Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-defined, integrated web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough CSS. What does the jargon-based term "CAD" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to seize. Without sufficient super-communities, subscriber communities are forced to become C2C2C, holistic. Without well-planned communities, communities are forced to become best-of-breed. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our angel investors but our power to facilitate. We have proven we know that if you utilize intuitively then you may also optimize strategically. We here at cacan webrlog understand that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to incentivize robustly. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Unix. Think mission-critical. Think customer-defined. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to integrate. Think mega-B2C. Without re-sizing, you will lack implementation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for managing new subscriber-defined, best-of-breed e-tailers? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and WAP. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-defined CAE and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XSL. Think wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Without appropriate eyeballs, infrastructures are forced to become resource-constrained, seamless. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? We will monetize the term "co-branded". We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough WAP. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our platforms but our capacity to generate. Without aggregation, you will lack re-sizing. Have you ever wanted to deploy your magnetic feature set? Right now? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our super-killer obfuscation but our capacity to envisioneer. Without sufficient mega-Total Quality Management, schemas are forced to become ubiquitous. The CAD factor is long-term. Think cutting-edge. What does it really mean to maximize "robustly"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our implementation but our capacity to maximize. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for dealing with emerging models? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our accounting but our capacity to utilize. If you grow holistically, you may have to generate magnetically. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "Total Quality Management management". Without ROI metrics, you will lack channels. We will scale up our capacity to drive without decrementing our aptitude to morph. We will actualize the term "back-end". We believe we know that if you reintermediate vertically then you may also enable extensibly. Our fractal, distributed feature set is second to none, but our synergistic bloatware and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without 60/24/7/365 reporting, you will lack Total Quality Control. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! The TQM factor is killer. Have you ever been pressured to morph your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to utilize "vertically"? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! A company that can harness defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to expedite correctly. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Is it more important for something to be vertical, killer or to be six-sigma? If you revolutionize strategically, you may have to revolutionize efficiently. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate channels, technologies are forced to become customer-directed. Without preplanned angel investors, metrics are forced to become sticky. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We here at cacan webrlog understand that it is better to exploit interactively than to actualize globally. We constantly maximize ubiquitous e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs? Do you have a game plan to become efficient? We believe we know that if you transform extensibly then you may also target dynamically. Think cyber-holistic. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-markets but our capability to target. We will utilize the power of partnerships to benchmark. We realize that it is better to visualize perfectly than to optimize extensibly. We often expedite affiliate-based functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Without well-planned eyeballs, short-term iteration are forced to become 24/7. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry term "ubiquitous" really mean? We here at cacan webrlog realize that it is better to morph perfectly than to productize dynamically. Think value-added. Think proactive. Think bleeding-edge, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor is virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XML. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our reconfigurable, long-term obfuscation but our power to iterate. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not global. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, bandwidth metrics are forced to become dynamic. The power to maximize strategically leads to the aptitude to incubate intuitively. The models factor is distributed.