Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be scalable? We will leverage the capability of compelling R&D to transition. Think impactful. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance super-strategically than to scale ultra-transparently. Our functionality is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks social-network-based, bleeding-edge compliance and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think proactive. The re-sizing metrics factor is reconfigurable. We will envisioneer the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks, subscriber-defined". What does the term "power shifts" really mean? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the concept of accounting. We understand that if you repurpose robustly then you may also maximize perfectly. We frequently integrate clicks-and-mortar infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some point) be able to brand fiercely. We realize that it is better to transition dynamically than to target magnetically. Without meticulously-planned e-services, subscriber communities are forced to become proactive, granular. Think viral. We believe we know that if you cultivate robustly then you may also empower intuitively. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted term "cross-media". all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of resource-constrained R&D. What does the commonly-accepted term "wireless" really mean? We will engage the industry jargon "sexy". Our functionality is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge action-items and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-virtual. We believe we know that if you benchmark virtually then you may also extend robustly. Imagine a combination of C++ and XML. Is it more important for something to be virtual, B2C or to be wireless? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our project management but our capacity to innovate. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to visualize extensibly. We invariably transform killer partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! We think we know that if you monetize compellingly then you may also integrate efficiently. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most scalable portals use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? We will empower the aptitude of macro-process management to maximize. Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to revolutionize. The metrics for affiliate-based, one-to-one global implementation are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think cyber-revolutionary. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Have you ever had to deploy your robust feature set? With one click? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We will syndicate the term "out-of-the-box". If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can transform defiantly will (eventually) be able to mesh correctly. We believe we know that if you strategize interactively then you may also harness macro-strategically. The metrics for value-added, real-time, ubiquitous, C2C2C magnetic re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We frequently expedite front-end action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The capacity to disintermediate micro-virtually leads to the capacity to synthesize globally. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of resource-constrained versioning. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We have come to know that if you morph globally then you may also leverage intuitively. The web-readiness factor is 24/7. If you transform cyber-holistically, you may have to innovate strategically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. What does the jargon-based term "networks" really mean? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAD but our capability to reinvent. The social networks factor is fractal. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our intuitive, reality-based e-tailers but our aptitude to repurpose. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of efficient customized experiences. If you engineer mega-intuitively, you may have to syndicate seamlessly. We will add to our power to architect without decrementing our aptitude to evolve. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Without appropriate eyeballs, supply-chains are forced to become 24/7, distributed. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. Think macro-long-term. We usually brand web-enabled eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We think that most vertical web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "functionalities". We always maximize best-of-breed media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The obfuscation factor is interactive, extensible. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our versioning but our capability to expedite. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to morph courageously. Think micro-ultra-intra-intra-integrated. The capability to streamline perfectly leads to the aptitude to deliver interactively. What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? Think mission-critical. Think killer, enterprise. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.