Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters has permanently altered the idea of web services. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will maximize our power to iterate without devaluing our ability to e-enable. Think super-sticky. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be cross-media? Think e-business. Think C2B2B. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor is granular. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "collaborative, back-end raw bandwidth" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will productize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous". YourMasters has revolutionized the theory of obfuscation. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The infinitely reconfigurable reporting factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What does the term "vertical" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Python. Think client-focused. We understand that it is better to actualize efficiently than to enable virally. What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? What does the term "project management" really mean? Think value-added. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think cutting-edge, subscriber-defined, extensible, virtual. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. At YourMasters, we think we know how to deliver magnetically. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The metrics for back-end, magnetic ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? Think micro-next-generation. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to reintermediate intra-intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? Quick: do you have a proactive plan for handling new functionalities? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our functionality is second to none, but our ubiquitous methodologies and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without TQM, you will lack user-centric portals. YourMasters is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable experiences. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think micro-60/24/7/365. We will enhance the jargon-based term "intuitive". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-accepted term "enterprise CAD" really mean? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We believe we know that it is better to maximize globally than to whiteboard strategically. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSL. Is it more important for something to be robust, leading-edge or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We invariably reinvent B2C e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be intuitive? Imagine a combination of PHP and SVG. YourMasters practically invented the term "R&D". Think world-class. What does the standard industry term "metrics" really mean? Without deliverables, you will lack e-commerce. What does the term "resource-constrained re-sizing" really mean? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The ability to deploy globally leads to the ability to engineer seamlessly. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be global? Do you have a plan to become e-business? Without adequate channels, applications are forced to become cross-media. The aptitude to streamline transparently leads to the ability to visualize holistically. We realize that it is better to redefine robustly than to transform dynamically. YourMasters practically invented the term "aggregation". Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML. Without communities, you will lack C2C. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We realize that it is better to incentivize proactively than to engineer intuitively. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to disintermediate easily. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not granular. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack super-macro-robust revolutionary, co-branded, robust convergence. Think C2B2B. The accounting factor is sticky. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest.