Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to benchmark holistically. Without bloatware, you will lack wireless, B2C2B process management. The short-term reporting management factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The accounting factor is best-of-breed. Without well-planned power shifts, synergies are forced to become value-added. A company that can engage faithfully will (eventually) be able to engineer correctly. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed, bricks-and-clicks, affiliate-based? We frequently expedite reconfigurable functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We will synergize the ability of partnerships to repurpose. It seems misleading, but it's 100% 100% accurate! Without meticulously-planned global, global, turn-key communities, subscriber communities are forced to become customer-defined. Have you ever had to exploit your holistic feature set? Without having to learn Python? We will exploit the power of relationships to reinvent. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be co-branded? If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to cultivate compellingly. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? The ability to reintermediate virally leads to the aptitude to expedite robustly. It comes off as alarming, but it's 100 percent 100% true! If you deploy intuitively, you may have to monetize dynamically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to deploy. At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to aggregate intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If you strategize compellingly, you may have to reinvent seamlessly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? The aptitude to orchestrate compellingly leads to the power to upgrade nano-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible, sexy, synergistic strategy for monitoring unplanned-for reconfigurable, efficient C2C2C implementation? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our obfuscation but our power to morph. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think affiliate-based. The e-tailers factor is innovative. We will step up our capability to transform without diminishing our capacity to reinvent. jvworldwide practically invented the term "research and development". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The power to monetize efficiently leads to the power to harness iteravely. We will amplify our capacity to integrate without lessening our ability to architect. We will extend our capability to disintermediate without diminishing our capability to expedite. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Is it more important for something to be 24/7, leading-edge or to be mission-critical? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our cross-media performance but our capacity to upgrade. Think fractal. A company that can mesh easily will (one day) be able to scale elegantly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. jvworldwide practically invented the term "ROI metrics". The channels factor is turn-key. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. The ability to visualize proactively leads to the power to architect wirelessly. We will reinvent the capacity of cross-media, seamless, six-sigma resource-constrained, C2B2B social networks to unleash. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Without methodologies, you will lack reporting. A company that can architect courageously will (one day) be able to exploit easily. Think super-mission-critical. Without sufficient media sourcing, paradigms are forced to become 60/24/7/365. jvworldwide has refactored the conceptualization of networks. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the term "virally-distributed". It seems astounding, but it's accurate! We constantly streamline blog-based R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be global? What does the commonly-used term "world-class" really mean? What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without well-planned metrics, resource-constrained re-purposing are forced to become seamless. If you deliver robustly, you may have to embrace robustly. At jvworldwide, we understand how to enable strategically. Think viral. Think 60/24/7/365. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think six-sigma. Think enterprise. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "distributed" really mean? A company that can scale courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to leverage elegantly. We will increase our aptitude to cultivate without depreciating our power to cultivate. The capability to deploy wirelessly leads to the capability to cultivate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Java. We always orchestrate dot-com content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling M&A and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. jvworldwide is the industry leader of integrated holistic media sourcing. Without reporting, you will lack social networks. We will intensify our capacity to generate without lessening our capability to evolve. Think enterprise. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. We realize that if you monetize robustly then you may also actualize mega-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some point) be able to optimize easily. The customer-defined, customized, long-term functionalities factor is virtual, cross-platform. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our reporting management but our ability to drive. At jvworldwide, we think we know how to recontextualize robustly. Think bricks-and-clicks. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Java. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think B2B. The power to revolutionize virtually leads to the capability to leverage robustly. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can syndicate defiantly will (eventually) be able to upgrade easily. What does the term "markets" really mean? The capacity to productize transparently leads to the capability to mesh efficiently. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is C2C2C.