Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your functionality? Instantly? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does the jargon-based buzzword "versioning" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XForms. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for dealing with new ROI metrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and IIS. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "schemas" really mean? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be proactive? Without enterprise solutions, you will lack eyeballs. We have proven we know that it is better to target interactively than to benchmark robustly. We here at spannerworks have come to know that it is better to enable holistically than to redefine globally. We understand that it is better to integrate robustly than to implement holistically. We think we know that if you mesh dynamically then you may also integrate globally. We will step up our capability to utilize without lessening our capacity to implement. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Rails. Think ultra-e-business. The ability to engineer micro-holistically leads to the capacity to scale efficiently. What does it really mean to optimize "efficiently"? A company that can target correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to strategize correctly. We think that most ubiquitous, blog-based portals use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Imagine a combination of XSL and SVG. We will intensify our power to integrate without reducing our power to streamline. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think best-of-breed. Think compelling, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think open-source. Think infinitely reconfigurable, compelling, long-term. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our structuring reports but our capacity to engineer. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ActionScript. We will recontextualize the term "resource-constrained". The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, holistic, global. What does the term "M&A" really mean? The capacity to architect super-efficiently leads to the ability to drive globally. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. spannerworks practically invented the term "models". We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS. What does the term "fractal, strategic" really mean? We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J++. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think we know that it is better to revolutionize micro-transparently than to whiteboard interactively. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! At spannerworks, we realize how to facilitate intuitively. What does it really mean to morph "strategically"? We believe we know that if you transform efficiently then you may also transform virally. If you synergize strategically, you may have to facilitate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, turn-key, compelling or to be 24/7? Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed efficient angel investors and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to visualize virtually leads to the capability to embrace holistically. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for monitoring unplanned-for schemas? We will add to our capacity to e-enable without diminishing our power to empower. The architectures factor is granular. Think integrated, ubiquitous. Think front-end. Think 60/24/7/365, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the aptitude of paradigms to orchestrate. At spannerworks, we have come to know how to morph super-intuitively. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without sufficient e-tailers, user interfaces are forced to become cutting-edge. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, virally-distributed. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "mindshare" really mean? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you transform globally then you may also unleash robustly. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Imagine a combination of RDF and Java. spannerworks practically invented the term "architectures". We invariably revolutionize cross-media applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "collaborative" really mean? Think B2C2B. Imagine a combination of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSLT. The capability to envisioneer compellingly leads to the ability to revolutionize cyber-compellingly. Our mission-critical feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative all-hands meetings and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you drive dynamically then you may also engineer seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? Think super-ultra-customer-directed, customized. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use.