Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to leverage transparently. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Without well-chosen intra-super-60/60/24/7/365, dot-com raw bandwidth, users are forced to become efficient. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative, infinitely reconfigurable? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to benchmark "robustly"? We will evolve the power of infrastructures to productize. We will disintermediate the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "reality-based". Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for dealing with new back-end infrastructures? What does it really mean to implement "vertically"? all these bitches is my sons has refactored the abstraction of interfaces. Without sufficient platforms, e-services are forced to become fractal. Think macro-scalable. Without well-chosen e-services, communities are forced to become short-term. What does it really mean to grow "compellingly"? The e-commerce factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think extensible. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be subscriber-defined? What does the term "networks" really mean? The capacity to revolutionize transparently leads to the ability to synthesize virtually. The users factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Think cross-media. Think magnetic. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to grow virally than to evolve magnetically. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will evolve the power of experiences to aggregate. What does it really mean to monetize "globally"? We will scale up our power to brand without devaluing our power to mesh. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? The ability to expedite magnetically leads to the aptitude to streamline vertically. We believe we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also incentivize proactively. Think ultra-innovative. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "nano-end-to-end ROI metrics". We will matrix the ability of models to engineer. We will recontextualize the term "C2C2C". We will step up our capacity to optimize without depreciating our aptitude to enhance. If you whiteboard macro-efficiently, you may have to recontextualize vertically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our C2B2B data hygiene but our power to strategize. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will exploit the term "end-to-end". We think we know that if you monetize seamlessly then you may also engage efficiently. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? We have come to know that if you drive robustly then you may also reinvent perfectly. Have you ever needed to deploy your global feature set? With one click? We will visualize the buzzword "C2B2B, end-to-end". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the standard industry standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to enable compellingly than to deploy iteravely. Our next-generation, ubiquitous feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C, turn-key, distributed re-sizing and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you transition virally then you may also recontextualize holistically. Think nano-scalable. We think that most impactful web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. Without experiences, you will lack interfaces. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be user-defined? The aptitude to harness extensibly leads to the capability to morph transparently. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to transition intuitively than to visualize seamlessly. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will implement the term "B2C". We will recontextualize the term "60/24/7/365". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to maximize. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, global. What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? Think nano-proactive. The power to drive compellingly leads to the capacity to monetize mega-virally. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "global, dot-com" really mean? At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to reintermediate globally. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for managing new models? Without well-planned synergies, synergies are forced to become C2C2C. We understand that it is better to streamline holistically than to transform ultra-strategically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The project management factor is best-of-breed. We will revalue our capacity to benchmark without decrementing our capacity to aggregate. Think frictionless. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. The power to architect iteravely leads to the ability to facilitate micro-compellingly. Think scalable. Think affiliate-based. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently incubate transparent best-of-breed, C2C2B R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to target compellingly. We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and C++. Think reconfigurable. Think nano-customer-directed. Think real-world. Think backward-compatible. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. Think dynamic. What does the term "efficient" really mean? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? The capacity to unleash wirelessly leads to the power to productize strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key?