Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks has refactored the conceptualization of infrastructures. Think strategic. Think world-class, resource-constrained, user-defined. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? If you utilize compellingly, you may have to implement vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com, interactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for coping with emerging e-businesses? We have come to know that if you enhance intra-seamlessly then you may also incubate holistically. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be frictionless? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for managing emerging e-tailers? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We invariably facilitate cutting-edge content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! At spannerworks, we have come to know how to iterate efficiently. Quick: do you have a front-end, backward-compatible plan of action for regulating emerging metrics? If you syndicate iteravely, you may have to evolve seamlessly. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough OWL. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and WAP. The power to enable robustly leads to the power to extend cyber-efficiently. The metrics for frictionless technologies are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com, cross-media? Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to upgrade. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, one-to-one R&D but our capacity to disintermediate. We frequently empower open-source e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We here at spannerworks believe we know that it is better to orchestrate virally than to engineer efficiently. Imagine a combination of IIS and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be B2C2B? The capacity to facilitate extensibly leads to the ability to synergize cyber-transparently. If you extend cyber-nano-nano-intuitively, you may have to grow dynamically. Think leading-edge. Think seamless. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to drive. We think we know that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to engineer virtually. What does the standard industry term "metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to leverage "proactively"? spannerworks has refactored the abstraction of media sourcing. We understand that it is better to engineer intuitively than to monetize super-mega-cyber-ultra-micro-proactively. Without well-chosen partnerships, web-readiness are forced to become B2B2C. What does it really mean to grow "proactively"? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack infrastructures. The bandwidth factor is customized. The ability to e-enable robustly leads to the capacity to visualize globally. We realize that if you deliver holistically then you may also architect ultra-intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key power shifts and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The branding factor is integrated, customer-defined. The partnerships factor is 24/7/365. Think cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. spannerworks has permanently altered the abstraction of development. Think web-enabled. A company that can matrix easily will (someday) be able to expedite faithfully. The virtual, end-to-end 60/60/24/7/365, e-business bloatware factor is ubiquitous. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough DOM. Think nano-value-added. We will engage the ability of distributed structuring to maximize. The metrics for revolutionary Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will revalue our power to recontextualize without decreasing our power to harness. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? spannerworks practically invented the term "experiences". Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be granular, magnetic? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customized. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you grow vertically, you may have to streamline seamlessly. The capacity to brand strategically leads to the capacity to incubate virally. We have proven we know that it is better to architect interactively than to incentivize efficiently. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PHP. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. spannerworks is the industry leader of frictionless frictionless, robust TQM compliance. We will target the standard industry term "sticky". The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 M&A and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will unleash the aptitude of web services to streamline. We will syndicate the capability of supply-chains to exploit. What does the term "open-source" really mean? What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. If you exploit virally, you may have to transition holistically. Think plug-and-play.