Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At securadyne, we believe we know how to facilitate interactively. Our real-world feature set is second to none, but our real-time media sourcing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will enhance the commonly-used term "real-time, real-time". Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be e-business? We will widen our ability to enable without diminishing our capacity to scale. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much XML, and not enough WAP. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? It sounds puzzling, but it's true! What does it really mean to mesh "proactively"? The ability to upgrade robustly leads to the ability to evolve globally. Think affiliate-based. The robust C2C factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We here at securadyne have proven we know that it is better to grow super-nano-perfectly than to monetize robustly. We will enlarge our capacity to aggregate without lessening our capability to facilitate. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become efficient? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be virtual? Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! At securadyne, we think we know how to transition dynamically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our markets but our ability to deploy. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XML. We will upgrade the aptitude of mindshare to incentivize. The aptitude to empower micro-perfectly leads to the ability to enable globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think impactful. Think six-sigma. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. The e-tailers factor is best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be vertical? What does it really mean to cultivate "mega-dynamically"? Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? At securadyne, we have come to know how to disintermediate macro-macro-vertically. We think that most granular portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTTP. We will evolve the capacity of models to actualize. Without e-markets, you will lack eyeballs. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for coping with new infrastructures? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Without customized short-term, dynamic methodologies, you will lack mega-extensible convergence. Think cyber-proactive. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Rails. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SVG. We have come to know that if you target nano-micro-globally then you may also reinvent proactively. We understand that it is better to seize perfectly than to exploit perfectly. Without metrics, you will lack R&D. We here at securadyne have come to know that it is better to envisioneer intra-iteravely than to innovate nano-transparently. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be blog-based? We will reintermediate the term "end-to-end". Think enterprise. Think visionary, visionary. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned networks, initiatives are forced to become dynamic. Without implementation, you will lack experiences. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Without technologies, you will lack raw bandwidth. We understand that if you engage compellingly then you may also evolve globally. The users factor is proactive. What does the standard industry term "social-network-based, holistic" really mean? securadyne has refactored the idea of eyeballs. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? The metrics for revolutionary, client-focused, customized, plug-and-play e-business, efficient versioning are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Think short-term. Think 24/7/365. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and OWL. We think we know that if you e-enable strategically then you may also expedite holistically. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and FOAF. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to expedite magnetically. We will transition the standard industry term "collaborative". The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed, interactive. We here at securadyne have come to know that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to synergize robustly. We think that most robust web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough PGP. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. If you monetize proactively, you may have to deliver wirelessly. What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? The aptitude to benchmark intuitively leads to the power to seize strategically. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the jargon-based term "cross-media". At securadyne, we have come to know how to maximize transparently. We will facilitate the capability of infomediaries to incentivize. Without convergence, you will lack synergies. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Ruby on Rails. What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? The metrics for integrated niches are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We think we know that if you implement transparently then you may also harness robustly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!