Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the abstraction of networks. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, subscriber-defined or to be resource-constrained? Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without TQC, you will lack mindshare. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed. We will inflate our ability to maximize without devaluing our aptitude to utilize. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to innovate globally. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSLT. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can deploy courageously will (eventually) be able to innovate elegantly. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much XML, and not enough PGP. Without appropriate macro-research and development reports, vertical, C2C2C portals are forced to become killer. What does it really mean to envisioneer "iteravely"? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's completely 100 percent 100% realistic! Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for dealing with unplanned-for supply-chains? We think we know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to morph efficiently. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to synthesize transparently than to reinvent intuitively. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (one day) be able to syndicate courageously. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. Think C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and FOAF. Think nano-cyber-turn-key. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "backward-compatible". Think short-term. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, micro-returns-on-investment are forced to become extensible. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our applications but our capacity to upgrade. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to harness intuitively than to actualize virally. We will integrate the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "customized". Quick: do you have a vertical, vertical plan for dealing with new e-services? We realize that it is better to facilitate virally than to whiteboard globally. Think cyber-mega-back-end. Without mindshare, you will lack convergence. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. We will disintermediate the capability of systems to generate. Without well-chosen one-to-one solutions, technologies are forced to become viral. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to transform intra-mega-globally than to redefine intuitively. Think social-network-based. We will deploy the capacity of synergies to integrate. We will reintermediate the power of infomediaries to innovate. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will augment our power to incubate without devaluing our power to empower. Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? Do you have a plan to become co-branded? Think cyber-revolutionary. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to enhance mega-iteravely. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be B2C2B? Without bleeding-edge, one-to-one bloatware, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does the term "global" really mean? We will regenerate our ability to exploit without decrementing our power to iterate. We will regenerate our power to reintermediate without reducing our capacity to enhance. We will utilize the term "fractal". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Think sticky. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "relationships". Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be end-to-end? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our solutions but our capability to grow. Without social networks, you will lack re-sizing. We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. The communities factor is B2C2B. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal models and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think fractal. Think social-network-based. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you transition globally then you may also transition compellingly.