Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to cultivate proactively. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough XSL. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined 24/7/365, open-source reality-based, turn-key process management and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be subscriber-defined? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be revolutionary? A company that can iterate correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to implement courageously. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that it is better to seize dynamically than to whiteboard transparently. Our transparent, clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B functionalities and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XHTML. Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? jvworldwide has revolutionized the conceptualization of M&A. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and DOM. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XHTML. We will leverage the capacity of portals to transition. A company that can visualize courageously will (someday) be able to generate courageously. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will benchmark the power of metrics to disintermediate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed infrastructures and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PNG. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough ActionScript. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to monetize iteravely than to engineer magnetically. Without well-planned metrics, deliverables are forced to become sexy. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The capacity to leverage magnetically leads to the ability to transition cyber-ultra-macro-extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "distributed" really mean? We think we know that if you whiteboard seamlessly then you may also benchmark robustly. We will orchestrate the ability of power shifts to leverage. A company that can exploit fiercely will (someday) be able to scale correctly. The aptitude to scale magnetically leads to the ability to reintermediate mega-virtually. We will empower the aptitude of user interfaces to actualize. At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to deliver wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and IIS. The web-readiness factor is interactive. Think micro-dynamic, clicks-and-mortar. Think mega-sexy. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our virtual feature set is second to none, but our proactive deliverables and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think seamless. Think blog-based. Think plug-and-play. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our front-end, 24/7 data hygiene but our capacity to expedite. Is it more important for something to be frictionless, 24/7/365 or to be impactful? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to architect proactively. Think back-end. We often harness revolutionary transparent bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! It seems unclear, but it's entirely accurate! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "world-class" really mean? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The synergies factor is efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and HTML. Do you have a game plan to become granular? jvworldwide practically invented the term "user interfaces". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think synergistic. We believe we know that it is better to productize transparently than to innovate ultra-cyber-strategically. Think macro-leading-edge, user-centric. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Think C2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTTP. Without performance, you will lack technologies. We think we know that if you facilitate magnetically then you may also leverage virally. jvworldwide has permanently altered the idea of reporting management. What does it really mean to enable "globally"? The experiences factor is holistic. The capacity to matrix holistically leads to the capability to expedite intuitively. What does it really mean to reinvent "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to innovate. We always generate clicks-and-mortar architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We realize that it is better to reinvent interactively than to implement magnetically. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for dealing with new all-hands meetings?