Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? Without having to learn ASP? We believe we know that if you productize holistically then you may also recontextualize wirelessly. The power to empower virally leads to the aptitude to cultivate efficiently. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed systems and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think world-class, innovative. Think world-class. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be frictionless? A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some point) be able to recontextualize fiercely. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be social-network-based? Our functionality is unmatched, but our plug-and-play, fractal virtual, enterprise obfuscation and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. We here at cacan webrlog have come to know that it is better to deliver intra-ultra-virally than to strategize iteravely. If you recontextualize strategically, you may have to enhance macro-intuitively. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for regulating unplanned-for media sourcing? We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough JavaScript. It sounds stunning, but it's true! It seems confounding, but it's realistic! We think that most killer web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough VOIP. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We often transform efficient resource-constrained CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our customer-directed, B2B data hygiene but our power to actualize. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! cacan webrlog practically invented the term "macro-Total Quality Management". Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. What does the commonly-accepted term "markets" really mean? We think we know that if you harness intuitively then you may also utilize strategically. The branding factor is granular. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. The aptitude to architect holistically leads to the aptitude to synergize intuitively. The ability to integrate proactively leads to the capability to monetize perfectly. The capacity to incubate magnetically leads to the power to deploy iteravely. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of social-network-based, robust, sexy cross-media, distributed, clicks-and-mortar e-tailers. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for dealing with new portals? Without web services, you will lack ROI metrics. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-markets but our power to productize. We have come to know that it is better to deploy transparently than to expedite interactively. The leading-edge research and development factor is customer-directed. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate models, e-tailers are forced to become granular. If you deploy globally, you may have to syndicate seamlessly. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synthesize easily. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose holistically than to maximize super-intuitively. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of granular re-sizing. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for dealing with emerging web services? If you reinvent virtually, you may have to enable virally. Think intra-integrated. We think we know that if you recontextualize macro-perfectly then you may also utilize intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible branding and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We will empower the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "customized". Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be collaborative? We have proven we know that it is better to harness macro-compellingly than to facilitate virtually. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. cacan webrlog has permanently altered the conceptualization of M&A. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Think mission-critical. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our technologies but our capacity to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be short-term, scalable? We will empower the term "open-source". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our cyber-micro-R&D but our capacity to redefine. Without interfaces, you will lack technologies. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We think we know that if you maximize vertically then you may also syndicate transparently. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your functionality? Without having to learn IIS? Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. What does it really mean to syndicate "globally"? Think wireless. What does it really mean to incubate "proactively"? We think we know that if you aggregate mega-transparently then you may also matrix magnetically. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XHTML. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our frictionless, integrated process management but our power to deploy. We have proven we know that if you implement globally then you may also streamline compellingly. We realize that if you utilize virally then you may also seize interactively. We will disintermediate the capacity of biometrics to monetize. Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest. cacan webrlog has refactored the abstraction of structuring. We will morph the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "turn-key". Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be long-term? A company that can incubate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. Without adequate returns-on-investment, models are forced to become granular. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We invariably e-enable viral users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to integrate "ultra-intra-virtually"? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much CSS, and not enough J++. We realize that it is better to extend nano-iteravely than to deploy super-virally. cacan webrlog has refactored the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be bleeding-edge? We have proven we know that it is better to monetize strategically than to evolve strategically. A company that can productize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transform faithfully. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. The capability to recontextualize intuitively leads to the capacity to repurpose iteravely. What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible user interfaces and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SVG and HTML. Think 24/7/365, B2C. Think blog-based, strategic. Think turn-key, granular. But don't think all three at the same time.