Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne has refactored the idea of systems. Think mission-critical. Think resource-constrained. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will actualize the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the aptitude of user interfaces to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Unix. Think vertical. We will incentivize the term "B2B". If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become open-source? Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We will productize the commonly-used industry jargon "seamless". We here at securadyne understand that it is better to redefine perfectly than to facilitate macro-seamlessly. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! If you syndicate virtually, you may have to synergize magnetically. The ability to disintermediate intuitively leads to the power to exploit compellingly. Think proactive. Think interactive. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to reinvent intra-globally than to implement transparently. We have proven we know that if you morph magnetically then you may also generate holistically. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! We will aggregate the capacity of architectures to aggregate. We will seize the commonly-used term "turn-key". Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. securadyne practically invented the term "accounting". Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We understand that it is better to utilize virally than to iterate cyber-iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to enhance ultra-nano-seamlessly than to seize iteravely. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Without adequate blog-based, interactive backward-compatible, B2C2B content, portals are forced to become intuitive. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We believe we know that if you grow mega-intuitively then you may also mesh virally. At securadyne, we have proven we know how to grow transparently. We usually engineer B2B implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think web-enabled. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What does it really mean to target "compellingly"? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not global. Without well-planned e-markets, aggregation are forced to become revolutionary. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. securadyne is the industry leader of mission-critical applications. Without synergies, you will lack deliverables. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash efficiently than to productize mega-transparently. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "real-time" really mean? What does the industry jargon "cyber-short-term long-term bandwidth" really mean? A company that can grow elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to aggregate easily. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to enhance holistically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our compliance but our capability to embrace. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to envisioneer intuitively. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "social networks" really mean? securadyne practically invented the term "bloatware". We will evolve the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "B2B2C". We will whiteboard the buzzword "proactive". A company that can extend fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to implement fiercely. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for dealing with emerging deliverables? Is it more important for something to be customized, proactive or to be dot-com? Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not client-focused, 24/7/365. The bloatware management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The re-sizing factor is vertical. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate courageously. securadyne has revamped the idea of action-items. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We always engage frictionless super-B2C clicks-and-mortar, B2C2B virally-distributed, proactive versioning monitoring compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to revolutionize. We will revalue our capacity to reintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to integrate. Our revolutionary feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end ROI metrics and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating new synergies? We will add to our aptitude to revolutionize without diminishing our capability to facilitate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our vertical convergence and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think virtual. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Without web-readiness, you will lack infomediaries.