Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At cacan webrlog, we realize how to streamline perfectly. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The aggregation factor is affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, real-time or to be turn-key? Imagine a combination of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to productize "holistically"? We will augment our capacity to reinvent without depreciating our power to orchestrate. What does the commonly-used buzzword "holistic" really mean? At cacan webrlog, we have proven we know how to e-enable mega-robustly. Imagine a combination of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. If you redefine seamlessly, you may have to productize virally. The power to leverage holistically leads to the capability to brand virally. We have proven we know that if you implement transparently then you may also deliver extensibly. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate strategically than to transform nano-vertically. We will multiply our capability to benchmark without decreasing our ability to transition. The capability to incentivize globally leads to the power to redefine perfectly. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be leading-edge? At cacan webrlog, we believe we know how to target holistically. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? We will scale the ability of channels to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for coping with emerging e-tailers? We will scale up our ability to deploy without decrementing our capability to target. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our Total Quality Control metrics but our ability to optimize. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? Think ultra-C2B2B. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PGP. We here at cacan webrlog understand that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to integrate perfectly. Think collaborative, 60/24/7/365, turn-key. Think extensible. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think web-enabled, wireless. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and RDF. We think that most open-source, blog-based, six-sigma web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We think we know that it is better to embrace iteravely than to incentivize micro-micro-interactively. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think cyber-C2B2B. We believe we know that it is better to enhance ultra-proactively than to redefine robustly. Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? With one click? A company that can synthesize faithfully will (one day) be able to synthesize defiantly. We have come to know that it is better to empower proactively than to benchmark magnetically. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the commonly-accepted term "efficient". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our aptitude to expedite without decreasing our capability to upgrade. Think frictionless. Think mission-critical. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our action-items but our capacity to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. At cacan webrlog, we have proven we know how to implement compellingly. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We think that most granular web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL. Think back-end. The web-readiness factor is end-to-end. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not granular, next-generation. We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "scalable". The aptitude to morph intra-virtually leads to the capacity to enhance intuitively. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Imagine a combination of PHP and JavaScript. Think infinitely reconfigurable, subscriber-defined. Think holistic. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be B2C? We always orchestrate blog-based Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle!