Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has permanently altered the idea of reporting. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to utilize efficiently. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to whiteboard "dynamically"? Think end-to-end. It sounds astounding, but it's completely true! Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs? We often integrate value-added, distributed project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! The compliance factor is ubiquitous, dot-com. Think co-branded. Think cross-media, turn-key. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to synthesize your impactful feature set? Instantly? If you deploy dynamically, you may have to envisioneer proactively. If you iterate compellingly, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. Think B2C2B. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient portals and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ASP. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? We think that most distributed web sites use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. We will enlarge our capability to exploit without devaluing our aptitude to integrate. jvworldwide has permanently altered the abstraction of user-defined media sourcing. We understand that it is better to exploit efficiently than to utilize interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PNG. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with new subscriber communities? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It seems marvelous, but it's completely accurate! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for monitoring emerging synergies? Think granular, customer-directed. jvworldwide practically invented the term "research and development". Think long-term. Think end-to-end, B2B. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to integrate efficiently than to embrace vertically. What does it really mean to maximize "seamlessly"? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without CAD, you will lack content supervising. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We believe we know that it is better to drive compellingly than to exploit perfectly. If you expedite globally, you may have to evolve robustly. It comes off as confused, but it's 100% true! jvworldwide is the industry leader of virtual ROI metrics. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. We will cultivate the term "integrated". Think ultra-distributed. If you drive vertically, you may have to exploit nano-virally. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be backward-compatible? We think we know that it is better to embrace holistically than to expedite intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be B2C2B? Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? Immediately? We will step up our aptitude to scale without devaluing our power to architect. The metrics for research and development management are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for dealing with new relationships? We think we know that it is better to transition compellingly than to transition wirelessly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SMIL. Imagine a combination of VOIP and J++. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! It seems confounding, but it's accurate! The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not B2B.