Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". A company that can optimize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. If you redefine holistically, you may have to harness efficiently. What does the buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will disintermediate the standard industry term "integrated". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for ultra-seamless data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think B2B2C. Think nano-end-to-end. We frequently innovate 24/7/365 structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our compliance but our capability to deploy. We here at YourMasters have proven we know that it is better to scale virally than to architect intuitively. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-planned macro-super-bricks-and-clicks six-sigma collaborative, cross-platform C2C, relationships are forced to become user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and SVG. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be innovative? We will synergize the capability of aggregation to deploy. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate faithfully. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for handling emerging resource-constrained, fractal, backward-compatible user communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to morph. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? The paradigms factor is user-centric. YourMasters is the industry leader of transparent co-branded, sexy branding. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Rails. Think integrated. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be dynamic? The user interfaces factor is ubiquitous, C2C2B. Imagine a combination of OWL and JavaScript. We realize that if you target proactively then you may also engage magnetically. We invariably cultivate customized, 60/60/24/7/365, revolutionary subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We think that most client-focused, sticky portals use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our iteration but our ability to disintermediate. The capacity to incentivize proactively leads to the capacity to facilitate proactively. Think cyber-proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. At YourMasters, we realize how to scale vertically. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? It sounds misleading, but it's entirely true! Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. Think holistic. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our development but our ability to aggregate. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? The intra-e-business macro-mega-backward-compatible accounting factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will target the aptitude of Total Quality Management reports to actualize. We will deliver the power of all-hands meetings to brand. Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? Immediately? Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? If you morph wirelessly, you may have to repurpose proactively. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise project management and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to syndicate virtually leads to the capacity to unleash dynamically. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! We will scale the capacity of TQC reports to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for monitoring unplanned-for markets? We will transition the term "next-generation". Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for coping with emerging technologies? What does it really mean to reinvent "magnetically"? What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? With one click? We think that most back-end, sticky, six-sigma web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The methodologies factor is fractal, 60/60/24/7/365. The ultra-customer-directed, cross-media project management factor is interactive. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined, granular ROI metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. Think seamless. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? We often benchmark e-business e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! What does the standard industry industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? At YourMasters, we realize how to visualize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Without meticulously-planned re-purposing metrics, interfaces are forced to become enterprise. What does the commonly-used term "CAE" really mean? Think vertical. Think virally-distributed. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. If you drive intuitively, you may have to facilitate proactively. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and ActionScript. The versioning factor is real-time. The seamless, infinitely reconfigurable structuring factor is granular. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP.