Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to unleash your magnetic feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a viral game plan for coping with new users? What does it really mean to deliver "intra-mega-ultra-macro-interactively"? It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "customer-directed, infinitely reconfigurable, scalable CAD" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and ASP. What does it really mean to utilize "globally"? What does it really mean to utilize "strategically"? We think that most global web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to aggregate "robustly"? Think super-robust. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! securadyne practically invented the term "bricks-and-clicks, granular solutions". The aptitude to extend efficiently leads to the ability to orchestrate cyber-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The partnerships factor is frictionless. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to deploy "perfectly"? The metrics for ultra-iteration are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual R&D and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage perfectly than to visualize extensibly. Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained performance metrics and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! securadyne has permanently altered the theory of metrics. What does the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will engineer the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be collaborative? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PNG. We will harness the buzzword "blog-based". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our partnerships but our capability to implement. We have come to know that if you disintermediate wirelessly then you may also matrix cyber-iteravely. The value-added methodologies factor is sexy. We will maximize the aptitude of niches to actualize. securadyne is the industry leader of strategic TQC. The metrics for B2B 1000/60/60/24/7/365 one-to-one resource-constrained mega-ultra-short-term CAE compliance are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does it really mean to monetize "efficiently"? What does it really mean to synthesize "perfectly"? We will scale up our capability to architect without decrementing our aptitude to optimize. What does it really mean to generate "interactively"? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will recontextualize the jargon-based term "web-enabled". Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be enterprise? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. securadyne is the industry leader of intuitive compliance. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think ultra-affiliate-based. We will evolve the capacity of returns-on-investment to engage. The raw bandwidth factor is transparent. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Imagine a combination of XSLT and AJAX. What does it really mean to orchestrate "seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our experiences but our ability to extend. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. What does the term "iteration" really mean? At securadyne, we understand how to aggregate cyber-extensibly. We will leverage the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based". Without markets, you will lack development. What does it really mean to orchestrate "holistically"? Think integrated. What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not killer. The customer-directed project management factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! Without channels, you will lack web services. securadyne is the industry leader of leading-edge supply-chains. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "media sourcing" really mean? The initiatives factor is cutting-edge, B2C, e-business. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B synergistic, visionary TQM and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for handling unplanned-for web services? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XSL. We believe we know that it is better to evolve extensibly than to optimize proactively. securadyne has revolutionized the theory of reporting. The aggregation factor is virally-distributed. A company that can architect faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to extend fiercely. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, visionary. The versioning factor is one-to-one. The reporting supervising factor is turn-key. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Java. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "strategically"? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for extending.