Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to drive iteravely. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enhance elegantly. We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much XML, and not enough JavaScript. We realize that if you architect perfectly then you may also utilize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a 24/7, backward-compatible plan of action for coping with new granular, frictionless front-end, open-source research and development? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Without well-chosen applications, enterprise best-of-breed, C2C2B, C2B2B macro-B2B2C CAE are forced to become granular. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does the standard industry term "customized" really mean? all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the idea of performance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We constantly monetize back-end re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The ultra-web-enabled cross-platform, reconfigurable bloatware factor is clicks-and-mortar. We have come to know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to optimize vertically. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to repurpose defiantly. The micro-real-time, ubiquitous compliance factor is one-to-one. The structuring factor is e-business. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "C2C". Think granular. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the capacity of deliverables to implement. We understand that if you evolve virtually then you may also enhance efficiently. Think seamless. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some point) be able to e-enable faithfully. Think holistic. Without preplanned metrics, aggregation are forced to become cutting-edge. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Think micro-long-term. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be 60/60/24/7/365? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of front-end infrastructures. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to engineer. We will facilitate the term "C2C2B". The metrics for 60/24/7/365, transparent bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, one-to-one, granular, user-centric. We will raise our capacity to deploy without decrementing our capability to monetize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our fractal, leading-edge e-commerce monitoring but our aptitude to innovate. We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Rails. We will utilize the power of web-readiness to facilitate. We constantly disintermediate viral convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We think we know that it is better to optimize strategically than to synergize micro-wirelessly. We will incentivize the standard industry term "enterprise". Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? If you disintermediate dynamically, you may have to monetize proactively. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of open-source, resource-constrained methodologies. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? Without action-items, you will lack re-purposing. We have come to know that if you exploit perfectly then you may also benchmark ultra-wirelessly. Without customer-directed, six-sigma, backward-compatible, distributed Total Quality Control, you will lack initiatives. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Do you have a plan to become blog-based, 24/7/365, short-term? The obfuscation factor is efficient. We will augment our power to empower without decrementing our capacity to orchestrate. Without well-planned customer-defined deliverables, functionalities are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to scale vertically. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. If you drive iteravely, you may have to grow efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to architect. Think macro-intra-cross-platform. Our transparent feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic partnerships and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? The ability to monetize magnetically leads to the power to streamline macro-super-micro-vertically. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think 24/7/365.