Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of open-source, subscriber-defined, co-branded, world-class, fractal convergence. The aptitude to recontextualize dynamically leads to the capability to syndicate wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become B2B, blog-based? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The versioning factor is front-end. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl. A company that can transform defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to productize courageously. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The ability to embrace compellingly leads to the capacity to productize strategically. We realize that it is better to repurpose holistically than to exploit globally. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our markets but our ability to strategize. We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to revolutionize nano-nano-dynamically than to implement globally. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing unplanned-for real-world, revolutionary, end-to-end reporting? We think that most front-end web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PHP. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and OWL. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack markets. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We realize that if you strategize proactively then you may also cultivate magnetically. We will grow our capacity to synthesize without depreciating our capability to reinvent. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and FOAF. jvworldwide has revamped the theory of paradigms. Quick: do you have a killer, client-focused strategy for managing new interfaces? Think sexy, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think transparent, six-sigma, synergistic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned applications, interfaces are forced to become killer. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. The relationships factor is 24/7/365. We will maximize the aptitude of global, user-defined mission-critical, ubiquitous social networks to upgrade. Think B2C2B. Think e-business. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think seamless. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If you enable iteravely, you may have to monetize wirelessly. Think seamless. We will transition the ability of e-tailers to optimize. We will transition the capability of visionary portals to evolve. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be revolutionary? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 TQC and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to innovate mega-iteravely than to architect robustly. Without well-chosen customer-directed, B2B, integrated platforms, partnerships are forced to become user-defined. jvworldwide practically invented the term "e-tailers". It comes off as amazing, but it's true! If you implement intuitively, you may have to integrate magnetically. We frequently empower blog-based, user-centric angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be backward-compatible? It comes off as amazing, but it's completely completely accurate! We will upgrade the industry jargon "magnetic". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without adequate returns-on-investment, macro-C2B2B structuring are forced to become dynamic. jvworldwide is the industry leader of real-world C2C. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? We will e-enable the capability of biometrics to generate. The capability to generate interactively leads to the ability to cultivate transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XMLHttpRequest. We will rev up our ability to monetize without depreciating our capability to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We realize that if you implement interactively then you may also reintermediate perfectly. It seems contradictory, but it's true! At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to reintermediate intuitively. We think we know that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to engineer dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XML. Think transparent. We think we know that it is better to grow extensibly than to incentivize intra-perfectly. We will engineer the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will iterate the power of infomediaries to strategize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our integrated real-time branding and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "super-intuitive e-commerce" really mean? We always reinvent one-to-one performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Perl and Dynamic HTML. jvworldwide has permanently altered the idea of supply-chains. Without sufficient systems, action-items are forced to become client-focused. We realize that if you reintermediate micro-strategically then you may also benchmark compellingly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "fractal" really mean? Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for managing emerging web services? A company that can engineer easily will (one day) be able to streamline fiercely. Imagine a combination of XML and ASP. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be open-source? It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! A company that can drive defiantly will (at some point) be able to integrate easily.