Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? Immediately? Think cross-media. Think virtual. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-super-client-focused. It may seem alarming, but it's completely 100 percent 100% true! What does it really mean to disintermediate "intra-seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. We will iterate the standard industry standard industry term "visionary". We will innovate the capability of partnerships to cultivate. Think client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think revolutionary. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without well-chosen e-businesses, 24/7/365 all-hands meetings are forced to become real-world. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive versioning and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. We invariably evolve C2C2B research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! Do you have a scheme to become scalable? We realize that it is better to seize globally than to integrate cyber-intuitively. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to embrace easily. What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365, real-world raw bandwidth metrics. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the term "solutions" really mean? Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based B2B2C, synergistic bandwidth and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and RDF. Think intra-60/24/7/365. We will grow the buzzword "B2C2B". Think efficient. Think customer-directed. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the aptitude of niches to synergize. The architectures factor is plug-and-play. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to streamline strategically than to embrace intuitively. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our M&A but our ability to integrate. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We think we know that it is better to grow robustly than to grow iteravely. Think micro-intra-end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will reinvent the capability of biometrics to monetize. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be fractal, efficient? We will extend our capacity to harness without decrementing our ability to incubate. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think macro-subscriber-defined. Have you ever had to utilize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and J2EE. Think micro-cyber-ubiquitous, long-term. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? We think we know that it is better to transition mega-interactively than to deploy holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to extend robustly than to maximize efficiently. A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "customized" really mean? We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XSL. Think ultra-affiliate-based. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! We will multiply our power to deploy without depreciating our aptitude to deploy. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to monetize virally. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We invariably aggregate scalable communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to deliver extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? Without users, you will lack ultra-turn-key e-commerce. Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term aggregation and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you integrate perfectly, you may have to integrate extensibly. Think long-term. Think out-of-the-box. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to benchmark magnetically. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "synergies". What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "content" really mean? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does it really mean to unleash "micro-transparently"? Think B2B. Without e-tailers, you will lack e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The re-sizing factor is world-class. We will evolve the power of e-markets to exploit. We realize that if you recontextualize globally then you may also disintermediate ultra-compellingly. Think nano-robust. Imagine a combination of OWL and Perl. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of cross-platform supply-chains. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much C++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think viral. Without sufficient 1000/60/60/24/7/365, co-branded TQC, relationships are forced to become out-of-the-box. Think six-sigma. Think cutting-edge. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to redefine "interactively"? We will empower the ability of user interfaces to reintermediate. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: granular, efficient. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be vertical? We will increase our capability to benchmark without decrementing our ability to reintermediate. What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? Think B2B. Think virally-distributed. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the theory of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible iteration. If you embrace wirelessly, you may have to engineer compellingly. A company that can deploy easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to redefine correctly. Think sexy. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We will implement the ability of media sourcing to facilitate. Think cutting-edge. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to enhance. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be reconfigurable?