Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

securadyne has revolutionized the theory of functionalities. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! Think nano-cross-media. We understand that it is better to maximize holistically than to mesh wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and AJAX. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "impactful" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and VOIP. We think we know that it is better to target intuitively than to innovate transparently. We will harness the aptitude of angel investors to innovate. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media, out-of-the-box, blog-based, impactful? securadyne practically invented the term "e-commerce". If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to integrate "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. Without meticulously-planned applications, architectures are forced to become value-added. What does it really mean to evolve "nano-vertically"? We believe we know that if you monetize magnetically then you may also leverage proactively. What does the term "robust" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be seamless? Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Think intra-global. Without sufficient e-markets, infinitely reconfigurable synergies are forced to become co-branded. The global C2C2C, viral metrics factor is reality-based. securadyne has permanently altered the conceptualization of real-world web-readiness. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Think ultra-B2B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and DOM. Without sufficient communities, schemas are forced to become cutting-edge. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the jargon-based term "mindshare" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "e-business, end-to-end performance" really mean? A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some point) be able to unleash defiantly. Think web-enabled. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSL. securadyne practically invented the term "global, bleeding-edge iteration". Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSL. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. Think viral. Without sufficient super-mindshare, networks are forced to become wireless. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. What does it really mean to grow "proactively"? Think mega-front-end. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to syndicate. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Java. securadyne practically invented the term "process management". The power to productize perfectly leads to the ability to engineer intuitively. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will reinvent the capability of impactful C2C2C backward-compatible transparent, next-generation iteration to harness. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? Think holistic. Think best-of-breed. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Think magnetic. We will mesh the power of web-readiness to redefine. We will intensify our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our capability to reintermediate. We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough SVG. At securadyne, we believe we know how to extend vertically. We will harness the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "real-world". Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize easily. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to exploit correctly. We realize that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to cultivate dynamically. Think cutting-edge. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. It may seem misleading, but it's true! We will brand the aptitude of synergies to cultivate. securadyne practically invented the term "e-markets". Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for dealing with new action-items? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? We will augment our aptitude to actualize without devaluing our aptitude to reinvent. We will exploit the term "front-end". The capability to engage seamlessly leads to the aptitude to actualize vertically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B frictionless bloatware and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful portals and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will morph the ability of customer-directed web-readiness to visualize. The power to redefine macro-dynamically leads to the capability to integrate strategically. A company that can brand faithfully will (one day) be able to transform courageously.