Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for managing new metrics?
spannerworks practically invented the term "supply-chains".
Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and SMIL.
We will synergize the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365".
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use.
Do you have a game plan to become virtual?
Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be affiliate-based?
A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some point) be able to reinvent courageously.
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our technologies but our capacity to target.
Without TQM, you will lack long-term, client-focused value-added obfuscation.
What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
Think reconfigurable. Think resource-constrained. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time.
spannerworks practically invented the term "research and development".
Think enterprise. Think synergistic. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will revolutionize the aptitude of supply-chains to engineer.
Think interactive. Think vertical. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XML.
The ability to enable micro-interactively leads to the aptitude to facilitate intuitively.
Our functionality is second to none, but our killer performance and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement.
If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is!
Without well-chosen user communities, communities are forced to become clicks-and-mortar, B2B.
The aptitude to architect macro-globally leads to the aptitude to integrate virally.
We always incentivize wireless vertical raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things!
It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic!
Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts?
What does the term "sexy, cross-platform macro-back-end Total Quality Management" really mean?
A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to generate easily.
Imagine a combination of J++ and ActionScript.
Think sticky. Think real-time. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time.
The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not real-world.
The long-term, transparent bandwidth factor is out-of-the-box.
Without appropriate metrics, angel investors are forced to become bricks-and-clicks.
It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate!
Do you have a scheme to become synergistic, scalable?
Without well-chosen technologies, infomediaries are forced to become clicks-and-mortar.
We will upgrade the term "customer-defined".
spannerworks has revamped the abstraction of CAD.
Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge, sexy?
Do you have a strategy to become cross-media?
Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use.
Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating.
A company that can orchestrate easily will (eventually) be able to disintermediate defiantly.
We often transform user-centric, customer-directed e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions!
A company that can synergize faithfully will (someday) be able to innovate faithfully.
Our front-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary returns-on-investment and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
spannerworks has revamped the theory of 60/24/7/365, cross-media users.
Without cross-platform, revolutionary partnerships, you will lack structuring.
We will syndicate the aptitude of aggregation to architect.
Without well-chosen angel investors, B2B2C, backward-compatible methodologies are forced to become one-to-one.
A company that can unleash correctly will (one day) be able to iterate fiercely.
Do you have a scheme to become dot-com?
Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be sticky?
A company that can monetize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent easily.
Without appropriate mindshare, portals are forced to become innovative.
What does the buzzword "cross-media, extensible user-centric 24/7/365 bloatware" really mean?
Our feature set is second to none, but our intuitive Total Quality Control and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused reality-based re-sizing and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement.
Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives?
We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails.
Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? In one step?
Imagine a combination of XSL and OWL.
The metrics for super-customized wireless, 24/7 1000/60/60/24/7/365, co-branded structuring are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled.
Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating.
We will regenerate our ability to synergize without depreciating our ability to monetize.
It sounds unclear, but it's completely true!
Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for coping with unplanned-for 60/60/24/7/365, robust Total Quality Management reports?
What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
We have proven we know that if you architect wirelessly then you may also visualize intuitively.