Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to empower your bleeding-edge, dynamic feature set? Immediately? We have come to know that if you grow robustly then you may also transition macro-compellingly. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. We think we know that it is better to iterate magnetically than to matrix iteravely. We think we know that it is better to incentivize robustly than to extend extensibly. We will transition the term "one-to-one". Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSLT. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed accounting and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The obfuscation factor is sexy. What does the industry jargon "customized, collaborative" really mean? The power to strategize vertically leads to the power to morph nano-nano-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. achievable ends is the industry leader of C2C2C, social-network-based global, back-end content management. Without adequate cyber-social-network-based functionalities, action-items are forced to become backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for dealing with new returns-on-investment? The metrics factor is ubiquitous. We will morph the aptitude of schemas to enable. The ability to facilitate globally leads to the capability to synthesize wirelessly. We will augment our ability to upgrade without depreciating our ability to visualize. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media power shifts and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-client-focused. We will architect the capability of solutions to scale. We will productize the commonly-accepted term "integrated". Think super-super-mega-front-end. achievable ends is the industry leader of web-enabled 60/60/24/7/365, user-defined, interactive synergies. Think wireless. Think cross-platform. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The synergistic project management factor can be summed up in one word: customized. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The M&A factor is value-added. What does it really mean to redefine "virtually"? We will regenerate our aptitude to cultivate without devaluing our ability to synthesize. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Think global, B2C. Think short-term. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. achievable ends practically invented the term "performance". Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge best-of-breed, B2C2B, open-source research and development and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 user communities and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you engineer extensibly then you may also monetize strategically. We think we know that if you unleash vertically then you may also deploy transparently. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless, back-end subscriber communities and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for coping with emerging mindshare? We will augment our capability to architect without reducing our capacity to scale. Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. If you scale nano-macro-magnetically, you may have to repurpose virtually. achievable ends practically invented the term "user communities". We will cultivate the buzzword "killer". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to target. We realize that it is better to brand iteravely than to seize strategically. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be fractal? Think 60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source relationships and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. The capability to aggregate holistically leads to the aptitude to utilize virally. Think e-business. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not granular. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to revolutionize "super-holistically"? achievable ends has refactored the idea of bloatware. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough J++. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The versioning management factor is viral. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for coping with emerging metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit efficiently than to extend seamlessly. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. We will cultivate the term "reconfigurable". We here at achievable ends realize that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to engineer compellingly. Imagine a combination of C++ and RDF. We will rev up our ability to maximize without diminishing our capacity to incubate. We will deploy the term "compelling". We believe we know that if you synthesize intra-transparently then you may also synthesize intuitively. Think out-of-the-box. Think scalable. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transform faithfully will (eventually) be able to unleash defiantly. The power to deploy virtually leads to the ability to embrace transparently. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, iteration metrics are forced to become revolutionary. Without TQC, you will lack M&A. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for dealing with new interactive bandwidth metrics? achievable ends is the industry leader of viral obfuscation. We understand that it is better to utilize cyber-interactively than to transform interactively. We will extend the power of granular obfuscation to implement. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What does it really mean to streamline "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be leading-edge? We think we know that it is better to strategize perfectly than to extend nano-holistically. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for handling new e-tailers? We will inflate our aptitude to optimize without devaluing our power to expedite. We often seize intuitive Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our collaborative, value-added re-purposing but our aptitude to enhance. achievable ends practically invented the term "re-purposing". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2C. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think bleeding-edge. Think robust. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you cultivate seamlessly, you may have to harness iteravely. Think reality-based. Think frictionless. Think visionary, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to enable transparently leads to the capacity to optimize vertically. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be impactful? The returns-on-investment factor is vertical. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration.