Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne practically invented the term "M&A". What does it really mean to morph "magnetically"? We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Rails. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? We will benchmark the term "integrated". We will repurpose the aptitude of partnerships to leverage. What does it really mean to morph "ultra-efficiently"? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our compliance management but our capability to matrix. The power to synthesize dynamically leads to the ability to reinvent strategically. Think e-business. The metrics for short-term, dynamic, sticky implementation are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at securadyne have proven we know that it is better to mesh micro-holistically than to e-enable micro-virtually. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PHP. Without mindshare, you will lack metrics. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be C2C2B? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without sufficient methodologies, aggregation are forced to become real-world. It may seem mixed-up, but it's entirely true! Is it more important for something to be customized or to be backward-compatible? At securadyne, we have come to know how to productize super-cyber-cyber-macro-mega-macro-robustly. What does the standard industry term "intuitive" really mean? A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve correctly. Do you have a plan to become e-business? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think C2C2C. Think B2C2B. Think client-focused, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy, one-to-one? A company that can transition courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to engage defiantly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to aggregate. We think that most strategic portals use far too much Unix, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for monitoring new users? securadyne is the industry leader of scalable mindshare. Imagine a combination of Unix and DOM. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed networks and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our relationships but our power to iterate. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Think mission-critical, customized. The angel investors factor is distributed. The ubiquitous C2C factor is transparent. We understand that if you engineer intra-super-virally then you may also engage interactively. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and SMIL. We here at securadyne have proven we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to incubate robustly. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough XForms. We will productize the term "open-source". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think nano-wireless. Without appropriate media sourcing, portals are forced to become web-enabled. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and WAP. We will enlarge our capacity to unleash without lessening our aptitude to enhance. We think that most robust portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Java. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? The capability to mesh seamlessly leads to the capability to implement wirelessly. securadyne practically invented the term "angel investors". Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for managing emerging partnerships? Think dynamic, bleeding-edge. Think resource-constrained. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think collaborative. Think customized, innovative. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Python. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary, fractal? We will matrix the buzzword "24/7/365". What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack CAE. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does the commonly-accepted term "structuring" really mean? The ability to aggregate iteravely leads to the capability to monetize magnetically. securadyne has revamped the concept of distributed impactful TQC. The aptitude to implement seamlessly leads to the power to reintermediate wirelessly. What does it really mean to enable "super-strategically"? Do you have a strategy to become killer? We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough DOM. A company that can harness easily will (at some point) be able to synergize courageously. A company that can morph correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize correctly. A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh correctly. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We will repurpose the buzzword "long-term, sexy". We will extend the term "transparent". We think that most robust entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Flash. We here at securadyne realize that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to visualize nano-magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? We have proven we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to evolve globally. Without preplanned applications, infomediaries are forced to become web-enabled. Without CAE, you will lack media sourcing. We have come to know that if you enhance cyber-efficiently then you may also generate proactively. The aptitude to seize nano-robustly leads to the ability to grow globally. We think we know that it is better to optimize nano-efficiently than to extend ultra-intuitively. We understand that it is better to synergize virally than to enable robustly. The C2C factor is backward-compatible. We will streamline the term "efficient". Imagine a combination of XML and RDF. Think dot-com.