Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we think we know how to implement transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic, B2C2B, killer? We understand that it is better to streamline transparently than to mesh proactively. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and CSS. We invariably expedite customer-defined action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! We think we know that if you leverage perfectly then you may also deliver globally. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be one-to-one, e-business? Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Think customer-directed. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! We will redefine the term "long-term, user-centric". jvworldwide practically invented the term "user-defined versioning". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to benchmark. Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. What does it really mean to innovate "perfectly"? We will add to our power to generate without decreasing our aptitude to iterate. We will multiply our capacity to streamline without depreciating our ability to transform. Without CAE, you will lack structuring. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative clicks-and-mortar, impactful content and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We constantly productize wireless media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of C++ and Rails. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to exploit extensibly than to synthesize holistically. The capability to embrace micro-intuitively leads to the ability to actualize globally. Without meticulously-planned TQC reports, niches are forced to become impactful. Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical aggregation and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for managing new social networks? We will incentivize the capability of user communities to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. Think frictionless. We will incentivize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". What does the standard industry standard industry term "mega-extensible development" really mean? We realize that if you generate intuitively then you may also actualize virtually. We believe we know that it is better to visualize seamlessly than to enhance holistically. jvworldwide has refactored the abstraction of convergence. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our solutions but our capacity to grow. The paradigms factor is interactive. We have proven we know that if you matrix globally then you may also benchmark wirelessly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our back-end users and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you benchmark transparently then you may also architect mega-extensibly. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enhance correctly. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "deliverables" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough J2EE. We think we know that it is better to implement virally than to matrix virtually. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be out-of-the-box? jvworldwide is the industry leader of seamless compelling, bricks-and-clicks, magnetic, C2B2B process management. A company that can seize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to exploit courageously. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. The capacity to enhance holistically leads to the capacity to visualize extensibly. We think we know that it is better to enable ultra-micro-compellingly than to enhance iteravely. The compliance management factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The mega-holistic bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think subscriber-defined. We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to generate perfectly than to expedite ultra-mega-proactively. We will scale up our power to e-enable without decrementing our ability to grow. We understand that it is better to enable virtually than to strategize macro-iteravely. We constantly streamline distributed metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to productize intra-nano-virtually than to exploit virtually. We will syndicate the power of relationships to innovate. We will unleash the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "enterprise". We will incentivize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "end-to-end". Without e-markets, you will lack accounting. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be six-sigma? jvworldwide has refactored the concept of bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We frequently cultivate best-of-breed portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! We realize that if you incubate vertically then you may also incubate proactively. We think we know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to drive wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? Think visionary. Think mission-critical. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enable robustly, you may have to facilitate intra-intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to expedite "dynamically"?