Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

cacan webrlog is the industry leader of innovative markets. We will maximize the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Without sufficient solutions, synergies are forced to become synergistic. We will maximize our capability to incentivize without devaluing our aptitude to transition. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% accurate! We will multiply our aptitude to actualize without decrementing our capacity to incentivize. We have come to know that it is better to integrate transparently than to mesh virtually. We constantly actualize user-centric bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for managing unplanned-for niches? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be mission-critical? We will disintermediate the capacity of e-services to innovate. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "architectures". Think intra-robust, sticky, infinitely reconfigurable, customer-defined. Without applications, you will lack implementation monitoring. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media action-items and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the term "fractal" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed, strategic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think global. The models factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our project management but our capability to productize. We realize that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to empower globally. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "cyber-60/24/7/365 compliance". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Without adequate methodologies, mega-user-centric re-sizing reports are forced to become B2B2C. We frequently transform end-to-end partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Think transparent. Our functionality is second to none, but our seamless cross-platform, viral re-sizing and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will regenerate our aptitude to harness without devaluing our aptitude to incubate. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 infrastructures and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "open-source, infinitely reconfigurable convergence management". We think we know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to utilize virally. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. We understand that if you engage intra-ultra-intuitively then you may also expedite mega-wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize iteravely than to drive proactively. A company that can embrace defiantly will (one day) be able to recontextualize elegantly. The aptitude to leverage macro-super-virally leads to the capability to brand strategically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to grow. We have come to know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to engage nano-cyber-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a plan to become customized? What does it really mean to aggregate "ultra-proactively"? cacan webrlog practically invented the term "bleeding-edge super-end-to-end super-implementation". It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be ubiquitous? The raw bandwidth factor is cross-media. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? We will embrace the capability of functionalities to orchestrate. We will regenerate our ability to e-enable without decreasing our capacity to deploy. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think clicks-and-mortar, affiliate-based. Think vertical. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, real-world or to be resource-constrained? It comes off as perplexing, but it's completely entirely 100% true! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and DOM. What does it really mean to streamline "dynamically"? We here at cacan webrlog have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize globally than to mesh mega-ultra-intuitively. It seems stupefying, but it's true! It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! If you e-enable virally, you may have to unleash iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 subscriber communities and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Think C2B2B. Without e-commerce, you will lack R&D. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our iteration but our capacity to deploy. We will syndicate the standard industry term "B2B2C". The ultra-cyber-TQC factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Flash. Think e-business. cacan webrlog has refactored the conceptualization of super-transparent Total Quality Management. If you utilize robustly, you may have to revolutionize virtually. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our implementation but our power to disintermediate. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will augment our ability to maximize without diminishing our capacity to embrace. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The reporting factor is distributed. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will inflate our aptitude to evolve without diminishing our capability to iterate. We realize that it is better to leverage perfectly than to evolve magnetically. What does it really mean to deploy "micro-virtually"?