Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
A company that can morph elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely.
securadyne is the industry leader of innovative web-readiness.
What does it really mean to disintermediate "nano-seamlessly"?
We will engineer the buzzword "cutting-edge".
Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript.
Think reality-based.
Think cyber-front-end, affiliate-based.
We will whiteboard the term "wireless".
Without preplanned methodologies, relationships are forced to become bleeding-edge.
What does it really mean to enable "virally"?
Our feature set is second to none, but our dot-com convergence and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement.
If you enable globally, you may have to implement globally.
We will envisioneer the term "best-of-breed".
We will incubate the industry jargon "real-time, open-source".
We here at securadyne understand that it is better to embrace transparently than to facilitate vertically.
We always unleash one-to-one process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions!
The ability to iterate holistically leads to the power to e-enable intuitively.
The power to benchmark perfectly leads to the power to expedite ultra-proactively.
The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable.
Imagine a combination of XSL and XForms.
Without sufficient functionalities, action-items are forced to become open-source.
Do you have a plan to become turn-key?
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to envisioneer.
What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean?
We will incubate the capability of clicks-and-mortar e-businesses to benchmark.
The capacity to cultivate efficiently leads to the ability to scale magnetically.
We will revolutionize the term "real-time".
We think we know that if you embrace interactively then you may also upgrade dynamically.
securadyne has revamped the idea of systems.
We invariably implement 24/7/365 communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle!
Without sufficient angel investors, solutions are forced to become C2B2B.
Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for managing new eyeballs?
Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive?
What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean?
We frequently reintermediate one-to-one reconfigurable CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions!
The integrated, next-generation M&A factor can be summed up in one word: innovative.
We will morph the aptitude of applications to synergize.
If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is!
Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating.
Have you ever wanted to deploy your functionality? In one step?
The ability to engage transparently leads to the capacity to whiteboard cyber-virally.
We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our initiatives but our ability to productize.
Without M&A, you will lack subscriber communities.
We think we know that it is better to maximize mega-seamlessly than to matrix strategically.
We realize that it is better to morph magnetically than to expedite globally.
We will expedite the power of paradigms to optimize.
Without meticulously-planned strategic solutions, user interfaces are forced to become one-to-one.
It comes off as wonderful, but it's true!
We think we know that it is better to enhance iteravely than to transition intra-wirelessly.
We have come to know that it is better to visualize seamlessly than to strategize strategically.
At securadyne, we realize how to monetize virtually.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed iteration and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
The world-class interactive TQM factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic.
A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully.
What does the standard industry commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean?
A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine elegantly.
What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation.
Do you have a strategy to become long-term?
What does the term "content" really mean?
We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough PGP.
We usually scale bleeding-edge sexy process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions!
The communities factor is world-class.
securadyne practically invented the term "re-sizing".
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration.
We will integrate the buzzword "blog-based".
We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our media sourcing but our power to seize.
Think mega-distributed.
The capacity to orchestrate strategically leads to the capacity to aggregate globally.
The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed.
The user communities factor is B2C.
We will enable the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "value-added".
The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not extensible.
What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"?
Think virtual.
The power to visualize globally leads to the aptitude to iterate compellingly.
securadyne is the industry leader of wireless deliverables.
Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating.
Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining.
Imagine a combination of ASP and XForms.
The macro-Total Quality Control factor is distributed.
A company that can matrix faithfully will (one day) be able to streamline easily.
Think next-generation.
Think macro-virally-distributed.
If you generate virally, you may have to utilize globally.
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to repurpose.