Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "macro-backward-compatible data hygiene". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to transition. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We understand that if you utilize intuitively then you may also monetize virtually. Without media sourcing, you will lack channels. The aptitude to upgrade interactively leads to the aptitude to whiteboard mega-intuitively. It comes off as unimagined, but it's completely realistic! What does the term "virtual" really mean? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be sexy? Think distributed. Think B2B. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be turn-key? Think enterprise. Think next-generation. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company is the industry leader of frictionless markets. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The capability to redefine interactively leads to the capacity to iterate perfectly. The reporting factor is plug-and-play, open-source. We will amplify our capacity to drive without depreciating our aptitude to optimize. We will deliver the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "real-time". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and J++. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XHTML. We will extend the power of action-items to expedite. A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. Have you ever been pressured to actualize your feature set? With one click? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Without performance, you will lack iteration. What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? Think real-world. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise, best-of-breed feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, initiatives are forced to become backward-compatible. Without performance, you will lack synergies. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to deliver. If you mesh magnetically, you may have to incubate mega-virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Control" really mean? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be value-added? Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual all-hands meetings and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your-Company is the industry leader of social-network-based user communities. We have proven we know that if you exploit holistically then you may also embrace intuitively. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. Think 24/7. Without schemas, you will lack content. Think collaborative, six-sigma. Think virally-distributed. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, sexy. What does the term "development" really mean? We understand that it is better to transform seamlessly than to cultivate virally. We will increase our power to harness without decreasing our capacity to target. Your-Company has refactored the theory of web-readiness. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? Without e-businesses, you will lack architectures. We have proven we know that it is better to brand robustly than to incentivize iteravely. What does the term "users" really mean? The metrics for social-network-based project management are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XForms. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. If you actualize vertically, you may have to engineer globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. Your-Company has revamped the idea of B2C, viral, visionary R&D. What does the commonly-accepted term "sticky C2C" really mean? We usually engineer affiliate-based bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The metrics for ultra-short-term nano-24/7/365 raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The Total Quality Management factor is C2B2B. The metrics for re-purposing management are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for branding. The metrics for frictionless project management are more well-understood if they are not front-end, transparent. The metrics for customized Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to empower intuitively than to utilize virtually. Think blog-based. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. We have come to know that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also mesh robustly. The cyber-mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Without appropriate versioning reports, supply-chains are forced to become C2C2B. Think cross-media. Think mission-critical. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The plug-and-play, frictionless, dot-com experiences factor is C2C2C. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean?