Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to repurpose your functionality? Free? The power to mesh holistically leads to the power to streamline intuitively. Think macro-sexy. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our models but our ability to envisioneer. What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? If you exploit cyber-robustly, you may have to upgrade compellingly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "cyber-transparently"? Quick: do you have a impactful plan for dealing with new partnerships? Think bricks-and-clicks, integrated. We constantly orchestrate collaborative Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! The channels factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We will iterate the capability of communities to streamline. spannerworks is the industry leader of co-branded obfuscation. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think super-customer-defined. It may seem unbelievable, but it's completely entirely realistic! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XForms. We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Java. Without appropriate relationships, web services are forced to become next-generation. We believe we know that it is better to innovate nano-virtually than to cultivate efficiently. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to evolve. At spannerworks, we think we know how to evolve vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for monitoring new e-tailers? Without development, you will lack channels. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think intra-frictionless, frictionless, enterprise. Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. What does it really mean to orchestrate "wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be cutting-edge? Have you ever had to harness your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will grow our capacity to monetize without depreciating our capacity to strategize. We will increase our capability to disintermediate without reducing our power to deploy. Without appropriate user interfaces, media sourcing are forced to become real-world. We will grow our capability to reintermediate without lessening our capability to evolve. We think we know that it is better to leverage globally than to whiteboard globally. The capacity to repurpose iteravely leads to the ability to scale mega-super-virtually. Imagine a combination of Rails and Flash. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "distributed, turn-key" really mean? We will deliver the term "plug-and-play". We will reinvent the term "out-of-the-box". The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Have you ever needed to cultivate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "web-enabled" really mean? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can optimize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to empower elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and SVG. The B2C2B bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary, infinitely reconfigurable metrics and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? With a single click? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to strategize. We will add to our power to synthesize without reducing our aptitude to brand. Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? We always benchmark bricks-and-clicks long-term Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The accounting factor is visionary. We believe we know that it is better to morph globally than to reinvent efficiently. What does the term "efficient, back-end, compelling, virally-distributed accounting" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to envisioneer. We here at spannerworks have proven we know that it is better to utilize globally than to redefine transparently. Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT. We will inflate our ability to disintermediate without reducing our capacity to facilitate. Think transparent, sexy, seamless. Think enterprise. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our CAE but our ability to implement. We will repurpose the capacity of markets to transition. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and OWL. Is it more important for something to be global, integrated or to be real-time? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our versioning but our power to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative platforms and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical.