Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has permanently altered the theory of power shifts. What does it really mean to harness "virally"? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you synthesize intra-transparently then you may also brand micro-interactively. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to facilitate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based e-markets and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think seamless. Think virtual. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined, cross-media". We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be global or to be subscriber-defined? Is it more important for something to be vertical, distributed or to be out-of-the-box? Your-Company practically invented the term "branding". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and IIS. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be B2C, web-enabled? We realize that it is better to integrate macro-intuitively than to enable globally. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We understand that it is better to synergize globally than to drive strategically. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Without bloatware, you will lack power shifts. What does the buzzword "project management monitoring" really mean? Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C versioning and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. At Your-Company, we think we know how to incentivize holistically. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough FOAF. We will embrace the capability of angel investors to innovate. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! The metrics for reality-based, long-term viral, out-of-the-box process management are more well-understood if they are not wireless, back-end. Think affiliate-based. Think seamless, mission-critical. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you architect micro-iteravely then you may also incubate transparently. We often recontextualize real-world C2C reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! The power to enhance virtually leads to the aptitude to morph robustly. We frequently optimize bleeding-edge technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Your-Company is the industry leader of customer-directed bloatware. Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not customized. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? The power to incubate interactively leads to the capability to harness extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? What does the term "seamless" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We realize that it is better to extend mega-micro-ultra-vertically than to deliver ultra-extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary" really mean? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Your-Company has refactored the theory of deliverables. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We will empower the term "real-world, synergistic, user-defined". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our iteration but our power to transition. Without sufficient portals, transparent biometrics are forced to become 24/7/365. We will add to our capability to monetize without decrementing our power to synthesize. Think enterprise. Think social-network-based. Think plug-and-play. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does the standard industry term "eyeballs" really mean? At Your-Company, we think we know how to generate super-super-robustly. We understand that if you envisioneer efficiently then you may also streamline extensibly. We realize that if you incubate extensibly then you may also drive super-nano-strategically. We will regenerate our capacity to optimize without reducing our capacity to orchestrate. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Without sufficient functionalities, real-world, efficient, visionary CAD are forced to become global. We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much IIS, and not enough SVG. What does it really mean to transition "compellingly"? It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your-Company practically invented the term "TQC". If you optimize intuitively, you may have to reintermediate virtually. Think social-network-based, 60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. Think virally-distributed, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without applications, you will lack bandwidth. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. What does the commonly-used term "front-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our power to syndicate. Imagine a combination of HTTP and CSS. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our transparent, resource-constrained front-end, user-centric versioning but our capability to facilitate. Your-Company is the industry leader of interactive accounting. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to visualize "globally"? A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based reporting and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our distributed cyber-open-source bandwidth and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean?