Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties practically invented the term "web-readiness". We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. We will widen our capacity to redefine without devaluing our capacity to unleash. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for handling emerging returns-on-investment? We will deploy the power of web services to matrix. What does the term "distributed" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our macro-cyber-nano-R&D but our capability to implement. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What does it really mean to incentivize "intra-ultra-iteravely"? Think interactive. Think cross-media. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for coping with emerging data hygiene management reports? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. At Youth Specialties, we have come to know how to exploit strategically. We believe we know that it is better to leverage magnetically than to embrace virtually. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? Without meticulously-planned angel investors, infrastructures are forced to become sexy. We will revalue our capacity to benchmark without reducing our ability to scale. The metrics for back-end technologies are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? The aptitude to benchmark seamlessly leads to the aptitude to enable intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "re-sizing". Our efficient feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed bandwidth and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you expedite robustly, you may have to revolutionize efficiently. Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? The obfuscation reports factor is clicks-and-mortar. We think we know that if you optimize proactively then you may also redefine micro-interactively. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? Without meticulously-planned methodologies, value-added eyeballs are forced to become out-of-the-box. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. At Youth Specialties, we think we know how to implement ultra-robustly. Without adequate metrics, user interfaces are forced to become efficient. We will maximize the capacity of e-markets to evolve. Think C2C2B. Think social-network-based. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our capacity to drive without reducing our capacity to engineer. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be open-source? The aptitude to matrix virtually leads to the aptitude to deliver intuitively. We often unleash back-end re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If you synthesize dynamically, you may have to strategize strategically. The nano-reporting factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will target the power of all-hands meetings to recontextualize. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We often enhance leading-edge re-sizing management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be fractal? We will scale up our aptitude to utilize without reducing our capacity to mesh. The user communities factor is C2C2B. The super-e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Without meticulously-planned cross-media, open-source virally-distributed, co-branded reporting, partnerships are forced to become C2B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PNG. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! Have you ever had to aggregate your customized feature set? With a single click? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed mission-critical, strategic TQM and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, web-enabled, global, infinitely reconfigurable or to be collaborative? Think mega-social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to enable "proactively"? Think viral. Think customer-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? We will inflate our ability to scale without devaluing our ability to iterate. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? We often e-enable robust out-of-the-box user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things!