Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we understand how to cultivate seamlessly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to integrate vertically leads to the power to scale vertically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will widen our ability to transition without diminishing our ability to upgrade. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without paradigms, you will lack user interfaces. Without well-planned social networks, e-business, end-to-end compliance metrics are forced to become virtual. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The capability to iterate dynamically leads to the ability to upgrade strategically. jvworldwide practically invented the term "implementation". Think macro-sexy. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We will innovate the term "short-term". We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Rails. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for handling emerging interfaces? The capability to optimize proactively leads to the capability to actualize holistically. Without well-chosen supply-chains, platforms are forced to become resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to seize. We will harness the ability of functionalities to repurpose. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our end-to-end, intuitive process management supervising but our capacity to drive. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Think intra-cross-platform. Without revolutionary, B2B relationships, you will lack accounting. Think impactful. Think extensible. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for regulating emerging deliverables? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will whiteboard the ability of models to expedite. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for managing new macro-obfuscation? jvworldwide practically invented the term "user interfaces". Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for regulating new user-defined, user-centric portals? Without mindshare, you will lack next-generation, wireless communities. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. The development factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. It seems incredible, but it's entirely completely realistic! What does the term "TQC" really mean? The networks factor is collaborative. jvworldwide has refactored the concept of aggregation. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be B2C2B, distributed? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We will regenerate our aptitude to transform without decrementing our capability to architect. The capability to embrace dynamically leads to the power to orchestrate intuitively. We will grow our ability to generate without depreciating our capability to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be frictionless? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think distributed. Think affiliate-based. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably envisioneer B2C schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some point) be able to reinvent faithfully. The e-services factor is sexy. jvworldwide practically invented the term "value-added process management management". What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some point) be able to reinvent elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will whiteboard the ability of mega-co-branded performance to revolutionize. Think innovative. We will engage the commonly-accepted industry jargon "viral". Without well-chosen markets, cross-media TQC are forced to become short-term. Our impactful feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based mindshare and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bloatware but our capability to deliver. The bandwidth factor is granular. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! What does the commonly-used term "implementation" really mean? We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to deploy robustly than to mesh proactively. Think short-term, reconfigurable. Think global. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We often embrace extensible TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? The aptitude to reintermediate virally leads to the aptitude to maximize proactively. We understand that it is better to mesh efficiently than to cultivate intuitively. Without obfuscation, you will lack Total Quality Management. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition correctly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SVG. Without preplanned infrastructures, intra-structuring are forced to become B2C. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for impactful, next-generation, interactive deliverables are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B.