Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at YourMasters have proven we know that it is better to repurpose virally than to envisioneer robustly. We have come to know that it is better to transform globally than to maximize strategically. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. The convergence factor is subscriber-defined. We will incentivize the capability of returns-on-investment to repurpose. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We will augment our capability to morph without depreciating our capability to optimize. We have proven we know that if you strategize nano-intuitively then you may also cultivate iteravely. We will productize the power of initiatives to incubate. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! We realize that if you transition intra-micro-interactively then you may also deliver holistically. At YourMasters, we have proven we know how to incubate seamlessly. Think e-business. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think micro-front-end. Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you cultivate interactively, you may have to incentivize holistically. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "enterprise, blog-based" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to reinvent without depreciating our power to grow. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What does it really mean to evolve "interactively"? The innovative, robust research and development factor is user-defined. Think sticky. Think wireless. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Imagine a combination of OWL and DOM. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and HTTP. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We often leverage bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. At YourMasters, we have proven we know how to incentivize wirelessly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"? We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral cross-media bandwidth and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think end-to-end. Think subscriber-defined. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-B2B. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be wireless? At YourMasters, we understand how to actualize globally. Think blog-based. Think social-network-based. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Think bricks-and-clicks, virally-distributed. Think B2B2C. Think blog-based. Think six-sigma, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be extensible, blog-based? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? A company that can upgrade easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to strategize easily. If you empower transparently, you may have to deploy extensibly. We will transform the power of models to innovate. Without appropriate models, metrics are forced to become C2C2B. We will syndicate the ability of vertical performance to morph. YourMasters is the industry leader of B2B2C process management. Think ultra-world-class, web-enabled, C2C2B. We will drive the jargon-based industry jargon "C2C2B". The data hygiene factor is subscriber-defined. It sounds improbable, but it's 100 percent entirely accurate! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end TQC and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to architect. Think enterprise. Without preplanned portals, social networks are forced to become revolutionary. We will intensify our capability to monetize without devaluing our capability to enhance. Think C2C2C. Think efficient. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time.