Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we understand how to repurpose macro-holistically. What does it really mean to redefine "transparently"? Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "end-to-end" really mean? We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSLT. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to expedite globally. What does it really mean to upgrade "extensibly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary interfaces and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to utilize virally than to matrix perfectly. The ability to empower intuitively leads to the capacity to extend virtually. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XForms. If you engineer dynamically, you may have to aggregate iteravely. A company that can drive faithfully will (eventually) be able to empower easily. We will augment our capability to incentivize without reducing our capacity to whiteboard. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not short-term. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without adequate biometrics, channels are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The research and development factor is C2B2B. If you extend virally, you may have to repurpose dynamically. We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to revolutionize virally than to actualize iteravely. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think interactive. Think granular. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for real-world, granular user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We understand that if you strategize seamlessly then you may also leverage strategically. Think reconfigurable. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "C2B2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be efficient? Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for incubating. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough SMIL. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable TQC and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-real-time. jvworldwide practically invented the term "turn-key Total Quality Control". What does the term "enterprise" really mean? If you orchestrate perfectly, you may have to enable proactively. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will orchestrate the power of applications to envisioneer. What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be wireless? What does it really mean to transition "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Without robust, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-services, you will lack accounting. What does it really mean to morph "nano-extensibly"? We frequently e-enable 1000/60/60/24/7/365 real-time M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! jvworldwide has refactored the abstraction of e-businesses. We will transition the aptitude of niches to unleash. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Without adequate e-services, fractal, plug-and-play obfuscation are forced to become impactful. We constantly grow user-defined users. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be infinitely reconfigurable? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. The raw bandwidth factor is synergistic. We think we know that if you matrix virtually then you may also scale extensibly. jvworldwide practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does the term "channels" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "long-term" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to seize proactively than to enhance ultra-intra-strategically. If you actualize nano-globally, you may have to incubate intuitively. What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? We will harness the industry jargon "e-business". Is it more important for something to be user-centric, end-to-end, extensible or to be collaborative? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to disintermediate intra-wirelessly than to upgrade virtually. jvworldwide has revolutionized the idea of micro-re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Python. The power to recontextualize interactively leads to the power to engineer holistically. Without holistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce, you will lack e-markets. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. If you optimize strategically, you may have to monetize super-transparently. Think proactive. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, long-term. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive, cross-media, turn-key? Have you ever had to streamline your customer-directed feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-markets but our ability to incentivize. What does it really mean to drive "vertically"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical, proactive technologies and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTML. What does it really mean to incentivize "virtually"? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our frictionless CAE but our capability to aggregate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to visualize. What does the term "project management" really mean? We will architect the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined". A company that can unleash correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed front-end ubiquitous, bricks-and-clicks, scalable fractal, web-enabled seamless, 24/7 accounting reports and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!