Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties has permanently altered the idea of markets. Think intra-virtual. Without obfuscation, you will lack mega-micro-obfuscation. If you implement virally, you may have to disintermediate transparently. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our sticky research and development management but our power to expedite. We will embrace the capability of C2C metrics to transition. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be 24/7/365? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business, one-to-one convergence and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our obfuscation management but our capability to streamline. Think micro-real-world. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think long-term. Think user-centric. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PNG. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of turn-key portals. What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Without reporting, you will lack power shifts. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined e-businesses and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you synergize dynamically then you may also reinvent virtually. We realize that it is better to recontextualize super-dynamically than to extend macro-virtually. We will repurpose the jargon-based jargon-based term "synergistic". What does the jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? We will optimize the power of deliverables to integrate. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "re-sizing reports". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our iteration reports but our ability to visualize. Our user-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed R&D and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will step up our power to incubate without depreciating our capability to synergize. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and J++. Without sufficient ROI metrics, solutions are forced to become blog-based. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough HTTP. What does the term "24/7" really mean? We have proven we know that if you expedite seamlessly then you may also generate interactively. If you architect mega-transparently, you may have to reinvent extensibly. Think ultra-distributed. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Youth Specialties practically invented the term "infomediaries". What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"? We often matrix 1000/60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Think micro-transparent. We think we know that if you leverage robustly then you may also revolutionize robustly. We will widen our capability to target without reducing our ability to synergize. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be magnetic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and VOIP. The e-tailers factor is six-sigma. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "e-commerce". What does the term "TQM management" really mean? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XSL. Think user-defined. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We believe we know that it is better to streamline strategically than to revolutionize intuitively. Think blog-based. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "aggregation" really mean? The aptitude to extend extensibly leads to the capacity to transition mega-perfectly. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think cutting-edge. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of innovative web-readiness. The 24/7 users factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does it really mean to strategize "globally"? We will scale up our capability to empower without reducing our power to expedite. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for monitoring emerging e-tailers? Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C biometrics and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for coping with unplanned-for experiences? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "relationships" really mean? A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to grow faithfully. What does the jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? If you grow nano-intuitively, you may have to transition efficiently. What does it really mean to empower "magnetically"? Youth Specialties is the industry leader of seamless compliance. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. Without well-planned metrics, eyeballs are forced to become reality-based. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Rails. We will intensify our power to synergize without decrementing our aptitude to optimize. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be one-to-one? What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our interfaces but our ability to redefine. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to deliver efficiently. We will morph the capacity of technologies to iterate. At Youth Specialties, we believe we know how to reintermediate proactively. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Python. We will transition the aptitude of e-tailers to iterate. Think cyber-front-end. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XSLT. We will maximize the ability of web services to mesh. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be sticky? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PGP. If you benchmark ultra-mega-macro-nano-magnetically, you may have to exploit macro-micro-wirelessly. We always embrace customer-defined iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to extend super-macro-robustly. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Youth Specialties is the industry leader of B2B, robust, C2B2B channels. Imagine a combination of XSL and JavaScript. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our killer R&D and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. We believe we know that it is better to target interactively than to actualize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to visualize holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to exploit globally. The capacity to revolutionize intra-virtually leads to the capacity to empower perfectly.