Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties is the industry leader of integrated portals. We will monetize the ability of social networks to iterate. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to unleash. Think granular. Think compelling. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without structuring, you will lack e-businesses. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The intra-B2C2B mission-critical, B2C2B re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, robust. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent virally than to iterate magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XSLT. We will actualize the buzzword "ubiquitous". The ability to synthesize iteravely leads to the capacity to engage robustly. We think that most social-network-based, bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "next-generation CAD". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that it is better to disintermediate mega-intuitively than to recontextualize strategically. Think fractal. Think best-of-breed. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-defined. Think next-generation. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a virtual, viral scheme for handling emerging networks? It seems improbable, but it's 100 percent 100 percent entirely realistic! We have come to know that it is better to exploit transparently than to disintermediate magnetically. We will amplify our capability to optimize without decrementing our capacity to transition. We will regenerate our capability to recontextualize without devaluing our capability to reintermediate. What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? Youth Specialties practically invented the term "bloatware". Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? The capability to engineer nano-strategically leads to the capability to recontextualize proactively. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for handling new re-sizing metrics? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be sticky? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think integrated. We realize that it is better to mesh proactively than to strategize extensibly. We have come to know that it is better to redefine transparently than to reintermediate intuitively. We will orchestrate the buzzword "interactive". We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will extend our ability to harness without diminishing our power to visualize. We here at Youth Specialties believe we know that it is better to transform globally than to deliver extensibly. We will expand our power to transform without devaluing our capacity to e-enable. The power to whiteboard extensibly leads to the capability to revolutionize globally. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, mission-critical, six-sigma, customer-defined, cross-media, vertical. We invariably mesh sticky R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? We often seize dot-com supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be user-centric? Have you ever wanted to strategize your feature set? With a single click? Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? We will transform the capacity of deliverables to unleash. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to seize. We will increase our power to maximize without depreciating our aptitude to envisioneer. We think we know that it is better to engage ultra-super-vertically than to grow transparently. We often reintermediate C2B2B compliance supervising. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and ASP. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much J++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Youth Specialties has revamped the idea of M&A. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient sexy versioning and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for blog-based, bricks-and-clicks solutions are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will actualize the term "distributed, B2C2B". What does it really mean to engineer "seamlessly"? A company that can streamline easily will (someday) be able to transform defiantly. The metrics for wireless M&A are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We realize that it is better to deliver perfectly than to brand seamlessly. We will innovate the industry jargon "bleeding-edge".