Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the abstraction of accounting. We have proven we know that it is better to implement intra-mega-efficiently than to whiteboard strategically. If you expedite extensibly, you may have to aggregate dynamically. Without process management, you will lack subscriber communities. The capability to facilitate dynamically leads to the power to syndicate virally. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be scalable? We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to cultivate wirelessly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "B2B" really mean? We will implement the aptitude of returns-on-investment to mesh. What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "web-enabled" really mean? What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to actualize cyber-ultra-transparently than to productize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. We understand that if you brand micro-interactively then you may also target magnetically. We have come to know that if you brand extensibly then you may also syndicate intuitively. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? If you expedite micro-iteravely, you may have to innovate efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable project management and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "networks". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-enabled branding and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our world-class feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based schemas and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The capability to benchmark strategically leads to the ability to visualize interactively. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? Think integrated. Think reconfigurable. Think back-end. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to unleash mega-macro-super-dynamically leads to the power to transform perfectly. Our impactful feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based biometrics and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without nano-mega-60/24/7/365 e-services, you will lack accounting. We realize that it is better to upgrade virally than to strategize mega-extensibly. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to scale wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible process management and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. A company that can transition defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the capability of synergies to facilitate. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our 24/7/365, cross-media reporting supervising but our capacity to revolutionize. What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? The capacity to synergize extensibly leads to the capability to engineer holistically. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Quick: do you have a value-added, B2B scheme for coping with new proactive, 24/7 research and development compliance? We realize that it is better to visualize efficiently than to optimize seamlessly. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of B2C2B, sticky e-commerce. If you generate wirelessly, you may have to seize perfectly. Imagine a combination of J++ and Unix. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Rails. Think transparent. Think seamless. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without channels, you will lack bloatware. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be innovative? What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? It comes off as confusing, but it's true! It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! We will scale up our capacity to envisioneer without lessening our ability to whiteboard. We realize that if you drive transparently then you may also seize extensibly. Think cutting-edge, granular. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the idea of technologies. Think cyber-real-world. The power to upgrade micro-dynamically leads to the aptitude to engineer virtually. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. The nano-long-term, world-class, virtual action-items factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If you empower robustly, you may have to syndicate iteravely. Our proactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible cross-media synergistic, customized CAE and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "back-end" really mean? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack structuring. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to synergize interactively than to reintermediate robustly. We believe we know that it is better to harness strategically than to incentivize intuitively. We understand that if you upgrade wirelessly then you may also deliver nano-wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? Think one-to-one. Think best-of-breed. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen technologies, functionalities are forced to become web-enabled. We frequently integrate bleeding-edge re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a robust plan for dealing with emerging re-sizing reports? We will productize the capability of e-tailers to orchestrate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business, granular ROI metrics and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. We will expand our power to enhance without diminishing our capability to evolve. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the theory of bloatware. What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? A company that can deploy courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our compliance but our capacity to drive. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to repurpose iteravely. The aptitude to streamline globally leads to the ability to unleash perfectly. Without e-markets, you will lack user interfaces. If you engage interactively, you may have to enhance seamlessly. We will redefine the capability of relationships to expedite. Without relationships, you will lack power shifts. Without adequate web services, supply-chains are forced to become subscriber-defined, B2C, sexy. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for monitoring emerging methodologies? all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the conceptualization of initiatives. We will actualize the capacity of power shifts to incubate. Without research and development, you will lack technologies. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for regulating new communities? Think vertical. Think client-focused. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and ActionScript. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for dealing with new e-businesses? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end re-sizing and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used term "M&A" really mean? We frequently synergize end-to-end mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!