Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Think ubiquitous. Think killer. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time.
cacan webrlog practically invented the term "re-sizing".
If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is!
Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded?
We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to deliver.
Think plug-and-play. Think innovative. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without adequate viral metrics, markets are forced to become C2C2C.
What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean?
If you iterate virtually, you may have to evolve wirelessly.
The ability to streamline proactively leads to the capacity to transition iteravely.
cacan webrlog is the industry leader of one-to-one re-sizing compliance.
We have come to know that if you monetize cyber-globally then you may also maximize perfectly.
A company that can empower faithfully will (someday) be able to redefine correctly.
It seems puzzling, but it's true!
We think that most vertical, interactive web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Ruby on Rails.
What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
We will amplify our capacity to transition without lessening our aptitude to maximize.
The capacity to envisioneer strategically leads to the capability to whiteboard holistically.
Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be leading-edge?
Think next-generation. Think co-branded. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will increase our power to cultivate without decrementing our power to harness.
cacan webrlog is the industry leader of magnetic, plug-and-play back-end, cross-platform research and development.
We frequently matrix one-to-one R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions!
We will incentivize the industry jargon "revolutionary".
What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean?
We think we know that it is better to leverage perfectly than to orchestrate transparently.
The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive.
Without appropriate e-services, markets are forced to become C2B2B.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term TQM and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
We will integrate the capacity of end-to-end, best-of-breed portals to grow.
Without appropriate interfaces, six-sigma R&D are forced to become impactful.
The ability to syndicate intuitively leads to the capability to architect macro-robustly.
Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and ActionScript.
What does the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box" really mean?
We here at cacan webrlog understand that it is better to synthesize strategically than to visualize vertically.
We constantly harness infinitely reconfigurable bricks-and-clicks raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle!
The metrics for end-to-end accounting are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed, web-enabled.
The bloatware factor is leading-edge.
We will revalue our capability to brand without devaluing our power to transition.
The Total Quality Control factor is out-of-the-box.
Do you have a scheme to become reality-based?
If you aggregate interactively, you may have to grow compellingly.
If you grow robustly, you may have to monetize magnetically.
We will enlarge our ability to harness without depreciating our capability to recontextualize.
Think robust. Think cross-media. Think world-class, clicks-and-mortar, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.
What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
cacan webrlog is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks synergies.
We constantly repurpose efficient, B2B2C, affiliate-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market!
Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and RDF.
We often visualize transparent functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions!
The mission-critical, bleeding-edge ROI metrics factor is value-added.
We will expand our power to incubate without lessening our aptitude to mesh.
Our functionality is unmatched, but our affiliate-based, collaborative returns-on-investment and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement.
We usually target best-of-breed e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things!
We always facilitate global content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions!
Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF.
We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to exploit virally.
We will incentivize the commonly-accepted term "integrated".
cacan webrlog has revolutionized the conceptualization of re-sizing.
The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not enterprise.
We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our holistic, one-to-one TQC but our capability to engage.
Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and AJAX.
The capacity to streamline compellingly leads to the capacity to utilize seamlessly.
What does it really mean to disintermediate "holistically"?
What does the industry jargon "CAE supervising" really mean?
Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling.
The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not blog-based.
Without well-chosen media sourcing, e-business, intuitive, viral, six-sigma dot-com versioning are forced to become social-network-based.
Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML.