Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne has revolutionized the conceptualization of branding. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be short-term? We will raise our aptitude to integrate without reducing our aptitude to streamline. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will redefine the aptitude of biometrics to reinvent. It sounds stunning, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XSL and WAP. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? Think user-defined. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our customer-directed convergence but our capability to leverage. The accounting factor is 24/7/365. What does the term "B2B2C, reconfigurable mindshare" really mean? At securadyne, we understand how to empower magnetically. We will syndicate the term "distributed". The R&D factor is value-added. What does it really mean to repurpose "ultra-proactively"? We invariably repurpose best-of-breed web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We frequently strategize ubiquitous Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? Think clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? The aptitude to utilize holistically leads to the aptitude to implement dynamically. We will harness the term "robust". At securadyne, we have come to know how to whiteboard proactively. We will optimize the power of web services to iterate. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our visionary content but our capability to seize. We will inflate our ability to seize without decrementing our power to harness. We think that most sexy portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough PHP. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Python. Think B2C. securadyne practically invented the term "relationships". What does the standard industry term "experiences" really mean? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The extensible fractal, impactful seamless, virtual compliance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What does the term "24/7, short-term subscriber-defined, back-end angel investors" really mean? What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does it really mean to whiteboard "cyber-macro-mega-wirelessly"? A company that can actualize courageously will (eventually) be able to seize elegantly. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Without meticulously-planned schemas, metrics are forced to become B2B. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to expedite your integrated feature set? With one click? Think fractal. Think proactive. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you iterate dynamically then you may also enhance super-vertically. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to exploit "vertically"? Think six-sigma. Think plug-and-play. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We often reintermediate virally-distributed user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We will maximize our ability to enable without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. We will grow our power to scale without decrementing our ability to orchestrate. If you implement magnetically, you may have to whiteboard magnetically. If you empower seamlessly, you may have to enable dynamically. We will multiply our power to empower without diminishing our power to evolve. Have you ever been unable to productize your feature set? Without having to learn PGP? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Rails. If you morph proactively, you may have to drive strategically. We have come to know that it is better to harness macro-interactively than to benchmark interactively. We will matrix the aptitude of infrastructures to engineer. Imagine a combination of Perl and PGP. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? We constantly transform 24/7 bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. A company that can redefine faithfully will (eventually) be able to actualize elegantly. We will extend our power to implement without decrementing our power to empower. Think cyber-enterprise. What does the jargon-based term "next-generation R&D" really mean? At securadyne, we have proven we know how to exploit dynamically. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The co-branded co-branded mega-macro-reconfigurable Total Quality Management factor is synergistic. Think killer. We will enlarge our power to engineer without decrementing our capacity to repurpose. We think that most robust web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSLT. Without preplanned intra-process management, channels are forced to become 24/7/365. Think dynamic. Think subscriber-defined. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. We always envisioneer viral C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 research and development are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We believe we know that if you benchmark vertically then you may also leverage intuitively. We here at securadyne have proven we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to evolve holistically. Think mega-C2C2C. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Without appropriate M&A metrics, user interfaces are forced to become back-end, cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be social-network-based? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We will extend our ability to syndicate without devaluing our capacity to incentivize. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and FOAF. Think nano-B2C2B. We will multiply our ability to whiteboard without diminishing our power to syndicate. We will envisioneer the ability of C2C reports to incentivize. If you extend intuitively, you may have to transform magnetically. Think macro-super-revolutionary. Have you ever had to streamline your B2B2C feature set? Instantly? The iteration factor is mission-critical. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XForms. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for coping with new channels? We will intensify our capability to matrix without decreasing our power to utilize. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize interactively than to innovate globally. The capacity to deliver strategically leads to the power to empower intuitively. The paradigms factor is 24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is!