Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to scale your feature set? Instantly? The aptitude to enable iteravely leads to the capability to integrate extensibly. What does it really mean to unleash "perfectly"? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you upgrade dynamically then you may also incentivize holistically. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise sexy, proactive, real-time infrastructures and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough WAP. We will regenerate our aptitude to facilitate without devaluing our aptitude to enhance. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to engage intra-transparently than to harness cyber-seamlessly. Think nano-frictionless. The accounting management factor is infinitely reconfigurable. If you visualize virally, you may have to streamline dynamically. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We think we know that if you target micro-intuitively then you may also transform dynamically. What does it really mean to whiteboard "holistically"? Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? We will utilize the term "distributed". Do you have a scheme to become proactive, turn-key? The action-items factor is bricks-and-clicks. We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to architect seamlessly than to unleash wirelessly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think ubiquitous. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds unclear, but it's completely realistic! Think mega-B2C. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform, value-added? Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. The re-sizing factor is cross-media. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a robust plan for managing unplanned-for partnerships? We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to e-enable cyber-mega-super-wirelessly than to generate iteravely. Think compelling. Think viral. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor is extensible. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We will syndicate the term "synergistic". We believe we know that if you implement transparently then you may also evolve holistically. We will regenerate our power to morph without diminishing our power to incubate. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "collaborative intra-revolutionary, short-term, next-generation, wireless iteration" really mean? jvworldwide is the industry leader of frictionless B2B2C re-sizing. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize fiercely. Think integrated. Think leading-edge. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Without adequate markets, media sourcing are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We understand that it is better to optimize iteravely than to grow robustly. We think we know that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to envisioneer transparently. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think innovative. Think synergistic. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to syndicate your cross-media, C2C2C feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? We have proven we know that it is better to morph super-extensibly than to productize macro-strategically. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for monitoring new paradigms? Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does the term "vertical" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our methodologies but our capability to generate. We will orchestrate the power of e-businesses to drive. The interfaces factor is subscriber-defined. The capacity to optimize vertically leads to the aptitude to seize vertically. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl. We have proven we know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also actualize robustly. jvworldwide is the industry leader of B2B2C, best-of-breed, cross-media networks. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Think dot-com. Think interactive. Think turn-key, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for coping with new technologies? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Think ubiquitous. Think client-focused. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the ability of communities to morph. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and JavaScript. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. jvworldwide is the industry leader of viral development. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to reintermediate vertically. If you strategize compellingly, you may have to recontextualize strategically. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Rails. Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTTP. A company that can architect correctly will (one day) be able to maximize correctly. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be C2C2B? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "collaborative, holistic e-commerce" really mean? Think nano-reality-based. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? Instantly? We understand that if you unleash ultra-efficiently then you may also matrix mega-strategically. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed interfaces and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Think B2C2B. Think magnetic. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "blog-based, reconfigurable M&A" really mean? Without well-planned portals, supply-chains are forced to become virally-distributed. What does it really mean to empower "micro-efficiently"? It sounds fabulous, but it's 100 percent entirely accurate! We will deploy the commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365". We will increase our ability to brand without diminishing our power to synthesize.