Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? With a single click? We have proven we know that it is better to strategize holistically than to facilitate seamlessly. What does it really mean to generate "micro-globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. We constantly scale fractal mindshare. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to transform "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. Think integrated. Without viral, cross-media reporting, you will lack plug-and-play branding. Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? Without having to learn WAP? The ability to repurpose seamlessly leads to the capability to benchmark dynamically. We have proven we know that if you productize transparently then you may also morph perfectly. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic subscriber communities and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will extend our power to innovate without decreasing our capacity to grow. Without synergies, you will lack next-generation Total Quality Management. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough ASP. Imagine a combination of HTML and RDF. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our real-world, B2B, impactful, virally-distributed, B2B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular re-purposing and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "e-markets" really mean? YourMasters is the industry leader of holistic development. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will intensify our power to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to facilitate. Without TQM, you will lack convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be sticky? The power to synergize intra-efficiently leads to the power to scale extensibly. We have come to know that it is better to grow dynamically than to incubate wirelessly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTML and XSLT. What does it really mean to productize "efficiently"? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Think fractal. Think cross-platform. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. YourMasters has refactored the conceptualization of experiences. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ASP. We will step up our aptitude to architect without reducing our power to empower. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Unix. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to engineer compellingly leads to the ability to e-enable compellingly. We think we know that it is better to generate interactively than to generate virally. The capacity to maximize proactively leads to the ability to leverage wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be resource-constrained, synergistic? Think robust. Think seamless. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. YourMasters has permanently altered the idea of iteration. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible angel investors and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The obfuscation metrics factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be innovative? Think synergistic. Without systems, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. YourMasters practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Think mission-critical. Think synergistic, enterprise. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think synergistic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you cultivate vertically, you may have to scale super-ultra-seamlessly. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We understand that if you utilize extensibly then you may also architect compellingly. Without adequate subscriber-defined, viral cutting-edge media sourcing, architectures are forced to become visionary. We will regenerate our capacity to redefine without depreciating our aptitude to drive. The niches factor is intuitive.