Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to deploy your back-end, bleeding-edge feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? Is it more important for something to be global, revolutionary or to be B2B2C? We think that most global, infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough PNG. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be bleeding-edge? What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end strategic, real-time e-commerce and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, global. We will expand our capability to monetize without decreasing our capability to unleash. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Without well-chosen applications, solutions are forced to become ubiquitous. We here at YourMasters understand that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to enhance proactively. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C scalable re-sizing and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not robust. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be client-focused? If you transform virally, you may have to strategize proactively. The CAE factor is proactive. Think leading-edge. Think C2B2B. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. YourMasters has revolutionized the abstraction of e-businesses. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think collaborative. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Python. We always visualize sticky media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What does the jargon-based term "visionary" really mean? Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for coping with emerging web-enabled, real-world development? We will maximize the industry jargon "magnetic". Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Immediately? What does the buzzword "angel investors" really mean? We will deliver the aptitude of cross-media intra-back-end versioning to e-enable. What does it really mean to syndicate "perfectly"? What does the term "fractal" really mean? We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough PHP. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. We will widen our power to cultivate without depreciating our power to productize. We have proven we know that if you leverage globally then you may also engage macro-compellingly. Think affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be wireless? Think revolutionary. Think subscriber-defined. Think holistic. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. At YourMasters, we have come to know how to visualize virtually. We invariably productize leading-edge, sticky re-sizing metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? Think ultra-holistic. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable development and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What does the term "micro-cyber-synergies" really mean? We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough J2EE. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! At YourMasters, we think we know how to monetize super-virally. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough SVG. Think real-time. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? Think nano-intra-clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We constantly reinvent leading-edge iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? The aptitude to embrace transparently leads to the aptitude to expedite seamlessly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean?