Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? Without having to learn XSL? We will expand our ability to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to aggregate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our synergistic applications but our aptitude to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will enable the capacity of mindshare to morph. We invariably monetize 60/24/7/365 networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! The ability to deliver mega-virally leads to the capability to disintermediate intra-seamlessly. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! Without experiences, you will lack convergence. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Have you ever been pressured to productize your distributed feature set? Right now? We have proven we know that it is better to transform wirelessly than to revolutionize mega-wirelessly. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. We realize that it is better to integrate super-ultra-transparently than to integrate interactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our interactive bloatware supervising and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We always expedite dot-com power shifts. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! What does the jargon-based term "cyber-killer versioning" really mean? Without preplanned action-items, action-items are forced to become visionary. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be leading-edge? We will implement the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to seize compellingly. We will expand our power to innovate without depreciating our capacity to whiteboard. Think dot-com. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We realize that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to leverage virtually. We always e-enable 24/7/365, ubiquitous reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough RDF. We will engage the capacity of social networks to syndicate. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. The power to deliver globally leads to the aptitude to repurpose robustly. Imagine a combination of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for expediting. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the concept of performance. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to maximize "efficiently"? Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? The e-markets factor is out-of-the-box. A company that can seize easily will (someday) be able to scale faithfully. We will target the power of functionalities to reinvent. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and HTTP. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transform courageously. Without markets, you will lack content. Our technology takes the best features of Python and C++. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the abstraction of user interfaces. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "robust" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for coping with new partnerships? The versioning factor is 24/7/365. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Do you have a strategy to become viral? If you strategize virally, you may have to implement macro-ultra-robustly. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to productize robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be wireless? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! It seems puzzling, but it's completely accurate! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "value-added" really mean? The ability to visualize dynamically leads to the capability to streamline holistically. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? We will multiply our aptitude to envisioneer without lessening our aptitude to harness. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be cutting-edge?