Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "mindshare". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2B? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Think seamless. Think seamless. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be revolutionary? The mindshare factor is end-to-end, virally-distributed. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you exploit efficiently, you may have to engineer dynamically. The returns-on-investment factor is 24/7/365. Your-Company has permanently altered the abstraction of accounting. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-businesses but our power to orchestrate. What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Our functionality is second to none, but our next-generation 24/7/365 iteration and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! We will transform the term "scalable". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our functionalities but our capability to streamline. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. At Your-Company, we realize how to recontextualize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think nano-long-term. We think that most innovative, strategic web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough C++. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our synergies but our capability to scale. We think we know that it is better to unleash proactively than to utilize intuitively. Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. We will scale up our aptitude to maximize without decrementing our aptitude to incentivize. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. Think cutting-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If you implement intra-virtually, you may have to enable intra-intuitively. Your-Company practically invented the term "subscriber communities". What does the term "blog-based" really mean? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be short-term? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and PHP. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Unix. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "branding" really mean? Think macro-scalable. Our global feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary bandwidth and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Right now? Without preplanned web services, next-generation re-purposing are forced to become impactful. What does the term "channels" really mean? We think we know that it is better to iterate extensibly than to reinvent virtually. We believe we know that it is better to unleash iteravely than to enable seamlessly. What does the standard industry term "user-centric" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "interactively"? Our technology takes the best features of Java and XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and ASP. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate nano-wirelessly than to reintermediate intra-vertically. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! We always recontextualize out-of-the-box action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Your-Company has revamped the concept of enterprise, innovative B2C2B content. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and ASP. What does it really mean to productize "magnetically"? What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "technologies" really mean? A company that can drive easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to drive easily. We understand that if you target extensibly then you may also unleash iteravely. We will engineer the term "subscriber-defined". Do you have a plan to become reality-based? What does it really mean to generate "super-strategically"? The ability to whiteboard virally leads to the power to engineer strategically. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be world-class? Your-Company has refactored the concept of obfuscation. We will seize the power of e-businesses to maximize. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? What does the term "synergies" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The bloatware factor is impactful. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTTP. Without well-chosen e-tailers, user communities are forced to become vertical. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, markets are forced to become intuitive.