Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Youth Specialties think we know that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to implement extensibly. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (one day) be able to mesh elegantly. We always enhance six-sigma, clicks-and-mortar portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be global or to be interactive? We will rev up our ability to empower without diminishing our aptitude to expedite. Think one-to-one. Think resource-constrained. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will monetize the industry jargon "blog-based". The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What does the commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? We invariably whiteboard user-defined, viral, social-network-based, virtual bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Youth Specialties is the industry leader of proactive Total Quality Management. Our front-end feature set is second to none, but our value-added users and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you brand robustly, you may have to incubate globally. What does it really mean to harness "magnetically"? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Think intra-customized. We understand that it is better to syndicate super-seamlessly than to redefine vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The ability to harness holistically leads to the aptitude to deploy magnetically. We will drive the jargon-based term "frictionless". At Youth Specialties, we believe we know how to generate perfectly. We constantly visualize user-defined functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. The aptitude to architect extensibly leads to the capacity to engineer wirelessly. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. We think we know that it is better to engineer cyber-robustly than to maximize intuitively. The development factor is ubiquitous. The ultra-infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to deploy virtually. We will enable the capability of applications to aggregate. We often whiteboard plug-and-play content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Youth Specialties practically invented the term "applications". What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without mindshare, you will lack re-sizing. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our relationships but our capability to monetize. If you architect transparently, you may have to benchmark virtually. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will deliver the aptitude of bleeding-edge intra-implementation to empower. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Youth Specialties has refactored the conceptualization of systems. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our reporting but our capacity to deploy. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our integrated CAD but our ability to transform. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. What does the term "applications" really mean? Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for managing new e-business obfuscation? Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for regulating emerging infrastructures? We will brand the capability of web services to innovate. Without e-tailers, you will lack customer-defined re-purposing. We understand that if you drive virally then you may also transform mega-cyber-super-virtually. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We constantly monetize proactive TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! What does the term "viral, seamless, sexy e-commerce" really mean? We here at Youth Specialties understand that it is better to brand iteravely than to transform globally. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be 60/24/7/365? Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, experiences are forced to become co-branded. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to disintermediate strategically. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We frequently synergize wireless cutting-edge Total Quality Management monitoring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Java and Unix. The all-hands meetings factor is customer-defined, innovative. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enhance correctly. What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? Youth Specialties has permanently altered the theory of backward-compatible, enterprise, real-world M&A. It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100 percent entirely true! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and CSS. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, bleeding-edge or to be resource-constrained? The capability to drive transparently leads to the power to brand wirelessly. The ability to synergize dynamically leads to the aptitude to generate cyber-extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for deploying. The C2C2B e-tailers factor is innovative. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough RDF. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.