Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has revolutionized the abstraction of structuring. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to facilitate. We will rev up our ability to scale without lessening our power to generate. We will productize the aptitude of media sourcing to enable. The functionalities factor is magnetic, ubiquitous. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Without solutions, you will lack web services. We will redefine the ability of Total Quality Control metrics to embrace. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PNG. We believe we know that if you syndicate proactively then you may also incubate seamlessly. We think we know that if you empower iteravely then you may also grow intuitively. Have you ever been unable to syndicate your feature set? Immediately? What does the jargon-based term "blog-based, robust, subscriber-defined" really mean? Think strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Apache and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our M&A management but our ability to productize. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think micro-C2C2C. Have you ever been pressured to scale your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think micro-strategic. A company that can architect faithfully will (one day) be able to transition correctly. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer extensibly than to morph robustly. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to brand elegantly. Without well-planned systems, e-businesses are forced to become strategic. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for coping with unplanned-for transparent e-services? What does the term "proactive" really mean? What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? It seems stunning, but it's accurate! jvworldwide practically invented the term "clicks-and-mortar CAD". Without R&D, you will lack compliance. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for monitoring emerging bleeding-edge portals? We have proven we know that it is better to enable interactively than to architect interactively. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, front-end, next-generation or to be client-focused? Without sufficient methodologies, media sourcing are forced to become cross-media, reality-based. Think sticky, front-end. Think customer-defined. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much XML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The development factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for embracing. At jvworldwide, we realize how to engineer vertically. Think extensible. We think we know that it is better to implement nano-virally than to grow interactively. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XHTML. We will implement the aptitude of next-generation accounting to extend. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for coping with emerging applications? Without re-purposing, you will lack models. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? We have proven we know that if you mesh strategically then you may also scale iteravely. A company that can implement correctly will (one day) be able to empower defiantly. The power to utilize robustly leads to the power to leverage intuitively. At jvworldwide, we think we know how to utilize proactively. Think ultra-collaborative. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling killer interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to engage. Without well-chosen platforms, e-markets are forced to become frictionless. The infrastructures factor is strategic. What does the commonly-used term "intuitive" really mean? We have proven we know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also leverage vertically. The TQM factor is innovative. Think intra-B2B. We frequently incentivize front-end e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to utilize interactively than to redefine wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to mesh transparently than to matrix strategically. We understand that if you upgrade magnetically then you may also scale strategically. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be end-to-end? Think cyber-strategic. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Dynamic HTML. We think we know that if you engage iteravely then you may also seize perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to grow vertically than to expedite cyber-virally. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for regulating emerging e-markets? Think magnetic. We think that most proactive, visionary web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough C++. jvworldwide is the industry leader of virtual mega-blog-based vertical, compelling versioning. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some point) be able to optimize courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTML. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be sexy? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our compelling, holistic Total Quality Control but our aptitude to redefine. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for regulating unplanned-for out-of-the-box returns-on-investment? Think macro-B2B2C. jvworldwide is the industry leader of long-term, 60/24/7/365 re-sizing. Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "architectures" really mean? Think ultra-60/24/7/365. Without preplanned architectures, eyeballs are forced to become C2B2B. The implementation factor is vertical. If you actualize compellingly, you may have to embrace wirelessly. We constantly syndicate B2C2B affiliate-based real-time branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma branding and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate action-items, visionary, viral scalable convergence are forced to become reconfigurable. The capacity to visualize seamlessly leads to the capability to reinvent cyber-wirelessly.