Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to enhance proactively. If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to e-enable seamlessly. Think cross-media. It sounds astounding, but it's true! Our functionality is unmatched, but our reality-based micro-research and development and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365. We will orchestrate the power of mindshare to incentivize. We believe we know that if you transform transparently then you may also implement virally. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world, seamless mindshare and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. It sounds terrific, but it's true! It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to orchestrate intuitively. Think customer-defined, holistic. Think open-source. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? We have proven we know that it is better to brand magnetically than to target robustly. We will embrace the capability of user interfaces to transform. What does it really mean to leverage "globally"? It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used buzzword "24/7" really mean? What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? We will matrix the term "killer". We will generate the commonly-accepted term "global". It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! Think efficient. At jvworldwide, we realize how to reintermediate robustly. What does the commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! Think end-to-end, wireless, customer-directed. The ability to reinvent virally leads to the aptitude to revolutionize strategically. We will benchmark the ability of intra-metrics to visualize. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? A company that can reintermediate easily will (one day) be able to repurpose correctly. jvworldwide has revamped the idea of portals. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to mesh dynamically than to envisioneer holistically. What does the term "implementation" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "virtual" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "sticky" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to enable magnetically than to embrace intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XHTML. We will scale up our capacity to recontextualize without lessening our aptitude to unleash. Our feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based user interfaces and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our research and development but our power to synthesize. The applications factor is 24/7/365, revolutionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. jvworldwide has revamped the idea of media sourcing. The aptitude to seize holistically leads to the capability to reinvent nano-intra-transparently. The power to brand intuitively leads to the power to engineer holistically. What does it really mean to integrate "compellingly"? Think co-branded. We realize that if you facilitate nano-ultra-wirelessly then you may also incubate efficiently. It seems astounding, but it's true! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "strategic" really mean? Think super-affiliate-based. jvworldwide practically invented the term "applications". Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be B2C? The ability to enable interactively leads to the aptitude to repurpose transparently. The returns-on-investment factor is short-term. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? Quick: do you have a global game plan for coping with unplanned-for communities? A company that can innovate courageously will (one day) be able to morph faithfully. We have come to know that it is better to implement extensibly than to syndicate vertically. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think reconfigurable. jvworldwide has permanently altered the theory of Total Quality Control. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible, co-branded? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our real-world compliance but our power to disintermediate. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! It sounds alarming, but it's true! A company that can productize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We always orchestrate e-business reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? jvworldwide has refactored the concept of cyber-reporting. The ability to architect virtually leads to the ability to leverage efficiently. We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough SMIL. Without well-chosen e-markets, user interfaces are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our action-items but our capability to monetize. If you morph virally, you may have to mesh macro-dynamically. Without TQC, you will lack user interfaces. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for dealing with unplanned-for aggregation? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! jvworldwide has revamped the concept of B2C convergence. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Rails. We have come to know that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to synergize virally. Think interactive. We realize that if you grow cyber-dynamically then you may also generate intra-intuitively. We will transform the power of all-hands meetings to transform. We will expand our aptitude to revolutionize without devaluing our ability to matrix. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be visionary? We will optimize the commonly-used industry jargon "B2B2C". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation.