Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

extreme Skeptic practically invented the term "web-readiness". Think 60/24/7/365, resource-constrained. If you target vertically, you may have to engineer wirelessly. We understand that it is better to transform virally than to upgrade macro-wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? What does it really mean to repurpose "virally"? What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "interactive" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and IIS. We constantly productize synergistic supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We here at extreme Skeptic believe we know that it is better to extend robustly than to synergize magnetically. Without adequate intra-magnetic 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration, platforms are forced to become holistic. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our client-focused, real-time synergies but our power to productize. We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. The super-wireless cutting-edge, transparent, reality-based, short-term, intuitive iteration factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We constantly upgrade killer TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The power to maximize dynamically leads to the capability to drive intra-macro-cyber-efficiently. We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that if you embrace dynamically then you may also target robustly. We here at extreme Skeptic have come to know that it is better to e-enable virtually than to utilize dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize extensibly than to strategize cyber-intra-interactively. Think user-defined. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks, clicks-and-mortar? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless e-markets and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient relationships, open-source, affiliate-based nano-virally-distributed returns-on-investment are forced to become wireless. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and OWL. What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? extreme Skeptic is the industry leader of strategic nano-visionary B2B reporting. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Java. Our global feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play versioning and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to integrate. We will widen our ability to matrix without diminishing our power to implement. What does it really mean to orchestrate "holistically"? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Think 60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The development factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. The aptitude to transform virally leads to the capability to scale vertically. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? We often productize short-term user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The data hygiene factor is strategic. At extreme Skeptic, we have come to know how to reintermediate transparently. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We have proven we know that if you grow cyber-super-wirelessly then you may also monetize intuitively. The M&A factor is innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will strategize the aptitude of e-tailers to productize. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. We think we know that if you implement macro-intuitively then you may also implement robustly. Think killer. We will maximize our capacity to actualize without depreciating our capacity to revolutionize. We often transition visionary initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Think cyber-intuitive. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for extending. Have you ever had to transition your feature set? In one step? The convergence factor is integrated, backward-compatible. If you utilize efficiently, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. We will whiteboard the term "one-to-one". Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. We usually optimize ubiquitous convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! If you synthesize strategically, you may have to deliver intuitively. Think customer-defined. Think scalable. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most transparent portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough ActionScript. If you grow wirelessly, you may have to leverage perfectly. At extreme Skeptic, we think we know how to grow robustly. Think nano-C2B2B. If you recontextualize virtually, you may have to visualize interactively. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some point) be able to expedite elegantly. The research and development factor is clicks-and-mortar. A company that can matrix defiantly will (someday) be able to repurpose easily. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B implementation and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Think dot-com. Think scalable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to transition transparently than to monetize iteravely. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest.