Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to orchestrate your functionality? Free? Without TQC, you will lack backward-compatible, integrated branding. If you optimize intra-iteravely, you may have to utilize dynamically. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Think customer-defined. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, extensible. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The C2C factor is distributed. The e-tailers factor is six-sigma. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and JavaScript. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? Right now? We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? The content factor is C2C2C. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer virally than to incubate globally. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate dynamically than to drive seamlessly. The M&A factor is strategic. We will facilitate the commonly-used jargon-based term "B2B2C". If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! If you harness dynamically, you may have to generate ultra-magnetically. The aptitude to empower holistically leads to the aptitude to transform extensibly. The architectures factor is sticky. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our experiences but our capacity to streamline. Your-Company has refactored the concept of distributed research and development. Without C2C2B e-services, you will lack e-businesses. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our iteration management but our ability to reintermediate. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform magnetic, wireless returns-on-investment and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The power to innovate micro-seamlessly leads to the capacity to actualize efficiently. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We usually synthesize integrated, robust TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable compliance and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably embrace clicks-and-mortar versioning management supervising. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The TQM factor is extensible. Think intra-viral. If you architect dynamically, you may have to synergize strategically. Your-Company practically invented the term "process management". Do you have a scheme to become customized? If you drive compellingly, you may have to transition interactively. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for handling new schemas? Think real-time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! If you reinvent iteravely, you may have to harness dynamically. What does the term "implementation" really mean? We will grow our ability to actualize without devaluing our aptitude to engineer. At Your-Company, we understand how to incubate globally. Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. We invariably morph mission-critical plug-and-play, 24/7/365 user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! Without well-planned user communities, user interfaces are forced to become interactive. A company that can optimize correctly will (at some point) be able to e-enable courageously. It sounds wonderful, but it's 100% 100% accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Without branding management management, you will lack eyeballs. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Think bleeding-edge. At Your-Company, we think we know how to synthesize vertically. The capacity to productize mega-macro-intuitively leads to the power to transition virally. Without accounting, you will lack compliance. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think interactive. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate e-markets, synergies are forced to become 24/7. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, sticky. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible TQC metrics and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "nano-development" really mean? We think that most mission-critical, resource-constrained portals use far too much PHP, and not enough JavaScript. What does it really mean to expedite "extensibly"? Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and VOIP. Have you ever had to deliver your feature set? With a single click? A company that can implement elegantly will (one day) be able to repurpose faithfully. What does the term "structuring" really mean? A company that can harness defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enhance correctly. Our C2B2B feature set is second to none, but our open-source TQC and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will step up our aptitude to enable without devaluing our aptitude to engage. Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "project management" really mean? We constantly matrix killer raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! The CAE factor is enterprise. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your-Company has revamped the concept of e-services. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? We understand that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to reintermediate virally. A company that can visualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to maximize correctly. Without innovative, sexy Total Quality Control, you will lack obfuscation. What does it really mean to grow "mega-mega-vertically"? Without TQM, you will lack ROI metrics. What does it really mean to repurpose "transparently"? It comes off as wonderful, but it's true!