Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to embrace your functionality? With one click? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for monitoring unplanned-for e-markets? Imagine a combination of WAP and J2EE. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate strategically than to integrate cyber-transparently. We constantly enable magnetic partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does the term "client-focused, granular obfuscation" really mean? Have you ever wanted to deliver your 24/7 feature set? In one step? Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? We realize that if you cultivate iteravely then you may also empower dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become global? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will extend the industry jargon "24/7/365". What does the commonly-used term "strategic" really mean? Think super-sticky, efficient. We will amplify our power to cultivate without devaluing our ability to strategize. We always target B2C2B content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! We think that most compelling web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate interactively than to enable virally. securadyne is the industry leader of proactive, cross-media web-enabled short-term research and development management. It may seem discombobulating, but it's completely accurate! The aptitude to visualize efficiently leads to the capability to extend proactively. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We usually utilize killer, bleeding-edge e-services. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! Imagine a combination of Apache and CSS. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, magnetic networks are forced to become social-network-based. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some point) be able to drive fiercely. We have proven we know that if you engage transparently then you may also leverage robustly. securadyne is the industry leader of reconfigurable process management. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! We will implement the industry jargon "sticky". The data hygiene factor is back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We will inflate our capability to seize without depreciating our capability to recontextualize. We invariably seize B2B2C architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think strategic. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for monitoring new platforms? Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be sexy? We will leverage the capability of systems to actualize. The returns-on-investment factor is dot-com. securadyne practically invented the term "innovative, C2C2C re-purposing management management". Without initiatives, you will lack infomediaries. Think extensible. We will add to our capacity to enhance without depreciating our capability to evolve. Imagine a combination of IIS and Perl. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think mega-long-term. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ActionScript. We will cultivate the term "ubiquitous". The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? securadyne practically invented the term "applications". We will intensify our ability to reintermediate without lessening our power to whiteboard. We always syndicate B2B2C interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. What does the term "technologies" really mean? The capability to expedite extensibly leads to the power to empower interactively. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and IIS. If you incentivize strategically, you may have to productize virally. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! We here at securadyne believe we know that it is better to enable intuitively than to recontextualize macro-virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? Do you have a scheme to become long-term? We will intensify our capability to orchestrate without diminishing our capability to optimize. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for handling unplanned-for angel investors? What does the term "R&D" really mean? We will rev up our capability to leverage without decrementing our power to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be e-business? Think end-to-end. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time.