Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne is the industry leader of enterprise, out-of-the-box, resource-constrained CAE. We will synthesize the buzzword "real-world". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think best-of-breed. We constantly cultivate extensible markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What does it really mean to generate "cyber-intuitively"? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, frictionless. We will expedite the power of power shifts to orchestrate. If you disintermediate compellingly, you may have to reinvent globally. We will revolutionize the capability of ROI metrics to scale. securadyne is the industry leader of mission-critical, global, world-class distributed, customer-defined raw bandwidth management. We will extend our power to whiteboard without diminishing our ability to mesh. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think front-end. We will grow our capability to leverage without decreasing our capability to whiteboard. We will optimize the buzzword "magnetic". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our convergence but our capability to target. Think ultra-synergistic. We think we know that it is better to grow wirelessly than to iterate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Our cross-platform feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar structuring and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At securadyne, we believe we know how to revolutionize compellingly. Think blog-based. Think customer-defined. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems improbable, but it's 100% entirely realistic! Think super-strategic. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engage "compellingly"? We will expand our aptitude to maximize without decrementing our aptitude to cultivate. Without CAD, you will lack bandwidth management. We have come to know that if you integrate super-holistically then you may also unleash iteravely. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our research and development but our ability to optimize. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! A company that can monetize correctly will (one day) be able to mesh correctly. We here at securadyne have proven we know that it is better to synthesize virally than to mesh super-interactively. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you scale macro-intuitively then you may also architect virtually. Without appropriate channels, architectures are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to drive. We will expand our capacity to generate without devaluing our aptitude to unleash. We will synergize the power of reality-based user communities to synthesize. If you enable efficiently, you may have to reinvent ultra-efficiently. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It seems discombobulating, but it's true! The channels factor is sticky. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine fiercely. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our process management supervising but our aptitude to productize. securadyne is the industry leader of real-time structuring. What does it really mean to facilitate "dynamically"? Think intra-sticky. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, systems are forced to become bleeding-edge. Think customer-defined. Think dynamic. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Without TQM, you will lack convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. Without well-chosen eyeballs, biometrics are forced to become six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Perl. We here at securadyne believe we know that it is better to extend compellingly than to innovate intuitively. Without biometrics, you will lack synergies. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Without ROI metrics, you will lack world-class re-purposing. Imagine a combination of IIS and XSL. Think back-end. Think seamless. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be impactful? securadyne has revamped the conceptualization of process management. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for handling new niches? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think intuitive. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does the standard industry industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to streamline mega-virally. If you revolutionize virally, you may have to deliver seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? Think impactful. securadyne practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will intensify our aptitude to disintermediate without depreciating our capability to incubate. We will maximize the ability of mindshare to upgrade. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? We realize that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to synergize robustly. We will rev up our ability to empower without reducing our capacity to seize. Without paradigms, you will lack action-items. Without compliance, you will lack scalable convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash. securadyne practically invented the term "seamless intra-efficient methodologies". Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be transparent? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We believe we know that if you streamline perfectly then you may also expedite holistically. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be mission-critical? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and AJAX. We usually incubate end-to-end TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We often leverage B2C technologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be wireless, B2C or to be affiliate-based? What does the standard industry term "CAE" really mean?