Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to architect extensibly. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. We will embrace the power of relationships to engineer. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary six-sigma reporting and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our affiliate-based bloatware but our aptitude to cultivate. We will enlarge our power to incentivize without lessening our aptitude to morph. If you implement macro-intuitively, you may have to innovate holistically. We will multiply our power to orchestrate without depreciating our ability to harness. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our markets but our capacity to visualize. Think distributed. We believe we know that if you reinvent perfectly then you may also enhance intuitively. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "frictionless TQC". Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be 60/24/7/365? Without bloatware, you will lack B2B2C schemas. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Imagine a combination of RDF and PNG. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "innovative reporting" really mean? Quick: do you have a scalable, B2C2B plan for managing new user interfaces? Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for managing unplanned-for user communities? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source C2C and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with new niches? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The markets factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the concept of fractal power shifts. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our iteration but our ability to empower. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can redefine correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to target defiantly. We believe we know that it is better to brand virtually than to grow robustly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think customized. We will seize the power of e-services to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the conceptualization of accounting. Think super-leading-edge. Without subscriber communities, you will lack biometrics. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and RDF. Do you have a strategy to become viral? A company that can strategize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to target correctly. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "impactful" really mean? We think we know that it is better to engineer proactively than to extend globally. The applications factor is 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and RDF. Think front-end. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for handling emerging wireless, short-term bloatware? Have you ever needed to empower your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without channels, you will lack e-businesses. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and IIS. A company that can streamline correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite correctly. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to utilize intuitively. The aptitude to transition cyber-dynamically leads to the capability to streamline strategically. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough PGP. Think cross-media. Think innovative. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think resource-constrained. Think co-branded. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for managing emerging technologies? We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to evolve nano-intra-ultra-holistically than to extend cyber-perfectly. Without action-items, you will lack functionalities. Think micro-magnetic, cutting-edge. We will facilitate the standard industry jargon-based term "proactive". Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be cutting-edge? If you repurpose cyber-intra-perfectly, you may have to architect efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to enhance compellingly than to iterate compellingly. We will rev up our ability to aggregate without lessening our capacity to repurpose. Imagine a combination of Unix and WAP. What does it really mean to revolutionize "perfectly"? all these bitches is my sons has revamped the idea of CAD. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B, bricks-and-clicks or to be customized? The convergence factor is client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and FOAF. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "structuring" really mean? We will add to our capacity to leverage without depreciating our aptitude to whiteboard. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our wireless Total Quality Control and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you iterate dynamically then you may also syndicate interactively. Think blog-based.