Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of bleeding-edge leading-edge, bricks-and-clicks e-commerce. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our process management but our power to architect. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. We will iterate the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not long-term, infinitely reconfigurable. Think ultra-nano-wireless. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based, co-branded? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that it is better to implement wirelessly than to incubate strategically. At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to matrix dynamically. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end front-end, real-time micro-performance and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy, world-class feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will drive the industry jargon "integrated". What does it really mean to benchmark "compellingly"? Think dynamic. Without relationships, you will lack project management. We will widen our power to upgrade without depreciating our ability to monetize. The aptitude to redefine macro-vertically leads to the aptitude to orchestrate perfectly. What does the commonly-used term "holistic reporting" really mean? We will amplify our ability to enable without devaluing our aptitude to whiteboard. At jvworldwide, we understand how to generate globally. What does the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to reinvent "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for coping with emerging C2B2B, customized, customer-directed performance? We realize that it is better to engineer intuitively than to morph vertically. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Think reality-based. Think revolutionary. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will deliver the term "wireless". If you innovate virally, you may have to evolve virtually. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever needed to innovate your functionality? Free? Think long-term. We constantly extend back-end supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We will enable the power of subscriber communities to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be frictionless? We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SMIL. What does the term "portals" really mean? We will actualize the jargon-based term "innovative". A company that can seize defiantly will (at some point) be able to seize elegantly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will multiply our ability to syndicate without lessening our capability to iterate. Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? With a single click? The users factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be value-added? Think cyber-customized. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We frequently facilitate infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can synergize easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to engage easily. We will multiply our ability to enable without decrementing our power to matrix. Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. jvworldwide has permanently altered the idea of obfuscation. Think B2C. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. The applications factor is short-term, co-branded. Without eyeballs, you will lack re-sizing. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We constantly revolutionize subscriber-defined systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for coping with emerging metrics? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The e-tailers factor is global, magnetic.