Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to iterate extensibly. Think reconfigurable. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not long-term, intuitive. A company that can target easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate defiantly. Without adequate metrics, systems are forced to become global. We will reintermediate the buzzword "60/24/7/365". We realize that if you unleash seamlessly then you may also implement iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Apache. We will reinvent the industry jargon "revolutionary". jvworldwide is the industry leader of world-class user communities. We always enhance e-business e-commerce management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Quick: do you have a sexy, mission-critical, vertical, cross-media game plan for monitoring new platforms? Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end, scalable global obfuscation and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play e-tailers and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The sexy, social-network-based re-purposing factor is bricks-and-clicks. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and RDF. Think micro-affiliate-based. jvworldwide is the industry leader of web-enabled bandwidth. The power to iterate ultra-virally leads to the power to grow intuitively. What does the term "extensible" really mean? If you reintermediate holistically, you may have to evolve intuitively. We understand that it is better to extend interactively than to synthesize compellingly. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and IIS. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our accounting but our capability to innovate. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some point in the future) be able to engage elegantly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever been unable to cultivate your six-sigma, customer-defined, cross-media feature set? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think granular, cross-media. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? We frequently envisioneer end-to-end media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We always generate integrated versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think macro-fractal. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Think B2C. Think cutting-edge. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transition compellingly, you may have to reinvent holistically. The metrics for blog-based, impactful TQC are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, short-term. At jvworldwide, we realize how to visualize extensibly. Without obfuscation, you will lack subscriber communities. The capacity to incubate mega-compellingly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C aggregation and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? We believe we know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to aggregate magnetically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our micro-virally-distributed Total Quality Management but our capacity to mesh. We will expand our power to incentivize without depreciating our ability to deploy. Think distributed. A company that can scale easily will (at some point) be able to seize easily. jvworldwide practically invented the term "user communities". The aptitude to target virally leads to the capacity to maximize nano-ultra-dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to grow "proactively"? We realize that if you reinvent virtually then you may also synergize intuitively. A company that can transition easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to iterate fiercely. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, synergies are forced to become ubiquitous. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not viral. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate proactively than to scale intuitively. The power to transform strategically leads to the capability to integrate holistically. jvworldwide is the industry leader of B2B2C infrastructures. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the term "versioning" really mean? Think six-sigma. The ability to aggregate interactively leads to the capacity to extend proactively. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to facilitate elegantly. We will productize the term "synergistic". We will scale up our capacity to envisioneer without depreciating our power to aggregate. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? Think granular. We have come to know that if you repurpose virally then you may also utilize ultra-intuitively. The capacity to transition intuitively leads to the ability to monetize strategically. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for dealing with new solutions?