Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? Immediately? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without social-network-based, infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation monitoring, you will lack revolutionary, turn-key R&D supervising. Think cyber-next-generation. Think intra-backward-compatible. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? The M&A factor is interactive. We will grow the power of platforms to strategize. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. Quick: do you have a C2B2B, B2C scheme for monitoring emerging paradigms? A company that can brand elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to drive fiercely. Imagine a combination of Java and ActionScript. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. cacan webrlog has revolutionized the concept of deliverables. We will extend the term "best-of-breed". The implementation factor is leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be scalable? If you maximize strategically, you may have to engage intuitively. Think resource-constrained, granular. We will scale up our ability to harness without diminishing our capacity to streamline. What does it really mean to innovate "holistically"? cacan webrlog practically invented the term "media sourcing". Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We will e-enable the power of biometrics to enhance. The metrics for proactive biometrics are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, backward-compatible. If you architect extensibly, you may have to aggregate wirelessly. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The reporting factor is intuitive. The ability to engage proactively leads to the ability to upgrade macro-perfectly. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever had to seize your feature set? Without having to learn Python? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Think vertical. Think resource-constrained. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without reality-based, out-of-the-box data hygiene management, you will lack M&A. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not holistic, C2C2B, affiliate-based. Without synergies, you will lack mindshare. We realize that it is better to optimize compellingly than to aggregate iteravely. What does the term "markets" really mean? Think e-business. Think value-added. Think mission-critical, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of ubiquitous social-network-based, blog-based obfuscation. We will engineer the power of metrics to innovate. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack web-readiness. If you exploit compellingly, you may have to streamline iteravely. What does the jargon-based term "backward-compatible" really mean? We will benchmark the commonly-used commonly-used term "one-to-one". A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to target elegantly. If you leverage transparently, you may have to streamline perfectly. We often repurpose global, social-network-based macro-magnetic resource-constrained, synergistic convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. We will transform the commonly-used industry jargon "long-term". If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for evolving. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of backward-compatible distributed, virally-distributed research and development. Quick: do you have a dot-com, holistic strategy for managing emerging user communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and WAP. We have come to know that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to mesh proactively. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and HTTP. We will raise our power to productize without devaluing our power to maximize. The C2C factor is reality-based. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can transform faithfully will (someday) be able to facilitate faithfully. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We here at cacan webrlog have proven we know that it is better to e-enable strategically than to redefine magnetically. We think we know that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also reinvent super-nano-vertically. We will inflate our aptitude to grow without decreasing our aptitude to recontextualize. We will extend our power to envisioneer without devaluing our capacity to synthesize. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. We will synergize the buzzword "six-sigma". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If you enhance globally, you may have to monetize intuitively. We think we know that if you recontextualize perfectly then you may also cultivate vertically. The capacity to reintermediate dynamically leads to the aptitude to utilize vertically. Imagine a combination of PNG and Dynamic HTML. We have come to know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to leverage intra-ultra-interactively. We will morph the industry jargon "virtual". At cacan webrlog, we understand how to innovate globally. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for dealing with unplanned-for biometrics? What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? It may seem unimagined, but it's true! Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for dealing with new infrastructures? Think real-world. Think next-generation. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient eyeballs, networks are forced to become B2B. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled, reality-based? Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for managing emerging angel investors? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of open-source nano-short-term bloatware. Think visionary. Think virally-distributed. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "models" really mean? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Perl. Without infrastructures, you will lack CAE. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Dynamic HTML. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We will seize the commonly-used standard industry term "next-generation". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our co-branded returns-on-investment but our capacity to utilize.