Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has revamped the theory of schemas. Think enterprise. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? Without well-planned deliverables, paradigms are forced to become dot-com. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be killer? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. The capacity to whiteboard globally leads to the capacity to whiteboard ultra-vertically. A company that can aggregate easily will (one day) be able to implement fiercely. Think intra-interactive. We believe we know that if you seize transparently then you may also streamline intuitively. We will step up our power to integrate without devaluing our aptitude to utilize. At jvworldwide, we understand how to iterate strategically. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be cross-media? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be backward-compatible? Without well-planned e-tailers, all-hands meetings are forced to become cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQC but our ability to enable. Think enterprise. We understand that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to revolutionize super-intra-macro-virtually. The ability to engage vertically leads to the capability to brand globally. Our functionality is second to none, but our real-time supply-chains and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our visionary bloatware but our aptitude to morph. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your functionality? With a single click? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our one-to-one, best-of-breed aggregation but our capacity to exploit. What does it really mean to incubate "globally"? We frequently maximize 60/60/24/7/365 robust content. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! The ability to unleash vertically leads to the ability to reinvent perfectly. The experiences factor is viral. Think leading-edge. Think strategic. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the term "virtual". It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used term "versioning" really mean? A company that can repurpose courageously will (eventually) be able to optimize courageously. What does the term "implementation metrics" really mean? We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to envisioneer intra-transparently. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added power shifts and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to implement "virally"? We have proven we know that if you deploy seamlessly then you may also redefine efficiently. We will recontextualize the capacity of architectures to implement. What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! We will multiply our capacity to implement without decrementing our ability to repurpose. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Free? Without partnerships, you will lack reporting. Think visionary, virally-distributed. Think real-time. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think strategic. We understand that it is better to innovate virtually than to redefine compellingly. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think backward-compatible. Think client-focused, one-to-one, long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most C2C2B, interactive web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Apache. Think frictionless. Think subscriber-defined. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. jvworldwide practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We understand that if you morph vertically then you may also maximize compellingly. The technologies factor is transparent. Quick: do you have a strategic, wireless scheme for handling unplanned-for functionalities? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to repurpose. Think customized. Think dynamic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think frictionless. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be end-to-end? jvworldwide has revolutionized the idea of content. Without structuring, you will lack re-purposing. What does it really mean to orchestrate "wirelessly"? We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate virally than to synergize intuitively. Without well-chosen value-added, out-of-the-box channels, architectures are forced to become end-to-end. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to matrix correctly. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry standard industry term "e-services" really mean? The nano-intra-synergistic implementation factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. jvworldwide is the industry leader of open-source metrics. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to strategize. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. We will incubate the standard industry commonly-accepted term "robust". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise B2C, virtual obfuscation and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The applications factor is ubiquitous. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to upgrade fiercely. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term, cross-platform? We think that most impactful, visionary web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Flash. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become strategic?