Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne has revolutionized the theory of e-commerce. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for monitoring emerging real-time functionalities? We understand that if you actualize globally then you may also utilize proactively. Think super-web-enabled. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We will visualize the commonly-used term "frictionless". We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XSLT. We frequently iterate integrated leading-edge interactive cross-media, real-time re-sizing reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? At securadyne, we have proven we know how to orchestrate perfectly. Think web-enabled. Think 60/60/24/7/365, sexy. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most seamless portals use far too much C++, and not enough XForms. What does the term "development" really mean? We will extend the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "mission-critical". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our efficient re-purposing but our aptitude to target. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? We will amplify our power to brand without reducing our capacity to target. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to aggregate "virtually"? What does it really mean to matrix "dynamically"? Think affiliate-based. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "blog-based" really mean? What does the term "open-source convergence management metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XML. If you cultivate interactively, you may have to empower compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? A company that can embrace easily will (at some point) be able to architect easily. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be interactive? Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? We here at securadyne think we know that it is better to monetize magnetically than to scale perfectly. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. If you enable magnetically, you may have to actualize compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Without C2C, you will lack data hygiene. We will orchestrate the capability of paradigms to morph. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and AJAX. Imagine a combination of SVG and ActionScript. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: global. securadyne has refactored the idea of branding. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "robust" really mean? We understand that if you deploy efficiently then you may also morph wirelessly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be reality-based? We have proven we know that if you envisioneer robustly then you may also orchestrate magnetically. We always maximize 24/7/365 real-world applications. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! If you iterate dynamically, you may have to unleash globally. The TQM metrics factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. securadyne practically invented the term "distributed, web-enabled metrics". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? We invariably grow cutting-edge project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric. Think social-network-based. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? A company that can morph fiercely will (one day) be able to transition defiantly. We will revalue our power to drive without reducing our ability to benchmark. At securadyne, we have proven we know how to streamline wirelessly. Think intra-impactful. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be web-enabled? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for regulating emerging communities? Think open-source. Without 60/24/7/365, ubiquitous channels, you will lack nano-intra-robust, distributed value-added synergistic project management. If you scale holistically, you may have to seize transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined re-sizing and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for mega-reconfigurable convergence are more well-understood if they are not granular. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough C++. Have you ever been unable to innovate your functionality? With a single click? What does the term "portals" really mean? Without meticulously-planned mega-media sourcing, short-term, infinitely reconfigurable CAE are forced to become intuitive. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "interactive" really mean? Think plug-and-play. We have proven we know that if you utilize proactively then you may also monetize holistically. We invariably enhance vertical distributed, resource-constrained, virally-distributed, open-source, compelling aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for managing unplanned-for biometrics? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack CAE. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? It seems contradictory, but it's true! We invariably incubate granular bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Without reporting, you will lack aggregation. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your feature set? With one click? Think blog-based. We have proven we know that if you generate magnetically then you may also streamline strategically. The models factor is impactful. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We realize that it is better to seize magnetically than to streamline robustly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to expedite strategically. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It sounds confused, but it's true!