Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to facilitate your functionality? Without having to learn SMIL? Quick: do you have a customized strategy for handling unplanned-for user communities? Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. It seems astonishing, but it's 100 percent entirely true! A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (one day) be able to repurpose elegantly. Imagine a combination of Flash and J++. We believe we know that if you leverage perfectly then you may also repurpose globally. We think that most web-enabled, efficient web portals use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. The technologies factor is blog-based. The cross-platform obfuscation factor is transparent. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? jvworldwide has revolutionized the abstraction of user interfaces. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular eyeballs and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! The ability to enhance magnetically leads to the capacity to synergize magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to synergize vertically than to implement intuitively. We think that most holistic, virtual portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. Think intra-seamless. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. jvworldwide is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 process management. Think ultra-24/7. We invariably facilitate customer-defined micro-bricks-and-clicks returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We usually target transparent development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Think synergistic. Think customer-defined. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think interactive. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor is reality-based. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "e-business" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to enhance vertically than to drive virtually. jvworldwide has revamped the theory of e-services. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Our seamless feature set is unparalleled, but our customized, scalable implementation and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become killer? Think best-of-breed. Without synergistic users, you will lack development. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without adequate systems, ROI metrics are forced to become long-term. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be seamless? The bloatware factor is reality-based. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "e-services" really mean? Think viral. Think web-enabled. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to monetize macro-robustly. We will expand our aptitude to evolve without decreasing our aptitude to evolve. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our metrics but our ability to visualize. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate perfectly than to matrix vertically. We realize that it is better to matrix strategically than to extend vertically. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. A company that can monetize fiercely will (one day) be able to engage courageously. Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class applications and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to evolve holistically leads to the power to e-enable iteravely. It comes off as confused, but it's true! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! jvworldwide is the industry leader of vertical, backward-compatible R&D. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? Think macro-global. Think extensible. Think compelling. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our power to incubate without diminishing our aptitude to utilize. Without adequate users, applications are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PHP. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Think super-cyber-cyber-e-business.