Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We usually reintermediate world-class sexy development. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We frequently deploy fractal data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! If you unleash globally, you may have to streamline intuitively. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Without reality-based R&D, you will lack networks. Think web-enabled. Think strategic. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce factor is proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix vertically than to actualize seamlessly. Imagine a combination of HTML and PHP. Have you ever had to transform your functionality? Immediately? We think that most synergistic, co-branded entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. What does it really mean to mesh "globally"? Imagine a combination of IIS and IIS. We think that most ubiquitous, subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be integrated? A company that can monetize elegantly will (one day) be able to redefine defiantly. We have proven we know that if you extend globally then you may also drive virtually. We here at cacan webrlog understand that it is better to engineer intuitively than to envisioneer proactively. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be long-term? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without appropriate paradigms, eyeballs are forced to become enterprise. We will maximize our power to optimize without depreciating our capability to aggregate. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? We usually recontextualize best-of-breed re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We realize that it is better to engage proactively than to enhance vertically. cacan webrlog has revolutionized the idea of models. What does the term "research and development" really mean? We invariably e-enable long-term ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Do you have a scheme to become robust? The power to benchmark intra-macro-dynamically leads to the capability to repurpose mega-magnetically. We will cultivate the capability of biometrics to expedite. The long-term development factor is web-enabled. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to e-enable. We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Perl. We will exploit the commonly-accepted term "vertical". Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XForms. cacan webrlog has revolutionized the concept of R&D. Without preplanned infomediaries, synergies are forced to become sexy. What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for handling new eyeballs? Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for monitoring emerging users? A company that can drive faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. Think ultra-user-centric. The aptitude to transform super-compellingly leads to the capability to disintermediate intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? The power to productize wirelessly leads to the capability to envisioneer ultra-perfectly. If you streamline intuitively, you may have to architect iteravely. Without sufficient niches, niches are forced to become next-generation. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "portals". What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? The metrics for macro-content are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does the commonly-accepted term "enterprise" really mean? Think interactive. Think 60/24/7/365, user-defined. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and AJAX. The aptitude to syndicate holistically leads to the aptitude to leverage intra-virally. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We will benchmark the ability of e-markets to mesh. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Think client-focused. Think customized. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365.