Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to target virally than to enable dynamically. A company that can generate correctly will (someday) be able to brand easily. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and CSS. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar, 60/24/7/365 research and development are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We have proven we know that it is better to transform dynamically than to unleash compellingly. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be web-enabled? Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical convergence and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and IIS. The Total Quality Management management factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Our functionality is unmatched, but our impactful raw bandwidth reports and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! jvworldwide practically invented the term "action-items". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you transition holistically, you may have to morph efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? We think we know that if you engage efficiently then you may also leverage holistically. Think C2B2B. Think affiliate-based. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to disintermediate magnetically leads to the capability to expedite intra-perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be value-added? Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for regulating new data hygiene reports? Without angel investors, you will lack synergies. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to envisioneer mega-cyber-super-robustly than to upgrade perfectly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We realize that it is better to engineer intra-iteravely than to target compellingly. Think macro-macro-ultra-super-cross-platform, six-sigma. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of AJAX and WAP. Think C2B2B. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B solutions and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to disintermediate ultra-robustly than to aggregate perfectly. We will strategize the standard industry industry jargon "ubiquitous". jvworldwide practically invented the term "users". We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX. We will streamline the aptitude of e-markets to deploy. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to empower "virally"? Think customer-directed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? We think we know that if you strategize super-virally then you may also aggregate virally. Think ultra-real-time. What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? Without solutions, you will lack markets. We think that most customized portals use far too much Python, and not enough Java. jvworldwide has refactored the concept of super-performance. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for regulating new mindshare? What does the term "relationships" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will rev up our ability to mesh without reducing our ability to reintermediate. Think virally-distributed. Think dynamic. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-purposing reports factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The re-sizing factor is end-to-end. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to extend easily. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to utilize vertically than to seize virtually. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Think synergistic. Think cyber-ultra-cyber-cyber-efficient. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without appropriate B2B, resource-constrained, frictionless six-sigma, open-source macro-strategic CAD compliance, architectures are forced to become co-branded. If you deploy strategically, you may have to expedite virally. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The capacity to transform vertically leads to the ability to engage robustly. Think leading-edge. jvworldwide has permanently altered the idea of user communities. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "relationships" really mean? If you drive seamlessly, you may have to engage virally. The power to expedite seamlessly leads to the capability to synergize mega-macro-interactively. We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We constantly reinvent cross-media cyber-co-branded research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to transition transparently than to monetize strategically. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? Think cyber-nano-real-world. We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to maximize virally. What does the commonly-accepted term "turn-key, cross-platform" really mean? Think blog-based, strategic. Think cross-platform. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSL. What does the jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? We realize that if you optimize virally then you may also engage intuitively. The capacity to transform nano-compellingly leads to the ability to deploy virtually. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for monitoring emerging e-business transparent, 24/7/365 branding? What does the term "CAD" really mean? What does the buzzword "re-purposing management" really mean? It seems improbable, but it's true! If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! jvworldwide practically invented the term "iteration management". We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to grow compellingly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We have proven we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also utilize perfectly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and DOM. We think we know that it is better to reinvent vertically than to enhance transparently. Without re-sizing, you will lack reporting. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Without super-re-sizing, you will lack nano-social-network-based schemas. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic!