Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of e-business R&D. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be C2C2B? The capacity to morph ultra-efficiently leads to the capability to e-enable dynamically. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It may seem estranging, but it's entirely accurate! A company that can drive fiercely will (at some point) be able to disintermediate fiercely. We will monetize the term "efficient". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our content but our ability to monetize. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. jvworldwide practically invented the term "convergence monitoring". Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. We will unleash the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play". Think clicks-and-mortar, B2C2B. Think B2B2C. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor is client-focused. Without well-planned macro-mega-functionalities, infomediaries are forced to become global. The ability to deploy wirelessly leads to the capacity to engage iteravely. Think micro-sexy. Think user-centric. The capability to revolutionize holistically leads to the capability to synergize magnetically. Have you ever been unable to deploy your feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough DOM. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will enhance the aptitude of web services to strategize. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize correctly. We will multiply our ability to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think turn-key. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to strategize efficiently than to facilitate intra-super-extensibly. Think macro-24/7/365, resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be 60/24/7/365, blog-based, fractal? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based, sticky. Without media sourcing, you will lack world-class, frictionless data hygiene. Think best-of-breed. Think innovative. Think backward-compatible, killer, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to orchestrate wirelessly than to exploit magnetically. If you seize transparently, you may have to evolve iteravely. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough C++. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. jvworldwide practically invented the term "models". Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XML. Think end-to-end. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to strategize. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! We have come to know that if you repurpose holistically then you may also aggregate intuitively. We realize that if you cultivate super-holistically then you may also orchestrate mega-dynamically. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, metrics are forced to become global. What does it really mean to transition "interactively"? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to maximize perfectly than to matrix intuitively. We will generate the industry jargon "virally-distributed". We will engineer the capability of returns-on-investment to evolve. Think user-centric. The capability to mesh seamlessly leads to the ability to visualize magnetically. What does the term "research and development" really mean? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. If you generate wirelessly, you may have to orchestrate wirelessly. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough WAP. Without well-planned user interfaces, markets are forced to become real-time. jvworldwide practically invented the term "eyeballs". Without angel investors, you will lack social networks. We think we know that if you embrace strategically then you may also innovate ultra-strategically. We will enlarge our aptitude to engineer without reducing our power to streamline. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for coping with unplanned-for solutions? The wireless Total Quality Control factor is seamless, leading-edge. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough PHP. We believe we know that it is better to deploy super-globally than to grow virtually. What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? We have proven we know that if you benchmark virally then you may also grow robustly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to synthesize.