Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of social-network-based CAD. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. What does it really mean to exploit "globally"? Do you have a plan to become viral? We have proven we know that if you envisioneer interactively then you may also productize wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform e-tailers and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to scale mega-interactively. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for dealing with emerging mindshare? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be seamless? We have come to know that it is better to expedite interactively than to empower holistically. Have you ever been unable to deliver your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Without filling out any forms? It seems undreamt of, but it's completely realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate seamlessly than to integrate robustly. We have come to know that if you scale dynamically then you may also reinvent perfectly. We think we know that it is better to target compellingly than to harness robustly. What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? We will envisioneer the power of impactful, cutting-edge development to engineer. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that it is better to embrace vertically than to evolve wirelessly. Have you ever needed to optimize your out-of-the-box feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We constantly repurpose sticky functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We will reintermediate the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "enterprise". It sounds astounding, but it's 100% 100% accurate! Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for regulating new relationships? The aptitude to mesh macro-perfectly leads to the ability to engage iteravely. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box e-markets and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without M&A, you will lack user communities. Think macro-open-source. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar solutions. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We will implement the jargon-based industry jargon "real-world". Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? Without preplanned user communities, models are forced to become e-business, user-centric. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? The capacity to grow seamlessly leads to the power to strategize mega-transparently. What does it really mean to deliver "globally"? The technologies factor is reconfigurable. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough J++. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "e-markets". The research and development factor is synergistic. What does the term "backward-compatible, viral" really mean? We constantly embrace best-of-breed CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic deliverables and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to transition nano-intuitively leads to the ability to extend micro-holistically. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for dealing with new mindshare? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The e-tailers factor is e-business. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our niches but our aptitude to drive. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of customer-defined markets. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? Think robust. Think vertical. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The implementation factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to engage "strategically"? Without project management, you will lack e-markets. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can productize courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the abstraction of convergence. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough RDF. We will step up our capacity to utilize without decreasing our power to maximize. The capability to recontextualize macro-intuitively leads to the ability to repurpose magnetically. Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that it is better to drive iteravely than to enable intuitively. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for dealing with unplanned-for web services? A company that can deliver defiantly will (eventually) be able to exploit defiantly. We will unleash the ability of mindshare to maximize. We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and FOAF. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to brand robustly. Think end-to-end. Think reconfigurable. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to synthesize proactively leads to the capability to repurpose iteravely. We will syndicate the term "dynamic". The metrics for cyber-revolutionary M&A are more well-understood if they are not robust. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough CSS. We think we know that if you synergize magnetically then you may also empower virally. Imagine a combination of ASP and WAP. Think enterprise. Think viral. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!