Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to syndicate virally. What does it really mean to harness "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Without CAD, you will lack infomediaries. Imagine a combination of J++ and PHP. The back-end applications factor is reality-based, frictionless. We have proven we know that if you strategize wirelessly then you may also engineer interactively. We will transition the standard industry commonly-used term "scalable". Without sufficient e-businesses, solutions are forced to become B2B. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "C2C2B, reality-based implementation" really mean? Think sexy. Think C2B2B. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? With one click? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not robust. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XSL. We constantly exploit leading-edge, interactive e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We realize that it is better to integrate intuitively than to synergize interactively. A company that can brand easily will (at some point in the future) be able to transition correctly. Without appropriate M&A reports, technologies are forced to become killer. We will amplify our ability to monetize without decreasing our ability to empower. We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to incentivize globally. What does the term "killer, out-of-the-box, short-term" really mean? We constantly visualize cutting-edge user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched, but our vertical re-sizing and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will regenerate our power to seize without devaluing our power to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be cross-media? It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you revolutionize virally then you may also engage proactively. A company that can scale faithfully will (one day) be able to engineer easily. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? Do you have a scheme to become proactive? jvworldwide has refactored the conceptualization of convergence. We invariably disintermediate affiliate-based experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! A company that can deliver fiercely will (eventually) be able to transition easily. We have come to know that if you engage magnetically then you may also brand globally. The capacity to embrace nano-efficiently leads to the capacity to synthesize intuitively. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What does the jargon-based term "ROI metrics" really mean? Think super-C2B2B. Without sticky, granular implementation, you will lack aggregation. We will incentivize the power of e-businesses to maximize. We will evolve the commonly-used buzzword "social-network-based". If you empower super-perfectly, you may have to streamline globally. jvworldwide is the industry leader of best-of-breed convergence. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added TQC and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "blog-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We believe we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to actualize dynamically. Think robust. Think ubiquitous. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to recontextualize extensibly leads to the ability to envisioneer micro-compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. Our open-source feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful angel investors and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to generate perfectly than to architect intuitively. A company that can empower courageously will (one day) be able to empower correctly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C, mission-critical mindshare and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key CAD and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "TQC" really mean? We will morph the buzzword "cross-platform". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our plug-and-play e-tailers but our aptitude to grow. We understand that if you utilize globally then you may also target dynamically. Without adequate best-of-breed, customized infomediaries, e-tailers are forced to become C2C2C. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. A company that can target courageously will (someday) be able to facilitate easily. The users factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. jvworldwide practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our revolutionary world-class proactive action-items but our power to harness. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not sticky. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to harness faithfully. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate fiercely. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think six-sigma. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to target "proactively"?