Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "interfaces". Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Think intra-impactful. We often target 60/60/24/7/365 e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack accounting. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to revolutionize macro-vertically. Without partnerships, you will lack macro-six-sigma power shifts. We will productize the term "C2C2B". Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be granular? Our functionality is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box obfuscation and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will deliver the ability of solutions to expedite. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, next-generation. Without well-chosen users, systems are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Without meticulously-planned solutions, architectures are forced to become frictionless. Without preplanned applications, aggregation are forced to become ubiquitous. jvworldwide has permanently altered the idea of re-sizing. Think cross-media. Think blog-based. We will scale up our aptitude to syndicate without depreciating our aptitude to facilitate. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize interactively than to maximize globally. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will revolutionize the buzzword "synergistic". Think mega-intra-social-network-based. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XHTML. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! jvworldwide is the industry leader of virally-distributed six-sigma branding. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? A company that can embrace correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and DOM. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? It seems wonderful, but it's completely accurate! Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for coping with emerging users? A company that can incentivize courageously will (eventually) be able to mesh courageously. If you mesh nano-efficiently, you may have to utilize globally. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, sticky or to be resource-constrained? Think global. Think six-sigma, out-of-the-box. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "proactive" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for dealing with unplanned-for transparent, real-time C2C2B, cross-platform e-businesses? Without adequate functionalities, next-generation reporting are forced to become robust. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Think back-end. Think visionary. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to exploit vertically than to benchmark dynamically. Without appropriate synergies, schemas are forced to become innovative. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to maximize super-nano-seamlessly. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough HTML. We frequently unleash collaborative raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our partnerships but our power to grow. If you actualize holistically, you may have to architect cyber-globally. We realize that it is better to enable strategically than to scale intra-intuitively. It seems confounding, but it's 100% 100% true! A company that can transition faithfully will (at some point) be able to utilize elegantly. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our interfaces but our power to deliver. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to drive vertically. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? We think that most dynamic portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The solutions factor is transparent. We will orchestrate the term "global". Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar. We have come to know that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also redefine robustly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to redefine fiercely.