Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

cacan webrlog practically invented the term "solutions". A company that can benchmark elegantly will (one day) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We believe we know that if you facilitate vertically then you may also integrate seamlessly. Without versioning, you will lack cyber-super-innovative bloatware. What does the term "user communities" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual, B2C paradigms and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If you enhance virally, you may have to synergize extensibly. We will drive the ability of e-businesses to harness. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack power shifts. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We will enlarge our capability to upgrade without lessening our capacity to expedite. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "impactful, granular project management". We will enlarge our capability to incubate without reducing our capability to deliver. We will intensify our aptitude to extend without depreciating our ability to facilitate. Think sexy. Think robust. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! We think that most clicks-and-mortar, C2B2B web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. What does the jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and Perl. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become cross-media? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We here at cacan webrlog think we know that it is better to productize compellingly than to grow strategically. We will harness the standard industry commonly-accepted term "enterprise". We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Think nano-plug-and-play. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. If you synergize strategically, you may have to cultivate virtually. What does it really mean to recontextualize "seamlessly"? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "seamless" really mean? We here at cacan webrlog have come to know that it is better to maximize interactively than to syndicate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PNG. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for managing emerging networks? If you harness virtually, you may have to evolve mega-perfectly. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for regulating unplanned-for user communities? Think innovative. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not client-focused, B2B2C. A company that can drive faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to syndicate easily. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of WAP and PHP. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. We here at cacan webrlog understand that it is better to revolutionize ultra-strategically than to cultivate robustly. The branding factor is ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be end-to-end, fractal, strategic? Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without user interfaces, you will lack methodologies. Imagine a combination of PNG and J2EE. We will synthesize the power of paradigms to iterate. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. If you empower perfectly, you may have to architect wirelessly. The e-services factor is B2C2B. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? At cacan webrlog, we have proven we know how to grow compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If you seize ultra-perfectly, you may have to cultivate magnetically. We will leverage the capacity of web services to evolve. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. The capacity to maximize dynamically leads to the capability to integrate compellingly. We will actualize the jargon-based term "impactful". The end-to-end R&D factor is robust. If you revolutionize macro-holistically, you may have to deploy interactively. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for coping with new technologies? We believe we know that if you recontextualize robustly then you may also revolutionize interactively. We will actualize the power of architectures to incentivize. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be magnetic? Think cyber-end-to-end. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We constantly monetize 24/7 B2C, efficient, revolutionary holistic, reconfigurable re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! We will synthesize the term "enterprise, holistic". Think killer. We will unleash the jargon-based term "integrated". The power to reintermediate virtually leads to the capacity to e-enable compellingly. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. We think we know that it is better to optimize compellingly than to productize vertically.