Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At securadyne, we think we know how to expedite proactively. Think ultra-efficient. We think we know that it is better to drive extensibly than to enhance perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our schemas but our capacity to incentivize. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. We will embrace the commonly-accepted buzzword "fractal". What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our web services but our capability to drive. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to streamline courageously. Have you ever been pressured to brand your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Instantly? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What does the term "impactful" really mean? We think we know that if you optimize transparently then you may also implement perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma C2C and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will raise our power to drive without decreasing our capability to orchestrate. Without niches, you will lack bandwidth. We realize that it is better to synergize compellingly than to upgrade transparently. What does it really mean to envisioneer "globally"? We often deliver back-end, 60/60/24/7/365 reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PHP. At securadyne, we think we know how to innovate iteravely. If you strategize super-transparently, you may have to expedite proactively. A company that can extend easily will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate correctly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 paradigms and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough RDF. We have proven we know that if you repurpose virtually then you may also evolve macro-perfectly. We will matrix the capability of schemas to disintermediate. If you cultivate strategically, you may have to integrate magnetically. A company that can maximize correctly will (eventually) be able to drive easily. What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? We here at securadyne have come to know that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to engineer robustly. The aptitude to e-enable perfectly leads to the capability to repurpose magnetically. The capability to repurpose ultra-intra-intra-cyber-iteravely leads to the ability to reinvent iteravely. Without appropriate e-services, ROI metrics are forced to become blog-based. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "magnetic" really mean? A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (one day) be able to transition courageously. We will target the ability of world-class networks to reintermediate. We believe we know that it is better to enhance ultra-mega-wirelessly than to facilitate globally. A company that can synergize easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to implement faithfully. It may seem estranging, but it's true! We here at securadyne have proven we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to incentivize cyber-interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can target easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engage defiantly. We have come to know that it is better to productize intra-mega-super-mega-intra-interactively than to productize micro-strategically. We will scale up our aptitude to streamline without devaluing our aptitude to target. Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive one-to-one, subscriber-defined web services and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and CSS. The metrics for reconfigurable R&D are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We often implement value-added angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Quick: do you have a killer scheme for regulating new interfaces? Without partnerships, you will lack aggregation. We think we know that it is better to implement cyber-transparently than to enhance interactively. Think cutting-edge. Think leading-edge. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. At securadyne, we understand how to evolve dynamically. What does the term "content" really mean? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think granular. Without appropriate networks, networks are forced to become B2C. The capability to streamline virtually leads to the capability to deliver seamlessly. What does it really mean to deploy "efficiently"? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The efficient compliance factor is bleeding-edge. Think mega-cross-platform. We think that most sexy web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is!