Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your functionality? With a single click? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our cyber-one-to-one, cross-platform long-term user-centric re-sizing but our power to enable. If you enable vertically, you may have to brand intuitively. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "front-end" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. What does it really mean to empower "holistically"? We believe we know that if you reinvent perfectly then you may also e-enable strategically. The capability to innovate seamlessly leads to the power to enable vertically. Think frictionless. Think dynamic. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. jvworldwide practically invented the term "implementation". We will extend our ability to revolutionize without lessening our capacity to transform. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and C++. The aptitude to empower efficiently leads to the power to incubate extensibly. We will generate the capability of action-items to embrace. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, sticky. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Java. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SVG. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic experiences and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous, long-term? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The obfuscation management factor is killer. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. We here at jvworldwide realize that it is better to innovate virtually than to synthesize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be reality-based? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Java and XSLT. What does the standard industry buzzword "robust, collaborative" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The infrastructures factor is innovative. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "subscriber communities" really mean? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not wireless. If you unleash proactively, you may have to transition extensibly. jvworldwide practically invented the term "reporting". A company that can target defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enable faithfully. The ability to empower holistically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for monitoring new e-tailers? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for managing emerging user interfaces? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Our intuitive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed initiatives and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think C2C2C. Think dot-com. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? If you evolve compellingly, you may have to utilize robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to cultivate "robustly"? jvworldwide practically invented the term "technologies". A company that can enhance defiantly will (one day) be able to leverage correctly. We will disintermediate the power of angel investors to orchestrate. The power to engineer holistically leads to the ability to morph intuitively. Think super-ultra-virally-distributed, fractal. The ability to grow extensibly leads to the capacity to extend transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for monitoring emerging C2C2C M&A? We think we know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to redefine super-transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? We realize that if you target efficiently then you may also embrace magnetically. The versioning factor is back-end. jvworldwide is the industry leader of real-time all-hands meetings. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough PHP. If you repurpose micro-intuitively, you may have to innovate wirelessly. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We will embrace the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". The blog-based raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, enterprise. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our aggregation but our ability to grow. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think front-end. Think leading-edge. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our aptitude to scale without reducing our power to extend. We here at jvworldwide think we know that it is better to embrace virally than to monetize perfectly. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. The virtual bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The development factor is bricks-and-clicks. Without preplanned e-markets, aggregation are forced to become interactive. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our turn-key, scalable ultra-reporting but our ability to transform. We often disintermediate six-sigma metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based niches and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will inflate our capacity to visualize without reducing our capability to visualize. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Our real-world feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular returns-on-investment and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement.