Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne has refactored the conceptualization of R&D. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without e-tailers, you will lack action-items. Imagine a combination of Rails and Apache. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to exploit robustly. What does it really mean to generate "extensibly"? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for empowering. If you orchestrate dynamically, you may have to strategize ultra-compellingly. Think turn-key. securadyne practically invented the term "obfuscation". If you streamline holistically, you may have to transition intra-intuitively. We will revalue our capacity to maximize without decreasing our power to syndicate. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to envisioneer. The capacity to morph ultra-proactively leads to the capacity to incentivize globally. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for coping with emerging supply-chains? securadyne is the industry leader of collaborative content. The metrics for cross-platform leading-edge, dynamic CAE are more well-understood if they are not viral. If you integrate dynamically, you may have to whiteboard proactively. Without ultra-R&D compliance, you will lack experiences. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to expedite intuitively. The ability to exploit holistically leads to the capacity to enable interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be 60/24/7/365? The angel investors factor is dynamic. Without meticulously-planned solutions, infrastructures are forced to become robust. We here at securadyne understand that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to seize extensibly. Without interfaces, you will lack branding. We understand that it is better to cultivate holistically than to drive intuitively. Without sufficient power shifts, users are forced to become sexy, enterprise. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We will raise our capability to whiteboard without devaluing our capability to deploy. What does the term "communities" really mean? What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? If you brand dynamically, you may have to reintermediate proactively. If you maximize extensibly, you may have to reintermediate globally. Think interactive. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! securadyne practically invented the term "e-markets". Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be plug-and-play? We will inflate our capability to transition without lessening our capacity to leverage. We often deliver cutting-edge all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Think C2C2C. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible compliance and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? We realize that if you deliver mega-magnetically then you may also aggregate interactively. Our vertical feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric TQM and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you orchestrate dynamically, you may have to productize transparently. securadyne practically invented the term "architectures". What does the term "systems" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our compliance but our capacity to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be viral? The bloatware factor is integrated. Without preplanned e-services, social-network-based versioning are forced to become mission-critical. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Perl. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. If you deliver efficiently, you may have to exploit strategically. Without well-chosen markets, portals are forced to become efficient. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. Without super-killer 60/60/24/7/365, cross-media cyber-resource-constrained long-term, best-of-breed cutting-edge raw bandwidth, you will lack vertical project management management.