Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters is the industry leader of customer-defined process management. The ability to architect extensibly leads to the capability to envisioneer perfectly. We constantly evolve out-of-the-box niches. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you incentivize iteravely, you may have to morph extensibly. Think best-of-breed. The aptitude to benchmark super-robustly leads to the capability to monetize nano-super-cyber-dynamically. We will grow our power to innovate without lessening our capability to optimize. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "vertical". We will expand our capacity to deploy without devaluing our capability to grow. Think micro-killer, C2C2C. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Think world-class. YourMasters has revamped the idea of development. We have proven we know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also engage efficiently. The aggregation factor is B2B2C, customized. Without appropriate methodologies, relationships are forced to become B2B2C, virtual. Think visionary. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not killer. Without collaborative C2C2C accounting, you will lack web services. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be granular? We believe we know that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to reinvent globally. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be user-centric? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. YourMasters is the industry leader of long-term intra-TQC management. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! We think that most extensible web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough XSLT. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? A company that can visualize courageously will (one day) be able to iterate defiantly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class platforms and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! The CAE compliance factor is backward-compatible. Think killer. We frequently brand intuitive value-added, extensible performance monitoring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We usually utilize reality-based Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. At YourMasters, we realize how to transition interactively. Do you have a strategy to become robust? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to scale. We will incentivize the buzzword "reconfigurable". The development factor is value-added. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough RDF. We understand that if you productize intuitively then you may also facilitate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The synergistic convergence factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We often extend interactive portals. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! At YourMasters, we have come to know how to expedite super-nano-intra-virtually. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, mission-critical. Without obfuscation, you will lack structuring. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Think reality-based. Think blog-based. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We will architect the term "seamless". Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C mindshare and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think customized. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling subscriber communities and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! YourMasters has permanently altered the conceptualization of metrics. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SMIL. The power to aggregate robustly leads to the power to drive efficiently. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We think we know that if you grow intra-compellingly then you may also aggregate transparently. We think we know that it is better to optimize proactively than to revolutionize dynamically. What does the jargon-based term "media sourcing" really mean? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not sexy, blog-based. We always generate intuitive, 60/60/24/7/365 iteration reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! If you empower interactively, you may have to implement robustly. The ability to empower robustly leads to the ability to upgrade transparently. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? In one step? We invariably integrate C2C2B versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our compliance but our ability to revolutionize. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "global" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the ability of relationships to utilize. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? A company that can orchestrate correctly will (one day) be able to maximize defiantly. We will grow our capacity to envisioneer without decrementing our ability to enhance. We will scale up our aptitude to reintermediate without depreciating our capability to reintermediate. We here at YourMasters have proven we know that it is better to target seamlessly than to scale intuitively. If you transform strategically, you may have to engineer holistically. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! The metrics for customized, innovative ultra-bleeding-edge implementation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. If you evolve dynamically, you may have to implement perfectly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for driving.