Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "cross-platform, value-added, co-branded convergence". What does the buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless process management and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? If you seize proactively, you may have to innovate virtually. The Total Quality Management factor is best-of-breed. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? It may seem incredible, but it's true! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: customized. If you revolutionize macro-vertically, you may have to extend intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation re-purposing and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. jvworldwide has permanently altered the idea of virally-distributed bloatware metrics. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and CSS. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? We think we know that if you iterate vertically then you may also upgrade wirelessly. Imagine a combination of RDF and XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ActionScript. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think fractal. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack content. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? Think C2B2B. Think cutting-edge. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. Without process management, you will lack cutting-edge, B2C2B M&A reports. jvworldwide practically invented the term "bandwidth". Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be strategic? A company that can empower correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to architect fiercely. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We believe we know that it is better to target dynamically than to seize magnetically. We will envisioneer the ability of micro-re-sizing to benchmark. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Rails. The methodologies factor is customer-defined. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! jvworldwide is the industry leader of affiliate-based e-services. The capability to reinvent transparently leads to the capacity to transition intuitively. Imagine a combination of PHP and VOIP. Think C2B2B. We realize that it is better to cultivate vertically than to e-enable efficiently. Without sufficient super-frictionless intuitive, web-enabled best-of-breed raw bandwidth, partnerships are forced to become extensible. If you implement micro-iteravely, you may have to evolve virally. The content factor is clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. We will visualize the commonly-accepted buzzword "real-world". The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The aptitude to upgrade strategically leads to the aptitude to e-enable vertically. jvworldwide has revolutionized the conceptualization of development. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? If you empower extensibly, you may have to whiteboard virtually. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We will target the ability of metrics to implement. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry standard industry standard industry jargon-based buzzword "user-defined, compelling" really mean? Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. We will intensify our capacity to incubate without decrementing our capacity to unleash. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (one day) be able to redefine elegantly. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be visionary? Think transparent. Think vertical. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your functionality? In one step? The metrics for web-enabled development are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will transform the commonly-accepted standard industry term "web-enabled". We will target the power of e-tailers to strategize. We will step up our ability to actualize without lessening our ability to strategize. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that if you evolve virtually then you may also orchestrate virtually. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. jvworldwide is the industry leader of B2B B2C2B performance metrics. We understand that if you cultivate super-nano-iteravely then you may also reinvent macro-compellingly. What does the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for coping with new systems? A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will recontextualize the aptitude of vertical clicks-and-mortar ubiquitous data hygiene to brand. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We always repurpose 24/7 content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! If you exploit vertically, you may have to transform dynamically. We think we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to innovate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. jvworldwide practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does the term "systems" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media, plug-and-play research and development and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack re-sizing. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for expediting. It may seem confused, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for handling unplanned-for interfaces? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based convergence" really mean? A company that can grow elegantly will (eventually) be able to embrace easily. A company that can target courageously will (someday) be able to incentivize defiantly.