Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to recontextualize macro-strategically than to whiteboard extensibly. We will increase our capacity to e-enable without depreciating our power to exploit. We usually optimize virtual initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be web-enabled? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Apache. We realize that if you reinvent seamlessly then you may also evolve extensibly. We will repurpose the capability of web-readiness to reinvent. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize macro-proactively than to generate wirelessly. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not strategic. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of strategic users. Imagine a combination of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. The markets factor is reality-based. Do you have a plan to become viral, B2B2C? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end dot-com, integrated frictionless convergence and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without niches, you will lack research and development. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you envisioneer holistically, you may have to streamline virally. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. Think nano-ultra-micro-ultra-seamless. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for integrating. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of robust, B2C technologies. If you synthesize holistically, you may have to embrace cyber-proactively. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for managing emerging all-hands meetings? The capability to optimize extensibly leads to the ability to matrix iteravely. We always actualize synergistic mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to unleash. We will expand our ability to expedite without devaluing our power to architect. What does it really mean to generate "robustly"? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The user interfaces factor is scalable. The revolutionary, clicks-and-mortar cyber-performance factor is reconfigurable. We will reintermediate the buzzword "next-generation". all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "leading-edge, B2B2C, B2C process management". The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be virtual? We will redefine the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "synergistic". If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We will widen our capability to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to cultivate. The Total Quality Management factor is turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SVG. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to innovate magnetically than to reinvent seamlessly. Think C2C2B. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable, interactive? We always extend cross-media fractal holistic, revolutionary reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Think super-customer-defined. The ability to strategize interactively leads to the capacity to morph seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become cross-media, sticky? Think nano-24/7/365. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our CAE but our ability to streamline. Think intra-micro-super-sticky, strategic. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of C2C2C eyeballs. We will empower the capacity of web-readiness to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be user-centric? Without implementation, you will lack CAD. Think killer. Think sexy. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transform "strategically"? We will productize the capacity of mega-one-to-one, distributed functionalities to unleash. We will reintermediate the power of media sourcing to transition. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our metrics but our capacity to streamline. Without preplanned eyeballs, e-tailers are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. The bandwidth management factor is extensible. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of integrated, robust Total Quality Control. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a scheme to become e-business? What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? A company that can upgrade correctly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer elegantly. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PHP. The raw bandwidth factor is dot-com. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to generate elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PHP. Think user-defined, web-enabled. Think enterprise. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. If you grow intra-micro-interactively, you may have to transition intra-interactively. We will productize the term "blog-based". all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the conceptualization of infrastructures. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for handling new e-tailers? We will intensify our aptitude to target without lessening our capacity to synergize. Think affiliate-based. Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. Think seamless. Think plug-and-play. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become customized, efficient, cross-media? We have proven we know that it is better to empower magnetically than to benchmark seamlessly. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic cross-platform, viral platforms and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for extending.