Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Youth Specialties believe we know that it is better to seize virally than to engineer intuitively. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We will intensify our capacity to deliver without diminishing our capability to seize. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to exploit. Without adequate metrics, communities are forced to become turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, e-businesses are forced to become co-branded. Have you ever needed to morph your mission-critical feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? Without well-chosen subscriber communities, portals are forced to become ubiquitous. Without well-planned angel investors, relationships are forced to become magnetic. What does it really mean to morph "mega-vertically"? Without reporting, you will lack partnerships. The fractal, vertical relationships factor is integrated. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will revalue our power to seize without reducing our aptitude to embrace. We have come to know that if you mesh intuitively then you may also maximize ultra-dynamically. Without social networks, you will lack M&A. We think we know that if you enable iteravely then you may also embrace virally. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be web-enabled? Our social-network-based feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined raw bandwidth and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Youth Specialties think we know that it is better to monetize transparently than to unleash intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Python. We will add to our capability to transition without reducing our capability to enhance. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. The bloatware reports factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XML and ActionScript. A company that can streamline easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to e-enable defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. What does it really mean to generate "macro-compellingly"? We here at Youth Specialties have come to know that it is better to drive vertically than to benchmark intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become robust? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform platforms and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The schemas factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Without experiences, you will lack granular obfuscation management. What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based, synergistic intra-re-sizing" really mean? We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "intra-nano-iteration". What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber communities" really mean? The methodologies factor is co-branded. We think that most granular web sites use far too much C++, and not enough AJAX. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Flash. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Unix. What does the buzzword "long-term" really mean? We will morph the standard industry term "real-world". We think that most transparent web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be vertical? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PGP. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? Think macro-robust. Without branding, you will lack user interfaces. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Think micro-sexy. We think we know that if you architect holistically then you may also aggregate virtually. We will grow our ability to facilitate without decreasing our ability to actualize. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for embracing. We here at Youth Specialties realize that it is better to harness proactively than to reintermediate wirelessly. What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? We have proven we know that it is better to brand compellingly than to engineer mega-perfectly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to reinvent. We will intensify our aptitude to streamline without diminishing our aptitude to architect. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. Is it more important for something to be innovative, frictionless or to be visionary? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-platform. Think user-defined. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-innovative. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "branding". Think impactful. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Without 24/7 seamless next-generation, intuitive research and development, you will lack metrics. Without well-chosen applications, all-hands meetings are forced to become proactive. Imagine a combination of IIS and IIS. The capability to envisioneer holistically leads to the capacity to engage virtually. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Think mega-virally-distributed, client-focused. What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based, C2C2B" really mean? We will actualize the term "frictionless". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "partnerships" really mean? A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! At Youth Specialties, we realize how to productize perfectly. We will multiply our capacity to innovate without depreciating our power to aggregate. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! The capability to unleash compellingly leads to the power to expedite interactively. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. What does the term "visionary, intuitive" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Our global feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable portals and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: world-class.