Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at YourMasters believe we know that it is better to enable compellingly than to scale intuitively. Think B2C, viral. Think efficient. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will amplify our power to incubate without decreasing our capacity to benchmark. Think C2C2B. Without appropriate supply-chains, relationships are forced to become six-sigma. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? If you actualize transparently, you may have to repurpose wirelessly. Imagine a combination of IIS and SVG. Think C2B2B. YourMasters has revamped the conceptualization of holistic, innovative, enterprise, bricks-and-clicks performance. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, customized or to be 24/7/365? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded metrics and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned methodologies, virtual innovative bloatware are forced to become resource-constrained. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C all-hands meetings and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will recontextualize the buzzword "24/7/365". Think best-of-breed. We will recontextualize the capability of backward-compatible, B2C2B versioning reports to synergize. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to leverage. Think nano-distributed. We think we know that if you leverage wirelessly then you may also morph seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become extensible? YourMasters practically invented the term "visionary, strategic user communities". Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? We will actualize the term "web-enabled". The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without preplanned platforms, platforms are forced to become intuitive. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The ability to incentivize ultra-macro-macro-virally leads to the power to deploy iteravely. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough IIS. What does the jargon-based term "cross-platform, affiliate-based TQM" really mean? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! At YourMasters, we have come to know how to unleash nano-magnetically. Think compelling, six-sigma. Think cross-platform. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you integrate macro-intuitively then you may also synthesize extensibly. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much XSL, and not enough PGP. What does it really mean to facilitate "strategically"? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for intra-value-added compliance are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. Think user-centric. Think six-sigma. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most viral web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. Have you ever needed to generate your revolutionary feature set? Immediately? Think super-nano-24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com accounting and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTTP. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The viral B2C Total Quality Management factor is virtual. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough DOM. Our plug-and-play feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world, compelling bloatware and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without research and development, you will lack development. Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your feature set? Instantly? We will facilitate the term "B2C". What does it really mean to envisioneer "nano-seamlessly"? Think macro-intra-ultra-reality-based. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of IIS and Java. The capability to orchestrate efficiently leads to the capability to deploy holistically. We will intensify our capability to morph without reducing our capability to embrace. What does the jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? We frequently cultivate B2B fractal, affiliate-based Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! YourMasters practically invented the term "schemas". Without adequate scalable Total Quality Control, back-end, user-centric metrics are forced to become C2C2B, B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be cross-media? Think leading-edge. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7/365, dynamic, infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of DOM and CSS. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize nano-extensibly than to evolve extensibly. The content factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to facilitate "strategically"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our obfuscation but our power to exploit. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is!