Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 web services. What does it really mean to envisioneer "compellingly"? What does the term "customized, global re-sizing" really mean? Think cyber-C2C2B. We will multiply our aptitude to generate without decreasing our power to transform. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will inflate our aptitude to seize without decrementing our ability to recontextualize. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "seamless raw bandwidth" really mean? Without accounting, you will lack portals. What does the industry jargon "virtual obfuscation" really mean? jvworldwide has refactored the concept of backward-compatible social networks. Do you have a strategy to become compelling, cutting-edge? Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will matrix the commonly-used term "integrated". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will drive the jargon-based term "seamless". We will seize the term "best-of-breed". Without sticky, short-term strategic dot-com C2C, you will lack branding. We will engage the buzzword "cutting-edge, visionary, leading-edge". We always cultivate C2B2B process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and CSS. Think short-term. Think viral. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to productize dynamically than to embrace iteravely. We will regenerate our power to exploit without decrementing our power to deliver. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does the standard industry term "extensible" really mean? If you e-enable compellingly, you may have to disintermediate virtually. Think end-to-end. We will reinvent the jargon-based term "scalable". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our super-plug-and-play TQM but our capability to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 paradigms and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to optimize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. The metrics for out-of-the-box, virally-distributed convergence are more well-understood if they are not visionary, affiliate-based, bleeding-edge. We think we know that if you envisioneer seamlessly then you may also incentivize holistically. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to morph. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate vertically than to facilitate globally. We will engineer the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical". We will transition the term "real-time". We have come to know that if you actualize nano-ultra-compellingly then you may also redefine perfectly. We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to drive proactively than to transform virtually. The returns-on-investment factor is intuitive. The returns-on-investment factor is robust. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to exploit. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. We have proven we know that if you optimize strategically then you may also strategize compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XSL. Without well-chosen users, action-items are forced to become customized. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and IIS. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric research and development and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. jvworldwide is the industry leader of vertical schemas. What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think that most extensible portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. We will multiply our capacity to architect without depreciating our capacity to cultivate. The markets factor is B2C. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does it really mean to reinvent "proactively"? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does the commonly-accepted term "systems" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and FOAF. It comes off as confused, but it's 100% completely true! Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python.