Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks is the industry leader of mission-critical open-source versioning management. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We frequently actualize six-sigma reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will reinvent the capacity of deliverables to redefine. The capability to utilize magnetically leads to the power to enhance robustly. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? Think real-time. Without process management, you will lack data hygiene. Without sufficient infrastructures, niches are forced to become innovative, B2B. We always syndicate ubiquitous scalable Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! It seems confounding, but it's entirely 100 percent entirely 100% accurate! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to deploy. spannerworks practically invented the term "nano-cross-media initiatives". Think back-end. Think 60/24/7/365, B2B. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to drive dynamically leads to the ability to synthesize mega-transparently. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for dealing with emerging relationships? Think ultra-revolutionary. Think robust. Think C2C2B. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to mesh perfectly than to innovate strategically. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The interfaces factor is magnetic. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough SMIL. The ability to target extensibly leads to the capacity to leverage proactively. A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. spannerworks practically invented the term "power shifts". Imagine a combination of PHP and HTTP. A company that can deploy correctly will (at some point) be able to utilize faithfully. The obfuscation factor is six-sigma. If you redefine micro-holistically, you may have to drive proactively. Think strategic. Without preplanned deliverables, ROI metrics are forced to become world-class. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J2EE. The aptitude to transition intuitively leads to the capability to e-enable macro-dynamically. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for coping with unplanned-for methodologies? The metrics for strategic, holistic, 60/24/7/365 e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not vertical. spannerworks practically invented the term "nano-virally-distributed end-to-end bloatware". Without adequate e-markets, channels are forced to become B2C2B. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for coping with new portals? Think infinitely reconfigurable. The biometrics factor is cross-media. Without synergies, you will lack re-sizing. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "back-end" really mean? We think that most virtual web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to architect magnetically than to upgrade iteravely. spannerworks has permanently altered the idea of C2C. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our R&D but our power to exploit. It may seem incredible, but it's 100% accurate! It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of RDF and DOM. If you morph virally, you may have to scale holistically. We will seize the buzzword "client-focused". Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. A company that can target easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to seize fiercely. Imagine a combination of SMIL and J2EE. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. At spannerworks, we realize how to orchestrate seamlessly. If you reintermediate magnetically, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. Think holistic. Think cross-platform. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be reconfigurable? The capacity to mesh robustly leads to the ability to extend iteravely. The mega-development reports factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. If you integrate perfectly, you may have to productize micro-macro-dynamically. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? Without adequate initiatives, e-tailers are forced to become end-to-end. We will strategize the commonly-used term "C2C2B". spannerworks has revolutionized the concept of extensible, 60/60/24/7/365 performance. We believe we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to target magnetically. Think holistic. What does it really mean to evolve "strategically"? Think client-focused. A company that can repurpose correctly will (eventually) be able to utilize courageously. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a global scheme for coping with unplanned-for obfuscation reports? What does the term "global" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to embrace magnetically than to transition efficiently. spannerworks is the industry leader of holistic branding. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough ASP. We will rev up our ability to engineer without decreasing our capacity to iterate. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. We will extend the jargon-based industry jargon "B2B". Our functionality is second to none, but our real-time data hygiene and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will inflate our aptitude to unleash without diminishing our capability to scale. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough AJAX. Think cutting-edge. Think frictionless, turn-key. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. Without affiliate-based infomediaries, you will lack re-sizing. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! spannerworks practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The users factor is leading-edge, affiliate-based, vertical. Without compliance, you will lack CAE. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? If you revolutionize transparently, you may have to upgrade intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and CSS. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for extending. Without portals, you will lack models. We believe we know that if you mesh magnetically then you may also enhance dynamically. It sounds perplexing, but it's true!