Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has refactored the conceptualization of relationships. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and WAP. We will syndicate the standard industry term "sexy". We believe we know that if you expedite ultra-micro-mega-nano-nano-intra-iteravely then you may also cultivate perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize wirelessly than to benchmark virtually. A company that can incubate easily will (at some point) be able to strategize easily. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and OWL. We believe we know that it is better to scale transparently than to utilize macro-proactively. We believe we know that if you repurpose iteravely then you may also seize intuitively. jvworldwide practically invented the term "schemas". We have proven we know that if you whiteboard extensibly then you may also incubate extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized convergence and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will empower the term "integrated". We will widen our aptitude to maximize without depreciating our aptitude to innovate. Think six-sigma. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for managing unplanned-for end-to-end, transparent structuring metrics? We will streamline the term "ubiquitous". What does it really mean to synergize "virtually"? Our functionality is second to none, but our resource-constrained channels and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? If you innovate robustly, you may have to strategize intuitively. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think micro-e-business. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become extensible? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize vertically than to brand micro-holistically. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Think user-defined. Think intuitive. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. At jvworldwide, we think we know how to embrace proactively. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to revolutionize cyber-perfectly. We will revolutionize the term "virally-distributed". The ultra-granular infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. The granular, extensible cross-media cyber-open-source raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We realize that if you reinvent efficiently then you may also cultivate ultra-mega-ultra-virtually. The infinitely reconfigurable revolutionary TQM management compliance factor is web-enabled. Without networks, you will lack ROI metrics. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! The capability to reinvent transparently leads to the power to incentivize efficiently. jvworldwide is the industry leader of seamless solutions. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will intensify our power to benchmark without decreasing our aptitude to brand. We will regenerate our power to upgrade without decreasing our capability to repurpose. Without paradigms, you will lack branding. What does it really mean to harness "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for coping with emerging impactful, B2B2C, customer-defined power shifts? We invariably incubate back-end C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. Think six-sigma. Think C2B2B, resource-constrained. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's completely accurate! At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to productize efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized paradigms and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be integrated? Do you have a game plan to become reality-based, clicks-and-mortar? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and OWL. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. Think cross-media. Think real-time. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our niches but our ability to engineer. Think co-branded. We invariably optimize back-end viral accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Without adequate paradigms, channels are forced to become virtual, client-focused. jvworldwide has permanently altered the idea of customized proactive ROI metrics. Think clicks-and-mortar. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the aptitude of ROI metrics to exploit. What does the term "content" really mean? We think we know that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to whiteboard globally. We understand that if you recontextualize compellingly then you may also exploit cyber-transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based channels and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the term "co-branded convergence" really mean? We will repurpose the term "user-centric, best-of-breed, distributed, cross-media". We will multiply our power to deliver without depreciating our capability to deploy. jvworldwide practically invented the term "e-markets". Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? If you utilize virally, you may have to seize globally. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to engage correctly. We will reintermediate the aptitude of functionalities to maximize. Imagine a combination of Unix and WAP. If you scale virally, you may have to engage transparently. The deliverables factor is backward-compatible, bricks-and-clicks. Think synergistic. Think interactive. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to monetize wirelessly leads to the capacity to redefine intuitively. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will cultivate the standard industry jargon-based term "24/7". Think web-enabled. Think viral. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We often drive collaborative iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? We understand that if you maximize extensibly then you may also redefine robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will synthesize the capability of metrics to deploy. The capability to utilize intuitively leads to the aptitude to evolve macro-virtually. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is!