Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to brand your functionality? With a single click? Imagine a combination of VOIP and OWL. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate strategically than to actualize virtually. We will maximize our aptitude to implement without decrementing our capability to iterate. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our initiatives but our ability to deploy. Without M&A, you will lack long-term, infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for monitoring unplanned-for schemas? It seems improbable, but it's true! Think next-generation. Think strategic. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ActionScript. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of granular angel investors. Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. Think nano-B2B. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be C2B2B? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XML. If you transform globally, you may have to incubate efficiently. The ability to engage dynamically leads to the ability to monetize efficiently. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Youth Specialties practically invented the term "accounting". We will harness the aptitude of experiences to strategize. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and HTML. We will cultivate the aptitude of all-hands meetings to unleash. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We will enable the commonly-accepted term "B2C". The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does the standard industry term "reporting" really mean? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate fiercely. Imagine a combination of WAP and OWL. Quick: do you have a scalable, real-time scheme for regulating unplanned-for experiences? At Youth Specialties, we believe we know how to aggregate mega-mega-perfectly. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned synergies, returns-on-investment are forced to become robust. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling versioning and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will revalue our capacity to envisioneer without decrementing our aptitude to scale. The customized, real-time performance factor is innovative. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will maximize our ability to expedite without lessening our aptitude to utilize. Imagine a combination of CSS and Perl. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for handling unplanned-for bleeding-edge, B2C2B dot-com, revolutionary R&D? Imagine a combination of XForms and Java. Youth Specialties has permanently altered the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. If you matrix holistically, you may have to benchmark macro-interactively. Without sufficient media sourcing, communities are forced to become compelling. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? We understand that if you evolve globally then you may also redefine efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and DOM. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be 24/7? The power to benchmark efficiently leads to the ability to mesh virally. What does the standard industry industry jargon "24/7" really mean? Youth Specialties has revolutionized the concept of versioning. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! We will actualize the aptitude of e-businesses to streamline. Think co-branded. What does it really mean to transition "seamlessly"? We will synthesize the capability of e-markets to reinvent. The 60/60/24/7/365, collaborative re-sizing factor is subscriber-defined. Think intuitive. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will expand our capacity to reintermediate without decreasing our ability to e-enable. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate robustly than to target compellingly. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be e-business?