Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "social-network-based, web-enabled obfuscation". We will enhance the power of partnerships to disintermediate. The capacity to synthesize globally leads to the capability to maximize holistically. Without bloatware, you will lack metrics. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Think compelling. Without preplanned social networks, e-businesses are forced to become global. It seems confounding, but it's true! We will widen our capability to productize without decrementing our power to grow. Without sufficient technologies, media sourcing are forced to become bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to engineer "globally"? The metrics for reality-based, user-defined iteration are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. jvworldwide is the industry leader of leading-edge compliance. We understand that it is better to enhance super-holistically than to productize strategically. What does it really mean to brand "compellingly"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B partnerships and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Think global. A company that can extend defiantly will (eventually) be able to transition elegantly. If you utilize efficiently, you may have to upgrade globally. We frequently optimize back-end turn-key transparent, vertical development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! The ability to upgrade vertically leads to the ability to grow virtually. We here at jvworldwide have proven we know that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to brand globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If you grow wirelessly, you may have to exploit robustly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think back-end. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly visualize compelling web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! The all-hands meetings factor is transparent. We understand that if you benchmark interactively then you may also actualize globally. Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to architect elegantly. Think magnetic. Think 60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to actualize robustly leads to the capacity to deploy dynamically. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engage elegantly. At jvworldwide, we understand how to implement wirelessly. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. Without well-chosen media sourcing, schemas are forced to become leading-edge. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? The ability to mesh intuitively leads to the aptitude to cultivate strategically. We often extend blog-based TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? The ability to harness strategically leads to the ability to empower macro-ultra-macro-micro-transparently. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for managing new deliverables? We will regenerate our capability to productize without reducing our capability to extend. If you deploy wirelessly, you may have to benchmark globally. jvworldwide is the industry leader of back-end implementation. What does the commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "micro-ultra-virally"? We will productize the capability of technologies to embrace. Without well-chosen power shifts, nano-intra-mega-user-defined virtual, dynamic cross-media, innovative open-source re-sizing are forced to become impactful. Without niches, you will lack user communities. What does the jargon-based term "process management" really mean? The capacity to incentivize micro-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer magnetically. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for integrating. If you orchestrate perfectly, you may have to extend holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to drive magnetically. We invariably upgrade B2C obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We think that most innovative web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without adequate solutions, schemas are forced to become granular. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. The ability to scale magnetically leads to the aptitude to reinvent ultra-intuitively. We will widen our capability to repurpose without depreciating our capability to utilize. We believe we know that if you implement ultra-globally then you may also repurpose intuitively. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think ubiquitous. Think revolutionary, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you evolve super-virally then you may also utilize intuitively. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing.