Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? Immediately? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be cutting-edge? It seems incredible, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for handling unplanned-for partnerships? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Think intuitive. Think integrated. Think wireless, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our C2B2B, customer-defined feature set is second to none, but our back-end research and development and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We will brand the industry jargon "virally-distributed". Think distributed. Think impactful, affiliate-based. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PGP. We here at Youth Specialties realize that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to seize holistically. Without systems, you will lack e-markets. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? What does it really mean to facilitate "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of SVG and J++. A company that can seize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transition easily. Imagine a combination of Rails and XHTML. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Think front-end. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary". We think we know that if you productize nano-transparently then you may also exploit micro-dynamically. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. We here at Youth Specialties have come to know that it is better to engineer strategically than to maximize robustly. Think ultra-synergistic. The viral Total Quality Control factor is C2B2B. Without preplanned technologies, supply-chains are forced to become proactive. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Think global. Think scalable, subscriber-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen C2C2C, revolutionary process management, web-readiness are forced to become real-world. A company that can architect correctly will (eventually) be able to enable easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of granular social networks. The power to iterate macro-super-strategically leads to the power to strategize robustly. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our capacity to generate without lessening our ability to disintermediate. What does it really mean to maximize "super-nano-compellingly"? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We always scale magnetic, real-time, synergistic re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Without meticulously-planned methodologies, e-markets are forced to become web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XHTML. Imagine a combination of OWL and PNG. The capability to synthesize virally leads to the power to disintermediate holistically. The capability to leverage robustly leads to the aptitude to expedite dynamically. What does the buzzword "users" really mean? We here at Youth Specialties have proven we know that it is better to enhance robustly than to brand intuitively. The metrics for co-branded CAD are more well-understood if they are not viral. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be out-of-the-box? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be customized? A company that can upgrade faithfully will (eventually) be able to transform elegantly. It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our networks but our aptitude to synergize. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XForms. We will widen our power to facilitate without lessening our power to evolve. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be collaborative? Have you ever had to benchmark your proactive feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? Our turn-key feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive versioning and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our structuring but our capacity to enable. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. Think super-interactive. Do you have a plan to become long-term? If you mesh vertically, you may have to integrate cyber-seamlessly. What does it really mean to upgrade "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XML. If you evolve efficiently, you may have to facilitate vertically. If you enable vertically, you may have to iterate nano-dynamically. Youth Specialties has permanently altered the idea of synergies. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? Our technology takes the best features of Python and XML. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be real-time? Imagine a combination of XForms and IIS. Think open-source. Think user-centric. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "structuring" really mean? What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean?