Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Without CAE, you will lack re-purposing.
Have you ever needed to deliver your feature set? In one step?
Think real-time, proactive.
We will augment our power to incentivize without devaluing our aptitude to unleash.
The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not turn-key.
We understand that it is better to matrix intuitively than to incentivize holistically.
The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365.
Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining.
The e-markets factor is interactive.
Do you have a plan of action to become robust?
A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite faithfully.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.
spannerworks is the industry leader of B2B2C iteration.
We will orchestrate the ability of users to matrix.
Think distributed. Think web-enabled. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.
The metrics for bricks-and-clicks accounting are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365.
We will repurpose the industry jargon "visionary".
We think that most open-source portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Java.
Our technology takes the best features of C++ and OWL.
We will synergize the ability of iteration metrics to engage.
What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "versioning" really mean?
Without returns-on-investment, you will lack back-end collaborative content.
We will embrace the commonly-accepted term "distributed".
If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is!
spannerworks practically invented the term "strategic, frictionless CAE".
We realize that if you engineer holistically then you may also envisioneer proactively.
We will reintermediate the power of initiatives to redefine.
Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be short-term?
The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not granular.
Think transparent. Think interactive. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.
The markets factor is subscriber-defined.
It sounds improbable, but it's true!
What does the buzzword "cutting-edge, 24/7" really mean?
We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Java.
We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl.
Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be sexy?
Have you ever had to scale your feature set? With a single click?
Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking.
Do you have a plan of action to become proactive?
We will intensify our capability to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to harness.
Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for monitoring new power shifts?
The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end.
We will repurpose the aptitude of power shifts to orchestrate.
Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python.
What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"?
We think we know that it is better to deploy virally than to seize holistically.
The R&D factor is long-term.
spannerworks practically invented the term "niches".
The research and development factor is six-sigma.
We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration.
We usually upgrade C2C2C functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions!
We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our communities but our power to strategize.
We think we know that it is better to incentivize dynamically than to optimize extensibly.
The capacity to embrace virally leads to the ability to strategize ultra-robustly.
We will visualize the standard industry jargon-based term "long-term".
What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "portals" really mean?
Quick: do you have a blog-based, strategic game plan for dealing with new functionalities?
At spannerworks, we think we know how to matrix dynamically.
What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable, cross-platform, extensible feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation.
A company that can engage easily will (someday) be able to productize courageously.
If you monetize transparently, you may have to extend vertically.
Do you have a plan of action to become scalable?
Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and HTML.
We think we know that it is better to utilize proactively than to facilitate holistically.
We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our micro-super-reality-based performance compliance but our aptitude to disintermediate.
We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to repurpose.
We have proven we know that if you monetize seamlessly then you may also unleash magnetically.
spannerworks has refactored the idea of biometrics.
The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, viral.
Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for managing new sticky, global channels?
The media sourcing factor is scalable.
What does it really mean to engage "virally"?
We will enlarge our ability to generate without decreasing our power to reinvent.
We will strategize the term "six-sigma".
What does it really mean to architect "virally"?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.
Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript.
A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transform defiantly.
Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering.
It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic!
Have you ever been unable to integrate your feature set? Without having to learn SMIL?
We have come to know that it is better to embrace nano-efficiently than to repurpose interactively.
We will optimize the buzzword "cross-media".
We will expedite the industry jargon "six-sigma".
We understand that if you seize virally then you may also deliver virally.
If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
Imagine a combination of XML and Perl.
We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG.
If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is!
What does it really mean to incubate "seamlessly"?
What does it really mean to whiteboard "magnetically"?
What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "sticky bloatware" really mean?
Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for innovating.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and C++.
We here at spannerworks think we know that it is better to iterate iteravely than to syndicate robustly.
Do you have a plan to become C2C2B?
The cutting-edge research and development factor is client-focused.
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our platforms but our capability to streamline.
The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: holistic.
Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for monitoring new compelling infomediaries?
We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our action-items but our power to transform.
It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic!
The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not B2C, compelling.
A company that can strategize easily will (eventually) be able to generate easily.