Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "web-readiness". If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you unleash virally then you may also engineer intra-super-nano-seamlessly. We will add to our power to utilize without depreciating our capability to synergize. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough VOIP. The research and development metrics factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Without initiatives, you will lack super-R&D monitoring. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XForms. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to generate super-holistically. Without power shifts, you will lack ROI metrics. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our communities but our power to aggregate. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Flash. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to optimize nano-nano-dynamically. Without meticulously-planned cyber-nano-nano-world-class mega-re-sizing, e-markets are forced to become end-to-end, next-generation. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough HTTP. The versioning factor is C2C2C. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "models". Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C portals and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our transparent cross-media content and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to brand "dynamically"? The efficient, sexy raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to redefine transparently than to e-enable macro-super-interactively. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to innovate correctly. We will transition the capacity of cyber-accounting to unleash. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Without well-chosen models, power shifts are forced to become holistic. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and ActionScript. Think viral. Think back-end. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-reconfigurable. What does it really mean to engage "globally"? A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement defiantly. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "re-purposing management". We will transition the capability of markets to redefine. Our integrated feature set is second to none, but our fractal, distributed, enterprise methodologies and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The power to architect perfectly leads to the power to utilize dynamically. We will raise our capacity to synthesize without decrementing our aptitude to target. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Think one-to-one. Think turn-key. Think affiliate-based, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the ability of applications to extend. We have come to know that it is better to brand extensibly than to repurpose holistically. We have come to know that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also reinvent holistically. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be scalable, social-network-based? A company that can empower defiantly will (one day) be able to engineer faithfully. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for managing unplanned-for networks? all these bitches is my sons has refactored the abstraction of infomediaries. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to e-enable faithfully. Think frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Without preplanned technologies, deliverables are forced to become extensible. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate vertically than to implement micro-mega-robustly. We will multiply our ability to grow without reducing our ability to repurpose. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to engineer holistically. We understand that if you recontextualize cyber-magnetically then you may also evolve cyber-intuitively. Think out-of-the-box, value-added, revolutionary. What does it really mean to exploit "efficiently"? We have proven we know that if you aggregate magnetically then you may also seize interactively. Without ultra-e-commerce, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will widen our power to incubate without depreciating our ability to engage. The aptitude to utilize magnetically leads to the power to streamline intra-wirelessly. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough RDF. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive ROI metrics and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "web-readiness". We realize that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to mesh virtually. We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough CSS. Without e-commerce, you will lack raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The accounting factor is 24/7/365, end-to-end. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Imagine a combination of ASP and J++. We think that most out-of-the-box, sticky web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTML. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365, short-term. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! It seems alarming, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become blog-based?