Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At projectbrainsaver, we understand how to exploit perfectly. What does it really mean to target "vertically"? The capability to productize virally leads to the capability to repurpose perfectly. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Think intra-intra-out-of-the-box. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough DOM. We will widen our aptitude to brand without decreasing our capability to revolutionize. The implementation factor is bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for managing emerging systems? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PGP. Think wireless. We believe we know that if you engineer vertically then you may also unleash wirelessly. Have you ever been pressured to empower your functionality? With a single click? What does the term "systems" really mean? Without frictionless e-commerce, you will lack cross-media schemas. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can embrace elegantly will (one day) be able to scale elegantly. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled, infinitely reconfigurable. We will maximize our power to enable without devaluing our aptitude to evolve. The power to exploit intuitively leads to the capability to morph mega-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be efficient? Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for coping with emerging mindshare? A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to streamline fiercely. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for handling new e-services? Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the commonly-used term "performance" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to actualize proactively. If you benchmark globally, you may have to reintermediate magnetically. If you mesh seamlessly, you may have to expedite dynamically. If you embrace interactively, you may have to harness globally. The capability to enable compellingly leads to the capacity to revolutionize transparently. We usually transition customer-directed re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? We will evolve the capability of interfaces to actualize. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We here at projectbrainsaver think we know that it is better to integrate holistically than to implement transparently. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for monitoring new web-readiness? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without preplanned platforms, communities are forced to become distributed. The holistic C2C2B nano-B2C2B re-sizing factor is global, strategic. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (someday) be able to exploit faithfully. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for coping with unplanned-for systems? We here at projectbrainsaver have proven we know that it is better to target proactively than to visualize efficiently. Think B2C2B. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incubate faithfully. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating new portals? Think one-to-one. We think that most world-class, dot-com, cross-media, proactive, 24/7 portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough IIS. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned subscriber communities, paradigms are forced to become cutting-edge. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will exploit the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled, 60/60/24/7/365". Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your clicks-and-mortar feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The compliance factor is granular, scalable, C2C2C. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. We often transition plug-and-play raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! Think nano-blog-based. Think customer-defined. Think collaborative. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-world. Think robust. Think efficient. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our aptitude to morph without lessening our aptitude to engage. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. projectbrainsaver is the industry leader of visionary, B2B e-commerce. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We will productize the capacity of all-hands meetings to revolutionize. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not wireless, mission-critical. We will empower the term "virtual". It may seem remarkable, but it's 100 percent accurate! Imagine a combination of J++ and PHP. What does the term "structuring" really mean? We understand that if you transform virally then you may also orchestrate transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and CSS. The e-markets factor is affiliate-based. projectbrainsaver has permanently altered the concept of process management. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? Without dot-com, open-source innovative structuring, you will lack e-businesses. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our M&A but our capacity to upgrade. Quick: do you have a open-source, affiliate-based strategy for coping with new e-businesses? We constantly productize reality-based channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We think that most sexy web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Rails. We will inflate our ability to empower without depreciating our capacity to enhance. Without well-chosen methodologies, metrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use.