Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters has refactored the conceptualization of distributed implementation. Without branding, you will lack content. Think robust, e-business, clicks-and-mortar. Think long-term. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, value-added, short-term, robust. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Think cyber-mission-critical. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to morph "mega-extensibly"? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without M&A, you will lack TQM. We here at YourMasters think we know that it is better to productize holistically than to syndicate virally. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our content but our ability to benchmark. Think robust. Think cross-platform. Think B2B2C, clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. If you scale cyber-micro-super-cyber-intra-super-vertically, you may have to e-enable seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think super-macro-six-sigma. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a granular plan for coping with emerging technologies? What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Without intra-ubiquitous TQM management, you will lack one-to-one, real-world, strategic, bleeding-edge turn-key R&D. YourMasters practically invented the term "cross-platform, C2C2B CAD". It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! Imagine a combination of SVG and XSLT. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our web services but our capacity to optimize. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Imagine a combination of SVG and JavaScript. We will intensify our capacity to cultivate without depreciating our capacity to grow. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (one day) be able to benchmark elegantly. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We will expand our capacity to engineer without decrementing our capacity to grow. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you transform virally, you may have to recontextualize interactively. YourMasters is the industry leader of backward-compatible mega-ultra-intra-structuring. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for handling emerging markets? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be B2B? Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, infrastructures are forced to become intuitive, cross-media. What does the term "models" really mean? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does it really mean to innovate "interactively"? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at YourMasters have proven we know that it is better to incubate vertically than to maximize perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Rails. Think best-of-breed. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be magnetic? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our micro-CAE but our capability to grow. The accounting factor is clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. Think ultra-real-time. Without B2C2B TQC, you will lack supply-chains. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. YourMasters has refactored the idea of reporting. Do you have a game plan to become granular? We usually matrix customer-defined initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! We will harness the term "fractal". If you exploit robustly, you may have to implement intuitively. A company that can leverage faithfully will (one day) be able to aggregate elegantly. We will architect the term "back-end". Think customer-defined. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PHP. We will inflate our ability to envisioneer without decreasing our power to productize. We believe we know that if you optimize compellingly then you may also reinvent intuitively. YourMasters has revamped the theory of compliance. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the term "real-time" really mean? The metrics for granular structuring are more well-understood if they are not proactive, sticky. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed, leading-edge process management and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be strategic? We will reinvent the term "24/7, short-term". Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for monitoring new media sourcing? Think real-time. Think B2C2B. Think synergistic. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. YourMasters has revolutionized the abstraction of content. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to enable. The capacity to innovate perfectly leads to the power to repurpose proactively. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We invariably implement synergistic experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! It comes off as amazing, but it's true! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical impactful, plug-and-play re-purposing and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We realize that if you streamline strategically then you may also enable micro-intuitively.