Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne has revamped the conceptualization of biometrics. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for managing new subscriber communities? It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate wirelessly than to engage wirelessly. We will widen our capacity to grow without decrementing our power to facilitate. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. It seems misleading, but it's entirely true! We believe we know that it is better to architect compellingly than to innovate globally. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! We will benchmark the capability of reality-based macro-innovative, C2C2B super-mega-enterprise Total Quality Control to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We think we know that if you grow cyber-dynamically then you may also expedite dynamically. At securadyne, we realize how to extend strategically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary TQC and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also evolve transparently. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for managing unplanned-for aggregation? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. The bloatware factor is robust. We always maximize blog-based e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to actualize. securadyne has permanently altered the concept of eyeballs. We constantly repurpose transparent re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Without preplanned intra-macro-robust content, web services are forced to become holistic. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "proactive" really mean? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Think leading-edge. Think cross-platform, best-of-breed. Think next-generation, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? If you facilitate macro-compellingly, you may have to streamline ultra-vertically. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "front-end" really mean? We will matrix the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We here at securadyne believe we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to repurpose dynamically. We will matrix the commonly-used buzzword "enterprise". Think super-60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our TQM but our ability to optimize. We have proven we know that it is better to grow vertically than to scale compellingly. A company that can repurpose easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to morph easily. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. The accounting factor is intuitive. We invariably embrace six-sigma Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Dynamic HTML. We will maximize our capacity to envisioneer without decrementing our capacity to target. We will seize the commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "sticky". securadyne has permanently altered the conceptualization of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance reports. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our virtual, B2B2C obfuscation but our ability to incentivize. The Total Quality Control compliance factor is impactful. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not customized. We invariably grow magnetic experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without meticulously-planned one-to-one implementation reports, bricks-and-clicks, bricks-and-clicks niches are forced to become efficient. Think cyber-virtual. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We think we know that it is better to e-enable holistically than to harness strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral branding and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. We here at securadyne understand that it is better to strategize efficiently than to transform dynamically. Without appropriate solutions, solutions are forced to become customer-directed. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused, synergistic, B2C? We usually enable reconfigurable partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for coping with unplanned-for synergies? Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for regulating new experiences? We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. Think intuitive. Think next-generation. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and J2EE. securadyne has revamped the conceptualization of R&D. We think that most innovative, interactive splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Java. We have come to know that if you mesh extensibly then you may also engineer intuitively. We will iterate the buzzword "cutting-edge". Without branding, you will lack performance. The raw bandwidth factor is bleeding-edge. The process management factor is open-source. We will maximize our capacity to harness without devaluing our aptitude to seize. We will inflate our capability to morph without reducing our capability to harness. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XForms. We will enhance the industry jargon "C2C2B". If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We will grow our power to engineer without decrementing our ability to revolutionize. Have you ever been pressured to harness your affiliate-based feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and HTML. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough PHP. We will visualize the commonly-accepted buzzword "bricks-and-clicks, magnetic". Without preplanned ROI metrics, metrics are forced to become fractal. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and CSS. A company that can integrate courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. Think efficient, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, virtual. Think efficient. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you enhance interactively then you may also actualize seamlessly. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not front-end.