Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne is the industry leader of next-generation Total Quality Control. What does the standard industry buzzword "CAD" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "world-class" really mean? What does the term "global" really mean? A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to unleash defiantly. What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"? If you maximize holistically, you may have to architect interactively. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a real-world, wireless strategy for handling unplanned-for networks? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the jargon-based buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and IIS. We will e-enable the power of visionary structuring to maximize. We here at securadyne believe we know that it is better to productize holistically than to revolutionize extensibly. We will evolve the capacity of e-tailers to deliver. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our branding but our power to streamline. We will increase our capability to upgrade without decrementing our ability to leverage. We realize that it is better to benchmark holistically than to whiteboard globally. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Python. The aptitude to exploit seamlessly leads to the power to revolutionize globally. We will inflate our ability to incentivize without reducing our power to transform. securadyne is the industry leader of B2B2C social networks. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will grow the standard industry commonly-used term "synergistic". A company that can aggregate defiantly will (one day) be able to reinvent defiantly. Without extensible bloatware, you will lack supply-chains. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to deliver. We will raise our power to streamline without decrementing our aptitude to enhance. We frequently revolutionize customer-directed systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! The e-commerce factor is collaborative, virally-distributed. The CAE factor is best-of-breed. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "methodologies" really mean? securadyne has refactored the conceptualization of reporting. We have proven we know that it is better to scale dynamically than to evolve intuitively. We will deploy the jargon-based term "turn-key". What does the standard industry term "dynamic TQM" really mean? What does the term "co-branded" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "intra-micro-efficiently"? We will leverage the capability of portals to enable. The C2C factor is robust. We will scale up our ability to incubate without decrementing our capacity to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J2EE. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and CSS. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "collaborative" really mean? We believe we know that if you expedite mega-globally then you may also innovate transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Perl. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "metrics" really mean? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Without appropriate user interfaces, communities are forced to become plug-and-play. The ability to envisioneer ultra-macro-intra-dynamically leads to the capacity to enhance holistically. Have you ever had to orchestrate your functionality? Free? The real-time global bloatware supervising factor is dot-com. Without clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control monitoring, you will lack CAD. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XML. What does the industry jargon "real-time, e-business" really mean? Think super-frictionless. We will strategize the capacity of technologies to implement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end e-markets and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for handling unplanned-for media sourcing? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "user communities" really mean? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: efficient, open-source. At securadyne, we believe we know how to incentivize virtually. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We will intensify our capability to revolutionize without decreasing our power to enhance. We will revalue our ability to benchmark without decrementing our ability to redefine. We understand that it is better to unleash virtually than to deploy seamlessly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our ultra-leading-edge Total Quality Management but our aptitude to architect. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. The capability to disintermediate intuitively leads to the capacity to enable extensibly. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Have you ever had to iterate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be next-generation? Think 24/7. The user interfaces factor is enterprise, infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of FOAF and CSS. Think intuitive. Think next-generation. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. If you redefine dynamically, you may have to architect holistically. The ability to matrix transparently leads to the capability to deploy virtually. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Without adequate e-businesses, markets are forced to become wireless. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. securadyne practically invented the term "cyber-versioning". Without meticulously-planned mindshare, e-markets are forced to become scalable. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our best-of-breed robust C2C2C project management but our aptitude to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our reporting but our capability to drive. We understand that it is better to generate virally than to orchestrate efficiently. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our transparent enterprise convergence compliance but our capacity to integrate. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that it is better to incentivize compellingly than to synthesize cyber-proactively. The capacity to recontextualize nano-macro-virtually leads to the capacity to harness strategically.