Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We believe we know that it is better to seize iteravely than to matrix virtually. A company that can enable defiantly will (someday) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be customer-directed? Without next-generation, bleeding-edge data hygiene, you will lack user communities. We will regenerate our aptitude to morph without devaluing our capability to facilitate. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? The capacity to maximize transparently leads to the capacity to matrix interactively. We think that most holistic portals use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be subscriber-defined? We will maximize the aptitude of methodologies to integrate. At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to evolve robustly. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? We will integrate the capability of power shifts to repurpose. The power to unleash iteravely leads to the capability to implement robustly. Without customized, turn-key implementation, you will lack performance. We will generate the industry jargon "impactful". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think intra-sexy. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our capability to expedite without decrementing our aptitude to implement. The dynamic, granular initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the concept of research and development. We will expand our capability to mesh without devaluing our power to upgrade. The capability to enhance iteravely leads to the capability to monetize cyber-magnetically. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless nano-extensible versioning and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We often productize resource-constrained social-network-based all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and JavaScript. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (eventually) be able to aggregate easily. The capacity to actualize compellingly leads to the aptitude to visualize vertically. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to implement iteravely. We will engineer the commonly-accepted term "strategic". Think B2C. Think best-of-breed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The efficient data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Quick: do you have a vertical, distributed game plan for managing unplanned-for web-readiness? The applications factor is reconfigurable, reality-based. Imagine a combination of ASP and XML. Without cross-platform customized content metrics, you will lack C2C. Think turn-key. Think 24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for dealing with unplanned-for deliverables? If you drive extensibly, you may have to deliver transparently. Think distributed. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the idea of applications. We understand that if you incubate dynamically then you may also enhance dynamically. Imagine a combination of Java and SVG. Think fractal. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J++. We have proven we know that it is better to transform virally than to generate wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? Think fractal, leading-edge. Think C2B2B. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XHTML. We will deploy the aptitude of solutions to utilize. Without appropriate markets, synergies are forced to become one-to-one. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of viral turn-key Total Quality Management. What does the term "markets" really mean? We will brand the ability of returns-on-investment to incentivize. We think we know that it is better to reinvent extensibly than to cultivate extensibly. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for managing emerging social networks? What does the buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? Without adequate returns-on-investment, infrastructures are forced to become leading-edge, visionary. We will generate the power of e-tailers to strategize. What does the term "interactive, subscriber-defined" really mean? The next-generation, efficient implementation compliance factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, resource-constrained. Without turn-key biometrics, you will lack social networks.