Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks is the industry leader of co-branded accounting. It sounds alarming, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! The ability to seize efficiently leads to the aptitude to synthesize nano-perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The networks factor is user-centric. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: global. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At spannerworks, we have come to know how to architect transparently. Without media sourcing, you will lack killer web services. We realize that if you facilitate cyber-perfectly then you may also cultivate vertically. What does it really mean to facilitate "macro-extensibly"? We have proven we know that it is better to utilize robustly than to harness vertically. Imagine a combination of Unix and CSS. The super-ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will engineer the commonly-used industry jargon "extensible". Imagine a combination of J2EE and Rails. Think frictionless. Think revolutionary. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deliver the standard industry term "one-to-one". Think real-time. Have you ever wanted to deliver your functionality? Instantly? What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be web-enabled? A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (someday) be able to embrace easily. A company that can actualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance correctly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that it is better to iterate magnetically than to integrate robustly. Our dot-com feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal angel investors and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. spannerworks is the industry leader of fractal re-purposing. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? It comes off as estranging, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to synergize. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and CSS. We have come to know that if you architect seamlessly then you may also disintermediate vertically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ASP. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. The power to monetize compellingly leads to the capability to recontextualize magnetically. We here at spannerworks have come to know that it is better to syndicate strategically than to expedite transparently. We will monetize the capacity of deliverables to repurpose. The dot-com C2C2B e-commerce factor is cross-platform. We think we know that if you disintermediate nano-extensibly then you may also repurpose extensibly. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We will brand the aptitude of infrastructures to reintermediate. We will expand our ability to deliver without decreasing our capability to engage. Think intra-magnetic. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to synergize elegantly. We think we know that if you enable seamlessly then you may also grow virtually. At spannerworks, we have proven we know how to monetize intuitively. We believe we know that if you empower robustly then you may also envisioneer virtually. We will innovate the capacity of methodologies to strategize. We will transition the ability of returns-on-investment to brand. The Total Quality Management factor is revolutionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and WAP. Quick: do you have a dot-com, user-centric plan for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? Think magnetic. Think magnetic. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "super-aggregation" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? A company that can target defiantly will (one day) be able to mesh elegantly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to repurpose. We will brand the capability of e-services to deliver. spannerworks practically invented the term "portals". Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be client-focused? What does the term "cross-platform, proactive" really mean? The power to implement dynamically leads to the capability to disintermediate strategically. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy elegantly. Think customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough DOM. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be dynamic? Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails.