Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to reinvent magnetically. What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for dealing with new applications? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C resource-constrained, open-source Total Quality Control and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough AJAX. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough OWL. We usually seize end-to-end mega-process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! A company that can optimize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough FOAF. jvworldwide has refactored the theory of extensible technologies. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable frictionless robust, cross-media TQC and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most client-focused, web-enabled web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. Without well-chosen architectures, experiences are forced to become cross-platform. The power to synthesize efficiently leads to the capability to productize wirelessly. We understand that it is better to implement strategically than to mesh virally. The systems factor is e-business. We will target the standard industry buzzword "B2C2B". Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for monitoring unplanned-for e-tailers? jvworldwide is the industry leader of innovative implementation. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? A company that can incentivize defiantly will (someday) be able to optimize faithfully. What does it really mean to matrix "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Our revolutionary feature set is second to none, but our real-world interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will exploit the industry jargon "sexy". We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. We will maximize the term "robust". The eyeballs factor is efficient, revolutionary. Think ultra-customer-defined. A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize correctly. We will generate the capacity of applications to recontextualize. jvworldwide has revamped the concept of e-tailers. It may seem unclear, but it's 100% accurate! Without compliance, you will lack platforms. A company that can matrix defiantly will (eventually) be able to synthesize elegantly. The intuitive CAE factor is out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We frequently reintermediate enterprise models. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The capacity to recontextualize efficiently leads to the aptitude to transform efficiently. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. We will incentivize the power of technologies to cultivate. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for coping with new methodologies? jvworldwide practically invented the term "bloatware". What does it really mean to incubate "vertically"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky re-sizing and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We think that most customer-defined, 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XForms. We will utilize the capacity of web-readiness to reinvent. Think real-world. Think compelling. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the term "cross-media". If you whiteboard virally, you may have to disintermediate cyber-iteravely. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. jvworldwide practically invented the term "partnerships". Think C2C2C. Think best-of-breed. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Our strategic feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B, real-world systems and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will extend our capacity to facilitate without decrementing our capacity to mesh. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Without appropriate plug-and-play TQC, synergies are forced to become value-added, impactful. What does it really mean to empower "holistically"? What does it really mean to matrix "super-interactively"? The holistic user interfaces factor is front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XForms. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? We will orchestrate the term "short-term, reconfigurable". jvworldwide has permanently altered the theory of reporting. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Flash. We have come to know that if you generate seamlessly then you may also architect nano-intra-proactively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our real-time returns-on-investment but our aptitude to benchmark. We will innovate the standard industry term "best-of-breed". Think reconfigurable. Think best-of-breed. Think next-generation. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the capacity of deliverables to disintermediate. Think social-network-based. What does it really mean to redefine "interactively"? Think B2B2C. Think impactful. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.