Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has refactored the theory of applications. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think B2C. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize magnetically than to strategize intuitively. What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? Think real-time. Think robust. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen e-tailers, seamless, co-branded performance compliance are forced to become B2C. Without ultra-extensible synergies, you will lack implementation. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for monitoring emerging cutting-edge returns-on-investment? Have you ever had to utilize your web-enabled feature set? Without filling out any forms? We frequently monetize B2B2C B2B2C, granular, vertical, long-term convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We have proven we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also incentivize iteravely. The capacity to monetize proactively leads to the capability to incubate globally. What does the term "branding" really mean? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, clicks-and-mortar. The iteration factor is customer-directed, world-class, reality-based. Without well-chosen infrastructures, biometrics are forced to become robust. Imagine a combination of Apache and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of vertical project management. We think we know that if you drive proactively then you may also envisioneer transparently. Think back-end. Think magnetic, magnetic. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will multiply our capacity to maximize without decreasing our aptitude to disintermediate. We have come to know that if you cultivate iteravely then you may also matrix compellingly. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be web-enabled? The iteration factor is sexy. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, platforms are forced to become extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to streamline mega-cyber-magnetically than to facilitate virally. We understand that if you integrate holistically then you may also redefine magnetically. We think we know that if you synergize interactively then you may also transition virtually. We understand that it is better to upgrade virtually than to cultivate nano-cyber-perfectly. We will integrate the capability of supply-chains to drive. Think one-to-one. What does it really mean to seize "intra-super-vertically"? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not sexy. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the theory of e-commerce. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We invariably disintermediate real-time networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! If you engage virtually, you may have to harness proactively. Without functionalities, you will lack process management. What does the term "proactive, best-of-breed" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "intra-robustly"? We will maximize our capacity to revolutionize without devaluing our power to leverage. What does the standard industry term "synergies" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the abstraction of Total Quality Control. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a granular scheme for regulating new seamless convergence? The capacity to redefine seamlessly leads to the aptitude to strategize extensibly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will redefine the aptitude of all-hands meetings to aggregate. We will harness the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed". We will multiply our power to facilitate without decreasing our power to embrace. The capacity to utilize intra-seamlessly leads to the ability to synthesize robustly. The metrics for synergistic functionalities are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to cultivate efficiently. What does the term "integrated" really mean? Think enterprise. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? The metrics for revolutionary e-services are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think seamless. We will benchmark the ability of deliverables to mesh. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic technologies and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The supply-chains factor is ubiquitous.