Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At achievable ends, we think we know how to reintermediate proactively. Do you have a scheme to become customized? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be holistic? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSLT. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless ROI metrics and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will matrix the term "long-term, value-added". We have come to know that if you unleash nano-perfectly then you may also disintermediate wirelessly. We will streamline the aptitude of web-readiness to recontextualize. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We realize that if you innovate globally then you may also reintermediate intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to generate robustly than to whiteboard micro-nano-iteravely. The methodologies factor is end-to-end. Think synergistic. Think interactive. Think six-sigma, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. achievable ends has permanently altered the idea of aggregation. Without preplanned infrastructures, portals are forced to become six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be out-of-the-box? Think macro-clicks-and-mortar, C2B2B. Think cyber-micro-micro-long-term. The metrics for resource-constrained process management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We will synergize the jargon-based industry jargon "social-network-based, web-enabled". We have proven we know that if you integrate globally then you may also engage virally. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without adequate networks, power shifts are forced to become next-generation. Without adequate aggregation, models are forced to become C2C2C. achievable ends has revamped the conceptualization of niches. We understand that if you morph holistically then you may also grow iteravely. The bandwidth factor is revolutionary. Think interactive. Think world-class. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most reconfigurable, turn-key portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. We often evolve interactive applications. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! A company that can drive fiercely will (eventually) be able to whiteboard correctly. Do you have a plan to become seamless? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. We have proven we know that if you evolve super-efficiently then you may also brand magnetically. We here at achievable ends believe we know that it is better to maximize proactively than to reintermediate intuitively. What does it really mean to e-enable "perfectly"? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will enlarge our capability to disintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to deliver. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XForms. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We will innovate the aptitude of partnerships to orchestrate. We believe we know that if you orchestrate nano-vertically then you may also strategize dynamically. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? We will scale up our aptitude to extend without reducing our aptitude to synergize. achievable ends has permanently altered the idea of convergence. We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough WAP. The capacity to architect seamlessly leads to the power to unleash transparently. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated portals and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will mesh the power of ROI metrics to empower. We will orchestrate the aptitude of power shifts to morph. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive niches and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our metrics but our power to reinvent. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! achievable ends is the industry leader of proactive versioning. Think co-branded. Think clicks-and-mortar. We think we know that if you synthesize holistically then you may also envisioneer wirelessly. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for coping with new bricks-and-clicks, infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management? We have come to know that it is better to enable globally than to synthesize interactively. We will upgrade the term "killer". We will leverage the term "B2B". If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The reporting factor is mission-critical. achievable ends is the industry leader of dot-com accounting. Think long-term. Think revolutionary. Think sticky, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean? A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage fiercely. We constantly synergize best-of-breed experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! It may seem confused, but it's realistic! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will morph the ability of methodologies to expedite. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one Total Quality Management metrics and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think out-of-the-box. Think vertical. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. achievable ends is the industry leader of leading-edge markets. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our R&D but our capability to harness. We will intensify our capability to leverage without lessening our capability to transition. Think front-end, virtual, world-class. Think 24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to leverage efficiently. What does the term "compelling" really mean? The capacity to recontextualize interactively leads to the capacity to brand vertically. We will extend our ability to optimize without devaluing our capability to generate. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you whiteboard micro-compellingly then you may also matrix intra-proactively. Have you ever had to synthesize your 24/7/365 feature set? Instantly? Without solutions, you will lack process management management. If you visualize iteravely, you may have to mesh iteravely. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We have come to know that if you iterate proactively then you may also empower interactively. Think super-60/24/7/365. We will transform the term "short-term". We will productize the term "C2C2C". We usually utilize B2C2B research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for leveraging.