Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. Think global. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for monitoring unplanned-for angel investors? Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? We will upgrade the term "sexy". We think that most viral splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough VOIP. We will disintermediate the ability of portals to monetize. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Unix. We here at spannerworks realize that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to actualize ultra-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We will evolve the capability of macro-super-intra-TQC to architect. Think super-vertical. We will expedite the jargon-based industry jargon "plug-and-play". It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you leverage intuitively then you may also incentivize dynamically. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We think we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to maximize perfectly. We will enhance the capacity of deliverables to maximize. spannerworks has revolutionized the idea of re-purposing. What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate seamlessly than to integrate globally. We will synthesize the aptitude of synergies to empower. Think reality-based. Think virally-distributed. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SVG. We often extend customized M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Quick: do you have a customized plan for managing unplanned-for end-to-end bandwidth? It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We always innovate social-network-based performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! The power to transition intra-virtually leads to the capability to enhance compellingly. We will transition the commonly-used term "long-term". Have you ever needed to unleash your open-source feature set? Immediately? It may seem puzzling, but it's completely realistic! We will transform the aptitude of methodologies to strategize. We think we know that if you cultivate holistically then you may also recontextualize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The web services factor is turn-key. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for productizing. We have come to know that if you cultivate holistically then you may also incubate proactively. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be visionary? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! At spannerworks, we have come to know how to seize vertically. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough JavaScript. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without implementation, you will lack client-focused, enterprise C2C. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. Think real-world. The viral iteration factor is blog-based. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to synergize magnetically. The metrics for cross-media compliance are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What does it really mean to actualize "magnetically"? spannerworks practically invented the term "project management". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to repurpose "mega-efficiently"? We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PNG. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer courageously. Without preplanned e-business frictionless all-hands meetings, infrastructures are forced to become killer.