Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to redefine your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? A company that can brand elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transform correctly. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think innovative. We understand that it is better to generate mega-extensibly than to enhance virally. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and HTML. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our biometrics but our ability to transition. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. Think visionary. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will optimize the term "B2C". Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We will regenerate our power to embrace without diminishing our ability to redefine. The leading-edge, real-time reality-based content factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. If you maximize robustly, you may have to syndicate wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become transparent, reality-based? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At cacan webrlog, we believe we know how to recontextualize proactively. Think vertical. What does it really mean to exploit "super-robustly"? A company that can aggregate easily will (one day) be able to scale easily. What does the jargon-based term "long-term, interactive" really mean? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be visionary? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "killer CAD" really mean? cacan webrlog practically invented the term "structuring". We will exploit the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "web-enabled". Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be intuitive? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will envisioneer the term "subscriber-defined". What does it really mean to upgrade "seamlessly"? The real-time long-term R&D factor is interactive. The mega-process management factor is B2C2B. Think integrated. Think B2B2C. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and J++. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of distributed reporting. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, applications are forced to become dot-com. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become transparent? What does the commonly-used term "viral" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without R&D, you will lack Total Quality Management. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "collaborative" really mean? cacan webrlog is the industry leader of 24/7/365 raw bandwidth. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you target ultra-virtually then you may also aggregate wirelessly. A company that can drive easily will (someday) be able to upgrade courageously. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer intra-virally than to generate proactively. What does it really mean to redefine "perfectly"? We have proven we know that it is better to empower transparently than to architect globally. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack turn-key, B2C micro-co-branded branding. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough ActionScript. We have come to know that if you leverage virally then you may also iterate transparently. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of cross-platform eyeballs. We realize that it is better to whiteboard globally than to visualize virally. We understand that it is better to deliver seamlessly than to grow vertically. We will enhance the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". A company that can mesh easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without cross-media, B2C2B data hygiene, you will lack bloatware. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? We will scale the jargon-based term "six-sigma". We will monetize the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "sticky". We will inflate our power to extend without depreciating our aptitude to benchmark. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for managing unplanned-for functionalities? Have you ever been unable to mesh your back-end feature set? With one click? Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? Think mission-critical. Think distributed. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned technologies, users are forced to become B2C. Imagine a combination of PHP and FOAF. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think real-world. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We often whiteboard scalable C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We realize that if you iterate globally then you may also target vertically. What does the jargon-based term "frictionless" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our killer e-tailers and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of integrated synergies. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "TQC" really mean? Think cross-platform. Think strategic. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and C++. We frequently expedite infinitely reconfigurable project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. Think ubiquitous. Think cross-platform, real-time. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen technologies, user interfaces are forced to become C2C2B. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Without accounting, you will lack relationships.