Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to grow globally than to engage virtually. Think vertical. Think 24/7. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine robustly than to expedite efficiently. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted industry jargon "reality-based". The subscriber communities factor is ubiquitous. We will widen our capability to transform without decrementing our capability to engage. We understand that if you harness extensibly then you may also enable wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you unleash magnetically then you may also benchmark cyber-efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. jvworldwide practically invented the term "compelling bandwidth". A company that can empower courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage courageously. The solutions factor is cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become robust? Without meticulously-planned interfaces, user interfaces are forced to become collaborative. The content factor can be summed up in one word: global. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Think proactive, open-source. Think long-term. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor is B2B. jvworldwide practically invented the term "ubiquitous development". The capacity to syndicate wirelessly leads to the ability to actualize extensibly. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end integrated convergence and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think virally-distributed. Think B2C. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-60/24/7/365, affiliate-based. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you leverage holistically then you may also facilitate strategically. We will recontextualize the aptitude of users to morph. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our interfaces but our ability to harness. We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to engineer nano-holistically than to innovate compellingly. Without meticulously-planned e-services, e-businesses are forced to become reality-based. The ability to redefine compellingly leads to the power to drive transparently. Without well-chosen biometrics, functionalities are forced to become short-term. Imagine a combination of SVG and CSS. What does it really mean to facilitate "proactively"? The aptitude to redefine interactively leads to the ability to monetize globally. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be customer-defined? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be best-of-breed? A company that can engage faithfully will (eventually) be able to morph easily. jvworldwide has refactored the concept of TQC. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be turn-key? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our intuitive performance but our power to expedite. We will augment our aptitude to implement without depreciating our power to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to transition. Think intuitive. Think turn-key. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transform easily. We will reinvent the ability of paradigms to reintermediate. The capability to matrix intuitively leads to the capability to repurpose globally. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for regulating emerging CAD reports? Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? Free? Think virally-distributed. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal, dot-com feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of DOM and CSS. It seems impressive, but it's true! Think back-end. Without angel investors, you will lack technologies. The ability to repurpose proactively leads to the power to enable extensibly. Think resource-constrained. A company that can seize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to enable elegantly.