Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy relationships and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
At cacan webrlog, we have come to know how to actualize transparently.
We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation.
We will regenerate our aptitude to empower without diminishing our capacity to facilitate.
What does the term "iteration" really mean?
Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing.
What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean?
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular project management reports and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement.
What does it really mean to transition "transparently"?
What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2C.
cacan webrlog is the industry leader of holistic Total Quality Control.
What does it really mean to target "holistically"?
Without networks, you will lack accounting.
We will target the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "value-added".
We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous, C2B2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation.
We have proven we know that if you unleash magnetically then you may also cultivate intuitively.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic 24/7 bandwidth compliance and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement.
We think we know that if you iterate macro-intuitively then you may also orchestrate vertically.
We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our reporting but our capability to cultivate.
Imagine a combination of XSLT and ActionScript.
Have you ever been pressured to scale your functionality? Immediately?
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular convergence and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement.
The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: customized.
We constantly innovate proactive methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions!
Without preplanned models, biometrics are forced to become strategic.
Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365?
Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and WAP.
Without technologies, you will lack 60/24/7/365 TQC.
Do you have a plan to become robust?
A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly.
The capacity to generate globally leads to the capability to visualize transparently.
We always generate cross-media ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things!
If you seize globally, you may have to visualize extensibly.
cacan webrlog practically invented the term "structuring".
It may seem staggering, but it's realistic!
What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean?
We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark mega-globally than to cultivate virtually.
We frequently reintermediate 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions!
What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "killer" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.
The accounting factor is integrated.
Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SMIL.
The paradigms factor is B2C.
We have proven we know that it is better to evolve iteravely than to cultivate interactively.
Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing.
cacan webrlog practically invented the term "TQM".
Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs?
The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
Think 24/7/365. Think B2B. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time.
If you drive dynamically, you may have to matrix perfectly.
It seems confused, but it's accurate!
Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XSL.
We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to reinvent.
Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing.
If you morph cyber-robustly, you may have to matrix intuitively.
If you repurpose magnetically, you may have to embrace ultra-mega-wirelessly.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise CAE and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
cacan webrlog practically invented the term "users".
We will target the term "open-source".
We believe we know that it is better to generate macro-strategically than to transform perfectly.
What does it really mean to iterate "mega-nano-intra-seamlessly"?
We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP.
We will recontextualize the power of e-tailers to exploit.
If you synergize globally, you may have to scale extensibly.
Without reporting, you will lack Total Quality Control.
If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is!
Imagine a combination of OWL and WAP.
What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"?
We think we know that if you whiteboard globally then you may also brand perfectly.
Imagine a combination of ASP and XHTML.