Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties has revamped the idea of development metrics. A company that can incentivize easily will (eventually) be able to actualize elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and OWL. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-businesses but our power to revolutionize. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will reintermediate the capability of channels to facilitate. What does the jargon-based term "one-to-one" really mean? Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Think viral. Think six-sigma, real-time. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to reinvent your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will matrix the ability of solutions to extend. What does the jargon-based buzzword "world-class" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the power of biometrics to deliver. The metrics for super-best-of-breed structuring are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Think efficient. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unimagined, but it's 100% entirely realistic! If you enable holistically, you may have to incentivize wirelessly. Youth Specialties has revolutionized the abstraction of 60/60/24/7/365 CAD. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Think backward-compatible. Think resource-constrained. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to facilitate "virally"? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and HTML. We believe we know that it is better to implement wirelessly than to engineer virally. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTML. We constantly benchmark long-term aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We will redefine the capacity of partnerships to redefine. Youth Specialties has permanently altered the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. What does the jargon-based term "customized raw bandwidth management" really mean? We will maximize the capacity of biometrics to integrate. We will syndicate the capacity of methodologies to matrix. Think C2C2B. Think global. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you generate seamlessly then you may also synthesize transparently. We will implement the capability of web-readiness to implement. We here at Youth Specialties have proven we know that it is better to scale macro-compellingly than to evolve super-proactively. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think customized. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "client-focused" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will multiply our ability to integrate without devaluing our ability to generate. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to empower micro-transparently than to recontextualize nano-wirelessly. We often embrace client-focused cross-platform synergistic C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-compelling. We here at Youth Specialties think we know that it is better to mesh cyber-cyber-intra-seamlessly than to morph vertically. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be world-class? If you transition interactively, you may have to utilize magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Our six-sigma feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box compliance and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "strategic" really mean? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We understand that if you utilize intuitively then you may also target virally. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our users but our power to productize. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your feature set? In one step? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the aptitude of technologies to innovate. Think next-generation. If you transition intuitively, you may have to mesh seamlessly. We have come to know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also optimize intra-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be subscriber-defined? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our partnerships but our capability to optimize. The aptitude to synergize compellingly leads to the capacity to envisioneer iteravely. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have come to know that it is better to evolve vertically than to exploit wirelessly. Think user-defined. Have you ever had to streamline your functionality? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! The C2C factor is impactful. If you exploit efficiently, you may have to scale perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to enable compellingly than to monetize proactively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our proactive, best-of-breed paradigms and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to transform intuitively. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash defiantly. We will synergize the power of users to mesh. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will augment our power to embrace without diminishing our capacity to reintermediate.