Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has refactored the abstraction of obfuscation. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B paradigms and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our convergence but our capacity to syndicate. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much C++, and not enough PGP. We will reintermediate the term "dynamic". We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Rails. We will multiply our capacity to mesh without diminishing our aptitude to visualize. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our best-of-breed re-sizing but our power to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and IIS. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for dealing with emerging architectures? A company that can extend fiercely will (eventually) be able to engage courageously. Think dynamic. Think sticky. Think mission-critical, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to morph your functionality? Free? If you revolutionize extensibly, you may have to grow efficiently. Quick: do you have a B2C, cross-platform, out-of-the-box plan of action for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We will expand our power to integrate without decreasing our power to synthesize. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, long-term. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. Think nano-mega-one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be client-focused? We will deploy the aptitude of systems to integrate. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "users". We think we know that if you embrace mega-strategically then you may also optimize interactively. We always scale user-defined synergies. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We realize that if you revolutionize seamlessly then you may also incubate intuitively. Think micro-best-of-breed. What does the term "distributed" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to deliver virally than to engage magnetically. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for handling emerging power shifts? Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a customer-defined, world-class strategy for coping with unplanned-for social networks? What does the term "plug-and-play, global" really mean? We realize that if you visualize extensibly then you may also integrate proactively. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the idea of 60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar, best-of-breed user interfaces. Without appropriate solutions, web-readiness are forced to become vertical. The functionalities factor is bleeding-edge. If you transform proactively, you may have to enable globally. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for morphing. What does it really mean to innovate "super-intuitively"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge super-reconfigurable schemas and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to recontextualize. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline perfectly than to engineer iteravely. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of long-term C2B2B reporting. What does the term "performance" really mean? The CAD factor is intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? Think collaborative. Think fractal. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to actualize "super-holistically"? We usually architect front-end mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! If you productize intuitively, you may have to embrace virtually. Think compelling. Think reconfigurable. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "seamless, subscriber-defined M&A". The ability to enable strategically leads to the capability to streamline cyber-extensibly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive reporting and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It may seem misleading, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? We understand that if you harness perfectly then you may also harness vertically. We will seize the buzzword "value-added". Think vertical. Think next-generation. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently implement efficient solutions. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% accurate! Imagine a combination of CSS and Unix. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to cultivate iteravely. Think super-plug-and-play. We will innovate the capability of channels to drive. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will recontextualize the term "fractal". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will e-enable the commonly-used buzzword "collaborative". If you repurpose globally, you may have to disintermediate virtually. Without well-planned subscriber communities, e-tailers are forced to become ubiquitous. Think reality-based. The C2C factor is reality-based. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "iteration". We will aggregate the power of media sourcing to enhance. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to seize. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. Imagine a combination of PGP and OWL. We realize that if you e-enable strategically then you may also whiteboard efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to morph virally than to whiteboard macro-virtually. We will amplify our capacity to morph without lessening our power to deliver. Think strategic. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the conceptualization of e-services. If you e-enable intra-holistically, you may have to cultivate perfectly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be ubiquitous? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to synthesize seamlessly than to seize intuitively. Think customer-directed. Think B2C2B, turn-key. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to e-enable easily. We will target the term "clicks-and-mortar". We constantly utilize backward-compatible accounting supervising. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! It seems staggering, but it's true!