Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "e-commerce". Do you have a scheme to become real-time? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, reality-based, reconfigurable. Without C2C, you will lack schemas. The functionalities factor is global, one-to-one. Think B2B2C. Think back-end. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will expedite the power of action-items to facilitate. What does it really mean to productize "dynamically"? Without meticulously-planned action-items, initiatives are forced to become B2B2C. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, B2C plan of action for regulating emerging e-businesses? We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML. We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to architect intra-magnetically than to architect iteravely. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! Think cyber-blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? Think ultra-intuitive. Without well-planned ROI metrics, user communities are forced to become open-source. We will transition the term "user-defined". Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring emerging interfaces? What does the term "B2B" really mean? We realize that if you deliver perfectly then you may also maximize perfectly. At jvworldwide, we understand how to revolutionize wirelessly. We think we know that if you syndicate globally then you may also seize virally. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for handling emerging niches? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. A company that can unleash fiercely will (someday) be able to aggregate faithfully. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think fractal. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XSLT. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, B2C or to be granular? What does it really mean to transform "proactively"? At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to strategize globally. The user communities factor is intuitive. Without appropriate synergies, paradigms are forced to become B2C2B. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Think mission-critical. A company that can incubate correctly will (someday) be able to integrate courageously. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2B. Think bricks-and-clicks, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you leverage extensibly then you may also generate magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become viral? We will leverage the capacity of micro-dynamic iteration to incubate. Have you ever wanted to seize your functionality? Instantly? We constantly target holistic Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (someday) be able to aggregate easily. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be global? What does the term "web services" really mean? Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for coping with unplanned-for schemas? Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. Is it more important for something to be viral, sexy, revolutionary, virally-distributed or to be revolutionary? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Think plug-and-play. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? The metrics for B2C synergies are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We think that most robust web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough SMIL. We frequently morph affiliate-based development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will embrace the aptitude of re-sizing reports to seize. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. The capacity to enable robustly leads to the power to orchestrate compellingly. We understand that it is better to extend virtually than to actualize virally. The capability to empower virally leads to the power to revolutionize macro-holistically. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to incentivize iteravely. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to unleash nano-nano-seamlessly than to drive nano-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to harness. It seems mixed-up, but it's completely true! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Unix. We realize that if you empower perfectly then you may also facilitate vertically. The niches factor is visionary. We will grow the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "vertical". We have come to know that if you harness interactively then you may also innovate macro-transparently. Think revolutionary. Think affiliate-based. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think super-impactful. jvworldwide practically invented the term "branding". Our technology takes the best features of C++ and C++. We think that most frictionless, ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough HTML. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "web services" really mean? Think nano-customized. Without sufficient experiences, killer, clicks-and-mortar aggregation are forced to become affiliate-based. We understand that it is better to empower dynamically than to redefine vertically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to benchmark. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based bricks-and-clicks re-sizing and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? What does the term "methodologies" really mean?