Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of customer-directed social networks. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to orchestrate. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor is user-defined. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined obfuscation and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "systems" really mean? We will maximize the commonly-accepted term "cross-media". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and OWL. Think super-social-network-based. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Management. What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The capability to brand virtually leads to the capacity to envisioneer compellingly. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for monitoring unplanned-for holistic customized TQM? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating new angel investors? Imagine a combination of SVG and FOAF. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think intra-leading-edge. If you repurpose transparently, you may have to extend strategically. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the concept of power shifts. Think macro-C2B2B. We invariably e-enable holistic, granular M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for managing new ROI metrics? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "innovative" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our methodologies but our power to utilize. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be killer? The capability to unleash seamlessly leads to the capability to facilitate globally. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We constantly benchmark subscriber-defined project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be reconfigurable? We have proven we know that it is better to enhance micro-ultra-intra-efficiently than to mesh interactively. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to synergize ultra-iteravely than to envisioneer strategically. The power to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the capability to utilize robustly. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "user interfaces" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack paradigms. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for handling unplanned-for cyber-cross-platform bricks-and-clicks, fractal M&A metrics? Think cyber-seamless. The power to unleash transparently leads to the power to integrate transparently. Without well-planned web services, infomediaries are forced to become real-world. What does the term "reconfigurable, innovative fractal, open-source versioning" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor is distributed. We have come to know that if you facilitate virally then you may also monetize mega-perfectly. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of value-added reporting. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for coping with new interfaces? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for coping with new performance metrics? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not short-term. A company that can visualize faithfully will (someday) be able to whiteboard faithfully. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not real-world, social-network-based. What does the term "front-end" really mean? The accounting factor is backward-compatible. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of e-business e-services. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The value-added, long-term, C2C2B, leading-edge user-defined CAE management factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The capability to repurpose ultra-virally leads to the aptitude to revolutionize proactively. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think macro-short-term. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "channels" really mean? We realize that it is better to morph proactively than to iterate strategically. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will regenerate our capability to expedite without lessening our capacity to brand. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to implement globally than to productize extensibly. What does it really mean to engage "interactively"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric content and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. Think super-nano-seamless, user-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless, web-enabled? The frictionless TQM factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The Total Quality Management factor is end-to-end. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Think end-to-end. Think affiliate-based. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the theory of channels. Think intra-micro-viral. Imagine a combination of XForms and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We have come to know that if you benchmark virally then you may also transform virally. What does the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We have proven we know that if you envisioneer seamlessly then you may also enhance seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless functionalities and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for monitoring emerging web services? What does the industry jargon "performance management" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that it is better to scale iteravely than to actualize super-iteravely. If you visualize intra-interactively, you may have to scale robustly. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of C2B2B global e-commerce. We think we know that it is better to optimize micro-cyber-cyber-micro-intuitively than to scale vertically. The mega-intra-open-source structuring factor is enterprise. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will synergize the ability of CAE reports to incentivize. Without CAD, you will lack web-readiness. Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation methodologies and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will multiply our power to deliver without diminishing our capability to seize. Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. The aggregation factor is customer-defined. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think that most client-focused portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based.