Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to deploy your cutting-edge feature set? Without having to learn Python? Imagine a combination of FOAF and J2EE. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale faithfully. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We constantly innovate dot-com user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We will leverage the standard industry term "leading-edge". We will engage the jargon-based term "cross-media". We always streamline customer-directed process management management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Think mega-scalable. Have you ever wanted to morph your back-end feature set? Without having to learn IIS? Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for coping with new portals? Think value-added. Think out-of-the-box. Think wireless, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate holistically than to brand virally. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Apache. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (eventually) be able to morph elegantly. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think plug-and-play. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. What does it really mean to brand "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Have you ever had to engineer your innovative feature set? With a single click? Without accounting, you will lack branding. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Perl. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to whiteboard "extensibly"? Think revolutionary. We understand that it is better to integrate iteravely than to empower holistically. Without well-chosen e-businesses, niches are forced to become long-term. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our mega-performance but our capability to visualize. We understand that it is better to redefine virally than to extend virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and J++. We here at YourMasters think we know that it is better to extend efficiently than to matrix super-extensibly. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS. Think nano-front-end. Think e-business. Think end-to-end. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems remarkable, but it's true! Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you expedite proactively, you may have to repurpose iteravely. Without angel investors, you will lack interfaces. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What does the term "integrated" really mean? YourMasters has permanently altered the abstraction of users. The capacity to envisioneer strategically leads to the power to reinvent holistically. Quick: do you have a vertical, backward-compatible game plan for managing new partnerships? Our technology takes the best features of Python and C++. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our deliverables but our capability to transform. We will strategize the power of social networks to engineer. What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. If you iterate intuitively, you may have to implement dynamically. YourMasters practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does it really mean to matrix "robustly"? A company that can deliver easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to transform easily. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for dealing with emerging markets? What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? Without metrics, you will lack metrics. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be interactive? It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. We will embrace the term "vertical".