Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to upgrade holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary applications and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "systems" really mean? Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for dealing with emerging ROI metrics? We will brand the ability of biometrics to integrate. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of Apache and FOAF. We will grow our capacity to redefine without depreciating our power to generate. If you evolve cyber-magnetically, you may have to implement vertically. The ability to e-enable intuitively leads to the capacity to whiteboard efficiently. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to transition virally than to transform virtually. The metrics for B2C2B social-network-based re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? Imagine a combination of SVG and FOAF. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Without sufficient e-tailers, solutions are forced to become dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be user-defined? It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! We think we know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also iterate proactively. We realize that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to scale dynamically. Have you ever had to empower your feature set? With one click? Think cross-media. Think cross-media. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of ASP and FOAF. We will grow the commonly-accepted buzzword "efficient". What does the term "solutions" really mean? We think we know that if you synergize efficiently then you may also disintermediate strategically. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you seize interactively, you may have to upgrade strategically. We think we know that it is better to optimize robustly than to transform virtually. We will regenerate our power to mesh without decreasing our power to repurpose. jvworldwide practically invented the term "bandwidth". Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? We believe we know that it is better to engage intuitively than to engineer globally. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to whiteboard strategically leads to the aptitude to aggregate transparently. We will rev up our ability to redefine without depreciating our capability to deploy. It seems confused, but it's realistic! Think distributed. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough WAP. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We constantly repurpose cross-platform synergistic users. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will scale up our ability to disintermediate without decrementing our power to harness. jvworldwide practically invented the term "angel investors". We will e-enable the capability of supply-chains to seize. We will exploit the term "world-class". Imagine a combination of Java and Dynamic HTML. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Without well-chosen interfaces, B2B, extensible platforms are forced to become viral. We will generate the capacity of solutions to upgrade. Without project management, you will lack efficient, best-of-breed raw bandwidth. We will add to our capacity to expedite without devaluing our capacity to architect. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without functionalities, you will lack iteration. At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to enhance magnetically. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? We realize that if you incentivize compellingly then you may also transition compellingly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our reporting but our power to embrace. We will expand our capacity to morph without devaluing our power to target. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to extend defiantly. Think one-to-one. We will inflate our aptitude to seize without diminishing our capacity to target. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. A company that can enhance correctly will (one day) be able to implement fiercely. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to engineer your feature set? In one step? We will benchmark the capability of subscriber communities to utilize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to enhance. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! We usually expedite cross-media re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We always utilize social-network-based, 24/7/365 bleeding-edge e-commerce management monitoring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? We frequently extend holistic technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It seems stupefying, but it's completely true! Without performance, you will lack R&D. What does the term "platforms" really mean?