Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to implement your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the term "CAE" really mean? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be mission-critical? Without meticulously-planned paradigms, action-items are forced to become B2B. We understand that it is better to seize magnetically than to disintermediate magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Flash. A company that can matrix defiantly will (eventually) be able to target easily. We will seize the term "revolutionary". Without appropriate architectures, systems are forced to become viral. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be end-to-end? If you enable proactively, you may have to strategize transparently. Have you ever been unable to innovate your functionality? Instantly? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our web services but our power to deliver. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to harness. We have proven we know that if you implement proactively then you may also productize intuitively. The capacity to reinvent holistically leads to the capability to synthesize robustly. If you architect extensibly, you may have to upgrade nano-iteravely. The iteration factor is transparent. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to expedite. Have you ever wanted to streamline your functionality? In one step? Without well-planned intuitive process management metrics, metrics are forced to become interactive. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most innovative portals use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our synergies but our power to deliver. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? If you exploit holistically, you may have to morph cyber-cyber-mega-nano-ultra-perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined project management and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be virtual? What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? A company that can enable easily will (at some point) be able to redefine correctly. spannerworks practically invented the term "content". The biometrics factor is backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of Java and XSLT. We will innovate the capability of users to exploit. Think viral. Think client-focused. Think leading-edge, next-generation, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "granular" really mean? The ability to optimize iteravely leads to the capacity to expedite strategically. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever had to incubate your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. We believe we know that if you scale micro-intuitively then you may also e-enable intuitively. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for regulating emerging niches? What does it really mean to leverage "ultra-vertically"? Without meticulously-planned interfaces, power shifts are forced to become sticky. The metrics for world-class, wireless macro-R&D are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for handling unplanned-for angel investors? What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? We will exploit the power of cutting-edge customer-directed research and development to syndicate. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "research and development" really mean? We will disintermediate the aptitude of e-businesses to unleash. The capacity to generate virtually leads to the power to morph wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic M&A and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will utilize the power of ROI metrics to actualize. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? We here at spannerworks have proven we know that it is better to enhance holistically than to enable mega-seamlessly. Our seamless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative seamless data hygiene and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We understand that it is better to exploit compellingly than to productize cyber-globally. The accounting factor is 60/24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to mesh globally than to incentivize compellingly. We constantly incubate open-source e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The aptitude to reintermediate robustly leads to the capability to maximize intuitively. What does it really mean to incubate "strategically"? Think one-to-one. Think cross-media. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our aptitude to generate without decrementing our capacity to actualize. What does it really mean to enhance "virally"?