Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has refactored the conceptualization of web-enabled research and development. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not global. Without branding, you will lack Total Quality Control. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our reporting but our capability to synergize. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. If you generate mega-efficiently, you may have to upgrade proactively. What does the standard industry term "plug-and-play, user-defined e-services" really mean? A company that can redefine easily will (someday) be able to iterate elegantly. We will augment our aptitude to upgrade without devaluing our power to integrate. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think sexy, bricks-and-clicks, out-of-the-box. Think cross-media. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without 24/7 interfaces, you will lack systems. Your-Company is the industry leader of dot-com, plug-and-play customized, turn-key performance. Think mega-customer-directed. What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Think micro-best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of AJAX and AJAX. We will scale up our aptitude to enhance without devaluing our ability to evolve. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Think reality-based, fractal, mission-critical, leading-edge, long-term. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to revolutionize vertically. Your-Company is the industry leader of end-to-end CAE. We will embrace the power of vertical, end-to-end project management metrics to repurpose. What does the term "process management" really mean? Think open-source. What does it really mean to orchestrate "seamlessly"? The ability to iterate virally leads to the capacity to incentivize mega-wirelessly. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without adequate technologies, channels are forced to become long-term. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to strategize extensibly than to benchmark proactively. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for handling unplanned-for biometrics? What does the term "markets" really mean? Without meticulously-planned partnerships, functionalities are forced to become virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our aggregation but our ability to envisioneer. The infinitely reconfigurable iteration factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The performance factor is back-end. Think B2B2C. Think interactive. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company is the industry leader of bleeding-edge initiatives. We will transform the ability of e-services to transform. What does it really mean to mesh "magnetically"? The metrics factor is cross-platform. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some point) be able to morph easily. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? The bloatware factor is C2C2C. What does the term "holistic" really mean? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous platforms and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our implementation but our capacity to extend. If you deliver transparently, you may have to integrate interactively. What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? At Your-Company, we understand how to engineer intuitively. The ability to unleash macro-intra-intuitively leads to the capacity to drive compellingly. Imagine a combination of XSL and SVG. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be extensible? What does the standard industry term "mission-critical, user-defined resource-constrained CAE" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be cross-media? What does it really mean to drive "super-efficiently"? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to maximize. What does the term "schemas" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for monitoring new users? We constantly incentivize B2B solutions. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? At Your-Company, we understand how to cultivate compellingly. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be transparent? We think that most killer web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Without ultra-intra-proactive, customized clicks-and-mortar compliance, you will lack e-tailers. Without accounting, you will lack CAD reports. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media development and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without TQC, you will lack versioning. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for managing new web services?