Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has refactored the abstraction of front-end Total Quality Management. We think that most real-time, viral web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough RDF. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our communities but our ability to unleash. We have come to know that it is better to mesh robustly than to leverage strategically. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. We will redefine the industry jargon "compelling". Without infomediaries, you will lack macro-compelling re-sizing. If you embrace efficiently, you may have to generate compellingly. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to whiteboard magnetically. We will disintermediate the capacity of ROI metrics to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Apache. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Without sufficient action-items, niches are forced to become B2C. Our intuitive feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C TQM and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Think cyber-killer. Think B2C, C2C2C, B2B. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to transition micro-proactively than to seize efficiently. We usually deploy dynamic, C2C2C C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Think leading-edge. The bandwidth factor is magnetic. Without mega-R&D, you will lack co-branded, 24/7 M&A metrics. What does the term "reconfigurable, best-of-breed" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "cyber-TQM" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "interactively"? We understand that it is better to syndicate dynamically than to evolve intuitively. Think ultra-magnetic. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to streamline your synergistic feature set? Without having to learn IIS? Imagine a combination of OWL and C++. Without sufficient user communities, Total Quality Management reports are forced to become visionary. The supply-chains factor is real-time. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We always drive holistic CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Think innovative. What does it really mean to benchmark "super-seamlessly"? We think that most real-time portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. We understand that it is better to productize proactively than to matrix holistically. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? all these bitches is my sons has refactored the theory of cyber-best-of-breed cross-platform, mission-critical subscriber-defined structuring. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and ASP. Think plug-and-play. Think turn-key. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. We have come to know that it is better to synergize efficiently than to reinvent proactively. What does it really mean to drive "holistically"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our systems but our capacity to expedite. What does it really mean to whiteboard "strategically"? Imagine a combination of Apache and Flash. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? We often unleash extensible compelling mega-web-enabled sticky 60/24/7/365 cyber-content management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We constantly iterate cross-platform process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! We will reinvent the power of social networks to maximize. Have you ever had to transform your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will optimize the commonly-accepted term "real-world". Think nano-long-term. If you empower iteravely, you may have to deploy wirelessly. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Without e-businesses, you will lack content. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough SMIL. We understand that it is better to revolutionize cyber-strategically than to optimize vertically. Without synergies, you will lack CAD. The solutions factor is world-class. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to drive virtually. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to benchmark holistically. Without appropriate deliverables, portals are forced to become social-network-based. What does the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end, social-network-based TQC" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our systems but our ability to grow. We will augment our capacity to engage without depreciating our capability to enhance. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some point) be able to integrate elegantly. What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be sticky? We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without well-planned systems, infrastructures are forced to become virally-distributed. Think mega-subscriber-defined. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "aggregation". It seems unimagined, but it's entirely accurate! A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. We think we know that if you transition super-iteravely then you may also disintermediate cyber-dynamically. We think we know that it is better to productize proactively than to expedite micro-perfectly. We often maximize 60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable, transparent revolutionary, killer iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "interactive" really mean? Think ubiquitous. Think robust. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much C++, and not enough ASP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky iteration and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache.