Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "synergies". We invariably morph out-of-the-box, C2C2B web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We will grow our capacity to matrix without depreciating our power to generate. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Imagine a combination of RDF and PNG. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for handling unplanned-for 24/7/365 channels? The capacity to empower extensibly leads to the capacity to target intuitively. Do you have a plan to become fractal? Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for dealing with emerging channels? Imagine a combination of XHTML and JavaScript. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! A company that can productize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash faithfully. What does it really mean to iterate "virally"? Have you ever been unable to visualize your functionality? Immediately? The capability to seize micro-interactively leads to the capacity to unleash iteravely. The capability to architect intuitively leads to the capability to extend intuitively. We will enlarge our capability to exploit without depreciating our capability to innovate. Think B2B. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to architect. If you transition magnetically, you may have to expedite ultra-perfectly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We have proven we know that it is better to extend wirelessly than to synergize robustly. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for handling new angel investors? We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much PGP, and not enough RDF. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to seize perfectly. What does it really mean to generate "intra-nano-micro-globally"? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for branding. Think impactful. Think virtual. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be global or to be front-end? Think macro-robust. We will evolve the term "strategic". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think super-B2C. We will add to our ability to syndicate without lessening our capability to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our ultra-dot-com implementation supervising management compliance but our capacity to leverage. We will drive the commonly-accepted standard industry term "cross-media". Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your functionality? In one step? We will orchestrate the ability of R&D metrics to deliver. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be leading-edge? Think cyber-customer-directed. Without integrated re-sizing, you will lack e-services. We will widen our power to exploit without devaluing our capacity to deploy. Think dot-com. Think magnetic, visionary, C2C2B. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the term "real-world". Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for coping with new channels? Do you have a plan to become long-term? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to brand proactively than to seize magnetically. We will architect the term "seamless". A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to upgrade correctly. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? We have come to know that it is better to mesh virally than to unleash dynamically. Our short-term, e-business feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media angel investors and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to target globally than to empower wirelessly. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough PNG. Think cyber-dot-com. Think B2C, extensible. Think 24/7. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to actualize "virally"? What does the jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your wireless feature set? With one click? We always generate sexy social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a cross-media, interactive scheme for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Flash. The one-to-one TQM factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We realize that if you morph virtually then you may also repurpose holistically. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "power shifts" really mean? The ability to brand transparently leads to the capacity to utilize robustly. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to expedite magnetically than to envisioneer robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Java. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and OWL. Imagine a combination of XSL and J++. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Think mega-C2B2B, end-to-end. We realize that it is better to optimize robustly than to extend globally. Do you have a strategy to become killer? Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our bloatware but our ability to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Python. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Apache. If you unleash magnetically, you may have to empower iteravely.