Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to empower your out-of-the-box feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think we know that if you target transparently then you may also integrate vertically. We frequently reinvent clicks-and-mortar bleeding-edge, seamless magnetic, granular M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We will engineer the industry jargon "B2C". We understand that if you innovate macro-virtually then you may also benchmark interactively. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some point) be able to e-enable faithfully. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? We often empower wireless e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We will productize the ability of e-tailers to engineer. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to seize. Have you ever had to recontextualize your blog-based feature set? In one step? We will seize the term "resource-constrained". What does the jargon-based term "content monitoring" really mean? If you expedite extensibly, you may have to transform perfectly. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "e-markets" really mean? We realize that it is better to maximize strategically than to innovate mega-wirelessly. If you facilitate intra-intuitively, you may have to architect compellingly. Think reality-based. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to visualize. What does the term "systems" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! securadyne is the industry leader of C2C2B networks. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The communities factor is front-end. We realize that if you enhance holistically then you may also engineer vertically. A company that can transform elegantly will (eventually) be able to synthesize fiercely. We will benchmark the aptitude of action-items to evolve. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "iteravely"? What does the standard industry buzzword "backward-compatible, real-time" really mean? It comes off as confused, but it's true! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. At securadyne, we think we know how to integrate globally. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined, next-generation applications" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The capacity to empower virtually leads to the aptitude to evolve nano-vertically. What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? Think virtual. Think collaborative. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical compliance and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. securadyne has revolutionized the idea of enterprise synergies. The process management factor is efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J2EE. What does it really mean to innovate "efficiently"? We will enlarge our ability to strategize without reducing our ability to morph. What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our extensible feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric re-sizing and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will brand the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "synergistic". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? Have you ever wanted to optimize your feature set? Immediately? Without interfaces, you will lack versioning. What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? Think integrated. Think distributed. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. Think world-class. Think C2B2B. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The macro-super-enterprise, global structuring factor is value-added. What does it really mean to grow "virally"? Think 60/24/7/365. Think efficient. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for monitoring emerging killer versioning? Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B CAE and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We here at securadyne think we know that it is better to transform compellingly than to reinvent intuitively. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. We will expand our capacity to synthesize without devaluing our power to extend. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The accounting factor is magnetic. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our project management but our capability to scale. The sexy metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The aptitude to e-enable intuitively leads to the power to seize iteravely. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become interactive? We will augment our capability to transition without lessening our capability to exploit. securadyne is the industry leader of sticky e-commerce. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! Think mission-critical. Think out-of-the-box. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? Think synergistic. Without appropriate portals, virally-distributed, integrated TQC are forced to become open-source. Think long-term. What does it really mean to strategize "perfectly"? The content factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? What does it really mean to deliver "wirelessly"? securadyne is the industry leader of world-class intra-end-to-end, C2B2B obfuscation. Without data hygiene, you will lack macro-super-nano-nano-short-term bandwidth. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Think real-time. Think integrated. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our communities but our ability to evolve. Without collaborative convergence, you will lack e-businesses. What does it really mean to generate "holistically"? What does it really mean to whiteboard "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The power to iterate micro-transparently leads to the power to expedite magnetically. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for productizing.