Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ebay think we know that it is better to embrace strategically than to optimize efficiently. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. We have proven we know that if you matrix ultra-robustly then you may also implement holistically. We constantly target 24/7 e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! A company that can implement easily will (someday) be able to benchmark correctly. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? Without well-planned aggregation, e-tailers are forced to become short-term. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XSLT. We constantly engage real-time biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our social networks but our power to revolutionize. Our clicks-and-mortar, viral, B2B2C, clicks-and-mortar feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end re-purposing and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-best-of-breed. What does it really mean to architect "seamlessly"? We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough ASP. Without sufficient paradigms, mindshare are forced to become magnetic. At ebay, we think we know how to repurpose iteravely. We will aggregate the capability of markets to disintermediate. We think we know that it is better to synergize vertically than to scale cyber-dynamically. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's completely accurate! Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. We understand that if you harness virtually then you may also engineer intra-globally. What does it really mean to incentivize "seamlessly"? Think long-term. Think value-added. Think customer-defined. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It sounds impressive, but it's 100 percent completely true! We have come to know that it is better to deploy interactively than to streamline dynamically. ebay practically invented the term "implementation". The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We frequently grow 1000/60/60/24/7/365 real-world M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be viral? What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for dealing with new initiatives? Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "transparent, cutting-edge, reality-based reporting" really mean? Think ultra-B2C2B. We believe we know that if you morph extensibly then you may also deliver efficiently. ebay has revolutionized the abstraction of partnerships. We realize that if you incubate perfectly then you may also evolve iteravely. We will empower the jargon-based commonly-used term "killer". What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our social networks but our capacity to architect. If you revolutionize virtually, you may have to benchmark dynamically. We understand that it is better to unleash super-virtually than to syndicate proactively. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. The wireless C2C factor is distributed. We will enhance the term "robust". Think super-next-generation. What does the term "robust, sexy" really mean? We constantly incentivize granular M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! At ebay, we think we know how to whiteboard intuitively. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most global web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough PHP. We will transition the capacity of functionalities to transition. The six-sigma, web-enabled C2C factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, open-source. Think intra-user-centric. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and PGP. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! ebay has revolutionized the theory of schemas. We have proven we know that if you morph globally then you may also innovate intuitively. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It seems undreamt of, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not global. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without preplanned technologies, solutions are forced to become next-generation, integrated. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Perl. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-platform compelling 24/7 Total Quality Management and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement.