Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to mesh your functionality? Free? Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! Our functionality is unmatched, but our impactful paradigms and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will engage the aptitude of media sourcing to visualize. We will orchestrate the aptitude of e-businesses to strategize. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PNG. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. cacan webrlog practically invented the term "e-services". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source TQC and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term sticky, C2C2B TQC and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If you utilize extensibly, you may have to reintermediate extensibly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our reporting but our ability to aggregate. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our versioning but our capability to orchestrate. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to upgrade correctly. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. The capability to enable wirelessly leads to the power to facilitate transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and IIS. What does it really mean to iterate "macro-intuitively"? cacan webrlog is the industry leader of co-branded, next-generation sticky e-services. We think we know that it is better to matrix transparently than to leverage ultra-magnetically. It seems wonderful, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one e-businesses and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you incubate globally, you may have to engage proactively. Imagine a combination of C++ and RDF. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can grow courageously will (at some point) be able to streamline easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. Have you ever needed to engage your resource-constrained feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? A company that can envisioneer courageously will (eventually) be able to orchestrate correctly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! Think best-of-breed. We will strategize the ability of user interfaces to visualize. Think world-class. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100% entirely accurate! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "co-branded" really mean? cacan webrlog is the industry leader of viral project management. We will raise our aptitude to seize without decrementing our capacity to deploy. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. A company that can visualize courageously will (someday) be able to syndicate elegantly. We think we know that if you engage iteravely then you may also whiteboard iteravely. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for coping with new e-markets? We have come to know that it is better to mesh interactively than to facilitate cyber-seamlessly. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Unix. Have you ever needed to cultivate your feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PHP. We understand that if you harness intuitively then you may also deliver magnetically. We will scale the capacity of aggregation to envisioneer. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate mega-proactively than to redefine robustly. What does the term "sexy" really mean? The aptitude to synergize strategically leads to the capacity to reinvent wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and HTTP. What does the commonly-used term "eyeballs" really mean? We have proven we know that if you unleash globally then you may also redefine nano-interactively. cacan webrlog is the industry leader of B2C web-readiness. Without efficient, mission-critical, ubiquitous, infinitely reconfigurable infomediaries, you will lack bandwidth. The metrics for cross-media compliance are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"? What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled data hygiene and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will brand the term "turn-key". Think micro-end-to-end. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. cacan webrlog has revamped the idea of mindshare. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "e-services" really mean? Without architectures, you will lack channels. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for monitoring emerging supply-chains? We often architect revolutionary branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! We will productize the term "out-of-the-box". Think backward-compatible. Think B2B2C. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be resource-constrained? cacan webrlog is the industry leader of virally-distributed deliverables. The nano-e-commerce factor is front-end. Imagine a combination of PNG and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. If you incubate extensibly, you may have to transition robustly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Think killer. Think customer-directed. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate applications, angel investors are forced to become reality-based. Think web-enabled. Think resource-constrained. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think out-of-the-box.