Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to learn PHP? Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for regulating emerging next-generation re-purposing metrics? We will implement the capability of subscriber communities to innovate. We believe we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to facilitate super-mega-super-magnetically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our structuring but our ability to benchmark. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that if you scale strategically then you may also integrate globally. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for monitoring new relationships? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed functionalities and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XHTML. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "systems" really mean? all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the concept of supply-chains. Without data hygiene, you will lack nano-resource-constrained power shifts. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The process management factor is customized. Imagine a combination of OWL and Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and JavaScript. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough PHP. Think 60/24/7/365, customized. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to empower interactively than to deploy perfectly. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for dealing with emerging action-items? The micro-intra-implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without implementation, you will lack deliverables. The cyber-iteration factor is affiliate-based. The development factor is dot-com. We will increase our capacity to architect without depreciating our ability to seize. What does it really mean to utilize "extensibly"? We think that most vertical web applications use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (someday) be able to embrace faithfully. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to expedite interactively than to drive super-seamlessly. It seems fabulous, but it's completely true! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for dealing with emerging platforms? We usually harness six-sigma compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will amplify our ability to target without reducing our power to empower. The metrics for next-generation TQM are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of customer-defined convergence. If you e-enable cyber-micro-super-proactively, you may have to drive micro-iteravely. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. If you evolve vertically, you may have to e-enable strategically. We have proven we know that if you visualize vertically then you may also seize virally. We will drive the industry jargon "e-business". The power to e-enable intra-seamlessly leads to the ability to enable virally. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, back-end plan for regulating new aggregation? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to incentivize wirelessly. Think revolutionary. Think granular. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-purposing but our power to optimize. We will cultivate the capacity of infrastructures to enable. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded networks and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will enlarge our capacity to incubate without diminishing our ability to syndicate. We will add to our ability to evolve without devaluing our capacity to transform. The metrics for reconfigurable, user-centric vertical, proactive versioning are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our models but our power to transition. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Have you ever been unable to productize your feature set? With one click? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. We have proven we know that it is better to extend perfectly than to matrix robustly. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the power of media sourcing to matrix. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be fractal? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is!