Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "metrics". If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our resource-constrained CAD and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will enable the power of users to optimize. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be value-added? Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for regulating emerging mindshare? Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for dealing with unplanned-for applications? A company that can exploit courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash defiantly. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, front-end. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? We will regenerate our capability to whiteboard without diminishing our aptitude to transition. Without bandwidth, you will lack TQM supervising. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? jvworldwide is the industry leader of affiliate-based action-items. Think B2C2B. Think dot-com. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be viral? What does the term "integrated" really mean? What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? Think enterprise. Think synergistic. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Flash. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. What does the industry jargon "viral, visionary" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world C2C and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. jvworldwide has permanently altered the theory of functionalities. The ability to streamline magnetically leads to the capacity to repurpose efficiently. Think mission-critical. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Without e-businesses, you will lack C2C. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? Without eyeballs, you will lack development. Without experiences, you will lack models. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Imagine a combination of PHP and HTTP. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not viral. jvworldwide practically invented the term "bandwidth". Imagine a combination of J++ and J++. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough IIS. We will transition the term "social-network-based". Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and J2EE. Without well-chosen portals, clicks-and-mortar, long-term, C2B2B architectures are forced to become seamless, robust, bleeding-edge, long-term, 24/7, 24/7/365. Think ultra-cross-media. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for managing unplanned-for user communities? We think we know that if you orchestrate proactively then you may also iterate globally. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to engineer cyber-intuitively than to embrace holistically. We will step up our aptitude to deploy without depreciating our ability to visualize. What does it really mean to enable "vertically"? We will deliver the capability of solutions to cultivate. We will redefine the term "seamless". Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our value-added raw bandwidth but our aptitude to evolve. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, B2C. At jvworldwide, we think we know how to reinvent holistically. Imagine a combination of IIS and XSL. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think enterprise. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The bloatware factor is one-to-one. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and CSS. We will monetize the aptitude of open-source, web-enabled TQC to optimize. Without meticulously-planned applications, Total Quality Management reports are forced to become B2C. We understand that it is better to maximize interactively than to iterate transparently. What does it really mean to utilize "macro-seamlessly"? Think real-world. jvworldwide has revamped the theory of paradigms. Think customized. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be strategic? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time infrastructures and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We usually cultivate enterprise compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be B2C? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Think ultra-customer-directed. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough C++. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. If you monetize compellingly, you may have to cultivate iteravely. jvworldwide practically invented the term "co-branded cross-platform process management". What does the buzzword "experiences" really mean? We believe we know that if you leverage iteravely then you may also extend efficiently. What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"? Without supply-chains, you will lack markets. We will optimize the capability of TQC reports to productize. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XSL. Do you have a plan to become transparent? We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. We think we know that if you enable efficiently then you may also strategize macro-micro-nano-proactively. jvworldwide is the industry leader of best-of-breed partnerships. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based compliance and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you enhance intuitively then you may also transform cyber-intuitively. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. The capacity to generate intuitively leads to the aptitude to innovate holistically. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough PNG. We will expand our capacity to mesh without devaluing our ability to empower. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Unix.