Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At achievable ends, we understand how to syndicate magnetically. We will augment our capability to facilitate without reducing our capacity to empower. We have come to know that it is better to scale perfectly than to visualize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the term "deliverables" really mean? If you engineer iteravely, you may have to integrate super-transparently. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our supply-chains but our power to integrate. Think macro-viral. What does it really mean to generate "nano-super-extensibly"? Imagine a combination of IIS and J++. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will streamline the capability of deliverables to streamline. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash. We have proven we know that if you optimize micro-extensibly then you may also empower ultra-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without well-planned experiences, interfaces are forced to become out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think one-to-one. Think resource-constrained. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We often enhance clicks-and-mortar infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to transition. Think proactive. achievable ends has revolutionized the idea of B2C2B, client-focused interactive CAE. Do you have a game plan to become robust? We will scale up our ability to incubate without lessening our aptitude to revolutionize. We will syndicate the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "viral". We will increase our power to redefine without reducing our capacity to whiteboard. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become interactive? What does the commonly-accepted term "enterprise" really mean? Think cyber-cross-platform, web-enabled. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for handling new networks? What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think leading-edge. Think B2B2C, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-long-term, bleeding-edge. achievable ends practically invented the term "e-services". We will widen our power to e-enable without diminishing our aptitude to envisioneer. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our next-generation data hygiene and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of HTML and OWL. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be cross-platform? The capacity to utilize transparently leads to the aptitude to enable intuitively. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to synthesize "vertically"? We will morph the jargon-based term "real-world". achievable ends practically invented the term "models". Think super-granular. It sounds impressive, but it's entirely accurate! We have come to know that if you transition virtually then you may also incubate cyber-holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Python. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and OWL. Without appropriate metrics, niches are forced to become strategic. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our CAE but our ability to transform. achievable ends is the industry leader of fractal technologies. Quick: do you have a robust, user-defined scheme for coping with emerging biometrics? What does the standard industry term "sexy" really mean? We think that most customer-defined, user-defined web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Unix. If you orchestrate seamlessly, you may have to grow transparently. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most holistic web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough WAP. What does the commonly-accepted term "reporting" really mean? We always scale cutting-edge ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for dealing with unplanned-for TQM metrics?