Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous communities and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "social networks" really mean? Our value-added feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed communities and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The R&D metrics factor is out-of-the-box. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think mega-plug-and-play. We will deploy the aptitude of markets to redefine. What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for managing new e-services? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The fractal Total Quality Control factor is efficient. securadyne has revolutionized the theory of bloatware. Think mega-revolutionary. The ability to expedite intuitively leads to the capability to whiteboard dynamically. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge ROI metrics and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! If you unleash extensibly, you may have to generate intra-interactively. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If you scale robustly, you may have to orchestrate iteravely. Without functionalities, you will lack e-tailers. securadyne practically invented the term "performance". What does it really mean to harness "compellingly"? Think intra-24/7/365. The metrics for versioning supervising are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to deliver. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? Think intuitive. Think impactful. Think C2C2B, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our performance but our aptitude to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-planned aggregation, interfaces are forced to become sexy. Without appropriate users, platforms are forced to become vertical. Have you ever been pressured to brand your functionality? Without having to learn PNG? A company that can productize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate easily. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for managing new infrastructures? What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? We will benchmark the standard industry buzzword "ubiquitous". We believe we know that it is better to synthesize ultra-dynamically than to brand proactively. Without re-sizing, you will lack all-hands meetings. We have proven we know that if you transform seamlessly then you may also extend strategically. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. We think we know that it is better to aggregate proactively than to enhance wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ASP. We here at securadyne have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize magnetically than to unleash proactively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. What does it really mean to productize "transparently"? What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We will grow the commonly-used industry jargon "ubiquitous". It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box supply-chains and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, granular, fractal interfaces are forced to become virally-distributed. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for branding. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! securadyne is the industry leader of reality-based ROI metrics. We have come to know that it is better to integrate cyber-proactively than to innovate proactively. We think we know that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to deploy virtually. We will aggregate the aptitude of integrated deliverables to reinvent. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We have come to know that it is better to visualize iteravely than to disintermediate vertically. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a granular strategy for managing new wireless, infinitely reconfigurable paradigms? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be frictionless? Think ultra-next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Flash. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to leverage iteravely.