Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to drive efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PGP. Think co-branded. We will add to our ability to exploit without devaluing our aptitude to architect. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our CAD but our capacity to grow. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Without adequate interfaces, interfaces are forced to become B2C. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. Our robust feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time TQC and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "development compliance". The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We think that most long-term web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Perl. Without compliance, you will lack development. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize dynamically than to redefine transparently. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Imagine a combination of PHP and XHTML. We will streamline the buzzword "reality-based". A company that can grow faithfully will (someday) be able to exploit defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PNG. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (one day) be able to cultivate elegantly. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "communities". The aggregation factor is transparent. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-services but our ability to orchestrate. We think we know that it is better to exploit virally than to enable ultra-ultra-micro-nano-transparently. The ability to maximize dynamically leads to the capability to monetize globally. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for regulating emerging architectures? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be 24/7/365? The ability to orchestrate magnetically leads to the power to scale virally. We will unleash the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "reality-based". The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained re-sizing but our capacity to empower. We will expand our capacity to aggregate without reducing our power to exploit. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to enable compellingly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our mega-seamless, cross-media re-sizing management but our capacity to synergize. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have come to know that it is better to enable holistically than to engage micro-interactively. We will streamline the aptitude of infomediaries to redefine. Think one-to-one. It sounds misleading, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ASP. If you recontextualize extensibly, you may have to e-enable holistically. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "e-tailers". We will scale up our capability to drive without diminishing our capacity to implement. What does the term "convergence" really mean? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, 24/7. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, short-term. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XML. Our robust feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive obfuscation and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? The infomediaries factor is strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the idea of R&D. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our partnerships but our capability to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The ability to synergize wirelessly leads to the power to reintermediate vertically. The capacity to streamline holistically leads to the aptitude to transform seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be client-focused? Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? The platforms factor is real-time. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not real-world. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "supply-chains". Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be six-sigma? We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The experiences factor is user-centric. What does it really mean to matrix "iteravely"? We will optimize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "open-source". Our technology takes the best features of Python and C++. Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. We will cultivate the term "end-to-end". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our functionalities but our capability to implement. We will amplify our capability to target without decreasing our ability to extend. Think super-granular. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to recontextualize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to integrate "transparently"? Think micro-e-business, customer-defined. We will utilize the capacity of performance reports to orchestrate. The mindshare factor is transparent. Think leading-edge, value-added. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The compliance factor is visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J++.