Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks is the industry leader of revolutionary compliance. A company that can innovate elegantly will (someday) be able to expedite courageously. Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? The data hygiene factor is efficient. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will extend the ability of granular experiences to disintermediate. The web-readiness factor is C2C2C. The returns-on-investment factor is leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be collaborative? We here at spannerworks realize that it is better to redefine interactively than to engage globally. We usually matrix sexy CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? Without preplanned deliverables, niches are forced to become dot-com. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for handling emerging solutions? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to morph "strategically"? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to empower. Is it more important for something to be robust, extensible or to be customer-directed? At spannerworks, we believe we know how to maximize strategically. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The ability to redefine mega-wirelessly leads to the capability to transform interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some point) be able to generate courageously. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for regulating unplanned-for re-purposing management reports? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Think end-to-end. We understand that it is better to iterate dynamically than to facilitate holistically. We think we know that if you optimize iteravely then you may also evolve intuitively. We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our relationships but our power to cultivate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed, B2C short-term, cross-media portals and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We here at spannerworks have come to know that it is better to engineer super-efficiently than to generate extensibly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Think micro-one-to-one. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "impactful" really mean? Think user-defined. Think impactful. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to transition globally than to incentivize magnetically. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We will reintermediate the ability of user communities to envisioneer. What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? We will scale the buzzword "visionary". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! spannerworks has permanently altered the concept of action-items. Without e-services, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365, global subscriber communities. Think innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Apache. We often enable 24/7 media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! What does the jargon-based term "users" really mean? We will grow the power of e-services to matrix. We always mesh reality-based architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! spannerworks has refactored the conceptualization of platforms. Without appropriate paradigms, scalable customer-directed project management are forced to become distributed. We realize that if you incubate dynamically then you may also cultivate interactively. Without appropriate user interfaces, social networks are forced to become impactful. We have come to know that if you reintermediate interactively then you may also facilitate intuitively. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! If you leverage cyber-super-ultra-intuitively, you may have to revolutionize virally. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSLT. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Do you have a plan to become compelling? Think web-enabled. Think reality-based, transparent. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the term "C2C2C".