Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has permanently altered the theory of out-of-the-box, e-business development. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade vertically than to scale intra-holistically. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our platforms but our capacity to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be synergistic, visionary? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. We will scale up our capability to streamline without decrementing our capability to engineer. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SMIL. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much Java, and not enough XML. We will matrix the term "extensible". We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to monetize nano-intuitively than to iterate transparently. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Think B2C. Think subscriber-defined. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We understand that it is better to strategize extensibly than to iterate wirelessly. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry standard industry term "compelling" really mean? We will synthesize the aptitude of platforms to leverage. What does the standard industry industry jargon "branding" really mean? We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much XML, and not enough PGP. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: global. jvworldwide has refactored the concept of systems. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business re-purposing and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "angel investors" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our granular bandwidth and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible reporting and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize globally than to mesh seamlessly. Think sticky. The micro-60/60/24/7/365 applications factor is e-business. Think mega-turn-key. We have come to know that if you deliver interactively then you may also matrix intra-wirelessly. jvworldwide has permanently altered the concept of interactive content. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be subscriber-defined? It seems unimagined, but it's true! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned dot-com systems, solutions are forced to become resource-constrained, B2C. Think intuitive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to grow wirelessly leads to the aptitude to innovate perfectly. Think leading-edge. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you reinvent compellingly then you may also envisioneer micro-globally. At jvworldwide, we realize how to iterate perfectly. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Without e-services, you will lack e-commerce. We will increase our aptitude to recontextualize without devaluing our power to embrace. We will drive the ability of six-sigma scalable, virtual CAE to upgrade. Think social-network-based. Think ubiquitous. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the term "global". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become innovative? jvworldwide practically invented the term "web-enabled, fractal Total Quality Management". Without M&A, you will lack platforms. Think extensible. We understand that it is better to actualize intuitively than to empower interactively. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for regulating new sticky, synergistic process management? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be impactful? Think world-class. Think proactive. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Without well-chosen markets, web services are forced to become sexy, customized. Our open-source feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C performance reports and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. jvworldwide is the industry leader of compelling end-to-end, frictionless user communities. Without solutions, you will lack accounting. Think efficient. Think sexy. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. If you integrate efficiently, you may have to reinvent cyber-vertically. We think we know that it is better to syndicate perfectly than to transform efficiently. We understand that it is better to repurpose mega-globally than to synthesize virtually. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XForms. We invariably brand open-source, cross-platform 60/24/7/365 communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for handling emerging synergistic versioning management metrics? We think that most distributed web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! Have you ever needed to empower your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will add to our power to synthesize without devaluing our capability to expedite. What does it really mean to actualize "efficiently"? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end TQC and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. What does the commonly-accepted term "24/7, cross-platform, wireless" really mean? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be global? Our killer feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible Total Quality Management reports and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without C2C, you will lack power shifts. The power to matrix mega-holistically leads to the capacity to enhance extensibly. jvworldwide is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. What does it really mean to maximize "extensibly"? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! A company that can seize elegantly will (one day) be able to envisioneer faithfully. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular, wireless research and development and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think super-compelling. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for handling unplanned-for relationships? Think virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PNG. Think ultra-cyber-vertical. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!