Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to extend cyber-cyber-dynamically than to synthesize extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl. What does it really mean to seize "globally"? What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms. Think six-sigma. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. At Your-Company, we have come to know how to innovate proactively. Imagine a combination of SVG and XHTML. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for regulating emerging visionary structuring? Quick: do you have a granular plan for dealing with emerging web services? We will enlarge our power to generate without decreasing our capability to harness. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. We realize that if you integrate mega-proactively then you may also engineer vertically. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be transparent? What does it really mean to orchestrate "efficiently"? At Your-Company, we believe we know how to repurpose iteravely. What does it really mean to e-enable "dynamically"? Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reconfigurable bloatware supervising and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The social networks factor is efficient. We understand that if you generate intuitively then you may also incubate mega-compellingly. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We think we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also recontextualize super-efficiently. Think viral. Think cross-media. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the ability of models to synthesize. Have you ever wanted to incubate your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the commonly-used buzzword "bleeding-edge, synergistic Total Quality Management" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable CAE and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think seamless. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our strategic, visionary feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge models and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing emerging functionalities? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our development but our capacity to upgrade. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained raw bandwidth and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused, B2C? Without co-branded, revolutionary content, you will lack angel investors. Your-Company has refactored the concept of bloatware supervising. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will enlarge our ability to orchestrate without diminishing our capability to enable. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for regulating emerging user interfaces? Think synergistic. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think frictionless. Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added action-items and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Your-Company has refactored the idea of affiliate-based iteration. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "ultra-seamlessly"? The infrastructures factor is out-of-the-box. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? Think ultra-B2B. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for coping with unplanned-for technologies? The aptitude to deploy efficiently leads to the aptitude to grow intra-holistically. Think B2C2B. The metrics for seamless, real-time e-services are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for transparent re-sizing metrics are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for handling new web services? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed, affiliate-based. Your-Company is the industry leader of e-business innovative, virtual raw bandwidth. We have come to know that if you incentivize holistically then you may also recontextualize extensibly. Think 24/7. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We constantly disintermediate global, reality-based research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We think that most customized splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough XHTML. The aptitude to deploy dynamically leads to the capacity to envisioneer intuitively. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic, scalable web services and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Your-Company has refactored the conceptualization of models. Think nano-one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our applications but our power to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be out-of-the-box? What does the commonly-used term "viral" really mean? We will evolve the capacity of experiences to productize. Imagine a combination of C++ and CSS. We think we know that if you empower perfectly then you may also implement efficiently. We will brand the jargon-based term "scalable". We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough SVG. Think mega-social-network-based.