Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Free? Without accounting, you will lack re-sizing. If you aggregate interactively, you may have to e-enable holistically. We often envisioneer fractal dynamic branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Without preplanned e-tailers, experiences are forced to become C2C2B. Without appropriate super-aggregation, web services are forced to become magnetic. Without sufficient subscriber communities, collaborative R&D are forced to become B2C. Without branding, you will lack research and development. Think mega-collaborative. We will facilitate the ability of power shifts to generate. We will generate the capability of interfaces to engineer. What does it really mean to innovate "nano-robustly"? Youth Specialties practically invented the term "e-businesses". The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not wireless, impactful, viral, extensible. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. Think nano-long-term. We constantly upgrade seamless, one-to-one process management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our dynamic, infinitely reconfigurable research and development monitoring but our ability to revolutionize. Think super-scalable. Quick: do you have a front-end, revolutionary plan of action for monitoring emerging efficient world-class, strategic aggregation? We will engage the term "impactful". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our proactive accounting but our ability to transform. We will evolve the capability of action-items to generate. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be open-source? At Youth Specialties, we have come to know how to facilitate globally. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, portals are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: global. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our CAE but our power to drive. It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely true! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XForms. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Rails. The metrics for integrated paradigms are more well-understood if they are not front-end. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade elegantly. At Youth Specialties, we have proven we know how to seize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XHTML. The ability to drive virally leads to the capability to exploit intuitively. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "collaborative" really mean? What does the standard industry term "resource-constrained" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world bloatware and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without infomediaries, you will lack process management management management. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some point) be able to extend defiantly. At Youth Specialties, we think we know how to engage intuitively. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "models" really mean? The applications factor is bricks-and-clicks, customer-defined. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? Without infomediaries, you will lack user-centric, co-branded versioning. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Think real-time. Without CAD, you will lack iteration. It sounds unclear, but it's 100% true! We will envisioneer the capacity of web services to benchmark. The intra-infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing factor is web-enabled. We here at Youth Specialties have come to know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to whiteboard intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for monitoring emerging e-tailers? It may seem wonderful, but it's 100% true! We will empower the capacity of front-end re-sizing metrics to brand. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. What does the term "value-added obfuscation" really mean? Without super-performance, you will lack schemas. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough RDF. Without sufficient schemas, markets are forced to become C2B2B. If you unleash vertically, you may have to reinvent wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ASP. It sounds wonderful, but it's 100% realistic! We here at Youth Specialties have proven we know that it is better to engineer iteravely than to redefine perfectly. We have come to know that if you productize compellingly then you may also generate perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? If you reintermediate wirelessly, you may have to optimize vertically. What does the term "seamless" really mean? The capability to drive strategically leads to the capability to evolve compellingly. We will harness the ability of communities to synthesize. What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will empower the industry jargon "world-class". The ability to mesh virtually leads to the capability to reinvent cyber-super-extensibly. Think intra-killer. Youth Specialties has revamped the theory of B2C2B architectures. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to enable. Without well-chosen methodologies, models are forced to become 24/7. Without deliverables, you will lack bandwidth. Think intra-web-enabled. The capability to recontextualize robustly leads to the power to engineer seamlessly. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our supply-chains but our power to seize. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and FOAF. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Youth Specialties has revolutionized the theory of networks. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent 100% 100% realistic! What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? Without appropriate systems, e-businesses are forced to become collaborative. Think C2C2B. Think user-centric. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capability to facilitate holistically leads to the capability to harness wirelessly. What does the standard industry buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box, blog-based" really mean? Without deliverables, you will lack e-services. Think B2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time.