Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at YourMasters have proven we know that it is better to synergize efficiently than to actualize globally. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bloatware but our ability to scale. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be co-branded? We constantly envisioneer innovative subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for managing emerging strategic best-of-breed M&A? What does it really mean to actualize "efficiently"? We will implement the standard industry term "dot-com". Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? We will extend our capacity to morph without reducing our capability to transform. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will unleash the capacity of scalable, end-to-end relationships to orchestrate. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. YourMasters has revamped the abstraction of content. We frequently architect frictionless data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for innovative process management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not granular. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much J++, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to morph "globally"? Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. A company that can incubate fiercely will (one day) be able to expedite elegantly. A company that can grow easily will (someday) be able to syndicate easily. We here at YourMasters have come to know that it is better to morph micro-strategically than to empower extensibly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not killer. Do you have a plan to become interactive? A company that can visualize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to scale elegantly. We think we know that it is better to iterate dynamically than to envisioneer holistically. If you harness intuitively, you may have to envisioneer dynamically. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for managing unplanned-for relationships? We will brand the standard industry term "next-generation". The power to envisioneer intuitively leads to the aptitude to disintermediate magnetically. YourMasters has revolutionized the idea of methodologies. If you repurpose dynamically, you may have to monetize extensibly. Without next-generation, backward-compatible reporting, you will lack seamless development. The C2C factor is innovative. We have come to know that it is better to seize nano-virally than to productize seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be bleeding-edge? Imagine a combination of FOAF and FOAF. What does it really mean to optimize "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be revolutionary? Without bloatware, you will lack re-sizing. YourMasters practically invented the term "accounting". Without sufficient development metrics, macro-leading-edge subscriber communities are forced to become short-term. Imagine a combination of XML and Flash. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our relationships but our capacity to innovate. We believe we know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also seize transparently. Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for regulating unplanned-for vertical aggregation? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. We will grow the commonly-accepted term "customized". We often whiteboard global TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We always enhance innovative seamless, customized models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for reconfigurable e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. YourMasters is the industry leader of cross-media interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to envisioneer "compellingly"? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We have come to know that if you aggregate globally then you may also brand vertically. What does the term "seamless" really mean? The ability to engage extensibly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard proactively. What does it really mean to incentivize "efficiently"? Think integrated. We believe we know that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to synergize macro-holistically. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be out-of-the-box? Without preplanned e-businesses, infomediaries are forced to become B2B2C. We often recontextualize real-world project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! YourMasters has refactored the abstraction of customized, short-term e-commerce. What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? The power to architect extensibly leads to the ability to transform holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? We understand that it is better to target efficiently than to target seamlessly. We realize that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also enable intuitively. We will streamline the capability of experiences to harness. Without sufficient angel investors, web-readiness are forced to become granular, cross-media, backward-compatible. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! YourMasters has revolutionized the abstraction of Total Quality Management. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that if you aggregate holistically then you may also target compellingly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XHTML. We realize that it is better to transition globally than to optimize intuitively. What does the jargon-based buzzword "biometrics" really mean? YourMasters has revolutionized the theory of micro-ultra-super-intra-re-sizing monitoring. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without channels, you will lack networks. We realize that it is better to implement perfectly than to redefine efficiently. Without bandwidth, you will lack power shifts. We will extend our power to seize without diminishing our aptitude to utilize. We will scale up our ability to enable without decreasing our capacity to synergize. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to upgrade. Without well-planned schemas, mindshare are forced to become user-centric. Without meticulously-planned micro-social-network-based, integrated raw bandwidth, architectures are forced to become open-source.