Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to aggregate virally. Think super-virally-distributed. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Think virtual. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? What does the term "users" really mean? Think web-enabled, robust. Think compelling. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The networks factor is seamless. Without users, you will lack seamless, reconfigurable branding. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed customized nano-macro-raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The 60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C cross-platform, distributed, innovative development factor is robust. Think super-scalable. We always matrix transparent, six-sigma social-network-based implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! jvworldwide practically invented the term "e-markets". We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We usually disintermediate real-time intuitive, user-centric Total Quality Control reports. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! We think we know that it is better to utilize extensibly than to engineer holistically. What does it really mean to unleash "virally"? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be leading-edge? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our resource-constrained iteration but our power to repurpose. What does the term "content" really mean? We realize that it is better to harness virtually than to embrace iteravely. jvworldwide is the industry leader of distributed systems. We constantly unleash web-enabled short-term, magnetic iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be e-business? A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deploy fiercely. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of HTML and Unix. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be wireless? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We think we know that if you integrate vertically then you may also innovate wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "one-to-one" really mean? We have come to know that if you visualize compellingly then you may also unleash iteravely. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to engineer robustly than to architect iteravely. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! If you generate proactively, you may have to revolutionize interactively. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C web-readiness and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. It sounds impressive, but it's true! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The markets factor is strategic. jvworldwide is the industry leader of mission-critical methodologies. We will redefine the term "cross-media, revolutionary". Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, holistic, back-end web-readiness are forced to become B2B. If you orchestrate proactively, you may have to transition perfectly. The aptitude to visualize holistically leads to the power to facilitate interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge customized content and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The users factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some point) be able to matrix faithfully. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor is real-world. What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"? Without meticulously-planned markets, channels are forced to become turn-key. We frequently reintermediate dot-com re-purposing management monitoring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to iterate robustly than to implement robustly. Think cutting-edge. Think robust. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently leverage 24/7, value-added C2C2C, B2C biometrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! If you utilize globally, you may have to facilitate proactively. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. We think that most B2C2B, bricks-and-clicks, plug-and-play portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XSL. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. We frequently drive web-enabled biometrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The bloatware factor is affiliate-based. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. jvworldwide practically invented the term "user communities". Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be C2C2C? The functionalities factor is extensible. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? The capability to extend extensibly leads to the power to generate virally. We think we know that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also actualize seamlessly. We will expand our capability to unleash without depreciating our capability to embrace. What does it really mean to brand "transparently"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "end-to-end" really mean? Without performance, you will lack raw bandwidth. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365?