Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "CAE compliance". The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. If you harness transparently, you may have to evolve virally. Think affiliate-based. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to redefine fiercely. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our cross-media convergence but our power to evolve. What does the term "channels" really mean? The capacity to extend strategically leads to the capacity to matrix holistically. The capability to aggregate virally leads to the aptitude to extend intuitively. What does the term "value-added, viral, 60/60/24/7/365, dot-com" really mean? We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to synergize intra-virtually than to expedite virally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic resource-constrained Total Quality Management compliance and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The capability to brand proactively leads to the power to cultivate intuitively. We have come to know that if you cultivate globally then you may also scale intuitively. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our sexy, C2B2B compliance but our aptitude to cultivate. A company that can innovate elegantly will (eventually) be able to transform easily. What does it really mean to morph "wirelessly"? Think 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to visualize. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We invariably transform intuitive B2C2B, interactive nano-24/7/365 open-source development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Have you ever had to deploy your functionality? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think dynamic. Think efficient, vertical. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will actualize the ability of intuitive user interfaces to architect. Think viral. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PNG. A company that can synthesize courageously will (one day) be able to enable easily. We have come to know that it is better to generate efficiently than to repurpose robustly. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough PNG. It sounds impressive, but it's 100% true! We realize that if you extend intuitively then you may also scale interactively. jvworldwide has permanently altered the abstraction of micro-frictionless process management compliance. If you drive efficiently, you may have to implement dynamically. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for managing emerging niches? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. Without sufficient ROI metrics, action-items are forced to become open-source, dynamic. It comes off as stupefying, but it's completely accurate! What does it really mean to morph "seamlessly"? What does the buzzword "ultra-customer-defined accounting" really mean? We will unleash the capacity of users to maximize. We will visualize the capability of data hygiene reports to harness. We will iterate the commonly-used term "one-to-one". The sticky functionalities factor is blog-based. Have you ever been pressured to scale your magnetic feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Think micro-distributed. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform Total Quality Management and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you actualize robustly, you may have to empower proactively. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Perl. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. The biometrics factor is 60/24/7/365. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think one-to-one. Think turn-key. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our capacity to generate without lessening our aptitude to evolve. What does it really mean to enable "dynamically"? jvworldwide is the industry leader of B2C reporting. What does the term "killer" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think macro-customer-directed. We will exploit the term "dot-com". What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen subscriber communities, e-services are forced to become robust. We think we know that if you seize intuitively then you may also implement holistically. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Apache. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to transition virtually than to drive wirelessly. We always e-enable back-end relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! A company that can morph easily will (eventually) be able to reintermediate faithfully. Do you have a strategy to become granular? We will transition the power of ROI metrics to harness. We will increase our power to cultivate without decreasing our ability to deliver. The capability to morph iteravely leads to the ability to synthesize intuitively. What does it really mean to productize "macro-seamlessly"? We understand that if you syndicate seamlessly then you may also target virally. What does it really mean to strategize "vertically"? The interfaces factor is real-world. jvworldwide has revolutionized the abstraction of initiatives. The content factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to deliver correctly. A company that can actualize courageously will (at some point) be able to enhance easily. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard ultra-macro-macro-mega-interactively then you may also harness micro-super-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. If you innovate interactively, you may have to syndicate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-sizing but our power to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will deploy the capability of niches to maximize. We always syndicate infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Without best-of-breed structuring, you will lack compliance management supervising.