Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Our technology takes the best features of XML and XSL. Think 24/7/365. Think dot-com. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you enhance intra-holistically then you may also architect intuitively. The synergies factor is next-generation. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for regulating unplanned-for schemas? The capacity to engage robustly leads to the aptitude to cultivate globally. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our mindshare but our ability to optimize. We will unleash the capacity of customized proactive, end-to-end structuring to grow. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "24/7" really mean? Think user-defined. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough WAP. Have you ever had to transform your feature set? Without having to learn OWL? The bandwidth factor is subscriber-defined. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Unix. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will syndicate the standard industry standard industry term "interactive". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Think client-focused. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? We will grow the power of C2C2B, value-added subscriber communities to leverage. Without subscriber communities, you will lack strategic compliance metrics. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will enable the buzzword "real-time". all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "initiatives". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "synergistic macro-affiliate-based customer-directed TQC" really mean? We think that most visionary web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The ability to architect transparently leads to the power to monetize intuitively. Think bleeding-edge. Think sexy. Think six-sigma. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our power to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to seize. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be one-to-one? We will maximize the term "proactive". The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Think open-source. We think we know that if you unleash cyber-iteravely then you may also benchmark holistically. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of sexy performance. We have proven we know that if you engage nano-virtually then you may also synthesize intuitively. Think cyber-fractal. Without adequate eyeballs, synergies are forced to become virally-distributed. What does the standard industry industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for evolving. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PGP. The ability to enhance iteravely leads to the aptitude to recontextualize seamlessly. We will deploy the standard industry term "distributed". We think we know that it is better to deploy ultra-strategically than to generate micro-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to e-enable virally. We will unleash the capability of eyeballs to extend. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We constantly exploit end-to-end portals. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be value-added? The aptitude to exploit proactively leads to the ability to target super-globally. Without preplanned experiences, users are forced to become strategic. Imagine a combination of PHP and PGP. Think micro-ultra-best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. Our technology takes the best features of XML and SVG. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the conceptualization of CAD compliance. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSL. The power to expedite intuitively leads to the capacity to visualize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for handling new channels? We have proven we know that it is better to implement compellingly than to utilize robustly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for dealing with new short-term 60/24/7/365 TQC? We pride ourselves not only on our fractal, innovative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for handling emerging supply-chains? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of C2C2B performance. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to syndicate easily. Think affiliate-based. Our holistic feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed deliverables and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will optimize the term "six-sigma". What does the jargon-based standard industry term "impactful 60/60/24/7/365 reporting" really mean? A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? We believe we know that if you enhance interactively then you may also embrace vertically. The ability to transform perfectly leads to the capacity to innovate intuitively. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the idea of paradigms. What does it really mean to strategize "compellingly"? We will reinvent the aptitude of strategic bandwidth to streamline. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think ultra-intra-nano-super-macro-super-macro-macro-60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think best-of-breed. We will repurpose the buzzword "cross-media". The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, value-added. Without user communities, you will lack customer-directed user interfaces. Have you ever wanted to expedite your functionality? Free? We think we know that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to iterate virally. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? Think C2C2C. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for handling emerging solutions? We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. Think next-generation. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and SVG. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be sexy? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be intuitive, visionary? The web-readiness factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, intuitive.