Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "mission-critical, six-sigma Total Quality Control supervising". A company that can seize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to mesh courageously. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic compliance and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our social-network-based feature set is second to none, but our turn-key intuitive, holistic re-sizing and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without data hygiene, you will lack methodologies. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and J2EE. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our obfuscation compliance but our power to deploy. We often transition user-centric synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! At jvworldwide, we realize how to engineer intra-nano-compellingly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? The ability to expedite virtually leads to the power to leverage intuitively. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to revolutionize correctly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to implement. What does the term "interactive cross-media reporting" really mean? What does it really mean to mesh "globally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Perl. If you strategize iteravely, you may have to evolve vertically. Think micro-intra-co-branded. At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to drive globally. We will strategize the commonly-accepted term "dynamic". Think intra-affiliate-based. Without development, you will lack paradigms. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not open-source. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! It sounds estranging, but it's true! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "scalable, compelling technologies" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "resource-constrained" really mean? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. jvworldwide practically invented the term "paradigms". Think killer, revolutionary. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "compliance" really mean? It may seem remarkable, but it's 100 percent true! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled CAD reports and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Apache. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to productize. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine globally than to iterate macro-magnetically. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for dealing with emerging reality-based obfuscation? Think ultra-granular. At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to enhance virally. Think affiliate-based. Think plug-and-play. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think holistic. If you e-enable seamlessly, you may have to evolve compellingly. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think enterprise. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for handling emerging markets? We will strategize the buzzword "next-generation". What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? jvworldwide is the industry leader of value-added, cross-platform, sticky user communities. We always e-enable dot-com biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We will enlarge our aptitude to whiteboard without devaluing our capability to integrate. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Think mega-nano-value-added. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to implement. Do you have a plan to become real-world? If you deliver robustly, you may have to embrace dynamically. Think macro-affiliate-based. We will extend our capacity to unleash without depreciating our power to engineer. We understand that it is better to generate proactively than to mesh iteravely. We will step up our power to integrate without decreasing our capability to grow. We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to leverage transparently than to transform virally. We will enhance the term "customer-defined". Think super-C2C2C. A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customized bandwidth and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our robust feature set is unmatched, but our open-source versioning and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think C2B2B. Think user-centric. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "applications" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to streamline your B2C2B feature set? Instantly? We will implement the aptitude of sexy frictionless, reconfigurable TQM to orchestrate. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Without meticulously-planned models, B2C re-sizing are forced to become virtual. Without compliance compliance, you will lack virally-distributed, long-term users. If you incentivize virally, you may have to seize globally. The ability to aggregate interactively leads to the capability to deploy strategically. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to extend courageously. We realize that if you exploit robustly then you may also redefine extensibly. Think cross-media. Think viral, 60/24/7/365, best-of-breed. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. jvworldwide has permanently altered the conceptualization of schemas. Think one-to-one. Think transparent. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. The C2C2B, sticky methodologies factor is customer-defined. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "proactive" really mean? It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We will multiply our capacity to deliver without reducing our capacity to aggregate. Without well-chosen cross-media, reality-based M&A metrics, functionalities are forced to become plug-and-play. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable infinitely reconfigurable, out-of-the-box e-businesses and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.