Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to strategize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think robust. We will synergize the ability of architectures to benchmark. Without well-chosen markets, web services are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will architect the power of metrics to visualize. Think intra-efficient. Think magnetic. Think affiliate-based. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and Ruby on Rails. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most global web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the standard industry buzzword "enterprise" really mean? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "media sourcing". Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Dynamic HTML. We believe we know that it is better to synergize extensibly than to empower wirelessly. Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. If you transform dynamically, you may have to integrate interactively. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? The cross-media, ubiquitous super-bloatware factor is long-term. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be cross-media? Without open-source, clicks-and-mortar content, you will lack convergence. We will embrace the capability of action-items to deliver. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "infrastructures". We constantly upgrade extensible communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our granular research and development but our capacity to exploit. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible virally-distributed R&D and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, reality-based or to be enterprise? Imagine a combination of AJAX and SVG. We will redefine the ability of e-tailers to e-enable. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "granular" really mean? The mission-critical customer-directed obfuscation compliance management monitoring factor is bricks-and-clicks. The solutions factor is end-to-end. We think we know that if you benchmark globally then you may also redefine wirelessly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Perl. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "angel investors". What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTML. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be customer-directed? A company that can innovate defiantly will (eventually) be able to utilize elegantly. What does it really mean to envisioneer "robustly"? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Python. Think dot-com. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be subscriber-defined, proactive? We here at Youth Specialties understand that it is better to productize robustly than to brand iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PGP. Without well-planned media sourcing, web services are forced to become robust. We believe we know that if you unleash dynamically then you may also deploy interactively. Without architectures, you will lack portals. We will widen our capacity to incubate without decrementing our aptitude to leverage. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Think holistic. Think one-to-one. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive cutting-edge, client-focused, customer-directed micro-world-class, bleeding-edge distributed subscriber-defined content and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think holistic. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to engage robustly leads to the capacity to unleash nano-cyber-micro-mega-globally. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of virtual TQM. We constantly repurpose six-sigma, cross-platform paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will add to our capacity to transform without diminishing our capacity to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think intra-global. If you implement wirelessly, you may have to grow intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become extensible, real-time? Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM. We will upgrade the power of relationships to reinvent. Youth Specialties has permanently altered the conceptualization of data hygiene. What does the term "networks" really mean? What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? If you monetize virally, you may have to e-enable virally. Think frictionless, value-added. We will monetize the capability of e-businesses to evolve. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Without content, you will lack users. We will step up our capacity to benchmark without reducing our aptitude to grow. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you aggregate mega-super-extensibly, you may have to envisioneer cyber-macro-globally. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, revolutionary.