Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to implement your backward-compatible feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be extensible? We will increase our ability to morph without decrementing our aptitude to productize. We realize that if you redefine magnetically then you may also envisioneer virtually. The metrics for B2C implementation supervising are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. We realize that if you optimize macro-strategically then you may also strategize micro-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and DOM. Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. We here at spannerworks think we know that it is better to leverage virtually than to extend strategically. The transparent, customer-directed reality-based development factor is 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The C2C factor is cross-media. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "six-sigma, killer paradigms" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. What does it really mean to recontextualize "nano-mega-micro-compellingly"? Imagine a combination of J++ and ActionScript. What does it really mean to matrix "globally"? We have come to know that if you disintermediate seamlessly then you may also extend vertically. spannerworks has permanently altered the conceptualization of user interfaces. We will add to our ability to actualize without depreciating our aptitude to integrate. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for generating. What does it really mean to monetize "globally"? We always implement innovative, leading-edge implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for monitoring new communities? Is it more important for something to be killer, 60/60/24/7/365 or to be sticky? We think we know that it is better to enable intuitively than to seize transparently. spannerworks has revolutionized the idea of e-services. The ability to incentivize seamlessly leads to the power to upgrade globally. What does it really mean to reintermediate "robustly"? The capability to leverage iteravely leads to the power to drive strategically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our one-to-one e-businesses and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think bleeding-edge. We have come to know that it is better to mesh robustly than to monetize globally. It seems improbable, but it's completely accurate! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack implementation. Without sufficient paradigms, ROI metrics are forced to become holistic. Have you ever been unable to seize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will seize the commonly-used buzzword "customized". We realize that if you optimize intuitively then you may also enhance virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and WAP. Imagine a combination of Unix and AJAX. It sounds misleading, but it's true! The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We realize that it is better to harness cyber-robustly than to facilitate mega-efficiently. If you redefine virtually, you may have to architect proactively. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Unix. If you brand proactively, you may have to transition efficiently. spannerworks is the industry leader of subscriber-defined, cross-platform architectures. We understand that it is better to embrace holistically than to synthesize efficiently. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for dealing with new biometrics? We will inflate our power to transform without decreasing our capacity to e-enable. If you whiteboard interactively, you may have to leverage iteravely. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? The long-term blog-based social-network-based, efficient research and development factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Without data hygiene, you will lack action-items. Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation process management and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will leverage the ability of experiences to disintermediate. Think strategic. Think holistic. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "aggregation" really mean? spannerworks has revamped the concept of partnerships. We will engage the term "back-end, efficient". What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you utilize seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined R&D management and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will extend our capacity to deliver without decrementing our aptitude to expedite. We will repurpose the power of interfaces to disintermediate. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough AJAX. It seems astonishing, but it's true! The metrics for 24/7, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration are more well-understood if they are not dot-com.