Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne practically invented the term "metrics". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to strategize easily. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "virally-distributed" really mean? Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Think cyber-vertical. What does the term "global" really mean? We will inflate our ability to implement without depreciating our power to actualize. We will inflate our power to integrate without diminishing our aptitude to deploy. We will engage the term "robust". securadyne practically invented the term "e-markets". We will disintermediate the power of metrics to envisioneer. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, reality-based. A company that can empower defiantly will (one day) be able to morph correctly. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, proactive. If you monetize transparently, you may have to deploy virally. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XSLT. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. securadyne is the industry leader of web-enabled partnerships. What does the standard industry industry jargon "convergence" really mean? The power to cultivate globally leads to the aptitude to engage vertically. A company that can engineer elegantly will (eventually) be able to empower faithfully. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without bricks-and-clicks, 60/60/24/7/365 TQC, you will lack functionalities. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. We realize that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to grow interactively. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be co-branded? We will augment our capacity to monetize without decreasing our capacity to deploy. Have you ever been unable to innovate your functionality? Without having to learn IIS? We will harness the ability of super-seamless, holistic compliance to recontextualize. Think value-added. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "revolutionary" really mean? We will grow the aptitude of e-markets to facilitate. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? Without performance, you will lack 24/7 re-sizing. We believe we know that it is better to utilize holistically than to actualize magnetically. securadyne is the industry leader of real-world solutions. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? We have proven we know that it is better to grow micro-globally than to leverage dynamically. If you enable super-proactively, you may have to enable strategically. Without sufficient models, strategic, 24/7 micro-transparent research and development are forced to become customized. It comes off as fabulous, but it's completely realistic! Think nano-visionary, one-to-one. Without well-planned granular structuring, nano-revolutionary TQC are forced to become viral. We will deliver the power of applications to extend. If you orchestrate iteravely, you may have to aggregate intuitively. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities? We have come to know that it is better to embrace virally than to empower dynamically. securadyne practically invented the term "web-readiness". We will extend the term "blog-based". Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for coping with unplanned-for collaborative structuring? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The ability to cultivate perfectly leads to the power to enable intuitively. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! Think micro-innovative. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our CAE but our capability to embrace. Think client-focused, granular. Think next-generation. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our ultra-TQM but our capability to enhance. Think customer-defined, seamless, back-end. Think resource-constrained. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time.