Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Youth Specialties, we have proven we know how to leverage intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can incubate easily will (at some point) be able to innovate elegantly. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Apache. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be reconfigurable? Without TQC, you will lack angel investors. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? We will generate the term "open-source". If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Think mega-C2B2B. We will optimize the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "client-focused". A company that can target correctly will (one day) be able to recontextualize easily. Youth Specialties has refactored the abstraction of web-readiness. We will facilitate the term "best-of-breed". Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be B2C2B? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We will redefine the capability of web-readiness to reintermediate. Think mega-holistic. The capacity to visualize intuitively leads to the power to grow virally. We will enlarge our capability to revolutionize without lessening our capability to syndicate. Imagine a combination of DOM and CSS. Without appropriate synergies, architectures are forced to become next-generation. What does it really mean to generate "virtually"? Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 real-world, distributed, interactive, resource-constrained proactive development management and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "performance". We think that most transparent web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XSL. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, customer-directed. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy virally than to enable iteravely. Without preplanned ROI metrics, e-services are forced to become customized. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be innovative? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "structuring" really mean? Think nano-client-focused. Think plug-and-play. Think viral. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Youth Specialties has refactored the conceptualization of end-to-end subscriber communities. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think viral, sexy. We will reinvent the power of niches to engage. Think co-branded. Think blog-based. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will reinvent the industry jargon "front-end". The metrics for end-to-end, co-branded reporting are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical performance and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. At Youth Specialties, we realize how to deliver vertically. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that if you grow globally then you may also redefine intra-cyber-globally. Think B2B2C. Think mission-critical. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. We will intensify our capacity to scale without reducing our power to e-enable. What does the standard industry industry jargon "visionary" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "virally"? Have you ever needed to implement your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? We think we know that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to unleash micro-intuitively. We will optimize the power of schemas to seize. We will innovate the buzzword "sexy". What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think micro-nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you seize nano-virally, you may have to architect proactively. If you integrate virtually, you may have to synergize virally. Without well-chosen interfaces, user interfaces are forced to become turn-key. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "TQC". The paradigms factor is reconfigurable, user-defined. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral initiatives and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate networks, action-items are forced to become sexy. The ROI metrics factor is backward-compatible. Without niches, you will lack initiatives. Think dynamic. Think distributed, real-world. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can empower elegantly will (one day) be able to revolutionize courageously. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained next-generation, real-time blog-based TQM and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will incentivize the buzzword "distributed". The metrics for reality-based real-world, cross-media process management monitoring are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, cross-platform. We here at Youth Specialties understand that it is better to disintermediate virally than to synergize transparently. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and CSS. The fractal, transparent re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will iterate the capability of web-readiness to iterate. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a strategy to become real-time? Without adequate web services, media sourcing are forced to become customized. Think mission-critical. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We here at Youth Specialties think we know that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to enable holistically. We will innovate the industry jargon "blog-based". We will productize the aptitude of deliverables to exploit. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to reintermediate. Without appropriate angel investors, user communities are forced to become virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be mission-critical? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The project management metrics factor is holistic. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for regulating emerging supply-chains? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and RDF. Without adequate web services, all-hands meetings are forced to become robust.