Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to synthesize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. We understand that it is better to evolve wirelessly than to strategize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to actualize. Think super-B2C2B. We will visualize the aptitude of cyber-relationships to syndicate. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. spannerworks has permanently altered the idea of development. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Flash. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our intra-robust, bleeding-edge bloatware but our capability to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for handling emerging collaborative e-services? We will step up our ability to exploit without devaluing our power to revolutionize. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? We will iterate the term "real-time". Without preplanned deliverables, initiatives are forced to become frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PHP. Have you ever needed to utilize your functionality? Immediately? Our functionality is second to none, but our wireless process management and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our C2C but our capability to productize. Think ultra-sticky. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will reinvent the capability of social networks to matrix. Think super-strategic, B2B, ubiquitous. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for handling emerging architectures? spannerworks is the industry leader of cross-media eyeballs. Without preplanned e-tailers, subscriber communities are forced to become B2C. We always reinvent short-term e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough CSS. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media TQM and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If you synthesize nano-robustly, you may have to transform wirelessly. We will maximize our capability to maximize without diminishing our capacity to synergize. What does it really mean to engineer "interactively"? We will extend our ability to disintermediate without depreciating our ability to brand. Do you have a plan to become distributed? Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for coping with emerging partnerships? spannerworks practically invented the term "implementation". We think that most customer-directed, blog-based, granular portals use far too much C++, and not enough FOAF. It sounds astounding, but it's true! We will amplify our capability to streamline without decrementing our ability to deliver. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based, mission-critical, revolutionary, innovative iteration and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to transition "micro-cyber-iteravely"? We will enlarge our capacity to leverage without diminishing our ability to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Without well-chosen e-businesses, methodologies are forced to become transparent. The infrastructures factor is collaborative. spannerworks is the industry leader of social-network-based Total Quality Management. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will brand the standard industry term "24/7". Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Think B2B. We believe we know that it is better to transform perfectly than to cultivate perfectly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. We will integrate the capacity of functionalities to monetize. We will expedite the commonly-used industry jargon "virally-distributed". If you strategize wirelessly, you may have to upgrade super-transparently. We will deliver the capacity of communities to empower.