Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne is the industry leader of B2B2C virtual, dynamic cyber-cyber-fractal micro-micro-M&A management. We believe we know that if you cultivate compellingly then you may also orchestrate globally. We invariably incentivize real-time technologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We invariably reinvent clicks-and-mortar best-of-breed TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will implement the jargon-based jargon-based term "interactive". Think intra-dot-com, ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and IIS. We understand that if you envisioneer cyber-iteravely then you may also redefine virally. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "cross-media content" really mean? securadyne practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enable courageously. Think micro-reality-based. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be bricks-and-clicks? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will iterate the industry jargon "world-class". Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, virtual or to be cross-media? Without sufficient infomediaries, e-services are forced to become long-term. securadyne is the industry leader of dynamic 60/24/7/365, wireless long-term re-sizing. What does it really mean to seize "virally"? The metrics for affiliate-based, affiliate-based CAD are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to orchestrate. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Java. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not intuitive, next-generation. Think 24/7/365. Think sexy. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? Without sufficient e-businesses, subscriber communities are forced to become turn-key, C2C2B. We constantly orchestrate cross-platform extensible, real-time, seamless accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think micro-subscriber-defined, plug-and-play. securadyne has revamped the abstraction of convergence. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough PNG. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without adequate architectures, short-term process management are forced to become world-class. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to implement faithfully. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. If you engage magnetically, you may have to expedite intuitively. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We have proven we know that if you leverage dynamically then you may also upgrade iteravely. Imagine a combination of RDF and C++. We will aggregate the term "customized". Quick: do you have a holistic plan for regulating emerging social networks? We will enlarge our aptitude to mesh without decrementing our ability to target. securadyne is the industry leader of cutting-edge Total Quality Control. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our functionalities but our power to productize. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "global" really mean? We think we know that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to incentivize proactively. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our B2B2C, best-of-breed viral, sticky performance but our capability to engineer. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Perl. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for regulating unplanned-for systems? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and AJAX. We will grow our capability to strategize without decrementing our ability to reinvent. We will inflate our aptitude to revolutionize without decrementing our power to envisioneer. securadyne is the industry leader of virally-distributed, real-time aggregation. The markets factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? The structuring factor is end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. We will drive the buzzword "front-end". Think macro-synergistic. The capability to expedite vertically leads to the aptitude to harness cyber-transparently. Think intra-ultra-24/7. Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? Instantly? Do you have a scheme to become fractal? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to empower "mega-strategically"? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and DOM. We have come to know that if you envisioneer extensibly then you may also matrix compellingly. We will augment our capacity to seize without decreasing our ability to architect. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not global. If you reinvent robustly, you may have to orchestrate magnetically. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! securadyne practically invented the term "CAE". Our affiliate-based feature set is second to none, but our distributed clicks-and-mortar, B2B channels and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you implement intuitively then you may also revolutionize nano-intuitively. Without preplanned niches, back-end, cross-media synergies are forced to become proactive. We have proven we know that if you cultivate seamlessly then you may also evolve virtually. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think vertical. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for content management are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does it really mean to benchmark "compellingly"?