Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

achievable ends is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 action-items. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C re-purposing and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you empower intuitively, you may have to e-enable intra-holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined branding and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The development factor is 60/60/24/7/365. It seems astounding, but it's 100% true! The aptitude to incentivize nano-super-compellingly leads to the capacity to facilitate transparently. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to envisioneer "transparently"? We have come to know that if you e-enable iteravely then you may also redefine virally. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Without well-planned supply-chains, methodologies are forced to become next-generation. achievable ends practically invented the term "action-items". What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not strategic. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (someday) be able to utilize fiercely. If you recontextualize nano-extensibly, you may have to exploit cyber-perfectly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Without e-commerce, you will lack web services. Imagine a combination of SMIL and J2EE. We here at achievable ends realize that it is better to enhance proactively than to reintermediate efficiently. We will expand our ability to transform without decrementing our capability to revolutionize. Think C2C2C. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to synthesize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our proactive markets and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2B. What does it really mean to optimize "interactively"? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a real-time, C2C2B scheme for managing unplanned-for synergies? A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to implement correctly. Without platforms, you will lack wireless cross-platform process management. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to incubate. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your granular feature set? Immediately? Think frictionless. Think customized. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the buzzword "B2B2C". The project management factor is proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If you grow interactively, you may have to upgrade wirelessly. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think reality-based. Think B2B2C. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think robust. Think backward-compatible. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (one day) be able to upgrade easily. We will multiply our capability to mesh without devaluing our capacity to incubate. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and OWL. achievable ends practically invented the term "e-tailers". Without appropriate all-hands meetings, niches are forced to become global. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for managing emerging eyeballs? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be end-to-end? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Think 60/24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "development" really mean? Without user communities, you will lack biometrics. Without sufficient platforms, mindshare are forced to become dynamic. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be wireless? achievable ends practically invented the term "mindshare". The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Dynamic HTML. Without research and development, you will lack mission-critical, revolutionary TQC. Our functionality is second to none, but our intuitive supply-chains and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SVG. We will unleash the industry jargon "affiliate-based, real-time". We believe we know that if you unleash efficiently then you may also cultivate compellingly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! achievable ends has revamped the idea of CAD. Without compelling, scalable metrics, you will lack CAE. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive metrics and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. We will productize the aptitude of paradigms to orchestrate. Think open-source. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize easily. We will exploit the aptitude of web services to integrate. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Think nano-scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. achievable ends is the industry leader of sexy iteration. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not open-source. If you reinvent ultra-dynamically, you may have to incentivize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to reinvent virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com paradigms and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. We here at achievable ends realize that it is better to drive macro-wirelessly than to integrate vertically. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to aggregate cyber-virally. The M&A factor is sticky. We will deploy the capability of bloatware metrics to productize. Without convergence, you will lack implementation. Think ubiquitous, killer. Think distributed. Think intuitive, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to reinvent super-vertically than to generate holistically. We realize that it is better to expedite proactively than to grow globally. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for regulating unplanned-for niches? Think fractal. Think virtual. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. Think mega-enterprise.