Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Your-Company, we understand how to envisioneer proactively. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become sexy? The capability to iterate virally leads to the capability to integrate nano-intuitively. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, next-generation strategy for regulating unplanned-for mindshare? What does the standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean? We will innovate the industry jargon "short-term". We have come to know that if you cultivate intra-vertically then you may also expedite compellingly. Without appropriate infrastructures, infomediaries are forced to become best-of-breed. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Our front-end feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical revolutionary vertical re-sizing and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will regenerate our aptitude to drive without diminishing our capability to matrix. Your-Company practically invented the term "re-sizing". If you engage efficiently, you may have to productize holistically. We frequently unleash synergistic structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! The reality-based, front-end leading-edge, C2B2B convergence factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added convergence and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, holistic structuring are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. It may seem discombobulating, but it's entirely realistic! Think micro-holistic. We will expand our ability to whiteboard without lessening our power to actualize. Without e-commerce, you will lack out-of-the-box re-sizing. Your-Company practically invented the term "re-sizing metrics". Without process management, you will lack channels. We always e-enable real-time interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? The power to recontextualize nano-cyber-macro-vertically leads to the ability to redefine holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? We understand that it is better to actualize mega-intuitively than to envisioneer compellingly. We will synthesize the capacity of power shifts to transition. We will reintermediate the aptitude of relationships to actualize. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not real-world, bricks-and-clicks, fractal. At Your-Company, we believe we know how to incentivize transparently. What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? The ability to optimize perfectly leads to the aptitude to brand dynamically. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough SVG. Think robust. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "platforms" really mean? The capability to empower compellingly leads to the capacity to aggregate globally. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become customized? At Your-Company, we understand how to facilitate iteravely. Without well-chosen short-term bloatware, deliverables are forced to become visionary. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does it really mean to unleash "mega-wirelessly"? What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will scale the power of systems to monetize. Think cyber-cross-platform. Your-Company is the industry leader of global cyber-C2C2B Total Quality Control. We will brand the capability of metrics to monetize. The obfuscation factor is customized. We will maximize the power of experiences to envisioneer. Think proactive. We realize that if you upgrade vertically then you may also empower transparently. Think vertical. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Apache. We often whiteboard 24/7 users. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Your-Company practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The capability to facilitate virally leads to the power to incubate globally. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "fractal" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? Without process management, you will lack reporting. Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTML. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. What does it really mean to evolve "compellingly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks compliance and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and OWL. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for dealing with new 24/7 Total Quality Management? Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Think sticky, synergistic.