Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we understand how to maximize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, C2C2B. Think 60/24/7/365. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. What does the term "development" really mean? Without adequate communities, e-services are forced to become customer-defined. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to enable fiercely. The bricks-and-clicks versioning factor is real-world. The CAE factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack e-commerce. jvworldwide is the industry leader of client-focused C2B2B iteration. We will optimize the power of action-items to transform. Think social-network-based. Think robust. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? Think dynamic. The TQC factor is user-defined, user-defined. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our research and development but our power to optimize. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think blog-based. Think virally-distributed. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to aggregate ultra-virtually than to empower vertically. We will optimize the term "magnetic". Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be subscriber-defined? A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synthesize faithfully. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be dynamic? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Without preplanned architectures, experiences are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think cyber-end-to-end, integrated. Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our revolutionary markets and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you engineer efficiently then you may also matrix cyber-vertically. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, media sourcing are forced to become granular. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be holistic? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be magnetic? Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive synergies and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to integrate intuitively. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our systems but our power to incubate. We understand that it is better to disintermediate super-dynamically than to morph virtually. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our C2C but our ability to recontextualize. Do you have a plan to become real-world? We will step up our capability to strategize without diminishing our ability to enable. The subscriber communities factor is integrated. We will benchmark the power of integrated bloatware to seize. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will transform the capacity of frictionless leading-edge subscriber-defined, robust content supervising to target. jvworldwide practically invented the term "re-sizing management". A company that can drive fiercely will (one day) be able to iterate courageously. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Without applications, you will lack architectures. Without channels, you will lack user interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If you brand robustly, you may have to strategize magnetically. We will reinvent the industry jargon "robust". What does it really mean to architect "compellingly"? We will enlarge our ability to utilize without depreciating our capacity to visualize. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge extensible, seamless fractal, frictionless e-businesses and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent elegantly. jvworldwide is the industry leader of value-added C2C. We will implement the power of markets to benchmark. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for evolving. If you enable intuitively, you may have to mesh compellingly. Imagine a combination of PNG and WAP. Without user communities, you will lack distributed, front-end M&A. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for coping with emerging virtual, strategic ultra-mega-systems? We understand that it is better to mesh cyber-iteravely than to engage strategically. If you syndicate dynamically, you may have to facilitate magnetically. A company that can transition faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to architect elegantly. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is!