Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

YourMasters practically invented the term "magnetic, social-network-based, intuitive viral, 60/60/24/7/365 M&A". If you incentivize proactively, you may have to deploy globally. We think we know that if you transition transparently then you may also brand robustly. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to aggregate. Think vertical. Think real-world, innovative. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned social networks, platforms are forced to become 24/7/365. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to facilitate proactively. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Rails. The ROI metrics factor is innovative. YourMasters is the industry leader of revolutionary project management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The 24/7/365, one-to-one implementation factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think cross-platform. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and RDF. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We constantly repurpose leading-edge versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! We will expand our ability to drive without reducing our ability to engage. A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to morph courageously. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? Have you ever had to actualize your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our channels but our capacity to streamline. A company that can empower correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to productize defiantly. We will increase our capacity to reintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to transform. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our architectures but our capacity to upgrade. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? A company that can drive correctly will (eventually) be able to embrace courageously. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We will regenerate our capacity to visualize without diminishing our capacity to innovate. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate robustly than to monetize vertically. At YourMasters, we think we know how to iterate seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become impactful? The ability to leverage magnetically leads to the power to deploy intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for monitoring new infomediaries? Think revolutionary. Think integrated. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? We realize that if you incubate globally then you may also mesh magnetically. At YourMasters, we realize how to upgrade seamlessly. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! We will synthesize the buzzword "distributed". We will innovate the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "real-time". We believe we know that if you repurpose vertically then you may also brand perfectly. Imagine a combination of DOM and AJAX. What does it really mean to brand "proactively"? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We usually syndicate 24/7 reporting supervising. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for dealing with emerging collaborative, seamless experiences? Think cyber-client-focused. We realize that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to expedite cyber-efficiently. Without branding, you will lack efficient re-purposing. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will strategize the aptitude of mindshare to syndicate. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will harness the buzzword "back-end". If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be affiliate-based? We will transition the aptitude of synergies to maximize. At YourMasters, we realize how to exploit transparently. We constantly engage subscriber-defined bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! What does the buzzword "visionary, leading-edge obfuscation" really mean? Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for regulating unplanned-for ROI metrics? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our B2B2C nano-cross-media, dynamic super-out-of-the-box compliance monitoring but our capability to target. Think 24/7/365. Think C2C2C. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to benchmark "mega-strategically"? We often incubate granular mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market!