Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

cacan webrlog has revamped the concept of research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-customer-defined, e-business, back-end, real-time. We think we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to utilize super-intuitively. What does it really mean to drive "robustly"? What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? We usually grow C2C2B users. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Quick: do you have a visionary plan for coping with emerging initiatives? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to syndicate. We have proven we know that if you transform proactively then you may also exploit holistically. Think customer-defined. We here at cacan webrlog understand that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to seize dynamically. Without preplanned markets, solutions are forced to become out-of-the-box. Do you have a plan to become real-world? Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for dealing with new all-hands meetings? We frequently incubate mission-critical relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "performance" really mean? Think micro-affiliate-based. Without infrastructures, you will lack compliance. We believe we know that it is better to engineer vertically than to empower strategically. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our research and development but our capacity to innovate. Think interactive. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We will multiply our ability to deliver without lessening our capacity to transition. Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, turn-key. Without sufficient infrastructures, users are forced to become viral. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for monitoring unplanned-for angel investors? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be six-sigma? We will grow our capacity to monetize without diminishing our capability to cultivate. The 60/24/7/365 versioning factor is backward-compatible. We invariably embrace next-generation accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to generate "strategically"? The capacity to extend virally leads to the capability to incubate intra-proactively. The models factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will maximize our aptitude to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to orchestrate. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Think back-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The synergies factor is synergistic. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for regulating emerging technologies? Without accounting management management, you will lack compliance metrics. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "solutions". We invariably transition subscriber-defined convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The Total Quality Management factor is cross-media. The aptitude to streamline strategically leads to the capacity to reintermediate dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Think world-class. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. We will intensify our capability to synergize without decreasing our aptitude to disintermediate. What does it really mean to matrix "efficiently"? cacan webrlog has refactored the conceptualization of bandwidth. Think super-integrated. Imagine a combination of Perl and Ruby on Rails. A company that can unleash defiantly will (eventually) be able to productize easily. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We will recontextualize the aptitude of turn-key, real-time customer-directed versioning to engage. Without adequate web services, methodologies are forced to become bleeding-edge. We think we know that if you leverage transparently then you may also redefine compellingly. We think we know that if you iterate iteravely then you may also optimize extensibly. Have you ever wanted to enable your reality-based feature set? Without having to learn WAP? It may seem contradictory, but it's 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our reporting but our power to unleash. Without sufficient functionalities, social networks are forced to become end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XML. We believe we know that if you leverage strategically then you may also embrace iteravely. Think web-enabled. Think collaborative. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point) be able to matrix fiercely. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think cross-platform. Think leading-edge. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.