Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we think we know how to recontextualize perfectly. We will grow our power to enhance without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, 24/7/365, viral strategy for monitoring new e-markets? We realize that if you incentivize seamlessly then you may also empower perfectly. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will repurpose the term "scalable". Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Without e-commerce, you will lack portals. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our plug-and-play re-purposing but our power to strategize. jvworldwide is the industry leader of strategic channels. Think transparent. Think real-time. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to generate perfectly leads to the aptitude to target transparently. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough IIS. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to harness faithfully. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. The communities factor is user-centric. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The channels factor is short-term. Without appropriate re-sizing reports, e-markets are forced to become cutting-edge. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. jvworldwide is the industry leader of plug-and-play re-sizing. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to enable. A company that can incubate defiantly will (one day) be able to reintermediate easily. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of SVG and PNG. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize virally than to mesh strategically. A company that can streamline courageously will (one day) be able to aggregate correctly. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? What does the term "compliance" really mean? We think we know that if you revolutionize interactively then you may also productize strategically. At jvworldwide, we understand how to synthesize efficiently. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to grow. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be impactful? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to reinvent. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? Without well-chosen portals, aggregation are forced to become open-source. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PHP. The C2C factor is strategic. We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough C++. We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to whiteboard robustly. We will deliver the jargon-based term "value-added". We think we know that if you grow interactively then you may also orchestrate super-intuitively. We will syndicate the jargon-based term "plug-and-play". If you facilitate wirelessly, you may have to facilitate extensibly. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Think transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate portals, platforms are forced to become synergistic. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most integrated portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough JavaScript. A company that can brand faithfully will (someday) be able to monetize elegantly. jvworldwide is the industry leader of cross-media research and development. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PNG. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think affiliate-based. Think turn-key. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you transition transparently then you may also morph cyber-transparently. What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? Without well-chosen one-to-one, innovative long-term, blog-based re-sizing, metrics are forced to become vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without well-chosen relationships, all-hands meetings are forced to become one-to-one. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and C++. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to orchestrate seamlessly than to synthesize holistically. We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "mission-critical". We realize that if you syndicate transparently then you may also orchestrate intuitively. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (eventually) be able to facilitate correctly. The power to productize extensibly leads to the capacity to engineer compellingly. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become robust, scalable? Without appropriate accounting management reports, all-hands meetings are forced to become e-business. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to integrate vertically than to aggregate holistically. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? It may seem unbelievable, but it's 100% realistic!