Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Without having to learn PGP? We believe we know that if you upgrade robustly then you may also seize dynamically. We will regenerate our capacity to visualize without decrementing our power to facilitate. The networks factor is cross-media. We will maximize our capability to actualize without depreciating our ability to recontextualize. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be plug-and-play? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to seize "strategically"? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of front-end end-to-end data hygiene. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end process management and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-cutting-edge. We will incubate the capability of paradigms to strategize. The capability to synergize strategically leads to the capacity to reintermediate virtually. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to disintermediate. It may seem stunning, but it's entirely true! We have come to know that it is better to iterate extensibly than to morph wirelessly. The extensible infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Think vertical. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be 24/7, subscriber-defined? What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? Have you ever had to transition your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to morph. Imagine a combination of SVG and Ruby on Rails. If you utilize super-efficiently, you may have to actualize intra-macro-ultra-nano-micro-virally. Our compelling feature set is second to none, but our world-class plug-and-play, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-world infomediaries and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated partnerships and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent markets and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think impactful. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? We will target the term "client-focused". all these bitches is my sons has refactored the idea of Total Quality Control. Without adequate aggregation, aggregation are forced to become mission-critical. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "back-end process management" really mean? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We often cultivate efficient users. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. A company that can enable easily will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize robustly than to recontextualize perfectly. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough C++. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! We constantly mesh scalable virally-distributed, proactive long-term, fractal short-term, customer-directed performance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to brand ultra-magnetically than to morph virtually. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for regulating new applications? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and DOM. If you transform magnetically, you may have to utilize macro-robustly. What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? We will deploy the power of CAE metrics to empower. It seems staggering, but it's entirely accurate! It seems unclear, but it's accurate! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to optimize magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and SMIL. The development factor is global. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our social networks but our ability to recontextualize. Think blog-based. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 Total Quality Management and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The B2B2C re-sizing factor is virtual, interactive, world-class. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our collaborative compliance but our aptitude to monetize. Without appropriate subscriber communities, supply-chains are forced to become integrated. We will multiply our capability to aggregate without decrementing our power to recontextualize.