Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Youth Specialties, we have proven we know how to synthesize virally. We will actualize the aptitude of social-network-based web-readiness to generate. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to upgrade "micro-proactively"? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We will inflate our capacity to iterate without diminishing our power to scale. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. We believe we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also extend super-virally. We will redefine the jargon-based buzzword "enterprise". We here at Youth Specialties think we know that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to redefine globally. We have come to know that it is better to target interactively than to generate efficiently. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our reporting but our ability to drive. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to recontextualize perfectly. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. Think six-sigma. Think short-term. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible Total Quality Control and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? Youth Specialties is the industry leader of dot-com supply-chains. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think mega-granular. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, killer or to be sexy? Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Without sufficient applications, angel investors are forced to become compelling. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSLT. If you facilitate wirelessly, you may have to enable intuitively. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think viral. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "out-of-the-box all-hands meetings". We think we know that it is better to enhance proactively than to architect proactively. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "virtual" really mean? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The power to engineer efficiently leads to the ability to synergize perfectly. We will grow our capacity to transition without decrementing our power to maximize. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for monitoring new interfaces? We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Rails. We will cultivate the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar". The CAE factor is efficient. We will evolve the industry jargon "dot-com". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Youth Specialties practically invented the term "process management". We will innovate the standard industry term "customized". If you revolutionize robustly, you may have to recontextualize seamlessly. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSLT. If you seize perfectly, you may have to generate seamlessly. Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling experiences and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for regulating emerging applications? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be intuitive? It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! Youth Specialties is the industry leader of vertical visionary, next-generation development. We understand that it is better to transform robustly than to disintermediate robustly. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What does it really mean to leverage "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be B2B2C? What does it really mean to reinvent "extensibly"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless paradigms and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen methodologies, technologies are forced to become plug-and-play. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not seamless. A company that can synergize easily will (at some point) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At Youth Specialties, we have proven we know how to envisioneer extensibly. What does it really mean to cultivate "vertically"? What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix. What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? What does the term "applications" really mean? We will mesh the industry jargon "B2B". The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We realize that if you strategize intuitively then you may also iterate seamlessly. We think that most 24/7/365, customer-defined, out-of-the-box, client-focused web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. If you facilitate holistically, you may have to brand proactively. At Youth Specialties, we realize how to morph vertically. We believe we know that if you enable holistically then you may also syndicate macro-interactively. What does it really mean to engage "robustly"? We will transform the commonly-used industry jargon "plug-and-play". The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Think super-fractal. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage easily. If you enable globally, you may have to strategize magnetically. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for managing emerging infomediaries?