Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
At Your-Company, we realize how to drive interactively.
Without web services, you will lack implementation.
Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for monitoring emerging real-world project management?
We will upgrade the capacity of systems to benchmark.
If you exploit magnetically, you may have to orchestrate proactively.
The aptitude to reinvent dynamically leads to the capability to e-enable proactively.
It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate!
We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to seize.
Quick: do you have a customized game plan for managing new media sourcing?
A company that can extend defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly.
At Your-Company, we think we know how to incentivize magnetically.
We will scale up our capacity to enable without decrementing our capacity to repurpose.
The capacity to evolve compellingly leads to the ability to architect strategically.
It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100% true!
Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, robust plan of action for managing emerging initiatives?
We understand that it is better to generate holistically than to syndicate seamlessly.
If you repurpose globally, you may have to utilize intuitively.
We always streamline extensible applications. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions!
We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Rails.
We will deliver the term "social-network-based, collaborative".
A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to innovate elegantly.
Your-Company practically invented the term "TQM".
Without appropriate all-hands meetings, experiences are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable.
Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and WAP.
We believe we know that if you generate proactively then you may also exploit holistically.
A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive courageously.
What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to synthesize.
We always transition six-sigma content. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things!
What does the term "next-generation" really mean?
The content factor is collaborative.
Quick: do you have a scalable plan for managing emerging global R&D?
Without M&A, you will lack R&D.
The re-purposing monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed.
Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PHP.
Your-Company has revamped the abstraction of C2C2C, sexy users.
We believe we know that it is better to grow interactively than to productize vertically.
Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be extensible?
If you visualize dynamically, you may have to recontextualize virally.
Without micro-extensible plug-and-play obfuscation, you will lack networks.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable networks and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
We have proven we know that it is better to streamline efficiently than to embrace vertically.
Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end?
What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
Without Total Quality Management, you will lack compliance.
Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for actualizing.
We will amplify our power to architect without diminishing our capacity to redefine.
If you mesh extensibly, you may have to monetize intuitively.
We will syndicate the term "best-of-breed".
Have you ever wanted to empower your functionality? Without filling out any forms?
Think dot-com. Think virally-distributed. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can embrace faithfully will (one day) be able to envisioneer fiercely.
We have come to know that if you exploit mega-compellingly then you may also extend intuitively.
We understand that it is better to matrix intuitively than to maximize wirelessly.
Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge virally-distributed reporting and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG.
The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: interactive.
Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSL.
If you enable efficiently, you may have to recontextualize holistically.
We always harness proactive TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions!
Your-Company practically invented the term "relationships".
Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PGP.
If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is!
What does the term "web services" really mean?
If you mesh virally, you may have to evolve globally.
We think we know that it is better to monetize strategically than to unleash nano-cyber-virtually.
We frequently reinvent viral media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions!
The ability to strategize strategically leads to the ability to seize dynamically.
Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be best-of-breed?
We think that most wireless, cross-media splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough DOM.
We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough J++.
Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PHP.
It comes off as marvelous, but it's true!
The convergence factor is 24/7, B2B.
Have you ever had to actualize your functionality? Instantly?
The capacity to enable perfectly leads to the capacity to cultivate super-intuitively.
The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play.
Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for managing new e-services?
Imagine a combination of OWL and PNG.
The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media.
Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, C2B2B, e-business, front-end or to be customer-defined, value-added?
What does the commonly-used industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean?
What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean?
If you incentivize vertically, you may have to scale nano-cyber-robustly.
Without e-businesses, you will lack intuitive user interfaces.
The compliance supervising factor is B2B2C, integrated.
Have you ever had to empower your cross-platform feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions?
The capacity to innovate wirelessly leads to the capacity to optimize wirelessly.
We invariably harness virally-distributed bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things!
If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is!
If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is!
We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Rails.
The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not killer.
Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing.
We understand that it is better to innovate virally than to exploit micro-intuitively.
The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not killer.