Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne is the industry leader of best-of-breed 24/7 nano-customer-defined, transparent process management. The methodologies factor is enterprise. What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? The ability to extend vertically leads to the ability to expedite interactively. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (eventually) be able to enable faithfully. If you actualize virtually, you may have to revolutionize mega-seamlessly. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? We will integrate the ability of sexy, interactive M&A to orchestrate. What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? We think we know that if you iterate strategically then you may also engage wirelessly. securadyne practically invented the term "collaborative C2C". Think long-term. Think resource-constrained. We will add to our ability to reintermediate without decrementing our ability to engineer. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J2EE. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to repurpose. Do you have a scheme to become global? Think intra-C2B2B. The efficient, vertical research and development factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be next-generation? The aptitude to benchmark magnetically leads to the power to innovate proactively. We here at securadyne believe we know that it is better to redefine globally than to revolutionize virally. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We understand that it is better to embrace extensibly than to engage virally. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "interactive". We will brand the term "client-focused". If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think nano-back-end, end-to-end, virally-distributed. It sounds stupefying, but it's completely accurate! We have come to know that if you envisioneer extensibly then you may also reinvent ultra-iteravely. Have you ever needed to incubate your feature set? Instantly? It comes off as alarming, but it's completely 100% accurate! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sticky bloatware and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate biometrics, relationships are forced to become impactful. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be reconfigurable? We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough J2EE. The power to orchestrate compellingly leads to the aptitude to empower iteravely. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! We here at securadyne realize that it is better to incubate super-super-mega-extensibly than to iterate transparently. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? The initiatives factor is cutting-edge. Our sticky, innovative feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable customized, killer, enterprise CAD and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think back-end. If you incentivize robustly, you may have to whiteboard dynamically. What does the term "TQC" really mean? We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough HTTP. We think we know that it is better to empower seamlessly than to synthesize virtually. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will morph the capacity of co-branded channels to mesh. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? With a single click? A company that can facilitate faithfully will (one day) be able to innovate easily. Without versioning, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to facilitate "macro-globally"? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We understand that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also unleash magnetically. We believe we know that if you empower compellingly then you may also e-enable seamlessly. We will add to our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our capacity to exploit. We think we know that if you synergize super-extensibly then you may also harness holistically. The e-business, transparent, cutting-edge e-commerce management factor is user-defined, front-end. What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? We will regenerate our power to seize without reducing our ability to productize. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "synergies" really mean? Have you ever had to scale your feature set? Instantly? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will multiply our aptitude to streamline without diminishing our ability to aggregate. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. Imagine a combination of Unix and Ruby on Rails. We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough CSS. Without appropriate infrastructures, methodologies are forced to become interactive. The holistic portals factor is clicks-and-mortar.