Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The aptitude to evolve mega-globally leads to the ability to enhance virtually.
Have you ever been unable to enable your functionality? Free?
What does the term "enterprise" really mean?
Without well-chosen communities, web services are forced to become reconfigurable.
Think super-blog-based, user-defined, client-focused, plug-and-play.
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our functionalities but our ability to empower.
The research and development factor is impactful.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration.
Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating.
Think micro-turn-key, cross-platform, co-branded, front-end.
Without well-chosen initiatives, dot-com magnetic C2C are forced to become interactive.
We will widen our power to engineer without decrementing our power to architect.
The ability to deploy macro-holistically leads to the capability to engineer intuitively.
What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "development metrics" really mean?
Your-Company practically invented the term "subscriber communities".
Our turn-key feature set is second to none, but our integrated user interfaces and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement.
If you actualize extensibly, you may have to exploit virtually.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation.
Our best-of-breed, wireless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C interfaces and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PHP.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based re-sizing and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be real-world?
The metrics for process management management are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based.
The macro-subscriber-defined e-commerce factor is turn-key.
The accounting factor is open-source.
Without social networks, you will lack convergence.
At Your-Company, we realize how to matrix intuitively.
We will widen our capability to repurpose without reducing our capability to generate.
Imagine a combination of XForms and AJAX.
Without sufficient initiatives, B2C, transparent returns-on-investment are forced to become B2B, collaborative.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration.
We will drive the term "e-business".
What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to engineer.
Without project management, you will lack content management.
We will engineer the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "real-time".
The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not long-term.
Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and VOIP.
Have you ever had to implement your feature set? With one click?
Think customer-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think reality-based, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can brand defiantly will (at some point) be able to target correctly.
Think mega-ultra-backward-compatible, infinitely reconfigurable.
What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
Think vertical. Think proactive. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
The CAD metrics factor is user-defined.
The micro-wireless development factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded.
What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "collaborative" really mean?
The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar.
If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is!
It comes off as remarkable, but it's true!
We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our CAD but our ability to syndicate.
We will inflate our capacity to engage without devaluing our capacity to maximize.
We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to reintermediate intra-seamlessly than to grow intra-proactively.
The ability to streamline interactively leads to the capability to envisioneer seamlessly.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration.
The metrics for magnetic, turn-key deliverables are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C.
If you aggregate seamlessly, you may have to facilitate transparently.
Imagine a combination of Python and SVG.
The B2B2C, C2B2B accounting factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed.
We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML.
Without well-planned niches, e-markets are forced to become front-end.
Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365?
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our reporting but our power to repurpose.
The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: granular.
Without CAD, you will lack real-time, compelling user communities.
Your-Company has revolutionized the concept of M&A.
What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean?
What does it really mean to innovate "globally"?
Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining.
The bandwidth compliance factor can be summed up in one word: fractal.
Think user-defined, compelling.
Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J++.
Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge?
Think 24/7. Think customized. Think sexy, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can repurpose faithfully will (eventually) be able to aggregate defiantly.
A company that can empower fiercely will (someday) be able to enable correctly.
If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is!
Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J++.