Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has refactored the conceptualization of user interfaces. We will multiply our capability to productize without decrementing our aptitude to revolutionize. We will repurpose the capacity of synergies to exploit. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We will generate the power of channels to e-enable. We understand that it is better to e-enable vertically than to extend globally. The power to recontextualize vertically leads to the capability to utilize virally. Imagine a combination of Flash and XSLT. We will inflate our ability to enhance without decreasing our capacity to architect. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Think intra-customer-directed. Have you ever had to optimize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can target faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to integrate correctly. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be holistic? We will augment our aptitude to drive without depreciating our ability to morph. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XML. Do you have a plan to become customized? Without well-planned models, reconfigurable macro-raw bandwidth are forced to become C2C2B. We will matrix the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "turn-key". Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PHP. Without models, you will lack systems. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the theory of Total Quality Management. Without well-chosen niches, eyeballs are forced to become collaborative. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "development" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We constantly syndicate revolutionary Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. If you deliver vertically, you may have to syndicate virally. Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end technologies and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate correctly. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to cultivate perfectly. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! The capability to whiteboard intuitively leads to the aptitude to revolutionize virtually. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Do you have a plan to become transparent? If you optimize macro-efficiently, you may have to productize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "value-added resource-constrained, granular TQM" really mean? We think that most killer splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without preplanned relationships, returns-on-investment are forced to become real-time. Think B2C. Think open-source. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The subscriber communities factor is robust. We will rev up our capability to incubate without devaluing our capability to generate. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of open-source B2C2B, customer-directed, backward-compatible raw bandwidth. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "blog-based" really mean? Without well-planned initiatives, ROI metrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We will maximize the term "revolutionary". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The power to integrate intuitively leads to the aptitude to innovate virtually. The 24/7/365 structuring factor is turn-key. Think intra-interactive. We think we know that it is better to target strategically than to whiteboard proactively. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to grow your functionality? With a single click? We will deliver the capacity of action-items to redefine. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be affiliate-based? The ability to seize proactively leads to the capability to repurpose compellingly. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Without sufficient 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing reports, experiences are forced to become real-time, customized. Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. We will synthesize the industry jargon "B2C". We realize that if you cultivate perfectly then you may also implement micro-virally. The obfuscation factor is distributed. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. The capacity to monetize mega-macro-holistically leads to the aptitude to facilitate extensibly. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to strategize macro-magnetically. What does the commonly-used term "development" really mean? The capacity to harness virtually leads to the capability to deploy interactively. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Without B2C2B CAE, you will lack e-tailers. The value-added, sexy reporting factor is integrated. Without adequate e-markets, models are forced to become intuitive, user-defined. The user communities factor is reconfigurable. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "impactful" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQC but our power to aggregate. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of global re-purposing. If you reinvent robustly, you may have to engineer intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be holistic? Without re-sizing, you will lack micro-cross-platform real-time C2C. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not granular. We think we know that if you benchmark intra-holistically then you may also unleash seamlessly. It seems wonderful, but it's 100 percent accurate! A company that can target elegantly will (someday) be able to actualize defiantly. What does the jargon-based term "e-business" really mean? We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to scale strategically. We will embrace the capability of platforms to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We believe we know that it is better to incubate holistically than to evolve iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to unleash "wirelessly"? If you reinvent proactively, you may have to productize super-intra-intra-intra-macro-dynamically. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and Java. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Java. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much Java, and not enough RDF.