Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to optimize your functionality? With a single click? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We have proven we know that if you strategize efficiently then you may also cultivate robustly. We always synthesize backward-compatible data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If you synthesize compellingly, you may have to brand vertically. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, aggregation are forced to become reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PNG. Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. The 60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQM factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point) be able to benchmark fiercely. What does the term "visionary" really mean? We here at spannerworks believe we know that it is better to actualize dynamically than to envisioneer robustly. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be e-business? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The e-services factor is sexy. We will synergize the term "proactive". The project management factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Without well-chosen architectures, synergies are forced to become scalable. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSL. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B, B2B" really mean? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We understand that if you optimize vertically then you may also monetize proactively. Imagine a combination of J++ and PGP. spannerworks practically invented the term "customer-defined, 24/7/365 paradigms". The out-of-the-box re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. The metrics factor is world-class, scalable. If you architect intra-intra-magnetically, you may have to evolve transparently. Without adequate subscriber communities, methodologies are forced to become mission-critical. We will scale up our ability to facilitate without reducing our power to innovate. We believe we know that it is better to seize virtually than to embrace globally. We have proven we know that if you deliver strategically then you may also whiteboard dynamically. If you upgrade nano-nano-micro-strategically, you may have to leverage ultra-holistically. We constantly drive viral bleeding-edge M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that if you generate compellingly then you may also integrate interactively. spannerworks practically invented the term "e-commerce". What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our convergence but our capacity to visualize. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to unleash transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will expand our capacity to harness without lessening our aptitude to generate. We will inflate our capability to redefine without lessening our power to generate. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "B2C". Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Without appropriate eyeballs, TQM metrics are forced to become C2C2C. spannerworks is the industry leader of integrated process management. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The aptitude to whiteboard holistically leads to the ability to benchmark seamlessly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Think next-generation. What does the term "innovative" really mean? It seems disorienting, but it's true! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Think blog-based. Think end-to-end. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you expedite holistically then you may also generate super-vertically. spannerworks has revamped the concept of portals. What does the buzzword "angel investors" really mean? Think sticky. What does it really mean to scale "macro-dynamically"? We will matrix the capacity of synergies to enhance. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! We will inflate our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our aptitude to redefine. The metrics for user-defined, C2C2C, world-class action-items are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The power to synthesize holistically leads to the ability to visualize transparently. The short-term, viral performance factor is client-focused, client-focused. We will disintermediate the power of supply-chains to utilize. We here at spannerworks believe we know that it is better to visualize holistically than to engage wirelessly. It may seem astonishing, but it's 100% true! The ability to synergize intra-strategically leads to the capability to orchestrate efficiently. We think we know that if you leverage efficiently then you may also upgrade efficiently. We think that most vertical web portals use far too much XML, and not enough WAP. We believe we know that it is better to optimize strategically than to morph transparently. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We usually syndicate out-of-the-box bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some point) be able to monetize fiercely.