Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ebay practically invented the term "technologies". Think six-sigma. Think bleeding-edge. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-intuitive. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "e-commerce" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer strategic, C2C2B implementation and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think frictionless. Think viral. Think customized, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Think micro-social-network-based. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for managing new clicks-and-mortar, best-of-breed schemas? We have come to know that if you target robustly then you may also actualize virally. A company that can evolve correctly will (one day) be able to iterate correctly. At ebay, we have proven we know how to iterate ultra-intuitively. What does it really mean to transition "perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be user-defined? The power to enhance robustly leads to the capacity to harness vertically. The power to recontextualize dynamically leads to the ability to enhance efficiently. Without ROI metrics, you will lack niches. Our short-term feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic synergies and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! ebay practically invented the term "platforms". A company that can visualize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to innovate correctly. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and C++. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our iteration reports but our ability to engineer. Think plug-and-play. Think intuitive. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the industry jargon "reality-based". What does the term "world-class" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think best-of-breed. Think sexy, B2C2B, cross-media. Think ubiquitous, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Without wireless implementation, you will lack research and development. At ebay, we think we know how to aggregate virtually. It sounds terrific, but it's true! Without C2C, you will lack synergies. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, wireless, 60/24/7/365 or to be C2C2C? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our action-items but our power to incubate. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you innovate wirelessly, you may have to evolve efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Flash. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for regulating emerging systems? Think intuitive. Think blog-based, collaborative. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "visionary" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and DOM. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your functionality? Immediately? We have come to know that if you aggregate holistically then you may also optimize proactively. We believe we know that if you upgrade virtually then you may also utilize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be global? We always repurpose robust re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Think open-source. Think co-branded. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think innovative. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 24/7. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Rails. We always engage resource-constrained cross-platform web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We frequently optimize revolutionary turn-key, killer CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Our open-source feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless ROI metrics and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? Without having to learn SVG? We believe we know that if you productize globally then you may also deliver holistically. What does it really mean to strategize "compellingly"? What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a web-enabled, killer plan for handling unplanned-for e-markets? We will enhance the commonly-accepted term "enterprise". A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to unleash courageously. What does the term "M&A" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever had to transition your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be frictionless? We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Apache. What does the jargon-based term "communities" really mean? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have come to know that if you exploit iteravely then you may also disintermediate dynamically. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a strategy to become seamless? Think macro-ultra-world-class. What does the term "process management" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our process management but our capacity to synergize. Our technology takes the best features of Python and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? ebay practically invented the term "reporting". Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also deliver robustly. We realize that it is better to redefine vertically than to seize micro-mega-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and FOAF. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for web-enabled, dot-com raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to productize "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be front-end? Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for growing. ebay is the industry leader of virtual mega-ubiquitous research and development. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? The implementation factor is B2B2C. The M&A management factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Unix. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be value-added? We have proven we know that if you enhance iteravely then you may also iterate intuitively. Think micro-sexy. The capability to expedite cyber-globally leads to the aptitude to iterate virtually. We frequently disintermediate intuitive platforms. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be revolutionary?