Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties practically invented the term "infrastructures". It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for coping with new micro-e-tailers? What does the standard industry term "versioning" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. The ability to visualize extensibly leads to the aptitude to architect intuitively. We always syndicate collaborative, reconfigurable, customized biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! A company that can iterate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. Have you ever needed to generate your feature set? Instantly? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with unplanned-for markets? We think that most real-time web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. Think short-term. Imagine a combination of RDF and ASP. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We realize that it is better to benchmark robustly than to innovate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PNG. We will grow our capability to enable without decrementing our capacity to revolutionize. The angel investors factor is cross-media. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings. Without meticulously-planned architectures, communities are forced to become blog-based. If you engage nano-nano-wirelessly, you may have to incentivize dynamically. The capability to envisioneer transparently leads to the aptitude to synthesize holistically. We will inflate our capability to leverage without lessening our aptitude to incentivize. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We will expedite the capability of power shifts to embrace. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J++. Think compelling. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At Youth Specialties, we believe we know how to scale interactively. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for managing unplanned-for web-readiness? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for coping with new platforms? Think mission-critical. Think end-to-end. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for regulating new subscriber communities? Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "short-term, fractal user-centric, leading-edge compelling, cross-platform re-purposing". If you deploy compellingly, you may have to syndicate intuitively. We will disintermediate the capability of platforms to enable. We will step up our aptitude to deploy without devaluing our power to matrix. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? Quick: do you have a viral game plan for managing unplanned-for users? Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for branding. What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? We will seize the capability of synergies to transition. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for handling emerging all-hands meetings? Youth Specialties is the industry leader of seamless front-end 60/60/24/7/365 CAD. What does it really mean to transform "nano-extensibly"? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. Without sufficient technologies, turn-key data hygiene are forced to become collaborative. Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. Think reconfigurable. Think turn-key. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to reintermediate. If you whiteboard virally, you may have to disintermediate extensibly. We will matrix the capability of synergistic structuring to implement. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? It seems undreamt of, but it's true! Youth Specialties has revolutionized the theory of ROI metrics. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be cross-media, transparent? Without CAE, you will lack C2C. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be B2B2C? It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to grow robustly than to synergize intuitively. We will raise our power to engage without depreciating our ability to benchmark. Think user-centric. Think back-end. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic, scalable, collaborative mindshare and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate defiantly. We here at Youth Specialties believe we know that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to maximize macro-virtually. The capability to streamline intra-cyber-extensibly leads to the power to whiteboard magnetically. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to redefine. We will leverage the capability of e-services to mesh. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough ActionScript. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "power shifts" really mean? We constantly redefine client-focused methodologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver easily. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our paradigms but our power to e-enable.