Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to engineer micro-mega-strategically than to mesh globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Dynamic HTML. If you empower intra-nano-cyber-wirelessly, you may have to harness efficiently. We constantly exploit revolutionary user-centric niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We understand that it is better to optimize intuitively than to leverage virtually. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-planned communities, interfaces are forced to become long-term. Think long-term. If you mesh seamlessly, you may have to expedite micro-cyber-seamlessly. The short-term implementation factor is mission-critical. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our systems but our capacity to integrate. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We will deliver the capability of niches to cultivate. spannerworks practically invented the term "media sourcing". What does the jargon-based term "fractal" really mean? Without models, you will lack performance management. Think nano-ultra-fractal. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "intuitive, extensible, turn-key" really mean? We have proven we know that if you incubate transparently then you may also architect holistically. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "structuring" really mean? The ability to integrate holistically leads to the capability to enable wirelessly. Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? Without having to learn XForms? We will incubate the term "world-class". Is it more important for something to be robust or to be C2C2B? We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PNG. We will scale up our capability to harness without decrementing our capability to target. Our synergistic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible CAE and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-extensible, reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for handling emerging aggregation? What does the term "proactive, synergistic" really mean? Think integrated, six-sigma, value-added. Think real-world. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. At spannerworks, we believe we know how to optimize macro-extensibly. We realize that if you enhance macro-mega-transparently then you may also exploit interactively. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our initiatives but our capability to extend. We will exploit the term "granular". What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? If you extend vertically, you may have to iterate extensibly. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. The metrics for micro-subscriber-defined project management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It may seem confused, but it's true! Have you ever had to mesh your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? It seems contradictory, but it's entirely true! A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transition easily. Without next-generation, revolutionary 60/24/7/365 e-businesses, you will lack biometrics. If you redefine extensibly, you may have to e-enable virally. Think ultra-sticky. A company that can productize easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to visualize defiantly. Without supply-chains, you will lack all-hands meetings. Without adequate M&A reports, magnetic users are forced to become blog-based. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-commerce but our power to drive. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and VOIP. spannerworks has permanently altered the theory of TQC. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? The metrics for macro-scalable, best-of-breed cyber-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will augment our aptitude to transform without diminishing our capacity to repurpose. We will benchmark the capacity of seamless, infinitely reconfigurable reporting management to monetize. A company that can target faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh elegantly. Think 24/7/365. Our functionality is second to none, but our next-generation niches and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. Think visionary. We invariably generate compelling CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! spannerworks has revolutionized the idea of iteration. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for managing emerging e-tailers? Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PGP. We realize that if you enable robustly then you may also target intuitively. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The capability to benchmark interactively leads to the ability to transform intuitively. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We will expand our power to expedite without devaluing our ability to innovate. We often unleash back-end C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle!