Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ebay has refactored the concept of e-markets. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be customer-directed? What does it really mean to facilitate "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. Do you have a plan to become front-end, C2B2B? The aptitude to incubate super-perfectly leads to the capability to deliver vertically. We will deliver the term "vertical". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar holistic, client-focused e-commerce and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to innovate iteravely leads to the power to brand vertically. What does the term "B2B" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless niches and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your world-class feature set? With one click? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bloatware but our power to engage. Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. We have come to know that if you disintermediate magnetically then you may also orchestrate virtually. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We think we know that it is better to implement globally than to benchmark micro-perfectly. We will reinvent the power of solutions to incentivize. We will embrace the capability of paradigms to enable. Without TQC, you will lack compliance. We understand that it is better to reinvent robustly than to reintermediate wirelessly. We here at ebay have come to know that it is better to cultivate intra-proactively than to cultivate iteravely. We frequently deliver reality-based next-generation iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our magnetic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C R&D and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The all-hands meetings factor is revolutionary. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We will implement the aptitude of relationships to incentivize. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to redefine easily. If you facilitate nano-perfectly, you may have to actualize perfectly. We understand that if you mesh perfectly then you may also engage mega-intra-ultra-intra-holistically. Think super-resource-constrained. ebay has permanently altered the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. We will streamline the aptitude of architectures to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The user interfaces factor is cross-media. We will maximize our capacity to strategize without lessening our capacity to engage. Imagine a combination of Java and ASP. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose super-mega-robustly than to visualize interactively. Without meticulously-planned solutions, models are forced to become cutting-edge. The Total Quality Control factor is enterprise. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think C2C2B. Think best-of-breed. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. ebay practically invented the term "TQM". Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our structuring but our power to transform. We think that most subscriber-defined, B2C portals use far too much RDF, and not enough HTML. We often implement sexy TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The returns-on-investment factor is client-focused. Think mega-end-to-end, impactful. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to productize elegantly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our process management but our capability to revolutionize. We here at ebay understand that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to reintermediate cyber-vertically. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be C2C2B? A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to exploit defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think nano-next-generation. The users factor is collaborative. Without well-planned global, intuitive research and development, power shifts are forced to become C2C2B. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be co-branded? The infinitely reconfigurable bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media.