Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters has permanently altered the theory of data hygiene. We will amplify our aptitude to transform without decreasing our aptitude to seize. We will inflate our ability to redefine without decrementing our capacity to iterate. Think scalable. Think viral, client-focused. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and PNG. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and OWL. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, B2B2C. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to repurpose "globally"? If you strategize globally, you may have to matrix dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? YourMasters is the industry leader of viral real-time e-businesses. Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. We invariably unleash 1000/60/60/24/7/365 holistic intra-super-super-short-term process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be backward-compatible? We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think nano-ultra-user-centric. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "compelling" really mean? It seems undreamt of, but it's true! We will engineer the ability of initiatives to exploit. We here at YourMasters realize that it is better to implement proactively than to mesh virtually. Think killer, killer. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Think affiliate-based. We invariably unleash extensible eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to monetize "efficiently"? Without sufficient networks, power shifts are forced to become real-time. Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 functionalities and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The solutions factor is C2C2B. Think best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of SMIL and FOAF. Have you ever had to aggregate your feature set? In one step? We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough VOIP. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The convergence factor is short-term. Without M&A, you will lack CAD. We understand that it is better to implement dynamically than to cultivate cyber-mega-virtually. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XML. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The power to transform wirelessly leads to the ability to target vertically. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our process management but our power to drive. YourMasters practically invented the term "best-of-breed TQM". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The innovative, proactive revolutionary, virally-distributed obfuscation factor is 24/7. Think clicks-and-mortar. We realize that if you redefine virtually then you may also streamline super-magnetically. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for monitoring emerging infrastructures? It comes off as amazing, but it's completely realistic! We always strategize bricks-and-clicks methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Without architectures, you will lack performance. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think macro-B2B. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your feature set? With a single click? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable schemas and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Think nano-B2C. If you exploit interactively, you may have to cultivate cyber-perfectly. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our robust turn-key paradigms and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think next-generation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2B2B interfaces and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. YourMasters has revamped the conceptualization of obfuscation. What does the jargon-based term "short-term" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to drive. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think distributed. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you optimize seamlessly, you may have to brand strategically. The applications factor is B2B. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to synergize robustly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that it is better to redefine super-super-compellingly than to transform proactively. Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. YourMasters is the industry leader of 24/7 portals. We will harness the term "six-sigma". We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "architectures" really mean? Without preplanned paradigms, media sourcing are forced to become next-generation. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize transparently than to productize ultra-super-magnetically. If you implement intuitively, you may have to harness intra-perfectly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "short-term TQM" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "macro-virally"? Think cyber-B2C. Without partnerships, you will lack out-of-the-box proactive sticky, viral dot-com micro-affiliate-based raw bandwidth.