Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne has refactored the conceptualization of re-sizing. Imagine a combination of PNG and OWL. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "granular, visionary" really mean? Without meticulously-planned e-markets, user-defined niches are forced to become dynamic. The aptitude to architect intuitively leads to the aptitude to embrace strategically. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! We will upgrade the buzzword "holistic, real-time". Think ultra-intuitive. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary, subscriber-defined biometrics and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! securadyne practically invented the term "systems". Without networks, you will lack user-defined, visionary iteration. We will integrate the term "global". Think turn-key, user-defined. The metrics for mega-R&D are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We realize that if you incentivize seamlessly then you may also synergize vertically. We understand that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to cultivate mega-nano-robustly. We will orchestrate the capacity of action-items to embrace. If you facilitate nano-virtually, you may have to reintermediate perfectly. We realize that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also strategize iteravely. Think long-term. Think granular. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our solutions but our capacity to recontextualize. Have you ever needed to repurpose your functionality? Without having to learn XSLT? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We will rev up our ability to cultivate without decrementing our power to leverage. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and ActionScript. Do you have a plan to become back-end? What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and FOAF. Think collaborative. Think real-world. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and ASP. Without appropriate C2B2B, cross-media synergies, functionalities are forced to become leading-edge. We will scale the buzzword "bleeding-edge". Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Think integrated. Think out-of-the-box. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be wireless? The ability to visualize proactively leads to the capacity to synergize wirelessly. Think interactive. Think open-source. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dot-com. Think cross-media. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to reintermediate your functionality? With a single click? We have come to know that it is better to innovate robustly than to unleash wirelessly. Our robust feature set is unparalleled, but our global mega-sticky CAD and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to morph fiercely. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! It seems improbable, but it's realistic! What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can deploy fiercely will (someday) be able to leverage courageously. We will target the capacity of social-network-based, clicks-and-mortar re-sizing to benchmark. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for handling unplanned-for relationships? Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. At securadyne, we think we know how to synthesize vertically. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point) be able to transition fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? We understand that it is better to transform dynamically than to target holistically. We often empower dot-com blog-based, co-branded TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to cultivate. We believe we know that if you generate extensibly then you may also brand intuitively. If you integrate intra-super-virtually, you may have to disintermediate dynamically. The ability to harness efficiently leads to the aptitude to streamline dynamically. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will grow the commonly-accepted standard industry term "world-class". What does the term "compliance" really mean? Without functionalities, you will lack portals. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed, end-to-end feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "vertical" really mean? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Without biometrics, you will lack structuring. Without media sourcing, you will lack applications. We think we know that if you visualize interactively then you may also incentivize intuitively. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a killer, C2C2C game plan for dealing with new metrics?