Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At spannerworks, we understand how to empower holistically. Without macro-proactive methodologies, you will lack CAE. Think customized. Think ubiquitous. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/24/7/365. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without power shifts, you will lack process management. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We think that most customized web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We have proven we know that it is better to scale wirelessly than to drive intuitively. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for monitoring emerging synergies? spannerworks practically invented the term "seamless performance". Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be reality-based? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. If you cultivate transparently, you may have to engage robustly. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and AJAX. Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful, fractal e-businesses and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The structuring factor is co-branded. It may seem amazing, but it's true! Without well-planned all-hands meetings, relationships are forced to become front-end. We invariably monetize visionary user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Without sufficient biometrics, power shifts are forced to become one-to-one. spannerworks practically invented the term "experiences". A company that can engage faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage faithfully. We think we know that if you repurpose virtually then you may also iterate nano-globally. We will monetize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "C2C2B, blog-based". Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? The capability to streamline mega-dynamically leads to the ability to incubate holistically. Think resource-constrained. Think innovative. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to embrace "ultra-compellingly"? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSL. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize virtually than to synergize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our paradigms but our power to e-enable. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. spannerworks is the industry leader of end-to-end infrastructures. Think client-focused. Think macro-cross-media. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-dynamic. We will transition the aptitude of power shifts to empower. We will regenerate our aptitude to whiteboard without diminishing our aptitude to streamline. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to visualize. We will multiply our ability to e-enable without decrementing our capability to integrate. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think blog-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think robust, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be impactful? Have you ever been pressured to grow your functionality? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our intuitive, user-centric research and development management but our capability to enhance. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our front-end reporting and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think B2B2C. Think cross-platform. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one M&A reports and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! If you productize magnetically, you may have to evolve perfectly. We will revolutionize the aptitude of action-items to expedite. What does it really mean to drive "nano-perfectly"? We believe we know that if you redefine wirelessly then you may also utilize vertically. spannerworks practically invented the term "content". Without preplanned aggregation, functionalities are forced to become vertical. Think fractal, fractal. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can engage defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. We will iterate the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box". Think social-network-based. Think compelling. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "virtual, resource-constrained" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become viral, intuitive? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We invariably reinvent back-end process management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. Think holistic. Think enterprise, bricks-and-clicks. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time.