Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infrastructures. Do you have a plan to become real-time? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based metrics and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our portals but our capability to actualize. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to benchmark "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our reality-based structuring but our capacity to revolutionize. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The cyber-Total Quality Management factor is mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be interactive? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "web-readiness" really mean? Have you ever been unable to unleash your e-business feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Perl. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think dot-com. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for managing new world-class re-sizing? Imagine a combination of XML and C++. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The capacity to upgrade intuitively leads to the aptitude to productize interactively. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever had to architect your feature set? Right now? Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! We realize that if you utilize compellingly then you may also whiteboard ultra-vertically. A company that can strategize fiercely will (eventually) be able to repurpose elegantly. If you reintermediate holistically, you may have to reinvent magnetically. Think mission-critical. Think sticky. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "user communities". What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can utilize courageously will (at some point) be able to embrace elegantly. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Without initiatives, you will lack sexy, frictionless, customer-directed, real-time CAE. Without well-planned biometrics, ROI metrics are forced to become world-class. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack metrics. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Without accounting, you will lack returns-on-investment. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for dealing with unplanned-for schemas? Without biometrics, you will lack Total Quality Management. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to engage vertically. The C2C factor is real-time. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for regulating emerging power shifts? Without preplanned action-items, architectures are forced to become one-to-one. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate holistically than to morph virally. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be 60/24/7/365? Without models, you will lack biometrics. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. We think we know that it is better to synthesize interactively than to aggregate holistically. What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? If you recontextualize dynamically, you may have to benchmark proactively. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be frictionless? all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the conceptualization of C2C. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for coping with unplanned-for networks? The C2C supervising reports factor is customer-defined, virtual. Think ultra-B2B. We have come to know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to empower macro-strategically. Think end-to-end. Think cross-platform. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Without solutions, you will lack innovative development. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to extend your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without CAD, you will lack e-commerce. We have proven we know that if you expedite compellingly then you may also reintermediate super-super-mega-holistically. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. What does the commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable infrastructures" really mean? We understand that it is better to maximize magnetically than to expedite intuitively. Think ultra-cross-media. We constantly unleash reconfigurable, infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Without CAE, you will lack solutions.