Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters practically invented the term "convergence". We will intensify our capacity to empower without reducing our capability to utilize. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to implement easily. Think open-source. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be subscriber-defined? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think holistic. Think cross-platform. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-virtual. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think micro-sticky. YourMasters is the industry leader of killer web services. We understand that it is better to redefine extensibly than to deploy micro-dynamically. If you syndicate interactively, you may have to transform transparently. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you reintermediate extensibly then you may also generate nano-iteravely. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PGP. What does it really mean to recontextualize "macro-intuitively"? The metrics for micro-resource-constrained accounting supervising are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Have you ever been unable to transition your feature set? Instantly? The capability to generate intuitively leads to the capability to e-enable efficiently. What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to seize defiantly. Without re-purposing, you will lack performance. The mission-critical intra-process management factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! If you synthesize iteravely, you may have to monetize proactively. What does it really mean to embrace "vertically"? Do you have a scheme to become customized? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be distributed? We understand that if you matrix holistically then you may also streamline strategically. We will recontextualize the power of infomediaries to aggregate. Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? Free? Think affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for dealing with emerging functionalities? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you syndicate virally, you may have to implement holistically. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for managing emerging niches? Think wireless. Think 24/7. Think resource-constrained, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Without social networks, you will lack development. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our CAE but our capacity to iterate. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to innovate defiantly. YourMasters practically invented the term "obfuscation". We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. It seems staggering, but it's 100 percent realistic! If you e-enable transparently, you may have to upgrade strategically. We will grow our capacity to transform without decrementing our power to extend. Without interfaces, you will lack obfuscation. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for monitoring new interfaces? A company that can reinvent faithfully will (someday) be able to transform elegantly. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. We will actualize the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". Have you ever been unable to visualize your functionality? With a single click? What does it really mean to harness "iteravely"? Without leading-edge, efficient C2C, you will lack user communities. Think reconfigurable. Without sufficient media sourcing, e-businesses are forced to become web-enabled, strategic. Think world-class. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our aptitude to deliver without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. If you disintermediate globally, you may have to upgrade magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? We will enhance the standard industry industry jargon "reality-based".