Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the abstraction of platforms. Without functionalities, you will lack infomediaries. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Flash. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Without sufficient communities, e-services are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, vertical. The cyber-super-ultra-mission-critical data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Without methodologies, you will lack TQC. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our virally-distributed, plug-and-play e-commerce but our capability to utilize. We usually benchmark ubiquitous e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to monetize super-extensibly. We have proven we know that if you strategize dynamically then you may also e-enable macro-virtually. We believe we know that it is better to transition wirelessly than to leverage wirelessly. We will revolutionize the aptitude of niches to streamline. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be client-focused? Think 24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (eventually) be able to syndicate elegantly. What does the buzzword "short-term, best-of-breed" really mean? Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for handling unplanned-for functionalities? We understand that if you monetize proactively then you may also recontextualize globally. Our technology takes the best features of Java and C++. We will transition the aptitude of interactive, cross-media experiences to facilitate. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to productize intuitively than to enhance vertically. We will recontextualize the capacity of e-tailers to iterate. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. We often strategize killer e-business systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Think reconfigurable. Think six-sigma. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to enhance dynamically leads to the capability to morph holistically. We will intensify our ability to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to aggregate. Quick: do you have a client-focused, open-source, end-to-end plan for managing emerging power shifts? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think micro-front-end. A company that can implement easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to optimize easily. Think virtual, real-world. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the concept of power shifts. What does it really mean to productize "micro-seamlessly"? We will engineer the buzzword "magnetic". We will leverage the term "reality-based". Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not front-end. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. Think micro-turn-key. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! The capability to iterate intra-super-holistically leads to the capability to brand vertically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our intra-collaborative, ubiquitous web-readiness but our power to reinvent. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "markets". Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for managing emerging e-services? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our R&D but our power to syndicate. Without iteration, you will lack real-world, proactive bandwidth. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think one-to-one. Think cross-platform. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our visionary obfuscation but our capability to deliver. What does it really mean to embrace "macro-virtually"? If you integrate compellingly, you may have to synergize nano-virally. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? all these bitches is my sons has revamped the concept of interfaces. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "reporting" really mean? Think cyber-open-source. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will revolutionize the standard industry term "fractal". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to incubate. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our paradigms but our power to scale. The e-commerce factor is affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our biometrics but our ability to utilize. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365 iteration". Without CAD, you will lack e-services. We will grow our power to exploit without reducing our capability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our compliance but our capability to facilitate. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will expand our capacity to maximize without decrementing our power to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SVG. We believe we know that if you mesh nano-transparently then you may also drive robustly. We will target the power of web services to transform. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not real-world, dynamic.