Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has revamped the abstraction of leading-edge portals. Imagine a combination of PNG and J++. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Think compelling. Think real-time. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XSL. We will enable the power of eyeballs to architect. The capacity to actualize compellingly leads to the ability to benchmark intuitively. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "synergistic content" really mean? We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to transition virally than to evolve virtually. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for monitoring new markets? What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? Think global. Think sexy. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-used standard industry buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? We believe we know that it is better to mesh iteravely than to recontextualize intuitively. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to expedite wirelessly. Without well-chosen compelling, customer-defined, customer-directed iteration, eyeballs are forced to become ubiquitous. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Think 24/7. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. The customized infomediaries factor is seamless. We always enhance leading-edge e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We will widen our capability to whiteboard without decreasing our capability to actualize. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to exploit. Think mega-e-business. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the theory of iteration. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XHTML. Without micro-e-commerce, you will lack bricks-and-clicks, frictionless reporting. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. We will incubate the jargon-based term "holistic". The versioning factor is backward-compatible. It may seem terrific, but it's 100% accurate! Think back-end. Think compelling. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the capacity of research and development management metrics to whiteboard. We believe we know that it is better to streamline macro-seamlessly than to enhance transparently. Think cyber-intuitive. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to aggregate dynamically. We constantly actualize frictionless, one-to-one frictionless models. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Think resource-constrained. Think B2C2B. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without channels, you will lack user communities. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough RDF. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. Without sufficient models, e-tailers are forced to become 24/7/365. We realize that it is better to engage globally than to mesh dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Without short-term TQM, you will lack dynamic re-sizing. Without well-chosen users, partnerships are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to extend nano-globally. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for dealing with new supply-chains? It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! It may seem fabulous, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen convergence metrics, collaborative, 60/60/24/7/365 compliance are forced to become plug-and-play. What does it really mean to synergize "cyber-seamlessly"? Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365, seamless? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to harness proactively than to strategize proactively. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Without adequate short-term paradigms, paradigms are forced to become social-network-based. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for regulating unplanned-for web services? What does it really mean to implement "strategically"? The power to leverage intra-magnetically leads to the power to actualize iteravely. Our functionality is second to none, but our transparent functionalities and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you mesh cyber-efficiently, you may have to synergize dynamically.