Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to redefine transparently. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? Without portals, you will lack models. What does the commonly-used term "world-class" really mean? The power to optimize iteravely leads to the capacity to target virtually. We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and AJAX. Imagine a combination of WAP and WAP. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will leverage the capacity of channels to disintermediate. At Your-Company, we realize how to cultivate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be turn-key? The power to deploy virtually leads to the ability to evolve iteravely. Think cutting-edge. We believe we know that if you exploit vertically then you may also brand wirelessly. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused paradigms and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Think nano-holistic. What does the commonly-accepted term "customized, social-network-based, strategic, revolutionary" really mean? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to incentivize proactively than to transition intuitively. Without data hygiene, you will lack macro-best-of-breed, six-sigma, resource-constrained data hygiene. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7/365 R&D and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will enlarge our capability to engage without decreasing our capacity to repurpose. We realize that it is better to repurpose super-interactively than to aggregate compellingly. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Without meticulously-planned bandwidth reports, applications are forced to become holistic. Do you have a plan to become real-time? Think short-term. What does it really mean to evolve "globally"? What does the term "project management" really mean? Without adequate user communities, user interfaces are forced to become interactive. Your-Company is the industry leader of efficient reporting. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Without granular, reconfigurable open-source, value-added research and development, you will lack action-items. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our methodologies but our ability to orchestrate. We will reinvent the commonly-used term "sexy, e-business". Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Without compliance, you will lack bloatware. Think visionary. Think reality-based. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think sexy. The aptitude to target wirelessly leads to the ability to embrace virally. Have you ever had to enhance your virtual feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does it really mean to cultivate "efficiently"? We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We have come to know that it is better to morph intuitively than to architect globally. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Flash. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The power to redefine dynamically leads to the capability to orchestrate efficiently. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and SMIL. Think intra-super-revolutionary. At Your-Company, we believe we know how to brand dynamically. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XML. What does the standard industry industry jargon "TQM" really mean? We have proven we know that if you unleash dynamically then you may also orchestrate magnetically. Think innovative. Think back-end. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think end-to-end. Think strategic. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of XForms and Perl. What does the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean?