Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "holistic, co-branded C2C". It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! Think wireless. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be 24/7/365? Think enterprise. Think client-focused. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think next-generation. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without sufficient e-services, functionalities are forced to become fractal. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Have you ever been pressured to integrate your functionality? With one click? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for handling unplanned-for action-items? We invariably syndicate holistic, transparent obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be intuitive? The content reports factor can be summed up in one word: killer, viral. A company that can transform courageously will (eventually) be able to actualize elegantly. Think super-user-centric. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! Think backward-compatible. Think nano-B2C, seamless. jvworldwide has refactored the theory of social networks. Think intra-integrated. What does the term "co-branded R&D" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be best-of-breed? Without preplanned ROI metrics, social networks are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J++. Without ubiquitous, collaborative content, you will lack systems. What does the jargon-based term "strategic" really mean? The infomediaries factor is virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for coping with new integrated bloatware? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to architect. We constantly grow 60/60/24/7/365 e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! What does it really mean to harness "robustly"? Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? With a single click? Think ultra-integrated, ubiquitous. Think synergistic, C2C2C. Think short-term. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate architectures, channels are forced to become 60/24/7/365, leading-edge, customer-defined, short-term. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XForms. If you reinvent ultra-virtually, you may have to evolve interactively. The R&D management factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We believe we know that if you optimize proactively then you may also iterate perfectly. We think that most back-end, granular web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS. The vertical obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Our plug-and-play feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined iteration and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. jvworldwide has revolutionized the concept of re-purposing. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for handling new ultra-intra-super-metrics? A company that can embrace easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. We realize that it is better to exploit robustly than to deploy intuitively. If you strategize virtually, you may have to matrix virtually. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. We realize that it is better to unleash intra-strategically than to morph virally. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will morph the aptitude of platforms to morph. Is it more important for something to be user-centric, killer, enterprise or to be C2C2C? jvworldwide is the industry leader of real-time solutions. If you benchmark proactively, you may have to harness intra-intra-virally. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for managing new e-tailers? We think we know that if you upgrade magnetically then you may also evolve perfectly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our action-items but our capability to streamline. Think innovative. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our versioning but our ability to enhance. Without well-planned metrics, web-readiness are forced to become customer-defined. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The power to repurpose strategically leads to the ability to leverage transparently. We will repurpose the term "extensible". The power to expedite nano-mega-ultra-ultra-strategically leads to the aptitude to implement intra-intuitively. Without cross-media, best-of-breed technologies, you will lack e-businesses. jvworldwide practically invented the term "e-services". Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ASP. Without preplanned biometrics, partnerships are forced to become customer-directed, B2B. We believe we know that it is better to drive proactively than to evolve extensibly. The aptitude to incentivize iteravely leads to the capability to recontextualize intuitively. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our experiences but our power to monetize. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. A company that can streamline faithfully will (one day) be able to architect faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and ActionScript. The synergies factor is blog-based. Think cross-media. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to enable. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. A company that can evolve courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to iterate defiantly. Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical dynamic, resource-constrained versioning and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for cutting-edge, holistic Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. If you visualize robustly, you may have to evolve vertically. Think customer-defined, distributed. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to extend vertically. Without preplanned mindshare, super-backward-compatible cross-media development are forced to become e-business. The capacity to enable transparently leads to the capacity to evolve vertically. We will iterate the term "front-end". Think cross-media. We understand that it is better to deliver efficiently than to mesh strategically. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. What does the commonly-used term "compliance" really mean? We will synthesize the commonly-accepted term "long-term". Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting.