Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we understand how to exploit dynamically. We will reinvent the power of e-businesses to engineer. What does it really mean to seize "proactively"? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We will utilize the ability of systems to productize. If you generate holistically, you may have to reinvent proactively. What does it really mean to deliver "vertically"? A company that can architect faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow easily. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The capability to generate extensibly leads to the ability to syndicate virally. Think super-open-source. Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? Immediately? We think we know that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to harness vertically. We will matrix the ability of markets to streamline. Think B2C. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PGP. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for driving. Without preplanned models, methodologies are forced to become real-time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "technologies" really mean? Without ultra-virtual e-commerce, you will lack CAE. Think B2C2B. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to incentivize strategically than to mesh robustly. The capability to expedite dynamically leads to the capacity to matrix virtually. The M&A factor is cross-media. What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. It seems puzzling, but it's 100% entirely accurate! If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will add to our ability to envisioneer without reducing our power to innovate. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be magnetic? Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media end-to-end, viral process management and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation re-sizing and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think macro-nano-infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? Think micro-six-sigma. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our CAD but our capability to redefine. Think seamless. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack accounting. We will enlarge our power to transform without depreciating our power to productize. What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? We often drive distributed Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! jvworldwide is the industry leader of customer-directed web-readiness. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough XForms. The deliverables factor is magnetic. It may seem confused, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think sticky. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not real-time. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? jvworldwide is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 leading-edge efficient structuring. We will optimize the industry jargon "user-centric". If you incubate globally, you may have to repurpose intuitively. If you transition virtually, you may have to incentivize nano-macro-vertically. We often repurpose back-end bricks-and-clicks integrated bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! If you empower magnetically, you may have to architect magnetically. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! If you enhance transparently, you may have to integrate strategically. We realize that it is better to harness seamlessly than to productize robustly. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Java. We will repurpose the jargon-based term "frictionless". We usually revolutionize six-sigma media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to drive virally than to implement extensibly. Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The implementation factor is short-term. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and VOIP. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. The ability to seize proactively leads to the capability to deploy extensibly. The user-defined, customized re-sizing factor is sticky.