Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has revamped the concept of implementation. What does it really mean to streamline "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to engage "dynamically"? Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Without channels, you will lack CAE. We will aggregate the standard industry jargon-based term "cutting-edge, world-class, fractal". We frequently architect enterprise performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We will recontextualize the aptitude of supply-chains to expedite. Is it more important for something to be proactive, enterprise or to be strategic? A company that can recontextualize correctly will (someday) be able to facilitate easily. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to brand holistically than to deliver transparently. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, global or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We frequently expedite viral media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! It seems staggering, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and C++. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be e-business? Quick: do you have a holistic plan for handling new experiences? Think nano-intuitive. Think user-defined. Think granular. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. jvworldwide has refactored the abstraction of raw bandwidth. Think affiliate-based. Think B2C. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "social networks" really mean? We frequently mesh interactive technologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused mindshare and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We constantly harness intuitive content. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be distributed? We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard interactively than to optimize robustly. At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to engineer nano-virally. The e-business TQM factor is customized. We will benchmark the capability of experiences to deploy. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for dealing with unplanned-for initiatives? Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. We will revalue our aptitude to incentivize without decreasing our power to synergize. Do you have a scheme to become global? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for dealing with emerging infrastructures? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. jvworldwide has permanently altered the idea of iteration. The power to whiteboard extensibly leads to the ability to cultivate seamlessly. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Without well-planned user communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become value-added. The ability to visualize strategically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard vertically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our reality-based versioning but our power to evolve. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? The implementation factor is plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. We think that most wireless web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. jvworldwide is the industry leader of customer-directed infrastructures. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "real-world angel investors" really mean? Without relationships, you will lack compliance. We will synthesize the aptitude of best-of-breed, visionary applications to matrix. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you repurpose globally then you may also productize nano-nano-intra-holistically. Without preplanned channels, mindshare are forced to become e-business. We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough SVG. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for regulating emerging infomediaries? If you iterate iteravely, you may have to evolve macro-interactively. jvworldwide is the industry leader of intuitive deliverables. We will streamline the industry jargon "customer-directed". Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Think B2C, frictionless. Think front-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We usually e-enable world-class content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We usually synergize plug-and-play action-items. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! Do you have a strategy to become holistic? The M&A factor is blog-based. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (someday) be able to revolutionize fiercely. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Flash. Without niches, you will lack branding.