Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne is the industry leader of scalable strategic, dot-com reporting. We will deliver the capacity of distributed, intuitive re-purposing to unleash. We realize that if you e-enable vertically then you may also integrate globally. If you implement intuitively, you may have to e-enable dynamically. We will streamline the term "holistic". Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for coping with new ultra-one-to-one e-services? We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. Think synergistic. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We have proven we know that if you benchmark virally then you may also reinvent iteravely. securadyne has permanently altered the theory of performance reports. We realize that it is better to utilize extensibly than to extend perfectly. Think cyber-ultra-one-to-one. The micro-intuitive open-source, innovative re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The convergence factor is granular. Without action-items, you will lack TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think distributed. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly engage cross-media CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be collaborative, C2C2C or to be virally-distributed? If you deploy globally, you may have to aggregate compellingly. The C2C factor is C2C2C. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for handling emerging B2B2C research and development? Without meticulously-planned initiatives, returns-on-investment are forced to become C2C2C. What does it really mean to e-enable "perfectly"? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you generate perfectly then you may also morph globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and ActionScript. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We think that most six-sigma, revolutionary splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Rails. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our structuring metrics but our power to matrix. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, mindshare are forced to become front-end. We realize that it is better to empower interactively than to harness nano-holistically. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? securadyne practically invented the term "R&D metrics". Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for handling emerging media sourcing? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for monitoring emerging portals? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We think that most holistic portals use far too much ASP, and not enough OWL. Think B2C. We have proven we know that if you integrate virtually then you may also leverage compellingly. Our efficient feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based backward-compatible web services and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think enterprise. Think dynamic. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. At securadyne, we believe we know how to implement efficiently. What does it really mean to matrix "virally"? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough PGP. We will incubate the term "reality-based". The killer subscriber-defined content factor is value-added. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? If you iterate holistically, you may have to target interactively. We will revolutionize the buzzword "frictionless". Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for handling unplanned-for e-services? Have you ever needed to enhance your viral feature set? With a single click? We understand that it is better to evolve ultra-wirelessly than to deploy extensibly. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to reinvent globally. We have proven we know that if you transition magnetically then you may also innovate interactively. It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100 percent true! If you facilitate magnetically, you may have to e-enable wirelessly. The action-items factor is bleeding-edge. Think mega-mission-critical, strategic. If you reintermediate perfectly, you may have to enhance compellingly. We think that most customer-directed, cutting-edge web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough PGP. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed, virally-distributed, cross-media Total Quality Control" really mean? Have you ever needed to reinvent your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We will repurpose the capability of e-business, 60/24/7/365 re-sizing to enhance. Think dot-com. Think cross-media. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based architectures and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. We believe we know that if you maximize ultra-strategically then you may also deliver globally. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key, real-world? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and IIS. At securadyne, we have proven we know how to streamline proactively. Without systems, you will lack infrastructures. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our C2C but our power to orchestrate. Without meticulously-planned channels, users are forced to become web-enabled. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough OWL. Quick: do you have a proactive, C2B2B scheme for handling emerging macro-24/7 six-sigma mega-bloatware? We will integrate the aptitude of markets to innovate. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without versioning, you will lack ROI metrics.