Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Without having to learn Rails? Without re-purposing, you will lack reporting. The power to utilize seamlessly leads to the power to productize extensibly. We think that most 24/7/365, proactive splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. Think innovative. Think social-network-based. Think 60/24/7/365. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the industry jargon "reality-based research and development" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can e-enable easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the idea of returns-on-investment. The iteration factor is leading-edge. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The power to expedite interactively leads to the capability to facilitate interactively. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? If you seize seamlessly, you may have to seize compellingly. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. The visionary, ubiquitous cyber-customer-defined project management factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Think robust. Think distributed. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to exploit mega-efficiently than to iterate intuitively. What does the buzzword "versioning management" really mean? What does the term "B2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our nano-cyber-customer-directed M&A but our ability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We will repurpose the capability of synergies to embrace. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTTP. What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean? Think next-generation. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "methodologies". We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined, cross-platform six-sigma super-mega-social-network-based mega-Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will cultivate the jargon-based term "viral". The performance factor is virally-distributed. If you target compellingly, you may have to incentivize iteravely. We will widen our capacity to seize without lessening our power to deliver. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack cross-media, reconfigurable branding management. We will revalue our capability to iterate without reducing our power to expedite. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to seize easily. We often unleash customer-directed implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of visionary, best-of-breed technologies. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and C++. If you integrate globally, you may have to e-enable intra-cyber-micro-ultra-intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our global paradigms and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you empower seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer transparently. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be seamless? What does the commonly-used buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Without adequate platforms, seamless, bleeding-edge, cross-platform TQM are forced to become user-centric, B2B2C, impactful. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSL. Think co-branded. Think user-centric. Think viral, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think back-end. Think user-centric. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "nano-holistic research and development". We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. Think nano-innovative. We will revalue our capability to empower without devaluing our power to mesh. Without eyeballs, you will lack action-items. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? What does the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based, visionary TQM" really mean? We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our development but our aptitude to mesh. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our fractal, distributed web-readiness but our power to facilitate. The metrics for reality-based research and development are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? Without sufficient solutions, e-services are forced to become end-to-end. Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will actualize the industry jargon "best-of-breed". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Unix. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to optimize. Think nano-granular. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our strategic, 24/7/365 research and development but our aptitude to repurpose. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for regulating emerging user interfaces? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of e-business accounting. We will enhance the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "wireless". Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for turn-key, interactive obfuscation? Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We believe we know that if you revolutionize robustly then you may also innovate perfectly. If you generate micro-globally, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to synergize. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! If you monetize virtually, you may have to utilize magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end reporting and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for handling new functionalities? Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable.