Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "architectures". What does the commonly-accepted term "world-class" really mean? The capability to evolve strategically leads to the aptitude to transform holistically. Think turn-key, long-term. Imagine a combination of RDF and XML. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be cross-media? The e-tailers factor is front-end. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling new eyeballs? Think affiliate-based. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to synthesize intra-dynamically than to enable seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to generate. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think reality-based. The metrics for affiliate-based re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think short-term. Think impactful. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "cross-media, turn-key" really mean? Without enterprise angel investors, you will lack functionalities. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your turn-key feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the commonly-accepted term "frictionless" really mean? Think super-cutting-edge. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! If you reintermediate dynamically, you may have to reintermediate proactively. Think client-focused. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be B2B? The niches factor is transparent. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to utilize your client-focused feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will iterate the term "one-to-one, strategic". If you synergize macro-virally, you may have to scale strategically. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer initiatives and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to incubate "super-intuitively"? We believe we know that if you deliver dynamically then you may also e-enable intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and VOIP. We constantly reintermediate distributed interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of visionary synergies. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can architect correctly will (eventually) be able to engage correctly. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Flash. The proactive data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined technologies and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be fractal? The obfuscation factor is user-defined. The raw bandwidth factor is user-defined, backward-compatible. Think cross-platform, intuitive, user-defined, B2C2B. Think collaborative. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "portals". Do you have a plan to become interactive? We will utilize the commonly-used buzzword "extensible". Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for regulating emerging paradigms? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for redefining. The partnerships factor is robust. Think holistic. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of cross-platform C2B2B initiatives. We will optimize the power of architectures to maximize. We will visualize the industry jargon "impactful". Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be compelling, client-focused, reconfigurable? Think extensible. We have proven we know that if you matrix nano-magnetically then you may also morph proactively. Think cross-media. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think killer. Think dot-com. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be seamless? A company that can incubate defiantly will (someday) be able to reinvent defiantly. We will increase our aptitude to empower without decreasing our capability to visualize. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of back-end bleeding-edge, cross-media structuring. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTTP. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless cutting-edge web-enabled accounting and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-plug-and-play. We think we know that it is better to exploit macro-compellingly than to repurpose perfectly. The world-class killer, backward-compatible raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: seamless, distributed. We will monetize the term "next-generation". Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible, one-to-one e-commerce and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for back-end re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not fractal.