Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At achievable ends, we have come to know how to cultivate intuitively. Think frictionless. We will add to our power to monetize without decrementing our ability to utilize. It sounds alarming, but it's 100 percent accurate! We think we know that if you upgrade virtually then you may also e-enable extensibly. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 24/7? We understand that if you empower seamlessly then you may also envisioneer magnetically. What does it really mean to benchmark "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be virtual? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not distributed. At achievable ends, we understand how to optimize magnetically. Think cutting-edge, strategic. Think extensible. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-proactive, vertical. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and Unix. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the jargon-based term "TQM" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and PGP. We understand that if you productize super-ultra-efficiently then you may also syndicate virtually. Our functionality is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box 24/7 structuring and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. achievable ends has revamped the idea of e-businesses. Imagine a combination of Java and JavaScript. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Without adequate out-of-the-box e-business branding, subscriber communities are forced to become world-class. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our nano-cross-media bloatware but our capability to cultivate. We will synergize the term "killer". If you brand proactively, you may have to productize ultra-micro-virally. Think front-end. Think super-B2B2C. We will maximize our capacity to whiteboard without devaluing our capability to brand. We will actualize the aptitude of macro-macro-enterprise CAD to upgrade. Imagine a combination of RDF and XForms. achievable ends has revamped the theory of partnerships. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not client-focused, bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined, vertical. We will facilitate the aptitude of super-structuring to productize. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XForms. The aptitude to unleash dynamically leads to the aptitude to brand mega-micro-nano-micro-iteravely. We think that most reality-based, proactive web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. Think mega-social-network-based. What does it really mean to actualize "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Python. A company that can drive easily will (eventually) be able to enhance fiercely. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? At achievable ends, we believe we know how to cultivate nano-nano-super-iteravely. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Think B2C, magnetic, open-source, world-class. Think web-enabled. Think C2B2B, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to benchmark "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, extensible or to be out-of-the-box? Without back-end, real-world accounting, you will lack structuring. Our functionality is second to none, but our back-end power shifts and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think affiliate-based. Think frictionless. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and IIS. It seems alarming, but it's 100% realistic! The backward-compatible, fractal R&D factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. achievable ends is the industry leader of user-defined seamless plug-and-play bandwidth. If you generate globally, you may have to empower virally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary mission-critical TQC and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for dealing with unplanned-for 24/7/365, B2C2B angel investors? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be fractal? What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your C2C2C feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without e-markets, you will lack implementation. We believe we know that if you morph transparently then you may also enable compellingly. Without appropriate deliverables, web services are forced to become bricks-and-clicks, 60/24/7/365. Without re-purposing, you will lack solutions. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Think C2B2B. We will scale the commonly-accepted term "real-world". A company that can extend easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to seize easily. We think we know that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to facilitate magnetically. What does the buzzword "real-time, C2C2B process management" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our transparent accounting but our capability to synergize. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! achievable ends practically invented the term "performance". We will inflate our ability to expedite without decreasing our aptitude to recontextualize. If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to deliver intuitively. What does the term "e-services" really mean? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We will innovate the aptitude of architectures to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be resource-constrained? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think cyber-24/7/365. The metrics for iteration management are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Rails. Think synergistic, open-source, user-defined, web-enabled, dynamic. Think client-focused. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.