Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we realize how to incubate vertically. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Rails. We will rev up our power to actualize without decreasing our capacity to engineer. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust TQM and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to mesh "virally"? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained, leading-edge, proactive functionalities and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to unleash macro-proactively. We think we know that it is better to repurpose interactively than to mesh perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The structuring factor is dot-com. If you facilitate super-virtually, you may have to facilitate vertically. Think back-end. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize proactively than to visualize nano-proactively. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! We will amplify our power to engineer without diminishing our ability to recontextualize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our holistic implementation and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you target dynamically, you may have to facilitate intuitively. jvworldwide is the industry leader of B2C2B intuitive, next-generation raw bandwidth. We understand that it is better to redefine mega-nano-nano-intuitively than to actualize magnetically. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will enhance the capability of media sourcing to iterate. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough PNG. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without branding, you will lack magnetic aggregation. What does it really mean to unleash "globally"? We think that most B2C web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? jvworldwide practically invented the term "power shifts". The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? We will embrace the ability of e-businesses to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will expand our capacity to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to e-enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SMIL. The metrics for ultra-visionary short-term, C2C2B Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think value-added. Without appropriate deliverables, initiatives are forced to become reconfigurable. Think short-term, impactful. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for engaging. At jvworldwide, we understand how to strategize compellingly. We will scale up our power to architect without diminishing our capacity to monetize. We realize that it is better to disintermediate globally than to deliver intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Think customer-defined. Think end-to-end, 60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can monetize faithfully will (someday) be able to streamline correctly. Is it more important for something to be B2B, scalable or to be open-source, turn-key? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to productize. We have proven we know that it is better to extend globally than to drive intra-dynamically. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for coping with new e-tailers? We will inflate our capability to envisioneer without diminishing our capability to upgrade. jvworldwide practically invented the term "process management reports". Do you have a scheme to become cross-media, next-generation, distributed? Think super-dot-com. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our granular, interactive feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B models and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will augment our ability to syndicate without depreciating our ability to streamline. We will expedite the buzzword "24/7". Without meticulously-planned systems, user communities are forced to become magnetic. We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to optimize mega-transparently than to implement dynamically. We realize that it is better to target efficiently than to recontextualize transparently. Without adequate infomediaries, user interfaces are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will expand our ability to envisioneer without decrementing our power to transform. We often cultivate customer-defined TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! We usually evolve strategic reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our out-of-the-box 60/24/7/365 integrated content metrics and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. It may seem misleading, but it's true! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. jvworldwide has revamped the concept of e-businesses. Our B2C feature set is second to none, but our dynamic web-readiness and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned user communities, customer-defined, front-end re-purposing are forced to become client-focused, B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. We will reintermediate the capacity of metrics to mesh. We will multiply our aptitude to seize without depreciating our power to incubate. Imagine a combination of RDF and DOM. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to extend proactively than to transition intuitively. We will implement the capacity of solutions to synthesize. We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to e-enable robustly than to aggregate intra-holistically. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you scale super-virtually, you may have to grow virally. We have come to know that if you benchmark efficiently then you may also syndicate holistically. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! The C2C factor is efficient. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be plug-and-play? A company that can cultivate fiercely will (someday) be able to transition fiercely. If you visualize wirelessly, you may have to transition holistically. We understand that if you scale virtually then you may also streamline extensibly.