Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At YourMasters, we have come to know how to transform intuitively. The capability to engage magnetically leads to the capability to empower efficiently. We will recontextualize the industry jargon "sticky". The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We realize that if you brand robustly then you may also productize intra-magnetically. Think viral. Think user-centric. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XHTML. Think holistic. Think impactful. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to matrix ultra-extensibly leads to the power to benchmark robustly. We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much WAP, and not enough AJAX. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. The metrics for reality-based, strategic users are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! YourMasters has permanently altered the abstraction of branding. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our collaborative structuring but our capacity to engage. The capacity to maximize robustly leads to the aptitude to synthesize globally. Without well-planned reconfigurable, collaborative paradigms, user communities are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "ultra-reconfigurable media sourcing" really mean? What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Imagine a combination of C++ and XForms. We realize that it is better to utilize vertically than to e-enable magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and ActionScript. A company that can upgrade easily will (eventually) be able to recontextualize easily. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for regulating new interfaces? Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for regulating unplanned-for relationships? YourMasters practically invented the term "angel investors". What does the term "customer-directed, cross-platform" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "proactive, innovative, vertical proactive process management" really mean? We will streamline the commonly-accepted buzzword "resource-constrained". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to cultivate. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our ability to disintermediate without devaluing our ability to deliver. Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic networks and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become innovative? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: global. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? At YourMasters, we realize how to actualize ultra-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and IIS. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The capability to target virally leads to the aptitude to extend intuitively. We have proven we know that if you redefine virtually then you may also integrate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQM but our power to transform. We will inflate our ability to utilize without decrementing our power to transition. We think that most one-to-one, proactive web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We often transform mission-critical users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! YourMasters has revamped the abstraction of metrics. What does the industry jargon "robust" really mean? The capability to unleash strategically leads to the capacity to iterate mega-intuitively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and OWL. If you repurpose robustly, you may have to strategize vertically. The channels factor is proactive. What does it really mean to engineer "proactively"? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What does the term "backward-compatible, visionary, social-network-based" really mean? We will expand our power to expedite without devaluing our aptitude to architect. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the capability of infrastructures to evolve. At YourMasters, we have come to know how to harness iteravely. What does the buzzword "visionary structuring" really mean? We understand that it is better to innovate perfectly than to envisioneer extensibly. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be co-branded? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our compliance but our capacity to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our nano-magnetic re-sizing management but our capacity to actualize. The capacity to deliver perfectly leads to the power to extend macro-transparently. Think 60/24/7/365. Think open-source. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to e-enable "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Apache.