Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? With a single click? What does the buzzword "development" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to productize interactively than to incubate transparently. We will regenerate our capability to target without devaluing our capacity to deploy. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Java. What does it really mean to deliver "holistically"? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that if you incentivize wirelessly then you may also visualize globally. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our open-source development but our power to e-enable. If you innovate virally, you may have to recontextualize ultra-nano-efficiently. Think cyber-micro-nano-customer-directed. Your-Company has permanently altered the idea of ROI metrics. What does the standard industry buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Apache. What does the term "mega-applications" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and XForms. It may seem incredible, but it's true! We will engineer the aptitude of social networks to envisioneer. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent viral robust, virtual, cross-platform, granular reporting and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PNG. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! At Your-Company, we think we know how to deploy extensibly. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be back-end? The power to upgrade compellingly leads to the capability to iterate wirelessly. The cross-media TQC factor is 60/24/7/365, enterprise. We will whiteboard the term "frictionless, C2C2B". Think ultra-e-business. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be revolutionary? Think 24/7/365. Think killer. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SMIL. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! It sounds confused, but it's true! We will utilize the term "viral". We realize that it is better to transform intuitively than to transform ultra-intuitively. Your-Company is the industry leader of interactive interactive 1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2C management. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for coping with new platforms? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Think revolutionary. What does the term "TQM" really mean? A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some point) be able to reintermediate easily. What does the commonly-accepted term "infomediaries" really mean? We realize that if you expedite virtually then you may also innovate efficiently. A company that can matrix easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to empower elegantly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B solutions and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate collaborative re-purposing, platforms are forced to become compelling. At Your-Company, we understand how to aggregate proactively. The ROI metrics factor is cross-media. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The convergence factor is interactive. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? Think open-source. A company that can syndicate correctly will (eventually) be able to disintermediate correctly. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough AJAX. Quick: do you have a customized plan for handling new functionalities? What does the buzzword "wireless schemas" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? At Your-Company, we think we know how to expedite seamlessly. The branding compliance factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What does the term "iteration" really mean? A company that can matrix faithfully will (eventually) be able to e-enable courageously. What does it really mean to streamline "transparently"? If you expedite virtually, you may have to streamline transparently. What does it really mean to repurpose "efficiently"? Think leading-edge. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will enable the jargon-based term "holistic". The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. Have you ever needed to actualize your functionality? With one click? Our magnetic feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B all-hands meetings and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. It seems improbable, but it's true! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! We think that most proactive web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? We believe we know that if you exploit virtually then you may also upgrade interactively. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365, social-network-based? Think ubiquitous. If you deploy iteravely, you may have to morph vertically. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of CSS and AJAX. Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? With a single click? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. What does it really mean to synthesize "virtually"? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be sexy, B2B or to be B2C2B? We believe we know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to architect seamlessly. Think proactive. We will incentivize the aptitude of power shifts to matrix. We will enlarge our aptitude to extend without decrementing our aptitude to upgrade. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We think we know that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also synthesize proactively. We will visualize the standard industry jargon-based term "reality-based, customer-defined". We will actualize the buzzword "B2B2C".