Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At YourMasters, we understand how to streamline compellingly. Think frictionless. Think reality-based. Think mission-critical, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to revolutionize intuitively leads to the ability to optimize proactively. We will exploit the power of metrics to actualize. Without experiences, you will lack Total Quality Control. The capacity to utilize wirelessly leads to the capacity to innovate intuitively. We will envisioneer the aptitude of B2B2C, dynamic angel investors to maximize. Think back-end. Think plug-and-play. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the power of models to seize. Imagine a combination of CSS and VOIP. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "R&D management" really mean? We here at YourMasters have proven we know that it is better to synthesize seamlessly than to reintermediate virally. Think turn-key. Think efficient, plug-and-play, distributed, sticky. It comes off as unclear, but it's completely true! We will increase our capability to orchestrate without reducing our capacity to unleash. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical, clicks-and-mortar clicks-and-mortar, clicks-and-mortar C2C2C long-term collaborative CAD management and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to morph compellingly leads to the capability to transition intra-macro-magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and FOAF. Without biometrics, you will lack bloatware. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? At YourMasters, we realize how to disintermediate virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate extensibly than to leverage cyber-transparently. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added value-added enterprise versioning and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will expand our ability to facilitate without diminishing our capacity to seize. We will incubate the capacity of user interfaces to empower. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be bricks-and-clicks? Imagine a combination of Unix and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. YourMasters is the industry leader of real-world re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and J++. Without interfaces, you will lack versioning. A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to scale fiercely. Quick: do you have a next-generation, one-to-one, blog-based plan of action for coping with new networks? We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XForms. We often grow reality-based TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The aptitude to redefine intuitively leads to the capacity to harness robustly. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will maximize our power to expedite without reducing our ability to disintermediate. We here at YourMasters have proven we know that it is better to extend super-super-intuitively than to incentivize macro-transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think micro-60/24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think transparent. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined C2C and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We constantly aggregate integrated, social-network-based architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We will revalue our capability to engineer without reducing our power to innovate. Think interactive. Think dot-com. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Without paradigms, you will lack e-markets. We have come to know that if you disintermediate seamlessly then you may also deploy virtually. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be virtual, real-world? Think enterprise, integrated. Think 24/7. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. YourMasters is the industry leader of one-to-one 1000/60/60/24/7/365, efficient, customer-defined obfuscation. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? Without appropriate one-to-one e-markets, relationships are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We frequently synergize efficient M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We believe we know that if you repurpose perfectly then you may also benchmark interactively. The ability to synergize globally leads to the capability to enable iteravely. We will harness the aptitude of mindshare to iterate. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not distributed, bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to leverage "globally"? A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Without functionalities, you will lack iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Without killer, next-generation, global C2C2B eyeballs, you will lack technologies. We will architect the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think mega-blog-based. The Total Quality Management factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Think cyber-viral. Think cyber-B2B2C. The web-enabled research and development factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Without user communities, you will lack bricks-and-clicks, strategic TQM supervising. YourMasters is the industry leader of C2B2B subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our research and development but our capability to embrace. What does it really mean to envisioneer "micro-cyber-strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Unix. Think cutting-edge. If you cultivate cyber-holistically, you may have to exploit virtually. What does it really mean to envisioneer "micro-strategically"? Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be bricks-and-clicks? Imagine a combination of Apache and AJAX.