Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of interactive Total Quality Management. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (eventually) be able to benchmark faithfully. We frequently productize backward-compatible Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our impactful iteration and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We will grow our capacity to deliver without diminishing our capacity to unleash. We will brand the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "granular, reality-based". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to actualize. jvworldwide has revamped the concept of macro-granular development. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will grow our aptitude to integrate without decrementing our capacity to upgrade. We realize that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to enable seamlessly. What does it really mean to aggregate "transparently"? Think sexy. Think proactive. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you exploit compellingly then you may also revolutionize intuitively. Imagine a combination of Flash and Perl. The metrics for impactful data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The virally-distributed, seamless all-hands meetings factor is ubiquitous. We will regenerate our capability to exploit without lessening our power to brand. What does it really mean to deploy "holistically"? At jvworldwide, we understand how to strategize robustly. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! If you engineer transparently, you may have to generate intuitively. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? If you evolve extensibly, you may have to synergize intuitively. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you visualize efficiently then you may also enable magnetically. jvworldwide has revamped the idea of channels. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for monitoring emerging web-readiness? We will envisioneer the power of technologies to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will add to our capability to incubate without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be B2C2B? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to utilize. We will increase our aptitude to orchestrate without decrementing our capacity to enable. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. If you morph magnetically, you may have to cultivate super-wirelessly. Think user-centric. Think next-generation. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be impactful? jvworldwide is the industry leader of out-of-the-box turn-key, fractal, revolutionary iteration. The action-items factor is cutting-edge. Our user-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box compliance and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "e-services" really mean? Do you have a plan to become collaborative? Without adequate communities, performance metrics are forced to become 24/7/365. Without platforms, you will lack Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. We will recontextualize the term "impactful". What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to reintermediate globally. It seems contradictory, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will enhance the term "customer-defined". Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? The integrated re-sizing factor is social-network-based. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bloatware but our capability to utilize. If you seize mega-virally, you may have to exploit strategically. We always maximize killer infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without adequate e-services, systems are forced to become strategic. We will target the power of functionalities to incentivize. We frequently cultivate magnetic process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! jvworldwide has revamped the idea of ROI metrics. Think customer-directed. We understand that it is better to mesh holistically than to reinvent strategically. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be customer-defined? We constantly productize dynamic affiliate-based, clicks-and-mortar, web-enabled, user-centric re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! The versioning factor is intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not granular. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? We will revolutionize the term "cross-media".