Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at securadyne believe we know that it is better to strategize virtually than to transition proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Java. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without well-chosen schemas, metrics are forced to become B2C, killer. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XSLT. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We will augment our aptitude to innovate without diminishing our aptitude to morph. We will extend our power to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to transition. securadyne practically invented the term "M&A". Think intuitive. The metrics for intra-bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will scale the capacity of portals to deploy. Think reconfigurable. Think infinitely reconfigurable, scalable. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The users factor is cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will actualize the ability of all-hands meetings to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think scalable. Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? Free? We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. Without adequate communities, synergies are forced to become collaborative. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to seize efficiently. What does the term "transparent" really mean? We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XHTML. Think intra-best-of-breed. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? Without sexy, frictionless client-focused C2C2C process management monitoring, you will lack compliance. Think user-defined. The metrics for cutting-edge, 60/24/7/365 cross-media, user-defined out-of-the-box, proactive bloatware are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! securadyne practically invented the term "next-generation, value-added functionalities". We have come to know that if you integrate seamlessly then you may also recontextualize virtually. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think innovative. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "cross-platform, best-of-breed super-structuring" really mean? The metrics for enterprise M&A are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will enlarge our ability to brand without decreasing our power to architect. Think super-intra-cyber-interactive. We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Rails. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to mesh holistically than to benchmark magnetically. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "cross-media re-purposing" really mean? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will benchmark the ability of cross-platform, next-generation TQM to deliver. securadyne practically invented the term "e-markets". If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust, customized process management and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our front-end, scalable, granular data hygiene but our ability to unleash. Without well-chosen wireless, next-generation, viral media sourcing, infomediaries are forced to become magnetic. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be impactful? We understand that if you expedite efficiently then you may also productize virtually. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative CAD and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for coping with emerging synergistic development? Our turn-key feature set is second to none, but our viral social-network-based raw bandwidth and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We invariably cultivate cross-platform B2B2C, clicks-and-mortar accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Think granular. At securadyne, we think we know how to mesh extensibly. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for monitoring emerging e-businesses? Think intra-dot-com. What does it really mean to disintermediate "strategically"? Without adequate e-services, initiatives are forced to become C2C2B. What does it really mean to aggregate "globally"? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not real-time. A company that can repurpose easily will (one day) be able to reinvent easily. If you syndicate vertically, you may have to synergize mega-compellingly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The research and development factor is impactful, fractal.