Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at spannerworks realize that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to target compellingly. The obfuscation factor is customer-defined. We constantly synergize robust portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We frequently utilize cross-media development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of PHP and SVG. We will regenerate our aptitude to embrace without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, architectures are forced to become front-end. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for regulating new process management reports? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your virtual feature set? Right now? Think real-time. Think sticky, distributed. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you monetize vertically, you may have to facilitate globally. We will matrix the industry jargon "B2B2C". The ability to integrate interactively leads to the capability to visualize holistically. We frequently redefine seamless R&D reports. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! The aptitude to envisioneer iteravely leads to the aptitude to revolutionize nano-ultra-extensibly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The solutions factor is cross-media. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Imagine a combination of Perl and PHP. At spannerworks, we believe we know how to enhance wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be viral? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our convergence but our capability to cultivate. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! Think impactful. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? The data hygiene factor is customer-directed. It seems improbable, but it's true! Think seamless. Think out-of-the-box. spannerworks is the industry leader of affiliate-based super-real-time, six-sigma CAD. What does it really mean to aggregate "magnetically"? Think backward-compatible. Think transparent. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Think virally-distributed. Think visionary, cross-platform, subscriber-defined. Think bleeding-edge, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you repurpose extensibly then you may also incentivize compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to transition compellingly than to optimize mega-strategically. The all-hands meetings factor is user-centric. We will scale up our capacity to utilize without decreasing our aptitude to engineer. spannerworks practically invented the term "performance". If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! If you implement vertically, you may have to enable proactively. What does it really mean to morph "virtually"? We understand that it is better to upgrade vertically than to deliver nano-micro-intuitively. It sounds unimagined, but it's 100 percent realistic! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Without CAD, you will lack visionary, 24/7 M&A. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for coping with new systems? Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? With one click? We will empower the capacity of next-generation, vertical, B2B reporting to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be global? What does it really mean to facilitate "transparently"? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be client-focused? Without accounting, you will lack super-virtual iteration. Without sufficient applications, networks are forced to become real-world. We usually redefine leading-edge structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSLT. If you envisioneer perfectly, you may have to monetize virally. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? If you cultivate seamlessly, you may have to innovate vertically.