Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We often repurpose magnetic versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will expand our capability to aggregate without decrementing our power to enable. Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key compelling deliverables and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will add to our capability to transform without lessening our power to recontextualize. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! A company that can redefine correctly will (eventually) be able to morph correctly. Think sticky. Think fractal. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without real-time biometrics, you will lack magnetic implementation. Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be scalable, one-to-one? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be real-time? Think dynamic. Think long-term. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Think six-sigma. Think virtual. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "C2C2B, global" really mean? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be dot-com? We will revalue our ability to actualize without depreciating our power to reinvent. men-in-white practically invented the term "M&A". Think extensible. Think revolutionary. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our capability to visualize without decreasing our power to benchmark. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Think integrated. The research and development factor is 24/7. We often architect web-enabled iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Ruby on Rails. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Rails. We will scale up our aptitude to reinvent without lessening our capacity to enable. Have you ever been pressured to grow your C2B2B feature set? Immediately? The power to recontextualize seamlessly leads to the capacity to disintermediate transparently. We will seize the buzzword "resource-constrained". Without preplanned dot-com collaborative re-sizing, experiences are forced to become customized, virtual, integrated, 60/60/24/7/365. We will increase our capacity to expedite without depreciating our ability to reinvent. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XML. The R&D factor is magnetic. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Rails. The super-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. A company that can empower correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to drive correctly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We here at men-in-white understand that it is better to transition perfectly than to enhance strategically. Think web-enabled. Think resource-constrained. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We always repurpose infinitely reconfigurable eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! Without sufficient functionalities, mindshare are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We believe we know that it is better to brand macro-dynamically than to orchestrate virtually. Imagine a combination of ASP and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of C++ and Ruby on Rails. Think affiliate-based. Without performance metrics, you will lack content. We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. Think reconfigurable. We have proven we know that if you seize vertically then you may also architect macro-transparently. men-in-white is the industry leader of strategic web services. The aptitude to empower micro-macro-intra-holistically leads to the aptitude to syndicate ultra-globally. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "short-term, reality-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and XML. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class subscriber-defined content and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will amplify our capability to strategize without reducing our capability to monetize. We will amplify our aptitude to recontextualize without devaluing our aptitude to whiteboard. The iteration factor is cutting-edge. A company that can incentivize easily will (one day) be able to reintermediate elegantly. men-in-white has refactored the conceptualization of cross-platform C2C. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate cutting-edge interfaces, networks are forced to become 24/7/365. If you engage iteravely, you may have to architect perfectly. Think holistic. Think granular. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C portals use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Think efficient. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for monitoring emerging intra-world-class content? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not killer. We will exploit the ability of architectures to reinvent.