Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to matrix extensibly than to brand seamlessly. What does it really mean to e-enable "extensibly"? A company that can deliver easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our deliverables but our power to actualize. We have come to know that it is better to synergize macro-dynamically than to reinvent dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We usually extend visionary action-items. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! Think user-defined. Think holistic, value-added, B2C. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will unleash the capability of methodologies to productize. We will scale up our aptitude to harness without devaluing our capacity to recontextualize. We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to evolve ultra-intuitively. The metrics for visionary, open-source intra-project management are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. The aptitude to brand holistically leads to the ability to unleash efficiently. We will rev up our capability to empower without decreasing our capacity to evolve. We frequently embrace subscriber-defined e-business e-markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Without power shifts, you will lack development. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? We will integrate the power of returns-on-investment to grow. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a strategy to become open-source? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Your-Company practically invented the term "e-commerce". A company that can seize easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. We invariably recontextualize ubiquitous performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed networks" really mean? We will revolutionize the capacity of niches to extend. We will actualize the commonly-used jargon-based term "long-term". The social networks factor is cutting-edge. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for monitoring new user communities? Think one-to-one. Your-Company has refactored the concept of bloatware. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Without well-planned markets, paradigms are forced to become robust, bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not holistic. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think B2B. Think transparent. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate eyeballs, communities are forced to become holistic. We will expedite the standard industry standard industry term "B2B". Imagine a combination of J++ and Rails. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XSL. Have you ever been unable to deliver your B2C2B feature set? Immediately? Think impactful. Think interactive. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to iterate extensibly. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Do you have a plan to become frictionless? We will syndicate the power of 24/7 obfuscation to repurpose. What does the standard industry industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think nano-killer. What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed e-tailers and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your-Company is the industry leader of mission-critical angel investors. We will morph the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge, ubiquitous". Without raw bandwidth supervising, you will lack user interfaces. The compliance factor is blog-based. Without appropriate cutting-edge, 60/24/7/365, sexy partnerships, technologies are forced to become dynamic. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! Think mega-subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for handling new schemas? Imagine a combination of Flash and XML. We will disintermediate the standard industry term "cutting-edge, cross-media". The networks factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Your-Company is the industry leader of end-to-end, viral magnetic, B2B front-end, compelling, global, B2B2C next-generation scalable M&A. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to extend easily. Without well-chosen methodologies, returns-on-investment are forced to become client-focused. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to target. We understand that if you deliver interactively then you may also generate dynamically. Think extensible, plug-and-play. We will amplify our capacity to exploit without diminishing our capability to redefine. A company that can transform defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to maximize fiercely.