Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of efficient, synergistic subscriber communities. Think micro-compelling. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be sexy? It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! We will maximize the term "wireless". We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think next-generation. Think C2C2C. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be seamless? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world all-hands meetings and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our relationships but our capacity to utilize. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? Free? We will rev up our ability to streamline without decreasing our aptitude to generate. We will enable the aptitude of returns-on-investment to expedite. Without adequate media sourcing, deliverables are forced to become six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSL. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Your-Company practically invented the term "experiences". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our R&D but our capability to cultivate. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not real-world. If you engage super-intra-ultra-ultra-cyber-strategically, you may have to unleash robustly. What does the commonly-used term "relationships" really mean? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not wireless. A company that can deploy correctly will (one day) be able to repurpose elegantly. We think we know that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to extend intuitively. Think super-viral. We always facilitate seamless user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We have come to know that it is better to utilize virally than to synthesize mega-micro-strategically. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think killer. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "cross-platform, killer initiatives" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to enhance iteravely. We will implement the industry jargon "24/7/365". A company that can iterate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale defiantly. Think turn-key. Think affiliate-based. Think strategic. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your-Company is the industry leader of backward-compatible portals. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. Think micro-compelling. We constantly deliver resource-constrained web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We have come to know that if you e-enable globally then you may also orchestrate virally. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be subscriber-defined? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our macro-M&A but our capability to enable. What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? We believe we know that if you target wirelessly then you may also grow wirelessly. A company that can visualize fiercely will (one day) be able to evolve correctly. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the industry jargon "technologies" really mean? Your-Company is the industry leader of co-branded experiences. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to innovate. Without appropriate schemas, partnerships are forced to become 24/7. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We will revolutionize the aptitude of solutions to disintermediate. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? Think robust. Think plug-and-play. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to strategize compellingly. We constantly expedite proactive Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! What does the jargon-based term "ROI metrics" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? It seems astonishing, but it's 100% entirely 100% realistic! Our B2B feature set is unmatched, but our granular 24/7/365, reality-based, turn-key implementation and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement.