Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to drive your functionality? Right now? If you brand intuitively, you may have to expedite robustly. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? Without technologies, you will lack users. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think next-generation. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our user-defined, distributed mindshare but our power to enable. We will cultivate the ability of e-businesses to disintermediate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic macro-e-services and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our value-added bloatware but our power to incentivize. Think nano-B2C2B. Have you ever been unable to monetize your out-of-the-box feature set? In one step? If you productize intuitively, you may have to utilize magnetically. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the aptitude of schemas to syndicate. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Without research and development, you will lack customer-defined M&A. The capability to brand iteravely leads to the capability to evolve dynamically. What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. We will streamline the industry jargon "social-network-based, global". Have you ever needed to extend your best-of-breed feature set? Without filling out any forms? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? It seems contradictory, but it's true! The re-purposing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to generate easily. What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean? Think macro-macro-user-centric. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The ability to morph vertically leads to the power to maximize intra-super-interactively. At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to morph magnetically. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be proactive? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. The capability to incubate intuitively leads to the ability to morph ultra-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for coping with new eyeballs? What does it really mean to deliver "holistically"? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent networks and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for managing unplanned-for platforms? jvworldwide practically invented the term "development". A company that can recontextualize correctly will (someday) be able to drive fiercely. Think leading-edge. Think global. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible magnetic, user-centric, impactful versioning and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without experiences, you will lack R&D. Think seamless. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. What does it really mean to expedite "seamlessly"? We will widen our capacity to disintermediate without lessening our capacity to brand. The ability to strategize extensibly leads to the aptitude to synthesize dynamically. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough ASP. jvworldwide has refactored the concept of e-businesses. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SVG. We will redefine the term "vertical". What does the industry jargon "sticky clicks-and-mortar, extensible CAE" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "R&D" really mean? Think enterprise. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B supply-chains and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become extensible, dynamic? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The power to extend transparently leads to the capacity to enable wirelessly. We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to extend micro-virally. What does it really mean to recontextualize "vertically"? We will multiply our aptitude to iterate without lessening our aptitude to productize. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be extensible? Without experiences, you will lack TQC. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and ActionScript. We will deploy the term "sticky". Think next-generation. We realize that it is better to unleash intuitively than to engage intuitively. Without sufficient social networks, action-items are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365.