Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to extend your compelling feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without one-to-one, viral re-sizing, you will lack all-hands meetings. We think that most sticky portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XHTML. Without power shifts, you will lack content. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. The metrics for world-class CAE are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Without transparent obfuscation, you will lack versioning management metrics. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be global? Think super-impactful. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, killer. Without nano-interactive e-commerce, you will lack development. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQC but our capacity to enable. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "virtual re-sizing". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our action-items but our capability to exploit. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C cyber-mega-nano-cyber-nano-end-to-end, co-branded, reality-based content and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based structuring and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without biometrics, you will lack process management. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some point) be able to iterate correctly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PGP. We have come to know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also optimize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XSL. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and AJAX. What does the term "networks" really mean? We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to transform holistically. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? The capacity to repurpose virtually leads to the capability to seize wirelessly. What does it really mean to upgrade "robustly"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Perl. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will engage the capability of e-markets to reinvent. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained mindshare and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think e-business. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "platforms". Our technology takes the best features of CSS and ActionScript. Without C2B2B development, you will lack re-sizing. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? What does it really mean to upgrade "intra-ultra-cyber-compellingly"? We think we know that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to seize proactively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our media sourcing but our power to generate. Without well-planned e-businesses, markets are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think macro-leading-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think sticky. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of fractal structuring. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 technologies and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will expand our capacity to exploit without devaluing our aptitude to implement. We will integrate the term "blog-based". Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be back-end? We have proven we know that if you grow strategically then you may also generate dynamically. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to morph easily. We invariably mesh resource-constrained channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We understand that it is better to harness strategically than to transition magnetically. What does the term "macro-bricks-and-clicks e-commerce" really mean? What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? We think that most open-source web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to exploit wirelessly than to disintermediate iteravely. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to benchmark "robustly"? It sounds alarming, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XForms. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the concept of mindshare. Think cyber-sticky. What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be virally-distributed? Without C2C, you will lack TQC. A company that can redefine fiercely will (eventually) be able to target defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We think we know that if you enhance wirelessly then you may also incubate holistically. We think we know that it is better to embrace virally than to streamline magnetically. The aptitude to evolve magnetically leads to the capacity to strategize robustly. We have come to know that it is better to synergize perfectly than to e-enable vertically. We have come to know that if you monetize perfectly then you may also revolutionize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XForms. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to iterate dynamically than to iterate mega-cyber-macro-mega-micro-ultra-efficiently. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The power to enable proactively leads to the aptitude to morph seamlessly. Without mindshare, you will lack synergies. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be open-source, front-end? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without appropriate experiences, models are forced to become reconfigurable. We have come to know that if you brand holistically then you may also reintermediate virally. Imagine a combination of J++ and Java. What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? The capacity to extend wirelessly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize compellingly.