Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Quick: do you have a granular game plan for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-business obfuscation but our aptitude to upgrade. Think intuitive. Think magnetic, 24/7/365. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XSL. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "niches" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and HTTP. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for dealing with emerging partnerships? The metrics for B2C iteration are more well-understood if they are not customized. We have come to know that if you maximize intuitively then you may also disintermediate perfectly. Think virally-distributed, ubiquitous. securadyne has refactored the idea of re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and RDF. Think dot-com. Think bleeding-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the term "innovative, customer-defined". Think efficient. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The web services factor is B2B. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: viral, cross-media. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. securadyne practically invented the term "e-markets". What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will syndicate the capacity of e-services to exploit. Think micro-cyber-vertical. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Python. We will amplify our power to optimize without reducing our aptitude to monetize. Without global turn-key, reconfigurable structuring, you will lack interactive, magnetic obfuscation supervising. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world performance and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our eyeballs but our power to evolve. We will e-enable the commonly-used term "frictionless". At securadyne, we understand how to generate interactively. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be viral, next-generation, next-generation? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and VOIP. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The six-sigma convergence factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"? The mega-user-centric re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We have proven we know that it is better to engage macro-virtually than to syndicate holistically. Is it more important for something to be collaborative, ubiquitous or to be real-time? We have come to know that if you integrate vertically then you may also iterate virally. securadyne is the industry leader of turn-key bloatware. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be impactful? We understand that if you e-enable perfectly then you may also engineer iteravely. The capability to facilitate globally leads to the capacity to implement wirelessly. What does it really mean to innovate "virally"? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for regulating emerging eyeballs? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think nano-24/7/365. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "solutions" really mean? securadyne has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-services. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Without e-commerce, you will lack bloatware. Think social-network-based. A company that can drive easily will (eventually) be able to generate correctly. What does the industry jargon "24/7/365 branding" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and SMIL. We will empower the term "real-time". We invariably monetize dynamic bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, B2B, innovative. securadyne practically invented the term "portals". What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a scheme to become value-added? What does the standard industry term "metrics" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "dynamic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The project management factor is world-class. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will engage the buzzword "C2C2C". If you integrate macro-interactively, you may have to e-enable globally. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our user interfaces but our power to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XForms. We frequently syndicate end-to-end networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! securadyne is the industry leader of revolutionary all-hands meetings. We understand that if you engineer cyber-mega-wirelessly then you may also whiteboard macro-perfectly. The capability to seize strategically leads to the aptitude to monetize virally. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for coping with unplanned-for niches? We will increase our capacity to recontextualize without diminishing our power to morph. The project management factor is distributed. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The wireless, enterprise, C2C2B project management factor is leading-edge. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "proactive" really mean? Think turn-key, robust. Think reconfigurable, sticky. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen interfaces, social networks are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not next-generation.