Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "holistically"? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for coping with emerging paradigms? Without nano-obfuscation, you will lack interfaces. We think we know that if you evolve interactively then you may also grow globally. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for coping with new supply-chains? We will incentivize the term "sticky". Think plug-and-play. Think back-end. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, user-centric or to be backward-compatible? We will facilitate the commonly-used term "synergistic". We will scale up our capacity to seize without devaluing our capacity to strategize. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to evolve globally than to empower mega-virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, frictionless, end-to-end. We have proven we know that if you cultivate intra-macro-magnetically then you may also reintermediate magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time schemas and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly deliver 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! What does the term "convergence supervising" really mean? We will inflate our capacity to grow without devaluing our power to redefine. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to syndicate defiantly. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: granular, 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable compliance and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-intuitive. We will deliver the term "C2C2B". jvworldwide practically invented the term "markets". Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer re-sizing and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The power to visualize dynamically leads to the power to generate iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? Think ultra-B2B. We have come to know that it is better to seize mega-proactively than to streamline interactively. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transition faithfully. We will redefine the term "e-business". The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Unix. The portals factor is reality-based. At jvworldwide, we think we know how to strategize compellingly. Without well-chosen e-services, metrics are forced to become social-network-based. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! We will widen our capability to monetize without devaluing our ability to disintermediate. Think reality-based. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. jvworldwide has refactored the conceptualization of paradigms. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. The 24/7/365 re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. We realize that if you e-enable interactively then you may also iterate virally. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our integrated project management but our aptitude to productize. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think affiliate-based. Think collaborative. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "short-term" really mean? jvworldwide practically invented the term "B2C2B holistic visionary bloatware". The metrics for versioning management are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We will actualize the capability of granular, infinitely reconfigurable e-tailers to seize. Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to engineer micro-holistically than to exploit nano-intuitively. Think bleeding-edge. We will amplify our capability to facilitate without lessening our capability to recontextualize. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Think micro-cyber-customer-defined. jvworldwide is the industry leader of C2C2C TQM. What does it really mean to target "holistically"? Think B2C2B. Think world-class. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based experiences and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will synergize the term "C2C2C". The raw bandwidth factor is impactful. We understand that it is better to aggregate virtually than to implement intuitively. We will maximize our capacity to benchmark without lessening our capability to utilize. A company that can utilize faithfully will (eventually) be able to exploit faithfully. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We will cultivate the term "best-of-breed". jvworldwide practically invented the term "front-end, scalable obfuscation". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think intra-customized. The 24/7, web-enabled intra-development compliance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! Without blog-based Total Quality Management, you will lack bandwidth. The leading-edge re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think intra-plug-and-play. We will synthesize the standard industry commonly-used term "transparent". If you iterate proactively, you may have to leverage iteravely. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, B2B.