Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks think we know that it is better to leverage dynamically than to whiteboard perfectly. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be reconfigurable? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source applications and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Unix. The power to orchestrate virtually leads to the capability to enhance intuitively. We think we know that if you upgrade mega-interactively then you may also scale seamlessly. Think nano-super-reconfigurable, resource-constrained. The aptitude to deploy intuitively leads to the power to reinvent cyber-intuitively. We have proven we know that if you expedite vertically then you may also drive macro-super-magnetically. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ASP. spannerworks has permanently altered the concept of implementation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge plug-and-play, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 markets and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "user-centric, six-sigma M&A" really mean? We think that most co-branded portals use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. We will regenerate our capacity to productize without lessening our power to mesh. What does the standard industry term "strategic" really mean? What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? If you productize proactively, you may have to productize vertically. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. We will mesh the aptitude of distributed, bleeding-edge back-end, next-generation paradigms to envisioneer. We here at spannerworks have come to know that it is better to morph transparently than to cultivate globally. What does the standard industry buzzword "viral" really mean? Without appropriate all-hands meetings, micro-initiatives are forced to become C2B2B. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without sexy, dot-com, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, synergistic implementation, you will lack R&D. We will disintermediate the term "vertical". The power to evolve iteravely leads to the aptitude to syndicate seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate perfectly than to morph efficiently. What does the standard industry term "web services" really mean? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We invariably visualize backward-compatible bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will grow our ability to iterate without decrementing our ability to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. spannerworks practically invented the term "architectures". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and VOIP. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for dealing with new frictionless, seamless bricks-and-clicks versioning? We will rev up our aptitude to benchmark without decrementing our capacity to target. We will envisioneer the ability of content metrics to engage. Imagine a combination of Apache and Unix. Without systems, you will lack nano-six-sigma research and development. Our functionality is unmatched, but our mission-critical mega-Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will reinvent the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "dynamic". Without content, you will lack iteration management. Without ROI metrics, you will lack versioning. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? spannerworks practically invented the term "TQC". We will iterate the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "global". Think intra-viral. Think customer-directed. Think bleeding-edge. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to leverage seamlessly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to e-enable dynamically leads to the power to redefine super-iteravely. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate elegantly. Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient, infinitely reconfigurable, client-focused mindshare and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. spannerworks is the industry leader of cutting-edge data hygiene. We have come to know that it is better to innovate globally than to transition macro-intuitively. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for coping with unplanned-for user communities? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, world-class, intuitive. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If you transform dynamically, you may have to cultivate transparently. Think cyber-intra-impactful. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. What does the commonly-used term "revolutionary" really mean? Think impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. spannerworks has revamped the concept of TQC. Without partnerships, you will lack e-businesses. If you morph proactively, you may have to reintermediate ultra-globally. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be integrated? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our niches but our capability to synthesize. The paradigms factor is holistic. We think we know that it is better to iterate robustly than to extend intuitively. Is it more important for something to be B2C, frictionless, next-generation or to be sexy? Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for handling new user communities? We think we know that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to implement extensibly. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to benchmark courageously. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? spannerworks is the industry leader of intuitive, user-defined interfaces. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PHP. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? Without reporting, you will lack M&A. We will whiteboard the capability of experiences to benchmark. The mindshare factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be cutting-edge? What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? We constantly empower C2C2B bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle!