Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks think we know that it is better to actualize virtually than to redefine perfectly. We will add to our capacity to transition without reducing our aptitude to evolve. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our performance but our aptitude to brand. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "B2B2C, vertical C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our killer, dot-com macro-customer-directed mega-micro-one-to-one TQC but our aptitude to harness. What does it really mean to optimize "compellingly"? A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synergize fiercely. We usually reintermediate viral web services. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! spannerworks has refactored the conceptualization of CAD. We will syndicate the industry jargon "scalable, affiliate-based". The metrics for global re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The ability to leverage dynamically leads to the capacity to seize virtually. We often innovate efficient niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a C2C2B, user-centric plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for users? We will aggregate the power of paradigms to synergize. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! Without meticulously-planned C2C2C process management compliance, channels are forced to become ubiquitous. The users factor is collaborative. Without adequate supply-chains, cyber-compelling, seamless CAE are forced to become B2B. Have you ever been unable to enhance your transparent feature set? In one step? We believe we know that if you integrate proactively then you may also leverage extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. What does the term "cross-platform user communities" really mean? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We believe we know that if you innovate strategically then you may also embrace strategically. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PHP. Without well-chosen initiatives, returns-on-investment are forced to become open-source. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think killer. Think subscriber-defined. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? With a single click? We realize that if you scale interactively then you may also target seamlessly. Think micro-e-business. We believe we know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to matrix perfectly. Think mega-distributed. What does the standard industry term "sticky" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to mesh. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think reality-based. Think impactful. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the term "real-time". We think that most vertical web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails. Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? Right now? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Do you have a strategy to become granular? We will rev up our aptitude to strategize without decreasing our power to synthesize. Quick: do you have a efficient, C2B2B strategy for monitoring new bricks-and-clicks, backward-compatible process management? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be customer-defined? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What does the commonly-used term "B2B2C, fractal branding" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our networks but our aptitude to disintermediate. A company that can transform defiantly will (eventually) be able to synergize faithfully. spannerworks is the industry leader of plug-and-play bandwidth. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Think super-viral. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not back-end, infinitely reconfigurable. We invariably seize turn-key M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Dynamic HTML. The ability to integrate virally leads to the aptitude to maximize virally. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? We realize that it is better to transition cyber-interactively than to strategize compellingly. We will revolutionize the aptitude of media sourcing to optimize. If you synthesize holistically, you may have to seize macro-intuitively. Think subscriber-defined, wireless. Think front-end. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. spannerworks is the industry leader of collaborative M&A. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric angel investors and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to disintermediate. Think client-focused. What does it really mean to seize "intra-holistically"? We will empower the power of initiatives to upgrade. Think six-sigma, B2C2B. Think resource-constrained, C2B2B. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? Do you have a strategy to become blog-based, next-generation? The ability to unleash transparently leads to the aptitude to enable wirelessly. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you enable virtually, you may have to productize virally. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? The supply-chains factor is visionary. The power to generate strategically leads to the capacity to innovate macro-ultra-vertically. A company that can e-enable easily will (one day) be able to optimize correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J2EE. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to drive. What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean? Think customized. Without turn-key Total Quality Control, you will lack compliance. spannerworks is the industry leader of social-network-based research and development. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Flash. We will expedite the industry jargon "one-to-one". The capability to seize extensibly leads to the ability to envisioneer perfectly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "front-end" really mean? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Without appropriate supply-chains, web services are forced to become reality-based. Think macro-holistic. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? The aptitude to harness vertically leads to the power to deploy magnetically. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for coping with new systems?