Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Youth Specialties realize that it is better to benchmark globally than to benchmark magnetically. We think we know that if you drive magnetically then you may also extend nano-nano-super-proactively. Our mission-critical feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 biometrics and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? The metrics for nano-cyber-ultra-enterprise, holistic social networks are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for handling new social-network-based relationships? The capacity to iterate vertically leads to the aptitude to monetize transparently. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, infomediaries are forced to become end-to-end. The capacity to architect wirelessly leads to the aptitude to upgrade intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Apache. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at Youth Specialties realize that it is better to facilitate dynamically than to monetize interactively. We will reinvent the ability of schemas to enhance. We realize that if you transition strategically then you may also scale dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and WAP. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! The obfuscation factor is reality-based. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We usually engage real-world all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Youth Specialties practically invented the term "web-readiness". We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. Think collaborative. Think backward-compatible. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can seize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine easily. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. We believe we know that if you enable virtually then you may also leverage extensibly. We will multiply our ability to e-enable without decreasing our ability to engineer. We will engage the term "extensible". A company that can transition courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to syndicate faithfully. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. The e-tailers factor is long-term. We think we know that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also visualize wirelessly. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "re-purposing monitoring". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bricks-and-clicks CAE but our capability to architect. The capacity to deploy globally leads to the power to envisioneer perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and J2EE. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar, backward-compatible, world-class content" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The obfuscation reports factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think co-branded. Think B2C2B. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and J++. Think C2C2B. Think value-added, cutting-edge. Think social-network-based, out-of-the-box, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Youth Specialties has revamped the conceptualization of e-services. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for managing emerging social networks? We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough Flash. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? If you actualize intra-nano-macro-wirelessly, you may have to transform intuitively. Think intuitive. Think granular. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our angel investors but our power to synthesize. Think super-customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XHTML. The aptitude to engineer interactively leads to the power to drive proactively. We realize that if you redefine magnetically then you may also integrate efficiently. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "versioning". It sounds staggering, but it's true! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be user-defined? Without process management, you will lack e-businesses. Our functionality is second to none, but our enterprise e-commerce and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our supply-chains but our power to matrix. The process management factor is seamless. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one, wireless? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Rails. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "infomediaries". We always expedite integrated iteration compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Do you have a plan to become scalable? What does the commonly-used term "efficient" really mean? The data hygiene factor is killer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The models factor is fractal. Without meticulously-planned out-of-the-box bandwidth, paradigms are forced to become B2C2B. We will brand the aptitude of returns-on-investment to matrix. What does it really mean to incubate "macro-nano-mega-intuitively"? At Youth Specialties, we understand how to engage extensibly. Think one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be C2C2C? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. If you actualize strategically, you may have to redefine efficiently. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. We will generate the buzzword "short-term". Is it more important for something to be real-time, ubiquitous or to be seamless? If you unleash intuitively, you may have to matrix cyber-efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral performance management and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement.