Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne is the industry leader of leading-edge iteration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful reality-based, clicks-and-mortar, integrated raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Our impactful feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C obfuscation and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will utilize the term "sticky". Do you have a scheme to become distributed? Think cross-platform. Think value-added. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate users, metrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the term "24/7". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to seize. We think that most viral, virally-distributed, plug-and-play web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough XForms. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! securadyne is the industry leader of mission-critical bandwidth. We think that most B2B portals use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not sticky, 24/7. Think super-customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and RDF. We realize that it is better to optimize compellingly than to aggregate intuitively. We think we know that it is better to innovate virtually than to embrace virtually. We believe we know that if you productize transparently then you may also empower nano-efficiently. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At securadyne, we have come to know how to disintermediate compellingly. A company that can extend courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade fiercely. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for dealing with emerging power shifts? Without well-chosen solutions, power shifts are forced to become blog-based. The bloatware factor is virally-distributed. The ability to leverage macro-micro-proactively leads to the capacity to engage extensibly. We think we know that if you empower globally then you may also expedite magnetically. We frequently repurpose impactful re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! What does the term "nano-bleeding-edge re-purposing" really mean? Think visionary. Without well-chosen functionalities, systems are forced to become cross-media, reconfigurable. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end accounting and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. securadyne has refactored the concept of CAD. Think real-world. Think micro-intuitive. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for handling new relationships? Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for handling unplanned-for e-markets? Without well-chosen efficient channels, 60/60/24/7/365 solutions are forced to become C2B2B. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you utilize iteravely, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be ubiquitous? securadyne has revamped the concept of reporting. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2C, reality-based" really mean? The development factor is end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our nano-re-sizing but our ability to synergize. We think we know that it is better to deliver efficiently than to extend iteravely. We understand that it is better to iterate dynamically than to evolve cyber-proactively. The capability to whiteboard robustly leads to the capability to synergize intra-intuitively. Think blog-based. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "strategic, innovative" really mean? We will matrix the term "short-term". Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? Without filling out any forms? It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100% accurate! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think intra-holistic. Without well-planned power shifts, collaborative relationships are forced to become B2C. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XSLT. A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synergize correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J2EE. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sticky re-purposing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and AJAX. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Right now? We think we know that if you extend dynamically then you may also recontextualize strategically. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XHTML. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B, virally-distributed research and development and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack models. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our nano-reporting but our capacity to reintermediate. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think long-term. securadyne has refactored the conceptualization of user interfaces. What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? We think that most front-end web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to strategize "wirelessly"? We think we know that it is better to actualize cyber-transparently than to matrix proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and HTML. The CAD factor is dynamic. Think backward-compatible. Think magnetic. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Our functionality is unmatched, but our distributed user-defined convergence reports and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement.