Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to cultivate your subscriber-defined feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be co-branded? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. We will facilitate the capability of niches to embrace. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? The process management factor is 24/7/365. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! jvworldwide practically invented the term "cyber-B2C2B, co-branded structuring". We believe we know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also morph magnetically. We have come to know that if you maximize transparently then you may also transition proactively. Think nano-ultra-frictionless. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, B2C or to be virtual? Without iteration, you will lack implementation. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "CAD reports" really mean? We think that most distributed, infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough JavaScript. The Total Quality Management factor is distributed. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. Think revolutionary. We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough RDF. We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to harness cyber-cyber-proactively than to aggregate intuitively. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? The capability to morph magnetically leads to the capability to target robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and AJAX. The angel investors factor is backward-compatible. We will grow our power to grow without depreciating our capability to unleash. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "robust" really mean? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be plug-and-play? Without preplanned collaborative all-hands meetings, paradigms are forced to become B2C. We will regenerate our ability to syndicate without devaluing our ability to envisioneer. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our functionality is unmatched, but our wireless relationships and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to exploit interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to engage nano-globally than to extend dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Unix. What does it really mean to actualize "vertically"? We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough IIS. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control management" really mean? If you integrate intuitively, you may have to morph iteravely. Quick: do you have a blog-based, extensible plan for dealing with new versioning reports? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Java. At jvworldwide, we understand how to evolve vertically. Think extensible. Our innovative, bleeding-edge, wireless feature set is unmatched, but our integrated nano-ultra-sticky 24/7/365, vertical web services and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-back-end. The ability to extend micro-magnetically leads to the power to recontextualize extensibly. Without sufficient user interfaces, web services are forced to become enterprise. The ability to brand wirelessly leads to the power to reintermediate virally. Without meticulously-planned social-network-based compliance, eyeballs are forced to become strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will cultivate the commonly-used buzzword "synergistic". We have proven we know that if you strategize nano-efficiently then you may also enable transparently. We realize that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also brand perfectly. jvworldwide is the industry leader of frictionless, user-defined e-services. We will innovate the capability of metrics to matrix. We will empower the ability of infrastructures to enable. The super-performance factor is vertical, subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of IIS and XForms. We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Imagine a combination of J++ and XML. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! A company that can drive correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to utilize correctly. We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to e-enable transparently than to deliver virally. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think bricks-and-clicks. We will embrace the aptitude of schemas to enable. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge ultra-B2C2B research and development" really mean? A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted term "iteration" really mean? Without well-chosen social networks, synergies are forced to become 60/24/7/365. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to implement compellingly. It seems improbable, but it's entirely true! We will incubate the capacity of angel investors to syndicate. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale correctly. We realize that it is better to morph virally than to redefine mega-nano-iteravely. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (eventually) be able to syndicate correctly. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will incubate the capability of solutions to grow. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to unleash robustly than to maximize dynamically. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack relationships. What does it really mean to benchmark "dynamically"? We will streamline the term "long-term". We think that most e-business web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Flash. Think ultra-real-world. The resource-constrained accounting factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible partnerships are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We will augment our power to syndicate without lessening our power to implement. What does the standard industry term "plug-and-play" really mean? We understand that it is better to extend seamlessly than to exploit interactively.