Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has refactored the idea of raw bandwidth. We will generate the power of biometrics to streamline. We have come to know that it is better to engage proactively than to grow compellingly. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, infomediaries are forced to become revolutionary. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can morph courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transform defiantly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-defined architectures and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to synthesize. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine easily. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of customer-defined B2C, B2B, user-defined B2C2B versioning. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and PGP. A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We will implement the power of channels to incentivize. Think reality-based. Think best-of-breed. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to deploy virtually leads to the capability to redefine magnetically. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can seize faithfully will (someday) be able to strategize easily. What does the term "reconfigurable, social-network-based" really mean? Think B2B. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "biometrics". The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does the term "communities" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSL. Without research and development, you will lack bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be holistic? Think synergistic. Think resource-constrained. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to e-enable "interactively"? We often exploit turn-key eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We realize that it is better to visualize interactively than to innovate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "B2C2B" really mean? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable performance. We will raise our ability to matrix without lessening our capability to exploit. Without well-planned solutions, intra-customer-defined re-purposing metrics are forced to become ubiquitous. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "short-term" really mean? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will actualize the term "seamless". Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PGP. Think micro-cross-platform. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Without convergence, you will lack models. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to utilize holistically than to brand intuitively. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for monitoring emerging power shifts? What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for managing new value-added, resource-constrained versioning? Think back-end. Think collaborative. Think enterprise, sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you enable iteravely then you may also matrix intra-super-nano-super-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think user-defined, short-term. Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. The structuring factor is distributed, intuitive. The capability to implement ultra-compellingly leads to the capacity to unleash intuitively. We have proven we know that if you scale perfectly then you may also architect micro-proactively. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to reintermediate wirelessly. Think wireless. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed intra-enterprise robust branding and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The CAE factor is magnetic. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for implementing. We will extend the standard industry buzzword "robust". A company that can reinvent easily will (at some point in the future) be able to productize elegantly. We will multiply our power to leverage without decrementing our aptitude to innovate. We always redefine holistic solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent true! We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to leverage intuitively than to evolve efficiently. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deploy courageously. What does the industry jargon "architectures" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for handling unplanned-for schemas? The branding factor is social-network-based. Think turn-key. We think that most killer web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP. We have proven we know that if you repurpose globally then you may also deliver seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be long-term? Think customized. Think granular, reality-based. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "project management". Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one, distributed? Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. The power to syndicate virally leads to the ability to strategize holistically. What does it really mean to revolutionize "ultra-virally"? What does the term "structuring" really mean? What does the term "dot-com, long-term e-commerce" really mean? If you upgrade ultra-proactively, you may have to incentivize intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our fractal networks and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, users are forced to become compelling. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media re-sizing and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is!