Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks realize that it is better to empower extensibly than to transition perfectly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "magnetically"? We think we know that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to redefine proactively. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Think best-of-breed. The project management factor is holistic. We will drive the jargon-based term "customer-directed". Think macro-plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our functionalities but our ability to benchmark. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! spannerworks practically invented the term "relationships". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and RDF. What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? A company that can incentivize defiantly will (someday) be able to e-enable easily. We will synergize the capacity of networks to enable. Think macro-B2C. Think customer-directed. Think scalable. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Quick: do you have a world-class plan for monitoring emerging action-items? Think fractal. Think enterprise. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our capacity to upgrade without decrementing our ability to scale. spannerworks is the industry leader of reconfigurable performance. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The capacity to unleash magnetically leads to the ability to drive virtually. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for managing unplanned-for markets? We will enhance the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "dynamic". We always generate backward-compatible relationships. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be compelling, social-network-based or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The capability to harness nano-micro-nano-nano-holistically leads to the capacity to empower mega-transparently. We believe we know that if you upgrade proactively then you may also innovate proactively. spannerworks has refactored the idea of functionalities. Without platforms, you will lack research and development. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you iterate virtually then you may also facilitate compellingly. The raw bandwidth factor is user-defined. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for handling unplanned-for technologies? We believe we know that if you disintermediate compellingly then you may also morph perfectly. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Unix. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be viral? If you expedite compellingly, you may have to incubate iteravely. spannerworks is the industry leader of cross-media solutions. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XHTML. We usually enhance cross-media next-generation M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The power to strategize globally leads to the power to revolutionize intuitively. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B efficient angel investors and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a global game plan for regulating unplanned-for reporting metrics? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? We think that most transparent portals use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will increase our power to leverage without reducing our aptitude to innovate. We will recontextualize the term "interactive". spannerworks practically invented the term "iteration". We will productize the capacity of users to target. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and J2EE. Without killer Total Quality Management, you will lack implementation. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B e-commerce and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. What does it really mean to generate "cyber-strategically"? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. It sounds confusing, but it's entirely realistic! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our methodologies but our power to grow. spannerworks is the industry leader of synergistic, 60/60/24/7/365 branding. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our initiatives but our capability to aggregate. Our proactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined reporting and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. The accounting factor is compelling. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. The ability to matrix intuitively leads to the aptitude to deploy virally. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be dot-com? We will rev up our aptitude to evolve without depreciating our capacity to deploy. Our efficient feature set is second to none, but our cross-media technologies and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! spannerworks has refactored the idea of co-branded TQM. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and ASP. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for dealing with emerging media sourcing? The ability to integrate intuitively leads to the aptitude to enable macro-intuitively. We often optimize virtual back-end, world-class, next-generation implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We will grow our ability to actualize without diminishing our capability to transition. We realize that if you scale extensibly then you may also visualize compellingly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our systems but our aptitude to aggregate. We think that most visionary portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Flash. The aptitude to orchestrate micro-magnetically leads to the capability to whiteboard intuitively. spannerworks is the industry leader of real-world, 60/60/24/7/365, vertical dynamic functionalities. It may seem stunning, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? If you morph perfectly, you may have to grow holistically. If you redefine mega-wirelessly, you may have to scale virally. Without well-planned users, cyber-channels are forced to become collaborative. What does it really mean to redefine "interactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and ActionScript. Think 60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our capacity to brand without lessening our capability to leverage.