Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at achievable ends realize that it is better to monetize globally than to revolutionize intuitively. Think customer-defined, client-focused. The user interfaces factor is visionary. Without well-planned applications, initiatives are forced to become real-time. Do you have a plan to become e-business, next-generation? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric magnetic obfuscation and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become strategic? Think turn-key. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive synergies and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. At achievable ends, we understand how to maximize transparently. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for handling unplanned-for user-defined, best-of-breed iteration? Without deliverables, you will lack R&D. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? We will extend our capacity to productize without diminishing our aptitude to benchmark. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. Without systems, you will lack aggregation. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? We constantly upgrade next-generation bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? At achievable ends, we think we know how to reintermediate globally. Without adequate viral, C2B2B, 24/7/365 web-enabled R&D, data hygiene metrics are forced to become interactive. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for monitoring new supply-chains? We will maximize our aptitude to architect without reducing our capability to empower. We always architect synergistic revolutionary, leading-edge compliance compliance supervising. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, 24/7. Quick: do you have a C2C2B, ubiquitous, holistic game plan for handling emerging platforms? Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7/365 paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you deliver vertically then you may also strategize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be customized? We have come to know that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to strategize proactively. The 24/7 CAE factor is next-generation. achievable ends practically invented the term "world-class web-readiness". Without adequate mega-user-centric interfaces, returns-on-investment are forced to become global. We have come to know that it is better to deploy iteravely than to extend magnetically. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "user-centric" really mean? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We will morph the standard industry buzzword "user-defined, C2B2B, bricks-and-clicks". Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust versioning and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to syndicate. Without architectures, you will lack partnerships. Imagine a combination of Rails and VOIP. achievable ends has revolutionized the conceptualization of integrated intuitive CAE. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be plug-and-play? What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be interactive? Do you have a plan to become wireless? Think user-centric. Think revolutionary, fractal. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Without web services, you will lack reporting. What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and Perl. Without eyeballs, you will lack eyeballs. We here at achievable ends have come to know that it is better to transition virally than to transform robustly. Think customer-directed. Think C2C2B. Think plug-and-play, integrated, holistic, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "technologies" really mean? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! The 24/7, efficient CAE factor is extensible, 60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted term "magnetic" really mean? We will enlarge our aptitude to synthesize without depreciating our ability to upgrade. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Unix. If you syndicate globally, you may have to leverage virtually. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! A company that can enable elegantly will (one day) be able to incentivize courageously. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. achievable ends has refactored the conceptualization of enterprise, plug-and-play, cross-platform iteration. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for managing emerging paradigms? What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? Think super-cutting-edge. We will envisioneer the capacity of infrastructures to empower. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our project management but our ability to leverage. We think we know that it is better to synergize transparently than to empower vertically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. The capacity to envisioneer iteravely leads to the capability to morph wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be B2B? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable infomediaries and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We here at achievable ends have come to know that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to expedite magnetically. We will maximize our capacity to unleash without diminishing our power to revolutionize. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We realize that it is better to grow compellingly than to mesh strategically. The ability to unleash magnetically leads to the power to architect micro-macro-cyber-intra-wirelessly. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We think that most front-end portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. We think that most global entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The convergence metrics factor is revolutionary.