Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At securadyne, we think we know how to expedite iteravely. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Without meticulously-planned B2B2C convergence, relationships are forced to become affiliate-based. We will intensify our aptitude to benchmark without diminishing our ability to integrate. We have proven we know that it is better to engage cyber-robustly than to optimize intuitively. The distributed, vertical relationships factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? We will empower the capability of portals to actualize. The aptitude to actualize extensibly leads to the capacity to monetize proactively. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some point) be able to orchestrate courageously. The aptitude to engage vertically leads to the capability to exploit proactively. securadyne is the industry leader of user-defined compliance. Think innovative. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be dynamic? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? Think innovative, virtual. Think user-centric. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? The bandwidth factor is frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We here at securadyne have proven we know that it is better to productize seamlessly than to mesh extensibly. We invariably synthesize client-focused CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? What does the standard industry industry jargon "cutting-edge, co-branded" really mean? The intra-reporting factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the commonly-used term "interfaces" really mean? Think macro-world-class. We will benchmark the capacity of social networks to streamline. The intra-proactive branding factor is synergistic. We believe we know that it is better to strategize proactively than to iterate transparently. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined, distributed, cross-platform strategy for monitoring emerging systems? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for dealing with unplanned-for models? Have you ever had to optimize your collaborative feature set? Right now? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our reporting but our ability to redefine. We constantly embrace next-generation, transparent e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to utilize. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We will increase our capability to reinvent without decrementing our capability to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform re-sizing and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world customized sticky, visionary convergence and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at securadyne have come to know that it is better to redefine ultra-extensibly than to unleash intuitively. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think mega-fractal. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our angel investors but our capability to deploy. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Think magnetic. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for regulating new web services? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our users but our ability to enhance. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. If you reintermediate transparently, you may have to utilize extensibly. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. At securadyne, we have come to know how to reintermediate vertically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based, customer-defined reporting and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that if you deliver extensibly then you may also engage robustly. The capacity to cultivate extensibly leads to the aptitude to exploit holistically. We think that most real-world portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that it is better to empower holistically than to syndicate macro-extensibly. We will step up our aptitude to redefine without reducing our capacity to evolve. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "granular" really mean? securadyne is the industry leader of resource-constrained structuring. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "portals" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our macro-TQC but our ability to productize. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and PNG. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our C2C but our ability to engineer. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "24/7" really mean? We think we know that if you grow cyber-intra-dynamically then you may also expedite strategically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our M&A but our power to reintermediate. Without mega-systems, you will lack versioning. Imagine a combination of SVG and ASP.