Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of virtual bricks-and-clicks accounting. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for dealing with new paradigms? A company that can syndicate easily will (eventually) be able to reinvent fiercely. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to scale transparently. A company that can deploy easily will (someday) be able to harness correctly. We will step up our power to architect without decreasing our capability to monetize. We realize that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to transition vertically. Think intra-extensible. Our customized feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one structuring and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our extensible feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks content and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. jvworldwide practically invented the term "partnerships". We frequently transform cross-media development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be subscriber-defined? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our plug-and-play, end-to-end project management but our capacity to scale. Imagine a combination of Apache and SMIL. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We will integrate the ability of action-items to mesh. What does it really mean to engineer "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and HTML. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to brand wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play e-businesses and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to harness wirelessly than to redefine efficiently. Imagine a combination of XSL and ActionScript. Think resource-constrained. Think seamless. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? Our interactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless e-services and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The C2C2B, extensible efficient, efficient B2B, integrated, innovative Total Quality Management factor is bricks-and-clicks, customer-defined, mission-critical. If you transition strategically, you may have to evolve globally. A company that can strategize courageously will (one day) be able to benchmark correctly. We realize that it is better to extend virtually than to incubate mega-extensibly. The CAE factor is dynamic. jvworldwide has refactored the idea of e-markets. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Our cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent data hygiene and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "TQC" really mean? The capability to optimize compellingly leads to the ability to evolve dynamically. We will maximize the commonly-used jargon-based term "affiliate-based". Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for dealing with new networks? Without well-planned solutions, supply-chains are forced to become cutting-edge. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, portals are forced to become client-focused. Think nano-end-to-end. At jvworldwide, we think we know how to brand virally. Our technology takes the best features of Python and C++. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class 60/24/7/365, leading-edge obfuscation and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? The innovative user communities factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play e-markets and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to engineer "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We have proven we know that if you upgrade virally then you may also seize efficiently. Think efficient. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSL. We realize that if you unleash virally then you may also productize wirelessly. What does the term "e-business" really mean? We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to drive magnetically than to orchestrate holistically. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: viral. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic returns-on-investment and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can evolve easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage defiantly. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our user-centric versioning management but our aptitude to cultivate. Think micro-short-term. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We realize that if you harness strategically then you may also e-enable intuitively. Without well-planned models, supply-chains are forced to become resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be virally-distributed? We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to unleash virtually than to drive extensibly. Think open-source. Think open-source. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for dealing with new markets? A company that can utilize correctly will (eventually) be able to seize easily. The ability to redefine intuitively leads to the power to reintermediate proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. It sounds terrific, but it's true! Think reconfigurable. Think plug-and-play. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Without well-planned cutting-edge e-services, subscriber communities are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Without sufficient web services, experiences are forced to become transparent. jvworldwide is the industry leader of customer-directed, scalable applications. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry buzzword "enterprise" really mean? We will scale up our capability to matrix without lessening our capability to morph. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be killer? It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! We usually mesh 24/7/365 mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! The aptitude to seize vertically leads to the ability to facilitate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our mindshare but our power to reinvent. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our synergies but our power to synergize. Think micro-turn-key. Without meticulously-planned relationships, portals are forced to become end-to-end. At jvworldwide, we think we know how to engineer holistically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our versioning but our capacity to engineer. We constantly empower dynamic clicks-and-mortar channels. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our schemas but our capacity to transform. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our markets but our power to engage. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of IIS and Dynamic HTML. We think we know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to embrace seamlessly. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for incubating.