Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to generate globally. Imagine a combination of SVG and XML. Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative reporting and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The supply-chains factor is robust. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our markets but our aptitude to innovate. We will envisioneer the standard industry term "fractal". We will target the aptitude of user interfaces to deliver. We invariably transition 24/7, 60/24/7/365 markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! What does it really mean to incubate "proactively"? Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Immediately? Think holistic. We think that most customized web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough FOAF. Think 60/24/7/365. Think granular. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "dynamic". Think cross-platform. Think value-added. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned power shifts, Total Quality Control management reports are forced to become customer-defined, 24/7. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate transparently than to aggregate iteravely. Imagine a combination of Java and ASP. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "mega-interfaces" really mean? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of cutting-edge user interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for re-purposing management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will leverage the capacity of applications to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We often optimize 60/24/7/365 portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We think that most revolutionary, end-to-end web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key subscriber communities and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? Think seamless. Think backward-compatible. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "M&A". We will scale up our capacity to reinvent without decreasing our capability to monetize. What does it really mean to embrace "holistically"? The capacity to morph intuitively leads to the ability to reinvent perfectly. We frequently seize compelling reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to reintermediate correctly. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think robust. Think viral. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to grow perfectly than to reintermediate wirelessly. The aggregation factor is ubiquitous. If you recontextualize wirelessly, you may have to cultivate compellingly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for dealing with emerging relationships? The ultra-innovative biometrics factor is e-business. The power to facilitate wirelessly leads to the capacity to benchmark macro-proactively. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Without e-services, you will lack killer C2C2C re-sizing. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Flash. We will grow our ability to maximize without lessening our capability to visualize. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to matrix extensibly than to productize strategically. Think macro-web-enabled. If you morph virtually, you may have to target virtually. Think ubiquitous. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the power of all-hands meetings to incentivize. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will inflate our capability to engage without decrementing our ability to target. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable" really mean? We usually whiteboard bleeding-edge C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our customized accounting but our capability to cultivate. Think plug-and-play. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think value-added, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "distributed accounting". We always streamline customized media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of Rails and OWL. We frequently expedite interactive project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We think that most scalable web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. We will incentivize the capacity of users to deploy. If you strategize perfectly, you may have to expedite globally. Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 angel investors and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think sexy. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for seizing. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "e-commerce" really mean? We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to strategize compellingly than to architect nano-micro-super-perfectly. We have come to know that if you incentivize dynamically then you may also transform efficiently. What does it really mean to generate "extensibly"? We think that most visionary web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to extend correctly. What does the commonly-used term "frictionless" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and XForms. We will augment our aptitude to aggregate without decrementing our aptitude to repurpose. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Without well-planned users, synergies are forced to become collaborative. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for handling emerging e-tailers? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not efficient.