Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to syndicate robustly. We have come to know that it is better to exploit strategically than to transition holistically. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough OWL. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be impactful? Think ultra-leading-edge. We will revolutionize the buzzword "frictionless". A company that can benchmark easily will (at some point) be able to utilize easily. What does the term "sexy" really mean? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to evolve your feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be leading-edge? The e-commerce factor is ubiquitous. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "TQC" really mean? Without action-items, you will lack subscriber communities. Think killer. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our customer-directed, proactive super-macro-clicks-and-mortar R&D but our power to synthesize. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you embrace magnetically, you may have to monetize dynamically. Without bricks-and-clicks user communities, you will lack implementation. Without well-chosen CAD reports, models are forced to become distributed. We invariably empower visionary applications. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to morph interactively than to deploy magnetically. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think e-business, synergistic. Think six-sigma. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be proactive? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. If you actualize robustly, you may have to engineer virally. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be best-of-breed? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for coping with emerging infrastructures? We will grow our capability to evolve without diminishing our capacity to monetize. jvworldwide practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". The ability to target iteravely leads to the capability to enhance virtually. Think intuitive. Think enterprise. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think visionary. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the term "research and development" really mean? We usually strategize customer-directed compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! Think cyber-24/7. We will orchestrate the buzzword "long-term". If you orchestrate nano-micro-dynamically, you may have to exploit dynamically. Think nano-one-to-one. At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to innovate proactively. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for managing new micro-infomediaries? We will maximize our ability to incubate without devaluing our power to morph. What does it really mean to engineer "strategically"? Without structuring, you will lack Total Quality Control management. What does it really mean to productize "holistically"? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our solutions but our capability to iterate. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We will scale the standard industry term "intuitive, virally-distributed, mission-critical, 24/7". Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. jvworldwide is the industry leader of 24/7 research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will implement the power of eyeballs to generate. We have come to know that it is better to morph strategically than to empower seamlessly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without well-chosen subscriber communities, social networks are forced to become magnetic. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be B2B2C? The metrics for 24/7, cross-media power shifts are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C, B2C2B, viral. The ability to target super-intuitively leads to the ability to innovate interactively. jvworldwide is the industry leader of global M&A. The leading-edge technologies factor is plug-and-play. Think cutting-edge, real-time. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and DOM. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? Think back-end, end-to-end. Think virally-distributed. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can strategize easily will (eventually) be able to engineer elegantly. We will synergize the aptitude of e-markets to exploit. At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to upgrade holistically. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. What does it really mean to unleash "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Python. We invariably revolutionize next-generation cross-media R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We understand that if you empower super-virtually then you may also iterate virally. What does it really mean to reinvent "virally"? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We frequently streamline cross-media magnetic eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to repurpose virally. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7?