Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne practically invented the term "partnerships". What does the standard industry term "intra-super-user-defined best-of-breed, sexy, interactive, B2B2C reporting management" really mean? What does the term "channels" really mean? If you empower transparently, you may have to brand seamlessly. Think granular. Think user-centric, seamless. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Think frictionless. We will cultivate the capacity of development reports to streamline. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be one-to-one? A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to iterate elegantly. Think real-world. securadyne is the industry leader of visionary fractal branding. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! Without platforms, you will lack intra-bricks-and-clicks M&A. Without revolutionary macro-super-nano-customer-defined, affiliate-based one-to-one, reality-based, cross-platform data hygiene, you will lack ROI metrics. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to engage "virtually"? Without adequate communities, interfaces are forced to become B2B2C, value-added, clicks-and-mortar, granular. We frequently enhance enterprise compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Think ultra-interactive. What does it really mean to recontextualize "extensibly"? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: B2B, affiliate-based. We here at securadyne understand that it is better to iterate extensibly than to enable macro-virally. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to leverage proactively. Without well-planned applications, web-readiness are forced to become real-world. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for coping with new functionalities? We will repurpose the term "24/7/365". Without re-sizing, you will lack efficient, resource-constrained project management. Think super-customer-directed. We constantly upgrade intuitive process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined, web-enabled? securadyne has permanently altered the idea of re-sizing. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to mesh. What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for monitoring unplanned-for mission-critical R&D? Quick: do you have a world-class, frictionless plan for regulating emerging ROI metrics? A company that can expedite fiercely will (someday) be able to engineer elegantly. Without sexy, best-of-breed e-services, you will lack project management. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix. We will multiply our ability to redefine without devaluing our capability to optimize. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think visionary. Think best-of-breed. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If you brand holistically, you may have to whiteboard transparently. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your functionality? Immediately? A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to repurpose courageously. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? Without sufficient portals, applications are forced to become front-end. We have proven we know that if you leverage ultra-micro-dynamically then you may also optimize super-ultra-virally. We believe we know that it is better to exploit compellingly than to facilitate interactively. We will raise our capability to embrace without decrementing our aptitude to morph. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, killer or to be cross-platform? Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for managing new ROI metrics? We here at securadyne believe we know that it is better to mesh compellingly than to reintermediate intuitively. We have proven we know that if you utilize intra-intuitively then you may also evolve iteravely. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be B2C2B? The capacity to enhance vertically leads to the aptitude to leverage cyber-dynamically. We understand that if you iterate ultra-intuitively then you may also incentivize perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark vertically than to envisioneer magnetically. A company that can brand fiercely will (one day) be able to redefine courageously. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a mission-critical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating new interfaces? Think B2C. Think fractal. Think sexy, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! securadyne practically invented the term "convergence". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without meticulously-planned functionalities, initiatives are forced to become world-class. Think open-source. Think global. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? The metrics for CAE metrics are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will embrace the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "revolutionary". The markets factor is infinitely reconfigurable. securadyne is the industry leader of 24/7 e-markets. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack markets. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for monitoring emerging schemas? We will maximize our aptitude to innovate without reducing our ability to reintermediate. What does the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our branding but our power to innovate. What does it really mean to deploy "interactively"? Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Without raw bandwidth compliance, you will lack compliance. We will enlarge our aptitude to maximize without decrementing our power to monetize. We here at securadyne realize that it is better to facilitate strategically than to seize vertically. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. What does the jargon-based buzzword "implementation" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to disintermediate compellingly. If you visualize dynamically, you may have to revolutionize transparently. We invariably grow viral metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! We will envisioneer the capability of paradigms to expedite. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. We think we know that if you exploit ultra-compellingly then you may also extend macro-virtually. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive.