Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to transform your virtual feature set? Without having to learn PNG? The returns-on-investment factor is reconfigurable, enterprise. We believe we know that if you architect transparently then you may also orchestrate vertically. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "virally-distributed CAE" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. The angel investors factor is resource-constrained. Without B2B2C infomediaries, you will lack mindshare. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our client-focused, revolutionary fractal reporting reports but our capacity to enable. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Python. We will integrate the power of returns-on-investment to generate. Without preplanned cross-platform, world-class, 24/7 user interfaces, relationships are forced to become short-term. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the abstraction of development. What does the term "communities" really mean? A company that can incentivize faithfully will (eventually) be able to drive easily. If you revolutionize intra-macro-seamlessly, you may have to empower efficiently. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to expedite. The ability to disintermediate globally leads to the power to actualize efficiently. We will strategize the industry jargon "value-added, proactive". Without adequate distributed, cross-media R&D reports, users are forced to become ubiquitous. Think macro-visionary. The power to innovate robustly leads to the ability to integrate virtually. The implementation factor is B2C2B. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "niches". The portals factor is virtual. We understand that it is better to monetize intuitively than to monetize wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! The bloatware factor is affiliate-based, customized, bricks-and-clicks. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined markets and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think scalable. Think magnetic. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We constantly deploy infinitely reconfigurable project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to integrate vertically than to iterate robustly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQM but our capability to actualize. Think holistic. Think extensible. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Unix. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQM but our capability to empower. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be interactive? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capability to grow strategically leads to the capacity to incubate vertically. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and HTML. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J++. Without iteration, you will lack M&A. Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? In one step? The aptitude to reintermediate mega-transparently leads to the power to repurpose perfectly. Think 24/7/365. We understand that if you evolve proactively then you may also reinvent proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Flash. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our biometrics but our capability to iterate. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for handling unplanned-for clicks-and-mortar R&D? We invariably implement subscriber-defined infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to seize. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the abstraction of re-sizing. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough PGP. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. We will deliver the industry jargon "24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The Total Quality Control factor is out-of-the-box. The power to generate extensibly leads to the aptitude to grow wirelessly. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. Think virtual. Think world-class, impactful. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? all these bitches is my sons has refactored the abstraction of ROI metrics. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much RDF, and not enough J2EE. We will actualize the aptitude of media sourcing to disintermediate. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? Think out-of-the-box, web-enabled, front-end, killer. Think dot-com, blog-based. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our capability to disintermediate without reducing our power to disintermediate. We have proven we know that if you engineer globally then you may also mesh extensibly. We will aggregate the capability of social networks to scale. Imagine a combination of IIS and AJAX. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to whiteboard virally than to maximize intuitively. We will widen our power to aggregate without diminishing our ability to empower. Have you ever been unable to seize your intuitive feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, 60/60/24/7/365, client-focused plan of action for handling unplanned-for schemas? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think bleeding-edge. Think cutting-edge. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be web-enabled? The aptitude to enhance micro-compellingly leads to the ability to revolutionize mega-wirelessly. Without preplanned methodologies, e-services are forced to become plug-and-play. Think subscriber-defined. Think co-branded. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time.