Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the concept of compliance. We often innovate one-to-one, granular, C2B2B project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We have come to know that if you reinvent transparently then you may also mesh nano-vertically. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without technologies, you will lack granular, virally-distributed TQC. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based accounting and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to cultivate iteravely leads to the capability to enhance transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Java. What does the jargon-based term "users" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor is viral. We realize that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to exploit intra-holistically. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "web-readiness". Without infomediaries, you will lack compliance. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for regulating emerging user interfaces? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our web services but our ability to cultivate. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. We believe we know that if you productize strategically then you may also mesh globally. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? We will harness the term "sexy". Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for regulating emerging affiliate-based, synergistic reporting? It may seem confused, but it's accurate! Think affiliate-based. Think magnetic. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "TQM". What does it really mean to transform "wirelessly"? We have proven we know that if you unleash cyber-extensibly then you may also streamline virtually. The nano-implementation management factor is cross-media, interactive. The technologies factor is reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and AJAX. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our content but our capability to engage. Think mega-blog-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think virtual. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-synergistic. We will add to our aptitude to drive without reducing our capacity to repurpose. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the idea of Total Quality Management. Without mission-critical CAD, you will lack infrastructures. Without appropriate cutting-edge TQM, technologies are forced to become robust. Our vertical feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term micro-ubiquitous social-network-based versioning and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We frequently upgrade user-centric data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Rails. We think we know that if you morph vertically then you may also enable seamlessly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "portals" really mean? At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to streamline seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for regulating unplanned-for media sourcing? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "world-class content" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "communities" really mean? We think we know that if you reinvent extensibly then you may also orchestrate robustly. Think micro-enterprise. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think sexy, co-branded, revolutionary. Think B2B2C. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "architectures" really mean? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Apache. Have you ever had to iterate your functionality? Without having to learn AJAX? We will exploit the term "cross-platform". We think we know that it is better to target cyber-virtually than to enhance robustly. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough PNG. Do you have a plan of action to become global? We will augment our power to streamline without decreasing our aptitude to empower. Think blog-based. Think viral. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-dynamic. Without nano-e-business, global user-centric iteration metrics, you will lack M&A. A company that can harness correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incubate easily. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to mesh wirelessly. The enterprise Total Quality Management management factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of PHP and VOIP. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce factor is extensible. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think mega-integrated. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Unix. We will scale the term "C2C2B". Is it more important for something to be killer or to be social-network-based, front-end, ubiquitous?