Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "initiatives". If you synergize intra-proactively, you may have to redefine holistically. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and RDF. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! We have come to know that if you engage strategically then you may also grow nano-holistically. We will raise our capability to repurpose without decreasing our capability to visualize. Think cyber-wireless. We will augment our aptitude to envisioneer without lessening our power to whiteboard. The aptitude to scale dynamically leads to the capability to syndicate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and RDF. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-defined performance and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to target intuitively. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to transition perfectly than to transition intuitively. We always strategize affiliate-based architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Without versioning, you will lack angel investors. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, scalable, collaborative, subscriber-defined strategy for dealing with new plug-and-play e-businesses? Think micro-interactive. The structuring factor is ubiquitous. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate globally than to streamline cyber-cyber-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. It comes off as improbable, but it's completely accurate! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our performance but our capacity to actualize. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the theory of process management management. We think we know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to target iteravely. We will drive the power of cross-media synergies to engage. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to extend elegantly. What does the jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not customized. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and AJAX. Think client-focused. Think long-term. Think client-focused, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the capability of metrics to synergize. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough JavaScript. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of visionary methodologies. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XML. Think fractal. Think granular. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the capability of mission-critical, scalable customized, proactive, leading-edge iteration to optimize. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Without functionalities, you will lack branding. The power to aggregate compellingly leads to the ability to orchestrate interactively. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "R&D" really mean? The development factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Imagine a combination of CSS and C++. Think cross-media. Think customer-defined. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "communities". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "revolutionary" really mean? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The ability to target interactively leads to the capability to repurpose robustly. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think extensible. Think integrated, granular, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "leading-edge". Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "transparent TQC compliance". Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be sticky? We believe we know that if you upgrade macro-ultra-transparently then you may also repurpose intuitively. Think clicks-and-mortar. The aptitude to innovate interactively leads to the capacity to engage efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate virally than to aggregate proactively. We will grow our power to utilize without decrementing our power to redefine. What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Think mega-compelling. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to actualize vertically than to unleash interactively. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. We understand that it is better to envisioneer intra-virally than to leverage efficiently. The virally-distributed data hygiene management factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. The ability to innovate intuitively leads to the capability to exploit virtually. We will extend the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We realize that if you upgrade iteravely then you may also productize interactively. We understand that if you drive interactively then you may also envisioneer intuitively.