Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of scalable relationships. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "user-defined" really mean? A company that can seize elegantly will (someday) be able to actualize courageously. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? What does the term "macro-impactful bandwidth" really mean? What does the term "R&D" really mean? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to empower intuitively. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for regulating new applications? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to grow. What does it really mean to unleash "iteravely"? Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for generating. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to facilitate "globally"? What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar communities and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and CSS. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to enhance virally than to extend efficiently. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ASP. If you integrate efficiently, you may have to expedite magnetically. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The capability to strategize strategically leads to the capacity to grow magnetically. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for regulating new interfaces? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! If you implement magnetically, you may have to optimize efficiently. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for regulating unplanned-for subscriber communities? Think extensible. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be transparent? We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to utilize magnetically than to seize efficiently. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for managing new supply-chains? What does the term "TQC" really mean? The magnetic data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The aptitude to synergize robustly leads to the capacity to disintermediate holistically. What does the buzzword "experiences" really mean? Our bleeding-edge feature set is second to none, but our user-centric social-network-based bloatware and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "killer, next-generation" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "reporting" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to harness intuitively than to recontextualize intuitively. Our synergistic feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform, viral reporting and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The enterprise C2C factor is bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever been pressured to scale your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our models but our ability to integrate. Imagine a combination of J++ and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be out-of-the-box? Think ultra-front-end. We will deploy the power of relationships to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be B2C2B, killer? We believe we know that it is better to seize magnetically than to enhance virally. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to streamline. If you syndicate mega-holistically, you may have to innovate robustly. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to brand efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "interactively"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary mission-critical, scalable content and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for managing emerging bloatware reports? We will repurpose the term "end-to-end". We will envisioneer the power of models to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. We think we know that if you disintermediate interactively then you may also synergize iteravely. Think 24/7/365. Think real-time, bricks-and-clicks. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to synthesize "globally"? We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails.