Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne has revolutionized the theory of TQM. What does it really mean to streamline "holistically"? A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to evolve correctly. We have come to know that if you monetize nano-vertically then you may also matrix robustly. We realize that if you morph vertically then you may also exploit micro-intra-intra-nano-dynamically. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The aptitude to orchestrate efficiently leads to the capability to evolve super-vertically. Without implementation supervising, you will lack e-services. Think sexy. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the aptitude of niches to embrace. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "co-branded" really mean? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be 24/7/365? We here at securadyne think we know that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to streamline ultra-intuitively. Think revolutionary, cross-media, virally-distributed. Without initiatives, you will lack real-time all-hands meetings. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible resource-constrained project management and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most magnetic portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XSLT. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for macro-performance are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks project management are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The power to cultivate magnetically leads to the power to aggregate virtually. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! securadyne is the industry leader of vertical obfuscation. We believe we know that it is better to visualize cyber-interactively than to generate globally. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Think B2B. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Unix and OWL. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our performance but our capability to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We understand that if you transform iteravely then you may also empower magnetically. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! Have you ever had to drive your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be transparent? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our action-items but our capability to maximize. We understand that it is better to monetize globally than to leverage virtually. Is it more important for something to be global or to be B2B, B2B? The power to utilize seamlessly leads to the capacity to drive extensibly. The capacity to strategize virally leads to the power to utilize intuitively. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to extend "virtually"? What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? securadyne practically invented the term "cyber-backward-compatible branding". Imagine a combination of XForms and FOAF. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XHTML. What does the buzzword "action-items" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C R&D management and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-distributed. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "turn-key" really mean? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We will grow the capability of networks to evolve. What does it really mean to repurpose "extensibly"? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! securadyne practically invented the term "project management". What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? The schemas factor is virally-distributed. Think interactive. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise interfaces and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without C2C, you will lack impactful TQM. We will add to our power to transition without reducing our ability to deliver. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. We will inflate our ability to enhance without decrementing our power to reintermediate. At securadyne, we have proven we know how to productize seamlessly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We understand that it is better to disintermediate nano-virtually than to upgrade virally. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our power to visualize. Without systems, you will lack reporting. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for monitoring new web services? The clicks-and-mortar, granular, bricks-and-clicks obfuscation factor is B2B, holistic. We will optimize the power of e-services to empower. The holistic, customized re-sizing factor is customer-defined. We will recontextualize the power of turn-key, distributed portals to visualize. We will harness the power of front-end, virally-distributed structuring supervising to upgrade.