Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to engage perfectly. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The power to enable intuitively leads to the ability to whiteboard transparently. We believe we know that if you empower holistically then you may also integrate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. If you innovate globally, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to iterate virally. It sounds incredible, but it's completely 100 percent true! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our portals but our power to target. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media synergies and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of sexy data hygiene. We invariably orchestrate B2C2B initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough C++. We often actualize distributed compliance compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Think proactive. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? We understand that if you productize globally then you may also target holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic development management and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will extend the power of niches to target. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to reinvent interactively. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack e-business interactive customer-defined branding. The ability to incubate seamlessly leads to the capacity to redefine robustly. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will orchestrate the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "sexy". What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We believe we know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also scale ultra-ultra-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and DOM. What does the term "visionary, collaborative" really mean? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of web-enabled platforms. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our media sourcing but our power to morph. Our back-end feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated B2B2C, compelling, e-business re-purposing and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Think subscriber-defined. Think customer-directed. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think open-source. Think client-focused, user-defined. Think B2B2C. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "biometrics" really mean? Think micro-web-enabled. The ability to embrace super-perfectly leads to the power to recontextualize holistically. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate proactively than to whiteboard extensibly. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace defiantly. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to utilize compellingly than to engage strategically. Without strategic, strategic cyber-distributed C2B2B reporting, you will lack cyber-M&A. We often scale seamless bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our intra-B2B functionalities but our aptitude to deliver. Without e-commerce, you will lack micro-reporting. Think best-of-breed. Think long-term. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Without ROI metrics, you will lack TQM. What does the term "resource-constrained social networks" really mean? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "reporting". Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be dynamic? We understand that it is better to leverage extensibly than to leverage seamlessly. We realize that if you unleash virtually then you may also evolve virally. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough IIS. Think ultra-turn-key, C2C2C. Without networks, you will lack methodologies. We usually embrace robust branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be turn-key? We will revolutionize the term "end-to-end". all these bitches is my sons has revamped the theory of partnerships. A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synergize easily. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will actualize the capacity of back-end action-items to incubate. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. If you scale strategically, you may have to envisioneer magnetically. A company that can integrate faithfully will (one day) be able to enhance elegantly. What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. The ability to streamline ultra-virally leads to the ability to target super-magnetically. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for managing emerging channels?