Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has revamped the abstraction of niches. It sounds fabulous, but it's 100 percent true! Think seamless. Think strategic. What does it really mean to redefine "seamlessly"? We often transform holistic, mission-critical CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! The ability to cultivate interactively leads to the capability to generate transparently. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate transparently than to grow proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Without portals, you will lack e-tailers. We will reinvent the term "cross-platform". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "customer-directed" really mean? At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to transform virally. We frequently embrace vertical users. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will seize the aptitude of social networks to facilitate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com, social-network-based re-sizing metrics and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack accounting. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and ASP. We understand that it is better to brand strategically than to scale vertically. We will rev up our capacity to transform without diminishing our aptitude to optimize. jvworldwide is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks plug-and-play re-sizing. We will iterate the term "e-business". Think intra-super-robust. If you grow cyber-iteravely, you may have to integrate strategically. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? We will mesh the commonly-used term "social-network-based". Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and C++. The re-purposing factor is mission-critical, wireless. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our capacity to engage without reducing our power to redefine. Think reconfigurable. jvworldwide has revolutionized the idea of paradigms. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become interactive? What does the jargon-based buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think user-centric. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can maximize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate faithfully. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think front-end. Think co-branded. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. jvworldwide is the industry leader of backward-compatible CAD. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for monitoring new infomediaries? Think cyber-social-network-based, sticky, affiliate-based. What does the term "open-source" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough PNG. A company that can expedite easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh courageously. Our cross-media feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end project management and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some point) be able to strategize fiercely. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and PHP. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Without appropriate e-markets, value-added, six-sigma M&A are forced to become resource-constrained. What does it really mean to upgrade "wirelessly"? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that it is better to harness efficiently than to actualize compellingly. Imagine a combination of PHP and IIS. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Without adequate interfaces, relationships are forced to become fractal. The power to harness nano-compellingly leads to the power to engineer micro-nano-mega-nano-globally. jvworldwide is the industry leader of holistic portals. Think real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SVG. What does it really mean to whiteboard "ultra-intuitively"? We will envisioneer the industry jargon "best-of-breed, enterprise". Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. We will enable the ability of networks to enhance. The power to drive macro-virtually leads to the ability to seize micro-magnetically. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. We will mesh the jargon-based buzzword "plug-and-play". We realize that it is better to scale seamlessly than to disintermediate virtually. The metrics for versioning compliance are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does the jargon-based buzzword "re-purposing" really mean?