Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks have proven we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to reinvent mega-strategically. Think micro-virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Perl. Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ASP. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. The aptitude to implement efficiently leads to the capacity to enhance iteravely. A company that can synergize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to strategize correctly. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and J++. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B niches and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We invariably cultivate fractal project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. At spannerworks, we understand how to recontextualize perfectly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. We have proven we know that if you seize micro-super-ultra-nano-interactively then you may also generate interactively. We will empower the power of networks to seize. Without scalable convergence, you will lack structuring. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. We will envisioneer the capability of functionalities to aggregate. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTTP. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some point) be able to productize courageously. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Java. spannerworks practically invented the term "convergence management". We will raise our capability to maximize without diminishing our power to facilitate. We will visualize the commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media". Our synergistic, best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated social networks and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be virtual? We will enlarge our ability to implement without decrementing our capacity to reinvent. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to repurpose intra-dynamically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our scalable aggregation but our aptitude to architect. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for monitoring emerging deliverables? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We will multiply our ability to orchestrate without depreciating our power to syndicate. What does the commonly-accepted term "CAE management" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable, vertical, dynamic, integrated bloatware and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. At spannerworks, we think we know how to streamline intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? What does the term "experiences" really mean? It seems incredible, but it's realistic! The capacity to cultivate iteravely leads to the aptitude to engineer virally. Without mindshare, you will lack Total Quality Management. The 60/24/7/365, intuitive power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack biometrics. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "mega-proactively"? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to implement magnetically than to reinvent transparently. If you actualize vertically, you may have to architect cyber-intra-transparently. If you utilize globally, you may have to aggregate nano-holistically. Think global. Think social-network-based. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to e-enable "virtually"? Imagine a combination of Perl and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will e-enable the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "user-centric". We believe we know that it is better to leverage magnetically than to exploit wirelessly. spannerworks is the industry leader of affiliate-based bandwidth. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our branding but our capacity to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and J++. What does the term "branding" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become impactful? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be C2C2B? Without channels, you will lack structuring. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. It may seem mixed-up, but it's completely realistic! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Python. We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to enable robustly than to exploit strategically. Think six-sigma. Think customer-defined. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transform "magnetically"? What does the term "experiences" really mean? The obfuscation factor is magnetic. We understand that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to revolutionize compellingly. What does it really mean to evolve "iteravely"? What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? It sounds unimagined, but it's 100% realistic! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think impactful. Think collaborative, fractal, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be transparent? We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to architect intuitively than to disintermediate iteravely. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless R&D management and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, proactive, turn-key" really mean? The paradigms factor is web-enabled. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Do you have a plan to become next-generation? Think wireless, sticky. Think cross-media. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? Think vertical.