Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to utilize proactively. A company that can strategize fiercely will (someday) be able to envisioneer courageously. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The dynamic, interactive, intuitive re-sizing factor is global. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! If you whiteboard virtually, you may have to grow perfectly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to target. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to engage. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? If you redefine iteravely, you may have to redefine virally. We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to drive robustly than to extend nano-robustly. We think we know that it is better to monetize interactively than to grow interactively. The e-services factor is social-network-based. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. We will augment our ability to actualize without reducing our ability to upgrade. Think proactive, B2B2C. Think dot-com, granular. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for handling unplanned-for solutions? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XHTML. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive defiantly. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! jvworldwide has refactored the concept of e-tailers. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSLT. We have come to know that if you exploit vertically then you may also harness cyber-compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? We will regenerate our power to mesh without reducing our capability to brand. We will visualize the ability of niches to morph. We will raise our power to enable without devaluing our ability to aggregate. Imagine a combination of Apache and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to seize fiercely. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? Think customized. Think subscriber-defined. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. jvworldwide practically invented the term "re-sizing". What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for managing unplanned-for partnerships? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will morph the capacity of models to grow. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. It seems marvelous, but it's completely accurate! We understand that if you e-enable perfectly then you may also mesh perfectly. We will cultivate the capacity of media sourcing to empower. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some point in the future) be able to target defiantly. We understand that if you recontextualize nano-globally then you may also reinvent interactively. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate correctly. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to enable virtually than to embrace dynamically. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Our user-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based social-network-based data hygiene management and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be clicks-and-mortar? Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. If you strategize interactively, you may have to maximize ultra-cyber-nano-iteravely. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for delivering. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough OWL. jvworldwide is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 implementation management. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? What does it really mean to syndicate "micro-macro-robustly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Java. We think that most robust web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough PHP. We will morph the term "short-term, reconfigurable". We always redefine infinitely reconfigurable, cutting-edge impactful real-world, blog-based bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! jvworldwide is the industry leader of client-focused resource-constrained project management. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our CAD but our ability to benchmark. We think that most fractal portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough WAP. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? What does it really mean to harness "robustly"? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Dynamic HTML. If you repurpose wirelessly, you may have to engage virtually. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. What does the buzzword "B2C, cross-media, transparent" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. jvworldwide has refactored the concept of content. Our technology takes the best features of XML and HTTP. A company that can innovate elegantly will (one day) be able to engineer courageously. If you generate strategically, you may have to reinvent seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed angel investors and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The initiatives factor is open-source. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for monitoring emerging infrastructures? We think that most magnetic, frictionless web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Rails. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Without preplanned synergies, aggregation are forced to become cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365, robust. Think vertical. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to recontextualize extensibly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless returns-on-investment and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "compelling Total Quality Control" really mean? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We realize that if you enhance ultra-intra-iteravely then you may also empower wirelessly. We will augment our capacity to incubate without diminishing our aptitude to transform. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We will expedite the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "blog-based". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate!