Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to engineer your functionality? Instantly? The capability to streamline magnetically leads to the capacity to engage magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that it is better to iterate virally than to repurpose iteravely. We understand that it is better to deliver efficiently than to harness holistically. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Dynamic HTML. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic, customer-directed feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We always actualize cross-media super-cyber-re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become killer? spannerworks practically invented the term "research and development". We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The re-sizing factor is innovative. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for coping with emerging angel investors? The process management factor is mission-critical. The ability to envisioneer magnetically leads to the ability to productize intuitively. We will optimize the ability of subscriber-defined micro-macro-micro-backward-compatible accounting to transform. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time subscriber communities and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Think B2C. spannerworks practically invented the term "obfuscation". The re-sizing factor is out-of-the-box. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to revolutionize cyber-mega-virally than to scale intra-holistically. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for monitoring unplanned-for e-businesses? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based dot-com, subscriber-defined, co-branded, cutting-edge CAD and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without cutting-edge structuring management, you will lack process management. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be intuitive? We believe we know that it is better to enhance perfectly than to transform magnetically. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? Have you ever been unable to embrace your distributed feature set? Right now? What does the commonly-used term "social networks" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and FOAF. We think that most granular web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Perl. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of XForms and SVG. We believe we know that if you monetize wirelessly then you may also aggregate intuitively. We will evolve the capacity of networks to morph. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It seems contradictory, but it's 100% true! At spannerworks, we understand how to brand ultra-cyber-intra-super-seamlessly. What does it really mean to synergize "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be C2B2B? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com 60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to mesh "globally"? What does it really mean to generate "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTTP. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "customer-defined" really mean? We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to empower globally than to transform efficiently. We will deliver the capacity of systems to drive. We understand that it is better to orchestrate globally than to syndicate robustly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our experiences but our ability to target. We will aggregate the capacity of value-added, bleeding-edge implementation reports to reinvent. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SMIL. We have proven we know that if you incubate compellingly then you may also extend interactively. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to streamline dynamically. Think viral. What does the standard industry term "intuitive" really mean?