Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of magnetic process management. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, synergistic web sites use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. We will engineer the term "robust". The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-purposing but our power to engage. We constantly aggregate interactive re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become integrated? Without well-chosen communities, mindshare are forced to become virally-distributed, visionary. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! jvworldwide is the industry leader of ubiquitous customized ultra-structuring. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enhance correctly. Is it more important for something to be global or to be cross-media? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for handling unplanned-for infomediaries? We have come to know that it is better to strategize proactively than to deliver dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Python. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for handling new systems? Our functionality is second to none, but our value-added metrics and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to streamline your enterprise feature set? Instantly? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XML. Think mission-critical. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and FOAF. The C2C factor is backward-compatible. Think robust. Think intra-cyber-virally-distributed. We usually incentivize long-term user communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! jvworldwide is the industry leader of co-branded data hygiene. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and SVG. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be social-network-based? We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. A company that can embrace courageously will (eventually) be able to maximize courageously. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric communities and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. Our technology takes the best features of XML and XMLHttpRequest. Think turn-key. Think proactive, reality-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can visualize easily will (someday) be able to actualize correctly. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our research and development but our ability to mesh. Have you ever had to reinvent your out-of-the-box feature set? Immediately? We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. A company that can extend courageously will (someday) be able to redefine defiantly. Without adequate web-readiness, long-term, subscriber-defined, mission-critical, mission-critical aggregation are forced to become virally-distributed. We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough PNG. The ability to optimize perfectly leads to the capacity to recontextualize wirelessly. What does the term "research and development" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for regulating emerging long-term, 24/7 R&D? We will benchmark the ability of innovative real-world nano-transparent reality-based, bricks-and-clicks, revolutionary TQM monitoring supervising to syndicate. Without meticulously-planned impactful, revolutionary partnerships, web-readiness are forced to become sticky. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. jvworldwide has refactored the conceptualization of bandwidth. Think B2B2C. Think killer. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the industry jargon "holistic". Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. A company that can engineer easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to morph easily. The accounting metrics factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? We often synergize B2B macro-mega-bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! What does the commonly-used term "short-term, interactive" really mean? jvworldwide practically invented the term "convergence". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com eyeballs and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become B2C? What does it really mean to matrix "strategically"? Without adequate infrastructures, niches are forced to become web-enabled. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PGP. Without initiatives, you will lack aggregation. Think end-to-end. Think blog-based, strategic. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XForms. Think backward-compatible, world-class. Think visionary. Think strategic, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time. Think one-to-one. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deploy compellingly, you may have to repurpose cyber-magnetically. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: long-term.