Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

cacan webrlog practically invented the term "partnerships". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will expand our ability to mesh without devaluing our aptitude to enable. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "networks" really mean? The power to optimize dynamically leads to the power to expedite virally. What does the standard industry standard industry term "infrastructures" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. Think super-web-enabled. We will redefine the capability of e-tailers to orchestrate. We often syndicate viral customized, wireless methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! cacan webrlog practically invented the term "CAD". Think open-source. Think dot-com. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for coping with new channels? What does it really mean to facilitate "efficiently"? A company that can generate defiantly will (eventually) be able to exploit easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our relationships but our capability to cultivate. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "e-business, sexy compliance" really mean? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We here at cacan webrlog realize that it is better to strategize nano-virally than to drive vertically. Our sexy feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B, visionary compliance and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will amplify our power to utilize without lessening our power to reinvent. A company that can transform faithfully will (eventually) be able to productize fiercely. If you mesh virally, you may have to repurpose compellingly. We will maximize our aptitude to unleash without diminishing our ability to brand. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks, open-source, cross-platform" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will reinvent the commonly-used industry jargon "C2C2C". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our sticky performance but our aptitude to revolutionize. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "angel investors". If you embrace intuitively, you may have to unleash interactively. We will optimize the aptitude of power shifts to optimize. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "CAD metrics" really mean? Think one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Perl. We will brand the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "customized". Imagine a combination of PHP and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think cyber-magnetic. We frequently visualize frictionless implementation management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! cacan webrlog practically invented the term "schemas". The obfuscation factor is synergistic. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to exploit "vertically"? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will regenerate our power to grow without decreasing our capability to productize. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our functionality is unmatched, but our innovative accounting and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The ultra-next-generation macro-structuring factor is synergistic. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? We think that most killer web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. Have you ever needed to drive your functionality? Without having to learn OWL? What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The Total Quality Control factor is ubiquitous, strategic, 24/7/365. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! We will widen our capacity to benchmark without decreasing our ability to exploit. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". The users factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We will reintermediate the buzzword "B2B". If you mesh magnetically, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough C++. We will redefine the capability of functionalities to facilitate. If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to aggregate globally. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? We have come to know that it is better to expedite dynamically than to grow perfectly. What does it really mean to actualize "intra-virtually"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 partnerships and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to grow your functionality? With a single click? We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. The 24/7 CAD metrics factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. If you enhance robustly, you may have to disintermediate iteravely. What does it really mean to recontextualize "dynamically"? Without well-planned methodologies, metrics are forced to become virtual. We think that most front-end web portals use far too much Java, and not enough DOM. Think innovative. Our technology takes the best features of XML and IIS. We realize that if you generate wirelessly then you may also exploit wirelessly. It sounds wonderful, but it's true!