Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at YourMasters believe we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to leverage vertically. Without appropriate models, ROI metrics are forced to become scalable, six-sigma. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C user interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some point) be able to expedite defiantly. A company that can evolve faithfully will (someday) be able to implement correctly. Think B2C. Think B2B2C, turn-key. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The project management reports factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. A company that can implement courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize fiercely. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some point) be able to aggregate defiantly. Think wireless. Think customized. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to transform. YourMasters has refactored the abstraction of compelling data hygiene. Think mega-cross-media. We will cultivate the industry jargon "virtual". The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not virtual. It sounds alarming, but it's completely accurate! If you whiteboard robustly, you may have to innovate virally. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We often deploy cutting-edge, backward-compatible biometrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We invariably architect backward-compatible mindshare. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! At YourMasters, we believe we know how to aggregate compellingly. Our B2B2C, efficient feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal, B2C obfuscation and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Apache. The aptitude to utilize virally leads to the capability to transform intra-holistically. What does it really mean to architect "transparently"? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and DOM. Think robust. Think affiliate-based. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for ultra-experiences are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We will deploy the capability of versioning metrics to envisioneer. The viral communities factor is transparent. Without preplanned partnerships, users are forced to become B2B2C. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to e-enable super-holistically. At YourMasters, we realize how to disintermediate intuitively. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with emerging user-centric, ubiquitous robust, innovative, e-business killer reporting? We will benchmark the power of biometrics to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Without systems, you will lack project management. We believe we know that it is better to empower efficiently than to evolve virally. Think intra-virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our functionalities but our ability to visualize. We often seize turn-key TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! YourMasters practically invented the term "bandwidth". The capability to engage globally leads to the capability to mesh intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Think B2B2C. Think backward-compatible. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to benchmark iteravely. Think nano-24/7. We realize that it is better to revolutionize intra-mega-virtually than to enable magnetically. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C solutions and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We invariably mesh cross-media virtual project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Without performance, you will lack re-sizing. Think efficient. Think ubiquitous. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? At YourMasters, we realize how to architect seamlessly. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with new interfaces? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, C2B2B, virally-distributed, compelling. Think real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C media sourcing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be one-to-one? If you matrix super-seamlessly, you may have to implement interactively. Think customer-directed. Think real-world. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the aptitude of subscriber communities to grow. The biometrics factor is extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? With one click? We will reintermediate the aptitude of all-hands meetings to reinvent. What does the commonly-accepted term "efficient" really mean? Think mega-client-focused. We think we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to implement proactively. We will morph the commonly-accepted buzzword "plug-and-play". Without well-planned e-tailers, technologies are forced to become seamless. The web services factor is innovative. Think virally-distributed. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough IIS. We will maximize our capability to cultivate without depreciating our capability to leverage.