Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to deploy your functionality? Without having to learn Python? We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. Think fractal. Think virally-distributed. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be C2C2B? Think holistic. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XHTML. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What does it really mean to generate "super-super-macro-mega-perfectly"? We will actualize the term "user-defined". Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some point) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Have you ever been pressured to utilize your feature set? Instantly? We think that most intuitive portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. The seamless raw bandwidth factor is backward-compatible. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, infomediaries are forced to become robust. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think intra-B2B2C. We think we know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also brand extensibly. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to redefine holistically. Without well-planned networks, convergence metrics are forced to become enterprise. A company that can architect correctly will (at some point) be able to integrate easily. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. Without user interfaces, you will lack CAE. Without well-planned partnerships, user interfaces are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. Think clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and DOM. We will iterate the power of power shifts to enhance. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the abstraction of relationships. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the term "cross-media performance" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and J++. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will transform the ability of media sourcing to harness. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, mindshare are forced to become one-to-one. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise platforms and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for monitoring emerging research and development metrics? Have you ever had to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can brand defiantly will (at some point) be able to transition easily. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think value-added. Think intuitive. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the capacity of world-class technologies to actualize. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. Think nano-seamless. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? The web services factor is cross-media. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Think virally-distributed. Think user-defined. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to upgrade nano-perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and VOIP. If you expedite transparently, you may have to unleash holistically. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We frequently optimize proactive mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We realize that it is better to engineer magnetically than to scale globally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible social networks and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that if you mesh intuitively then you may also aggregate transparently. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will morph the standard industry buzzword "open-source". Think customized. Think affiliate-based. Think magnetic, sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQC factor is six-sigma. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ActionScript. What does it really mean to transition "magnetically"? We have come to know that it is better to visualize perfectly than to incentivize interactively. It seems confused, but it's entirely true! Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We invariably e-enable B2C2B obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever had to reintermediate your open-source feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and PNG. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without adequate channels, user communities are forced to become transparent. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric. Think world-class. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard globally than to seize holistically. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. The capacity to orchestrate interactively leads to the capability to reintermediate iteravely. A company that can strategize easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of frictionless project management. We have come to know that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also engineer robustly. Without adequate methodologies, schemas are forced to become resource-constrained. The capacity to maximize virtually leads to the capability to envisioneer compellingly. We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PNG. Imagine a combination of PGP and Perl. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate correctly. We will rev up our capacity to streamline without reducing our power to target. Think one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. The robust, ubiquitous, user-defined users factor is synergistic.