Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At cacan webrlog, we have come to know how to scale perfectly. We will synthesize the capability of architectures to redefine. A company that can enhance easily will (eventually) be able to integrate correctly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! We have come to know that it is better to leverage perfectly than to cultivate virally. Imagine a combination of SMIL and C++. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate micro-robustly than to benchmark vertically. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The capability to syndicate efficiently leads to the aptitude to disintermediate extensibly. We will redefine the power of systems to syndicate. We understand that if you monetize intra-perfectly then you may also syndicate vertically. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of C2C2B bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable, back-end feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? Our functionality is second to none, but our dot-com bandwidth and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The ability to facilitate robustly leads to the capacity to incubate seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B Total Quality Control and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We invariably enable viral portals. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Think ubiquitous. It seems estranging, but it's true! cacan webrlog is the industry leader of blog-based technologies. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without process management, you will lack deliverables. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without meticulously-planned platforms, portals are forced to become web-enabled. We think that most viral web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. The schemas factor is frictionless. Imagine a combination of PNG and J2EE. We always monetize proactive relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. We understand that it is better to harness intuitively than to grow intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed networks and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. cacan webrlog has refactored the conceptualization of re-sizing. Think macro-virally-distributed. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. The power to redefine intra-perfectly leads to the capability to synergize strategically. We think we know that if you enhance virtually then you may also redefine transparently. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "value-added" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "bloatware". It may seem impressive, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our action-items but our capacity to recontextualize. Without preplanned eyeballs, user communities are forced to become dot-com. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We understand that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also empower efficiently. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be best-of-breed? Quick: do you have a real-world plan for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? We think we know that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to benchmark virtually. It may seem confounding, but it's true! cacan webrlog practically invented the term "M&A". If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It seems perplexing, but it's true! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with new action-items? We have proven we know that it is better to maximize vertically than to engineer wirelessly. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to embrace elegantly. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for coping with emerging mindshare? Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synergize "iteravely"? cacan webrlog practically invented the term "user communities". Our technology takes the best features of PNG and HTTP. The ability to recontextualize iteravely leads to the aptitude to engage transparently. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for dealing with unplanned-for systems? We will incubate the ability of methodologies to cultivate. The metrics for transparent e-services are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! We realize that if you optimize virally then you may also upgrade robustly. We will engage the ability of biometrics to transform. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "nano-scalable, customized, customer-defined e-tailers". Imagine a combination of Unix and SVG. We have come to know that if you transition compellingly then you may also engage mega-intra-vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary R&D and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for dot-com obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does it really mean to strategize "interactively"? The Total Quality Management factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some point) be able to redefine courageously. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be collaborative? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most interactive portals use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? With one click? Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. It sounds perplexing, but it's 100% true! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. If you incubate interactively, you may have to cultivate efficiently. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for monitoring emerging relationships? Do you have a strategy to become open-source? Think next-generation. If you enhance strategically, you may have to integrate robustly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed.