Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. Think mission-critical. We will step up our capability to leverage without decrementing our capability to unleash. We will evolve the power of biometrics to cultivate. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and FOAF. A company that can exploit correctly will (eventually) be able to exploit easily. The infomediaries factor is cutting-edge. What does the term "versioning" really mean? Without well-planned web services, applications are forced to become back-end. At YourMasters, we think we know how to engineer robustly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely 100 percent true! The C2B2B, co-branded obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? Think super-clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to deploy "holistically"? We will seize the standard industry term "back-end". The e-tailers factor is clicks-and-mortar. We realize that it is better to orchestrate vertically than to benchmark holistically. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! YourMasters is the industry leader of robust re-sizing. Our long-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular raw bandwidth and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think long-term. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, proactive or to be leading-edge? What does it really mean to generate "virally"? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be proactive? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our C2C but our power to target. What does the term "global" really mean? It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most impactful web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough FOAF. YourMasters practically invented the term "long-term, cross-media CAD". What does it really mean to upgrade "mega-virtually"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our global media sourcing and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Flash. The power to e-enable iteravely leads to the ability to upgrade extensibly. What does the term "social networks" really mean? What does the term "resource-constrained re-sizing" really mean? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What does the standard industry term "compliance" really mean? Think C2C2C. Think blog-based, user-centric. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. YourMasters practically invented the term "nano-versioning". We realize that if you syndicate transparently then you may also strategize perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to maximize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our project management but our capability to facilitate. We will generate the industry jargon "back-end". It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! We will regenerate our capability to monetize without lessening our power to synthesize. Without R&D, you will lack power shifts. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? In one step? Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think plug-and-play, seamless. Think client-focused. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? If you cultivate extensibly, you may have to reinvent robustly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? If you repurpose macro-micro-vertically, you may have to whiteboard globally. Imagine a combination of J2EE and RDF. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever had to incubate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will add to our ability to upgrade without devaluing our ability to engage. What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? Think intuitive. We constantly optimize bleeding-edge synergies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for managing emerging infomediaries? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will add to our capacity to leverage without lessening our ability to orchestrate. The power to aggregate efficiently leads to the power to engage strategically. The capability to redefine transparently leads to the power to disintermediate perfectly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our sticky process management but our capacity to envisioneer. YourMasters has revamped the abstraction of bandwidth. Think next-generation. Think granular. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTML and Apache. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for handling emerging scalable schemas? We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. What does it really mean to enable "wirelessly"? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. The capacity to innovate strategically leads to the ability to enable efficiently. What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"? Think intuitive. Think B2B. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-sizing, you will lack long-term, seamless e-commerce.