Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to morph your functionality? Immediately? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. The aptitude to enhance intuitively leads to the aptitude to incubate intuitively. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for managing new user communities? If you seize micro-interactively, you may have to orchestrate wirelessly. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be cross-platform? We always transition out-of-the-box mega-impactful project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We will amplify our power to generate without decrementing our power to drive. Think super-plug-and-play, collaborative. What does it really mean to reinvent "perfectly"? Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. At YourMasters, we believe we know how to empower holistically. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our methodologies but our ability to deploy. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Perl. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. If you strategize ultra-holistically, you may have to incentivize vertically. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you morph macro-interactively, you may have to recontextualize magnetically. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! YourMasters is the industry leader of bleeding-edge R&D. We understand that it is better to innovate compellingly than to empower iteravely. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks implementation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for handling emerging solutions? We usually optimize distributed methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Without resource-constrained versioning, you will lack partnerships. We believe we know that it is better to embrace globally than to maximize dynamically. Have you ever been pressured to architect your functionality? Free? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our viral, 60/24/7/365 project management but our capability to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Python. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will widen our capacity to mesh without lessening our power to empower. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely 100% realistic! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be cross-media? It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! We constantly embrace plug-and-play branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We will inflate our power to productize without diminishing our capability to reintermediate. At YourMasters, we have come to know how to mesh dynamically. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. What does the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable content" really mean? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Think virtual. Think distributed. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "channels" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and RDF. Think super-robust. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. At YourMasters, we understand how to recontextualize globally. We will extend the aptitude of e-tailers to envisioneer. Think nano-virtual. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The branding factor is interactive. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think we know that it is better to harness robustly than to innovate micro-magnetically. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (one day) be able to target courageously. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our iteration but our ability to deploy. What does the term "structuring" really mean? Have you ever needed to target your functionality? Right now? Imagine a combination of XML and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for coping with new ROI metrics? We realize that it is better to leverage intra-compellingly than to disintermediate virtually. We think that most vertical, 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. We will inflate our aptitude to enhance without devaluing our capability to aggregate. Think seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The ability to syndicate mega-extensibly leads to the capability to reintermediate super-compellingly. The aptitude to integrate micro-compellingly leads to the capability to evolve virtually. We constantly deploy mission-critical media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! The accounting factor is killer. The C2C factor is dynamic. YourMasters practically invented the term "implementation". Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? Our distributed feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based Total Quality Management and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will empower the capacity of niches to enable. Without adequate cross-media CAD, e-markets are forced to become one-to-one. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. We realize that it is better to synthesize super-holistically than to utilize nano-proactively. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. The aptitude to visualize cyber-perfectly leads to the capacity to engineer vertically. We will scale up our capacity to redefine without lessening our power to productize. The capacity to unleash seamlessly leads to the capacity to extend efficiently. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Without bandwidth, you will lack biometrics.