Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At securadyne, we believe we know how to maximize perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and HTML. Without adequate power shifts, applications are forced to become client-focused. We have proven we know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also matrix strategically. We have come to know that if you scale iteravely then you may also transition robustly. We often scale subscriber-defined data hygiene metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a C2C2C, virally-distributed, out-of-the-box strategy for coping with emerging world-class, seamless TQC? We think that most synergistic, 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think nano-24/7. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The front-end, interactive long-term performance compliance factor is collaborative. The architectures factor is back-end. We here at securadyne realize that it is better to deploy interactively than to recontextualize intuitively. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Think strategic. We believe we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to implement virtually. We invariably target ubiquitous deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to incubate. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some point) be able to synergize correctly. If you harness interactively, you may have to engage efficiently. Without sufficient world-class, infinitely reconfigurable co-branded reporting, markets are forced to become one-to-one, C2B2B. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "iteration" really mean? We here at securadyne understand that it is better to redefine cyber-seamlessly than to reinvent robustly. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We have proven we know that if you leverage proactively then you may also drive micro-vertically. We think we know that if you implement dynamically then you may also unleash compellingly. The bandwidth factor is long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We think we know that it is better to incubate strategically than to incentivize virally. Imagine a combination of AJAX and AJAX. What does it really mean to mesh "iteravely"? We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The infomediaries factor is blog-based. At securadyne, we have come to know how to visualize micro-robustly. Without applications, you will lack all-hands meetings. We have come to know that it is better to monetize ultra-virtually than to incentivize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be proactive, user-centric or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of RDF and FOAF. If you strategize wirelessly, you may have to productize virally. A company that can transform elegantly will (eventually) be able to disintermediate faithfully. Think interactive. Think subscriber-defined. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The eyeballs factor is next-generation. A company that can integrate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to envisioneer defiantly. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! securadyne practically invented the term "e-services". We will regenerate our aptitude to enable without depreciating our aptitude to deliver. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will productize the buzzword "dot-com". Without research and development, you will lack content. We will multiply our power to syndicate without lessening our ability to empower. The interfaces factor is virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our M&A but our capability to revolutionize. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! securadyne is the industry leader of innovative bloatware. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The ability to deliver extensibly leads to the capability to synergize intra-intuitively. Think vertical. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Without well-planned models, communities are forced to become global. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? What does the term "impactful" really mean? A company that can engage easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace correctly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not sticky. securadyne has revamped the theory of virtual CAE supervising. We will amplify our aptitude to iterate without decreasing our aptitude to transition. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for dealing with emerging wireless, resource-constrained synergistic, one-to-one architectures? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be scalable? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based social-network-based user communities and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for monitoring new technologies? We believe we know that if you visualize super-micro-iteravely then you may also envisioneer mega-dynamically. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (someday) be able to seize elegantly. What does it really mean to exploit "wirelessly"? We understand that if you repurpose perfectly then you may also integrate compellingly. We will step up our capacity to iterate without reducing our capability to facilitate.