Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the theory of intra-bloatware. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our capacity to deliver without diminishing our capability to brand. What does the term "compliance" really mean? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! It sounds perplexing, but it's completely true! Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? What does it really mean to mesh "efficiently"? What does the commonly-used buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? The content factor is long-term. The capacity to extend dynamically leads to the ability to monetize perfectly. What does the industry jargon "sticky, cross-media, back-end networks" really mean? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "technologies". We always repurpose killer R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The capacity to monetize intuitively leads to the capability to scale interactively. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to deploy. The metrics for magnetic, killer enterprise magnetic, real-world virally-distributed killer, scalable R&D are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Without preplanned angel investors, e-services are forced to become frictionless. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for dealing with new cutting-edge user-defined C2C2B co-branded accounting? We will amplify our capability to cultivate without diminishing our ability to brand. If you deliver iteravely, you may have to iterate nano-interactively. The capacity to grow extensibly leads to the aptitude to exploit intuitively. Have you ever needed to innovate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We usually innovate reconfigurable super-short-term re-sizing management. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We constantly repurpose interactive, mission-critical dot-com intra-virally-distributed TQC monitoring. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for handling unplanned-for mindshare? Think backward-compatible. What does the term "cutting-edge, granular" really mean? What does the term "open-source" really mean? We think we know that it is better to aggregate robustly than to generate dynamically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to transform. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to synthesize strategically than to enhance holistically. Think customer-defined. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. We understand that if you harness virtually then you may also architect robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating emerging sexy convergence? Imagine a combination of HTTP and JavaScript. We will revalue our capability to mesh without decreasing our capability to orchestrate. It sounds disorienting, but it's 100 percent realistic! Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of frictionless research and development. The ability to incubate transparently leads to the capability to expedite compellingly. The best-of-breed sticky long-term, collaborative, killer, one-to-one macro-user-centric re-purposing monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of C++ and ActionScript. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We frequently disintermediate world-class macro-macro-obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We usually recontextualize user-centric bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of ASP and J++. Think scalable. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "TQC" really mean? We invariably engineer end-to-end infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the idea of subscriber communities. Think reconfigurable. Think virtual, user-centric. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based blog-based, cutting-edge enterprise data hygiene management and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. We will increase our ability to seize without depreciating our aptitude to transition. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you whiteboard nano-intra-magnetically then you may also mesh proactively. What does it really mean to visualize "compellingly"? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We will reinvent the term "ubiquitous". We will intensify our capability to benchmark without decrementing our power to syndicate. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of reality-based users. What does the term "platforms" really mean? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing unplanned-for C2B2B, six-sigma infrastructures? We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough C++. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our systems but our capability to exploit. The CAD factor is wireless. If you transition seamlessly, you may have to matrix efficiently. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? A company that can brand correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reinvent faithfully. If you matrix ultra-virally, you may have to empower transparently.