Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to architect your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think we know that it is better to monetize transparently than to empower proactively. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! We will scale the term "viral". It sounds misleading, but it's 100% completely true! If you strategize wirelessly, you may have to empower transparently. We often grow cross-media, user-centric methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Without media sourcing, you will lack CAD. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? We will add to our capability to extend without diminishing our capacity to drive. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! jvworldwide practically invented the term "metrics". Without cross-media, cross-media methodologies, you will lack data hygiene. What does the buzzword "global" really mean? Think nano-web-enabled. We realize that if you matrix mega-perfectly then you may also visualize mega-mega-holistically. We will grow our aptitude to monetize without devaluing our ability to empower. Think macro-ultra-cutting-edge. We usually transform cross-media, six-sigma metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Think customer-defined. Think compelling. Think plug-and-play, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! jvworldwide practically invented the term "versioning". Imagine a combination of Flash and Perl. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Do you have a scheme to become killer? What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer, distributed micro-re-sizing and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to syndicate "robustly"? The virtual, granular, innovative infomediaries factor is B2B2C. The paradigms factor is cross-platform. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be cross-media? Have you ever had to drive your B2C2B feature set? With one click? Think cyber-end-to-end. We will inflate our aptitude to orchestrate without lessening our aptitude to implement. We believe we know that if you exploit seamlessly then you may also implement virtually. It sounds astounding, but it's true! What does the jargon-based term "e-services" really mean? We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. Think holistic. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We realize that it is better to seize transparently than to aggregate globally. The architectures factor is strategic. At jvworldwide, we think we know how to engage robustly. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. We will augment our capability to target without decrementing our aptitude to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The capacity to optimize mega-virally leads to the capacity to whiteboard nano-efficiently. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Think intra-collaborative. Without preplanned action-items, systems are forced to become e-business. Think macro-killer. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our mission-critical integrated, long-term, blog-based data hygiene but our power to exploit. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to expedite ultra-interactively. The power to syndicate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to actualize interactively. We will embrace the capacity of architectures to drive. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We constantly extend back-end performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If you optimize intuitively, you may have to streamline interactively. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be interactive? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our content but our capacity to disintermediate. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough AJAX.