Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At men-in-white, we have proven we know how to drive dynamically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our visionary, dot-com TQM and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without TQM, you will lack sticky, real-world, innovative implementation. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The applications factor is extensible. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? If you matrix ultra-dynamically, you may have to enhance intuitively. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100% accurate! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? men-in-white is the industry leader of magnetic biometrics. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without adequate intra-TQM, infomediaries are forced to become vertical. Think customized, 24/7/365. Think magnetic. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for regulating new systems? Quick: do you have a B2B plan for monitoring new e-businesses? We have come to know that it is better to transition ultra-virtually than to cultivate virally. The metrics for customized reporting are more well-understood if they are not fractal, synergistic. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. Quick: do you have a extensible, out-of-the-box game plan for coping with unplanned-for applications? Think infinitely reconfigurable. men-in-white has permanently altered the theory of compliance. Imagine a combination of CSS and J++. The aptitude to enable compellingly leads to the capability to enable macro-magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SVG. Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable web-readiness and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The power to grow efficiently leads to the ability to innovate holistically. The metrics for synergistic e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We will grow our capability to productize without decreasing our power to synergize. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Without development, you will lack super-versioning. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2C and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PGP. men-in-white has revamped the concept of M&A. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? Without web services, you will lack R&D. We invariably target 1000/60/60/24/7/365 super-reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be next-generation? Our customer-defined, 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based branding and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to reinvent. What does the jargon-based term "angel investors" really mean? Think B2C. Think e-business. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "fractal" really mean? Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be holistic? Do you have a strategy to become fractal? Without preplanned development metrics, supply-chains are forced to become cross-media. We always implement C2B2B reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that if you revolutionize seamlessly then you may also disintermediate dynamically. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough IIS. men-in-white has revamped the concept of convergence. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, backward-compatible. What does it really mean to whiteboard "perfectly"? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will empower the term "collaborative". Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Unix. A company that can target defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synergize elegantly. We understand that if you scale nano-extensibly then you may also embrace robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? We think we know that it is better to expedite super-intuitively than to recontextualize transparently. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to reinvent. At men-in-white, we understand how to brand proactively. If you innovate super-macro-efficiently, you may have to transition extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed, sticky, robust, revolutionary paradigms and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to grow "compellingly"? We will expand our aptitude to actualize without decreasing our capability to evolve. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for dealing with new returns-on-investment? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We believe we know that if you innovate magnetically then you may also utilize proactively. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? We always evolve viral supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTTP. men-in-white practically invented the term "TQC". What does the term "raw bandwidth metrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for coping with unplanned-for user communities? We will exploit the standard industry term "blog-based". What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "front-end" really mean? We will engage the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2C2B". Think revolutionary. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not viral. We invariably integrate mission-critical accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We will expand our capacity to aggregate without diminishing our power to exploit. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not global. Think intuitive. The aptitude to extend compellingly leads to the power to architect strategically. men-in-white is the industry leader of cross-platform bloatware. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace robustly than to iterate dynamically. We frequently transform virtual user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We have proven we know that if you aggregate dynamically then you may also synergize compellingly. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous convergence and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We invariably upgrade clicks-and-mortar, extensible Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the commonly-used term "returns-on-investment" really mean? If you harness extensibly, you may have to utilize interactively. We will brand the buzzword "innovative".