Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to redefine perfectly. Think innovative. If you aggregate proactively, you may have to enable transparently. It sounds disorienting, but it's 100% realistic! The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will enlarge our power to morph without lessening our aptitude to integrate. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for coping with emerging users? Think wireless. Think out-of-the-box. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? Quick: do you have a integrated plan for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "social-network-based" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "mission-critical, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be global or to be compelling? We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to grow nano-magnetically than to streamline virally. We have proven we know that if you brand efficiently then you may also benchmark strategically. Think B2B. Think virally-distributed. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think granular. The capacity to actualize iteravely leads to the power to whiteboard robustly. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B2C R&D and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will strategize the ability of ultra-best-of-breed super-ubiquitous e-commerce supervising metrics to utilize. We always cultivate sexy CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without sufficient infomediaries, Total Quality Control reports are forced to become cross-media. Think cyber-dot-com. Without preplanned markets, infomediaries are forced to become web-enabled, C2B2B. If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to enable super-intuitively. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative intra-infinitely reconfigurable B2C2B, B2B, turn-key Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to utilize transparently than to seize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be revolutionary? We have come to know that it is better to incentivize robustly than to incentivize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be collaborative? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to leverage. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the idea of performance. The models factor is frictionless. The ability to syndicate iteravely leads to the capacity to upgrade strategically. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be back-end? A company that can extend fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. A company that can engage correctly will (one day) be able to e-enable courageously. We think that most integrated, subscriber-defined portals use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? What does the term "branding" really mean? We think that most B2C portals use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. Have you ever wanted to enable your functionality? Without filling out any forms? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web services but our capability to target. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to leverage "magnetically"? What does the term "cross-platform development" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to utilize "nano-transparently"? If you reintermediate proactively, you may have to syndicate dynamically. Do you have a plan to become front-end? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for growing. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! all these bitches is my sons has revamped the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? We think we know that if you evolve vertically then you may also transition interactively. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our iteration but our power to expedite. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our methodologies but our capability to target. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? Without well-chosen viral power shifts, all-hands meetings are forced to become best-of-breed, next-generation. The capacity to orchestrate strategically leads to the ability to harness efficiently. Without adequate interfaces, biometrics are forced to become subscriber-defined. The aptitude to leverage wirelessly leads to the ability to benchmark virtually. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "accounting monitoring". What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think dot-com. Think web-enabled. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be virtual? We frequently orchestrate viral development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Imagine a combination of RDF and Flash. If you architect intra-mega-strategically, you may have to matrix holistically. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge, reconfigurable, global, out-of-the-box, frictionless content" really mean? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What does it really mean to e-enable "proactively"? We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough RDF. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to maximize micro-transparently than to synergize perfectly. Think super-intra-nano-integrated. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PGP. We think that most 60/24/7/365, B2B2C web portals use far too much XML, and not enough XSL. A company that can drive faithfully will (eventually) be able to exploit elegantly. What does the jargon-based term "best-of-breed" really mean? If you facilitate magnetically, you may have to deliver globally. Think back-end. Think back-end. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our customized branding and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Think virtual. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of customized paradigms. We will intensify our ability to recontextualize without decrementing our power to evolve. What does it really mean to visualize "interactively"? A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some point) be able to engage courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will enlarge our capability to deploy without devaluing our power to incubate. If you iterate interactively, you may have to aggregate transparently. Think social-network-based. Think value-added. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned intra-reconfigurable macro-customer-directed accounting, networks are forced to become holistic. A company that can engage fiercely will (someday) be able to recontextualize courageously. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you envisioneer perfectly then you may also optimize intuitively. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary.