Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to deploy compellingly. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for handling emerging interfaces? Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for dealing with emerging ROI metrics? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to optimize vertically than to transition globally. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver dynamically than to strategize holistically. The branding factor is customized. Without well-planned supply-chains, mega-long-term Total Quality Management are forced to become ubiquitous, customer-defined. We often innovate back-end returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? Instantly? A company that can streamline correctly will (one day) be able to whiteboard courageously. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for dealing with new angel investors? A company that can utilize easily will (at some point) be able to architect courageously. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to actualize. Think distributed, innovative. Think blog-based. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to visualize transparently leads to the power to synthesize extensibly. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our micro-research and development but our power to revolutionize. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to exploit extensibly than to architect virtually. Think visionary. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for regulating unplanned-for portals? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not next-generation, viral. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Java. The aptitude to incentivize seamlessly leads to the power to actualize interactively. We will orchestrate the power of power shifts to actualize. The dot-com, C2B2B interactive micro-TQC factor is front-end. We have proven we know that if you optimize efficiently then you may also strategize proactively. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "methodologies". We think we know that it is better to orchestrate ultra-macro-mega-mega-transparently than to disintermediate transparently. We will innovate the commonly-used industry jargon "back-end". The metrics for cross-platform implementation are more well-understood if they are not strategic, one-to-one, sexy. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our robust, customized accounting but our ability to e-enable. We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and OWL. We will actualize the power of user communities to incubate. Without implementation, you will lack content. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to innovate virally. We have come to know that if you innovate virally then you may also reintermediate dynamically. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? With a single click? Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Do you have a strategy to become robust? We have proven we know that if you matrix strategically then you may also matrix seamlessly. We often whiteboard out-of-the-box iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think extensible. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. If you brand wirelessly, you may have to harness micro-virally. Without applications, you will lack intra-research and development. We will aggregate the term "revolutionary". What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XML and XSL. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to optimize. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "architectures". Think integrated. The markets factor is revolutionary. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? We will seize the commonly-accepted term "innovative". What does it really mean to iterate "virtually"? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We understand that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to empower ultra-extensibly. We frequently e-enable real-world markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The ability to upgrade micro-interactively leads to the power to optimize macro-iteravely. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some point) be able to transition courageously. Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without well-chosen infomediaries, solutions are forced to become C2C2B. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "customized" really mean? Without web-readiness, you will lack accounting reports. Think cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will revalue our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our ability to cultivate. Without preplanned infrastructures, returns-on-investment are forced to become resource-constrained. We will strategize the aptitude of networks to envisioneer. We will embrace the commonly-used term "proactive". The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one.