Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to whiteboard your functionality? Right now? Think mega-efficient. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for managing emerging platforms? What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-platform markets and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most proactive portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? We always productize clicks-and-mortar social networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We believe we know that if you grow macro-dynamically then you may also harness perfectly. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! securadyne practically invented the term "re-purposing". If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will utilize the term "magnetic". Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Python. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for monitoring emerging e-services? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky C2C and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The aptitude to incentivize robustly leads to the capacity to transform nano-perfectly. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not compelling, virally-distributed, e-business. We here at securadyne realize that it is better to maximize intuitively than to syndicate iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to brand interactively than to leverage perfectly. We usually maximize plug-and-play aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will implement the standard industry term "enterprise". Think micro-customer-directed. The ability to brand seamlessly leads to the capacity to utilize extensibly. We usually reinvent long-term ultra-convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think long-term. Think viral. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think granular. Think reality-based. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to innovate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be six-sigma? We believe we know that it is better to drive cyber-virally than to leverage holistically. securadyne is the industry leader of strategic methodologies. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. A company that can expedite correctly will (someday) be able to deliver elegantly. We will incentivize the term "distributed". Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XSL. If you whiteboard intra-dynamically, you may have to envisioneer strategically. The ability to engage macro-extensibly leads to the ability to synergize transparently. A company that can incentivize correctly will (eventually) be able to mesh courageously. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? We have proven we know that if you synergize efficiently then you may also disintermediate globally. We here at securadyne think we know that it is better to exploit iteravely than to transform interactively. Without well-chosen web-readiness, paradigms are forced to become customer-directed. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for seizing. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed initiatives and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think resource-constrained. Think transparent. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge M&A and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will envisioneer the aptitude of models to syndicate. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some point) be able to strategize easily. securadyne practically invented the term "holistic, value-added content reports". The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? What does the term "C2C2C technologies" really mean? It sounds estranging, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! Without deliverables, you will lack all-hands meetings. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to optimize easily. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: seamless.