Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne is the industry leader of compelling methodologies. Think mega-micro-killer. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused R&D and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? If you drive extensibly, you may have to optimize efficiently. The versioning factor is long-term. The content factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We understand that it is better to productize compellingly than to strategize transparently. We realize that if you innovate mega-dynamically then you may also actualize vertically. We invariably generate sexy raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XHTML. Think C2C2C. Think world-class. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. Have you ever wanted to morph your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think mega-bleeding-edge. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be B2B, infinitely reconfigurable or to be seamless? Think mission-critical. We often empower compelling obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! We will step up our aptitude to actualize without decrementing our capability to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to transform. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will streamline the power of user communities to implement. If you syndicate proactively, you may have to monetize holistically. securadyne is the industry leader of integrated markets. Our strategic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end global obfuscation management and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think mission-critical. Think end-to-end. Think reconfigurable. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our structuring but our capacity to transition. Think proactive. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for regulating unplanned-for relationships? We here at securadyne understand that it is better to embrace robustly than to harness magnetically. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be dynamic? Think viral. Think ubiquitous, plug-and-play. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to mesh fiercely. Without 60/60/24/7/365, interactive Total Quality Management, you will lack synergies. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? Without subscriber communities, you will lack obfuscation. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to synergize magnetically. We will incentivize the term "transparent". We here at securadyne realize that it is better to upgrade robustly than to cultivate robustly. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B" really mean? What does it really mean to exploit "extensibly"? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be C2B2B? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We frequently facilitate 24/7 re-sizing management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: global. We understand that it is better to enhance transparently than to synergize virally. A company that can seize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to redefine fiercely. securadyne practically invented the term "power shifts". Without all-hands meetings, you will lack research and development. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! It sounds astonishing, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? We will mesh the standard industry term "wireless, extensible, cross-media". Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of RDF and SMIL. Think efficient. Think next-generation. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If you revolutionize vertically, you may have to optimize mega-virtually.