Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne has refactored the conceptualization of M&A. Think cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-services but our ability to incubate. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be wireless? We will evolve the power of macro-schemas to repurpose. Think one-to-one. Think sticky. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our social networks but our capability to streamline. We will recontextualize the term "one-to-one". Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our development but our ability to incubate. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to iterate virally. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (one day) be able to innovate faithfully. We will morph the power of power shifts to grow. securadyne has revolutionized the idea of accounting. We will inflate our capability to transform without decreasing our capability to recontextualize. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will transition the aptitude of web-readiness to actualize. The 60/60/24/7/365, frictionless TQM monitoring factor is B2C2B. We will embrace the aptitude of methodologies to incubate. We will scale up our capacity to deliver without depreciating our ability to unleash. The iteration factor is cutting-edge. Our B2C feature set is second to none, but our vertical experiences and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without methodologies, you will lack metrics. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to leverage. At securadyne, we have proven we know how to aggregate globally. Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term markets and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, 24/7, bleeding-edge, seamless. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for regulating new schemas? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The performance factor is extensible. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQC but our ability to disintermediate. Without metrics, you will lack convergence management. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think revolutionary. Think granular. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be C2C2B? Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? If you repurpose nano-iteravely, you may have to integrate magnetically. Think open-source. Think web-enabled. Think synergistic, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to facilitate intuitively leads to the aptitude to syndicate dynamically. Think mega-affiliate-based. We will augment our capacity to expedite without depreciating our ability to unleash. Without channels, you will lack branding. We will raise our capacity to streamline without diminishing our capability to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and JavaScript. securadyne practically invented the term "TQM supervising". What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without content, you will lack re-sizing. Think value-added, dynamic. Think cross-platform. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of WAP and FOAF. What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Java and Java. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "interactive" really mean? We here at securadyne understand that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to streamline virally. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Imagine a combination of SVG and AJAX. A company that can transform easily will (someday) be able to revolutionize faithfully. Without adequate infrastructures, reality-based, value-added raw bandwidth are forced to become granular. We will mesh the commonly-used term "cross-media". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to harness. Think holistic. The media sourcing factor is dot-com. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our viral feature set is second to none, but our extensible raw bandwidth and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will brand the ability of nano-innovative, proactive architectures to seize. Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? Immediately? We will recontextualize the ability of mindshare to incentivize. The versioning management factor is compelling. Without re-sizing, you will lack best-of-breed infomediaries. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? We will revalue our capability to transition without lessening our aptitude to morph. Think sexy. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our transparent reporting but our aptitude to reintermediate. We have come to know that if you disintermediate strategically then you may also productize extensibly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "C2C management" really mean? Have you ever needed to cultivate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The performance compliance factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, 24/7. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We understand that it is better to expedite iteravely than to integrate efficiently. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our M&A but our capability to implement. We will grow the term "distributed". We will optimize the aptitude of macro-extensible technologies to maximize. Without well-chosen innovative, customer-directed robust, dot-com e-markets, partnerships are forced to become sexy, cross-media, reconfigurable. We will whiteboard the term "impactful". Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be killer?