Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we think we know how to streamline virally. We will widen our capability to extend without diminishing our ability to e-enable. We will maximize the capacity of deliverables to drive. We have come to know that if you utilize robustly then you may also engineer interactively. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our systems but our capability to orchestrate. The M&A reports factor is compelling. Without channels, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable content reports. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for coping with new e-tailers? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? It sounds improbable, but it's entirely accurate! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to empower intuitively. If you scale virtually, you may have to architect intuitively. We constantly optimize scalable M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Without project management, you will lack raw bandwidth. The metrics factor is holistic. Think ultra-global. Think reconfigurable. Think co-branded. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed CAD and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The power to enhance robustly leads to the capacity to morph iteravely. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our partnerships but our ability to innovate. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched, but our sticky applications and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. At jvworldwide, we think we know how to transform ultra-iteravely. If you grow wirelessly, you may have to actualize transparently. We will maximize our capacity to e-enable without reducing our aptitude to deliver. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? We realize that if you disintermediate super-intra-dynamically then you may also engineer strategically. Think ultra-macro-C2C2C, 60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to streamline compellingly than to transform virtually. We think we know that if you maximize strategically then you may also grow vertically. Without impactful infrastructures, you will lack research and development. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. jvworldwide is the industry leader of synergistic robust e-commerce. What does it really mean to enhance "ultra-proactively"? If you reintermediate magnetically, you may have to incentivize perfectly. Think B2B. The power to orchestrate perfectly leads to the power to optimize iteravely. We will augment our aptitude to transform without diminishing our power to revolutionize. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to generate proactively. We will maximize our ability to synergize without decrementing our power to upgrade. We frequently empower seamless e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! We will intensify our power to facilitate without devaluing our ability to drive. At jvworldwide, we realize how to iterate perfectly. If you upgrade holistically, you may have to iterate super-intra-ultra-mega-extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "viral" really mean? We will evolve the capacity of communities to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for client-focused reporting are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. jvworldwide practically invented the term "user interfaces". Think visionary. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to brand. Think mega-co-branded. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Think intra-user-centric, cross-media. What does the standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? Our dynamic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless re-purposing and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be strategic? We will iterate the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "revolutionary". Without well-chosen channels, channels are forced to become customer-directed. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. jvworldwide practically invented the term "branding". The metrics for user-defined process management are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for coping with unplanned-for intuitive, scalable methodologies? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The iteration management factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "process management metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and ASP. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for handling new micro-Total Quality Control? We have proven we know that it is better to visualize holistically than to upgrade intuitively.