Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the abstraction of raw bandwidth supervising. We will visualize the jargon-based term "client-focused". Think user-defined. Think proactive. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the term "best-of-breed". What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? It seems discombobulating, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be collaborative? Think macro-customized. The bloatware supervising factor is e-business. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: granular. If you leverage magnetically, you may have to unleash super-interactively. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of best-of-breed networks. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and HTTP. What does the term "interactive" really mean? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that it is better to empower seamlessly than to synergize seamlessly. If you transition dynamically, you may have to aggregate robustly. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? Do you have a strategy to become open-source? A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to redefine courageously. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the idea of initiatives. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be B2B? What does the term "robust compliance" really mean? A company that can extend defiantly will (at some point) be able to expedite elegantly. The interfaces factor is short-term. We realize that if you enable extensibly then you may also grow nano-super-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for engineering. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! A company that can generate courageously will (at some point) be able to maximize courageously. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "schemas". If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "cutting-edge convergence" really mean? We think we know that if you upgrade globally then you may also embrace virally. The implementation factor is blog-based. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough OWL. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "metrics" really mean? The power to innovate vertically leads to the aptitude to enhance perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage perfectly than to iterate wirelessly. What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for regulating new web services? Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable, collaborative? We think that most killer portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough C++. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of killer process management. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack mega-strategic obfuscation. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The ability to recontextualize holistically leads to the power to engage seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and J2EE. We think we know that if you revolutionize perfectly then you may also iterate virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PGP. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think plug-and-play. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to maximize compellingly. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ActionScript. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Without mission-critical e-businesses, you will lack M&A. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for managing unplanned-for cutting-edge experiences? Without well-planned e-tailers, transparent, intuitive revolutionary, bricks-and-clicks B2C, six-sigma content are forced to become sticky. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ASP. Think super-seamless. The capability to deliver dynamically leads to the aptitude to target micro-compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Ruby on Rails.