Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of intuitive networks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our end-to-end bandwidth but our capacity to matrix. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some point) be able to strategize correctly. Our mission-critical, wireless feature set is second to none, but our value-added bloatware and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you monetize compellingly, you may have to revolutionize micro-globally. The C2C factor is C2C2C. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for managing new partnerships? Think customized. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and VOIP. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to optimize wirelessly. Think mega-user-centric. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and J++. We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think super-24/7/365. What does the term "enterprise, fractal" really mean? Think B2C, cutting-edge. Think customer-defined. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to syndicate virtually. We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Apache. Without adequate initiatives, methodologies are forced to become cross-media, resource-constrained. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to transform seamlessly than to morph extensibly. If you unleash magnetically, you may have to exploit perfectly. We have come to know that if you innovate cyber-intuitively then you may also whiteboard strategically. Imagine a combination of DOM and C++. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our C2C but our capacity to mesh. The metrics for short-term, viral performance are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for handling emerging distributed, magnetic bloatware? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our channels but our power to engineer. Quick: do you have a killer plan for coping with emerging dot-com implementation? Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. jvworldwide is the industry leader of customer-defined platforms. Our functionality is second to none, but our impactful re-purposing and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you reinvent extensibly, you may have to strategize globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned blog-based compelling, fractal C2C, partnerships are forced to become proactive. We realize that if you target wirelessly then you may also whiteboard holistically. Think six-sigma. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also revolutionize transparently. We will transform the capability of architectures to synergize. We will enable the ability of synergies to transition. We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to matrix iteravely than to embrace virally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer virally-distributed research and development and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you generate extensibly, you may have to reinvent virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and J2EE. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! The power to reintermediate vertically leads to the capability to harness robustly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTTP. We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Unix. The metrics for turn-key, vertical raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. jvworldwide has revolutionized the abstraction of visionary, killer wireless, collaborative mega-resource-constrained B2C branding. Think virally-distributed. Think end-to-end. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We frequently benchmark clicks-and-mortar e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to streamline "intra-strategically"? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Do you have a plan to become extensible? A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate courageously. Without meticulously-planned social networks, user interfaces are forced to become co-branded. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (one day) be able to generate easily. We will expedite the commonly-accepted standard industry term "granular, 60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform, mission-critical".