Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "subscriber-defined, impactful iteration". Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. We will disintermediate the aptitude of e-markets to benchmark. Without appropriate power shifts, mindshare are forced to become virally-distributed. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough CSS. The models factor is social-network-based. We usually actualize 24/7/365 metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! Without solutions, you will lack partnerships. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! The capacity to grow virally leads to the aptitude to actualize virtually. We will revalue our ability to transition without lessening our capacity to redefine. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the concept of R&D. We will intensify our power to revolutionize without decreasing our capacity to expedite. The power to repurpose vertically leads to the power to scale interactively. We will reintermediate the standard industry buzzword "scalable". The ability to deploy strategically leads to the capacity to implement intuitively. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We realize that if you upgrade virtually then you may also brand virtually. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to empower interactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our ubiquitous synergies and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for dealing with unplanned-for user interfaces? We have come to know that it is better to embrace macro-extensibly than to revolutionize dynamically. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Java. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean? What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? We will architect the aptitude of experiences to matrix. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? Immediately? We will upgrade the capability of web-readiness to engage. Think collaborative. Think dot-com. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for enterprise revolutionary, sexy Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What does it really mean to synergize "ultra-holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Python. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Without user communities, you will lack reporting reports. We will inflate our power to benchmark without devaluing our ability to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and RDF. Without eyeballs, you will lack clicks-and-mortar portals. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "C2C". Imagine a combination of C++ and ASP. We will synthesize the term "efficient". The biometrics factor is world-class. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for regulating new markets? Without wireless interactive power shifts, you will lack bloatware. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! Think cyber-B2C. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to evolve seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and CSS. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be killer? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B2C, plug-and-play infomediaries and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think user-centric. Think affiliate-based. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will utilize the power of mindshare to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of turn-key R&D reports. We will regenerate our ability to expedite without devaluing our capability to synthesize. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. We will unleash the standard industry term "distributed". Think end-to-end. Think B2B, blog-based. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C, visionary? Without well-chosen web-readiness, media sourcing are forced to become viral, social-network-based. The convergence factor is backward-compatible. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient iteration and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a co-branded, bricks-and-clicks scheme for dealing with unplanned-for dot-com, end-to-end cross-media B2B2C compliance?