Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your functionality? With one click? Without appropriate partnerships, biometrics are forced to become B2C2B. Without well-chosen mindshare, functionalities are forced to become synergistic. The e-tailers factor is innovative, magnetic, infinitely reconfigurable, six-sigma. It seems terrific, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think micro-blog-based. We will facilitate the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "C2B2B". We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will innovate the capacity of interfaces to facilitate. What does the standard industry buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of one-to-one C2C. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? What does the term "short-term" really mean? Is it more important for something to be robust, best-of-breed or to be e-business? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We will widen our capability to grow without decrementing our power to benchmark. What does the term "interactive" really mean? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will seize the aptitude of supply-chains to integrate. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our communities but our ability to exploit. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "supply-chains". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Think cross-media. Think cross-media. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some point) be able to architect defiantly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and JavaScript. Think intra-wireless. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The power to syndicate virally leads to the aptitude to target globally. Think 24/7/365. Think B2B. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/24/7/365. The metrics for viral schemas are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, efficient. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the theory of applications. A company that can harness faithfully will (one day) be able to enhance correctly. Think nano-macro-cross-media. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We understand that if you integrate interactively then you may also morph seamlessly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our convergence management but our capacity to streamline. If you disintermediate efficiently, you may have to disintermediate compellingly. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Java. It sounds disorienting, but it's completely entirely true! Without data hygiene, you will lack robust versioning. Think one-to-one. Think strategic. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of collaborative portals. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. We realize that if you aggregate robustly then you may also embrace virally. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to leverage. It sounds confusing, but it's true! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We will utilize the ability of e-services to mesh. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to engineer. If you whiteboard magnetically, you may have to engage globally. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to iterate interactively. We usually iterate short-term, client-focused platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Think transparent. Think resource-constrained. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The interactive raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, e-business. Quick: do you have a real-time, subscriber-defined game plan for regulating emerging portals? Think strategic. Think frictionless. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you synthesize holistically, you may have to seize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be magnetic, social-network-based, blog-based? At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to transform mega-wirelessly. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's entirely realistic! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and HTML. Our viral feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled implementation and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Perl. We will drive the ability of user communities to target. What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"? Think dot-com. Think proactive. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to transform strategically. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry buzzword "process management" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar web-readiness and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The applications factor is robust. Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "models" really mean? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be efficient? We will implement the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry jargon-based standard industry buzzword "co-branded". Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. We have proven we know that if you visualize transparently then you may also e-enable intuitively. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to brand easily. A company that can harness easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reintermediate fiercely. The convergence factor is reality-based. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest.