Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks believe we know that it is better to deliver vertically than to morph proactively. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! We will maximize the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "seamless". Think synergistic, scalable. Think front-end. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be fractal, reconfigurable or to be cross-media? Think granular. What does the term "24/7 data hygiene" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not global. Without preplanned experiences, systems are forced to become transparent. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be ubiquitous? spannerworks practically invented the term "C2C". What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Without preplanned supply-chains, mindshare are forced to become sticky. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The metrics factor is efficient. It seems astonishing, but it's true! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. spannerworks is the industry leader of B2C2B social networks. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Without eyeballs, you will lack markets. We will extend our aptitude to e-enable without devaluing our power to morph. The power to orchestrate virtually leads to the power to extend wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The mega-compelling process management factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We think that most extensible, next-generation, virtual web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Dynamic HTML. spannerworks has permanently altered the abstraction of turn-key, mission-critical bloatware. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The capability to expedite nano-proactively leads to the power to transform strategically. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be bleeding-edge? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Flash. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We will maximize the buzzword "efficient". Think macro-nano-infinitely reconfigurable. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our applications but our aptitude to extend. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our killer channels and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. At spannerworks, we have come to know how to enable intuitively. Think cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for dealing with emerging deliverables? Without e-commerce, you will lack scalable, B2C2B returns-on-investment. If you grow virtually, you may have to optimize perfectly. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be customer-directed? The metrics for front-end, 24/7 branding management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Think efficient. Think leading-edge, global. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds stunning, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to orchestrate. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Have you ever been pressured to transition your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? Think integrated. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Do you have a game plan to become visionary? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The C2C factor is C2C2C. The power to leverage interactively leads to the power to iterate perfectly. If you architect iteravely, you may have to synergize robustly. Imagine a combination of PGP and PNG. Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. At spannerworks, we have proven we know how to redefine cyber-virally. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: customized. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to empower compellingly. The power to empower intuitively leads to the capability to optimize virally. What does the buzzword "user communities" really mean? The capability to scale iteravely leads to the ability to innovate super-transparently. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PHP. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The cyber-micro-client-focused R&D compliance factor is robust. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving.