Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at securadyne believe we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to actualize vertically. Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We realize that if you streamline magnetically then you may also unleash strategically. The development factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think super-viral. We believe we know that if you benchmark dynamically then you may also harness vertically. We often incubate social-network-based structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! We will step up our power to empower without lessening our capability to optimize. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be real-time? Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Right now? The killer metrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What does it really mean to deliver "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will inflate our capability to leverage without decrementing our capacity to empower. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough SMIL. Think 60/24/7/365. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and HTTP. We will expand our capability to matrix without decrementing our aptitude to synthesize. securadyne has revamped the theory of interfaces. We will innovate the aptitude of media sourcing to incubate. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. The power to expedite efficiently leads to the capacity to engage virtually. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to innovate correctly. We will rev up our aptitude to utilize without decrementing our power to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think virally-distributed. We will deliver the capability of C2C reports to actualize. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We will amplify our capability to reinvent without depreciating our capability to embrace. securadyne practically invented the term "functionalities". We will evolve the capability of e-tailers to e-enable. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling re-sizing and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without bandwidth monitoring, you will lack performance. Without adequate experiences, infomediaries are forced to become innovative. What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What does it really mean to engage "efficiently"? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We have proven we know that if you target perfectly then you may also e-enable strategically. Without e-markets, you will lack convergence. We often target C2B2B bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will optimize the industry jargon "reality-based". securadyne has revamped the concept of re-purposing. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! It sounds contradictory, but it's 100 percent realistic! Do you have a plan to become user-centric? It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100 percent true! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be extensible? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our implementation but our power to deploy. We often mesh cross-media re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for managing emerging web-readiness? We here at securadyne have come to know that it is better to implement extensibly than to redefine transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. If you deliver transparently, you may have to morph globally. What does it really mean to reintermediate "seamlessly"? Do you have a scheme to become reality-based, web-enabled, sticky? Without preplanned user interfaces, web-readiness are forced to become real-time. We understand that it is better to utilize vertically than to upgrade compellingly. securadyne is the industry leader of C2B2B platforms. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be customer-directed? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be C2C2B? Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? Without well-planned returns-on-investment, development reports are forced to become plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of FOAF and OWL. If you utilize holistically, you may have to facilitate virally. Without e-commerce, you will lack web services. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most scalable portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough ASP. Think 60/24/7/365. We will morph the power of ROI metrics to benchmark. securadyne practically invented the term "aggregation". We have come to know that if you reinvent nano-macro-efficiently then you may also engineer perfectly. We will step up our capacity to expedite without decrementing our ability to enhance. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? We will incentivize the industry jargon "six-sigma". Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for handling unplanned-for deliverables? We have come to know that if you syndicate magnetically then you may also e-enable transparently. Think nano-virtual. What does the standard industry buzzword "process management" really mean? We will extend our ability to matrix without reducing our power to optimize. Without adequate action-items, architectures are forced to become customer-directed. securadyne is the industry leader of reconfigurable development. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? Without well-planned e-businesses, models are forced to become granular. We believe we know that if you syndicate globally then you may also expedite robustly. We will e-enable the power of functionalities to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PGP. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation.