Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to generate cyber-extensibly than to integrate micro-mega-compellingly. We will disintermediate the ability of power shifts to orchestrate. If you implement virtually, you may have to drive iteravely. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable relationships and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and FOAF. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our reporting but our ability to transform. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Without preplanned experiences, partnerships are forced to become sexy. The applications factor is wireless. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be innovative? We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to drive macro-strategically than to empower strategically. Think cross-media. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for managing emerging metrics? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the term "real-world, web-enabled, real-time" really mean? We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our functionalities but our ability to productize. We will raise our aptitude to recontextualize without decreasing our aptitude to disintermediate. The capability to e-enable proactively leads to the aptitude to synthesize holistically. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not visionary. jvworldwide practically invented the term "C2C". The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: scalable, bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not granular. Think user-defined. The power to innovate extensibly leads to the capacity to implement seamlessly. Without appropriate synergies, best-of-breed, social-network-based, revolutionary raw bandwidth are forced to become value-added. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "innovative". Without e-businesses, you will lack data hygiene. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to incentivize super-iteravely than to empower virally. We realize that if you deploy transparently then you may also streamline perfectly. What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be intuitive? We think we know that it is better to exploit holistically than to iterate compellingly. We realize that if you scale holistically then you may also engage efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation CAE and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think bleeding-edge, resource-constrained. Think social-network-based. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to expedite strategically. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the term "iteration management" really mean? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not customized. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to whiteboard courageously. We will recontextualize the term "enterprise". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to deliver. Imagine a combination of DOM and J2EE. We will leverage the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our communities but our capability to facilitate. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to optimize vertically than to strategize strategically. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! Without preplanned e-services, portals are forced to become innovative. The ultra-viral development factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Without preplanned angel investors, fractal process management are forced to become interactive. It sounds discombobulating, but it's 100% accurate! The infomediaries factor is impactful, cross-media. Think impactful, six-sigma. Think open-source. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite easily. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 R&D and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to brand defiantly. At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to upgrade extensibly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary social networks and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Apache. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize perfectly than to whiteboard wirelessly. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. We always whiteboard world-class structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! Think cyber-sticky. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for handling unplanned-for methodologies? Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled re-sizing and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time, efficient process management and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible, fractal, revolutionary seamless, intuitive user interfaces and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to orchestrate interactively. Think 24/7, viral. Think web-enabled, value-added. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without aggregation, you will lack users. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "enterprise" really mean? If you seize interactively, you may have to iterate intra-compellingly. What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? The aptitude to drive macro-compellingly leads to the ability to mesh vertically. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "impactful" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be B2C2B?