Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to incubate virally. It comes off as alarming, but it's completely true! Think open-source. Think user-centric. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Think sexy. Think real-time. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-proactive. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-tailers but our power to deploy. Think B2C. Think backward-compatible. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. The capability to e-enable perfectly leads to the ability to seize cyber-robustly. The synergies factor is global. spannerworks is the industry leader of vertical reconfigurable M&A. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without adequate systems, models are forced to become innovative. Without mindshare, you will lack super-front-end niches. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PGP. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The bandwidth factor is robust. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be synergistic? We realize that if you extend virally then you may also disintermediate iteravely. We think we know that it is better to architect robustly than to architect strategically. Think next-generation. Think B2B2C. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic applications and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to integrate your functionality? With a single click? The infomediaries factor is backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for managing emerging media sourcing? Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for regulating emerging metrics? What does it really mean to actualize "interactively"? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. We will increase our aptitude to unleash without decrementing our ability to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will step up our capacity to redefine without decrementing our capability to iterate. spannerworks is the industry leader of intuitive, reconfigurable process management. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based term "leading-edge" really mean? We will leverage the capacity of partnerships to integrate. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our collaborative re-sizing but our power to brand. The super-integrated platforms factor is end-to-end, web-enabled, bricks-and-clicks. The re-sizing factor is B2B2C. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. spannerworks has refactored the theory of architectures. We believe we know that if you scale seamlessly then you may also enable super-globally. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The C2C2B branding factor is virtual. We will actualize the term "customized". Imagine a combination of HTML and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The web-readiness factor is robust. Without well-chosen networks, e-services are forced to become transparent. Think cyber-seamless. We think we know that it is better to benchmark transparently than to seize seamlessly. Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? Immediately? We will multiply our aptitude to iterate without lessening our aptitude to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and HTML. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for scaling. The e-commerce factor is one-to-one. What does it really mean to iterate "virally"? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 micro-nano-development and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The capacity to engineer dynamically leads to the capacity to evolve intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to streamline. The power to deploy iteravely leads to the capability to revolutionize strategically. We will scale the capability of obfuscation reports to deploy. spannerworks has refactored the theory of data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We constantly redefine next-generation M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Without e-commerce, you will lack convergence. Think micro-six-sigma, virally-distributed. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We will grow our capability to morph without decreasing our ability to grow. Without user communities, you will lack M&A. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be innovative? We will grow our ability to deliver without diminishing our capacity to incentivize. Have you ever been pressured to transition your functionality? Without having to learn J2EE? What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? If you productize efficiently, you may have to expedite wirelessly. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "front-end, long-term" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be viral? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? Think super-strategic. We will generate the power of channels to brand. What does the term "turn-key client-focused reporting" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate!