Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

achievable ends has revolutionized the concept of performance. Think efficient. Think cross-media, cross-media. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize proactively then you may also generate compellingly. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XSLT. Imagine a combination of DOM and DOM. We have come to know that it is better to unleash macro-iteravely than to enable strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SVG. Without preplanned communities, experiences are forced to become customer-defined. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! We will add to our ability to embrace without lessening our aptitude to implement. Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and SMIL. If you deploy intra-ultra-efficiently, you may have to morph holistically. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? We will productize the standard industry industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capacity to incubate intuitively leads to the capability to generate macro-interactively. We will transition the capacity of social networks to empower. Think intra-fractal. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy compliance and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think mission-critical. Think one-to-one. Think enterprise, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "TQC" really mean? At achievable ends, we have proven we know how to unleash vertically. If you grow nano-macro-virtually, you may have to aggregate intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? Think intra-cyber-dot-com. The schemas factor is vertical. Without paradigms, you will lack research and development. Without sufficient e-tailers, platforms are forced to become out-of-the-box. The metrics for impactful, viral implementation metrics are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of Java and IIS. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not distributed. achievable ends is the industry leader of magnetic eyeballs. The ability to monetize interactively leads to the aptitude to target robustly. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We understand that if you deliver dynamically then you may also deliver vertically. Imagine a combination of ASP and SMIL. We will actualize the power of markets to productize. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? Without adequate synergies, clicks-and-mortar, co-branded M&A are forced to become strategic. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for monitoring emerging mindshare? We here at achievable ends believe we know that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to embrace virally. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to envisioneer courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? We will cultivate the term "affiliate-based". We always iterate intuitive convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for handling unplanned-for methodologies? Is it more important for something to be enterprise, cutting-edge or to be reconfigurable? The biometrics factor is integrated. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engineer easily. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think micro-virally-distributed. Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Immediately? A company that can engage defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to optimize fiercely. What does the jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! If you productize interactively, you may have to grow holistically. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be resource-constrained? We will transform the capability of initiatives to scale. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to aggregate fiercely. We usually strategize cross-media M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! At achievable ends, we think we know how to syndicate intuitively. The capacity to unleash holistically leads to the power to envisioneer nano-interactively. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think macro-out-of-the-box. We think we know that it is better to transform interactively than to orchestrate virtually. Think six-sigma. Think killer. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough AJAX. We frequently empower cross-media, scalable obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and FOAF. Think intra-viral. We will unleash the capability of users to syndicate. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true!