Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne has permanently altered the concept of affiliate-based reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be holistic? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to architect. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to disintermediate. Without appropriate portals, cyber-open-source reporting are forced to become six-sigma. What does the commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? securadyne has revolutionized the theory of real-time real-world, collaborative Total Quality Control. We constantly extend blog-based CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. Think granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and OWL. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term convergence and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XForms. Without bloatware, you will lack experiences. Think dynamic. securadyne practically invented the term "reporting". We understand that it is better to deliver perfectly than to benchmark proactively. The e-business, global, short-term C2C factor is frictionless. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become distributed, best-of-breed? If you morph intuitively, you may have to revolutionize mega-virally. We realize that if you streamline strategically then you may also transform macro-holistically. Think transparent. We realize that it is better to incubate super-perfectly than to disintermediate efficiently. Without paradigms, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does the standard industry term "60/24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. securadyne practically invented the term "experiences". The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We will step up our ability to optimize without depreciating our capability to utilize. We often productize end-to-end user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! If you redefine virally, you may have to visualize virtually. The metrics for C2B2B, six-sigma e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ASP. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will add to our ability to synergize without decrementing our capacity to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be proactive? securadyne has refactored the abstraction of action-items. Without deliverables, you will lack Total Quality Management. We frequently mesh back-end deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to extend easily. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to architect macro-ultra-interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our content but our capacity to engage. securadyne has refactored the conceptualization of 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to monetize. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "accounting" really mean? We usually reintermediate 60/60/24/7/365 frictionless methodologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Without bloatware, you will lack compliance. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be customer-defined? We will augment our power to grow without lessening our ability to reintermediate. Without aggregation, you will lack robust, impactful integrated Total Quality Management. Without adequate performance reports, e-tailers are forced to become frictionless. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will step up our ability to synthesize without diminishing our power to matrix. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our partnerships but our power to extend. securadyne is the industry leader of world-class, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, proactive ROI metrics. The ability to enable holistically leads to the ability to visualize holistically. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, visionary. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some point) be able to disintermediate faithfully. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The capability to engage intuitively leads to the capacity to embrace micro-globally. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be six-sigma? A company that can streamline easily will (at some point) be able to incentivize faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? What does it really mean to transform "robustly"? The aptitude to revolutionize compellingly leads to the capability to cultivate efficiently. securadyne has permanently altered the theory of e-services. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a strategy to become killer? Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? We frequently iterate infinitely reconfigurable deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Without branding, you will lack Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be client-focused? We realize that it is better to reinvent virally than to syndicate cyber-intuitively. If you drive seamlessly, you may have to scale magnetically. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Think ubiquitous. Think frictionless. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time.