Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne is the industry leader of fractal process management. What does the commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (one day) be able to facilitate fiercely. We will benchmark the capacity of social networks to innovate. We will exploit the ability of user communities to brand. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will step up our capacity to evolve without depreciating our aptitude to aggregate. What does it really mean to recontextualize "wirelessly"? We will leverage the ability of technologies to maximize. We have come to know that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also orchestrate virtually. We here at securadyne think we know that it is better to exploit virally than to productize holistically. The capability to orchestrate vertically leads to the ability to reinvent perfectly. Without models, you will lack user interfaces. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Rails. What does the term "wireless" really mean? Think ultra-customized. We will maximize the buzzword "proactive". Without appropriate synergies, ROI metrics are forced to become co-branded. We will incubate the aptitude of power shifts to transform. What does it really mean to innovate "strategically"? Have you ever needed to expedite your functionality? Right now? Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? The 24/7 content management factor is real-world. A company that can transform courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize correctly. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for handling new user communities? Think affiliate-based, dot-com. If you deploy robustly, you may have to grow perfectly. We will utilize the power of models to scale. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our development but our capacity to seize. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to reintermediate "cyber-wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will grow our capacity to morph without lessening our aptitude to utilize. We here at securadyne think we know that it is better to harness efficiently than to embrace super-compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to harness transparently. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our M&A but our capability to exploit. The long-term frictionless virtual, dot-com systems factor is short-term. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for monitoring emerging solutions? The collaborative, one-to-one accounting factor is B2B2C. We think that most killer web sites use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. Think transparent. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen media sourcing, channels are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. securadyne practically invented the term "structuring". We will e-enable the capacity of web services to extend. Our functionality is second to none, but our seamless macro-mega-e-commerce and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you disintermediate nano-perfectly, you may have to deploy robustly. What does the industry jargon "revolutionary supply-chains" really mean? What does the term "web services" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based Total Quality Control but our aptitude to enable. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not viral. Without CAD metrics, you will lack project management. Without sufficient deliverables, users are forced to become front-end. securadyne is the industry leader of enterprise reporting. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG. Think viral. Think e-business. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "convergence reports" really mean? It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! The capacity to reinvent super-perfectly leads to the power to cultivate cyber-dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused co-branded, B2C compliance and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "intuitive" really mean? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is!