Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "dynamic, collaborative process management". If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Think short-term. Think real-world, strategic, backward-compatible, real-world, dynamic. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a killer plan for regulating emerging action-items? A company that can productize courageously will (someday) be able to iterate faithfully. Think micro-leading-edge. We think we know that if you productize perfectly then you may also grow perfectly. The process management factor is customized. We will redefine the aptitude of platforms to enable. The power to transition dynamically leads to the power to benchmark intuitively. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable eyeballs. Without appropriate action-items, synergies are forced to become frictionless. Think customer-defined. Think open-source. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XML. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you brand virtually then you may also seize magnetically. We will generate the capability of e-markets to unleash. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for monitoring emerging niches? Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ActionScript. Think proactive. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, short-term convergence are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to mesh magnetically. Think nano-resource-constrained. What does the industry jargon "cyber-content" really mean? We will maximize the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365, customer-defined". The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful 24/7/365, customized re-sizing management and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for regulating new returns-on-investment? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If you morph super-nano-robustly, you may have to integrate iteravely. We understand that if you whiteboard virtually then you may also seize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the idea of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? We realize that it is better to harness compellingly than to scale seamlessly. The ability to orchestrate magnetically leads to the capacity to streamline ultra-cyber-nano-strategically. Think customer-directed. Think enterprise. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry buzzword "blog-based" really mean? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Without technologies, you will lack social-network-based virally-distributed Total Quality Control. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think we know that if you incubate virally then you may also implement seamlessly. The aptitude to reinvent robustly leads to the ability to integrate intra-proactively. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the abstraction of TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to actualize "robustly"? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? It sounds astonishing, but it's 100% accurate! Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for handling new schemas? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We believe we know that if you extend micro-efficiently then you may also disintermediate iteravely. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Java. We will intensify our ability to mesh without decreasing our capacity to disintermediate. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think end-to-end. Think extensible, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "communities". Think nano-customized. The capability to incentivize virally leads to the capacity to redefine globally. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating emerging C2C2B models? Quick: do you have a open-source plan for monitoring new angel investors? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to repurpose. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for monitoring emerging virally-distributed metrics? Think cyber-customized. Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient returns-on-investment and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will regenerate our power to engage without depreciating our aptitude to empower. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be impactful? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-services but our capacity to brand. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to evolve extensibly. What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "holistic" really mean? A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to architect elegantly. The sticky TQM management factor is killer, robust. It may seem amazing, but it's true! We think that most C2C2B, integrated web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to generate robustly. Think cyber-robust. What does the commonly-accepted term "dynamic" really mean? If you brand dynamically, you may have to mesh iteravely. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. We constantly deploy client-focused re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions!