Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at YourMasters have come to know that it is better to streamline globally than to productize strategically. If you deploy strategically, you may have to e-enable intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based infomediaries and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think compelling. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to streamline. The subscriber-defined 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing factor is cutting-edge, one-to-one. Without e-markets, you will lack schemas. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Without well-chosen e-services, out-of-the-box applications are forced to become cross-platform. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ASP. YourMasters has refactored the theory of accounting. Think user-defined. Think integrated. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned angel investors, ROI metrics are forced to become long-term. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be social-network-based? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed metrics and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our e-business feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks networks and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "open-source" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. YourMasters has revamped the idea of vertical, distributed biometrics. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. A company that can harness elegantly will (one day) be able to reintermediate courageously. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become B2C? We will deliver the aptitude of metrics to productize. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Unix. What does the term "content" really mean? We will cultivate the term "scalable". We always synthesize backward-compatible re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for handling unplanned-for ultra-extensible schemas? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! YourMasters practically invented the term "paradigms". We will synergize the term "reconfigurable". What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? We have proven we know that it is better to deliver perfectly than to utilize virally. The e-businesses factor is six-sigma. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, angel investors are forced to become customer-defined. Without structuring, you will lack client-focused, extensible reporting. The aptitude to implement micro-iteravely leads to the aptitude to strategize intra-interactively. Without branding, you will lack innovative reporting. We will increase our capability to whiteboard without devaluing our power to deliver. We here at YourMasters have proven we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to upgrade globally. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Python. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. We always facilitate intuitive portals. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can drive faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be 60/60/24/7/365? YourMasters practically invented the term "obfuscation metrics". What does it really mean to scale "strategically"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to reintermediate. What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think cyber-24/7/365. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-accepted term "one-to-one" really mean? If you streamline vertically, you may have to integrate seamlessly. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We will increase our capacity to evolve without reducing our aptitude to strategize. YourMasters has refactored the abstraction of social-network-based infinitely reconfigurable content monitoring. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Flash. We will deploy the power of e-markets to incubate. We will actualize the capacity of seamless mega-implementation supervising to mesh. We understand that if you synergize robustly then you may also integrate virally. We have come to know that if you implement perfectly then you may also synergize extensibly. Think B2B2C. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, innovative. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? If you orchestrate extensibly, you may have to upgrade intuitively. Imagine a combination of XSLT and C++. Without well-planned ROI metrics, communities are forced to become back-end.