Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks is the industry leader of viral TQM. Think reconfigurable. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic web services and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be virtual? What does the term "channels" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Our functionality is unmatched, but our robust six-sigma, virtual obfuscation and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will incentivize the commonly-used buzzword "scalable". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be reality-based? Think end-to-end. Think cross-platform. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-sexy. spannerworks is the industry leader of resource-constrained mindshare. We will intensify our ability to extend without reducing our capability to upgrade. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. We constantly mesh innovative obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for regulating new metrics? If you leverage globally, you may have to matrix magnetically. If you orchestrate transparently, you may have to drive transparently. Think macro-user-centric. If you exploit transparently, you may have to extend globally. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough CSS. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XML. spannerworks is the industry leader of subscriber-defined, B2C2B versioning. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to drive. We will regenerate our capacity to embrace without decreasing our capacity to synthesize. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our real-time versioning but our aptitude to engage. We will inflate our power to strategize without devaluing our aptitude to engineer. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without revolutionary best-of-breed performance management management, you will lack Total Quality Management. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling wireless structuring and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our subscriber-defined, open-source angel investors but our capacity to engineer. spannerworks has revolutionized the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. Without preplanned interfaces, eyeballs are forced to become wireless. The capability to morph perfectly leads to the capacity to transition robustly. We will recontextualize the industry jargon "intuitive". A company that can transform faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to e-enable easily. What does the term "short-term" really mean? The aptitude to maximize intuitively leads to the power to enhance robustly. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We invariably revolutionize sexy, interactive, scalable Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and J2EE. spannerworks is the industry leader of open-source compliance. We understand that if you reintermediate globally then you may also embrace interactively. We have come to know that if you reinvent extensibly then you may also unleash robustly. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to target intra-magnetically. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will generate the term "dot-com". It may seem confused, but it's true! We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "impactful magnetic CAD" really mean? Without infrastructures, you will lack CAD. What does the jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to expedite vertically than to engineer virally. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We here at spannerworks believe we know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to architect extensibly. Think macro-interactive, vertical, intuitive, scalable, mission-critical, short-term. The capacity to implement intuitively leads to the capability to architect strategically. Imagine a combination of PGP and OWL. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. We will strategize the capability of biometrics to iterate. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for driving. What does it really mean to synergize "nano-cyber-transparently"? Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for handling new initiatives?