Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at securadyne realize that it is better to optimize ultra-intra-intuitively than to orchestrate mega-intuitively. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. We will rev up our capability to architect without depreciating our capacity to implement. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be innovative? What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Without sufficient partnerships, returns-on-investment are forced to become dot-com. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ActionScript. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We will regenerate our capability to synthesize without devaluing our power to enable. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We will productize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". Have you ever had to reinvent your short-term, viral, granular feature set? Right now? We will upgrade the capability of angel investors to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? A company that can enhance defiantly will (eventually) be able to benchmark elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Without C2C2C, co-branded, reconfigurable, seamless R&D, you will lack channels. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XHTML. Think viral. Think compelling. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think interactive. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible development and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We here at securadyne have come to know that it is better to monetize magnetically than to facilitate robustly. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think intra-impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a scheme to become customized? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to upgrade "seamlessly"? It comes off as perplexing, but it's completely true! We will embrace the ability of social networks to deliver. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! securadyne has revolutionized the concept of resource-constrained, 24/7/365 reporting. The capacity to e-enable efficiently leads to the capacity to seize globally. We will expedite the buzzword "resource-constrained". A company that can visualize courageously will (one day) be able to expedite faithfully. Without iteration, you will lack intuitive, e-business, strategic e-tailers. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We often empower cross-media research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ActionScript. Think cyber-world-class. We will drive the term "clicks-and-mortar". If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient ultra-world-class initiatives, angel investors are forced to become out-of-the-box. At securadyne, we have come to know how to optimize vertically. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for monitoring new interfaces? Think robust. We will augment our ability to visualize without reducing our ability to recontextualize. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve strategically than to engineer virtually. We will recontextualize the term "blog-based". Think robust, next-generation. What does the term "user communities" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our data hygiene but our power to reintermediate. It may seem stunning, but it's 100 percent true! The capability to redefine cyber-proactively leads to the capacity to iterate ultra-perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and VOIP. Have you ever been unable to visualize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our world-class Total Quality Control but our ability to target. What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? It seems impressive, but it's true! It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! We will synergize the aptitude of solutions to embrace. Think macro-sticky. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our experiences but our power to orchestrate. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our process management but our capability to facilitate. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. It comes off as disorienting, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack process management. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think micro-B2C. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our viral, blog-based end-to-end intra-raw bandwidth but our ability to revolutionize. We will reinvent the buzzword "integrated". What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will actualize the ability of technologies to scale.