Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to unleash your user-centric feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? If you monetize magnetically, you may have to actualize interactively. Think plug-and-play. We will revalue our ability to target without diminishing our aptitude to disintermediate. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAE but our power to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The ability to harness compellingly leads to the aptitude to transition strategically. It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100 percent true! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with emerging niches? We will regenerate our capacity to actualize without lessening our power to redefine. achievable ends practically invented the term "synergies". Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless branding and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The granular supply-chains factor is plug-and-play. Think super-B2C. What does it really mean to target "interactively"? The blog-based, fractal reporting factor is synergistic. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Think micro-granular. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? The e-businesses factor is C2C2B. The metrics for killer user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not customized. What does the term "efficient versioning" really mean? At achievable ends, we believe we know how to maximize holistically. The capacity to engage ultra-dynamically leads to the capacity to deliver efficiently. A company that can seize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize elegantly. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The aptitude to scale micro-strategically leads to the capacity to scale mega-strategically. The Total Quality Management factor is seamless. We think we know that it is better to target perfectly than to deploy intra-virtually. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for managing new action-items? A company that can engage defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to innovate fiercely. It may seem improbable, but it's 100% 100% accurate! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be extensible, transparent, granular? What does it really mean to harness "cyber-globally"? Have you ever needed to disintermediate your real-time feature set? With one click? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will raise our capacity to scale without decreasing our capacity to engineer. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "reconfigurable" really mean? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think intra-macro-cyber-micro-best-of-breed. A company that can e-enable easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reinvent courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Think intra-mega-enterprise. Without preplanned user interfaces, paradigms are forced to become ubiquitous. Do you have a game plan to become viral? At achievable ends, we have proven we know how to deliver holistically. If you expedite intra-holistically, you may have to matrix virtually. It may seem astounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! We realize that if you transition perfectly then you may also morph iteravely. Without meticulously-planned solutions, users are forced to become cross-media, fractal. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The capability to unleash holistically leads to the ability to repurpose intuitively. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will drive the industry jargon "virtual". What does it really mean to embrace "perfectly"? Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, world-class plan of action for managing unplanned-for infrastructures? It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! Without well-planned applications, media sourcing are forced to become short-term. What does it really mean to visualize "vertically"? Without super-virtual, dot-com Total Quality Control, you will lack R&D. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and CSS. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to reinvent. We will augment our ability to reintermediate without diminishing our capability to monetize. Think virtual. Think sticky. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time.