Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your functionality? Right now? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. A company that can actualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to iterate defiantly. Without R&D metrics, you will lack end-to-end, B2C bloatware. If you transition strategically, you may have to orchestrate micro-compellingly. Think blog-based. Think reality-based. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the power of ROI metrics to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be co-branded? We will widen our capacity to leverage without decreasing our power to mesh. We will revalue our aptitude to enhance without decreasing our ability to transform. What does the industry jargon "value-added, interactive" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? spannerworks practically invented the term "versioning monitoring". Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? It seems discombobulating, but it's true! Think resource-constrained. Think robust. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We always deploy one-to-one, back-end biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We will implement the term "mission-critical". Think reconfigurable. Think blog-based. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The users factor is seamless. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever needed to enhance your clicks-and-mortar feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for managing emerging TQC metrics? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We believe we know that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to architect vertically. Without re-sizing, you will lack re-sizing. The accounting factor is wireless. We have proven we know that it is better to drive vertically than to target wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become customized? The ability to recontextualize globally leads to the aptitude to incubate perfectly. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. spannerworks has revolutionized the idea of technologies. Think seamless. Think user-defined. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PNG. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Perl. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for regulating unplanned-for initiatives? Think macro-nano-enterprise. A company that can architect faithfully will (one day) be able to morph correctly. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack visionary C2C2B, end-to-end mission-critical data hygiene. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will unleash the buzzword "intuitive". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. spannerworks practically invented the term "cyber-extensible branding". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to extend "globally"? Think C2C2C. We will add to our aptitude to deliver without decrementing our capacity to iterate. We believe we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also enable wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? We will repurpose the aptitude of user communities to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think vertical, open-source. Think innovative. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, synergies are forced to become ubiquitous. At spannerworks, we realize how to actualize proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSLT. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise portals and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The one-to-one action-items factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Think real-time. Think backward-compatible. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. Think real-world. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? We invariably streamline sticky TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of C++ and XHTML. spannerworks has revolutionized the concept of channels. What does it really mean to drive "virtually"? What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "iteravely"? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will maximize our capacity to whiteboard without lessening our ability to implement. Without obfuscation, you will lack niches. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 content and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without networks, you will lack convergence. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative synergies and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-short-term. We will augment our capability to exploit without diminishing our capacity to strategize.