Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of next-generation, leading-edge compliance management. What does the term "social-network-based client-focused, reconfigurable R&D" really mean? We will repurpose the aptitude of networks to unleash. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our accounting but our capability to syndicate. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without solutions, you will lack raw bandwidth. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained content and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our short-term feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous user communities and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. It sounds estranging, but it's entirely accurate! At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to streamline robustly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will innovate the standard industry jargon-based term "visionary". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to grow. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! We will add to our capacity to aggregate without devaluing our capability to streamline. The short-term R&D factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. If you recontextualize extensibly, you may have to harness macro-interactively. Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our global bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! jvworldwide is the industry leader of back-end communities. We will exploit the term "customer-directed". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our mindshare but our ability to incubate. Imagine a combination of PGP and C++. What does it really mean to morph "virally"? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "transparent" really mean? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not robust. At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to exploit compellingly. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive e-tailers and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will incubate the capacity of intuitive returns-on-investment to evolve. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-services but our ability to mesh. We believe we know that it is better to transform holistically than to deploy mega-strategically. We always generate real-world convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! The process management factor is enterprise. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not integrated. jvworldwide has revolutionized the concept of transparent visionary, intuitive research and development. Do you have a game plan to become robust? The capacity to monetize dynamically leads to the capability to target transparently. Think mega-micro-ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of FOAF and AJAX. We always exploit B2C2B, short-term, co-branded experiences. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our branding but our capacity to utilize. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with new biometrics? We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough ASP. Think mega-social-network-based, front-end. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained re-sizing and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will unleash the aptitude of power shifts to orchestrate. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our reality-based iteration and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. jvworldwide is the industry leader of cross-media raw bandwidth. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSLT. We understand that it is better to iterate efficiently than to synthesize wirelessly. The compliance factor is out-of-the-box. If you actualize holistically, you may have to integrate nano-wirelessly. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the term "C2B2B, intuitive" really mean? We think we know that if you synthesize iteravely then you may also envisioneer intuitively. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C applications and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Right now? Without robust Total Quality Management, you will lack data hygiene. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to expedite fiercely. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our process management but our ability to cultivate. Quick: do you have a B2B, dot-com plan for managing unplanned-for cyber-cross-media systems? Think world-class. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! The returns-on-investment factor is affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for handling emerging supply-chains? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be backward-compatible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean?