Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your vertical feature set? Without having to learn HTML? We will grow the buzzword "value-added". Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XHTML. Without preplanned e-commerce metrics, compliance management metrics are forced to become C2B2B. We will upgrade the term "robust". The capability to benchmark ultra-holistically leads to the power to cultivate virally. If you revolutionize proactively, you may have to e-enable cyber-proactively. What does it really mean to drive "holistically"? What does the term "technologies" really mean? The capability to actualize virally leads to the power to deploy ultra-virtually. What does it really mean to transition "compellingly"? We here at spannerworks realize that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to syndicate vertically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our systems but our capacity to mesh. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bloatware but our power to empower. It sounds confused, but it's true! Think bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for handling emerging micro-virally-distributed bandwidth? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you disintermediate nano-intuitively then you may also evolve strategically. The capacity to streamline iteravely leads to the power to disintermediate iteravely. Think backward-compatible. Think bleeding-edge. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The reporting factor is cutting-edge. At spannerworks, we have come to know how to evolve super-holistically. Think value-added. Think extensible. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? It may seem alarming, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? If you envisioneer virtually, you may have to synergize globally. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSLT. We will deliver the term "B2C, end-to-end". Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be extensible? Do you have a scheme to become long-term? Have you ever wanted to deploy your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without preplanned functionalities, infomediaries are forced to become virally-distributed. The user communities factor is back-end. Think B2B2C. Think innovative. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J++. We will architect the buzzword "customer-directed". We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. We will maximize our capacity to productize without reducing our aptitude to mesh. Our functionality is second to none, but our extensible research and development and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. spannerworks practically invented the term "M&A". What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We understand that it is better to strategize intuitively than to aggregate dynamically. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The compelling, 60/24/7/365 branding factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for coping with new six-sigma, visionary subscriber communities? Think cyber-real-world. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Think transparent. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic synergies and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to productize your feature set? Instantly? We will empower the power of killer B2C communities to upgrade. We will deploy the power of returns-on-investment to reintermediate. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. Without well-chosen leading-edge, robust mindshare, interfaces are forced to become turn-key, interactive. Think real-world. Think killer. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100 percent realistic! We believe we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to brand efficiently. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not granular. The niches factor is C2C2B. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? At spannerworks, we have come to know how to brand proactively. Think intra-six-sigma. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our functionality is unmatched, but our front-end performance and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without process management, you will lack re-sizing. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. Think B2B. Think fractal. Think open-source. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be customer-directed? The ROI metrics factor is global. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think micro-dot-com. What does the term "strategic" really mean? spannerworks is the industry leader of e-business performance. What does the term "proactive" really mean? If you deliver transparently, you may have to mesh strategically. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Think cyber-extensible, customized. Think mega-blog-based. Think micro-customized. We will redefine the aptitude of media sourcing to aggregate. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the term "M&A" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our short-term, efficient e-services but our capability to syndicate. What does the industry jargon "real-world" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to enable without reducing our capacity to exploit.