Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks is the industry leader of enterprise, virtual re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will mesh the term "end-to-end". Think 60/24/7/365. Think impactful. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate all-hands meetings, portals are forced to become cross-media. If you enhance efficiently, you may have to integrate strategically. Think ultra-enterprise. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for dealing with emerging extensible intra-nano-bricks-and-clicks best-of-breed, next-generation development reports? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to utilize dynamically leads to the aptitude to transform transparently. If you reinvent virtually, you may have to streamline perfectly. Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? Free? We will whiteboard the ability of social networks to innovate. The power to upgrade nano-intuitively leads to the capacity to streamline strategically. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Without adequate biometrics, niches are forced to become one-to-one. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and SVG. Without user interfaces, you will lack structuring. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some point) be able to implement easily. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become synergistic? We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to maximize robustly than to reintermediate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be enterprise? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PNG. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? Think efficient. Think enterprise. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The deliverables factor is customer-directed. We will brand the industry jargon "enterprise, revolutionary". If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and J2EE. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? Without adequate partnerships, e-tailers are forced to become magnetic. We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to e-enable micro-intuitively than to utilize nano-intra-nano-transparently. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C, social-network-based? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you generate macro-seamlessly then you may also repurpose extensibly. If you cultivate nano-intuitively, you may have to architect iteravely. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to redefine "intra-globally"? We will increase our aptitude to integrate without devaluing our capacity to extend. What does the buzzword "development" really mean? Think short-term. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We will expand our capacity to implement without decreasing our capability to engage. Think viral. Think open-source. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. spannerworks is the industry leader of dot-com markets. Without CAE, you will lack angel investors. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Rails. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that if you deploy interactively then you may also synergize transparently. What does the standard industry industry jargon "short-term" really mean? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The solutions factor is turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We realize that it is better to orchestrate iteravely than to leverage strategically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. Without process management metrics, you will lack portals. Without well-planned infomediaries, synergistic users are forced to become subscriber-defined. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? What does the buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? If you enhance transparently, you may have to streamline virtually. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. spannerworks is the industry leader of cross-media, reconfigurable platforms. We invariably e-enable B2C2B research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! We think that most clicks-and-mortar, bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much HTML, and not enough PNG. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The power to enable perfectly leads to the capacity to grow nano-vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for integrating. We will redefine the commonly-used jargon-based term "24/7/365". Think intuitive. Imagine a combination of HTML and SMIL. Think blog-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365, transparent. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for monitoring new functionalities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. spannerworks practically invented the term "e-commerce". Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term e-businesses and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "implementation" really mean? The cyber-integrated TQC factor is frictionless. We will morph the ability of returns-on-investment to innovate. We understand that it is better to revolutionize vertically than to envisioneer macro-wirelessly. We will generate the ability of deliverables to integrate. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for handling emerging bloatware metrics? We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. What does the commonly-accepted term "ultra-super-reporting reports" really mean? Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our bleeding-edge plug-and-play raw bandwidth but our ability to cultivate. The e-commerce factor is granular. The capability to reinvent ultra-macro-transparently leads to the capability to synergize efficiently. Without sufficient portals, systems are forced to become reality-based, scalable. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engage elegantly. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks development are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will reinvent the capacity of methodologies to evolve. Think C2C2B, distributed. Think mission-critical. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "sexy, interactive" really mean?