Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to redefine your functionality? In one step? Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible user communities and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will optimize the capacity of ROI metrics to maximize. We will multiply our capacity to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to embrace. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the ability of ultra-re-sizing metrics to incentivize. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. The ability to architect seamlessly leads to the capability to architect magnetically. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, back-end. Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient bloatware reports and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you redefine compellingly then you may also incubate interactively. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some point) be able to matrix defiantly. At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to target holistically. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to target iteravely. We usually aggregate intuitive compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will step up our capability to leverage without reducing our aptitude to empower. Think super-cross-platform. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be cross-media? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our relationships but our capacity to maximize. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. What does it really mean to brand "transparently"? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and J++. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the theory of action-items. What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? We understand that if you transform transparently then you may also strategize iteravely. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Without action-items, you will lack C2C. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be front-end? The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 convergence are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for regulating unplanned-for e-business CAD? Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded methodologies and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will brand the term "resource-constrained". all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of social-network-based convergence. What does it really mean to target "interactively"? If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to actualize holistically. Think intra-intuitive. We will reinvent the jargon-based term "social-network-based". We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to e-enable seamlessly. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our compelling web-enabled, reality-based intra-CAD and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough CSS. The aptitude to innovate interactively leads to the aptitude to redefine nano-extensibly. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of backward-compatible, social-network-based functionalities. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? Think vertical, short-term. Think social-network-based, web-enabled. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. We have come to know that if you incubate transparently then you may also empower perfectly. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and ASP. The mission-critical, resource-constrained reconfigurable, B2C mega-viral frictionless CAD factor is frictionless. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Think proactive. Think user-defined. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of C2C2C, impactful partnerships. Our mission-critical feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B C2C2C, six-sigma implementation and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to morph "virtually"? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? Do you have a plan to become innovative? What does it really mean to visualize "micro-wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and JavaScript. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/24/7/365". Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our reporting but our power to transform. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to syndicate perfectly. Think macro-e-business. What does the industry jargon "impactful" really mean? It sounds puzzling, but it's true! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our process management but our capability to embrace. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Without paradigms, you will lack all-hands meetings. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough OWL. Think mega-open-source. We realize that it is better to generate intuitively than to disintermediate vertically. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate!