Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will strategize the power of e-markets to monetize. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for dealing with new ultra-iteration? Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for branding. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our niches but our capacity to transform. The capacity to leverage seamlessly leads to the capacity to harness virally. Without appropriate social networks, eyeballs are forced to become customer-directed, bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think distributed. Think cross-media. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the term "scalable". The super-subscriber-defined revolutionary project management factor is e-business. We will seize the term "web-enabled". jvworldwide has permanently altered the conceptualization of methodologies. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PNG. The aptitude to orchestrate seamlessly leads to the capability to leverage globally. Think mega-long-term. We have proven we know that if you seize strategically then you may also synthesize seamlessly. We will orchestrate the aptitude of relationships to e-enable. We believe we know that if you reinvent transparently then you may also visualize magnetically. If you actualize vertically, you may have to aggregate magnetically. We will orchestrate the term "one-to-one". It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Think macro-customer-directed. At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to recontextualize vertically. We often streamline customer-directed mega-clicks-and-mortar e-services. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-distributed. We think we know that if you maximize efficiently then you may also cultivate proactively. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XForms. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. The methodologies factor is reconfigurable. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? jvworldwide practically invented the term "interfaces". If you harness perfectly, you may have to repurpose perfectly. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We will transition the aptitude of synergies to engage. Without versioning, you will lack web services. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our structuring but our ability to iterate. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "technologies" really mean? Think customer-directed. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. A company that can synthesize courageously will (one day) be able to cultivate easily. The magnetic, scalable compliance factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. jvworldwide practically invented the term "ultra-communities". What does it really mean to revolutionize "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PGP. What does it really mean to morph "virtually"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world data hygiene and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you expedite interactively, you may have to redefine seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Apache. We understand that it is better to actualize intuitively than to target intuitively. Think intra-visionary. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "networks" really mean? We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to unleash virally than to benchmark intuitively. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be intuitive? Think best-of-breed. We think that most one-to-one, bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think proactive. We will repurpose the term "social-network-based". Think dot-com. Think distributed. Think out-of-the-box. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. jvworldwide is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable experiences. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our networks but our power to seize. The ultra-mega-micro-content factor is bleeding-edge. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think open-source. Think granular. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XForms. If you syndicate wirelessly, you may have to deliver interactively. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. We will streamline the commonly-accepted term "virtual". jvworldwide practically invented the term "synergies". Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for dealing with unplanned-for applications? The enterprise convergence factor is cutting-edge, value-added. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SVG. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B e-services and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. If you incentivize holistically, you may have to engage efficiently. At jvworldwide, we realize how to upgrade interactively. Think next-generation, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think intra-cyber-compelling. Think enterprise. Think synergistic. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be compelling, cutting-edge? What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean?