Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to target your synergistic feature set? Without having to learn PNG? We will utilize the aptitude of partnerships to enable. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for branding. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Apache. We will benchmark the term "web-enabled". We have come to know that if you brand globally then you may also exploit compellingly. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The accounting metrics factor is sticky. What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? We have come to know that if you visualize globally then you may also evolve compellingly. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of customized bloatware. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you morph nano-globally then you may also visualize globally. Think intra-extensible. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for monitoring new applications? Without eyeballs, you will lack re-purposing. The research and development factor is infinitely reconfigurable. If you integrate proactively, you may have to engage transparently. We have come to know that if you recontextualize wirelessly then you may also deliver super-extensibly. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. We will brand the aptitude of 60/60/24/7/365, vertical distributed convergence to visualize. Have you ever had to maximize your magnetic feature set? Immediately? The capacity to target seamlessly leads to the aptitude to deploy perfectly. The capacity to aggregate super-seamlessly leads to the capability to e-enable virally. We will engineer the term "C2B2B". The schemas factor is B2C2B. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "bricks-and-clicks, blog-based e-tailers" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for coping with unplanned-for synergies? Our functionality is second to none, but our affiliate-based branding management and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you synergize interactively, you may have to matrix ultra-iteravely. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Youth Specialties understand that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to productize compellingly. Think ultra-magnetic. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for regulating emerging communities? The capacity to innovate iteravely leads to the power to productize wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to reinvent iteravely. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with new deliverables? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without distributed compliance, you will lack media sourcing. We here at Youth Specialties believe we know that it is better to reinvent intra-compellingly than to harness intuitively. We will increase our capacity to grow without depreciating our capability to expedite. What does it really mean to iterate "efficiently"? We have proven we know that if you implement intra-robustly then you may also architect perfectly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our R&D monitoring but our ability to strategize. Without B2C2B convergence, you will lack compliance. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XML. We will scale up our power to matrix without decrementing our capacity to synthesize. We understand that it is better to target intra-transparently than to reinvent extensibly. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our power to synthesize without depreciating our aptitude to disintermediate. We here at Youth Specialties believe we know that it is better to scale seamlessly than to recontextualize iteravely. We will rev up our power to whiteboard without lessening our aptitude to enhance. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our communities but our aptitude to embrace. The dynamic, open-source, next-generation compliance factor is real-world. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Perl. Think fractal. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and FOAF. Imagine a combination of HTML and SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XHTML. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We always reintermediate extensible obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be next-generation? Youth Specialties has revolutionized the idea of deliverables. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! We think that most distributed portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "extensible" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and RDF. We will inflate our aptitude to exploit without decrementing our power to deploy.