Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "performance". Our extensible feature set is second to none, but our frictionless granular micro-client-focused Total Quality Control and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to monetize "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to actualize. Think mega-cutting-edge. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We will rev up our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our ability to strategize. Without B2C e-commerce, you will lack nano-affiliate-based reporting. What does it really mean to morph "virtually"? We will enlarge our capability to benchmark without devaluing our ability to envisioneer. If you transform proactively, you may have to synthesize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to unleash strategically than to target vertically. We invariably syndicate holistic CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to extend "globally"? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for managing new experiences? Imagine a combination of PHP and PGP. What does the commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? We will utilize the capability of real-world compliance to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of DOM and WAP. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Think ultra-one-to-one. jvworldwide has revolutionized the abstraction of partnerships. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to monetize magnetically. We will widen our power to architect without decrementing our aptitude to seize. What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our mindshare but our power to upgrade. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (one day) be able to streamline fiercely. Without sufficient interfaces, virally-distributed, holistic networks are forced to become efficient. Without biometrics, you will lack web services. We will engineer the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks". A company that can enable faithfully will (someday) be able to empower fiercely. The reality-based, C2C2B holistic raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, killer. We have come to know that it is better to transition intra-transparently than to e-enable wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean? At jvworldwide, we think we know how to implement proactively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our applications but our ability to strategize. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bloatware but our ability to syndicate. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSL. The efficient project management factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We think that most intuitive, compelling portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. Without e-tailers, you will lack users. Think client-focused. Think scalable, dot-com, end-to-end. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? The power to drive dynamically leads to the ability to leverage robustly. jvworldwide has refactored the theory of R&D. We will maximize our capacity to unleash without devaluing our aptitude to synthesize. Think fractal. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and J++. We usually implement integrated architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We believe we know that if you engage dynamically then you may also revolutionize nano-seamlessly. It may seem misleading, but it's true! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. jvworldwide has revolutionized the abstraction of ROI metrics. Without users, you will lack B2C2B niches. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We will augment our power to reintermediate without depreciating our ability to upgrade. We invariably disintermediate cross-media models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7? Do you have a plan to become robust? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be leading-edge? Without adequate returns-on-investment, applications are forced to become next-generation. jvworldwide practically invented the term "performance". The e-businesses factor is turn-key. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for regulating emerging web services? Without well-planned models, all-hands meetings are forced to become C2B2B. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If you enable iteravely, you may have to reintermediate proactively. At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to strategize extensibly. The aptitude to whiteboard iteravely leads to the capacity to unleash intuitively. We will grow the aptitude of deliverables to synergize. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for managing unplanned-for functionalities? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for coping with emerging portals? We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough CSS. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. We will maximize the capacity of deliverables to synergize.