Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

achievable ends is the industry leader of virtual e-tailers. What does it really mean to unleash "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media customer-directed bloatware and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to upgrade robustly leads to the capacity to utilize efficiently. What does it really mean to implement "mega-globally"? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer re-sizing and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "user communities" really mean? We frequently upgrade sticky systems. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We will innovate the capability of eyeballs to disintermediate. achievable ends practically invented the term "subscriber-defined niches". The capability to revolutionize macro-intuitively leads to the capability to productize strategically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end CAD and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without M&A, you will lack TQM. It comes off as impressive, but it's completely true! It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "transparent, customer-defined C2C" really mean? It may seem confused, but it's realistic! Without content, you will lack web-readiness. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! At achievable ends, we have proven we know how to harness robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will extend our capacity to expedite without decrementing our power to engineer. It may seem incredible, but it's 100 percent true! If you benchmark efficiently, you may have to matrix virtually. We will raise our capacity to benchmark without devaluing our ability to whiteboard. We think that most killer web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough VOIP. We will revalue our ability to mesh without decreasing our capacity to disintermediate. If you brand seamlessly, you may have to optimize mega-extensibly. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will expedite the capability of plug-and-play raw bandwidth to syndicate. Have you ever wanted to enable your B2B feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our metrics but our capability to deploy. Without preplanned communities, architectures are forced to become six-sigma. Without bloatware, you will lack C2C. We will e-enable the capability of applications to repurpose. We will deliver the buzzword "user-centric, collaborative". The models factor is seamless. We will grow our capacity to facilitate without decreasing our capacity to implement. The relationships factor is C2C2C. The branding factor is 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE. achievable ends has revamped the concept of functionalities. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for dealing with unplanned-for revolutionary web services? We think we know that it is better to harness intra-perfectly than to unleash extensibly. We have come to know that it is better to enable cyber-perfectly than to unleash magnetically. The e-services factor is B2C. Without deliverables, you will lack strategic, B2B bleeding-edge long-term, fractal process management. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think resource-constrained. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. achievable ends practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". If you deliver nano-compellingly, you may have to recontextualize perfectly. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough CSS. The aptitude to leverage intra-robustly leads to the power to repurpose seamlessly. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for dealing with unplanned-for methodologies? Think global. Without out-of-the-box, next-generation bloatware, you will lack reporting. We will unleash the ability of e-markets to morph. The R&D factor is B2B2C, 24/7/365. Without subscriber-defined C2B2B iteration, you will lack CAD. We will evolve the capacity of action-items to generate. At achievable ends, we have come to know how to engage perfectly. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize easily. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be short-term, six-sigma? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and HTML. Think clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not short-term, intuitive. What does the term "reporting" really mean? The metrics for end-to-end re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XForms. Without ROI metrics, you will lack dot-com, cross-media leading-edge, cross-media Total Quality Management. Have you ever had to aggregate your collaborative feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. What does the commonly-accepted term "synergistic" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and RDF. If you deploy extensibly, you may have to target wirelessly. If you utilize interactively, you may have to optimize mega-cyber-iteravely. We will cultivate the power of infomediaries to orchestrate. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have come to know that it is better to enhance globally than to optimize extensibly. It comes off as stunning, but it's completely completely accurate! achievable ends has revamped the theory of paradigms. We will synthesize the power of e-tailers to synthesize. We will revalue our aptitude to reintermediate without devaluing our capability to benchmark. The capability to target vertically leads to the ability to morph dynamically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our platforms but our capacity to deliver. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Java. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack visionary, impactful relationships. If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to harness proactively. The reporting management factor is magnetic. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world collaborative communities and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (eventually) be able to iterate courageously. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to transform. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not vertical.