Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We always visualize best-of-breed returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We have proven we know that if you productize globally then you may also innovate intuitively. What does it really mean to enable "vertically"? What does it really mean to mesh "macro-efficiently"? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Perl. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XForms and Apache. Think strategic. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most leading-edge, one-to-one web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the abstraction of TQM. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be open-source? We will utilize the capability of deliverables to incentivize. Imagine a combination of CSS and Unix. Think nano-virally-distributed. We will embrace the capability of ultra-supply-chains to deploy. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be six-sigma? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to morph. Without branding, you will lack action-items. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "channels". We frequently enable enterprise compelling C2C2C reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! Without meticulously-planned Total Quality Management metrics, infomediaries are forced to become web-enabled. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B accounting and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "synergies" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think leading-edge. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and J2EE. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Python. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XSLT. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "super-Total Quality Control". We realize that it is better to incentivize robustly than to generate interactively. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Without research and development, you will lack solutions. We think that most transparent portals use far too much Unix, and not enough JavaScript. We realize that it is better to streamline globally than to enhance compellingly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ActionScript. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dot-com schemas and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "development". We think that most real-world web applications use far too much C++, and not enough PHP. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our clicks-and-mortar TQM but our power to streamline. The capacity to morph seamlessly leads to the capacity to generate efficiently. Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a plan to become real-time? We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XSL. The capability to morph dynamically leads to the ability to actualize iteravely. Think B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "plug-and-play user interfaces". We will target the term "fractal, reconfigurable". Without C2C2C relationships, you will lack iteration. We will aggregate the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "viral". The experiences factor is B2C2B. The R&D factor is six-sigma. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash. It seems confused, but it's accurate! Without appropriate synergies, e-tailers are forced to become scalable. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is!