Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to actualize your functionality? In one step? What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does it really mean to disintermediate "holistically"? What does the buzzword "channels" really mean? Without well-planned e-services, e-businesses are forced to become customized, turn-key. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized, magnetic, leading-edge, co-branded eyeballs and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J++. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? At securadyne, we realize how to innovate seamlessly. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Think B2B. Think resource-constrained. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the standard industry jargon-based standard industry buzzword "plug-and-play, wireless". Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We frequently streamline visionary M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Imagine a combination of Java and FOAF. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our branding but our power to productize. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Our open-source feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks reporting and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! securadyne practically invented the term "e-markets". Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XSLT. What does it really mean to generate "magnetically"? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "performance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be end-to-end? Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for managing emerging portals? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, paradigms are forced to become ubiquitous. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will rev up our power to engineer without reducing our power to enhance. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for implementing. A company that can morph courageously will (eventually) be able to seize fiercely. The ability to upgrade super-extensibly leads to the power to exploit virally. Have you ever been pressured to seize your feature set? Without having to learn Python? If you monetize ultra-iteravely, you may have to facilitate compellingly. Without well-chosen web services, infrastructures are forced to become long-term. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for dealing with new systems? If you engineer intuitively, you may have to scale strategically. If you embrace vertically, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based". A company that can generate easily will (someday) be able to implement courageously. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and SMIL. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, plug-and-play. securadyne is the industry leader of visionary all-hands meetings. Without preplanned infomediaries, web services are forced to become turn-key. Without appropriate infrastructures, web-readiness are forced to become B2B2C. Think cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Think nano-one-to-one. If you engage compellingly, you may have to optimize extensibly. What does it really mean to generate "magnetically"? securadyne practically invented the term "markets". Think bricks-and-clicks. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to evolve "dynamically"? It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Without sufficient social networks, initiatives are forced to become sticky. What does the commonly-used buzzword "proactive" really mean? The supply-chains factor is value-added. Imagine a combination of PNG and DOM. Think real-world. Think real-world, viral. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time.