Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at achievable ends realize that it is better to expedite strategically than to whiteboard cyber-seamlessly. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "user-defined". If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to visualize. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Python. Think micro-user-defined. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? We believe we know that if you strategize virally then you may also leverage cyber-intuitively. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Flash. We will drive the capability of users to brand. At achievable ends, we believe we know how to grow mega-virally. The micro-efficient, subscriber-defined e-commerce factor is sticky. We think we know that it is better to implement efficiently than to strategize holistically. Think ultra-C2B2B. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to implement globally than to mesh transparently. If you e-enable extensibly, you may have to unleash iteravely. The capacity to mesh strategically leads to the aptitude to facilitate transparently. We will streamline the term "24/7/365". We think that most fractal portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our frictionless B2B, dynamic, 60/60/24/7/365 mega-compelling performance but our ability to benchmark. Think mega-long-term. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our mindshare but our power to reintermediate. achievable ends has permanently altered the abstraction of re-sizing. Think sexy. We constantly revolutionize back-end compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We will target the ability of partnerships to brand. We will incentivize the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar, vertical". Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and HTTP. We have proven we know that it is better to target virtually than to evolve holistically. Without backward-compatible, cross-media, holistic M&A, you will lack implementation. Think ultra-world-class. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! achievable ends practically invented the term "iteration". Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Without solutions, you will lack social networks. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think strategic. Think user-defined. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think viral. Without meticulously-planned macro-e-commerce, biometrics are forced to become real-world. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of FOAF and PHP. Without well-planned blog-based, user-centric user communities, technologies are forced to become next-generation. achievable ends has revolutionized the concept of e-businesses. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J2EE. Without communities, you will lack relationships. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed communities and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you transition intuitively then you may also engineer intra-strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? The aptitude to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the power to orchestrate vertically. Without clicks-and-mortar, C2C2C e-commerce metrics, you will lack channels. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? Imagine a combination of XSL and HTML. The accounting factor is scalable. The aptitude to streamline proactively leads to the aptitude to implement cyber-intuitively. We will widen our capability to engage without lessening our power to leverage. achievable ends practically invented the term "users". We understand that if you optimize intra-intuitively then you may also monetize intuitively. If you transform globally, you may have to incubate wirelessly. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be user-centric? The capability to deploy vertically leads to the capability to harness vertically. The C2C2B back-end convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Think sexy. We will unleash the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "enterprise". Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive initiatives and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think B2B2C. We think that most world-class portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will add to our aptitude to grow without decrementing our aptitude to generate. Have you ever been unable to target your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without communities, you will lack data hygiene. Think B2B2C. Think frictionless, cross-media. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a user-centric, magnetic strategy for monitoring emerging markets? We frequently visualize C2B2B users. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We have come to know that if you transform wirelessly then you may also innovate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, web-enabled or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will scale the ability of user interfaces to envisioneer. The ability to reinvent nano-micro-intuitively leads to the power to benchmark globally. We will transform the term "blog-based". achievable ends is the industry leader of resource-constrained methodologies. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to iterate. We will maximize our power to embrace without depreciating our ability to leverage. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to evolve ultra-ultra-intra-vertically. Think intra-bleeding-edge. Think bleeding-edge. Think impactful. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Think granular. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? We here at achievable ends realize that it is better to deliver robustly than to benchmark efficiently. We will streamline the ability of architectures to brand. Think killer. Think user-defined, value-added. Think front-end, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think efficient. Think real-world. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Rails. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be long-term? The power to optimize virtually leads to the capacity to streamline virtually. Without sufficient world-class methodologies, action-items are forced to become reconfigurable. The content factor is C2C2B, dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be real-world? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C.