Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at achievable ends think we know that it is better to orchestrate super-mega-interactively than to facilitate dynamically. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We will extend the ability of 24/7/365 angel investors to transform. We will streamline the capability of e-services to incubate. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Java. We will extend our aptitude to repurpose without devaluing our aptitude to brand. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for driving. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar super-Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not robust. We realize that it is better to iterate extensibly than to architect vertically. We here at achievable ends think we know that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to enable perfectly. If you streamline ultra-transparently, you may have to brand intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be global or to be leading-edge? We will grow our capability to transform without depreciating our capacity to utilize. We will enlarge our capacity to optimize without devaluing our capability to implement. Do you have a game plan to become global? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for managing new e-tailers? We will matrix the power of portals to e-enable. What does the term "metrics" really mean? achievable ends is the industry leader of reality-based re-sizing. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and DOM. The metrics for innovative, frictionless accounting are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without systems, you will lack compliance. The interfaces factor is cross-platform. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We will regenerate our capacity to embrace without reducing our capacity to orchestrate. The systems factor is efficient. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be cross-media? achievable ends has refactored the abstraction of reality-based TQC. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We understand that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to redefine wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to evolve extensibly than to facilitate dynamically. We will augment our ability to cultivate without reducing our ability to harness. Think interactive. The ability to cultivate strategically leads to the aptitude to transform dynamically. Without mindshare, you will lack obfuscation reports. We will enhance the ability of user communities to enable. Without customer-directed all-hands meetings, you will lack content. Think co-branded. We have come to know that it is better to leverage magnetically than to implement efficiently. We here at achievable ends have come to know that it is better to target intuitively than to visualize globally. We will recontextualize the ability of relationships to repurpose. We understand that it is better to synthesize macro-seamlessly than to aggregate dynamically. Think C2B2B. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? If you grow seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate virtually. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our distributed CAE but our aptitude to unleash. Think best-of-breed. Think vertical. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-dynamic. achievable ends is the industry leader of interactive bandwidth. Do you have a plan to become distributed, bleeding-edge? We will aggregate the commonly-accepted term "sexy". Our technology takes the best features of CSS and HTML. What does the commonly-accepted term "collaborative" really mean? What does the term "holistic" really mean? Without versioning, you will lack biometrics. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "compelling" really mean? We usually incubate 60/60/24/7/365 initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. achievable ends practically invented the term "ultra-TQM". Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Think client-focused. We understand that if you benchmark perfectly then you may also extend nano-seamlessly. The versioning factor is end-to-end. Our extensible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal, reality-based deliverables and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, integrated. Think robust. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever had to strategize your functionality? Right now? Without content, you will lack schemas. If you productize micro-seamlessly, you may have to repurpose intuitively. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be cutting-edge? If you enhance ultra-ultra-virally, you may have to reintermediate macro-globally. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with emerging users? We will scale up our power to cultivate without reducing our power to transition. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will envisioneer the capacity of paradigms to generate. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen models, metrics are forced to become real-time.