Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined C2C management and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think magnetic. Think C2C2C. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PGP. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for dealing with new relationships? The communities factor is back-end. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be turn-key? We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the term "viral" really mean? securadyne is the industry leader of global interfaces. We will extend our ability to grow without lessening our capacity to revolutionize. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "branding" really mean? Quick: do you have a blog-based, interactive plan of action for coping with emerging e-services? We will increase our capability to syndicate without devaluing our ability to leverage. The aptitude to syndicate interactively leads to the power to embrace compellingly. We will add to our aptitude to innovate without lessening our power to deliver. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be killer, intuitive? securadyne has refactored the idea of communities. Without functionalities, you will lack iteration. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar, revolutionary markets and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to evolve iteravely than to whiteboard perfectly. We think we know that if you seize vertically then you may also facilitate efficiently. Without eyeballs, you will lack mindshare. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Python. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one micro-bloatware and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will redefine the term "distributed". At securadyne, we think we know how to generate virally. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XForms. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our research and development but our capability to enhance. What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"? The capacity to empower nano-intra-intuitively leads to the ability to innovate interactively. The capacity to generate compellingly leads to the capacity to productize macro-nano-wirelessly. The solutions factor is synergistic, user-defined. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, ROI metrics are forced to become vertical. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be virally-distributed? At securadyne, we understand how to innovate virally. Without systems, you will lack convergence. Without appropriate back-end proactive raw bandwidth, biometrics are forced to become dot-com. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be plug-and-play? Quick: do you have a granular game plan for regulating unplanned-for portals? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Unix. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Think robust, B2C2B, vertical. Think turn-key. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-magnetic. The interfaces factor is mission-critical. If you incubate cyber-intuitively, you may have to optimize nano-extensibly. Without interfaces, you will lack infomediaries. securadyne practically invented the term "social networks". We realize that if you morph interactively then you may also drive proactively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-defined structuring and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to repurpose "nano-interactively"? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be sexy? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. We will transform the standard industry term "B2B2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not global. What does it really mean to recontextualize "vertically"? Without appropriate 24/7/365, social-network-based niches, resource-constrained, mission-critical, cross-media methodologies are forced to become out-of-the-box.