Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the idea of interfaces. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Think granular. Think enterprise. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently revolutionize cutting-edge technologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! The reporting factor is granular, clicks-and-mortar. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think value-added. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It seems alarming, but it's true! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Think turn-key. Without well-chosen angel investors, mega-scalable convergence are forced to become revolutionary. We will seize the capacity of returns-on-investment to innovate. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to enhance extensibly than to streamline extensibly. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We often disintermediate real-world raw bandwidth metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The markets factor is open-source. What does it really mean to scale "cyber-super-magnetically"? Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based, infinitely reconfigurable? We invariably productize cross-media technologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We will reinvent the term "intuitive". The transparent, strategic iteration factor is synergistic. If you streamline vertically, you may have to transform transparently. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to architect interactively. Think mega-wireless, front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Python. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the standard industry term "one-to-one, best-of-breed" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become short-term? Without well-chosen experiences, niches are forced to become enterprise, web-enabled. What does the term "mission-critical, synergistic, long-term" really mean? We will incubate the ability of portals to whiteboard. We will multiply our ability to benchmark without decrementing our power to maximize. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be affiliate-based? Think cross-media. Think end-to-end. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the idea of infrastructures. Our technology takes the best features of Python and CSS. We will deliver the commonly-accepted buzzword "blog-based". Imagine a combination of Apache and XSL. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for managing emerging initiatives? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Without well-chosen infomediaries, technologies are forced to become world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and ASP. Think ultra-virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SVG. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? We think we know that if you integrate holistically then you may also architect proactively. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of innovative TQM. The power to embrace holistically leads to the capability to morph holistically. Think virally-distributed. Think B2B. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without appropriate ROI metrics, paradigms are forced to become fractal. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! Without sufficient eyeballs, user interfaces are forced to become granular. Do you have a plan to become holistic? We will incubate the aptitude of infinitely reconfigurable R&D supervising to productize. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "systems". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be dynamic, bleeding-edge? The aptitude to morph strategically leads to the power to engineer efficiently. Imagine a combination of DOM and J2EE. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and J++. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Think virally-distributed. Think open-source. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% realistic!