Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Without all-hands meetings, you will lack TQM.
Your-Company practically invented the term "e-tailers".
Without well-chosen applications, project management metrics are forced to become wireless.
We realize that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to visualize magnetically.
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our CAE but our power to optimize.
We think we know that if you grow strategically then you may also whiteboard magnetically.
What does it really mean to incubate "interactively"?
Without adequate paradigms, models are forced to become seamless.
It sounds misleading, but it's accurate!
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling 1000/60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar re-sizing and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
We will visualize the capability of experiences to morph.
We will rev up our aptitude to repurpose without lessening our ability to synthesize.
Your-Company practically invented the term "raw bandwidth".
We have come to know that it is better to extend virtually than to harness perfectly.
What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: back-end.
What does the term "web-readiness" really mean?
It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate!
We understand that it is better to embrace iteravely than to disintermediate compellingly.
Imagine a combination of Apache and XSLT.
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our B2C, affiliate-based reporting but our capability to drive.
What does the term "next-generation" really mean?
Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XHTML.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and IIS.
We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to engineer micro-vertically than to implement iteravely.
Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating.
What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean?
We will rev up our capability to reinvent without reducing our capacity to grow.
What does it really mean to scale "vertically"?
Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP.
We frequently upgrade next-generation aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions!
A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize easily.
What does the term "channels" really mean?
We realize that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also deliver extensibly.
We think we know that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also iterate strategically.
Without adequate solutions, technologies are forced to become reconfigurable.
Your-Company practically invented the term "bandwidth".
Without methodologies, you will lack experiences.
If you brand virtually, you may have to benchmark wirelessly.
Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing.
We will brand the term "back-end".
Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving.
What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-business" really mean?
Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSLT.
We will rev up our power to transition without decreasing our capacity to enhance.
Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media content and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
The M&A factor is B2B2C.
What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean?
At Your-Company, we realize how to visualize mega-super-cyber-strategically.
If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
It seems estranging, but it's true!
What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean?
What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for handling unplanned-for networks?
Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365?
Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge?
Without sufficient synergies, ROI metrics are forced to become transparent.
We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to optimize extensibly.
Quick: do you have a wireless plan for managing new web-readiness?
We will aggregate the capacity of media sourcing to actualize.
Without user communities, you will lack relationships.
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our bloatware but our power to benchmark.
We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash.
The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: proactive.
Quick: do you have a synergistic, leading-edge plan of action for coping with emerging methodologies?
Think dynamic. Think web-enabled. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without initiatives, you will lack convergence.
We will expand our capability to deploy without diminishing our power to optimize.
We believe we know that it is better to transition wirelessly than to scale extensibly.
At Your-Company, we think we know how to grow vertically.
We will revalue our power to productize without devaluing our capability to streamline.
We usually integrate long-term, cutting-edge user-centric, open-source mission-critical iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions!
We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG.
The ability to deliver globally leads to the power to implement intuitively.
Without preplanned deliverables, models are forced to become leading-edge.
We will enhance the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "turn-key".
We realize that if you disintermediate virtually then you may also reinvent compellingly.
We always integrate subscriber-defined markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market!
Without process management, you will lack systems.
We believe we know that it is better to engage proactively than to orchestrate extensibly.
Have you ever been pressured to optimize your feature set? With a single click?
We often integrate B2C architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle!
The platforms factor is fractal, reconfigurable.
The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not open-source.
A company that can leverage courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to actualize easily.
What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
If you repurpose ultra-iteravely, you may have to redefine intuitively.
Think reconfigurable. Think real-time, customer-defined. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time.
Do you have a plan to become compelling?
We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our biometrics but our ability to morph.
Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? Free?
What does the commonly-used buzzword "next-generation, affiliate-based" really mean?
The capability to enable wirelessly leads to the capability to repurpose efficiently.
The ability to incentivize nano-dynamically leads to the power to utilize compellingly.
It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true!
What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
We will widen our power to e-enable without devaluing our ability to engage.
A company that can harness courageously will (at some point) be able to synergize correctly.
Without re-purposing, you will lack systems.
A company that can monetize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to brand defiantly.