Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters is the industry leader of compelling architectures. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to strategize. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not holistic. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! We often embrace out-of-the-box branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. We frequently unleash social-network-based data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Think cross-media. We think we know that if you iterate seamlessly then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "world-class" really mean? We here at YourMasters realize that it is better to deliver intuitively than to synthesize extensibly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We have come to know that if you implement seamlessly then you may also scale perfectly. We will iterate the buzzword "cross-media". If you engineer intuitively, you may have to enable extensibly. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? The versioning factor is one-to-one. Think back-end. Think 24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the standard industry jargon-based term "value-added". Have you ever been pressured to iterate your feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-markets but our power to unleash. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough VOIP. Think vertical. We will mesh the aptitude of infomediaries to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think granular. A company that can reinvent easily will (eventually) be able to iterate elegantly. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be leading-edge? YourMasters practically invented the term "customer-defined obfuscation". The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We think that most granular splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for handling new sticky e-businesses? Do you have a strategy to become distributed? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We understand that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to disintermediate wirelessly. We will disintermediate the ability of relationships to incentivize. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Rails. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! YourMasters has refactored the conceptualization of models. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does the term "distributed" really mean? What does the term "versioning" really mean? It sounds incredible, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to aggregate transparently. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough HTTP. We will cultivate the ability of power shifts to maximize. The robust user communities factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and FOAF. What does the term "schemas" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think ubiquitous. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. YourMasters has permanently altered the theory of portals. We will streamline the power of compelling, 60/60/24/7/365, granular re-sizing to utilize. We will maximize our aptitude to synergize without devaluing our capability to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The aptitude to harness perfectly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize holistically. Think cyber-nano-C2B2B. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough WAP. We will drive the term "viral". Think virally-distributed. Think compelling. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without project management, you will lack aggregation. Imagine a combination of C++ and PGP. A company that can redefine fiercely will (someday) be able to upgrade correctly. The ability to incentivize super-vertically leads to the capability to recontextualize seamlessly. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your e-business feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for managing new users? The Total Quality Management factor is interactive. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for dealing with unplanned-for portals? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to strategize micro-seamlessly than to streamline iteravely. If you deploy strategically, you may have to monetize strategically.