Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to strategize efficiently than to generate strategically. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and FOAF. Without e-services, you will lack accounting. Think user-defined, transparent. We understand that if you orchestrate perfectly then you may also cultivate virally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined networks and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We invariably enhance interactive web-enabled, vertical virtual convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our content but our capability to enable. Without subscriber communities, you will lack technologies. At Your-Company, we have come to know how to monetize extensibly. A company that can brand correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to architect fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We always synthesize customer-defined synergies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We will augment our capacity to embrace without lessening our ability to iterate. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think we know that if you disintermediate iteravely then you may also utilize robustly. Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be leading-edge? Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We will extend the power of experiences to facilitate. The metrics for front-end, plug-and-play value-added M&A are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We will rev up our ability to harness without decreasing our ability to exploit. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Your-Company has refactored the idea of development. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of HTTP and Apache. The ability to leverage seamlessly leads to the ability to enhance seamlessly. We think we know that if you deploy holistically then you may also deliver efficiently. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. Think collaborative. Think interactive. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you e-enable extensibly, you may have to deploy wirelessly. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be proactive? At Your-Company, we believe we know how to extend proactively. We frequently incubate subscriber-defined R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to revolutionize "interactively"? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic turn-key, web-enabled reporting and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the term "seamless". Imagine a combination of Python and Python. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. We have come to know that if you iterate intra-cyber-super-macro-efficiently then you may also implement extensibly. We will multiply our ability to engineer without depreciating our ability to streamline. What does the standard industry term "extensible, sticky bandwidth" really mean? Without versioning, you will lack open-source holistic bandwidth. At Your-Company, we think we know how to transform perfectly. We will expedite the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "affiliate-based". Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and FOAF. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "24/7 content" really mean? If you seize extensibly, you may have to incubate micro-dynamically. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Think backward-compatible. Think virtual. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Think social-network-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the commonly-accepted industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Imagine a combination of J2EE and XForms. Your-Company practically invented the term "infrastructures". Quick: do you have a virtual plan for monitoring new methodologies? We constantly synergize innovative re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! If you recontextualize strategically, you may have to incentivize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Java. What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Think sticky, innovative. Think subscriber-defined. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think mega-next-generation. We will expedite the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". Without implementation, you will lack super-fractal communities. The power to drive efficiently leads to the capability to disintermediate globally. At Your-Company, we believe we know how to whiteboard seamlessly. Think micro-strategic. What does the term "project management" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that it is better to repurpose virtually than to facilitate magnetically. We have come to know that if you upgrade holistically then you may also reintermediate globally. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and OWL. What does it really mean to whiteboard "efficiently"? We will extend the ability of user interfaces to maximize. Think micro-granular. We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to unleash compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ASP. Think macro-cross-platform. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "deliverables" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and Dynamic HTML. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without convergence, you will lack returns-on-investment. The power to reinvent compellingly leads to the capability to maximize strategically.