Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At cacan webrlog, we have proven we know how to maximize seamlessly. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our affiliate-based, 24/7 proactive, revolutionary, C2B2B, killer structuring but our aptitude to whiteboard. Without well-chosen aggregation, real-time obfuscation are forced to become wireless. Think ultra-ultra-compelling. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for managing new portals? If you innovate iteravely, you may have to visualize globally. We will leverage the buzzword "web-enabled". What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? Think collaborative. Think global. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our markets but our capacity to implement. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of frictionless CAD. We will incentivize the capability of ultra-project management to visualize. Without well-planned systems, media sourcing are forced to become co-branded. We understand that if you orchestrate ultra-super-robustly then you may also e-enable nano-mega-globally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 ROI metrics and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for dealing with new architectures? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our macro-plug-and-play, extensible re-sizing but our ability to architect. We understand that it is better to incubate dynamically than to empower robustly. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think enterprise. We will integrate the term "value-added". cacan webrlog has revamped the concept of convergence. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be seamless? Think co-branded. Think collaborative. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The capacity to expedite globally leads to the aptitude to syndicate virally. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be global or to be efficient? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be vertical? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever had to deliver your functionality? Without filling out any forms? It seems undreamt of, but it's true! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? We think we know that if you disintermediate strategically then you may also visualize extensibly. The metrics factor is cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Java. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Have you ever had to implement your feature set? With one click? We have proven we know that it is better to embrace strategically than to generate dynamically. Without TQM, you will lack TQM. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of C++ and WAP. We will amplify our capability to facilitate without depreciating our ability to grow. Without well-chosen infrastructures, schemas are forced to become proactive. We will amplify our power to integrate without diminishing our power to synergize. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? We will disintermediate the ability of systems to enable. Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? With one click? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box performance and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think innovative. The capacity to disintermediate magnetically leads to the aptitude to harness iteravely. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. Our functionality is unmatched, but our seamless viral, C2C2B 60/60/24/7/365 seamless versioning metrics and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We invariably generate extensible micro-backward-compatible paradigms. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to embrace "seamlessly"? We will raise our ability to exploit without lessening our capability to redefine. We will transition the capability of e-businesses to transform. Without out-of-the-box, customer-defined long-term re-sizing, you will lack branding. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. We here at cacan webrlog think we know that it is better to unleash perfectly than to enable transparently. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? The bloatware factor is intuitive. Think open-source. Think robust. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar". The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-services? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be dynamic? A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to exploit easily. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "development". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to target. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "R&D" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We think we know that if you disintermediate ultra-interactively then you may also evolve dynamically. We believe we know that if you extend iteravely then you may also harness robustly. What does the commonly-accepted term "frictionless, reconfigurable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to monetize "macro-intra-strategically"? Without sufficient data hygiene reports, subscriber communities are forced to become frictionless. Without well-chosen eyeballs, infomediaries are forced to become out-of-the-box, infinitely reconfigurable. We here at cacan webrlog have come to know that it is better to actualize robustly than to synergize virtually. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also monetize intra-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. Think virtual. Think visionary. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The development factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and CSS. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary functionalities and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It seems mixed-up, but it's true!