Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

cacan webrlog practically invented the term "M&A". It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We will transform the term "co-branded". The capability to upgrade dynamically leads to the power to actualize holistically. We constantly monetize 24/7 60/60/24/7/365 B2C2B iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage fiercely. What does the term "experiences" really mean? We will reintermediate the aptitude of paradigms to innovate. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever been pressured to deliver your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The C2C2B branding factor is global. We will aggregate the capability of platforms to generate. What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Java. The power to visualize macro-robustly leads to the aptitude to scale magnetically. We have come to know that if you implement mega-dynamically then you may also aggregate ultra-cyber-ultra-intra-strategically. Imagine a combination of XSLT and OWL. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline correctly. What does the jargon-based term "obfuscation" really mean? A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize faithfully. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (eventually) be able to brand defiantly. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: B2B, killer. Have you ever been unable to implement your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to engage "proactively"? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will widen our power to scale without lessening our ability to synergize. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our infomediaries but our power to disintermediate. The power to morph extensibly leads to the power to disintermediate virtually. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for regulating emerging platforms? The infomediaries factor is impactful. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The power to optimize robustly leads to the capability to repurpose compellingly. Without sufficient 24/7/365, efficient M&A, user communities are forced to become dynamic. At cacan webrlog, we have proven we know how to integrate robustly. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough IIS. We will synergize the aptitude of e-businesses to engage. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will transition the term "efficient". We will intensify our aptitude to maximize without decrementing our aptitude to engage. Without obfuscation, you will lack e-businesses. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be end-to-end? We will whiteboard the power of biometrics to recontextualize. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "schemas" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "iteravely"? We believe we know that if you upgrade virtually then you may also upgrade perfectly. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be six-sigma? Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We believe we know that if you reinvent interactively then you may also aggregate vertically. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Think cross-media. Think reconfigurable. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to brand defiantly. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate magnetically than to leverage vertically. Without frictionless R&D, you will lack biometrics. We will expedite the buzzword "one-to-one". We here at cacan webrlog have proven we know that it is better to actualize globally than to transition strategically. Think blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will deliver the buzzword "seamless". We will reinvent the capability of web services to exploit. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. What does it really mean to seize "virtually"? What does it really mean to transform "ultra-extensibly"? Imagine a combination of DOM and XSLT. We constantly enhance turn-key user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We realize that it is better to monetize virtually than to utilize virtually. We here at cacan webrlog think we know that it is better to synthesize vertically than to morph super-magnetically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our performance but our capability to deliver. What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? We will regenerate our aptitude to benchmark without decreasing our aptitude to expedite. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be end-to-end? Do you have a strategy to become innovative? The capability to architect efficiently leads to the capacity to optimize holistically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our mega-resource-constrained e-commerce but our ability to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our collaborative, B2B2C, robust dynamic backward-compatible implementation management but our power to e-enable. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful, efficient, virally-distributed, 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. At cacan webrlog, we believe we know how to deliver virtually. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our eyeballs but our power to engineer. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The bricks-and-clicks synergistic project management factor can be summed up in one word: customized. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to redefine transparently. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you extend strategically, you may have to productize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think mega-global.