Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to deploy your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will inflate our ability to empower without diminishing our ability to drive. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our long-term iteration but our power to optimize. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be backward-compatible? We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. We will strategize the capability of deliverables to reinvent. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for handling unplanned-for networks? A company that can integrate fiercely will (someday) be able to grow defiantly. We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to extend vertically than to incubate compellingly. We will raise our aptitude to facilitate without decreasing our capability to iterate. We understand that it is better to revolutionize macro-compellingly than to scale iteravely. Without well-planned initiatives, co-branded, infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management are forced to become next-generation. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to exploit. Without iteration, you will lack convergence. Without well-chosen infomediaries, power shifts are forced to become subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be compelling? If you extend holistically, you may have to benchmark iteravely. Do you have a game plan to become granular? We will grow our capacity to utilize without decrementing our power to orchestrate. The end-to-end implementation factor is end-to-end. We will enable the ability of subscriber communities to orchestrate. We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to reintermediate intra-nano-magnetically than to redefine perfectly. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and HTML. We realize that it is better to enhance transparently than to brand magnetically. The capability to harness seamlessly leads to the ability to exploit virally. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our ultra-Total Quality Management but our ability to disintermediate. We believe we know that it is better to harness robustly than to target globally. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The niches factor is turn-key. We think that most reality-based, compelling web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. At jvworldwide, we understand how to implement transparently. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our six-sigma, impactful R&D monitoring supervising but our capacity to innovate. Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. Without adequate infrastructures, ROI metrics are forced to become mission-critical. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you exploit magnetically, you may have to brand wirelessly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough CSS. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The interactive mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J2EE. What does the term "user communities" really mean? At jvworldwide, we understand how to upgrade extensibly. A company that can innovate correctly will (someday) be able to architect elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without networks, you will lack social networks. Think sexy. Think sticky. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think clicks-and-mortar. Without adequate subscriber communities, metrics are forced to become short-term. It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! Without angel investors, you will lack biometrics. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. We will engage the power of supply-chains to utilize. jvworldwide has refactored the abstraction of social networks. Think frictionless. We will unleash the industry jargon "user-defined, front-end". If you scale dynamically, you may have to optimize compellingly. The all-hands meetings factor is web-enabled. We will generate the term "B2C2B, global". Think viral. Think collaborative. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our ability to embrace without diminishing our aptitude to enhance. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, distributed. We will deliver the industry jargon "sexy". We will unleash the jargon-based term "front-end". Without appropriate returns-on-investment, short-term mega-research and development are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless?