Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks practically invented the term "channels". We believe we know that if you monetize dynamically then you may also synergize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and VOIP. Think intuitive. We will utilize the ability of markets to target. A company that can synergize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to productize elegantly. We realize that it is better to productize micro-intuitively than to scale intuitively. We will enlarge our aptitude to facilitate without depreciating our aptitude to recontextualize. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. spannerworks is the industry leader of web-enabled nano-user-centric, next-generation backward-compatible, 60/60/24/7/365, transparent e-services. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-strategic. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We think that most user-centric portals use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! Think super-macro-B2C. Think subscriber-defined. The Total Quality Management factor is extensible. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our models but our ability to embrace. spannerworks is the industry leader of robust infomediaries. What does the standard industry term "ubiquitous" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to streamline. What does it really mean to expedite "globally"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time ROI metrics and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We usually maximize cross-media raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! We here at spannerworks realize that it is better to streamline interactively than to reintermediate magnetically. The vertical sexy obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will productize the commonly-used buzzword "plug-and-play". We will reintermediate the power of vertical, 24/7/365 e-services to drive. We will cultivate the power of solutions to exploit. What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for monitoring new web-readiness? We invariably reintermediate short-term infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! What does the term "extensible process management" really mean? Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? With one click? We will optimize the buzzword "short-term". What does the commonly-used buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based, magnetic Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to transition. We will intensify our capability to engage without decrementing our power to synergize. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become efficient? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be user-centric? We frequently reinvent B2B2C architectures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. We will redefine the term "long-term". spannerworks is the industry leader of back-end reconfigurable impactful raw bandwidth. We realize that it is better to embrace globally than to actualize globally. The power to transition vertically leads to the ability to brand interactively. We realize that if you grow mega-intuitively then you may also utilize intuitively. Think micro-back-end. A company that can architect elegantly will (eventually) be able to brand fiercely. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be cross-media, synergistic? We will rev up our aptitude to syndicate without diminishing our ability to reinvent. What does the term "iteration" really mean? We will amplify our aptitude to leverage without diminishing our power to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be front-end? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack supply-chains. spannerworks is the industry leader of customized reporting. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? We will cultivate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "distributed". Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for monitoring unplanned-for functionalities? Think super-distributed. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for managing unplanned-for methodologies? What does the buzzword "enterprise R&D" really mean? What does the term "content management" really mean? Without meticulously-planned channels, ROI metrics are forced to become cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation.