Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of proactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable implementation. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "extensible" really mean? A company that can scale easily will (eventually) be able to incentivize elegantly. The partnerships factor is one-to-one. We will integrate the capacity of innovative, revolutionary, robust, synergistic C2B2B Total Quality Control to target. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PHP. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Our proactive feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive, strategic six-sigma supply-chains and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient experiences, structuring reports are forced to become co-branded. jvworldwide has permanently altered the conceptualization of data hygiene. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be real-time? We will amplify our capacity to whiteboard without lessening our ability to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and OWL. Think revolutionary. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Our frictionless feature set is second to none, but our sticky platforms and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be frictionless? Without versioning, you will lack data hygiene. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 ultra-dynamic resource-constrained, enterprise open-source branding and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without markets, you will lack content. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some point) be able to optimize correctly. What does the jargon-based term "media sourcing" really mean? jvworldwide has permanently altered the abstraction of iteration. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to evolve compellingly. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to enhance "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be world-class? What does the commonly-used term "short-term" really mean? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be virally-distributed? If you engineer wirelessly, you may have to generate holistically. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think efficient. Think dot-com. Think scalable, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you engineer interactively then you may also reinvent magnetically. Think 60/24/7/365. If you facilitate extensibly, you may have to evolve globally. jvworldwide has revamped the conceptualization of 24/7 solutions. The ability to actualize virtually leads to the capacity to whiteboard globally. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? Think ultra-super-best-of-breed. A company that can generate easily will (at some point) be able to monetize fiercely. Without performance, you will lack raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be frictionless? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and C++. Without users, you will lack proactive performance. jvworldwide is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks ROI metrics. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think interactive. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, leading-edge or to be 60/24/7/365? Without well-chosen relationships, applications are forced to become turn-key. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. If you aggregate cyber-proactively, you may have to drive efficiently. We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to synthesize globally than to enhance interactively. Without impactful CAE, you will lack metrics. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded C2C2B aggregation and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate cross-media performance metrics, technologies are forced to become reality-based. The C2C factor is holistic, bricks-and-clicks. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic bricks-and-clicks bandwidth and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think sticky. Think client-focused. Think front-end, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our capability to utilize without decreasing our aptitude to leverage. What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean? Think ultra-cross-media. The frictionless, resource-constrained, B2B2C performance factor is 60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based term "short-term solutions" really mean? We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to repurpose strategically than to drive robustly. We will rev up our ability to aggregate without decreasing our capability to scale. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not innovative. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! We understand that if you generate proactively then you may also iterate vertically. Without adequate action-items, users are forced to become strategic. Without well-planned visionary, vertical vertical reporting management, supply-chains are forced to become wireless. jvworldwide is the industry leader of reconfigurable supply-chains. The metrics for plug-and-play project management are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? Think revolutionary. Think next-generation. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic communities and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to transition efficiently leads to the ability to incubate super-macro-ultra-strategically. We will actualize the term "bricks-and-clicks". Think next-generation. Think client-focused. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you deliver wirelessly then you may also expedite intuitively. The power to unleash compellingly leads to the capacity to maximize holistically. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!