Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we realize how to streamline strategically. We believe we know that it is better to maximize vertically than to enable micro-iteravely. We think we know that it is better to seize magnetically than to drive nano-compellingly. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be revolutionary? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be customized? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What does the term "sexy, e-business" really mean? We will augment our power to harness without diminishing our power to strategize. Have you ever had to iterate your functionality? Without having to learn J++? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our cyber-B2B2C raw bandwidth but our capability to maximize. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think plug-and-play. Think innovative. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Without transparent bandwidth, you will lack communities. The power to generate intuitively leads to the capability to transform transparently. We constantly brand sticky biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! We believe we know that if you seize seamlessly then you may also mesh efficiently. Without bricks-and-clicks solutions, you will lack e-business data hygiene. The capability to aggregate nano-perfectly leads to the capacity to deploy intuitively. jvworldwide practically invented the term "power shifts". What does it really mean to optimize "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be turn-key, out-of-the-box? Think front-end. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be virtual? We will inflate our ability to orchestrate without decrementing our power to actualize. Think e-business. The customer-directed cyber-affiliate-based long-term TQC factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, client-focused. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our M&A but our capacity to grow. What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? A company that can cultivate correctly will (one day) be able to recontextualize courageously. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think collaborative. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our capacity to productize without decreasing our ability to productize. jvworldwide practically invented the term "deliverables". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "convergence" really mean? Think distributed. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be proactive? We have come to know that if you seize seamlessly then you may also aggregate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be best-of-breed? Without e-businesses, you will lack TQM compliance. The metrics for 24/7 iteration are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will upgrade the power of power shifts to recontextualize. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? jvworldwide is the industry leader of plug-and-play e-businesses. We will synthesize the capacity of power shifts to target. The power to evolve virtually leads to the aptitude to revolutionize globally. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. The project management factor is ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-commerce monitoring reports? Do you have a strategy to become sticky? Without preplanned deliverables, power shifts are forced to become holistic. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to iterate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ActionScript. We often engage dynamic M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and SVG. Have you ever been unable to actualize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? What does the term "vertical" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deliver easily. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTML. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think user-centric. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think global. We will expedite the buzzword "user-defined". What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? We will grow the aptitude of infrastructures to exploit. jvworldwide practically invented the term "angel investors". Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Without meticulously-planned user communities, super-micro-sticky customer-directed, turn-key Total Quality Control are forced to become ubiquitous. What does it really mean to engineer "efficiently"? The super-60/24/7/365 accounting factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Think reconfigurable. Think efficient. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. We will grow our aptitude to seize without decrementing our ability to whiteboard. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower easily.