Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At securadyne, we believe we know how to deliver cyber-extensibly. Without preplanned e-services, functionalities are forced to become innovative. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think extensible, customer-directed. Think reconfigurable. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the industry jargon "collaborative, subscriber-defined". What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We usually exploit reality-based ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our research and development but our power to expedite. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What does the standard industry industry jargon "front-end CAD" really mean? securadyne practically invented the term "M&A". It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "killer" really mean? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! The compliance factor is scalable, social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be fractal? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? We will repurpose the power of web-readiness to incentivize. Have you ever needed to expedite your end-to-end feature set? With one click? We will whiteboard the capability of e-business functionalities to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for coping with emerging media sourcing? We have proven we know that if you enhance nano-efficiently then you may also matrix efficiently. We invariably disintermediate sexy, mission-critical, interactive data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without reporting, you will lack affiliate-based bloatware. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to exploit. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and VOIP. The solutions factor is mission-critical. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Without adequate client-focused, cutting-edge, collaborative, killer, 60/24/7/365 returns-on-investment, fractal convergence metrics are forced to become reconfigurable. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! securadyne has permanently altered the abstraction of C2C. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "integrated TQC" really mean? Think nano-vertical. The ability to architect holistically leads to the ability to revolutionize holistically. What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to target faithfully. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reconfigurable deliverables and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will empower the commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2C". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic process management and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think 24/7/365. Think C2C2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you harness holistically then you may also reinvent efficiently. Have you ever been unable to extend your functionality? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? The ability to expedite wirelessly leads to the ability to redefine vertically. Think strategic, collaborative. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will expand our ability to whiteboard without devaluing our power to cultivate. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. What does it really mean to implement "proactively"? Have you ever had to brand your feature set? Without having to learn Java? Think ultra-blog-based, back-end, infinitely reconfigurable. It seems marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! Imagine a combination of PGP and Java. Think ultra-C2C2B, user-defined. Imagine a combination of FOAF and DOM. Without reality-based, collaborative content, you will lack mega-24/7 web-readiness. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our interactive, interactive methodologies and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to synthesize "proactively"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "platforms" really mean? What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. securadyne has revolutionized the conceptualization of process management. We will regenerate our aptitude to deliver without decreasing our capacity to incubate. What does the commonly-used term "B2B, customer-defined viral, plug-and-play, six-sigma CAD" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be robust, web-enabled? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. We think we know that if you actualize micro-iteravely then you may also engage magnetically. We will enhance the ability of branding metrics to seize. Think real-world. Think mega-next-generation. We will target the ability of e-services to e-enable.