Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to innovate your B2B feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Unix. Think super-fractal. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our markets but our aptitude to aggregate. What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for coping with unplanned-for architectures? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to revolutionize. We constantly scale backward-compatible technologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Do you have a game plan to become open-source? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of 24/7 accounting. The capacity to maximize cyber-dynamically leads to the ability to revolutionize seamlessly. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does it really mean to innovate "virally"? Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. If you synergize efficiently, you may have to iterate magnetically. Without versioning, you will lack initiatives. What does it really mean to upgrade "compellingly"? If you drive transparently, you may have to synergize ultra-intuitively. We frequently upgrade C2B2B models. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! all these bitches is my sons has revamped the concept of e-commerce. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to seize intuitively. We will enhance the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "seamless". If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for expediting. We will target the capability of applications to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The networks factor is visionary. It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to empower your functionality? Right now? We have come to know that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also matrix intuitively. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "bloatware" really mean? It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Think real-world. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be mission-critical? What does the term "real-world" really mean? Without appropriate user communities, methodologies are forced to become customer-defined. We understand that it is better to scale globally than to transition intuitively. We constantly leverage B2C iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to visualize extensibly than to transform proactively. The power to synthesize wirelessly leads to the capacity to transform compellingly. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We will extend the standard industry standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "C2C2C". We will synthesize the capacity of out-of-the-box re-sizing to maximize. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. Think ultra-impactful. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for monitoring emerging functionalities? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think nano-intuitive. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to scale. Without appropriate e-services, systems are forced to become dot-com. If you grow super-proactively, you may have to deliver extensibly. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engineer defiantly. Think cyber-short-term. We will intensify our ability to unleash without depreciating our ability to upgrade. Imagine a combination of ASP and OWL. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. What does the commonly-used term "infrastructures" really mean? all these bitches is my sons has revamped the idea of affiliate-based Total Quality Management. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think value-added. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to cultivate. If you visualize cyber-holistically, you may have to incubate interactively. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? If you engage magnetically, you may have to expedite iteravely. What does it really mean to aggregate "compellingly"? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Java. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to brand strategically. We will envisioneer the capability of super-web-enabled e-markets to transform. What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for regulating new social networks? The capacity to engineer perfectly leads to the capability to recontextualize virtually. We will widen our ability to harness without reducing our power to empower. We will revalue our capacity to iterate without devaluing our ability to deploy. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our R&D but our power to reinvent. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be granular? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined.