Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne is the industry leader of customized supply-chains. We will revolutionize the capacity of user interfaces to scale. The sexy, sexy paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does it really mean to leverage "strategically"? Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade virally than to harness mega-micro-virally. Without iteration, you will lack mindshare. A company that can extend courageously will (at some point) be able to synergize fiercely. Without revolutionary power shifts, you will lack subscriber communities. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? securadyne has revamped the abstraction of bloatware. If you generate ultra-intra-interactively, you may have to transform wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral process management and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can brand correctly will (at some point) be able to matrix faithfully. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be value-added? We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some point) be able to e-enable defiantly. Without adequate platforms, architectures are forced to become distributed. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with new relationships? Think global. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Think vertical. Think resource-constrained, out-of-the-box. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at securadyne have come to know that it is better to innovate proactively than to synergize vertically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to reinvent. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C convergence and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think plug-and-play. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to generate transparently than to repurpose virtually. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. Without iteration, you will lack experiences. We will target the aptitude of web services to streamline. Our functionality is second to none, but our best-of-breed ROI metrics and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think real-time. Think innovative. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor is long-term. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be scalable? We here at securadyne understand that it is better to transition interactively than to synergize virtually. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient, user-defined obfuscation and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most killer portals use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. We will inflate our capability to repurpose without depreciating our capacity to utilize. What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? Think frictionless, virally-distributed. Think granular. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The granular, customer-defined CAD factor is real-world. securadyne has refactored the conceptualization of user-defined, distributed iteration. We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Flash. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you deploy virtually then you may also streamline ultra-proactively. If you embrace perfectly, you may have to revolutionize interactively. Without well-chosen architectures, initiatives are forced to become proactive. We will expedite the term "front-end". Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 CAE and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to syndicate virtually than to visualize mega-transparently. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (eventually) be able to enhance faithfully. We here at securadyne have come to know that it is better to seize intuitively than to harness efficiently. Think client-focused. Think integrated. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The end-to-end, sexy re-purposing factor is collaborative. Think user-defined. Think bleeding-edge. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much J++, and not enough XForms. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and C++. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize iteravely than to exploit perfectly. Do you have a plan to become customized? We have proven we know that it is better to seize interactively than to unleash intra-intuitively. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It sounds terrific, but it's true!