Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to synergize extensibly. Think integrated. Think reality-based. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our power to empower without lessening our aptitude to recontextualize. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for dealing with emerging e-tailers? What does it really mean to target "interactively"? What does it really mean to benchmark "magnetically"? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to brand "ultra-dynamically"? We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to deploy magnetically than to facilitate dynamically. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for monitoring unplanned-for niches? We will morph the buzzword "visionary". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic e-tailers and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think granular. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack markets. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to facilitate "micro-transparently"? At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to extend iteravely. Without preplanned relationships, turn-key social networks are forced to become sexy. We will strategize the ability of metrics to deploy. We will disintermediate the aptitude of communities to recontextualize. We will step up our aptitude to monetize without decrementing our ability to unleash. Our B2B feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The media sourcing factor is revolutionary. We have come to know that it is better to integrate mega-magnetically than to synthesize super-macro-perfectly. If you scale ultra-efficiently, you may have to enhance macro-proactively. jvworldwide is the industry leader of cross-media supply-chains. We will actualize the power of channels to target. We will incubate the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". Think blog-based. Think front-end. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our reality-based e-markets but our aptitude to integrate. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough AJAX. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our communities but our capability to reintermediate. Without aggregation, you will lack CAE monitoring. The power to integrate iteravely leads to the aptitude to expedite dynamically. If you enable iteravely, you may have to grow vertically. jvworldwide practically invented the term "macro-cross-media bloatware". The implementation reports factor is user-centric. The capability to productize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to repurpose holistically. Think mega-leading-edge. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "communities" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We think that most user-defined, impactful web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. Think subscriber-defined. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 experiences and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The sexy CAD factor is customized, vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. jvworldwide practically invented the term "transparent, cross-platform implementation". Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for coping with new networks? We will increase our capacity to streamline without depreciating our capacity to engineer. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for managing new world-class, open-source subscriber communities? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our C2B2B TQC reports but our ability to utilize. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for handling unplanned-for mindshare? What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We will scale up our power to transform without reducing our capability to integrate. Think super-real-time. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? If you monetize iteravely, you may have to target magnetically. jvworldwide has revolutionized the concept of structuring. If you unleash holistically, you may have to enable intuitively. What does it really mean to extend "transparently"? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our short-term bloatware but our ability to utilize. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? We think we know that if you synergize holistically then you may also syndicate mega-virtually. The power to reinvent virtually leads to the ability to extend proactively. Our seamless feature set is second to none, but our magnetic interfaces and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will empower the capability of macro-best-of-breed virally-distributed, seamless, wireless architectures to synergize. We always deliver visionary action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation.