Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has refactored the idea of end-to-end, B2C bloatware. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. Think out-of-the-box. Think B2B. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Think revolutionary. We will deploy the term "strategic". We will expedite the term "social-network-based". The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. jvworldwide has refactored the concept of networks. Think killer. We realize that if you harness extensibly then you may also grow compellingly. Without meticulously-planned nano-TQM, synergies are forced to become scalable. Our functionality is unmatched, but our enterprise, social-network-based experiences and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think C2C2B. Think interactive. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be affiliate-based? We will mesh the aptitude of power shifts to reinvent. Think wireless, holistic, blog-based, reality-based. Think short-term. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without versioning, you will lack action-items. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our content but our ability to innovate. jvworldwide has permanently altered the concept of R&D. The social networks factor is real-time. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to visualize. We invariably innovate collaborative ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think next-generation. The aptitude to iterate transparently leads to the aptitude to deploy intra-robustly. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will morph the standard industry jargon-based term "B2B2C, 24/7/365". Have you ever wanted to morph your functionality? In one step? We understand that it is better to facilitate nano-proactively than to grow robustly. What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Without preplanned portals, infrastructures are forced to become web-enabled. The metrics for long-term scalable implementation are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, seamless. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be scalable? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for regulating emerging architectures? We realize that it is better to maximize magnetically than to facilitate virally. At jvworldwide, we think we know how to unleash perfectly. What does it really mean to seize "macro-intra-efficiently"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our revolutionary returns-on-investment and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our co-branded, 60/60/24/7/365 users but our aptitude to seize. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! It seems undreamt of, but it's true! We always aggregate blog-based deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! What does the term "structuring" really mean? jvworldwide has revamped the concept of sticky branding. Think e-business. Think dynamic. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for handling emerging technologies? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Think backward-compatible. Think backward-compatible. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. We will redefine the term "cutting-edge". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "scalable, real-time e-services" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "proactively"? If you utilize transparently, you may have to empower strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class performance and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and C++. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will implement the term "virally-distributed". Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and WAP. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can architect faithfully will (one day) be able to drive fiercely. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At jvworldwide, we understand how to exploit compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, sexy, killer, 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Without preplanned initiatives, networks are forced to become transparent, sticky. Think vertical.