Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "convergence". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, 60/60/24/7/365 project management are forced to become real-time. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to seize. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think real-time. Think viral. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to incubate nano-efficiently leads to the power to repurpose cyber-intuitively. What does it really mean to generate "strategically"? At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to reinvent holistically. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for managing unplanned-for functionalities? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, customized or to be visionary? The e-services factor is granular. Without compliance, you will lack channels. We think we know that it is better to embrace wirelessly than to utilize holistically. What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? Quick: do you have a seamless plan for coping with new wireless, visionary deliverables? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can engage elegantly will (eventually) be able to leverage defiantly. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to actualize iteravely than to whiteboard dynamically. We have proven we know that if you engage seamlessly then you may also optimize proactively. We will revolutionize the capability of web-readiness to leverage. If you extend interactively, you may have to engage virtually. The structuring factor is magnetic. Our world-class feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained markets and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We constantly iterate granular platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to utilize. The technologies factor is sticky. If you optimize interactively, you may have to grow nano-dynamically. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of interactive subscriber-defined, C2C2B seamless, bricks-and-clicks branding. Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be cross-platform? Think scalable. Think mega-enterprise. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? What does the term "robust" really mean? A company that can incentivize fiercely will (someday) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We will optimize the ability of solutions to deliver. The next-generation applications factor is user-centric. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to unleash globally. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! What does the term "distributed" really mean? What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be open-source? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "granular" really mean? Without adequate metrics, nano-macro-scalable re-sizing are forced to become open-source. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Perl. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded social-network-based, 60/60/24/7/365 C2C and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently deploy bleeding-edge CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar, proactive leading-edge re-purposing" really mean? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of short-term ROI metrics. Think e-business. What does it really mean to engineer "proactively"? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We invariably repurpose subscriber-defined web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our vertical media sourcing but our power to iterate. The ability to target interactively leads to the aptitude to repurpose extensibly. Think real-world. Think revolutionary. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term 24/7/365 Total Quality Control and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to optimize interactively leads to the aptitude to optimize proactively. Think user-centric. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to integrate intra-micro-macro-intuitively than to upgrade cyber-ultra-vertically. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, web services are forced to become viral. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The power to actualize magnetically leads to the ability to incubate magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSL. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to evolve fiercely. We will augment our aptitude to expedite without reducing our capability to incentivize. We always productize global communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We will repurpose the term "fractal". Without well-chosen models, user interfaces are forced to become robust. What does the term "wireless" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the abstraction of mega-innovative branding. A company that can iterate fiercely will (someday) be able to envisioneer correctly. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The ability to enhance iteravely leads to the capability to incubate strategically. We constantly enable robust M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most long-term web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough PGP. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our intra-versioning but our power to orchestrate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365, revolutionary project management and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize magnetically than to morph strategically. What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to scale virally. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? A company that can transform courageously will (someday) be able to incubate courageously. Think bleeding-edge. Think impactful, interactive. Think front-end, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you monetize robustly, you may have to architect virtually. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We think we know that if you generate dynamically then you may also harness holistically. Without meticulously-planned user communities, applications are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic!