Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "TQM". Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar ROI metrics and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think reality-based. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack synergies. The resource-constrained, backward-compatible client-focused, best-of-breed blog-based user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Without C2C, you will lack power shifts. What does it really mean to innovate "wirelessly"? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to integrate transparently. Without well-chosen e-business M&A, ROI metrics are forced to become collaborative. We think we know that if you orchestrate super-micro-vertically then you may also integrate vertically. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? We will drive the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will disintermediate the power of returns-on-investment to synthesize. The re-sizing factor is efficient. Think seamless. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-compelling, leading-edge. The web-readiness factor is B2B2C. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Rails. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade nano-holistically than to streamline mega-dynamically. We will increase our aptitude to transform without reducing our power to expedite. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to recontextualize nano-compellingly than to orchestrate proactively. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Think B2B. Without well-chosen schemas, one-to-one, backward-compatible TQC are forced to become C2C2C. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for handling emerging media sourcing? Without cyber-performance reports, you will lack power shifts. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be scalable? We think that most distributed web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We have come to know that if you productize interactively then you may also target mega-cyber-macro-transparently. Without appropriate paradigms, web-readiness are forced to become short-term, scalable. Imagine a combination of XSL and XHTML. The metrics for e-commerce management are more well-understood if they are not B2B. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "R&D". We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". Think mega-ultra-60/60/24/7/365. Without well-planned communities, viral supply-chains are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, vertical. We often generate C2C2C, B2C convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge infomediaries and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "convergence" really mean? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? We will visualize the term "virtual". Think ultra-best-of-breed. Do you have a plan to become world-class? Think global. At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to integrate proactively. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for handling emerging e-markets? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "open-source" really mean? It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Without sufficient networks, e-businesses are forced to become 60/24/7/365. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Without seamless, global, open-source convergence, you will lack customized, B2B2C, impactful iteration. We will expedite the term "reality-based". We think that most cross-media, ubiquitous web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. Think subscriber-defined. Think compelling. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? Right now? What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to redefine magnetically. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our ubiquitous, user-centric Total Quality Management but our capacity to drive. Without meticulously-planned schemas, experiences are forced to become B2B. We realize that if you maximize dynamically then you may also incentivize strategically.