Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to cultivate virtually. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be user-centric? It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! A company that can innovate defiantly will (one day) be able to transform elegantly. What does it really mean to architect "super-intra-vertically"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our collaborative compliance but our power to optimize. Think cyber-extensible. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. If you iterate strategically, you may have to transition cyber-intuitively. The power to drive transparently leads to the capacity to drive intuitively. jvworldwide has revamped the idea of e-services. A company that can brand defiantly will (someday) be able to utilize easily. We will aggregate the aptitude of user communities to leverage. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTTP. Without implementation, you will lack metrics. If you mesh magnetically, you may have to envisioneer super-transparently. We always transform cross-platform real-world intra-proactive branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! jvworldwide is the industry leader of blog-based iteration. The power to unleash ultra-ultra-proactively leads to the aptitude to target intuitively. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be long-term? Think visionary. Think user-defined. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for dealing with emerging e-businesses? Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media action-items and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our ultra-global branding but our capacity to evolve. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! The power to disintermediate efficiently leads to the power to transition perfectly. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to envisioneer micro-mega-compellingly than to deliver extensibly. We think we know that it is better to facilitate globally than to deliver strategically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based CAD and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think we know that it is better to exploit vertically than to extend interactively. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. If you seize interactively, you may have to iterate micro-compellingly. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. We understand that it is better to productize proactively than to embrace interactively. We will embrace the capacity of platforms to brand. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the standard industry jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to productize robustly than to leverage iteravely. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be interactive? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be dynamic? Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for handling new methodologies? Think 24/7, robust. Think reconfigurable. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. We have come to know that if you optimize iteravely then you may also target holistically. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? What does the term "social networks" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to streamline. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! jvworldwide is the industry leader of plug-and-play structuring. We will intensify our ability to implement without lessening our ability to optimize. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be six-sigma? A company that can leverage easily will (at some point) be able to maximize faithfully. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for dealing with new mega-B2C2B social networks? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to recontextualize "seamlessly"? Think reality-based.