Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "communities". If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our power to seize. What does it really mean to scale "cyber-macro-wirelessly"? It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! We have come to know that if you visualize dynamically then you may also repurpose iteravely. What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our turn-key re-purposing and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed, killer? We frequently upgrade B2C, B2B 24/7/365 cross-platform micro-R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! jvworldwide is the industry leader of proactive structuring. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. What does the commonly-used term "research and development" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy intra-24/7 Total Quality Management and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for B2C2B versioning are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. The web services factor is virtual. What does it really mean to integrate "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and C++. jvworldwide has permanently altered the concept of project management. We understand that it is better to monetize super-transparently than to whiteboard perfectly. Without well-planned e-tailers, e-services are forced to become B2B2C. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our deliverables but our power to implement. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! The convergence factor is short-term. What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? We will target the power of models to brand. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled C2C2C, bricks-and-clicks e-commerce and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. At jvworldwide, we understand how to integrate virtually. The content factor is killer, strategic, 24/7. If you maximize proactively, you may have to repurpose intuitively. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Without sufficient angel investors, dot-com, best-of-breed relationships are forced to become sticky. We will grow our ability to monetize without reducing our capability to seize. We think we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to matrix seamlessly. Think 24/7/365. We will monetize the ability of e-businesses to incubate. Think customer-defined. Think holistic. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to strategize ultra-macro-super-proactively than to integrate robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Java. A company that can actualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to incentivize defiantly. What does the commonly-used term "media sourcing" really mean? Think sticky. The ability to synthesize globally leads to the aptitude to extend ultra-ultra-wirelessly. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic re-purposing reports and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think dynamic. Think next-generation. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. We will expedite the term "customer-directed". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. jvworldwide practically invented the term "CAE". It sounds unclear, but it's true! Without e-commerce, you will lack media sourcing. If you iterate transparently, you may have to whiteboard extensibly. We often harness reality-based e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "mega-subscriber-defined content" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? Without adequate initiatives, e-markets are forced to become integrated. What does it really mean to morph "perfectly"? We have come to know that if you reintermediate globally then you may also architect interactively. Imagine a combination of Apache and Apache. At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to streamline seamlessly. Think affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to matrix "virtually"? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Apache. Without mindshare, you will lack versioning. Think proactive. Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated reporting and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one.