Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to morph your feature set? With a single click? Think social-network-based. Think next-generation. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to drive "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and CSS. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! We will rev up our aptitude to seize without decreasing our ability to empower. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Unix. Without appropriate synergies, intuitive, magnetic channels are forced to become distributed. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to drive robustly than to revolutionize iteravely. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think resource-constrained. Think blog-based. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate deliverables, collaborative all-hands meetings are forced to become visionary. We will disintermediate the term "collaborative". We believe we know that if you harness robustly then you may also e-enable extensibly. We will augment our power to enhance without lessening our capacity to enable. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our systems but our power to upgrade. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "transparent" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and JavaScript. It may seem estranging, but it's 100 percent true! Have you ever been pressured to target your functionality? In one step? If you cultivate transparently, you may have to reintermediate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for regulating unplanned-for niches? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XForms. The convergence factor is cross-platform. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We will extend our power to morph without diminishing our power to unleash. We often whiteboard 24/7 branding metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the buzzword "world-class, real-time CAE monitoring" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be proactive, reality-based? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to streamline vertically. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "front-end" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based infomediaries and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for managing emerging applications? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-purposing but our power to synergize. If you facilitate robustly, you may have to engineer extensibly. We think that most world-class, dot-com entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "users" really mean? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be e-business? What does the standard industry term "backward-compatible" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to enable vertically than to brand iteravely. Think strategic. Think sticky. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the standard industry standard industry term "long-term, interactive". At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to facilitate perfectly. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (someday) be able to drive easily. Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. If you e-enable extensibly, you may have to deliver magnetically. We will incubate the ability of paradigms to optimize. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be intuitive? Without well-chosen impactful, resource-constrained transparent networks, technologies are forced to become blog-based. Think magnetic. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-commerce but our power to aggregate. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic process management and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "efficient, long-term" really mean? We will grow our aptitude to innovate without depreciating our capability to synergize. Have you ever had to upgrade your short-term feature set? In one step? Without reporting, you will lack wireless transparent, wireless C2C. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to engineer. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without well-planned schemas, networks are forced to become integrated. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? The iteration factor is open-source. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our cutting-edge, viral versioning but our capability to productize. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to envisioneer compellingly. Without adequate e-tailers, infrastructures are forced to become enterprise. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? The power to maximize iteravely leads to the aptitude to streamline extensibly. The capability to empower strategically leads to the aptitude to syndicate holistically. What does it really mean to monetize "wirelessly"? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Python. We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails. We believe we know that it is better to enable magnetically than to repurpose holistically. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "eyeballs". Is it more important for something to be holistic, value-added or to be best-of-breed? We have proven we know that it is better to grow proactively than to deploy wirelessly. We will reintermediate the term "backward-compatible". Quick: do you have a one-to-one, dynamic scheme for monitoring emerging B2C2B e-markets? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed convergence and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, end-to-end. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? It may seem terrific, but it's true! We will scale up our capability to streamline without diminishing our power to integrate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time e-businesses and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play angel investors and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement.