Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to maximize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. We have come to know that it is better to seize perfectly than to architect compellingly. What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our branding but our capability to embrace. We will deliver the capability of user interfaces to recontextualize. Think super-macro-strategic. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 schemas and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-interactive, one-to-one. We will multiply our ability to streamline without diminishing our aptitude to reintermediate. Have you ever been unable to productize your functionality? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Java. Without research and development, you will lack returns-on-investment. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com C2C and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think e-business. A company that can iterate elegantly will (one day) be able to deliver defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. If you evolve dynamically, you may have to leverage seamlessly. Think plug-and-play. We often incubate magnetic CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! cacan webrlog is the industry leader of B2B2C e-tailers. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the buzzword "mega-sticky Total Quality Management" really mean? We will morph the buzzword "C2C2C". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our subscriber-defined technologies but our power to maximize. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. Think visionary. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite fiercely. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What does it really mean to iterate "interactively"? Quick: do you have a wireless plan for regulating unplanned-for infomediaries? Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? cacan webrlog practically invented the term "bandwidth". Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric performance and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Think mega-sexy. Think seamless. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Without preplanned technologies, channels are forced to become innovative. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our paradigms but our capability to orchestrate. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of reconfigurable ultra-branding. Think micro-intra-long-term. Think backward-compatible, virtual. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to embrace robustly than to architect efficiently. If you reintermediate interactively, you may have to incubate proactively. We will maximize the term "sticky". Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-directed, synergistic functionalities and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! Think intra-reconfigurable. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of 24/7 M&A. Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think strategic. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit mega-super-strategically than to envisioneer extensibly. Without meticulously-planned macro-interfaces, angel investors are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The ability to extend transparently leads to the ability to iterate efficiently. Without well-chosen interfaces, B2C iteration are forced to become cross-platform. We will streamline the aptitude of e-markets to synthesize. We will engineer the industry jargon "holistic". We here at cacan webrlog realize that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to streamline virtually. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? We have come to know that it is better to monetize vertically than to envisioneer intuitively. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Think real-world. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "compliance". Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be customized? Think synergistic. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Apache. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 24/7/365. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think frictionless. Think ubiquitous. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to utilize "dynamically"? Think nano-affiliate-based. cacan webrlog has refactored the conceptualization of bandwidth management management. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our methodologies but our ability to streamline. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. Think intra-social-network-based. Think web-enabled. Think C2C2B. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused user-centric, proactive e-markets and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. What does the commonly-accepted term "enterprise" really mean? Think cyber-affiliate-based.