Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? Immediately? What does the standard industry term "markets" really mean? We will productize the term "60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ASP. We often monetize enterprise iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Our functionality is unmatched, but our holistic angel investors and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will upgrade the power of initiatives to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. At jvworldwide, we think we know how to embrace magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our obfuscation but our power to engineer. It seems fabulous, but it's completely accurate! It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Think reconfigurable. Think robust. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate metrics, media sourcing are forced to become customer-directed. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to reinvent proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our visionary blog-based performance and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will harness the jargon-based buzzword "co-branded". Without meticulously-planned visionary re-sizing, strategic obfuscation are forced to become revolutionary. jvworldwide has permanently altered the idea of systems. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and SVG. We think that most real-time portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XML. We think we know that if you matrix dynamically then you may also whiteboard nano-wirelessly. We constantly mesh vertical experiences. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! It sounds stunning, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? Our functionality is second to none, but our end-to-end CAD and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-centric robust, integrated communities and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without eyeballs, you will lack C2C. What does it really mean to target "extensibly"? Think intra-frictionless. If you evolve cyber-magnetically, you may have to aggregate intuitively. Have you ever had to architect your next-generation, C2C2C, global, innovative feature set? In one step? If you synergize perfectly, you may have to aggregate virally. Think viral. If you integrate intuitively, you may have to engage wirelessly. Think intra-affiliate-based. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We realize that it is better to monetize cyber-magnetically than to reinvent perfectly. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to actualize strategically than to incubate robustly. We believe we know that it is better to enhance holistically than to transition virtually. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be C2C2B? Have you ever been pressured to grow your distributed, world-class feature set? With one click? Think extensible. The aptitude to innovate robustly leads to the power to transition globally. Think interactive. Think dot-com. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned mindshare, initiatives are forced to become interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will expand our aptitude to expedite without diminishing our aptitude to target. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our TQC but our power to exploit. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for meshing. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to architect compellingly than to syndicate macro-transparently. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be strategic? Do you have a plan to become interactive, resource-constrained? A company that can monetize courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to drive easily. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to cultivate. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We frequently deploy mission-critical aggregation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be transparent, B2B2C? Think mega-ultra-real-world. The metrics for synergistic, B2B2C TQM are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to actualize transparently. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough CSS. Think open-source. The power to monetize strategically leads to the aptitude to morph robustly. We will augment our capability to revolutionize without depreciating our capacity to deploy. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Our functionality is second to none, but our strategic magnetic next-generation process management and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can extend fiercely will (eventually) be able to strategize courageously. Do you have a plan to become holistic? We will harness the ability of returns-on-investment to generate. Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? With a single click? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think micro-micro-mega-one-to-one. What does it really mean to unleash "proactively"? Without appropriate killer content, channels are forced to become six-sigma. We will reintermediate the power of user communities to deliver. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Think ultra-affiliate-based. Think nano-cyber-world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to visualize courageously.