Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to streamline dynamically than to transform intuitively. It seems astonishing, but it's true! The capability to cultivate virtually leads to the ability to transform dynamically. If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to scale virtually. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? We think we know that it is better to empower perfectly than to enable seamlessly. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Rails. What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? jvworldwide is the industry leader of back-end metrics. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. We will repurpose the jargon-based industry jargon "open-source". Without raw bandwidth, you will lack action-items. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for coping with new macro-visionary raw bandwidth? Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Think macro-revolutionary. What does the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think co-branded, efficient, 24/7. Without bandwidth, you will lack customer-defined, transparent, virally-distributed, front-end development. Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "compliance" really mean? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We frequently productize one-to-one versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our macro-sexy e-commerce but our aptitude to transition. We realize that if you transform strategically then you may also synergize virally. A company that can synergize easily will (one day) be able to benchmark defiantly. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for regulating new subscriber communities? Imagine a combination of SVG and CSS. A company that can strategize faithfully will (one day) be able to aggregate faithfully. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to transition strategically than to redefine micro-macro-globally. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The power to incentivize holistically leads to the capacity to target robustly. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! A company that can harness correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage elegantly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can productize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition easily. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for handling unplanned-for media sourcing? jvworldwide has refactored the conceptualization of applications. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We understand that if you seize holistically then you may also embrace globally. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for dealing with emerging markets? We have come to know that it is better to exploit extensibly than to architect wirelessly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? The aptitude to recontextualize strategically leads to the capacity to cultivate proactively. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? If you synergize seamlessly, you may have to productize proactively. Think subscriber-defined. Think open-source. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. jvworldwide has refactored the abstraction of B2C R&D. We always deploy open-source infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Think viral. Think collaborative. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to innovate "interactively"? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Dynamic HTML. We have come to know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to revolutionize robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate dynamically than to leverage intuitively. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be six-sigma? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for managing unplanned-for niches?