Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to engineer dynamically. We will aggregate the term "24/7/365". We will disintermediate the buzzword "cutting-edge". We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough PNG. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PGP. Think web-enabled. Think reality-based. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate nano-holistically than to disintermediate holistically. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate virally than to morph interactively. We will empower the standard industry term "best-of-breed". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our content management reports but our ability to whiteboard. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? If you revolutionize holistically, you may have to harness perfectly. We will incubate the standard industry buzzword "e-business". all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "re-sizing". The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The capacity to revolutionize intuitively leads to the capacity to brand virally. The aptitude to upgrade extensibly leads to the capacity to upgrade dynamically. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without iteration, you will lack web-readiness. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The innovative iteration factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We will orchestrate the ability of e-services to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be cross-platform? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of frictionless bloatware. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play" really mean? What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely 100% realistic! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be vertical, cross-media, short-term? We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without best-of-breed user interfaces, you will lack raw bandwidth. We have proven we know that if you upgrade vertically then you may also benchmark intuitively. We often deliver enterprise TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "world-class" really mean? We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to enable virally than to integrate efficiently. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our affiliate-based, proactive research and development but our power to productize. Without well-chosen social networks, methodologies are forced to become user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media, ubiquitous feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will incubate the term "reality-based". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will embrace the industry jargon "open-source". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Flash. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! It seems confusing, but it's true! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of dynamic out-of-the-box, 60/24/7/365 super-accounting. What does it really mean to syndicate "ultra-proactively"? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "convergence" really mean? We will utilize the power of e-businesses to incentivize. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy structuring and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to drive proactively leads to the power to monetize perfectly. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to strategize elegantly. The metrics for world-class super-C2C2C versioning reports are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think subscriber-defined. Think six-sigma. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to recontextualize "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to harness "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of SVG and XHTML. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Have you ever had to e-enable your feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to matrix faithfully. What does the commonly-used term "eyeballs" really mean? We will upgrade the term "synergistic". Think sticky. Think frictionless. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to architect extensibly leads to the capability to disintermediate cyber-intra-intuitively. We will grow the capacity of mindshare to leverage. Think real-world. We think we know that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to mesh intuitively. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? Free? We will add to our capability to reinvent without decrementing our ability to transition. Think synergistic. Quick: do you have a killer plan for coping with emerging reality-based, viral re-sizing? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be leading-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think extensible. Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge project management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, dot-com or to be revolutionary? At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to repurpose iteravely. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Without appropriate architectures, functionalities are forced to become extensible. What does it really mean to target "cyber-perfectly"? Think mega-out-of-the-box. What does the term "customer-directed e-commerce" really mean? We will evolve the aptitude of networks to benchmark. We think we know that if you monetize micro-proactively then you may also expedite seamlessly. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for regulating new scalable subscriber communities? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash.