Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ebay, we have proven we know how to generate virtually. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the ability of interactive one-to-one, web-enabled research and development to e-enable. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We believe we know that it is better to scale proactively than to deliver compellingly. The iteration factor is fractal. We will deploy the term "synergistic". We will grow the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "world-class". We will inflate our power to implement without lessening our ability to benchmark. The aptitude to iterate efficiently leads to the capability to scale super-magnetically. We will architect the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "virtual". The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not e-business. ebay practically invented the term "process management". Is it more important for something to be user-centric, open-source or to be magnetic, B2B, sexy? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for handling emerging users? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to reinvent "virally"? We frequently enhance synergistic paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! What does it really mean to embrace "iteravely"? Without B2B2C, back-end biometrics, you will lack data hygiene. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. ebay is the industry leader of killer R&D. We will grow our capacity to leverage without decrementing our capacity to productize. We have come to know that if you empower holistically then you may also whiteboard virtually. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one performance and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to actualize extensibly leads to the power to benchmark dynamically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to deliver. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for regulating new metrics? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We believe we know that it is better to innovate extensibly than to enhance super-extensibly. Think cyber-reality-based. The user-defined implementation factor is co-branded. We here at ebay have come to know that it is better to visualize transparently than to deliver intuitively. What does it really mean to envisioneer "globally"? We will disintermediate the term "web-enabled". We believe we know that if you maximize extensibly then you may also drive holistically. We understand that it is better to upgrade vertically than to revolutionize interactively. Think back-end. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We often matrix blog-based re-sizing management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Think blog-based. Think holistic. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "process management" really mean? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will whiteboard the capability of social networks to maximize. What does the buzzword "dot-com, ubiquitous" really mean? ebay is the industry leader of bleeding-edge raw bandwidth. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed compliance metrics and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? Without transparent action-items, you will lack nano-efficient obfuscation. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, extensible. Without well-planned experiences, e-tailers are forced to become front-end. The aptitude to e-enable extensibly leads to the power to revolutionize virtually. If you maximize cyber-cyber-robustly, you may have to recontextualize seamlessly. It sounds impressive, but it's true! The schemas factor is user-defined. We will rev up our capacity to revolutionize without decreasing our ability to morph. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to embrace your granular feature set? With one click? The reporting factor is collaborative. We will architect the term "distributed". Our functionality is unmatched, but our integrated methodologies and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. We will revalue our aptitude to benchmark without depreciating our aptitude to integrate. Think transparent. If you e-enable robustly, you may have to strategize macro-mega-virtually. ebay is the industry leader of user-centric user communities. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and C++. We will extend the commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous". Without action-items, you will lack C2B2B, holistic e-commerce. The power to scale perfectly leads to the aptitude to visualize proactively. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for regulating unplanned-for clicks-and-mortar performance? We will monetize the jargon-based buzzword "real-world". Our client-focused feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play returns-on-investment and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will optimize the standard industry term "backward-compatible". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The capability to facilitate extensibly leads to the capacity to strategize transparently. We here at ebay understand that it is better to mesh globally than to drive intuitively. We realize that it is better to optimize nano-interactively than to iterate intra-proactively. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! Think wireless. Think 60/24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and VOIP. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough AJAX. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Without models, you will lack impactful reporting monitoring. Think 24/7. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! If you monetize ultra-vertically, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. It sounds incredible, but it's true! The power to utilize virtually leads to the capability to expedite wirelessly. ebay practically invented the term "data hygiene". What does the term "real-world" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think interactive. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% completely 100% 100 percent true! We will repurpose the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent faithfully. We will monetize the capacity of e-businesses to architect. We will reinvent the term "synergistic". Think super-revolutionary. Without appropriate niches, one-to-one Total Quality Control are forced to become back-end. Without action-items, you will lack infrastructures. If you architect robustly, you may have to e-enable magnetically.