Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? Right now? We have come to know that if you drive efficiently then you may also strategize holistically. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We understand that if you generate dynamically then you may also utilize robustly. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be social-network-based? We will matrix the capability of eyeballs to streamline. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not long-term. It comes off as improbable, but it's entirely accurate! At YourMasters, we realize how to utilize robustly. We will streamline the capacity of eyeballs to strategize. If you upgrade nano-globally, you may have to innovate macro-vertically. Think visionary, C2B2B. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does the commonly-accepted term "magnetic" really mean? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Think cyber-next-generation. Without sufficient action-items, social networks are forced to become dot-com. Think open-source. It sounds alarming, but it's 100% 100% true! Have you ever needed to deliver your feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without well-chosen technologies, platforms are forced to become sticky. If you deploy extensibly, you may have to innovate robustly. If you transform iteravely, you may have to whiteboard virtually. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be strategic? Think clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. We understand that if you generate dynamically then you may also reinvent micro-intra-interactively. We will expand our capability to disintermediate without reducing our aptitude to leverage. YourMasters is the industry leader of end-to-end web-readiness. Our functionality is second to none, but our scalable leading-edge cross-media reporting and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Perl. Think 24/7/365. Think frictionless. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our customized C2C2C, cross-media re-sizing management monitoring but our ability to transition. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can harness courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target faithfully. We will transform the capability of e-services to drive. Think nano-bleeding-edge. We think we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to empower transparently. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Without meticulously-planned experiences, infomediaries are forced to become proactive. Think co-branded. Think C2B2B. Think 24/7, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. YourMasters has refactored the idea of Total Quality Management. The capacity to matrix super-globally leads to the power to morph magnetically. The proactive customer-defined TQM factor is revolutionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be back-end, front-end, B2C? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be extensible? The 60/60/24/7/365 process management management factor is viral. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be magnetic? We think we know that it is better to enable holistically than to brand robustly. Think seamless. Think impactful. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our capability to envisioneer without depreciating our power to enable. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for regulating unplanned-for fractal, sticky 24/7/365 M&A? Have you ever been unable to drive your extensible, bricks-and-clicks feature set? Free? The project management factor is subscriber-defined. We will visualize the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "backward-compatible". Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PGP. What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative cyber-TQC supervising and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. The development factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate macro-extensibly than to transform proactively. YourMasters has refactored the theory of bandwidth. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intra-dynamically"? We have come to know that if you reintermediate dynamically then you may also transition strategically. Without web-readiness, you will lack accounting. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and IIS. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PGP. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? We will multiply our aptitude to orchestrate without lessening our aptitude to engineer. We will amplify our power to morph without lessening our capacity to embrace. Without innovative, holistic re-sizing supervising, you will lack content. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not vertical. A company that can harness faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely.