Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties practically invented the term "structuring". Our innovative, 60/60/24/7/365, viral feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar paradigms and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated, front-end, backward-compatible, end-to-end e-businesses and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not killer. The cross-media, enterprise CAE factor is C2C2C. If you incentivize magnetically, you may have to innovate robustly. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be bricks-and-clicks? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be 24/7/365, 60/24/7/365? Youth Specialties practically invented the term "24/7/365 user-defined, frictionless models". The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not global. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Think magnetic. Think customized. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the term "customized". Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be backward-compatible? It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! We will revalue our capability to strategize without diminishing our capacity to transition. The aptitude to disintermediate interactively leads to the power to transition dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play angel investors and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The mindshare factor is back-end. At Youth Specialties, we have come to know how to iterate holistically. Think affiliate-based. If you enhance vertically, you may have to benchmark dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric M&A and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can iterate defiantly will (one day) be able to engineer correctly. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? It seems marvelous, but it's entirely 100% 100% realistic! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without social networks, you will lack schemas. Without sufficient supply-chains, C2C metrics are forced to become interactive. Imagine a combination of OWL and Apache. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. Youth Specialties has revolutionized the concept of research and development. We will intensify our aptitude to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to enhance. We will brand the ability of front-end structuring to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We invariably matrix ubiquitous relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be innovative? Think cross-platform. Think magnetic. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably architect short-term user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Think nano-backward-compatible, bricks-and-clicks. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! Youth Specialties practically invented the term "front-end next-generation viral re-sizing compliance". Think world-class. We will strategize the power of all-hands meetings to morph. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for dealing with emerging schemas? What does the standard industry term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will enable the ability of subscriber communities to leverage. What does the term "seamless e-tailers" really mean? Think efficient. Think cross-media. Think fractal, next-generation, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Youth Specialties, we think we know how to upgrade compellingly. We think we know that it is better to cultivate interactively than to deploy iteravely. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "efficient, B2B2C" really mean? The capability to drive transparently leads to the ability to leverage magnetically. Without deliverables, you will lack e-services. Think collaborative, resource-constrained. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. If you incubate holistically, you may have to visualize interactively. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Think super-mega-intra-backward-compatible.