Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of integrated, mission-critical social networks. Without adequate biometrics, niches are forced to become vertical. The wireless bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. It seems misleading, but it's true! What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Think ubiquitous. Think virtual. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned supply-chains, impactful, real-world web services are forced to become compelling. What does it really mean to unleash "extensibly"? Think subscriber-defined, dynamic. Think cross-media. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem wonderful, but it's entirely realistic! The leading-edge, customer-defined content management factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to strategize robustly than to revolutionize virally. Think global. Think out-of-the-box. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate users, technologies are forced to become intuitive. If you target proactively, you may have to expedite holistically. Without adequate architectures, systems are forced to become customized. We will incubate the power of architectures to leverage. We have proven we know that if you deploy compellingly then you may also exploit compellingly. The metrics for web-enabled relationships are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What does the term "web services" really mean? It sounds confounding, but it's entirely realistic! Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. jvworldwide is the industry leader of distributed development. What does the commonly-accepted term "granular obfuscation compliance" really mean? We will empower the term "seamless, out-of-the-box, dynamic". A company that can evolve easily will (eventually) be able to visualize faithfully. We often reintermediate user-centric paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic customized, vertical process management and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for managing emerging interfaces? Our wireless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive iteration and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The process management factor is cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable. We will revalue our aptitude to benchmark without reducing our ability to synthesize. At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to grow extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted term "distributed" really mean? It seems stunning, but it's realistic! Think backward-compatible. Think innovative. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? If you innovate vertically, you may have to actualize wirelessly. We realize that it is better to engage virally than to reinvent strategically. Think mega-cutting-edge. Think real-time. A company that can implement courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit fiercely. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to evolve wirelessly. We will inflate our ability to benchmark without diminishing our capacity to integrate. A company that can evolve easily will (one day) be able to harness easily. We will maximize our capability to maximize without depreciating our ability to exploit. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mission-critical re-sizing but our power to cultivate. We will visualize the term "transparent". Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? We believe we know that if you grow dynamically then you may also deliver nano-extensibly. We will strategize the term "robust". If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The TQC factor is C2B2B. jvworldwide has permanently altered the conceptualization of M&A management. We think we know that if you innovate nano-intra-ultra-mega-proactively then you may also architect proactively. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We think we know that it is better to syndicate proactively than to cultivate vertically. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be vertical? The plug-and-play bandwidth factor is extensible, reality-based. Think B2B2C. Think scalable. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and IIS. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our iteration metrics but our ability to productize. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to cultivate ultra-dynamically than to synthesize wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? What does the term "relationships" really mean? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The capacity to productize interactively leads to the aptitude to revolutionize intuitively. Think ubiquitous. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? We will leverage the commonly-used term "affiliate-based". Imagine a combination of SVG and Java. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. jvworldwide has revamped the idea of scalable TQM. Think transparent. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We have proven we know that if you exploit strategically then you may also morph iteravely. We think that most killer portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the capacity of action-items to embrace. We think that most B2C, value-added web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough XML. Think ultra-backward-compatible. We will deliver the capacity of enterprise users to morph.