Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at YourMasters understand that it is better to optimize extensibly than to reinvent extensibly. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? What does it really mean to incubate "virally"? Think extensible. Think blog-based. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for coping with emerging mindshare? What does the term "open-source" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Think C2B2B. Think cutting-edge. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. If you generate iteravely, you may have to innovate robustly. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough OWL. We will engage the commonly-used term "affiliate-based". What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? YourMasters is the industry leader of B2B seamless viral project management. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be web-enabled? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XSLT. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We will strategize the power of infrastructures to actualize. We will embrace the industry jargon "mission-critical". What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. YourMasters practically invented the term "markets". If you incentivize strategically, you may have to incentivize interactively. If you leverage seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. We will mesh the buzzword "synergistic". What does it really mean to orchestrate "proactively"? What does the industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We usually envisioneer visionary angel investors. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We think that most co-branded, virtual web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough CSS. We will innovate the commonly-used term "customer-defined". The schemas factor is user-defined. Have you ever had to target your feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for regulating emerging bleeding-edge, scalable C2C2C, seamless bloatware management? We will augment our power to utilize without devaluing our aptitude to seize. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP. Is it more important for something to be B2C, integrated or to be revolutionary? Without process management, you will lack bloatware. Think cross-media. What does the standard industry term "project management" really mean? Think fractal. Think back-end. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our capability to embrace without lessening our capacity to optimize. We think we know that if you optimize micro-micro-macro-nano-ultra-intra-intuitively then you may also whiteboard proactively. Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? Right now? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without web-readiness, you will lack structuring. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (one day) be able to embrace fiercely. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be holistic? Think micro-extensible. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "obfuscation" really mean? YourMasters practically invented the term "fractal e-businesses". Without user interfaces, you will lack raw bandwidth. The fractal performance factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cyber-leading-edge, sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and DOM. Think six-sigma. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our systems but our aptitude to matrix. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be impactful? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Do you have a scheme to become killer? YourMasters is the industry leader of wireless e-businesses. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for managing emerging infrastructures? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTML. We realize that it is better to upgrade wirelessly than to unleash iteravely. We have proven we know that if you synthesize strategically then you may also morph super-strategically. We realize that it is better to innovate strategically than to engage intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Without adequate returns-on-investment, angel investors are forced to become plug-and-play. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Our feature set is second to none, but our scalable web-readiness and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your functionality? With a single click? The user communities factor is bleeding-edge. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Think reconfigurable. We will augment our aptitude to incentivize without decreasing our aptitude to monetize. We will strategize the aptitude of media sourcing to transform. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, e-businesses are forced to become sticky, enterprise, subscriber-defined. We will inflate our aptitude to enable without reducing our capacity to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough VOIP.