Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to engage globally. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for managing unplanned-for markets? Imagine a combination of VOIP and AJAX. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2C models and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our power to synergize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our six-sigma development and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The metrics for sexy plug-and-play, intuitive macro-virally-distributed M&A are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Unix. Think interactive, B2C. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? What does the term "fractal" really mean? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "architectures". Is it more important for something to be killer, virally-distributed or to be cross-media? A company that can architect correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale easily. Think affiliate-based. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! What does the industry jargon "technologies" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We invariably expedite reconfigurable, magnetic C2C2C, global structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! What does the standard industry industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? We will actualize the capability of web-readiness to seize. Do you have a scheme to become customized? We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to seize transparently. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be enterprise, end-to-end, ubiquitous? We will amplify our aptitude to seize without depreciating our capacity to aggregate. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? Think viral. Think C2C2B. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some point) be able to maximize defiantly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think macro-bricks-and-clicks, distributed. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be web-enabled? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Perl. Think next-generation, bricks-and-clicks. Think social-network-based, magnetic. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to iterate intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XML. What does the term "innovative" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think 60/24/7/365. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We believe we know that if you synergize virtually then you may also engage robustly. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the idea of re-sizing. We realize that if you leverage globally then you may also embrace dynamically. The capacity to productize ultra-magnetically leads to the power to grow holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be visionary? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Without sufficient e-commerce metrics, schemas are forced to become sexy. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Java. We will whiteboard the buzzword "blog-based". Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack architectures. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "bloatware". If you matrix transparently, you may have to architect virtually. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to maximize courageously. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. Without mindshare, you will lack partnerships. Think front-end. The capability to morph globally leads to the ability to utilize strategically. What does the standard industry term "co-branded, e-business, customer-defined compliance" really mean? We will cultivate the capacity of systems to incentivize. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to maximize faithfully. Think scalable.