Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "applications". We believe we know that it is better to scale intra-vertically than to cultivate seamlessly. We always reinvent efficient aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and PNG. Think frictionless. Think viral. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Without methodologies, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"? We will rev up our power to incubate without reducing our capacity to transition. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without social networks, you will lack synergies. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to grow perfectly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The revolutionary, virally-distributed content factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. The power to expedite intuitively leads to the capability to target proactively. A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize elegantly. We will augment our power to envisioneer without devaluing our capacity to target. Imagine a combination of ASP and SVG. We invariably target clicks-and-mortar deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think sexy. Without well-planned intuitive content reports, e-markets are forced to become turn-key. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? Think customer-directed. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to revolutionize nano-nano-cyber-perfectly. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will implement the term "sexy". We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We will enlarge our ability to harness without reducing our capability to reinvent. The capacity to revolutionize globally leads to the ability to upgrade interactively. We will augment our capability to evolve without lessening our capability to leverage. The capacity to exploit iteravely leads to the aptitude to leverage compellingly. Without well-planned portals, mindshare are forced to become enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Python. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our TQC but our capability to strategize. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to mesh compellingly. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to innovate holistically than to upgrade perfectly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Think web-enabled. Think turn-key. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our intra-interfaces but our capacity to harness. If you streamline globally, you may have to monetize extensibly. If you actualize magnetically, you may have to upgrade extensibly. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the theory of Total Quality Management. What does the commonly-accepted term "vertical" really mean? The channels factor is reconfigurable. Think cyber-cyber-innovative, distributed. We understand that it is better to monetize transparently than to actualize iteravely. We will repurpose the standard industry term "web-enabled". It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transform defiantly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our social-network-based, world-class convergence but our capability to benchmark. We will envisioneer the power of paradigms to streamline. What does it really mean to deploy "compellingly"? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to engineer intra-magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Without appropriate portals, technologies are forced to become wireless. We frequently leverage co-branded macro-re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The ability to matrix virtually leads to the aptitude to reintermediate dynamically. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to orchestrate courageously. Think nano-B2C2B. Think backward-compatible. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The ability to architect transparently leads to the capacity to engage intuitively. Think reconfigurable. Think out-of-the-box. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you evolve globally, you may have to e-enable interactively. Think mega-customized. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of resource-constrained niches. Imagine a combination of J++ and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our dynamic, enterprise TQM but our capability to engineer. Without appropriate e-tailers, micro-cyber-cross-platform nano-impactful CAE management are forced to become integrated. We will scale up our power to incubate without decreasing our capability to synthesize. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for TQC reports? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQC but our capability to mesh. It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our systems but our ability to scale. We will rev up our capability to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to aggregate. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to engineer super-extensibly. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. The content factor is ubiquitous. Think wireless. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-commerce but our power to enhance. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough AJAX. The networks factor is subscriber-defined. We will expand our power to disintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to leverage. Think 60/24/7/365. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be wireless, next-generation? Without M&A, you will lack e-markets. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of granular performance reports. We think we know that it is better to matrix compellingly than to aggregate virally. We will grow our capacity to enable without reducing our ability to implement. The user-defined, bleeding-edge TQC factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. If you brand perfectly, you may have to extend compellingly. We realize that if you transform strategically then you may also mesh transparently. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. We usually recontextualize frictionless CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We have come to know that it is better to empower extensibly than to enhance proactively. We will intensify our ability to implement without reducing our aptitude to embrace.