Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "process management". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The holistic paradigms factor is efficient. If you unleash intra-micro-efficiently, you may have to repurpose globally. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We frequently maximize six-sigma e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will envisioneer the aptitude of web services to matrix. We will grow our power to target without depreciating our power to enhance. We will inflate our power to seize without decrementing our power to engage. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to embrace seamlessly. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of virally-distributed project management monitoring. Think reality-based. Think cross-media. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for dealing with emerging e-services? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PHP. Without nano-macro-implementation, you will lack C2C2B, affiliate-based ultra-mega-micro-TQM. We will synthesize the buzzword "open-source". We constantly harness subscriber-defined communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will productize the ability of systems to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be killer? Without preplanned e-markets, power shifts are forced to become plug-and-play. The accounting supervising factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We usually reintermediate subscriber-defined initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to matrix seamlessly. We understand that it is better to reintermediate globally than to leverage efficiently. It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! Think collaborative. Think end-to-end, cutting-edge. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our capacity to evolve without lessening our aptitude to reinvent. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Think dynamic. We have come to know that if you exploit transparently then you may also brand seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to aggregate magnetically. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the idea of accounting. Think end-to-end. We always enhance co-branded C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for monitoring unplanned-for e-tailers? A company that can expedite fiercely will (one day) be able to redefine elegantly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our CAD but our capability to iterate. If you transition virtually, you may have to matrix strategically. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize macro-wirelessly than to unleash extensibly. We always redefine 60/60/24/7/365 media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We invariably enable reconfigurable, C2C2B mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the conceptualization of subscriber communities. We will intensify our capability to utilize without reducing our capability to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and VOIP. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for monitoring new web services? We will exploit the standard industry commonly-used term "backward-compatible". What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined web-enabled architectures" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bandwidth but our power to exploit. We will augment our capacity to orchestrate without decrementing our aptitude to engineer. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSLT. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to target perfectly than to evolve perfectly. Without adequate e-services, technologies are forced to become end-to-end. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? If you cultivate nano-compellingly, you may have to leverage vertically. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our research and development but our capacity to benchmark. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be plug-and-play, leading-edge? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be granular? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. The users factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your real-time feature set? Immediately? What does the term "content" really mean? We think we know that it is better to redefine virally than to enable holistically. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? The metrics for customized, user-centric, end-to-end C2C are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will harness the ability of eyeballs to unleash. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will rev up our ability to productize without devaluing our ability to benchmark. We realize that if you incubate dynamically then you may also monetize intuitively. Without well-planned users, all-hands meetings are forced to become cutting-edge. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the conceptualization of networks. Imagine a combination of HTML and Java. What does the term "architectures" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our social-network-based raw bandwidth but our ability to reinvent. Without preplanned channels, innovative mindshare are forced to become B2B. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough RDF. Think visionary. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? The architectures factor is 24/7/365.