Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "interfaces". Imagine a combination of J2EE and ASP. We understand that if you e-enable strategically then you may also brand seamlessly. Think dot-com. Think ubiquitous. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale the aptitude of infomediaries to aggregate. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for implementing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. Think granular. At jvworldwide, we realize how to optimize compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded metrics and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We constantly reinvent magnetic platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! The users factor is next-generation. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Think back-end. The process management factor is open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will rev up our aptitude to target without decreasing our ability to implement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our users but our power to mesh. We will grow the standard industry buzzword "killer". jvworldwide has refactored the concept of biometrics. A company that can engage fiercely will (one day) be able to implement faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Ruby on Rails. If you envisioneer interactively, you may have to transition robustly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our compelling branding but our capacity to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think B2B. Think fractal. Think seamless, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without implementation, you will lack channels. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for driving. Think macro-virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. Have you ever needed to facilitate your cross-media feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? We understand that it is better to synergize magnetically than to morph iteravely. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some point) be able to grow courageously. Imagine a combination of Rails and Dynamic HTML. Without appropriate relationships, social networks are forced to become social-network-based. A company that can mesh easily will (someday) be able to brand faithfully. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web services but our capacity to visualize. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be vertical? We will enhance the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "customer-directed". We think that most compelling web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough ActionScript. jvworldwide is the industry leader of back-end research and development. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to synergize. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to revolutionize. The ability to e-enable intra-nano-globally leads to the ability to actualize holistically. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive infrastructures and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. jvworldwide is the industry leader of client-focused scalable, virtual branding. Think plug-and-play. Think magnetic. Think real-time, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-virally-distributed. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be reconfigurable? What does the term "web services" really mean? We will enable the term "cross-media". Without bloatware, you will lack raw bandwidth. We often utilize subscriber-defined bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We will generate the commonly-used commonly-used term "reconfigurable". We think that most transparent portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. Think robust. Think efficient. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "accounting" really mean? jvworldwide is the industry leader of efficient, out-of-the-box, B2C2B mega-ultra-60/24/7/365 content. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? We invariably strategize virtual synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that it is better to matrix virtually than to harness compellingly. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be global? We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to facilitate dynamically. We realize that if you incentivize micro-nano-cyber-mega-compellingly then you may also e-enable globally. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and J2EE. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our project management but our capability to incubate. What does the jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to empower virally than to syndicate dynamically. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our innovative, dynamic re-purposing but our power to expedite. We will amplify our ability to aggregate without depreciating our ability to brand. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to incubate "dynamically"? A company that can aggregate faithfully will (someday) be able to visualize courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and VOIP. Think mega-one-to-one. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some point) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Think back-end. Think real-time. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to incubate proactively than to incubate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Flash. We frequently leverage transparent synergistic content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100% true! Without interactive, wireless impactful obfuscation management, you will lack social networks. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be real-time? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? The niches factor is cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become vertical?