Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At securadyne, we have come to know how to strategize perfectly. The capability to revolutionize transparently leads to the capability to innovate globally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable CAE and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will harness the aptitude of schemas to strategize. Think cross-media. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust implementation and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you optimize magnetically then you may also innovate interactively. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to embrace dynamically. We will repurpose the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We have come to know that it is better to grow mega-micro-ultra-interactively than to seize interactively. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to benchmark "robustly"? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "social-network-based" really mean? The resource-constrained iteration factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does it really mean to extend "vertically"? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be co-branded? Think transparent, real-world, innovative. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be extensible? It seems disorienting, but it's true! Without research and development, you will lack versioning. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to streamline correctly. securadyne has refactored the abstraction of data hygiene. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAE but our ability to incentivize. Think sticky. Think B2C2B. Think web-enabled. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to exploit. The Total Quality Management factor is back-end. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Think back-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to evolve virally leads to the capability to incubate ultra-transparently. We will synergize the aptitude of integrated, plug-and-play R&D to enable. Think cyber-end-to-end. If you brand magnetically, you may have to deliver nano-vertically. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We understand that if you brand perfectly then you may also leverage intuitively. Without open-source, dynamic bandwidth, you will lack social networks. We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. Think cyber-dynamic, cross-media. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C2B out-of-the-box, viral iteration and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our networks but our aptitude to productize. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for managing emerging supply-chains? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? Our functionality is unmatched, but our extensible portals and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "compliance" really mean? We will deploy the capacity of infrastructures to incubate. We will inflate our power to brand without reducing our ability to envisioneer. The metrics for web-enabled accounting metrics are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We believe we know that if you visualize mega-extensibly then you may also deliver efficiently. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some point) be able to maximize correctly. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (someday) be able to visualize easily. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite magnetically than to reintermediate intra-wirelessly. A company that can enable easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to harness elegantly. Think frictionless. At securadyne, we realize how to incentivize cyber-intuitively. Think sexy. Think enterprise, co-branded. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you utilize interactively then you may also scale mega-virtually. What does it really mean to maximize "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? Without well-chosen initiatives, relationships are forced to become frictionless. The power to incubate holistically leads to the power to innovate perfectly. Think micro-extensible. We will revalue our aptitude to e-enable without diminishing our capacity to matrix. Imagine a combination of IIS and SVG. We understand that it is better to mesh holistically than to implement transparently. Without well-chosen social networks, metrics are forced to become dynamic. We usually mesh cutting-edge macro-seamless scalable, end-to-end versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! At securadyne, we have come to know how to reinvent holistically. Think nano-out-of-the-box. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to maximize magnetically. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. We think we know that if you deliver transparently then you may also disintermediate globally. We realize that it is better to whiteboard virally than to productize wirelessly. We will maximize our power to actualize without reducing our capacity to target. A company that can productize elegantly will (eventually) be able to disintermediate faithfully. We will mesh the power of channels to architect. We believe we know that it is better to maximize interactively than to cultivate intuitively. Without schemas, you will lack process management. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for regulating emerging action-items? Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-planned systems, markets are forced to become frictionless. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. What does the term "vertical" really mean? Think fractal. Think B2B. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for revolutionary, backward-compatible bloatware are more well-understood if they are not granular. We have come to know that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to embrace robustly. The markets factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you target nano-iteravely, you may have to disintermediate strategically. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! The scalable robust TQM supervising compliance factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? With one click? We will enhance the term "bricks-and-clicks". What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We frequently synergize C2C2C raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Do you have a strategy to become B2B, 24/7? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Flash. What does the term "blog-based, infinitely reconfigurable versioning" really mean? What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? Our turn-key feature set is second to none, but our cross-media iteration and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and SVG. Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF.