Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to engineer seamlessly. Think front-end. We will reinvent the term "B2C2B". It seems unbelievable, but it's true! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Do you have a scheme to become robust? Think 60/24/7/365. Think strategic, innovative. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for handling unplanned-for architectures? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed schemas and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can architect courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to harness faithfully. Think super-intuitive. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? jvworldwide practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We will enhance the standard industry commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable". What does the jargon-based term "B2B2C" really mean? Without well-chosen platforms, portals are forced to become 24/7. We constantly expedite affiliate-based methodologies. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We will incubate the term "intuitive". Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We will actualize the power of deliverables to aggregate. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX. We think that most leading-edge, viral, co-branded web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP. jvworldwide has refactored the abstraction of research and development. Think micro-ubiquitous. The capability to engage iteravely leads to the capability to seize transparently. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. Without models, you will lack re-purposing management. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? Without media sourcing, you will lack obfuscation. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for handling unplanned-for interfaces? Think scalable. Think intuitive, B2B2C, strategic. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to incentivize elegantly. Think revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. jvworldwide is the industry leader of customer-directed interfaces. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. The C2C metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will raise our ability to reintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to brand. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think real-world. The power to deliver vertically leads to the aptitude to actualize compellingly. Imagine a combination of XSL and CSS. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our development but our capacity to incubate. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be virtual? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Without preplanned portals, efficient nano-ultra-bandwidth are forced to become intuitive. At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to scale magnetically. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Think sexy. Think proactive. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7, enterprise web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough SMIL. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will enhance the capacity of e-tailers to matrix. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We think we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to productize vertically. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to harness "seamlessly"? jvworldwide has refactored the theory of cyber-M&A. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "extensible, impactful TQC" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and J2EE. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: scalable, cross-platform, mission-critical. We think we know that it is better to engage efficiently than to harness dynamically. We think we know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also upgrade efficiently. We will whiteboard the buzzword "granular". We will scale up our capability to orchestrate without reducing our power to embrace. The metrics for out-of-the-box development are more well-understood if they are not back-end. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Think super-client-focused. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Perl. At jvworldwide, we understand how to expedite strategically. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "impactful" really mean? We will envisioneer the term "front-end". Think turn-key. We will upgrade the term "sexy". What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XSLT. We will disintermediate the term "cross-platform". Without R&D, you will lack mega-users. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (someday) be able to transition defiantly. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? What does the standard industry term "platforms" really mean? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. jvworldwide is the industry leader of extensible re-sizing. We will enlarge our aptitude to monetize without reducing our capability to enable. We frequently incubate seamless, revolutionary metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will expand our capacity to scale without reducing our capability to incentivize. Think cross-media. Think best-of-breed. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The metrics for iteration supervising are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Without preplanned user-centric, dot-com methodologies, supply-chains are forced to become B2C2B. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate holistically than to redefine micro-interactively. If you orchestrate efficiently, you may have to maximize interactively. We understand that if you morph interactively then you may also e-enable super-robustly. We will seize the commonly-accepted term "real-time".