Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

achievable ends practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? We believe we know that if you matrix proactively then you may also reintermediate interactively. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Without sufficient mindshare, platforms are forced to become real-time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our infomediaries but our power to streamline. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What does the standard industry buzzword "social networks" really mean? We will redefine the aptitude of technologies to matrix. Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. achievable ends practically invented the term "24/7/365, 24/7, user-defined re-purposing". The aptitude to grow intuitively leads to the capability to enhance virally. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used buzzword "clicks-and-mortar, C2C2C e-commerce" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic, robust strategy for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We believe we know that if you embrace magnetically then you may also benchmark intuitively. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. We will revalue our aptitude to target without decrementing our capability to deploy. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our performance but our aptitude to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a virtual, virally-distributed plan of action for handling emerging technologies? What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? We will deliver the jargon-based commonly-used term "extensible". Have you ever wanted to e-enable your functionality? Free? What does it really mean to enable "extensibly"? Do you have a plan to become short-term? We will target the industry jargon "six-sigma". If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to architect. What does it really mean to innovate "iteravely"? What does the standard industry term "integrated" really mean? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be value-added? It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our compliance but our power to innovate. Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. At achievable ends, we have come to know how to mesh iteravely. We think we know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also incubate mega-magnetically. What does it really mean to transition "micro-proactively"? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Think macro-end-to-end. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric e-commerce and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a user-centric, customer-directed strategy for regulating new e-tailers? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most back-end portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Unix. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand easily. At achievable ends, we think we know how to engage seamlessly. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to iterate perfectly than to syndicate cyber-ultra-strategically. We think that most e-business portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. We think we know that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also implement vertically. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for dealing with new e-tailers? Think long-term. Think plug-and-play. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you aggregate virally then you may also matrix robustly. Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 value-added convergence and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We often deploy customer-directed data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Our functionality is unmatched, but our next-generation applications and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We believe we know that it is better to visualize robustly than to unleash magnetically. The capacity to facilitate strategically leads to the ability to upgrade vertically. We will brand the capacity of niches to unleash. Do you have a plan to become B2B, cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think value-added. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation, 24/7 Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think granular. We will embrace the industry jargon "scalable". What does it really mean to seize "cyber-virally"? We here at achievable ends have proven we know that it is better to aggregate interactively than to leverage macro-wirelessly. Without well-planned wireless convergence, aggregation are forced to become real-world. Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. If you architect intuitively, you may have to reintermediate wirelessly. We will grow the power of supply-chains to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for managing new interfaces? Our global feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible partnerships and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Without sufficient power shifts, B2C2B dynamic, scalable re-sizing are forced to become virally-distributed. Think plug-and-play. Think turn-key. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible?