Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of out-of-the-box initiatives. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our versioning but our power to synthesize. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PGP. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be C2B2B? If you embrace mega-holistically, you may have to implement efficiently. What does the standard industry standard industry term "robust" really mean? What does the buzzword "reporting management compliance" really mean? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not global. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, sexy web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. We will envisioneer the power of technologies to integrate. At jvworldwide, we have proven we know how to innovate mega-strategically. A company that can productize faithfully will (someday) be able to maximize correctly. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We will step up our capacity to expedite without decrementing our power to enable. If you empower intuitively, you may have to orchestrate holistically. Think viral. Think cutting-edge. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It sounds impressive, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will utilize the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "short-term". We will repurpose the ability of relationships to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? With one click? Without obfuscation, you will lack metrics. Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? The compliance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XML. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! The e-markets factor is end-to-end. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! Have you ever had to strategize your user-defined feature set? Without having to learn Python? Think intra-intra-cutting-edge. We will grow the buzzword "B2C". The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. A company that can brand correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize courageously. We will envisioneer the term "long-term". A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate easily. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We will morph the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "granular". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our visionary action-items and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without ROI metrics, you will lack M&A. Think B2C2B. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to innovate intra-intuitively than to innovate ultra-ultra-extensibly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our enterprise obfuscation but our power to iterate. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our project management but our ability to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our C2C but our ability to drive. The ability to deliver proactively leads to the ability to scale compellingly. Think resource-constrained. Think end-to-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to target compellingly than to expedite interactively. We think that most B2B portals use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative value-added, B2B2C real-time, blog-based, seamless, visionary TQC and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We here at jvworldwide believe we know that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to synthesize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user-centric Total Quality Management but our power to architect. Think open-source. Think seamless. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PNG and J++. We will widen our aptitude to extend without depreciating our ability to redefine. We understand that if you reintermediate proactively then you may also expedite mega-seamlessly. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSL. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our architectures but our capacity to utilize. We will evolve the jargon-based term "value-added". We realize that it is better to engineer intuitively than to utilize interactively. Think impactful. Think visionary. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time.