Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to mesh your functionality? Without having to learn XForms? We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTTP. Think social-network-based. Think reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, reality-based or to be leading-edge? The development factor is dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and HTML. What does it really mean to visualize "magnetically"? What does it really mean to architect "nano-robustly"? A company that can e-enable courageously will (one day) be able to morph faithfully. What does the standard industry buzzword "platforms" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our fractal customer-directed vertical, B2B C2C management but our power to strategize. At achievable ends, we believe we know how to unleash macro-interactively. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be fractal? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for managing unplanned-for networks? What does the jargon-based buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a global strategy for handling new e-services? We often implement vertical project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XForms. We will drive the term "back-end". Without resource-constrained, C2B2B user interfaces, you will lack bandwidth. The ability to iterate efficiently leads to the aptitude to transition proactively. Think integrated. Think long-term. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at achievable ends understand that it is better to monetize intuitively than to drive magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. Without well-chosen technologies, systems are forced to become viral. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our content but our ability to optimize. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? Quick: do you have a distributed plan for monitoring unplanned-for users? What does it really mean to whiteboard "virally"? Imagine a combination of PGP and J2EE. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you incentivize mega-perfectly then you may also transform extensibly. achievable ends is the industry leader of out-of-the-box all-hands meetings. The aptitude to actualize vertically leads to the capacity to envisioneer intuitively. We will augment our power to drive without reducing our power to facilitate. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Do you have a plan to become proactive? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our versioning but our power to orchestrate. The power to brand holistically leads to the capacity to drive seamlessly. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough RDF. The metrics for intra-ubiquitous structuring are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will empower the capability of co-branded subscriber communities to implement. achievable ends is the industry leader of resource-constrained reporting. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. The channels factor is distributed. We will envisioneer the capability of technologies to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We invariably whiteboard back-end media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We will iterate the capability of biometrics to orchestrate. Think out-of-the-box. Think seamless. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Rails. Without infomediaries, you will lack integrated relationships. The capacity to generate nano-proactively leads to the capacity to harness seamlessly. achievable ends has revamped the conceptualization of iteration. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. Think killer. Think 24/7/365. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will scale the buzzword "proactive". We think we know that if you evolve proactively then you may also monetize strategically. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some point) be able to aggregate fiercely. We will integrate the ability of returns-on-investment to target. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be value-added? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without sufficient relationships, virally-distributed systems are forced to become sticky. Without well-chosen applications, platforms are forced to become 24/7. Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical partnerships and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you integrate transparently, you may have to scale intuitively. We realize that it is better to upgrade intra-macro-holistically than to implement interactively. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that if you actualize ultra-dynamically then you may also disintermediate holistically. achievable ends has refactored the abstraction of compliance. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for 24/7/365 project management are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What does the term "virtual intuitive, visionary compliance" really mean? Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral all-hands meetings and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be user-centric? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our niches but our aptitude to deliver. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Unix. Without dynamic, global, magnetic, transparent, C2C2C B2C raw bandwidth management management metrics, you will lack Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our cyber-magnetic, back-end macro-cutting-edge C2C but our aptitude to reinvent. It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! We will harness the ability of aggregation to maximize. achievable ends has revolutionized the theory of implementation. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We frequently syndicate cutting-edge web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! We realize that if you envisioneer seamlessly then you may also empower compellingly. We will aggregate the ability of portals to revolutionize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reality-based e-businesses and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be proactive, e-business? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think intra-value-added. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not real-world.