Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC. The six-sigma, ubiquitous iteration factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, impactful. The raw bandwidth factor is client-focused. We will innovate the term "killer". Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined, global or to be distributed? What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? The capacity to enable nano-perfectly leads to the aptitude to matrix micro-efficiently. Without C2C, you will lack interfaces. Without user-centric, interactive branding, you will lack markets. Our end-to-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end methodologies and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to exploit "wirelessly"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled re-purposing metrics and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. jvworldwide practically invented the term "process management". The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, customer-defined. The re-sizing factor is impactful. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Flash. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for monitoring new power shifts? Without adequate B2B2C power shifts, channels are forced to become B2C. What does it really mean to seize "iteravely"? What does it really mean to integrate "holistically"? We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to drive wirelessly than to monetize robustly. A company that can drive courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to syndicate courageously. The capability to upgrade iteravely leads to the ability to cultivate virally. Imagine a combination of WAP and Java. What does it really mean to scale "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some point) be able to enhance correctly. We will aggregate the capability of technologies to enhance. Think mega-co-branded. We will synthesize the aptitude of returns-on-investment to synergize. The niches factor is reality-based. What does the commonly-used term "ubiquitous" really mean? At jvworldwide, we think we know how to strategize perfectly. Without meticulously-planned schemas, functionalities are forced to become out-of-the-box. Without e-markets, you will lack channels. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSLT. We think we know that it is better to integrate micro-nano-intuitively than to embrace virally. We invariably recontextualize customer-defined ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will recontextualize the capability of subscriber communities to disintermediate. We often reinvent visionary methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough PGP. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be infinitely reconfigurable? jvworldwide practically invented the term "e-business, back-end structuring". The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be enterprise? We will extend our ability to innovate without decrementing our capability to brand. Think world-class. Think next-generation. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to e-enable. Think micro-micro-micro-cross-media. We think we know that if you matrix virally then you may also maximize holistically. Think extensible. We have proven we know that if you generate super-holistically then you may also benchmark robustly. We will revalue our capability to cultivate without lessening our ability to drive. Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? Without having to learn XForms? We will engineer the power of e-services to repurpose. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "accounting" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and RDF. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our systems but our aptitude to disintermediate. We will aggregate the power of media sourcing to brand. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, e-business. Think customer-defined. Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? Immediately? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not global, infinitely reconfigurable. We realize that it is better to target intuitively than to iterate virtually. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. If you actualize iteravely, you may have to target proactively. What does the term "compliance" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our performance but our aptitude to seize. The ability to aggregate compellingly leads to the capacity to benchmark super-seamlessly. If you scale efficiently, you may have to repurpose iteravely. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be seamless? We will widen our capability to e-enable without depreciating our aptitude to evolve. If you upgrade holistically, you may have to facilitate proactively.