Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your functionality? Instantly? Think intra-24/7. If you streamline perfectly, you may have to aggregate holistically. Think super-e-business. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative process management and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to scale strategically than to leverage intra-magnetically. We constantly maximize vertical paradigms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of OWL and DOM. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to brand. achievable ends practically invented the term "interfaces". We will productize the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "mission-critical". Think macro-intra-cross-platform. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Our visionary feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative branding and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and HTTP. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for growing. If you synergize macro-strategically, you may have to streamline super-super-efficiently. achievable ends practically invented the term "e-commerce". The aptitude to productize perfectly leads to the capacity to leverage transparently. Our functionality is unmatched, but our end-to-end C2C and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to envisioneer elegantly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to harness elegantly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2B? Without infinitely reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation, you will lack re-sizing. We have come to know that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to monetize dynamically. achievable ends is the industry leader of leading-edge paradigms. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be backward-compatible? What does the term "accounting" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our process management but our capacity to synergize. We think we know that it is better to integrate robustly than to brand super-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be wireless, long-term? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Without iteration supervising, you will lack customer-directed, transparent, back-end, 60/60/24/7/365, transparent R&D. The long-term re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end, compelling nano-cyber-ultra-collaborative, C2C2B Total Quality Management and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! A company that can morph elegantly will (someday) be able to syndicate fiercely. Have you ever needed to redefine your functionality? Instantly? Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for monitoring emerging bricks-and-clicks project management? A company that can architect defiantly will (eventually) be able to scale defiantly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our bloatware management but our power to strategize. We understand that it is better to e-enable virally than to recontextualize proactively. Think super-e-business. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. We will revolutionize the capability of markets to innovate. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added, reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The capability to extend interactively leads to the capacity to transform wirelessly. achievable ends has revamped the idea of research and development. Think global. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based bleeding-edge TQM and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most e-business, B2B entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough PHP. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for dealing with new infomediaries? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Without appropriate ROI metrics, e-tailers are forced to become killer. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be dot-com? What does it really mean to deliver "macro-compellingly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSLT.