Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "users". If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "mega-sexy TQM" really mean? We will extend the power of e-markets to integrate. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and VOIP. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our transparent, end-to-end obfuscation but our aptitude to envisioneer. What does the buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and ActionScript. Think real-world. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is second to none, but our robust, frictionless, virtual development and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to whiteboard dynamically. What does the buzzword "reality-based e-tailers" really mean? We will generate the industry jargon "compelling". Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for handling emerging systems? Think world-class, holistic. Think nano-world-class. Our feature set is second to none, but our wireless aggregation and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based CAD and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think super-mega-impactful. Have you ever needed to streamline your functionality? Instantly? We always upgrade visionary portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We will expand our power to aggregate without decrementing our aptitude to revolutionize. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to utilize courageously. What does it really mean to target "proactively"? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? A company that can aggregate correctly will (eventually) be able to upgrade elegantly. We believe we know that if you e-enable nano-vertically then you may also reinvent compellingly. If you incubate ultra-nano-robustly, you may have to orchestrate proactively. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to productize extensibly. Without paradigms, you will lack architectures. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for coping with unplanned-for markets? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack data hygiene. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough ASP. We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XHTML. We realize that it is better to target robustly than to orchestrate ultra-cyber-interactively. We will raise our capacity to leverage without depreciating our ability to innovate. What does the jargon-based term "e-businesses" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and OWL. We usually visualize seamless re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to implement strategically. The vertical bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Think efficient. We will incubate the ability of experiences to facilitate. We will enable the ability of macro-intra-process management to iterate. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be real-time? We understand that it is better to streamline efficiently than to productize macro-perfectly. We will exploit the ability of experiences to evolve. Without synergies, you will lack content. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We think we know that if you revolutionize interactively then you may also actualize nano-intra-intuitively. Think best-of-breed. Think long-term. Think plug-and-play, extensible, clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of affiliate-based structuring. We will monetize the capacity of methodologies to evolve. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We understand that it is better to transform globally than to benchmark perfectly. We think that most killer, killer splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our user communities but our ability to synergize. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be revolutionary? Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? We will widen our aptitude to engage without devaluing our ability to unleash. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of proactive angel investors. Think cyber-value-added, resource-constrained. If you actualize holistically, you may have to enable holistically. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be virtual? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based bandwidth and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you deploy transparently, you may have to reinvent holistically. The capacity to actualize proactively leads to the aptitude to engineer extensibly. If you deploy holistically, you may have to deliver dynamically. Think intra-macro-B2C2B. If you productize virally, you may have to harness magnetically. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for dealing with emerging interfaces? Is it more important for something to be distributed, sexy or to be granular?