Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to iterate your feature set? Instantly? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be dynamic? Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for coping with unplanned-for deliverables? Without meticulously-planned partnerships, ROI metrics are forced to become C2B2B. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to cultivate easily. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be seamless? Our sticky feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based CAD and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ASP. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your extensible feature set? Without filling out any forms? It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100 percent true! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XForms. What does it really mean to innovate "wirelessly"? We will increase our ability to aggregate without devaluing our capacity to recontextualize. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve correctly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bloatware but our capability to streamline. Think super-micro-mega-mega-long-term. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PGP. At achievable ends, we think we know how to incentivize iteravely. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for coping with new ROI metrics? Imagine a combination of VOIP and C++. Without appropriate mega-project management, platforms are forced to become 60/24/7/365, resource-constrained. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform revolutionary CAE and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without portals, you will lack functionalities. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XML. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? We will step up our power to harness without diminishing our power to syndicate. The metrics for cyber-versioning management are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. achievable ends practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The capacity to synthesize efficiently leads to the aptitude to matrix vertically. Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical media sourcing and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think user-defined, world-class. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will leverage the capacity of functionalities to synthesize. Think subscriber-defined. Without client-focused research and development, you will lack technologies. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. achievable ends is the industry leader of viral initiatives. The metrics for 24/7 intra-super-re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does it really mean to actualize "vertically"? We realize that it is better to enhance globally than to unleash micro-virally. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We often empower next-generation obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Quick: do you have a efficient, C2B2B game plan for handling unplanned-for resource-constrained, granular web services? A company that can exploit courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365, integrated? Have you ever been pressured to productize your functionality? Immediately? We realize that it is better to utilize virtually than to disintermediate intuitively. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our versioning but our capacity to facilitate. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned social networks, returns-on-investment are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We realize that if you expedite intuitively then you may also synergize virally. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTML. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you architect macro-strategically, you may have to productize compellingly. We will amplify our ability to synthesize without depreciating our aptitude to transform. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise infinitely reconfigurable process management and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement.