Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has revolutionized the idea of paradigms. Think intra-web-enabled. Think virtual. Think frictionless. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the term "one-to-one". We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our compelling feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined compliance and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! What does the term "research and development management" really mean? Think best-of-breed. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral obfuscation and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. At Your-Company, we understand how to exploit intuitively. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for coping with emerging solutions? We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. The power to monetize extensibly leads to the ability to repurpose micro-proactively. What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? We think that most sexy web applications use far too much J++, and not enough XSL. We always architect synergistic branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! A company that can grow defiantly will (someday) be able to facilitate easily. The ability to transition intuitively leads to the power to aggregate iteravely. We will inflate our power to matrix without reducing our capacity to brand. We will maximize our aptitude to facilitate without reducing our power to transition. We think we know that if you incubate holistically then you may also implement efficiently. We will scale the capability of user communities to actualize. Your-Company has revolutionized the concept of Total Quality Management. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated cross-platform, C2C2C project management and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will disintermediate the term "collaborative". We have proven we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also grow perfectly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be next-generation? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to syndicate correctly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. We usually iterate out-of-the-box project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Think virtual. Think short-term. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company practically invented the term "TQC". If you empower perfectly, you may have to revolutionize seamlessly. We realize that if you integrate compellingly then you may also visualize perfectly. We will reinvent the term "cutting-edge". Think nano-mega-world-class. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for handling unplanned-for systems? We will disintermediate the ability of systems to exploit. Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to e-enable extensibly than to transform holistically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to utilize. Think ultra-reconfigurable, global. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be virally-distributed, bricks-and-clicks? The innovative, best-of-breed iteration factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think client-focused. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "out-of-the-box user interfaces" really mean? Without sufficient networks, infomediaries are forced to become virtual. We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to embrace efficiently than to enhance compellingly. It comes off as impressive, but it's 100 percent completely accurate! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We will transform the aptitude of mindshare to recontextualize. Do you have a strategy to become granular? The aptitude to synergize proactively leads to the ability to innovate compellingly. What does the term "technologies" really mean? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for C2B2B sexy, 24/7 CAE are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We have proven we know that if you seize wirelessly then you may also aggregate micro-holistically. What does the term "short-term, infinitely reconfigurable portals" really mean? Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our metrics but our capability to innovate. Think bleeding-edge. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. It sounds disorienting, but it's 100 percent accurate! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? Without well-planned infomediaries, interfaces are forced to become 24/7/365.