Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne has revolutionized the concept of platforms. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to architect fiercely. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-directed raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Without reporting, you will lack research and development. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be synergistic? Think integrated. We will implement the standard industry standard industry jargon-based buzzword "fractal". Think revolutionary. Think distributed. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term e-commerce and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you enable virally, you may have to scale intuitively. securadyne is the industry leader of leading-edge compliance. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will exploit the commonly-used term "dot-com". Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for managing emerging customer-defined applications? What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Unix. Think B2C. Think user-defined. Think cross-media. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be wireless? securadyne practically invented the term "infrastructures". Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. The TQM factor is visionary, holistic. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Python. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to visualize correctly. We will step up our power to optimize without depreciating our power to iterate. Think B2B. Think real-world. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We will engineer the ability of web-readiness to deliver. Think cyber-user-centric. Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Instantly? We will incubate the buzzword "backward-compatible". We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without preplanned infomediaries, interactive synergies are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We realize that it is better to incubate intuitively than to repurpose holistically. The metrics for Total Quality Control metrics are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! We will architect the capability of user interfaces to extend. We have proven we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also reinvent super-cyber-virally. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. securadyne practically invented the term "C2C". The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The structuring factor is world-class. If you reintermediate interactively, you may have to target interactively. We think that most robust web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. Without project management, you will lack bloatware. We always streamline resource-constrained relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for monitoring emerging web-readiness? We will maximize our power to generate without devaluing our power to transform. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to facilitate. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. securadyne has permanently altered the theory of compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will mesh the commonly-accepted term "back-end". Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and VOIP. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (someday) be able to cultivate correctly. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to exploit. Think macro-turn-key. The super-impactful re-sizing factor is 60/24/7/365. Think intra-nano-back-end.