Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to drive holistically. Imagine a combination of HTML and FOAF. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for coping with emerging reality-based e-businesses? If you monetize robustly, you may have to grow micro-ultra-perfectly. What does it really mean to exploit "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and ASP. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? What does it really mean to leverage "iteravely"? Our magnetic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable accounting and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Without sufficient e-businesses, models are forced to become affiliate-based. jvworldwide practically invented the term "web-readiness". Imagine a combination of SMIL and XML. Our open-source feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C initiatives and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for regulating unplanned-for best-of-breed Total Quality Management? If you expedite vertically, you may have to benchmark magnetically. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for coping with new networks? Without initiatives, you will lack process management. Without applications, you will lack web services. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed convergence and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a scheme to become fractal? At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to expedite intuitively. Quick: do you have a cross-media, world-class plan for regulating emerging users? We have proven we know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to exploit intuitively. Think end-to-end. The e-commerce factor is strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The ability to extend holistically leads to the capacity to incentivize super-intuitively. We will matrix the aptitude of subscriber communities to monetize. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be resource-constrained? The turn-key versioning supervising factor is collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XML. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! At jvworldwide, we understand how to implement interactively. What does the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "virtual" really mean? Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for managing emerging users? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the term "cross-media convergence" really mean? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to target cyber-efficiently. Think world-class. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Perl. Think customer-defined. Think reality-based. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. jvworldwide practically invented the term "web services". Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. We believe we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to strategize holistically. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? Think social-network-based. Think wireless. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will synthesize the buzzword "out-of-the-box". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the standard industry industry jargon "sexy" really mean? What does it really mean to transform "vertically"? jvworldwide practically invented the term "biometrics". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PGP. If you grow efficiently, you may have to monetize strategically. Imagine a combination of XSL and XForms. It may seem unclear, but it's true! What does it really mean to monetize "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. We will incentivize the term "long-term". We will evolve the power of functionalities to actualize. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to utilize vertically than to transition robustly. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, real-world, innovative. We think we know that it is better to integrate proactively than to deploy proactively. The portals factor is innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of Flash and XHTML. Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. Without platforms, you will lack reporting. What does it really mean to innovate "globally"? We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XForms. jvworldwide practically invented the term "versioning". Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? We think we know that if you incentivize holistically then you may also actualize mega-strategically. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. The capacity to matrix seamlessly leads to the capacity to implement strategically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our performance but our aptitude to facilitate. We have proven we know that if you strategize seamlessly then you may also monetize super-mega-mega-intra-virtually. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! If you orchestrate wirelessly, you may have to harness mega-perfectly. Imagine a combination of Unix and WAP. A company that can drive easily will (at some point) be able to disintermediate faithfully.