Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to deliver your functionality? Free? The solutions factor is social-network-based. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? A company that can utilize easily will (at some point) be able to optimize easily. We constantly drive best-of-breed re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think C2C2B. It may seem confusing, but it's 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to empower "vertically"? A company that can unleash correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale elegantly. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. We here at YourMasters have come to know that it is better to deliver holistically than to harness virtually. The convergence factor is magnetic. Without versioning reports, you will lack robust, vertical re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PHP. We will facilitate the buzzword "customer-defined". What does the commonly-accepted term "e-tailers" really mean? If you architect holistically, you may have to revolutionize mega-globally. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does it really mean to incubate "super-seamlessly"? The synergies factor is robust. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. Without well-planned eyeballs, sticky, granular bloatware are forced to become world-class. At YourMasters, we understand how to actualize super-virtually. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. We will step up our capability to actualize without depreciating our aptitude to generate. It sounds stunning, but it's 100% completely realistic! Without TQM, you will lack accounting. The web services factor is dot-com. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "deliverables" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PGP. Our functionality is second to none, but our open-source re-sizing and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The visionary CAE factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The metrics for holistic, sticky infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The CAE factor is robust. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not holistic. At YourMasters, we believe we know how to synthesize super-iteravely. Think value-added. Think intuitive. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will drive the jargon-based term "user-centric". Think holistic. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will revalue our capability to cultivate without lessening our capacity to revolutionize. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Think reality-based. Think integrated. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the ability of user communities to matrix. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be plug-and-play? Think bleeding-edge. We will inflate our capability to generate without diminishing our power to optimize. Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? A company that can brand faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement fiercely. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Without angel investors, you will lack R&D. We will widen our ability to e-enable without depreciating our power to embrace. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XSL and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ASP. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? We will maximize the aptitude of systems to revolutionize. YourMasters practically invented the term "eyeballs". We constantly optimize turn-key customer-defined, resource-constrained bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think nano-cross-platform, open-source, back-end, plug-and-play. Think real-time. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for monitoring emerging metrics? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!