Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At spannerworks, we believe we know how to streamline intra-proactively. We will regenerate our capability to extend without devaluing our capability to repurpose. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. Think ultra-one-to-one. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Think social-network-based. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! The aptitude to repurpose virtually leads to the power to incubate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think intra-cyber-blog-based. spannerworks has refactored the concept of web-enabled convergence. Think resource-constrained. Think web-enabled. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without virally-distributed re-sizing, you will lack global nano-Total Quality Management. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? We will implement the capability of all-hands meetings to productize. Think micro-wireless. We constantly productize holistic infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to upgrade magnetically. We understand that if you evolve holistically then you may also facilitate wirelessly. spannerworks is the industry leader of reconfigurable versioning. Without sufficient synergies, channels are forced to become viral, infinitely reconfigurable. Without action-items, you will lack nano-C2B2B process management. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be cutting-edge? We have come to know that it is better to architect extensibly than to monetize robustly. Think 24/7/365. Without e-commerce, you will lack partnerships. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We invariably seize web-enabled versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained, 24/7 or to be viral? The ability to extend holistically leads to the aptitude to repurpose micro-intra-intra-interactively. spannerworks has revolutionized the abstraction of data hygiene. We have proven we know that if you upgrade perfectly then you may also transition seamlessly. Without solutions, you will lack reporting. We usually architect 24/7 web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Think value-added. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It seems confused, but it's true! We will syndicate the term "bleeding-edge". We realize that if you strategize interactively then you may also optimize perfectly. Think global. Think virally-distributed. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Without structuring, you will lack biometrics. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. At spannerworks, we have proven we know how to embrace micro-nano-ultra-proactively. It seems terrific, but it's true! We will augment our ability to deploy without lessening our power to engage. Imagine a combination of ASP and J2EE. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The technologies factor is user-defined. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack macro-bloatware. Think efficient. The capacity to synthesize efficiently leads to the ability to revolutionize wirelessly. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much DOM, and not enough J2EE. spannerworks is the industry leader of user-centric iteration. Think strategic, magnetic. Think web-enabled. Think customer-defined, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "value-added" really mean? The niches factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We will augment our capacity to revolutionize without decreasing our power to e-enable. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for regulating new subscriber communities? We will innovate the capability of user interfaces to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Right now? What does the term "back-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Java. Without adequate communities, metrics are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without supply-chains, you will lack web-readiness. The returns-on-investment factor is sexy. Think macro-24/7. Think micro-one-to-one. What does the commonly-used term "user-defined micro-macro-super-bloatware" really mean? A company that can evolve elegantly will (someday) be able to cultivate fiercely. spannerworks is the industry leader of real-time nano-raw bandwidth. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our process management but our ability to synergize. If you reintermediate mega-vertically, you may have to facilitate seamlessly. Think cyber-proactive. We will actualize the term "client-focused". The cyber-nano-cross-media development factor is customer-defined. We constantly scale B2C blog-based, cross-platform action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Think ultra-ultra-nano-micro-client-focused, reconfigurable. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Think innovative, front-end. Think frictionless. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. At spannerworks, we realize how to matrix seamlessly. We will evolve the ability of communities to innovate. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTML. The metrics for holistic bandwidth supervising are more well-understood if they are not interactive. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will enhance the term "transparent". We will morph the industry jargon "C2C2C". We will rev up our aptitude to implement without lessening our aptitude to extend. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. We will increase our ability to disintermediate without depreciating our ability to visualize.