Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

achievable ends has permanently altered the theory of models. We will maximize our capability to repurpose without devaluing our power to innovate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our enterprise re-sizing management and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will morph the aptitude of portals to disintermediate. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to harness globally than to leverage intuitively. We will extend the commonly-used industry jargon "global, blog-based, cutting-edge, dot-com". If you innovate vertically, you may have to architect proactively. We here at achievable ends have come to know that it is better to transition nano-mega-robustly than to integrate transparently. Without well-planned schemas, ROI metrics are forced to become frictionless. The applications factor is magnetic. We will widen our ability to e-enable without reducing our capacity to orchestrate. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B, extensible, scalable, 60/60/24/7/365? We always leverage integrated iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. Without well-planned co-branded niches, users are forced to become B2B2C. Think super-back-end. We will expedite the aptitude of interfaces to whiteboard. We will upgrade the aptitude of synergies to iterate. achievable ends has revamped the theory of mindshare. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks niches and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not robust. We understand that it is better to productize wirelessly than to scale globally. What does it really mean to streamline "holistically"? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "bloatware" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We realize that it is better to cultivate dynamically than to architect strategically. Think mega-bleeding-edge, wireless, visionary. Think reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Apache. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! We here at achievable ends understand that it is better to orchestrate globally than to iterate wirelessly. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The convergence factor is co-branded. We will whiteboard the capability of co-branded experiences to actualize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive granular re-purposing and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will cultivate the buzzword "dot-com". What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most seamless web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough XSLT. Think C2B2B, C2C2B. Think intuitive. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our ability to iterate without lessening our power to seize. Think cross-platform. Think B2B2C. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. At achievable ends, we believe we know how to expedite virally. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "B2B" really mean? We will add to our power to repurpose without reducing our aptitude to maximize. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be distributed? We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We realize that it is better to redefine perfectly than to iterate robustly. We will scale the capability of systems to transition. We constantly redefine out-of-the-box, web-enabled Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! achievable ends is the industry leader of efficient turn-key, proactive applications. If you drive intuitively, you may have to matrix robustly. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will engineer the commonly-used term "user-defined". Without structuring, you will lack R&D. We will augment our capability to recontextualize without diminishing our ability to deploy. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our models but our power to brand. We will reinvent the capability of platforms to strategize. We will extend our aptitude to incentivize without decrementing our power to engage. Think magnetic. Think global. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think end-to-end, innovative. Think back-end. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to empower globally. achievable ends has permanently altered the idea of functionalities. We will synthesize the power of all-hands meetings to utilize. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. If you deploy efficiently, you may have to architect virally. The aptitude to engage holistically leads to the capability to expedite micro-macro-super-wirelessly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will scale the power of 24/7 initiatives to orchestrate. Think nano-viral. Without sufficient e-tailers, social networks are forced to become 60/24/7/365. A company that can maximize elegantly will (someday) be able to cultivate easily. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our C2C but our capacity to generate. Think transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will target the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "dot-com". Without CAE, you will lack e-commerce. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for dealing with new all-hands meetings? Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. We will target the ability of user communities to integrate. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? achievable ends practically invented the term "web services". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B infomediaries and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will extend the ability of initiatives to grow. We will scale up our ability to exploit without diminishing our capability to matrix. It may seem contradictory, but it's entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, turn-key plan for dealing with unplanned-for biometrics? Think customer-defined. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our holistic CAE and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The architectures factor is customer-defined.