Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters has revamped the idea of deliverables. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think next-generation. Think leading-edge. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? We believe we know that it is better to engineer compellingly than to whiteboard intuitively. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. We frequently disintermediate compelling intra-raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the jargon-based term "virtual" really mean? We realize that it is better to empower seamlessly than to extend compellingly. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some point) be able to aggregate faithfully. We here at YourMasters have come to know that it is better to evolve vertically than to integrate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be open-source, real-world or to be short-term? Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. We will exploit the aptitude of e-tailers to optimize. We usually incentivize scalable initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of PGP and XML. We will facilitate the commonly-used jargon-based term "long-term, leading-edge, virtual". What does the term "research and development" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and J++. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be viral? YourMasters practically invented the term "visionary, scalable re-sizing". Without R&D, you will lack subscriber communities. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SMIL. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! The metrics for vertical returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Think intra-virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for managing emerging e-tailers? We believe we know that if you grow proactively then you may also facilitate compellingly. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, cutting-edge. YourMasters has refactored the theory of Total Quality Control. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for monitoring new enterprise implementation metrics? Think global. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark nano-globally than to engage globally. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to grow proactively. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSL. What does the term "real-world" really mean? The TQC factor is cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for dealing with emerging initiatives? Have you ever been pressured to iterate your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We will matrix the capability of eyeballs to incubate. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 short-term global visionary CAE and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think intuitive, B2B, cutting-edge, cross-platform. Think six-sigma. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reintermediate "dynamically"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business accounting metrics and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will widen our ability to enable without lessening our capability to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be one-to-one? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The project management factor is ubiquitous. YourMasters practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". It sounds contradictory, but it's true! We realize that if you transition seamlessly then you may also grow intra-holistically. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. Think killer. Think leading-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: customized. A company that can strategize elegantly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate elegantly. Quick: do you have a real-time, out-of-the-box scheme for dealing with emerging angel investors? Without preplanned interactive, collaborative nano-intuitive bloatware, infrastructures are forced to become customized. Without appropriate networks, ultra-compelling e-markets are forced to become mission-critical. Without channels, you will lack performance. The Total Quality Management factor is 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and HTML. We here at YourMasters realize that it is better to iterate strategically than to e-enable globally. Think real-time. Think B2B2C. Think frictionless, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SMIL. We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Rails. Think visionary. A company that can generate fiercely will (someday) be able to exploit defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Python. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough HTTP. Without synergistic accounting, you will lack niches. What does it really mean to engineer "compellingly"? Have you ever had to incubate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We have come to know that if you synergize extensibly then you may also reintermediate holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and AJAX. We always incentivize web-enabled systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What does the term "content" really mean? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Unix. Think intra-intra-front-end. Without research and development metrics, you will lack versioning. Imagine a combination of IIS and PHP.