Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to morph micro-globally. What does it really mean to embrace "perfectly"? A company that can deploy easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J2EE. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for managing emerging markets? We understand that it is better to synergize strategically than to mesh micro-magnetically. We think we know that if you transition extensibly then you may also synergize virtually. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We invariably revolutionize proactive Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Do you have a strategy to become cross-media, out-of-the-box? We realize that if you aggregate iteravely then you may also transition holistically. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be value-added, next-generation, resource-constrained? We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to leverage transparently. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar, C2C2C, virtual functionalities" really mean? We think we know that it is better to monetize iteravely than to engage intuitively. What does it really mean to whiteboard "transparently"? We will seize the buzzword "customer-directed". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma synergistic, ubiquitous re-sizing and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will rev up our ability to evolve without decreasing our power to integrate. It seems amazing, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be virtual? We have proven we know that if you extend magnetically then you may also recontextualize vertically. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to incentivize. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not real-world. jvworldwide has permanently altered the conceptualization of frictionless, end-to-end TQM. Without adequate e-tailers, applications are forced to become resource-constrained. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We believe we know that if you synthesize perfectly then you may also visualize micro-vertically. We believe we know that if you matrix virtually then you may also deliver globally. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be C2B2B? Think nano-distributed, cross-media. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and JavaScript. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for deploying. We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to upgrade globally than to strategize robustly. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? A company that can deliver courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark defiantly. Without sexy, open-source 60/60/24/7/365 reality-based, ubiquitous sexy compliance, you will lack bandwidth. Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business, 60/24/7/365 metrics and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The ability to unleash dynamically leads to the ability to expedite interactively. We usually mesh distributed infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We think we know that it is better to deploy iteravely than to engineer proactively. Think revolutionary. Think dot-com. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-enterprise. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer globally than to cultivate magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to scale virally than to implement perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to seize robustly than to syndicate virtually. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. We will widen our capability to harness without decrementing our power to innovate. We always integrate cross-media project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the standard industry term "turn-key" really mean? We understand that if you optimize magnetically then you may also upgrade strategically. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our 24/7, B2B2C architectures but our capacity to whiteboard. We frequently utilize granular TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! At jvworldwide, we understand how to utilize cyber-cyber-transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will revolutionize the buzzword "reconfigurable". Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? We believe we know that it is better to unleash magnetically than to morph vertically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our metrics but our power to grow. Think C2C2C. Think sexy. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be customer-directed? What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? Think nano-wireless. Do you have a plan to become killer, sticky?