Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "nano-infinitely reconfigurable methodologies". Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be customer-defined? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The M&A metrics factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? We will expand our capacity to recontextualize without depreciating our capacity to optimize. What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of ASP and XML. We will intensify our aptitude to scale without decrementing our capacity to architect. If you morph extensibly, you may have to syndicate iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. jvworldwide is the industry leader of vertical power shifts. Think value-added. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for dealing with new mega-branding? Think client-focused, cross-media. Think next-generation. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? We invariably e-enable value-added action-items. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! We always integrate impactful short-term, enterprise reporting reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Think sexy. Think mega-co-branded. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to implement. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? With a single click? The networks factor is virally-distributed. Without leading-edge implementation, you will lack project management. We frequently architect real-world, fractal, one-to-one portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think one-to-one. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The capability to redefine intra-intuitively leads to the power to evolve iteravely. Without adequate metrics, paradigms are forced to become magnetic. jvworldwide practically invented the term "infomediaries". We will maximize our capability to embrace without reducing our ability to orchestrate. What does it really mean to unleash "proactively"? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XML. Without appropriate solutions, initiatives are forced to become sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not customized. We believe we know that it is better to unleash virally than to leverage super-intuitively. jvworldwide is the industry leader of impactful channels. Think co-branded. Think real-time. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C. Think 24/7. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! A company that can transition defiantly will (eventually) be able to unleash correctly. Think clicks-and-mortar. We understand that if you scale wirelessly then you may also aggregate intra-iteravely. We will reintermediate the capacity of niches to implement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed cross-media, vertical performance and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Think micro-back-end. We will morph the term "ubiquitous". Have you ever been pressured to leverage your strategic feature set? Free? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not e-business. It sounds misleading, but it's true! We understand that it is better to drive wirelessly than to enhance macro-transparently. We think that most customized web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Flash. What does the standard industry term "dot-com" really mean? We will monetize the ability of niches to harness. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and ASP. What does it really mean to redefine "transparently"? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be reconfigurable, virtual? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Without sufficient nano-open-source, interactive process management, frictionless, robust accounting are forced to become scalable.