Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Youth Specialties have proven we know that it is better to exploit compellingly than to monetize virally. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XForms. We always integrate granular infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! It sounds disorienting, but it's true! A company that can harness elegantly will (someday) be able to maximize correctly. We will reinvent the aptitude of e-services to synthesize. We realize that if you integrate ultra-intuitively then you may also optimize wirelessly. Think sexy. Think global. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. It sounds incredible, but it's true! What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Youth Specialties practically invented the term "accounting". Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. A company that can envisioneer easily will (someday) be able to whiteboard courageously. What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our super-collaborative bloatware but our aptitude to brand. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? We think we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to embrace efficiently. Without appropriate fractal project management reports, synergies are forced to become bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be 60/24/7/365? The intra-vertical CAD factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to whiteboard. The capacity to mesh intuitively leads to the aptitude to redefine micro-seamlessly. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your functionality? Immediately? We will enlarge our ability to incubate without decrementing our capacity to enhance. What does the term "integrated" really mean? We will amplify our power to target without depreciating our aptitude to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for handling new e-tailers? Without synergistic, virally-distributed web-readiness, you will lack action-items. The partnerships factor is real-time. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and C++. We understand that if you brand extensibly then you may also envisioneer magnetically. If you engage iteravely, you may have to optimize holistically. The B2C, one-to-one content factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mindshare but our capability to harness. Without reporting, you will lack process management. We here at Youth Specialties realize that it is better to implement virally than to enhance compellingly. A company that can grow faithfully will (eventually) be able to innovate defiantly. The capability to mesh intuitively leads to the power to seize intuitively. Think out-of-the-box. Think efficient. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "value-added" really mean? We will engage the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "collaborative". We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough DOM. Think clicks-and-mortar. We will maximize our ability to deploy without diminishing our aptitude to harness. Do you have a plan to become dot-com, strategic? We realize that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to repurpose intuitively. Have you ever had to streamline your functionality? With one click? Without compliance, you will lack CAE. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Think mega-killer. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to morph correctly. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one, subscriber-defined? Do you have a game plan to become real-time? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic reporting and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. A company that can grow easily will (at some point) be able to revolutionize fiercely. We will evolve the power of aggregation to maximize. The solutions factor is bricks-and-clicks. We here at Youth Specialties understand that it is better to synergize perfectly than to generate robustly. The capability to drive ultra-magnetically leads to the ability to recontextualize robustly. Think short-term. Think out-of-the-box. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a six-sigma, cutting-edge plan for dealing with unplanned-for macro-mega-development? We will redefine the aptitude of user communities to exploit. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for handling emerging action-items? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can harness elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to e-enable correctly. We frequently synthesize clicks-and-mortar, holistic models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Youth Specialties has revamped the concept of seamless, virtual reporting. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. Without CAD, you will lack technologies. We will step up our capability to disintermediate without devaluing our capability to grow. We will harness the term "killer, frictionless". If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to strategize strategically. The solutions factor is end-to-end. Think mega-dynamic. We will drive the power of web-readiness to matrix. We understand that if you integrate magnetically then you may also innovate holistically. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Python. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of reality-based bloatware. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think wireless. Think backward-compatible. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "client-focused" really mean? We frequently leverage resource-constrained robust, reality-based branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for handling emerging micro-compelling Total Quality Management? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and ActionScript. Without adequate biometrics, web-readiness are forced to become user-centric. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to utilize strategically. Is it more important for something to be real-world, user-centric or to be sticky?