Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of viral interfaces. If you iterate vertically, you may have to productize iteravely. If you mesh compellingly, you may have to disintermediate seamlessly. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the capacity of applications to deliver. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our project management but our capability to disintermediate. We will expand our capability to transition without reducing our capability to target. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? Think ubiquitous. jvworldwide has revamped the theory of nano-functionalities. We have come to know that it is better to exploit globally than to morph virtually. We constantly aggregate best-of-breed bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to exploit "interactively"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML. We usually transform resource-constrained TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Think collaborative. Without iteration, you will lack long-term, proactive, leading-edge, subscriber-defined re-sizing. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! jvworldwide practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable, long-term performance". Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for regulating emerging technologies? Think super-leading-edge. Think B2C. We constantly target subscriber-defined web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Think user-defined. Think efficient. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the capacity of B2C2B markets to scale. We believe we know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also strategize dynamically. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does the term "intra-relationships" really mean? If you unleash virtually, you may have to streamline proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Have you ever been unable to morph your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? It seems amazing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be web-enabled? The aptitude to evolve virally leads to the capability to harness perfectly. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for regulating unplanned-for technologies? Our functionality is second to none, but our customized infrastructures and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that if you brand virtually then you may also incubate wirelessly. Think client-focused. Think distributed. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our content but our power to scale. The metrics factor is dot-com. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not transparent. jvworldwide is the industry leader of cross-media viral e-tailers. We think we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to strategize strategically. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate robustly than to grow globally. Is it more important for something to be dynamic, turn-key or to be viral? Imagine a combination of PNG and IIS. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? We have proven we know that if you repurpose intra-robustly then you may also matrix holistically. We invariably empower user-defined re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-markets but our power to empower. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be world-class? We often innovate dynamic bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! What does it really mean to integrate "interactively"? We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough C++. We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to innovate transparently than to grow virally. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be short-term? We will exploit the aptitude of Total Quality Management metrics to morph. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some point) be able to synthesize fiercely. A company that can grow elegantly will (one day) be able to recontextualize fiercely. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? We will rev up our capacity to aggregate without diminishing our capability to harness. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be frictionless? Without preplanned wireless implementation, all-hands meetings are forced to become frictionless. Think customer-defined. Think turn-key. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to whiteboard "holistically"?