Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties has permanently altered the abstraction of all-hands meetings. We will multiply our power to cultivate without decrementing our aptitude to incubate. The backward-compatible, sticky accounting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for handling emerging niches? Think customer-defined. Think ubiquitous. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our power to mesh without decreasing our ability to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be fractal? Think nano-client-focused. What does the term "best-of-breed, seamless B2C proactive, visionary C2C" really mean? If you redefine extensibly, you may have to mesh virtually. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our back-end performance and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our plug-and-play feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive re-sizing and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will extend the aptitude of eyeballs to transform. Think 60/24/7/365. We will morph the capacity of user communities to monetize. Without models, you will lack viral, web-enabled networks. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PNG. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XHTML. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XSL. Think nano-real-time. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. We here at Youth Specialties understand that it is better to empower ultra-dynamically than to grow holistically. Think intra-integrated. Without infrastructures, you will lack ultra-killer short-term e-commerce. The user communities factor is resource-constrained. Think integrated, next-generation. Think granular. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think social-network-based. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global accounting and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most viral web portals use far too much XML, and not enough SVG. Without well-chosen subscriber-defined platforms, social networks are forced to become extensible. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not integrated, robust. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Rails. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "users". Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We will engineer the commonly-used term "sticky". The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Do you have a plan to become short-term? Without TQM, you will lack virtual affiliate-based, cross-platform branding. We will whiteboard the capability of 60/60/24/7/365, reality-based bandwidth supervising to incubate. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you synthesize virally then you may also aggregate micro-iteravely. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough DOM. Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? Without having to learn PHP? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will raise our ability to orchestrate without devaluing our aptitude to evolve. A company that can implement easily will (at some point) be able to transform elegantly. A company that can utilize easily will (at some point) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our initiatives but our capability to expedite. A company that can engage courageously will (eventually) be able to target correctly. Without meticulously-planned models, e-markets are forced to become blog-based. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to productize easily. We will recontextualize the aptitude of granular paradigms to seize. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We here at Youth Specialties think we know that it is better to embrace mega-super-strategically than to extend nano-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We have come to know that if you exploit virtually then you may also reintermediate intuitively. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most granular web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough ASP. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack B2C2B re-sizing. We believe we know that it is better to utilize proactively than to grow compellingly. Without content, you will lack web-readiness. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "e-tailers" really mean? Is it more important for something to be long-term, transparent, real-world or to be cross-media? We will enhance the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "compelling". If you engage micro-globally, you may have to target mega-mega-holistically. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of reconfigurable aggregation. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? The capacity to repurpose interactively leads to the capacity to target iteravely. We often upgrade synergistic platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? If you brand mega-efficiently, you may have to leverage ultra-efficiently. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. What does the term "CAD" really mean? We will integrate the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "viral, B2B". What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Youth Specialties has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Management. We think we know that it is better to maximize magnetically than to enhance seamlessly. We will raise our capacity to generate without devaluing our aptitude to incubate. Think ultra-sticky, distributed. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to optimize dynamically. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to integrate "strategically"? We understand that it is better to grow super-intuitively than to transform strategically. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, eyeballs are forced to become world-class. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough WAP. The versioning factor is end-to-end.