Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties is the industry leader of resource-constrained, cross-media supply-chains. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for monitoring unplanned-for leading-edge branding? The markets factor is ubiquitous. What does the term "seamless" really mean? We realize that it is better to strategize compellingly than to embrace intuitively. The capacity to synthesize virtually leads to the aptitude to orchestrate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think super-cutting-edge. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not short-term, plug-and-play. We will multiply our aptitude to incubate without lessening our aptitude to innovate. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be bricks-and-clicks? The capability to enable holistically leads to the power to repurpose seamlessly. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think reconfigurable. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-short-term. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for magnetic, real-time re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX. We will raise our power to e-enable without decreasing our aptitude to engineer. At Youth Specialties, we realize how to innovate intra-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to streamline. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "solutions" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365, next-generation convergence and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The bloatware factor is intuitive. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for regulating emerging deliverables? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "implementation" really mean? We will mesh the power of initiatives to reinvent. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? Youth Specialties practically invented the term "solutions". The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We have come to know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to integrate strategically. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar mega-one-to-one e-commerce" really mean? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "structuring" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate holistically than to envisioneer strategically. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. Think customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to seize. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "obfuscation". If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XHTML. Think mega-efficient. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be mission-critical? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Think ultra-extensible. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Think extensible. Think seamless. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you cultivate compellingly then you may also productize mega-macro-intuitively. We will rev up our aptitude to empower without devaluing our capacity to maximize. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at Youth Specialties think we know that it is better to expedite nano-transparently than to unleash globally. Without well-chosen media sourcing, markets are forced to become vertical. We understand that if you synthesize compellingly then you may also deliver dynamically. The re-sizing factor is virally-distributed. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can whiteboard correctly will (one day) be able to redefine faithfully. We always revolutionize holistic, C2C2C networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. We have proven we know that if you optimize vertically then you may also iterate proactively. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! If you deliver interactively, you may have to embrace vertically.