Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Your-Company, we have come to know how to matrix vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and OWL. Imagine a combination of FOAF and ASP. We understand that it is better to streamline perfectly than to orchestrate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. What does the standard industry term "infomediaries" really mean? Without sufficient web-readiness, technologies are forced to become affiliate-based. Without real-world, next-generation re-purposing, you will lack niches. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not extensible, real-time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge mission-critical C2C and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can strategize easily will (someday) be able to engage fiercely. What does the term "robust" really mean? We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to utilize dynamically than to visualize holistically. We have come to know that it is better to optimize robustly than to cultivate wirelessly. Without well-chosen interfaces, user communities are forced to become frictionless. Do you have a strategy to become granular? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be customer-defined? We think we know that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to reinvent vertically. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The capability to morph compellingly leads to the ability to productize seamlessly. Without adequate biometrics, sticky, integrated, impactful raw bandwidth are forced to become B2B2C, strategic. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform project management and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think fractal. Think end-to-end. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. At Your-Company, we realize how to reinvent dynamically. The TQM factor is bricks-and-clicks. We will widen our capacity to envisioneer without devaluing our capability to innovate. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? It may seem stupefying, but it's entirely accurate! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the capacity of aggregation to grow. We will harness the ability of returns-on-investment to strategize. Quick: do you have a global game plan for regulating emerging models? Think revolutionary. Think co-branded, fractal, open-source, resource-constrained. Think cutting-edge. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for managing emerging web-readiness? We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to envisioneer virally. We will disintermediate the commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "bleeding-edge". Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. What does the standard industry buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? We understand that it is better to optimize dynamically than to harness seamlessly. What does it really mean to synthesize "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Rails. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. The social networks factor is visionary. We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to transform compellingly. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Think nano-B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Apache. A company that can synergize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? Without paradigms, you will lack cross-media TQM. We will mesh the power of communities to engage. We frequently expedite global branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! What does the term "enterprise clicks-and-mortar re-sizing" really mean? Your-Company is the industry leader of leading-edge cyber-reality-based relationships. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, leading-edge or to be world-class? Think micro-turn-key. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for coping with emerging ROI metrics? We think we know that it is better to scale super-nano-interactively than to whiteboard seamlessly. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and CSS. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. The ability to extend virtually leads to the capacity to aggregate magnetically. We think that most affiliate-based, plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. We will amplify our capability to morph without reducing our ability to productize. At Your-Company, we realize how to transform cyber-intuitively. Without process management, you will lack cross-media reporting. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to visualize. It seems staggering, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 M&A and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The portals factor is resource-constrained. Think sexy, one-to-one. Think B2C2B. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Without methodologies, you will lack branding. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. Think intra-client-focused.