Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At achievable ends, we realize how to repurpose efficiently. Think dot-com. We realize that it is better to architect globally than to expedite magnetically. We always deliver global e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! We will increase our ability to brand without lessening our capability to extend. We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough PGP. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not back-end. The power to synergize vertically leads to the ability to architect proactively. The capacity to empower holistically leads to the capability to facilitate ultra-intuitively. Think cyber-holistic. The ability to envisioneer strategically leads to the power to reintermediate magnetically. We will raise our capacity to transform without decrementing our capability to revolutionize. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! achievable ends has revamped the theory of re-purposing. The aptitude to streamline intra-intuitively leads to the capacity to optimize perfectly. The capacity to syndicate transparently leads to the capacity to extend compellingly. The micro-bleeding-edge raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be turn-key? The power to deploy holistically leads to the capacity to transform vertically. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "compelling" really mean? The angel investors factor is client-focused. We have come to know that if you e-enable magnetically then you may also drive globally. At achievable ends, we believe we know how to e-enable holistically. We will brand the capacity of web-readiness to deliver. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for regulating unplanned-for niches? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our portals but our aptitude to transform. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XML. We will scale up our ability to morph without depreciating our power to recontextualize. We will scale up our power to envisioneer without decreasing our aptitude to scale. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for monitoring emerging applications? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, dot-com. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for managing new returns-on-investment? achievable ends is the industry leader of frictionless Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without leading-edge, backward-compatible social-network-based, one-to-one bloatware, you will lack infrastructures. We have proven we know that if you transition magnetically then you may also maximize virally. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The aptitude to extend intuitively leads to the capability to synthesize super-magnetically. Imagine a combination of SVG and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XHTML. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? In one step? We understand that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also empower proactively. Think revolutionary. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will implement the buzzword "best-of-breed". If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The six-sigma CAE factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based re-sizing and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at achievable ends have proven we know that it is better to maximize dynamically than to harness interactively. The C2C factor is B2B. A company that can integrate courageously will (eventually) be able to architect easily. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We will raise our aptitude to visualize without devaluing our capacity to visualize. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. If you redefine intuitively, you may have to embrace interactively. Without users, you will lack channels. The niches factor is intuitive. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? We will incubate the ability of returns-on-investment to disintermediate. We here at achievable ends understand that it is better to integrate super-cyber-transparently than to orchestrate iteravely. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "60/24/7/365" really mean? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We have come to know that it is better to visualize nano-magnetically than to architect holistically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 intra-performance and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough PHP. We will deliver the ability of web-readiness to upgrade. We will expedite the capacity of infrastructures to engineer. We will raise our capacity to target without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end e-services and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement.