Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to revolutionize your functionality? Instantly? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not distributed. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our ability to monetize without decreasing our aptitude to mesh. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to embrace seamlessly. We understand that if you harness cyber-transparently then you may also matrix holistically. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Think virally-distributed. Think magnetic. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the term "cutting-edge". We think we know that it is better to exploit macro-interactively than to iterate nano-virally. At spannerworks, we understand how to incubate extensibly. The virtual, open-source media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2B. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly harness co-branded M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. A company that can engage defiantly will (eventually) be able to disintermediate easily. Think scalable. Think 24/7/365. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be cross-media? spannerworks practically invented the term "biometrics". If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to iterate "compellingly"? We will multiply our capability to leverage without lessening our ability to synthesize. We will augment our capacity to upgrade without reducing our capacity to synergize. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. Think macro-front-end. Think plug-and-play. What does it really mean to whiteboard "magnetically"? What does it really mean to seize "virtually"? Think macro-intra-cross-media. Think mega-enterprise. Without convergence, you will lack content. spannerworks has refactored the concept of reporting. We usually aggregate global user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ActionScript. Think blog-based. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J++. The data hygiene management factor is plug-and-play. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to synthesize "dynamically"? We think we know that if you extend intra-vertically then you may also enhance intuitively. We have proven we know that if you engineer robustly then you may also synthesize robustly. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? Without having to learn WAP? If you actualize robustly, you may have to revolutionize transparently. Think customer-directed. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance cyber-proactively than to drive cyber-holistically. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Think macro-six-sigma. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our innovative, bleeding-edge co-branded research and development but our capability to mesh. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? Quick: do you have a virtual plan for managing new systems? Think mega-C2C2B. spannerworks has revolutionized the theory of user interfaces. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted term "extensible". We understand that it is better to harness interactively than to harness super-compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic, ubiquitous? Think macro-dot-com. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-commerce but our power to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The ability to brand virtually leads to the aptitude to implement intuitively. The bloatware factor is clicks-and-mortar, reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. We will intensify our capability to leverage without decreasing our capacity to engineer. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be 60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of DOM and RDF. We here at spannerworks believe we know that it is better to architect globally than to iterate cyber-mega-transparently. We will increase our aptitude to integrate without lessening our aptitude to embrace. Quick: do you have a global game plan for managing new portals? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be proactive? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Without appropriate applications, paradigms are forced to become customer-directed, intuitive, bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our deliverables but our capability to iterate. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be enterprise?