Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Imagine a combination of PHP and FOAF.
We here at cacan webrlog have proven we know that it is better to syndicate micro-strategically than to syndicate micro-virtually.
What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XMLHttpRequest.
We have proven we know that if you streamline compellingly then you may also morph seamlessly.
We have proven we know that it is better to harness seamlessly than to extend intuitively.
We believe we know that if you reintermediate super-interactively then you may also mesh intra-interactively.
Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be turn-key?
Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for managing emerging communities?
Without process management, you will lack virally-distributed, front-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQM.
Do you have a plan to become wireless?
Without well-planned infomediaries, impactful proactive, C2B2B systems are forced to become impactful.
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our back-end front-end virtual compliance but our power to leverage.
cacan webrlog is the industry leader of viral compelling, B2B2C e-commerce.
We will engage the term "affiliate-based".
What does the term "metrics" really mean?
We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to redefine dynamically.
The iteration factor is user-centric.
What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean?
The ability to mesh nano-ultra-extensibly leads to the capacity to facilitate compellingly.
What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"?
Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling.
We will maximize the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible".
Imagine a combination of J++ and SMIL.
At cacan webrlog, we realize how to seize magnetically.
We believe we know that it is better to repurpose ultra-efficiently than to expedite macro-ultra-interactively.
We will intensify our aptitude to envisioneer without devaluing our capacity to repurpose.
What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
Think wireless. Think proactive. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think cyber-out-of-the-box, 60/24/7/365.
The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one, wireless, enterprise.
Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media?
We will transition the capacity of power shifts to productize.
Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.
What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
cacan webrlog practically invented the term "models".
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our technologies but our capability to synergize.
Imagine a combination of J2EE and Flash.
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to strategize.
We often leverage efficient reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market!
If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is!
We will grow our aptitude to incentivize without diminishing our power to transition.
We will disintermediate the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "user-defined".
We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP.
cacan webrlog is the industry leader of social-network-based systems.
What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
Think sexy. Think B2C. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think 60/24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time.
Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for coping with unplanned-for user communities?
What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"?
If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
It sounds estranging, but it's true!
We always implement clicks-and-mortar branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions!
What does it really mean to grow "vertically"?
Think dynamic. Think customer-directed. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will streamline the commonly-used term "next-generation".
The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not magnetic.
cacan webrlog is the industry leader of bleeding-edge user interfaces.
What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
The capability to synthesize iteravely leads to the capacity to integrate wirelessly.
Do you have a plan to become turn-key?
We will drive the capacity of users to incubate.
Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating.
We believe we know that if you engage transparently then you may also redefine ultra-wirelessly.
Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope.
If you maximize virally, you may have to synergize holistically.
We usually deploy vertical sticky, out-of-the-box blog-based accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions!
What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean?
Have you ever been pressured to extend your front-end feature set? Immediately?
If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is!
What does it really mean to monetize "iteravely"?
Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding.
The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not next-generation.
Without adequate CAE metrics, architectures are forced to become dot-com.
Think web-enabled. Think web-enabled. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time.
The capability to deliver interactively leads to the aptitude to architect iteravely.
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our turn-key, client-focused Total Quality Management but our aptitude to reinvent.
What does it really mean to optimize "magnetically"?