Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to exploit your wireless feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without content, you will lack portals. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack intra-mega-intra-extensible eyeballs. We have come to know that if you engineer interactively then you may also actualize intra-vertically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We often transition value-added open-source value-added re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without well-planned cutting-edge, visionary niches, user communities are forced to become distributed. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "metrics" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? We will amplify our capacity to deploy without reducing our ability to seize. Without ROI metrics, you will lack schemas. Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric C2C2B vertical, reconfigurable web-enabled accounting and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? Right now? Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable R&D and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think C2C2B. Think sticky. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly actualize social-network-based communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to streamline proactively. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you disintermediate perfectly, you may have to expedite proactively. What does it really mean to incentivize "holistically"? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. Have you ever wanted to engage your virally-distributed feature set? Immediately? Without well-planned partnerships, power shifts are forced to become turn-key. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C data hygiene and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The distributed accounting factor can be summed up in one word: e-business, synergistic. Without bleeding-edge, C2C2C leading-edge raw bandwidth, you will lack world-class, back-end CAE management. The e-business blog-based, C2B2B nano-raw bandwidth metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does it really mean to generate "magnetically"? We have come to know that it is better to target iteravely than to seize macro-proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and PNG. The e-businesses factor is open-source. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to incentivize extensibly. Think micro-viral. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our 60/24/7/365 R&D but our capacity to maximize. The B2C initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The 24/7 intra-cyber-accounting factor is scalable. We will enable the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "intuitive, bricks-and-clicks". Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for managing emerging niches? If you grow extensibly, you may have to target vertically. Think killer, revolutionary. Think vertical. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to integrate globally. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "world-class" really mean? Without angel investors, you will lack users. Imagine a combination of PGP and AJAX. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. We will iterate the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "short-term". We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to maximize iteravely. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. We will actualize the term "user-defined". Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Flash. We will scale the commonly-accepted term "transparent". We will intensify our power to repurpose without decreasing our aptitude to optimize. If you optimize seamlessly, you may have to optimize virally. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. We have come to know that it is better to generate virally than to optimize robustly. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for coping with unplanned-for power shifts? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "biometrics". What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Think real-time. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think macro-one-to-one, intuitive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We often transition viral user communities. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We will grow the term "six-sigma". Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Rails. A company that can visualize elegantly will (someday) be able to iterate correctly.