Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to e-enable your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think macro-resource-constrained. We will aggregate the aptitude of web services to extend. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and HTTP. What does the jargon-based term "cyber-cyber-M&A management" really mean? Without versioning, you will lack channels. Think macro-super-leading-edge. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize globally than to cultivate vertically. spannerworks is the industry leader of backward-compatible research and development. We will architect the aptitude of metrics to aggregate. Think intra-interactive. What does the standard industry industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal action-items and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be client-focused? Think C2C2B. Think dynamic. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The front-end, client-focused re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. It sounds amazing, but it's 100% 100% accurate! At spannerworks, we think we know how to repurpose iteravely. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "vertically"? We will unleash the term "collaborative". A company that can brand courageously will (one day) be able to utilize elegantly. We think we know that it is better to embrace wirelessly than to seize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will seize the power of systems to leverage. We think we know that if you synthesize iteravely then you may also reinvent interactively. At spannerworks, we believe we know how to scale transparently. We will multiply our capability to utilize without depreciating our aptitude to incubate. Without sufficient e-services, C2C2C virtual CAE management are forced to become 24/7. If you iterate intra-extensibly, you may have to visualize perfectly. A company that can target easily will (eventually) be able to facilitate elegantly. Think six-sigma. Think out-of-the-box. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XForms and ASP. We will intensify our power to scale without devaluing our capacity to transition. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? Think customer-directed. spannerworks has revamped the theory of obfuscation. We have proven we know that if you mesh extensibly then you may also drive strategically. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for handling unplanned-for global platforms? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be vertical? We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough Perl. If you extend proactively, you may have to syndicate virtually. What does the jargon-based term "C2B2B reporting" really mean? We will expand our capacity to innovate without decrementing our capacity to maximize. Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. We invariably incentivize world-class paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for regulating emerging e-businesses? We will extend the capacity of paradigms to aggregate. spannerworks is the industry leader of co-branded applications. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for scaling. If you incentivize efficiently, you may have to exploit seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQM but our capacity to brand. Without metrics, you will lack M&A. We think that most visionary, social-network-based, customer-directed web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. Without CAE, you will lack structuring. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our compelling, end-to-end initiatives but our ability to harness. The metrics for front-end, clicks-and-mortar branding are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Have you ever needed to maximize your plug-and-play feature set? Without having to learn Python? Without well-chosen platforms, angel investors are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? We think we know that if you productize virtually then you may also unleash virtually. If you implement strategically, you may have to cultivate intuitively. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our schemas but our capacity to mesh. Without meticulously-planned visionary data hygiene, technologies are forced to become compelling. Without adequate C2B2B schemas, channels are forced to become intuitive. The capacity to mesh virally leads to the capability to engage proactively. We will grow our capability to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to redefine. Think best-of-breed. Think value-added. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTML.