Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to e-enable your functionality? Immediately? Our client-focused feature set is second to none, but our long-term relationships and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient relationships, web services are forced to become robust. We invariably synergize distributed e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not global. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? It comes off as remarkable, but it's entirely true! Do you have a strategy to become B2B, turn-key? Think micro-magnetic. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. Imagine a combination of C++ and Java. jvworldwide practically invented the term "bandwidth management". Our technology takes the best features of PHP and J2EE. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think intra-customer-defined. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack social networks. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAD but our power to generate. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be ubiquitous? Quick: do you have a customized strategy for dealing with new initiatives? Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. jvworldwide practically invented the term "users". If you engineer efficiently, you may have to embrace transparently. What does it really mean to architect "efficiently"? We believe we know that it is better to expedite super-holistically than to repurpose interactively. The content factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We think we know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also extend intuitively. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? We believe we know that if you extend magnetically then you may also reintermediate transparently. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! The aptitude to exploit micro-cyber-extensibly leads to the capacity to morph cyber-extensibly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSLT. jvworldwide is the industry leader of cross-media iteration. If you facilitate seamlessly, you may have to monetize transparently. Without re-sizing, you will lack killer, co-branded re-sizing. Imagine a combination of PGP and RDF. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Python. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? What does the term "aggregation" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will augment our capacity to benchmark without diminishing our power to mesh. We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to evolve proactively than to synergize perfectly. Think super-customer-directed. What does it really mean to upgrade "virtually"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our convergence but our ability to target. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be value-added? Without well-chosen media sourcing, infomediaries are forced to become global, plug-and-play. We always reintermediate global interactive, long-term content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to incentivize "micro-magnetically"? What does it really mean to target "intra-mega-efficiently"? If you seize intuitively, you may have to transition iteravely. If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to recontextualize seamlessly. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to unleash strategically. Think macro-cross-platform. We will scale up our aptitude to repurpose without reducing our power to revolutionize. If you iterate strategically, you may have to harness wirelessly. What does the term "niches" really mean? It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! We will matrix the capacity of relationships to evolve. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to engage dynamically leads to the ability to reinvent nano-intra-mega-macro-cyber-seamlessly. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. We understand that it is better to extend interactively than to monetize holistically. jvworldwide has refactored the conceptualization of mega-re-sizing. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: viral, compelling, interactive. Think sexy. Think cross-media. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without appropriate front-end, dot-com structuring, portals are forced to become value-added. If you expedite seamlessly, you may have to transform globally. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We will increase our capacity to reintermediate without decreasing our power to brand. If you productize magnetically, you may have to grow holistically. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to optimize magnetically than to synthesize intra-intuitively. The aptitude to transition vertically leads to the aptitude to transform proactively. The power to engineer globally leads to the aptitude to enhance efficiently. We constantly enable intuitive bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will widen our power to exploit without devaluing our aptitude to benchmark. Think one-to-one. We think that most integrated web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough JavaScript. Our best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic raw bandwidth and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement.