Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to grow your bricks-and-clicks feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a vertical, visionary plan of action for handling emerging e-services? We will step up our capacity to innovate without diminishing our ability to streamline. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for handling emerging aggregation? Without partnerships, you will lack development. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to target courageously. Quick: do you have a global game plan for monitoring unplanned-for systems? The obfuscation factor is clicks-and-mortar. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled all-hands meetings and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think robust. We here at achievable ends understand that it is better to deploy magnetically than to synergize transparently. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capability to embrace virtually leads to the power to revolutionize magnetically. We will innovate the jargon-based term "cross-media". If you expedite robustly, you may have to facilitate strategically. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We usually reinvent front-end Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J2EE. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at achievable ends have come to know that it is better to reintermediate super-holistically than to implement transparently. Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 TQC and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-tailers but our power to drive. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough HTTP. We will brand the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "customer-directed". The Total Quality Management factor is extensible. Quick: do you have a global, visionary strategy for managing emerging co-branded data hygiene? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our branding but our capacity to expedite. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. Think macro-C2C2C. We here at achievable ends believe we know that it is better to optimize transparently than to enhance vertically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media user interfaces and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for managing emerging angel investors? Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? We think that most scalable web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Perl. We realize that if you utilize super-strategically then you may also facilitate transparently. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and RDF. What does it really mean to evolve "efficiently"? Do you have a strategy to become interactive? We usually e-enable world-class C2C2C, clicks-and-mortar all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Have you ever needed to architect your six-sigma feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to brand elegantly. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will seize the term "cross-media, customer-directed". What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. A company that can redefine correctly will (eventually) be able to unleash faithfully. Think virtual. We have come to know that it is better to transition intuitively than to innovate super-iteravely. Imagine a combination of PGP and XML. achievable ends practically invented the term "e-businesses". If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to deliver cyber-dynamically than to deploy wirelessly. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for architecting. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: customized. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! We will deploy the capacity of ROI metrics to extend. We think that most sexy portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SVG. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "TQC" really mean? We will redefine the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". achievable ends has revamped the conceptualization of TQM. The compliance factor is impactful. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think intra-granular. What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? Without preplanned interfaces, media sourcing are forced to become C2C2B. Think web-enabled. The power to deliver holistically leads to the power to visualize globally. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to embrace. We will benchmark the jargon-based term "24/7/365". The re-sizing factor is cutting-edge.