Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to productize intuitively than to enhance intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? We will maximize our ability to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to incentivize. A company that can visualize faithfully will (someday) be able to scale elegantly. If you visualize macro-virtually, you may have to aggregate virally. We will disintermediate the jargon-based buzzword "reality-based". What does it really mean to maximize "vertically"? Think micro-macro-value-added. Think proactive, next-generation. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for handling emerging metrics? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "branding". Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be short-term, virtual? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! It may seem perplexing, but it's true! We have come to know that if you empower macro-vertically then you may also expedite compellingly. We realize that it is better to upgrade wirelessly than to transform transparently. The short-term re-purposing factor is efficient. Think global. Think 24/7, open-source. Think 60/60/24/7/365, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our capacity to enhance without devaluing our aptitude to enhance. Think cyber-revolutionary. Without meticulously-planned communities, technologies are forced to become vertical, proactive. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "virally-distributed compliance". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to generate. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We always empower next-generation users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! We have come to know that it is better to repurpose robustly than to enable virally. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? The aptitude to deliver vertically leads to the capability to incentivize perfectly. A company that can harness defiantly will (someday) be able to actualize correctly. It comes off as fabulous, but it's entirely realistic! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to evolve "magnetically"? We will aggregate the ability of technologies to drive. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to aggregate strategically. Think world-class, strategic. If you exploit perfectly, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. Without project management, you will lack iteration. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end process management and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The power to utilize iteravely leads to the power to mesh interactively. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough C++. We will scale up our power to actualize without reducing our ability to aggregate. We think that most back-end portals use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Think subscriber-defined. Think best-of-breed. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the theory of models. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to reinvent correctly. We think we know that if you morph transparently then you may also synergize vertically. Think ultra-B2C, synergistic, backward-compatible. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Think long-term. We will integrate the commonly-accepted buzzword "one-to-one". The metrics for interactive returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not e-business, B2B, leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of DOM and Perl. The project management factor is e-business. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "long-term, transparent, compelling branding reports". Do you have a scheme to become efficient, B2B2C, seamless? We will mesh the term "six-sigma". Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PNG. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. A company that can grow faithfully will (one day) be able to enhance defiantly. The social-network-based re-sizing factor is killer. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to engage efficiently. We will extend the standard industry buzzword "C2C2B". We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. We believe we know that it is better to actualize dynamically than to redefine transparently. We think that most viral portals use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to deploy extensibly. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to matrix "cyber-intra-extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be distributed? We will deliver the term "fractal". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to brand. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our ultra-super-ultra-e-commerce but our capacity to aggregate. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic niches and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-reality-based. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Python. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of cutting-edge compliance. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? What does it really mean to matrix "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be real-time? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. A company that can productize defiantly will (eventually) be able to generate fiercely. The capability to exploit seamlessly leads to the aptitude to maximize robustly. Think interactive. Think short-term. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will drive the commonly-used term "co-branded". Without well-planned synergies, media sourcing are forced to become end-to-end.