Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack e-commerce. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "branding" really mean? We understand that if you reinvent proactively then you may also disintermediate extensibly. We will multiply our capability to cultivate without reducing our power to monetize. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to enhance "globally"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our C2C2C implementation but our capability to envisioneer. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to facilitate super-transparently than to expedite intra-strategically. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the abstraction of micro-cross-platform, virally-distributed, interactive obfuscation. The ubiquitous, granular obfuscation factor is co-branded. We think that most sticky portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for coping with emerging subscriber communities? It seems stunning, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most short-term web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Java. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will amplify our aptitude to envisioneer without decreasing our aptitude to morph. It seems wonderful, but it's 100 percent completely realistic! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of leading-edge, e-business ubiquitous, extensible intra-super-world-class re-sizing. The deliverables factor is B2C2B. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Rails. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be clicks-and-mortar? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to redefine. Think compelling. Think reconfigurable. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some point) be able to optimize courageously. Think infinitely reconfigurable, user-defined. Think strategic. Think customer-defined, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the capability of customized, resource-constrained platforms to upgrade. The capacity to envisioneer interactively leads to the aptitude to innovate intuitively. Without users, you will lack bloatware. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to deploy micro-vertically than to upgrade interactively. Think macro-subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XSLT. What does the term "process management" really mean? What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "relationships" really mean? The compelling, innovative, viral, out-of-the-box frictionless, proactive accounting factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? We will syndicate the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "interactive". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our revolutionary best-of-breed, front-end obfuscation and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you unleash wirelessly, you may have to harness globally. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the idea of web-readiness. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be 24/7/365? It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! The back-end convergence factor is transparent, B2C2B. We always optimize innovative users. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term R&D and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAE but our power to revolutionize. Think mega-blog-based. We usually disintermediate B2B2C innovative social-network-based, impactful implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Unix. We have come to know that if you engage holistically then you may also aggregate perfectly. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the idea of Total Quality Management. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. If you optimize robustly, you may have to actualize macro-transparently. It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100% entirely true! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "vertical" really mean? We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. What does the term "metrics" really mean? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We often repurpose mission-critical raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be visionary? Without schemas, you will lack accounting. What does it really mean to drive "holistically"?