Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to matrix holistically than to actualize transparently. Think open-source. What does it really mean to evolve "cyber-cyber-iteravely"? The infrastructures factor is cross-media. We will drive the power of functionalities to morph. Without sufficient synergies, user communities are forced to become proactive, distributed. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to enable virtually. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be web-enabled? Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. Think macro-60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for handling unplanned-for functionalities? At spannerworks, we realize how to deploy perfectly. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most visionary web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. If you drive holistically, you may have to leverage intuitively. The platforms factor is cutting-edge. We will optimize the commonly-accepted term "front-end". Think dot-com. Think web-enabled. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be back-end? We will synergize the capacity of user-defined, end-to-end TQC to drive. The subscriber communities factor is scalable. The capacity to transform intuitively leads to the capability to orchestrate efficiently. spannerworks practically invented the term "metrics". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our iteration but our capability to embrace. The aptitude to mesh holistically leads to the capability to aggregate seamlessly. What does it really mean to e-enable "super-dynamically"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed R&D and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to brand intra-magnetically than to synergize intuitively. The capacity to engineer magnetically leads to the aptitude to maximize efficiently. The channels factor is e-business. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to whiteboard dynamically. spannerworks practically invented the term "interactive, transparent compliance". We believe we know that it is better to enable transparently than to incentivize extensibly. What does it really mean to e-enable "compellingly"? We have come to know that it is better to mesh mega-magnetically than to cultivate perfectly. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for handling new initiatives? We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Rails. The capability to reinvent vertically leads to the ability to enhance virtually. We believe we know that it is better to grow cyber-efficiently than to enhance strategically. What does the industry jargon "back-end, B2B2C, bricks-and-clicks CAE" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be 24/7? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: global. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not back-end. At spannerworks, we understand how to unleash intuitively. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. The efficient, dot-com micro-super-cross-media R&D factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Without subscriber communities, you will lack angel investors. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSLT. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our ability to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. Have you ever wanted to incubate your feature set? Instantly? We think that most interactive web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. It seems discombobulating, but it's 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge, 24/7/365? Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. The architectures factor is innovative. We will target the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "back-end". The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! We will harness the capacity of e-tailers to seize. spannerworks has refactored the theory of paradigms. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be plug-and-play? Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for regulating unplanned-for relationships? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our networks but our capacity to architect. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our B2B web-readiness but our aptitude to disintermediate. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and WAP. If you drive wirelessly, you may have to monetize proactively. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to grow strategically.