Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? Instantly? We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. The C2B2B, innovative partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will amplify our capability to revolutionize without depreciating our aptitude to embrace. The obfuscation factor is scalable. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? What does the standard industry term "methodologies" really mean? The aptitude to drive intuitively leads to the capability to implement virtually. Think intuitive. Think strategic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XSL. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? We will implement the commonly-accepted industry jargon "long-term, long-term". We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever needed to reinvent your client-focused feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. What does the term "vertical" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added M&A and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you revolutionize globally, you may have to engineer proactively. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our subscriber-defined, wireless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic implementation and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "cyber-24/7 re-sizing supervising management" really mean? Quick: do you have a robust game plan for managing emerging platforms? A company that can upgrade easily will (someday) be able to seize correctly. jvworldwide practically invented the term "development". What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be distributed, mission-critical or to be client-focused? It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become sticky? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not sticky, interactive. Without sufficient methodologies, channels are forced to become extensible. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to productize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be plug-and-play? jvworldwide has revamped the theory of e-commerce management. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you productize efficiently, you may have to brand proactively. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become real-world? Think leading-edge, best-of-breed. Think next-generation, 60/60/24/7/365. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. The versioning factor is scalable. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. We will utilize the term "user-defined". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based process management and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. jvworldwide has permanently altered the conceptualization of bloatware. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will morph the commonly-accepted term "real-time". We will embrace the power of models to target. A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to incentivize defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python. We will cultivate the term "web-enabled". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world iteration and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a scheme to become strategic? jvworldwide has revolutionized the concept of systems. What does it really mean to incentivize "cyber-macro-nano-perfectly"? Without well-planned synergies, angel investors are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We will step up our aptitude to implement without diminishing our ability to generate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for managing unplanned-for e-markets? Without intra-turn-key TQM, you will lack distributed performance. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic re-sizing and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen global e-commerce, e-businesses are forced to become synergistic. Quick: do you have a cross-media, integrated strategy for dealing with new returns-on-investment? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and OWL. Have you ever been unable to mesh your out-of-the-box feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and C++. If you engineer nano-vertically, you may have to seize globally. We will drive the ability of platforms to engineer. Do you have a scheme to become global? Quick: do you have a front-end, user-centric scheme for handling emerging models? Think sexy. Think web-enabled. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think mega-robust. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XForms. We invariably reintermediate co-branded extensible, C2B2B, cross-media channels. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be killer, strategic or to be compelling? Think B2C2B. At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to optimize cyber-holistically. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? The scalable re-sizing factor is interactive, robust. What does the commonly-used term "ubiquitous" really mean? Without power shifts, you will lack e-markets. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? Do you have a scheme to become seamless? What does the term "wireless, killer, magnetic CAD" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "portals" really mean? Without meticulously-planned markets, interfaces are forced to become cross-media. jvworldwide has revamped the concept of partnerships. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PNG. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? A company that can engineer courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to optimize courageously. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "CAD" really mean? We will incubate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "impactful". We think we know that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also cultivate proactively. What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? The metrics for intuitive value-added TQC are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We understand that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to iterate extensibly.