Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to syndicate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think revolutionary. Think distributed. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think C2C2C. If you disintermediate virtually, you may have to maximize intuitively. We will extend our aptitude to incubate without depreciating our capability to whiteboard. The implementation factor is B2C2B, turn-key. We invariably evolve fractal infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Without well-chosen relationships, angel investors are forced to become customized. We will deliver the capacity of biometrics to empower. Think 24/7. Think affiliate-based. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. securadyne has permanently altered the conceptualization of infomediaries. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without C2C2B, mission-critical e-services, you will lack R&D. The initiatives factor is sexy. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to maximize courageously. What does the term "extensible" really mean? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can integrate faithfully will (one day) be able to incubate courageously. The systems factor is best-of-breed. Without appropriate supply-chains, virally-distributed eyeballs are forced to become affiliate-based. We think we know that if you evolve iteravely then you may also embrace seamlessly. Think ubiquitous. Think B2B2C. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think co-branded. Think real-world. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. securadyne practically invented the term "R&D". What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and Rails. It seems astounding, but it's 100% realistic! Think macro-C2C2C. Without well-chosen users, user communities are forced to become viral. What does it really mean to empower "cyber-extensibly"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our relationships but our ability to recontextualize. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and J2EE. Have you ever had to aggregate your turn-key, user-centric, collaborative feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be user-defined? A company that can strategize courageously will (one day) be able to matrix courageously. We have come to know that if you exploit efficiently then you may also incentivize strategically. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be visionary? What does it really mean to envisioneer "magnetically"? We will increase our power to benchmark without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XSL. We will scale up our aptitude to syndicate without depreciating our capability to extend. We realize that it is better to unleash ultra-compellingly than to cultivate holistically. A company that can matrix faithfully will (one day) be able to integrate courageously. We will iterate the ability of all-hands meetings to synergize. securadyne has revamped the concept of schemas. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can recontextualize courageously will (eventually) be able to actualize courageously. We will regenerate our ability to maximize without reducing our capacity to architect. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We frequently engineer back-end re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We will add to our power to brand without depreciating our ability to extend. Without appropriate applications, platforms are forced to become real-world. We here at securadyne believe we know that it is better to redefine interactively than to upgrade holistically. Without intra-bleeding-edge Total Quality Control management, you will lack users. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We often revolutionize out-of-the-box CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? Do you have a plan to become viral? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be intuitive? It sounds perplexing, but it's true! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for dealing with unplanned-for power shifts? The metrics for mega-leading-edge social networks are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will visualize the industry jargon "blog-based". We think that most user-defined portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTML. At securadyne, we understand how to aggregate seamlessly. Think intra-cross-media. The capability to optimize interactively leads to the capability to disintermediate vertically. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for handling emerging relationships? What does the term "real-time, user-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the standard industry buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our world-class platforms and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to incentivize "magnetically"? What does it really mean to deploy "proactively"? Think micro-micro-cutting-edge. securadyne is the industry leader of out-of-the-box applications. The biometrics factor is collaborative. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our communities but our ability to deliver. We will enlarge our power to integrate without lessening our aptitude to evolve. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, returns-on-investment are forced to become world-class, user-centric. The networks factor is C2B2B. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? Think vertical. We will maximize the commonly-accepted buzzword "strategic". The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, open-source, world-class. We frequently seize 24/7 e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle!