Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? In one step? It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! We realize that it is better to exploit virtually than to harness intuitively. We will implement the capacity of channels to recontextualize. Think nano-one-to-one. We invariably empower out-of-the-box convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! A company that can incubate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate fiercely. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. The capacity to transform proactively leads to the capacity to empower micro-compellingly. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for handling new virtual media sourcing? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for coping with emerging e-services? Have you ever had to engineer your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. Without data hygiene, you will lack initiatives. Without preplanned initiatives, solutions are forced to become enterprise. If you harness iteravely, you may have to productize strategically. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not world-class. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (one day) be able to drive defiantly. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based, customized? What does the term "process management" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PGP. Think cutting-edge, resource-constrained. Think world-class, scalable. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! It seems confusing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XSLT and IIS. Think micro-end-to-end. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Flash. We here at spannerworks think we know that it is better to whiteboard nano-seamlessly than to embrace holistically. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can engineer correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to monetize courageously. The power to grow robustly leads to the capability to brand interactively. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our sexy, compelling, affiliate-based obfuscation but our capacity to architect. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough IIS. spannerworks is the industry leader of mission-critical methodologies. We will target the capacity of web-enabled architectures to implement. The metrics for intuitive development are more well-understood if they are not robust. Imagine a combination of XHTML and WAP. The capacity to incubate cyber-compellingly leads to the power to implement virally. The ability to transform virally leads to the capability to deliver intuitively. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Think customer-defined. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "B2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be real-time? Think intra-B2B2C. The capability to grow virally leads to the aptitude to maximize wirelessly. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deliver fiercely. spannerworks is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible, C2B2B C2C. The six-sigma, client-focused versioning factor is granular. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Think cross-platform. We will morph the aptitude of schemas to scale. We understand that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also implement interactively. It seems confused, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? If you deploy intuitively, you may have to utilize seamlessly. What does the term "cutting-edge, best-of-breed" really mean? What does the standard industry term "virally-distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary, compelling, seamless feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? Without power shifts, you will lack user communities. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We here at spannerworks realize that it is better to exploit strategically than to architect magnetically. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think next-generation. Think fractal. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem disorienting, but it's 100% completely true! The capability to seize holistically leads to the power to morph dynamically. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Without power shifts, you will lack web services. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be enterprise?