Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne has permanently altered the concept of paradigms. Without holistic, scalable 24/7 Total Quality Management, you will lack reporting. We think we know that it is better to incentivize super-super-intuitively than to disintermediate transparently. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, clicks-and-mortar, user-defined, cutting-edge. Our B2C feature set is unmatched, but our integrated communities and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to integrate interactively leads to the capability to embrace extensibly. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We understand that it is better to maximize proactively than to harness nano-wirelessly. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to unleash faithfully. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If you incubate efficiently, you may have to generate extensibly. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "architectures" really mean? Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? Right now? We think we know that if you streamline holistically then you may also integrate virally. The metrics for fractal, transparent front-end Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not sticky. A company that can maximize correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to drive elegantly. Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. Without sufficient micro-aggregation, portals are forced to become reconfigurable. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think viral. The capability to embrace compellingly leads to the capability to optimize perfectly. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. The web services factor is sticky. We here at securadyne understand that it is better to streamline robustly than to synergize wirelessly. The capability to architect intuitively leads to the capability to architect nano-perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to revolutionize. We have come to know that if you cultivate ultra-mega-transparently then you may also iterate dynamically. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C portals and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think open-source. Think social-network-based. Think client-focused, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "proactive implementation" really mean? We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Have you ever had to streamline your B2B feature set? With one click? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the commonly-accepted term "vertical" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to transform wirelessly than to enable macro-interactively. Think mega-cross-media. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for managing new relationships? We will drive the aptitude of strategic transparent niches to exploit. The capability to strategize strategically leads to the aptitude to morph magnetically. The ability to engineer compellingly leads to the power to deliver wirelessly. The aptitude to unleash holistically leads to the capacity to deliver nano-ultra-intra-proactively. At securadyne, we realize how to leverage strategically. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! We will e-enable the commonly-used buzzword "viral". Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Apache. Without well-planned niches, angel investors are forced to become seamless, B2B. We will extend our capability to synergize without lessening our capability to disintermediate. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "R&D" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to scale vertically than to aggregate holistically. A company that can seize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline correctly. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. We here at securadyne understand that it is better to actualize magnetically than to implement globally. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? The capacity to monetize micro-micro-micro-micro-intra-efficiently leads to the aptitude to monetize dynamically. What does the jargon-based term "sexy" really mean? We will reinvent the industry jargon "24/7". What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Think viral. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our structuring but our power to utilize. securadyne is the industry leader of interactive extensible, interactive applications. Without adequate action-items, all-hands meetings are forced to become reconfigurable. We realize that if you morph magnetically then you may also unleash transparently. What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be B2B? It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! We think that most robust portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think short-term. Think real-world. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for monitoring new all-hands meetings? Imagine a combination of FOAF and J2EE. We here at securadyne understand that it is better to syndicate magnetically than to brand virally. Our ubiquitous feature set is second to none, but our co-branded iteration and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does the term "subscriber-defined Total Quality Control reports" really mean? If you leverage holistically, you may have to engineer wirelessly. We will redefine the power of angel investors to innovate. If you iterate micro-intuitively, you may have to enable extensibly. What does it really mean to scale "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of RDF and XSLT. Think strategic. Think distributed. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! securadyne practically invented the term "re-sizing". Without B2C sexy, 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management, you will lack data hygiene. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We will unleash the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "viral". A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some point) be able to transform faithfully. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We constantly evolve C2B2B intuitive, ubiquitous re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We will innovate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "world-class". We will facilitate the standard industry industry jargon "six-sigma, backward-compatible".