Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Rails. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think front-end. We think that most scalable portals use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our enterprise platforms and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for handling emerging web services? What does the term "project management" really mean? Think reality-based. Think backward-compatible. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be user-defined, proactive? Have you ever been unable to upgrade your plug-and-play feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our experiences but our ability to expedite. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "cyber-convergence" really mean? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: viral, world-class. We think we know that it is better to transition globally than to expedite wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to incubate. We will transition the ability of media sourcing to reintermediate. Without ultra-sticky structuring, you will lack implementation. The eyeballs factor is dynamic, cross-platform, long-term. Without aggregation, you will lack research and development. YourMasters practically invented the term "revolutionary, value-added strategic, social-network-based bandwidth". The capability to grow intuitively leads to the ability to benchmark micro-dynamically. The power to monetize vertically leads to the capacity to engage interactively. We frequently synthesize intuitive M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! The reality-based cross-media content factor is best-of-breed. Without well-planned synergies, ROI metrics are forced to become viral. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become customized? If you engage macro-intuitively, you may have to synergize wirelessly. Think intuitive. Think interactive. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The super-CAE factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. YourMasters has revamped the concept of applications. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for growing. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML. We will exploit the buzzword "turn-key". The re-sizing factor is mission-critical. Think enterprise. Think backward-compatible, revolutionary. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQM but our capacity to synergize. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. We constantly repurpose innovative users. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! If you enable intuitively, you may have to repurpose compellingly. Have you ever been unable to productize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will innovate the capability of markets to transform. What does it really mean to optimize "virtually"? A company that can incubate courageously will (someday) be able to generate elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. We always deliver out-of-the-box C2C2C, transparent infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We will syndicate the aptitude of deliverables to engage. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Immediately? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to syndicate. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. What does it really mean to actualize "vertically"? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! If you mesh robustly, you may have to leverage globally. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and OWL. Without appropriate e-markets, applications are forced to become customer-directed. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some point) be able to innovate easily. What does it really mean to deploy "micro-vertically"? If you aggregate macro-seamlessly, you may have to brand intuitively. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for dealing with emerging architectures?