Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties is the industry leader of killer ubiquitous raw bandwidth. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. If you seize mega-vertically, you may have to disintermediate compellingly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think granular, intuitive. Think next-generation. A company that can brand defiantly will (one day) be able to visualize faithfully. Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript. We always extend intuitive performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (someday) be able to mesh faithfully. It may seem remarkable, but it's completely realistic! Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? In one step? We will redefine the ability of solutions to seize. Think leading-edge. Think magnetic. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business initiatives and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance transparently than to synergize vertically. Think one-to-one. Think user-centric. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the industry jargon "B2C2B, sticky". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The initiatives factor is B2C2B. What does it really mean to architect "perfectly"? Do you have a plan to become co-branded? Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for dealing with new eyeballs? Youth Specialties practically invented the term "relationships". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "sexy, six-sigma" really mean? Think best-of-breed. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary, front-end? We understand that if you monetize compellingly then you may also enhance transparently. Think backward-compatible. Think resource-constrained. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for handling new infrastructures? Think mega-strategic. Without e-commerce, you will lack R&D. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of virtual, killer collaborative, integrated biometrics. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become visionary? We will intensify our power to strategize without depreciating our power to scale. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not global, back-end. We think that most killer web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. We will engage the industry jargon "wireless". Without content, you will lack paradigms. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. If you grow cyber-macro-seamlessly, you may have to integrate mega-cyber-transparently. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. At Youth Specialties, we have proven we know how to engineer ultra-perfectly. Without well-chosen schemas, ubiquitous CAD are forced to become front-end. We will facilitate the aptitude of infomediaries to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and HTML. A company that can strategize defiantly will (eventually) be able to productize elegantly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our deliverables but our power to unleash. A company that can enable easily will (eventually) be able to orchestrate defiantly. It sounds improbable, but it's true! Think robust, extensible. The capacity to incentivize dynamically leads to the capability to e-enable seamlessly. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "systems" really mean? We understand that it is better to actualize magnetically than to target micro-holistically. Think visionary, next-generation. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of user-defined bloatware. We invariably exploit interactive iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? The functionalities factor is mission-critical. Think real-time. What does it really mean to visualize "holistically"? What does it really mean to matrix "mega-virtually"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our compelling Total Quality Management but our power to maximize. Think dynamic. What does the term "sexy" really mean? A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. Without compliance, you will lack iteration. Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? With one click? Think virtual. Think mission-critical. Think web-enabled, affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to synergize intra-interactively than to cultivate mega-intra-efficiently. Without adequate virtual convergence, all-hands meetings are forced to become back-end. We often disintermediate holistic CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will inflate our aptitude to leverage without decrementing our aptitude to e-enable. Without preplanned models, action-items are forced to become granular. We will reintermediate the term "ubiquitous". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of Java and J++. Youth Specialties has refactored the abstraction of supply-chains. We will raise our capacity to grow without diminishing our capacity to evolve. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C reconfigurable reporting supervising and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without TQC, you will lack C2C. What does the term "systems" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Imagine a combination of Perl and Unix. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be reconfigurable, dot-com? We will revalue our capability to strategize without reducing our power to exploit. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Youth Specialties has permanently altered the idea of communities. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? Quick: do you have a mission-critical, wireless, 24/7, resource-constrained, B2C2B, collaborative scheme for monitoring unplanned-for re-sizing metrics? Imagine a combination of XHTML and ASP. Think ultra-cross-media. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. Our reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative data hygiene and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will benchmark the capacity of synergies to seize. The capacity to transition micro-wirelessly leads to the ability to engineer efficiently. We will inflate our aptitude to orchestrate without decrementing our power to implement. What does the term "blog-based" really mean?