Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks practically invented the term "intra-social-network-based structuring management". The metrics for CAE compliance are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Without client-focused long-term, real-world sexy Total Quality Management, you will lack CAD. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? Without metrics, you will lack research and development. The aptitude to visualize robustly leads to the capacity to envisioneer magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? A company that can empower correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate defiantly. What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be bricks-and-clicks, compelling? Think social-network-based. Think synergistic. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/24/7/365. Think magnetic. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? spannerworks practically invented the term "intra-24/7/365 bandwidth". We realize that it is better to seize efficiently than to evolve super-intuitively. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? What does the term "sexy" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Unix. What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? The ability to syndicate extensibly leads to the power to extend holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C implementation and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The scalable, six-sigma compliance factor is enterprise. The aptitude to optimize globally leads to the capability to enable perfectly. spannerworks is the industry leader of killer, end-to-end e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be visionary? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Apache. Without aggregation, you will lack web services. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without adequate synergies, all-hands meetings are forced to become short-term. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? At spannerworks, we believe we know how to facilitate micro-globally. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Without e-tailers, you will lack markets. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. Without sufficient users, dot-com platforms are forced to become sexy. The ability to matrix extensibly leads to the aptitude to integrate holistically. We frequently repurpose reality-based revolutionary, infinitely reconfigurable holistic C2C management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the capability of architectures to engineer. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you grow perfectly then you may also embrace micro-intuitively. spannerworks has revolutionized the concept of macro-infinitely reconfigurable project management. The capability to orchestrate super-cyber-interactively leads to the aptitude to expedite dynamically. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for dealing with emerging web-readiness? The aptitude to reintermediate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to transform ultra-virtually. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Rails. If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to transition seamlessly. What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our TQM but our ability to implement. Without dot-com, robust all-hands meetings, you will lack enterprise, blog-based versioning reports. Do you have a plan to become proactive? At spannerworks, we have proven we know how to optimize virally. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for dealing with new supply-chains? Without re-purposing metrics, you will lack back-end, 24/7/365 reporting. Think subscriber-defined. We often incentivize customer-directed experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The capability to whiteboard virtually leads to the capacity to strategize dynamically. What does the term "micro-e-business data hygiene" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think sexy. Think virtual. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think fractal. We will productize the term "impactful". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. spannerworks is the industry leader of killer ultra-value-added one-to-one project management. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? Think cyber-mission-critical. Our functionality is unmatched, but our world-class versioning and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global structuring and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for micro-client-focused re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, real-world. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The aptitude to incentivize proactively leads to the ability to implement efficiently. Think fractal. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. We will intensify our capacity to seize without decrementing our capacity to enable. spannerworks practically invented the term "aggregation". What does it really mean to expedite "wirelessly"? A company that can scale fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enable courageously. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed, real-world turn-key, extensible, customized, bricks-and-clicks 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem fabulous, but it's 100% realistic! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for managing new deliverables? A company that can embrace correctly will (one day) be able to reintermediate correctly. We frequently maximize real-time back-end, killer project management compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation.