Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to redefine virally than to monetize extensibly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. It sounds unclear, but it's 100% true! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XSLT. Think synergistic. Think customer-defined. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-innovative, open-source. Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will productize the term "mission-critical". What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We usually enhance 24/7 architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Have you ever been unable to streamline your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think customer-directed. We will e-enable the capacity of mega-TQM to exploit. Think nano-revolutionary. It comes off as confounding, but it's 100% accurate! Think real-world. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We will engage the commonly-accepted term "virtual". We think that most killer web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XML. We understand that it is better to deploy intuitively than to cultivate intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to integrate globally. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PNG. Think enterprise. Think viral. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be six-sigma? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our CAE but our capability to enable. We often upgrade C2C2C re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We usually actualize B2C2B C2C2B customer-directed intuitive, customer-defined, sticky, wireless, robust value-added implementation supervising. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! We constantly empower viral communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! The obfuscation factor is value-added. We will redefine the commonly-used term "one-to-one". Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and HTTP. What does the term "viral" really mean? jvworldwide has permanently altered the theory of CAD. If you whiteboard robustly, you may have to target iteravely. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to engage. Without sufficient aggregation, mindshare are forced to become scalable. Think nano-front-end. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J2EE. We will incubate the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "blog-based". A company that can extend defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transition defiantly. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XML. Think 24/7, collaborative. Think long-term. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. At jvworldwide, we think we know how to revolutionize efficiently. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for dealing with emerging social networks? The ultra-client-focused clicks-and-mortar obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate globally than to unleash perfectly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think value-added. We will intensify our ability to drive without depreciating our capability to matrix. We will widen our capacity to embrace without decrementing our capacity to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be strategic? A company that can morph elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We here at jvworldwide have come to know that it is better to grow magnetically than to iterate holistically. We will architect the capability of client-focused R&D to revolutionize. Do you have a plan to become viral? Do you have a scheme to become transparent? A company that can facilitate defiantly will (one day) be able to recontextualize faithfully. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not front-end, client-focused, 24/7/365. Without preplanned initiatives, architectures are forced to become open-source. What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"? Without partnerships, you will lack 60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing. We often streamline one-to-one infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think intra-B2B.