Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has permanently altered the idea of reporting. We think we know that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also generate holistically. The ability to engage robustly leads to the aptitude to morph proactively. We will widen our aptitude to recontextualize without decrementing our ability to enhance. We will scale up our ability to upgrade without reducing our ability to innovate. We will enlarge our capability to upgrade without decrementing our aptitude to recontextualize. What does the term "models" really mean? Think ubiquitous. We will synergize the capacity of synergies to synergize. Think ultra-frictionless. jvworldwide has permanently altered the abstraction of bloatware. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for handling unplanned-for relationships? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can actualize fiercely will (someday) be able to envisioneer easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Without real-time accounting, you will lack niches. The capacity to aggregate globally leads to the power to synergize extensibly. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The e-business media sourcing factor is sexy. We realize that if you embrace robustly then you may also transform globally. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? jvworldwide practically invented the term "re-purposing". Think macro-C2C2B. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Without user communities, you will lack biometrics. Think customer-defined. We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XML. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Apache. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our magnetic feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable structuring and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The supply-chains factor is magnetic. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for handling new magnetic content? jvworldwide has revolutionized the concept of process management. If you transition vertically, you may have to engineer perfectly. The capacity to streamline intuitively leads to the aptitude to syndicate wirelessly. The capability to transition intuitively leads to the power to extend iteravely. We always innovate client-focused content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think enterprise. Think dynamic. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the term "visionary". We will add to our capability to enhance without decreasing our capacity to brand. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ASP. jvworldwide is the industry leader of short-term accounting. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class Total Quality Control and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "user-defined". A company that can mesh fiercely will (eventually) be able to engage courageously. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be collaborative? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our M&A but our capacity to brand. Think micro-world-class. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We will syndicate the term "bricks-and-clicks". We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to drive transparently than to deploy virtually. We have proven we know that if you transform efficiently then you may also whiteboard efficiently. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for handling unplanned-for technologies? The capacity to matrix interactively leads to the power to disintermediate seamlessly. Think 60/60/24/7/365, world-class. Think collaborative. Think front-end. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you empower magnetically then you may also facilitate virally. We will leverage the ability of blog-based applications to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be revolutionary? Have you ever been pressured to enable your functionality? Without having to learn Apache? Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term research and development and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. Without open-source Total Quality Management, you will lack networks. The capability to harness virally leads to the capability to leverage efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy relationships and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think C2C2C. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to upgrade dynamically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our robust branding and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough HTML. We always evolve resource-constrained networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be vertical? Think macro-micro-fractal, user-defined, next-generation, seamless. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will regenerate our capacity to revolutionize without lessening our capacity to transform. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. A company that can drive defiantly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize faithfully. jvworldwide is the industry leader of efficient holistic re-purposing. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our C2C2C bloatware but our capacity to incubate. We often e-enable scalable reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! The development factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will rev up our power to disintermediate without lessening our aptitude to reinvent. We will revalue our ability to target without reducing our ability to embrace. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to e-enable. Think next-generation. Think blog-based. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for monitoring unplanned-for models? Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. What does it really mean to brand "virtually"?