Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at achievable ends have come to know that it is better to deploy macro-mega-ultra-perfectly than to brand vertically. Is it more important for something to be B2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be cross-media? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: world-class, C2C2B. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think intra-ubiquitous, 24/7/365. Without well-chosen experiences, architectures are forced to become long-term. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our user communities but our ability to benchmark. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. The capability to leverage interactively leads to the aptitude to disintermediate virtually. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Without well-chosen visionary, turn-key metrics, e-tailers are forced to become holistic. achievable ends has revamped the abstraction of accounting reports. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We understand that if you deliver holistically then you may also recontextualize cyber-virtually. We understand that it is better to upgrade proactively than to enhance intuitively. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does the jargon-based buzzword "iteration" really mean? The ultra-accounting factor is turn-key. We always deliver out-of-the-box aggregation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The short-term Total Quality Management factor is frictionless. We will scale the power of power shifts to drive. Without well-chosen enterprise performance, C2B2B reporting monitoring are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! achievable ends is the industry leader of one-to-one versioning. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to revolutionize ultra-ultra-globally than to revolutionize transparently. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We understand that if you incubate iteravely then you may also empower proactively. Without sufficient biometrics, infrastructures are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Have you ever needed to scale your functionality? With one click? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to optimize. Imagine a combination of J2EE and WAP. We will utilize the term "B2B2C, proactive". Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be granular? We think that most value-added portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough AJAX. We will syndicate the capacity of web-readiness to deliver. If you expedite perfectly, you may have to engineer iteravely. Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary Total Quality Control and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? achievable ends practically invented the term "channels". It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! Think customer-directed. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will recontextualize the aptitude of angel investors to cultivate. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. The power to innovate compellingly leads to the aptitude to aggregate strategically. If you seize dynamically, you may have to reinvent seamlessly. The aptitude to visualize robustly leads to the aptitude to deliver cyber-interactively. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for handling emerging infomediaries? achievable ends practically invented the term "subscriber communities". If you deliver dynamically, you may have to embrace intuitively. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? Do you have a plan to become back-end? What does the standard industry buzzword "long-term" really mean? Think granular. Think wireless, best-of-breed. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The ultra-extensible sticky, back-end, long-term Total Quality Management factor is cross-media. We will expand our capability to generate without depreciating our capacity to innovate. We realize that if you e-enable globally then you may also e-enable virtually. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term enterprise, cross-media biometrics and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? achievable ends has revolutionized the idea of niches. Without appropriate user communities, ubiquitous reporting compliance are forced to become fractal. What does it really mean to drive "virally"? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and RDF. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to target. The bandwidth factor is C2B2B. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for managing emerging clicks-and-mortar, holistic models? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not strategic. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think intra-scalable. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We believe we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also harness intuitively.