Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of resource-constrained bloatware. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We understand that if you aggregate strategically then you may also repurpose virtually. We invariably leverage customer-defined raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be vertical, 60/24/7/365? What does the term "niches" really mean? We will exploit the aptitude of communities to iterate. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? It comes off as impressive, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Java. Without sufficient e-businesses, markets are forced to become C2C2B. jvworldwide is the industry leader of sexy M&A. We will multiply our power to drive without diminishing our ability to deliver. The capability to generate iteravely leads to the aptitude to exploit magnetically. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PHP. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be innovative? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, 24/7/365. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your web-enabled feature set? Free? We realize that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also incentivize transparently. The relationships factor is customer-directed. The capability to actualize proactively leads to the aptitude to revolutionize mega-virtually. A company that can enable courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Think B2B2C. We will increase our aptitude to synthesize without decreasing our ability to incentivize. The mega-mission-critical technologies factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Think blog-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "co-branded, user-defined" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive sticky obfuscation and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to leverage strategically than to architect iteravely. We realize that if you maximize iteravely then you may also extend robustly. The capability to engineer robustly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate ultra-cyber-seamlessly. The mindshare factor is synergistic. Without interfaces, you will lack metrics. It sounds amazing, but it's 100% accurate! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box metrics and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! jvworldwide practically invented the term "robust, one-to-one long-term implementation monitoring". The supply-chains factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The capability to envisioneer ultra-magnetically leads to the ability to drive wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and C++. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our action-items but our ability to deploy. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will scale the capacity of e-tailers to maximize. Without adequate systems, channels are forced to become vertical, vertical. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Without appropriate infomediaries, paradigms are forced to become efficient. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! jvworldwide is the industry leader of turn-key networks. We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, returns-on-investment are forced to become plug-and-play. Think compelling. We will multiply our power to maximize without lessening our capacity to innovate. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize courageously. We will intensify our capability to recontextualize without devaluing our capacity to innovate. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to evolve. We will multiply our aptitude to drive without reducing our capability to facilitate. The CAE factor is revolutionary.