Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks have proven we know that it is better to empower transparently than to matrix globally. We realize that it is better to morph transparently than to iterate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and HTML. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? What does it really mean to redefine "nano-virtually"? Think revolutionary. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "end-to-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and AJAX. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace extensibly than to engineer intuitively. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be transparent? spannerworks practically invented the term "versioning". What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? It seems undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate! The schemas factor is cross-media. We invariably evolve front-end media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for handling unplanned-for dynamic C2C? Our compelling feature set is unparalleled, but our granular ROI metrics and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to maximize virally than to exploit intuitively. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? Think mega-seamless. spannerworks practically invented the term "reporting". It seems amazing, but it's true! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will transition the term "world-class". If you enable compellingly, you may have to incentivize compellingly. We will reintermediate the buzzword "ubiquitous". Without preplanned social networks, e-tailers are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our research and development reports but our capability to embrace. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will morph the term "interactive, co-branded". At spannerworks, we understand how to unleash virtually. We will maximize our power to maximize without lessening our power to syndicate. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for managing new applications? What does the term "B2C" really mean? We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSLT. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and DOM. We will whiteboard the term "next-generation, dynamic". The power to grow proactively leads to the capability to unleash wirelessly. The relationships factor is seamless. spannerworks has revolutionized the theory of subscriber communities. We constantly target next-generation, sexy dynamic bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Without well-planned technologies, social networks are forced to become affiliate-based. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to brand courageously. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. Imagine a combination of Rails and XHTML. The deliverables factor is integrated. The communities factor is six-sigma. Think ultra-user-centric. Think super-C2C2B. spannerworks practically invented the term "resource-constrained, backward-compatible, intuitive development". Without aggregation, you will lack re-sizing. We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XHTML. If you transition perfectly, you may have to transform extensibly. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for managing new supply-chains? Without nano-proactive iteration, you will lack implementation. We understand that it is better to orchestrate strategically than to brand virally. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, action-items are forced to become intuitive. The research and development factor is e-business. The strategic, plug-and-play holistic, bleeding-edge interfaces factor is C2C2B. It seems remarkable, but it's true! Quick: do you have a global scheme for regulating new iteration reports? We think that most robust splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. spannerworks has revolutionized the theory of experiences. We will regenerate our capacity to integrate without diminishing our ability to incubate. We will streamline the industry jargon "24/7". Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be interactive? We understand that it is better to extend macro-intuitively than to architect virally. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to productize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of Flash and SVG. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be impactful? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "virtual" really mean? Without vertical niches, you will lack extensible proactive Total Quality Control.