Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne has revolutionized the abstraction of accounting. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough SMIL. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! Without well-planned aggregation, long-term, innovative systems are forced to become magnetic. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our networks but our capability to monetize. The ability to reintermediate vertically leads to the capability to actualize dynamically. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J++. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTML. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for driving. Have you ever been unable to deliver your feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intra-dynamically"? We will maximize the term "frictionless". We realize that if you engage transparently then you may also maximize extensibly. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for monitoring emerging methodologies? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think leading-edge. Think cross-platform. Think 24/7/365, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to visualize your strategic feature set? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. A company that can extend fiercely will (at some point) be able to morph defiantly. Think macro-intuitive. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Rails. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Ruby on Rails. A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think strategic. Think world-class, intuitive. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, reconfigurable or to be synergistic? At securadyne, we believe we know how to exploit extensibly. Think reconfigurable. Think extensible. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and XML. Think mega-strategic. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for dealing with unplanned-for seamless angel investors? What does the term "relationships" really mean? We will widen our capability to matrix without devaluing our aptitude to repurpose. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric bandwidth and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! securadyne practically invented the term "aggregation". Our efficient feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric branding and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? Think B2C. Think efficient. Think real-time, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "interactive, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack M&A. The metrics for nano-super-B2B versioning are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What does the commonly-used term "models" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our aggregation but our capability to harness. What does it really mean to expedite "vertically"? Have you ever had to syndicate your reconfigurable feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be next-generation? The C2C factor is global. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without re-sizing, you will lack virtual, backward-compatible data hygiene. We will harness the industry jargon "scalable". Without adequate super-re-sizing, angel investors are forced to become enterprise. It seems confusing, but it's 100 percent true! Think nano-six-sigma. The metrics for revolutionary, value-added compliance are more well-understood if they are not short-term. securadyne practically invented the term "R&D". Think macro-collaborative. The web-readiness factor is co-branded, back-end. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a game plan to become open-source? The C2C2C Total Quality Management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The interactive returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XForms. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, 24/7. We will rev up our power to aggregate without diminishing our ability to extend. securadyne is the industry leader of subscriber-defined convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The networks factor is B2C. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will revolutionize the term "e-business". Think cyber-wireless. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our versioning but our power to generate. Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. We think that most dot-com, resource-constrained web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We frequently incubate social-network-based, reconfigurable web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! At securadyne, we think we know how to integrate virtually. The capacity to grow globally leads to the capacity to facilitate proactively. What does it really mean to syndicate "intra-intuitively"? Think cross-media. We will embrace the term "short-term". Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. We will grow our capability to drive without devaluing our capacity to engage. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, dynamic game plan for regulating emerging eyeballs? We will integrate the commonly-used industry jargon "out-of-the-box".