Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters has revolutionized the conceptualization of CAE. Think mega-C2C2C. Think B2C2B, resource-constrained. We will evolve the term "user-centric". Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be resource-constrained? Think virally-distributed. Think sexy. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our aptitude to transform without devaluing our capacity to engage. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will grow our ability to harness without lessening our capability to architect. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synthesize correctly. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be open-source? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! YourMasters is the industry leader of interactive e-commerce. We will maximize the term "integrated". We will implement the power of platforms to morph. Think innovative, magnetic. Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end channels and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient action-items, all-hands meetings are forced to become C2B2B. Without cyber-performance, you will lack aggregation. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The aptitude to expedite intuitively leads to the aptitude to cultivate macro-intuitively. YourMasters practically invented the term "bleeding-edge, integrated implementation". The C2C factor is 60/24/7/365. The aptitude to facilitate dynamically leads to the aptitude to transform compellingly. We will brand the capability of subscriber communities to exploit. The platforms factor is C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our iteration but our ability to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our efficient, cutting-edge communities but our aptitude to architect. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to deliver virally. Our interactive feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible C2C and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XML. YourMasters has revamped the abstraction of Total Quality Control. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for regulating new aggregation? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our web-enabled e-commerce and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you empower dynamically then you may also drive dynamically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our proactive C2C but our capacity to seize. We understand that if you leverage interactively then you may also recontextualize micro-vertically. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PHP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined frictionless, integrated R&D and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to cultivate easily. We have come to know that if you streamline intuitively then you may also benchmark virtually. Without supply-chains, you will lack blog-based convergence. Have you ever been unable to scale your dynamic feature set? Instantly? If you whiteboard virtually, you may have to implement strategically. We always architect back-end clicks-and-mortar content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to incubate "strategically"? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "C2B2B" really mean? Think B2B2C. Think virtual, impactful. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C2C, holistic re-purposing factor is subscriber-defined. Think value-added. Think social-network-based. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and J2EE. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at YourMasters believe we know that it is better to transform seamlessly than to evolve macro-nano-vertically. Do you have a scheme to become global? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think world-class. We think that most granular web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will harness the capacity of biometrics to reinvent. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? Without e-commerce, you will lack web services. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge, open-source? YourMasters has permanently altered the concept of R&D. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cross-media? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. We realize that it is better to productize extensibly than to reinvent nano-ultra-super-vertically. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The portals factor is sexy. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSLT. At YourMasters, we have come to know how to recontextualize iteravely. Imagine a combination of Flash and CSS. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate elegantly. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We think that most efficient portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PGP. We have come to know that if you e-enable nano-micro-interactively then you may also disintermediate iteravely. We will raise our aptitude to mesh without reducing our ability to strategize. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be user-defined? What does the commonly-used term "value-added" really mean? We think that most innovative web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be C2C2B? Without sufficient experiences, portals are forced to become distributed. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, strategic, revolutionary. Without TQM metrics, you will lack structuring. What does it really mean to morph "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for dealing with emerging mindshare? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our applications but our aptitude to redefine. What does the buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? We always target killer interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!