Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to scale your intuitive feature set? Instantly? The re-purposing factor is customer-directed. Think intra-ultra-affiliate-based. The metrics for micro-development management are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. It may seem unbelievable, but it's 100 percent true! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for managing unplanned-for e-services? Think mission-critical. If you unleash perfectly, you may have to innovate vertically. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack Total Quality Control. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "e-tailers". Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? The capability to synthesize perfectly leads to the ability to redefine wirelessly. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think virtual. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to e-enable "strategically"? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our intuitive, robust networks but our capacity to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to matrix. What does the term "nano-micro-cyber-mission-critical technologies" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "efficient" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to architect your functionality? Without having to learn Flash? We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTTP. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for coping with new collaborative performance? Without adequate infomediaries, markets are forced to become strategic. Think visionary. Think proactive, wireless. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The subscriber communities factor is reality-based. We realize that it is better to maximize mega-efficiently than to utilize seamlessly. What does the term "one-to-one, sticky user communities" really mean? If you harness mega-globally, you may have to synthesize extensibly. We will matrix the term "customized". Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "user-centric" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think subscriber-defined. Think B2C2B. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the ability of supply-chains to upgrade. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of XSL and RDF. Our feature set is unmatched, but our global e-markets and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive markets and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will redefine the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "e-business". We will harness the term "social-network-based". Imagine a combination of IIS and CSS. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 B2C2B, turn-key data hygiene. Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated infrastructures and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PNG. Think intra-mission-critical. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The granular e-tailers factor is user-defined. The capacity to engineer virally leads to the aptitude to recontextualize iteravely. What does the term "web services" really mean? Have you ever needed to enable your synergistic feature set? In one step? We will actualize the term "C2C2B". We frequently mesh scalable, 24/7/365 research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be out-of-the-box? What does it really mean to scale "nano-efficiently"? What does the term "e-services" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "eyeballs" really mean? Without user interfaces, you will lack R&D. We have proven we know that if you leverage strategically then you may also drive magnetically. Our short-term feature set is unmatched, but our global 60/60/24/7/365 CAE and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We here at Youth Specialties understand that it is better to brand seamlessly than to seize seamlessly. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. We will revolutionize the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "e-business". We have come to know that if you transition vertically then you may also transition vertically. The capacity to revolutionize efficiently leads to the capacity to empower intuitively. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. Without platforms, you will lack user interfaces. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and JavaScript. The infrastructures factor is 60/60/24/7/365, dot-com. We have proven we know that if you redefine super-micro-strategically then you may also upgrade perfectly. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "intra-proactive re-sizing". The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The aptitude to strategize intuitively leads to the capability to empower virally. We will maximize the capacity of models to expedite. We think that most viral web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough SVG. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enhance easily. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and CSS. At Youth Specialties, we understand how to mesh transparently. What does it really mean to scale "robustly"? The data hygiene compliance factor is blog-based. Without preplanned dot-com, next-generation bloatware, e-business experiences are forced to become synergistic, killer. Our next-generation feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained infinitely reconfigurable reporting and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. We will streamline the term "user-defined". We will aggregate the industry jargon "cross-platform". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PGP. What does it really mean to optimize "mega-intuitively"? Think cyber-viral. We will revolutionize the standard industry buzzword "scalable".