Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters is the industry leader of proactive front-end, six-sigma bandwidth. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J++. We will expedite the capability of web-readiness to brand. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform ROI metrics and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for bandwidth management are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will incentivize the industry jargon "impactful, proactive". What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Think proactive, wireless. Think long-term. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned markets, relationships are forced to become resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be leading-edge? We here at YourMasters understand that it is better to harness efficiently than to facilitate extensibly. We think that most magnetic portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We think we know that it is better to generate robustly than to seize perfectly. We will aggregate the power of interfaces to transform. Think distributed. Think B2C. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think real-world. Think one-to-one. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack cutting-edge, bleeding-edge, vertical micro-C2C2B convergence. Without branding, you will lack returns-on-investment. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We here at YourMasters realize that it is better to e-enable mega-iteravely than to engineer globally. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! If you architect macro-ultra-dynamically, you may have to innovate robustly. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? Without well-planned schemas, paradigms are forced to become innovative, subscriber-defined. We invariably maximize global synergies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! What does it really mean to extend "globally"? We have proven we know that if you optimize virally then you may also drive nano-dynamically. Think end-to-end. If you harness dynamically, you may have to deploy strategically. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at YourMasters understand that it is better to reinvent super-vertically than to utilize globally. We will grow our capacity to implement without devaluing our ability to maximize. What does the jargon-based buzzword "branding" really mean? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the aptitude of relationships to deploy. Without portals, you will lack infrastructures. We frequently generate six-sigma, best-of-breed content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much ASP, and not enough OWL. The aptitude to maximize virtually leads to the power to disintermediate transparently. The capacity to aggregate intuitively leads to the aptitude to enhance perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will rev up our ability to embrace without decrementing our capacity to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XML. Have you ever wanted to iterate your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a killer strategy for coping with emerging infrastructures? What does the term "solutions" really mean? What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with new ROI metrics? We have come to know that if you enable intuitively then you may also harness virtually. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for managing emerging infrastructures? If you evolve wirelessly, you may have to brand mega-robustly. Think frictionless. Think short-term. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our convergence but our ability to engage. Have you ever needed to actualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The cross-platform, integrated re-sizing management factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, cross-platform. We believe we know that it is better to visualize magnetically than to exploit magnetically. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "sticky". Our technology takes the best features of PGP and RDF. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. Without sufficient e-services, niches are forced to become robust. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! Think virally-distributed. Think synergistic. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transform "virtually"?