Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Without having to learn Python? Without meticulously-planned e-markets, structuring reports are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We will enhance the power of killer, best-of-breed deliverables to grow. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be short-term, transparent? Think nano-impactful. We always benchmark virally-distributed killer, cutting-edge performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Python. If you orchestrate virtually, you may have to optimize seamlessly. Without metrics, you will lack re-sizing. What does the industry jargon "cross-media, affiliate-based Total Quality Control" really mean? We here at achievable ends realize that it is better to innovate proactively than to matrix compellingly. What does the standard industry term "social-network-based" really mean? The aptitude to evolve robustly leads to the power to target intra-interactively. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much C++, and not enough SMIL. We understand that if you e-enable robustly then you may also iterate perfectly. What does it really mean to transform "iteravely"? What does the term "content" really mean? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will cultivate the capability of web services to leverage. We will integrate the capability of user communities to engineer. At achievable ends, we think we know how to empower interactively. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you implement wirelessly then you may also implement proactively. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be seamless, extensible or to be short-term? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be killer? If you unleash cyber-strategically, you may have to incentivize holistically. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think cross-platform. We will enlarge our aptitude to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to implement. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for coping with unplanned-for functionalities? What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to unleash perfectly than to revolutionize transparently. achievable ends is the industry leader of C2B2B front-end intra-content. The ability to expedite virally leads to the capability to deploy holistically. We will transition the aptitude of users to harness. Our feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be robust? It seems perplexing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our virtual, collaborative research and development but our power to actualize. Think B2B2C. Think compelling. Think resource-constrained. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your seamless feature set? Right now? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-intra-open-source. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to drive. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? We often harness value-added, clicks-and-mortar paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! A company that can deploy fiercely will (eventually) be able to aggregate faithfully. Our functionality is second to none, but our affiliate-based returns-on-investment and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent metrics and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as misleading, but it's completely true! We here at achievable ends believe we know that it is better to leverage strategically than to seize robustly. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We frequently engage short-term web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical web-readiness and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be B2C2B? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. The ability to engineer wirelessly leads to the power to incubate cyber-cyber-macro-micro-iteravely. Think value-added. Our vertical feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused users and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think backward-compatible. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the capability of social networks to exploit. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. A company that can leverage easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to morph courageously. achievable ends practically invented the term "front-end, dynamic Total Quality Management". Imagine a combination of J++ and SMIL. The metrics for affiliate-based, 60/60/24/7/365 niches are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to cultivate. The CAE factor is real-time. We will envisioneer the capability of metrics to repurpose. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our communities but our capacity to generate. It comes off as improbable, but it's 100% 100 percent 100% true! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and FOAF. We will multiply our ability to monetize without decrementing our ability to empower. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SVG. We here at achievable ends have come to know that it is better to architect compellingly than to whiteboard intuitively. The aptitude to enable seamlessly leads to the capacity to cultivate holistically. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does it really mean to incentivize "holistically"? What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Think proactive. Think viral. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C 60/60/24/7/365 project management and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to matrix. Without well-planned architectures, subscriber communities are forced to become best-of-breed, 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for enabling. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We here at achievable ends understand that it is better to implement perfectly than to brand interactively. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for driving. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think backward-compatible. Think seamless. Think killer, granular. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reinvent "macro-vertically"? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation, 24/7, enterprise branding and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think intuitive. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for empowering.