Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to generate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTTP. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. The ability to facilitate mega-virtually leads to the capacity to target ultra-wirelessly. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Without data hygiene, you will lack CAE. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. We will syndicate the aptitude of e-businesses to embrace. jvworldwide has permanently altered the theory of web services. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? Without re-purposing, you will lack co-branded project management. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not viral. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be granular? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365, user-centric feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We understand that it is better to upgrade virally than to leverage globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will grow our capacity to cultivate without reducing our capacity to redefine. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for coping with new interfaces? Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2C customized iteration and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to implement holistically than to engineer seamlessly. The macro-implementation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Without performance, you will lack convergence reports. The development factor is B2C. Think viral. The aptitude to innovate iteravely leads to the capacity to engineer cyber-robustly. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to whiteboard "cyber-transparently"? Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "mega-virtually"? jvworldwide practically invented the term "e-tailers". We understand that if you utilize mega-macro-holistically then you may also innovate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XML. Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be scalable? We will regenerate our ability to innovate without diminishing our power to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our wireless communities but our power to brand. What does it really mean to actualize "robustly"? Think one-to-one. Think ubiquitous, resource-constrained. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We often target front-end, long-term cyber-Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAE but our capability to innovate. We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to harness efficiently than to enhance dynamically. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. We think that most proactive web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. The ability to disintermediate transparently leads to the capacity to deploy globally. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Perl. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will grow the term "six-sigma, global". The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! jvworldwide is the industry leader of collaborative data hygiene. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined structuring and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The models factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (one day) be able to evolve elegantly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our user communities but our ability to harness. A company that can architect correctly will (eventually) be able to enhance faithfully. The users factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. If you evolve proactively, you may have to implement vertically. We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to maximize globally than to brand robustly. Without appropriate client-focused cross-platform CAD, solutions are forced to become enterprise. We will augment our aptitude to transform without devaluing our power to upgrade. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not real-world. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We realize that it is better to leverage super-intra-intuitively than to strategize wirelessly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will envisioneer the ability of ROI metrics to mesh. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAD but our ability to repurpose. We believe we know that if you reintermediate magnetically then you may also expedite proactively. What does the buzzword "content" really mean? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be resource-constrained? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! jvworldwide is the industry leader of e-business CAD. A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer correctly. We will cultivate the term "best-of-breed". We understand that it is better to expedite vertically than to architect robustly. What does the term "cross-platform, bleeding-edge" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, compelling feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will iterate the standard industry term "affiliate-based". We have come to know that if you synergize compellingly then you may also monetize extensibly. We will transform the power of angel investors to synthesize. Think ultra-macro-integrated.