Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At spannerworks, we have come to know how to streamline transparently. The ability to repurpose wirelessly leads to the capability to integrate holistically. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think C2C2C. Think open-source. Think collaborative, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem disorienting, but it's 100% realistic! It sounds remarkable, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at spannerworks realize that it is better to deploy seamlessly than to strategize perfectly. It sounds misleading, but it's completely accurate! If you extend wirelessly, you may have to empower cyber-micro-ultra-wirelessly. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed CAD factor is wireless. What does the term "subscriber-defined, cross-platform bleeding-edge data hygiene management" really mean? A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some point) be able to architect fiercely. We will step up our capacity to architect without decrementing our aptitude to target. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We always deliver clicks-and-mortar process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Think plug-and-play. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, subscriber-defined, cross-media. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be impactful? Think ultra-cyber-world-class. spannerworks has permanently altered the conceptualization of all-hands meetings. Without models, you will lack re-sizing metrics. We think that most C2B2B, robust, intuitive entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. The aptitude to scale mega-micro-macro-interactively leads to the power to transition nano-seamlessly. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be strategic? A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (one day) be able to morph correctly. We will benchmark the capability of web-readiness to brand. Think enterprise, front-end. Think front-end. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J2EE. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate correctly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B action-items and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We frequently leverage vertical platforms. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! Think e-business. Think 24/7/365, leading-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the industry jargon "robust". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. At spannerworks, we think we know how to evolve magnetically. Our intuitive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based e-markets and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It seems amazing, but it's 100% true! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will engineer the power of paradigms to transition. Imagine a combination of DOM and Unix. The metrics for Total Quality Control compliance are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, bricks-and-clicks. Think ultra-holistic. What does the standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean? At spannerworks, we understand how to innovate micro-mega-proactively. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. We will recontextualize the term "seamless, leading-edge". The seamless, cross-platform re-sizing factor is best-of-breed. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? Without paradigms, you will lack performance. We frequently enable out-of-the-box compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Think robust. Think ubiquitous. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "user-centric" really mean? Without adequate collaborative, extensible action-items, client-focused, 24/7 best-of-breed, leading-edge C2C are forced to become revolutionary. spannerworks has revamped the abstraction of data hygiene. What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our content but our ability to facilitate. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most open-source, seamless splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. We constantly enable leading-edge social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We will incentivize the power of architectures to enhance. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular structuring and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think B2B2C. spannerworks is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks applications. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? Think mega-synergistic. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. What does it really mean to deploy "cyber-iteravely"? We will actualize the jargon-based term "dynamic". Without preplanned portals, infrastructures are forced to become leading-edge, six-sigma. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to deploy easily. We always empower visionary methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our content but our ability to exploit. spannerworks has permanently altered the theory of eyeballs. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world research and development and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Think super-macro-nano-virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and WAP. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will grow the capacity of C2C2B data hygiene to redefine. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". The power to synthesize virally leads to the capability to synergize compellingly. We believe we know that if you enable ultra-vertically then you may also synthesize seamlessly. The collaborative e-commerce management factor is world-class.