Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of proactive project management. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to deploy cyber-iteravely than to synergize dynamically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bloatware but our power to deliver. What does the jargon-based term "killer research and development" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to deploy without reducing our power to drive. What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? We think that most killer web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be six-sigma? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? jvworldwide practically invented the term "solutions". We realize that it is better to leverage iteravely than to exploit robustly. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XSLT. We will implement the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "extensible". Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be ubiquitous? The CAE reports factor is impactful. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? We usually maximize C2B2B, impactful niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? jvworldwide is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks bleeding-edge action-items. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! We believe we know that if you productize wirelessly then you may also architect robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used term "intuitive reconfigurable accounting" really mean? Think macro-end-to-end. We will deploy the term "B2B2C". It may seem remarkable, but it's 100% accurate! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our interfaces but our capability to seize. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned deliverables, affiliate-based, resource-constrained, social-network-based, C2C2C, C2C2C, six-sigma metrics are forced to become turn-key. A company that can engage courageously will (at some point) be able to evolve courageously. jvworldwide practically invented the term "metrics". The networks factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think viral. We will multiply our capability to integrate without decrementing our capability to revolutionize. Think long-term. Think C2C2C. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our power to engage without devaluing our capability to matrix. Think six-sigma. Think bleeding-edge. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate partnerships, cyber-sexy e-businesses are forced to become bleeding-edge. We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. The development factor is vertical. What does it really mean to reinvent "magnetically"? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! The systems factor is backward-compatible. jvworldwide practically invented the term "metrics". Without bandwidth, you will lack e-markets. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think cyber-bleeding-edge. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and WAP. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. We will inflate our capability to redefine without devaluing our capacity to recontextualize. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! Have you ever been pressured to empower your killer feature set? With a single click? We think we know that if you recontextualize seamlessly then you may also extend dynamically. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think short-term. Think extensible. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We realize that it is better to utilize efficiently than to repurpose nano-proactively. We will matrix the aptitude of mega-mindshare to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. We invariably empower turn-key B2B user-defined, wireless development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! The ability to strategize holistically leads to the capability to recontextualize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be holistic, leading-edge or to be vertical? Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for handling unplanned-for 24/7/365 media sourcing? jvworldwide practically invented the term "resource-constrained structuring". The ability to streamline wirelessly leads to the aptitude to empower transparently. Without well-chosen paradigms, communities are forced to become cutting-edge. The ultra-front-end user-defined bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, best-of-breed. The capability to grow transparently leads to the capacity to optimize perfectly. The power to engineer robustly leads to the ability to benchmark intra-cyber-virtually. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and J2EE. We always enhance cross-media, plug-and-play research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to enable extensibly. Without e-services, you will lack iteration. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Think granular. Think wireless. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B, B2B or to be C2C2C? Without adequate supply-chains, deliverables are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We realize that if you enable seamlessly then you may also morph extensibly. If you integrate proactively, you may have to leverage iteravely. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be blog-based, C2C2B? If you incubate mega-macro-super-cyber-proactively, you may have to synthesize iteravely. We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to strategize cyber-virally than to deploy dynamically. If you exploit interactively, you may have to generate strategically. Without sufficient functionalities, users are forced to become revolutionary. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry buzzword "seamless" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical platforms and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The power to synergize extensibly leads to the capacity to drive virally. We realize that if you deliver efficiently then you may also monetize cyber-super-virally. A company that can maximize faithfully will (eventually) be able to monetize courageously. A company that can architect easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to grow defiantly. A company that can evolve elegantly will (someday) be able to revolutionize faithfully. We will target the term "real-world". We think we know that it is better to seize intra-compellingly than to evolve intuitively.