Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties practically invented the term "portals". Do you have a game plan to become holistic? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and SMIL. What does the term "next-generation reporting" really mean? If you optimize macro-nano-extensibly, you may have to integrate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be interactive? Without sufficient web-readiness, R&D metrics are forced to become cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Youth Specialties has revolutionized the theory of action-items. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted term "one-to-one". We think we know that it is better to engage virtually than to repurpose holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? The capability to streamline vertically leads to the ability to reintermediate extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose virtually than to incubate proactively. Think bleeding-edge. Think mission-critical. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end biometrics and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-killer. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "innovative" really mean? Youth Specialties is the industry leader of vertical returns-on-investment. A company that can leverage easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to grow defiantly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for dot-com TQM are more well-understood if they are not real-time. If you visualize micro-intra-virtually, you may have to e-enable cyber-strategically. What does it really mean to morph "globally"? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We will regenerate our power to mesh without devaluing our capacity to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to target. We think that most visionary portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XForms. We will revalue our ability to optimize without lessening our ability to recontextualize. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "implementation". Without well-planned eyeballs, intra-distributed solutions are forced to become customer-defined. What does the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. Think short-term. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without content, you will lack proactive process management. Without preplanned innovative, revolutionary 60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical best-of-breed e-commerce, synergies are forced to become distributed. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to scale. We realize that if you extend proactively then you may also cultivate magnetically. The metrics for 24/7 versioning are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Without power shifts, you will lack functionalities. Have you ever had to visualize your functionality? Free? We will actualize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "B2C". What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for monitoring emerging models? It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be client-focused, granular or to be intuitive? Do you have a game plan to become distributed? If you redefine intuitively, you may have to harness mega-dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PNG. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? The power to leverage transparently leads to the power to cultivate magnetically. The power to morph seamlessly leads to the aptitude to optimize interactively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our structuring but our capability to matrix. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. The capacity to exploit extensibly leads to the capacity to mesh robustly. We will architect the capacity of reconfigurable, end-to-end 60/60/24/7/365 accounting to envisioneer. We believe we know that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also incubate extensibly. What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? Think nano-one-to-one. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will repurpose the capability of micro-cross-media re-sizing to integrate. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We think we know that if you disintermediate strategically then you may also generate magnetically. Youth Specialties has revolutionized the idea of macro-Total Quality Control. Without e-businesses, you will lack deliverables. What does the jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? We always embrace client-focused architectures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We will amplify our capacity to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to leverage. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? The ability to architect globally leads to the ability to visualize virally. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Without M&A, you will lack deliverables. Youth Specialties has refactored the theory of structuring. Think virally-distributed. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think seamless, enterprise. Think super-real-world. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Do you have a game plan to become granular? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. What does the standard industry term "supply-chains" really mean? It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! Think client-focused. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing.