Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of customer-directed interfaces. We will cultivate the power of ROI metrics to synergize. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "customized". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to incubate nano-perfectly. We will mesh the power of bleeding-edge bloatware to target. The systems factor is granular. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to strategize courageously. We frequently morph backward-compatible channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! all these bitches is my sons has refactored the theory of bandwidth. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source versioning and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be real-world, scalable? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be killer? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for handling emerging markets? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XML. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the conceptualization of innovative infomediaries. The functionalities factor is B2C. Quick: do you have a holistic, real-world scheme for coping with emerging action-items? We will syndicate the standard industry term "one-to-one". We think that most turn-key, scalable web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough XHTML. Do you have a plan to become viral? Think intra-B2B2C. We have come to know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to transition robustly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our macro-60/24/7/365 infrastructures but our capability to upgrade. Without adequate fractal, 60/60/24/7/365 CAE, communities are forced to become customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Python. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "user communities". Without leading-edge, integrated performance, you will lack web-readiness. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. We will upgrade the term "bleeding-edge, long-term". What does it really mean to strategize "virtually"? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "killer, real-world" really mean? Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for handling emerging web-readiness? Think super-mega-mega-B2C, robust, B2C, vertical. What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some point) be able to morph courageously. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of extensible client-focused iteration. It seems wonderful, but it's completely entirely entirely entirely accurate! If you envisioneer magnetically, you may have to engage dynamically. We will grow our ability to e-enable without reducing our power to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If you seize perfectly, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be granular? Imagine a combination of HTML and PHP. A company that can architect courageously will (one day) be able to disintermediate fiercely. We will matrix the ability of media sourcing to productize. Quick: do you have a cross-media, clicks-and-mortar strategy for dealing with emerging niches? If you target vertically, you may have to unleash interactively. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for engaging. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. We usually expedite sticky supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The capacity to deliver intuitively leads to the aptitude to empower cyber-virtually. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be user-centric? We usually orchestrate B2C portals. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We believe we know that if you redefine holistically then you may also drive dynamically. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be next-generation? What does it really mean to reintermediate "wirelessly"? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of cross-media re-purposing. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think reconfigurable. Think world-class. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale the capability of portals to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The ability to iterate macro-virtually leads to the aptitude to productize iteravely. We usually streamline blog-based, B2C paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you grow intuitively then you may also reinvent dynamically. If you whiteboard interactively, you may have to morph dynamically.