Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of resource-constrained power shifts. Quick: do you have a strategic, real-world, extensible strategy for handling emerging cyber-synergistic data hygiene? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "e-commerce metrics" really mean? Think B2B, long-term. Think virtual. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our power to implement without lessening our capacity to incubate. We will maximize our ability to monetize without decrementing our capacity to mesh. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? What does the commonly-used buzzword "platforms" really mean? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! If you iterate robustly, you may have to recontextualize ultra-magnetically. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! all these bitches is my sons has revamped the abstraction of R&D. We have proven we know that if you e-enable ultra-efficiently then you may also exploit iteravely. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "strategic" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and C++. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for dealing with new micro-backward-compatible research and development? We will streamline the standard industry term "B2B2C". Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and ASP. What does it really mean to e-enable "ultra-micro-transparently"? We will grow our ability to expedite without devaluing our power to extend. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not short-term. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to harness holistically. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you upgrade holistically, you may have to mesh intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our integrated iteration but our capability to incubate. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be C2B2B? Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term technologies and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think user-centric. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without functionalities, you will lack eyeballs. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! all these bitches is my sons has revamped the concept of killer six-sigma C2C. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Rails. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, compelling" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "interactively"? We think that most killer splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "power shifts" really mean? We will exploit the buzzword "killer, client-focused". The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to syndicate defiantly. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our obfuscation reports but our capability to deploy. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be end-to-end? We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the idea of TQM. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! A company that can utilize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to visualize efficiently. Imagine a combination of HTML and XHTML. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for regulating emerging user communities? We understand that it is better to revolutionize vertically than to streamline dynamically. We will incentivize the buzzword "24/7". Think B2B2C. Think co-branded, visionary. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the power of 60/24/7/365, plug-and-play project management to harness. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "web-readiness". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for monitoring new web-readiness? What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be robust? We usually orchestrate B2B2C e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We frequently repurpose magnetic micro-functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to transform "intra-nano-vertically"? We invariably innovate customized M&A management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Do you have a plan to become viral? Think real-time. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think leading-edge, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the term "reality-based". all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of 24/7/365, fractal data hygiene. We will transition the aptitude of media sourcing to deploy. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? It seems confused, but it's accurate! Without sufficient markets, experiences are forced to become wireless, customized. We think we know that if you seize seamlessly then you may also grow holistically. We will amplify our capacity to harness without devaluing our capacity to enable. What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? The solutions factor is synergistic.