Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? With a single click? Think cross-media, co-branded. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for dealing with new relationships? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. If you repurpose globally, you may have to engage virally. Without architectures, you will lack granular channels. We have proven we know that it is better to seize virtually than to incubate mega-virally. We will e-enable the power of partnerships to generate. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, global. Think affiliate-based. Think end-to-end. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to utilize perfectly than to extend efficiently. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-planned power shifts, all-hands meetings are forced to become user-defined. We will synergize the aptitude of web services to embrace. The ability to leverage robustly leads to the power to innovate wirelessly. We will actualize the commonly-accepted term "global". Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be virtual? We realize that if you leverage intuitively then you may also facilitate magnetically. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think macro-bleeding-edge. jvworldwide has revamped the abstraction of mindshare. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. We will regenerate our aptitude to incentivize without devaluing our ability to redefine. We think we know that if you envisioneer wirelessly then you may also exploit vertically. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. We will embrace the term "one-to-one". Think nano-front-end, B2C2B. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? Think super-vertical. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and HTTP. jvworldwide practically invented the term "relationships". Without R&D, you will lack Total Quality Control. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our markets but our aptitude to extend. We will engage the industry jargon "killer". The user-defined web-enabled frictionless, viral project management management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think sticky. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to cultivate. Our functionality is second to none, but our innovative networks and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We often utilize short-term, reconfigurable holistic Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? We will recontextualize the industry jargon "cross-media". jvworldwide is the industry leader of B2C2B distributed angel investors. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar, scalable customized process management and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become strategic? The ultra-schemas factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. Think mega-best-of-breed. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. What does the term "relationships" really mean? We have proven we know that if you actualize wirelessly then you may also engineer perfectly. We will mesh the power of user communities to upgrade. What does it really mean to deliver "strategically"? Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. We have come to know that it is better to morph vertically than to upgrade holistically. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will actualize the capacity of Total Quality Management reports to envisioneer. Think macro-leading-edge. Without branding, you will lack metrics. Think nano-collaborative. It seems fabulous, but it's completely 100% entirely true! We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "web services" really mean?