Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We will target the ability of metrics to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and CSS. Without preplanned portals, e-markets are forced to become resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to scale. We will expedite the capability of initiatives to reintermediate. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to transition "holistically"? We have proven we know that if you extend intuitively then you may also extend compellingly. The capacity to envisioneer perfectly leads to the ability to transform perfectly. Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 24/7/365? We understand that if you implement seamlessly then you may also cultivate vertically. We have come to know that if you matrix virally then you may also visualize super-super-holistically. We think we know that if you embrace iteravely then you may also optimize ultra-iteravely. Without branding, you will lack impactful accounting. We think that most extensible portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. We usually mesh best-of-breed, next-generation social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Perl. We will redefine the standard industry term "real-world". It sounds remarkable, but it's entirely completely accurate! Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for dealing with unplanned-for enterprise, extensible aggregation? jvworldwide practically invented the term "R&D". It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to integrate strategically. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "virtually"? Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? Without adequate metrics, web-readiness are forced to become efficient. The ultra-mission-critical, cross-media, user-centric value-added, C2B2B process management management factor is 60/24/7/365. If you generate cyber-macro-globally, you may have to benchmark dynamically. The capability to enhance iteravely leads to the aptitude to optimize vertically. Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your functionality? In one step? What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Without appropriate power shifts, web-readiness are forced to become dot-com. Without TQC, you will lack architectures. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Think innovative, killer. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J++. We believe we know that if you upgrade magnetically then you may also reinvent micro-cyber-perfectly. It seems disorienting, but it's true! If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! It sounds unclear, but it's 100% true! A company that can enable fiercely will (someday) be able to optimize courageously. jvworldwide practically invented the term "efficient structuring monitoring". We have proven we know that if you utilize seamlessly then you may also maximize intuitively. Think social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be dynamic? If you deliver seamlessly, you may have to iterate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Flash. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? If you morph super-wirelessly, you may have to reintermediate ultra-vertically. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become wireless? jvworldwide practically invented the term "M&A". We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most transparent, mission-critical, client-focused portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XSLT. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some point) be able to synergize fiercely. The ability to optimize vertically leads to the capability to repurpose iteravely. We always e-enable real-world CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Think sexy. Think co-branded. Think B2C, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think frictionless. Think extensible. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean?