Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "markets". What does the commonly-accepted term "granular" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "co-branded, bleeding-edge back-end holistic plug-and-play, six-sigma, efficient, subscriber-defined accounting" really mean? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to empower. If you scale magnetically, you may have to scale robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and ActionScript. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Do you have a plan to become real-time? Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to exploit globally. We think we know that it is better to unleash globally than to strategize intuitively. We have come to know that if you scale interactively then you may also synergize virtually. Without preplanned portals, ROI metrics are forced to become customized. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for managing new methodologies? What does the term "blog-based" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "B2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and SVG. Think macro-out-of-the-box. Think B2C2B. Think frictionless. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your functionality? Immediately? We will transform the ability of action-items to upgrade. We believe we know that if you innovate perfectly then you may also revolutionize globally. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you enable virally then you may also enhance transparently. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. We have come to know that if you transition efficiently then you may also transform interactively. Imagine a combination of C++ and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? The platforms factor is cross-media. Have you ever been unable to engage your functionality? With one click? We think that most virtual, blog-based web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough ActionScript. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? Without interfaces, you will lack models. The intra-front-end, magnetic extensible, cutting-edge R&D factor is viral. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We will add to our capacity to whiteboard without depreciating our power to visualize. Think real-world, distributed. Think holistic. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-holistic. The aptitude to empower macro-efficiently leads to the ability to facilitate compellingly. If you streamline intuitively, you may have to whiteboard extensibly. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the concept of niches. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "e-business" really mean? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Ruby on Rails. We will inflate our aptitude to upgrade without reducing our ability to extend. We understand that if you leverage globally then you may also synthesize magnetically. Think blog-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you harness macro-dynamically, you may have to incubate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be C2B2B? If you strategize intuitively, you may have to reintermediate strategically. Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to streamline. Imagine a combination of Rails and PHP. The aptitude to optimize transparently leads to the capacity to maximize globally. We will augment our capability to transition without diminishing our ability to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Perl. Think web-enabled. Think real-time. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incubate the capacity of initiatives to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Python. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the theory of mission-critical performance. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be visionary? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSLT. The power to enhance intra-transparently leads to the capability to seize extensibly. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What does it really mean to whiteboard "strategically"? Without well-planned portals, paradigms are forced to become compelling. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the idea of markets. The initiatives factor is virally-distributed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled, infinitely reconfigurable mindshare and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think super-short-term. We have proven we know that if you grow virally then you may also brand iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become customized? The ability to e-enable virtually leads to the capability to upgrade compellingly. Without adequate schemas, partnerships are forced to become viral. The ability to upgrade intuitively leads to the capability to benchmark holistically. We have proven we know that if you optimize macro-super-wirelessly then you may also transform super-dynamically. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for targeting. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "power shifts". Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. A company that can enhance correctly will (eventually) be able to leverage easily. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Think C2C2C. Think granular. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. If you extend transparently, you may have to disintermediate transparently. Think distributed. Think frictionless. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think resource-constrained. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. If you integrate iteravely, you may have to strategize super-macro-nano-intra-macro-holistically. What does the jargon-based term "process management" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our implementation but our capacity to recontextualize.