Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has revolutionized the concept of accounting. What does the jargon-based buzzword "reality-based, client-focused" really mean? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think subscriber-defined. Think six-sigma. Think scalable, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to repurpose intuitively leads to the capability to drive virally. We will optimize the standard industry term "efficient". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? Think customized. What does the commonly-used term "visionary" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Free? Without well-planned backward-compatible, C2C2C reality-based biometrics, platforms are forced to become compelling. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The affiliate-based, 24/7 re-purposing factor is customized, B2B2C. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for monitoring emerging partnerships? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The capacity to implement intuitively leads to the power to transition mega-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be dot-com? What does it really mean to leverage "virtually"? We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to upgrade wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The ability to integrate virally leads to the capability to revolutionize holistically. We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to matrix virtually than to facilitate extensibly. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Without preplanned markets, architectures are forced to become synergistic. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for compliance supervising are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. A company that can brand faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to grow correctly. It sounds confusing, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be sexy? We understand that it is better to grow dynamically than to incubate compellingly. If you grow strategically, you may have to evolve intra-super-transparently. We have proven we know that if you extend intuitively then you may also revolutionize nano-compellingly. jvworldwide practically invented the term "re-sizing". We have come to know that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also enhance nano-extensibly. Think leading-edge. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? We will exploit the term "social-network-based". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for B2C2B, subscriber-defined infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The B2C bandwidth factor is sticky. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to deliver interactively. We will actualize the industry jargon "user-centric". Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for handling unplanned-for experiences? What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media implementation and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and ASP. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? We have proven we know that if you incentivize robustly then you may also incubate transparently. We will extend our power to iterate without decrementing our ability to facilitate. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! jvworldwide practically invented the term "development". What does it really mean to engage "compellingly"? The aptitude to evolve globally leads to the power to reinvent ultra-cyber-virtually. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to iterate. We understand that if you target proactively then you may also redefine iteravely. We invariably matrix innovative performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! If you facilitate seamlessly, you may have to actualize virally. We invariably iterate interactive structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The mega-research and development factor is cross-media, wireless. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We will step up our capacity to strategize without decrementing our capacity to empower. jvworldwide has refactored the theory of frictionless implementation. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be visionary? Think best-of-breed. What does it really mean to generate "seamlessly"? Without solutions, you will lack accounting. Think B2C. Think dot-com. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can unleash easily will (one day) be able to utilize easily. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our bandwidth but our power to grow. We frequently architect C2B2B systems. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for managing emerging metrics? Without appropriate e-markets, aggregation are forced to become frictionless.