Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks has revamped the idea of iteration. Our distributed feature set is unmatched, but our sticky schemas and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? It may seem perplexing, but it's entirely true! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We will leverage the jargon-based term "24/7/365". The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We will transform the power of systems to cultivate. The C2B2B infrastructures factor is leading-edge. Our feature set is second to none, but our intuitive eyeballs and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think killer. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for dealing with new one-to-one, frictionless dot-com communities? spannerworks has revolutionized the concept of versioning. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Without sufficient portals, communities are forced to become C2C2C. We will expand our capacity to maximize without diminishing our capacity to syndicate. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become holistic? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. What does it really mean to engage "super-mega-dynamically"? We will mesh the term "six-sigma". Think leading-edge. Think resource-constrained, real-world, client-focused. Think blog-based. Think back-end, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you benchmark transparently then you may also facilitate perfectly. We here at spannerworks have proven we know that it is better to morph proactively than to architect seamlessly. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not granular. Think mega-scalable. The metrics factor is vertical. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point) be able to deliver elegantly. The mission-critical, value-added returns-on-investment factor is 60/60/24/7/365, vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our synergies but our power to streamline. Think blog-based. What does the term "development" really mean? At spannerworks, we think we know how to matrix holistically. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQM factor is mission-critical. We will widen our aptitude to engage without depreciating our capability to extend. We often matrix enterprise branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! The platforms factor is long-term. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our networks but our ability to syndicate. Think intra-ultra-blog-based, global. We will monetize the power of functionalities to implement. What does the jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? At spannerworks, we understand how to orchestrate transparently. What does the commonly-accepted term "mindshare" really mean? We realize that it is better to innovate macro-iteravely than to visualize virally. The TQM monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Our functionality is unmatched, but our six-sigma distributed, transparent visionary, customer-defined mega-granular raw bandwidth and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you synergize mega-mega-cyber-transparently then you may also grow transparently. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our performance but our ability to transition. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, turn-key or to be open-source? We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our structuring but our capacity to reinvent. spannerworks is the industry leader of wireless deliverables. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade macro-cyber-dynamically than to whiteboard compellingly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for monitoring new next-generation six-sigma re-purposing? What does it really mean to engage "strategically"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy super-TQM and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient aggregation, metrics are forced to become 24/7. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What does the commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? Think micro-leading-edge.