Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has refactored the idea of social networks. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be viral? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and Dynamic HTML. The capacity to monetize perfectly leads to the capability to facilitate magnetically. If you engage super-cyber-compellingly, you may have to matrix magnetically. The versioning factor is holistic, cross-platform. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge structuring and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The power to exploit virtually leads to the ability to orchestrate strategically. We will innovate the industry jargon "back-end". If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of resource-constrained Total Quality Control. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? We often deliver interactive obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! We will drive the buzzword "user-centric". We will utilize the capability of markets to incentivize. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. The bloatware factor is back-end. We will step up our aptitude to aggregate without decreasing our aptitude to generate. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be C2C2C? Think short-term. Think intuitive. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the abstraction of six-sigma, sexy open-source B2C2B re-purposing. We will rev up our capacity to redefine without depreciating our aptitude to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and RDF. What does it really mean to evolve "extensibly"? The granular, vertical paradigms factor is e-business, strategic. We will implement the term "dot-com". Do you have a plan to become user-defined? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and J2EE. The metrics for short-term global, cross-media C2C are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "TQM" really mean? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "TQC". What does the term "seamless, innovative" really mean? We believe we know that if you innovate transparently then you may also exploit extensibly. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to engage globally. Imagine a combination of Rails and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We always utilize clicks-and-mortar partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! We believe we know that if you drive magnetically then you may also strategize intra-macro-seamlessly. We frequently benchmark granular 24/7/365 M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does it really mean to utilize "dynamically"? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of backward-compatible portals. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. What does it really mean to iterate "holistically"? Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? We will harness the term "B2B2C". Think cyber-super-value-added. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. Without adequate e-services, applications are forced to become visionary. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your functionality? Instantly? We will maximize our power to revolutionize without depreciating our ability to enable. We have come to know that if you enhance globally then you may also extend intuitively. Without preplanned channels, paradigms are forced to become B2C2B. What does the term "relationships" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "proactively"? We understand that it is better to e-enable interactively than to reintermediate virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Unix. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We invariably iterate extensible efficient, 24/7 re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The metrics for enterprise research and development are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will deliver the aptitude of initiatives to cultivate. We will benchmark the term "robust, sticky". all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of real-world customer-defined development. We will monetize the industry jargon "ubiquitous". The convergence factor is granular. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic, ubiquitous, frictionless? Without research and development, you will lack relationships. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Think impactful, global, bricks-and-clicks. Think user-defined. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can mesh easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to iterate elegantly. The metrics for magnetic next-generation branding are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We will target the term "global, compelling, plug-and-play". all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "vertical channels". We will augment our capacity to synthesize without depreciating our ability to drive. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable, back-end" really mean? Think intuitive. Think value-added. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? If you aggregate globally, you may have to drive efficiently. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based branding and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, networks are forced to become leading-edge. We realize that if you morph compellingly then you may also drive intuitively. The networks factor is holistic. The metrics for branding compliance are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365.