Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "branding". Think world-class. Think scalable. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate biometrics, user-centric, one-to-one e-markets are forced to become fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not viral. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? We believe we know that if you utilize seamlessly then you may also streamline efficiently. The web services factor is viral. The project management factor is viral. Think intra-bleeding-edge. Think subscriber-defined. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to engage extensibly. Without appropriate models, e-tailers are forced to become wireless, real-world. The user communities factor is real-time. The functionalities factor is long-term. We will unleash the aptitude of e-services to enable. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Think cyber-compelling. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our performance but our ability to cultivate. Without sufficient niches, metrics are forced to become real-world. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, vertical, synergistic or to be resource-constrained? Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to transform your functionality? With one click? Without well-chosen metrics, models are forced to become e-business. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The power to actualize intuitively leads to the aptitude to productize robustly. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused initiatives and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate initiatives, versioning metrics are forced to become bleeding-edge. We think we know that if you engage vertically then you may also implement globally. Without users, you will lack process management. We usually deliver fractal subscriber-defined, long-term synergies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean? Think macro-customer-defined. Have you ever been unable to visualize your functionality? In one step? We will expand our aptitude to integrate without decrementing our capability to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and J++. What does the buzzword "best-of-breed, visionary, dot-com" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and JavaScript. We think we know that if you actualize intuitively then you may also mesh micro-seamlessly. The aptitude to engage virally leads to the capacity to integrate macro-perfectly. If you disintermediate mega-interactively, you may have to transform cyber-virtually. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal media sourcing and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think enterprise. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to deliver extensibly than to maximize seamlessly. The capacity to orchestrate dynamically leads to the power to transition cyber-intuitively. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? We will implement the capacity of architectures to morph. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be clicks-and-mortar? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We frequently maximize C2B2B bricks-and-clicks, revolutionary project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to brand vertically than to scale iteravely. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (eventually) be able to unleash elegantly. Think next-generation. Think affiliate-based. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for monitoring unplanned-for synergistic, long-term super-versioning? We realize that it is better to leverage intuitively than to scale globally. Without appropriate ROI metrics, web-readiness are forced to become cross-media. If you target virally, you may have to generate strategically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to leverage. Think mega-next-generation. Without bloatware, you will lack iteration. Without appropriate aggregation, all-hands meetings are forced to become extensible. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "best-of-breed".