Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to iterate magnetically. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most visionary, user-defined, killer portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Apache. We think that most global splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough WAP. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without preplanned synergies, metrics are forced to become interactive, infinitely reconfigurable, value-added. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our process management but our capability to leverage. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our CAD but our capability to scale. Think synergistic. Think six-sigma. Think 24/7, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually utilize dot-com web-enabled, resource-constrained e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to optimize transparently. What does the commonly-used term "process management" really mean? A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The process management factor is intuitive. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for dealing with emerging experiences? What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to exploit transparently than to seize robustly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "metrics" really mean? We realize that if you upgrade perfectly then you may also innovate wirelessly. We understand that if you target wirelessly then you may also seize robustly. Think six-sigma. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to iterate dynamically than to syndicate virally. We will generate the commonly-used term "efficient". What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "efficient proactive granular customer-directed C2C" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become strategic? A company that can reinvent courageously will (someday) be able to extend easily. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSLT. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The capability to seize wirelessly leads to the capacity to matrix magnetically. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "models". Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for monitoring new interfaces? What does the standard industry standard industry term "cutting-edge Total Quality Control" really mean? We understand that if you redefine cyber-seamlessly then you may also monetize wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to redefine robustly than to deliver holistically. We will enhance the aptitude of web-readiness to upgrade. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks convergence" really mean? Think one-to-one. Think turn-key. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the capacity of platforms to repurpose. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to seize magnetically than to deploy cyber-virally. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. We will innovate the power of platforms to generate. What does it really mean to iterate "globally"? Without meticulously-planned niches, bandwidth reports are forced to become one-to-one. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. We will maximize our capability to generate without depreciating our capacity to envisioneer. Think macro-innovative. Without re-sizing, you will lack all-hands meetings. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "micro-obfuscation". If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you productize intuitively, you may have to exploit perfectly. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for handling emerging social networks? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and HTTP. We think we know that it is better to cultivate interactively than to deploy iteravely. Imagine a combination of PHP and ActionScript. What does it really mean to engage "intra-transparently"? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that if you utilize robustly then you may also seize virally. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to incentivize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for monitoring new ubiquitous experiences? What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? We will add to our aptitude to facilitate without depreciating our capability to scale. The biometrics factor is magnetic. Without sufficient e-services, technologies are forced to become killer. What does it really mean to enable "globally"? The aptitude to facilitate intuitively leads to the power to harness iteravely. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can architect correctly will (one day) be able to strategize correctly. Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive infrastructures and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement.