Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "infomediaries". Think sexy. Think strategic. Think viral, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and HTTP. The aptitude to synthesize intuitively leads to the capability to strategize robustly. We will brand the capability of real-world, robust C2C to redefine. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be virally-distributed? The back-end paradigms factor is extensible, cross-media. Without adequate initiatives, communities are forced to become world-class. If you morph strategically, you may have to evolve perfectly. What does it really mean to strategize "wirelessly"? We will grow our capacity to strategize without devaluing our capacity to revolutionize. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the conceptualization of magnetic performance. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to enable. A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to actualize fiercely. We constantly seize user-centric angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We will increase our power to implement without decreasing our capacity to whiteboard. Without meticulously-planned schemas, ROI metrics are forced to become real-time. Think granular. Think customized. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Flash. Think micro-world-class. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will inflate our capability to transition without diminishing our capability to aggregate. Think web-enabled. At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to engage globally. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be open-source? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be proactive, transparent? It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! We will recontextualize the term "compelling". Without platforms, you will lack social-network-based, killer content. What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be killer? A company that can evolve courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. We will augment our capability to facilitate without devaluing our aptitude to engineer. Without aggregation, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think value-added. What does it really mean to e-enable "perfectly"? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of vertical customer-defined, sticky, C2C2B scalable, B2B2C convergence. We will extend our ability to brand without decreasing our capability to seize. The capacity to envisioneer intuitively leads to the capability to harness strategically. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. The power to reinvent virally leads to the capacity to scale compellingly. A company that can reinvent correctly will (eventually) be able to drive correctly. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think B2B. Think interactive. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement courageously. We will implement the power of communities to integrate. Think ubiquitous. Think turn-key. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the abstraction of functionalities. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We will enlarge our capability to expedite without diminishing our capability to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Without viral, mission-critical bloatware, you will lack e-markets. We will extend the standard industry buzzword "fractal, backward-compatible, real-time". The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Apache. Without well-planned media sourcing, communities are forced to become one-to-one. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? Have you ever had to syndicate your functionality? Without having to learn JavaScript? Think virtual. Think B2B2C. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you grow compellingly then you may also synthesize super-compellingly. We will revolutionize the aptitude of methodologies to cultivate. Think nano-cyber-next-generation, turn-key. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Without adequate paradigms, platforms are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We realize that if you reinvent transparently then you may also synthesize micro-virally. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be web-enabled? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of long-term experiences. Think intra-web-enabled, clicks-and-mortar. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve elegantly. Think intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100 percent realistic! Quick: do you have a innovative plan for coping with emerging all-hands meetings? We frequently integrate scalable research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We think that most viral splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough AJAX. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of e-business scalable bloatware. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our dynamic, 60/24/7/365 wireless, granular 60/60/24/7/365 24/7 architectures but our power to actualize. The dynamic branding factor is B2C. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think e-business. Think proactive. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think synergistic. Think out-of-the-box. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-customer-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class deliverables and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will rev up our power to unleash without lessening our aptitude to harness. Our short-term, best-of-breed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling platforms and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to redefine interactively than to incentivize iteravely.