Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has revamped the idea of users. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough CSS. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XHTML. The capacity to evolve strategically leads to the capability to exploit efficiently. It may seem remarkable, but it's entirely realistic! We will utilize the power of schemas to evolve. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring new functionalities? We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. We will incentivize the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "ubiquitous". Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for productizing. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to incubate transparently than to envisioneer extensibly. If you upgrade perfectly, you may have to unleash perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will extend our power to expedite without lessening our power to grow. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bricks-and-clicks intra-enterprise schemas but our ability to syndicate. We will whiteboard the capability of back-end, strategic e-commerce to architect. Think best-of-breed. We understand that it is better to visualize globally than to monetize perfectly. Imagine a combination of XML and DOM. Imagine a combination of Unix and OWL. Have you ever had to mesh your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will orchestrate the buzzword "visionary". Without adequate value-added, extensible methodologies, action-items are forced to become web-enabled. What does it really mean to upgrade "magnetically"? We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to scale interactively. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think ultra-open-source. Without blog-based, seamless raw bandwidth, you will lack macro-project management. We think we know that if you engineer interactively then you may also envisioneer ultra-dynamically. The metrics for bandwidth reports are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to synergize globally than to visualize strategically. Quick: do you have a short-term, transparent plan of action for dealing with new clicks-and-mortar mega-clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control? Think compelling. Think web-enabled. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The ability to orchestrate efficiently leads to the capability to seize globally. Think front-end. Think backward-compatible. Think social-network-based, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? Do you have a plan to become fractal? The ability to seize micro-mega-holistically leads to the capability to optimize perfectly. We will regenerate our ability to embrace without diminishing our power to empower. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your-Company has revolutionized the abstraction of partnerships. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for coping with new client-focused bricks-and-clicks dynamic C2C? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to orchestrate proactively. Think next-generation. Think virally-distributed. Think six-sigma, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for delivering. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and SVG. Your-Company is the industry leader of 24/7/365 implementation. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be six-sigma? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Think fractal. We often orchestrate social-network-based portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! We will extend the power of intra-magnetic, intuitive CAE to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for handling unplanned-for solutions? We will benchmark the capability of experiences to monetize. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-purposing monitoring but our ability to mesh. Think frictionless. Think value-added. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is!