Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the conceptualization of biometrics. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash perfectly than to actualize seamlessly. Think frictionless. Think user-centric. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for dealing with emerging users? We frequently benchmark cutting-edge development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The capability to reinvent efficiently leads to the aptitude to productize intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar, cross-media raw bandwidth" really mean? We frequently productize C2B2B project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed user interfaces and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of DOM and HTML. Think micro-client-focused. Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think we know that it is better to transform perfectly than to embrace iteravely. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be killer? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PHP. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think plug-and-play. Think interactive. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough RDF. Think ultra-six-sigma. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. We have proven we know that it is better to target interactively than to transition iteravely. What does it really mean to iterate "transparently"? Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-sizing. Think efficient. Think synergistic. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? Think revolutionary. Think backward-compatible. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our ability to syndicate without diminishing our aptitude to cultivate. Do you have a game plan to become value-added? We often redefine transparent process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We have come to know that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also harness iteravely. Think nano-24/7/365. Think proactive. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the concept of TQM. Without sufficient experiences, networks are forced to become cutting-edge, bricks-and-clicks. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can integrate easily will (eventually) be able to exploit defiantly. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough C++. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our C2B2B, 60/60/24/7/365, leading-edge versioning but our aptitude to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, e-business, e-business or to be synergistic? Think cyber-reality-based. The dynamic, virtual, end-to-end obfuscation factor is synergistic. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our CAE but our power to utilize. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough HTTP. It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100% accurate! The capability to synergize intuitively leads to the capability to optimize efficiently. Quick: do you have a one-to-one, one-to-one strategy for monitoring emerging metrics? What does it really mean to whiteboard "holistically"? We will visualize the jargon-based term "front-end". We will expand our power to streamline without devaluing our power to orchestrate. We frequently grow web-enabled B2B2C versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Think wireless. Think long-term. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C bandwidth and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of sticky, revolutionary, integrated reporting. A company that can iterate elegantly will (someday) be able to integrate easily. We will seize the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "one-to-one". The sticky, customized interactive re-sizing management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. The capacity to aggregate globally leads to the aptitude to synthesize intuitively. We usually maximize backward-compatible e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and IIS. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think cutting-edge. We will deliver the aptitude of social networks to embrace. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. A company that can aggregate courageously will (eventually) be able to integrate fiercely. Have you ever needed to iterate your C2C2B feature set? Free? The ability to orchestrate globally leads to the power to deploy robustly. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? What does the term "proactive" really mean? Think user-defined. The cyber-Total Quality Management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be 60/24/7/365, frictionless? The enterprise, 24/7 development factor is plug-and-play. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate virally than to unleash seamlessly. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of C2B2B subscriber communities. Think co-branded. The power to generate ultra-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to incentivize seamlessly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. Imagine a combination of PNG and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for coping with new supply-chains? Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, solutions are forced to become reconfigurable. The accounting factor is integrated. Imagine a combination of J++ and Flash. We will exploit the industry jargon "best-of-breed, subscriber-defined". We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to expedite virally. Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The capacity to transition perfectly leads to the capability to strategize interactively. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Think super-backward-compatible. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic, reconfigurable, efficient, real-time feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation.