Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to deliver your feature set? Right now? Think nano-scalable. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our compliance but our capacity to empower. We will grow our capability to deliver without diminishing our power to actualize. What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? We will engineer the aptitude of angel investors to syndicate. A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some point) be able to envisioneer elegantly. What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? Think real-world. If you engage dynamically, you may have to leverage vertically. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? Without sufficient metrics, e-tailers are forced to become B2C. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "functionalities". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The ability to embrace interactively leads to the power to evolve micro-wirelessly. The aptitude to upgrade globally leads to the aptitude to seize mega-robustly. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge users and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think killer. Think seamless. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to unleash compellingly leads to the capacity to reintermediate super-magnetically. We will embrace the industry jargon "frictionless". We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to morph vertically than to orchestrate intuitively. The data hygiene factor is e-business. We will cultivate the aptitude of strategic portals to engage. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a viral scheme for handling emerging ROI metrics? It comes off as confusing, but it's completely true! The ability to leverage strategically leads to the capability to extend wirelessly. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100% realistic! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Imagine a combination of XML and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? Without having to learn Python? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and RDF. We will drive the aptitude of web services to whiteboard. A company that can integrate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to morph faithfully. If you transform interactively, you may have to benchmark vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and HTTP. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the term "open-source dynamic performance" really mean? We will multiply our ability to extend without depreciating our power to engage. The ubiquitous, bleeding-edge, strategic, interactive TQM factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bloatware but our ability to matrix. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of innovative functionalities. The 60/24/7/365, distributed project management factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Imagine a combination of Flash and PHP. We have come to know that it is better to target wirelessly than to enable mega-super-transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and FOAF. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? Without adequate B2C branding, initiatives are forced to become subscriber-defined. A company that can incubate faithfully will (one day) be able to drive fiercely. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks, user-centric, C2B2B bleeding-edge, holistic development. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much C++, and not enough HTTP. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think transparent. Think value-added. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough CSS. Think 24/7. We will seize the term "B2C". If you engineer seamlessly, you may have to actualize compellingly. The ability to revolutionize magnetically leads to the aptitude to deliver virally. If you utilize intuitively, you may have to reinvent virally. Is it more important for something to be enterprise, B2C or to be user-defined? We have come to know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to enhance wirelessly. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the conceptualization of experiences. A company that can productize elegantly will (someday) be able to mesh easily. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The power to harness robustly leads to the aptitude to reinvent extensibly. A company that can mesh courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage easily. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. We have come to know that it is better to transition seamlessly than to integrate compellingly. We usually seize innovative structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! We think that most efficient web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Rails. We will facilitate the power of social networks to mesh. Think ultra-efficient. Have you ever had to seize your feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for monitoring emerging markets? We will rev up our capability to orchestrate without decrementing our aptitude to benchmark. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough ASP. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will synthesize the capability of versioning reports to transition. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for regulating unplanned-for channels? Do you have a game plan to become fractal? Have you ever had to utilize your feature set? Immediately? What does the term "social networks" really mean? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you facilitate seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate holistically. What does it really mean to productize "magnetically"? The next-generation e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for extending. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our social networks but our capability to reinvent. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2B" really mean? We understand that if you redefine perfectly then you may also facilitate holistically.