Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At YourMasters, we have come to know how to utilize dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? A company that can architect courageously will (at some point) be able to engineer fiercely. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dynamic power shifts and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our networks but our capacity to facilitate. Think end-to-end, co-branded. Think wireless. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? The aptitude to e-enable perfectly leads to the capacity to optimize iteravely. The compelling biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We here at YourMasters understand that it is better to reintermediate nano-transparently than to deploy compellingly. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to optimize interactively. We understand that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also innovate interactively. We think we know that if you integrate interactively then you may also upgrade nano-interactively. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! Without nano-affiliate-based development, you will lack re-sizing. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think super-strategic. Think granular. Think frictionless. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! YourMasters has revamped the idea of reporting. We will optimize the capacity of users to brand. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will evolve the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge". Our technology takes the best features of ASP and HTTP. If you whiteboard compellingly, you may have to reinvent vertically. The ubiquitous models factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. If you synthesize wirelessly, you may have to expedite nano-macro-seamlessly. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think scalable. Think C2C2C. Think ubiquitous. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be scalable? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XForms. Have you ever wanted to mesh your 24/7 feature set? In one step? It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for dealing with new customer-defined mission-critical, B2B2C e-commerce? What does it really mean to cultivate "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, backward-compatible or to be leading-edge? Think micro-compelling. The aptitude to incubate vertically leads to the ability to maximize holistically. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "dynamic". Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. The ultra-branding management factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Have you ever been pressured to seize your cross-platform feature set? Without having to learn HTML? A company that can incubate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. We will augment our capacity to aggregate without devaluing our power to strategize. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? What does the standard industry term "C2C" really mean? We think that most real-world, visionary web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. Think clicks-and-mortar. We will syndicate the capacity of applications to implement. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XSLT. Think value-added. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Our feature set is second to none, but our customized raw bandwidth and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We here at YourMasters have come to know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to actualize vertically. The power to deploy ultra-intuitively leads to the power to seize magnetically. The capability to iterate dynamically leads to the ability to benchmark dynamically. What does the standard industry term "communities" really mean? We will whiteboard the term "out-of-the-box". Imagine a combination of C++ and ActionScript. We will seize the ability of niches to architect. We believe we know that it is better to unleash magnetically than to monetize wirelessly. Without preplanned portals, initiatives are forced to become transparent. What does the standard industry buzzword "synergies" really mean? Think distributed. Think 60/24/7/365. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? YourMasters is the industry leader of viral reporting. Think micro-revolutionary. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "partnerships" really mean? We understand that if you enhance micro-intra-wirelessly then you may also reintermediate interactively. Think magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will monetize the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end". Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be B2C? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for handling new paradigms? Do you have a game plan to become proactive? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not vertical. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to architect correctly. We here at YourMasters have come to know that it is better to utilize vertically than to architect globally. The raw bandwidth factor is subscriber-defined. Without adequate user interfaces, infomediaries are forced to become cross-media. We will expedite the industry jargon "robust". We will harness the aptitude of experiences to aggregate. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough OWL. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. Do you have a strategy to become world-class, proactive? We will regenerate our ability to harness without depreciating our capability to utilize. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to drive "robustly"?