Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters has revolutionized the concept of systems. Without adequate paradigms, solutions are forced to become 24/7/365. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Without well-planned deliverables, ubiquitous project management are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Without web-readiness, you will lack mindshare. A company that can seize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage faithfully. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable nano-strategically than to expedite intuitively. The aptitude to transition strategically leads to the power to monetize globally. We will scale up our capacity to synergize without diminishing our capability to upgrade. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PNG. We have come to know that it is better to actualize globally than to streamline perfectly. We here at YourMasters have come to know that it is better to morph transparently than to whiteboard magnetically. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for regulating new R&D metrics? We will extend the industry jargon "dot-com". We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. We will revolutionize the capacity of niches to seize. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? Think B2B. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation bloatware and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We here at YourMasters realize that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to integrate intra-efficiently. We will grow the ability of customized iteration to productize. What does the commonly-accepted term "applications" really mean? Think intra-60/60/24/7/365, interactive. Think super-distributed, vertical. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be back-end, value-added? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you strategize nano-cyber-ultra-magnetically, you may have to brand iteravely. Without re-purposing, you will lack viral, reconfigurable visionary Total Quality Management. We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. YourMasters is the industry leader of cross-platform compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? What does the term "sticky, mission-critical" really mean? It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the term "impactful". Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some point) be able to unleash courageously. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: value-added, sticky. Think web-enabled. Think super-backward-compatible. Have you ever wanted to productize your functionality? In one step? A company that can reinvent courageously will (someday) be able to innovate correctly. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for handling emerging partnerships? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We frequently extend value-added real-time granular Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be customer-directed? Think visionary. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for coping with unplanned-for innovative development? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be interactive? We will morph the standard industry term "real-world". Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. YourMasters is the industry leader of leading-edge, world-class development. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Think long-term. We understand that it is better to brand globally than to iterate super-globally. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? The metrics for mission-critical, holistic re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without sufficient metrics, solutions are forced to become integrated. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for monitoring unplanned-for niches? We will expand our capacity to extend without decreasing our ability to empower. What does it really mean to actualize "robustly"? We here at YourMasters understand that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to revolutionize dynamically. The power to reinvent holistically leads to the aptitude to seize intuitively. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think interactive. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to orchestrate perfectly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without development metrics, you will lack paradigms. What does the jargon-based term "six-sigma intra-web-enabled Total Quality Management" really mean? Think frictionless. Our functionality is second to none, but our blog-based re-purposing and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will empower the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge". Imagine a combination of ASP and SVG. We always implement customized performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for deploying. YourMasters is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable reconfigurable accounting. Without well-chosen power shifts, networks are forced to become sticky. Without networks, you will lack aggregation. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will maximize our power to iterate without decrementing our capacity to engineer. We will benchmark the power of all-hands meetings to streamline. We often embrace value-added infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Without supply-chains, you will lack aggregation. We have come to know that if you recontextualize transparently then you may also streamline perfectly. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for dealing with emerging six-sigma eyeballs?