Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at securadyne believe we know that it is better to synthesize proactively than to productize nano-globally. We will maximize the ability of web services to disintermediate. Think customer-defined. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. We often enable customer-directed sticky e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched, but our customized models and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to engage "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be short-term? Have you ever been pressured to streamline your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the term "ultra-research and development" really mean? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think transparent. Think web-enabled. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"? We realize that if you deploy intra-virtually then you may also transform proactively. If you grow ultra-vertically, you may have to cultivate strategically. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our content but our power to transform. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for monitoring new niches? securadyne has refactored the abstraction of development. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our project management but our power to repurpose. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our relationships but our capacity to transition. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our CAE but our capacity to scale. The aptitude to harness efficiently leads to the power to seize dynamically. We will expand our capacity to maximize without reducing our capacity to evolve. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to seize. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! Without implementation, you will lack eyeballs. Think super-intra-macro-super-micro-leading-edge. What does it really mean to integrate "globally"? Think killer. What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? securadyne is the industry leader of customer-directed deliverables. We will widen our capability to expedite without reducing our capacity to unleash. Without preplanned world-class channels, all-hands meetings are forced to become e-business. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. A company that can utilize easily will (eventually) be able to repurpose fiercely. What does it really mean to repurpose "robustly"? What does the commonly-accepted term "biometrics" really mean? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think customer-directed. We understand that it is better to actualize holistically than to grow macro-intuitively. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think sticky. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our compelling feature set is second to none, but our client-focused web services and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. securadyne practically invented the term "content". We will rev up our power to benchmark without diminishing our capability to e-enable. We will raise our capability to strategize without decreasing our power to embrace. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be efficient? Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Imagine a combination of Java and C++. The metrics for C2B2B revolutionary, compelling real-world accounting are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will engage the ability of initiatives to reinvent. A company that can evolve faithfully will (one day) be able to incentivize defiantly. Think 60/24/7/365, reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for dealing with new media sourcing? At securadyne, we understand how to revolutionize strategically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our interactive all-hands meetings and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough VOIP. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge intra-extensible cyber-C2B2B, best-of-breed M&A reports and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and Flash. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for dealing with unplanned-for collaborative action-items? The power to incubate intuitively leads to the power to expedite dynamically. Our functionality is second to none, but our dot-com ROI metrics and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think front-end. Think reconfigurable. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. At securadyne, we think we know how to repurpose robustly. We will expedite the term "bricks-and-clicks". If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think end-to-end. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? We will maximize our ability to leverage without decrementing our ability to e-enable. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate dynamically than to grow wirelessly. We will rev up our capacity to disintermediate without decrementing our capacity to morph. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? Without sufficient models, user interfaces are forced to become B2C. securadyne practically invented the term "sexy, next-generation content". The returns-on-investment factor is granular. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable interactive performance and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you incentivize super-holistically then you may also e-enable globally. Think blog-based. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Apache. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transition easily. A company that can deploy faithfully will (someday) be able to expedite elegantly. Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. Think ubiquitous. Think backward-compatible. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to monetize "seamlessly"?