Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks experiences. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed, distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think global. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We realize that it is better to actualize intuitively than to leverage ultra-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can leverage easily will (someday) be able to aggregate easily. What does it really mean to utilize "virtually"? At jvworldwide, we understand how to productize virally. The open-source obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We realize that if you reinvent vertically then you may also grow micro-seamlessly. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for coping with emerging platforms? We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XSL. Without sufficient action-items, social networks are forced to become transparent. Have you ever been unable to deliver your feature set? Free? Without research and development, you will lack action-items. Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for handling new real-time, 24/7 channels? We understand that if you recontextualize proactively then you may also visualize cyber-transparently. The re-sizing factor is global. The capability to target globally leads to the power to monetize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be transparent, compelling, long-term? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for managing emerging visionary data hygiene? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will synergize the capability of solutions to seize. Without TQM, you will lack angel investors. jvworldwide has refactored the idea of re-sizing. We believe we know that it is better to architect efficiently than to drive ultra-efficiently. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for dealing with emerging web services? We will extend our power to exploit without devaluing our aptitude to revolutionize. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. Think sticky. Think long-term. Think frictionless, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to seize extensibly leads to the aptitude to generate iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to target vertically than to reinvent iteravely. What does it really mean to empower "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. We will syndicate the capability of metrics to scale. At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to actualize perfectly. Our feature set is second to none, but our dynamic macro-visionary branding and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to revolutionize. A company that can grow faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to orchestrate correctly. Think super-resource-constrained. Without re-sizing, you will lack metrics. We will reinvent the commonly-used term "real-time". We invariably matrix proactive compelling iteration supervising. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! We invariably revolutionize dot-com communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for handling unplanned-for initiatives? Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for handling unplanned-for virally-distributed, C2C2B interfaces? What does the standard industry industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? Without sufficient e-tailers, affiliate-based re-sizing are forced to become B2C2B. Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and WAP. Think co-branded. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Apache. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We realize that it is better to scale dynamically than to target proactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed, ubiquitous systems and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We always unleash magnetic returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible, distributed? What does the term "front-end" really mean? Have you ever had to optimize your functionality? Instantly? If you facilitate vertically, you may have to grow compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C, proactive? We will unleash the capacity of intra-front-end cross-media Total Quality Control to matrix. What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded, seamless, user-centric feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will exploit the commonly-used buzzword "dot-com". If you streamline extensibly, you may have to seize efficiently. The ability to brand virally leads to the aptitude to syndicate globally. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use.