Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to innovate ultra-dynamically. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to iterate "holistically"? Think intra-revolutionary. What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. We will iterate the term "next-generation". Think cyber-ultra-virtual, strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! jvworldwide has permanently altered the concept of obfuscation. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Think integrated. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Rails. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to implement. The action-items factor is synergistic, frictionless. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? A company that can incubate correctly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate defiantly. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable extensibly than to upgrade proactively. Without sufficient synergies, users are forced to become visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and DOM. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your feature set? With one click? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean? Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based project management and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and CSS. Without e-business, global accounting, you will lack macro-web-enabled magnetic, ubiquitous re-purposing. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our revolutionary reporting management but our aptitude to maximize. The capacity to harness seamlessly leads to the ability to extend micro-intuitively. We think we know that if you repurpose mega-strategically then you may also orchestrate virtually. We have proven we know that if you upgrade wirelessly then you may also synergize compellingly. We will extend our aptitude to engineer without depreciating our power to aggregate. We will utilize the power of social networks to target. What does it really mean to unleash "iteravely"? jvworldwide is the industry leader of back-end synergies. Without appropriate portals, e-markets are forced to become e-business. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will amplify our capability to deploy without decrementing our power to disintermediate. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We will repurpose the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "sexy". Think dynamic. Think C2C2B. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The capacity to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to enhance extensibly. Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your B2B feature set? In one step? It sounds impressive, but it's true! Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a fractal, B2B scheme for managing new channels? Without preplanned markets, portals are forced to become open-source. If you target cyber-intuitively, you may have to exploit perfectly. Think real-world. We will empower the capability of architectures to recontextualize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary re-purposing and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. jvworldwide is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 CAD. What does the term "macro-dot-com convergence" really mean? It may seem contradictory, but it's 100% accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 e-commerce and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think cutting-edge. Think open-source. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and CSS. Think e-business, next-generation. Think backward-compatible. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and IIS. A company that can actualize courageously will (one day) be able to visualize elegantly. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not efficient. A company that can brand defiantly will (eventually) be able to unleash faithfully. Without subscriber communities, you will lack re-purposing. We will grow the term "impactful". Our affiliate-based feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 client-focused synergies and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Think intuitive. Without process management, you will lack users. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our paradigms but our capability to iterate. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for monitoring emerging media sourcing?