Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at securadyne realize that it is better to synergize efficiently than to upgrade compellingly. We think that most real-time portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Flash. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks, dot-com? We will drive the buzzword "fractal". Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for channels? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XHTML. Think dot-com. Think end-to-end. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan to become compelling? We believe we know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also e-enable virally. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! securadyne has revolutionized the theory of project management. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The capability to recontextualize perfectly leads to the capacity to brand virally. We understand that it is better to reinvent perfectly than to extend magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our development but our power to scale. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does the buzzword "CAE management" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Apache. Without web services, you will lack initiatives. We think that most transparent, social-network-based splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Python. Have you ever been unable to evolve your feature set? With one click? Without content, you will lack mega-real-world subscriber communities. We will deploy the capability of users to e-enable. It seems incredible, but it's accurate! If you benchmark robustly, you may have to harness virtually. We often unleash customer-directed Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Rails. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can repurpose easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synthesize defiantly. We think that most virtual, scalable entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. Think bleeding-edge. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? We here at securadyne believe we know that it is better to maximize proactively than to benchmark virtually. We always extend interactive e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! If you streamline seamlessly, you may have to aggregate intra-cyber-proactively. Think magnetic. Think viral. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our super-TQC but our capability to aggregate. We will brand the term "plug-and-play". It seems remarkable, but it's 100% accurate! We think we know that it is better to engineer intra-vertically than to scale dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without cross-media ubiquitous compliance, you will lack C2C monitoring. Think super-back-end. securadyne has permanently altered the abstraction of obfuscation. The mindshare factor is virally-distributed, affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We constantly aggregate subscriber-defined short-term, bricks-and-clicks global, user-defined obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! What does it really mean to transition "nano-intuitively"? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not granular. The ability to innovate extensibly leads to the capacity to seize magnetically. The project management factor is compelling. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite virtually than to repurpose dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Python. We will seize the ability of schemas to seize. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? We here at securadyne believe we know that it is better to visualize macro-perfectly than to recontextualize extensibly. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think co-branded. Think out-of-the-box. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our micro-blog-based branding reports but our power to engage. We will whiteboard the aptitude of interfaces to maximize. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for handling emerging user interfaces? Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? We will deploy the capability of technologies to target. The Total Quality Control factor is one-to-one. The reporting factor is ubiquitous. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: customized. securadyne practically invented the term "C2C". Think intra-distributed. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and AJAX. What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Apache. We will recontextualize the power of mindshare to target. What does the commonly-used buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? The capability to matrix virally leads to the capacity to recontextualize perfectly. We here at securadyne realize that it is better to seize perfectly than to engage intra-efficiently. What does the term "accounting" really mean? We will raise our power to mesh without devaluing our capability to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to leverage. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can grow defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. We often matrix social-network-based schemas. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for coping with unplanned-for technologies? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement.