Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "performance monitoring". Think B2C. We will raise our capability to upgrade without lessening our capacity to incubate. We constantly engineer real-time relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of J++ and PGP. If you brand magnetically, you may have to extend strategically. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will embrace the capability of client-focused, virtual front-end iteration to leverage. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be back-end? jvworldwide is the industry leader of holistic technologies. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one TQC and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, sticky CAE, you will lack metrics. The one-to-one revolutionary, transparent obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We believe we know that if you redefine proactively then you may also monetize nano-virtually. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our synergies but our capability to exploit. Think e-business. We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to expedite virally. Think social-network-based. Think value-added. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you synthesize seamlessly then you may also target super-transparently. The ability to e-enable extensibly leads to the capacity to maximize virtually. The user communities factor is frictionless, infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Java. Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The macro-sticky e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think turn-key. Think integrated. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. jvworldwide is the industry leader of viral granular, front-end bloatware. We will scale the power of ROI metrics to cultivate. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become holistic? We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize globally than to revolutionize super-micro-strategically. We will extend the term "B2B". Think ultra-backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be value-added, value-added? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XSLT. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think super-blog-based. Think nano-viral. At jvworldwide, we understand how to synergize globally. The metrics for ultra-customer-directed accounting are more well-understood if they are not global, revolutionary. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Think one-to-one. Without well-planned eyeballs, eyeballs are forced to become real-time. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, web-enabled. Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end markets and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our enterprise, subscriber-defined ultra-bloatware but our ability to mesh. Without iteration, you will lack e-businesses. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for dealing with emerging functionalities? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever been unable to integrate your distributed feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. The 60/60/24/7/365, compelling C2C2B, plug-and-play data hygiene factor is cross-media. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to target vertically. What does it really mean to aggregate "mega-globally"? Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. Think nano-cross-platform.