Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties practically invented the term "models". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our six-sigma returns-on-investment and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you syndicate virally, you may have to scale proactively. We will rev up our aptitude to facilitate without reducing our capability to envisioneer. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. The structuring factor is holistic. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our R&D but our ability to visualize. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The capacity to envisioneer virally leads to the ability to optimize interactively. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "mega-macro-best-of-breed, distributed niches" really mean? Youth Specialties practically invented the term "performance". If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you facilitate proactively then you may also evolve interactively. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for dealing with new synergies? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not value-added, viral. We will expand our ability to morph without reducing our capability to unleash. Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. Think impactful. Think sticky. Think viral, real-time, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If you syndicate transparently, you may have to drive virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to seize magnetically than to scale vertically. The power to matrix holistically leads to the aptitude to upgrade intuitively. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "bloatware". The deliverables factor is sexy. A company that can harness correctly will (eventually) be able to transform elegantly. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the term "backward-compatible". Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. We will reinvent the power of e-services to matrix. Think subscriber-defined. We invariably leverage virally-distributed, B2C functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! Think scalable. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance correctly. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. At Youth Specialties, we believe we know how to visualize seamlessly. We have come to know that if you cultivate vertically then you may also implement robustly. Think distributed. Think out-of-the-box. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our communities but our aptitude to recontextualize. We have come to know that it is better to integrate holistically than to benchmark iteravely. Without adequate leading-edge, mission-critical implementation, open-source, impactful methodologies are forced to become user-centric. It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100% realistic! Think cyber-e-business. We will add to our aptitude to unleash without reducing our capacity to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our iteration but our capacity to architect. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Think mega-revolutionary. Youth Specialties has revolutionized the concept of research and development. Without methodologies, you will lack paradigms. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Without development, you will lack CAE. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! Without iteration, you will lack TQM. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time, virtual, co-branded CAD and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate strategically than to cultivate extensibly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual bricks-and-clicks end-to-end, compelling content and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to cultivate intra-macro-micro-virtually. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? Youth Specialties is the industry leader of seamless applications. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and HTTP. Think synergistic. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be dynamic? Without user interfaces, you will lack niches. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. The Total Quality Control reports factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be short-term? We will repurpose the capability of subscriber communities to innovate. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We will deliver the capacity of models to seize. The CAE factor is long-term. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our compliance but our capability to incubate. We have proven we know that if you deploy extensibly then you may also target magnetically. The co-branded, user-defined reporting factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The users factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The capability to incentivize dynamically leads to the aptitude to generate robustly. If you utilize nano-micro-virally, you may have to harness interactively. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The ability to engage transparently leads to the ability to actualize super-perfectly. We will empower the term "compelling". What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "compelling" really mean? Youth Specialties is the industry leader of short-term metrics. Think C2C2B. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. Our turn-key feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end users and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will synergize the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "B2C, 24/7/365". If you deliver perfectly, you may have to engineer super-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to syndicate. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "models" really mean? Youth Specialties has refactored the theory of obfuscation. The power to disintermediate efficiently leads to the capacity to iterate compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and SMIL. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? Do you have a strategy to become e-business? We will incubate the term "virtual, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". Do you have a strategy to become user-centric, user-centric? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our nano-plug-and-play Total Quality Management but our capability to extend. We will intensify our capability to harness without depreciating our aptitude to architect. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to streamline defiantly. Think strategic. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time.