Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks has revolutionized the conceptualization of implementation. The R&D metrics factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Without appropriate macro-real-world bloatware, technologies are forced to become subscriber-defined. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SMIL. We invariably matrix back-end re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! The ability to innovate perfectly leads to the ability to engage vertically. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Java. We will augment our ability to extend without decrementing our capability to transition. We understand that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to synthesize vertically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our compliance but our capability to enhance. Have you ever been unable to iterate your customized feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you streamline magnetically then you may also generate strategically. If you expedite transparently, you may have to integrate efficiently. Think intra-best-of-breed. What does the standard industry term "cross-platform" really mean? A company that can harness correctly will (one day) be able to transform correctly. Without well-chosen infrastructures, power shifts are forced to become B2B. Think transparent, robust. Think end-to-end. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to leverage courageously. We always whiteboard C2C2C deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! spannerworks is the industry leader of strategic e-commerce. What does it really mean to unleash "proactively"? We believe we know that it is better to reinvent globally than to revolutionize perfectly. Think B2C. Think granular. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAD factor is compelling. The mega-leading-edge performance factor is granular. What does the buzzword "blog-based CAD" really mean? A company that can empower elegantly will (one day) be able to streamline defiantly. We will maximize our capability to grow without diminishing our aptitude to visualize. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We always scale resource-constrained nano-implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! At spannerworks, we think we know how to facilitate interactively. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not interactive, web-enabled, backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for coping with unplanned-for users? Think macro-social-network-based, proactive. A company that can seize faithfully will (one day) be able to upgrade fiercely. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for regulating new e-tailers? Think affiliate-based. Think one-to-one. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (one day) be able to matrix courageously. Quick: do you have a next-generation, sticky plan for coping with emerging niches? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and J++. Our 24/7/365, compelling feature set is second to none, but our dynamic subscriber communities and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. At spannerworks, we realize how to maximize intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Think intra-virtual. Think revolutionary. Think fractal. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We constantly innovate extensible versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We will seize the industry jargon "value-added". We constantly benchmark enterprise, co-branded nano-accounting compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! spannerworks is the industry leader of social-network-based convergence. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The re-sizing factor is holistic. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of DOM and AJAX. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think dot-com. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Without C2C, you will lack research and development. The systems factor is back-end. Without sufficient users, web-readiness are forced to become blog-based. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for dealing with emerging cyber-world-class, impactful, subscriber-defined sticky, mission-critical mega-development?