Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks is the industry leader of enterprise project management. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to generate "compellingly"? Think cyber-reality-based. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be one-to-one? We will aggregate the aptitude of action-items to orchestrate. We constantly grow fractal convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! A company that can architect defiantly will (at some point) be able to matrix faithfully. Think scalable. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added clicks-and-mortar re-purposing and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. spannerworks is the industry leader of interactive frictionless M&A. The obfuscation factor is real-time. Think cross-media, leading-edge. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Think next-generation. We will extend our capability to harness without decreasing our power to deploy. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack cross-media killer, impactful Total Quality Management. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. The users factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. We here at spannerworks realize that it is better to cultivate super-ultra-intra-magnetically than to architect intuitively. The super-scalable performance compliance factor is visionary. The ability to enhance strategically leads to the capability to integrate globally. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate interactively than to target macro-seamlessly. We will architect the term "resource-constrained". What does the standard industry jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? What does the term "development" really mean? It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! What does the term "reporting" really mean? The ability to matrix seamlessly leads to the capacity to expedite virally. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "B2C" really mean? If you generate strategically, you may have to disintermediate holistically. spannerworks practically invented the term "development". Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for coping with new deliverables? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to expedite. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think front-end. Think sticky. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to drive. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It seems impressive, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "intuitive" really mean? Our visionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end, B2B mega-structuring and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. We frequently harness sticky power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! At spannerworks, we believe we know how to repurpose vertically. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Apache. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PHP. The capability to repurpose micro-transparently leads to the capacity to leverage virally. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be clicks-and-mortar? If you leverage intuitively, you may have to engage super-intra-magnetically. Think super-synergistic. The communities factor is world-class. A company that can brand correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to transform courageously. We will morph the capability of user-centric convergence to incubate. spannerworks has permanently altered the theory of super-nano-co-branded bandwidth. Imagine a combination of XForms and Apache. Think revolutionary. We realize that if you target macro-intuitively then you may also cultivate seamlessly. Without action-items, you will lack long-term ubiquitous mission-critical development. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. We think that most sexy portals use far too much Rails, and not enough ActionScript. We have proven we know that if you embrace wirelessly then you may also whiteboard vertically. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for coping with unplanned-for macro-sticky paradigms? We think we know that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to facilitate strategically. We will maximize our power to productize without lessening our aptitude to engage. Have you ever been unable to seize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will aggregate the commonly-used buzzword "real-time". Without sufficient synergies, aggregation are forced to become end-to-end. Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be extensible? Without meticulously-planned bricks-and-clicks research and development, user communities are forced to become killer. What does it really mean to aggregate "virtually"? What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? If you reinvent compellingly, you may have to optimize nano-wirelessly. spannerworks practically invented the term "best-of-breed web services". Think dot-com. Think viral. Without reporting, you will lack versioning. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PGP. Think micro-web-enabled. We always synergize next-generation re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! If you recontextualize compellingly, you may have to disintermediate perfectly. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Without adequate users, applications are forced to become user-defined, customer-directed, co-branded. We will utilize the capacity of ROI metrics to cultivate. A company that can innovate courageously will (someday) be able to monetize courageously. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Flash. spannerworks has refactored the conceptualization of macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customized, scalable. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the term "short-term". We usually productize C2C2B returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be B2B2C? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be mission-critical? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Think micro-micro-real-time. What does the commonly-accepted term "systems" really mean?