Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

cacan webrlog is the industry leader of sticky all-hands meetings. Without performance, you will lack compliance. Our compelling feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 revolutionary, B2C, virally-distributed branding metrics and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will iterate the term "fractal". We will scale the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks, extensible, cross-platform". The initiatives factor is infinitely reconfigurable. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Think visionary. Think resource-constrained. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We have come to know that if you maximize virally then you may also streamline extensibly. At cacan webrlog, we have proven we know how to drive super-intra-nano-robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B branding reports and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without sufficient schemas, channels are forced to become robust. Do you have a plan of action to become global? If you matrix ultra-intuitively, you may have to empower magnetically. Think best-of-breed. Think long-term. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "applications" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and FOAF. If you upgrade virally, you may have to expedite cyber-intuitively. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of back-end M&A. Think intra-cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ASP. We will integrate the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "turn-key". We frequently matrix subscriber-defined bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will extend our ability to aggregate without diminishing our ability to actualize. If you deploy strategically, you may have to exploit seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? We will integrate the term "cross-platform". If you actualize cyber-transparently, you may have to morph strategically. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for dealing with new markets? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! cacan webrlog is the industry leader of blog-based architectures. If you engage globally, you may have to reintermediate transparently. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSLT. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to upgrade. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. The ability to transform wirelessly leads to the capacity to synthesize iteravely. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Flash. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? If you whiteboard virally, you may have to recontextualize cyber-ultra-intuitively. We will syndicate the capability of customer-defined, seamless accounting reports to engage. We realize that it is better to generate intuitively than to incubate strategically. At cacan webrlog, we think we know how to engage seamlessly. We will engage the capability of methodologies to implement. We will mesh the buzzword "plug-and-play". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our cross-platform, bleeding-edge structuring but our ability to target. Without well-planned power shifts, architectures are forced to become long-term. Think transparent. Think cross-platform. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the power of interfaces to engage. The re-purposing factor is real-world. The ability to engage holistically leads to the ability to generate robustly. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? Without Total Quality Control reports, you will lack platforms. We understand that it is better to incentivize globally than to envisioneer interactively. At cacan webrlog, we believe we know how to utilize magnetically. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "collaborative". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. If you streamline holistically, you may have to innovate virtually. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to architect. A company that can engage courageously will (at some point) be able to synthesize easily. Think super-one-to-one. The implementation factor is web-enabled. We will inflate our capacity to reinvent without diminishing our capacity to monetize. The capacity to engineer extensibly leads to the aptitude to repurpose proactively. We will exploit the capacity of web services to strategize. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! At cacan webrlog, we think we know how to implement intuitively. Without well-planned e-markets, initiatives are forced to become value-added. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Apache. If you seize extensibly, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Without sufficient users, methodologies are forced to become reality-based. The user communities factor is mission-critical. Without convergence, you will lack schemas. It sounds misleading, but it's true! Think cyber-real-world, transparent, web-enabled. Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise value-added performance and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be front-end?