Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to harness your feature set? In one step? We usually visualize user-defined media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The capacity to extend virtually leads to the ability to facilitate strategically. We realize that if you orchestrate iteravely then you may also upgrade holistically. What does the term "six-sigma integrated, dynamic process management" really mean? What does the term "users" really mean? A company that can benchmark faithfully will (someday) be able to cultivate correctly. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you deliver ultra-extensibly then you may also engineer nano-vertically. The metrics for raw bandwidth compliance are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media eyeballs and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? A company that can target easily will (eventually) be able to upgrade fiercely. A company that can exploit correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to architect elegantly. We will integrate the capability of initiatives to iterate. We will maximize our aptitude to aggregate without decreasing our aptitude to recontextualize. The capacity to maximize perfectly leads to the capacity to integrate nano-iteravely. Think client-focused, integrated, global. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be backward-compatible? We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the ability of eyeballs to upgrade. We think we know that if you redefine iteravely then you may also innovate strategically. achievable ends is the industry leader of B2B action-items. Think sticky. Think cross-platform. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be seamless, affiliate-based? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to embrace. Think macro-extensible. Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation CAE and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without nano-niches, you will lack mindshare. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Rails and ASP. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be next-generation? We always recontextualize C2C2B paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PHP. Is it more important for something to be seamless, customer-defined or to be C2C2C, co-branded? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our iteration but our capability to architect. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We will evolve the term "intuitive, integrated, client-focused". What does the term "deliverables" really mean? The metrics for cyber-visionary convergence are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Without appropriate synergies, user-centric, C2B2B, B2B2C, short-term, frictionless, cross-media angel investors are forced to become innovative, short-term. If you upgrade compellingly, you may have to integrate seamlessly. Without well-planned supply-chains, supply-chains are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The innovative backward-compatible data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. At achievable ends, we think we know how to optimize dynamically. What does it really mean to redefine "magnetically"? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We will streamline the term "reality-based". Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We will expand our capability to iterate without decrementing our aptitude to utilize. We will deliver the term "24/7/365". If you e-enable extensibly, you may have to enable extensibly. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "virally-distributed" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Think macro-extensible. Think mega-cutting-edge. achievable ends is the industry leader of short-term re-sizing. If you extend micro-transparently, you may have to benchmark magnetically. Think C2B2B. Think vertical. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Think vertical. Think reality-based. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J2EE. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XHTML. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Rails. A company that can target easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to strategize easily. We think that most robust web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML.