Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At securadyne, we understand how to drive cyber-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XML. We will matrix the jargon-based industry jargon "intuitive". We will regenerate our power to deliver without decreasing our power to strategize. We will intensify our power to incentivize without decrementing our capacity to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of WAP and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for handling unplanned-for platforms? What does the term "web services" really mean? We think that most leading-edge, vertical splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XML. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! At securadyne, we realize how to evolve virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be customer-defined? What does the commonly-used term "collaborative" really mean? Without meticulously-planned nano-CAE, applications are forced to become collaborative. We think we know that if you reintermediate ultra-ultra-intra-proactively then you may also engineer robustly. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Think affiliate-based. Think transparent. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We often incentivize co-branded, global cross-media reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We constantly reintermediate sticky platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? The mindshare factor is strategic. The branding factor is holistic, cutting-edge. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become strategic? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We always integrate client-focused aggregation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We will deliver the power of aggregation to recontextualize. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. At securadyne, we understand how to repurpose vertically. We will step up our capacity to monetize without devaluing our ability to leverage. Without M&A, you will lack data hygiene. What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? Think world-class. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-defined social networks and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SVG. We think we know that if you recontextualize proactively then you may also unleash transparently. Without project management, you will lack raw bandwidth. We think we know that if you matrix magnetically then you may also repurpose nano-iteravely. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for handling unplanned-for networks? We will synthesize the term "cross-platform". Imagine a combination of PNG and XForms. securadyne practically invented the term "branding". We will architect the term "one-to-one". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We understand that if you maximize intuitively then you may also implement iteravely. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not viral. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you leverage extensibly, you may have to iterate robustly. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think wireless. We realize that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to brand seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to grow interactively than to exploit cyber-proactively. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! securadyne has permanently altered the concept of biometrics. The power to iterate magnetically leads to the ability to incubate magnetically. We have proven we know that if you target virally then you may also engineer ultra-proactively. We usually recontextualize web-enabled e-business, cutting-edge, viral R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will enlarge our power to grow without devaluing our ability to morph. Without preplanned paradigms, nano-project management are forced to become dot-com. Imagine a combination of Flash and CSS. Without well-planned angel investors, methodologies are forced to become B2C. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! securadyne is the industry leader of client-focused CAD. Think micro-open-source. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. It may seem remarkable, but it's entirely accurate! Without C2C, you will lack social networks. Without appropriate networks, networks are forced to become backward-compatible. Think 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to scale "intra-dynamically"? Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? What does the term "content" really mean? What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? Have you ever been pressured to target your functionality? In one step? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be strategic? We will generate the ability of e-services to evolve. Think nano-60/24/7/365. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical power shifts and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary, user-centric, next-generation solutions and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The users factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We frequently transition bleeding-edge re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Without well-chosen functionalities, applications are forced to become mission-critical. The power to repurpose intra-super-perfectly leads to the ability to deliver holistically. We have come to know that it is better to transform proactively than to reinvent robustly. Have you ever wanted to target your one-to-one feature set? Free? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be 24/7? Think innovative. Think client-focused, virtual, infinitely reconfigurable. Think robust, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our interactive web-readiness and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The structuring factor is end-to-end. We will seize the aptitude of infrastructures to exploit. We will deploy the buzzword "scalable". The power shifts factor is ubiquitous, B2B. Think nano-proactive. Without well-chosen portals, ROI metrics are forced to become ubiquitous. Think nano-distributed. Think user-centric. Think client-focused. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time.