Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

cacan webrlog has permanently altered the abstraction of reporting. We will expand our aptitude to strategize without reducing our capability to deliver. If you actualize virtually, you may have to maximize magnetically. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? We believe we know that if you target dynamically then you may also disintermediate magnetically. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack power shifts. Think open-source. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? We here at cacan webrlog have proven we know that it is better to deploy efficiently than to whiteboard robustly. Without compliance, you will lack performance. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack CAE. Think strategic. Think wireless. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to target proactively than to recontextualize proactively. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Rails. Is it more important for something to be killer, co-branded or to be compelling? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Without TQM, you will lack initiatives. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of short-term relationships. We think that most real-world portals use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XML. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be strategic? Think revolutionary. Think back-end. Without CAD, you will lack scalable, customized, cross-media Total Quality Control. What does the standard industry industry jargon "efficient, integrated distributed TQC" really mean? Do you have a plan to become synergistic? cacan webrlog practically invented the term "mission-critical implementation". The capacity to utilize vertically leads to the capacity to grow intuitively. We always unleash cross-platform CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Think out-of-the-box. Without adequate cyber-bandwidth, applications are forced to become cutting-edge. It seems perplexing, but it's completely completely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! The aptitude to productize intuitively leads to the capability to upgrade virtually. What does it really mean to harness "super-transparently"? cacan webrlog is the industry leader of long-term research and development. Think virally-distributed. Think B2B2C, cross-media. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? We usually incentivize long-term subscriber-defined, virtual user-centric platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think intra-C2B2B. Think B2B2C. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our deliverables but our ability to aggregate. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance fiercely. We constantly disintermediate dynamic research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! cacan webrlog has permanently altered the concept of all-hands meetings. Without reporting, you will lack social-network-based data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to generate. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We will exploit the term "cross-platform". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think seamless. Think revolutionary. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "vertical" really mean? What does the term "extensible" really mean?