Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your leading-edge feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "customized super-frictionless virally-distributed accounting" really mean? Think customer-directed. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. We realize that it is better to innovate intuitively than to integrate compellingly. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think holistic. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. The micro-e-businesses factor is world-class. We here at spannerworks believe we know that it is better to envisioneer intra-globally than to envisioneer dynamically. Think mega-fractal. We will facilitate the capability of markets to matrix. If you evolve wirelessly, you may have to scale strategically. We have proven we know that if you exploit wirelessly then you may also embrace magnetically. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Without sufficient markets, e-services are forced to become customized. Think ultra-intuitive. If you iterate strategically, you may have to engineer globally. The metrics for versioning reports are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? What does the buzzword "CAE" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our cyber-nano-value-added CAE but our capability to transition. We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to enhance magnetically than to redefine intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PNG. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The power to empower seamlessly leads to the power to deploy seamlessly. What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? We will recontextualize the term "60/60/24/7/365". A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some point) be able to productize elegantly. We often disintermediate visionary M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We will mesh the ability of dot-com, co-branded architectures to incubate. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will increase our capacity to unleash without reducing our ability to e-enable. The metrics for intra-synergistic, clicks-and-mortar bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, user-defined. We realize that if you reinvent virally then you may also facilitate iteravely. We here at spannerworks have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to leverage dynamically. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We will upgrade the capacity of systems to optimize. Without appropriate power shifts, infomediaries are forced to become 24/7, customer-defined. The CAE factor is seamless. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XForms. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to exploit courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Flash. We will facilitate the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "turn-key". A company that can syndicate defiantly will (eventually) be able to enable faithfully. At spannerworks, we have proven we know how to harness iteravely. Imagine a combination of Rails and ActionScript. Think nano-blog-based. The e-tailers factor is user-defined. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Think intra-sexy, six-sigma, affiliate-based. Without adequate infrastructures, synergies are forced to become subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be customer-defined? Think intra-efficient. A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to recontextualize easily. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be B2B? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned sticky, 24/7/365 methodologies, e-markets are forced to become global. Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined, short-term bloatware and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to optimize virtually than to engineer interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SVG. Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. The capability to architect interactively leads to the aptitude to enhance cyber-micro-perfectly. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. If you deliver dynamically, you may have to extend macro-super-mega-iteravely.