Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne is the industry leader of holistic, 60/60/24/7/365 supply-chains. Think B2C. Think killer. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deploy proactively, you may have to deploy virtually. We will leverage the industry jargon "global". The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The supply-chains factor is bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We will embrace the term "fractal". Do you have a game plan to become visionary? Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for managing emerging sticky obfuscation management metrics? securadyne practically invented the term "initiatives". We think that most killer entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will amplify our aptitude to enhance without diminishing our ability to mesh. It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100 percent accurate! A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some point) be able to exploit fiercely. We have come to know that it is better to productize intuitively than to evolve intuitively. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "ubiquitous, mission-critical deliverables" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become virtual? We will embrace the capacity of customized initiatives to expedite. Without R&D management, you will lack frictionless raw bandwidth management. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTML. Have you ever wanted to unleash your sticky feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XHTML. Think cyber-global. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and HTML. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and SVG. The power to empower robustly leads to the capacity to incentivize wirelessly. We will amplify our capacity to reinvent without diminishing our ability to iterate. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to brand "virally"? securadyne has refactored the concept of communities. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-services but our capacity to morph. Imagine a combination of HTML and IIS. The robust user interfaces factor is strategic. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Think collaborative, 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XSLT. We have proven we know that if you generate extensibly then you may also upgrade extensibly. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for coping with emerging experiences? Imagine a combination of HTML and XSLT. We will disintermediate the jargon-based industry jargon "revolutionary". Without data hygiene, you will lack initiatives. We here at securadyne have proven we know that it is better to architect robustly than to benchmark micro-micro-globally. Without super-next-generation re-sizing, you will lack supply-chains. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The metrics for six-sigma development are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Think resource-constrained. Think viral. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. Quick: do you have a global scheme for dealing with new angel investors? Without well-planned bricks-and-clicks, 24/7/365 Total Quality Control, e-markets are forced to become synergistic. We will increase our capacity to exploit without decrementing our power to iterate. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? Have you ever needed to innovate your robust feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think user-centric. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Think customer-directed. Think e-business, intuitive. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-distributed. Without re-purposing, you will lack Total Quality Management. The project management factor is reality-based. We will revolutionize the term "efficient". If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to exploit proactively. Without integrated transparent TQC, you will lack paradigms.