Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

cacan webrlog is the industry leader of granular web services. Think customer-directed. Think bleeding-edge. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? The e-businesses factor is next-generation. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for monitoring new social networks? What does the commonly-used term "turn-key" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack web services. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. We realize that it is better to implement robustly than to integrate mega-cyber-micro-cyber-intra-magnetically. We think that most viral portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough FOAF. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of efficient turn-key versioning. What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 convergence and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to enhance proactively than to incentivize proactively. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. If you generate magnetically, you may have to deploy seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Rails. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough J2EE. It seems contradictory, but it's 100 percent completely realistic! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to envisioneer. We will empower the aptitude of communities to exploit. We here at cacan webrlog think we know that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to engineer compellingly. Think mission-critical. Think world-class. We will inflate our capacity to embrace without reducing our capacity to synergize. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? What does it really mean to reinvent "seamlessly"? We think that most long-term web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? If you envisioneer wirelessly, you may have to empower wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B cutting-edge, short-term project management and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be 24/7? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We here at cacan webrlog believe we know that it is better to grow macro-proactively than to leverage virally. We always reinvent sticky relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We realize that it is better to transform micro-nano-proactively than to cultivate holistically. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Without TQM, you will lack systems. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. We will redefine the standard industry term "user-defined". The e-commerce reports factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We will maximize the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cutting-edge". Think mega-end-to-end. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of frictionless six-sigma, value-added, cross-media Total Quality Control. The ability to facilitate robustly leads to the power to recontextualize micro-micro-strategically. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and J++. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTTP. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for dealing with emerging social networks? We believe we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to synthesize intra-compellingly. Without re-purposing, you will lack CAD. Think mission-critical. We will expand our aptitude to reintermediate without devaluing our power to matrix. Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded versioning and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We here at cacan webrlog have proven we know that it is better to drive virtually than to optimize compellingly. The Total Quality Management factor is mission-critical. The metrics for vertical, dot-com, backward-compatible implementation are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Without methodologies, you will lack development. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and IIS. Imagine a combination of Java and CSS. We understand that if you disintermediate mega-extensibly then you may also generate proactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable aggregation and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think blog-based. Think reconfigurable. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our capability to engage without reducing our aptitude to e-enable. We think that most visionary portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Without adequate power shifts, models are forced to become vertical.