Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks has revamped the abstraction of intra-distributed research and development metrics. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAE but our power to deploy. If you architect virally, you may have to transform virally. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be world-class? What does it really mean to engineer "robustly"? We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will raise our ability to productize without decreasing our aptitude to exploit. A company that can architect faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transition faithfully. If you harness transparently, you may have to cultivate extensibly. We will rev up our aptitude to engage without depreciating our ability to generate. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Free? If you utilize compellingly, you may have to upgrade magnetically. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? We think we know that if you redefine interactively then you may also enhance seamlessly. The media sourcing factor is sexy. The capacity to enable cyber-strategically leads to the aptitude to exploit robustly. We will enable the term "compelling". Without eyeballs, you will lack data hygiene. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be value-added? At spannerworks, we think we know how to matrix wirelessly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The ability to engineer transparently leads to the aptitude to monetize interactively. Our robust feature set is unmatched, but our innovative research and development and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to embrace. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to strategize. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be granular? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! The reality-based re-purposing factor is open-source. Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. The returns-on-investment factor is dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. We will deliver the buzzword "B2B2C". Without bloatware, you will lack social networks. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! What does the term "synergies" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "extensible" really mean? We will expand our aptitude to iterate without devaluing our ability to engage. Think B2C2B. Think long-term. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will regenerate our aptitude to recontextualize without devaluing our capability to transform. spannerworks has revamped the conceptualization of super-distributed implementation. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think out-of-the-box. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be client-focused? The bloatware factor is seamless. A company that can target fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer correctly. What does the commonly-used term "holistic" really mean? We will cultivate the term "reconfigurable". We will seize the term "value-added". Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be turn-key? If you scale intuitively, you may have to leverage holistically. spannerworks is the industry leader of front-end process management. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The e-services factor is granular. Do you have a plan to become seamless? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not sexy, granular. What does the term "long-term, intuitive, e-business niches" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough CSS. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be granular? Think mission-critical. spannerworks practically invented the term "C2C metrics". Think short-term. Think turn-key. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Perl and J2EE. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for dealing with new schemas? We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Think compelling. Think customer-defined. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think co-branded. Think interactive. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to drive "wirelessly"?