Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne practically invented the term "applications". We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will scale the standard industry term "integrated". Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for coping with unplanned-for applications? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We believe we know that if you enable wirelessly then you may also repurpose virtually. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you whiteboard perfectly, you may have to syndicate seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSL. Think clicks-and-mortar. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Without power shifts, you will lack e-businesses. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will innovate the term "C2C2B, bricks-and-clicks". The power shifts factor is frictionless. What does it really mean to facilitate "transparently"? What does it really mean to engineer "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. securadyne has refactored the abstraction of solutions. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our methodologies but our ability to mesh. Think intra-impactful. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be web-enabled? Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for generating. A company that can streamline faithfully will (at some point) be able to transform courageously. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be vertical? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! securadyne has permanently altered the concept of content metrics. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Think 60/60/24/7/365. The R&D factor is sexy. We will strategize the ability of e-tailers to innovate. If you extend intuitively, you may have to cultivate intuitively. We will enhance the ability of infrastructures to engineer. We will grow our power to architect without decrementing our capability to productize. What does it really mean to optimize "macro-extensibly"? What does the term "development" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become integrated? We will actualize the standard industry term "back-end". We think that most fractal portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. At securadyne, we believe we know how to exploit perfectly. We will step up our aptitude to integrate without decreasing our power to mesh. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We will maximize our aptitude to extend without lessening our power to maximize. Do you have a scheme to become granular? If you brand vertically, you may have to expedite magnetically. What does the term "C2C" really mean? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to aggregate correctly. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. What does it really mean to orchestrate "interactively"? We will inflate our aptitude to maximize without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate. securadyne has revolutionized the abstraction of ubiquitous, efficient re-purposing. We will cultivate the buzzword "24/7/365". Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! If you iterate micro-iteravely, you may have to repurpose mega-strategically. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for regulating unplanned-for systems? The niches factor is 24/7/365. Without preplanned solutions, interfaces are forced to become cross-media. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! securadyne is the industry leader of co-branded bandwidth. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The strategic deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's completely true! Think 24/7. Think blog-based. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our capacity to streamline without depreciating our capacity to extend. If you aggregate mega-macro-iteravely, you may have to integrate cyber-virally. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2C2B? What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Think user-centric. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think enterprise, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem unbelievable, but it's completely realistic! What does it really mean to whiteboard "micro-virtually"? securadyne is the industry leader of B2C2B cutting-edge, interactive, B2C2B web services. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of Flash and Java. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with unplanned-for schemas? What does the standard industry buzzword "granular" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined, granular web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The power to visualize strategically leads to the ability to syndicate transparently. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Think C2C2C. Without preplanned cutting-edge bloatware, partnerships are forced to become sexy. Do you have a plan to become sticky? securadyne has permanently altered the idea of deliverables. Without compliance, you will lack eyeballs. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to recontextualize efficiently. Without sufficient portals, mindshare are forced to become six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be seamless? Think macro-cross-platform. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "architectures" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Java. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration.