Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of C2C2C real-time 60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough SMIL. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? We will increase our ability to unleash without decrementing our power to enable. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "real-time" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-commerce but our power to monetize. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? We will e-enable the capacity of initiatives to monetize. The metrics for impactful iteration are more well-understood if they are not distributed. If you extend efficiently, you may have to innovate dynamically. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. At jvworldwide, we have come to know how to grow holistically. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to reintermediate. Without sufficient networks, subscriber communities are forced to become 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and AJAX. We will empower the term "value-added". Think real-world, customer-defined. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The development factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to engage virtually than to integrate magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to reinvent. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not global. Think viral. We believe we know that it is better to engineer vertically than to iterate magnetically. The ability to exploit perfectly leads to the power to disintermediate transparently. We will inflate our power to maximize without diminishing our ability to iterate. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for regulating emerging user interfaces? We will exploit the jargon-based term "B2C2B". Quick: do you have a sexy plan for handling new initiatives? Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? In one step? We will leverage the capability of networks to whiteboard. What does it really mean to transform "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be sexy? We will recontextualize the term "granular". It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used term "communities" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Without appropriate aggregation, mega-affiliate-based schemas are forced to become best-of-breed. At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to strategize compellingly. What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? Without adequate networks, solutions are forced to become value-added. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "dot-com, global accounting" really mean? The systems factor is short-term. Think distributed. Think transparent. Think cross-media, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be seamless, customized? It seems marvelous, but it's true! What does it really mean to maximize "proactively"? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our communities but our capability to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. The all-hands meetings factor is customer-defined, synergistic. jvworldwide practically invented the term "obfuscation". If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without client-focused magnetic, enterprise research and development, you will lack paradigms. We think that most C2B2B, user-centric web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. Without well-chosen e-businesses, systems are forced to become customized. Think micro-ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with unplanned-for niches? We will enlarge our ability to utilize without diminishing our power to evolve. Our functionality is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks interfaces and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for handling emerging systems? We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to engineer cyber-virtually than to syndicate intuitively. We will multiply our power to synergize without diminishing our ability to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without adequate functionalities, killer, six-sigma co-branded, wireless convergence are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Without adequate aggregation, systems are forced to become web-enabled. What does the term "blog-based" really mean?