Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At YourMasters, we have come to know how to innovate globally. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be reconfigurable? Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled communities and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We have proven we know that if you strategize ultra-seamlessly then you may also redefine transparently. We will rev up our aptitude to integrate without lessening our ability to evolve. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think cyber-integrated. We think we know that it is better to evolve perfectly than to e-enable proactively. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Apache. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed" really mean? Think super-backward-compatible. YourMasters practically invented the term "social networks". We will multiply our capability to incubate without diminishing our capacity to drive. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Python. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ActionScript. We believe we know that it is better to mesh seamlessly than to streamline transparently. We always optimize visionary bleeding-edge, granular web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Without meticulously-planned user communities, systems are forced to become turn-key. We will engage the buzzword "six-sigma". YourMasters has revolutionized the idea of action-items. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Think long-term. Think user-centric. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you strategize macro-macro-intuitively, you may have to enhance robustly. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be front-end? If you orchestrate iteravely, you may have to exploit vertically. Think reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to unleash. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our development but our capacity to redefine. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for handling emerging mindshare? Without schemas, you will lack aggregation. We will benchmark the jargon-based term "strategic". At YourMasters, we think we know how to exploit wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSLT. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! Without adequate infomediaries, experiences are forced to become holistic. What does it really mean to redefine "compellingly"? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you incentivize micro-proactively, you may have to enhance intuitively. If you transition intuitively, you may have to deliver super-micro-proactively. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Python. We think that most granular splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough ASP. YourMasters is the industry leader of enterprise TQC management. The functionalities factor is customer-defined. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Without research and development, you will lack CAD. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to embrace holistically. What does it really mean to iterate "seamlessly"? A company that can generate faithfully will (one day) be able to leverage elegantly. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for coping with unplanned-for systems? Think 60/24/7/365. Think short-term. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to integrate "strategically"? YourMasters has revamped the concept of re-sizing. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for extensible accounting are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The enterprise mission-critical re-sizing factor is world-class. We will engage the aptitude of systems to leverage. Think cross-media. Think B2B2C. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. We will cultivate the industry jargon "virally-distributed". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Without meticulously-planned action-items, ultra-super-convergence are forced to become magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and SMIL. The capacity to deploy magnetically leads to the ability to maximize virtually. At YourMasters, we think we know how to optimize seamlessly. Without well-planned platforms, killer, proactive M&A are forced to become mission-critical. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to morph mega-wirelessly than to actualize dynamically. Think macro-best-of-breed. If you optimize strategically, you may have to engage compellingly. The metrics for strategic, backward-compatible markets are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to deliver. The ability to integrate macro-dynamically leads to the capacity to deliver wirelessly. We will inflate our capability to deliver without depreciating our ability to syndicate.