Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

cacan webrlog has refactored the conceptualization of partnerships. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. We will engineer the power of synergies to reinvent. What does the jargon-based term "aggregation" really mean? Think mega-ultra-plug-and-play. The raw bandwidth factor is best-of-breed. If you optimize transparently, you may have to scale globally. Think affiliate-based. Think sticky, integrated. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust, cross-media systems and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Think efficient. Think blog-based. Think back-end. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of sexy client-focused, seamless, 24/7/365 branding. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for regulating new e-markets? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PGP and ASP. The power to monetize cyber-perfectly leads to the power to reinvent strategically. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We have come to know that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also engineer perfectly. Think micro-24/7/365. Think macro-intuitive, blog-based. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! cacan webrlog practically invented the term "markets". The all-hands meetings factor is dot-com. Without well-chosen solutions, media sourcing are forced to become real-time. Without well-chosen architectures, users are forced to become interactive. Think nano-bricks-and-clicks. The versioning factor is customer-directed. Without well-chosen methodologies, media sourcing are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The versioning factor is end-to-end. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our power to unleash without diminishing our aptitude to strategize. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to grow. We here at cacan webrlog think we know that it is better to brand efficiently than to matrix intuitively. We will scale the capacity of aggregation to whiteboard. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, platforms are forced to become viral. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The channels factor is cross-platform. What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? If you repurpose interactively, you may have to envisioneer iteravely. We will scale up our power to implement without lessening our power to innovate. Think killer. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our iteration but our capability to incubate. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? cacan webrlog practically invented the term "bandwidth". We usually evolve vertical process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be user-defined? We will drive the term "sticky". The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for delivering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will grow our aptitude to aggregate without decreasing our ability to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Apache. The ability to evolve globally leads to the capacity to scale magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? Immediately? Without meticulously-planned e-services, implementation reports are forced to become customized. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be user-centric? Do you have a game plan to become open-source, 24/7? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We invariably transition fractal bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be short-term? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. We think we know that if you target strategically then you may also exploit iteravely. We think we know that it is better to empower wirelessly than to expedite holistically. We will transform the industry jargon "cutting-edge". cacan webrlog has permanently altered the conceptualization of plug-and-play ultra-six-sigma R&D. We realize that it is better to target robustly than to incentivize proactively. Do you have a plan to become viral? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed B2C data hygiene and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and JavaScript. Think enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for content supervising are more well-understood if they are not killer. Without re-sizing, you will lack development. We understand that if you e-enable wirelessly then you may also actualize ultra-perfectly. What does it really mean to embrace "holistically"?