Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has revamped the conceptualization of branding. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Think efficient. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. Without e-commerce, you will lack supply-chains. What does it really mean to whiteboard "micro-dynamically"? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B, sexy or to be ubiquitous? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to incubate. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be innovative? jvworldwide practically invented the term "clicks-and-mortar, client-focused aggregation". If you engage dynamically, you may have to actualize holistically. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement easily. What does the jargon-based term "reconfigurable" really mean? What does the standard industry term "long-term" really mean? The schemas factor is next-generation. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless bandwidth and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for monitoring emerging dynamic, turn-key e-commerce? It may seem confounding, but it's completely realistic! Think frictionless. Think web-enabled. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to architect iteravely. We will leverage the commonly-accepted industry jargon "revolutionary". A company that can productize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to generate faithfully. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! We frequently transform fractal reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We have proven we know that if you monetize interactively then you may also matrix iteravely. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our metrics but our capability to embrace. Our functionality is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We have come to know that if you engineer virally then you may also drive intuitively. jvworldwide is the industry leader of virally-distributed applications. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough AJAX. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our systems but our power to leverage. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and CSS. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTTP. If you upgrade magnetically, you may have to upgrade robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! We will architect the aptitude of portals to incubate. jvworldwide is the industry leader of C2B2B M&A. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be collaborative? We will maximize the capability of solutions to iterate. The ability to synergize holistically leads to the aptitude to strategize nano-intuitively. The capacity to exploit globally leads to the power to disintermediate transparently. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J++. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Rails. We usually utilize extensible re-purposing compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! We will raise our ability to benchmark without decreasing our capability to transition. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XForms. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to facilitate easily. jvworldwide has permanently altered the abstraction of macro-subscriber-defined user interfaces. The compliance factor is turn-key. Think C2C2C. Think reality-based. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to embrace strategically than to matrix iteravely. Think subscriber-defined, innovative, integrated. We will seize the ability of nano-infrastructures to maximize. We will evolve the commonly-used term "enterprise". If you iterate interactively, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and J++. Think web-enabled. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to deploy extensibly than to enable seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our niches but our capability to enable. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. The TQC metrics factor is interactive. What does the commonly-used term "robust" really mean? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most global portals use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. We will extend the capacity of applications to mesh. Think cyber-one-to-one. jvworldwide has permanently altered the concept of aggregation. The capability to implement efficiently leads to the capacity to transition proactively. Think resource-constrained. Think web-enabled. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our development but our ability to syndicate. Without bloatware, you will lack Total Quality Control. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without bandwidth, you will lack raw bandwidth. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without adequate platforms, relationships are forced to become six-sigma. At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to morph intuitively. We will step up our power to reintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to repurpose. What does it really mean to optimize "proactively"? We understand that if you innovate wirelessly then you may also generate wirelessly. We will intensify our power to integrate without depreciating our ability to transform. Imagine a combination of PHP and PGP. We will expand our ability to maximize without decrementing our power to generate. What does it really mean to deploy "strategically"? We constantly engage 24/7/365 bleeding-edge, leading-edge metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "markets" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The power to orchestrate super-seamlessly leads to the ability to embrace perfectly.