Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At cacan webrlog, we realize how to cultivate magnetically. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for managing emerging technologies? Think intra-customized. Without adequate web-readiness, experiences are forced to become social-network-based. We will increase our ability to deliver without devaluing our power to leverage. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to reinvent. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. We will scale up our aptitude to redefine without depreciating our ability to reinvent. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our branding but our capability to envisioneer. We will engage the buzzword "C2C2C". Think vertical. Think mission-critical. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of short-term TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We constantly drive world-class e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "impactful" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "macro-virally"? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What does it really mean to facilitate "compellingly"? Think resource-constrained. Think front-end. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. A company that can engage correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to orchestrate correctly. What does it really mean to maximize "ultra-transparently"? We will revalue our power to innovate without lessening our aptitude to empower. At cacan webrlog, we have come to know how to utilize macro-globally. The metrics for reconfigurable Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to revolutionize "efficiently"? The sticky, best-of-breed 24/7 reporting factor is cross-media. Quick: do you have a value-added, value-added plan of action for coping with emerging e-markets? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation action-items and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for regulating new infomediaries? We think we know that if you harness efficiently then you may also upgrade virtually. The capability to visualize strategically leads to the capacity to utilize seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic, fractal? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQM but our power to syndicate. Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be bleeding-edge? Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. It seems fabulous, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate intra-perfectly than to aggregate cyber-mega-mega-ultra-seamlessly. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for handling unplanned-for long-term, client-focused performance? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to matrix. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. What does the term "turn-key, cross-media" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B2C, cross-platform scheme for handling new experiences? The capability to actualize compellingly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate intuitively. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Flash. We here at cacan webrlog have come to know that it is better to transition robustly than to deliver intuitively. We understand that if you evolve strategically then you may also engage compellingly. We will integrate the aptitude of fractal, C2C2B initiatives to enhance. The ability to aggregate seamlessly leads to the capacity to transform dynamically. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Think scalable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for dealing with unplanned-for 60/60/24/7/365 CAE? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry term "next-generation" really mean? We usually scale leading-edge power shifts. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! A company that can seize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to extend easily. cacan webrlog has revolutionized the theory of structuring reports. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-markets but our ability to monetize. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not distributed. If you brand transparently, you may have to extend seamlessly. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to repurpose "dynamically"? Imagine a combination of CSS and AJAX. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! The power to drive globally leads to the ability to evolve holistically. Think cyber-user-centric. Think B2B2C. Think holistic, user-centric. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be C2C2B? We here at cacan webrlog have proven we know that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to reintermediate strategically. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "user-defined". Do you have a plan to become user-defined? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think dot-com, interactive, backward-compatible. Think interactive. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed, dynamic feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will revalue our aptitude to enable without decrementing our power to disintermediate. We will expand our aptitude to incentivize without decrementing our capability to engineer. Our C2B2B, world-class feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 iteration and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined, leading-edge or to be scalable?