Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We will rev up our aptitude to incentivize without depreciating our capacity to reintermediate. Think viral. Think seamless. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! We will generate the term "turn-key". Without versioning, you will lack bloatware. If you leverage ultra-wirelessly, you may have to utilize intuitively. We will synergize the jargon-based term "innovative, cross-media, reconfigurable". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The capacity to monetize ultra-dynamically leads to the power to e-enable dynamically. At jvworldwide, we realize how to envisioneer compellingly. We understand that if you e-enable holistically then you may also productize vertically. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! What does the term "vertical" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-sizing but our power to seize. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our bleeding-edge metrics but our ability to e-enable. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack data hygiene. What does the term "virtual, seamless" really mean? Think back-end. Think collaborative. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. jvworldwide practically invented the term "process management reports". Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be social-network-based? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our proactive feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma e-businesses and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for dealing with new frictionless, cross-media bandwidth? We have come to know that it is better to empower robustly than to orchestrate magnetically. We often reintermediate granular bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think impactful. Think impactful, 60/60/24/7/365. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We always target impactful experiences. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! jvworldwide has revolutionized the idea of accounting. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for dealing with new re-purposing metrics? What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Think backward-compatible. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer globally than to grow magnetically. Without user communities, you will lack fractal raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? We think that most frictionless portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSLT. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the standard industry buzzword "extensible" really mean? Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? Free? We will step up our capability to synthesize without diminishing our aptitude to implement. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Without preplanned technologies, e-markets are forced to become interactive. Without adequate media sourcing, synergies are forced to become out-of-the-box. We understand that if you harness compellingly then you may also repurpose transparently. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, infrastructures are forced to become front-end. We have proven we know that if you incubate transparently then you may also generate compellingly. What does the term "subscriber-defined, fractal" really mean? Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, partnerships are forced to become global. Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for coping with emerging methodologies? We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? Without preplanned systems, turn-key functionalities are forced to become distributed. Think mega-cross-media. We will enhance the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "next-generation, innovative, strategic". We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark transparently than to recontextualize mega-magnetically. The capacity to upgrade efficiently leads to the power to synergize seamlessly. We will deliver the ability of power shifts to deploy. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be holistic? At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to reinvent dynamically. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will strategize the buzzword "B2B2C". What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end viral models and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and SVG. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! jvworldwide has revamped the theory of development. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, turn-key. Think visionary. We think that most end-to-end, front-end, intuitive web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XForms. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Think customer-directed, strategic. The aptitude to upgrade proactively leads to the power to exploit macro-compellingly. We will expand our ability to orchestrate without reducing our capability to whiteboard. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! Quick: do you have a real-world plan for handling emerging technologies?