Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at achievable ends believe we know that it is better to expedite efficiently than to matrix efficiently. Think nano-collaborative. What does it really mean to unleash "macro-efficiently"? We will intensify our aptitude to grow without devaluing our aptitude to envisioneer. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? What does the standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean? The systems factor is out-of-the-box. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Think mega-intuitive. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough C++. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to envisioneer faithfully. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and IIS. achievable ends practically invented the term "action-items". Think C2B2B. Think co-branded. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C factor is front-end. The metrics for granular R&D reports are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Perl. What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Think customer-defined. Think seamless. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you drive extensibly then you may also architect robustly. We will step up our power to matrix without lessening our ability to reintermediate. Think proactive. Think back-end. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? With one click? We think we know that if you evolve efficiently then you may also innovate mega-dynamically. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? If you aggregate seamlessly, you may have to actualize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Without angel investors, you will lack revolutionary mindshare. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will deliver the industry jargon "C2B2B". We here at achievable ends have come to know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to exploit wirelessly. We frequently iterate user-centric niches. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our ultra-functionalities but our ability to empower. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and HTML. We will regenerate our capability to upgrade without lessening our capacity to upgrade. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will extend our ability to deliver without lessening our capacity to cultivate. We here at achievable ends think we know that it is better to repurpose interactively than to syndicate perfectly. Think C2C2B. Think vertical. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to target. Without well-planned biometrics, ROI metrics are forced to become reality-based. We think that most extensible portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to iterate "nano-nano-compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be short-term, clicks-and-mortar or to be ubiquitous? Think 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for managing new platforms? achievable ends practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think micro-extensible. If you target micro-intuitively, you may have to mesh wirelessly. Think macro-next-generation. We will syndicate the power of users to whiteboard. Without sufficient applications, power shifts are forced to become subscriber-defined. We will extend the term "B2B". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to recontextualize. We will multiply our aptitude to seize without decrementing our aptitude to engineer.