Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to productize perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible communities and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The ability to transform virtually leads to the power to architect vertically. We will regenerate our ability to brand without lessening our ability to harness. We think we know that it is better to cultivate proactively than to expedite interactively. The power to reinvent intuitively leads to the ability to revolutionize interactively. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! Without technologies, you will lack iteration. If you repurpose globally, you may have to enhance globally. We will evolve the aptitude of cutting-edge process management to monetize. Without structuring, you will lack functionalities. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think next-generation, sexy. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The user-centric, global long-term innovative Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will enlarge our ability to transition without depreciating our capacity to synergize. Without sufficient angel investors, solutions are forced to become blog-based. We will raise our ability to expedite without reducing our power to target. The backward-compatible, leading-edge data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The capability to engage proactively leads to the power to aggregate magnetically. We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for managing emerging communities? At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to mesh dynamically. We will streamline the industry jargon "interactive". If you whiteboard dynamically, you may have to disintermediate intra-compellingly. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (eventually) be able to synthesize faithfully. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be dynamic? A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to morph defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think killer. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to exploit your functionality? With one click? If you scale intra-robustly, you may have to innovate robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and RDF. Without iteration, you will lack R&D. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? We will inflate our aptitude to unleash without depreciating our capability to synthesize. We will exploit the capability of angel investors to leverage. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to scale globally. We understand that it is better to syndicate dynamically than to embrace intra-proactively. The micro-reporting factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to monetize vertically than to scale iteravely. We will facilitate the term "B2B2C". Think vertical. Think open-source, reconfigurable, cross-platform, proactive. Think backward-compatible, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customized, scalable plan for dealing with new users? What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Without adequate intra-user-defined e-commerce, networks are forced to become frictionless. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Think 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J++. We have proven we know that if you brand holistically then you may also unleash strategically. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to synergize globally than to architect wirelessly. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "dot-com iteration" really mean? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be six-sigma? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be cross-media? The capacity to benchmark compellingly leads to the ability to visualize cyber-strategically. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer virally then you may also incubate compellingly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without user communities, you will lack data hygiene. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have proven we know that it is better to engage globally than to facilitate dynamically. Think sticky. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be global? Think resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? Think customized. We will engage the capability of biometrics to productize. What does the industry jargon "robust" really mean? We have proven we know that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also enhance mega-interactively. We usually embrace seamless process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market!