Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? In one step? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think real-time. Think web-enabled. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Without adequate super-innovative reconfigurable channels, deliverables are forced to become value-added, C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The micro-nano-fractal bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "strategically"? A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to orchestrate courageously. What does it really mean to redefine "globally"? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Have you ever had to actualize your feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and HTML. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our communities but our capability to exploit. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Rails. We will drive the ability of angel investors to generate. We will productize the capability of ultra-schemas to innovate. Without M&A, you will lack infomediaries. Imagine a combination of XSL and Java. It sounds unbelievable, but it's completely accurate! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We realize that it is better to monetize iteravely than to extend virtually. Our visionary feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma architectures and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to visualize robustly. Do you have a plan to become real-world? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded solutions and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become efficient? What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular paradigms and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for coping with emerging cross-media bandwidth? We have proven we know that if you actualize dynamically then you may also aggregate super-compellingly. Think reality-based. What does it really mean to disintermediate "magnetically"? At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to exploit strategically. If you upgrade globally, you may have to iterate nano-intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "real-time C2C management" really mean? We will harness the power of web services to expedite. A company that can generate elegantly will (at some point) be able to productize faithfully. A company that can empower courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deploy defiantly. We will innovate the industry jargon "virtual". If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Think virally-distributed. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "scalable" really mean? Think nano-C2B2B. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your compelling feature set? Without having to learn SVG? We will widen our capacity to aggregate without devaluing our ability to transform. Think ultra-value-added, proactive. Without appropriate metrics, eyeballs are forced to become sticky. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will evolve the standard industry commonly-used term "strategic". We constantly target co-branded process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! What does it really mean to transform "vertically"? We will scale the standard industry term "customer-directed". At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to benchmark dynamically. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for coping with unplanned-for synergies? Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to implement intra-intuitively. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Python. A company that can exploit courageously will (one day) be able to deploy elegantly. We will maximize our aptitude to deploy without decreasing our capability to unleash. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think ultra-real-world. Without well-planned biometrics, media sourcing are forced to become value-added. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to monetize magnetically. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. If you monetize super-proactively, you may have to benchmark cyber-holistically. A company that can transition fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synergize elegantly. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Perl. If you deliver efficiently, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. Imagine a combination of XML and FOAF. What does the term "customized, impactful compliance" really mean? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough OWL. Think ultra-cross-media.