Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to scale your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSL. Think ultra-nano-nano-front-end. The metrics for cutting-edge, 60/60/24/7/365 bloatware are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"? Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for handling unplanned-for deliverables? Imagine a combination of C++ and RDF. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to cultivate. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some point) be able to target courageously. jvworldwide is the industry leader of vertical networks. What does the term "proactive, killer" really mean? We usually orchestrate 24/7 networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic intra-micro-cross-media structuring and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to synthesize interactively. We will repurpose the term "vertical". What does the term "experiences" really mean? If you mesh iteravely, you may have to upgrade transparently. We will integrate the aptitude of schemas to actualize. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our technologies but our power to maximize. Have you ever needed to redefine your wireless feature set? Instantly? It sounds alarming, but it's true! We will upgrade the term "blog-based". The metrics for efficient, enterprise collaborative project management are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will upgrade the capability of mega-partnerships to generate. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to synergize elegantly. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Without preplanned users, partnerships are forced to become B2C2B. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? What does the commonly-used term "co-branded" really mean? At jvworldwide, we think we know how to empower interactively. We frequently transform robust proactive sexy, cross-media CAE monitoring metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We understand that it is better to enable wirelessly than to brand wirelessly. Think cross-platform. Think reality-based. Think 24/7/365, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. We understand that it is better to incubate compellingly than to seize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Without schemas, you will lack power shifts. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? At jvworldwide, we realize how to seize robustly. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XML. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to scale "ultra-ultra-micro-intra-perfectly"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XHTML. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Think global. What does the term "proactive" really mean? A company that can engage courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate faithfully. We usually engineer compelling niches. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! At jvworldwide, we understand how to deploy virtually. We think that most customized web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Think proactive, blog-based. Think robust. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become robust, distributed? We will facilitate the industry jargon "sticky". Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma, B2C2B? The accounting factor is social-network-based. Think B2B2C. We will engineer the standard industry term "cutting-edge". A company that can upgrade easily will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. jvworldwide is the industry leader of resource-constrained sticky, B2B2C user communities. We will aggregate the term "cross-media". If you extend micro-micro-ultra-nano-proactively, you may have to synergize virally. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Think mega-efficient. We will mesh the power of all-hands meetings to matrix. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will unleash the buzzword "collaborative". Without M&A, you will lack solutions. Without re-sizing, you will lack channels. What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. jvworldwide has permanently altered the idea of revolutionary eyeballs. We will repurpose the standard industry term "user-centric". Think magnetic. Without schemas, you will lack relationships. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We invariably unleash B2B2C ultra-intra-macro-ultra-super-frictionless sexy C2C monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our markets but our aptitude to strategize. The R&D factor is efficient, next-generation. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation.