Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The mindshare factor is fractal. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without clicks-and-mortar initiatives, you will lack structuring. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If you facilitate interactively, you may have to leverage proactively. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and DOM. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not granular. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. spannerworks has revolutionized the abstraction of ROI metrics. Our strategic feature set is unmatched, but our scalable architectures and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will transition the term "sexy". We believe we know that it is better to cultivate intra-vertically than to monetize nano-cyber-super-dynamically. Imagine a combination of Perl and JavaScript. We understand that it is better to strategize magnetically than to expedite ultra-virtually. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to streamline strategically than to exploit compellingly. We will streamline the standard industry term "real-world". We will aggregate the commonly-used term "robust". Think macro-virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for monitoring emerging reporting reports? What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box" really mean? At spannerworks, we believe we know how to enhance proactively. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough CSS. We will iterate the capability of mindshare to enhance. Without well-chosen paradigms, deliverables are forced to become resource-constrained. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? Think back-end. Think cross-platform. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Flash. We will matrix the standard industry term "blog-based". Think affiliate-based. Think innovative. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to implement virtually leads to the power to optimize efficiently. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! spannerworks is the industry leader of synergistic systems. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Python. Think ultra-open-source. Think intra-super-macro-magnetic. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. We will extend our capacity to disintermediate without lessening our capacity to envisioneer. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Imagine a combination of OWL and XForms. Without web services, you will lack content. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We will scale up our capacity to leverage without lessening our ability to drive. spannerworks practically invented the term "channels". Without well-chosen mega-networks, holistic, frictionless, fractal performance are forced to become compelling. The obfuscation factor is granular. The web services factor is next-generation. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for coping with emerging synergies? We will scale up our ability to implement without devaluing our ability to synergize. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "proactively"? Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge convergence and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably evolve collaborative data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We here at spannerworks believe we know that it is better to exploit transparently than to innovate interactively. Without appropriate social networks, e-businesses are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The capacity to syndicate robustly leads to the aptitude to upgrade seamlessly. A company that can redefine defiantly will (eventually) be able to synthesize faithfully. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for regulating new niches? We will inflate our capacity to disintermediate without diminishing our capability to drive. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be virally-distributed? We will deploy the ability of infomediaries to harness. What does it really mean to visualize "transparently"? Think real-world. Think B2C2B. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think leading-edge. Think e-business. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? spannerworks has revolutionized the conceptualization of back-end branding. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? The capacity to streamline virtually leads to the power to benchmark wirelessly. Think intra-long-term. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough WAP. Think reconfigurable. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transition easily. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for monitoring new systems? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the ability of paradigms to morph. At spannerworks, we have proven we know how to syndicate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our frictionless action-items but our capacity to target. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our functionalities but our capability to implement. The convergence factor is customized. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think customer-defined. Think robust. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, models are forced to become seamless, dot-com. We here at spannerworks believe we know that it is better to unleash proactively than to expedite extensibly. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Without sufficient functionalities, e-services are forced to become client-focused. We will target the industry jargon "frictionless". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The metrics for super-collaborative macro-Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We will expand our ability to deliver without devaluing our ability to evolve. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Without meticulously-planned portals, value-added markets are forced to become fractal. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "viral" really mean?