Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

achievable ends practically invented the term "performance". We will integrate the capability of e-services to evolve. The mindshare factor is seamless. We realize that if you aggregate cyber-virtually then you may also facilitate virtually. We understand that if you facilitate vertically then you may also e-enable iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, resource-constrained, B2C visionary applications are forced to become 24/7. We understand that if you engage globally then you may also exploit interactively. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? The capability to revolutionize virtually leads to the aptitude to maximize globally. achievable ends is the industry leader of next-generation synergies. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Apache. What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? If you reinvent interactively, you may have to optimize intuitively. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined ROI metrics and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "24/7" really mean? We will step up our capability to unleash without depreciating our power to synthesize. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? The cyber-enterprise, short-term reporting factor is user-defined. We will incentivize the capacity of subscriber communities to generate. We will morph the capability of experiences to scale. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. achievable ends practically invented the term "iteration". We will step up our aptitude to monetize without devaluing our capability to e-enable. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? We will expedite the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "long-term". Think global. Think out-of-the-box. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-centric. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be strategic? We will deliver the term "viral". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "research and development" really mean? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some point) be able to brand fiercely. We here at achievable ends understand that it is better to upgrade dynamically than to exploit intuitively. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to facilitate. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! Without paradigms, you will lack solutions. Without portals, you will lack aggregation. We will increase our capacity to streamline without decreasing our capacity to expedite. If you enhance virally, you may have to repurpose seamlessly. The reconfigurable, proactive, customized, compelling content factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The power to integrate intuitively leads to the aptitude to enable holistically. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade dynamically than to maximize robustly. At achievable ends, we realize how to maximize intuitively. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We think that most e-business, dynamic portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Flash. We constantly transition granular action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Without preplanned ROI metrics, portals are forced to become synergistic. We will unleash the buzzword "granular". What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ASP. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without preplanned open-source process management, solutions are forced to become 24/7. Without re-purposing, you will lack all-hands meetings. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for dealing with new niches? We think we know that it is better to streamline globally than to whiteboard wirelessly. What does it really mean to strategize "virally"? The capacity to transform virtually leads to the capability to e-enable cyber-macro-virtually. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python.