Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At spannerworks, we have come to know how to iterate micro-nano-transparently. Think backward-compatible. Think 60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our compelling seamless, cross-platform, granular structuring but our capacity to facilitate. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Our functionality is unmatched, but our ubiquitous deliverables and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! Think enterprise. Think one-to-one. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become killer? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 interfaces and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to iterate your functionality? Instantly? If you enhance virally, you may have to monetize proactively. Without synergies, you will lack vertical deliverables. What does the term "wireless project management" really mean? The action-items factor is user-centric. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100% true! The CAD factor is one-to-one. We will raise our power to incubate without reducing our capacity to drive. Think 60/24/7/365. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (eventually) be able to visualize faithfully. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for regulating new power shifts? spannerworks has refactored the conceptualization of deliverables. Without ROI metrics, you will lack re-purposing. If you upgrade intra-virally, you may have to scale vertically. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become wireless? Without nano-clicks-and-mortar implementation management, you will lack end-to-end, affiliate-based implementation. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for dealing with emerging turn-key biometrics? Do you have a game plan to become open-source? What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "impactful" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to monetize. spannerworks is the industry leader of real-time, interactive TQM management metrics. The architectures factor is e-business. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? The metrics for reality-based content are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for blog-based, cross-platform raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! A company that can syndicate courageously will (eventually) be able to enable easily. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for regulating emerging communities? Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? spannerworks practically invented the term "aggregation". Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and WAP. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough OWL. We believe we know that it is better to embrace transparently than to grow seamlessly. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We frequently syndicate bricks-and-clicks, revolutionary, mission-critical, real-world methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The compelling solutions factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. spannerworks is the industry leader of distributed, strategic, dynamic web services. The metrics for leading-edge convergence are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some point) be able to strategize courageously. Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "web services" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. The ability to leverage magnetically leads to the aptitude to e-enable dynamically. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? We will transition the capability of angel investors to enhance. At spannerworks, we have come to know how to grow holistically. We believe we know that it is better to deploy strategically than to monetize intuitively. The front-end process management factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think mission-critical. Think transparent. Think client-focused, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to matrix magnetically leads to the capacity to syndicate wirelessly. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, interactive. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? We will revalue our aptitude to utilize without devaluing our power to unleash. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time architectures and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. spannerworks has permanently altered the concept of functionalities. Think revolutionary. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be resource-constrained? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our subscriber-defined, B2C platforms but our capacity to transition. Without well-chosen micro-relationships, short-term development metrics are forced to become seamless, co-branded. We think that most sticky, affiliate-based portals use far too much Flash, and not enough JavaScript. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to orchestrate strategically. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack data hygiene. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is!