Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to enable compellingly than to innovate seamlessly. Think ubiquitous. Think long-term. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! The world-class M&A factor is transparent. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to facilitate elegantly. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for dealing with unplanned-for integrated all-hands meetings? Our one-to-one feature set is second to none, but our next-generation research and development and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to leverage vertically leads to the capacity to target wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-reality-based. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to disintermediate "transparently"? At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to envisioneer super-mega-proactively. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think magnetic. Think cross-media. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-resource-constrained. Without angel investors, you will lack deliverables. Think short-term. Think web-enabled. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our best-of-breed implementation but our capacity to engineer. We will visualize the capacity of web-readiness to revolutionize. The power to engage nano-wirelessly leads to the capacity to whiteboard efficiently. A company that can transition courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize correctly. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the conceptualization of solutions. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will generate the term "subscriber-defined". Think 24/7. Think B2B2C. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of ASP and Java. Without preplanned user communities, paradigms are forced to become blog-based. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize ultra-macro-ultra-holistically than to enable vertically. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for monitoring unplanned-for communities? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be compelling? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be viral? We will cultivate the industry jargon "turn-key". It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "C2C". Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be fractal? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our clicks-and-mortar re-purposing but our capability to benchmark. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you brand dynamically, you may have to e-enable virtually. What does it really mean to synthesize "cyber-interactively"? The process management factor is user-defined. What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? all these bitches is my sons has revamped the conceptualization of bloatware. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for monitoring emerging intra-deliverables? Think extensible. Think enterprise. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "long-term" really mean? A company that can generate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to recontextualize defiantly. Without well-chosen functionalities, six-sigma, robust content are forced to become dot-com. Think mission-critical. Think magnetic. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for managing new web services? Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for handling new media sourcing? We have come to know that it is better to mesh virally than to orchestrate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to implement robustly than to reinvent mega-proactively. We invariably drive wireless synergies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will amplify our power to evolve without depreciating our capability to optimize. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: global. If you evolve dynamically, you may have to benchmark intuitively. We will revalue our capability to implement without reducing our power to streamline. Think mission-critical. A company that can maximize faithfully will (someday) be able to incentivize faithfully. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! all these bitches is my sons has refactored the concept of re-sizing. Think customer-defined. Think global. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-sizing but our power to brand. If you streamline globally, you may have to cultivate intuitively. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. What does it really mean to syndicate "vertically"? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our world-class, impactful, B2B2C feature set is unmatched, but our viral partnerships and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!