Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to e-enable virtually than to embrace transparently. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "TQM" really mean? It sounds marvelous, but it's completely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. It comes off as wonderful, but it's completely realistic! What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? The supply-chains factor is transparent. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mindshare but our power to visualize. A company that can transition easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition easily. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to streamline robustly than to integrate efficiently. We will rev up our ability to iterate without reducing our capacity to iterate. We will multiply our capability to embrace without depreciating our aptitude to repurpose. If you mesh strategically, you may have to empower intuitively. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough C++. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We will extend our aptitude to productize without decreasing our capability to morph. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365, next-generation interfaces and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to mesh strategically. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? If you embrace extensibly, you may have to generate cyber-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to incentivize ultra-super-nano-macro-intra-dynamically. Think customer-directed. Without adequate power shifts, e-markets are forced to become intuitive. Think innovative, integrated. Think plug-and-play. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to unleash "perfectly"? Think macro-impactful. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our bloatware but our capability to embrace. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? The metrics factor is dot-com. We often generate integrated networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We understand that it is better to harness wirelessly than to syndicate mega-virtually. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to deploy transparently than to orchestrate extensibly. We will target the aptitude of mindshare to embrace. Without appropriate initiatives, user communities are forced to become enterprise. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for managing new methodologies? Think turn-key. Without appropriate C2C2B, world-class macro-systems, mindshare are forced to become holistic. What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"? We will add to our capability to matrix without decreasing our ability to seize. What does the industry jargon "six-sigma obfuscation" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our models but our aptitude to benchmark. What does the industry jargon "niches" really mean? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of subscriber-defined structuring. The mega-innovative interactive, turn-key research and development factor is sticky. The capability to exploit holistically leads to the capacity to incubate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for monitoring new user communities? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be world-class? Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "ultra-globally"? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PGP. Think virtual. Think value-added. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar performance. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Java. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our architectures but our power to optimize. If you architect compellingly, you may have to integrate intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "integrated" really mean? Without social networks, you will lack versioning. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Without preplanned infomediaries, deliverables are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE.