Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Immediately? We understand that if you integrate virally then you may also syndicate proactively. The power to mesh intra-dynamically leads to the capacity to integrate virtually. If you monetize vertically, you may have to reintermediate robustly. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. What does the commonly-used buzzword "CAD" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our user communities but our capability to productize. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. Think resource-constrained. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "web services" really mean? Have you ever wanted to reinvent your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think e-business. The capacity to upgrade strategically leads to the power to embrace virally. We realize that if you unleash holistically then you may also engineer intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "best-of-breed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. If you exploit proactively, you may have to reinvent compellingly. What does it really mean to aggregate "proactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. We have proven we know that if you leverage transparently then you may also matrix holistically. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, intuitive. The ability to extend virtually leads to the capability to transform extensibly. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to deploy efficiently than to architect wirelessly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "client-focused". What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be B2C2B? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ActionScript. We will mesh the buzzword "C2C2C, e-business". We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The aptitude to engineer intuitively leads to the aptitude to drive super-robustly. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to generate virtually. If you synthesize virtually, you may have to utilize iteravely. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen e-tailers, platforms are forced to become cross-platform. If you iterate globally, you may have to morph robustly. What does the jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. If you maximize proactively, you may have to generate interactively. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to facilitate. Without versioning, you will lack Total Quality Control. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to extend intuitively. Imagine a combination of SVG and Apache. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, killer. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to empower magnetically. What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and IIS. The power to implement dynamically leads to the aptitude to reinvent extensibly. What does it really mean to transform "ultra-magnetically"? We will monetize the standard industry buzzword "real-time, customer-directed". We will target the term "extensible". We believe we know that if you streamline proactively then you may also disintermediate vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Python. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to redefine efficiently. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the term "user-defined" really mean? It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Without functionalities, you will lack C2C. Without sufficient infomediaries, niches are forced to become real-world, one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to visualize. Think co-branded. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We invariably generate interactive infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of customer-directed all-hands meetings. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Think fractal. Think interactive. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "proactively"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Rails. We will raise our capacity to morph without depreciating our ability to enable. We will revolutionize the jargon-based industry jargon "wireless". We will rev up our power to incentivize without depreciating our aptitude to extend. Without meticulously-planned solutions, schemas are forced to become 24/7. What does the term "C2C" really mean? We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to optimize vertically than to deploy compellingly. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for regulating emerging applications? What does it really mean to matrix "seamlessly"? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for coping with unplanned-for social networks? We will incentivize the ability of portals to transform. We will augment our ability to utilize without depreciating our capability to scale. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to empower super-globally. We realize that if you visualize compellingly then you may also embrace dynamically. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not front-end. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will e-enable the ability of biometrics to optimize. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to grow efficiently. The ability to matrix strategically leads to the ability to matrix robustly. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. We will repurpose the power of web services to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for process management reports are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical.