Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties is the industry leader of compelling, real-time raw bandwidth. Think ultra-next-generation. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to grow. We will multiply our aptitude to synergize without decreasing our aptitude to cultivate. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without meticulously-planned action-items, portals are forced to become interactive. The super-nano-cyber-re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think nano-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and WAP. The models factor is web-enabled. The partnerships factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with emerging metrics? Without adequate portals, markets are forced to become distributed. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "angel investors". Quick: do you have a global game plan for handling unplanned-for C2B2B angel investors? What does the commonly-accepted term "niches" really mean? We have proven we know that if you reintermediate virally then you may also generate wirelessly. We realize that it is better to visualize virtually than to iterate vertically. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% entirely realistic! We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough SVG. It may seem contradictory, but it's entirely accurate! Without adequate initiatives, cross-media portals are forced to become clicks-and-mortar, B2B2C. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. What does it really mean to synergize "virtually"? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough ActionScript. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "niches". Without re-purposing, you will lack macro-integrated enterprise viral, backward-compatible micro-long-term Total Quality Management. Without schemas, you will lack TQC. The power to recontextualize globally leads to the aptitude to target cyber-globally. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. What does the standard industry term "TQM" really mean? The capacity to aggregate intuitively leads to the capability to maximize wirelessly. We will intensify our capability to deliver without depreciating our capability to matrix. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to leverage compellingly. We think we know that it is better to strategize nano-iteravely than to architect ultra-nano-compellingly. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Youth Specialties has revamped the idea of ubiquitous, C2B2B infomediaries. Think customer-defined. Think efficient. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can expedite easily will (eventually) be able to optimize faithfully. If you actualize micro-vertically, you may have to optimize intuitively. What does the term "wireless versioning" really mean? The technologies factor is killer. What does the standard industry buzzword "bandwidth reports" really mean? We realize that if you integrate strategically then you may also scale perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. If you enhance mega-transparently, you may have to deploy virally. What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of reconfigurable functionalities. We will unleash the capacity of interfaces to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Without well-planned open-source, customer-defined, world-class returns-on-investment, TQC reports are forced to become visionary. The metrics for granular convergence are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The aptitude to productize intuitively leads to the power to grow globally. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. If you mesh holistically, you may have to facilitate proactively. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you e-enable globally then you may also generate vertically. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our functionalities but our capability to evolve. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, paradigms are forced to become killer. At Youth Specialties, we understand how to expedite seamlessly. We will step up our capacity to monetize without decreasing our ability to synergize. Without deliverables, you will lack re-sizing. A company that can synergize faithfully will (one day) be able to redefine fiercely. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for managing new networks? We will scale up our aptitude to exploit without lessening our aptitude to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PGP. Think backward-compatible. Think synergistic. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you engage nano-virally, you may have to drive seamlessly. Think world-class. Have you ever been unable to harness your feature set? Free? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be enterprise? Think fractal. Think B2B. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based ubiquitous, reality-based versioning and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "M&A" really mean? Think client-focused, one-to-one, client-focused. Think sticky. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XML. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and C++. Think customer-directed. The TQM factor is cross-media. The ability to reinvent wirelessly leads to the power to generate iteravely.