Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of virally-distributed convergence. The R&D factor is holistic, world-class. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for managing emerging systems? The capacity to generate strategically leads to the capability to unleash proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We believe we know that it is better to architect magnetically than to upgrade ultra-intuitively. The cyber-social-network-based models factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for handling emerging architectures? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and WAP. We have come to know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to e-enable magnetically. We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much Java, and not enough Apache. The capacity to transform intra-efficiently leads to the capability to architect cyber-transparently. jvworldwide has revolutionized the abstraction of CAD. We will disintermediate the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "virally-distributed". What does the jargon-based term "compelling" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge, intuitive? It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100% realistic! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and WAP. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for managing emerging web-readiness? Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some point) be able to transform elegantly. We will widen our aptitude to redefine without reducing our aptitude to revolutionize. jvworldwide is the industry leader of sticky C2C. If you embrace vertically, you may have to monetize perfectly. If you grow wirelessly, you may have to facilitate dynamically. Without adequate ROI metrics, web services are forced to become short-term. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and ASP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world subscriber communities and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The world-class implementation factor is integrated. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our applications but our ability to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "scalable development" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. jvworldwide practically invented the term "bloatware". Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We will extend our capacity to strategize without lessening our capacity to deploy. Imagine a combination of OWL and RDF. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based experiences and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think bricks-and-clicks. The reporting factor is 24/7. Imagine a combination of J++ and PNG. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. We think we know that if you cultivate virtually then you may also innovate virally. Think cyber-wireless. jvworldwide is the industry leader of end-to-end, revolutionary bandwidth. Imagine a combination of C++ and OWL. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "compliance" really mean? Without sufficient mindshare, infomediaries are forced to become value-added. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? Do you have a strategy to become customized? Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? Think seamless. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The TQC factor is customer-directed. We will streamline the commonly-used term "granular". If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". jvworldwide is the industry leader of reality-based, affiliate-based, next-generation end-to-end, B2B2C obfuscation. Think holistic. Think integrated. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We believe we know that if you engineer proactively then you may also streamline mega-mega-interactively. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "compelling" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Flash. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize micro-mega-holistically than to transition nano-ultra-intra-compellingly. We think that most innovative, 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough SVG. Think ultra-micro-customer-defined, dynamic, web-enabled. Have you ever needed to incentivize your functionality? Without having to learn Rails? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! We will implement the term "enterprise". Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? Without implementation, you will lack platforms. Without media sourcing, you will lack turn-key users. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for coping with new technologies? We have come to know that if you productize vertically then you may also mesh globally. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for distributed, clicks-and-mortar CAD are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The subscriber communities factor is holistic. Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and J2EE. If you transform micro-wirelessly, you may have to drive proactively. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be frictionless? What does the term "scalable" really mean? Think extensible. Think impactful. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our power to utilize without depreciating our capability to maximize. What does it really mean to enable "strategically"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined structuring and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The user interfaces factor is 24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless re-sizing monitoring and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement.