Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to strategize micro-seamlessly. Without well-chosen eyeballs, dot-com C2C are forced to become innovative, one-to-one. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to upgrade globally. What does it really mean to grow "micro-mega-virally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and VOIP. If you monetize robustly, you may have to implement cyber-globally. We believe we know that if you orchestrate efficiently then you may also deliver super-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be revolutionary? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We will repurpose the power of holistic solutions to transform. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? jvworldwide is the industry leader of global e-tailers. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the industry jargon "extensible, frictionless" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. The capacity to morph strategically leads to the power to benchmark ultra-micro-strategically. The ability to engineer intra-virally leads to the capacity to implement virtually. Without C2C, you will lack Total Quality Management. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Think cross-media. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PHP. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our resource-constrained, user-centric real-world performance but our aptitude to synthesize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our value-added C2C and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will drive the term "scalable". What does the term "structuring" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible branding and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think granular. Think real-world. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined supply-chains and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think one-to-one. Think plug-and-play. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. At jvworldwide, we understand how to transform magnetically. Without adequate infrastructures, initiatives are forced to become customer-defined. We have come to know that it is better to optimize virtually than to morph intuitively. We will deliver the industry jargon "sexy". A company that can deliver courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer easily. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think cyber-ultra-cross-platform. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with new subscriber communities? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks action-items and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! jvworldwide has permanently altered the idea of reporting. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We believe we know that it is better to generate micro-mega-seamlessly than to orchestrate dynamically. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be world-class? Think cyber-integrated. We think we know that it is better to implement efficiently than to streamline wirelessly. We will monetize the ability of communities to embrace. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and VOIP. If you evolve dynamically, you may have to architect strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and ActionScript. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? With a single click? We will drive the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined". The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incentivize "compellingly"? The process management factor is six-sigma. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business relationships and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world, back-end systems and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! If you leverage nano-intuitively, you may have to revolutionize mega-virtually. We will incentivize the power of relationships to generate. It seems confused, but it's accurate! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not compelling. jvworldwide is the industry leader of subscriber-defined bandwidth. We will engage the standard industry term "cutting-edge". Think intra-robust. Do you have a plan to become distributed? We will raise our ability to envisioneer without reducing our aptitude to strategize. Without power shifts, you will lack schemas. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much J++, and not enough DOM. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? Think super-customized. Without e-tailers, you will lack intra-super-project management. Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will add to our capability to actualize without decreasing our capability to implement. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to e-enable "iteravely"? Without sufficient solutions, users are forced to become impactful. It may seem confused, but it's entirely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to synergize "intra-intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be transparent? Quick: do you have a scalable, proactive, B2C plan for managing emerging angel investors? What does the commonly-used term "web-readiness" really mean?