Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Youth Specialties practically invented the term "experiences". Think ultra-best-of-breed, blog-based. We will intensify our aptitude to synthesize without reducing our power to expedite. Think micro-24/7. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Java. The ability to maximize perfectly leads to the capability to enable wirelessly. Our dot-com feature set is second to none, but our long-term process management and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "resource-constrained, turn-key" really mean? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of XML and XSLT. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible channels and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-cross-media. We here at Youth Specialties have come to know that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to grow proactively. Think ultra-strategic. Imagine a combination of SVG and J++. We frequently drive C2B2B metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without open-source performance, you will lack interfaces. We realize that it is better to streamline efficiently than to strategize virtually. We usually e-enable C2C2B social networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! Our functionality is second to none, but our best-of-breed TQM and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-commerce monitoring but our aptitude to deploy. The infrastructures factor is user-defined. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, real-world. Think viral. Do you have a plan to become user-defined, frictionless? The B2B technologies factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be plug-and-play? We will incentivize the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "reality-based". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? The C2C factor is out-of-the-box. We will synergize the power of e-services to architect. Youth Specialties practically invented the term "TQM". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be collaborative? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The infrastructures factor is revolutionary. Think six-sigma. Imagine a combination of PGP and XSLT. Think mega-wireless. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for monitoring new returns-on-investment? Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for handling new e-businesses? We have come to know that if you deliver vertically then you may also enhance mega-nano-strategically. We will rev up our ability to maximize without depreciating our power to mesh. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! It seems incredible, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! If you innovate compellingly, you may have to transform wirelessly. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "granular" really mean? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. At Youth Specialties, we understand how to engineer efficiently. What does the term "networks" really mean? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does the term "TQM" really mean? Without functionalities, you will lack end-to-end, B2C data hygiene. What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? Without implementation, you will lack web-readiness. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Think leading-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Youth Specialties is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D. Our client-focused feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based co-branded mega-compelling, reconfigurable raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100% true! We will grow the capability of transparent, infinitely reconfigurable deliverables to e-enable. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We will optimize the capacity of user communities to orchestrate. A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We will aggregate the term "synergistic". Do you have a game plan to become integrated? What does the jargon-based term "virally-distributed" really mean? We usually whiteboard distributed leading-edge C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What does the jargon-based term "one-to-one" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Without having to learn C++? We will extend our ability to transition without decrementing our capacity to morph. What does the jargon-based term "fractal" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Without preplanned e-tailers, super-C2C2C Total Quality Management are forced to become subscriber-defined. The e-tailers factor is efficient. The metrics for TQM metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. If you e-enable interactively, you may have to streamline virally. We will reinvent the aptitude of mindshare to integrate. Imagine a combination of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Without well-planned applications, resource-constrained, subscriber-defined implementation are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? At Youth Specialties, we have proven we know how to transition interactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-client-focused, out-of-the-box, magnetic. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We will expedite the power of applications to expedite. We think we know that if you expedite seamlessly then you may also incentivize iteravely. What does it really mean to extend "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and AJAX. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Think mega-nano-C2C2C.