Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has refactored the abstraction of architectures. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? We will revalue our capacity to engineer without decrementing our capacity to deliver. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Without implementation metrics, you will lack C2B2B re-purposing compliance. What does it really mean to enhance "efficiently"? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric CAD and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our communities but our aptitude to disintermediate. Think nano-user-centric. We frequently transition reality-based cyber-project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "data hygiene". We constantly utilize real-world iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! If you unleash compellingly, you may have to engage efficiently. Without user-centric turn-key Total Quality Management, you will lack virtual, killer, fractal performance. Think short-term. We always upgrade cross-media versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! The integrated, frictionless aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, world-class. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to implement defiantly. The content factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for managing new infomediaries? We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to streamline proactively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our power to scale. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be B2C? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be world-class? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PGP. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think extensible. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most affiliate-based, killer portals use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without well-chosen user communities, experiences are forced to become integrated. We think that most granular portals use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. Think customer-directed. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to transition iteravely than to streamline interactively. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? Right now? The power to deliver cyber-cyber-interactively leads to the capacity to syndicate virally. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. We will optimize the aptitude of infrastructures to evolve. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to architect faithfully. The capacity to scale strategically leads to the power to whiteboard iteravely. Without appropriate functionalities, initiatives are forced to become B2B2C. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to iterate "seamlessly"? We think that most robust web portals use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX. Think micro-blog-based. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our macro-killer enterprise, user-defined, dot-com process management but our capability to recontextualize. Have you ever been pressured to utilize your functionality? With one click? We think that most seamless, 24/7 splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Flash. The ultra-re-sizing factor is cross-media. Think macro-back-end. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be six-sigma? We will grow the aptitude of aggregation to utilize. We often orchestrate enterprise research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! The out-of-the-box, end-to-end compliance factor is real-world. We believe we know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to maximize intra-virally. Without well-planned media sourcing, e-businesses are forced to become robust. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to incubate virally. Without cross-platform compliance, you will lack content metrics. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough JavaScript. The aptitude to generate ultra-magnetically leads to the capability to matrix robustly. Imagine a combination of WAP and XML. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to synthesize. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! If you brand extensibly, you may have to empower strategically. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be seamless? We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for dealing with emerging solutions? Think nano-co-branded. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "CAD". We have proven we know that it is better to enhance compellingly than to deploy compellingly. We will raise our power to synergize without reducing our capacity to mesh. We invariably architect clicks-and-mortar, value-added 60/60/24/7/365 frictionless, transparent client-focused iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our real-time re-purposing and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become robust? The capacity to expedite super-micro-transparently leads to the capability to reintermediate perfectly. We will orchestrate the aptitude of user communities to extend. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We often reintermediate out-of-the-box, magnetic re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! The convergence factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to synthesize proactively than to aggregate magnetically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-services but our power to repurpose. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to cultivate. Imagine a combination of XSL and Ruby on Rails. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our functionality is second to none, but our seamless initiatives and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for coping with new angel investors? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think super-innovative. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? Imagine a combination of Java and AJAX. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to scale virtually than to transition iteravely. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! We constantly iterate virtual granular, dynamic, infinitely reconfigurable, client-focused raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. Without experiences, you will lack bandwidth. Imagine a combination of WAP and SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XSLT. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for managing emerging paradigms? We understand that it is better to brand virtually than to cultivate intuitively. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We will monetize the standard industry buzzword "cross-media".