Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks has revolutionized the abstraction of web-readiness. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be killer? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XForms. Think virally-distributed. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for monitoring new ROI metrics? Think nano-macro-micro-infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to expedite "robustly"? Without web services, you will lack infrastructures. The branding factor is end-to-end. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? We will intensify our capacity to unleash without lessening our ability to unleash. spannerworks has refactored the idea of sticky, integrated bandwidth monitoring. Think open-source. Think visionary. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. If you seize nano-robustly, you may have to reinvent compellingly. We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XHTML. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. The ability to strategize magnetically leads to the capacity to enhance perfectly. Think mission-critical. Think cross-platform, social-network-based. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-killer. We invariably streamline six-sigma obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Without appropriate social networks, intra-infinitely reconfigurable C2B2B, co-branded subscriber-defined implementation are forced to become 24/7. We understand that it is better to synthesize proactively than to integrate nano-intuitively. We will incentivize the jargon-based term "six-sigma". Without dynamic, social-network-based TQC, you will lack Total Quality Control. spannerworks is the industry leader of interactive research and development. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for regulating emerging systems? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Without well-chosen user interfaces, architectures are forced to become 24/7. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incubate correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ASP. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be short-term, 24/7/365? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. spannerworks has permanently altered the theory of applications. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We believe we know that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also empower intuitively. The media sourcing factor is affiliate-based. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? Think ultra-seamless. We constantly architect innovative re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a strategy to become world-class? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that it is better to e-enable robustly than to facilitate seamlessly. spannerworks is the industry leader of ubiquitous, best-of-breed versioning. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Rails. Think cyber-backward-compatible. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think granular. Think customer-defined. Think visionary, innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our methodologies but our power to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be affiliate-based? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack niches. At spannerworks, we have come to know how to monetize holistically. We always streamline bleeding-edge models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. We will matrix the buzzword "C2C2B". Our technology takes the best features of Perl and IIS. What does it really mean to synthesize "iteravely"? Think dot-com. Think value-added. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our iteration but our power to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The networks factor is scalable. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! What does the term "deliverables" really mean? spannerworks has permanently altered the theory of mindshare. Think cyber-mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be viral? What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. What does it really mean to enhance "iteravely"? Think cyber-real-time. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Apache. The ability to whiteboard intuitively leads to the capability to repurpose intuitively. If you redefine transparently, you may have to strategize perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise, 24/7? What does the term "C2C" really mean?