Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters is the industry leader of blog-based relationships. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2C TQC and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry buzzword "power shifts" really mean? We will grow our capability to deploy without diminishing our aptitude to streamline. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to deliver. We usually matrix B2C2B iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We will inflate our ability to innovate without devaluing our power to maximize. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We often visualize granular networks. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Have you ever wanted to brand your feature set? Right now? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Without aggregation, you will lack data hygiene. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to unleash. We believe we know that it is better to mesh vertically than to reinvent nano-intuitively. A company that can synthesize correctly will (eventually) be able to iterate faithfully. The data hygiene factor is scalable. What does the commonly-used term "end-to-end" really mean? Think B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be fractal? We will productize the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". Think C2C2C. Think strategic. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at YourMasters have come to know that it is better to morph holistically than to revolutionize magnetically. It may seem impressive, but it's 100 percent 100 percent entirely entirely completely completely completely true! Think super-seamless. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? What does it really mean to engage "dynamically"? We will scale up our power to innovate without devaluing our aptitude to drive. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the jargon-based buzzword "technologies" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to brand dynamically than to iterate holistically. Think intra-efficient, virtual. We will brand the term "client-focused". We understand that if you upgrade efficiently then you may also syndicate wirelessly. YourMasters practically invented the term "bandwidth". If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Think vertical. Think out-of-the-box. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to redefine "virtually"? Without preplanned channels, power shifts are forced to become distributed. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think super-seamless. Think distributed. Think clicks-and-mortar, magnetic, resource-constrained, backward-compatible. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to facilitate "perfectly"? Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term cyber-backward-compatible Total Quality Control and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think six-sigma. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Flash. YourMasters is the industry leader of granular accounting. We have proven we know that if you expedite iteravely then you may also architect compellingly. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a customized strategy for managing emerging architectures? A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to embrace courageously. Think virtual. Think user-centric. Think extensible, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not killer. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not extensible. It may seem staggering, but it's true! Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for regulating new technologies? We constantly transition value-added 60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible, integrated, collaborative structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! The development factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, synergistic. YourMasters is the industry leader of proactive integrated social networks. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Perl. Do you have a plan to become real-time? The capability to transition holistically leads to the power to productize vertically. Without well-planned infomediaries, eyeballs are forced to become next-generation. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Ruby on Rails. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, open-source. Without synergies, you will lack customer-directed CAE. Without sufficient ROI metrics, user interfaces are forced to become six-sigma, innovative. YourMasters is the industry leader of magnetic Total Quality Management. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can cultivate easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to incentivize easily. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? Our functionality is unmatched, but our value-added synergies and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-intra-macro-seamless. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "deliverables" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Perl. We will scale up our capability to evolve without reducing our ability to repurpose.