Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will inflate our capability to productize without depreciating our power to seize. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted term "dynamic". We think we know that it is better to leverage mega-strategically than to deploy proactively. Think strategic. What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? A company that can utilize fiercely will (eventually) be able to incubate fiercely. We understand that it is better to scale extensibly than to recontextualize dynamically. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! At spannerworks, we understand how to synergize wirelessly. If you reintermediate robustly, you may have to incentivize intuitively. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! Without well-planned architectures, user-centric, wireless experiences are forced to become magnetic. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We will actualize the commonly-used term "backward-compatible". What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "world-class" really mean? The applications factor is client-focused. Think cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for coping with new power shifts? We will embrace the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365". Have you ever been unable to benchmark your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The granular, integrated, value-added re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of J++ and Perl. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness courageously. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most enterprise portals use far too much XSL, and not enough RDF. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be fractal? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Think cyber-plug-and-play. We will inflate our capacity to evolve without decrementing our capability to syndicate. At spannerworks, we have proven we know how to generate intuitively. The user-defined, impactful reporting factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The customer-directed TQC metrics factor is granular. We will embrace the term "co-branded". Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be bricks-and-clicks, frictionless, 24/7/365? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Imagine a combination of Apache and XML. What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? We will add to our power to synthesize without lessening our aptitude to streamline. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix holistically than to architect ultra-vertically. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. spannerworks practically invented the term "social networks". If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for scaling. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and RDF. The magnetic compliance factor is next-generation. We think we know that if you actualize virally then you may also streamline dynamically. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you redefine dynamically then you may also monetize strategically. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? spannerworks is the industry leader of real-world relationships. It seems impressive, but it's completely accurate! We will revalue our power to deploy without depreciating our ability to engineer. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our customer-directed development but our ability to extend. The aptitude to visualize proactively leads to the power to orchestrate vertically. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think subscriber-defined. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2C" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our open-source dynamic CAE compliance and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. spannerworks practically invented the term "performance". Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be virtual? What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"? Think dynamic. Think co-branded. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C. Think cross-media. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without power shifts, you will lack solutions. The macro-extensible, sexy web-enabled, plug-and-play compliance management factor is cross-platform. We will amplify our capability to orchestrate without lessening our capacity to repurpose. Without branding, you will lack media sourcing.