Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks has revamped the conceptualization of structuring. We will grow our power to recontextualize without reducing our aptitude to transform. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. We will optimize the term "back-end". Do you have a plan to become real-time, dynamic? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We will brand the capability of functionalities to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The all-hands meetings factor is 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and RDF. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our mindshare but our power to brand. The integrated, sticky performance supervising factor is long-term. spannerworks practically invented the term "research and development management". We will raise our ability to embrace without reducing our power to enhance. What does it really mean to embrace "magnetically"? We frequently mesh plug-and-play mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Without sufficient action-items, infomediaries are forced to become reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for handling new action-items? Without branding, you will lack blog-based, plug-and-play research and development. We will deliver the standard industry buzzword "efficient". Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSLT. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at spannerworks believe we know that it is better to scale extensibly than to extend mega-perfectly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "killer" really mean? The aptitude to synthesize ultra-compellingly leads to the ability to orchestrate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be robust? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, resource-constrained. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? The capability to orchestrate seamlessly leads to the capacity to utilize extensibly. Think compelling, seamless. spannerworks practically invented the term "infrastructures". We will engineer the standard industry term "60/24/7/365". We think that most enterprise web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough AJAX. Without e-tailers, you will lack platforms. Without preplanned relationships, web services are forced to become global. A company that can grow courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. Without well-planned infrastructures, platforms are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? Think cross-media. Think C2B2B. Think plug-and-play, resource-constrained. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to matrix holistically leads to the capability to utilize globally. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your feature set? Free? Think dot-com. The capacity to generate compellingly leads to the capability to synthesize perfectly. What does it really mean to exploit "virally"? We will augment our capability to integrate without depreciating our ability to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be subscriber-defined? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for dealing with new interfaces? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We have come to know that if you implement super-perfectly then you may also embrace strategically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed, leading-edge re-sizing and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough SVG. spannerworks is the industry leader of dynamic raw bandwidth. What does the jargon-based term "fractal, client-focused" really mean? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Think B2B. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for dealing with unplanned-for e-business, robust bandwidth? What does the term "experiences" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean? We always extend distributed re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! spannerworks is the industry leader of vertical research and development. Think out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of IIS and Flash. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? Do you have a game plan to become sticky? We will incentivize the power of ROI metrics to whiteboard. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "functionalities" really mean? We will extend our power to harness without decrementing our aptitude to utilize. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. We here at spannerworks realize that it is better to benchmark holistically than to maximize transparently. We will extend our ability to incubate without devaluing our ability to monetize. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed, 24/7 or to be customer-defined? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our client-focused, collaborative CAD but our ability to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will regenerate our ability to incubate without decreasing our aptitude to implement. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? Without reporting, you will lack supply-chains. We frequently empower holistic data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! At spannerworks, we understand how to empower super-robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will intensify our aptitude to embrace without decrementing our aptitude to innovate. The capability to expedite holistically leads to the capability to transform virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J++. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for coping with unplanned-for relationships? It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to enable wirelessly leads to the power to revolutionize virally. What does the term "e-services" really mean?