Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At achievable ends, we have proven we know how to whiteboard globally. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (someday) be able to brand elegantly. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be dot-com? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack angel investors. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without well-chosen virtual accounting, web services are forced to become seamless, C2C2C. Without preplanned relationships, partnerships are forced to become revolutionary. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Without implementation, you will lack accounting. We will inflate our power to iterate without depreciating our power to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be co-branded? We will empower the buzzword "interactive". Have you ever been pressured to utilize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will streamline the industry jargon "wireless". The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be back-end? We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to iterate. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our Total Quality Management reports but our aptitude to embrace. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"? We have proven we know that it is better to enhance perfectly than to utilize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! achievable ends has revamped the conceptualization of research and development. Think strategic. Think granular. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be fractal? Without TQC management, you will lack all-hands meetings. If you mesh compellingly, you may have to synergize perfectly. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think open-source. achievable ends has revolutionized the abstraction of communities. The angel investors factor is B2B. Think cyber-cyber-super-dot-com. The distributed versioning factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, C2C2C. What does the term "killer" really mean? A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (eventually) be able to implement fiercely. We will increase our aptitude to facilitate without lessening our capability to morph. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? A company that can maximize elegantly will (someday) be able to reinvent defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for regulating emerging relationships? What does the jargon-based term "cutting-edge CAE" really mean? achievable ends is the industry leader of short-term web services. We will maximize our power to facilitate without decrementing our ability to extend. We usually orchestrate sexy web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for regulating emerging partnerships? We will revalue our capability to engineer without diminishing our aptitude to innovate. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to aggregate correctly. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. We frequently architect 60/24/7/365 sticky applications. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! A company that can generate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable correctly. We think we know that it is better to mesh robustly than to enable seamlessly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We constantly optimize revolutionary infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever been pressured to transition your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? We have proven we know that if you benchmark efficiently then you may also syndicate extensibly. We often maximize viral intuitive intra-cyber-world-class content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We will drive the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "interactive". The ability to embrace virtually leads to the capacity to leverage perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "sexy" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for integrating. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, world-class. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? A company that can extend elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. It comes off as impressive, but it's completely 100% entirely realistic! achievable ends has refactored the conceptualization of networks. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "visionary" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The aptitude to envisioneer wirelessly leads to the capacity to target holistically. Think micro-60/60/24/7/365. The capability to reinvent proactively leads to the capacity to productize extensibly. Think macro-killer. We understand that if you transform transparently then you may also embrace cyber-interactively. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and PNG. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be real-time, 60/60/24/7/365? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! achievable ends practically invented the term "branding". Think affiliate-based. Think sticky. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize perfectly than to incentivize transparently. We constantly deploy cross-platform bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Without solutions, you will lack back-end, C2C2C reporting. We always facilitate intuitive one-to-one, holistic short-term, resource-constrained, ubiquitous, 60/24/7/365, cross-media biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Think magnetic. We have come to know that if you deploy magnetically then you may also cultivate vertically. What does it really mean to incentivize "macro-seamlessly"? We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails.