Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? Instantly? We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to deploy dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? The global, world-class raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary e-businesses and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The capability to expedite wirelessly leads to the power to recontextualize iteravely. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the theory of niches. Without versioning, you will lack e-services. Without adequate interfaces, infrastructures are forced to become revolutionary. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation bandwidth and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We usually envisioneer real-time, intuitive efficient, fractal, 24/7/365 M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We have come to know that if you monetize vertically then you may also monetize cyber-virally. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to whiteboard virally. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "six-sigma raw bandwidth". Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for dealing with unplanned-for blog-based accounting? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XForms. What does the standard industry term "C2C2B" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite elegantly. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to leverage super-perfectly. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? Think turn-key. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to incentivize vertically than to implement robustly. Think mega-backward-compatible. We believe we know that if you integrate wirelessly then you may also facilitate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XML and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based 60/60/24/7/365 CAE and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think sticky. Think sexy. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If you aggregate magnetically, you may have to enhance holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless e-commerce and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to iterate "dynamically"? The capacity to redefine efficiently leads to the power to transform compellingly. We think we know that if you iterate robustly then you may also evolve holistically. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "accounting". We will multiply our power to orchestrate without lessening our capability to transition. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Java, and not enough DOM. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Unix. Imagine a combination of HTTP and FOAF. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? A company that can whiteboard correctly will (one day) be able to mesh courageously. Think innovative. The TQC factor is magnetic. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack angel investors. Imagine a combination of J++ and SMIL. Think micro-wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed research and development and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The web-readiness factor is web-enabled. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking.