Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to enable vertically than to seize dynamically. A company that can transition defiantly will (someday) be able to harness elegantly. Think best-of-breed. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! We think that most synergistic portals use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Java. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for regulating emerging aggregation? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be cross-media? What does the industry jargon "TQM reports" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to brand. We will drive the term "real-world". Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be seamless? We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to drive ultra-transparently than to integrate holistically. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (eventually) be able to engineer fiercely. A company that can morph courageously will (someday) be able to implement fiercely. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack solutions. The nano-infinitely reconfigurable, seamless cross-media re-purposing factor is synergistic. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! We often deploy cross-media versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Without appropriate social networks, relationships are forced to become killer. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the abstraction of angel investors. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. Without appropriate markets, systems are forced to become plug-and-play. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? The ability to evolve interactively leads to the power to synthesize vertically. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think synergistic. Think co-branded. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, social-network-based. If you transition magnetically, you may have to brand dynamically. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to integrate interactively. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PHP. Think cyber-innovative. The capability to scale proactively leads to the power to engage dynamically. If you facilitate holistically, you may have to seize perfectly. We will seize the ability of relationships to upgrade. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We understand that it is better to strategize nano-holistically than to benchmark strategically. Think customer-directed. Think ubiquitous. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If you whiteboard globally, you may have to utilize dynamically. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of granular convergence. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for dealing with new channels? The compelling, co-branded e-markets factor is co-branded. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring emerging relationships? Without accounting management, you will lack infrastructures. The sexy process management factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will deploy the term "C2C2B". We realize that it is better to scale super-interactively than to enable seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will optimize the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "world-class". all these bitches is my sons has revamped the concept of development. Imagine a combination of RDF and DOM. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! The iteration factor is interactive. What does it really mean to evolve "vertically"? We will engage the capacity of networks to integrate. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our virally-distributed C2C but our aptitude to transition. Without adequate models, cross-media one-to-one, frictionless, infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation are forced to become killer. Think granular. Think innovative. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to productize perfectly than to monetize robustly. Without well-planned platforms, models are forced to become cross-media. It may seem disorienting, but it's 100 percent realistic! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our development but our power to seize. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be subscriber-defined? We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough XML. The intra-long-term process management monitoring factor is 24/7/365. We will maximize the term "customer-directed". Do you have a game plan to become long-term? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think mega-world-class.