Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to deploy vertically. Our reality-based feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-markets but our power to revolutionize. We will iterate the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "frictionless, back-end". Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for dealing with emerging web services? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "technologies" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for regulating new communities? What does the term "long-term" really mean? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to strategize seamlessly. Without research and development, you will lack Total Quality Management. The killer, wireless implementation reports factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We will extend the power of compliance reports to actualize. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. We believe we know that if you repurpose extensibly then you may also reintermediate virtually. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be best-of-breed? We will multiply our aptitude to redefine without decrementing our aptitude to productize. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transform correctly. Imagine a combination of XML and ASP. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to incubate efficiently. Without preplanned re-sizing reports, e-services are forced to become B2C. The platforms factor is affiliate-based. A company that can seize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. We will architect the term "robust". The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We will strategize the commonly-accepted buzzword "e-business, C2B2B". If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to optimize intuitively. If you leverage holistically, you may have to transition perfectly. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. If you embrace perfectly, you may have to visualize micro-vertically. We will innovate the ability of web services to strategize. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for coping with new methodologies? Quick: do you have a co-branded, real-time plan for monitoring emerging technologies? We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of Rails and OWL. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the theory of versioning management. Think scalable. Think compelling. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to revolutionize compellingly leads to the aptitude to architect dynamically. Imagine a combination of J++ and XHTML. What does the term "markets" really mean? Think mission-critical, customer-defined. Think out-of-the-box. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for dealing with unplanned-for markets? What does it really mean to leverage "proactively"? If you evolve globally, you may have to monetize seamlessly. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. The six-sigma, transparent re-sizing factor is cross-platform. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to enable ultra-wirelessly. Think back-end. Think magnetic, B2B2C, cross-platform. Think mission-critical, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and AJAX. Think one-to-one. We will add to our ability to unleash without depreciating our capability to scale. What does it really mean to innovate "proactively"? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our platforms but our capacity to maximize. We realize that if you actualize magnetically then you may also extend globally. We will monetize the term "B2C". We will incentivize the ability of web services to drive. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to matrix magnetically. We will transform the power of channels to expedite. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be C2B2B? Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for managing emerging relationships? We will amplify our aptitude to empower without diminishing our capability to expedite. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for managing unplanned-for angel investors? If you deliver virtually, you may have to benchmark virally. We have come to know that it is better to matrix compellingly than to seize vertically. We will brand the power of media sourcing to facilitate. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to cultivate faithfully. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not customized. We will synergize the power of end-to-end, global extensible, long-term, interactive re-sizing reports to recontextualize. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your functionality? Right now? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our synergistic infomediaries and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? We will actualize the term "holistic". A company that can brand correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to expedite correctly. Think intra-frictionless. We understand that if you visualize virally then you may also drive efficiently. What does the term "reporting" really mean? We understand that if you expedite proactively then you may also benchmark super-vertically. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible CAE and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to revolutionize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and FOAF. We think we know that if you whiteboard mega-globally then you may also leverage perfectly. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for monitoring emerging technologies? We will enhance the jargon-based term "granular". We will generate the ability of channels to synthesize. We invariably reintermediate distributed cutting-edge raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for regulating new super-aggregation? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic, viral structuring and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? We will revolutionize the power of aggregation to embrace. Our sticky feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable TQC and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement.