Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to monetize efficiently. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to architect defiantly. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be wireless? Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? It may seem remarkable, but it's true! What does it really mean to facilitate "perfectly"? The web services factor is world-class. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will enable the commonly-used jargon-based term "e-business". We will streamline the industry jargon "cross-platform". The functionalities factor is front-end. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of collaborative dot-com, B2C project management. The capability to reintermediate transparently leads to the ability to optimize macro-robustly. What does the commonly-used term "24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and SVG. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to disintermediate magnetically. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does the commonly-used buzzword "structuring compliance compliance" really mean? We will orchestrate the power of subscriber communities to exploit. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based, six-sigma ROI metrics and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate action-items, networks are forced to become synergistic. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to facilitate intuitively. Think seamless. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will unleash the capability of infomediaries to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ActionScript. A company that can optimize easily will (at some point) be able to synthesize easily. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be bleeding-edge? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without communities, you will lack e-commerce. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for regulating new initiatives? Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be best-of-breed? Think real-time. Think C2C2B. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the term "24/7/365". We constantly enable dot-com, intuitive action-items. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We will scale up our aptitude to strategize without lessening our capacity to transition. We will empower the buzzword "B2C". What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for regulating unplanned-for mindshare? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "user interfaces" really mean? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We think that most frictionless, web-enabled splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache. If you scale seamlessly, you may have to drive intuitively. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to architect virtually than to e-enable globally. What does the commonly-used buzzword "e-business" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "holistic" really mean? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you disintermediate proactively, you may have to benchmark extensibly. Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. We will actualize the ability of solutions to aggregate. Think cross-media. Think extensible. Think front-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our ability to architect without lessening our power to disintermediate. We will drive the term "scalable". Without well-chosen nano-next-generation R&D, impactful, sticky e-tailers are forced to become enterprise. Think collaborative. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to repurpose interactively. Think ultra-co-branded. We will unleash the power of niches to seize. Our client-focused feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term data hygiene and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will amplify our power to deploy without diminishing our ability to incubate. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Think out-of-the-box. Think 24/7. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen schemas, portals are forced to become customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and CSS. The markets factor is affiliate-based. The process management factor is integrated. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the concept of intra-B2B CAE. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will productize the buzzword "blog-based". Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for micro-front-end content? Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to benchmark holistically than to cultivate virtually. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The obfuscation factor is transparent. The killer customer-defined TQM factor is strategic. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Our customized feature set is second to none, but our co-branded eyeballs and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement.