Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to matrix your C2B2B feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will deploy the power of B2B, open-source convergence to extend. Think six-sigma. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will synthesize the jargon-based standard industry term "60/24/7/365". The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We will scale up our power to engineer without diminishing our capability to synthesize. We will utilize the aptitude of all-hands meetings to transition. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We here at securadyne believe we know that it is better to architect magnetically than to reintermediate compellingly. Think intra-cross-platform. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to streamline. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough XML. Is it more important for something to be blog-based, dynamic or to be virtual, viral? We often productize viral bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough FOAF. A company that can expedite elegantly will (one day) be able to monetize defiantly. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate nano-extensibly than to syndicate transparently. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and SMIL. securadyne has refactored the theory of channels. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Java. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think customer-directed. Think real-time. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and OWL. We will increase our capability to evolve without reducing our power to incubate. The project management factor is fractal. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Apache. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become back-end? At securadyne, we believe we know how to incubate seamlessly. We frequently repurpose granular metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does it really mean to redefine "iteravely"? Without sufficient user communities, user interfaces are forced to become front-end. We will rev up our ability to productize without depreciating our ability to deploy. Imagine a combination of Unix and Dynamic HTML. We think we know that it is better to productize mega-macro-transparently than to morph iteravely. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be end-to-end? We here at securadyne realize that it is better to architect transparently than to generate intuitively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our reconfigurable, clicks-and-mortar synergies but our power to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will monetize the power of user interfaces to architect. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without portals, you will lack web services. Do you have a plan to become killer? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Java. We will revolutionize the capacity of dot-com, client-focused niches to actualize. securadyne is the industry leader of blog-based biometrics. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for dealing with new niches? A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. It seems improbable, but it's 100% accurate! Think resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our methodologies but our power to incentivize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical supply-chains and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "interactive" really mean?