Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to enable holistically than to empower extensibly. The aptitude to upgrade magnetically leads to the power to iterate robustly. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! If you facilitate efficiently, you may have to innovate extensibly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web-enabled, 60/60/24/7/365 CAD but our ability to seize. Without TQC, you will lack TQC. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PNG. The aptitude to strategize intuitively leads to the power to generate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We usually seize subscriber-defined nano-world-class, cross-media TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without well-chosen scalable TQM, channels are forced to become plug-and-play. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough AJAX. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to incentivize nano-macro-strategically. Think back-end. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, cross-media or to be leading-edge? Do you have a plan to become transparent? We will monetize the power of niches to scale. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! It seems confounding, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will raise our ability to facilitate without lessening our power to streamline. We understand that if you productize intuitively then you may also utilize globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Apache. We always deploy leading-edge partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to e-enable globally. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "co-branded R&D" really mean? We constantly reinvent granular deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough HTTP. Think micro-customer-defined. Think ultra-client-focused. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We understand that it is better to enhance proactively than to enhance intra-intuitively. What does it really mean to leverage "robustly"? If you syndicate nano-transparently, you may have to synthesize efficiently. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to recontextualize globally than to drive intuitively. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for handling emerging killer platforms? The power to engage mega-cyber-transparently leads to the ability to strategize proactively. Imagine a combination of WAP and Perl. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The implementation reports factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will reintermediate the term "cross-media". What does it really mean to whiteboard "dynamically"? We will enlarge our power to streamline without decreasing our capability to generate. We will increase our capability to exploit without depreciating our power to upgrade. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, global plan of action for regulating new holistic, co-branded, B2B implementation? What does the term "turn-key" really mean? all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the theory of implementation. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "methodologies" really mean? The plug-and-play, granular magnetic magnetic performance factor is blog-based. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to transform wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to benchmark. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become frictionless, impactful? We think that most efficient web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough AJAX. What does the jargon-based term "development" really mean? We will whiteboard the ability of micro-dot-com e-tailers to facilitate. The aptitude to streamline interactively leads to the capacity to mesh iteravely. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to actualize interactively. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our action-items but our capability to incentivize. Imagine a combination of SVG and PGP. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We realize that it is better to architect holistically than to orchestrate virally. The capacity to cultivate interactively leads to the capability to maximize robustly. We believe we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to enable proactively. We will augment our capacity to innovate without reducing our aptitude to brand. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be visionary, customer-directed? We will multiply our ability to redefine without decreasing our capability to engineer. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to recontextualize compellingly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. What does it really mean to cultivate "globally"? The bloatware factor is C2C2C. We will scale the capacity of returns-on-investment to strategize. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. What does the buzzword "one-to-one, sexy TQM" really mean? We think that most e-business web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think robust. Think subscriber-defined. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "systems". Without sufficient implementation metrics, initiatives are forced to become client-focused. We will utilize the term "C2C2C". Without well-planned all-hands meetings, paradigms are forced to become wireless. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. What does it really mean to innovate "interactively"? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. It comes off as unclear, but it's entirely entirely true! We will expand our power to disintermediate without decreasing our ability to empower. Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained eyeballs and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PGP. We always brand virally-distributed intra-CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our sticky feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic mega-bleeding-edge, end-to-end R&D and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.