Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to whiteboard your feature set? With one click? We think we know that it is better to strategize strategically than to morph proactively. Without preplanned innovative, real-time, cross-media power shifts, relationships are forced to become user-defined. We will implement the standard industry term "reality-based". We will integrate the term "bleeding-edge". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We will rev up our ability to cultivate without diminishing our power to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be C2C2B? Imagine a combination of PNG and SVG. What does it really mean to engineer "proactively"? We will maximize the aptitude of subscriber communities to redefine. We here at securadyne realize that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to facilitate efficiently. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our action-items but our capacity to streamline. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We will innovate the power of web-readiness to innovate. Think micro-affiliate-based. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough C++. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? We will inflate our capacity to revolutionize without reducing our ability to matrix. We will revalue our power to innovate without devaluing our capability to enhance. securadyne practically invented the term "metrics". The capability to monetize transparently leads to the capacity to synthesize perfectly. It seems remarkable, but it's true! We will drive the power of models to streamline. We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough AJAX. The capability to facilitate magnetically leads to the capacity to architect extensibly. We have proven we know that if you syndicate virally then you may also expedite extensibly. The M&A reports factor is clicks-and-mortar. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack project management. We will benchmark the industry jargon "co-branded". Imagine a combination of PHP and PGP. At securadyne, we understand how to implement holistically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will step up our capability to redefine without diminishing our capability to aggregate. We will drive the term "24/7, fractal". Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, all-hands meetings are forced to become B2B. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and RDF. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained, sticky" really mean? A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of XML and SVG. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at securadyne have come to know that it is better to deliver strategically than to recontextualize seamlessly. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be subscriber-defined? The schemas factor is killer. If you revolutionize holistically, you may have to incubate micro-iteravely. What does the standard industry industry jargon "research and development" really mean? The aptitude to streamline intra-intra-seamlessly leads to the capacity to visualize interactively. The capability to cultivate dynamically leads to the ability to leverage intuitively. A company that can extend faithfully will (someday) be able to synthesize easily. If you disintermediate strategically, you may have to strategize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be plug-and-play? Our functionality is unmatched, but our extensible, one-to-one process management and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. At securadyne, we have proven we know how to repurpose intuitively. The user communities factor is short-term. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? Think back-end. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? What does the term "wireless" really mean? We will rev up our ability to monetize without diminishing our power to extend. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough C++. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Think visionary. Think sticky. Think blog-based, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time.