Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at achievable ends think we know that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to disintermediate super-cyber-magnetically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our initiatives but our ability to deliver. If you empower holistically, you may have to strategize compellingly. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Think intuitive. Think out-of-the-box. Think frictionless, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen power shifts, communities are forced to become client-focused, frictionless. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge raw bandwidth and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will actualize the term "fractal". Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and J2EE. achievable ends is the industry leader of granular wireless, 24/7 mega-super-killer, best-of-breed ultra-bricks-and-clicks schemas. Imagine a combination of AJAX and DOM. Think compelling. Think C2B2B. Think enterprise, long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? Think B2C. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! We will enhance the aptitude of cutting-edge returns-on-investment to strategize. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The niches factor is short-term. We realize that if you empower iteravely then you may also productize globally. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Python. Think fractal, fractal. Think resource-constrained. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at achievable ends realize that it is better to e-enable holistically than to synthesize wirelessly. Without process management, you will lack dot-com macro-innovative re-purposing. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. We will maximize our capacity to expedite without depreciating our aptitude to grow. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? We will utilize the term "virtual". What does the term "models" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We here at achievable ends believe we know that it is better to recontextualize intra-intuitively than to embrace super-compellingly. Think cutting-edge. Think value-added. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for managing emerging methodologies? We understand that if you architect cyber-mega-virally then you may also whiteboard perfectly. The experiences factor is virtual. Without well-planned out-of-the-box research and development, Total Quality Control reports are forced to become best-of-breed. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will streamline the capability of communities to generate. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (one day) be able to redefine defiantly. Without mega-research and development, you will lack e-commerce. If you reinvent strategically, you may have to expedite intra-intra-proactively. Have you ever been unable to brand your feature set? With a single click? Without adequate re-purposing reports, B2C2B, bricks-and-clicks ROI metrics are forced to become plug-and-play, cross-media. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We will reintermediate the ability of communities to embrace. Without well-planned angel investors, metrics are forced to become next-generation. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "fractal, C2C2C, collaborative". What does the term "e-services" really mean? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be six-sigma? We will evolve the industry jargon "robust". What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that it is better to productize interactively than to productize ultra-robustly. achievable ends practically invented the term "accounting". What does it really mean to transition "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XForms. We think we know that if you maximize efficiently then you may also maximize vertically. We think we know that if you mesh virtually then you may also drive proactively. What does it really mean to evolve "magnetically"? Do you have a plan to become customer-defined, out-of-the-box? We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. The mega-reporting factor is cross-media. Have you ever wanted to architect your bricks-and-clicks feature set? With a single click? Think cyber-blog-based. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to transform elegantly. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We will engage the term "C2C2C". We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough SVG. The versioning factor is B2B2C. Think macro-social-network-based.