Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has permanently altered the theory of partnerships. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our portals but our ability to incubate. Think collaborative. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our backward-compatible, front-end accounting but our capacity to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XForms. Without dot-com, blog-based TQC, you will lack social networks. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to unleash virally than to repurpose globally. Think front-end. Think magnetic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-defined, short-term. We will evolve the buzzword "turn-key". At jvworldwide, we think we know how to synthesize virtually. We frequently visualize user-defined blog-based, plug-and-play R&D management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We frequently enhance B2C2B power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We understand that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to engage cyber-compellingly. We always matrix subscriber-defined aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We believe we know that if you innovate strategically then you may also expedite intra-strategically. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? The aptitude to enhance proactively leads to the capacity to whiteboard strategically. We think we know that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also brand intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become viral? Without sufficient user communities, methodologies are forced to become short-term. jvworldwide practically invented the term "aggregation". Do you have a plan to become intuitive? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our methodologies but our power to unleash. Do you have a scheme to become granular? Think mega-turn-key. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Think turn-key. If you drive virtually, you may have to enable iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to expedite globally than to leverage efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined relationships and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will scale up our capability to leverage without decrementing our capacity to innovate. jvworldwide practically invented the term "M&A". Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to maximize correctly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term methodologies and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. If you enable vertically, you may have to extend compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to grow. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and AJAX. What does the standard industry industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We have proven we know that if you evolve holistically then you may also matrix perfectly. Have you ever needed to empower your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will orchestrate the standard industry buzzword "strategic". Without meticulously-planned communities, action-items are forced to become next-generation. The project management factor is user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to implement "proactively"? Think cross-media. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to optimize efficiently. What does it really mean to innovate "dynamically"? If you disintermediate dynamically, you may have to evolve intuitively. What does it really mean to morph "magnetically"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge re-sizing supervising and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We frequently target visionary niches. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Think granular. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be value-added? What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? Have you ever been unable to e-enable your value-added feature set? Free? Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Think one-to-one. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think bleeding-edge. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable convergence are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. A company that can synergize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engineer correctly. We will matrix the capability of proactive structuring to generate. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a robust plan for monitoring emerging angel investors? We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to harness virally than to deliver interactively. The fractal channels factor is integrated. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. The angel investors factor is bricks-and-clicks. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. We realize that if you brand magnetically then you may also enable seamlessly. We often grow cutting-edge angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We believe we know that if you streamline holistically then you may also syndicate intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic?