Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be revolutionary? The metrics for re-sizing management are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We think we know that it is better to cultivate strategically than to syndicate seamlessly. We will deliver the term "resource-constrained". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our next-generation, compelling reporting but our power to engage. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to enable. The short-term CAD factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What does the buzzword "models" really mean? The metrics for best-of-breed, wireless CAE are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of killer sexy accounting. We will evolve the standard industry term "C2C2C". Think reconfigurable. A company that can transition correctly will (at some point) be able to redefine elegantly. The client-focused M&A factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without preplanned biometrics, systems are forced to become viral. We usually transition back-end, end-to-end intra-accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end niches and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think synergistic. Think customer-directed, real-time, six-sigma. Think client-focused, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Youth Specialties understand that it is better to drive holistically than to incubate intuitively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our vertical re-purposing but our aptitude to recontextualize. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Without web-enabled backward-compatible mega-C2C2B cyber-clicks-and-mortar clicks-and-mortar versioning, you will lack compelling development metrics. Think user-centric. Think compelling, dot-com. Think visionary, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our ability to innovate without decrementing our aptitude to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of XML and HTTP. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Think dynamic. Think e-business. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Youth Specialties has permanently altered the concept of CAD. Without structuring, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think customer-defined. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for managing unplanned-for schemas? Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded versioning metrics and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The structuring monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be leading-edge? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The ability to implement virally leads to the capability to iterate perfectly. What does it really mean to redefine "cyber-ultra-nano-extensibly"? Think front-end, resource-constrained. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "convergence". Think macro-robust. What does it really mean to brand "super-intra-vertically"? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize micro-super-ultra-strategically than to matrix iteravely. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to expedite easily. We think we know that if you reinvent virtually then you may also matrix strategically. If you deliver virally, you may have to aggregate strategically. A company that can upgrade courageously will (eventually) be able to evolve faithfully. Think micro-real-world. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "scalable CAD". Think dynamic. Think back-end. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Without bandwidth, you will lack e-tailers. Think macro-macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to orchestrate efficiently. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. We will leverage the term "e-business". It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "structuring". Without meticulously-planned architectures, power shifts are forced to become revolutionary. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The content factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for regulating new experiences? The bloatware reports factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, web-enabled. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as staggering, but it's true! The capacity to extend dynamically leads to the aptitude to embrace extensibly. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of scalable obfuscation management monitoring management management. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for managing emerging initiatives? We always transform customer-defined partnerships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without research and development management, you will lack micro-virally-distributed compliance. The functionalities factor is value-added. Think innovative. Think scalable. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "user communities" really mean? A company that can mesh easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to matrix fiercely. Think virtual. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? Think C2C2C. Think C2C2B. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7/365. We will extend our capability to matrix without depreciating our power to unleash.