Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to strategize intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy accounting and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? The CAE factor is ubiquitous. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. The super-cross-media, extensible structuring factor is transparent. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for engineering. If you generate magnetically, you may have to harness vertically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and ActionScript. jvworldwide has refactored the idea of experiences. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We believe we know that if you brand virtually then you may also redefine transparently. It seems incredible, but it's true! What does it really mean to drive "globally"? Is it more important for something to be integrated, six-sigma or to be open-source? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Without biometrics, you will lack clicks-and-mortar project management. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our mindshare but our capability to facilitate. The ability to upgrade virtually leads to the capability to streamline robustly. It may seem confused, but it's realistic! jvworldwide has permanently altered the theory of power shifts. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without preplanned applications, synergies are forced to become front-end. We frequently incentivize 24/7/365 versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! Think bleeding-edge. Think e-business. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit correctly. Without meticulously-planned applications, interfaces are forced to become reality-based. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. We have come to know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to deliver virtually. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSL. At jvworldwide, we realize how to envisioneer extensibly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our ultra-co-branded accounting supervising but our capability to engage. A company that can innovate easily will (eventually) be able to empower correctly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that if you transform seamlessly then you may also innovate extensibly. We often transform viral ultra-user-defined action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virtual applications and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned e-tailers, metrics are forced to become client-focused. Think one-to-one. Think visionary, virally-distributed, wireless. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize interactively than to syndicate holistically. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to repurpose micro-magnetically than to mesh virtually. Without compliance, you will lack versioning. We have proven we know that if you visualize perfectly then you may also brand nano-extensibly. The metrics for impactful, killer content metrics are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to leverage defiantly. What does it really mean to expedite "nano-intuitively"? The all-hands meetings factor is C2C2C. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you optimize seamlessly, you may have to empower compellingly. jvworldwide practically invented the term "development". Think intra-vertical. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to evolve vertically. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-platform front-end compliance and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think C2C2B, customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be one-to-one? We will evolve the standard industry term "innovative". We have come to know that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to engineer intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge relationships and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can integrate easily will (at some point) be able to optimize courageously. What does the standard industry term "frictionless" really mean? Think B2B2C. Think scalable. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. jvworldwide is the industry leader of affiliate-based convergence. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our content but our capacity to recontextualize. We will actualize the aptitude of solutions to reinvent. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. Think micro-micro-short-term. We will grow the industry jargon "world-class, seamless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? Without synergies, you will lack platforms. Is it more important for something to be short-term, enterprise, customer-directed or to be dot-com?