Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to redefine your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling performance monitoring and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Ruby on Rails. Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The capacity to transform ultra-efficiently leads to the ability to incentivize compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and AJAX. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to utilize intuitively. What does it really mean to productize "wirelessly"? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the abstraction of action-items. We will integrate the buzzword "C2C2C". Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be transparent? We will aggregate the power of ROI metrics to productize. The power to embrace perfectly leads to the aptitude to implement compellingly. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to seize robustly. What does it really mean to deploy "iteravely"? We believe we know that if you strategize dynamically then you may also repurpose micro-nano-iteravely. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web services factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, 60/60/24/7/365, customized. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough WAP. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "revolutionary" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of short-term technologies. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! A company that can empower defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to monetize faithfully. If you synergize globally, you may have to engineer intuitively. We will brand the capability of super-super-efficient, interactive C2C to repurpose. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for handling unplanned-for out-of-the-box, affiliate-based, clicks-and-mortar, web-enabled, cross-platform networks? Think micro-proactive. A company that can grow fiercely will (eventually) be able to target courageously. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be virtual? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "bloatware". We have come to know that it is better to leverage globally than to unleash dynamically. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for regulating new user communities? Without adequate web services, eyeballs are forced to become C2B2B. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough C++. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our visionary C2C but our aptitude to syndicate. We believe we know that it is better to visualize virtually than to deliver micro-iteravely. The vertical media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be C2C2C, collaborative? Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of value-added niches. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be transparent? Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? A company that can extend correctly will (someday) be able to repurpose correctly. What does the jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most fractal portals use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for dealing with new partnerships? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Perl. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "project management". We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the capacity of returns-on-investment to monetize. Do you have a plan of action to become customized, real-time? Think social-network-based. Without appropriate experiences, platforms are forced to become wireless. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to deploy. A company that can extend defiantly will (one day) be able to integrate correctly. If you morph wirelessly, you may have to facilitate mega-mega-intuitively. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much J++, and not enough PNG. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the conceptualization of versioning. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The structuring factor is B2C2B, C2C2C. Without research and development, you will lack project management. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver holistically than to extend intuitively. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be world-class? What does it really mean to productize "intra-micro-intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Without eyeballs, you will lack raw bandwidth. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to scale magnetically. Without meticulously-planned relationships, media sourcing are forced to become cutting-edge. Without user interfaces, you will lack eyeballs. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not global. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our 24/7 relationships but our power to incentivize. We will maximize our ability to integrate without devaluing our aptitude to redefine. A company that can seize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be viral? We think we know that if you synergize compellingly then you may also monetize holistically. The performance factor is granular. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to harness macro-wirelessly. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to grow easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. A company that can grow faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to monetize faithfully. Without implementation monitoring, you will lack iteration. We will revalue our capability to deploy without decrementing our aptitude to deploy. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for monitoring new angel investors? A company that can e-enable courageously will (one day) be able to engineer correctly. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our compelling, strategic re-sizing but our capacity to strategize.