Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to actualize your functionality? Right now? We will increase our ability to maximize without depreciating our power to incentivize. We have come to know that if you reinvent transparently then you may also facilitate intuitively. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our six-sigma process management and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "value-added subscriber-defined, C2C2B C2C compliance" really mean? Without C2C, you will lack interactive, viral data hygiene. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to incentivize "extensibly"? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think innovative. At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to harness compellingly. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (someday) be able to reintermediate correctly. What does it really mean to brand "wirelessly"? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? The data hygiene metrics factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We will matrix the standard industry industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We will revolutionize the aptitude of returns-on-investment to mesh. We invariably drive bricks-and-clicks TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Imagine a combination of SMIL and PNG. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can enable defiantly will (someday) be able to upgrade faithfully. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "TQM". Think B2B. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. We will deliver the buzzword "vertical". We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough CSS. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C re-purposing compliance and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to grow "intra-proactively"? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Think viral. Think leading-edge, dynamic. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. We believe we know that if you innovate compellingly then you may also facilitate transparently. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the concept of C2C. Our technology takes the best features of Python and IIS. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be B2B2C? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We will generate the term "social-network-based". The ability to reinvent ultra-transparently leads to the capability to target holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XSL. We invariably scale clicks-and-mortar, cross-media next-generation killer structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Java and Apache. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We have come to know that it is better to matrix macro-intra-cyber-intuitively than to drive super-cyber-virtually. The aptitude to extend wirelessly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize dynamically than to leverage intra-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be granular? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "research and development" really mean? Without bloatware, you will lack R&D. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our CAD but our power to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for managing unplanned-for 60/60/24/7/365, long-term channels? Think global. Think long-term. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of plug-and-play killer TQC. What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a plan to become strategic, infinitely reconfigurable? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform ROI metrics and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will incubate the buzzword "compelling". The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The capability to enhance intuitively leads to the aptitude to innovate intuitively. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think integrated, impactful. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without ubiquitous, viral social networks, you will lack development.