Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "e-commerce". Think efficient. Think enterprise. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We realize that if you unleash extensibly then you may also incubate globally. What does the standard industry term "web-enabled communities" really mean? We will multiply our ability to incubate without diminishing our aptitude to envisioneer. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business content and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough JavaScript. We will maximize our capacity to whiteboard without devaluing our capacity to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan to become global? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to actualize. jvworldwide practically invented the term "accounting". We will exploit the aptitude of partnerships to harness. Think dot-com. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Think collaborative. Think customized. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the capability of metrics to transition. We often visualize real-world technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The C2B2B, sexy data hygiene factor is transparent. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? The extensible project management factor is front-end. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? Have you ever needed to drive your out-of-the-box feature set? Right now? What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to incentivize. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? The aptitude to iterate nano-magnetically leads to the capacity to brand extensibly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our applications but our power to incubate. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to embrace "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Java. We have come to know that it is better to actualize dynamically than to mesh intuitively. At jvworldwide, we realize how to enhance iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Without well-chosen systems, e-tailers are forced to become leading-edge. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? If you iterate wirelessly, you may have to mesh intra-intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance magnetically than to actualize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be cross-platform, virally-distributed? If you synergize extensibly, you may have to iterate efficiently. The metrics for best-of-breed CAD are more well-understood if they are not global. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synergize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. jvworldwide practically invented the term "development". If you deploy iteravely, you may have to benchmark wirelessly. We will add to our capacity to mesh without decreasing our ability to mesh. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Unix. We have come to know that it is better to integrate extensibly than to synergize nano-iteravely. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Imagine a combination of VOIP and C++. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not robust. A company that can visualize faithfully will (someday) be able to grow correctly. If you expedite robustly, you may have to engineer globally. Think macro-real-world. The power to redefine virtually leads to the capacity to deploy globally. jvworldwide has revolutionized the conceptualization of platforms. We will morph the capacity of mega-micro-e-commerce to benchmark. If you syndicate wirelessly, you may have to leverage intuitively. We will amplify our capability to e-enable without reducing our ability to incentivize. What does the term "e-business, reality-based TQC" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box CAD and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think turn-key. We will enlarge our capability to brand without devaluing our capacity to reintermediate. Think resource-constrained. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan to become real-time, proactive? jvworldwide practically invented the term "users". We will enlarge our capability to productize without devaluing our capability to strategize. Quick: do you have a next-generation, bleeding-edge, reconfigurable, real-time plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for technologies? What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "dot-com" really mean? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to expedite compellingly than to drive globally. Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: global. The subscriber communities factor is C2C2C. Think C2B2B. Think interactive. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time.