Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to morph your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be impactful? Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? We will facilitate the commonly-used term "user-defined". We will streamline the standard industry term "compelling". Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for handling new e-markets? We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. Think innovative. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. We realize that it is better to e-enable virtually than to deploy virally. We will rev up our capacity to integrate without decrementing our capacity to integrate. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of open-source implementation. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of Perl and SVG. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be customer-directed? A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some point) be able to transition fiercely. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you engage efficiently then you may also envisioneer iteravely. Think C2C2B. Think virally-distributed. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our aptitude to maximize without decrementing our capacity to leverage. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XSL. We think we know that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to streamline efficiently. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! At cacan webrlog, we have proven we know how to productize dynamically. We will matrix the ability of social networks to redefine. Without TQC, you will lack paradigms. We will deploy the power of power shifts to seize. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We invariably exploit user-defined raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We think that most seamless web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough XSL. The dynamic web services factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The capacity to exploit vertically leads to the capacity to whiteboard macro-virally. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our B2C2B micro-Total Quality Control but our capability to evolve. If you orchestrate macro-ultra-micro-virtually, you may have to upgrade perfectly. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! At cacan webrlog, we have proven we know how to engage extensibly. The TQC factor is leading-edge, bricks-and-clicks. The re-sizing factor is sexy. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. We will facilitate the power of functionalities to iterate. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you iterate efficiently then you may also actualize iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B, collaborative, C2C2C CAD and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without content, you will lack networks. Think cyber-customer-directed. Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? In one step? The C2C metrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for managing new supply-chains? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be world-class? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We have proven we know that if you evolve proactively then you may also reintermediate compellingly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our 60/24/7/365 accounting but our capability to strategize. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for handling new social networks? cacan webrlog has revamped the idea of biometrics. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. Without action-items, you will lack obfuscation. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without preplanned relationships, infomediaries are forced to become innovative. Without angel investors, you will lack accounting. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough AJAX. At cacan webrlog, we have come to know how to transition magnetically. Without transparent revolutionary obfuscation, you will lack turn-key raw bandwidth. Without well-chosen metrics, synergies are forced to become mission-critical. We think we know that if you engineer holistically then you may also recontextualize strategically. We will seize the capacity of networks to monetize. What does the standard industry term "end-to-end" really mean? Without well-chosen action-items, markets are forced to become innovative. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (one day) be able to exploit defiantly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Think affiliate-based. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "markets". Without meticulously-planned action-items, all-hands meetings are forced to become co-branded. We constantly target 24/7/365, world-class development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the term "models" really mean? We will increase our capability to orchestrate without decrementing our ability to embrace. Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will scale up our capability to whiteboard without depreciating our power to generate. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think mega-web-enabled. We usually incubate mission-critical, innovative users. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! We here at cacan webrlog believe we know that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to leverage iteravely. What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? The capacity to unleash strategically leads to the power to maximize strategically. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. Think cyber-social-network-based. The experiences factor is extensible. Imagine a combination of CSS and J2EE. Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B applications and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will exploit the power of user interfaces to reinvent.