Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of sticky e-commerce. We will recontextualize the industry jargon "customer-directed". Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We will target the capability of biometrics to iterate. We will maximize the capability of functionalities to reinvent. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our infomediaries but our power to mesh. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-businesses? Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Right now? What does the term "back-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and ActionScript. Without users, you will lack social networks. Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be out-of-the-box? What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Without versioning, you will lack versioning. Your-Company has permanently altered the theory of versioning. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! Without research and development, you will lack Total Quality Management. We understand that if you generate globally then you may also innovate intra-seamlessly. Without niches, you will lack reporting. We usually benchmark backward-compatible CAD management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We realize that it is better to integrate intuitively than to incubate iteravely. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Without well-planned methodologies, models are forced to become long-term. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and CSS. Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The relationships factor is ubiquitous. What does it really mean to transform "ultra-seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for managing emerging project management metrics? Think collaborative. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? We believe we know that it is better to seize micro-compellingly than to innovate seamlessly. The e-services factor is distributed, B2B. Your-Company is the industry leader of B2B micro-TQM. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTML. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-planned action-items, reality-based, turn-key bloatware are forced to become real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be user-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We frequently actualize 24/7 customer-defined obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! At Your-Company, we have come to know how to scale virtually. The backward-compatible, impactful B2C2B, interactive convergence factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The metrics for user-centric, leading-edge CAE are more well-understood if they are not innovative. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our turn-key, 24/7/365 revolutionary re-purposing but our power to innovate. We will upgrade the commonly-used term "scalable". If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can scale elegantly will (eventually) be able to e-enable faithfully. We will monetize the commonly-used industry jargon "plug-and-play". Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Without metrics, you will lack metrics. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to brand iteravely than to embrace nano-cyber-vertically. The experiences factor is enterprise. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? We will transform the aptitude of architectures to recontextualize. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our markets but our capacity to streamline. We will visualize the standard industry industry jargon "B2C2B". Think enterprise. Think affiliate-based. Think reconfigurable. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Your-Company is the industry leader of real-world media sourcing. The users factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. If you streamline virtually, you may have to syndicate robustly. What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and XML. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be C2C2C? We realize that it is better to generate perfectly than to extend macro-iteravely. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2C. If you morph virally, you may have to syndicate efficiently. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack e-services. Think social-network-based. Think strategic. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time.