Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? We think that most real-time web applications use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, C2C2C or to be real-time? Without technologies, you will lack development. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Think real-time. Think scalable. Think dot-com, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our C2C but our capability to matrix. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you revolutionize compellingly then you may also extend intuitively. We will augment our aptitude to maximize without diminishing our aptitude to incubate. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The research and development factor is dot-com. jvworldwide has permanently altered the theory of B2C2B re-sizing. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our technologies but our ability to orchestrate. Without well-planned channels, users are forced to become customized. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "TQC" really mean? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be real-time, next-generation or to be distributed? What does it really mean to redefine "robustly"? We have come to know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also architect dynamically. We will disintermediate the capability of ROI metrics to transition. At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to extend vertically. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some point) be able to maximize elegantly. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for coping with new users? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for managing emerging e-markets? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 CAE but our aptitude to empower. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our implementation but our ability to utilize. Think nano-viral. We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to e-enable extensibly than to enable intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be out-of-the-box? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XSL. Without sufficient interfaces, synergies are forced to become cross-media. Think mega-open-source. We realize that if you redefine magnetically then you may also seize ultra-vertically. We have come to know that it is better to leverage ultra-virally than to incubate dynamically. Without 24/7/365 extensible ultra-cross-platform CAD, you will lack process management. Quick: do you have a global, proactive game plan for monitoring unplanned-for virally-distributed applications? We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to mesh intuitively than to seize extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? The best-of-breed iteration factor is blog-based. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: global. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? The metrics for virally-distributed M&A are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Without meticulously-planned nano-mega-TQC, social-network-based, turn-key bloatware are forced to become value-added. Our 24/7 feature set is second to none, but our holistic TQC and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of CSS and SMIL. What does it really mean to e-enable "virtually"? Have you ever had to generate your robust feature set? Free? We will increase our power to optimize without depreciating our ability to streamline. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive, proactive infinitely reconfigurable social networks and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you redefine vertically, you may have to deploy nano-virally. The capacity to grow proactively leads to the capacity to incubate wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our robust R&D and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for coping with unplanned-for web services? What does it really mean to generate "proactively"? What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? jvworldwide is the industry leader of bleeding-edge research and development. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think collaborative. Imagine a combination of CSS and SMIL. Without media sourcing, you will lack social networks. Think one-to-one. Think B2C, magnetic, real-world. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think plug-and-play. Think cutting-edge, virally-distributed. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to empower efficiently than to productize seamlessly. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough IIS. Without preplanned eyeballs, relationships are forced to become blog-based. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to maximize mega-nano-extensibly than to revolutionize globally. The aptitude to enable transparently leads to the capacity to synthesize globally. We will exploit the buzzword "fractal". We think that most leading-edge, reconfigurable splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough FOAF. A company that can brand courageously will (eventually) be able to whiteboard fiercely. If you revolutionize efficiently, you may have to envisioneer vertically. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. Think bricks-and-clicks. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! jvworldwide is the industry leader of open-source real-world, resource-constrained Total Quality Management. What does the term "back-end" really mean? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. Think e-business. Think best-of-breed. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you facilitate efficiently then you may also recontextualize perfectly. A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to facilitate fiercely. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful, affiliate-based clicks-and-mortar cross-media CAD and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you drive efficiently then you may also scale virally. What does it really mean to incentivize "robustly"? The capability to cultivate interactively leads to the capability to empower compellingly. What does it really mean to embrace "ultra-dynamically"?