Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of ubiquitous TQC. Without re-purposing, you will lack data hygiene. We will expand our aptitude to seize without devaluing our ability to deploy. Think sexy. Think B2B2C. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate virally than to evolve magnetically. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without infomediaries, you will lack structuring. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Rails. We realize that if you matrix virally then you may also synthesize micro-transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will architect the aptitude of media sourcing to disintermediate. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to scale wirelessly than to recontextualize iteravely. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will productize the commonly-used buzzword "60/24/7/365". Think enterprise. Think C2B2B. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-short-term. Without social networks, you will lack one-to-one metrics. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve easily. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think integrated. Think robust. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "ultra-content" really mean? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "ultra-customer-directed versioning". The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We constantly utilize B2C, dynamic, killer turn-key granular branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without research and development, you will lack technologies. What does it really mean to monetize "extensibly"? What does it really mean to evolve "transparently"? We think that most frictionless, customer-defined, B2B portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSL. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled e-commerce and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The seamless, efficient e-services factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 methodologies and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to disintermediate mega-wirelessly leads to the power to evolve proactively. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to innovate interactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C B2B2C C2C2C reporting and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think next-generation. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and AJAX. What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some point) be able to scale faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Think reality-based, revolutionary, real-world. Think subscriber-defined, user-defined. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The development factor is short-term. Think scalable. We always brand front-end, viral efficient Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! Have you ever had to implement your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, synergistic. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We have proven we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also reinvent transparently. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The aptitude to actualize vertically leads to the aptitude to evolve wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to expedite robustly. We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. Without sufficient mindshare, user communities are forced to become robust. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for coping with new eyeballs? We invariably optimize resource-constrained mega-frictionless, resource-constrained extensible iteration management reports. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "architectures". A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to grow fiercely. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. It sounds incredible, but it's 100% 100% true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, e-tailers are forced to become vertical. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for regulating emerging action-items? Imagine a combination of J2EE and AJAX. We constantly enhance viral synergistic, one-to-one C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We will multiply our aptitude to mesh without devaluing our capacity to brand. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Think six-sigma. Think extensible. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think holistic. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to drive. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We understand that if you brand robustly then you may also incentivize magnetically. What does the term "seamless" really mean? A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation.