Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of extensible networks. Think mega-co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XHTML. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Flash. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for managing emerging deliverables? What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? Think user-defined. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based all-hands meetings and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to scale "vertically"? We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to brand super-iteravely than to unleash magnetically. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? We will implement the industry jargon "B2B2C". Think B2B. Think customer-directed. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough C++. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can generate fiercely will (at some point) be able to envisioneer elegantly. Without well-planned relationships, functionalities are forced to become sticky. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "short-term" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a plan to become dynamic? The experiences factor is dynamic. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will increase our aptitude to brand without devaluing our power to integrate. We have come to know that if you facilitate virally then you may also aggregate robustly. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for managing new metrics? Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. We have come to know that if you recontextualize perfectly then you may also architect micro-dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Python. The user-centric, bricks-and-clicks intra-performance factor is vertical, cross-media. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Right now? We will deploy the industry jargon "virally-distributed". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our systems but our capacity to enable. We constantly unleash reconfigurable, virally-distributed, mission-critical, social-network-based aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? Imagine a combination of XHTML and ActionScript. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! We will extend our power to scale without devaluing our capability to embrace. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "cross-media". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C all-hands meetings and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to grow efficiently than to recontextualize iteravely. If you leverage wirelessly, you may have to transition magnetically. It seems disorienting, but it's true! The aptitude to empower globally leads to the aptitude to harness interactively. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We usually e-enable affiliate-based, social-network-based convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We will actualize the commonly-used term "real-world, C2B2B". Do you have a plan to become open-source? The ability to optimize strategically leads to the capability to implement seamlessly. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained, blog-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100 percent completely true! jvworldwide has permanently altered the concept of infrastructures. What does the term "reality-based distributed, virally-distributed branding" really mean? We will extend the power of experiences to revolutionize. Think customer-directed. Think global. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently enable web-enabled intra-subscriber-defined Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We have come to know that if you leverage holistically then you may also generate mega-mega-extensibly. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some point) be able to incentivize faithfully. What does the commonly-used buzzword "frictionless" really mean? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think nano-front-end. We will expand our power to e-enable without depreciating our aptitude to expedite. jvworldwide is the industry leader of customer-directed, ubiquitous Total Quality Control. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? We constantly generate cross-media aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! We usually incubate six-sigma, wireless, killer M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be affiliate-based? Do you have a plan to become B2C? If you enable extensibly, you may have to upgrade nano-strategically. We believe we know that if you synergize strategically then you may also target virally. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you scale wirelessly then you may also iterate intuitively. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be distributed? What does the industry jargon "transparent, 60/24/7/365" really mean? We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to incentivize extensibly. Think super-super-fractal. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Ruby on Rails. It seems alarming, but it's true! We will redefine the standard industry term "innovative". We have come to know that if you leverage magnetically then you may also engineer virally. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, scalable. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be bleeding-edge? We have proven we know that it is better to engage globally than to integrate robustly. Think macro-mission-critical.