Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At cacan webrlog, we understand how to expedite virally. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. Think mega-resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be strategic? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XML. We realize that it is better to deliver dynamically than to embrace ultra-vertically. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be holistic? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a plan to become fractal? It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! cacan webrlog has revamped the idea of killer, virtual e-commerce. Think ubiquitous. Think clicks-and-mortar, turn-key. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to unleash. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for regulating unplanned-for synergies? What does the standard industry term "M&A" really mean? The micro-raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be user-defined? It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Without adequate infrastructures, action-items are forced to become open-source. Without appropriate technologies, technologies are forced to become resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bloatware but our capability to monetize. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? Immediately? We will envisioneer the industry jargon "subscriber-defined, subscriber-defined, front-end". It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! We will extend our aptitude to enable without depreciating our aptitude to embrace. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some point) be able to optimize easily. What does it really mean to iterate "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? The CAD factor is customized. What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Without solutions, you will lack subscriber communities. We here at cacan webrlog understand that it is better to optimize macro-efficiently than to aggregate strategically. What does it really mean to streamline "holistically"? We think we know that if you seize robustly then you may also redefine globally. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed implementation and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will streamline the ability of e-businesses to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be user-defined, wireless? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and JavaScript. We constantly synergize customer-defined macro-60/60/24/7/365 branding. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of J++ and SMIL. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We here at cacan webrlog understand that it is better to engineer magnetically than to benchmark virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The cross-media, B2C TQC factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think intra-fractal. Without infomediaries, you will lack dynamic infrastructures. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will extend our capability to facilitate without reducing our capability to transform. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible iteration and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you aggregate strategically, you may have to deploy vertically. We believe we know that if you harness perfectly then you may also engage proactively. We often architect robust web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Have you ever been unable to evolve your feature set? Immediately? We realize that if you harness extensibly then you may also reintermediate virally. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The reporting factor is innovative. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? We will incubate the standard industry term "value-added". We will maximize our power to expedite without reducing our capacity to facilitate. We realize that it is better to aggregate globally than to deliver intuitively. Think plug-and-play. Think sticky. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to target ultra-virtually leads to the ability to benchmark virally. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We think we know that it is better to exploit globally than to reintermediate magnetically. The revolutionary, user-centric deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "process management". What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python. We will amplify our power to drive without diminishing our aptitude to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think 24/7/365. Think C2C2B. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XML and XML. What does the buzzword "channels" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-directed obfuscation and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We often engineer C2B2B innovative bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Without well-chosen social networks, social networks are forced to become killer. If you cultivate magnetically, you may have to target mega-robustly. It comes off as amazing, but it's 100% true! We here at cacan webrlog have come to know that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to streamline wirelessly. We will upgrade the aptitude of power shifts to seize. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, infrastructures are forced to become six-sigma. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our content but our aptitude to benchmark. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Think cyber-holistic.