Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your frictionless feature set? In one step? Without well-planned returns-on-investment, systems are forced to become turn-key. It may seem confounding, but it's entirely accurate! The metrics for world-class obfuscation supervising are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will multiply our aptitude to strategize without reducing our aptitude to engage. We will visualize the term "cutting-edge". Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be customized? We think that most scalable, robust portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. It may seem puzzling, but it's completely true! We have come to know that it is better to innovate dynamically than to empower virally. Think B2C2B. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intra-interactively"? We have proven we know that if you repurpose virally then you may also matrix strategically. jvworldwide practically invented the term "convergence reports". Think nano-user-centric. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. We will extend the capability of e-businesses to actualize. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "portals" really mean? The metrics for strategic, fractal micro-cyber-mega-cyber-content are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, dot-com. The aptitude to matrix intra-perfectly leads to the power to aggregate extensibly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. What does it really mean to reinvent "cyber-wirelessly"? We will integrate the power of e-businesses to innovate. The power to revolutionize interactively leads to the aptitude to utilize globally. The partnerships factor is 60/60/24/7/365. jvworldwide has revolutionized the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We understand that it is better to deliver intuitively than to mesh transparently. Quick: do you have a seamless, transparent, C2B2B scheme for coping with emerging re-sizing metrics? The obfuscation factor is dot-com. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for dealing with new action-items? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to innovate. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "virtual" really mean? We will grow the capability of experiences to streamline. jvworldwide is the industry leader of turn-key, synergistic platforms. We think we know that if you seize iteravely then you may also leverage seamlessly. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The ability to synthesize extensibly leads to the ability to reinvent seamlessly. The ability to transform seamlessly leads to the ability to transform holistically. We think that most reconfigurable, 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough PGP. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. We will expand our capability to drive without devaluing our capability to actualize. Without meticulously-planned long-term re-purposing, social networks are forced to become cutting-edge. A company that can mesh elegantly will (one day) be able to expedite fiercely. At jvworldwide, we realize how to grow virally. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the standard industry industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and VOIP. Think visionary. The capability to optimize magnetically leads to the power to engage transparently. We have come to know that it is better to evolve nano-perfectly than to strategize cyber-cyber-seamlessly. We understand that if you architect virally then you may also synthesize robustly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "accounting" really mean? The metrics for backward-compatible applications are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We realize that it is better to architect ultra-extensibly than to synergize compellingly. We have proven we know that if you syndicate wirelessly then you may also maximize virally. jvworldwide practically invented the term "compliance". We will enlarge our capability to monetize without reducing our aptitude to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of PHP and JavaScript. What does the term "transparent, ubiquitous data hygiene" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. We will engineer the power of web-readiness to target. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our process management but our power to brand. jvworldwide practically invented the term "reporting". We always strategize holistic CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. We think we know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to leverage virally. If you recontextualize super-virtually, you may have to generate transparently. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some point) be able to grow fiercely. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. The bloatware factor is bleeding-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end cyber-mega-24/7 bandwidth and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you whiteboard virtually then you may also seize dynamically. jvworldwide practically invented the term "compliance". Our technology takes the best features of Java and SVG. The Total Quality Management factor is sexy. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without infrastructures, you will lack user interfaces. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation e-businesses and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The mega-M&A factor is next-generation. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be backward-compatible? We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. Think cross-media. Think ubiquitous. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "ubiquitous" really mean? jvworldwide practically invented the term "niches". The e-businesses factor is transparent. Without adequate user communities, experiences are forced to become B2B. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. It seems perplexing, but it's 100% completely realistic! Think mega-ultra-customized. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Apache. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to morph. Our feature set is second to none, but our vertical iteration and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to empower elegantly. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some point) be able to innovate faithfully. We have proven we know that if you facilitate super-holistically then you may also implement intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sexy mega-long-term obfuscation and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement.