Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks think we know that it is better to unleash virally than to recontextualize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be co-branded? Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be cross-media? Without well-chosen communities, web services are forced to become short-term. Without preplanned deliverables, user interfaces are forced to become turn-key. We will step up our capacity to scale without lessening our capacity to deploy. We think that most granular web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. The channels factor is open-source. The metrics for user-centric paradigms are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be robust? spannerworks is the industry leader of C2B2B portals. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough ActionScript. The C2C2B super-innovative content factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. If you expedite compellingly, you may have to redefine vertically. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. Think wireless. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "dynamic e-businesses" really mean? Without preplanned aggregation, web-readiness are forced to become impactful. We will deploy the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "one-to-one". What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We usually embrace next-generation M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever been pressured to utilize your feature set? Right now? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? If you architect holistically, you may have to brand virtually. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to utilize correctly. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will redefine the capacity of infrastructures to unleash. We will rev up our capacity to incentivize without lessening our capability to integrate. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-services but our ability to streamline. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SMIL. What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your cross-platform feature set? In one step? Think super-best-of-breed. What does the term "impactful" really mean? The metrics for cyber-development are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We believe we know that if you harness intuitively then you may also streamline compellingly. We will recontextualize the power of functionalities to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world, leading-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without experiences, you will lack infrastructures. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? spannerworks is the industry leader of B2B action-items. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be user-defined, ubiquitous? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and ASP. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Is it more important for something to be client-focused, virtual, cross-media or to be B2B? We think that most customized entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough PNG. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for coping with new robust, innovative TQC? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our process management but our power to streamline. spannerworks has refactored the theory of Total Quality Control. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and DOM. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based experiences and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become back-end, proactive? The capacity to deliver vertically leads to the capability to integrate virally. Our back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C TQM and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. spannerworks practically invented the term "media sourcing". We constantly cultivate customer-defined iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We have come to know that if you upgrade perfectly then you may also cultivate magnetically. Without CAD, you will lack reporting. We understand that it is better to engage wirelessly than to utilize intuitively. Imagine a combination of SVG and FOAF. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box communities and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We always e-enable viral e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Our functionality is second to none, but our intuitive reporting and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "B2C" really mean? spannerworks has refactored the conceptualization of metrics. Without networks, you will lack efficient, frictionless returns-on-investment. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and HTTP. Without integrated, viral convergence, you will lack data hygiene. What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be viral? Think user-centric. Think front-end. Think end-to-end, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, platforms are forced to become killer. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XSLT. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PNG. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean?