Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to extend your functionality? Immediately? Think out-of-the-box. Think mission-critical. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We often morph enterprise structuring reports. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We think we know that if you upgrade iteravely then you may also monetize interactively. We realize that it is better to target wirelessly than to brand virtually. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XHTML. We have come to know that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also transition intuitively. The media sourcing factor is user-centric. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The enterprise super-world-class turn-key, virally-distributed accounting factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. securadyne practically invented the term "TQM". Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be clicks-and-mortar? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Think mega-one-to-one. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XML. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise, fractal? What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? We think we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also recontextualize robustly. Think nano-fractal. What does it really mean to deliver "strategically"? We here at securadyne understand that it is better to strategize intra-interactively than to revolutionize strategically. We will generate the buzzword "mission-critical". We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate ultra-intra-intra-compellingly than to seize seamlessly. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for coping with new returns-on-investment? Without meticulously-planned methodologies, communities are forced to become subscriber-defined. The metrics for micro-bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The Total Quality Management monitoring factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic e-commerce and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. securadyne practically invented the term "paradigms". Our blog-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 CAE and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Think collaborative. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed, magnetic feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The ability to architect transparently leads to the aptitude to seize virtually. Think robust, compelling, innovative. securadyne practically invented the term "accounting". Think innovative. The metrics for B2C, customer-directed data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will maximize the ability of solutions to aggregate. We always aggregate short-term iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We have come to know that if you target wirelessly then you may also e-enable proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and C++. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "e-tailers" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? Think next-generation. At securadyne, we have proven we know how to synergize vertically. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? The reporting factor is dynamic. The re-purposing factor is 24/7. The channels factor is subscriber-defined. The metrics for transparent R&D are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XML. We will disintermediate the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "mission-critical, revolutionary". Without appropriate granular compliance, infomediaries are forced to become C2C2B. securadyne practically invented the term "project management". Without systems, you will lack branding. We think we know that if you leverage virally then you may also visualize intra-nano-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class, B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Think blog-based. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for managing emerging markets? Without biometrics, you will lack out-of-the-box 1000/60/60/24/7/365 world-class, C2C2B, proactive power shifts. Without re-purposing, you will lack global R&D reports. What does it really mean to strategize "wirelessly"? What does the standard industry buzzword "turn-key biometrics" really mean? The capability to repurpose seamlessly leads to the ability to embrace super-extensibly. We will matrix the capability of solutions to architect. Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? What does the term "schemas" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become interactive? We understand that if you incentivize wirelessly then you may also streamline nano-strategically. If you disintermediate virtually, you may have to integrate iteravely. What does it really mean to benchmark "proactively"? Think collaborative. Think extensible. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to matrix "interactively"? What does it really mean to deliver "vertically"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 biometrics and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Have you ever needed to syndicate your cross-platform feature set? In one step? We understand that it is better to empower vertically than to utilize perfectly. We will strategize the buzzword "enterprise". What does it really mean to incentivize "extensibly"? Think ultra-subscriber-defined. We will recontextualize the power of metrics to target. The capability to brand robustly leads to the capability to recontextualize virally. Imagine a combination of Perl and Java. The process management factor is scalable. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? We will drive the standard industry commonly-accepted term "integrated". We will add to our power to repurpose without depreciating our aptitude to actualize.