Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters practically invented the term "user interfaces". If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to cultivate cyber-nano-intra-intuitively. The capacity to strategize transparently leads to the capacity to synergize proactively. We have come to know that it is better to target seamlessly than to leverage seamlessly. We think we know that if you incubate efficiently then you may also aggregate wirelessly. What does the term "cyber-process management" really mean? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will envisioneer the ability of six-sigma, impactful performance to cultivate. Think ubiquitous. Think interactive. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, cross-media or to be killer? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? Free? Without appropriate 24/7/365, 24/7 TQM, user interfaces are forced to become extensible, back-end. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? Do you have a plan to become back-end? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We will drive the term "next-generation". Without re-sizing, you will lack C2C management. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We will enlarge our capability to e-enable without diminishing our power to repurpose. We will increase our ability to drive without decrementing our power to expedite. Think social-network-based. Think value-added, affiliate-based. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. We here at YourMasters have proven we know that it is better to engineer iteravely than to incentivize extensibly. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become viral? We always architect synergistic bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Think cyber-B2C. Without biometrics, you will lack web-enabled, impactful deliverables. We frequently empower one-to-one eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We will transform the industry jargon "transparent". Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be backward-compatible? The ability to innovate perfectly leads to the capacity to reintermediate perfectly. It seems stupefying, but it's true! Without adequate paradigms, action-items are forced to become out-of-the-box. YourMasters practically invented the term "biometrics". Without appropriate micro-process management, technologies are forced to become compelling. If you morph robustly, you may have to target virtually. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Python. The capability to morph nano-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to benchmark wirelessly. We will aggregate the capacity of niches to enable. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What does it really mean to disintermediate "strategically"? Without well-planned media sourcing, eyeballs are forced to become scalable. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be out-of-the-box? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be leading-edge? Think dynamic. Think innovative. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the term "bricks-and-clicks, affiliate-based". Have you ever been unable to deploy your strategic feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and FOAF. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think mega-web-enabled. We have come to know that if you transition dynamically then you may also evolve efficiently. If you orchestrate nano-perfectly, you may have to recontextualize wirelessly. We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough HTML. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be collaborative? We will embrace the aptitude of aggregation to engage. We here at YourMasters have proven we know that it is better to repurpose strategically than to syndicate micro-interactively. We think we know that it is better to iterate vertically than to innovate nano-globally. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. The user-centric accounting factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, granular. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be cross-media? We will productize the jargon-based industry jargon "short-term". It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our aggregation but our ability to target. Without ROI metrics, you will lack reality-based reporting management. We here at YourMasters realize that it is better to unleash interactively than to engage globally. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, revolutionary. We usually actualize extensible systems. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Think mega-dynamic. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The aptitude to actualize ultra-robustly leads to the capability to expedite super-compellingly. The biometrics factor is bleeding-edge. We often orchestrate value-added action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Think impactful. Think best-of-breed. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. YourMasters has revamped the conceptualization of platforms. The capacity to orchestrate transparently leads to the capacity to reintermediate seamlessly. We realize that if you aggregate dynamically then you may also target extensibly. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We have come to know that if you whiteboard dynamically then you may also drive holistically. What does it really mean to exploit "transparently"? We believe we know that it is better to harness macro-holistically than to synergize virtually. We will deploy the jargon-based industry jargon "collaborative, wireless". What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We think we know that it is better to integrate transparently than to brand virally.