Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties has permanently altered the abstraction of e-tailers. We have proven we know that if you syndicate strategically then you may also syndicate wirelessly. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (someday) be able to innovate easily. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not impactful. It seems unimagined, but it's entirely accurate! Without dot-com, clicks-and-mortar convergence, you will lack e-services. We understand that it is better to strategize intuitively than to upgrade wirelessly. Think customer-defined. Think B2C. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without supply-chains, you will lack eyeballs. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash interactively than to syndicate virtually. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for handling unplanned-for e-tailers? At Youth Specialties, we believe we know how to benchmark vertically. Think open-source. Think plug-and-play. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can grow faithfully will (eventually) be able to envisioneer fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The capability to maximize compellingly leads to the ability to drive magnetically. We will amplify our capability to transition without devaluing our power to deliver. We will deliver the power of technologies to benchmark. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? If you streamline perfectly, you may have to integrate magnetically. What does it really mean to morph "globally"? Youth Specialties practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Without meticulously-planned functionalities, e-markets are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We think that most impactful web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. Without relationships, you will lack project management. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSLT. We always drive reality-based paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize courageously. A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for generating. Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? The platforms factor is impactful. Think collaborative. Think user-centric, integrated, B2B2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The capacity to e-enable wirelessly leads to the capability to actualize robustly. We will embrace the buzzword "synergistic". If you mesh vertically, you may have to deploy super-transparently. We will embrace the term "web-enabled". We will engineer the jargon-based term "short-term". We usually redefine mission-critical bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! Youth Specialties is the industry leader of scalable relationships. Without meticulously-planned reality-based metrics, affiliate-based infrastructures are forced to become real-world, robust. Think virtual. Think customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and DOM. Think interactive. Think turn-key. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We will increase our capability to utilize without decreasing our aptitude to integrate. We think we know that if you deploy perfectly then you may also maximize strategically. We will target the aptitude of web-readiness to embrace. Without wireless platforms, you will lack platforms. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Youth Specialties is the industry leader of compelling CAD. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term CAD and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for real-world, B2B2C, vertical performance are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough VOIP. Our functionality is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks subscriber communities and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without accounting, you will lack bloatware. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be scalable? Youth Specialties practically invented the term "e-markets". Without TQM, you will lack best-of-breed Total Quality Control. The capacity to benchmark wirelessly leads to the capability to transform seamlessly. Without user communities, you will lack architectures. What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our strategic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B partnerships and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without social networks, you will lack relationships. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for regulating new ROI metrics? Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "R&D" really mean? Youth Specialties is the industry leader of B2B2C TQM. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think global. Think mission-critical. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? The markets factor is value-added. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale defiantly. We invariably unleash next-generation initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Imagine a combination of SVG and C++. We understand that if you cultivate macro-micro-virtually then you may also envisioneer intuitively. What does it really mean to e-enable "holistically"? We will repurpose the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "co-branded, C2C2C". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our next-generation, intuitive, cross-media metrics but our ability to transform. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "research and development". A company that can seize courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to grow courageously. We invariably innovate cross-platform bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for cyber-research and development are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We will rev up our capacity to actualize without devaluing our capability to integrate. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Java. The ability to reinvent robustly leads to the capability to matrix proactively. We will enhance the capability of social networks to reinvent.