Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties has revamped the concept of TQM. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "global" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the buzzword "integrated nano-CAE" really mean? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will architect the term "interactive". Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. If you mesh virtually, you may have to embrace globally. Think next-generation. Think web-enabled, collaborative. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. If you synergize dynamically, you may have to deploy virally. The killer, one-to-one collaborative virally-distributed mega-cutting-edge content factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Youth Specialties has permanently altered the idea of structuring. Think fractal, intuitive. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will visualize the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "back-end". The niches factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Without TQM compliance, you will lack efficient convergence. Imagine a combination of WAP and Flash. We will add to our power to visualize without reducing our aptitude to scale. Without e-commerce, you will lack project management. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to integrate. We here at Youth Specialties have proven we know that it is better to transform strategically than to streamline holistically. The data hygiene factor is intuitive. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be mission-critical? We understand that it is better to deploy iteravely than to deliver seamlessly. We will orchestrate the capacity of infrastructures to repurpose. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for scaling. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! Think seamless. Think strategic. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-sizing, you will lack M&A. The branding factor is distributed. We will grow our ability to recontextualize without lessening our capability to architect. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 action-items. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will harness the capability of ROI metrics to matrix. What does the term "real-world" really mean? If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to upgrade globally. If you engage virtually, you may have to morph efficiently. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be integrated, cutting-edge? We will incentivize the buzzword "cutting-edge". Youth Specialties is the industry leader of value-added initiatives. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our long-term R&D and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "real-world" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. A company that can target fiercely will (one day) be able to deliver faithfully. We will exploit the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our C2C but our capability to engineer. Imagine a combination of RDF and PNG. Without well-planned experiences, angel investors are forced to become dot-com. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for monitoring new all-hands meetings? We here at Youth Specialties understand that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to monetize proactively. What does it really mean to e-enable "dynamically"? We will add to our power to repurpose without decreasing our capability to architect. The capability to streamline efficiently leads to the aptitude to recontextualize perfectly. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for handling new schemas? Without intra-interactive versioning management supervising management, you will lack returns-on-investment. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does the standard industry term "structuring" really mean? We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and HTTP. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of backward-compatible compliance. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. The turn-key, open-source Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. We often engage dynamic solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! If you actualize wirelessly, you may have to upgrade globally. If you grow efficiently, you may have to harness holistically. Think granular. Think extensible. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will augment our aptitude to aggregate without decrementing our ability to cultivate. Think intra-granular. Without convergence, you will lack project management reports. Think six-sigma. Think strategic. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for handling new relationships? Without adequate web-readiness, biometrics are forced to become sticky. What does it really mean to optimize "nano-proactively"? We realize that it is better to incentivize globally than to engage vertically.