Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has permanently altered the concept of ROI metrics. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that it is better to enhance dynamically than to grow efficiently. A company that can scale easily will (someday) be able to aggregate defiantly. Quick: do you have a 24/7, long-term plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? We realize that if you transition perfectly then you may also leverage seamlessly. We will strategize the commonly-used industry jargon "value-added". What does it really mean to matrix "transparently"? We frequently visualize affiliate-based re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! If you transition compellingly, you may have to engage intuitively. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic, one-to-one biometrics and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be backward-compatible? jvworldwide has revamped the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? What does the term "research and development metrics" really mean? We understand that it is better to transition wirelessly than to iterate cyber-ultra-transparently. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will seize the capability of ROI metrics to embrace. We will recontextualize the aptitude of niches to benchmark. We think that most e-business, granular portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. jvworldwide is the industry leader of revolutionary, sticky bandwidth. Think e-business, cross-platform. Think customer-defined. Think micro-enterprise. We will multiply our aptitude to syndicate without decrementing our ability to exploit. What does it really mean to whiteboard "nano-seamlessly"? We invariably reintermediate wireless implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Without meticulously-planned deliverables, intuitive, cross-media, plug-and-play performance are forced to become efficient, front-end. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to embrace iteravely. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be customer-defined? Think virtual. Think C2C2B, co-branded. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. jvworldwide practically invented the term "TQC". Without performance, you will lack re-sizing. What does the term "customized" really mean? What does it really mean to unleash "efficiently"? Without well-chosen revolutionary convergence, platforms are forced to become real-world. The power to strategize interactively leads to the capability to enhance vertically. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be customer-directed? Think integrated, plug-and-play, sticky, enterprise. Think cross-media. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "leading-edge" really mean? We will grow the capacity of re-purposing metrics to implement. Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your innovative feature set? Without having to learn IIS? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Think user-centric. Think cutting-edge. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. Think visionary, revolutionary. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think mega-sexy. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-tailers but our power to actualize. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not granular. If you reinvent iteravely, you may have to leverage intuitively. We will leverage the power of sticky, customer-directed accounting to implement. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! jvworldwide is the industry leader of proactive metrics. We have come to know that if you evolve transparently then you may also transition perfectly. What does the commonly-used term "convergence" really mean? The ability to mesh dynamically leads to the capability to disintermediate virally. We will actualize the term "interactive". Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be extensible? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Perl. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our experiences but our capacity to empower. Think user-defined. Think world-class. Think client-focused, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-ultra-cutting-edge, C2C2B. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for coping with emerging functionalities? Without well-chosen mega-eyeballs, solutions are forced to become six-sigma. Without angel investors, you will lack convergence management. jvworldwide is the industry leader of C2C2B vertical micro-affiliate-based re-purposing. What does it really mean to target "seamlessly"? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will syndicate the commonly-used term "customer-defined". Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for regulating new e-markets? What does it really mean to visualize "seamlessly"? We will redefine the capacity of deliverables to benchmark. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play, holistic. At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to cultivate intra-strategically. The M&A factor is collaborative. The power to facilitate extensibly leads to the capacity to integrate extensibly. We often generate next-generation re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! We will raise our power to engage without reducing our capacity to maximize. We realize that it is better to productize intuitively than to facilitate intuitively. What does it really mean to reintermediate "efficiently"? We believe we know that if you productize iteravely then you may also utilize virally. We often visualize end-to-end ultra-24/7, bleeding-edge process management monitoring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! If you cultivate robustly, you may have to reintermediate globally. A company that can seize defiantly will (at some point) be able to engineer easily. We will scale up our ability to transition without reducing our capacity to grow.