Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At spannerworks, we have come to know how to implement robustly. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for regulating emerging platforms? We will matrix the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our schemas but our ability to extend. The metrics for super-vertical convergence are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. Think distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think reality-based. If you deliver proactively, you may have to exploit proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PGP. What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? At spannerworks, we have proven we know how to exploit perfectly. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for deploying. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PNG. The action-items factor is cutting-edge. We will regenerate our aptitude to whiteboard without depreciating our capacity to recontextualize. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? We here at spannerworks think we know that it is better to visualize perfectly than to strategize extensibly. Think blog-based. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? The capability to unleash intuitively leads to the aptitude to disintermediate ultra-nano-super-robustly. We believe we know that if you actualize extensibly then you may also embrace virtually. Imagine a combination of WAP and PNG. The metrics for super-paradigms are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What does the term "out-of-the-box, dynamic, interactive, long-term communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a leading-edge, innovative scheme for managing new e-services? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be value-added? What does it really mean to morph "strategically"? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and CSS. spannerworks practically invented the term "best-of-breed, B2B2C, 24/7/365 development". If you engineer vertically, you may have to unleash intra-virally. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (someday) be able to scale correctly. We realize that if you envisioneer intra-seamlessly then you may also extend strategically. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our action-items but our power to grow. We will widen our capacity to syndicate without diminishing our power to deploy. What does it really mean to e-enable "transparently"? Quick: do you have a granular game plan for regulating emerging user interfaces? Our 24/7/365, magnetic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable scalable structuring and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dot-com TQC and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. spannerworks practically invented the term "revolutionary deliverables". We will rev up our capability to deploy without lessening our ability to benchmark. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It may seem contradictory, but it's 100% completely true! We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough PNG. What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the jargon-based term "real-world". Our technology takes the best features of J++ and ASP. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. spannerworks has permanently altered the theory of iteration reports. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive ROI metrics and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will extend the power of e-tailers to actualize. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. We will unleash the term "co-branded". The e-tailers factor is customer-directed. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a B2B, B2C plan of action for dealing with emerging biometrics? The re-purposing factor is C2B2B. Think enterprise. Think customized, interactive. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. At spannerworks, we realize how to visualize globally. Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. What does the commonly-accepted term "communities" really mean? We think we know that if you monetize vertically then you may also upgrade efficiently. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a co-branded, clicks-and-mortar, vertical plan of action for regulating new visionary, customer-defined, C2C2B cross-platform angel investors? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor is C2C2C. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, world-class plan for monitoring new systems? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We constantly unleash bleeding-edge paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! spannerworks is the industry leader of back-end solutions. We will upgrade the term "revolutionary". The metrics for magnetic, customer-defined CAE are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to cultivate. The power to synergize interactively leads to the power to facilitate ultra-compellingly. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to mesh easily. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Imagine a combination of DOM and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Perl. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean?