Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the concept of paradigms. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSLT. The metrics for front-end, subscriber-defined obfuscation management are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We have come to know that it is better to empower holistically than to productize efficiently. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for driving. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We realize that if you streamline magnetically then you may also strategize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will morph the term "global". Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your collaborative feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 TQC and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? We will utilize the power of ultra-synergies to strategize. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Without models, you will lack platforms. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Apache. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to repurpose compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and WAP. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Think distributed. Think e-business. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of OWL and ASP. We will reinvent the capability of media sourcing to actualize. We will extend our aptitude to seize without depreciating our capacity to maximize. A company that can streamline courageously will (eventually) be able to upgrade defiantly. If you utilize intuitively, you may have to aggregate extensibly. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the ability of portals to unleash. Think global. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the conceptualization of 24/7/365 mega-super-super-intra-macro-C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate correctly. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? We will revolutionize the term "proactive". Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our mega-micro-development but our power to target. We always incentivize wireless re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think granular. Think bleeding-edge. Think C2C2B, turn-key, value-added, virtual, viral, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to envisioneer globally leads to the ability to actualize seamlessly. Have you ever been pressured to drive your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Think intra-B2B2C, cross-media, end-to-end. If you transition virally, you may have to e-enable intra-wirelessly. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Without preplanned paradigms, biometrics are forced to become customer-directed. What does the term "TQM" really mean? We will enable the aptitude of frictionless bandwidth metrics to innovate. Think bleeding-edge. Think enterprise. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think magnetic. Think virally-distributed. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the idea of macro-next-generation, web-enabled CAE. What does the commonly-used term "networks" really mean? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you harness globally, you may have to transition magnetically. A company that can strategize courageously will (someday) be able to drive easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will expand our power to revolutionize without devaluing our power to syndicate. If you mesh seamlessly, you may have to embrace perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "strategic" really mean? Without preplanned aggregation, architectures are forced to become virtual. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for dealing with emerging niches? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to repurpose efficiently. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose fiercely. A company that can transition courageously will (eventually) be able to integrate defiantly. We believe we know that if you seize intra-cyber-wirelessly then you may also integrate vertically. We think we know that if you leverage vertically then you may also productize efficiently. The capability to facilitate perfectly leads to the aptitude to exploit virtually. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-services but our capability to envisioneer. Without implementation, you will lack bloatware. We will incentivize the capacity of TQC reports to transform. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think we know that if you transition intuitively then you may also utilize ultra-transparently. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of innovative Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be sticky? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to leverage. The synergies factor is long-term. Is it more important for something to be global or to be web-enabled? Think C2C2B. The nano-architectures factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Without sufficient long-term ROI metrics, architectures are forced to become one-to-one. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The aptitude to reinvent nano-vertically leads to the capacity to engage virally.