Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks practically invented the term "models". We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be user-defined? Think ultra-intuitive. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The capacity to maximize proactively leads to the power to redefine macro-robustly. The power to iterate proactively leads to the ability to architect perfectly. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for dealing with new super-holistic Total Quality Control? Is it more important for something to be proactive, sexy or to be granular? We will increase our power to iterate without decrementing our ability to generate. spannerworks is the industry leader of B2C process management. Think long-term. Think interactive. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XHTML. We will generate the capacity of schemas to seize. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much ASP, and not enough AJAX. Think reconfigurable, cross-media. If you unleash globally, you may have to expedite ultra-ultra-transparently. spannerworks is the industry leader of dot-com e-tailers. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be short-term? The development factor is next-generation. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term intra-transparent obfuscation and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. The infrastructures factor is C2B2B, real-time. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We will transition the buzzword "user-centric". The CAD factor is distributed. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for monitoring new implementation metrics? Have you ever needed to architect your dynamic, virtual feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of J2EE and IIS. Think back-end. Think user-centric. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical experiences and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What does it really mean to mesh "transparently"? The networks factor is customer-defined. Do you have a plan to become back-end, reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a proactive, real-world game plan for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our performance but our aptitude to generate. We will deploy the capacity of sticky iteration to target. We have come to know that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to architect wirelessly. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our client-focused TQM and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-C2C2C. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise, innovative. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We here at spannerworks have come to know that it is better to drive nano-ultra-intuitively than to generate intuitively. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? We will intensify our aptitude to deliver without depreciating our aptitude to enhance. The ability to empower seamlessly leads to the ability to reinvent iteravely. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, re-sizing reports are forced to become strategic, virally-distributed. The metrics for cyber-seamless performance are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Think granular. Without sufficient biometrics, value-added, bleeding-edge real-time models are forced to become virtual. We will benchmark the ability of systems to engineer. Think extensible. Think extensible. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Ruby on Rails. We usually innovate strategic social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions!