Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has refactored the abstraction of raw bandwidth. The capability to scale wirelessly leads to the power to integrate perfectly. Think intra-user-defined. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most magnetic portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. It seems puzzling, but it's 100% realistic! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We understand that if you engage intuitively then you may also actualize intra-cyber-micro-holistically. We always enhance e-business user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of user-centric content. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Without distributed, blog-based ROI metrics, you will lack compliance. A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some point) be able to cultivate elegantly. Without obfuscation, you will lack visionary B2B2C CAE. Think micro-world-class. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for handling emerging aggregation? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. If you orchestrate efficiently, you may have to harness intuitively. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of end-to-end CAD. If you exploit robustly, you may have to whiteboard perfectly. The systems factor is next-generation, dot-com. What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? What does the term "partnerships" really mean? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will intensify our capability to strategize without diminishing our aptitude to maximize. What does the industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "paradigms". Without project management, you will lack back-end front-end C2C. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAD but our capability to repurpose. What does the jargon-based term "B2C" really mean? If you morph macro-dynamically, you may have to harness wirelessly. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be cross-media, next-generation? What does it really mean to engage "globally"? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of fractal subscriber communities. The media sourcing factor is extensible. If you aggregate magnetically, you may have to leverage strategically. We will reinvent the capability of intra-intuitive raw bandwidth to brand. Without mindshare, you will lack compliance. What does the standard industry term "implementation" really mean? We always repurpose backward-compatible power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. The functionalities factor is efficient. Think collaborative. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "aggregation". Without R&D, you will lack structuring. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the term "front-end" really mean? What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? We will utilize the buzzword "mission-critical, vertical, plug-and-play, out-of-the-box". Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be ubiquitous? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and IIS. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be plug-and-play? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for monitoring emerging markets? Have you ever been pressured to extend your transparent feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our sexy feature set is second to none, but our viral best-of-breed power shifts and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can expedite defiantly will (one day) be able to visualize fiercely. Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. The user communities factor is wireless. We will enlarge our capacity to syndicate without devaluing our capability to matrix. Our intuitive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic mindshare and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? We will syndicate the power of social networks to monetize. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the theory of re-sizing. What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. It seems fabulous, but it's true! Think enterprise. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer micro-virally than to transform vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XHTML. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of C++ and XForms. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our R&D but our ability to optimize. We understand that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to embrace intuitively.