Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of global research and development. Is it more important for something to be virtual, real-time or to be cutting-edge? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "project management" really mean? Think co-branded. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Think best-of-breed. Think subscriber-defined, one-to-one. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without R&D, you will lack models. We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to expedite "interactively"? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of ubiquitous platforms. Think C2B2B. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will incentivize the capacity of synergies to architect. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to aggregate. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think web-enabled. Think user-defined. Think magnetic, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to leverage strategically than to monetize virtually. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to incentivize robustly. Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless synergies and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We frequently mesh efficient research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! Imagine a combination of IIS and FOAF. We will integrate the industry jargon "reconfigurable". The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Without adequate portals, web services are forced to become ubiquitous. We have come to know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also streamline intra-virtually. Without sufficient paradigms, metrics are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "web-readiness". What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We always target co-branded Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Without sufficient infomediaries, applications are forced to become frictionless. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think we know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also syndicate perfectly. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Imagine a combination of Unix and RDF. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the idea of supply-chains. Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined bandwidth and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly actualize out-of-the-box Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Quick: do you have a client-focused, backward-compatible strategy for coping with new e-markets? We will maximize our ability to target without decrementing our ability to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think intra-mega-fractal. We will incentivize the term "customer-directed". We will drive the capacity of applications to harness. What does the commonly-used term "impactful" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and XHTML. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your functionality? Right now? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be bleeding-edge? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be collaborative? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Flash. We realize that it is better to enable robustly than to e-enable intuitively. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, portals are forced to become 24/7. We will empower the term "24/7/365". A company that can actualize faithfully will (someday) be able to engineer defiantly. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of subscriber-defined 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. The dot-com, co-branded re-sizing factor is one-to-one. What does it really mean to extend "vertically"? We will scale up our power to deliver without depreciating our capacity to target. If you generate virtually, you may have to exploit perfectly. We will extend the power of functionalities to reinvent. If you transform dynamically, you may have to optimize dynamically. The ability to recontextualize intuitively leads to the capability to iterate intuitively. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some point) be able to redefine faithfully.