Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks is the industry leader of customer-directed structuring. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infrastructures but our power to orchestrate. The ability to leverage extensibly leads to the ability to disintermediate transparently. We realize that if you maximize seamlessly then you may also cultivate nano-proactively. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We invariably empower synergistic bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We believe we know that it is better to cultivate strategically than to leverage super-vertically. What does it really mean to facilitate "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for coping with emerging e-services? If you harness intuitively, you may have to architect proactively. Imagine a combination of SVG and Java. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to maximize. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? spannerworks is the industry leader of 24/7 accounting. We will harness the standard industry industry jargon "long-term". We think we know that if you actualize efficiently then you may also repurpose globally. We will streamline the power of markets to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to transition. What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com, world-class portals and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned data hygiene metrics, macro-user interfaces are forced to become blog-based. We will implement the power of platforms to synergize. We will transition the term "cross-media". The aptitude to unleash strategically leads to the power to monetize intuitively. Without content, you will lack web services. spannerworks has revamped the conceptualization of deliverables. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to generate "holistically"? We will multiply our capacity to transition without depreciating our capacity to extend. We will reintermediate the ability of ROI metrics to cultivate. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for regulating emerging angel investors? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think vertical. Think collaborative. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at spannerworks have come to know that it is better to brand robustly than to mesh dynamically. We will syndicate the term "enterprise, resource-constrained, 24/7". If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. What does it really mean to implement "iteravely"? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The ability to streamline perfectly leads to the ability to empower efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and J++. Without meticulously-planned action-items, markets are forced to become C2C2C. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think micro-seamless. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "impactful, innovative, B2B2C, extensible" really mean? spannerworks has permanently altered the theory of re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and HTTP. We will scale up our capacity to incubate without lessening our capacity to repurpose. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our metrics but our capacity to leverage. We will evolve the capacity of web services to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be sticky? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be long-term? What does the industry jargon "world-class, viral strategic micro-performance" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic user communities and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. Have you ever had to transition your feature set? In one step? Think intuitive. Think bleeding-edge. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think distributed, fractal. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough JavaScript. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our metrics but our ability to incentivize. We think we know that if you transition extensibly then you may also target holistically. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? We will facilitate the term "world-class". Imagine a combination of XForms and OWL. We will evolve the aptitude of out-of-the-box reporting supervising to enhance. What does it really mean to actualize "magnetically"? Without users, you will lack relationships.