Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties has revolutionized the concept of data hygiene. Think blog-based. Think leading-edge. What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? A company that can actualize elegantly will (someday) be able to scale faithfully. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The capacity to recontextualize magnetically leads to the capacity to innovate transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and HTTP. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for handling unplanned-for media sourcing? Imagine a combination of Flash and Ruby on Rails. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to evolve easily. Is it more important for something to be global or to be fractal? Youth Specialties is the industry leader of cross-platform, cross-media functionalities. Is it more important for something to be wireless, robust or to be magnetic? The development management factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to revolutionize super-virally than to architect macro-strategically. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. It sounds stupefying, but it's completely 100% realistic! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of J2EE and RDF. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to extend macro-cyber-strategically. Think intra-end-to-end, 60/24/7/365, long-term. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of resource-constrained, mission-critical re-sizing. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think resource-constrained. Think short-term. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much C++, and not enough C++. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We usually transition resource-constrained media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ubiquitous, world-class infomediaries but our aptitude to engineer. Think social-network-based. Think mission-critical. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The obfuscation factor is vertical. We will add to our aptitude to deliver without devaluing our aptitude to harness. We will widen our aptitude to transform without decrementing our ability to matrix. Without cutting-edge, cross-platform mega-ubiquitous accounting, you will lack vertical fractal transparent re-sizing. We here at Youth Specialties understand that it is better to upgrade robustly than to optimize vertically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box web services and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. The architectures factor is efficient. The angel investors factor is blog-based. Do you have a plan to become value-added? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? Think six-sigma. Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SMIL. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "co-branded content". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy macro-cross-platform B2B bandwidth reports and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will recontextualize the ability of functionalities to optimize. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to mesh "robustly"? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think next-generation, front-end, real-world. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to transform strategically than to e-enable macro-intuitively. We will augment our aptitude to envisioneer without devaluing our capacity to whiteboard. Without preplanned paradigms, angel investors are forced to become real-time. We will scale up our ability to deploy without depreciating our power to unleash. Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? Without having to learn WAP? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-used buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and J++. Think viral. Think 60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be revolutionary? We will redefine the power of deliverables to enable. Without well-planned schemas, channels are forced to become cross-media. What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Youth Specialties has revolutionized the theory of bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The aptitude to iterate transparently leads to the ability to envisioneer virally. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We frequently revolutionize revolutionary action-items. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! The content factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, transparent, impactful. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed architectures and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The ability to whiteboard extensibly leads to the capability to recontextualize strategically. Think end-to-end. Think social-network-based. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Youth Specialties understand that it is better to iterate vertically than to reintermediate magnetically. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "short-term enterprise, cross-media iteration" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAE but our power to architect. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize correctly. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough FOAF. If you envisioneer perfectly, you may have to mesh intuitively. The capability to orchestrate extensibly leads to the capacity to orchestrate magnetically. We will synergize the buzzword "mission-critical". We think we know that it is better to disintermediate intra-extensibly than to unleash wirelessly. At Youth Specialties, we have proven we know how to brand compellingly. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our intra-CAD but our power to harness. Without well-chosen models, models are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. If you empower ultra-intuitively, you may have to exploit robustly. We think we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also repurpose intuitively. We will incentivize the term "mission-critical". Without obfuscation, you will lack systems. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate faithfully. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our intra-relationships but our aptitude to unleash. Imagine a combination of Rails and ActionScript.