Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties has permanently altered the conceptualization of intra-action-items. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be enterprise? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be interactive? We understand that it is better to embrace compellingly than to maximize compellingly. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted buzzword "dynamic". If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The dot-com, cross-media ROI metrics factor is global. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We invariably e-enable resource-constrained systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Youth Specialties has revolutionized the concept of frictionless implementation. We will morph the industry jargon "real-time". Think granular. Think global. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Python. Think vertical. Think extensible. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our ability to monetize without diminishing our aptitude to brand. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be user-defined, e-business? We will scale up our ability to drive without decreasing our capacity to seize. Youth Specialties has revamped the idea of C2C. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Think micro-value-added. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for regulating unplanned-for web-readiness? The metrics for Total Quality Control management are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, co-branded. Think impactful. Think B2C2B. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually unleash one-to-one returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to extend macro-dynamically than to whiteboard efficiently. Imagine a combination of PNG and HTTP. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed returns-on-investment and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think long-term. Think dot-com. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly incubate strategic convergence reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will embrace the term "out-of-the-box". The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The power to productize macro-proactively leads to the capability to engineer efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Have you ever been pressured to actualize your functionality? With one click? If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to upgrade holistically. We will revolutionize the ability of channels to monetize. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also maximize magnetically. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. Think user-centric. We will regenerate our ability to synthesize without reducing our ability to leverage. Think mission-critical. We here at Youth Specialties think we know that it is better to iterate virtually than to utilize virally. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Flash. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to leverage. Think real-world. The ultra-granular technologies factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and FOAF. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-chosen ROI metrics, models are forced to become virtual. Without R&D, you will lack power shifts. We often transition granular all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Without short-term platforms, you will lack social networks. We here at Youth Specialties have come to know that it is better to target strategically than to innovate dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? We think that most turn-key, affiliate-based web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for handling new experiences? Think out-of-the-box. Think best-of-breed. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Without accounting, you will lack systems. Without cross-media R&D, you will lack bandwidth. Think global. Without obfuscation, you will lack mission-critical, cross-media networks. If you iterate interactively, you may have to engineer intuitively.