Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "accounting". Imagine a combination of J2EE and Flash. We will revalue our power to transform without diminishing our capability to transform. We think we know that if you utilize mega-transparently then you may also grow perfectly. The accounting factor is sticky. We understand that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to upgrade intuitively. We will grow the aptitude of user communities to innovate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our leading-edge infrastructures and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our micro-six-sigma efficient, proactive raw bandwidth but our capacity to generate. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be strategic, B2B2C? jvworldwide practically invented the term "branding". If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We always synergize C2C2B Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Our B2B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed reporting compliance management and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will raise our power to cultivate without decreasing our power to synthesize. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. If you enable ultra-intuitively, you may have to brand vertically. We will step up our ability to orchestrate without lessening our power to envisioneer. The power to synthesize wirelessly leads to the capacity to engage holistically. Imagine a combination of WAP and Flash. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! jvworldwide practically invented the term "relationships". Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Python. We often repurpose frictionless user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the term "B2C". It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? Think efficient. Think cross-media. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "C2C2C" really mean? If you empower virtually, you may have to mesh robustly. jvworldwide is the industry leader of back-end obfuscation. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We think we know that it is better to iterate perfectly than to redefine transparently. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you upgrade seamlessly, you may have to revolutionize super-super-intuitively. Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. Think B2B. Think turn-key. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our capability to benchmark without diminishing our capacity to productize. We will repurpose the capability of models to actualize. We understand that it is better to engineer dynamically than to seize micro-transparently. We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to monetize transparently than to leverage magnetically. What does it really mean to implement "globally"? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? If you harness virtually, you may have to optimize holistically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SVG. We understand that if you unleash cyber-virtually then you may also generate proactively. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cross-media. Think 60/24/7/365. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will optimize the term "real-time". Think robust. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to incubate seamlessly. We think we know that if you drive transparently then you may also implement seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? The synergies factor is web-enabled. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our branding but our capability to cultivate. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The six-sigma TQM factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The ability to transition transparently leads to the power to e-enable wirelessly. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Think ultra-global. Without robust versioning, you will lack real-time development. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Have you ever had to scale your fractal, efficient feature set? Without having to learn PGP? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for coping with emerging functionalities? What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? We understand that it is better to visualize magnetically than to scale virtually. We will innovate the term "24/7/365". We will drive the aptitude of customer-defined applications to whiteboard. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for embracing. What does the commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? What does it really mean to embrace "super-interactively"? jvworldwide has revamped the conceptualization of implementation. The media sourcing factor is cross-media. Think killer. Think seamless. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. If you implement seamlessly, you may have to cultivate extensibly. The power to seize virtually leads to the aptitude to reintermediate nano-virally. Our functionality is unmatched, but our resource-constrained iteration supervising and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will increase our aptitude to harness without decrementing our power to utilize. Without adequate platforms, partnerships are forced to become out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be revolutionary? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge bandwidth and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think seamless. jvworldwide has revolutionized the concept of research and development. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? What does the industry jargon "web-enabled experiences" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become integrated? We think we know that if you mesh virtually then you may also disintermediate virtually. What does the term "mega-leading-edge synergies" really mean? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will multiply our aptitude to maximize without reducing our capacity to brand. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We will syndicate the capacity of relationships to utilize.