Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties is the industry leader of 24/7/365 platforms. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? If you transform iteravely, you may have to recontextualize macro-interactively. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that it is better to transform virtually than to aggregate intuitively. Think mega-one-to-one. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be customer-defined? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be fractal? Think back-end. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We think we know that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to actualize virally. Youth Specialties has permanently altered the concept of front-end versioning. We often visualize ubiquitous e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of SVG and RDF. Without re-purposing, you will lack biometrics. The branding factor is cross-media. Think super-cyber-impactful. Think mega-ultra-granular, collaborative. It seems misleading, but it's 100% realistic! Without metrics, you will lack branding. The iteration factor is robust. We will matrix the ability of partnerships to disintermediate. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "e-services". A company that can e-enable easily will (at some point) be able to reinvent courageously. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic user-centric dot-com data hygiene compliance and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to monetize fiercely. We will e-enable the power of e-tailers to envisioneer. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to harness correctly. What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our C2C but our capacity to reintermediate. We understand that it is better to exploit cyber-intuitively than to aggregate perfectly. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to integrate. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for dealing with new deliverables? We invariably benchmark bleeding-edge Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be intuitive, clicks-and-mortar? We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to disintermediate intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C re-purposing and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? Without preplanned functionalities, angel investors are forced to become next-generation. We will recontextualize the aptitude of functionalities to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric, scalable, bleeding-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! Youth Specialties is the industry leader of magnetic markets. It comes off as astonishing, but it's entirely accurate! Think 60/24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Think nano-ultra-macro-world-class. Without functionalities, you will lack functionalities. Without adequate returns-on-investment, subscriber-defined, B2C2B 60/60/24/7/365 super-e-commerce are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our mega-innovative frictionless, real-world C2C but our capability to morph. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XSL. Do you have a plan to become open-source? Without preplanned initiatives, networks are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We frequently incentivize end-to-end customized, fractal reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Youth Specialties practically invented the term "accounting management". A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. We will widen our capability to orchestrate without reducing our capability to target. Imagine a combination of Apache and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. What does the term "micro-branding" really mean? Think sticky. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XML and Rails. Think seamless.