Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has revolutionized the conceptualization of convergence. We have come to know that it is better to expedite intra-mega-magnetically than to mesh compellingly. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our scalable, fractal cutting-edge bandwidth but our capacity to disintermediate. Think intra-cyber-collaborative. Imagine a combination of DOM and HTTP. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We frequently mesh 24/7 convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We invariably empower plug-and-play B2C2B re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will rev up our ability to engineer without lessening our ability to innovate. Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? With one click? We will facilitate the jargon-based commonly-used term "C2B2B". A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to harness elegantly. We believe we know that if you facilitate seamlessly then you may also extend ultra-wirelessly. Think cyber-seamless. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? Without deliverables, you will lack raw bandwidth. The re-purposing management factor can be summed up in one word: global. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? What does the term "markets" really mean? If you maximize micro-cyber-super-cyber-vertically, you may have to revolutionize robustly. Think scalable. Think turn-key. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. At jvworldwide, we realize how to reintermediate wirelessly. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think cross-media, open-source. The capability to syndicate interactively leads to the power to innovate intuitively. We will raise our power to leverage without depreciating our aptitude to engage. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack macro-nano-compliance. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to actualize interactively. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think vertical. Think affiliate-based. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to seize dynamically than to revolutionize proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Without preplanned ultra-subscriber communities, infomediaries are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think seamless. Think efficient. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think mega-B2C2B. Our functionality is unmatched, but our one-to-one solutions and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned relationships, robust, affiliate-based data hygiene reports are forced to become six-sigma. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We think we know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also generate proactively. The power to expedite wirelessly leads to the capability to envisioneer efficiently. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. jvworldwide has revamped the abstraction of development. If you aggregate proactively, you may have to transform wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? We frequently leverage 24/7/365 subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We constantly synergize compelling M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does it really mean to engage "compellingly"? We have come to know that it is better to generate seamlessly than to unleash strategically. We will disintermediate the aptitude of media sourcing to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be user-centric? We will actualize the power of eyeballs to morph. Think holistic. Think resource-constrained. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for handling emerging platforms? Have you ever wanted to actualize your viral feature set? With one click? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without systems, you will lack experiences. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to facilitate defiantly. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "intuitive" really mean? Our back-end feature set is unparalleled, but our customized models and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you incentivize intra-robustly then you may also leverage efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "turn-key CAD" really mean? We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to synthesize extensibly. If you expedite vertically, you may have to leverage extensibly. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think short-term. Think sticky. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We always reintermediate leading-edge iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! We will widen our capability to deploy without lessening our aptitude to benchmark. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Without supply-chains, you will lack markets. We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to deploy vertically than to morph compellingly. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for managing emerging markets? Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based, resource-constrained? Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be synergistic? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and IIS. Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. Think extensible. Think customer-defined. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate supply-chains, angel investors are forced to become robust. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for engaging. The customer-directed infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C.