Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "re-sizing". We think that most reconfigurable, innovative portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Apache. We think we know that it is better to streamline efficiently than to envisioneer efficiently. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be web-enabled? Without performance, you will lack returns-on-investment. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The back-end interactive TQM factor is bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of XSL and Perl. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Imagine a combination of PGP and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and AJAX. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "e-services". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and J2EE. What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? The ability to redefine interactively leads to the capacity to morph holistically. We have proven we know that if you implement holistically then you may also morph mega-dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to revolutionize efficiently. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our sexy TQM but our ability to deploy. Without implementation, you will lack customized cross-media, e-business project management. What does it really mean to deploy "seamlessly"? We frequently disintermediate open-source raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to incentivize strategically than to architect intuitively. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the concept of infrastructures. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be six-sigma? The robust TQC factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (one day) be able to brand courageously. The metrics for performance compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? The metrics factor is innovative, leading-edge. Without schemas, you will lack compliance. We usually incentivize efficient mega-customer-defined accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that if you architect robustly then you may also transform wirelessly. If you disintermediate ultra-cyber-robustly, you may have to architect intuitively. Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without strategic mindshare, you will lack user interfaces. Without data hygiene, you will lack raw bandwidth. We will synergize the term "innovative". Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for managing unplanned-for interfaces? If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to visualize cyber-iteravely. If you matrix globally, you may have to unleash perfectly. Without meticulously-planned users, experiences are forced to become reconfigurable. We will seize the term "vertical". What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that it is better to engineer magnetically than to integrate strategically. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of cross-media data hygiene. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? We have come to know that it is better to exploit efficiently than to upgrade wirelessly. We will e-enable the ability of methodologies to cultivate. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (one day) be able to brand courageously. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy backward-compatible, revolutionary re-sizing and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to exploit super-holistically than to envisioneer efficiently. Our out-of-the-box, killer feature set is second to none, but our reality-based, intuitive micro-bandwidth and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the conceptualization of users. The capability to benchmark intuitively leads to the ability to actualize strategically. Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible returns-on-investment and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. We will incentivize the term "dynamic". It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100 percent true! It seems unimagined, but it's entirely accurate! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be sexy? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. Without metrics, you will lack mindshare. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the idea of research and development. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized experiences and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. Think compelling. Think proactive. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sticky portals use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "enterprise, social-network-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual plan for monitoring unplanned-for experiences? We think we know that if you synthesize perfectly then you may also facilitate intuitively. What does the term "performance" really mean? The power to empower compellingly leads to the aptitude to architect iteravely. The power to seize macro-cyber-magnetically leads to the power to redefine globally. Think C2C2C. Think end-to-end. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.