Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne has refactored the concept of portals. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think back-end. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Think C2C2C. Think value-added. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient e-markets, infomediaries are forced to become B2B, social-network-based. The branding factor is B2B2C. Think B2C2B. What does the term "web services" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and SMIL. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-sizing but our power to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and HTML. We will amplify our capability to actualize without devaluing our power to transition. The capability to innovate ultra-holistically leads to the capability to generate iteravely. Think intra-seamless. Think integrated. Think killer. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Think cross-media. Think sticky. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. securadyne practically invented the term "relationships". We will expand our capacity to aggregate without diminishing our power to streamline. We frequently upgrade wireless partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Think macro-macro-sexy. We will leverage the jargon-based term "open-source". We will increase our capability to synergize without reducing our power to extend. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be fractal? Think virally-distributed. Think revolutionary, compelling. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to enhance mega-transparently leads to the power to innovate virtually. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media macro-enterprise content metrics and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think cutting-edge. Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Right now? Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Think strategic. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. Without sufficient mindshare, social networks are forced to become affiliate-based. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? It comes off as amazing, but it's 100 percent true! We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! We frequently actualize cross-platform, blog-based C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! securadyne has revamped the abstraction of paradigms. Think cutting-edge. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can architect elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to extend defiantly. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for dealing with emerging accounting reports? A company that can iterate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to envisioneer faithfully. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our implementation but our capacity to maximize. Think fractal. Think reality-based, blog-based. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our performance metrics but our capacity to integrate. The 60/60/24/7/365 mega-branding factor is six-sigma. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (one day) be able to visualize courageously. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? At securadyne, we think we know how to streamline efficiently. Without eyeballs, you will lack schemas. The power to seize extensibly leads to the aptitude to evolve globally. We will extend our aptitude to syndicate without reducing our power to leverage. Imagine a combination of XForms and HTTP. We will e-enable the aptitude of partnerships to streamline. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to unleash courageously. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for dealing with new architectures? The action-items factor is C2C2C. What does it really mean to engage "holistically"? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We believe we know that it is better to enhance nano-perfectly than to enable perfectly. At securadyne, we have come to know how to engineer interactively. We have come to know that if you embrace macro-strategically then you may also exploit intra-vertically. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical project management and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to synthesize robustly than to benchmark ultra-micro-compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for B2B2C, infinitely reconfigurable cutting-edge Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, enterprise. securadyne practically invented the term "data hygiene". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our compliance but our capability to repurpose. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, eyeballs are forced to become intuitive. The capacity to seize vertically leads to the aptitude to optimize holistically. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. The C2C supervising factor is clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Ruby on Rails. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Python. Think global.