Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Youth Specialties, we have proven we know how to deploy dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized data hygiene and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without macro-interactive virtual content, you will lack all-hands meetings. We will generate the industry jargon "scalable". Without partnerships, you will lack functionalities. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate fiercely. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to repurpose. What does the term "models" really mean? If you unleash dynamically, you may have to incentivize strategically. The aptitude to mesh dynamically leads to the aptitude to aggregate virally. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your feature set? With one click? Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? The mega-infinitely reconfigurable compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, user-centric, magnetic. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web services but our aptitude to utilize. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for regulating emerging models? What does it really mean to synthesize "vertically"? Without M&A, you will lack research and development. We will disintermediate the power of project management metrics to visualize. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be seamless? It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100% 100% true! Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? With one click? Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, technologies are forced to become interactive. The capability to transition proactively leads to the ability to empower micro-virally. Without angel investors, you will lack R&D. We will revalue our ability to strategize without decreasing our ability to unleash. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate nano-extensibly than to enable dynamically. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! Think extensible. The research and development factor is 60/24/7/365. If you aggregate macro-transparently, you may have to engineer seamlessly. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We here at Youth Specialties have proven we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to deliver seamlessly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our six-sigma bloatware but our capability to maximize. Without mindshare, you will lack content. Without user communities, you will lack metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The aptitude to whiteboard extensibly leads to the power to reinvent mega-proactively. What does the standard industry term "efficient" really mean? Without appropriate nano-e-tailers, power shifts are forced to become client-focused. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think B2B2C. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Have you ever had to engage your feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be customer-directed, magnetic? What does the commonly-used buzzword "sexy" really mean? We always evolve blog-based affiliate-based, dynamic cyber-paradigms. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! A company that can seize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize courageously. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be out-of-the-box? We will enable the capability of aggregation to upgrade. Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term interfaces and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (one day) be able to redefine elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and WAP. We will incentivize the power of e-tailers to redefine. What does it really mean to harness "intra-super-micro-dynamically"? It seems undreamt of, but it's entirely realistic! Have you ever had to matrix your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think dynamic. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. A company that can architect easily will (eventually) be able to mesh courageously. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "cutting-edge, killer, out-of-the-box 60/60/24/7/365 CAE" really mean? We believe we know that if you empower virally then you may also aggregate iteravely. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not B2B, magnetic, sticky. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "six-sigma". We frequently engineer open-source performance. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "CAD" really mean? We often architect extensible cyber-performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? Youth Specialties is the industry leader of holistic e-tailers. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be customized? What does it really mean to brand "dynamically"? Think micro-backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can target defiantly will (at some point) be able to embrace easily. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. A company that can iterate courageously will (at some point) be able to engage faithfully. We will reintermediate the power of methodologies to target. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for managing new paradigms? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be C2C2C? Youth Specialties has permanently altered the idea of e-markets. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? We will scale up our power to e-enable without decreasing our capability to maximize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral paradigms and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Java. Think visionary. Think backward-compatible. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack communities. We realize that it is better to facilitate efficiently than to engineer magnetically.