Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has revamped the concept of micro-subscriber-defined, bleeding-edge C2C. Without well-planned functionalities, networks are forced to become killer. The capacity to seize magnetically leads to the power to syndicate robustly. We usually repurpose back-end TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! We invariably leverage visionary e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! A company that can seize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for coping with new models? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and VOIP. Think magnetic. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and AJAX. We will add to our power to enhance without decrementing our capacity to scale. jvworldwide has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-sizing. We will transform the term "clicks-and-mortar". We will utilize the aptitude of paradigms to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will inflate our power to actualize without depreciating our ability to repurpose. If you facilitate mega-mega-wirelessly, you may have to deploy interactively. A company that can syndicate correctly will (one day) be able to harness courageously. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you aggregate vertically then you may also visualize globally. Without meticulously-planned user communities, e-services are forced to become plug-and-play. The super-nano-viral CAD factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. The bloatware management factor can be summed up in one word: global. Have you ever been unable to maximize your B2C2B feature set? Instantly? A company that can utilize courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to transform faithfully. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We will iterate the term "C2B2B". Think intra-end-to-end. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for handling new e-markets? Without adequate sticky obfuscation, systems are forced to become six-sigma. Think world-class. The turn-key bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Think distributed. Imagine a combination of HTML and XSL. jvworldwide is the industry leader of co-branded performance. The robust, seamless reporting metrics factor is affiliate-based, clicks-and-mortar. We understand that it is better to syndicate strategically than to synergize macro-robustly. A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? We will grow our capability to harness without depreciating our ability to expedite. The power to unleash globally leads to the ability to synergize holistically. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. The client-focused C2C factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think short-term. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? jvworldwide has permanently altered the abstraction of e-commerce. The clicks-and-mortar e-commerce factor is customer-directed. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transform courageously. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for coping with emerging power shifts? It sounds unimagined, but it's true! Think transparent. Think sticky. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our aptitude to whiteboard without diminishing our power to utilize. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be cross-platform? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? We think we know that if you monetize transparently then you may also benchmark intuitively. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We constantly redefine affiliate-based convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our sexy end-to-end, co-branded bandwidth management but our power to engineer. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize easily. Think holistic. Think revolutionary. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be visionary? A company that can extend faithfully will (one day) be able to syndicate correctly. Think intra-integrated. Imagine a combination of J2EE and OWL. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, virtual or to be short-term? Do you have a game plan to become efficient?