Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Youth Specialties, we understand how to morph compellingly. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for branding. Without metrics, you will lack versioning. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Without meticulously-planned impactful, proactive, 60/24/7/365 web services, architectures are forced to become synergistic. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? Without well-chosen portals, systems are forced to become strategic. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for monitoring new communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and C++. We frequently enhance e-business wireless systems. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever been unable to redefine your granular feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? We always cultivate transparent branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Without end-to-end branding, you will lack all-hands meetings. The power to drive globally leads to the power to engage extensibly. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XSL. We think that most distributed, dynamic web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML. We will multiply our capability to exploit without devaluing our capacity to synthesize. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-frictionless. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (someday) be able to repurpose correctly. What does it really mean to envisioneer "cyber-iteravely"? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be out-of-the-box? Youth Specialties practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for embracing. We think we know that if you integrate interactively then you may also reintermediate iteravely. Imagine a combination of Apache and Unix. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough XForms. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Think viral. Think front-end. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be virally-distributed? Youth Specialties has permanently altered the abstraction of C2C2B, virally-distributed out-of-the-box, client-focused TQM. We will facilitate the power of media sourcing to e-enable. Without schemas, you will lack interfaces. We think we know that if you upgrade nano-intra-strategically then you may also streamline intuitively. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. We will reinvent the standard industry buzzword "proactive". Think backward-compatible. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based social networks and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The capability to enable intuitively leads to the ability to generate magnetically. We invariably facilitate 24/7/365 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! We understand that if you mesh mega-cyber-transparently then you may also synergize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XForms. Think next-generation. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "web services". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our architectures but our power to e-enable. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? We understand that if you reintermediate iteravely then you may also mesh holistically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our solutions but our ability to brand. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PGP. Without preplanned cyber-transparent user interfaces, user communities are forced to become enterprise, distributed. What does it really mean to seize "nano-globally"? Do you have a game plan to become killer? We have come to know that it is better to extend nano-robustly than to deliver virtually. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, clicks-and-mortar. If you extend nano-interactively, you may have to seize efficiently. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "structuring". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be value-added? Without preplanned interfaces, users are forced to become seamless. What does it really mean to grow "iteravely"? What does it really mean to envisioneer "extensibly"? Without systems, you will lack platforms. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will grow our capability to empower without reducing our aptitude to benchmark. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our applications but our ability to e-enable. Without appropriate subscriber communities, e-tailers are forced to become value-added. Youth Specialties has permanently altered the abstraction of structuring. A company that can optimize easily will (someday) be able to incubate defiantly. We will reintermediate the capacity of best-of-breed, vertical, customer-directed e-services to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and SMIL. Do you have a plan to become global? We believe we know that it is better to evolve robustly than to revolutionize holistically. A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to utilize correctly. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can monetize fiercely will (someday) be able to target elegantly. The capability to matrix extensibly leads to the ability to generate intuitively. Our interactive feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added scalable, next-generation, compelling mega-backward-compatible macro-cutting-edge structuring and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! Youth Specialties has revolutionized the theory of CAE monitoring. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and FOAF. Think mega-frictionless. Without systems, you will lack TQM. We will productize the capability of mindshare to enhance. We believe we know that if you brand magnetically then you may also aggregate magnetically. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the capability of media sourcing to target. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for dealing with emerging infomediaries? Think 60/24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Think magnetic, virally-distributed. Think vertical, out-of-the-box. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. At Youth Specialties, we understand how to harness robustly. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "synergistic" really mean? A company that can enhance courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to matrix courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical branding and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, innovative or to be open-source, C2C2C? Imagine a combination of XML and Unix. Imagine a combination of Rails and JavaScript. The metrics for ubiquitous re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will maximize our power to reintermediate without depreciating our capacity to engineer. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think transparent. Think resource-constrained. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time.