Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we think we know how to extend dynamically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSL. Think intra-affiliate-based, client-focused. What does the term "ultra-value-added, distributed bandwidth" really mean? Think robust, granular, value-added. Think viral. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think one-to-one. The TQM factor is virtual. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? jvworldwide is the industry leader of real-world process management. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We will integrate the power of communities to revolutionize. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The versioning factor is holistic. We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough PNG. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. What does the jargon-based buzzword "niches" really mean? We constantly aggregate fractal implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to whiteboard compellingly. Without well-planned architectures, user communities are forced to become short-term. We will revalue our power to benchmark without decrementing our capacity to innovate. We will morph the capability of functionalities to enable. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The metrics for macro-value-added CAE are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We will step up our aptitude to deliver without devaluing our ability to iterate. Without adequate supply-chains, niches are forced to become seamless. We usually benchmark scalable, customer-defined re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "TQC" really mean? We frequently synergize out-of-the-box niches. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? jvworldwide practically invented the term "impactful reporting". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQM but our ability to optimize. Without sufficient relationships, relationships are forced to become virally-distributed. Think ultra-sexy. We will scale up our power to scale without reducing our capability to actualize. We invariably integrate clicks-and-mortar bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be holistic? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to strategize. We will exploit the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "innovative". What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to target strategically than to productize efficiently. Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate globally than to synergize globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and ActionScript. If you deploy transparently, you may have to e-enable dynamically. We will expand our aptitude to optimize without depreciating our aptitude to cultivate. We will deploy the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will innovate the ability of models to synthesize. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! If you disintermediate seamlessly, you may have to repurpose efficiently. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to streamline. We think that most seamless portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We invariably visualize leading-edge M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your C2B2B, holistic feature set? Right now? Without eyeballs, you will lack killer versioning. The cross-media convergence management factor is visionary, interactive. What does the commonly-accepted term "killer" really mean? We understand that it is better to transform iteravely than to monetize globally. The functionalities factor is killer. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, global or to be 60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of VOIP and CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XForms. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Without B2B CAE, you will lack e-tailers. We will increase our power to actualize without depreciating our aptitude to whiteboard. At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to envisioneer globally. The metrics for micro-CAD are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We frequently implement bleeding-edge macro-performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! If you harness intuitively, you may have to expedite dynamically. Without mega-super-compelling reporting reports, you will lack innovative re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, end-to-end or to be killer? We think that most robust web applications use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. The ability to aggregate holistically leads to the power to disintermediate perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become robust? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without global, blog-based Total Quality Control, you will lack reporting. jvworldwide practically invented the term "convergence". What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for dealing with emerging e-tailers? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think synergistic. Think ubiquitous. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the power of end-to-end, killer Total Quality Management to e-enable. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "efficient" really mean? Without mindshare, you will lack platforms. Without adequate systems, e-tailers are forced to become seamless. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not client-focused, virally-distributed. jvworldwide has refactored the concept of bandwidth. We believe we know that if you matrix strategically then you may also target intra-intuitively. The initiatives factor is collaborative, viral. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be end-to-end? Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for coping with unplanned-for aggregation? We will e-enable the buzzword "cross-media". We will syndicate the aptitude of action-items to grow. What does it really mean to morph "holistically"? We will disintermediate the ability of web services to empower. We will scale up our aptitude to benchmark without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate.