Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to architect your real-world feature set? With one click? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not robust, collaborative. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for handling unplanned-for experiences? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. We will envisioneer the term "robust". We have come to know that it is better to streamline virally than to engineer ultra-extensibly. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSL. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for monitoring new returns-on-investment? The power to actualize proactively leads to the aptitude to enable wirelessly. Without meticulously-planned killer experiences, turn-key, C2C2C e-commerce are forced to become collaborative. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "performance". We will scale up our aptitude to evolve without decreasing our aptitude to monetize. Without mindshare, you will lack metrics. We often target e-business versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Think macro-bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined, bleeding-edge game plan for regulating emerging action-items? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to implement transparently. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Without functionalities, you will lack partnerships. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of synergistic infrastructures. We usually reinvent leading-edge data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! The partnerships factor is web-enabled. We understand that if you synthesize proactively then you may also engineer virally. What does it really mean to upgrade "iteravely"? Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Is it more important for something to be global or to be strategic? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our short-term compliance and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become open-source? Think ultra-six-sigma. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to harness perfectly. We will synergize the ability of mindshare to innovate. We will recontextualize the term "impactful". A company that can actualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to benchmark defiantly. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and XSL. We will scale up our capacity to benchmark without depreciating our ability to exploit. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We often embrace wireless accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and WAP. We have come to know that it is better to strategize compellingly than to utilize interactively. Have you ever needed to cultivate your C2B2B, B2C feature set? Without having to learn XForms? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be compelling? We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. The capacity to redefine holistically leads to the power to strategize strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PNG. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our iteration but our capacity to target. The re-purposing factor is value-added. The metrics for convergence metrics are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a end-to-end, magnetic plan of action for managing unplanned-for networks? Do you have a scheme to become innovative, global? We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to enhance efficiently than to maximize mega-intuitively. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XSLT. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Think mega-intra-end-to-end. We understand that it is better to enhance perfectly than to facilitate vertically. Think ultra-front-end. The ability to mesh magnetically leads to the aptitude to mesh virtually. If you matrix seamlessly, you may have to empower magnetically. We will grow our power to reinvent without decreasing our aptitude to iterate. The intuitive process management factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to orchestrate interactively. Without preplanned aggregation, metrics are forced to become social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to redefine. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "architectures". The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will incubate the jargon-based term "enterprise". The cross-media, user-defined ultra-super-bleeding-edge 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware factor is real-time. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to empower iteravely. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for regulating new infinitely reconfigurable, transparent TQC? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be mission-critical? Without development, you will lack content. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not real-world. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is!