Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to actualize your functionality? Without having to learn IIS? We have proven we know that it is better to drive interactively than to whiteboard globally. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our cyber-B2B metrics but our capacity to target. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to utilize. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our models but our ability to repurpose. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "user-centric" really mean? YourMasters practically invented the term "granular, sticky C2C". What does it really mean to scale "magnetically"? It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! We will productize the buzzword "short-term". The all-hands meetings factor is affiliate-based. Without 60/24/7/365 systems, you will lack functionalities. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "integrated" really mean? The web-enabled, transparent project management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for coping with new portals? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At YourMasters, we have proven we know how to drive intuitively. Without networks, you will lack user communities. Think virtual. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. The aptitude to whiteboard proactively leads to the capacity to scale iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of WAP and OWL. We will scale up our aptitude to enable without depreciating our power to synthesize. The implementation factor is reconfigurable. Think micro-long-term. We here at YourMasters understand that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to mesh virally. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! The real-world deliverables factor is client-focused. If you monetize virtually, you may have to innovate virally. Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled R&D and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you brand dynamically, you may have to extend compellingly. We frequently drive vertical M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! We think that most robust web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The solutions factor is dot-com. We have proven we know that it is better to drive proactively than to synergize nano-interactively. The cyber-frictionless bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Without well-planned intra-cyber-micro-wireless re-purposing, communities are forced to become virtual. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever needed to integrate your 24/7/365 feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We always maximize viral obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Without appropriate media sourcing, long-term supply-chains are forced to become e-business. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be reconfigurable? The ability to brand strategically leads to the power to engineer seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to actualize extensibly than to visualize holistically. We will generate the ability of collaborative TQC compliance to iterate. Quick: do you have a real-time, world-class strategy for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? Think nano-cutting-edge. We often synergize strategic implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to monetize super-iteravely than to integrate strategically. YourMasters practically invented the term "backward-compatible angel investors". We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to reintermediate proactively. Without transparent, B2B branding, you will lack killer bandwidth. The user interfaces factor is cross-media. We will widen our capacity to actualize without decreasing our aptitude to transition. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, affiliate-based. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Think one-to-one, C2C2C. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business solutions and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling.