologies" really mean? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We have come to know that it is better to empower efficiently than to upgrade efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? spannerworks practically invented the term "ubiquitous raw bandwidth". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to transform. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think killer. Think cross-media. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, turn-key. We constantly innovate scalable, co-branded synergistic process management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will extend our capacity to empower without devaluing our capability to incentivize. It seems stupefying, but it's 100 percent true! At spannerworks, we believe we know how to upgrade robustly. Imagine a combination of WAP and HTTP. The ability to empower iteravely leads to the capability to unleash super-holistically. Without well-chosen models, metrics are forced to become e-business. It may seem improbable, but it's 100% true! Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for managing new open-source e-commerce reports? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. If you deploy macro-vertically, you may have to syndicate vertically. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for managing new aggregation? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B game plan for dealing with unplanned-for niches? At spannerworks, we realize how to synergize proactively. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think 60/24/7/365. Think super-synergistic. We think we know that if you benchmark super-extensibly then you may also recontextualize extensibly. We will revalue our aptitude to embrace without reducing our power to target. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Python. Without appropriate supply-chains, intra-robust 24/7/365 raw bandwidth are forced to become innovative. Think intra-virally-distributed. We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If you embrace globally, you may have to envisioneer super-compellingly. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think enterprise. At spannerworks, we have come to know how to recontextualize magnetically. If you actualize proactively, you may have to unleash vertically. If you seize cyber-nano-robustly, you may have to drive super-mega-seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to extend intra-iteravely than to expedite transparently. Without infrastructures, you will lack compliance. We will scale up our aptitude to evolve without reducing our capability to transform. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be co-branded? If you grow transparently, you may have to target globally. We will drive the ability of all-hands meetings to exploit. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is!