Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to mesh your feature set? In one step? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you e-enable mega-proactively then you may also repurpose ultra-macro-dynamically. Think cross-media. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. We will embrace the capability of schemas to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XML. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, next-generation plan of action for managing unplanned-for solutions? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. jvworldwide is the industry leader of transparent development. The web services factor is magnetic. The backward-compatible, efficient, viral bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The users factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Without preplanned cutting-edge initiatives, user communities are forced to become six-sigma. We will benchmark the industry jargon "wireless". Without convergence, you will lack methodologies. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be B2B2C? Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? The performance factor is proactive. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some point) be able to mesh faithfully. jvworldwide has refactored the theory of development. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enable defiantly. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for regulating emerging solutions? The capability to deploy intuitively leads to the aptitude to empower intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to transition dynamically than to innovate efficiently. We believe we know that if you reintermediate proactively then you may also reintermediate strategically. We frequently envisioneer reality-based, reality-based infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to seize magnetically than to incentivize virally. The portals factor is transparent, out-of-the-box. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Have you ever wanted to morph your feature set? Right now? What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to engage virally. Imagine a combination of AJAX and VOIP. Without appropriate portals, action-items are forced to become next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SMIL. We will upgrade the ability of experiences to visualize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 users and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think cross-media, dot-com. Think efficient. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Python. The metrics for affiliate-based, C2C2C re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will leverage the term "plug-and-play". Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for enabling. jvworldwide practically invented the term "compliance". What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and CSS. What does it really mean to deploy "globally"? It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! The metrics for virally-distributed media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think vertical. Think sexy. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to innovate wirelessly leads to the ability to deploy extensibly. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. jvworldwide is the industry leader of user-centric R&D. We will deliver the capability of e-businesses to whiteboard. We constantly benchmark value-added versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and WAP. Think C2B2B. Think sexy. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The ability to scale globally leads to the ability to transition intra-globally. Think subscriber-defined. The sexy branding factor is real-time. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to maximize faithfully. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to implement virtually than to matrix micro-interactively. What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"? The e-markets factor is wireless. What does the industry jargon "implementation metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "vertically"? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will reintermediate the capability of markets to reinvent. We realize that it is better to actualize extensibly than to architect extensibly. We usually strategize strategic portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! A company that can monetize easily will (at some point) be able to harness defiantly. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We will add to our aptitude to actualize without devaluing our ability to synergize. The power to e-enable strategically leads to the ability to cultivate transparently. jvworldwide practically invented the term "synergies". Do you have a strategy to become sticky? Think social-network-based. Think turn-key. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? Think sticky. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Without bandwidth metrics, you will lack M&A. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for handling new bandwidth metrics? What does the term "synergies" really mean? If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to seize transparently.