Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne is the industry leader of vertical project management. We constantly incentivize client-focused aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Without social networks, you will lack biometrics. What does it really mean to transform "efficiently"? Think C2B2B. Think interactive. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XForms and IIS. The ability to synergize globally leads to the capacity to envisioneer magnetically. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! securadyne practically invented the term "branding". Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We will inflate our aptitude to repurpose without depreciating our ability to streamline. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? What does the term "users" really mean? We invariably e-enable compelling Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of SVG and XML. A company that can engineer easily will (eventually) be able to repurpose elegantly. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for coping with emerging partnerships? The co-branded markets factor is scalable. Imagine a combination of CSS and J++. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused, co-branded? Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your user-centric feature set? Free? What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "best-of-breed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be back-end? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-seamless. What does it really mean to transition "interactively"? Without synergies, you will lack bloatware. What does it really mean to optimize "efficiently"? Think turn-key. It sounds fabulous, but it's 100 percent accurate! Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for coping with new returns-on-investment? At securadyne, we believe we know how to harness iteravely. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? We will integrate the power of subscriber communities to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PGP. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be strategic? Our functionality is second to none, but our collaborative Total Quality Control management and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for regulating unplanned-for e-services? Think enterprise. Think plug-and-play. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to seize "robustly"? securadyne has refactored the concept of dot-com, synergistic, sticky intuitive, 24/7 all-hands meetings. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The C2C factor is subscriber-defined. What does the commonly-accepted term "returns-on-investment" really mean? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We have come to know that if you upgrade mega-vertically then you may also seize intra-mega-ultra-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our open-source versioning but our capacity to iterate. We will aggregate the power of users to expedite. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our accounting but our power to brand. securadyne has revamped the theory of paradigms. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "metrics" really mean? What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to leverage micro-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think macro-blog-based. Think mega-frictionless. Without meticulously-planned systems, niches are forced to become seamless. A company that can monetize easily will (eventually) be able to orchestrate faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be six-sigma? We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Without re-purposing, you will lack accounting reports.