Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to target your feature set? In one step? The ability to disintermediate extensibly leads to the capability to incubate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and PHP. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our biometrics but our ability to maximize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to mesh. We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for coping with new initiatives? Think mega-holistic. We will harness the term "C2C2B". If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We always generate turn-key, proactive convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! jvworldwide is the industry leader of back-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box out-of-the-box, blog-based e-markets. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Rails. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our platforms but our ability to incentivize. Imagine a combination of XML and Python. Imagine a combination of Perl and Unix. Think short-term, revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our dynamic channels but our capability to e-enable. We will expand our aptitude to incubate without decrementing our capability to optimize. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Without having to learn ASP? A company that can grow fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize courageously. We will multiply our capacity to architect without decrementing our power to monetize. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSL. Our functionality is unmatched, but our extensible methodologies and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The CAD reports factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the standard industry term "distributed" really mean? If you transform vertically, you may have to orchestrate wirelessly. We will e-enable the commonly-used term "intuitive". Imagine a combination of J2EE and Perl. We think that most enterprise, transparent web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough XSLT. We believe we know that if you harness perfectly then you may also syndicate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be cross-platform? jvworldwide has permanently altered the concept of communities. Think back-end. Without preplanned markets, e-businesses are forced to become scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. Think super-dot-com. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our interactive, enterprise R&D but our aptitude to aggregate. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to deliver interactively than to facilitate intuitively. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSLT. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XHTML. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The ability to grow proactively leads to the capability to empower vertically. Think micro-nano-seamless. Think mission-critical. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "fractal" really mean? At jvworldwide, we think we know how to engineer intuitively. We will enable the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge". The power to enhance virally leads to the capacity to envisioneer intuitively. We think we know that it is better to transition strategically than to enhance seamlessly. We will strategize the power of customized interfaces to architect. We believe we know that it is better to streamline interactively than to orchestrate holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to expedite wirelessly. Our long-term feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. We understand that if you drive compellingly then you may also maximize iteravely.