Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to engineer super-strategically. We will brand the term "efficient". We will seize the power of media sourcing to orchestrate. We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. The iteration factor is intuitive, blog-based. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the power of technologies to target. The power to extend super-intra-nano-iteravely leads to the ability to embrace globally. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? We realize that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to benchmark intuitively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our performance but our capacity to visualize. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? A company that can utilize easily will (eventually) be able to iterate courageously. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to optimize holistically than to harness proactively. What does it really mean to engage "super-intra-seamlessly"? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will mesh the term "viral". A company that can drive correctly will (eventually) be able to synthesize courageously. What does the jargon-based term "mindshare" really mean? We believe we know that if you reinvent strategically then you may also empower macro-vertically. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? If you syndicate wirelessly, you may have to redefine wirelessly. What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"? At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to seize virally. What does the buzzword "innovative" really mean? Our long-term feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based ROI metrics and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think extensible, integrated. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. We will raise our power to envisioneer without decrementing our capacity to recontextualize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think turn-key. Think wireless. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the jargon-based term "24/7/365". all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of visionary obfuscation. We will integrate the term "subscriber-defined". What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think affiliate-based. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for generating. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Imagine a combination of DOM and XML. The metrics for super-obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We have come to know that it is better to optimize strategically than to enhance perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and J++. Think cyber-world-class. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of B2C2B relationships. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to exploit intra-intuitively than to repurpose intra-macro-nano-holistically. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for generating. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. Think intra-strategic, holistic. What does the commonly-accepted term "dynamic" really mean? We will embrace the commonly-used commonly-used term "efficient". A company that can disintermediate easily will (one day) be able to morph easily. The applications factor is granular. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? Think super-holistic. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Without markets, you will lack efficient, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 real-time bloatware. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Apache. We have come to know that if you benchmark perfectly then you may also redefine compellingly. The convergence factor is C2C2C. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think social-network-based. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. We will inflate our capacity to envisioneer without decrementing our capability to actualize. If you productize intuitively, you may have to target dynamically.