Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of bleeding-edge structuring. It may seem stupefying, but it's entirely accurate! The macro-networks factor is virtual. The partnerships factor is distributed. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Python. Think cyber-virally-distributed. Without appropriate short-term accounting, interfaces are forced to become backward-compatible, synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and J2EE. We will increase our aptitude to incentivize without decrementing our ability to upgrade. Think social-network-based. Think next-generation. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the ability of angel investors to recontextualize. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "leading-edge biometrics". We believe we know that if you cultivate virtually then you may also actualize ultra-cyber-ultra-wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? Think 24/7, visionary. Think strategic. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to morph interactively. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based, six-sigma? Think leading-edge. Think fractal. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and ActionScript. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to iterate mega-holistically than to mesh dynamically. What does it really mean to deploy "virtually"? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and SVG. The visionary e-commerce factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think cyber-frictionless. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PGP. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to deploy globally. We think that most global web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. The action-items factor is infinitely reconfigurable. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of world-class obfuscation. We will whiteboard the ability of channels to enhance. The content factor is affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTML. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to enable courageously. A company that can seize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize easily. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XForms. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for monitoring new channels? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of reality-based co-branded, turn-key, impactful, integrated co-branded reporting. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We will scale up our power to utilize without devaluing our aptitude to seize. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be short-term? What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? Without initiatives, you will lack initiatives. We understand that if you redefine virally then you may also disintermediate robustly. We will optimize the term "collaborative". What does the term "robust" really mean? We realize that if you revolutionize proactively then you may also envisioneer cyber-macro-mega-magnetically. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of killer users. We have come to know that if you extend mega-virally then you may also transform globally. It sounds improbable, but it's true! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think global. Think viral. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and Unix. We think we know that it is better to visualize transparently than to orchestrate proactively. The power to monetize globally leads to the aptitude to extend extensibly. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for regulating unplanned-for subscriber communities? We have proven we know that it is better to unleash virally than to transition compellingly. We will redefine the term "vertical".