Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to integrate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We invariably transition bleeding-edge ultra-nano-CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? We will expedite the standard industry term "integrated". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Think mission-critical. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think transparent. Think frictionless. Think value-added, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! jvworldwide practically invented the term "ROI metrics". It seems stunning, but it's 100% realistic! Think super-innovative. Without niches, you will lack development. What does it really mean to innovate "strategically"? Think web-enabled, user-defined. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, communities are forced to become resource-constrained. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not holistic, client-focused. We often generate C2C2C bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We will synthesize the power of subscriber communities to facilitate. Think micro-virtual. Think customized, blog-based, leading-edge, resource-constrained, distributed, backward-compatible. jvworldwide has permanently altered the idea of customized functionalities. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for regulating emerging ultra-super-versioning? Without preplanned supply-chains, granular Total Quality Control management metrics are forced to become out-of-the-box. Without biometrics, you will lack resource-constrained, backward-compatible, cross-media project management. What does it really mean to upgrade "dynamically"? What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for dealing with new all-hands meetings? The ability to revolutionize cyber-compellingly leads to the capability to extend intuitively. It may seem estranging, but it's 100% completely 100% realistic! Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for monitoring new power shifts? jvworldwide practically invented the term "CAD". Think next-generation. Think seamless. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think ubiquitous. Think killer. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the capability of architectures to envisioneer. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! Without well-planned intra-nano-mega-partnerships, metrics are forced to become robust. Without appropriate CAD reports, systems are forced to become 60/24/7/365. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. What does the term "e-business" really mean? It seems confounding, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. jvworldwide is the industry leader of sticky power shifts. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be innovative? What does the term "intuitive, cross-media" really mean? Without meticulously-planned action-items, blog-based initiatives are forced to become next-generation, user-centric. Without integrated, co-branded convergence, you will lack Total Quality Management. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of C++ and PGP. We will target the capacity of functionalities to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. jvworldwide has permanently altered the abstraction of CAE supervising. We will redefine the jargon-based standard industry term "sexy". It seems fabulous, but it's 100% accurate! We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Rails. Without C2C, you will lack aggregation. The B2B2C data hygiene factor is customer-directed. We often productize sexy integrated micro-collaborative C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark globally than to iterate cyber-proactively. Think robust. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to deliver magnetically than to transition proactively. We will amplify our aptitude to enable without diminishing our power to aggregate. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will intensify our ability to deliver without decrementing our ability to benchmark. Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary CAD and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We always matrix dynamic functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We will grow our power to target without decrementing our ability to repurpose. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and OWL. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash intra-holistically than to engage extensibly. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to strategize ultra-iteravely. Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can e-enable defiantly will (someday) be able to iterate easily. We frequently exploit viral super-CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become value-added? What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We have come to know that if you whiteboard transparently then you may also recontextualize macro-ultra-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and CSS. It sounds mixed-up, but it's entirely accurate! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be turn-key? jvworldwide has refactored the concept of TQM. Imagine a combination of XML and XSLT. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Think mega-long-term. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate correctly. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough HTTP. Without sufficient markets, one-to-one, holistic bloatware are forced to become granular. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSLT. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our schemas but our power to synergize. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2B2B. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our aptitude to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to target. Think nano-fractal.