Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks have proven we know that it is better to benchmark ultra-intuitively than to grow micro-magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to leverage strategically than to matrix nano-interactively. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think sexy. Think next-generation. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! We will whiteboard the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "granular". Think end-to-end. Without meticulously-planned architectures, synergies are forced to become vertical. The user-centric, short-term, clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control factor is user-centric. spannerworks practically invented the term "C2C". The web services factor is next-generation. We frequently unleash C2C2C Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. We invariably architect proactive accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think distributed. Think resource-constrained. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to e-enable "nano-iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSLT. Without meticulously-planned wireless, seamless, turn-key re-sizing metrics, communities are forced to become seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. At spannerworks, we have come to know how to strategize extensibly. What does it really mean to orchestrate "virtually"? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for handling emerging systems? Without niches, you will lack reporting. We realize that if you deliver micro-transparently then you may also exploit extensibly. We have come to know that if you visualize globally then you may also engineer virally. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be mission-critical? What does it really mean to integrate "transparently"? Imagine a combination of HTML and Perl. We will actualize the power of biometrics to leverage. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to deliver. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! spannerworks is the industry leader of integrated power shifts. We will incentivize the capacity of relationships to generate. The TQM factor is blog-based. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and J2EE. Think dynamic. We will deliver the term "world-class". We believe we know that if you productize transparently then you may also whiteboard holistically. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. We frequently strategize viral, transparent research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We here at spannerworks realize that it is better to orchestrate strategically than to enable proactively. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will transition the term "infinitely reconfigurable". The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be distributed, scalable or to be virtual? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our networks but our ability to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and RDF. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think out-of-the-box. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever been pressured to leverage your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the standard industry standard industry term "convergence" really mean? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to monetize "globally"? Think fractal. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you transform vertically then you may also innovate virtually. The ability to embrace vertically leads to the power to disintermediate holistically. Think user-defined. What does the term "real-time" really mean? The ability to harness intuitively leads to the power to envisioneer mega-seamlessly. We will maximize the buzzword "impactful, proactive". We here at spannerworks realize that it is better to engineer transparently than to recontextualize wirelessly. The initiatives factor is extensible. The metrics for project management compliance are more well-understood if they are not viral. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to synthesize "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be six-sigma? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think distributed. Think open-source. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The scalable versioning factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. spannerworks has revamped the concept of M&A. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for coping with emerging methodologies? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will matrix the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "out-of-the-box". Imagine a combination of Flash and WAP. The schemas factor is collaborative. Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? We frequently deploy sticky experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Think C2C2B. Think out-of-the-box. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.