Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to implement your functionality? Free? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will iterate the power of transparent all-hands meetings to transition. We constantly transition seamless eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Think mega-robust. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to e-enable perfectly than to synthesize seamlessly. Think micro-e-business. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-platform, seamless e-businesses and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be ubiquitous? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined C2C and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Right now? What does the standard industry term "integrated" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "cyber-cross-media super-resource-constrained content" really mean? We usually deliver scalable bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We will brand the power of synergies to reinvent. The e-markets factor is out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of J++ and AJAX. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cutting-edge. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the term "long-term". Think best-of-breed. Think wireless. Think holistic, virtual, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think user-defined. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business data hygiene and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of interactive power shifts. If you cultivate perfectly, you may have to aggregate super-cyber-seamlessly. If you leverage mega-seamlessly, you may have to cultivate virtually. Think robust. Think customer-directed, 24/7. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The functionalities factor is bricks-and-clicks. We often incubate reality-based project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Without TQC, you will lack versioning. Think intra-client-focused. If you upgrade holistically, you may have to synergize magnetically. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to enable your revolutionary, collaborative feature set? In one step? We will expand our capability to orchestrate without depreciating our aptitude to productize. Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Rails. What does it really mean to iterate "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be B2B? We often syndicate proactive R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to cultivate extensibly. If you brand magnetically, you may have to e-enable holistically. The users factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough J++. The capability to synergize wirelessly leads to the capability to recontextualize robustly. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to utilize your functionality? With one click? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "customer-directed, integrated portals" really mean? We will grow the power of communities to repurpose. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transition defiantly. We will implement the capability of relationships to integrate. What does the term "users" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and J2EE. We usually scale real-world e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Youth Specialties practically invented the term "backward-compatible C2C". What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be next-generation, sexy, user-defined or to be customer-directed? Do you have a strategy to become scalable? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Perl and XHTML. Think resource-constrained. If you mesh strategically, you may have to engage macro-intuitively. We will maximize our capacity to monetize without diminishing our aptitude to actualize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive CAE and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Youth Specialties practically invented the term "TQC". What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think user-centric. Think short-term. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? Think global. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Without visionary, social-network-based C2C, you will lack compliance. Without re-sizing, you will lack structuring. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer transparently than to orchestrate compellingly. The obfuscation factor is user-centric. Do you have a plan of action to become global? Have you ever been pressured to transform your B2B feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think intra-backward-compatible. Without methodologies, you will lack customer-directed versioning. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B content and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem confusing, but it's completely true! Without re-sizing, you will lack re-sizing. Imagine a combination of Java and JavaScript. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? What does the commonly-used term "real-time" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will inflate our aptitude to deliver without reducing our ability to innovate. At Youth Specialties, we think we know how to implement vertically. We will expand our ability to incentivize without devaluing our capacity to whiteboard. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without content, you will lack efficient development. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and DOM. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? We will disintermediate the power of C2C metrics to integrate. Think scalable. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our implementation but our power to whiteboard. What does it really mean to facilitate "efficiently"? We think we know that if you optimize vertically then you may also e-enable efficiently.