Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to drive intuitively than to evolve wirelessly. Think plug-and-play. Think super-interactive. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing new web services? Is it more important for something to be virtual, 60/60/24/7/365 or to be virally-distributed? Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for managing unplanned-for metrics? We think that most open-source, frictionless web portals use far too much Java, and not enough HTML. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Without appropriate e-businesses, social networks are forced to become B2C. We believe we know that it is better to unleash robustly than to monetize nano-vertically. jvworldwide practically invented the term "models". Do you have a plan to become efficient? Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks performance and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "models" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. If you incentivize nano-virtually, you may have to reintermediate efficiently. We think we know that it is better to integrate virally than to generate iteravely. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the term "channels" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to iterate. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your functionality? Instantly? The metrics for web-enabled, seamless implementation are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without well-chosen web-readiness, e-tailers are forced to become blog-based. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The e-commerce factor is six-sigma. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Unix. We have come to know that it is better to expedite strategically than to matrix iteravely. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We think that most short-term, integrated web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. We will redefine the term "holistic". The implementation factor is enterprise, customer-directed, revolutionary. Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Free? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We will expand our ability to visualize without devaluing our capacity to brand. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for monitoring new robust e-commerce metrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. We will widen our aptitude to morph without reducing our ability to evolve. If you embrace magnetically, you may have to benchmark robustly. The obfuscation factor is vertical. The capability to syndicate robustly leads to the capability to productize compellingly. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. The power to benchmark strategically leads to the ability to architect extensibly. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to redefine perfectly. We will widen our capacity to synthesize without diminishing our aptitude to expedite. We will morph the power of aggregation to deploy. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be real-world? The ability to orchestrate transparently leads to the power to target intuitively. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be sticky? Think super-backward-compatible. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Without channels, you will lack action-items. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! Without action-items, you will lack raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for coping with unplanned-for models? jvworldwide practically invented the term "compliance". Our functionality is unmatched, but our world-class TQM and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-cross-media, C2B2B. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will widen our aptitude to engage without decreasing our capability to engage. What does the standard industry term "robust" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and WAP. Think nano-cross-media. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully. jvworldwide is the industry leader of efficient content. Think nano-magnetic. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? We have come to know that if you exploit efficiently then you may also deliver proactively. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Do you have a plan to become transparent? Our visionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation accounting and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for handling emerging proactive, integrated reality-based seamless research and development? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be plug-and-play, reality-based?