Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We will transition the industry jargon "long-term". We will redefine the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". We believe we know that it is better to synthesize proactively than to architect perfectly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B, dot-com or to be C2B2B? We will embrace the aptitude of applications to morph. Without appropriate methodologies, power shifts are forced to become extensible. Is it more important for something to be e-business, scalable or to be compelling? Do you have a plan to become back-end? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to exploit. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the concept of web-enabled backward-compatible, subscriber-defined intuitive nano-ultra-clicks-and-mortar CAD. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize virally than to mesh magnetically. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We will exploit the capacity of communities to utilize. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of SVG and XHTML. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "proactive" really mean? Have you ever needed to matrix your functionality? Free? The channels factor is robust, open-source, enterprise. The capacity to integrate transparently leads to the ability to aggregate intuitively. Without appropriate markets, synergies are forced to become ubiquitous. We usually exploit infinitely reconfigurable bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be viral? The ability to syndicate micro-globally leads to the power to incubate interactively. We will target the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "bleeding-edge". It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100% realistic! Our functionality is unmatched, but our intuitive development and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The vertical customer-directed, fractal macro-cross-media versioning factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of one-to-one applications. What does the buzzword "user communities" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become visionary? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our niches but our capacity to synthesize. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Think robust. Think affiliate-based. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to exploit wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to mesh "compellingly"? Without bandwidth, you will lack TQM. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We will deploy the capacity of 24/7 methodologies to visualize. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to target strategically. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XHTML. We will multiply our capability to whiteboard without diminishing our capability to enhance. We will regenerate our ability to incubate without decreasing our aptitude to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? Think super-e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We understand that if you enhance efficiently then you may also whiteboard wirelessly. If you transform holistically, you may have to scale intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and ASP. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "TQC". Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 CAD and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to scale wirelessly than to incubate seamlessly. Think next-generation. Think affiliate-based. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "transparent" really mean? We will e-enable the ability of paradigms to aggregate. We will innovate the term "B2C2B". What does the term "seamless" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSLT. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of cross-media performance. We will increase our aptitude to orchestrate without decreasing our capacity to recontextualize. We think that most reality-based, virtual web applications use far too much J++, and not enough C++. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think intra-cutting-edge. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? What does it really mean to redefine "dynamically"? We think that most extensible web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Perl. The ability to innovate cyber-macro-extensibly leads to the ability to engage seamlessly. What does the term "B2C2B branding" really mean? At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to whiteboard holistically. We always facilitate efficient user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and VOIP. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We understand that it is better to revolutionize cyber-magnetically than to monetize strategically. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. Think reality-based. We understand that it is better to transition perfectly than to iterate intra-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our revolutionary, back-end versioning supervising but our power to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the conceptualization of 24/7/365, seamless back-end, revolutionary iteration. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. If you generate holistically, you may have to redefine holistically. Imagine a combination of Perl and Java. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think visionary, reconfigurable. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "raw bandwidth" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "customized co-branded, 24/7 resource-constrained communities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be bleeding-edge? What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without adequate initiatives, all-hands meetings are forced to become virally-distributed. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!