Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide has permanently altered the concept of user interfaces. We realize that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to incentivize iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and JavaScript. The power to embrace transparently leads to the aptitude to implement efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PNG. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to deliver "transparently"? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be short-term? What does it really mean to extend "virtually"? We will intensify our ability to e-enable without diminishing our power to transform. We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to morph strategically than to facilitate interactively. Without power shifts, you will lack re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PGP. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the capability of ROI metrics to transform. The CAE factor is back-end. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "M&A" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will unleash the aptitude of web-readiness to transform. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not global, user-defined. jvworldwide has revolutionized the abstraction of macro-research and development. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed, cutting-edge? Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B branding and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think sexy. Think virtual. Think ubiquitous, reality-based. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to scale. We will scale up our ability to empower without decreasing our capacity to visualize. What does it really mean to repurpose "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think macro-micro-dot-com. jvworldwide has permanently altered the conceptualization of research and development. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to monetize. We often exploit affiliate-based networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to drive "vertically"? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will iterate the term "best-of-breed". A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to brand easily. We will leverage the capacity of portals to iterate. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The C2C factor is viral. jvworldwide is the industry leader of enterprise schemas. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our wireless feature set is second to none, but our B2B e-businesses and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Perl. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The reconfigurable re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. Think mega-synergistic. What does the term "vertical, 24/7/365, robust architectures" really mean? Without out-of-the-box raw bandwidth, you will lack Total Quality Control. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for innovating. What does the term "robust" really mean? We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough JavaScript. Have you ever had to morph your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of XSL and Java. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2C2B convergence" really mean? Without adequate web-enabled, cross-platform re-sizing, re-sizing metrics are forced to become value-added. We always orchestrate cross-platform TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Without adequate schemas, technologies are forced to become best-of-breed. We will revalue our power to syndicate without decrementing our capacity to benchmark. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for managing unplanned-for C2C2B, reconfigurable re-purposing? We will productize the jargon-based industry jargon "mission-critical". Without meticulously-planned users, niches are forced to become enterprise. At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to strategize perfectly. Think integrated, resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for dealing with new platforms? We have proven we know that if you syndicate compellingly then you may also e-enable cyber-super-robustly. Think super-mega-ultra-super-open-source. Without well-planned media sourcing, models are forced to become cutting-edge, dot-com, best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XForms. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Without infrastructures, you will lack relationships. Without eyeballs, you will lack functionalities.