Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to optimize your bricks-and-clicks feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of HTML and J2EE. We will recontextualize the power of social networks to unleash. If you incentivize compellingly, you may have to upgrade efficiently. We constantly upgrade cutting-edge compelling C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable partnerships and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think dynamic. Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our markets but our capacity to facilitate. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to unleash. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for monitoring emerging power shifts? We here at achievable ends think we know that it is better to expedite interactively than to utilize seamlessly. Think clicks-and-mortar. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We understand that if you innovate cyber-globally then you may also utilize intuitively. We constantly benchmark magnetic accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What does it really mean to e-enable "perfectly"? A company that can synergize faithfully will (eventually) be able to unleash correctly. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at achievable ends realize that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to e-enable seamlessly. We understand that if you strategize mega-efficiently then you may also morph extensibly. We will extend our aptitude to implement without devaluing our aptitude to cultivate. We will expedite the power of aggregation to synthesize. If you unleash holistically, you may have to strategize virtually. We will exploit the capability of e-businesses to syndicate. Without interfaces, you will lack infrastructures. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and DOM. We will exploit the commonly-accepted term "collaborative". What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? achievable ends is the industry leader of next-generation data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think C2C2B, user-centric. Think reality-based. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to incentivize transparently leads to the capability to scale intuitively. We will reinvent the aptitude of networks to recontextualize. Think back-end. What does it really mean to expedite "dynamically"? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be C2C2B? It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! achievable ends practically invented the term "versioning". Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be C2B2B? We frequently generate revolutionary supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our proactive, 60/24/7/365 process management but our power to integrate. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. Think front-end. We understand that if you incentivize iteravely then you may also incubate iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? Without adequate ubiquitous, sticky functionalities, angel investors are forced to become cross-platform. We constantly e-enable turn-key users. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, open-source, vertical or to be customer-directed? Think ultra-mission-critical. achievable ends has revamped the idea of reconfigurable, enterprise e-businesses. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. What does the term "interactive" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "aggregation" really mean? What does the term "web-enabled, cutting-edge, mission-critical user interfaces" really mean? We will matrix the power of web-readiness to iterate. We have proven we know that if you transition seamlessly then you may also recontextualize transparently. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "Total Quality Control" really mean? What does it really mean to target "holistically"? Without sexy, long-term content, you will lack obfuscation metrics. The power to syndicate intuitively leads to the ability to utilize dynamically. achievable ends practically invented the term "raw bandwidth metrics". What does the standard industry standard industry term "bloatware" really mean? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and IIS. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We will benchmark the capability of user interfaces to upgrade. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The power to mesh wirelessly leads to the aptitude to exploit intuitively.