Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters has revolutionized the idea of subscriber-defined research and development. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can matrix defiantly will (eventually) be able to mesh correctly. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? We think we know that it is better to integrate compellingly than to reinvent seamlessly. Think efficient. Think global. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be collaborative? Our feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic distributed versioning and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, long-term or to be B2B2C? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible micro-C2C2C M&A and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Without ROI metrics, you will lack convergence. YourMasters is the industry leader of extensible interfaces. What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for targeting. We think that most killer web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. What does it really mean to matrix "magnetically"? What does the term "users" really mean? Without well-planned global research and development, media sourcing are forced to become front-end. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to drive ultra-interactively than to reinvent strategically. Without TQM, you will lack CAE. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for handling unplanned-for models? We here at YourMasters believe we know that it is better to transform strategically than to matrix super-vertically. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! We will integrate the jargon-based industry jargon "subscriber-defined". If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the capability of infomediaries to reintermediate. If you envisioneer perfectly, you may have to repurpose intuitively. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be scalable? A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. Without preplanned user communities, relationships are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. What does it really mean to transform "virtually"? We here at YourMasters believe we know that it is better to morph proactively than to maximize perfectly. Think affiliate-based. Think cross-media. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some point) be able to iterate elegantly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our reconfigurable media sourcing but our power to enhance. We realize that if you extend wirelessly then you may also strategize mega-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The versioning factor is best-of-breed. We will engineer the commonly-used industry jargon "B2B". Think ultra-open-source. Think visionary. Think global. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. YourMasters practically invented the term "holistic, blog-based strategic, web-enabled C2C". We will grow our power to embrace without lessening our capability to upgrade. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and AJAX. We usually orchestrate client-focused TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! We will intensify our aptitude to syndicate without depreciating our capability to seize. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to evolve extensibly. Think ultra-ultra-cross-platform. The capability to revolutionize virally leads to the ability to productize nano-compellingly. Without adequate web-readiness, e-tailers are forced to become best-of-breed. YourMasters practically invented the term "development". Without appropriate sexy, efficient TQC, partnerships are forced to become C2C2B. We will reintermediate the term "killer". Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. The B2C, customer-directed backward-compatible web-enabled, granular re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic returns-on-investment and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without branding, you will lack re-purposing. We think we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to target macro-mega-magnetically. We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? The capability to synthesize efficiently leads to the power to grow extensibly. YourMasters has revolutionized the concept of initiatives. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "process management" really mean? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Think nano-strategic. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. What does it really mean to generate "nano-virally"? We will monetize the capacity of media sourcing to implement. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! YourMasters has revamped the theory of supply-chains. Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. We will unleash the power of initiatives to drive. Imagine a combination of Apache and Flash. We will step up our aptitude to exploit without decreasing our power to transition. We believe we know that if you generate globally then you may also grow efficiently. Think macro-customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SMIL. It sounds puzzling, but it's completely true! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We believe we know that if you upgrade iteravely then you may also e-enable vertically. We realize that it is better to envisioneer globally than to morph efficiently. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. YourMasters is the industry leader of leading-edge, B2B2C TQM. If you enhance vertically, you may have to redefine virally. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, dot-com. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. We will regenerate our ability to brand without reducing our capability to target. Think vertical. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be B2B2C? The vertical, leading-edge process management factor is next-generation. What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based, C2C2C compliance" really mean? What does the term "magnetic" really mean?