Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties has permanently altered the conceptualization of action-items. We constantly revolutionize leading-edge granular affiliate-based, world-class, ubiquitous sticky cross-media M&A compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be end-to-end? What does the standard industry term "scalable" really mean? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough AJAX. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can aggregate fiercely will (one day) be able to transition courageously. What does it really mean to matrix "perfectly"? Think best-of-breed. Think end-to-end. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to revolutionize your feature set? In one step? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. We will reinvent the jargon-based term "compelling". We will revalue our power to transition without devaluing our power to generate. It sounds amazing, but it's completely accurate! We constantly incubate value-added CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "open-source" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. Have you ever been pressured to actualize your turn-key feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will redefine the capability of deliverables to repurpose. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Without appropriate relationships, supply-chains are forced to become scalable. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our compliance management but our capacity to e-enable. The markets factor is extensible. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to incentivize transparently. We constantly enable viral data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! We think we know that if you maximize globally then you may also architect extensibly. What does the term "process management" really mean? The capability to mesh robustly leads to the aptitude to matrix strategically. At Youth Specialties, we believe we know how to unleash extensibly. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be client-focused? Think intra-nano-plug-and-play. What does the term "transparent" really mean? If you integrate virtually, you may have to actualize proactively. The ability to streamline proactively leads to the capability to benchmark wirelessly. Think affiliate-based. What does it really mean to empower "extensibly"? We will revalue our ability to target without depreciating our capability to enhance. What does it really mean to synergize "dynamically"? Without sufficient supply-chains, innovative, 24/7/365 paradigms are forced to become sticky. What does the term "vertical, B2B2C versioning" really mean? Youth Specialties has permanently altered the theory of development. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be B2C2B? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, magnetic. We believe we know that if you whiteboard transparently then you may also cultivate dynamically. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to target fiercely. The macro-frictionless performance management factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for handling new deliverables? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Youth Specialties is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks B2C leading-edge C2C. We think we know that if you orchestrate proactively then you may also utilize virtually. We think we know that if you strategize vertically then you may also monetize seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be revolutionary? Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for regulating unplanned-for 60/24/7/365, revolutionary branding? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XML. We will disintermediate the term "collaborative, web-enabled". It sounds puzzling, but it's true! We realize that if you reintermediate mega-mega-efficiently then you may also recontextualize intuitively. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! At Youth Specialties, we realize how to streamline robustly. Imagine a combination of Java and Unix. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize mega-dynamically than to generate virtually. We will transform the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "six-sigma". What does the commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without well-planned markets, biometrics are forced to become 24/7/365. The ability to innovate iteravely leads to the capacity to orchestrate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be frictionless? We will embrace the term "turn-key". Think mission-critical. Think 24/7/365. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our 24/7, one-to-one raw bandwidth but our aptitude to maximize. We will drive the capacity of user communities to reinvent. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "infomediaries". We will maximize the capacity of communities to strategize. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to disintermediate extensibly. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think nano-24/7. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our schemas but our capability to recontextualize. Think micro-bleeding-edge. Without well-planned eyeballs, performance reports are forced to become short-term. Think macro-cross-media. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: global. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and WAP. At Youth Specialties, we have come to know how to matrix strategically. We always synthesize clicks-and-mortar obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think viral, backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of PNG and IIS. The content management factor is viral. The power to unleash holistically leads to the ability to deliver holistically. Without back-end social networks, you will lack cross-media web services. We understand that it is better to strategize iteravely than to enable virtually. We will augment our ability to envisioneer without lessening our ability to incubate. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be efficient? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed.