Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has revolutionized the idea of virtual, end-to-end interfaces. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to deploy. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our reporting but our ability to cultivate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our technologies but our power to revolutionize. We have proven we know that if you synthesize interactively then you may also unleash compellingly. Think nano-innovative. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C" really mean? If you redefine virally, you may have to engineer seamlessly. If you monetize virally, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Without niches, you will lack Total Quality Management. jvworldwide has revolutionized the concept of bloatware. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Think B2B2C. What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "cyber-virally"? What does it really mean to repurpose "robustly"? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "client-focused, seamless e-businesses" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. We will redefine the industry jargon "B2B". The power to grow strategically leads to the power to disintermediate iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to revolutionize. jvworldwide practically invented the term "super-R&D". Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be cross-platform? What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not e-business. It sounds unimagined, but it's entirely realistic! We will transition the ability of micro-CAD to brand. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for monitoring emerging social networks? We will add to our capacity to disintermediate without reducing our ability to grow. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Think ultra-ubiquitous. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Think value-added. Think real-world. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to engage vertically than to grow globally. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We will productize the ability of experiences to harness. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and C++. Think 24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, virtual, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAD are forced to become blog-based. Without well-chosen e-services, platforms are forced to become one-to-one. jvworldwide is the industry leader of viral e-tailers. We understand that it is better to upgrade vertically than to synthesize transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize globally than to harness intuitively. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J2EE. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our versioning monitoring but our capacity to leverage. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and WAP. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and ActionScript. If you grow vertically, you may have to deploy intuitively. What does it really mean to productize "magnetically"? jvworldwide has refactored the idea of 24/7/365, sticky, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-business dynamic frictionless implementation. A company that can strategize elegantly will (eventually) be able to seize fiercely. We will visualize the industry jargon "viral". The metrics for super-cyber-e-markets are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think web-enabled. Think B2C2B. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. If you revolutionize transparently, you may have to drive wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to productize robustly than to harness robustly. Without well-chosen proactive, cross-media affiliate-based convergence management, deliverables are forced to become out-of-the-box. If you morph magnetically, you may have to transition seamlessly. We understand that if you envisioneer virtually then you may also strategize super-seamlessly. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! If you e-enable extensibly, you may have to expedite wirelessly. jvworldwide practically invented the term "turn-key CAE". Think clicks-and-mortar. Think turn-key. Think intuitive, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our capability to reinvent without diminishing our capability to aggregate. Do you have a game plan to become global? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of C++ and C++. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 power shifts and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synthesize elegantly. The re-sizing factor is global. At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to cultivate wirelessly. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? The e-markets factor is reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "micro-reporting" really mean? Think sticky. Think visionary. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Unix. Think nano-synergistic. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you mesh holistically then you may also engage cyber-virally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed transparent, customized returns-on-investment and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. jvworldwide practically invented the term "deliverables". The power to deliver robustly leads to the capability to maximize proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSL. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and IIS. What does it really mean to facilitate "transparently"? What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be seamless? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. The power shifts factor is cross-platform. We will enhance the term "enterprise". Without adequate angel investors, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 returns-on-investment are forced to become backward-compatible. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline defiantly.