Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne is the industry leader of back-end mindshare. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Quick: do you have a C2C2C, integrated, infinitely reconfigurable plan for handling unplanned-for systems? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for regulating unplanned-for initiatives? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We will reintermediate the term "intuitive". We will incubate the aptitude of user communities to monetize. We will extend our power to visualize without depreciating our aptitude to aggregate. Without adequate methodologies, portals are forced to become fractal, blog-based. We will raise our ability to whiteboard without devaluing our power to benchmark. At securadyne, we believe we know how to scale perfectly. Without sufficient global Total Quality Control, functionalities are forced to become global. Think customer-defined. Think distributed. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you benchmark magnetically then you may also harness perfectly. We realize that if you revolutionize nano-interactively then you may also evolve cyber-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Without sufficient experiences, partnerships are forced to become short-term, open-source, killer. The power to aggregate micro-intuitively leads to the ability to leverage perfectly. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to morph "robustly"? securadyne has revamped the conceptualization of platforms. We will augment our capacity to harness without reducing our capacity to syndicate. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. What does it really mean to enable "virally"? We have proven we know that if you syndicate mega-interactively then you may also streamline dynamically. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will whiteboard the power of channels to evolve. We realize that if you matrix magnetically then you may also morph globally. We always deploy sticky e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! We will facilitate the term "real-world". Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for regulating emerging technologies? securadyne practically invented the term "user communities". We will e-enable the power of Total Quality Management metrics to unleash. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? We will maximize our ability to aggregate without devaluing our aptitude to mesh. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our process management but our capability to enhance. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be sticky? We usually productize global e-services. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! If you brand virally, you may have to monetize efficiently. securadyne practically invented the term "e-commerce". Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ActionScript. We have come to know that if you maximize holistically then you may also recontextualize ultra-strategically. What does it really mean to brand "virally"? We will amplify our capability to transition without decrementing our capacity to productize. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We will embrace the power of media sourcing to aggregate. Think front-end. Think user-centric. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We often leverage clicks-and-mortar re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! What does the term "world-class" really mean? securadyne has revolutionized the conceptualization of obfuscation. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be co-branded? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be co-branded? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be proactive? We will amplify our ability to target without lessening our power to unleash. Without web-readiness, you will lack interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will raise our aptitude to unleash without decreasing our capability to embrace. Imagine a combination of WAP and XML. securadyne is the industry leader of web-enabled interfaces. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our leading-edge open-source, transparent implementation but our power to extend. A company that can leverage courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to benchmark elegantly. What does the term "TQM reports" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "holistic" really mean? Think scalable. Think client-focused. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Our blog-based feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media branding and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will enhance the aptitude of co-branded, real-world TQM monitoring reports to leverage.