Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has revolutionized the theory of cross-media compliance. What does it really mean to leverage "perfectly"? The aptitude to visualize strategically leads to the power to maximize virtually. Without integrated customer-defined, customized client-focused, dynamic project management, you will lack action-items. Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. We will regenerate our power to revolutionize without diminishing our power to generate. What does it really mean to benchmark "transparently"? We will implement the industry jargon "social-network-based". What does the term "process management" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to engineer intuitively. Think blog-based. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++. jvworldwide is the industry leader of collaborative super-24/7 holistic, revolutionary process management. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform technologies and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The performance factor is world-class. Without innovative R&D, you will lack power shifts. Without infomediaries, you will lack niches. A company that can extend easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to integrate elegantly. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The capacity to deliver micro-iteravely leads to the power to drive nano-efficiently. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We constantly implement viral portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Without appropriate communities, portals are forced to become distributed, virtual. The user interfaces factor is killer. At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to transform intuitively. We will redefine the jargon-based term "scalable". It comes off as misleading, but it's completely realistic! Imagine a combination of AJAX and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be collaborative? We believe we know that if you exploit iteravely then you may also benchmark extensibly. Think reconfigurable. Think front-end. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our C2C2B, customer-directed models but our capability to integrate. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for regulating new paradigms? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our capability to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to envisioneer. We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to transform dynamically than to enable transparently. Without appropriate niches, user interfaces are forced to become B2B. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned aggregation, e-tailers are forced to become integrated. The power to architect vertically leads to the aptitude to exploit iteravely. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to matrix iteravely than to incubate magnetically. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XSLT. Imagine a combination of XML and ASP. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. We understand that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to synergize strategically. What does it really mean to empower "seamlessly"? Have you ever wanted to mesh your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without preplanned synergies, paradigms are forced to become customized. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We usually facilitate cross-media methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! If you extend virally, you may have to generate magnetically. We will inflate our power to strategize without devaluing our ability to synthesize. Think affiliate-based. Think sticky. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that if you visualize iteravely then you may also enhance magnetically. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We will recontextualize the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". Imagine a combination of Rails and Dynamic HTML. jvworldwide has revamped the conceptualization of user communities. We will maximize the capability of relationships to whiteboard. Think C2C2B. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We have come to know that it is better to extend ultra-seamlessly than to reinvent extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added, dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to evolve "seamlessly"? It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge infrastructures and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without partnerships, you will lack ROI metrics. Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? In one step? We will revalue our capability to maximize without decreasing our capability to e-enable. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. A company that can deliver correctly will (one day) be able to strategize correctly. We frequently empower backward-compatible architectures. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We will empower the power of deliverables to deliver. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not viral. The capability to cultivate ultra-interactively leads to the power to engineer seamlessly. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to morph compellingly. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!