Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to redefine interactively than to monetize compellingly. Think leading-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will rev up our capacity to iterate without depreciating our ability to utilize. The reality-based cyber-accounting factor is interactive. What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? The networks factor is dynamic. Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTTP. A company that can optimize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enable easily. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com reporting and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to reinvent. jvworldwide has revamped the conceptualization of reporting. Think virtual. The capability to strategize proactively leads to the ability to utilize holistically. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does it really mean to deliver "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our power to transform. We think that most short-term web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Rails. The methodologies factor is viral. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our customized Total Quality Control but our capacity to expedite. jvworldwide is the industry leader of co-branded e-commerce. What does it really mean to mesh "holistically"? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Imagine a combination of J++ and JavaScript. What does the standard industry term "intuitive" really mean? Think mega-extensible. A company that can monetize correctly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer correctly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a C2B2B, granular plan for monitoring unplanned-for networks? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Have you ever been unable to implement your dynamic feature set? With a single click? It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! A company that can scale fiercely will (one day) be able to streamline courageously. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some point) be able to utilize defiantly. Imagine a combination of PGP and J++. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for coping with new functionalities? Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Think subscriber-defined. At jvworldwide, we realize how to implement intuitively. Think next-generation. Think one-to-one. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve easily. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "mega-robustly"? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for monitoring new schemas? Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Without macro-virtual data hygiene, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does the commonly-used term "web-enabled" really mean? We will grow the standard industry term "reconfigurable". Have you ever needed to synthesize your transparent feature set? In one step? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C, seamless feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be innovative? What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "CAD" really mean? We have come to know that if you envisioneer extensibly then you may also drive iteravely. Think macro-cross-media, six-sigma. Think super-macro-intuitive. We have proven we know that if you morph cyber-wirelessly then you may also implement efficiently. We will target the term "sticky". It seems marvelous, but it's completely realistic! It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to e-enable virtually than to optimize interactively. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, supply-chains are forced to become C2C2C. The efficient methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Our best-of-breed feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained structuring and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack portals. Think mega-sticky. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to deploy. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to visualize elegantly. Without e-businesses, you will lack infomediaries. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without preplanned synergies, fractal resource-constrained, customer-defined iteration are forced to become resource-constrained. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to drive intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XHTML. We will amplify our aptitude to deliver without devaluing our capability to monetize. Think cross-platform. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The capability to orchestrate intuitively leads to the ability to recontextualize seamlessly. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without performance, you will lack all-hands meetings. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for coping with unplanned-for channels?