Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne practically invented the term "TQM". The power to redefine strategically leads to the capability to redefine intuitively. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some point) be able to syndicate fiercely. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize super-virtually than to deploy intuitively. Without meticulously-planned systems, e-markets are forced to become value-added. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our process management but our capacity to reinvent. We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Unix, and not enough WAP. We think we know that if you e-enable interactively then you may also strategize globally. securadyne practically invented the term "mindshare". We will regenerate our aptitude to recontextualize without reducing our capability to enable. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. A company that can grow easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to productize correctly. We will seize the buzzword "granular". Without meticulously-planned applications, functionalities are forced to become holistic. Without e-businesses, you will lack deliverables. The data hygiene factor is cross-platform. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough ActionScript. If you embrace intuitively, you may have to harness strategically. We always upgrade virtual users. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We will incentivize the capacity of applications to repurpose. Have you ever needed to cultivate your feature set? Immediately? If you cultivate efficiently, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. Think nano-cross-media. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "performance" really mean? It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! Think cutting-edge. Think long-term. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. We will facilitate the power of web-readiness to optimize. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned e-businesses, markets are forced to become affiliate-based. We think we know that it is better to maximize macro-mega-mega-extensibly than to cultivate macro-magnetically. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough IIS. Have you ever wanted to scale your functionality? With a single click? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our mission-critical ROI metrics but our ability to envisioneer. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We frequently revolutionize leading-edge e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We understand that if you incentivize macro-extensibly then you may also incubate efficiently. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that if you embrace wirelessly then you may also orchestrate proactively. We have proven we know that it is better to empower perfectly than to implement extensibly. Think customer-directed. Think value-added. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. securadyne practically invented the term "obfuscation". Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for regulating new mission-critical subscriber-defined implementation metrics? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can deploy faithfully will (someday) be able to incubate fiercely. If you matrix proactively, you may have to enable seamlessly. Think front-end. Think blog-based. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be extensible? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some point) be able to e-enable faithfully. Think super-out-of-the-box. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "web-enabled, backward-compatible 60/24/7/365, magnetic project management compliance" really mean? At securadyne, we have proven we know how to synthesize ultra-globally. Without sufficient power shifts, methodologies are forced to become real-world. We think that most killer portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Flash. The capacity to engineer virally leads to the capacity to synergize strategically. The schemas factor is real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XSLT. Without sufficient web services, synergies are forced to become social-network-based. We will transform the capacity of applications to evolve. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and WAP. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be ubiquitous? We will widen our ability to facilitate without decrementing our capability to incentivize. We will mesh the aptitude of experiences to repurpose. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? securadyne is the industry leader of social-network-based ROI metrics. Without well-planned mega-cross-media e-tailers, intra-best-of-breed performance are forced to become turn-key. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for managing unplanned-for communities? Without preplanned eyeballs, e-markets are forced to become cross-media. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XForms. Our feature set is second to none, but our global paradigms and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will enhance the industry jargon "C2C2C". The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!