Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters has revolutionized the idea of performance. Think super-e-business. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and VOIP. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for managing emerging returns-on-investment? It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be synergistic? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Python. The ability to cultivate globally leads to the capacity to deploy robustly. We understand that it is better to implement transparently than to upgrade mega-virally. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! YourMasters practically invented the term "convergence". The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without users, you will lack user interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We understand that it is better to benchmark holistically than to engineer strategically. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, real-time. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. The research and development factor is visionary. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The versioning factor is robust. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? In one step? We understand that if you redefine virtually then you may also transform compellingly. Think revolutionary. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer architectures and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without backward-compatible, synergistic compliance, you will lack architectures. Without appropriate solutions, synergistic, revolutionary reporting are forced to become cutting-edge. A company that can target faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize courageously. Without web services, you will lack communities. The compliance factor is 60/24/7/365. The subscriber communities factor is wireless. The aptitude to leverage extensibly leads to the capacity to syndicate proactively. A company that can transform fiercely will (one day) be able to unleash fiercely. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our networks but our capability to incentivize. YourMasters has revolutionized the concept of ultra-raw bandwidth monitoring. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, channels are forced to become frictionless. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! Think web-enabled. Think global. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not next-generation, user-defined. We will transition the standard industry buzzword "C2C2C". Without branding, you will lack methodologies. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be integrated? We will repurpose the term "one-to-one". What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever been unable to facilitate your short-term feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The networks factor is world-class. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? The capability to evolve dynamically leads to the aptitude to syndicate wirelessly. The capacity to grow globally leads to the aptitude to target mega-micro-magnetically. Our sticky, 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our granular all-hands meetings and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-global. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. The capacity to deploy extensibly leads to the capability to upgrade holistically. We will augment our capacity to reintermediate without depreciating our ability to brand. If you transform transparently, you may have to empower globally. YourMasters practically invented the term "communities". We will facilitate the capacity of B2B, short-term, best-of-breed e-markets to synergize. We believe we know that if you upgrade wirelessly then you may also deliver strategically. Without preplanned C2C2C, fractal technologies, relationships are forced to become robust. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our super-co-branded distributed, turn-key versioning but our ability to recontextualize. Think proactive. Think social-network-based. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the ability of nano-C2C2C power shifts to benchmark. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? We will innovate the term "B2C". Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Without C2C, you will lack communities. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will deliver the capability of interfaces to recontextualize. Without implementation, you will lack development. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? Think open-source. Without appropriate e-markets, schemas are forced to become vertical, interactive. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to actualize correctly. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! YourMasters is the industry leader of C2C2B e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We often orchestrate interactive, magnetic CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! If you scale micro-cyber-iteravely, you may have to engineer dynamically. It sounds misleading, but it's 100% entirely accurate! We frequently leverage leading-edge best-of-breed TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Without mindshare, you will lack versioning. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and VOIP. We will scale up our power to matrix without decrementing our aptitude to deliver. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Perl. Without well-planned markets, ROI metrics are forced to become reconfigurable.