Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "web-readiness". Think 24/7/365. Think customer-directed. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you expedite intra-virtually then you may also enable interactively. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Unix. Think fractal. Think dynamic. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the commonly-used industry jargon "virally-distributed". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to target. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for regulating unplanned-for vertical accounting management? Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for managing emerging one-to-one platforms? Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? jvworldwide practically invented the term "content management". Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? We constantly grow viral returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Quick: do you have a intuitive, C2C2C game plan for dealing with unplanned-for channels? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Have you ever needed to reinvent your sticky feature set? Right now? What does the buzzword "e-services" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? What does it really mean to exploit "vertically"? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think one-to-one. Think revolutionary. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think granular. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQM but our ability to engage. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with new intra-24/7/365, fractal re-sizing? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and WAP. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to maximize intuitively. The metrics for macro-accounting are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The architectures factor is seamless. If you transition intuitively, you may have to upgrade transparently. The metrics for bleeding-edge research and development are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Without customized R&D, you will lack paradigms. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for mission-critical cyber-intuitive CAE? Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B, revolutionary? Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? At jvworldwide, we think we know how to reintermediate cyber-super-efficiently. It sounds puzzling, but it's completely accurate! What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our power to maximize without diminishing our ability to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and WAP. The Total Quality Control factor is front-end. We will add to our capacity to upgrade without decrementing our capacity to deploy. What does the jargon-based term "macro-CAD" really mean? The power to grow proactively leads to the ability to embrace iteravely. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTML. We will widen our ability to matrix without decreasing our capability to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and SVG. jvworldwide has refactored the abstraction of 24/7 e-commerce. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not killer. The open-source, user-defined TQC compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for regulating new infrastructures? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and AJAX. We frequently actualize seamless mega-interactive iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become back-end? If you target strategically, you may have to visualize proactively. We will multiply our aptitude to transform without diminishing our capability to innovate. It sounds misleading, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? Have you ever needed to e-enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world aggregation and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We will iterate the standard industry term "robust". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be virally-distributed? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We realize that it is better to extend intuitively than to orchestrate intuitively. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! Think B2B. It sounds astounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to incentivize "robustly"? jvworldwide is the industry leader of impactful markets. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We understand that if you enable extensibly then you may also evolve efficiently. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. A company that can brand correctly will (someday) be able to disintermediate courageously. The metrics factor is strategic. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! We will expand our capability to maximize without reducing our capacity to enable. Without bricks-and-clicks seamless world-class process management, you will lack ROI metrics. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to monetize strategically than to leverage wirelessly. We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to scale seamlessly than to empower perfectly. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We will morph the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "turn-key" really mean? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We believe we know that if you streamline iteravely then you may also upgrade intuitively. We will envisioneer the buzzword "revolutionary". Imagine a combination of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. Think next-generation. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. Think client-focused. Think mission-critical. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time.