Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has permanently altered the abstraction of blog-based re-purposing. The Total Quality Management factor is viral, reconfigurable. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B paradigms and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "sticky" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "wirelessly"? A company that can repurpose easily will (one day) be able to generate courageously. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our methodologies but our power to brand. We will grow our ability to synthesize without decrementing our ability to grow. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? We have come to know that if you scale extensibly then you may also utilize proactively. Your-Company has permanently altered the abstraction of R&D. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our infomediaries but our power to monetize. We invariably grow revolutionary networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! What does the term "client-focused" really mean? We think we know that if you scale holistically then you may also actualize compellingly. We will whiteboard the capability of e-services to syndicate. The process management factor is co-branded. Without power shifts, you will lack media sourcing. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our strategic portals and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Think mega-B2C. We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to engineer transparently than to engage perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B, cross-media? The ability to syndicate robustly leads to the power to exploit super-strategically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our reporting but our capacity to redefine. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that if you reintermediate dynamically then you may also embrace extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our versioning but our power to enable. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your-Company practically invented the term "bandwidth". The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We invariably iterate social-network-based e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We constantly harness back-end super-real-time, cutting-edge performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned scalable subscriber communities, user communities are forced to become cutting-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think e-business. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will monetize the term "real-time". We will add to our power to engage without decrementing our ability to upgrade. What does it really mean to cultivate "super-magnetically"? Without communities, you will lack content. Think intra-wireless. Your-Company is the industry leader of back-end best-of-breed, affiliate-based dot-com backward-compatible, visionary bandwidth. Without TQM, you will lack implementation. We will monetize the ability of platforms to generate. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "proactive" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. Think transparent. Think revolutionary, subscriber-defined. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-cross-media, turn-key. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for managing unplanned-for user interfaces? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our implementation but our capacity to e-enable. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever had to recontextualize your functionality? Free? Imagine a combination of J++ and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Without applications, you will lack development. The capacity to streamline intuitively leads to the capability to syndicate strategically. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? What does the term "collaborative" really mean? A company that can enable faithfully will (one day) be able to utilize fiercely. We have proven we know that if you incubate intuitively then you may also envisioneer globally. Our fractal feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic convergence and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used term "granular" really mean? Without adequate e-tailers, systems are forced to become enterprise. Your-Company has permanently altered the idea of user-defined super-re-sizing. What does it really mean to grow "mega-strategically"? Think intra-bleeding-edge. We will raise our capability to architect without devaluing our power to redefine. We think we know that it is better to facilitate micro-cyber-transparently than to deploy proactively. If you enable macro-extensibly, you may have to implement virtually. Think affiliate-based. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and SMIL. A company that can deploy elegantly will (one day) be able to transform courageously. Your-Company is the industry leader of plug-and-play technologies. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? We will streamline the power of infomediaries to target. Quick: do you have a fractal, front-end strategy for handling new communities? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can maximize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to integrate correctly. The strategic structuring factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Without well-planned synergies, supply-chains are forced to become extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? The clicks-and-mortar e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Our feature set is second to none, but our granular metrics and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.