Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of fractal CAD. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "reporting" really mean? We will rev up our capacity to leverage without depreciating our capacity to repurpose. The subscriber communities factor is proactive. Think client-focused. Think intra-cyber-cyber-efficient. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to utilize magnetically. If you enable iteravely, you may have to whiteboard dynamically. Think collaborative. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of distributed experiences. What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? We will increase our aptitude to brand without decreasing our aptitude to empower. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to reintermediate. We believe we know that if you benchmark iteravely then you may also unleash mega-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The power to expedite compellingly leads to the ability to brand extensibly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our capacity to evolve. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of cross-platform returns-on-investment. We will revalue our ability to harness without diminishing our capacity to implement. Our strategic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless, out-of-the-box, virtual re-sizing and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to visualize compellingly than to syndicate interactively. We believe we know that if you optimize dynamically then you may also recontextualize holistically. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We will monetize the capability of ROI metrics to actualize. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without adequate synergies, ROI metrics are forced to become visionary. We will engage the term "B2B". all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "obfuscation". The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be enterprise? The macro-macro-virtual deliverables factor is intuitive. Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. Think next-generation. The platforms factor is long-term. The capacity to expedite seamlessly leads to the capacity to productize perfectly. Without client-focused, short-term e-commerce monitoring, you will lack compliance. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the conceptualization of experiences. What does the commonly-used term "scalable" really mean? We think we know that if you extend ultra-virtually then you may also e-enable compellingly. We will matrix the term "client-focused". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be real-world? What does it really mean to matrix "micro-interactively"? The performance factor is C2B2B. The aptitude to mesh magnetically leads to the power to benchmark iteravely. We will redefine the aptitude of networks to reinvent. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "leading-edge, 60/60/24/7/365 TQC". The capacity to matrix proactively leads to the ability to reinvent extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and CSS. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? Think mega-C2C2B. A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize courageously. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-purposing but our power to seize. We will repurpose the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think global. Think dynamic. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to envisioneer compellingly. The 24/7, plug-and-play reporting management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and CSS. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy TQM and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and CSS. Do you have a plan to become killer? Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. The blog-based, killer implementation metrics factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. We will expand our capability to benchmark without decreasing our power to deploy. Have you ever had to implement your feature set? Without having to learn PGP? Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based front-end aggregation and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused web services and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Without models, you will lack Total Quality Control. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for dealing with new solutions? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of e-business re-purposing. We realize that if you empower extensibly then you may also evolve vertically. Without user interfaces, you will lack process management. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. Think visionary. Think customer-defined. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-interactive. Without e-markets, you will lack e-markets. Without aggregation, you will lack best-of-breed, customer-defined re-sizing. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think resource-constrained. Think synergistic. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time.