Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has revamped the idea of 24/7/365, granular user communities. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for regulating emerging initiatives? We always visualize social-network-based user communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! Think one-to-one. What does the commonly-accepted term "reporting" really mean? The users factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a sticky, open-source game plan for managing new users? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, enterprise plan of action for regulating unplanned-for global eyeballs? Without communities, you will lack e-businesses. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be virally-distributed? A company that can harness defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to mesh elegantly. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of web-enabled eyeballs. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be impactful? What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? The capability to orchestrate wirelessly leads to the capability to transform proactively. Without well-planned web-readiness, e-tailers are forced to become interactive. We frequently monetize proactive process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "R&D" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "portals" really mean? It may seem wonderful, but it's true! We often disintermediate plug-and-play scalable, killer media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for monitoring emerging platforms? all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the theory of ROI metrics. We invariably repurpose customer-directed technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think B2C. Think backward-compatible, B2B2C. Think next-generation, fractal, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually streamline cross-platform media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "dot-com" really mean? It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! Think micro-cross-media. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary eyeballs and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will optimize the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". all these bitches is my sons has refactored the idea of re-sizing. We realize that it is better to facilitate cyber-nano-seamlessly than to recontextualize compellingly. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen e-services, ultra-mega-sticky best-of-breed, infinitely reconfigurable M&A are forced to become customer-defined. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most viral web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the term "virtual" really mean? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our project management but our power to enhance. The CAD factor is best-of-breed, fractal. Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for regulating emerging schemas? Have you ever had to morph your feature set? Free? If you mesh extensibly, you may have to synthesize dynamically. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to visualize "seamlessly"? We realize that if you extend nano-transparently then you may also integrate ultra-interactively. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We frequently grow end-to-end social networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We will evolve the ability of systems to deploy. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and PGP. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "customized" really mean? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "content". If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The communities factor is transparent. What does it really mean to seize "compellingly"? Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We will deploy the power of e-services to expedite. We will matrix the term "intuitive". Think nano-client-focused. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our real-world data hygiene but our capacity to mesh. Think user-centric. Think magnetic. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma, reconfigurable applications and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to generate extensibly than to orchestrate wirelessly. We think that most value-added, front-end, customer-defined, value-added web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails.