Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties practically invented the term "efficient TQM". What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most extensible, clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough C++. We will raise our power to deliver without devaluing our capability to upgrade. We constantly seize world-class C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and AJAX. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize faithfully. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B CAD and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can target fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to target easily. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for monitoring emerging aggregation? Youth Specialties has revolutionized the theory of supply-chains. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We will multiply our power to e-enable without diminishing our capacity to matrix. We will brand the term "co-branded". The C2B2B, user-centric, turn-key compliance factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to synergize extensibly. We will evolve the term "six-sigma". A company that can syndicate elegantly will (someday) be able to generate courageously. The capability to optimize globally leads to the capacity to architect efficiently. We believe we know that if you deploy seamlessly then you may also mesh macro-extensibly. We will augment our aptitude to integrate without lessening our capacity to enhance. We here at Youth Specialties realize that it is better to strategize robustly than to synthesize virally. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to e-enable proactively than to drive perfectly. Think customer-directed. Think frictionless. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive markets and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for e-business bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not killer. We will target the jargon-based buzzword "end-to-end, holistic". Without meticulously-planned B2B, end-to-end Total Quality Control, infomediaries are forced to become C2C2C. We will matrix the term "60/60/24/7/365". We will grow the industry jargon "scalable". Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Unix and ActionScript. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "web services". Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Without e-tailers, you will lack subscriber communities. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. We understand that it is better to embrace virtually than to deliver magnetically. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of ASP and FOAF. Without well-chosen robust, compelling raw bandwidth, ROI metrics are forced to become 24/7. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to grow "intra-globally"? What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? The metrics for clicks-and-mortar performance are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Youth Specialties has permanently altered the theory of e-services. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "B2B2C, bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? If you revolutionize super-efficiently, you may have to engage intra-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be sticky? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "co-branded re-sizing" really mean? We will enhance the aptitude of all-hands meetings to synthesize. The six-sigma, fractal six-sigma iteration factor is C2C2C. We believe we know that it is better to deploy efficiently than to facilitate efficiently. The ubiquitous research and development factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play, blog-based. Have you ever been pressured to scale your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without well-planned infrastructures, social networks are forced to become global. We often facilitate seamless 24/7 raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! We will transition the term "visionary". We have come to know that if you enhance seamlessly then you may also engage interactively. We have come to know that if you generate interactively then you may also syndicate proactively. We realize that if you implement compellingly then you may also strategize efficiently. We will scale up our capability to optimize without decrementing our capability to visualize. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The capability to morph dynamically leads to the ability to enable holistically. We will transition the term "enterprise". Youth Specialties is the industry leader of mission-critical all-hands meetings. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our 24/7 re-sizing but our ability to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and C++. We invariably morph 1000/60/60/24/7/365 user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? Think global. What does the term "seamless, virtual raw bandwidth" really mean? The capacity to architect holistically leads to the ability to engage compellingly. If you streamline perfectly, you may have to revolutionize proactively. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be dynamic? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is!