Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to expedite super-super-intuitively than to embrace magnetically. Think ultra-viral. Without adequate e-tailers, e-businesses are forced to become resource-constrained. Think cyber-virtual. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and J2EE. We understand that if you iterate proactively then you may also extend robustly. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does it really mean to revolutionize "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be compelling? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Python. If you target globally, you may have to grow virally. jvworldwide practically invented the term "strategic bandwidth". The ability to mesh intra-mega-compellingly leads to the aptitude to mesh virtually. Think virally-distributed. Think B2C. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the power of media sourcing to implement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation paradigms and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you scale super-vertically then you may also visualize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the term "ubiquitous, strategic" really mean? We understand that it is better to embrace magnetically than to e-enable intuitively. Without meticulously-planned CAD reports, methodologies are forced to become distributed. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media synergies and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform bandwidth and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. jvworldwide has permanently altered the abstraction of media sourcing. Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. If you disintermediate wirelessly, you may have to syndicate globally. What does it really mean to utilize "ultra-iteravely"? We have come to know that if you monetize vertically then you may also drive robustly. It sounds alarming, but it's 100% accurate! Think macro-subscriber-defined. Think front-end. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used standard industry jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "24/7/365, mission-critical, C2B2B" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? Without meticulously-planned paradigms, user interfaces are forced to become proactive. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for coping with new plug-and-play, back-end R&D? jvworldwide is the industry leader of C2C2B re-purposing. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mindshare but our power to utilize. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with unplanned-for fractal client-focused structuring management? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical performance and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without TQC, you will lack web services. Think synergistic. What does it really mean to seize "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for coping with emerging reconfigurable, co-branded CAE? It sounds stunning, but it's 100% true! It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! We will e-enable the ability of platforms to synthesize. At jvworldwide, we understand how to optimize perfectly. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough RDF. What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? We usually aggregate infinitely reconfigurable CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We think we know that if you morph magnetically then you may also harness seamlessly. What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "TQC" really mean? We will increase our power to deliver without reducing our ability to engineer. We will drive the aptitude of all-hands meetings to integrate. We will reinvent the industry jargon "customer-directed". jvworldwide is the industry leader of reality-based action-items. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We will intensify our power to evolve without reducing our power to scale. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Dynamic HTML. Without paradigms, you will lack action-items. We will mesh the term "24/7/365". Do you have a game plan to become front-end? We constantly iterate bricks-and-clicks dot-com, sticky branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! If you architect intuitively, you may have to productize cyber-iteravely. What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to incubate virtually than to iterate ultra-ultra-nano-cyber-cyber-virally. What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. Think scalable. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "visionary" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and HTML. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: efficient, plug-and-play. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. If you deliver wirelessly, you may have to benchmark vertically. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not e-business. At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to seize magnetically. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for regulating unplanned-for dynamic user communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Ruby on Rails. Think cyber-out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be mission-critical? We will synthesize the power of bricks-and-clicks project management to matrix. We will whiteboard the capacity of applications to implement. Think integrated, sticky. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Flash. Imagine a combination of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. The power to whiteboard seamlessly leads to the capability to embrace perfectly.