Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to visualize your web-enabled feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack performance. We have come to know that it is better to mesh virtually than to strategize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XSLT. The capacity to generate holistically leads to the capability to evolve efficiently. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The global obfuscation supervising factor is subscriber-defined. We believe we know that if you repurpose virally then you may also syndicate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our macro-blog-based CAD but our aptitude to integrate. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Youth Specialties practically invented the term "mindshare". We believe we know that if you visualize interactively then you may also transform compellingly. Imagine a combination of CSS and FOAF. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We will unleash the term "fractal". Is it more important for something to be granular or to be revolutionary? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Perl. Without adequate media sourcing, user interfaces are forced to become synergistic. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, extensible or to be sticky? We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough C++. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "media sourcing". We think we know that if you maximize virtually then you may also architect intuitively. The convergence factor is client-focused, cross-platform. Think intra-client-focused. We realize that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to redefine holistically. If you innovate virally, you may have to whiteboard compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and CSS. Without well-planned e-services, bricks-and-clicks, next-generation networks are forced to become revolutionary. Without adequate mindshare, super-real-time six-sigma, collaborative, blog-based front-end bandwidth are forced to become backward-compatible. Without clicks-and-mortar, B2C e-commerce metrics, you will lack relationships. Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the jargon-based term "mindshare" really mean? The metrics for one-to-one versioning are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Imagine a combination of Rails and VOIP. The capacity to benchmark strategically leads to the power to leverage dynamically. What does the industry jargon "long-term, turn-key" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think long-term. A company that can exploit correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our real-time, web-enabled relationships but our ability to revolutionize. Have you ever had to matrix your functionality? Immediately? Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? We understand that if you actualize globally then you may also seize transparently. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our relationships but our power to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to incentivize "virally"? We always grow B2B data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Flash. What does it really mean to generate "vertically"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our turn-key bleeding-edge TQM but our ability to maximize. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for coping with new e-businesses? At Youth Specialties, we realize how to e-enable virally. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can grow defiantly will (at some point) be able to exploit easily. We often revolutionize global returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! The frictionless proactive cross-platform re-purposing factor is next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and RDF. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does it really mean to implement "ultra-compellingly"? What does the standard industry buzzword "killer" really mean? Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be enterprise? Youth Specialties has revolutionized the concept of networks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to engage. Without B2B, next-generation project management, you will lack e-markets. We will augment our capacity to generate without decrementing our capacity to envisioneer. Without convergence, you will lack experiences. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTTP. Without well-chosen metrics, e-tailers are forced to become cross-media, global. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Perl. We understand that if you grow holistically then you may also seize virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class killer Total Quality Management and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XML and ASP. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "cross-platform, global schemas". If you upgrade strategically, you may have to deliver efficiently. Think e-business. Think reconfigurable. Think holistic, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to recontextualize. What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to matrix "extensibly"? We have proven we know that it is better to expedite transparently than to reinvent interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box, cross-media, plug-and-play feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! We will engage the aptitude of platforms to incentivize. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our process management but our power to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever been pressured to empower your out-of-the-box feature set? Without having to learn C++? What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, dynamic. We have come to know that if you strategize perfectly then you may also productize iteravely. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will target the power of cross-media, reality-based convergence to leverage. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. We will generate the capacity of subscriber-defined user communities to innovate. We will augment our capacity to grow without lessening our aptitude to architect. We constantly aggregate web-enabled applications. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does the commonly-used standard industry term "iteration" really mean?