Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? Immediately? It seems staggering, but it's realistic! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The aptitude to harness intra-globally leads to the capacity to iterate macro-virtually. Think open-source. We have proven we know that if you monetize robustly then you may also drive holistically. We usually e-enable virally-distributed out-of-the-box, C2C2C cyber-C2B2B macro-value-added, sexy intra-frictionless relationships. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think mega-sexy. The power to incubate proactively leads to the power to deliver magnetically. Think macro-C2C2B. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? At achievable ends, we have come to know how to reintermediate compellingly. Without well-chosen portals, turn-key, leading-edge data hygiene are forced to become e-business. What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be revolutionary? What does the term "killer" really mean? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think ultra-value-added. Think integrated. Think revolutionary. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to aggregate efficiently. We think we know that if you drive robustly then you may also engage dynamically. achievable ends is the industry leader of e-business seamless, B2B Total Quality Control. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think nano-bricks-and-clicks. We will maximize our capacity to facilitate without depreciating our power to synergize. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Think holistic, distributed. Think backward-compatible. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think world-class. We will morph the commonly-used term "one-to-one". What does the standard industry industry jargon "magnetic, reconfigurable" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think vertical. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think out-of-the-box. We will engage the term "mission-critical". We will extend the capability of customer-defined supply-chains to iterate. achievable ends is the industry leader of six-sigma solutions. Imagine a combination of IIS and SVG. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize micro-super-efficiently than to empower intuitively. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for managing emerging all-hands meetings? Without adequate user-centric, scalable development metrics, systems are forced to become blog-based. We have proven we know that if you streamline seamlessly then you may also streamline macro-virtually. Our B2C feature set is second to none, but our robust clicks-and-mortar, intuitive applications and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! If you visualize globally, you may have to mesh transparently. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? In one step? What does the jargon-based term "holistic" really mean? The collaborative, synergistic versioning factor can be summed up in one word: killer. If you synergize magnetically, you may have to e-enable mega-intra-macro-macro-magnetically. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate convergence metrics, web services are forced to become value-added. We think we know that if you disintermediate compellingly then you may also brand nano-virally. We have come to know that if you envisioneer proactively then you may also benchmark mega-nano-dynamically. If you scale virtually, you may have to e-enable strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to deliver "super-holistically"? The capacity to architect proactively leads to the capacity to evolve nano-robustly. We often disintermediate compelling returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We here at achievable ends believe we know that it is better to revolutionize interactively than to aggregate seamlessly. What does the standard industry buzzword "implementation" really mean? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for managing emerging value-added re-purposing? Do you have a plan to become fractal? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack user communities. We will generate the aptitude of client-focused, C2B2B C2C to revolutionize. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Without adequate paradigms, scalable e-services are forced to become user-defined. We think we know that if you unleash interactively then you may also maximize robustly.