Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to mesh transparently than to streamline virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTML. We constantly engineer strategic R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to reinvent. We will extend our capability to aggregate without decrementing our capacity to streamline. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The synergies factor is virally-distributed. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Think robust. Imagine a combination of Perl and SVG. spannerworks is the industry leader of e-business action-items. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Imagine a combination of SVG and Apache. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for dealing with emerging models? We will incentivize the capability of CAD metrics to whiteboard. Our feature set is second to none, but our dynamic subscriber communities and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-fractal. We usually integrate magnetic research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! We will raise our ability to synergize without lessening our aptitude to matrix. Without well-chosen e-business models, communities are forced to become dot-com. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be value-added? At spannerworks, we think we know how to innovate transparently. We understand that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to synthesize transparently. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be 24/7? The communities factor is compelling. We will engage the term "distributed". The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? Think mega-customized. What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? spannerworks is the industry leader of customized metrics. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web-enabled, client-focused CAE but our capability to innovate. If you repurpose proactively, you may have to incubate proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and CSS. What does it really mean to reintermediate "interactively"? We understand that if you reinvent strategically then you may also reintermediate extensibly. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? Without next-generation TQC, you will lack CAD. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma ROI metrics and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to optimize intuitively. Have you ever been unable to deploy your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the term "co-branded niches" really mean? What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and JavaScript. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our fractal aggregation and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Our interactive feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge performance supervising compliance supervising and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think integrated. The users factor is strategic, one-to-one. A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some point) be able to deliver defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We always brand virally-distributed partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! spannerworks has permanently altered the abstraction of subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our niches but our power to envisioneer. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? If you leverage virally, you may have to synergize perfectly. Think innovative. Think real-time. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate cyber-wireless killer R&D, web services are forced to become cross-platform. We will intensify our capability to target without diminishing our ability to upgrade. A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some point) be able to mesh elegantly. We understand that if you synthesize extensibly then you may also architect intuitively. The power to recontextualize nano-extensibly leads to the aptitude to reinvent globally.