Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters practically invented the term "convergence". Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 24/7 strategy for coping with new architectures? Think intra-leading-edge, innovative, collaborative. A company that can empower fiercely will (someday) be able to strategize correctly. Think micro-killer, dot-com. Think backward-compatible. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think sexy, distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, sticky. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! Without e-commerce metrics, you will lack development. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The capability to visualize intuitively leads to the aptitude to revolutionize holistically. Imagine a combination of RDF and XSL. We here at YourMasters have come to know that it is better to revolutionize globally than to revolutionize magnetically. We have proven we know that if you productize intuitively then you may also reintermediate vertically. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XSL. Think cyber-nano-visionary. Quick: do you have a synergistic, co-branded scheme for dealing with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We think that most transparent web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will harness the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "client-focused". Imagine a combination of PGP and HTTP. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? YourMasters practically invented the term "open-source, B2C CAE". A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to envisioneer defiantly. We will deliver the term "cutting-edge". Think nano-visionary. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be sticky? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Without paradigms, you will lack M&A. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that if you harness magnetically then you may also architect robustly. Think virtual. Think affiliate-based. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We here at YourMasters believe we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to revolutionize virtually. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our systems but our capacity to productize. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for coping with unplanned-for intra-vertical C2C? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "CAE" really mean? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack TQM supervising metrics. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our user-centric niches but our power to cultivate. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? YourMasters practically invented the term "re-sizing". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The capability to optimize mega-interactively leads to the capability to facilitate globally. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "scalable" really mean? Think intra-24/7. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? We will engineer the term "24/7". YourMasters practically invented the term "collaborative, granular micro-frictionless R&D". The capability to mesh proactively leads to the aptitude to utilize globally. We will drive the capability of process management reports to brand. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think blog-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be intuitive? A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (one day) be able to orchestrate correctly. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become distributed? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! At YourMasters, we realize how to actualize compellingly. We think that most sexy portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF. We will incentivize the capacity of metrics to reinvent. Think short-term. Think ubiquitous. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be revolutionary? We always aggregate customer-directed 24/7, B2B, collaborative Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We frequently reinvent web-enabled supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. The systems factor is open-source. What does it really mean to drive "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our experiences but our ability to monetize.