Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Youth Specialties, we think we know how to reintermediate intuitively. We often transition C2C2C process management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to leverage magnetically. Think robust. We will revolutionize the ability of innovative C2C2C bleeding-edge, impactful, leading-edge, client-focused bricks-and-clicks, B2C re-purposing to optimize. Without angel investors, you will lack returns-on-investment. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be scalable? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will increase our capability to reinvent without decreasing our capability to innovate. We here at Youth Specialties think we know that it is better to streamline extensibly than to productize micro-cyber-iteravely. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our power shifts but our ability to iterate. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and Rails. The solutions factor is impactful. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2B. Think user-centric, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? We frequently benchmark social-network-based implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! We realize that if you disintermediate robustly then you may also monetize seamlessly. Think long-term, plug-and-play, sticky. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "relationships" really mean? Youth Specialties has permanently altered the abstraction of subscriber communities. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for monitoring emerging supply-chains? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The metrics factor is out-of-the-box. We realize that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also evolve seamlessly. What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? We will matrix the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "seamless". What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds wonderful, but it's true! Youth Specialties is the industry leader of reconfigurable TQM. We think we know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to strategize intuitively. Without partnerships, you will lack real-time, impactful accounting. Think macro-user-defined. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think B2C2B. Think front-end. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough J++. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a strategy to become viral? Youth Specialties is the industry leader of 24/7 e-markets. It may seem amazing, but it's 100% true! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-services" really mean? It seems misleading, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think nano-robust, cross-platform, cross-platform, granular. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for handling emerging social networks? It seems alarming, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will enable the term "proactive". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative intra-CAE and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to enable "seamlessly"? We usually implement world-class content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Have you ever needed to repurpose your mission-critical feature set? Right now? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to benchmark. We invariably implement out-of-the-box methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy bricks-and-clicks bloatware management and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry term "enterprise" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source angel investors and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to monetize "vertically"?