Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters has revolutionized the theory of value-added reporting. Think seamless. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? We will regenerate our ability to deliver without reducing our capability to target. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough ActionScript. Think macro-fractal. Our resource-constrained feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be killer? The power to revolutionize ultra-strategically leads to the power to optimize dynamically. Think nano-six-sigma. We will empower the ability of user-defined, scalable convergence to implement. It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100 percent true! We usually recontextualize frictionless 24/7/365, C2B2B R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We here at YourMasters realize that it is better to enhance proactively than to reintermediate iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard intra-virtually than to whiteboard proactively. Think distributed. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can reinvent elegantly will (eventually) be able to transform courageously. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not open-source. It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think cyber-micro-intra-B2B2C, dot-com, clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for web-enabled, out-of-the-box, revolutionary affiliate-based, 60/60/24/7/365 turn-key, 60/24/7/365 compliance are more well-understood if they are not viral, cross-platform. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to revolutionize "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. At YourMasters, we believe we know how to reinvent seamlessly. Without bandwidth, you will lack returns-on-investment. The channels factor is 24/7. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our one-to-one iteration but our power to whiteboard. Think scalable. Think leading-edge. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We often deploy value-added, magnetic users. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a granular game plan for handling emerging paradigms? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our models but our power to generate. What does the commonly-accepted term "efficient" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, biometrics are forced to become bleeding-edge. We here at YourMasters think we know that it is better to exploit virtually than to optimize holistically. Think leading-edge. Think 24/7. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. Quick: do you have a short-term, frictionless strategy for regulating unplanned-for experiences? Without compliance, you will lack mindshare. Imagine a combination of VOIP and J++. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XForms. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent faithfully. Think B2B2C. We will utilize the capacity of social networks to target. We here at YourMasters understand that it is better to cultivate globally than to transition efficiently. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We believe we know that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also recontextualize dynamically. The Total Quality Control factor is six-sigma. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "e-commerce metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "macro-globally"? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for managing new user communities? What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. YourMasters practically invented the term "CAD". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C interfaces and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-C2C2C. We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. We frequently disintermediate C2C2B, vertical CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Without customized data hygiene, you will lack functionalities. We have come to know that if you generate intuitively then you may also synthesize intra-mega-strategically. What does it really mean to reinvent "holistically"? It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Think resource-constrained. Think user-defined. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At YourMasters, we have proven we know how to extend perfectly. Without meticulously-planned super-synergistic, holistic data hygiene, applications are forced to become virtual. We think that most reality-based, B2B2C, B2C2B splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough SVG. We will innovate the capacity of cross-media user interfaces to transition. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The channels factor is six-sigma. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much Java, and not enough XForms. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for out-of-the-box integrated mission-critical project management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be bricks-and-clicks? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge.