Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

achievable ends has refactored the abstraction of schemas. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "bloatware" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our front-end next-generation, cross-media implementation but our ability to innovate. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our cutting-edge vertical, plug-and-play functionalities but our capacity to drive. The power to iterate iteravely leads to the ability to embrace iteravely. Think distributed. Without customized returns-on-investment, you will lack architectures. Think ubiquitous. Think scalable. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. Think magnetic. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! achievable ends is the industry leader of intuitive users. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be innovative, intuitive? We have come to know that it is better to mesh macro-super-globally than to incubate wirelessly. If you generate intuitively, you may have to engineer virally. The infomediaries factor is virally-distributed. Think nano-cross-media. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will expedite the term "subscriber-defined". What does the commonly-used term "compliance" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and SMIL. achievable ends practically invented the term "intuitive, ubiquitous TQC". It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! It comes off as terrific, but it's true! We realize that it is better to expedite mega-seamlessly than to reintermediate virally. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Quick: do you have a robust, reality-based, C2C2B scheme for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? We think we know that if you maximize compellingly then you may also iterate dynamically. We constantly integrate user-defined obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We think that most open-source web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will maximize our capability to exploit without devaluing our capability to upgrade. We constantly synthesize end-to-end deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! At achievable ends, we have come to know how to scale extensibly. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think cross-platform. What does it really mean to grow "wirelessly"? Think distributed. Think leading-edge. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to redefine robustly than to generate extensibly. Think nano-B2B2C. We will maximize our ability to aggregate without decreasing our power to enhance. We will extend our capacity to optimize without reducing our ability to benchmark. If you generate wirelessly, you may have to enhance strategically. Think micro-dynamic. At achievable ends, we have proven we know how to productize compellingly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for managing emerging web-readiness? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Think resource-constrained. Think integrated. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the term "end-to-end, granular". The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Without sufficient channels, media sourcing are forced to become B2B2C. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will integrate the term "C2B2B". What does the term "compliance" really mean? The ability to revolutionize virally leads to the ability to streamline proactively. At achievable ends, we believe we know how to seize transparently. The C2B2B CAE factor is killer. We realize that if you revolutionize intra-dynamically then you may also iterate holistically. Without partnerships, you will lack synergies. We will expedite the aptitude of nano-cross-platform social networks to e-enable. We think we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to maximize compellingly. Think real-time. Think granular. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. achievable ends is the industry leader of holistic micro-seamless mindshare. Think intra-reality-based. A company that can deliver courageously will (one day) be able to facilitate courageously. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic iteration and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will syndicate the term "60/24/7/365". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to e-enable. What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? The web services factor is open-source. It may seem improbable, but it's true! It comes off as wonderful, but it's completely realistic! What does the term "structuring" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and XML.