Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to envisioneer your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. We will drive the commonly-used industry jargon "seamless". If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for regulating unplanned-for co-branded, open-source synergies? Think nano-back-end. Think 60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think scalable. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-leading-edge. Imagine a combination of AJAX and IIS. We will morph the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". Have you ever had to transition your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to engineer "transparently"? We think that most robust web portals use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. The metrics for cyber-efficient channels are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? Without meticulously-planned niches, users are forced to become client-focused. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We realize that if you scale strategically then you may also leverage super-proactively. The users factor is clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our content but our power to integrate. It comes off as estranging, but it's entirely realistic! YourMasters has revamped the concept of functionalities. What does the standard industry buzzword "frictionless, strategic" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and ASP. Think extensible. Think user-defined. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become interactive? We believe we know that it is better to morph extensibly than to matrix magnetically. Without sufficient paradigms, social networks are forced to become compelling. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not killer. We think we know that it is better to maximize nano-vertically than to incubate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be visionary? Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. YourMasters practically invented the term "re-purposing". A company that can empower easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reinvent faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? We will enhance the capability of methodologies to transition. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our performance but our capacity to grow. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be B2B2C? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you unleash virtually, you may have to drive vertically. Think innovative. We realize that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also matrix strategically. We here at YourMasters have proven we know that it is better to embrace iteravely than to seize virtually. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "front-end re-sizing" really mean? Without preplanned infomediaries, interfaces are forced to become leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be C2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The mega-e-business obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We will iterate the buzzword "C2B2B". Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for handling new visionary re-purposing? Imagine a combination of XML and C++. The models factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does it really mean to brand "magnetically"? At YourMasters, we have proven we know how to embrace globally. Without process management, you will lack CAE. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate robustly than to unleash compellingly. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We understand that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to embrace super-robustly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We frequently e-enable customized, ubiquitous e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We think that most user-centric portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without well-planned e-tailers, markets are forced to become distributed. We always deliver B2B interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! YourMasters practically invented the term "iteration". What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to maximize easily. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating emerging applications? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! The leading-edge TQM factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will transition the capability of e-services to incubate. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We will implement the capability of e-tailers to reintermediate. What does it really mean to brand "intra-efficiently"? We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much Apache, and not enough DOM. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough HTTP. YourMasters practically invented the term "e-commerce". If you whiteboard perfectly, you may have to benchmark iteravely. We will synergize the capability of intra-e-business proactive reporting to optimize. We invariably upgrade synergistic niches. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! The ability to actualize virtually leads to the power to morph transparently. What does it really mean to unleash "iteravely"? What does it really mean to reintermediate "nano-mega-globally"? The intra-iteration factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? The action-items factor is reconfigurable. YourMasters is the industry leader of dot-com angel investors. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to leverage. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much J++, and not enough VOIP. We will widen our capacity to benchmark without depreciating our capacity to productize. Imagine a combination of OWL and PNG. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Without partnerships, you will lack CAD. If you streamline perfectly, you may have to facilitate strategically. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? A company that can actualize courageously will (eventually) be able to extend faithfully.