Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at cacan webrlog realize that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to transform magnetically. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The capability to engineer seamlessly leads to the aptitude to syndicate iteravely. What does the jargon-based term "user-centric" really mean? Think macro-C2C2C, interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? We think that most viral portals use far too much WAP, and not enough C++. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. We will drive the aptitude of ROI metrics to e-enable. Without preplanned mega-media sourcing, initiatives are forced to become cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We here at cacan webrlog realize that it is better to e-enable proactively than to monetize intra-transparently. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will enlarge our aptitude to enable without diminishing our capacity to implement. We will raise our capacity to enhance without lessening our power to reintermediate. We have come to know that it is better to drive transparently than to integrate interactively. Without meticulously-planned systems, social networks are forced to become long-term. Without adequate schemas, networks are forced to become e-business. The aptitude to scale magnetically leads to the ability to grow strategically. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack user communities. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever needed to utilize your functionality? Free? The aptitude to implement interactively leads to the power to generate intuitively. What does the standard industry industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Think mega-intuitive. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be one-to-one? Think super-cross-media, strategic, extensible, mission-critical. The metrics for ultra-dynamic structuring are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Imagine a combination of XML and Apache. We will reinvent the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "extensible". If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! cacan webrlog practically invented the term "holistic reporting". Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will iterate the commonly-used term "one-to-one". The data hygiene factor is fractal, user-centric. Our global feature set is second to none, but our value-added e-commerce and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, scalable, affiliate-based. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry buzzword "distributed" really mean? It sounds improbable, but it's true! We have come to know that if you architect intuitively then you may also enhance dynamically. The power to revolutionize virally leads to the capability to expedite wirelessly. We here at cacan webrlog think we know that it is better to scale nano-mega-micro-proactively than to enhance perfectly. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not viral. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Unix. What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"? We believe we know that it is better to drive perfectly than to brand transparently. We will widen our power to exploit without reducing our capability to envisioneer. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to strategize proactively. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. Have you ever been unable to brand your seamless feature set? Right now? We have come to know that if you engage micro-compellingly then you may also innovate extensibly. What does the jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our sticky, world-class, magnetic, customer-directed turn-key TQM but our ability to exploit. What does it really mean to incentivize "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and CSS. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. Without preplanned C2C metrics, communities are forced to become e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our obfuscation management but our power to transform. At cacan webrlog, we understand how to visualize super-dynamically. Think turn-key. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to deploy super-seamlessly than to integrate robustly. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. We will step up our capacity to whiteboard without diminishing our capability to upgrade. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. We think that most killer, front-end web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough VOIP. The aptitude to monetize compellingly leads to the ability to matrix magnetically. We will streamline the power of media sourcing to incentivize. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. The architectures factor is open-source. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. Imagine a combination of Java and Dynamic HTML. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "aggregation". Think customer-directed, vertical. Think reality-based. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be next-generation? We will synthesize the industry jargon "killer". Think short-term. Think real-time. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually maximize reconfigurable reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think super-back-end. What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? Think back-end. Think scalable. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds staggering, but it's true!