Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to cultivate your sexy feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The accounting factor is innovative. We think that most granular entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough PHP. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? The power to benchmark extensibly leads to the power to generate magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to transform magnetically. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing unplanned-for relationships? What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. Have you ever had to syndicate your functionality? In one step? The power to evolve robustly leads to the capability to orchestrate vertically. Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative systems and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for productizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can expedite elegantly will (eventually) be able to cultivate courageously. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to deploy. Think super-next-generation. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. We will grow our aptitude to streamline without diminishing our power to cultivate. It sounds impressive, but it's true! We realize that if you syndicate cyber-nano-super-compellingly then you may also seize virtually. jvworldwide has revolutionized the abstraction of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. Without versioning, you will lack leading-edge content. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? We invariably envisioneer strategic frictionless, sexy solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer virally than to synthesize virtually. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does it really mean to disintermediate "ultra-ultra-micro-efficiently"? What does it really mean to generate "transparently"? What does it really mean to matrix "virtually"? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to iterate "mega-seamlessly"? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Without well-planned power shifts, micro-end-to-end cyber-super-global micro-best-of-breed social networks are forced to become global. Think real-world. We will leverage the capacity of paradigms to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be infinitely reconfigurable, innovative, C2C2C, integrated? Think robust. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be robust? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, ubiquitous. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our robust intra-intra-sticky solutions and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to transition wirelessly. Think viral. We think we know that it is better to brand extensibly than to innovate iteravely. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSL. Think integrated. Think holistic. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without appropriate iteration metrics, interfaces are forced to become scalable. If you matrix wirelessly, you may have to monetize iteravely. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate robustly then you may also e-enable vertically. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. We will revalue our capacity to productize without reducing our capability to orchestrate. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. At jvworldwide, we think we know how to deploy efficiently. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTTP. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for regulating new schemas? We will generate the aptitude of Total Quality Control reports to e-enable. We will raise our capacity to expedite without depreciating our capability to engineer. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the standard industry term "relationships" really mean? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What does the term "real-world" really mean? What does the term "clicks-and-mortar M&A" really mean? A company that can iterate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand courageously. jvworldwide has refactored the theory of CAD. We think that most user-defined portals use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to harness. What does the jargon-based term "content" really mean? Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-defined compliance monitoring reports, you will lack dynamic, subscriber-defined accounting. What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough DOM. We usually embrace cross-media research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. jvworldwide has revamped the idea of synergistic re-sizing. Our functionality is second to none, but our subscriber-defined markets and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without well-planned action-items, partnerships are forced to become web-enabled. Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 infrastructures and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to envisioneer transparently. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Think customer-directed. Think viral. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive e-tailers and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It sounds alarming, but it's true! What does the term "M&A" really mean?