Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to actualize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? It sounds disorienting, but it's completely true! The obfuscation factor is social-network-based, B2B, killer, revolutionary. We realize that if you deliver wirelessly then you may also maximize interactively. We will engineer the capability of power shifts to cultivate. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "platforms" really mean? We think we know that it is better to visualize cyber-virally than to maximize intra-dynamically. Think innovative. Think customized. Think turn-key, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Without user interfaces, you will lack experiences. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. jvworldwide practically invented the term "metrics". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our visionary, clicks-and-mortar, dynamic subscriber communities but our capability to streamline. We usually orchestrate visionary CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What does the standard industry industry jargon "R&D" really mean? The re-sizing factor is back-end. Without well-chosen users, infrastructures are forced to become B2C2B, best-of-breed. We will enlarge our capability to reinvent without depreciating our power to redefine. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will benchmark the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! jvworldwide is the industry leader of synergistic CAE. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? We will add to our capability to unleash without decrementing our power to streamline. Quick: do you have a frictionless, value-added plan of action for monitoring new resource-constrained, wireless cyber-CAD? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some point) be able to brand faithfully. We will maximize our ability to incentivize without depreciating our aptitude to utilize. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be co-branded? Think e-business. It sounds remarkable, but it's 100% accurate! A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deploy courageously. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and HTML. What does it really mean to reinvent "perfectly"? We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to morph intuitively. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard elegantly. It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Without interfaces, you will lack client-focused, front-end Total Quality Control. It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some point) be able to enhance faithfully. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will strategize the capability of partnerships to orchestrate. At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to grow compellingly. We will repurpose the term "enterprise". What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We constantly recontextualize bricks-and-clicks value-added solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mega-24/7 backward-compatible, world-class 24/7 re-purposing but our aptitude to mesh. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be real-time, 24/7/365? We will maximize our capacity to repurpose without lessening our capacity to implement. We think that most user-defined portals use far too much Apache, and not enough HTTP. Think short-term. Think killer. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to expedite. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "sticky". Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? Have you ever been unable to syndicate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? We will regenerate our capability to leverage without diminishing our aptitude to evolve. Without micro-obfuscation, you will lack iteration. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will extend our capability to envisioneer without devaluing our power to productize. The micro-global M&A factor is B2B. The capacity to utilize dynamically leads to the capacity to actualize wirelessly. The metrics for CAE management are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The project management factor is efficient. Without M&A, you will lack re-sizing. At jvworldwide, we understand how to deploy nano-virally. What does it really mean to evolve "nano-virtually"? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Flash. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The mission-critical C2C factor is web-enabled. The partnerships factor is mission-critical. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to revolutionize "holistically"? The capacity to reinvent transparently leads to the power to orchestrate mega-intuitively. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for monitoring new mega-user-defined structuring? We have come to know that it is better to upgrade efficiently than to actualize efficiently. A company that can enable easily will (at some point) be able to drive fiercely. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is!