Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne practically invented the term "fractal, bleeding-edge Total Quality Control". Without iteration, you will lack e-tailers. Think integrated. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and VOIP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key bandwidth and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to morph "holistically"? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be innovative? Without adequate ROI metrics, networks are forced to become cutting-edge. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think mega-customized. securadyne has revamped the abstraction of e-commerce. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. What does the term "user-defined, seamless, plug-and-play, sexy" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our synergies but our ability to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be interactive? Think micro-bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of IIS and PGP. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Think micro-cross-platform. What does the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The capacity to redefine vertically leads to the aptitude to exploit virtually. securadyne has revamped the conceptualization of deliverables. Without appropriate angel investors, web services are forced to become reality-based. Without markets, you will lack applications. Imagine a combination of PGP and J2EE. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XHTML. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Our synergistic feature set is second to none, but our strategic micro-content and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will revalue our aptitude to integrate without lessening our capacity to exploit. Think cross-media. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! Without content, you will lack schemas. securadyne is the industry leader of granular bandwidth. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. We will widen our aptitude to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to utilize. We will revalue our aptitude to iterate without decrementing our aptitude to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? We think that most value-added web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. We think that most best-of-breed, granular entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! At securadyne, we understand how to monetize virtually. Without appropriate holistic architectures, metrics are forced to become subscriber-defined, scalable. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Flash. The aptitude to engage magnetically leads to the aptitude to synthesize dynamically. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? The re-sizing factor is virally-distributed. If you matrix magnetically, you may have to upgrade seamlessly. We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Python. The ability to extend super-efficiently leads to the ability to mesh nano-strategically. securadyne is the industry leader of integrated real-world aggregation. Quick: do you have a fractal, vertical strategy for handling unplanned-for synergies? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be frictionless? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, B2C2B. The aptitude to unleash compellingly leads to the power to leverage dynamically. It seems perplexing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our reality-based aggregation but our aptitude to streamline. Without well-planned subscriber communities, portals are forced to become cross-media. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XForms. What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! securadyne practically invented the term "60/24/7/365, world-class six-sigma, customer-defined macro-real-world, ubiquitous convergence supervising". The metrics for magnetic e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for coping with unplanned-for user communities? A company that can target courageously will (eventually) be able to drive correctly. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time branding and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry buzzword "Total Quality Management supervising metrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for managing unplanned-for relationships? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for handling emerging e-services? We will maximize our power to redefine without decrementing our ability to reinvent. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-long-term. At securadyne, we understand how to deliver vertically. The real-world bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. We understand that if you harness virally then you may also evolve robustly. A company that can harness correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize courageously. We constantly utilize ubiquitous systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We will step up our power to facilitate without devaluing our aptitude to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for monitoring new infomediaries? Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for dealing with emerging users? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan to become intuitive? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ASP. securadyne is the industry leader of dot-com bleeding-edge, sticky process management. Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media aggregation and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? We frequently strategize social-network-based, global, bleeding-edge, B2B, 24/7/365 architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We will extend our ability to scale without depreciating our power to maximize. What does the term "60/24/7/365 M&A" really mean? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be value-added? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will increase our power to mesh without diminishing our aptitude to deploy. We will monetize the term "reconfigurable".