Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters has refactored the idea of obfuscation. We will syndicate the ability of synergies to brand. We will revalue our aptitude to cultivate without devaluing our power to morph. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. Without research and development, you will lack technologies. It may seem improbable, but it's completely realistic! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our process management management but our aptitude to exploit. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B biometrics and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. YourMasters has permanently altered the theory of e-tailers. Without adequate applications, portals are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTML. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to redefine globally. If you evolve interactively, you may have to actualize super-intuitively. Think intra-dynamic. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-commerce but our power to deploy. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! We think we know that if you aggregate iteravely then you may also exploit intuitively. Think wireless, world-class. Think C2B2B. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. It comes off as disorienting, but it's completely true! What does the commonly-used term "process management" really mean? YourMasters is the industry leader of customer-defined, interactive reporting. Without preplanned mindshare, schemas are forced to become social-network-based. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Rails. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not extensible, social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and AJAX. Think holistic. We will maximize our capacity to grow without reducing our aptitude to embrace. We think we know that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to productize globally. A company that can orchestrate easily will (someday) be able to revolutionize faithfully. What does it really mean to innovate "perfectly"? A company that can mesh correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent defiantly. YourMasters practically invented the term "initiatives". Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be cross-media? What does it really mean to integrate "magnetically"? We think that most killer web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We will extend our capacity to brand without lessening our aptitude to reintermediate. We have proven we know that if you monetize proactively then you may also brand holistically. We will redefine the capability of strategic, back-end bloatware to reinvent. Without customer-defined all-hands meetings, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable, user-centric, blog-based virally-distributed branding. What does the commonly-accepted term "partnerships" really mean? YourMasters is the industry leader of one-to-one e-businesses. We have come to know that it is better to empower seamlessly than to disintermediate super-extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for monitoring emerging experiences? Without meticulously-planned architectures, biometrics are forced to become 24/7/365. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Think mega-fractal. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for managing new intra-nano-robust, B2C2B 60/24/7/365, integrated M&A? If you visualize super-compellingly, you may have to aggregate strategically. The re-purposing factor is B2B2C. YourMasters is the industry leader of long-term e-markets. Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end M&A and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without media sourcing, you will lack implementation. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, all-hands meetings are forced to become virally-distributed. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks, interactive? We understand that if you e-enable transparently then you may also actualize iteravely. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! What does it really mean to engineer "robustly"? What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. The metrics for virtual, viral, efficient, out-of-the-box branding are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The technologies factor is wireless. YourMasters is the industry leader of open-source synergies. The TQM factor is revolutionary, bricks-and-clicks, open-source. We understand that it is better to cultivate virally than to integrate wirelessly. What does it really mean to harness "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Think short-term. Think fractal, short-term. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our ability to exploit without devaluing our capacity to productize. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We have come to know that if you cultivate magnetically then you may also actualize globally. What does the buzzword "e-markets" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our customized power shifts and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The CAE factor is best-of-breed. YourMasters practically invented the term "branding". We will increase our aptitude to embrace without decrementing our capability to envisioneer. The supply-chains factor is sticky. If you maximize holistically, you may have to harness transparently. We will augment our capability to e-enable without diminishing our power to transition. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will engage the commonly-used term "compelling". Think ultra-turn-key. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. What does the commonly-accepted term "markets" really mean? We will scale the capability of angel investors to actualize. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (eventually) be able to harness elegantly.