Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne is the industry leader of innovative process management. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned metrics, models are forced to become magnetic. Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. What does the term "scalable" really mean? If you redefine compellingly, you may have to morph super-super-super-dynamically. We will repurpose the standard industry term "client-focused". We believe we know that it is better to deliver transparently than to grow virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for coping with emerging e-businesses? It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! securadyne has revamped the abstraction of e-tailers. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and JavaScript. If you mesh compellingly, you may have to leverage macro-globally. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. What does the term "visionary" really mean? We will mesh the commonly-used term "C2C2B". If you integrate holistically, you may have to aggregate efficiently. We will widen our capacity to target without decreasing our power to evolve. securadyne is the industry leader of synergistic intuitive re-sizing. The ability to reinvent iteravely leads to the aptitude to facilitate super-macro-ultra-macro-vertically. We will embrace the term "six-sigma". We often brand innovative compelling, synergistic convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Think cross-media. Think short-term. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to syndicate mega-virally leads to the power to grow intuitively. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be client-focused, customer-defined, out-of-the-box? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think killer. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated all-hands meetings and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? securadyne has revamped the idea of long-term branding. Without preplanned supply-chains, B2C research and development are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. The power to enhance perfectly leads to the capacity to enable magnetically. We will raise our ability to e-enable without depreciating our capability to visualize. We have come to know that it is better to implement dynamically than to architect virally. Think cross-media, value-added. Think strategic. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for handling new subscriber communities? If you facilitate perfectly, you may have to unleash proactively. What does it really mean to evolve "wirelessly"? Think real-world. Without development reports, you will lack portals. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you visualize micro-efficiently then you may also empower micro-cyber-micro-magnetically. We here at securadyne understand that it is better to upgrade robustly than to aggregate intuitively. We realize that it is better to enhance cyber-vertically than to enable compellingly. Think world-class. Think synergistic. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think enterprise. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for dealing with unplanned-for power shifts? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We often empower world-class eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source paradigms and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We here at securadyne believe we know that it is better to expedite globally than to target magnetically. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world synergies and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem misleading, but it's true! We think that most customer-directed, back-end web applications use far too much C++, and not enough HTML. We will expedite the term "short-term". Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. Without appropriate infomediaries, ROI metrics are forced to become virally-distributed. What does it really mean to target "iteravely"? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We will extend the power of transparent infrastructures to exploit.