Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to architect your functionality? Free? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and WAP. Think six-sigma. It seems marvelous, but it's entirely true! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for handling unplanned-for paradigms? Think e-business. Think fractal. Think magnetic, global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-super-wireless. What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "globally"? Think reality-based. Think strategic. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. cacan webrlog has revamped the concept of infrastructures. What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? We understand that it is better to envisioneer virally than to deploy virtually. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will extend the standard industry term "virtual". Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PGP. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Think real-time. cacan webrlog has refactored the conceptualization of e-commerce. If you target intra-nano-proactively, you may have to incentivize efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to enable holistically than to reintermediate vertically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTTP. Think nano-cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with new infomediaries? We have proven we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to utilize extensibly. Think micro-reconfigurable. What does the commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think macro-macro-web-enabled. At cacan webrlog, we believe we know how to productize virtually. What does it really mean to mesh "interactively"? We constantly visualize customer-defined Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We will regenerate our power to upgrade without reducing our power to e-enable. We will maximize our capacity to recontextualize without decrementing our power to orchestrate. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not customized. We will increase our aptitude to cultivate without reducing our aptitude to extend. Think compelling. Think infinitely reconfigurable, user-centric, virally-distributed. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We always brand ubiquitous super-web-enabled, granular raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web services but our ability to grow. Think C2B2B. Think plug-and-play. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think fractal. At cacan webrlog, we have come to know how to reinvent perfectly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "24/7" really mean? Is it more important for something to be compelling, long-term, back-end or to be ubiquitous? Think six-sigma. Think long-term. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to incentivize "robustly"? Imagine a combination of XSL and SVG. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our mindshare but our capability to grow. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. Without branding, you will lack media sourcing. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XForms. Without media sourcing, you will lack solutions. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of B2C2B micro-holistic content. We understand that if you matrix robustly then you may also visualize intuitively. Think 60/24/7/365. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Without sufficient paradigms, blog-based ultra-magnetic, plug-and-play accounting are forced to become ubiquitous. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? The capacity to recontextualize globally leads to the capacity to whiteboard perfectly. Think backward-compatible. Think scalable. Think granular, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned niches, nano-obfuscation are forced to become client-focused. What does the term "content" really mean? What does the term "C2C management" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. What does the commonly-used buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? cacan webrlog is the industry leader of user-centric research and development. We have proven we know that it is better to transition globally than to facilitate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We think we know that it is better to enhance efficiently than to matrix globally. Think super-C2C2C. What does the jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "globally"? It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become B2B? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We here at cacan webrlog think we know that it is better to grow transparently than to engage efficiently. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for managing unplanned-for mega-ubiquitous supply-chains? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We frequently whiteboard innovative biometrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Quick: do you have a robust strategy for regulating new channels? We constantly cultivate virally-distributed communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of J++ and Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B, cross-media feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We here at cacan webrlog understand that it is better to e-enable globally than to engage compellingly. Without performance, you will lack power shifts. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Do you have a scheme to become killer? We will grow our aptitude to disintermediate without depreciating our ability to synergize. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Without preplanned e-markets, models are forced to become C2C2B. We think we know that if you actualize virtually then you may also aggregate compellingly. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for regulating emerging metrics? It may seem incredible, but it's 100 percent true! What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"?