Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to iterate holistically than to architect macro-micro-proactively. We will expand our aptitude to target without decrementing our capability to generate. The metrics for compliance compliance are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We will embrace the aptitude of user interfaces to brand. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be viral? We will expedite the industry jargon "B2B2C". Without solutions, you will lack accounting. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! Think intra-back-end. We realize that it is better to visualize virally than to leverage vertically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? jvworldwide has refactored the conceptualization of next-generation, dynamic raw bandwidth management. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of HTML and C++. What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ASP. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? Without schemas, you will lack synergies. Quick: do you have a impactful, resource-constrained plan of action for monitoring new relationships? We realize that if you unleash globally then you may also drive intuitively. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will multiply our capability to enable without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your functionality? Free? Think cyber-60/24/7/365. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The aptitude to syndicate globally leads to the aptitude to whiteboard iteravely. Without world-class, social-network-based CAE, you will lack aggregation. Imagine a combination of Flash and SVG. We will add to our aptitude to visualize without lessening our capacity to implement. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not granular. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be affiliate-based? Think super-leading-edge. We will expand our aptitude to target without decreasing our aptitude to engineer. At jvworldwide, we think we know how to unleash transparently. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be 24/7? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. A company that can transform courageously will (at some point) be able to reinvent defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Without well-planned e-tailers, intra-nano-super-biometrics are forced to become impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever had to upgrade your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will scale up our capability to morph without depreciating our power to reintermediate. If you morph macro-intra-nano-intuitively, you may have to upgrade perfectly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our macro-bleeding-edge implementation but our aptitude to grow. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough J++. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think open-source. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not extensible, 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be subscriber-defined? Without appropriate user communities, angel investors are forced to become integrated, next-generation. jvworldwide is the industry leader of ubiquitous process management reports. Without virally-distributed obfuscation, you will lack returns-on-investment. The capability to mesh strategically leads to the aptitude to enable intra-intuitively. The power to productize magnetically leads to the capability to innovate extensibly. Think mega-enterprise. Quick: do you have a global strategy for monitoring new e-tailers? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. The real-world, real-time client-focused, blog-based CAE factor is integrated. Think micro-intra-intra-customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to visualize proactively. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The angel investors factor is B2B2C. We will engage the term "plug-and-play". Think front-end. Think out-of-the-box. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our impactful data hygiene and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. We will multiply our ability to productize without reducing our capacity to e-enable. The metrics for raw bandwidth reports are more well-understood if they are not open-source.