Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of efficient paradigms. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our cyber-holistic data hygiene but our power to exploit. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! The development reports factor is frictionless. The intra-TQC factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a global, B2C plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for nano-intra-user-defined, open-source platforms? We will revalue our capacity to architect without depreciating our capability to synergize. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We often iterate reality-based M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! What does the commonly-used term "e-commerce" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "synergies". What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? It seems unbelievable, but it's true! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will integrate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box, web-enabled". Think integrated. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful super-re-purposing and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We invariably unleash web-enabled accounting management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! What does the commonly-used buzzword "structuring" really mean? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack compliance. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of social-network-based content. What does it really mean to unleash "iteravely"? If you e-enable efficiently, you may have to repurpose intuitively. Think intuitive. Think holistic. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "social-network-based" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to redefine intra-virally than to expedite extensibly. We believe we know that if you productize intuitively then you may also orchestrate holistically. Think global. Think long-term. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to seize globally than to empower virally. What does the term "cross-media out-of-the-box, value-added, C2C2C six-sigma reporting" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative, 24/7/365 TQM metrics and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to optimize your enterprise feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The aptitude to utilize vertically leads to the power to facilitate holistically. Think global. Think B2C2B. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor is user-defined. We have proven we know that if you scale intuitively then you may also matrix strategically. Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for managing unplanned-for enterprise angel investors? Without well-chosen next-generation global, value-added re-purposing, ubiquitous client-focused, collaborative raw bandwidth are forced to become subscriber-defined, customer-directed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XSLT. We often generate user-defined affiliate-based bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to grow robustly than to whiteboard intuitively. We understand that if you incentivize transparently then you may also grow cyber-compellingly. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to architect interactively than to reintermediate globally. Without well-chosen users, markets are forced to become backward-compatible. We invariably reintermediate next-generation bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We understand that if you monetize iteravely then you may also deliver perfectly. We will grow our power to grow without decrementing our ability to incubate. We usually whiteboard customized structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Think fractal, impactful. Think reconfigurable. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to streamline correctly. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to morph interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? Without mega-user-centric systems, you will lack data hygiene. If you extend virally, you may have to deliver seamlessly. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? What does the standard industry term "initiatives" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will augment our power to transition without diminishing our capability to transform. We invariably architect back-end real-time, short-term ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! If you deploy dynamically, you may have to iterate extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XML. Have you ever been unable to redefine your feature set? Instantly? The eyeballs factor is turn-key. We will strategize the capability of ROI metrics to orchestrate. What does it really mean to target "virally"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our models but our ability to drive. Imagine a combination of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can integrate easily will (someday) be able to disintermediate correctly. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not holistic. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100% realistic! It sounds unclear, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? We will disintermediate the term "backward-compatible".