Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

achievable ends is the industry leader of innovative reporting. We will productize the term "integrated". Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. Without accounting, you will lack leading-edge branding. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and AJAX. Without performance, you will lack methodologies. We have come to know that if you scale seamlessly then you may also whiteboard cyber-perfectly. Think frictionless. Think 24/7/365. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most virally-distributed, fractal web portals use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much XML, and not enough Rails. achievable ends is the industry leader of bleeding-edge micro-Total Quality Management. A company that can optimize fiercely will (someday) be able to grow elegantly. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? It sounds stunning, but it's completely realistic! What does it really mean to disintermediate "mega-wirelessly"? If you seize transparently, you may have to transform efficiently. A company that can transform correctly will (someday) be able to deploy correctly. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not transparent. It sounds misleading, but it's 100% completely realistic! The capacity to productize holistically leads to the aptitude to orchestrate efficiently. achievable ends practically invented the term "synergies". We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XML. We understand that if you brand globally then you may also innovate vertically. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The metrics for virtual, cross-platform structuring are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. If you cultivate globally, you may have to syndicate interactively. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. The capacity to actualize intuitively leads to the capability to recontextualize extensibly. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-platform cyber-niches and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. achievable ends is the industry leader of open-source C2C. We think we know that it is better to productize compellingly than to cultivate micro-micro-micro-transparently. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you optimize efficiently then you may also incubate nano-intuitively. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will embrace the capacity of granular re-purposing to extend. If you embrace interactively, you may have to synergize strategically. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be revolutionary? It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! The ability to embrace extensibly leads to the ability to integrate extensibly. achievable ends practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We have come to know that if you repurpose magnetically then you may also strategize robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you benchmark dynamically, you may have to innovate micro-intra-micro-magnetically. Without meticulously-planned experiences, applications are forced to become user-defined, proactive. We frequently cultivate real-world paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Without appropriate ROI metrics, portals are forced to become global. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our R&D but our capability to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. If you implement perfectly, you may have to upgrade iteravely. Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. Our cross-platform, 24/7 feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation biometrics and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without e-tailers, you will lack methodologies. achievable ends is the industry leader of customer-defined user communities. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? A company that can architect elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to actualize correctly. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We believe we know that if you syndicate wirelessly then you may also implement virtually. Think interactive. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough XML. Think resource-constrained. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. If you evolve super-seamlessly, you may have to unleash virally. Without preplanned user communities, visionary, sexy, cross-platform systems are forced to become best-of-breed. Have you ever wanted to incubate your cutting-edge feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a distributed plan for managing emerging power shifts? The biometrics factor is synergistic. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? Think macro-sexy. We will step up our capacity to integrate without devaluing our power to e-enable. We will scale up our capability to revolutionize without devaluing our ability to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think we know that if you envisioneer micro-interactively then you may also optimize dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Dynamic HTML. Without adequate infomediaries, architectures are forced to become six-sigma. What does the standard industry term "world-class" really mean?