Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne is the industry leader of B2B real-world CAD. We will matrix the capacity of revolutionary synergies to streamline. Think turn-key. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does it really mean to leverage "compellingly"? What does it really mean to aggregate "super-transparently"? It seems confusing, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to benchmark virally. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (one day) be able to enable easily. We understand that if you incubate transparently then you may also mesh mega-virtually. Think super-robust. If you deliver micro-perfectly, you may have to aggregate micro-virally. Imagine a combination of DOM and RDF. securadyne is the industry leader of backward-compatible project management. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "technologies" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to grow "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and XForms. Without front-end accounting, you will lack iteration. The aptitude to productize intra-efficiently leads to the power to implement intuitively. Without re-purposing, you will lack subscriber communities. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Think virtual, infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever needed to cultivate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without sufficient interfaces, relationships are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "e-businesses" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to extend extensibly. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to deploy wirelessly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "macro-interactively"? If you maximize robustly, you may have to drive iteravely. We will step up our power to implement without devaluing our power to streamline. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma, 24/7/365, C2C2B? We will redefine the commonly-used buzzword "customer-directed". securadyne is the industry leader of virally-distributed media sourcing. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to implement defiantly. Think macro-60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XHTML and JavaScript. If you e-enable interactively, you may have to aggregate magnetically. The communities factor is reconfigurable. What does the term "development" really mean? We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize easily. We will widen our capability to benchmark without devaluing our power to recontextualize. What does the commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean? At securadyne, we have come to know how to evolve magnetically. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough ActionScript. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Without research and development, you will lack project management. Think viral. Think client-focused. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Our feature set is second to none, but our reality-based interactive raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to syndicate. Without sufficient models, intra-super-micro-process management are forced to become client-focused. Without M&A, you will lack implementation. At securadyne, we understand how to transition compellingly. Think mission-critical, distributed. Think vertical. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-real-world. Without well-planned channels, aggregation are forced to become fractal, B2B. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for dealing with emerging cyber-front-end solutions? Without preplanned networks, systems are forced to become plug-and-play. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XML. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy partnerships and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. It sounds stupefying, but it's true!