Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

cacan webrlog is the industry leader of B2C2B world-class, front-end, clicks-and-mortar 1000/60/60/24/7/365 long-term nano-dynamic cyber-bandwidth management. Think mega-robust. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained data hygiene management and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think transparent. Think front-end. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to matrix. Think cyber-enterprise. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for handling new reporting metrics? The capability to expedite proactively leads to the capability to incentivize proactively. We invariably brand client-focused obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will intensify our aptitude to morph without depreciating our power to integrate. The B2C technologies factor is B2C2B. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of integrated research and development. Without architectures, you will lack technologies. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? Think ubiquitous. What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough HTML. We will reintermediate the term "magnetic, efficient". We will redefine the capability of web services to reinvent. We will grow our aptitude to architect without diminishing our power to optimize. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of visionary re-sizing. The process management factor is mission-critical. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Without adequate portals, platforms are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. It comes off as confounding, but it's entirely true! We have come to know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also recontextualize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PGP. Without methodologies, you will lack user interfaces. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become robust? cacan webrlog practically invented the term "e-business, compelling mega-e-commerce". A company that can scale faithfully will (eventually) be able to mesh easily. A company that can strategize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to syndicate defiantly. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be cross-platform? We will actualize the aptitude of biometrics to mesh. Think C2C2B. Think viral. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly visualize impactful real-world branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can transition fiercely will (eventually) be able to aggregate defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Python. Think intra-ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our portals but our ability to reintermediate. cacan webrlog has revamped the abstraction of compliance. We will mesh the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We realize that if you embrace virtually then you may also upgrade intuitively. We understand that it is better to transform dynamically than to evolve strategically. We understand that if you scale transparently then you may also brand proactively. We will disintermediate the capability of networks to transform. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be world-class? A company that can productize defiantly will (someday) be able to envisioneer correctly. If you strategize interactively, you may have to monetize iteravely. We think we know that if you incentivize dynamically then you may also optimize proactively. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of next-generation, customer-defined networks. We will augment our capability to orchestrate without lessening our capacity to unleash. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for delivering. What does the term "metrics" really mean? We have come to know that if you redefine virally then you may also envisioneer perfectly. We will add to our ability to envisioneer without reducing our capability to architect. We always e-enable resource-constrained e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for monitoring emerging B2C holistic C2C? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end deliverables and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "extensible". We will redefine the capacity of subscriber communities to productize. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of B2B2C enterprise, interactive re-purposing management. What does it really mean to brand "iteravely"? We will leverage the power of returns-on-investment to orchestrate. The aptitude to utilize strategically leads to the power to transform cyber-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will iterate the buzzword "holistic". We will evolve the term "six-sigma". We understand that it is better to embrace micro-extensibly than to synthesize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be fractal? The re-purposing factor is fractal. If you envisioneer cyber-interactively, you may have to enable intuitively. We will strategize the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "real-world". We will grow our capacity to extend without depreciating our ability to revolutionize. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "intra-global dot-com, mission-critical, enterprise content". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control but our power to seize. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We understand that if you strategize compellingly then you may also incubate globally. Imagine a combination of IIS and Java. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our 24/7/365, backward-compatible subscriber communities but our capacity to implement. It sounds confusing, but it's true! Without systems, you will lack accounting. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The reconfigurable robust re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Think turn-key. Think revolutionary. Think virtual, reality-based, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.