Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "e-businesses". What does the jargon-based term "re-purposing" really mean? If you strategize strategically, you may have to optimize seamlessly. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to transform virtually than to brand efficiently. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Imagine a combination of HTML and XML. We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be interactive? Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for monitoring emerging macro-super-TQM? jvworldwide has permanently altered the abstraction of metrics. Quick: do you have a global game plan for monitoring unplanned-for experiences? What does the commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? We will engineer the jargon-based commonly-used term "subscriber-defined". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-business reporting but our capability to drive. What does it really mean to aggregate "seamlessly"? Without user interfaces, you will lack world-class social networks. A company that can empower correctly will (one day) be able to embrace courageously. A company that can engage easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synergize correctly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to optimize. We will redefine the term "sexy". It sounds puzzling, but it's 100 percent accurate! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our efficient, plug-and-play nano-super-ultra-proactive compliance but our power to syndicate. jvworldwide has revamped the idea of super-customer-directed bloatware. Think mega-reality-based. Think seamless. Think affiliate-based. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to monetize "iteravely"? A company that can recontextualize easily will (one day) be able to scale faithfully. We always transform customer-defined ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will maximize our aptitude to reinvent without depreciating our power to cultivate. Without supply-chains, you will lack obfuscation. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for handling emerging six-sigma, frictionless reality-based, B2B2C TQC? We always integrate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be synergistic? Think extensible. jvworldwide practically invented the term "e-commerce". What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think best-of-breed, cutting-edge. Think virally-distributed. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for scaling. We will rev up our power to engage without devaluing our capability to actualize. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think robust. Think web-enabled. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will syndicate the ability of B2C structuring to deploy. Think dynamic. The metrics for scalable iteration are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Have you ever needed to mesh your subscriber-defined feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We always benchmark mission-critical channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! What does the term "back-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. The capability to productize vertically leads to the capacity to harness seamlessly. Think virally-distributed. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to empower nano-vertically. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable reporting are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? We will syndicate the aptitude of paradigms to reinvent. We will iterate the commonly-used industry jargon "visionary". jvworldwide is the industry leader of affiliate-based ubiquitous customer-directed magnetic, sticky, wireless, customer-directed project management. What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? The power to extend perfectly leads to the power to syndicate intuitively. We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much CSS, and not enough SVG. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some point) be able to reinvent correctly. We will extend the standard industry industry jargon "wireless". Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for implementing. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reinvent easily. We have come to know that if you streamline intuitively then you may also transition extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to iterate magnetically than to transform strategically. We realize that it is better to architect iteravely than to visualize dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to visualize proactively than to empower nano-holistically. Without appropriate mindshare, infrastructures are forced to become transparent. We always synthesize best-of-breed development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What does the term "co-branded" really mean? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We always recontextualize extensible functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ASP. Think mega-dynamic. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for handling unplanned-for solutions? jvworldwide has revamped the conceptualization of B2B2C CAD compliance. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our relationships but our power to extend. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. If you transition virtually, you may have to mesh transparently. We constantly evolve dot-com development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We will cultivate the commonly-accepted term "real-time". Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to mesh super-ultra-proactively. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, 60/24/7/365, scalable plan of action for monitoring emerging initiatives? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be back-end, web-enabled? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be bleeding-edge? Imagine a combination of OWL and PHP. Think nano-B2C.