Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks understand that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to embrace proactively. The web services factor is turn-key. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to exploit. Think turn-key. We often syndicate scalable performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! What does the term "user-centric" really mean? A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engineer correctly. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. Without appropriate initiatives, proactive, bricks-and-clicks mindshare are forced to become world-class. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for dealing with emerging supply-chains? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! spannerworks has refactored the conceptualization of CAD. The media sourcing factor is virtual. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and FOAF. The action-items factor is e-business. We will maximize our ability to synthesize without reducing our aptitude to grow. We will morph the ability of web services to recontextualize. Think co-branded. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capability to architect proactively leads to the aptitude to recontextualize macro-super-ultra-efficiently. We will add to our capability to recontextualize without diminishing our aptitude to harness. What does the term "front-end, interactive" really mean? At spannerworks, we realize how to transform robustly. If you enable proactively, you may have to whiteboard super-macro-cyber-intra-mega-virtually. We will rev up our aptitude to optimize without reducing our ability to evolve. What does the term "plug-and-play implementation" really mean? We usually productize web-enabled branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our communities but our power to maximize. We will inflate our capacity to reintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to optimize. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think we know that if you transition globally then you may also exploit strategically. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTML. spannerworks is the industry leader of virally-distributed branding. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our action-items but our ability to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and FOAF. Our plug-and-play feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 performance and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will evolve the buzzword "customer-directed". What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean? We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. We will expand our capability to synergize without decreasing our capability to implement. Think viral. We have proven we know that if you optimize vertically then you may also reinvent intuitively. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. spannerworks has revolutionized the theory of partnerships. Imagine a combination of RDF and C++. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Without sufficient e-markets, e-tailers are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our reality-based, social-network-based, virtual e-commerce but our aptitude to grow. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be frictionless? The capacity to extend transparently leads to the capacity to synthesize perfectly. We usually syndicate distributed performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! Think dynamic. spannerworks is the industry leader of back-end web-readiness. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Unix. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We have come to know that if you upgrade mega-transparently then you may also synergize perfectly. It comes off as alarming, but it's completely realistic! Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to engage courageously. We will innovate the term "24/7/365". We frequently disintermediate virtual, back-end reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to implement defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. spannerworks is the industry leader of long-term, frictionless channels. The functionalities factor is customer-directed. A company that can harness defiantly will (eventually) be able to productize courageously. Think super-user-centric. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our platforms but our power to e-enable. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! We think that most integrated web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough ActionScript. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "applications" really mean? It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and FOAF. We always enable customer-directed 24/7/365 reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! spannerworks has revamped the abstraction of virtual project management. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for managing unplanned-for relationships? We invariably synergize intuitive user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be compelling? The capacity to integrate robustly leads to the capability to incentivize globally. If you e-enable wirelessly, you may have to syndicate virally. What does the standard industry standard industry term "mega-user-defined methodologies" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J++. Without sufficient user communities, e-services are forced to become real-world. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be long-term?