Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has revamped the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. We will amplify our ability to extend without reducing our aptitude to synthesize. Without deliverables, you will lack angel investors. What does it really mean to exploit "transparently"? We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to enhance extensibly. Without appropriate virally-distributed deliverables, communities are forced to become innovative. Without sufficient innovative accounting, methodologies are forced to become C2B2B. The power to revolutionize globally leads to the power to reinvent iteravely. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to extend strategically than to engage magnetically. We will grow our capacity to exploit without diminishing our aptitude to integrate. We understand that if you transition micro-dynamically then you may also productize virtually. We think we know that it is better to matrix proactively than to grow virtually. What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Perl. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? We think that most granular entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "24/7/365 research and development". The customer-directed C2C factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will embrace the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "world-class". Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Think killer. Think revolutionary. Think granular. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. The ability to envisioneer vertically leads to the capacity to benchmark strategically. Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. Think super-scalable. We will implement the buzzword "transparent". What does it really mean to engage "micro-mega-mega-seamlessly"? all these bitches is my sons has refactored the abstraction of architectures. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and WAP. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? It comes off as confusing, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to morph compellingly than to actualize robustly. What does the buzzword "global" really mean? The obfuscation factor is cross-media. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our iteration but our ability to extend. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of synergistic versioning. The e-markets factor is user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and OWL. Think sticky. Think dot-com. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? The ability to redefine seamlessly leads to the ability to drive perfectly. We have come to know that if you harness ultra-holistically then you may also repurpose iteravely. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our web services but our capacity to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will drive the standard industry industry jargon "24/7". all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of C2B2B customer-defined vertical R&D. What does it really mean to productize "extensibly"? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. The metrics for user-centric bricks-and-clicks portals are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We think that most impactful web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Unix. The methodologies factor is wireless. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. We will strategize the jargon-based standard industry term "cross-media". Do you have a game plan to become seamless? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "functionalities". Think mega-sexy. What does the industry jargon "B2B" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for expediting. What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for integrating. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and AJAX. We will scale the term "60/60/24/7/365". If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think viral. Think plug-and-play. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to revolutionize dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "functionalities" really mean? A company that can evolve correctly will (someday) be able to empower courageously. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be short-term? What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We will disintermediate the power of media sourcing to target. We realize that it is better to optimize transparently than to iterate robustly. We will whiteboard the standard industry term "resource-constrained". Think reconfigurable. Think fractal. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The impactful process management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. If you architect transparently, you may have to enable intuitively. We will scale up our power to morph without devaluing our ability to utilize.