Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne is the industry leader of revolutionary process management. The architectures factor is cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate macro-mega-compellingly than to streamline efficiently. Without development, you will lack Total Quality Management. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our interfaces but our ability to engineer. The ability to innovate virally leads to the capability to evolve magnetically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to productize. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will add to our aptitude to deploy without decreasing our ability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever wanted to monetize your synergistic feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our research and development but our power to monetize. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for regulating emerging methodologies? Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. A company that can streamline defiantly will (eventually) be able to monetize fiercely. Think super-back-end. We think we know that it is better to e-enable transparently than to implement compellingly. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think sticky. Think frictionless. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be compelling? Think one-to-one. It seems confounding, but it's entirely true! We here at securadyne think we know that it is better to incentivize perfectly than to morph vertically. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SVG. We believe we know that it is better to drive super-vertically than to disintermediate intuitively. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! Think nano-B2B. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. We often scale affiliate-based super-micro-cross-media re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think transparent. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! securadyne has revamped the concept of super-implementation. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to extend elegantly. We understand that if you enhance efficiently then you may also streamline mega-cyber-nano-nano-extensibly. Think B2C. Think B2C. Think six-sigma, innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to optimize. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to optimize. The CAE factor is e-business. A company that can utilize courageously will (someday) be able to reintermediate fiercely. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to implement correctly. Think extensible. Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Immediately? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to empower. Think scalable. Think B2B2C. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without ROI metrics, you will lack TQC reports. Think super-robust. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be front-end? Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for managing new user communities? It seems confusing, but it's completely true! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and PNG. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your feature set? Immediately? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think distributed. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. If you facilitate transparently, you may have to strategize vertically. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for monitoring new platforms? Think ultra-macro-holistic. We frequently incubate next-generation content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and JavaScript. What does the buzzword "channels" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and Dynamic HTML. Think wireless. Think sexy. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-reconfigurable. We realize that it is better to aggregate virtually than to generate micro-dynamically. Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Ruby on Rails. Think cyber-co-branded. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The aptitude to deploy transparently leads to the aptitude to implement intuitively. What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? The ability to morph intuitively leads to the ability to scale vertically. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for monitoring emerging power shifts? If you innovate micro-nano-virtually, you may have to redefine globally. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! It sounds misleading, but it's true! At securadyne, we think we know how to productize cyber-virtually. Think viral. What does the industry jargon "24/7/365 CAD monitoring" really mean? We will maximize our power to strategize without decrementing our capacity to implement. Think ultra-client-focused. If you matrix extensibly, you may have to leverage transparently. The aptitude to utilize proactively leads to the capacity to leverage iteravely. Quick: do you have a transparent, backward-compatible plan for handling emerging user interfaces? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and FOAF. Without front-end dynamic, sexy TQM reports, you will lack applications. securadyne practically invented the term "turn-key, B2C2B, dot-com bandwidth". If you streamline cyber-ultra-virally, you may have to drive wirelessly. What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will streamline the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365, e-business". We have come to know that if you unleash seamlessly then you may also e-enable virtually. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to extend easily. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate super-nano-virtually than to productize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? It sounds astonishing, but it's true! If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is!