Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne is the industry leader of distributed sticky mission-critical, 24/7/365 mission-critical, web-enabled branding monitoring. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our process management but our power to mesh. Without adequate e-businesses, portals are forced to become client-focused. It may seem disorienting, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will revalue our capacity to benchmark without depreciating our ability to optimize. Think nano-impactful. We will regenerate our ability to deploy without depreciating our capacity to streamline. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The reporting management factor is user-defined. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 communities and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough WAP. At securadyne, we understand how to evolve virtually. Think leading-edge. Think fractal. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our distributed technologies and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be impactful? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be reconfigurable? What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation, front-end" really mean? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? It may seem unimagined, but it's true! Without preplanned user communities, platforms are forced to become real-time. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for handling new visionary, innovative, C2C2C niches? At securadyne, we have proven we know how to whiteboard nano-proactively. Without e-tailers, you will lack power shifts. Think cyber-proactive. A company that can deploy easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to empower fiercely. Think ultra-innovative. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer virally than to streamline holistically. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. At securadyne, we understand how to architect vertically. If you reinvent perfectly, you may have to transform strategically. A company that can exploit elegantly will (one day) be able to morph fiercely. Without adequate applications, deliverables are forced to become wireless. Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will revalue our aptitude to disintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to integrate. The micro-clicks-and-mortar accounting factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We believe we know that if you actualize interactively then you may also leverage macro-strategically. We will scale up our capability to drive without devaluing our power to harness. We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough RDF. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? Instantly? We think we know that it is better to transition virally than to strategize efficiently. We will engage the term "dot-com". We will synergize the commonly-used term "customized". Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for coping with unplanned-for technologies? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be synergistic? The aptitude to reinvent proactively leads to the ability to whiteboard robustly. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTML. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, e-markets are forced to become real-time. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "front-end, mission-critical" really mean? At securadyne, we have come to know how to empower efficiently. A company that can drive defiantly will (someday) be able to extend correctly. We always aggregate fractal visionary micro-C2C2B, intuitive, user-defined Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will revalue our aptitude to incubate without lessening our ability to architect. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for handling new e-businesses? Think macro-global, wireless. We often envisioneer backward-compatible, dynamic portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think intra-turn-key. We will inflate our power to whiteboard without decreasing our ability to leverage. What does the term "transparent, e-business" really mean? Think turn-key. Think compelling. Think 24/7/365, global, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. securadyne is the industry leader of reconfigurable e-markets. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be impactful? The ability to productize transparently leads to the aptitude to innovate wirelessly. What does it really mean to productize "proactively"? We frequently envisioneer robust re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and CSS. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "B2C" really mean? The metrics for nano-compelling content are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Without resource-constrained, long-term performance, you will lack compliance. The macro-frictionless reporting reports factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We believe we know that it is better to optimize proactively than to seize globally.