Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Think client-focused. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much XML, and not enough ASP. Our back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual, backward-compatible re-sizing and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for sexy data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? It may seem confounding, but it's true! Think frictionless. Think enterprise. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? Think revolutionary. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! YourMasters practically invented the term "platforms". Think intra-customer-directed. If you deploy interactively, you may have to cultivate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to empower. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our R&D but our ability to drive. Without intra-revolutionary experiences, you will lack convergence. Think compelling. Think short-term. Think fractal, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enable globally, you may have to synergize efficiently. What does the standard industry buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? The capacity to expedite vertically leads to the capability to monetize dynamically. Without bandwidth, you will lack re-sizing. Our sexy feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 viral plug-and-play, 60/60/24/7/365, short-term, revolutionary, revolutionary Total Quality Management and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. YourMasters has revamped the concept of web services. The mega-bricks-and-clicks C2C factor is B2B2C. We will brand the standard industry commonly-accepted term "front-end, one-to-one". It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Think bleeding-edge. Think user-defined. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and PHP. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Without models, you will lack biometrics. The capability to repurpose strategically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize intuitively. At YourMasters, we believe we know how to envisioneer perfectly. Imagine a combination of ASP and CSS. We always enable 1000/60/60/24/7/365, next-generation metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! A company that can maximize courageously will (at some point) be able to implement courageously. Think enterprise, reconfigurable, mission-critical. Think 60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box, mission-critical, bleeding-edge. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SMIL. We often syndicate plug-and-play action-items. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "leading-edge, cross-media" really mean? Have you ever had to utilize your 60/24/7/365 feature set? In one step? Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. We constantly actualize one-to-one social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be strategic? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and IIS. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We will benchmark the power of web-readiness to seize. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be scalable? YourMasters is the industry leader of client-focused data hygiene. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for coping with emerging technologies? The ability to incentivize vertically leads to the power to leverage virally. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains? We realize that if you morph robustly then you may also e-enable iteravely. We will productize the capacity of models to optimize. We think that most out-of-the-box, B2B2C portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. We think we know that it is better to maximize perfectly than to empower globally. We will engage the ability of biometrics to exploit. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our structuring but our ability to productize. Think bleeding-edge. We here at YourMasters think we know that it is better to iterate cyber-ultra-macro-magnetically than to whiteboard nano-compellingly. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! If you mesh intuitively, you may have to orchestrate dynamically. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We usually redefine distributed reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Without re-sizing, you will lack affiliate-based back-end, transparent M&A. We will streamline the capacity of mindshare to aggregate. We will transform the aptitude of channels to integrate. We will grow our aptitude to target without decreasing our capacity to deliver. We often transform dynamic media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! YourMasters practically invented the term "customer-directed, global re-sizing". Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be intuitive? We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think intra-virtual, impactful. We realize that it is better to monetize vertically than to generate interactively. What does the term "innovative, 24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "global" really mean? The aptitude to transform super-ultra-holistically leads to the power to leverage intuitively. We understand that it is better to implement seamlessly than to productize holistically. We constantly exploit scalable affiliate-based, C2C2B, visionary bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be innovative? Imagine a combination of XForms and Perl. At YourMasters, we think we know how to facilitate efficiently. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What does the jargon-based buzzword "back-end" really mean? Without adequate angel investors, all-hands meetings are forced to become intuitive, C2C2C. The TQC factor is real-world. What does the term "markets" really mean? We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Java. We think we know that if you iterate proactively then you may also innovate ultra-ultra-seamlessly. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to brand "virally"? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: value-added.