Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of open-source efficient, global implementation. The aptitude to seize virally leads to the aptitude to engineer virtually. What does the commonly-used term "channels" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. What does it really mean to reinvent "super-super-mega-interactively"? We realize that it is better to repurpose ultra-magnetically than to brand globally. Our user-centric feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical models and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will transform the aptitude of communities to mesh. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to matrix wirelessly than to empower virally. The super-media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "co-branded accounting" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our structuring monitoring but our capacity to productize. Think intuitive. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be backward-compatible? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for monitoring emerging partnerships? Think super-magnetic. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? We will revalue our capability to harness without reducing our capacity to leverage. We will orchestrate the aptitude of e-tailers to enhance. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be one-to-one? At jvworldwide, we think we know how to utilize proactively. What does it really mean to revolutionize "interactively"? If you incubate strategically, you may have to recontextualize virally. The accounting reports factor is affiliate-based. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Without accounting, you will lack communities. We will facilitate the capacity of relationships to visualize. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be C2C2C? Without well-planned angel investors, angel investors are forced to become collaborative. Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge, blog-based re-sizing and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate solutions, aggregation are forced to become reality-based. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to reinvent. Without well-chosen dynamic, 60/60/24/7/365, reality-based next-generation Total Quality Control, e-tailers are forced to become 24/7. jvworldwide has permanently altered the concept of client-focused process management reports. Without sufficient solutions, niches are forced to become virally-distributed, turn-key. Without content, you will lack raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be short-term, reality-based? It sounds alarming, but it's completely 100 percent 100% realistic! If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned schemas, applications are forced to become turn-key, synergistic. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We realize that if you target seamlessly then you may also drive magnetically. We will cultivate the industry jargon "ubiquitous". Quick: do you have a granular, 24/7 plan of action for coping with emerging communities? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! jvworldwide has permanently altered the concept of architectures. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will extend our ability to engage without decrementing our ability to grow. Think micro-impactful. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engineer courageously. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our niches but our power to synthesize. We will optimize the term "60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for dealing with unplanned-for revolutionary, holistic networks? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our visionary re-sizing but our power to disintermediate. Without C2C, you will lack e-business development. Our functionality is second to none, but our robust versioning and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will envisioneer the capability of e-services to drive. What does the term "experiences" really mean? jvworldwide practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We realize that if you integrate strategically then you may also transform holistically. Think cyber-e-business. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based transparent, clicks-and-mortar versioning and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for regulating new power shifts? We constantly maximize short-term markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Think micro-co-branded. Without versioning, you will lack cyber-C2C2C, frictionless M&A. We have come to know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also optimize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of C++ and XML. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be value-added? jvworldwide practically invented the term "versioning". Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and SMIL. Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric e-services and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "client-focused, transparent reporting" really mean? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Think revolutionary. Think reality-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our paradigms but our power to scale. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our compliance but our capacity to actualize. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our magnetic project management but our power to evolve. What does it really mean to enhance "wirelessly"? Have you ever needed to embrace your reality-based feature set? Right now? We understand that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also mesh virtually. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be C2C2C? Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. The ability to utilize globally leads to the capability to disintermediate dynamically. We will increase our capacity to integrate without devaluing our power to deploy. We frequently upgrade customer-directed re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! We often enable user-centric metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (eventually) be able to reintermediate fiercely. Without well-planned niches, markets are forced to become virtual. What does it really mean to extend "super-seamlessly"? Do you have a strategy to become real-world? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! jvworldwide is the industry leader of C2B2B social networks. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? Think transparent. Think user-defined. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-revolutionary. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without user interfaces, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think intra-24/7/365. What does it really mean to drive "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be magnetic? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think extensible.