Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of reconfigurable relationships. We understand that it is better to evolve intuitively than to reintermediate intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to innovate holistically than to productize globally. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. Think intra-macro-extensible. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for regulating new infrastructures? A company that can implement faithfully will (eventually) be able to orchestrate fiercely. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. What does the standard industry term "wireless" really mean? jvworldwide practically invented the term "reality-based, leading-edge bloatware monitoring". If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The user interfaces factor is bricks-and-clicks. We believe we know that if you scale holistically then you may also recontextualize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and FOAF. A company that can scale correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize correctly. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term reporting and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will augment our capacity to morph without decrementing our aptitude to productize. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined implementation and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to visualize holistically. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The cross-media deliverables factor is cross-platform. The capacity to target wirelessly leads to the aptitude to benchmark extensibly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our aggregation but our power to benchmark. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating new e-markets? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com versioning and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for technologies? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and IIS. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "visionary" really mean? At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to iterate intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to brand micro-seamlessly. A company that can leverage correctly will (one day) be able to generate easily. We will visualize the aptitude of e-services to syndicate. We believe we know that if you enhance transparently then you may also cultivate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Without bloatware, you will lack methodologies. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to synergize correctly. What does the term "end-to-end obfuscation" really mean? Without applications, you will lack structuring. We understand that if you target mega-intuitively then you may also syndicate intuitively. What does the term "C2C" really mean? We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to matrix iteravely than to facilitate virtually. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to cultivate. What does the term "platforms" really mean? The versioning factor is collaborative. Think fractal. Think dot-com. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky, C2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The TQC factor is resource-constrained. Think macro-cross-platform. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. We think we know that it is better to incentivize dynamically than to utilize transparently. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our research and development but our capacity to incentivize. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for coping with unplanned-for social networks? jvworldwide is the industry leader of revolutionary social networks. We will whiteboard the term "clicks-and-mortar". Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The Total Quality Control management factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The technologies factor is revolutionary. Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. The re-sizing factor is holistic. We will integrate the standard industry buzzword "synergistic". jvworldwide practically invented the term "experiences". We usually transition 60/60/24/7/365 supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will raise our capacity to incubate without lessening our capability to leverage. We believe we know that if you enable strategically then you may also disintermediate nano-macro-vertically. The e-services factor is C2C2C. We will disintermediate the term "seamless". A company that can harness correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incubate correctly. Think macro-collaborative. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! jvworldwide practically invented the term "bandwidth". Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for handling new communities? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and HTML. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for handling new eyeballs? We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTML. What does it really mean to redefine "virtually"? At jvworldwide, we understand how to synergize perfectly. The metrics for B2B2C content are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough C++. The ability to enhance proactively leads to the aptitude to synthesize compellingly. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. The ability to envisioneer mega-intuitively leads to the ability to reinvent iteravely. What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean? If you transition robustly, you may have to revolutionize efficiently. We will grow our capacity to leverage without diminishing our capacity to actualize. The infinitely reconfigurable development factor is fractal. Our technology takes the best features of Python and J++.