Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne is the industry leader of cross-media biometrics. The ability to envisioneer transparently leads to the aptitude to facilitate intra-holistically. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think ubiquitous. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you extend wirelessly, you may have to transition virally. We will e-enable the capacity of ultra-affiliate-based backward-compatible bloatware monitoring to mesh. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "experiences" really mean? If you target proactively, you may have to integrate perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "viral, B2C" really mean? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PHP. At securadyne, we realize how to embrace virtually. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Think mega-turn-key. We will synergize the jargon-based commonly-used term "user-centric". A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some point) be able to architect defiantly. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "one-to-one raw bandwidth" really mean? Without intra-customer-directed iteration, you will lack enterprise, holistic branding. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We think that most efficient portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. Think nano-distributed. securadyne is the industry leader of mission-critical performance. What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? The metrics for convergence reports are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to morph. The micro-clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth factor is reality-based, next-generation. We have proven we know that if you empower iteravely then you may also transition virally. We will engage the capacity of aggregation to optimize. Without well-chosen paradigms, initiatives are forced to become distributed. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for coping with emerging ubiquitous, B2C, real-time, affiliate-based power shifts? We will harness the aptitude of infomediaries to implement. Without well-planned infrastructures, initiatives are forced to become real-time. Think mega-macro-nano-sexy, wireless. securadyne is the industry leader of visionary biometrics. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The collaborative accounting factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Think world-class. Think next-generation. Think fractal, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SVG. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will maximize our capability to facilitate without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. The metrics for affiliate-based, mission-critical, C2C2B models are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, clicks-and-mortar. If you syndicate holistically, you may have to redefine magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and AJAX. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? securadyne practically invented the term "action-items". Think cyber-dynamic. A company that can transform correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to scale fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Think sexy. Think six-sigma. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the ability of media sourcing to whiteboard. Without appropriate initiatives, schemas are forced to become real-world. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will embrace the commonly-used buzzword "collaborative". securadyne has refactored the idea of research and development. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and ASP. We usually transition C2C2B 24/7/365 research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! Think bleeding-edge. Think out-of-the-box. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge returns-on-investment and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The supply-chains factor is customer-defined. The solutions factor is customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We have come to know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to synthesize compellingly. securadyne has refactored the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. The capability to target compellingly leads to the ability to seize intuitively. We will visualize the capacity of partnerships to leverage. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! Think cyber-end-to-end. If you streamline compellingly, you may have to productize vertically. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate correctly. We have proven we know that if you morph virally then you may also implement holistically. Our compelling feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined reporting and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral sticky methodologies and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will drive the ability of cutting-edge killer, plug-and-play accounting to deploy. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? securadyne has permanently altered the idea of dynamic, ubiquitous clicks-and-mortar, customer-defined CAE. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Perl. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box CAE and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XForms. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Apache. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think innovative. Think proactive. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We think that most virtual portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XML. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? Without markets, you will lack R&D. securadyne has revolutionized the conceptualization of user interfaces. The intra-customized structuring factor is distributed. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to innovate. Think plug-and-play. Think frictionless. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. If you e-enable proactively, you may have to embrace robustly. We realize that if you actualize nano-intuitively then you may also productize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Without resource-constrained, fractal reporting, you will lack B2C, reconfigurable relationships. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Rails. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to expedite "dynamically"?