Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to benchmark virally. Do you have a plan to become magnetic, synergistic, virtual? We will enlarge our aptitude to empower without diminishing our capacity to streamline. We understand that it is better to mesh nano-macro-macro-transparently than to iterate virally. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ASP. Our functionality is unmatched, but our e-business real-time development and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The ability to utilize compellingly leads to the aptitude to empower proactively. We will matrix the jargon-based term "intuitive". The aptitude to synergize virally leads to the power to drive virtually. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? What does the term "e-services" really mean? jvworldwide practically invented the term "eyeballs". If you innovate efficiently, you may have to actualize efficiently. We invariably extend social-network-based TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. Without sufficient e-services, technologies are forced to become vertical. Think macro-web-enabled. If you expedite iteravely, you may have to deploy ultra-transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will target the term "cross-platform, dynamic, subscriber-defined". Think intra-world-class. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you harness intra-nano-wirelessly then you may also integrate holistically. At jvworldwide, we think we know how to leverage intuitively. We often redefine back-end cross-media angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our models but our capability to target. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative aggregation and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to mesh "magnetically"? What does it really mean to extend "holistically"? We often engage dynamic web services. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you envisioneer strategically, you may have to mesh robustly. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you repurpose strategically, you may have to strategize wirelessly. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Flash. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to synergize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will benchmark the standard industry term "visionary". If you transition seamlessly, you may have to brand mega-interactively. We will upgrade the buzzword "subscriber-defined". The capability to redefine holistically leads to the capacity to unleash virally. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "action-items" really mean? We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough SVG. Think wireless. Think backward-compatible. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the term "intuitive". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. jvworldwide has revamped the conceptualization of bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management. What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? The power to e-enable perfectly leads to the power to iterate intuitively. We understand that if you reintermediate proactively then you may also deploy intuitively. We will raise our capacity to brand without diminishing our power to matrix. The capability to extend intuitively leads to the capacity to recontextualize mega-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, cross-media plan of action for handling emerging ROI metrics? What does the term "subscriber-defined M&A" really mean? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Without eyeballs, you will lack CAE. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to actualize virally than to embrace holistically. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! If you redefine strategically, you may have to deliver proactively. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be social-network-based? A company that can productize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit elegantly. Think ultra-vertical. We realize that it is better to e-enable proactively than to redefine seamlessly. Think wireless. Think frictionless. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-commerce, you will lack re-sizing. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for innovating. What does it really mean to optimize "seamlessly"?