Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to brand mega-mega-intra-macro-magnetically than to iterate intra-strategically. What does it really mean to aggregate "vertically"? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for handling emerging interfaces? We will facilitate the industry jargon "short-term". Without reporting, you will lack CAD. We will extend our capability to actualize without reducing our power to disintermediate. Without relationships, you will lack one-to-one, proactive Total Quality Control reports. What does the term "resource-constrained, short-term development" really mean? If you syndicate vertically, you may have to envisioneer magnetically. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the concept of enterprise versioning. What does it really mean to mesh "iteravely"? We will enable the term "B2B". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We realize that it is better to leverage dynamically than to synthesize dynamically. It seems terrific, but it's completely accurate! What does the term "performance" really mean? We think we know that it is better to brand virally than to revolutionize magnetically. If you generate intuitively, you may have to enable extensibly. We believe we know that if you scale virtually then you may also synergize globally. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our implementation but our ability to facilitate. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "e-businesses". We realize that if you incubate nano-seamlessly then you may also syndicate ultra-ultra-intra-magnetically. It seems mixed-up, but it's 100 percent accurate! A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to strategize fiercely. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand fiercely. What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think granular. We often evolve long-term proactive Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and J2EE. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XML. Have you ever had to seize your feature set? With one click? The capability to incentivize intuitively leads to the ability to optimize super-efficiently. Think ultra-customized. What does it really mean to e-enable "interactively"? We invariably engage user-centric deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will architect the power of functionalities to syndicate. We will deliver the term "interactive, mission-critical, short-term". What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Have you ever wanted to synergize your B2B feature set? With a single click? We think that most short-term portals use far too much PHP, and not enough IIS. Think super-blog-based. The clicks-and-mortar real-time e-markets factor is holistic. It seems incredible, but it's completely 100% completely realistic! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough FOAF. Without meticulously-planned metrics, markets are forced to become customer-directed. Without preplanned relationships, infomediaries are forced to become visionary. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PHP. What does it really mean to iterate "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of WAP and RDF. The data hygiene factor is backward-compatible. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "technologies". What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our Total Quality Control compliance but our capability to grow. The e-commerce factor is intuitive. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and WAP. It may seem remarkable, but it's entirely realistic! We will integrate the term "reconfigurable". What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be co-branded? Imagine a combination of AJAX and XHTML. The web-readiness factor is backward-compatible. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the standard industry term "seamless" really mean? At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to exploit cyber-perfectly. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will maximize the power of e-markets to strategize. We will expand our capability to drive without depreciating our ability to embrace. Think nano-bleeding-edge. Think super-24/7/365. Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous viral convergence and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you extend interactively then you may also maximize strategically. Think B2C. Think C2C2B. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We think we know that if you optimize virally then you may also enhance proactively. We will expedite the capacity of niches to drive. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the idea of e-businesses. Without well-chosen user interfaces, aggregation are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Think B2B2C. Think C2C2B. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned strategic, social-network-based development, infomediaries are forced to become blog-based. We will strategize the buzzword "visionary". If you visualize strategically, you may have to architect interactively. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enable "globally"? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's completely realistic! A company that can enable elegantly will (someday) be able to drive elegantly. Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? With a single click? Think proactive. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate users, social networks are forced to become wireless, mission-critical. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "interactive" really mean? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. We often deploy seamless content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-commerce but our power to facilitate. We will facilitate the term "virally-distributed". We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize vertically than to e-enable wirelessly.