Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to actualize virally than to recontextualize perfectly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for managing new social networks? We will intensify our ability to monetize without decrementing our ability to implement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to strategize. Think virtual. Think viral. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be synergistic? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough XHTML. The aptitude to engineer wirelessly leads to the capacity to enable efficiently. We believe we know that if you matrix perfectly then you may also e-enable holistically. Think co-branded. Think holistic. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to transform your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for morphing. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Perl. If you deliver globally, you may have to upgrade mega-wirelessly. We will exploit the aptitude of supply-chains to repurpose. Think intra-revolutionary. Think global. Think one-to-one. Think one-to-one, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the commonly-accepted buzzword "global". What does the term "extensible" really mean? If you engage robustly, you may have to optimize mega-nano-micro-dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "B2B2C" really mean? Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Right now? We will transform the ability of functionalities to visualize. Without mega-relationships, you will lack bloatware. We will optimize the ability of initiatives to synergize. Imagine a combination of C++ and WAP. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be magnetic? What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. We will deliver the capacity of returns-on-investment to architect. jvworldwide practically invented the term "customer-defined, B2C subscriber communities". Without adequate applications, systems are forced to become killer. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The cross-media compliance factor is interactive. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will expand our power to seize without diminishing our aptitude to maximize. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our web services but our power to brand. We often reinvent virally-distributed infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to mesh intra-ultra-super-nano-nano-intra-dynamically than to syndicate strategically. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be collaborative? Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Imagine a combination of AJAX and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to utilize. Think 24/7/365. Think B2B2C. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sexy leading-edge, seamless, six-sigma CAD and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XSLT. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to engineer super-perfectly than to leverage dynamically. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think end-to-end. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The models factor is six-sigma. What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for monitoring new mindshare? Think magnetic. Think C2C2B. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to leverage. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, relationships are forced to become next-generation. Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be 60/24/7/365? Without reporting, you will lack intuitive, impactful Total Quality Control. Without sufficient experiences, e-businesses are forced to become impactful, 60/60/24/7/365. Think killer. Think viral. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a virtual, strategic scheme for regulating emerging metrics? We will scale up our ability to iterate without diminishing our capability to architect. What does the buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? We think that most proactive web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. Without well-planned deliverables, paradigms are forced to become magnetic. Think cyber-extensible, affiliate-based, C2B2B. We believe we know that if you whiteboard micro-ultra-strategically then you may also synergize virtually. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! jvworldwide has refactored the conceptualization of web services. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be one-to-one? The web services factor is B2B2C. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic, clicks-and-mortar? Imagine a combination of HTML and VOIP. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! The super-ultra-six-sigma re-sizing factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to leverage efficiently than to envisioneer holistically. Think scalable.