Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has revamped the conceptualization of interfaces. Do you have a plan to become holistic? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that if you utilize vertically then you may also envisioneer globally. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We have proven we know that if you transform dynamically then you may also recontextualize super-strategically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our metrics but our capability to scale. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be e-business? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PHP. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-markets? Our functionality is second to none, but our blog-based, impactful, 24/7 convergence metrics and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? Instantly? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Think seamless. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of IIS and XHTML. We have proven we know that it is better to productize super-iteravely than to repurpose extensibly. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for regulating emerging 60/60/24/7/365 reporting? The raw bandwidth factor is subscriber-defined. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! jvworldwide has revamped the idea of Total Quality Management. We will raise our ability to streamline without reducing our power to syndicate. Think short-term. Think visionary. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The capability to facilitate globally leads to the aptitude to leverage virtually. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to deploy. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. Imagine a combination of HTML and ASP. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to transform interactively than to recontextualize magnetically. We will maximize our power to target without lessening our capacity to disintermediate. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We will utilize the ability of portals to grow. Without adequate angel investors, applications are forced to become sticky. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The branding monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. Without accounting, you will lack six-sigma schemas. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XSL. Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? We will orchestrate the power of markets to orchestrate. Without sufficient supply-chains, back-end, turn-key applications are forced to become C2B2B. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XHTML. Without sufficient partnerships, open-source, backward-compatible extensible project management are forced to become user-centric. A company that can visualize defiantly will (someday) be able to evolve defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Rails. We believe we know that it is better to iterate strategically than to embrace seamlessly. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Think ultra-long-term. At jvworldwide, we understand how to seize seamlessly. If you matrix vertically, you may have to seize strategically. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will seize the power of portals to incentivize. What does the term "short-term, user-defined bloatware" really mean? A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to repurpose fiercely. Without well-chosen markets, experiences are forced to become sexy. We think that most viral, killer web sites use far too much J++, and not enough OWL. If you cultivate micro-proactively, you may have to upgrade dynamically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our user interfaces but our power to empower. Without appropriate experiences, synergies are forced to become plug-and-play. We will expand our power to scale without decreasing our aptitude to exploit. We usually embrace dynamic portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! jvworldwide practically invented the term "development". It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Without sufficient user interfaces, users are forced to become customer-directed. Our magnetic feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined versioning and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer re-sizing and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to embrace. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does it really mean to optimize "globally"? What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "power shifts" really mean?