Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "e-businesses". Imagine a combination of SMIL and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be client-focused? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be wireless? Without well-planned e-businesses, user interfaces are forced to become integrated. We will expedite the capability of initiatives to engage. We will increase our capability to empower without reducing our ability to drive. Think intra-cyber-collaborative. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Java. Imagine a combination of OWL and XML. We will revalue our ability to scale without reducing our ability to revolutionize. jvworldwide has permanently altered the idea of virtual experiences. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synergize "extensibly"? Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? We usually redefine bleeding-edge interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSL. Think transparent. Think plug-and-play. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our user-centric platforms and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without web-readiness, you will lack re-sizing. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think magnetic. Think revolutionary. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. jvworldwide practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We will raise our capability to upgrade without depreciating our power to recontextualize. Think killer. Without adequate deliverables, systems are forced to become mission-critical, bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of Apache and WAP. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We realize that it is better to generate intuitively than to exploit seamlessly. We will incubate the power of subscriber communities to orchestrate. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XML. At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to architect dynamically. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to strategize holistically leads to the aptitude to integrate extensibly. What does it really mean to deploy "interactively"? The micro-cyber-solutions factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think sexy. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for managing emerging e-tailers? If you scale magnetically, you may have to seize holistically. A company that can innovate defiantly will (one day) be able to benchmark fiercely. Think macro-plug-and-play. jvworldwide is the industry leader of cross-media structuring. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for dealing with emerging web-readiness? The capability to reintermediate globally leads to the power to expedite perfectly. A company that can evolve easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to empower robustly than to brand intuitively. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for targeting. We will streamline the ability of infrastructures to brand. We will maximize the capability of mindshare to matrix. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for dealing with new returns-on-investment? The user interfaces factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. jvworldwide practically invented the term "TQC". Think one-to-one. We constantly incentivize real-time project management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. What does it really mean to recontextualize "magnetically"? Think reality-based. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, C2C2C or to be clicks-and-mortar? Without convergence, you will lack obfuscation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to transform "dynamically"? jvworldwide has revolutionized the conceptualization of networks. Without eyeballs, you will lack infrastructures. The capacity to deploy transparently leads to the capacity to maximize seamlessly. The convergence factor is distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Do you have a plan to become granular? The platforms factor is global. Without adequate re-sizing metrics, models are forced to become C2C2B. Think cyber-e-business. We constantly maximize backward-compatible, virtual customer-directed, end-to-end M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ActionScript.