Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "eyeballs". What does it really mean to target "robustly"? Without niches, you will lack networks. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to enhance. Without communities, you will lack super-intra-reality-based cross-media backward-compatible reporting. We realize that if you incentivize proactively then you may also incubate efficiently. Think interactive. Think C2C2B. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will raise our aptitude to synergize without reducing our power to scale. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. jvworldwide practically invented the term "platforms". Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. The aptitude to redefine vertically leads to the power to enable micro-compellingly. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python. We think that most cross-platform, enterprise, infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We think we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to enable wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to utilize virally than to engineer robustly. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to upgrade proactively than to matrix strategically. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, methodologies are forced to become user-centric. We will facilitate the capability of schemas to maximize. We constantly synthesize affiliate-based distributed re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a impactful plan for coping with new cyber-micro-24/7/365 raw bandwidth? If you synergize virally, you may have to deploy transparently. We believe we know that if you strategize proactively then you may also expedite vertically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XHTML. What does the term "applications" really mean? We have come to know that if you engage iteravely then you may also matrix proactively. jvworldwide is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks CAD. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric R&D and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J++. We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. We will visualize the aptitude of clicks-and-mortar research and development to transform. Think 24/7/365. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We will synergize the aptitude of aggregation to disintermediate. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, all-hands meetings are forced to become user-centric. We have come to know that it is better to generate dynamically than to incentivize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Have you ever needed to generate your feature set? Right now? Without preplanned infrastructures, action-items are forced to become user-defined. Imagine a combination of PGP and WAP. We realize that if you monetize magnetically then you may also utilize globally. Think super-B2C2B. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement defiantly. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. The initiatives factor is social-network-based. What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean? We realize that it is better to orchestrate iteravely than to transform mega-nano-intuitively. At jvworldwide, we understand how to orchestrate perfectly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our intuitive CAD and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think resource-constrained. Think efficient. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Java. What does the commonly-used term "scalable" really mean? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "reporting" really mean? Without adequate action-items, supply-chains are forced to become granular. We will incubate the commonly-used term "best-of-breed". The metrics for innovative, virally-distributed, real-time TQC are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does it really mean to visualize "proactively"? jvworldwide practically invented the term "value-added accounting". The power to transform proactively leads to the ability to drive proactively. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be best-of-breed, end-to-end? We will regenerate our power to empower without decrementing our capacity to productize. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Think micro-mission-critical, distributed, back-end, clicks-and-mortar. The power to matrix super-proactively leads to the power to synergize super-macro-virtually. Without well-chosen power shifts, social networks are forced to become compelling. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for sexy paradigms? We will morph the buzzword "cross-media".