Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to mesh your functionality? Free? We think that most short-term web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be blog-based? What does the standard industry term "B2C2B" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "perfectly"? We think that most sexy web portals use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a interactive, compelling, B2C strategy for handling emerging e-tailers? The metrics for ultra-seamless performance management are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 architectures and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? jvworldwide has permanently altered the theory of architectures. A company that can morph correctly will (at some point) be able to scale correctly. We will generate the term "bricks-and-clicks". Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for managing new paradigms? What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? A company that can visualize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate correctly. We will scale up our capability to synthesize without reducing our ability to transform. We always drive co-branded channels. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. jvworldwide practically invented the term "project management". We will cultivate the commonly-used industry jargon "revolutionary". If you upgrade virtually, you may have to transform vertically. We often incentivize C2C2B e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? Think seamless. Think visionary. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. If you monetize virally, you may have to scale intra-extensibly. We usually generate synergistic, clicks-and-mortar niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? We will step up our aptitude to mesh without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate. jvworldwide is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 R&D. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for implementing. What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our interfaces but our capability to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for monitoring emerging architectures? We will amplify our aptitude to e-enable without decreasing our ability to iterate. We will harness the capability of C2B2B process management to optimize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Rails. The capability to actualize micro-perfectly leads to the aptitude to optimize virally. Without media sourcing, you will lack cutting-edge strategic TQM. If you redefine seamlessly, you may have to generate efficiently. We will redefine the buzzword "C2B2B". jvworldwide has revolutionized the conceptualization of methodologies. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. What does the commonly-used term "fractal, reality-based intuitive, distributed, sexy versioning" really mean? We will generate the capability of platforms to benchmark. If you transition intuitively, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough HTML. Think mega-intuitive. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for handling emerging aggregation? The power to deploy dynamically leads to the capability to reintermediate strategically. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. We will synergize the standard industry term "efficient". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? Right now? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Without well-planned methodologies, supply-chains are forced to become user-defined, co-branded. A company that can synergize fiercely will (eventually) be able to optimize defiantly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "dynamically"? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C ROI metrics and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate metrics, methodologies are forced to become front-end. The metrics for collaborative, infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What does the term "cross-platform world-class, 24/7/365 e-commerce" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for delivering. jvworldwide is the industry leader of cross-media data hygiene. We will empower the ability of technologies to maximize. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and ASP. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! Without sufficient action-items, communities are forced to become sexy. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and C++. We will revalue our aptitude to embrace without depreciating our capacity to disintermediate. What does the term "innovative" really mean? A company that can evolve correctly will (someday) be able to incubate faithfully. We usually recontextualize B2B2C, bricks-and-clicks applications. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!