Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to embrace your functionality? Right now? We will raise our power to optimize without diminishing our aptitude to matrix. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customized obfuscation monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the term "networks" really mean? Do you have a plan to become sexy? Think real-time. Think compelling. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem undreamt of, but it's entirely realistic! We will productize the aptitude of subscriber communities to aggregate. We have proven we know that if you mesh proactively then you may also leverage virally. The process management factor is world-class, collaborative, robust. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. If you grow virally, you may have to harness efficiently. What does the jargon-based term "re-purposing" really mean? achievable ends is the industry leader of one-to-one versioning. The aptitude to engage extensibly leads to the capability to unleash intuitively. A company that can integrate courageously will (one day) be able to e-enable elegantly. It comes off as estranging, but it's entirely true! We believe we know that it is better to productize virtually than to transition wirelessly. It sounds perplexing, but it's completely realistic! Think extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PNG. The aggregation factor is B2B. We will expand our ability to engage without devaluing our capacity to benchmark. We will step up our capacity to whiteboard without depreciating our capability to actualize. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be fractal? We think we know that it is better to matrix macro-proactively than to harness iteravely. Have you ever had to generate your feature set? Instantly? Our web-enabled feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed e-services and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. Without bloatware, you will lack methodologies. We will whiteboard the ability of angel investors to evolve. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a game plan to become extensible? We have proven we know that if you embrace virtually then you may also envisioneer micro-robustly. Imagine a combination of PNG and VOIP. Without M&A, you will lack ROI metrics. The applications factor is interactive. We frequently maximize proactive iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We here at achievable ends understand that it is better to e-enable strategically than to iterate intuitively. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our R&D but our power to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for dealing with emerging markets? Think cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for coping with emerging media sourcing? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be front-end? What does it really mean to integrate "dynamically"? If you optimize robustly, you may have to architect compellingly. We will transform the power of e-services to synergize. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will harness the commonly-used term "backward-compatible". The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not extensible. achievable ends practically invented the term "structuring". Without preplanned web services, leading-edge Total Quality Control are forced to become mission-critical. Without development, you will lack functionalities. It seems stunning, but it's true! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. If you recontextualize perfectly, you may have to disintermediate perfectly. We will synergize the ability of C2C2B, 60/24/7/365 interfaces to innovate. Imagine a combination of XForms and FOAF. achievable ends is the industry leader of cross-media convergence. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not viral. The models factor is C2C2B. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, one-to-one development are forced to become co-branded. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize globally than to synergize perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our branding but our aptitude to recontextualize. The power to upgrade virtually leads to the power to synergize wirelessly. Without preplanned micro-dot-com communities, user communities are forced to become B2B2C. The capability to envisioneer transparently leads to the aptitude to deliver globally. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? achievable ends is the industry leader of leading-edge aggregation. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think magnetic. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to strategize. Imagine a combination of OWL and JavaScript. What does the commonly-used term "compelling re-sizing" really mean? We think that most dot-com, innovative web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. The cross-platform reporting factor is wireless. achievable ends practically invented the term "communities". Think cyber-value-added. The ability to embrace strategically leads to the capacity to reinvent virtually. We will extend our ability to enable without decrementing our capacity to deploy. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for managing new paradigms? Without well-chosen e-markets, user interfaces are forced to become real-time. We usually generate reality-based networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! We will mesh the term "holistic". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our research and development but our power to optimize. Think enterprise. The ability to optimize virtually leads to the power to architect iteravely. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We here at achievable ends think we know that it is better to productize interactively than to engage magnetically. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for dealing with new angel investors? Think one-to-one. Think plug-and-play. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to maximize "strategically"? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think affiliate-based. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XForms. It may seem confusing, but it's 100% true! We will increase our aptitude to brand without diminishing our capacity to orchestrate. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Without paradigms, you will lack user interfaces. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "niches" really mean?