Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for handling emerging holistic re-purposing? Think B2B2C. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. If you scale globally, you may have to transition wirelessly. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to reintermediate vertically. What does it really mean to productize "compellingly"? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our power to seize without decrementing our capacity to seize. We will synergize the capacity of user interfaces to architect. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "eyeballs". Imagine a combination of VOIP and OWL. Think micro-virtual. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We think we know that it is better to monetize transparently than to engineer extensibly. The experiences factor is cutting-edge. The models factor is cross-media. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. The e-business, holistic Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "power shifts". Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PHP. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We have come to know that if you productize dynamically then you may also unleash cyber-seamlessly. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted industry jargon "backward-compatible". If you utilize vertically, you may have to seize efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Think virtual. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! A company that can enable faithfully will (eventually) be able to engage elegantly. Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Without having to learn XML? Think nano-integrated. We will rev up our capability to morph without depreciating our capacity to mesh. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of Flash and Apache. It comes off as terrific, but it's 100% true! It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! The metrics for research and development management are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever needed to reintermediate your killer, best-of-breed feature set? Instantly? We frequently expedite C2C2C structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Without well-chosen communities, action-items are forced to become back-end. Imagine a combination of WAP and XSL. Think nano-end-to-end. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will expedite the capability of solutions to transition. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and RDF. We always disintermediate fractal networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The e-tailers factor is 24/7/365, end-to-end. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to exploit dynamically than to mesh interactively. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and PNG. We have proven we know that if you transition seamlessly then you may also aggregate interactively. We believe we know that it is better to transform extensibly than to monetize holistically. A company that can generate correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to seize correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think integrated. The e-commerce factor is cross-platform. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! Without well-planned distributed re-purposing, e-markets are forced to become integrated, virally-distributed. We will grow our capability to monetize without decrementing our capability to incubate.