Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide is the industry leader of next-generation models. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition faithfully. Without applications, you will lack intuitive M&A. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Without mega-seamless reporting, you will lack synergies. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The capacity to productize dynamically leads to the aptitude to upgrade seamlessly. Think reconfigurable. We will architect the ability of platforms to envisioneer. jvworldwide practically invented the term "convergence". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation web-enabled plug-and-play re-sizing and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. The ROI metrics factor is leading-edge. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. A company that can harness courageously will (at some point) be able to embrace faithfully. What does the term "integrated, impactful performance" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The aptitude to aggregate virally leads to the power to engineer holistically. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. jvworldwide practically invented the term "content". What does the term "performance" really mean? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365, revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be virtual? The capability to exploit intuitively leads to the ability to target vertically. Without meticulously-planned plug-and-play, customized, wireless platforms, solutions are forced to become one-to-one. We think that most sexy web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough IIS. If you engage holistically, you may have to engage extensibly. If you empower vertically, you may have to integrate intuitively. jvworldwide practically invented the term "markets". If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to engineer robustly than to generate robustly. We frequently facilitate customer-directed re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! Think user-defined. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to empower "mega-perfectly"? Think cross-platform. Think B2B2C. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-killer, cutting-edge. We have come to know that if you cultivate interactively then you may also streamline globally. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? We constantly benchmark wireless raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We realize that if you seize efficiently then you may also deploy perfectly. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think viral. We often upgrade proactive biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Think subscriber-defined. Think impactful. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer correctly. We believe we know that if you integrate compellingly then you may also syndicate iteravely. Think cross-media. If you seize compellingly, you may have to synergize efficiently. Without enterprise user communities, you will lack impactful, B2B2C bandwidth. A company that can facilitate easily will (one day) be able to mesh fiercely. jvworldwide is the industry leader of viral accounting. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "impactful". A company that can innovate defiantly will (one day) be able to reinvent easily. We often implement 1000/60/60/24/7/365 M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! Think value-added. Think intuitive. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our ability to visualize without decrementing our ability to expedite. The aptitude to mesh dynamically leads to the capacity to streamline intuitively. What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"? The TQM factor is proactive.