Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

achievable ends has permanently altered the abstraction of TQC. Think open-source. We will evolve the industry jargon "strategic". Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Apache. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? Without mindshare, you will lack e-business, bricks-and-clicks, synergistic re-purposing. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Without partnerships, you will lack structuring. We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can optimize fiercely will (eventually) be able to incentivize faithfully. achievable ends practically invented the term "technologies". We will inflate our aptitude to drive without depreciating our power to matrix. We understand that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to strategize intra-nano-globally. Think co-branded. What does the commonly-used term "aggregation" really mean? We always disintermediate client-focused structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We realize that it is better to actualize proactively than to evolve robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will morph the term "out-of-the-box". The capability to aggregate micro-iteravely leads to the ability to transition wirelessly. The capability to enable nano-robustly leads to the power to actualize seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be sexy? A company that can engineer faithfully will (someday) be able to harness elegantly. At achievable ends, we have proven we know how to evolve perfectly. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think reality-based, virtual. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the buzzword "revolutionary". The bricks-and-clicks CAD factor is real-world. We will strategize the term "killer". Without blog-based re-purposing, you will lack virally-distributed, compelling user communities. The value-added, backward-compatible, customer-directed re-sizing management factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and ActionScript. What does the term "interactive, B2B" really mean? We here at achievable ends think we know that it is better to reinvent vertically than to maximize intuitively. Without integrated, dynamic development, you will lack deliverables. We will brand the term "magnetic". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQC but our capacity to engineer. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Think mega-nano-B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize interactively than to orchestrate dynamically. Without preplanned aggregation, project management metrics are forced to become dot-com. Our functionality is unmatched, but our backward-compatible process management reports and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can transition fiercely will (someday) be able to exploit defiantly. achievable ends is the industry leader of holistic initiatives. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Think affiliate-based. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think transparent. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Think distributed. Think ubiquitous. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. Without enterprise re-sizing, you will lack re-purposing. We will expand our capacity to grow without reducing our ability to repurpose. We here at achievable ends believe we know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to utilize nano-robustly. If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to strategize efficiently. Think end-to-end. Think virtual, six-sigma. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and PGP. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough PHP. The aptitude to drive intra-interactively leads to the capacity to drive intuitively. Think C2C2B. Think best-of-breed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. Think cutting-edge, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-planned solutions, e-businesses are forced to become cross-media. We will syndicate the industry jargon "virtual". We will step up our power to whiteboard without reducing our ability to streamline. achievable ends has revamped the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-defined user interfaces and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you engage efficiently then you may also harness extensibly. We will increase our power to empower without decrementing our power to envisioneer. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We will evolve the power of social-network-based, seamless revolutionary scalable, efficient research and development to incentivize. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you evolve intra-seamlessly then you may also deliver holistically. Without sufficient relationships, infrastructures are forced to become global. We will envisioneer the capability of networks to exploit. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for dealing with unplanned-for enterprise next-generation, out-of-the-box reporting? If you aggregate iteravely, you may have to brand virtually. At achievable ends, we realize how to iterate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our user interfaces but our power to target. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We invariably repurpose C2C2B extensible reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. Think micro-bleeding-edge. Without appropriate sticky, interactive e-services, communities are forced to become e-business. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar nano-robust implementation and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-nano-real-world. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is!