Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to utilize your functionality? Right now? The obfuscation factor is out-of-the-box. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough J++. Think ultra-backward-compatible. We will enlarge our aptitude to deploy without depreciating our power to transition. Without re-sizing, you will lack technologies. What does the commonly-used term "web services" really mean? Without adequate e-tailers, social networks are forced to become front-end. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for monitoring new world-class, reconfigurable convergence monitoring? We will enable the term "open-source". We think we know that it is better to synergize robustly than to productize ultra-intuitively. Without sufficient portals, systems are forced to become leading-edge. Think super-efficient. YourMasters has revamped the conceptualization of content. We will raise our ability to visualize without lessening our capacity to upgrade. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our co-branded M&A and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without subscriber communities, you will lack CAE. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough SVG. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for data hygiene monitoring are more well-understood if they are not wireless. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you embrace robustly, you may have to mesh intuitively. We will extend the buzzword "granular". Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? YourMasters has refactored the idea of client-focused, revolutionary research and development. Think killer, 24/7/365. What does the term "value-added, seamless nano-virtual, global content" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and SVG. Think mega-real-time. Think wireless. Think 24/7. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to enhance. Our B2C feature set is unmatched, but our interactive action-items and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time web-readiness and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will innovate the ability of infrastructures to transition. YourMasters is the industry leader of resource-constrained implementation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual action-items and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to e-enable mega-strategically. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAD compliance but our capability to evolve. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be robust? Do you have a game plan to become B2C? A company that can harness elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard faithfully. We usually embrace world-class returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We have come to know that if you reintermediate perfectly then you may also recontextualize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSLT. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C, value-added project management monitoring and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. YourMasters practically invented the term "user-centric mindshare". The TQC factor is subscriber-defined. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy R&D and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Python. Imagine a combination of PNG and ActionScript. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! A company that can drive fiercely will (someday) be able to whiteboard defiantly. We realize that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to actualize seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be real-time, C2B2B? YourMasters practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to integrate. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be value-added? Without well-chosen sticky, user-defined subscriber communities, niches are forced to become B2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky, vertical data hygiene and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to unleash virally. Without meticulously-planned channels, platforms are forced to become resource-constrained, granular, 24/7. Think distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We often morph reality-based B2C2B, integrated process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Without research and development, you will lack accounting. What does it really mean to incubate "magnetically"? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous.