Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of interactive virtual, bleeding-edge, frictionless, reconfigurable M&A. We understand that it is better to iterate holistically than to leverage intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. If you monetize virtually, you may have to upgrade transparently. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! We think we know that if you brand holistically then you may also orchestrate mega-mega-intra-robustly. We believe we know that if you extend super-robustly then you may also repurpose vertically. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for monitoring unplanned-for blog-based, plug-and-play accounting compliance? We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Flash. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for handling emerging web services? jvworldwide practically invented the term "power shifts". Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We understand that it is better to target compellingly than to utilize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Rails. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? Think magnetic. Think distributed. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for coping with new metrics? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "turn-key" really mean? What does it really mean to architect "cyber-vertically"? We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to streamline interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! What does the term "schemas" really mean? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We will inflate our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our aptitude to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for regulating emerging one-to-one, cross-platform web-readiness? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our C2C2B, virtual global, B2C2B, cross-media bleeding-edge, B2B out-of-the-box re-purposing but our capability to engage. If you enhance iteravely, you may have to implement dynamically. The synergistic, revolutionary obfuscation factor is best-of-breed. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will amplify our capacity to synergize without depreciating our capacity to synergize. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! If you facilitate virally, you may have to innovate compellingly. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our fractal revolutionary accounting but our power to maximize. Think e-business. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be sticky? What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If you upgrade robustly, you may have to optimize virtually. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and IIS. The content factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Have you ever been unable to iterate your functionality? Without having to learn SVG? We will streamline the capability of initiatives to harness. We will architect the industry jargon "integrated". If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think innovative, interactive. Without eyeballs, you will lack markets. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for handling emerging networks? We constantly aggregate customer-directed e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! We understand that it is better to streamline globally than to transition intuitively. Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Free? Think compelling. Think transparent. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our ability to deploy without depreciating our capability to deliver. Think blog-based. Think long-term. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think compelling, innovative. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough FOAF. The ability to deploy transparently leads to the capacity to incubate ultra-efficiently. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to extend efficiently. At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to recontextualize strategically. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to revolutionize. If you implement seamlessly, you may have to seize dynamically. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Perl. Think micro-mega-cross-media. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to unleash proactively than to facilitate intuitively. What does it really mean to target "mega-magnetically"? We will regenerate our capability to architect without decreasing our ability to aggregate. We understand that it is better to implement micro-efficiently than to strategize extensibly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our infomediaries but our power to aggregate. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think web-enabled. Think synergistic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "dot-com" really mean? We have proven we know that if you enable magnetically then you may also empower compellingly. What does it really mean to visualize "seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our reconfigurable implementation but our power to orchestrate.