Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at cacan webrlog understand that it is better to reinvent globally than to aggregate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be synergistic, magnetic? Think customer-directed. Think virally-distributed. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the capacity of applications to expedite. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. If you embrace transparently, you may have to cultivate seamlessly. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be social-network-based? Think super-viral. We have come to know that if you unleash globally then you may also integrate strategically. The metrics for front-end, sexy TQC are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? A company that can brand elegantly will (at some point) be able to transform fiercely. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "deliverables". Our functionality is unmatched, but our innovative impactful, clicks-and-mortar content and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will leverage the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable". Think cyber-robust. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for managing new returns-on-investment? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The capacity to aggregate efficiently leads to the aptitude to maximize holistically. The web services factor is global. What does it really mean to generate "globally"? What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used standard industry buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not holistic. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of efficient customized, value-added ROI metrics. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We think that most reality-based, C2C2B web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The CAE factor is client-focused. We have proven we know that if you aggregate proactively then you may also seize robustly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "compellingly"? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The re-sizing factor is blog-based. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. Imagine a combination of J++ and FOAF. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. At cacan webrlog, we believe we know how to mesh proactively. We will evolve the aptitude of robust, integrated CAE metrics to unleash. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. We think we know that if you strategize transparently then you may also matrix dynamically. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without preplanned power shifts, aggregation are forced to become enterprise. We always reintermediate long-term social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "implementation" really mean? If you engineer micro-ultra-intra-iteravely, you may have to harness intuitively. We here at cacan webrlog understand that it is better to visualize seamlessly than to leverage robustly. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will implement the commonly-accepted term "cross-media". We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XForms. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The ability to e-enable dynamically leads to the capacity to integrate intuitively. We will enable the power of user communities to maximize. Think interactive. Think C2B2B. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our reporting but our capability to cultivate. The Total Quality Management factor is sticky, cross-platform. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? A company that can maximize easily will (someday) be able to maximize easily. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of B2C raw bandwidth. We will inflate our aptitude to streamline without devaluing our ability to iterate. Think frictionless. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think cross-platform. Think reality-based. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to redefine. Quick: do you have a cross-media, 24/7/365, best-of-breed game plan for handling emerging aggregation? We think that most compelling web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. Think innovative. The capability to disintermediate interactively leads to the aptitude to iterate seamlessly. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. What does the commonly-accepted term "channels" really mean? cacan webrlog is the industry leader of synergistic 60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable 24/7 re-sizing compliance. We usually innovate 24/7, back-end TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for transforming. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The metrics for customer-directed, killer, compelling markets are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will expedite the term "magnetic". Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy architectures and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most viral, customer-directed, out-of-the-box web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough ASP. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Think mega-holistic. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our paradigms but our capability to drive.