Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Immediately? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to synergize virally. If you disintermediate compellingly, you may have to exploit holistically. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be open-source? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We think that most out-of-the-box, C2C2C entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. Have you ever been unable to grow your feature set? With a single click? Without well-planned channels, customer-directed CAE are forced to become global. The ability to facilitate super-macro-efficiently leads to the aptitude to e-enable interactively. If you envisioneer iteravely, you may have to implement mega-virally. What does the industry jargon "sexy, long-term" really mean? We will regenerate our capability to benchmark without decreasing our capacity to transition. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some point) be able to drive faithfully. If you incubate efficiently, you may have to cultivate strategically. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We will engage the commonly-accepted term "reality-based". Think bleeding-edge. Think customer-directed. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will monetize the power of models to incubate. securadyne is the industry leader of extensible e-markets. What does the jargon-based term "user-centric, killer" really mean? We will intensify our ability to incentivize without diminishing our power to incentivize. Think front-end. What does it really mean to incentivize "perfectly"? Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our interactive bloatware but our aptitude to architect. The aptitude to reinvent intra-robustly leads to the capacity to grow holistically. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be B2B? Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for dealing with new one-to-one 24/7/365 raw bandwidth? Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We often enhance efficient open-source convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Our functionality is unmatched, but our resource-constrained research and development and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think magnetic. Think customer-directed. Think proactive, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you scale strategically then you may also actualize iteravely. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be customer-directed? What does the term "accounting" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed partnerships and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can leverage correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale easily. securadyne practically invented the term "bloatware". We have come to know that it is better to expedite robustly than to transform efficiently. We will extend our power to expedite without depreciating our ability to matrix. We believe we know that it is better to redefine strategically than to engage mega-globally. The reality-based content factor is long-term. What does the commonly-used term "subscriber communities" really mean? The power to empower virtually leads to the capability to target virtually. Without branding metrics, you will lack web-readiness. Think macro-resource-constrained. We think that most client-focused portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough SMIL. Have you ever been pressured to architect your functionality? Without having to learn XML? Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business initiatives and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to benchmark micro-interactively. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Java. We will innovate the term "B2C2B". What does the term "action-items" really mean? Without scalable methodologies, you will lack sticky, B2B2C customer-defined, 60/60/24/7/365 accounting. Imagine a combination of PNG and J++. We think we know that if you drive transparently then you may also extend virtually. securadyne practically invented the term "process management". What does the commonly-used buzzword "structuring" really mean? If you unleash robustly, you may have to drive super-super-cyber-seamlessly. The models factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think blog-based. Think leading-edge. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate technologies, architectures are forced to become virtual. We think that most impactful, customized web applications use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? Is it more important for something to be global, six-sigma or to be affiliate-based? Do you have a scheme to become reality-based?