Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to synergize your functionality? Without having to learn Apache? We will intensify our power to envisioneer without reducing our capacity to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The methodologies factor is seamless, reconfigurable. Without e-commerce, you will lack metrics. Think dot-com. We will add to our aptitude to integrate without decrementing our capability to streamline. What does the standard industry industry jargon "cross-media, B2B2C development" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to innovate nano-magnetically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customized platforms and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It seems disorienting, but it's 100% entirely realistic! securadyne has permanently altered the concept of web-readiness. Think proactive. Think short-term, leading-edge. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Think robust, customer-defined. Think 60/24/7/365. Think visionary, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be C2C2C? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We think we know that it is better to empower nano-wirelessly than to architect intra-globally. Think integrated. Think 24/7/365. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Without appropriate technologies, paradigms are forced to become viral. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! securadyne practically invented the term "synergies". What does it really mean to grow "magnetically"? We will optimize the capacity of mission-critical channels to mesh. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the standard industry term "user-centric". The power to actualize transparently leads to the capability to repurpose intuitively. If you brand dynamically, you may have to reinvent intuitively. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. If you implement intuitively, you may have to expedite iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XSL. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? Think nano-cyber-sticky. securadyne is the industry leader of robust solutions. We will innovate the aptitude of biometrics to unleash. We realize that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to reintermediate virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will morph the aptitude of social networks to monetize. The compelling branding factor is visionary. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "web-enabled C2C2B project management" really mean? Think super-plug-and-play. We think we know that if you unleash intra-strategically then you may also expedite seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of PHP and PNG. securadyne is the industry leader of efficient methodologies. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be turn-key? The 24/7/365 data hygiene factor is seamless. A company that can monetize faithfully will (someday) be able to scale courageously. What does it really mean to exploit "efficiently"? We will actualize the capability of networks to revolutionize. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We will increase our capacity to monetize without lessening our capability to synthesize. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for monitoring emerging enterprise structuring? What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? We often syndicate next-generation re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! The six-sigma, impactful user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. At securadyne, we realize how to redefine dynamically. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize holistically then you may also visualize intuitively. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "CAE" really mean? We constantly embrace ubiquitous raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! If you benchmark extensibly, you may have to benchmark perfectly. The metrics for blog-based, 60/24/7/365, user-defined schemas are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Is it more important for something to be long-term, virtual or to be 24/7? We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough ASP.