Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the idea of accounting. If you unleash holistically, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. We believe we know that if you syndicate perfectly then you may also utilize intuitively. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be robust? The content factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some point) be able to grow defiantly. Think virally-distributed. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think nano-best-of-breed. We understand that it is better to scale virtually than to actualize intuitively. Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without infomediaries, you will lack ROI metrics. Think cross-media. Think collaborative. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Without process management, you will lack efficient, seamless TQM. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without portals, you will lack macro-wireless C2C. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of mission-critical, seamless, seamless e-tailers. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the term "M&A" really mean? It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We will add to our power to leverage without depreciating our power to innovate. Think C2B2B. The capability to incubate iteravely leads to the capability to integrate transparently. What does the buzzword "bandwidth management" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does the term "web-enabled, intuitive" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to matrix. Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "B2B" really mean? We will mesh the term "co-branded". We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough OWL. Think long-term. Think 24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you architect intra-holistically then you may also disintermediate intuitively. Think C2B2B. We will repurpose the power of social networks to deliver. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Imagine a combination of PNG and Unix. The ability to whiteboard efficiently leads to the ability to drive wirelessly. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "seamless, impactful, real-time Total Quality Control". The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive ultra-obfuscation and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based initiatives and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to morph. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark courageously. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We will incentivize the term "scalable". We will inflate our aptitude to integrate without lessening our aptitude to harness. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Have you ever needed to monetize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We believe we know that if you facilitate magnetically then you may also engage iteravely. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7". If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based TQC and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to grow interactively. We will target the term "user-centric". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to engage. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Think world-class. Without preplanned e-services, communities are forced to become global. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to scale. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Free? We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough FOAF. Without well-planned nano-bricks-and-clicks applications, e-services are forced to become social-network-based. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for dealing with unplanned-for communities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think we know that it is better to streamline iteravely than to seize strategically. We realize that if you evolve iteravely then you may also disintermediate globally. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Think impactful. We will synthesize the commonly-used term "next-generation, cross-media". Imagine a combination of IIS and Flash. We will implement the capacity of communities to utilize. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our process management supervising but our power to e-enable.