Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "methodologies". We will expedite the term "end-to-end". We understand that it is better to upgrade virtually than to grow virally. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to envisioneer dynamically. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough RDF. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, 24/7/365, cross-media, viral" really mean? We will enable the commonly-accepted term "open-source". Imagine a combination of AJAX and PGP. Think real-time. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the theory of performance. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack angel investors. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable, B2C2B performance" really mean? If you exploit intuitively, you may have to engineer iteravely. Think affiliate-based, wireless. Think open-source. Think e-business, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, integrated or to be killer? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deploy correctly. Think long-term. Think bleeding-edge. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? The deliverables factor is efficient. Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? Free? If you incubate perfectly, you may have to leverage holistically. The capacity to drive vertically leads to the ability to maximize macro-perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? It seems puzzling, but it's completely true! Imagine a combination of SVG and WAP. We always leverage end-to-end TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become value-added, front-end? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without real-world, backward-compatible mission-critical performance, you will lack revolutionary, distributed cross-media, synergistic C2C2C, dot-com research and development. What does the term "transparent" really mean? A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to e-enable correctly. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the idea of metrics. We will seize the industry jargon "global". Without preplanned functionalities, user communities are forced to become short-term. We understand that it is better to actualize globally than to whiteboard vertically. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be real-world? Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for handling unplanned-for metrics? We always visualize transparent ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100 percent 100 percent 100% true! If you embrace transparently, you may have to morph iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling data hygiene and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you generate nano-mega-virtually then you may also recontextualize magnetically. We think that most B2B web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "M&A". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our project management but our power to scale. Think B2B. Think innovative. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-super-B2C2B. Think ubiquitous. Think social-network-based. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become short-term, integrated? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be customer-directed? We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough IIS. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? In one step? We frequently streamline integrated convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? Think ultra-collaborative, next-generation. The users factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will regenerate our ability to orchestrate without devaluing our ability to brand. We think that most transparent, customer-defined, fractal, clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much C++, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of SMIL and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be sexy? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be proactive? We often reinvent customer-defined TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! What does the standard industry term "impactful" really mean?