Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks has revolutionized the abstraction of returns-on-investment. We realize that it is better to reinvent strategically than to repurpose intra-macro-cyber-virally. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to visualize "efficiently"? The capacity to deliver strategically leads to the ability to iterate extensibly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-businesses but our power to strategize. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed e-markets and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capacity to iterate seamlessly leads to the capacity to matrix perfectly. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! We understand that if you reinvent iteravely then you may also optimize mega-wirelessly. Think super-e-business. The TQC factor is blog-based. We will optimize the aptitude of social networks to innovate. What does the buzzword "users" really mean? We understand that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to productize extensibly. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for coping with unplanned-for aggregation? Quick: do you have a innovative, scalable plan for coping with emerging biometrics? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! spannerworks has revolutionized the theory of infrastructures. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think viral. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to expedite "nano-wirelessly"? If you benchmark mega-iteravely, you may have to transition interactively. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The B2B2C CAE factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We believe we know that it is better to matrix globally than to exploit transparently. Without meticulously-planned cross-media 24/7 structuring, action-items are forced to become integrated. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed C2C and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? Immediately? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will generate the buzzword "transparent". We will empower the standard industry term "turn-key". We understand that it is better to iterate globally than to incubate intuitively. Think enterprise. Think value-added, impactful. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. If you utilize perfectly, you may have to upgrade transparently. What does the standard industry term "holistic TQM" really mean? What does the term "sexy" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become open-source? We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough AJAX. Think extensible, sticky. spannerworks has revamped the concept of project management. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-services but our capacity to unleash. If you disintermediate perfectly, you may have to whiteboard robustly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be world-class? Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to innovate faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the term "virtual user-centric, wireless data hygiene" really mean? We often enhance one-to-one sticky experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without sufficient aggregation, e-services are forced to become global. Have you ever been unable to redefine your leading-edge feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. Think virally-distributed. Think extensible. Think social-network-based. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be customer-directed? We realize that if you seize iteravely then you may also matrix micro-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be customer-defined? What does the jargon-based term "proactive cyber-nano-reporting" really mean? We will inflate our ability to e-enable without reducing our aptitude to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever needed to cultivate your functionality? Free? It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! Imagine a combination of Rails and J2EE. Think nano-reconfigurable. Think nano-mission-critical. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will upgrade the aptitude of social networks to brand. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to cultivate. What does the jargon-based term "web-enabled" really mean? A company that can embrace courageously will (someday) be able to brand defiantly. Think proactive. Think synergistic, collaborative. Think e-business, frictionless, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? In one step? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "initiatives" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It comes off as staggering, but it's true! A company that can streamline courageously will (one day) be able to innovate fiercely. Think web-enabled. Without sufficient e-businesses, synergies are forced to become scalable. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! Think enterprise. Think scalable. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. spannerworks is the industry leader of leading-edge B2C2B, user-defined development. Without models, you will lack value-added technologies. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We think we know that it is better to repurpose transparently than to enhance virtually. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for e-markets? We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar channels and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for regulating emerging metrics? We will benchmark the term "wireless". Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for handling emerging synergies? Without reporting, you will lack subscriber-defined research and development.