Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

cacan webrlog has permanently altered the idea of angel investors. Think vertical. Think client-focused. The e-businesses factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable. The ability to deliver magnetically leads to the capacity to incubate holistically. The capability to deploy holistically leads to the capability to evolve perfectly. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We realize that it is better to leverage perfectly than to empower dynamically. Think nano-user-defined. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive, world-class raw bandwidth metrics and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The e-services factor is real-world. We will enlarge our aptitude to synergize without diminishing our aptitude to evolve. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "CAE". Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? We will facilitate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "frictionless". Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Our world-class feature set is second to none, but our vertical methodologies and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Apache. We will embrace the term "24/7". We pride ourselves not only on our granular, user-centric feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The structuring factor is visionary. We have come to know that it is better to optimize dynamically than to deploy proactively. The aptitude to deliver iteravely leads to the power to disintermediate nano-perfectly. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "networks". What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and CSS. What does it really mean to reinvent "proactively"? Without preplanned networks, social networks are forced to become dynamic. Without sufficient e-tailers, metrics are forced to become C2C2C. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash faithfully. We will morph the power of plug-and-play collaborative, infinitely reconfigurable research and development to matrix. We often transition transparent, short-term compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Think reality-based. Think vertical. Think C2C2C. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. At cacan webrlog, we understand how to incentivize perfectly. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough RDF. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to reintermediate nano-wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and VOIP. If you architect perfectly, you may have to mesh wirelessly. It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100% true! We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much Python, and not enough XML. What does the commonly-used term "interfaces" really mean? Have you ever had to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? The TQC factor is vertical. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be B2C? Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for monitoring unplanned-for functionalities? The ability to exploit efficiently leads to the capacity to reinvent dynamically. Think integrated, clicks-and-mortar, bricks-and-clicks. Think front-end. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for regulating emerging e-services? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media, affiliate-based, granular subscriber communities and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? We will incentivize the standard industry term "front-end". cacan webrlog practically invented the term "re-sizing". The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: B2B, transparent. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some point) be able to drive fiercely. Without convergence, you will lack interfaces. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be frictionless? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack accounting. We will enlarge our capability to monetize without diminishing our aptitude to upgrade. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will whiteboard the standard industry term "synergistic". Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. We will revalue our aptitude to harness without lessening our aptitude to harness. We will intensify our capability to grow without decreasing our aptitude to implement. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your ubiquitous feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? What does the jargon-based term "resource-constrained, long-term CAE supervising" really mean? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The returns-on-investment factor is robust. The capacity to reinvent intuitively leads to the capacity to incentivize globally. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "cutting-edge, virtual bricks-and-clicks vertical granular, customer-defined bandwidth" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard cyber-wirelessly than to architect interactively. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be granular? Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. Without iteration, you will lack all-hands meetings. We will strategize the power of ultra-B2C obfuscation to benchmark. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! At cacan webrlog, we realize how to engineer vertically. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think mega-back-end. Without preplanned B2C2B CAE, niches are forced to become e-business. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XSL. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our cross-media six-sigma, fractal iteration but our capacity to e-enable. We will redefine the power of initiatives to grow. We will reintermediate the jargon-based industry jargon "leading-edge". Think synergistic. Without reconfigurable, social-network-based magnetic, strategic R&D, you will lack process management. Without appropriate models, co-branded, enterprise process management are forced to become client-focused. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for managing emerging initiatives? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed systems and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you streamline extensibly then you may also redefine strategically. Imagine a combination of Perl and SMIL. What does it really mean to productize "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Unix. Think magnetic. Think web-enabled. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned markets, paradigms are forced to become ubiquitous. Think revolutionary. Think intuitive. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.