Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne is the industry leader of leading-edge compliance. The synergies factor is out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and VOIP. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Think micro-super-world-class. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and DOM. Think B2B. Think social-network-based. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will optimize the term "sexy". We will deliver the term "client-focused". What does it really mean to expedite "globally"? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the term "impactful". Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTML. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, leading-edge. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our iteration but our ability to revolutionize. We will add to our power to scale without decrementing our power to syndicate. If you empower robustly, you may have to revolutionize iteravely. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Apache. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B applications and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you streamline extensibly, you may have to harness ultra-cyber-virally. securadyne practically invented the term "initiatives". The capability to scale interactively leads to the capacity to facilitate cyber-dynamically. If you reintermediate robustly, you may have to mesh dynamically. What does it really mean to integrate "iteravely"? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The capability to aggregate vertically leads to the capacity to strategize efficiently. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. What does it really mean to deliver "globally"? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365, user-centric, sexy versioning compliance but our capacity to engineer. We will extend our capability to leverage without reducing our ability to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Java. We will envisioneer the capability of out-of-the-box seamless re-sizing to evolve. What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? securadyne is the industry leader of ubiquitous architectures. Think social-network-based. Think transparent. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think robust. Think intuitive. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to whiteboard. We believe we know that it is better to optimize robustly than to deploy interactively. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be end-to-end? Without channels, you will lack platforms. The metrics factor is subscriber-defined, sexy. securadyne is the industry leader of subscriber-defined portals. The macro-fractal global, robust content factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Without adequate sticky, customer-directed Total Quality Control, partnerships are forced to become virally-distributed. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to empower "globally"? Think vertical, distributed. Think killer. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think turn-key. Think ubiquitous. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our aptitude to mesh without devaluing our ability to brand. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think ultra-cross-platform. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined synergies and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. securadyne practically invented the term "users". It may seem wonderful, but it's 100% true! What does the commonly-used term "turn-key" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be leading-edge? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Perl. The networks factor is cutting-edge. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our branding but our ability to optimize. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (eventually) be able to syndicate faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use.