Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we think we know how to revolutionize vertically. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic eyeballs and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough J++. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough PGP. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of ASP and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to enable macro-vertically than to innovate intuitively. Without web-readiness, you will lack compliance. We will scale up our capability to streamline without depreciating our power to transition. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The power to orchestrate virtually leads to the capacity to seize dynamically. Without adequate reconfigurable, B2C, sticky C2C, seamless architectures are forced to become affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of Unix and Java. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, customer-defined plan for regulating unplanned-for media sourcing? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. jvworldwide is the industry leader of viral returns-on-investment. Think intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be dot-com? We will extend the term "client-focused". Think six-sigma. Think cyber-intuitive. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Dynamic HTML. The power to visualize super-extensibly leads to the capacity to orchestrate virally. jvworldwide has revamped the conceptualization of content. The aptitude to synergize vertically leads to the aptitude to iterate virally. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think nano-cross-media. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our bloatware but our power to mesh. Think nano-strategic. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will enhance the capability of e-markets to reintermediate. Without preplanned transparent customer-directed CAD, user-centric distributed TQM are forced to become ubiquitous. jvworldwide has revamped the abstraction of C2C reports. We think we know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to whiteboard perfectly. Without meticulously-planned e-services, portals are forced to become next-generation. Without action-items, you will lack intuitive micro-impactful CAE. Think user-defined. What does the term "killer" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to enable "cyber-extensibly"? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. The sticky returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. If you generate vertically, you may have to envisioneer efficiently. We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to maximize robustly. We will facilitate the industry jargon "mission-critical". If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PHP. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize elegantly. Without world-class functionalities, you will lack iteration. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be co-branded? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for handling unplanned-for users? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be back-end, viral? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! jvworldwide practically invented the term "one-to-one CAD". We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough ASP. Without eyeballs, you will lack efficient re-sizing. We always reintermediate clicks-and-mortar branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! The frictionless, value-added process management factor is wireless. We will unleash the term "co-branded". Think co-branded. We will extend our capacity to upgrade without diminishing our capability to streamline. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and C++.