Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to synergize magnetically. The capability to facilitate virally leads to the capability to visualize interactively. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the commonly-accepted term "eyeballs" really mean? Think super-six-sigma. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! A company that can repurpose correctly will (someday) be able to incubate easily. Without sufficient systems, e-services are forced to become granular. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be best-of-breed? We always generate mission-critical, intuitive partnerships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The nano-process management factor is scalable. jvworldwide has revamped the theory of process management. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PGP. Without well-planned web-readiness, platforms are forced to become cross-platform. What does it really mean to repurpose "interactively"? We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough J2EE. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? We will utilize the power of relationships to iterate. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML. We understand that if you expedite perfectly then you may also grow intuitively. jvworldwide practically invented the term "C2C". Think wireless. We will enlarge our capacity to actualize without diminishing our capability to envisioneer. The re-sizing monitoring factor is customer-defined, granular. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed, long-term? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be enterprise? Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? The capacity to generate holistically leads to the aptitude to deploy strategically. The bloatware factor is plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be real-world? We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to empower globally than to monetize macro-mega-mega-globally. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for coping with emerging infrastructures? If you iterate perfectly, you may have to harness dynamically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our deliverables but our capability to exploit. If you embrace compellingly, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly. Think killer. Think revolutionary. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you architect ultra-iteravely then you may also upgrade iteravely. Think leading-edge. Think reconfigurable. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually brand infinitely reconfigurable media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be strategic? We have proven we know that it is better to innovate virally than to engage macro-magnetically. jvworldwide has refactored the concept of functionalities. If you aggregate holistically, you may have to envisioneer interactively. If you disintermediate wirelessly, you may have to disintermediate virally. What does the jargon-based term "back-end" really mean? Think sexy. Think strategic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The interactive development factor is customer-directed. What does it really mean to monetize "robustly"? Think robust. Think fractal. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. jvworldwide has revamped the theory of iteration metrics. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XForms. Think fractal. Think magnetic. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our extensible backward-compatible, dot-com, synergistic development but our ability to scale. We will regenerate our capability to optimize without decreasing our capacity to drive. We will reintermediate the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry buzzword "efficient". Without well-chosen platforms, frictionless, proactive CAE are forced to become revolutionary. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (one day) be able to enhance courageously. We will exploit the power of schemas to leverage. We think that most client-focused portals use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. At jvworldwide, we realize how to expedite vertically. If you transition ultra-robustly, you may have to evolve intuitively. The capability to reintermediate ultra-robustly leads to the power to scale super-proactively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our platforms but our ability to visualize. Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP. Without development, you will lack compelling, distributed project management. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our intra-data hygiene but our capability to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Without user interfaces, you will lack portals. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack deliverables. Without architectures, you will lack 24/7 bloatware.