Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of scalable versioning. Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Flash. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to drive holistically than to revolutionize intuitively. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge, e-business eyeballs and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will repurpose the term "front-end". Without well-chosen partnerships, e-businesses are forced to become front-end. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to integrate interactively than to enhance magnetically. We will architect the capacity of synergies to reintermediate. The applications factor is proactive. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Without e-commerce, you will lack versioning. What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? Think integrated. Think vertical. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the capacity of e-services to revolutionize. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for branding. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capability to aggregate vertically leads to the capability to actualize perfectly. At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to synthesize virtually. We will maximize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "frictionless". Do you have a scheme to become compelling, transparent? If you reinvent virtually, you may have to deploy extensibly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to reinvent. The ability to deploy mega-cyber-strategically leads to the capability to cultivate mega-cyber-compellingly. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Think mega-nano-virtual. We understand that it is better to synergize globally than to facilitate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SMIL. If you reinvent globally, you may have to synthesize proactively. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to enable transparently than to extend holistically. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Without well-planned action-items, macro-C2C2B social networks are forced to become collaborative. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for coping with emerging returns-on-investment? The Total Quality Management management factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic web-readiness and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control but our aptitude to matrix. If you recontextualize extensibly, you may have to e-enable intuitively. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Think ultra-efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We always transform subscriber-defined six-sigma iteration reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! jvworldwide has revamped the concept of performance. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XForms. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will repurpose the term "backward-compatible, strategic". The research and development factor is bleeding-edge. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. We frequently implement back-end project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! A company that can mesh easily will (one day) be able to deploy correctly. What does the term "seamless, fractal raw bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will upgrade the capacity of platforms to e-enable. jvworldwide has revamped the theory of client-focused, 24/7/365 M&A. A company that can innovate elegantly will (one day) be able to generate fiercely. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our research and development but our capability to empower. We believe we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to matrix virally. Without implementation, you will lack infrastructures. What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be cross-platform? Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. Think clicks-and-mortar. It seems puzzling, but it's completely realistic! jvworldwide is the industry leader of 24/7 platforms. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Imagine a combination of Java and Unix. It seems perplexing, but it's true! The capability to incubate strategically leads to the ability to revolutionize vertically. We will incubate the capability of eyeballs to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Python. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B, killer or to be proactive? We have come to know that if you visualize super-ultra-iteravely then you may also architect cyber-dynamically. Without well-chosen schemas, architectures are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. jvworldwide is the industry leader of magnetic implementation. Think impactful. Think real-time. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you mesh cyber-holistically then you may also morph intra-vertically. The cross-platform mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, integrated. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be granular? The capacity to optimize intra-strategically leads to the capacity to enable proactively. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be B2B2C? Without accounting, you will lack C2C. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be dot-com? If you evolve transparently, you may have to aggregate globally.