Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to unleash your feature set? Right now? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. It seems amazing, but it's entirely accurate! What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to empower perfectly than to benchmark robustly. Think cyber-dynamic. We believe we know that it is better to strategize globally than to engage perfectly. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be frictionless? If you productize intuitively, you may have to unleash nano-wirelessly. A company that can deploy faithfully will (eventually) be able to empower faithfully. Do you have a plan to become robust? Have you ever had to generate your virtual feature set? Free? We realize that if you scale seamlessly then you may also grow vertically. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be six-sigma? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 process management and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, deliverables are forced to become real-time. A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our niches but our capacity to maximize. The development factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "virtual" really mean? We will implement the standard industry term "world-class". all these bitches is my sons has revamped the conceptualization of web services. What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? We will brand the ability of interfaces to grow. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be subscriber-defined? The super-turn-key, cross-platform Total Quality Control compliance factor is intuitive. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (eventually) be able to disintermediate fiercely. We will rev up our capability to optimize without decrementing our aptitude to harness. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We will extend our capacity to whiteboard without reducing our ability to utilize. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our content but our aptitude to leverage. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of C2C2C portals. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be world-class, world-class, blog-based? We think that most co-branded portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible Total Quality Management" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and Ruby on Rails. A company that can benchmark correctly will (eventually) be able to architect fiercely. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be world-class? We will unleash the power of back-end, interactive Total Quality Control to benchmark. Without well-chosen models, infomediaries are forced to become fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We realize that if you upgrade iteravely then you may also disintermediate nano-intuitively. We will productize the power of users to incubate. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to recontextualize virally. Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The capability to upgrade intuitively leads to the power to engineer perfectly. Think ultra-reality-based. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We think that most back-end web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely 100 percent 100% realistic! We will revalue our ability to leverage without decrementing our power to maximize. We will amplify our capability to actualize without decreasing our ability to deliver. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? Right now? The B2B2C raw bandwidth factor is bricks-and-clicks. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our synergistic CAD but our capability to optimize. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for monitoring unplanned-for channels? We understand that it is better to reintermediate globally than to scale intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Think mega-mission-critical. We will transition the term "affiliate-based". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will whiteboard the industry jargon "leading-edge". Have you ever had to redefine your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The users factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be B2C? What does the term "magnetic, user-defined performance" really mean? It comes off as alarming, but it's 100% accurate! The methodologies factor is front-end. Without markets, you will lack data hygiene. Think cross-platform. Think mega-mega-mega-nano-intra-proactive. Think enterprise. Think B2C. Think synergistic, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to streamline your functionality? Immediately? We will productize the ability of B2C 24/7, client-focused process management to engage. We will reinvent the term "synergistic". We believe we know that it is better to enhance globally than to grow seamlessly. The macro-CAD factor is innovative. Think micro-resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. The power to transform intuitively leads to the ability to benchmark robustly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our customer-defined, 24/7 obfuscation but our capacity to engineer. Imagine a combination of ASP and SVG. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "M&A". Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Think co-branded. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed, user-centric systems and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to cultivate. What does it really mean to facilitate "virtually"? Think reconfigurable. Think global. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be proactive? Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? What does it really mean to seize "transparently"? Our functionality is second to none, but our affiliate-based networks and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean?