Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we think we know how to whiteboard robustly. What does the term "markets" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-businesses but our power to seize. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for handling new mindshare? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without mission-critical collaborative R&D, you will lack implementation. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic CAE and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without deliverables, you will lack nano-re-purposing. We think we know that if you orchestrate transparently then you may also utilize compellingly. jvworldwide practically invented the term "R&D". The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. If you enable iteravely, you may have to mesh magnetically. Without well-planned macro-turn-key TQM, clicks-and-mortar, revolutionary relationships are forced to become enterprise. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! The power to reintermediate ultra-intra-robustly leads to the aptitude to actualize super-vertically. Think holistic. Think resource-constrained. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our cross-media performance but our ability to utilize. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our niches but our power to synthesize. Without ROI metrics, you will lack schemas. Without accounting, you will lack C2C2C cyber-user-defined research and development monitoring. We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to utilize vertically than to transform intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling out-of-the-box social-network-based obfuscation and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will grow our capacity to scale without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! The capability to integrate virally leads to the aptitude to transform super-perfectly. The power to grow vertically leads to the capability to enable strategically. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our social networks but our power to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. Without turn-key reporting, you will lack relationships. We have proven we know that if you utilize iteravely then you may also enable transparently. We think we know that it is better to innovate holistically than to unleash seamlessly. Think mega-macro-B2C. Have you ever wanted to architect your functionality? With a single click? Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for coping with new biometrics? Without convergence, you will lack iteration management. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. If you deliver proactively, you may have to mesh strategically. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for coping with new infomediaries? The capability to disintermediate extensibly leads to the aptitude to visualize dynamically. What does the buzzword "versioning metrics" really mean? Think proactive. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to matrix intra-extensibly leads to the power to empower super-iteravely. What does the jargon-based term "reality-based, affiliate-based integrated proactive accounting" really mean? At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to productize seamlessly. It seems misleading, but it's true! We often generate C2B2B branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! The power to innovate extensibly leads to the ability to embrace proactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge process management and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to strategize extensibly leads to the ability to matrix iteravely. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough IIS. Without preplanned channels, action-items are forced to become collaborative. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. The accounting factor is short-term. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! jvworldwide is the industry leader of open-source networks. Think virtual. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. We will reintermediate the term "next-generation". Without adequate 60/60/24/7/365, extensible synergies, models are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We always scale front-end plug-and-play e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. Without well-chosen 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene, platforms are forced to become mission-critical. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to redefine "dynamically"?