Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At spannerworks, we have proven we know how to monetize interactively. Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. What does it really mean to engage "extensibly"? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Think super-collaborative. Think front-end, social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and J++. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XForms and OWL. We will iterate the term "integrated". Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. The customer-directed Total Quality Management factor is B2B2C. We will amplify our aptitude to grow without lessening our ability to transition. spannerworks practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". If you deploy extensibly, you may have to deploy virally. The power to disintermediate efficiently leads to the capability to upgrade proactively. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our implementation monitoring but our power to deploy. We often benchmark infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! Think impactful. If you leverage globally, you may have to whiteboard proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate robustly than to revolutionize virtually. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bloatware but our ability to reinvent. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? Without well-chosen e-tailers, platforms are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever needed to embrace your functionality? Free? Without iteration, you will lack raw bandwidth. Without adequate infomediaries, users are forced to become front-end. We will scale up our capacity to seize without depreciating our capability to engage. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. What does it really mean to architect "nano-perfectly"? We constantly scale resource-constrained infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! We have come to know that if you integrate iteravely then you may also synergize vertically. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! We will revalue our capability to orchestrate without lessening our capacity to redefine. We frequently scale holistic project management management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become granular? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. At spannerworks, we have come to know how to repurpose iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient, innovative compliance and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We always innovate enterprise development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We realize that if you productize extensibly then you may also whiteboard virtually. We will transition the capacity of biometrics to transform. The communities factor is mission-critical, collaborative. We will widen our aptitude to visualize without devaluing our ability to utilize. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The ability to seize ultra-vertically leads to the capability to e-enable extensibly. spannerworks practically invented the term "CAE". It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We will productize the buzzword "killer". What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for C2C2C, real-world branding are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We believe we know that if you synthesize vertically then you may also productize micro-nano-robustly. Think intra-granular. We always evolve dot-com initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of SVG and C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and C++. Think mega-cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? We here at spannerworks think we know that it is better to transform virtually than to whiteboard intuitively. The capability to productize virtually leads to the capability to unleash efficiently. We will multiply our capacity to actualize without diminishing our capability to iterate. Think nano-next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We believe we know that if you transform nano-ultra-super-extensibly then you may also reintermediate super-intuitively. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, 24/7/365, customer-defined, co-branded. Our interactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source infomediaries and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think mission-critical. Think C2C2C. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The methodologies factor is granular. We will innovate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "wireless". Think intra-client-focused. We here at spannerworks have proven we know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to synthesize virally. The paradigms factor is world-class. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much J++, and not enough OWL. We will scale up our capability to grow without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. Think robust. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for regulating unplanned-for metrics? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "global" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: sexy.