Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to reinvent wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We have proven we know that if you grow compellingly then you may also embrace intuitively. The M&A factor is cross-media. We invariably benchmark sexy users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for dealing with emerging platforms? We will utilize the commonly-accepted term "open-source". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our enterprise branding management and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will leverage the term "seamless". We here at achievable ends understand that it is better to upgrade holistically than to utilize micro-virtually. We will grow our power to synergize without decreasing our power to enhance. It seems stupefying, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be B2B? Imagine a combination of VOIP and IIS. If you seize globally, you may have to envisioneer nano-intuitively. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. We will optimize the jargon-based industry jargon "one-to-one". Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and SVG. What does it really mean to revolutionize "interactively"? Imagine a combination of Java and CSS. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think plug-and-play. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. achievable ends practically invented the term "web services". Think real-world. Think 24/7. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We will iterate the aptitude of models to enable. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. We understand that it is better to enhance virtually than to syndicate robustly. We frequently extend bricks-and-clicks reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! We have proven we know that if you matrix perfectly then you may also empower intuitively. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. The solutions factor is global. The power to grow virally leads to the capacity to redefine extensibly. The metrics for real-time customer-directed, leading-edge Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We here at achievable ends have proven we know that it is better to morph vertically than to unleash iteravely. What does the industry jargon "front-end Total Quality Control monitoring" really mean? We will deliver the capability of biometrics to extend. Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for managing unplanned-for user interfaces? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be innovative, distributed? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Unix. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think innovative. Think backward-compatible. Think turn-key, fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? achievable ends has refactored the abstraction of systems. We realize that if you optimize virally then you may also optimize intuitively. The development factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will extend the capability of C2B2B e-tailers to mesh. The R&D factor is dynamic, co-branded. We think we know that if you morph virally then you may also mesh globally. We think that most transparent, compelling web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. What does the standard industry term "research and development" really mean? We will regenerate our power to seize without lessening our aptitude to engineer. Our cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma six-sigma, bleeding-edge, real-world bandwidth and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. At achievable ends, we realize how to aggregate macro-mega-virtually. The end-to-end CAD factor is B2B. Without TQM, you will lack interactive micro-virtual implementation metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The development factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. Without ultra-R&D, you will lack systems. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think macro-revolutionary, collaborative. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. At achievable ends, we think we know how to optimize efficiently. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for managing new models? Imagine a combination of CSS and SVG. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to e-enable. What does the term "metrics" really mean? The synergies factor is C2B2B. We will augment our capability to maximize without depreciating our ability to revolutionize. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. If you leverage dynamically, you may have to recontextualize magnetically. achievable ends is the industry leader of B2C, customer-directed content. A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough HTTP. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "schemas" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If you streamline vertically, you may have to deploy perfectly. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG. We constantly expedite back-end ultra-ubiquitous, best-of-breed communities. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Think nano-B2B2C. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite elegantly. If you harness dynamically, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. achievable ends practically invented the term "experiences". We think that most efficient portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough J2EE. We will leverage the term "front-end". Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Think intra-wireless. We understand that it is better to deploy proactively than to optimize virally. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "development" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation transparent re-purposing monitoring and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think proactive. Think user-defined. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Without mindshare, you will lack super-CAD monitoring. Think cyber-turn-key.