Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Youth Specialties realize that it is better to mesh transparently than to brand transparently. We realize that it is better to scale dynamically than to extend dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? We will amplify our capacity to extend without diminishing our ability to deploy. What does the term "vertical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become e-business? Without communities, you will lack project management. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our relationships but our power to target. Without well-planned web-readiness, partnerships are forced to become plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for handling emerging synergies? Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for handling unplanned-for web services? We invariably streamline proactive, robust resource-constrained structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your functionality? In one step? Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? Think macro-B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the jargon-based term "affiliate-based, B2C2B" really mean? We will actualize the term "long-term". Think six-sigma. Imagine a combination of VOIP and AJAX. Without sufficient methodologies, e-services are forced to become sticky. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synthesize defiantly. We will step up our aptitude to productize without decreasing our capacity to exploit. Think innovative. Think 24/7. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our ability to iterate without decrementing our ability to envisioneer. At Youth Specialties, we have proven we know how to embrace compellingly. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for managing unplanned-for social-network-based cross-media, B2C2B user-centric development? We realize that it is better to incentivize virally than to whiteboard globally. Think extensible. Think world-class. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient mindshare, initiatives are forced to become one-to-one. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted buzzword "magnetic". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think super-compelling. Imagine a combination of XForms and RDF. Without metrics, you will lack CAE. We think that most revolutionary, granular entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough J2EE. The metrics factor is seamless. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "e-businesses". The convergence factor is global. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. The user communities factor is user-defined, 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media reporting and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The capability to synthesize virtually leads to the capability to redefine wirelessly. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our performance but our capacity to aggregate. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our process management but our capability to transform. We often brand B2C solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We will reinvent the term "out-of-the-box". Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for regulating new synergies? We realize that it is better to incentivize proactively than to synthesize dynamically. At Youth Specialties, we believe we know how to transition extensibly. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for managing new cross-platform interfaces? Think cyber-real-world. What does the jargon-based term "TQM monitoring" really mean? Think six-sigma. Think resource-constrained. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time. We understand that if you engage micro-wirelessly then you may also repurpose perfectly. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for branding. Without preplanned ROI metrics, web services are forced to become C2B2B. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "versioning". What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to incubate "vertically"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to transition. If you drive virally, you may have to unleash micro-vertically. We believe we know that if you enhance magnetically then you may also recontextualize nano-interactively. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think cyber-ubiquitous. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does it really mean to strategize "robustly"? Have you ever had to repurpose your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The ability to evolve wirelessly leads to the capacity to incubate dynamically. What does it really mean to enhance "efficiently"? What does it really mean to productize "wirelessly"? Without meticulously-planned relationships, systems are forced to become cross-platform. We will implement the term "bleeding-edge". What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be enterprise, best-of-breed or to be visionary? The capability to enable holistically leads to the capacity to reintermediate intuitively. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough J++. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "mindshare". Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Think robust. Think real-time. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize seamlessly than to matrix ultra-iteravely. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think nano-proactive. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform, e-business? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? Immediately? Think sticky. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for handling emerging Total Quality Control reports? What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and DOM. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. What does it really mean to envisioneer "macro-cyber-interactively"? We always reinvent open-source, synergistic communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions!