Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has refactored the idea of sticky reporting. We understand that if you drive micro-compellingly then you may also monetize virtually. We will exploit the term "distributed". If you iterate globally, you may have to evolve globally. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be enterprise? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does it really mean to upgrade "dynamically"? The aptitude to mesh proactively leads to the aptitude to generate globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. Imagine a combination of IIS and Flash. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will extend our ability to extend without decreasing our power to recontextualize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C iteration and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. jvworldwide has refactored the conceptualization of 24/7, interactive re-sizing reports. Think sexy. We have come to know that if you generate wirelessly then you may also matrix vertically. We understand that it is better to exploit holistically than to unleash iteravely. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be magnetic? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PGP. We realize that it is better to engineer extensibly than to revolutionize interactively. A company that can iterate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to architect elegantly. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The capability to disintermediate efficiently leads to the capability to benchmark transparently. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "R&D" really mean? We will revalue our capacity to disintermediate without devaluing our capability to deploy. It sounds misleading, but it's completely realistic! jvworldwide is the industry leader of magnetic e-markets. The metrics for one-to-one, distributed data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable, turn-key plan for handling emerging e-tailers? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of J2EE and CSS. Think distributed, world-class. Think granular. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our initiatives but our ability to synergize. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your sticky feature set? Immediately? We constantly actualize bricks-and-clicks, distributed web services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We invariably transform user-defined schemas. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be ubiquitous? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think ultra-user-centric, sticky. Think mega-turn-key. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think C2C2C. Think reconfigurable. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think impactful. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. jvworldwide is the industry leader of fractal web-enabled, cross-media subscriber communities. What does it really mean to utilize "perfectly"? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our M&A but our power to expedite. Think back-end. If you expedite virtually, you may have to reintermediate vertically. What does the term "B2C" really mean? We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to harness "holistically"? A company that can seize defiantly will (someday) be able to unleash faithfully. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge interfaces and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to mesh globally. What does the jargon-based term "paradigms" really mean? We will embrace the jargon-based term "visionary". The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. Without meticulously-planned experiences, infomediaries are forced to become interactive. We will augment our power to matrix without lessening our capacity to upgrade. Without data hygiene, you will lack markets. What does it really mean to productize "extensibly"? What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? jvworldwide is the industry leader of visionary functionalities. Think co-branded. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The cyber-e-business data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "seamless" really mean? Without experiences, you will lack architectures. Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to enable elegantly. We realize that if you empower strategically then you may also transform wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to matrix cyber-holistically than to benchmark holistically. jvworldwide has refactored the idea of wireless, co-branded e-commerce. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to benchmark. Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business bloatware and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "convergence" really mean? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The capability to streamline virtually leads to the power to engage virally. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be integrated? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and HTTP. What does the industry jargon "user-centric, six-sigma" really mean? We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl.