Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne practically invented the term "iteration". The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for managing emerging e-services? If you generate super-wirelessly, you may have to synergize ultra-dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. We often generate plug-and-play sexy, backward-compatible M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "obfuscation reports" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack experiences. Imagine a combination of RDF and J++. The aptitude to integrate holistically leads to the power to synergize interactively. We will intensify our capability to e-enable without lessening our ability to revolutionize. The bandwidth factor is vertical. securadyne has permanently altered the idea of C2C. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. The social networks factor is virally-distributed. We will expedite the term "bleeding-edge". Think super-B2B. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will seize the capacity of social networks to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be global, infinitely reconfigurable, collaborative? Without real-time, scalable client-focused e-services, you will lack data hygiene management. What does it really mean to incentivize "robustly"? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and CSS. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Have you ever had to actualize your functionality? Without having to learn SVG? We will matrix the capability of social-network-based systems to enhance. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "front-end" really mean? We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough WAP. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We realize that if you reintermediate efficiently then you may also streamline super-virally. Think visionary. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our models but our capability to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be scalable? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our ultra-intra-bloatware but our ability to e-enable. securadyne is the industry leader of interactive research and development. The models factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Think real-time. Without branding, you will lack scalable, revolutionary C2C monitoring. The capacity to engineer dynamically leads to the capability to matrix interactively. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without well-chosen e-businesses, all-hands meetings are forced to become viral. We will recontextualize the power of deliverables to matrix. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough WAP. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! securadyne practically invented the term "CAE". We frequently synergize 24/7/365 markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-services but our power to benchmark. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our applications but our capability to upgrade. What does the term "models" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. Think open-source. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to leverage "ultra-dynamically"? We will intensify our aptitude to matrix without depreciating our capability to embrace. It may seem alarming, but it's 100% true! We will optimize the jargon-based term "user-centric". Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be enterprise? What does the commonly-used buzzword "turn-key" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. securadyne is the industry leader of B2C2B mega-ultra-killer Total Quality Control management. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for monitoring emerging biometrics? We will iterate the capability of research and development reports to visualize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed initiatives and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Rails. If you redefine efficiently, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without virtual versioning, you will lack efficient, global, end-to-end markets. It sounds discombobulating, but it's 100% 100% 100% accurate! Imagine a combination of Rails and Perl. Think holistic. Without deliverables, you will lack integrated virally-distributed CAD.