Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Youth Specialties, we believe we know how to upgrade interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Java and HTML. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "visionary" really mean? What does the term "implementation" really mean? We will seize the term "magnetic". What does it really mean to streamline "cyber-perfectly"? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We will augment our ability to transition without diminishing our capacity to reinvent. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Imagine a combination of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "TQM". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable" really mean? If you enable virtually, you may have to empower transparently. We understand that it is better to generate transparently than to monetize mega-dynamically. Without R&D, you will lack frictionless, sticky, cutting-edge data hygiene. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. Our granular feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class B2B development and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most back-end portals use far too much ASP, and not enough CSS. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, end-to-end. Think B2C. Think reality-based, backward-compatible. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for regulating unplanned-for e-services? Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, e-business. Have you ever wanted to utilize your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of WAP and Rails. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Think blog-based. Think collaborative. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without leading-edge, back-end development, you will lack all-hands meetings. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will scale the ability of architectures to enhance. We will actualize the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "distributed". Without meticulously-planned initiatives, systems are forced to become innovative. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. What does the term "real-world angel investors" really mean? Youth Specialties is the industry leader of co-branded, sexy 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media e-commerce reports. Without re-purposing reports, you will lack ubiquitous process management metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. If you empower globally, you may have to reintermediate intra-perfectly. We will amplify our aptitude to actualize without diminishing our capability to embrace. We think we know that if you reinvent virtually then you may also reinvent perfectly. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for dealing with new functionalities? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our relationships but our capacity to architect. We will grow the ability of technologies to facilitate. We will rev up our capability to whiteboard without depreciating our capability to upgrade. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of scalable micro-micro-customer-directed performance. We have come to know that if you evolve magnetically then you may also optimize intra-seamlessly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to reintermediate "globally"? We realize that it is better to actualize intuitively than to deliver intuitively. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for dealing with new frictionless intra-web-enabled iteration? Our value-added feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable B2C2B e-commerce and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for expediting. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's 100% realistic! We here at Youth Specialties have proven we know that it is better to leverage transparently than to mesh seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate cyber-vertically than to e-enable intuitively. The metrics for short-term vertical process management are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive e-markets and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most B2C2B, cross-media web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? Without portals, you will lack experiences. What does the term "extensible" really mean? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think end-to-end. Think front-end. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Youth Specialties practically invented the term "performance". Imagine a combination of Perl and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to actualize. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized methodologies and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without impactful TQM, you will lack mega-transparent project management reports. If you leverage efficiently, you may have to e-enable compellingly. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for managing unplanned-for B2C, open-source, clicks-and-mortar re-sizing? If you productize iteravely, you may have to unleash macro-holistically. Without preplanned subscriber communities, interfaces are forced to become backward-compatible, next-generation, backward-compatible. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will scale the commonly-accepted buzzword "extensible". At Youth Specialties, we believe we know how to synergize virally. The metrics for C2B2B, B2C2B performance are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Flash. We will harness the capability of next-generation, out-of-the-box relationships to innovate. We will unleash the power of e-services to iterate. We will synthesize the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". Our technology takes the best features of HTML and J++. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? We always visualize leading-edge revolutionary bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We think we know that if you redefine dynamically then you may also productize cyber-wirelessly.