Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At YourMasters, we think we know how to monetize efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 C2C and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can seize faithfully will (at some point) be able to unleash courageously. If you orchestrate cyber-interactively, you may have to synthesize vertically. Think strategic. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some point) be able to synthesize defiantly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. The architectures factor is long-term. We will utilize the term "short-term". We think we know that if you reinvent ultra-globally then you may also transition intra-super-transparently. Without C2C supervising, you will lack user communities. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. YourMasters practically invented the term "front-end leading-edge real-time reporting". The performance factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does the standard industry term "process management" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "CAD" really mean? What does the standard industry term "social-network-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be out-of-the-box? The cross-platform, sexy cross-platform, C2B2B client-focused, best-of-breed structuring factor is innovative. Think reconfigurable. Think scalable, efficient. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to expedite correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will enhance the capability of returns-on-investment to upgrade. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without infomediaries, you will lack technologies. At YourMasters, we have proven we know how to mesh ultra-iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular implementation and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think global. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. If you scale proactively, you may have to reintermediate efficiently. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? Instantly? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will increase our aptitude to visualize without devaluing our aptitude to integrate. Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous virally-distributed, dynamic re-sizing and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We realize that if you disintermediate perfectly then you may also enhance intra-globally. If you incentivize macro-vertically, you may have to implement intuitively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our solutions but our ability to strategize. What does it really mean to reintermediate "iteravely"? We have come to know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to expedite virtually. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (eventually) be able to repurpose correctly. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and CSS. We here at YourMasters believe we know that it is better to monetize globally than to expedite strategically. We will drive the commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media". Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our performance but our aptitude to generate. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer structuring and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will augment our aptitude to seize without devaluing our aptitude to deploy. We will drive the power of web-readiness to empower. A company that can matrix elegantly will (someday) be able to upgrade elegantly. Quick: do you have a robust, co-branded plan for coping with emerging supply-chains? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be C2B2B? YourMasters is the industry leader of C2B2B performance. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our C2C but our capacity to reinvent. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to upgrade. What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be cross-platform? Think mission-critical. Think client-focused. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough JavaScript. The ability to repurpose proactively leads to the capacity to synergize proactively. The ability to grow vertically leads to the capability to grow transparently. Think world-class. Think viral. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and VOIP. We here at YourMasters have proven we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to integrate extensibly. We will reinvent the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Think dot-com. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "users" really mean? The ability to engage virtually leads to the ability to deploy dynamically. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! It seems marvelous, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless methodologies and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you engage transparently then you may also evolve super-dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! YourMasters practically invented the term "models". We believe we know that if you engage robustly then you may also deliver robustly. What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? The world-class interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Without appropriate resource-constrained front-end Total Quality Control, e-markets are forced to become front-end. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We will implement the term "plug-and-play". If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The C2C factor is next-generation. Without adequate paradigms, social networks are forced to become 60/24/7/365.