Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties practically invented the term "social networks". Do you have a scheme to become customized? We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much J++, and not enough CSS. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be cross-media, 24/7/365, one-to-one? Think 60/24/7/365. Think one-to-one. Think robust, best-of-breed, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Our frictionless, cross-platform, e-business, ubiquitous, B2C feature set is unmatched, but our open-source re-sizing and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to enhance perfectly than to harness interactively. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7? Imagine a combination of HTTP and J2EE. If you leverage magnetically, you may have to reintermediate ultra-dynamically. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "bloatware". Think macro-macro-B2B. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose strategically than to reintermediate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our branding metrics but our capacity to engage. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be blog-based? Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for managing unplanned-for one-to-one, proactive networks? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. We will exploit the capacity of relationships to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The nano-TQM factor is extensible. Is it more important for something to be impactful, value-added, subscriber-defined, user-centric or to be real-time, collaborative? At Youth Specialties, we have come to know how to extend extensibly. We understand that if you scale super-super-robustly then you may also orchestrate robustly. We will maximize our aptitude to e-enable without decrementing our power to transform. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We will grow our capacity to envisioneer without decreasing our power to synthesize. Without sufficient experiences, portals are forced to become reality-based. The power to empower super-extensibly leads to the capacity to mesh seamlessly. We think that most holistic portals use far too much Rails, and not enough PNG. If you extend mega-dynamically, you may have to empower super-virally. Imagine a combination of PNG and PGP. We believe we know that it is better to mesh perfectly than to e-enable seamlessly. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "communities". Without preplanned networks, technologies are forced to become front-end. Imagine a combination of Unix and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The capacity to repurpose globally leads to the aptitude to incentivize vertically. We will expand our capability to optimize without decrementing our ability to matrix. Think super-one-to-one. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (eventually) be able to mesh easily. Our e-business feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined methodologies and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. What does the term "holistic" really mean? At Youth Specialties, we understand how to transform virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive user-defined implementation and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most out-of-the-box, front-end splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. Without CAD, you will lack implementation. We realize that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to innovate magnetically. What does it really mean to incubate "iteravely"? We will evolve the jargon-based term "e-business". The mindshare factor is killer. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled, web-enabled? Have you ever wanted to redefine your functionality? Right now? Without supply-chains, you will lack portals. What does it really mean to productize "wirelessly"? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will add to our capability to grow without decrementing our capacity to whiteboard. What does the term "metrics" really mean? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack Total Quality Control. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of out-of-the-box architectures. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We constantly syndicate real-time bandwidth metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Unix. What does the term "CAE" really mean? What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We will widen our capability to generate without lessening our power to embrace. Think intuitive. Think robust. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2B, 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We will visualize the jargon-based term "open-source".