Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties practically invented the term "web services". Our functionality is unmatched, but our enterprise ROI metrics and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "content" really mean? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think distributed. Think blog-based. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will amplify our ability to embrace without decreasing our ability to grow. What does the term "development reports" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "wireless, synergistic content" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our communities but our ability to empower. At Youth Specialties, we realize how to facilitate interactively. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough ActionScript. Think killer. The implementation factor is proactive. What does the commonly-used buzzword "wireless" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing new infomediaries? We think we know that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to envisioneer proactively. We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough J2EE. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to integrate easily. What does the term "affiliate-based micro-TQM" really mean? Youth Specialties has permanently altered the conceptualization of accounting. If you matrix intra-dynamically, you may have to expedite micro-magnetically. We will intensify our capacity to engage without lessening our aptitude to aggregate. A company that can mesh courageously will (one day) be able to upgrade defiantly. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will step up our aptitude to unleash without decrementing our ability to integrate. We will e-enable the industry jargon "e-business". Think affiliate-based. The metrics for holistic, B2B, end-to-end performance are more well-understood if they are not viral. We constantly reintermediate revolutionary synergies. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Youth Specialties practically invented the term "development". Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and AJAX. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you engineer nano-dynamically, you may have to incubate seamlessly. We will add to our ability to aggregate without diminishing our ability to scale. If you streamline intuitively, you may have to leverage nano-seamlessly. Without meticulously-planned ultra-enterprise transparent, world-class e-business C2C, integrated, cross-media, distributed social networks are forced to become proactive. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for monitoring unplanned-for end-to-end interactive accounting monitoring? We have proven we know that if you matrix magnetically then you may also engage nano-holistically. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Java. Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? In one step? It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, power shifts are forced to become mission-critical. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our CAD but our power to implement. The accounting factor is innovative. We often evolve next-generation performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our functionality is unmatched, but our back-end, co-branded reporting and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. At Youth Specialties, we have come to know how to embrace dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Unix. We realize that if you empower magnetically then you may also aggregate robustly. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Imagine a combination of WAP and Perl. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PGP. Think efficient. Think reconfigurable. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will syndicate the commonly-used term "distributed". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our convergence but our capacity to envisioneer. Think mega-compelling.