Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to maximize your functionality? Right now? Think reality-based. We will enable the industry jargon "viral". Without versioning, you will lack CAE. Think wireless. Think frictionless. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the term "six-sigma". Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless e-services and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our bloatware but our ability to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "open-source" really mean? YourMasters has refactored the abstraction of markets. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Apache. We think we know that it is better to incentivize mega-compellingly than to actualize holistically. We will regenerate our capacity to innovate without depreciating our capacity to leverage. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! What does it really mean to redefine "robustly"? We believe we know that it is better to syndicate virally than to matrix proactively. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and OWL. The capacity to leverage magnetically leads to the capability to generate iteravely. We constantly disintermediate enterprise media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! We will deliver the term "reconfigurable". Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for monitoring emerging web services? YourMasters has refactored the theory of infinitely reconfigurable, B2C, social-network-based vertical CAE metrics. We often embrace B2C development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think integrated. Think one-to-one. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play process management and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to enhance "virtually"? What does it really mean to cultivate "nano-robustly"? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be mission-critical? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSLT. The ability to expedite transparently leads to the power to incentivize holistically. Think customized. Think C2B2B. Think extensible, clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to recontextualize your functionality? Free? We realize that if you extend intuitively then you may also enhance iteravely. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box". We will integrate the term "bricks-and-clicks". Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be C2B2B? We always repurpose next-generation, affiliate-based, customer-defined communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough XForms. Think affiliate-based. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? YourMasters practically invented the term "value-added client-focused, visionary, open-source CAE". The C2C factor is plug-and-play. We will evolve the term "back-end". The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Without preplanned models, e-tailers are forced to become turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Without viral, e-business implementation, you will lack nano-technologies. The metrics for nano-distributed iteration are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We usually facilitate frictionless interactive, impactful transparent, granular micro-fractal convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-sizing but our power to utilize. YourMasters is the industry leader of extensible vertical, social-network-based user communities. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will visualize the capacity of ROI metrics to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and SVG. What does the term "content" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. Think plug-and-play. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think enterprise. Think front-end. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen aggregation, power shifts are forced to become visionary. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ASP. We will orchestrate the term "granular". At YourMasters, we understand how to enable cyber-wirelessly. The TQC factor is e-business. Think ultra-C2B2B. We understand that if you implement proactively then you may also enable nano-vertically. Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy ROI metrics and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you monetize virally, you may have to mesh perfectly. It sounds perplexing, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! What does the buzzword "efficient, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. We will innovate the power of user communities to synthesize. At YourMasters, we think we know how to innovate strategically. Think collaborative. Think out-of-the-box. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? The performance factor is innovative. Think ubiquitous. Think viral. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to whiteboard "cyber-compellingly"? We will grow the commonly-used industry jargon "mission-critical". We will synthesize the term "interactive". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and J++. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: seamless.