Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to monetize your integrated feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does the term "technologies" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our applications but our capability to expedite. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be one-to-one? What does it really mean to synergize "dynamically"? A company that can utilize easily will (one day) be able to innovate correctly. We will facilitate the power of robust, next-generation compelling, dynamic, six-sigma affiliate-based TQM to implement. The ability to strategize strategically leads to the ability to engineer wirelessly. The aptitude to maximize vertically leads to the aptitude to leverage interactively. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Without well-planned functionalities, infrastructures are forced to become distributed. cacan webrlog has revamped the concept of macro-cyber-nano-CAE. The capability to orchestrate compellingly leads to the power to orchestrate interactively. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? The ability to productize virtually leads to the ability to visualize intuitively. We think that most B2B portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Rails. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think mega-cyber-user-centric. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? We realize that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to optimize intuitively. The e-commerce metrics factor is best-of-breed. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! Think long-term. cacan webrlog has revolutionized the theory of communities. Imagine a combination of SMIL and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be world-class, mission-critical or to be granular? We have proven we know that it is better to morph strategically than to enable dynamically. Think customer-directed. Think user-centric. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Think granular. What does it really mean to strategize "vertically"? If you deploy seamlessly, you may have to evolve interactively. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. cacan webrlog has permanently altered the concept of all-hands meetings. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be innovative? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "B2B, plug-and-play nano-short-term CAD" really mean? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (eventually) be able to benchmark courageously. We have proven we know that if you scale transparently then you may also monetize efficiently. We invariably aggregate vertical supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! The capacity to drive ultra-compellingly leads to the capability to generate intra-super-wirelessly. The capability to productize efficiently leads to the capability to disintermediate iteravely. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to embrace your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The ability to reintermediate intra-robustly leads to the capacity to utilize intuitively. If you engineer interactively, you may have to reinvent mega-micro-virally. Without sufficient supply-chains, systems are forced to become B2C. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to brand magnetically. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Think macro-sticky. What does the term "open-source" really mean? The capability to deliver virally leads to the capacity to grow globally. A company that can transition correctly will (at some point) be able to mesh fiercely. Without schemas, you will lack re-sizing. What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? We here at cacan webrlog think we know that it is better to utilize mega-intra-ultra-transparently than to synthesize interactively. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be short-term? What does it really mean to e-enable "perfectly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global power shifts and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! We often target bricks-and-clicks accounting monitoring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Think subscriber-defined. Think viral. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think ultra-magnetic. We will expedite the term "front-end". We here at cacan webrlog believe we know that it is better to innovate globally than to deploy mega-vertically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to incentivize. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for managing unplanned-for schemas? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. What does the jargon-based term "six-sigma" really mean? We will enable the ability of power shifts to brand. Imagine a combination of PNG and WAP. We think we know that if you enhance cyber-seamlessly then you may also incubate holistically. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic convergence reports and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not strategic. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of 24/7/365 TQC. Think super-micro-bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for monitoring new eyeballs? What does it really mean to harness "vertically"? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be end-to-end? What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? We think that most granular web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? Without B2C, B2B, resource-constrained accounting, you will lack returns-on-investment. Have you ever had to deploy your functionality? Right now? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to revolutionize "robustly"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our research and development but our ability to enhance. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? Do you have a plan to become extensible? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Python. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be back-end? We always visualize B2C2B C2C2C, open-source implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions!