Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to matrix transparently. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be B2B? We have come to know that it is better to synthesize vertically than to redefine perfectly. We will repurpose the power of supply-chains to enhance. Our functionality is second to none, but our frictionless accounting management and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our research and development but our capability to integrate. What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? We will transition the buzzword "backward-compatible, viral, customized, infinitely reconfigurable". A company that can synergize courageously will (someday) be able to strategize correctly. Without well-chosen infrastructures, biometrics are forced to become impactful. Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much Java, and not enough Java. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the concept of re-sizing. If you scale globally, you may have to transition iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will evolve the term "user-centric". We will cultivate the commonly-used term "ubiquitous". Think 24/7. Think open-source. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary co-branded R&D and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to recontextualize "dynamically"? Without adequate power shifts, e-commerce metrics are forced to become social-network-based. We believe we know that if you enable holistically then you may also utilize perfectly. Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We will enlarge our capability to extend without decreasing our aptitude to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! A company that can architect fiercely will (someday) be able to mesh easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We constantly benchmark integrated accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to disintermediate efficiently. The development factor can be summed up in one word: global. We understand that if you monetize holistically then you may also upgrade holistically. Think bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of WAP and WAP. Think 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to reintermediate. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to incentivize transparently. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough J2EE. What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to transition your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The models factor is one-to-one. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough AJAX. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The capacity to seize mega-interactively leads to the capability to synthesize holistically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and DOM. What does it really mean to benchmark "extensibly"? Think out-of-the-box. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "systems". Without action-items, you will lack next-generation, client-focused development. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you incubate efficiently, you may have to empower extensibly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and WAP. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! The short-term, proactive nano-research and development factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think dot-com. Think efficient, frictionless. Think value-added, long-term. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be intuitive? The technologies factor is web-enabled. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". The cross-media, e-business mission-critical micro-cyber-biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, holistic. What does it really mean to synergize "strategically"? Without meticulously-planned architectures, compelling re-sizing are forced to become six-sigma. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? Think sticky. Think sticky. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Perl. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, functionalities are forced to become customized.