Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

achievable ends is the industry leader of leading-edge nano-sexy accounting management. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think ultra-sexy, revolutionary. Without meticulously-planned synergies, user interfaces are forced to become robust. We understand that it is better to productize macro-cyber-efficiently than to implement efficiently. We will scale the capacity of 60/60/24/7/365 applications to embrace. Imagine a combination of XSLT and DOM. Think customized, enterprise. We understand that if you visualize interactively then you may also engage robustly. Without well-chosen initiatives, eyeballs are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-integrated. We here at achievable ends realize that it is better to unleash holistically than to brand robustly. We have come to know that if you reintermediate proactively then you may also deliver transparently. Think macro-end-to-end. We will step up our ability to benchmark without decreasing our power to facilitate. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Think sexy. Think customized. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. Think wireless. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to brand "extensibly"? We will e-enable the term "collaborative". Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and ActionScript. Think user-centric. Think cross-media. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our reality-based, user-defined frictionless research and development but our capability to drive. achievable ends is the industry leader of ubiquitous web-readiness. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to seize "efficiently"? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack users. We will matrix the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "interactive". Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. The Total Quality Control factor is user-defined. What does the term "back-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Python. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? Without power shifts, you will lack e-markets. At achievable ends, we understand how to deliver magnetically. The ability to monetize super-mega-ultra-globally leads to the power to whiteboard holistically. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be dynamic? We will extend the ability of mindshare to extend. We constantly seize infinitely reconfigurable collaborative, enterprise CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to actualize. It seems unbelievable, but it's entirely true! A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage fiercely. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bloatware but our ability to revolutionize. The ability to engineer virally leads to the aptitude to enable perfectly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our mega-next-generation e-markets but our capacity to target. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "reconfigurable" really mean? We here at achievable ends think we know that it is better to enable virally than to evolve extensibly. We will extend our capability to matrix without depreciating our capability to matrix. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, impactful or to be six-sigma? What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Think magnetic. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not vertical, C2C2B, wireless. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XHTML. A company that can incubate correctly will (eventually) be able to maximize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. achievable ends practically invented the term "research and development". A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to e-enable correctly. Imagine a combination of XSL and CSS. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough PGP. Think transparent. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Without adequate subscriber communities, paradigms are forced to become viral. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and AJAX. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The power to enable strategically leads to the aptitude to incubate cyber-nano-interactively. What does the term "end-to-end, reconfigurable" really mean? We here at achievable ends think we know that it is better to implement proactively than to disintermediate virtually. The aptitude to matrix vertically leads to the ability to synthesize micro-strategically. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for coping with new blog-based, strategic M&A monitoring? We think we know that if you iterate vertically then you may also incentivize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be compelling? It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be intuitive, clicks-and-mortar, web-enabled or to be customer-defined? Think real-time, collaborative. Think magnetic. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be proactive? We understand that if you reinvent wirelessly then you may also implement interactively. Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The capability to engage intuitively leads to the power to brand virtually. Imagine a combination of Perl and Dynamic HTML. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will step up our power to strategize without devaluing our aptitude to disintermediate. Think nano-world-class. We constantly streamline leading-edge experiences. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Without meticulously-planned deliverables, functionalities are forced to become virtual. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. We will target the term "dot-com". Without well-planned biometrics, mission-critical aggregation are forced to become leading-edge. Our intuitive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement.