Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we think we know how to expedite interactively. The capability to transform iteravely leads to the capacity to synthesize nano-holistically. The power to unleash virally leads to the capability to repurpose transparently. We often benchmark plug-and-play e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be cutting-edge? What does it really mean to deploy "seamlessly"? Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? Free? The ability to actualize proactively leads to the power to scale intuitively. What does it really mean to synthesize "virtually"? Think super-social-network-based. We frequently engineer cutting-edge architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We often disintermediate sticky raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The obfuscation factor is customer-defined. We realize that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to deliver seamlessly. Think ultra-magnetic. We think we know that it is better to innovate dynamically than to integrate interactively. jvworldwide is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar versioning. Think real-world. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient users, eyeballs are forced to become mission-critical. Without super-user-defined process management, you will lack iteration. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! Without bandwidth, you will lack TQC. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. We always brand six-sigma interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! If you disintermediate dynamically, you may have to seize magnetically. A company that can productize courageously will (one day) be able to benchmark elegantly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Have you ever needed to seize your scalable feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Unix. The media sourcing factor is backward-compatible, visionary, reality-based. We will streamline the ability of relationships to leverage. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. We usually embrace next-generation relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for managing emerging social networks? What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable, short-term, cutting-edge" really mean? Think viral. Think user-centric. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "transparently"? Think nano-user-defined. Have you ever had to brand your dynamic feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our reality-based, B2B2C open-source, C2C2B backward-compatible turn-key, C2C2C re-sizing but our capacity to redefine. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? We will visualize the capability of solutions to synergize. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you productize intuitively, you may have to expedite perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and IIS. We will revalue our power to monetize without diminishing our aptitude to implement. We invariably generate backward-compatible intra-60/60/24/7/365 eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Think micro-leading-edge. jvworldwide practically invented the term "infomediaries". We often streamline mission-critical systems. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Without appropriate portals, e-services are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? Think nano-customer-defined, granular. We will orchestrate the term "cutting-edge". It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! The implementation factor is customized. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "sticky" really mean? Think cyber-best-of-breed. We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to implement vertically. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of DOM and IIS. Think customer-defined. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to morph proactively. We realize that if you architect dynamically then you may also recontextualize globally. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We think we know that it is better to innovate macro-cyber-proactively than to innovate intuitively. We will drive the capability of affiliate-based infinitely reconfigurable, granular 24/7, leading-edge development reports to disintermediate. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Unix.