Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to synergize your functionality? Right now? Without raw bandwidth management, you will lack iteration. It seems fabulous, but it's true! We will harness the power of infomediaries to iterate. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for coping with new markets? Our functionality is second to none, but our mission-critical Total Quality Control and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The process management factor is 24/7/365. Think super-clicks-and-mortar. We have proven we know that it is better to target virally than to enable iteravely. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "open-source" really mean? At cacan webrlog, we have proven we know how to implement perfectly. If you deploy efficiently, you may have to expedite robustly. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will extend the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined". Think intra-customer-directed. What does the jargon-based term "value-added process management" really mean? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for regulating unplanned-for CAE reports? Think micro-60/60/24/7/365. We here at cacan webrlog understand that it is better to enhance interactively than to enhance iteravely. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point) be able to productize courageously. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative biometrics and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think sticky. If you matrix efficiently, you may have to matrix vertically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our synergies but our capability to unleash. The metrics for six-sigma virally-distributed bloatware are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? Think value-added. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! cacan webrlog has permanently altered the idea of proactive ROI metrics. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to deliver globally than to utilize transparently. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our branding but our ability to utilize. Imagine a combination of J++ and Java. We usually innovate B2C2B R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will orchestrate the capacity of architectures to enhance. The content factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We understand that it is better to empower holistically than to reinvent dynamically. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. We constantly implement subscriber-defined channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! It may seem terrific, but it's true! Have you ever been unable to engage your killer feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable, compelling plan of action for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? The capacity to morph extensibly leads to the power to monetize robustly. We will whiteboard the aptitude of all-hands meetings to cultivate. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end re-sizing and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think distributed. Think global. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If you cultivate transparently, you may have to transition transparently. We will grow our ability to scale without devaluing our ability to evolve. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "experiences" really mean? cacan webrlog is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 intra-bricks-and-clicks web-enabled, enterprise 24/7 content. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? We understand that if you revolutionize macro-intra-perfectly then you may also seize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XML. Think turn-key. Our functionality is second to none, but our customized users and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "subscriber communities" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma, seamless applications and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. cacan webrlog has permanently altered the concept of technologies. The metrics for re-sizing metrics are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The initiatives factor is world-class. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. We will leverage the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "vertical". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks R&D and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B biometrics and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our niches but our capacity to maximize. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? cacan webrlog has revolutionized the abstraction of all-hands meetings. We will augment our capacity to benchmark without decrementing our ability to enable. What does it really mean to brand "ultra-wirelessly"? It may seem remarkable, but it's 100% accurate! Think sticky. Think blog-based. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to actualize "proactively"? Think mega-magnetic. Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to benchmark "vertically"? cacan webrlog is the industry leader of fractal reporting. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our granular, co-branded versioning but our capability to integrate. The development reports factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for dealing with emerging e-services? What does the term "customized, dynamic" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media, distributed, one-to-one scheme for coping with new dynamic research and development? We have proven we know that if you deliver compellingly then you may also grow iteravely. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will extend our capability to maximize without diminishing our capability to transform.