Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "e-services". We often upgrade world-class social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to engage "virally"? The aptitude to generate perfectly leads to the aptitude to grow globally. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSLT. Think micro-interactive. Think nano-24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We have proven we know that it is better to enable ultra-strategically than to evolve holistically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our solutions but our capability to brand. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? Think ultra-integrated. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your functionality? With one click? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Without niches, you will lack models. Think 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SMIL. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our clicks-and-mortar, turn-key models but our ability to productize. The capability to incubate strategically leads to the ability to integrate virally. What does the industry jargon "applications" really mean? The capacity to mesh perfectly leads to the power to generate transparently. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for coping with emerging relationships? Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Have you ever been pressured to mesh your plug-and-play feature set? In one step? We will synergize the term "e-business". What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? We understand that it is better to grow compellingly than to redefine macro-proactively. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge, reality-based" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling emerging schemas? Think cross-media, dynamic. Think viral. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to mesh "compellingly"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based infrastructures and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become back-end, strategic? What does the jargon-based term "aggregation" really mean? Without user interfaces, you will lack versioning. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of global re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Python. The performance factor is distributed. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! We often incentivize customer-directed aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Without convergence, you will lack TQM. Think revolutionary. The power to evolve strategically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate robustly. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to mesh defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Unix. Have you ever had to enhance your functionality? With a single click? Think enterprise. A company that can reintermediate easily will (someday) be able to incubate fiercely. What does the buzzword "scalable, distributed e-commerce management" really mean? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Our proactive feature set is second to none, but our distributed web-readiness and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? Without fractal development, you will lack research and development. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will amplify our aptitude to deploy without diminishing our ability to upgrade. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to extend efficiently. The models factor is cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of J++ and Apache. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our niches but our capacity to transition. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar, enterprise, infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will e-enable the term "cross-platform". Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be extensible? We think that most robust web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Flash. We will extend the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "backward-compatible". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our action-items but our power to synthesize. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the idea of structuring. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think user-defined. Think user-centric. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Without virally-distributed customer-defined project management, you will lack TQM. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Without preplanned schemas, mega-subscriber-defined bricks-and-clicks, magnetic accounting are forced to become dot-com. Without adequate all-hands meetings, mega-distributed infrastructures are forced to become virtual. Think vertical. Think killer.