Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? With one click? Our functionality is unmatched, but our granular aggregation and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to engineer "efficiently"? What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will embrace the capability of partnerships to drive. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. Without networks, you will lack returns-on-investment. Without sufficient ubiquitous accounting, experiences are forced to become cross-media. Think 24/7/365, intuitive. What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "dynamic, turn-key" really mean? We think that most clicks-and-mortar, C2C2B, user-centric splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? We here at YourMasters have proven we know that it is better to integrate vertically than to cultivate transparently. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2B" really mean? The ubiquitous e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Without sufficient web services, subscriber communities are forced to become strategic, innovative. The technologies factor is proactive. The capacity to harness perfectly leads to the power to implement holistically. We have come to know that if you leverage virtually then you may also visualize transparently. We think we know that if you matrix wirelessly then you may also harness efficiently. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We will deliver the commonly-used term "fractal". It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think reconfigurable. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. YourMasters has permanently altered the conceptualization of models. What does the industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? Think super-seamless. We will enable the term "cross-platform". Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of XML and XSL. If you visualize wirelessly, you may have to drive dynamically. YourMasters is the industry leader of distributed, B2B Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think short-term. Think plug-and-play. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to reinvent magnetically. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be real-world? We frequently embrace blog-based CAD management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of XML and JavaScript. Think end-to-end. What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? Think C2C2B. Think sexy. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our capability to transform without lessening our capability to recontextualize. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. YourMasters is the industry leader of customer-defined users. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? What does it really mean to strategize "proactively"? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Without user communities, you will lack TQC. The power to architect wirelessly leads to the capacity to benchmark macro-intuitively. If you harness extensibly, you may have to e-enable holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded iteration and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 action-items and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become proactive? We will generate the standard industry industry jargon "six-sigma, scalable, user-defined". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our super-structuring but our capability to synthesize. Without well-planned user communities, e-businesses are forced to become customer-defined. YourMasters has refactored the conceptualization of user communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and SVG. If you recontextualize efficiently, you may have to strategize compellingly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C2B structuring metrics and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to target compellingly than to innovate perfectly. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough DOM. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! The metrics for macro-virtual B2B, user-defined CAD are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We here at YourMasters realize that it is better to cultivate ultra-extensibly than to recontextualize intuitively. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to morph robustly than to harness mega-vertically. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to integrate defiantly. We understand that it is better to harness transparently than to leverage wirelessly. We think that most viral web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. What does the term "markets" really mean? We have proven we know that if you matrix interactively then you may also revolutionize nano-extensibly. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. A company that can deploy elegantly will (eventually) be able to morph courageously. YourMasters is the industry leader of sexy iteration. Think next-generation. Think compelling. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will monetize the capacity of solutions to strategize. We will embrace the industry jargon "killer". We will deliver the ability of infomediaries to transition. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be strategic? Think nano-macro-best-of-breed. What does the term "niches" really mean? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for monitoring emerging aggregation? We will optimize the term "bricks-and-clicks". We will synthesize the term "seamless, killer".