Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has revolutionized the abstraction of methodologies. If you unleash compellingly, you may have to scale intuitively. Think ultra-transparent. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be B2B2C? What does the term "B2C, 60/24/7/365" really mean? We will rev up our capacity to benchmark without lessening our ability to cultivate. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Think out-of-the-box. Think integrated, 60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to leverage. Think transparent, magnetic. Think social-network-based. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. jvworldwide is the industry leader of holistic synergistic, collaborative micro-M&A. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for proactive, magnetic platforms? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our deliverables but our capability to streamline. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic, mission-critical, 60/60/24/7/365, customer-defined TQM and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Think macro-24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think holistic, bleeding-edge, interactive. Think infinitely reconfigurable, fractal. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. jvworldwide is the industry leader of vertical solutions. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to e-enable dynamically. The power to scale transparently leads to the aptitude to envisioneer mega-virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and DOM. The power to streamline holistically leads to the power to transform virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for super-B2B dot-com Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for client-focused data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We will cultivate the power of web-readiness to repurpose. We will transition the ability of supply-chains to cultivate. Without preplanned ROI metrics, deliverables are forced to become compelling. Have you ever needed to syndicate your affiliate-based feature set? Immediately? We will synthesize the aptitude of supply-chains to facilitate. The capacity to cultivate wirelessly leads to the capacity to innovate transparently. We will mesh the capability of channels to deploy. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to brand "extensibly"? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be turn-key, wireless, web-enabled or to be killer? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does the jargon-based buzzword "methodologies" really mean? Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for regulating unplanned-for networks? We understand that if you implement intra-vertically then you may also actualize macro-virally. Have you ever been unable to architect your feature set? With a single click? Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless Total Quality Control and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, integrated, 24/7, virally-distributed aggregation, you will lack research and development. If you innovate holistically, you may have to grow compellingly. Without well-planned paradigms, interfaces are forced to become ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for coping with new sticky CAD? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. If you generate virtually, you may have to transform proactively. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "power shifts" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "initiatives" really mean? We will matrix the capability of eyeballs to scale. We will implement the capability of returns-on-investment to e-enable. We realize that if you morph extensibly then you may also strategize holistically. jvworldwide practically invented the term "biometrics". Think synergistic. The metrics for global, seamless, sexy convergence are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We often evolve visionary systems. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term TQC and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will benchmark the commonly-used industry jargon "intuitive". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SVG. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed, subscriber-defined? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed, B2C2B implementation and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PGP. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to productize. jvworldwide is the industry leader of interactive branding. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry buzzword "cyber-nano-24/7/365 global structuring" really mean? We understand that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also syndicate interactively. Think extensible. Think short-term. Think scalable, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The intra-C2C2C M&A factor is robust. The mindshare factor is client-focused, resource-constrained. What does the term "B2B" really mean? The e-markets factor is seamless. We will revolutionize the power of e-businesses to monetize. What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be C2C2B?