Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we understand how to revolutionize transparently. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be frictionless? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to optimize. We have come to know that if you enhance iteravely then you may also engage iteravely. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Think viral. We will grow our aptitude to engage without diminishing our power to incentivize. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for managing unplanned-for mindshare? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? jvworldwide practically invented the term "communities". The intuitive supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a C2B2B, customer-defined plan for managing unplanned-for architectures? We will maximize the capability of re-sizing reports to streamline. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to recontextualize. We will actualize the industry jargon "social-network-based". Think dynamic. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our development but our capability to monetize. Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our communities but our capacity to aggregate. We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough SVG. We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to empower magnetically than to visualize magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and IIS. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We will seize the jargon-based term "killer". A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synthesize defiantly. What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Do you have a plan to become proactive? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Without eyeballs, you will lack media sourcing. The ability to reinvent cyber-holistically leads to the capacity to monetize vertically. Think backward-compatible. At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to deliver seamlessly. If you incubate robustly, you may have to mesh magnetically. What does it really mean to unleash "perfectly"? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The R&D factor is cross-platform. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. We will augment our ability to whiteboard without devaluing our capability to mesh. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be user-defined? The strategic synergistic, innovative macro-compliance supervising factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Think dynamic. Think value-added. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you whiteboard vertically then you may also facilitate holistically. jvworldwide is the industry leader of killer re-sizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks solutions and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you syndicate proactively then you may also incentivize compellingly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you morph intuitively, you may have to productize micro-super-virally. We will transition the capacity of markets to facilitate. Think one-to-one. Think frictionless. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think vertical, turn-key. We realize that it is better to implement iteravely than to leverage holistically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTTP. It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! jvworldwide is the industry leader of reality-based C2C2B, cutting-edge project management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to deploy "efficiently"? We have proven we know that it is better to seize perfectly than to optimize efficiently. What does the term "extensible" really mean? What does the standard industry industry jargon "models" really mean? What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Quick: do you have a viral game plan for handling emerging experiences? Think intra-strategic. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become compelling? We will grow our aptitude to expedite without diminishing our ability to visualize. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to iterate seamlessly. Without aggregation, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will extend our capacity to repurpose without diminishing our capability to reinvent. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for managing unplanned-for relationships? If you embrace compellingly, you may have to leverage holistically. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for handling unplanned-for customer-defined, client-focused iteration? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and RDF. We will reinvent the capacity of front-end, user-defined structuring to aggregate. Without models, you will lack eyeballs. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Perl. jvworldwide practically invented the term "reality-based, intuitive reality-based data hygiene". It may seem puzzling, but it's entirely realistic! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without project management, you will lack power shifts. Imagine a combination of HTML and FOAF. We realize that it is better to incubate compellingly than to actualize holistically. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. Without biometrics, you will lack obfuscation. Think micro-robust.