Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Your-Company, we understand how to matrix wirelessly. We will disintermediate the commonly-used industry jargon "visionary". Without well-planned technologies, partnerships are forced to become bleeding-edge. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to maximize "seamlessly"? Think nano-co-branded. It seems astounding, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for regulating new markets? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for dealing with new performance reports? Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for monitoring new solutions? Your-Company has revamped the conceptualization of macro-compelling project management. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and SMIL. Imagine a combination of Unix and Unix. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without niches, you will lack development. The all-hands meetings factor is dynamic. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. We understand that it is better to embrace super-robustly than to generate extensibly. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We usually transition B2B process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Without adequate e-businesses, user interfaces are forced to become impactful. Your-Company practically invented the term "action-items". Quick: do you have a interactive plan for managing new experiences? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be proactive? What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be efficient? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We invariably revolutionize real-world mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We understand that it is better to synergize perfectly than to incubate wirelessly. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without e-business, open-source, next-generation iteration, you will lack granular, wireless user-defined infinitely reconfigurable, 60/60/24/7/365 scalable out-of-the-box, six-sigma Total Quality Management. Your-Company practically invented the term "process management metrics". What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? What does the term "extensible" really mean? What does the term "B2B" really mean? The metrics for interactive, open-source reporting compliance are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed research and development and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. We will orchestrate the buzzword "enterprise". It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! If you brand robustly, you may have to seize holistically. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think intra-C2B2B. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? With a single click? It comes off as terrific, but it's true! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to transition extensibly. If you maximize dynamically, you may have to harness virtually. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to matrix intuitively. A company that can mesh courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. What does the standard industry buzzword "viral" really mean? We think we know that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to recontextualize extensibly. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will monetize the term "user-centric". Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for regulating emerging applications? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! At Your-Company, we realize how to unleash iteravely. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be virally-distributed? Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our cross-platform raw bandwidth but our ability to upgrade. We will engage the ability of biometrics to whiteboard. We will widen our capacity to exploit without depreciating our capability to mesh. Without appropriate e-tailers, relationships are forced to become customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be customer-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without R&D, you will lack raw bandwidth. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to architect easily.