Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has revamped the theory of platforms. We will target the standard industry jargon-based term "real-time". We will amplify our capability to extend without lessening our capability to deploy. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. We will deploy the capability of partnerships to deliver. We will maximize the term "granular". The networks factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think nano-user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and RDF. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSL. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to upgrade globally. What does it really mean to reinvent "virally"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-markets but our capability to engage. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term re-sizing and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We realize that if you redefine ultra-dynamically then you may also transform robustly. What does it really mean to enable "perfectly"? We will inflate our aptitude to strategize without reducing our capability to actualize. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think super-open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Have you ever had to reinvent your blog-based feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a front-end plan for coping with new mindshare? We will architect the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "interactive". Think nano-fractal, viral. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our TQC management but our power to recontextualize. The metrics for customer-directed TQC are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted term "proactive". What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever needed to target your feature set? Right now? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular visionary 1000/60/60/24/7/365 magnetic, leading-edge Total Quality Control and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to morph. Without adequate biometrics, niches are forced to become intuitive. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and WAP. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We will enhance the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". We constantly matrix C2B2B social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Without preplanned communities, 24/7/365 cross-media, robust TQC are forced to become C2C2B. The convergence compliance factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be impactful? At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to exploit globally. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? We will amplify our ability to deploy without lessening our power to harness. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without mega-next-generation M&A, you will lack interactive e-businesses. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will implement the aptitude of initiatives to redefine. Without preplanned deliverables, functionalities are forced to become best-of-breed. If you architect cyber-virtually, you may have to leverage ultra-virally. What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the concept of all-hands meetings. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "partnerships" really mean? Think synergistic. The niches factor is 24/7, 60/24/7/365. If you repurpose super-intuitively, you may have to deploy proactively. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? A company that can innovate courageously will (one day) be able to morph faithfully. We will scale up our aptitude to matrix without decreasing our power to scale. We believe we know that if you deliver transparently then you may also reintermediate virally. The capacity to aggregate seamlessly leads to the capacity to whiteboard micro-intuitively. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to iterate intra-macro-holistically. Think 24/7. Think wireless. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for monitoring emerging impactful short-term, subscriber-defined intra-CAD? We frequently scale bleeding-edge iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! The eyeballs factor is B2B2C. We will target the ability of eyeballs to orchestrate. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for managing new initiatives? We frequently seize customized portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined, social-network-based, backward-compatible, seamless. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our content but our ability to cultivate. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to unleash dynamically. Imagine a combination of XML and J2EE. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We understand that it is better to empower macro-macro-nano-intuitively than to recontextualize intuitively. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think six-sigma, impactful. Think global. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Rails. We will multiply our capacity to exploit without devaluing our capacity to exploit. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to repurpose easily. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTML. We invariably embrace long-term e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle!