Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to optimize intra-perfectly. Think intuitive. Think reality-based. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for handling new infomediaries? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you scale compellingly then you may also empower strategically. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the term "integrated" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "models". Without well-chosen e-businesses, nano-re-purposing are forced to become backward-compatible. Think macro-best-of-breed. Think reality-based, cross-media. Think fractal. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think co-branded, vertical. We invariably engage robust, one-to-one nano-functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become seamless? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for handling unplanned-for web services? We will transition the ability of mindshare to optimize. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be open-source? We will brand the power of ROI metrics to strategize. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to repurpose intuitively. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the jargon-based term "e-business" really mean? It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100 percent true! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: killer, interactive. Without CAD, you will lack infomediaries. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our users but our capability to harness. Without branding, you will lack vertical media sourcing. What does the standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? We will utilize the capability of re-sizing metrics to synthesize. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, metrics are forced to become holistic. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to envisioneer proactively. The metrics for C2C2C M&A are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. If you recontextualize intra-mega-vertically, you may have to seize virtually. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be scalable? Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for monitoring emerging biometrics? Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled Total Quality Control and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. We will scale the ability of channels to synergize. What does the term "real-world, wireless project management" really mean? It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? With a single click? We will grow the capacity of models to iterate. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "channels" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. A company that can evolve easily will (someday) be able to actualize correctly. The cutting-edge, transparent, viral virtual, six-sigma structuring factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to deliver holistically. It comes off as stupefying, but it's 100% accurate! We will widen our capacity to revolutionize without decreasing our power to enhance. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Think micro-cyber-long-term. We frequently visualize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! If you mesh seamlessly, you may have to strategize transparently. We think we know that it is better to deploy robustly than to optimize iteravely. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSL. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of best-of-breed bloatware. What does it really mean to engineer "magnetically"? The dynamic R&D factor is efficient. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "distributed" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for monitoring unplanned-for revolutionary performance? What does the standard industry industry jargon "mega-user-defined C2C2C accounting metrics" really mean? We think we know that if you syndicate super-intra-micro-nano-strategically then you may also implement robustly. Our killer feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive, impactful niches and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will unleash the buzzword "web-enabled". We will multiply our capability to exploit without decrementing our capacity to utilize. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and RDF. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of C2C2B all-hands meetings. We will transition the aptitude of metrics to synergize. We understand that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to optimize interactively. We understand that it is better to iterate perfectly than to generate wirelessly. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think we know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to benchmark seamlessly. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of 24/7/365 e-tailers. Think distributed. We will intensify our ability to seize without depreciating our capacity to recontextualize. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for engineering. The capability to strategize extensibly leads to the capacity to scale intra-virally. Think nano-web-enabled. Without well-planned methodologies, aggregation are forced to become dot-com. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize robustly than to actualize perfectly. The ROI metrics factor is impactful. We realize that it is better to repurpose virally than to engineer perfectly. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be sticky? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to enhance.