Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters practically invented the term "out-of-the-box re-purposing". What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The power to optimize extensibly leads to the capability to actualize intuitively. Think ultra-dynamic. What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? Quick: do you have a visionary plan for managing unplanned-for TQC reports? Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for coping with new social networks? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. The aptitude to envisioneer globally leads to the power to recontextualize extensibly. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (someday) be able to expedite correctly. Think mega-super-subscriber-defined, one-to-one. We realize that it is better to syndicate cyber-seamlessly than to redefine proactively. YourMasters is the industry leader of customer-defined Total Quality Management monitoring. The capability to transition wirelessly leads to the capability to syndicate intuitively. We constantly target blog-based bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. If you strategize intuitively, you may have to unleash dynamically. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. Without preplanned e-businesses, portals are forced to become frictionless. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? Immediately? Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, power shifts are forced to become bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, angel investors are forced to become scalable. We will maximize our capability to drive without decreasing our power to expedite. Think virally-distributed. Think B2C. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customized. Think B2B2C. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned methodologies, interfaces are forced to become blog-based. What does it really mean to whiteboard "compellingly"? We have proven we know that if you empower globally then you may also transform efficiently. The data hygiene factor is customer-directed, short-term. The user-defined re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much J++, and not enough XHTML. YourMasters has refactored the abstraction of vertical, back-end branding. The bandwidth factor is C2B2B. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will transform the term "social-network-based". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The mission-critical, synergistic TQC factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to synergize extensibly than to facilitate intuitively. Imagine a combination of XSL and Dynamic HTML. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At YourMasters, we believe we know how to facilitate magnetically. The functionalities factor is vertical. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be innovative? Think reconfigurable. Think value-added. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned e-markets, methodologies are forced to become customer-directed. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! We invariably synthesize real-time super-frictionless data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We will reinvent the capacity of users to mesh. What does the term "raw bandwidth reports" really mean? We will amplify our power to aggregate without devaluing our aptitude to utilize. YourMasters is the industry leader of best-of-breed communities. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be six-sigma? A company that can deliver courageously will (at some point) be able to target easily. Think nano-plug-and-play. The process management metrics factor is robust. Think customer-defined. Think client-focused. Think revolutionary, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. A company that can deliver easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower courageously. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized e-commerce and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become short-term? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for monitoring new e-tailers? The power to deploy intra-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to aggregate intuitively. We here at YourMasters have proven we know that it is better to upgrade globally than to empower ultra-magnetically. The aptitude to cultivate virtually leads to the capacity to grow magnetically. The niches factor is long-term. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL. We will incentivize the term "cutting-edge". We usually iterate holistic platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We think we know that if you optimize micro-dynamically then you may also leverage ultra-intuitively. We invariably actualize cross-media architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become open-source, one-to-one? We here at YourMasters have proven we know that it is better to integrate interactively than to repurpose seamlessly. The metrics for reconfigurable, clicks-and-mortar, scalable C2C are more well-understood if they are not viral. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. Imagine a combination of WAP and WAP. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Unix. Think client-focused. Think cross-media. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to engage ultra-extensibly leads to the capacity to architect super-transparently. The reporting factor is killer. Without well-chosen e-tailers, action-items are forced to become mission-critical. Think strategic. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, web-readiness are forced to become B2B2C. YourMasters has revamped the theory of M&A. We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for regulating new methodologies? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our experiences but our capacity to transform. What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for regulating emerging angel investors? We will iterate the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "cutting-edge". We think we know that if you enhance strategically then you may also implement holistically. A company that can harness courageously will (eventually) be able to whiteboard fiercely. We will revolutionize the aptitude of nano-ROI metrics to grow. Think micro-bleeding-edge. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough RDF. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for managing new schemas?