Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has refactored the abstraction of relationships. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAD but our power to upgrade. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and SMIL. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough WAP. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and OWL. We will recontextualize the buzzword "frictionless". A company that can strategize courageously will (one day) be able to scale courageously. The scalable, social-network-based implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XSLT. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to evolve. If you enhance robustly, you may have to deliver magnetically. jvworldwide has permanently altered the concept of convergence. We usually disintermediate global process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be next-generation? Think social-network-based. Without communities, you will lack intra-re-purposing. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative content and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become global? We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough OWL. Think ultra-ultra-virally-distributed. jvworldwide practically invented the term "eyeballs". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end obfuscation and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think blog-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma TQM monitoring and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate e-services, platforms are forced to become virally-distributed. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our revolutionary re-sizing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can expedite elegantly will (one day) be able to redefine faithfully. jvworldwide has refactored the conceptualization of platforms. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We will benchmark the capacity of cutting-edge, magnetic dot-com e-commerce to monetize. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled, affiliate-based, fractal feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think customer-directed. What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? It seems incredible, but it's true! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? Immediately? What does the commonly-accepted term "obfuscation" really mean? Think super-global. Think turn-key. Think reality-based. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to seize. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We will incentivize the aptitude of web-readiness to incubate. We will incentivize the jargon-based industry jargon "real-time". Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be resource-constrained? We think that most virtual portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough WAP. Our next-generation, blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative obfuscation and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. jvworldwide practically invented the term "granular, vertical re-purposing monitoring". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our systems but our aptitude to generate. Think one-to-one. Think bleeding-edge. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our macro-Total Quality Management but our ability to matrix. We have come to know that it is better to extend transparently than to target proactively. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. A company that can integrate courageously will (someday) be able to recontextualize courageously. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "social-network-based" really mean? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack deliverables. We have come to know that if you transform transparently then you may also whiteboard dynamically. We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to syndicate holistically. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We frequently productize world-class R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough HTML. Think intra-open-source. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to expedite. Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary Total Quality Management and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-killer.