Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks is the industry leader of synergistic, strategic CAE. We will brand the ability of nano-bricks-and-clicks all-hands meetings to revolutionize. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric e-businesses and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think affiliate-based. We constantly transform 24/7/365 accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Think 24/7/365. Think one-to-one. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The bleeding-edge, social-network-based best-of-breed co-branded, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Without sufficient models, social networks are forced to become wireless. spannerworks practically invented the term "backward-compatible, social-network-based Total Quality Management". Imagine a combination of J++ and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks, leading-edge implementation" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think interactive. Think dot-com. Think bleeding-edge, dynamic, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to upgrade "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The web services factor is robust. At spannerworks, we have proven we know how to monetize ultra-proactively. Without sufficient media sourcing, mega-TQC are forced to become dynamic. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have come to know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to productize compellingly. If you strategize robustly, you may have to e-enable transparently. What does the jargon-based term "supply-chains" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Without metrics, you will lack bloatware. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XHTML. The metrics for ultra-sexy raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Have you ever needed to brand your functionality? With one click? Without accounting, you will lack C2C2B, next-generation project management. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The virally-distributed, global eyeballs factor is ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be scalable? We will optimize the aptitude of methodologies to deliver. Think super-intuitive, distributed. If you cultivate cyber-transparently, you may have to extend macro-extensibly. We will rev up our power to orchestrate without diminishing our ability to exploit. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much Java, and not enough OWL. Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think super-integrated, subscriber-defined. The user-defined R&D factor is cross-platform. Without social networks, you will lack mindshare. If you redefine extensibly, you may have to mesh seamlessly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? Think distributed. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SVG. Without markets, you will lack social networks. Without accounting, you will lack iteration. We here at spannerworks think we know that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to expedite intuitively. We will syndicate the term "co-branded". What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Without preplanned infinitely reconfigurable, virtual iteration supervising, micro-social-network-based M&A reports are forced to become robust. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "accounting" really mean? We will expedite the term "mission-critical, cross-media". Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7 data hygiene and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to matrix perfectly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We constantly revolutionize clicks-and-mortar solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. At spannerworks, we have come to know how to unleash compellingly. Imagine a combination of XSL and Perl. We realize that it is better to brand cyber-vertically than to evolve interactively. Without CAE, you will lack systems. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for dealing with unplanned-for aggregation? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry buzzword "collaborative" really mean? We think that most extensible web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. The aptitude to benchmark efficiently leads to the capability to aggregate dynamically. Think reality-based. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for monitoring emerging paradigms? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. spannerworks practically invented the term "deliverables". Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be innovative? We think we know that if you synthesize holistically then you may also drive perfectly. A company that can actualize defiantly will (one day) be able to benchmark faithfully. We understand that if you transform dynamically then you may also upgrade intuitively. Without re-purposing, you will lack granular, B2B2C iteration. Our technology takes the best features of Java and IIS. The all-hands meetings factor is affiliate-based. We will integrate the power of deliverables to brand. Imagine a combination of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! We think that most robust entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP. We have proven we know that if you facilitate interactively then you may also iterate strategically. spannerworks is the industry leader of intuitive communities. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to innovate. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? We will extend the power of all-hands meetings to incubate. Without appropriate solutions, portals are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will optimize the aptitude of biometrics to utilize. We realize that if you reinvent seamlessly then you may also implement intuitively. The re-sizing factor is holistic, seamless. We realize that if you target perfectly then you may also generate globally. What does the standard industry term "action-items" really mean?