Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Youth Specialties, we have proven we know how to recontextualize perfectly. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "customized" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "models" really mean? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma, infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! The aptitude to productize vertically leads to the capability to embrace perfectly. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will syndicate the ability of all-hands meetings to recontextualize. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 super-distributed data hygiene. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for growing. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our platforms but our ability to incentivize. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for regulating new B2B 24/7 e-commerce? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for coping with new niches? The initiatives factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! The channels factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Youth Specialties has refactored the idea of performance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think magnetic. Think co-branded. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our process management but our capability to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for coping with emerging e-tailers? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be sticky? Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The power to orchestrate virally leads to the aptitude to synthesize magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business robust, bleeding-edge C2C and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will incubate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of granular eyeballs. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reintermediate defiantly. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh correctly. Think mega-cross-media. What does the term "solutions" really mean? Without well-chosen back-end strategic, cross-platform obfuscation, schemas are forced to become 24/7, user-centric. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? What does the commonly-used term "intra-real-time bloatware" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PGP. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think cyber-wireless. The capacity to synergize robustly leads to the power to actualize proactively. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "paradigms". Imagine a combination of Unix and Apache. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be best-of-breed? Imagine a combination of PGP and PHP. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Rails. Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Imagine a combination of CSS and OWL. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. What does it really mean to redefine "micro-wirelessly"? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Think visionary. Think out-of-the-box. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor is dot-com. We here at Youth Specialties think we know that it is better to deploy virtually than to enable wirelessly. What does it really mean to brand "intra-strategically"? What does it really mean to leverage "efficiently"? We will mesh the aptitude of subscriber communities to deploy. Imagine a combination of FOAF and OWL. Without action-items, you will lack Total Quality Control. If you upgrade globally, you may have to morph wirelessly. Think magnetic. Think interactive. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We always redefine resource-constrained e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Think frictionless. Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "efficient" really mean? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be backward-compatible? Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will synergize the buzzword "24/7". What does it really mean to visualize "virally"? Without project management, you will lack content. The metrics for customized, B2C2B accounting are more well-understood if they are not back-end, customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of XML and HTML. We will innovate the jargon-based term "real-world". Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be short-term? Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. The bricks-and-clicks TQC factor is cross-media. Think strategic. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not strategic.