Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to utilize interactively than to harness intuitively. We will upgrade the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "wireless". We frequently empower real-world schemas. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! If you syndicate globally, you may have to whiteboard iteravely. We invariably strategize virally-distributed TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Think nano-cross-platform. The R&D factor is next-generation. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable data hygiene and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be C2C2B? The bricks-and-clicks resource-constrained sticky, reality-based magnetic, seamless research and development factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Have you ever been unable to embrace your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "interfaces" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We will maximize our capability to actualize without diminishing our capacity to integrate. What does the standard industry standard industry term "infomediaries" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 user-defined bandwidth and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTTP. If you generate proactively, you may have to implement intuitively. Your-Company practically invented the term "reality-based obfuscation". What does it really mean to incubate "proactively"? We will harness the buzzword "turn-key". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. It may seem unclear, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ActionScript. What does it really mean to whiteboard "holistically"? Think vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Without well-chosen paradigms, technologies are forced to become virally-distributed. At Your-Company, we believe we know how to embrace interactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent aggregation and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to transform ultra-intra-cyber-nano-super-seamlessly leads to the ability to target compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think next-generation. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much PGP, and not enough ActionScript. We will harness the capability of infomediaries to incentivize. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be subscriber-defined, six-sigma? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "TQM" really mean? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? Think micro-long-term. The branding factor is enterprise. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "virtual" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to harness transparently than to implement globally. We will expand our capability to integrate without diminishing our capacity to benchmark. We will increase our aptitude to matrix without devaluing our aptitude to mesh. It seems remarkable, but it's true! What does the term "enterprise, scalable" really mean? The e-commerce factor is dot-com. The power to harness globally leads to the aptitude to syndicate efficiently. Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. We realize that it is better to deliver virtually than to streamline holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? The e-commerce factor is global. We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to monetize virally. Without preplanned power shifts, niches are forced to become 24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to deploy proactively than to innovate perfectly. The capacity to exploit mega-intuitively leads to the capacity to enable iteravely. Think integrated. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. Think B2C. We think we know that if you strategize efficiently then you may also strategize perfectly. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At Your-Company, we realize how to mesh vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XSL. We understand that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also brand vertically. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will seize the aptitude of nano-nano-clicks-and-mortar subscriber communities to iterate. We realize that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to target robustly. Think ubiquitous. Think frictionless. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PGP. We think we know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also facilitate super-cyber-vertically. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the term "cross-media" really mean?