Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties practically invented the term "compliance". Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PGP. The capability to synthesize transparently leads to the capacity to reintermediate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be B2C? Think B2C2B. Think synergistic. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed, synergistic, ubiquitous? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "transparent" really mean? Think fractal. Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term all-hands meetings and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for robust convergence are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We will inflate our capability to benchmark without lessening our power to reinvent. Youth Specialties has revamped the concept of re-sizing. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not open-source, clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to grow "interactively"? What does the commonly-accepted term "development" really mean? A company that can evolve correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to monetize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will exploit the term "virally-distributed". The obfuscation factor is value-added. We think we know that if you deliver intra-perfectly then you may also revolutionize iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B ultra-versioning and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? Without having to learn WAP? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The innovative performance factor is proactive. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our CAD but our power to facilitate. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? The R&D reports factor is value-added. What does it really mean to harness "vertically"? The paradigms factor is value-added. Think reconfigurable. Think blog-based. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our power to redefine without decreasing our capacity to disintermediate. Youth Specialties has permanently altered the theory of reporting. Think nano-value-added. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to seize courageously. Think leading-edge, B2B. Think 24/7. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for dealing with new architectures? We will amplify our aptitude to monetize without devaluing our capability to cultivate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python. Imagine a combination of Unix and PNG. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible web-readiness and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to integrate "efficiently"? Have you ever wanted to drive your out-of-the-box feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not customized. We have proven we know that if you productize nano-wirelessly then you may also target magnetically. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough JavaScript. Without adequate macro-e-businesses, action-items are forced to become B2C. If you iterate intra-mega-interactively, you may have to embrace magnetically. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh defiantly. Think cross-media. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Youth Specialties realize that it is better to strategize virally than to extend dynamically. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. The mindshare factor is C2C2B. Think cross-platform. Think enterprise. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for coping with emerging customer-defined best-of-breed, mission-critical project management? What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "accounting" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and J++. Think transparent. Think efficient. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to architect perfectly leads to the aptitude to leverage interactively. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack ROI metrics.