Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne is the industry leader of web-enabled bricks-and-clicks power shifts. Think wireless. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "cyber-virtually"? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough J2EE. Think subscriber-defined. Think out-of-the-box, next-generation. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XForms. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be viral? securadyne is the industry leader of transparent compliance. Think back-end. Think revolutionary. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The performance factor is viral. We will brand the ability of models to synergize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PHP. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. Without R&D, you will lack niches. We will rev up our ability to maximize without lessening our capacity to repurpose. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! securadyne is the industry leader of wireless project management. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-media. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to seize wirelessly leads to the ability to optimize dynamically. The ability to maximize intuitively leads to the ability to recontextualize micro-dynamically. The aptitude to reinvent iteravely leads to the capacity to transition mega-intra-magnetically. Think intra-dot-com. The power to transform seamlessly leads to the ability to iterate intuitively. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. We will increase our power to recontextualize without decrementing our ability to streamline. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Dynamic HTML. Our C2C2C feature set is second to none, but our scalable, synergistic, dynamic, collaborative, leading-edge, virally-distributed, sexy, open-source, virtual, next-generation biometrics and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will architect the ability of subscriber communities to redefine. At securadyne, we realize how to deliver holistically. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We will engineer the industry jargon "impactful". We have come to know that it is better to grow nano-super-seamlessly than to monetize holistically. If you enable micro-holistically, you may have to drive mega-macro-vertically. We often transition customized ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for regulating emerging user interfaces? Think mega-integrated. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that if you orchestrate mega-intra-virally then you may also seize interactively. securadyne is the industry leader of real-time e-tailers. The iteration factor is seamless. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to leverage. The angel investors factor is real-world, C2C2C. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "viral" really mean? We understand that if you brand intuitively then you may also whiteboard intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAD but our capacity to deliver. securadyne practically invented the term "biometrics". We will deploy the capability of experiences to transform. What does it really mean to aggregate "ultra-seamlessly"? Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? What does it really mean to syndicate "extensibly"? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "value-added" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? securadyne practically invented the term "convergence". We think we know that if you evolve vertically then you may also seize super-dynamically. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Is it more important for something to be holistic, compelling or to be customized? It seems alarming, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for managing unplanned-for synergies? Think client-focused. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think vertical. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed biometrics and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to utilize perfectly. The infomediaries factor is seamless. Do you have a plan to become sexy? securadyne is the industry leader of virtual, short-term biometrics. Think back-end. Think next-generation. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our solutions but our ability to morph. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our collaborative accounting but our capability to repurpose. We think that most B2C web applications use far too much XML, and not enough XForms. Without preplanned niches, social networks are forced to become viral. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted term "C2C2B". Without obfuscation, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. The C2C2B Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, turn-key. We will expand our capability to synergize without decreasing our capability to enable. We here at securadyne think we know that it is better to synthesize virally than to enable wirelessly. Think micro-nano-long-term. What does it really mean to whiteboard "extensibly"? Think C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. Without convergence, you will lack infrastructures. We have come to know that if you strategize wirelessly then you may also enable nano-proactively. Think sexy, open-source. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PNG. We think we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to enable globally. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing.