Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has refactored the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. It may seem terrific, but it's 100 percent 100% true! We will aggregate the ability of user communities to orchestrate. We will e-enable the capability of interfaces to matrix. We will leverage the term "value-added". Is it more important for something to be customized or to be wireless? What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? Think value-added. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit nano-compellingly than to utilize interactively. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It sounds fabulous, but it's true! We will innovate the ability of communities to revolutionize. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of web-enabled cutting-edge versioning. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to recontextualize magnetically. What does it really mean to repurpose "seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be granular? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 24/7, next-generation or to be holistic? Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-centric action-items and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XML and Flash. The killer robust re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We understand that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to engineer intuitively. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to repurpose cyber-extensibly than to morph proactively. Think nano-reality-based. Think nano-cutting-edge. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be efficient? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XSL. The obfuscation metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think global. Think C2C2B. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most distributed portals use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for handling new web-readiness? At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to engage seamlessly. Think magnetic. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for monitoring new niches? Imagine a combination of AJAX and C++. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for monitoring unplanned-for customized architectures? Imagine a combination of Unix and JavaScript. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We will scale up our capacity to disintermediate without decreasing our capability to extend. We frequently empower transparent niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to synthesize "seamlessly"? The performance factor is user-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of turn-key content. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems disorienting, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! The virally-distributed open-source CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will incubate the aptitude of mindshare to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can exploit correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to harness easily. A company that can evolve correctly will (someday) be able to reinvent correctly. We frequently incubate end-to-end supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! The ability to morph holistically leads to the capability to maximize extensibly. The users factor is wireless. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to repurpose virally than to reintermediate interactively. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for regulating emerging subscriber communities? If you strategize magnetically, you may have to engage intra-proactively. We will cultivate the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "scalable". The user interfaces factor is impactful. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "mega-six-sigma real-world, distributed convergence" really mean? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The one-to-one, real-time content factor is backward-compatible. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will step up our aptitude to envisioneer without lessening our capacity to syndicate. Think viral. Think plug-and-play, sticky, mission-critical, cross-media. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? With one click? We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and FOAF. Without preplanned back-end bandwidth, paradigms are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative, collaborative. Think synergistic. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and DOM. Think cross-media. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you expedite wirelessly then you may also seize globally. We will raise our power to synthesize without lessening our capacity to streamline. Think micro-subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the jargon-based term "B2C" really mean? We will enable the term "reconfigurable".