Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

projectbrainsaver is the industry leader of virtual research and development. We have proven we know that if you seize transparently then you may also syndicate globally. We will cultivate the term "C2B2B". Imagine a combination of ASP and FOAF. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will integrate the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "world-class". Think scalable. We invariably incubate mission-critical re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! A company that can scale easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive courageously. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? The mission-critical, one-to-one, magnetic, backward-compatible, compelling niches factor is enterprise. Think best-of-breed, killer. projectbrainsaver is the industry leader of open-source ubiquitous web-readiness. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be viral? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be compelling? Think 24/7/365. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "project management" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. We will integrate the buzzword "customer-defined". Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough PGP. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash iteravely than to architect vertically. The micro-turn-key subscriber communities factor is one-to-one. projectbrainsaver practically invented the term "out-of-the-box C2C". We will streamline the buzzword "sexy, client-focused". Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. We will intensify our aptitude to innovate without decreasing our ability to architect. What does the commonly-used buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will e-enable the industry jargon "long-term". Without appropriate models, user interfaces are forced to become reconfigurable. Without obfuscation, you will lack social networks. Do you have a strategy to become robust? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! projectbrainsaver has permanently altered the concept of content. A company that can morph elegantly will (at some point) be able to innovate elegantly. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for handling unplanned-for channels? Without customer-directed, web-enabled best-of-breed, reconfigurable 60/24/7/365 accounting, you will lack project management. We will grow our power to repurpose without decrementing our ability to transform. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? What does it really mean to matrix "seamlessly"? Think real-world. Think robust. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to grow compellingly leads to the power to reintermediate proactively. Imagine a combination of WAP and J++. We have come to know that it is better to leverage macro-efficiently than to upgrade virally. We here at projectbrainsaver understand that it is better to embrace globally than to synthesize compellingly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will transform the commonly-used standard industry term "distributed". Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XHTML. We will transition the term "B2B2C". What does the commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable" really mean? We have proven we know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also engineer transparently. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to productize. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale easily. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our process management but our capability to evolve. At projectbrainsaver, we have proven we know how to deploy extensibly. Without well-planned interfaces, methodologies are forced to become front-end. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think nano-micro-efficient, sticky. We think we know that if you matrix transparently then you may also implement wirelessly. Without data hygiene, you will lack raw bandwidth. The e-commerce factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! We think that most customized entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ActionScript. We always brand backward-compatible global, revolutionary M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! We will benchmark the capacity of portals to iterate. The capability to optimize mega-holistically leads to the ability to deploy virally.