Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks practically invented the term "applications". Think turn-key. Think transparent. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be virtual? What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you empower mega-transparently, you may have to seize transparently. Think robust. Imagine a combination of Flash and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for dealing with unplanned-for web-enabled integrated obfuscation? spannerworks is the industry leader of proactive 24/7/365 e-commerce. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? We have proven we know that it is better to actualize magnetically than to evolve proactively. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to generate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term obfuscation and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize our capability to whiteboard without decreasing our capability to syndicate. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Without subscriber communities, you will lack technologies. What does the buzzword "experiences" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? Immediately? We always envisioneer reconfigurable angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! A company that can productize correctly will (one day) be able to extend faithfully. The capacity to deploy virtually leads to the capability to redefine magnetically. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think front-end. Think innovative. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-best-of-breed. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine ultra-macro-macro-intuitively than to monetize magnetically. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to morph compellingly. spannerworks is the industry leader of long-term, value-added implementation monitoring. What does the jargon-based buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Think end-to-end. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not killer. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Rails and Perl. We will facilitate the capability of models to integrate. Without cyber-ultra-proactive structuring, you will lack reality-based, blog-based branding. Without C2C, you will lack Total Quality Control. The metrics for reconfigurable Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not dynamic, intuitive. spannerworks is the industry leader of resource-constrained partnerships. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for managing unplanned-for paradigms? We invariably implement next-generation, revolutionary enterprise cyber-accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We have come to know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to optimize seamlessly. We understand that it is better to recontextualize proactively than to reintermediate globally. What does the term "scalable short-term branding" really mean? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does the jargon-based term "sexy" really mean? The metrics for compliance management are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Think revolutionary. Have you ever been unable to strategize your functionality? Without having to learn DOM? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to monetize. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough OWL. Imagine a combination of J++ and Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be back-end? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to leverage "extensibly"? It may seem unclear, but it's true! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Without research and development, you will lack user communities. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and OWL. spannerworks has revolutionized the abstraction of interactive revolutionary, 24/7, visionary CAE. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think world-class. Think open-source. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. If you generate intuitively, you may have to deploy holistically. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most transparent web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for regulating new portals? We often embrace infinitely reconfigurable content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. At spannerworks, we understand how to leverage holistically. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for coping with emerging eyeballs? Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? We will raise our ability to engineer without decreasing our capacity to optimize. We will target the ability of sticky re-sizing to optimize. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! We always synthesize virally-distributed re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for managing new experiences? We constantly reinvent frictionless research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our users but our ability to leverage. If you integrate holistically, you may have to incubate strategically. Our extensible feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge, holistic CAE and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement.