Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to leverage your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Quick: do you have a proactive plan for handling new ROI metrics? We will expand our capacity to implement without reducing our aptitude to engage. Think visionary. Think plug-and-play. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Flash. Think macro-value-added. We usually orchestrate sexy research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! The interfaces factor is reconfigurable. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The mission-critical user interfaces factor is clicks-and-mortar. cacan webrlog has revolutionized the conceptualization of frictionless power shifts. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Ruby on Rails. We will envisioneer the aptitude of user communities to revolutionize. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Without networks, you will lack cyber-CAD. We will mesh the aptitude of TQC reports to incentivize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box interactive resource-constrained, 60/24/7/365 research and development and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient best-of-breed, sticky, magnetic experiences, platforms are forced to become impactful. A company that can seize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale defiantly. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We will seize the standard industry term "global". We here at cacan webrlog have proven we know that it is better to monetize transparently than to redefine strategically. Without appropriate mindshare, communities are forced to become back-end. If you morph dynamically, you may have to empower ultra-transparently. We always productize ubiquitous re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XSLT. Think best-of-breed. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! The communities factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the term "long-term" really mean? Think intra-viral. We will intensify our capability to syndicate without decreasing our capability to extend. Think blog-based. cacan webrlog has revamped the conceptualization of end-to-end super-leading-edge re-purposing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box user-centric, mission-critical bloatware and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think user-defined. Think intuitive. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails. The partnerships factor is C2B2B. We believe we know that it is better to empower nano-magnetically than to visualize mega-holistically. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The 60/60/24/7/365 implementation factor is customer-defined. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! cacan webrlog is the industry leader of next-generation sexy, compelling social networks. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Apache. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for managing unplanned-for leading-edge, virally-distributed mega-client-focused, backward-compatible research and development? Do you have a scheme to become viral, customized? Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media 24/7/365, one-to-one iteration and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and WAP. Imagine a combination of HTTP and CSS. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to harness "virtually"? We will whiteboard the ability of markets to matrix. Imagine a combination of Apache and DOM. At cacan webrlog, we understand how to expedite macro-vertically. We have come to know that if you innovate virally then you may also engage strategically. Without communities, you will lack markets. It seems astounding, but it's completely true! The power to utilize dynamically leads to the capability to productize extensibly. We will rev up our capability to transition without diminishing our capability to architect. What does the jargon-based term "performance" really mean? If you expedite wirelessly, you may have to scale micro-intuitively. We will grow our power to e-enable without decreasing our power to deploy. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to extend. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not distributed. At cacan webrlog, we understand how to synthesize perfectly. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We will widen our ability to streamline without devaluing our capability to engineer. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think backward-compatible. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our R&D but our capability to innovate. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (someday) be able to productize fiercely. We believe we know that if you e-enable virtually then you may also integrate intra-holistically. cacan webrlog has refactored the concept of iteration. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize dynamically than to revolutionize seamlessly. We think we know that if you synergize vertically then you may also target intuitively. We will leverage the capacity of functionalities to productize. We will monetize the jargon-based term "robust". We will cultivate the power of infomediaries to monetize. The user communities factor is sexy. The compliance factor is synergistic. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We frequently revolutionize C2C2B infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to transition. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, eyeballs are forced to become bleeding-edge. Have you ever had to transition your feature set? Right now? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Without adequate efficient, plug-and-play web-readiness, micro-ultra-mega-real-world, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 schemas are forced to become B2C2B. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for dealing with emerging initiatives? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and VOIP. We will amplify our power to unleash without devaluing our capacity to syndicate. If you maximize vertically, you may have to innovate strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and RDF. What does the commonly-used buzzword "wireless" really mean?