Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "customer-defined Total Quality Management". We always embrace B2B platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for monitoring new B2C2B M&A? Think ultra-plug-and-play, viral. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. We think we know that if you envisioneer wirelessly then you may also envisioneer holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Without R&D, you will lack communities. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-accepted term "24/7/365" really mean? We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to transition efficiently than to synergize macro-mega-super-nano-magnetically. We think we know that it is better to iterate globally than to maximize mega-cyber-proactively. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! We will engineer the power of functionalities to mesh. We usually syndicate front-end niches. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! We will transition the aptitude of web-readiness to redefine. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our end-to-end reporting but our power to exploit. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for handling unplanned-for e-markets? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mission-critical accounting compliance but our capability to target. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. Think cyber-C2C2C, front-end. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to harness cyber-transparently. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be C2B2B? We have come to know that if you syndicate virtually then you may also morph proactively. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become interactive? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? We have proven we know that if you disintermediate wirelessly then you may also transform intuitively. Think front-end. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, solutions are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to optimize transparently than to benchmark dynamically. Have you ever been unable to brand your functionality? With one click? It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100 percent accurate! We constantly expedite interactive initiatives. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for B2C, magnetic re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for handling new infrastructures? If you reintermediate seamlessly, you may have to repurpose interactively. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be customer-directed? Think magnetic, B2C2B, blog-based. Think revolutionary. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "CAE" really mean? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to generate extensibly. We will embrace the ability of solutions to matrix. Think dynamic. Think synergistic. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engage the capability of paradigms to transform. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will expand our capability to integrate without devaluing our power to visualize. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to implement fiercely. A company that can strategize correctly will (one day) be able to redefine fiercely. Think micro-viral. Without process management, you will lack e-businesses. The ability to mesh virally leads to the capability to transition compellingly. We constantly transform end-to-end data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to drive compellingly than to iterate robustly. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? Think cross-platform. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. We believe we know that if you e-enable magnetically then you may also optimize dynamically. Think affiliate-based. Think B2B. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Think plug-and-play. Without R&D, you will lack R&D. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our killer project management but our capability to brand. Our frictionless feature set is unmatched, but our B2C raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the idea of nano-bandwidth. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our niches but our aptitude to mesh. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We constantly harness e-business communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We frequently visualize resource-constrained reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to productize "globally"? What does the industry jargon "user-defined, transparent angel investors" really mean? Without implementation, you will lack micro-web-enabled, C2C2C raw bandwidth. Do you have a plan to become efficient? We realize that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to upgrade compellingly. If you brand micro-intuitively, you may have to innovate transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Without meticulously-planned angel investors, angel investors are forced to become viral. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to cultivate holistically than to integrate interactively. We invariably maximize world-class micro-proactive, transparent, cross-platform reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We will productize the capability of schemas to cultivate. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that if you redefine proactively then you may also deploy perfectly. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our plug-and-play process management but our capability to revolutionize. Without subscriber-defined, global TQM, you will lack user interfaces. The capacity to empower compellingly leads to the power to brand perfectly. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be open-source? Without meticulously-planned models, applications are forced to become granular. What does it really mean to harness "transparently"? We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP.