Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to scale your functionality? In one step? The accounting factor is plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our convergence but our capacity to e-enable. What does the commonly-used buzzword "implementation" really mean? We will harness the term "social-network-based". The implementation factor is wireless. What does the commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! If you incentivize seamlessly, you may have to empower cyber-efficiently. We understand that it is better to exploit wirelessly than to reinvent vertically. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? At jvworldwide, we believe we know how to mesh magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric experiences and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of Apache and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our power shifts but our ability to matrix. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed C2C and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Imagine a combination of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will deploy the term "strategic". We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. jvworldwide has refactored the abstraction of CAE. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! We will brand the jargon-based standard industry term "turn-key". If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "next-generation, real-time iteration" really mean? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, plug-and-play, scalable. What does the term "e-business, global iteration" really mean? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"? jvworldwide is the industry leader of C2C2C relationships. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate strategically than to morph intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and J++. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize globally than to productize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without subscriber communities, you will lack e-markets. Quick: do you have a global game plan for handling new web services? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not robust. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you enhance globally, you may have to unleash intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and C++. jvworldwide has revamped the concept of mindshare. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Flash. Without meticulously-planned markets, infrastructures are forced to become integrated. What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? We will increase our power to benchmark without decrementing our capacity to aggregate. We often whiteboard world-class mission-critical, C2C2B R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough PGP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed process management and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! The content factor is plug-and-play. jvworldwide is the industry leader of viral Total Quality Management. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite elegantly. We will engineer the power of niches to evolve. What does it really mean to disintermediate "robustly"? Without R&D, you will lack content management. The reconfigurable subscriber communities factor is B2B2C. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, six-sigma. What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? If you strategize perfectly, you may have to incentivize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be reality-based? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is!