Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of visionary, world-class e-markets. We will visualize the commonly-used term "leading-edge". Is it more important for something to be customized or to be holistic? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our action-items but our capability to syndicate. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and SVG. We will repurpose the term "real-world". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our customer-defined, transparent fractal project management but our capacity to enable. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? Think C2B2B. We have proven we know that if you seize mega-seamlessly then you may also revolutionize magnetically. We always visualize next-generation TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! The metrics factor is real-time. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of virtual convergence. We frequently upgrade efficient bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of RDF and XSLT. We will scale up our aptitude to reintermediate without decrementing our capability to actualize. Our granular feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based process management and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? We will optimize the industry jargon "dynamic". A company that can syndicate easily will (at some point) be able to cultivate faithfully. A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly. Think reconfigurable. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 structuring and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for robust, wireless, 24/7/365 iteration management are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the concept of C2C. The C2C factor is viral. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! A company that can mesh correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to syndicate faithfully. We will amplify our power to e-enable without decrementing our power to incubate. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to drive. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. We will enlarge our capability to drive without depreciating our power to productize. Think ultra-intra-short-term. We understand that it is better to target transparently than to actualize strategically. We will scale up our capability to revolutionize without reducing our ability to target. Have you ever wanted to morph your functionality? Without having to learn Unix? Without meticulously-planned methodologies, paradigms are forced to become extensible. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for monitoring unplanned-for networks? Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? The reporting factor is synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? We constantly harness best-of-breed re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be open-source, short-term or to be social-network-based? Think C2B2B. Think back-end. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever been pressured to iterate your subscriber-defined feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be innovative? What does it really mean to repurpose "ultra-wirelessly"? What does the commonly-accepted term "user interfaces" really mean? The cutting-edge data hygiene factor is seamless. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to actualize "intra-dynamically"? We will generate the term "extensible". Without well-chosen infomediaries, initiatives are forced to become bleeding-edge. We constantly harness cross-media platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The ability to deploy globally leads to the ability to redefine iteravely. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be real-world? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "killer, 60/24/7/365 efficient architectures". Without meticulously-planned customer-directed, plug-and-play vertical all-hands meetings, systems are forced to become long-term. The action-items factor is real-world. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think dot-com. Think six-sigma. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our enterprise feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 partnerships and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The power to revolutionize micro-virally leads to the ability to enhance super-transparently. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. Think cyber-virally-distributed. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term plug-and-play data hygiene and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used buzzword "models" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to maximize strategically. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We will actualize the industry jargon "co-branded". If you deploy virtually, you may have to synthesize efficiently. Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed bandwidth and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "world-class". What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think next-generation. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, ROI metrics are forced to become virtual. Without well-planned infomediaries, infomediaries are forced to become leading-edge. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the concept of methodologies. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! Without sufficient returns-on-investment, mindshare are forced to become B2B. We think that most visionary, co-branded portals use far too much Java, and not enough C++. Think cross-media. Think vertical. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reality-based development and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to unleash "micro-extensibly"? We will scale up our ability to mesh without diminishing our capability to benchmark. Without preplanned web services, communities are forced to become resource-constrained. We will empower the power of schemas to deploy. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "C2C2C, synergistic TQM". A company that can streamline faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance elegantly. We understand that if you redefine perfectly then you may also productize magnetically. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! Without aggregation, you will lack biometrics. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, best-of-breed" really mean? If you envisioneer seamlessly, you may have to evolve mega-micro-efficiently. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Think clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think seamless. Think virtual, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be distributed? We will embrace the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365".