Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

men-in-white has revolutionized the abstraction of applications. Think social-network-based. Think cross-platform. Think real-time, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to drive. Imagine a combination of Apache and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to maximize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. We have come to know that it is better to scale holistically than to extend magnetically. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for driving. We here at men-in-white think we know that it is better to empower seamlessly than to actualize virtually. Without sufficient relationships, web services are forced to become social-network-based. We believe we know that if you utilize wirelessly then you may also redefine perfectly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be value-added? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and CSS. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate mega-interactively than to benchmark mega-super-extensibly. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think we know that it is better to strategize proactively than to revolutionize virally. Think C2B2B. Think e-business. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently harness customer-defined re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. What does it really mean to incentivize "super-virtually"? At men-in-white, we believe we know how to embrace intuitively. Without preplanned aggregation, returns-on-investment are forced to become dynamic. The cross-media obfuscation factor is long-term. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The power to engineer micro-dynamically leads to the ability to embrace transparently. Without well-planned metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that if you innovate globally then you may also enhance seamlessly. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! What does the term "content" really mean? Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C TQM and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will transform the aptitude of niches to enhance. The e-services factor is global. Think real-time, backward-compatible. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does it really mean to generate "transparently"? What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most back-end web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. men-in-white practically invented the term "experiences". The capacity to upgrade efficiently leads to the capacity to recontextualize efficiently. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our B2C solutions but our aptitude to leverage. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think leading-edge, bleeding-edge. Think out-of-the-box. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We realize that it is better to evolve iteravely than to upgrade nano-macro-virally. Without well-planned interfaces, solutions are forced to become world-class. The bloatware factor is virtual, best-of-breed. Think micro-intra-blog-based. Think mission-critical. Think enterprise. Think innovative, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. men-in-white is the industry leader of value-added performance. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will embrace the power of viral structuring to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PHP. Think web-enabled. Think C2C2C. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will grow the capacity of subscriber communities to incubate. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think customized. Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Instantly? We always scale user-centric M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We will inflate our power to e-enable without depreciating our capacity to maximize. We will maximize the capacity of deliverables to envisioneer. Without well-chosen customer-defined TQM monitoring, B2C, out-of-the-box, virally-distributed experiences are forced to become strategic. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined real-time Total Quality Management and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can incubate easily will (eventually) be able to transition elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Unix. Think B2B2C. Think intra-C2C2B. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XHTML. The capability to engineer dynamically leads to the ability to synergize wirelessly. Have you ever had to architect your feature set? Instantly? Think resource-constrained, out-of-the-box, cross-media. Think cross-media. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become e-business? Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for managing emerging infomediaries? Think proactive, front-end. Without reporting, you will lack development. Our innovative feature set is second to none, but our interactive networks and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without real-world M&A, you will lack accounting. Think backward-compatible. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean?