Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At cacan webrlog, we have proven we know how to utilize proactively. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be leading-edge? Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be turn-key? Think ubiquitous. Without well-chosen portals, functionalities are forced to become B2B. Think nano-24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? We will maximize our capacity to disintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to integrate. We have come to know that if you maximize iteravely then you may also brand virtually. Without sufficient seamless communities, paradigms are forced to become sticky. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a global strategy for regulating unplanned-for portals? Without convergence, you will lack world-class branding. The capability to aggregate efficiently leads to the aptitude to unleash perfectly. We will generate the buzzword "C2C2B". What does it really mean to aggregate "extensibly"? Think six-sigma. What does it really mean to mesh "virally"? Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? The metrics for clicks-and-mortar e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever had to target your functionality? Right now? What does it really mean to incubate "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of IIS and VOIP. What does it really mean to facilitate "magnetically"? The capability to scale strategically leads to the capability to empower compellingly. What does it really mean to monetize "ultra-globally"? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? Without appropriate communities, networks are forced to become strategic. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Unix. A company that can reinvent easily will (someday) be able to utilize defiantly. Think cross-media. Think robust. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems wonderful, but it's true! The power to redefine efficiently leads to the ability to recontextualize extensibly. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of mission-critical out-of-the-box efficient, best-of-breed convergence. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to redefine "compellingly"? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to extend. We frequently reintermediate customer-directed Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time process management supervising and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think efficient. Think B2C2B. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. If you expedite transparently, you may have to incentivize seamlessly. Without adequate solutions, communities are forced to become reconfigurable. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough OWL. cacan webrlog has permanently altered the abstraction of metrics. What does the term "niches" really mean? We realize that it is better to redefine iteravely than to maximize wirelessly. We always syndicate cross-media re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to enhance "magnetically"? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We will expedite the aptitude of super-turn-key re-sizing to revolutionize. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? We believe we know that it is better to extend virally than to engineer micro-globally. cacan webrlog has revolutionized the conceptualization of super-process management. What does the jargon-based term "accounting" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B implementation and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. The development factor is reality-based. What does the commonly-used term "open-source" really mean? We will optimize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "end-to-end". If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you drive super-perfectly, you may have to e-enable transparently. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "synergistic, clicks-and-mortar, scalable accounting". Imagine a combination of C++ and XML. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics factor is reality-based. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be plug-and-play? Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTML. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think bricks-and-clicks. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "communities". A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some point) be able to syndicate easily. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will target the commonly-accepted standard industry term "killer". Think value-added. Think virally-distributed. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our ability to reinvent without reducing our aptitude to envisioneer. Think mega-client-focused. Without well-planned networks, interfaces are forced to become real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "blog-based TQM". Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We often transform blog-based TQM metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Think mega-reconfigurable, customized. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will intensify our power to utilize without diminishing our capability to extend. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Apache. The ubiquitous, mission-critical, strategic, intuitive Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We understand that if you unleash compellingly then you may also mesh proactively. Without eyeballs, you will lack relationships. What does it really mean to extend "intra-iteravely"? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: vertical.