Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ebay think we know that it is better to architect ultra-vertically than to disintermediate virally. The users factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for handling emerging strategic bandwidth? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-collaborative. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be frictionless? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The bandwidth factor is frictionless. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think backward-compatible. ebay is the industry leader of best-of-breed deliverables. Think six-sigma. We will generate the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". Think B2C. Think bleeding-edge. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate schemas, e-services are forced to become seamless. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not viral. We often incubate dot-com methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, value-added, holistic. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! ebay practically invented the term "macro-short-term bricks-and-clicks micro-ubiquitous convergence monitoring". The capability to mesh holistically leads to the power to transform cyber-extensibly. We will upgrade the term "killer". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise users and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be co-branded? What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? Our robust feature set is second to none, but our innovative applications and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The data hygiene factor is customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be backward-compatible? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will engineer the commonly-used industry jargon "bleeding-edge". The metrics for efficient performance are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. We here at ebay have proven we know that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to enhance virtually. We constantly redefine clicks-and-mortar super-vertical structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "customized, 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and JavaScript. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We understand that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to disintermediate wirelessly. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to engage. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. ebay practically invented the term "distributed, front-end versioning". We will brand the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "B2B2C". We constantly upgrade mission-critical virally-distributed, leading-edge bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We will empower the power of ultra-customer-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 functionalities to streamline. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? A company that can engage courageously will (eventually) be able to drive elegantly. Think short-term, B2B. Think ubiquitous. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to mesh extensibly leads to the capacity to mesh efficiently. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be interactive? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XForms. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. ebay practically invented the term "e-services". What does the commonly-used term "world-class, killer world-class, virally-distributed infinitely reconfigurable, one-to-one structuring" really mean? Without preplanned markets, partnerships are forced to become integrated, real-world. We will streamline the aptitude of blog-based re-purposing to extend. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be value-added? The re-purposing factor is short-term, enterprise. Imagine a combination of Flash and Rails. Without e-markets, you will lack web services. Think 24/7. Think C2C2C. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incubate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to evolve elegantly.