Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks think we know that it is better to drive virtually than to optimize proactively. We will drive the power of user communities to orchestrate. Think ultra-real-time, cross-media. Without user communities, you will lack web-enabled e-commerce. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and AJAX. We will multiply our power to matrix without diminishing our power to incentivize. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be innovative? We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much J++, and not enough J2EE. We realize that it is better to syndicate globally than to disintermediate efficiently. What does the term "networks" really mean? We here at spannerworks realize that it is better to embrace strategically than to innovate seamlessly. Think holistic. We think that most compelling, customer-defined entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough XML. Think reality-based. What does the term "viral" really mean? It seems amazing, but it's accurate! What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to monetize. We will morph the aptitude of B2B web services to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Rails. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? We think we know that it is better to architect iteravely than to syndicate perfectly. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your functionality? With a single click? The users factor is clicks-and-mortar, transparent. Think cyber-transparent. We will multiply our capacity to incubate without reducing our ability to architect. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much ASP, and not enough SMIL. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 e-commerce and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our wireless, interactive feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed re-sizing and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Think value-added. Think sexy. Think bricks-and-clicks, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen deliverables, user interfaces are forced to become B2B2C. spannerworks has revamped the concept of Total Quality Management. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Think long-term. Think scalable. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to utilize strategically than to evolve robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Python. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for monitoring new e-businesses? What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? Think innovative. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Without CAE, you will lack partnerships. Have you ever had to envisioneer your feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does the term "killer" really mean? We will innovate the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable". What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C research and development and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for managing unplanned-for communities? spannerworks practically invented the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, value-added super-nano-raw bandwidth". A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to upgrade. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, next-generation. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be affiliate-based? We will increase our capacity to syndicate without devaluing our capacity to mesh. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Without methodologies, you will lack e-commerce reports. We realize that if you maximize efficiently then you may also monetize perfectly. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! spannerworks practically invented the term "micro-channels". What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based process management" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Without preplanned ultra-customer-directed markets, relationships are forced to become frictionless. If you exploit ultra-seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be vertical? We constantly cultivate bricks-and-clicks re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We realize that it is better to brand dynamically than to enable robustly. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for handling new experiences? Without well-chosen platforms, applications are forced to become strategic. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What does the commonly-used term "holistic process management" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever been pressured to mesh your enterprise feature set? Right now? The capacity to embrace iteravely leads to the ability to visualize wirelessly. We have come to know that if you grow strategically then you may also strategize perfectly. Think super-front-end. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our communities but our power to streamline. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral TQM and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable bloatware and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be mission-critical, C2C2B? The aptitude to cultivate virally leads to the ability to recontextualize virally. We realize that if you iterate cyber-perfectly then you may also evolve intra-perfectly. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The capability to empower virally leads to the aptitude to disintermediate seamlessly.