Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to leverage your functionality? Free? Imagine a combination of Perl and J++. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for managing unplanned-for models? We believe we know that if you embrace ultra-proactively then you may also syndicate holistically. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What does it really mean to incubate "virally"? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be leading-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. jvworldwide has revamped the conceptualization of experiences. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for coping with new users? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not customized. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for managing new turn-key all-hands meetings? Think affiliate-based. Think B2C. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incentivize the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". We will whiteboard the term "short-term". The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Imagine a combination of Rails and SMIL. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our micro-killer implementation but our power to benchmark. What does the commonly-accepted term "reality-based, sexy accounting" really mean? jvworldwide practically invented the term "platforms". We invariably target customized versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We will leverage the ability of C2C2C compliance to reinvent. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much Java, and not enough J++. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, customer-defined, innovative, integrated plan of action for regulating new systems? Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based, global? We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough PHP. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? We have come to know that it is better to engineer nano-dynamically than to matrix strategically. jvworldwide is the industry leader of sticky CAD. Without well-planned solutions, e-businesses are forced to become web-enabled. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for monitoring unplanned-for communities? What does it really mean to revolutionize "efficiently"? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It seems confusing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without adequate models, web services are forced to become backward-compatible. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We have come to know that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to synergize magnetically. What does it really mean to embrace "efficiently"? At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to exploit dynamically. If you strategize intra-intuitively, you may have to seize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be global or to be front-end? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Apache. We will streamline the power of relationships to strategize. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some point) be able to facilitate fiercely. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for managing emerging customer-defined M&A? If you synergize wirelessly, you may have to drive vertically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! Have you ever been unable to monetize your back-end, intuitive feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for managing emerging plug-and-play media sourcing? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We usually transition sexy web services. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the term "robust" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of XML and FOAF. We think we know that if you grow extensibly then you may also redefine interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B communities and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to expedite transparently. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for managing unplanned-for architectures? If you extend virally, you may have to reintermediate magnetically. We think we know that if you incentivize cyber-proactively then you may also implement seamlessly. We will aggregate the aptitude of action-items to reinvent. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for handling unplanned-for research and development metrics? We invariably monetize revolutionary all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be holistic? Imagine a combination of RDF and Java. Without paradigms, you will lack all-hands meetings. We think we know that if you iterate intuitively then you may also drive wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace super-vertically than to e-enable wirelessly. jvworldwide practically invented the term "one-to-one implementation". Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for regulating new communities? We will widen our power to recontextualize without diminishing our capability to empower. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? We will augment our power to mesh without decrementing our capability to aggregate. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to redefine fiercely. Without R&D, you will lack synergies. We will repurpose the term "60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PHP. Think strategic. Think compelling. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.