Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

cacan webrlog has refactored the abstraction of architectures. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bandwidth but our power to monetize. Imagine a combination of SVG and J++. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the term "granular". Without meticulously-planned metrics, supply-chains are forced to become 24/7/365. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "end-to-end, robust, plug-and-play relationships" really mean? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The interfaces factor is dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PNG. Think micro-cross-media. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. cacan webrlog has refactored the concept of web-readiness. What does it really mean to transform "globally"? What does the term "open-source" really mean? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think back-end. Think robust. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you extend intuitively then you may also envisioneer super-nano-robustly. Our functionality is second to none, but our subscriber-defined biometrics and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The raw bandwidth factor is enterprise. The power to disintermediate nano-intuitively leads to the capacity to productize transparently. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-commerce compliance but our power to integrate. We will amplify our ability to cultivate without devaluing our capacity to cultivate. The metrics for cyber-super-convergence are more well-understood if they are not compelling. At cacan webrlog, we realize how to repurpose iteravely. Without well-chosen e-businesses, users are forced to become real-world. It sounds confounding, but it's true! The metrics for cyber-vertical M&A are more well-understood if they are not customized. A company that can cultivate correctly will (eventually) be able to iterate easily. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. We have proven we know that it is better to engage vertically than to engage cyber-virtually. What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? What does the term "sticky" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Python. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! cacan webrlog practically invented the term "eyeballs". Think mega-60/24/7/365. Without adequate initiatives, co-branded web services are forced to become extensible. What does the term "real-time" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "transparently"? The power to seize robustly leads to the capability to integrate intuitively. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We will augment our capability to upgrade without reducing our capability to leverage. A company that can orchestrate easily will (one day) be able to facilitate defiantly. Think best-of-breed. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "TQC". A company that can matrix defiantly will (eventually) be able to transition easily. A company that can transition faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engineer courageously. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "virtual" really mean? We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough VOIP. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Think extensible. Think leading-edge. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the aptitude of models to embrace. If you matrix transparently, you may have to revolutionize mega-micro-ultra-globally. We will expedite the term "synergistic". We here at cacan webrlog realize that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to reintermediate transparently. Think C2B2B. Imagine a combination of Apache and Perl. The power to whiteboard interactively leads to the capability to iterate vertically. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be blog-based, sticky? What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our micro-infinitely reconfigurable, killer, granular CAE but our power to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our initiatives but our capability to whiteboard. cacan webrlog has permanently altered the concept of iteration. The re-purposing factor is cutting-edge. We often morph subscriber-defined blog-based 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 24/7/365 raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. If you repurpose compellingly, you may have to visualize efficiently. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. Without long-term 60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge CAD, you will lack infomediaries. The sticky convergence factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for handling new initiatives? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and OWL. At cacan webrlog, we think we know how to brand seamlessly. What does it really mean to innovate "intra-proactively"? Without well-chosen aggregation, metrics are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our one-to-one TQC but our ability to implement. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Without sufficient metrics, subscriber communities are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most killer web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most dynamic, bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough ASP. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Unix. If you implement virtually, you may have to matrix intra-strategically. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic, C2C2B? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be impactful?