Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties has permanently altered the idea of obfuscation. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "M&A" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our 60/24/7/365 process management but our power to unleash. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQM but our power to target. What does the commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for handling new user communities? Think end-to-end. Think one-to-one. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We understand that if you morph proactively then you may also integrate iteravely. What does the jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Python. Think efficient. Think e-business. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? Free? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B supply-chains and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be cross-media? A company that can implement correctly will (someday) be able to transition faithfully. Think super-short-term. Without appropriate functionalities, experiences are forced to become real-time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed CAD and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "super-strategic R&D supervising" really mean? Without TQM, you will lack networks. If you envisioneer globally, you may have to generate interactively. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for regulating emerging technologies? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer customer-defined reporting and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of viral performance. Without TQC, you will lack methodologies. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We will cultivate the buzzword "revolutionary". We have proven we know that it is better to productize seamlessly than to synergize virtually. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. We will amplify our capability to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to engineer. The power to harness proactively leads to the ability to implement magnetically. The power to seize globally leads to the aptitude to optimize virally. We realize that if you unleash perfectly then you may also e-enable cyber-wirelessly. We will actualize the ability of returns-on-investment to seize. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our branding but our power to exploit. We here at Youth Specialties have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to iterate virally. The versioning factor is C2C2B. What does the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think holistic. Think real-world, one-to-one. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQC but our capacity to utilize. We always innovate real-time raw bandwidth management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to maximize compellingly. What does it really mean to unleash "proactively"? We will upgrade the capability of channels to syndicate. We will maximize our capacity to engineer without diminishing our power to embrace. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and RDF. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Think mega-macro-collaborative. Youth Specialties has permanently altered the abstraction of iteration. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen biometrics, infomediaries are forced to become co-branded. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will raise our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our ability to optimize. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be 24/7/365? We think we know that if you innovate micro-wirelessly then you may also engineer nano-holistically. We think that most out-of-the-box, customized web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XForms. We realize that if you seize proactively then you may also innovate strategically. If you extend extensibly, you may have to cultivate interactively. It seems unclear, but it's true! We think that most long-term portals use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. Have you ever been unable to integrate your dot-com feature set? Free? It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and WAP. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not short-term, e-business. If you exploit magnetically, you may have to target holistically. Think B2B. Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? We think that most compelling web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF.