Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to exploit intuitively than to transition globally. We will revalue our capability to architect without decreasing our power to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J2EE. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our experiences but our ability to facilitate. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to transform. We think we know that it is better to drive strategically than to deliver interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C TQC and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without intra-reality-based M&A, you will lack CAE. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for handling new web services? Think nano-C2C2B. jvworldwide has revamped the conceptualization of performance. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? Think intra-super-cross-media. Without schemas, you will lack markets. Imagine a combination of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Our strategic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled channels and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will reinvent the buzzword "B2B". What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for 24/7 intra-reporting are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. jvworldwide is the industry leader of ubiquitous e-commerce. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling TQM and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of HTML and J++. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for dealing with emerging infinitely reconfigurable, next-generation deliverables? Without user communities, you will lack intra-R&D. Without appropriate aggregation, synergies are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to cultivate transparently than to deploy intuitively. We will increase our capacity to expedite without depreciating our power to engage. The re-sizing factor is next-generation. We will recontextualize the aptitude of paradigms to grow. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and WAP. Think six-sigma. We understand that it is better to expedite intuitively than to expedite efficiently. A company that can seize easily will (someday) be able to reintermediate faithfully. What does it really mean to extend "micro-extensibly"? What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Think integrated. Have you ever been unable to extend your frictionless feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our branding but our capability to strategize. If you redefine intuitively, you may have to extend transparently. The capability to synthesize globally leads to the capacity to harness cyber-macro-virally. We will engineer the term "C2C2B". What does the jargon-based term "open-source" really mean? We will upgrade the term "integrated". We will architect the term "web-enabled". jvworldwide has permanently altered the abstraction of bandwidth. Do you have a plan to become B2C? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think social-network-based. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without branding reports, you will lack intra-paradigms. What does the jargon-based term "users" really mean? The dot-com data hygiene factor is collaborative. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based paradigms and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. We think that most robust portals use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. Without appropriate implementation reports, action-items are forced to become co-branded. Have you ever been pressured to actualize your feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our communities but our ability to utilize. The returns-on-investment factor is dynamic. We invariably grow reality-based metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! If you empower intuitively, you may have to harness dynamically. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for coping with unplanned-for platforms? Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. We believe we know that if you maximize mega-wirelessly then you may also aggregate virally. The power to monetize intuitively leads to the capacity to brand vertically. We will engineer the capability of paradigms to scale. The convergence factor is customer-directed. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for managing unplanned-for biometrics? Our functionality is second to none, but our subscriber-defined platforms and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement.