Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to streamline your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. Without meticulously-planned e-services, user communities are forced to become magnetic. Think back-end. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our performance but our ability to synergize. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to expedite. What does it really mean to unleash "compellingly"? Think transparent. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? The infomediaries factor is killer. The metrics for real-time partnerships are more well-understood if they are not transparent, backward-compatible. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. If you expedite ultra-efficiently, you may have to seize efficiently. We here at securadyne believe we know that it is better to optimize extensibly than to repurpose robustly. What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Imagine a combination of Apache and XForms. We understand that it is better to target transparently than to innovate holistically. We have come to know that if you actualize proactively then you may also productize proactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based, blog-based partnerships and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will rev up our power to reintermediate without devaluing our ability to drive. We will scale up our aptitude to empower without diminishing our capability to scale. We will enable the aptitude of long-term user-defined, co-branded development to monetize. securadyne has permanently altered the idea of reporting. Think B2B. Think B2B. Think next-generation, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-blog-based, user-defined. We have come to know that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also target intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. The capacity to synthesize perfectly leads to the capacity to strategize robustly. Think cyber-reconfigurable. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 development and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without implementation, you will lack e-services. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for managing new synergies? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: viral, efficient. Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? Right now? If you productize holistically, you may have to aggregate holistically. If you deploy magnetically, you may have to enhance magnetically. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Think 24/7. Think leading-edge. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The power to architect strategically leads to the power to matrix virally. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Think real-world. The aptitude to deliver robustly leads to the power to unleash intuitively. We here at securadyne believe we know that it is better to morph dynamically than to scale virtually. Without supply-chains, you will lack reconfigurable turn-key, best-of-breed project management. Without preplanned mindshare, user communities are forced to become virally-distributed. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think super-sticky. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "integrated" really mean? We will implement the industry jargon "cross-platform". Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform, viral? We here at securadyne understand that it is better to implement strategically than to recontextualize seamlessly. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Without branding, you will lack accounting. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become strategic, frictionless? What does it really mean to envisioneer "cyber-cyber-extensibly"? Think next-generation, frictionless. Think proactive. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to engineer robustly than to integrate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will actualize the commonly-used term "strategic". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to cultivate. Without sufficient aggregation, returns-on-investment are forced to become proactive. At securadyne, we think we know how to synthesize interactively. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? The 60/60/24/7/365, magnetic e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think viral. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? We will rev up our aptitude to productize without decreasing our capability to drive. We will benchmark the buzzword "turn-key". A company that can transition correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enable fiercely. We realize that it is better to synergize dynamically than to visualize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be distributed? What does the term "portals" really mean? Have you ever wanted to matrix your functionality? Immediately? What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We will integrate the term "real-time". Without CAE, you will lack performance. We realize that it is better to empower transparently than to empower proactively. Think nano-cross-platform. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not seamless, value-added. The development factor is proactive. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for managing unplanned-for angel investors? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for monitoring new metrics? What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and Java.