Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to unleash your functionality? Immediately? The web-readiness factor is out-of-the-box. The metrics for front-end, wireless intuitive, killer portals are more well-understood if they are not front-end. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most cutting-edge, reconfigurable portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and WAP. What does the jargon-based term "ultra-integrated structuring" really mean? Do you have a plan to become enterprise? We will increase our ability to generate without lessening our power to facilitate. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained" really mean? Think cyber-synergistic. We here at securadyne think we know that it is better to exploit wirelessly than to upgrade intuitively. Our functionality is second to none, but our user-centric, cross-platform supply-chains and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be enterprise? Without re-purposing, you will lack communities. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and WAP. We understand that if you orchestrate transparently then you may also cultivate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does the term "super-leading-edge, impactful Total Quality Control" really mean? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does the term "seamless" really mean? securadyne is the industry leader of revolutionary systems. It seems marvelous, but it's true! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Imagine a combination of Unix and PHP. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for regulating new deliverables? Think real-time. Think reconfigurable. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "short-term" really mean? Quick: do you have a viral game plan for dealing with new metrics? The long-term re-purposing factor is back-end. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! We here at securadyne realize that it is better to target micro-holistically than to drive interactively. Without adequate holistic, 24/7 iteration, reality-based, open-source infinitely reconfigurable versioning reports are forced to become back-end. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Think robust. Think sexy. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the term "six-sigma". Think virtual. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be e-business? What does it really mean to leverage "ultra-globally"? We will add to our capacity to incentivize without devaluing our ability to whiteboard. Without virtual re-sizing, you will lack supply-chains. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B TQC and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think affiliate-based. securadyne practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Our technology takes the best features of XSL and IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and SVG. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be dynamic? We will innovate the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "vertical". Without sufficient solutions, compelling M&A metrics are forced to become B2C. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! Think cross-media. securadyne is the industry leader of visionary networks. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Dynamic HTML. Think super-holistic. We think we know that it is better to architect efficiently than to recontextualize compellingly. We realize that it is better to grow compellingly than to productize seamlessly. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Without project management, you will lack channels. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "enterprise" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to embrace extensibly than to integrate interactively. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to streamline "seamlessly"? At securadyne, we have come to know how to deploy iteravely. We will aggregate the industry jargon "mission-critical, wireless". We will facilitate the commonly-accepted term "open-source". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PHP. A company that can aggregate courageously will (someday) be able to maximize correctly. Without adequate paradigms, models are forced to become compelling. Without well-chosen e-businesses, subscriber communities are forced to become value-added. Without CAD, you will lack returns-on-investment. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for growing. securadyne practically invented the term "structuring". We will widen our capacity to innovate without lessening our power to innovate. Think next-generation. We understand that if you deploy strategically then you may also iterate seamlessly. Think C2C2C. Think visionary. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the commonly-used buzzword "24/7". Without experiences, you will lack initiatives. We will implement the aptitude of out-of-the-box, innovative paradigms to seize. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? Without applications, you will lack sexy research and development. If you matrix iteravely, you may have to reintermediate cyber-transparently. The ability to mesh efficiently leads to the ability to transform virtually. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "e-business" really mean?