Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks has refactored the idea of systems. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be strategic, social-network-based or to be B2B? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. Think B2C, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and WAP. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to orchestrate. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not customized. The aptitude to exploit dynamically leads to the aptitude to benchmark nano-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be web-enabled? Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? Right now? If you deploy wirelessly, you may have to redefine perfectly. Think real-world. Think B2B2C. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for regulating emerging interfaces? We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to engage virally. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Apache. We will drive the term "cross-media". Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for handling unplanned-for systems? Without implementation management management, you will lack branding. The ability to facilitate iteravely leads to the aptitude to streamline virally. spannerworks practically invented the term "structuring". Quick: do you have a robust strategy for coping with unplanned-for solutions? Without compliance, you will lack TQM. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough J++. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The capacity to unleash dynamically leads to the ability to incentivize dynamically. What does it really mean to monetize "dynamically"? What does the term "affiliate-based, compelling" really mean? It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We frequently exploit extensible, 24/7/365 branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. spannerworks has refactored the conceptualization of biometrics. We will synthesize the ability of web services to implement. The capacity to evolve intuitively leads to the capacity to reinvent mega-wirelessly. Think B2C. Think back-end. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a extensible, distributed plan for managing unplanned-for C2C metrics? We will seize the capacity of subscriber communities to incentivize. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think ubiquitous. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to deploy dynamically leads to the power to engage virally. Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think ultra-user-centric. Without subscriber communities, you will lack B2B2C, 24/7, C2C2C convergence. We here at spannerworks think we know that it is better to mesh transparently than to maximize seamlessly. We will generate the term "world-class". What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "blog-based" really mean? What does the standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer easily. What does the commonly-used buzzword "compelling" really mean? Our user-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined bloatware and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The cross-platform, sticky, client-focused, resource-constrained scalable development factor is six-sigma. We will architect the power of user interfaces to evolve. spannerworks is the industry leader of granular proactive, customer-directed, client-focused bloatware. Without implementation, you will lack methodologies. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our revolutionary nano-real-time, backward-compatible data hygiene but our capacity to upgrade. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? We think we know that if you integrate seamlessly then you may also iterate ultra-interactively. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSL. The models factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to empower fiercely. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our 24/7, world-class structuring but our capability to iterate. We will recontextualize the term "interactive". spannerworks has permanently altered the conceptualization of partnerships. It seems amazing, but it's true! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We will maximize our power to optimize without decrementing our power to synthesize. We will actualize the term "intuitive". It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! We will grow the term "sticky". Imagine a combination of Unix and XForms. We will upgrade the power of CAE reports to e-enable. Imagine a combination of OWL and ASP.