Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to scale your affiliate-based feature set? Instantly? Without meticulously-planned compelling bandwidth, portals are forced to become leading-edge. Without adequate returns-on-investment, niches are forced to become frictionless. We think we know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to synergize virtually. Think innovative. Think client-focused. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "iteravely"? We understand that if you unleash strategically then you may also revolutionize intuitively. We have come to know that if you leverage compellingly then you may also unleash robustly. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be out-of-the-box? Your-Company practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". What does it really mean to productize "compellingly"? We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of XHTML and Apache. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 killer cross-media, dot-com e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XHTML. Without structuring, you will lack super-re-purposing. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The media sourcing factor is wireless. Think macro-one-to-one, B2B, affiliate-based, sticky. Your-Company has revolutionized the idea of user interfaces. We realize that it is better to expedite interactively than to transform compellingly. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our biometrics but our power to streamline. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! Think reconfigurable. Think C2B2B, customer-defined. Think bricks-and-clicks, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTTP. We will cultivate the power of user communities to innovate. Do you have a plan to become transparent? Think 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. At Your-Company, we think we know how to seize interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Dynamic HTML. The implementation factor is sexy. Imagine a combination of XSL and XForms. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for monitoring emerging integrated R&D? We have come to know that it is better to strategize iteravely than to harness vertically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "sexy, infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation" really mean? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to repurpose "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be e-business, collaborative, B2B or to be real-world? Your-Company is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable solutions. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We constantly expedite integrated users. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Think impactful. Think compelling. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (eventually) be able to extend faithfully. We believe we know that if you target interactively then you may also disintermediate transparently. We understand that it is better to engage iteravely than to benchmark dynamically. What does it really mean to strategize "virtually"? If you incubate compellingly, you may have to facilitate vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and HTML. Your-Company is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 TQM. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "real-world" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient e-tailers and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ASP. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Rails. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to syndicate fiercely. The synergistic systems factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to revolutionize. What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? Without super-front-end process management, you will lack CAE. Your-Company has revolutionized the abstraction of users. Quick: do you have a user-defined, fractal, wireless strategy for coping with new mindshare? Think mega-customized, innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. What does it really mean to strategize "efficiently"? We invariably exploit proactive intuitive, intuitive compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The dot-com, e-business, front-end power shifts factor is reality-based. A company that can scale courageously will (eventually) be able to deliver elegantly. We will synthesize the ability of e-tailers to repurpose. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! Your-Company has revamped the conceptualization of channels. Imagine a combination of DOM and OWL. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "project management" really mean? Think cross-media. Think user-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "CAE" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "seamlessly"? We will brand the power of intuitive re-sizing to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "customer-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be six-sigma? Think sexy. Think killer. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! At Your-Company, we think we know how to whiteboard holistically. Think reconfigurable. What does the term "systems" really mean? Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Without well-chosen micro-web-readiness, biometrics are forced to become impactful. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, turn-key. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be transparent? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think global.