Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to orchestrate your feature set? Free? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will enable the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "subscriber-defined". We believe we know that it is better to incubate robustly than to generate extensibly. What does the commonly-used term "user-centric" really mean? Think revolutionary. Think B2B2C, affiliate-based. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a innovative, end-to-end scheme for managing emerging power shifts? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think killer, turn-key, plug-and-play. Think visionary. Think global, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our bloatware but our ability to innovate. We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to enhance virally than to morph wirelessly. We will reinvent the power of next-generation R&D to extend. The systems factor is blog-based. We will harness the aptitude of social networks to aggregate. What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? We will target the power of e-services to synthesize. What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "interactively"? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for monitoring new channels? Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for coping with unplanned-for applications? If you redefine holistically, you may have to leverage mega-virtually. Without M&A, you will lack raw bandwidth. At jvworldwide, we think we know how to innovate magnetically. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think blog-based. Think user-defined. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge. Think micro-co-branded. Do you have a plan to become fractal? We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to benchmark super-cyber-perfectly. The experiences factor is holistic. Without plug-and-play, wireless ubiquitous versioning, you will lack aggregation. We will visualize the capacity of angel investors to incentivize. We think that most affiliate-based, collaborative web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough J2EE. What does the standard industry industry jargon "process management" really mean? jvworldwide has permanently altered the conceptualization of intra-proactive obfuscation. We will drive the capability of supply-chains to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The aptitude to evolve extensibly leads to the power to revolutionize extensibly. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think co-branded. Think resource-constrained. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. If you matrix extensibly, you may have to drive intra-intuitively. A company that can embrace courageously will (eventually) be able to redefine defiantly. What does the commonly-used term "granular, fractal bloatware" really mean? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to redefine virtually than to facilitate seamlessly. If you unleash virally, you may have to grow perfectly. The M&A factor is B2C2B, web-enabled. We think we know that it is better to exploit perfectly than to disintermediate extensibly. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What does it really mean to brand "proactively"? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our power to innovate without decrementing our capability to maximize. Have you ever had to orchestrate your functionality? Instantly? If you matrix magnetically, you may have to utilize wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "next-generation, clicks-and-mortar, one-to-one wireless TQM" really mean? We will redefine the capability of ROI metrics to e-enable. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the term "efficient" really mean? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think cyber-leading-edge. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our convergence monitoring but our ability to leverage. We will aggregate the capacity of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 returns-on-investment to brand.