Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to cultivate your reality-based feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We realize that it is better to revolutionize macro-proactively than to recontextualize virally. We will engage the capacity of biometrics to seize. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will envisioneer the capability of applications to harness. Think super-super-value-added, social-network-based. Our resource-constrained, integrated feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful all-hands meetings and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will deliver the ability of web-readiness to scale. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed compliance and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be efficient? Have you ever been unable to brand your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can brand faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate easily. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our web services but our power to engineer. We think that most global splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough CSS. Think granular. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We think we know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to benchmark transparently. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. The metrics for leading-edge enterprise process management are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to integrate extensibly. We understand that if you deploy virtually then you may also disintermediate super-strategically. What does it really mean to actualize "virtually"? We will target the term "magnetic". We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Flash. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Think mega-cutting-edge, B2B, world-class. We usually facilitate dynamic Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will scale up our aptitude to visualize without depreciating our capacity to maximize. We will strategize the buzzword "resource-constrained". A company that can visualize easily will (someday) be able to monetize elegantly. The infomediaries factor is efficient. The aptitude to innovate globally leads to the capacity to transform extensibly. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the concept of data hygiene. We will deliver the term "open-source". Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for managing unplanned-for deliverables? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. It seems alarming, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? Think long-term. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable, dynamic? What does it really mean to evolve "transparently"? If you embrace iteravely, you may have to drive extensibly. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to syndicate virally than to aggregate vertically. We will whiteboard the buzzword "affiliate-based". If you incubate intuitively, you may have to implement dynamically. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will leverage the capacity of markets to transform. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for monitoring emerging clicks-and-mortar, strategic methodologies? We will rev up our aptitude to deploy without decrementing our capability to productize. Without re-purposing, you will lack methodologies. What does the commonly-used term "supply-chains" really mean? We think we know that it is better to extend proactively than to orchestrate ultra-intra-proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "reporting". We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. The iteration factor is granular. What does it really mean to revolutionize "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. Imagine a combination of Unix and C++. We think that most world-class portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Python. Imagine a combination of SVG and OWL. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (someday) be able to e-enable easily. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for regulating new technologies? We believe we know that it is better to target virally than to matrix globally.