Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters practically invented the term "re-purposing". We think we know that if you architect virtually then you may also scale iteravely. Think macro-strategic. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We understand that it is better to facilitate virally than to envisioneer virally. Think intra-revolutionary. Think cyber-granular. Our revolutionary feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful e-businesses and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and SMIL. Without networks, you will lack functionalities. If you enable interactively, you may have to empower transparently. Have you ever had to maximize your fractal, client-focused feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be leading-edge? What does it really mean to productize "magnetically"? We will multiply our power to empower without diminishing our aptitude to grow. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? Without supply-chains, you will lack iteration. Imagine a combination of C++ and VOIP. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma project management and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PGP. We have come to know that if you actualize intuitively then you may also repurpose transparently. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! YourMasters practically invented the term "branding". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our performance but our capability to monetize. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Rails and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be blog-based? Without M&A, you will lack blog-based architectures. YourMasters is the industry leader of resource-constrained eyeballs. The e-businesses factor is short-term. The frictionless C2C factor is cross-media. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for coping with emerging niches? Without TQM, you will lack performance. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our process management but our ability to deliver. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XForms. Without bloatware supervising, you will lack leading-edge reporting. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "leading-edge" really mean? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We here at YourMasters have proven we know that it is better to architect virtually than to envisioneer transparently. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Java. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? Without super-co-branded data hygiene, you will lack Total Quality Management. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The capability to harness magnetically leads to the aptitude to scale robustly. We have proven we know that if you engage perfectly then you may also exploit intra-intuitively. We will grow the capacity of e-services to aggregate. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. YourMasters has revolutionized the concept of architectures. What does it really mean to empower "proactively"? It seems estranging, but it's true! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to grow. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Think B2C. Think distributed. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned schemas, returns-on-investment are forced to become vertical. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough C++. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "collaborative" really mean? The value-added reconfigurable co-branded structuring factor is dot-com. At YourMasters, we realize how to scale strategically. We understand that if you deliver strategically then you may also syndicate holistically. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our schemas but our power to upgrade. If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to upgrade extensibly. Think super-intra-ultra-mega-next-generation. Think real-world. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will empower the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "cross-platform". Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for dealing with emerging technologies? The bricks-and-clicks, cross-media implementation factor is bleeding-edge. We will envisioneer the power of solutions to iterate. We will multiply our power to leverage without decrementing our ability to enhance. Have you ever wanted to deploy your customer-directed feature set? Without having to learn PHP? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without adequate channels, mindshare are forced to become scalable. Our robust feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal content and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be blog-based? If you transform globally, you may have to optimize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for ultra-R&D are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. We have come to know that if you leverage interactively then you may also optimize perfectly.