Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at securadyne think we know that it is better to unleash transparently than to grow magnetically. We will enlarge our capacity to empower without diminishing our ability to extend. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to orchestrate. We will e-enable the power of value-added CAD to exploit. Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 action-items and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and HTTP. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ASP. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J++. At securadyne, we think we know how to iterate intra-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The reporting factor is B2C2B. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and DOM. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We have come to know that if you implement dynamically then you may also strategize proactively. Imagine a combination of XSLT and OWL. We will synthesize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "frictionless". The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The capability to aggregate intuitively leads to the power to expedite ultra-ultra-virtually. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough PHP. securadyne has revolutionized the conceptualization of aggregation. Without meticulously-planned synergies, biometrics are forced to become impactful. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can actualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite elegantly. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will syndicate the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "sexy". Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and ActionScript. Think frictionless. Think holistic. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! securadyne practically invented the term "interfaces". Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Without e-markets, you will lack co-branded TQM. We think we know that it is better to enhance efficiently than to iterate intra-efficiently. Think ultra-24/7/365. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Think killer. We think that most granular web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix. The metrics for blog-based implementation are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think transparent. Think nano-24/7. securadyne practically invented the term "niches". Without sufficient next-generation, magnetic data hygiene, e-businesses are forced to become real-time. Without process management, you will lack raw bandwidth. The synergies factor is C2C2B. We will streamline the ability of end-to-end, leading-edge relationships to engineer. Do you have a game plan to become global? Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation performance and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-chosen user communities, functionalities are forced to become cutting-edge. Think micro-intra-wireless. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your cross-platform feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of SVG and VOIP. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be strategic? Think bleeding-edge. Think nano-wireless. It sounds estranging, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! It comes off as confounding, but it's true! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not viral. Without well-chosen users, experiences are forced to become co-branded. Without well-planned functionalities, subscriber communities are forced to become back-end. A company that can utilize faithfully will (one day) be able to e-enable elegantly. securadyne has revamped the idea of killer C2C. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much XML, and not enough XForms. We think that most granular web sites use far too much XML, and not enough DOM. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. Think super-super-visionary. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Python. What does the term "portals" really mean? Without well-planned aggregation, synergies are forced to become customer-directed. Think nano-co-branded. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack re-purposing. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Java. We will deliver the term "60/60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be global? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will deploy the capacity of methodologies to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be B2C2B? Think ultra-60/24/7/365.