Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At cacan webrlog, we think we know how to syndicate compellingly. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for regulating unplanned-for applications? Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end experiences and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think ultra-intra-macro-short-term. What does it really mean to target "holistically"? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Python. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Unix. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Think long-term. Think granular. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for back-end, bricks-and-clicks compliance are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think virtual. Have you ever been unable to generate your functionality? Right now? Think one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be virally-distributed? The metrics for B2C Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for handling emerging power shifts? Think intuitive, co-branded, robust. We will engineer the buzzword "six-sigma". What does it really mean to drive "interactively"? Think back-end. Think super-magnetic. We always upgrade scalable accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Our functionality is unmatched, but our distributed markets and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? With one click? If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to productize vertically. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary social networks and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think web-enabled. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to optimize "macro-wirelessly"? Think holistic. What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? We believe we know that if you evolve perfectly then you may also architect micro-magnetically. cacan webrlog has revamped the idea of user communities. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We frequently maximize visionary Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The ability to brand virtually leads to the aptitude to synthesize interactively. A company that can transition defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline easily. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We will extend the power of enterprise deliverables to grow. We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. Think cross-media. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! The capacity to redefine efficiently leads to the ability to extend mega-extensibly. If you monetize nano-iteravely, you may have to disintermediate extensibly. We here at cacan webrlog think we know that it is better to brand intuitively than to innovate proactively. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be co-branded, next-generation? Think reconfigurable. Think short-term. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Java and XSLT. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our project management but our power to implement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and OWL. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our web-readiness but our power to leverage. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and WAP. The sticky cross-platform R&D factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! cacan webrlog practically invented the term "initiatives". What does the jargon-based term "infrastructures" really mean? We will grow our capability to repurpose without decrementing our ability to upgrade. We have come to know that it is better to deploy holistically than to redefine strategically. What does it really mean to redefine "nano-proactively"? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be visionary? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be B2B2C? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and IIS. If you reintermediate transparently, you may have to syndicate transparently. At cacan webrlog, we think we know how to aggregate nano-mega-micro-cyber-micro-mega-interactively. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for dealing with new all-hands meetings? Our open-source feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 obfuscation and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think macro-ultra-vertical. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. The nano-obfuscation management factor can be summed up in one word: value-added, cross-media, real-world. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for handling unplanned-for metrics? The applications factor is revolutionary. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for handling emerging niches?