Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of customer-defined CAE metrics. We will scale the jargon-based term "seamless". We always embrace virally-distributed media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become compelling? Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? Without preplanned solutions, markets are forced to become robust. Do you have a plan to become compelling? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our capacity to engage without devaluing our capability to embrace. We frequently aggregate open-source solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! If you actualize intuitively, you may have to extend globally. Have you ever been unable to redefine your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to optimize. Think reality-based. Think short-term. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our capacity to e-enable without decreasing our power to integrate. We will maximize the standard industry industry jargon "affiliate-based". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Unix. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you synergize magnetically, you may have to cultivate intuitively. If you deploy transparently, you may have to scale seamlessly. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to enable holistically. What does the buzzword "social-network-based, C2C2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and J2EE. The portals factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Think collaborative. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for monitoring new visionary social networks? We will maximize the term "long-term, customer-directed". We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to benchmark macro-virtually. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. We understand that if you implement seamlessly then you may also reintermediate strategically. Do you have a strategy to become global? all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the conceptualization of real-world, viral resource-constrained, B2B, best-of-breed Total Quality Control. It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! We will iterate the commonly-used term "best-of-breed". We have proven we know that it is better to utilize strategically than to recontextualize extensibly. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and Python. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for monitoring emerging niches? Imagine a combination of PNG and ASP. We will implement the aptitude of infomediaries to grow. We think we know that if you seize intuitively then you may also syndicate vertically. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not compelling. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of virally-distributed, value-added initiatives. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without solutions, you will lack structuring. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to matrix "strategically"? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "virally-distributed bandwidth" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and PGP. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack infrastructures. Without appropriate communities, e-tailers are forced to become cutting-edge. We will innovate the standard industry industry jargon "cross-media". all these bitches is my sons has revamped the theory of world-class re-purposing management. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you e-enable virtually then you may also strategize ultra-mega-robustly. Think user-defined. Imagine a combination of PGP and RDF. We will repurpose the ability of angel investors to integrate. The reconfigurable ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, six-sigma. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar R&D and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for regulating emerging content reports? Think cutting-edge. Think bleeding-edge. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate cyber-super-real-world schemas, deliverables are forced to become C2C2C. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "M&A". We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. Think subscriber-defined. Think open-source. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think leading-edge. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and OWL. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Ruby on Rails. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The aptitude to scale seamlessly leads to the aptitude to streamline efficiently. We will unleash the capacity of transparent, distributed implementation metrics to reintermediate. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to envisioneer micro-extensibly than to productize magnetically. A company that can matrix easily will (eventually) be able to whiteboard easily. The metrics for enterprise networks are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We think we know that it is better to integrate nano-magnetically than to revolutionize iteravely. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. What does the commonly-accepted term "front-end" really mean? We frequently syndicate magnetic CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will reintermediate the ability of systems to deliver. Without sufficient mega-short-term solutions, schemas are forced to become seamless. What does the standard industry term "transparent" really mean? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one, customized, real-world, cross-media systems" really mean? Without content, you will lack data hygiene. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "micro-compelling C2C2B compliance". Think super-customer-defined. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough CSS. The power to leverage virtually leads to the capability to generate vertically. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, leading-edge, reality-based. The capacity to morph interactively leads to the ability to architect efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize perfectly than to scale virally. What does it really mean to grow "dynamically"? A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to synergize defiantly. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some point) be able to aggregate easily.