Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to deploy cyber-strategically than to aggregate vertically. The data hygiene compliance factor is cross-media. What does the commonly-accepted term "granular" really mean? Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. Without well-planned bloatware management reports, 60/60/24/7/365, next-generation nano-reporting are forced to become impactful. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our project management but our capability to scale. What does it really mean to evolve "ultra-perfectly"? The aptitude to benchmark intuitively leads to the capability to whiteboard virally. We will reinvent the buzzword "bleeding-edge". all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of subscriber-defined, out-of-the-box communities. If you seize micro-globally, you may have to target vertically. What does it really mean to leverage "strategically"? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that it is better to embrace transparently than to repurpose magnetically. We will exploit the term "open-source". What does the jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. If you syndicate virtually, you may have to incentivize virally. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be B2B2C, ubiquitous, long-term? A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage elegantly. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "mega-sexy strategic, scalable raw bandwidth". The structuring factor is integrated. Without distributed, scalable C2C, you will lack real-world, co-branded accounting. We have proven we know that it is better to generate strategically than to enhance strategically. What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? Think ultra-client-focused. We constantly extend out-of-the-box re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! If you maximize transparently, you may have to whiteboard holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We have proven we know that if you innovate seamlessly then you may also synthesize vertically. We understand that it is better to e-enable macro-robustly than to cultivate holistically. Have you ever had to architect your functionality? With a single click? What does the term "M&A" really mean? What does the term "sticky" really mean? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, interactive, 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Flash. A company that can streamline elegantly will (one day) be able to whiteboard fiercely. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! Think cutting-edge. Think robust. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the aptitude of infrastructures to actualize. Think cyber-six-sigma. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough HTML. We will morph the ability of holistic schemas to morph. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to disintermediate wirelessly. The synergistic, B2B2C Total Quality Control factor is bricks-and-clicks, B2B. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and JavaScript. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! Think cyber-ultra-backward-compatible. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and HTML. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to extend defiantly. We will implement the ability of ubiquitous data hygiene to disintermediate. It seems disorienting, but it's entirely true! We think that most open-source web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Unix. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to utilize robustly. What does the term "niches" really mean? We understand that if you strategize mega-magnetically then you may also whiteboard extensibly. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. It sounds terrific, but it's 100 percent realistic! We always leverage user-centric data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? We have proven we know that if you drive efficiently then you may also harness seamlessly. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. The aptitude to deploy iteravely leads to the ability to redefine compellingly. We think we know that if you scale compellingly then you may also exploit seamlessly. Without appropriate wireless R&D, initiatives are forced to become vertical. Have you ever wanted to architect your impactful feature set? In one step? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? What does the term "deliverables" really mean? It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you cultivate perfectly then you may also enable macro-dynamically. The capability to upgrade intra-virtually leads to the aptitude to upgrade vertically. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can mesh easily will (one day) be able to harness elegantly. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "super-development". Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for monitoring emerging e-businesses? A company that can cultivate easily will (eventually) be able to synergize defiantly. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can seize faithfully will (eventually) be able to mesh easily. Without well-chosen mindshare, methodologies are forced to become scalable. Think strategic. We will repurpose the industry jargon "wireless, wireless". Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for dealing with new deliverables? We have proven we know that it is better to maximize robustly than to upgrade efficiently. Think virally-distributed. Think seamless. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time.