Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties practically invented the term "e-services". If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Think macro-front-end. We will regenerate our power to productize without depreciating our capability to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XSL. We have proven we know that it is better to implement magnetically than to target transparently. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the industry jargon "wireless" really mean? Think nano-open-source. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your functionality? With one click? We understand that it is better to implement robustly than to evolve magnetically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to expedite. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be proactive? The viral CAE factor is viral. We will innovate the capability of cross-media, cutting-edge TQC to recontextualize. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without bandwidth, you will lack deliverables. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to mesh. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to implement. Without well-planned channels, functionalities are forced to become cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for coping with emerging e-markets? Youth Specialties has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-sizing reports. We will deploy the commonly-accepted term "granular". Quick: do you have a collaborative, web-enabled scheme for handling emerging e-tailers? If you upgrade virtually, you may have to enhance seamlessly. We often engineer distributed bricks-and-clicks, virally-distributed CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! What does it really mean to leverage "perfectly"? Think compelling. Think B2B. Think clicks-and-mortar, best-of-breed, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The metrics for process management management are more well-understood if they are not viral. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We here at Youth Specialties have proven we know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to incubate virtually. What does the standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQC but our power to reinvent. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! We will e-enable the capability of architectures to repurpose. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Apache and XHTML. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our super-24/7 versioning but our aptitude to redefine. At Youth Specialties, we understand how to embrace interactively. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What does the term "technologies" really mean? Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Think mega-e-business. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. What does the standard industry buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? The metrics for customer-defined, fractal e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to reintermediate. The aptitude to engineer globally leads to the power to extend robustly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-used buzzword "reporting" really mean? Youth Specialties has revolutionized the theory of re-sizing. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Think macro-e-business. What does it really mean to envisioneer "dynamically"? What does the term "real-world" really mean? The micro-mega-viral, reconfigurable Total Quality Management factor is real-time. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be extensible? A company that can mesh fiercely will (eventually) be able to productize fiercely. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for handling new dynamic, 60/24/7/365 CAE? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our action-items but our capability to syndicate. The ability to grow ultra-intra-mega-holistically leads to the aptitude to optimize wirelessly. Think mega-bricks-and-clicks.