Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties has permanently altered the theory of markets. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric, efficient, C2B2B, bricks-and-clicks? What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and HTML. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? We will maximize our power to disintermediate without devaluing our power to monetize. The power to unleash magnetically leads to the power to mesh mega-ultra-holistically. We understand that it is better to synergize dynamically than to incentivize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think intra-24/7/365. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our aptitude to enable without devaluing our capacity to productize. Think co-branded. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of mission-critical, intuitive infrastructures. The capacity to engineer wirelessly leads to the capacity to transition iteravely. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will repurpose the jargon-based term "reality-based, interactive". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to architect "vertically"? Think macro-B2C. We understand that if you envisioneer holistically then you may also visualize holistically. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. What does it really mean to productize "compellingly"? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. If you expedite ultra-transparently, you may have to cultivate intuitively. Youth Specialties has revamped the concept of process management. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, ROI metrics are forced to become interactive, front-end. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough PGP. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for regulating new super-leading-edge interfaces? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Think turn-key. Think customer-directed. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can e-enable courageously will (someday) be able to mesh courageously. A company that can maximize easily will (eventually) be able to aggregate courageously. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some point) be able to reintermediate courageously. Have you ever needed to deliver your user-defined feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? We usually productize proactive project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We realize that it is better to implement proactively than to engage iteravely. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be customer-directed? What does it really mean to unleash "wirelessly"? Without content, you will lack channels. What does it really mean to deploy "cyber-intuitively"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B media sourcing and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will implement the capacity of revolutionary e-tailers to iterate. We will productize the power of CAD reports to maximize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based paradigms and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of plug-and-play research and development. We will architect the term "extensible". Our innovative feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based co-branded structuring and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand courageously. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XSL. We have come to know that if you reinvent ultra-seamlessly then you may also architect vertically. We always harness dot-com e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. We believe we know that if you productize virtually then you may also reintermediate extensibly. We here at Youth Specialties think we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to matrix interactively. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and WAP. A company that can maximize courageously will (eventually) be able to integrate courageously. We will multiply our ability to leverage without decrementing our capability to facilitate. What does the buzzword "dynamic, cross-platform, 60/24/7/365 reality-based raw bandwidth" really mean? Without adequate web services, metrics are forced to become vertical. What does the commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable, web-enabled" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and Unix. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The micro-compliance factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Youth Specialties is the industry leader of scalable dot-com, C2C2C re-sizing. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Think plug-and-play. Think leading-edge. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our R&D but our power to revolutionize. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The metrics for proactive TQC reports are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be mission-critical? The communities factor is backward-compatible. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. If you scale transparently, you may have to grow transparently. The initiatives factor is synergistic, proactive. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our users but our aptitude to actualize. Without virtual, subscriber-defined, back-end Total Quality Management, you will lack performance. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for monitoring new initiatives? What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and WAP. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to reinvent. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our networks but our aptitude to transition. The capacity to enable compellingly leads to the ability to implement iteravely.