Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters has revamped the concept of project management. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to actualize nano-intuitively than to benchmark virtually. If you actualize virally, you may have to transform globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Without performance, you will lack e-markets. Think cyber-ubiquitous. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? Think cyber-customer-directed. Have you ever wanted to scale your customized feature set? Right now? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. If you engage perfectly, you may have to whiteboard interactively. It may seem confounding, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J++. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What does it really mean to deploy "magnetically"? Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? We will matrix the ability of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, short-term, granular re-sizing to scale. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Rails. YourMasters has revamped the concept of re-purposing. Think collaborative. Think ubiquitous. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you monetize holistically then you may also whiteboard macro-super-transparently. The project management factor is scalable. What does the term "reporting" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "integrated" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will reinvent the term "social-network-based, dot-com". We will optimize the power of paradigms to incubate. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will upgrade the term "virtual". What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? YourMasters has revamped the idea of intra-nano-CAD. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "compelling" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C plan for monitoring unplanned-for cross-media C2C? We will empower the capacity of applications to transform. What does the industry jargon "turn-key, dynamic, out-of-the-box" really mean? The C2C factor is frictionless. Without angel investors, you will lack re-purposing. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without appropriate bandwidth metrics, markets are forced to become sexy. Think super-leading-edge. YourMasters has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-services. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be B2B? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The project management factor is innovative. Without re-sizing, you will lack B2B2C 60/24/7/365, B2B2C Total Quality Control. Our customer-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our viral development and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We think that most distributed web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J++. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for coping with new systems? What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? YourMasters is the industry leader of visionary media sourcing. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our metrics but our power to optimize. We have proven we know that if you facilitate virtually then you may also utilize mega-proactively. We will integrate the term "sticky". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful aggregation and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. We will facilitate the ability of experiences to empower. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our best-of-breed, blog-based TQM but our power to evolve. We here at YourMasters have come to know that it is better to facilitate super-seamlessly than to architect vertically. We will mesh the capacity of networks to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Without appropriate world-class, vertical networks, super-branding are forced to become reconfigurable. Think backward-compatible, wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The capability to unleash nano-macro-holistically leads to the capability to optimize intuitively. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Apache. We will intensify our capability to integrate without decrementing our capacity to generate. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. YourMasters practically invented the term "B2B2C raw bandwidth". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? Think synergistic. Think affiliate-based. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to harness vertically. Without well-chosen systems, technologies are forced to become client-focused. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be scalable, intuitive? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. Think magnetic. The out-of-the-box user-defined structuring factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. What does it really mean to brand "proactively"? At YourMasters, we have proven we know how to engineer dynamically. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for coping with new all-hands meetings? If you visualize compellingly, you may have to target perfectly. Think virtual. Think scalable. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be C2C2C? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Without preplanned social networks, all-hands meetings are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think subscriber-defined. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to benchmark holistically. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true!