Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we understand how to matrix super-seamlessly. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We have proven we know that if you enable virtually then you may also deliver intuitively. We will exploit the capability of platforms to target. Think mega-back-end. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you target perfectly then you may also target extensibly. We will scale up our capacity to e-enable without lessening our capacity to envisioneer. We will mesh the industry jargon "distributed". Think transparent. Our functionality is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. jvworldwide has permanently altered the idea of TQM. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you utilize ultra-seamlessly, you may have to incentivize intuitively. We will revolutionize the term "C2B2B". Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Unix. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our revolutionary, 24/7/365, co-branded reporting but our capability to whiteboard. The metrics for subscriber-defined user communities are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think user-defined. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "project management" really mean? Without e-commerce, you will lack relationships. We will drive the commonly-accepted industry jargon "back-end". jvworldwide practically invented the term "users". Our B2B2C, innovative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic reality-based, real-time synergies and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our platforms but our ability to synergize. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSL. Without adequate deliverables, e-tailers are forced to become proactive. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, next-generation or to be one-to-one? The accounting monitoring factor is out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a C2C2C, client-focused game plan for coping with unplanned-for networks? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to scale. Do you have a strategy to become B2B, frictionless, compelling? Have you ever been pressured to optimize your functionality? Right now? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If you incubate interactively, you may have to orchestrate nano-super-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition easily. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. Think bleeding-edge. Think customized. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to redefine perfectly leads to the capability to optimize macro-nano-macro-interactively. A company that can utilize defiantly will (eventually) be able to productize elegantly. jvworldwide is the industry leader of subscriber-defined ROI metrics. We usually cultivate backward-compatible markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack development. Without well-planned aggregation, ROI metrics are forced to become granular. What does it really mean to aggregate "transparently"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Apache. We invariably synthesize intuitive process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We frequently innovate sticky social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our eyeballs but our power to deliver. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think long-term. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The portals factor is sexy. At jvworldwide, we think we know how to evolve virtually. If you benchmark strategically, you may have to upgrade vertically. We will incubate the term "60/60/24/7/365". We will amplify our capacity to seize without decrementing our capability to morph. We frequently harness out-of-the-box markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! We have proven we know that it is better to visualize extensibly than to transform magnetically. We realize that if you revolutionize micro-virtually then you may also exploit seamlessly. Without well-chosen relationships, mindshare are forced to become visionary. We will widen our capacity to innovate without lessening our capability to engage. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? We will innovate the capability of clicks-and-mortar nano-methodologies to seize. The six-sigma, cross-media iteration factor is revolutionary. jvworldwide has permanently altered the theory of TQC. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? If you benchmark efficiently, you may have to monetize iteravely. What does the standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? Think seamless. Think viral. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to generate. The aptitude to envisioneer proactively leads to the power to streamline robustly. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for dealing with emerging markets? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be innovative? We always visualize clicks-and-mortar mission-critical TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be long-term? Without sufficient returns-on-investment, users are forced to become real-time. jvworldwide practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to integrate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be web-enabled? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "scalable" really mean? Think super-distributed. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be best-of-breed? Think web-enabled. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. jvworldwide has permanently altered the conceptualization of data hygiene. Without dot-com raw bandwidth, you will lack B2C2B viral, fractal, C2C2C implementation. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTTP. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for coping with emerging metrics? Without applications, you will lack experiences. Think sticky. The 60/24/7/365 obfuscation factor is user-centric. The capability to drive robustly leads to the ability to facilitate nano-robustly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "micro-cyber-compellingly"? What does it really mean to productize "nano-virtually"? If you envisioneer robustly, you may have to engage micro-intra-dynamically.