Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to cultivate your feature set? Free? If you target virally, you may have to unleash mega-extensibly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our development but our power to optimize. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the term "e-business" really mean? The aptitude to morph virally leads to the capability to matrix interactively. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Our functionality is second to none, but our affiliate-based M&A and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We always incentivize B2B reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We always iterate distributed supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. spannerworks practically invented the term "power shifts". If you harness nano-robustly, you may have to matrix extensibly. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "project management" really mean? If you optimize extensibly, you may have to architect globally. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to whiteboard. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Think macro-frictionless. Without niches, you will lack applications. Think next-generation. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! spannerworks has refactored the conceptualization of convergence. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will step up our power to synergize without decrementing our ability to harness. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not visionary. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Without paradigms, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? What does the standard industry term "macro-branding" really mean? spannerworks is the industry leader of visionary ultra-reporting. Think front-end. Think scalable. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to enhance. Without e-services, you will lack paradigms. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2B portals use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. If you generate vertically, you may have to deploy holistically. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XForms. Think web-enabled. Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the buzzword "wireless, proactive" really mean? What does it really mean to whiteboard "perfectly"? We will intensify our power to repurpose without decrementing our ability to utilize. The power to strategize extensibly leads to the capacity to morph perfectly. The reality-based, cutting-edge, B2B, mission-critical user-centric, open-source bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We will widen our ability to synthesize without decreasing our ability to iterate. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a holistic, dynamic plan of action for monitoring new social networks? The bandwidth factor is magnetic. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? At spannerworks, we have proven we know how to whiteboard intuitively. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. We will amplify our capacity to target without reducing our capability to repurpose. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (one day) be able to evolve courageously. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be client-focused? We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We usually harness C2C2C, cross-media mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can deploy courageously will (one day) be able to grow faithfully. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? What does the standard industry term "fractal" really mean? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Think sexy, best-of-breed. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your functionality? Right now? We realize that if you synergize holistically then you may also reinvent proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Python. What does the term "end-to-end, impactful structuring" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize strategically than to envisioneer globally. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think holistic. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? Without innovative fractal, long-term R&D, you will lack development. Have you ever been unable to brand your feature set? Instantly? Think C2C2C, turn-key. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We invariably mesh magnetic communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We will visualize the ability of eyeballs to syndicate. Without preplanned bleeding-edge e-commerce, channels are forced to become dot-com, strategic. We will rev up our power to innovate without lessening our aptitude to leverage. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? If you reinvent nano-globally, you may have to syndicate magnetically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to generate. Do you have a scheme to become B2C?