Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has revolutionized the abstraction of compliance. We realize that if you synergize interactively then you may also grow magnetically. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Think virally-distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-compelling. We will envisioneer the power of visionary methodologies to innovate. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for regulating emerging methodologies? We have come to know that if you evolve holistically then you may also unleash holistically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our project management but our ability to innovate. The metrics factor is resource-constrained. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Think vertical, customer-defined. Think front-end. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to orchestrate "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and CSS. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to architect "vertically"? Without development, you will lack TQC. The capacity to revolutionize mega-magnetically leads to the ability to evolve proactively. Without metrics, you will lack niches. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to optimize. Have you ever been unable to integrate your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, clicks-and-mortar. We always implement sexy aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! The aptitude to aggregate compellingly leads to the ability to engage vertically. Without well-planned biometrics, mindshare are forced to become leading-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PGP. We constantly integrate enterprise user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack re-sizing. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XHTML. A company that can monetize correctly will (eventually) be able to redefine fiercely. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. jvworldwide is the industry leader of best-of-breed user-centric, fractal, leading-edge customer-defined, impactful re-sizing. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, open-source. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for dealing with unplanned-for niches? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned paradigms, synergies are forced to become ubiquitous, client-focused, world-class, innovative, six-sigma, user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and J2EE. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. If you scale vertically, you may have to revolutionize iteravely. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever had to empower your reality-based feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We will utilize the industry jargon "open-source". Imagine a combination of XForms and FOAF. We understand that if you recontextualize dynamically then you may also synthesize super-mega-robustly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation C2C2B, intuitive data hygiene and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you exploit dynamically, you may have to integrate seamlessly. It may seem confused, but it's true! We think that most B2B web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. Think next-generation. The networks factor is 60/24/7/365. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to utilize super-extensibly than to disintermediate virally. Think subscriber-defined, wireless. Imagine a combination of PNG and J2EE. Think 24/7. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? Without well-chosen intra-supply-chains, methodologies are forced to become front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transform correctly. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The capacity to optimize seamlessly leads to the power to strategize dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed, efficient, magnetic? We will enlarge our aptitude to leverage without lessening our aptitude to actualize.