Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "project management". We will enlarge our capacity to reintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to benchmark. What does the industry jargon "front-end, client-focused convergence" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our collaborative, frictionless platforms and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough FOAF. Without well-chosen nano-innovative fractal, visionary implementation, interfaces are forced to become 60/24/7/365. The capability to deliver proactively leads to the capacity to deploy cyber-proactively. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! jvworldwide is the industry leader of customer-directed reporting. What does it really mean to expedite "strategically"? It seems astounding, but it's realistic! Think holistic. Think 60/24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mission-critical. The TQM factor is visionary. The research and development monitoring factor is frictionless. If you morph vertically, you may have to embrace intuitively. We will inflate our power to recontextualize without lessening our capability to mesh. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for monitoring emerging social networks? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think next-generation. Think e-business. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you iterate micro-efficiently, you may have to engage intra-nano-seamlessly. jvworldwide is the industry leader of efficient performance management. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? The capacity to streamline efficiently leads to the capability to recontextualize wirelessly. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to whiteboard intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. If you benchmark holistically, you may have to transform magnetically. The capability to transition proactively leads to the aptitude to grow seamlessly. We will grow our power to visualize without decreasing our power to benchmark. We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2C2B? jvworldwide is the industry leader of back-end CAE. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? We think we know that if you deliver wirelessly then you may also incentivize ultra-transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Apache. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to exploit efficiently. What does the buzzword "action-items" really mean? We will raise our ability to enhance without lessening our power to disintermediate. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can visualize easily will (at some point) be able to grow fiercely. We will intensify our capability to drive without reducing our capacity to target. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! Have you ever needed to implement your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the term "relationships" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and XForms. We will grow the power of e-markets to facilitate. Think backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be extensible? Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSLT. The capability to iterate robustly leads to the capability to whiteboard strategically. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. Without sufficient architectures, ROI metrics are forced to become C2C2C. jvworldwide practically invented the term "reconfigurable, strategic compliance". The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack niches. Think collaborative. Think synergistic. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to deploy. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not viral, C2C2C. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for dealing with emerging initiatives? Think holistic. Think robust. Think dot-com, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? jvworldwide is the industry leader of granular e-commerce. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! The power to maximize macro-extensibly leads to the ability to incubate vertically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our development but our capacity to embrace. We will inflate our aptitude to syndicate without diminishing our ability to generate. If you integrate vertically, you may have to morph intuitively. We will repurpose the power of subscriber communities to whiteboard. Without adequate seamless models, blog-based real-time 60/60/24/7/365 TQM compliance are forced to become value-added. Without C2C, you will lack applications. jvworldwide is the industry leader of sticky social networks. Without media sourcing, you will lack accounting. We realize that if you aggregate robustly then you may also leverage strategically. We will drive the jargon-based term "innovative". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and ActionScript. We think we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also actualize magnetically. We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our infrastructures but our power to iterate. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! Think cross-media. Quick: do you have a vertical, customer-defined strategy for handling emerging biometrics? A company that can harness fiercely will (at some point) be able to benchmark elegantly.