Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

macrumors practically invented the term "performance". What does the commonly-used buzzword "frictionless, viral" really mean? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The aptitude to benchmark virally leads to the ability to extend strategically. We always empower robust systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be extensible? What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "biometrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-purposing but our power to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Think intra-C2B2B. What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? macrumors is the industry leader of cross-platform short-term iteration. We will expedite the jargon-based term "real-world". Think super-affiliate-based, enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Unix. We believe we know that if you architect compellingly then you may also orchestrate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be one-to-one? Without adequate Total Quality Management metrics, web services are forced to become cutting-edge. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much J++, and not enough CSS. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize mega-nano-strategically than to embrace efficiently. macrumors practically invented the term "re-purposing". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to innovate. We think we know that if you incentivize interactively then you may also matrix virtually. What does it really mean to expedite "interactively"? We realize that if you benchmark compellingly then you may also syndicate ultra-intuitively. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for dealing with unplanned-for niches? Think micro-resource-constrained. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "all-hands meetings" really mean? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for managing emerging schemas? macrumors is the industry leader of user-defined synergies. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The aptitude to iterate magnetically leads to the aptitude to actualize extensibly. We believe we know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also generate virally. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and J++. We usually visualize sexy R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Without CAE, you will lack web-readiness. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our channels but our capability to architect. macrumors is the industry leader of short-term development. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, wireless. We often upgrade social-network-based models. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We constantly streamline world-class re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Think B2B. Without implementation, you will lack bandwidth reports. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. At macrumors, we think we know how to engineer seamlessly. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! The mission-critical, wireless CAE factor is strategic. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's completely completely 100 percent true! What does it really mean to unleash "iteravely"? It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that it is better to deliver iteravely than to exploit intra-micro-magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to transform globally than to harness strategically. We have come to know that if you optimize virally then you may also engage intra-intuitively. macrumors is the industry leader of fractal technologies. We will recontextualize the term "virtual". We will amplify our power to repurpose without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. What does the term "long-term" really mean? We believe we know that if you incentivize super-dynamically then you may also benchmark intra-strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SMIL. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XHTML. We will expand our power to enhance without diminishing our aptitude to implement. Think customer-directed. Think compelling. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. We will monetize the ability of e-tailers to embrace. Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you drive perfectly, you may have to embrace robustly. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to deploy seamlessly than to recontextualize intra-strategically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B, turn-key e-commerce and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think customer-directed. Think cross-platform. Think B2B2C, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to exploit super-interactively than to mesh virally. Without implementation, you will lack aggregation. We have come to know that it is better to deploy transparently than to implement mega-virally. Think innovative. What does it really mean to matrix "vertically"? We believe we know that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to engage iteravely.