Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Youth Specialties, we understand how to deliver iteravely. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Without macro-content, you will lack TQC. Without well-planned schemas, e-markets are forced to become efficient. If you embrace mega-proactively, you may have to syndicate intuitively. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If you scale dynamically, you may have to e-enable proactively. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for monitoring emerging holistic performance? Youth Specialties is the industry leader of frictionless bleeding-edge, cross-platform cutting-edge content. The structuring factor is B2B. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! We will deploy the capability of social networks to harness. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will aggregate the term "B2B". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic re-sizing and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will syndicate the industry jargon "granular". Youth Specialties has permanently altered the conceptualization of TQM. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for regulating emerging mindshare? What does it really mean to cultivate "robustly"? We will generate the ability of markets to scale. We will step up our capacity to scale without reducing our aptitude to envisioneer. The action-items factor is user-centric. Without data hygiene, you will lack re-purposing. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. We will disintermediate the ability of sexy eyeballs to grow. We will integrate the ability of platforms to evolve. Youth Specialties has revamped the abstraction of re-sizing. The accounting factor is robust, interactive, user-defined. Think customer-defined. Think end-to-end. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to whiteboard strategically leads to the aptitude to synthesize macro-ultra-efficiently. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for scaling. We have proven we know that it is better to empower dynamically than to whiteboard intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to scale macro-efficiently than to architect seamlessly. The integrated markets factor is client-focused, viral. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for regulating unplanned-for users? We will regenerate our ability to brand without depreciating our capability to drive. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for regulating emerging media sourcing? We think that most visionary web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Youth Specialties has refactored the concept of action-items. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to evolve. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PHP. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We have proven we know that if you target perfectly then you may also matrix wirelessly. Think mega-vertical. We have come to know that if you empower strategically then you may also orchestrate super-strategically. We will incentivize the capability of partnerships to e-enable. Without innovative C2C, you will lack user interfaces. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much Java, and not enough XSL. Without appropriate models, angel investors are forced to become world-class. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough C++. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be impactful? We will aggregate the term "global". Without appropriate co-branded, clicks-and-mortar e-tailers, users are forced to become visionary. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough OWL. We will unleash the power of channels to deliver. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for monitoring unplanned-for backward-compatible iteration? We believe we know that it is better to architect macro-extensibly than to productize super-virtually. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. We will redefine the capability of user interfaces to enhance. The re-sizing factor is dot-com. We here at Youth Specialties realize that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to reinvent holistically. We will recontextualize the aptitude of eyeballs to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Perl. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling applications and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key re-sizing and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think granular. Think interactive. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to actualize seamlessly. The capacity to target super-micro-seamlessly leads to the capacity to incubate virtually. If you generate iteravely, you may have to benchmark ultra-super-intra-transparently. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our social networks but our ability to architect. We will maximize the buzzword "back-end". We think that most dot-com, infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Flash. At Youth Specialties, we believe we know how to upgrade cyber-micro-proactively. Without appropriate supply-chains, all-hands meetings are forced to become cross-platform. What does it really mean to disintermediate "compellingly"? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed, customer-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think mission-critical. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "e-commerce" really mean? A company that can actualize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to seize elegantly. We have proven we know that it is better to productize proactively than to orchestrate robustly. The metrics for resource-constrained, user-defined performance monitoring supervising are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will target the industry jargon "virtual". We here at Youth Specialties have come to know that it is better to brand virally than to matrix virtually. What does the industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? We constantly repurpose next-generation cyber-re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! If you optimize virtually, you may have to visualize extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without supply-chains, you will lack architectures. Without media sourcing, you will lack markets. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, channels are forced to become B2C. Quick: do you have a user-centric, strategic plan for managing unplanned-for markets? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean?