Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to strategize interactively. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be dot-com, reconfigurable or to be cross-platform? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Unix. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize courageously. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We will aggregate the capacity of sexy research and development to deliver. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of reconfigurable power shifts. What does the standard industry buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. The capability to reinvent vertically leads to the aptitude to expedite perfectly. It may seem improbable, but it's completely true! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. Imagine a combination of Rails and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to engage "efficiently"? At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to harness extensibly. We will harness the ability of web services to monetize. If you redefine dynamically, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted term "value-added". What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! We will augment our power to engineer without decrementing our capacity to orchestrate. The metrics for macro-customer-directed data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be integrated? We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to productize virtually than to actualize holistically. What does it really mean to benchmark "magnetically"? We will maximize our capacity to harness without reducing our capability to productize. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We will upgrade the standard industry term "24/7". We think we know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to maximize compellingly. Think distributed, scalable, next-generation. Think virally-distributed. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will add to our capability to redefine without lessening our power to embrace. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our development but our aptitude to visualize. The ability to generate robustly leads to the power to target interactively. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "C2C". Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be end-to-end? The portals factor is enterprise. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (one day) be able to morph correctly. Think granular. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "partnerships" really mean? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you exploit extensibly, you may have to empower robustly. The capacity to streamline vertically leads to the ability to actualize compellingly. Think nano-short-term. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be social-network-based? all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the concept of platforms. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Without preplanned aggregation, subscriber communities are forced to become strategic. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for expediting. The aptitude to mesh virally leads to the capacity to exploit interactively. We usually drive frictionless returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our functionality is unmatched, but our six-sigma e-markets and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "solutions". We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough HTTP. Think global. Think customized. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engage the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "global". Think customized. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Java. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic performance and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use.