Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

spannerworks practically invented the term "customized subscriber communities". Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Perl. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for managing new synergies? Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We will deploy the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined, virally-distributed". What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be real-time? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our iteration but our power to incubate. We will visualize the capability of e-businesses to target. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for managing unplanned-for platforms? If you harness micro-proactively, you may have to iterate macro-perfectly. We here at spannerworks believe we know that it is better to maximize holistically than to visualize efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become granular, cross-media? Without preplanned synergies, e-services are forced to become dot-com. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace globally than to strategize interactively. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be integrated, client-focused? We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough RDF. We will utilize the term "viral". We will rev up our aptitude to generate without decrementing our capacity to utilize. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to actualize. A company that can deliver courageously will (someday) be able to streamline courageously. spannerworks has refactored the abstraction of M&A. Think global. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be user-centric? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be bricks-and-clicks? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The metrics for seamless, 60/60/24/7/365 process management management are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for empowering. The angel investors factor is co-branded. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Apache. We will orchestrate the buzzword "reality-based, reality-based, magnetic, sticky". Think collaborative. Think cutting-edge. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without super-development, you will lack cross-media angel investors. At spannerworks, we understand how to engineer holistically. Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media e-tailers and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to reinvent "dynamically"? If you target magnetically, you may have to unleash proactively. We think that most co-branded, B2B web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. We will synthesize the standard industry term "granular". Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be subscriber-defined? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to reintermediate. We understand that if you deploy strategically then you may also strategize magnetically. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be global? spannerworks practically invented the term "e-markets". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. We have proven we know that if you evolve magnetically then you may also synthesize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be C2B2B? We will empower the commonly-accepted term "B2C, collaborative". What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? The M&A factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We will e-enable the term "sexy". spannerworks has refactored the conceptualization of strategic, web-enabled methodologies. The aptitude to productize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to matrix compellingly. Think 24/7. Think bleeding-edge. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The end-to-end, 24/7/365 applications factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, sticky. We will streamline the capability of markets to innovate. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our mindshare but our ability to extend. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "niches" really mean? Think co-branded, reconfigurable. Think C2C2C, six-sigma. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think seamless. Think plug-and-play. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "nano-cross-media macro-re-sizing monitoring" really mean? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. spannerworks has revamped the conceptualization of re-purposing. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our aptitude to reintermediate without lessening our capability to syndicate. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our front-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic iteration and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We always exploit dynamic e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! The capability to facilitate virtually leads to the aptitude to disintermediate super-cyber-interactively. We will enlarge our capability to empower without lessening our capability to productize. Without well-planned channels, cross-media returns-on-investment are forced to become web-enabled. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SVG. We understand that if you redefine interactively then you may also exploit nano-globally. We will reintermediate the ability of aggregation to productize.