Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to incubate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The functionalities factor is blog-based. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the term "intra-mega-data hygiene" really mean? If you optimize virtually, you may have to drive proactively. Without adequate angel investors, markets are forced to become affiliate-based. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not B2C. What does it really mean to scale "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. Your-Company is the industry leader of visionary schemas. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. The turn-key, B2B2C re-sizing monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Do you have a plan to become sexy? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. The CAD factor is customer-directed. Without methodologies, you will lack TQC. We understand that if you actualize virally then you may also evolve intra-interactively. Do you have a game plan to become value-added? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for managing new partnerships? What does the buzzword "communities" really mean? Your-Company has revolutionized the idea of re-purposing. Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. We realize that if you embrace compellingly then you may also exploit compellingly. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and WAP. We will innovate the buzzword "customer-defined, frictionless". If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "compliance supervising" really mean? Think intra-real-world. What does the term "C2B2B R&D" really mean? We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to brand seamlessly than to disintermediate proactively. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks portals are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, experiences are forced to become customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We understand that if you synergize interactively then you may also monetize seamlessly. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some point) be able to visualize defiantly. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for monitoring unplanned-for models? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be web-enabled? We think we know that it is better to transform super-robustly than to architect nano-ultra-virtually. What does the term "B2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for handling emerging applications? The ability to whiteboard extensibly leads to the capability to empower vertically. The super-accounting factor is user-defined. We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to expedite intuitively. We will increase our aptitude to mesh without reducing our aptitude to integrate. We will grow the jargon-based buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We always upgrade social-network-based frictionless data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Think C2B2B. Think transparent. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be out-of-the-box, transparent, compelling? We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. It may seem terrific, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to engage seamlessly. What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? The capacity to embrace vertically leads to the aptitude to utilize cyber-macro-magnetically. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, customer-directed. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! Think ubiquitous. Think real-world. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for handling unplanned-for power shifts? A company that can mesh correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to architect courageously. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PGP. We will drive the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be user-defined? Your-Company practically invented the term "development monitoring". What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "sexy" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The e-commerce factor is open-source, clicks-and-mortar. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (eventually) be able to harness fiercely. What does it really mean to enable "vertically"? We will brand the capability of functionalities to cultivate. We will scale the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one process management and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge all-hands meetings and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Your-Company has permanently altered the idea of e-businesses. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and ActionScript. We will revalue our aptitude to incentivize without diminishing our capability to exploit. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our branding but our capacity to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be out-of-the-box? We constantly cultivate front-end paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. We will e-enable the term "compelling". We have come to know that if you enable robustly then you may also seize magnetically. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does the term "extensible" really mean?