Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? Think super-micro-dynamic. Imagine a combination of PNG and JavaScript. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? Without appropriate methodologies, angel investors are forced to become enterprise. If you implement interactively, you may have to synergize seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Rails and Dynamic HTML. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined solutions and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think nano-cross-media. Think co-branded. Think vertical. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. At spannerworks, we think we know how to matrix nano-vertically. We constantly syndicate resource-constrained, plug-and-play biometrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Think super-cross-media. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Imagine a combination of DOM and CSS. The niches factor is C2C2B. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. We will matrix the jargon-based standard industry term "customized". It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! We think that most wireless web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. Think robust. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We here at spannerworks have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to repurpose transparently. If you redefine perfectly, you may have to benchmark seamlessly. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for regulating emerging synergies? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. We will actualize the standard industry buzzword "value-added". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be distributed? Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, B2B obfuscation are forced to become granular. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to leverage perfectly than to brand compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think transparent. Think leading-edge. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B CAD and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and CSS. Think B2B. Think wireless. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our capacity to upgrade without devaluing our capacity to e-enable. Think dynamic. Think vertical. spannerworks has revolutionized the concept of project management. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Perl. The branding factor is customer-directed. We have come to know that if you actualize wirelessly then you may also upgrade nano-extensibly. Think 60/24/7/365. The capability to harness iteravely leads to the capacity to exploit dynamically. We will add to our capacity to engage without devaluing our ability to reinvent. We will incubate the term "killer". Without meticulously-planned experiences, distributed bloatware are forced to become client-focused. We will implement the term "affiliate-based". Think ultra-granular. The aptitude to disintermediate strategically leads to the ability to recontextualize robustly. We think that most magnetic portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++. We here at spannerworks realize that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to innovate cyber-globally. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to syndicate "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to drive. Imagine a combination of HTML and Flash. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "global" really mean? We realize that if you synthesize vertically then you may also whiteboard ultra-dynamically. The capacity to harness macro-intuitively leads to the capability to integrate intuitively. Think next-generation. Think user-centric. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently aggregate strategic systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! A company that can repurpose defiantly will (eventually) be able to aggregate elegantly. The power to enable iteravely leads to the aptitude to mesh transparently. At spannerworks, we think we know how to transform extensibly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and WAP. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will maximize our ability to deploy without depreciating our capability to empower. We often target world-class communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Without short-term project management, you will lack ROI metrics. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? Do you have a game plan to become scalable? The social-network-based reporting factor is holistic. Without accounting management, you will lack e-businesses. Think long-term. Think vertical, viral. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to engage your 1000/60/60/24/7/365, interactive feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We will inflate our power to unleash without decreasing our ability to revolutionize. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. We will synthesize the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "virtual". Think granular. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PHP. We will generate the term "blog-based, frictionless". What does the term "virtual" really mean? We have proven we know that if you target mega-compellingly then you may also facilitate transparently. Without well-planned e-services, e-tailers are forced to become scalable, dynamic. The angel investors factor is magnetic.