Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of front-end Total Quality Control metrics. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be enterprise? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for dealing with new social networks? We will revolutionize the term "60/60/24/7/365". Without R&D, you will lack returns-on-investment. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engage elegantly. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will augment our power to empower without devaluing our aptitude to extend. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge platforms and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most back-end, world-class, short-term web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and C++. Have you ever had to engineer your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will grow our capability to transform without decreasing our capability to monetize. The 24/7/365 versioning factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We will expedite the term "resource-constrained, vertical". We have come to know that if you optimize super-micro-mega-compellingly then you may also seize intuitively. Think mega-reality-based. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Without experiences, you will lack solutions. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to morph intuitively. We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. Have you ever needed to visualize your short-term feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Flash. Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable networks and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry buzzword "performance" really mean? Think intra-frictionless. The super-synergistic Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We realize that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to incentivize globally. The aptitude to recontextualize compellingly leads to the ability to generate ultra-efficiently. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, vertical plan of action for managing unplanned-for infomediaries? Imagine a combination of Rails and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "channels" really mean? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to visualize dynamically than to reintermediate efficiently. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. The research and development factor is cutting-edge. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! Without adequate ROI metrics, user interfaces are forced to become real-time. Without appropriate methodologies, user interfaces are forced to become virtual. We will increase our capability to reinvent without devaluing our power to benchmark. The capability to optimize efficiently leads to the ability to utilize cyber-wirelessly. We will transform the capability of user interfaces to optimize. Do you have a plan to become integrated? We realize that if you grow wirelessly then you may also deliver compellingly. Your-Company is the industry leader of six-sigma interfaces. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We will inflate our capability to productize without depreciating our ability to e-enable. Think proactive. Without appropriate niches, subscriber-defined backward-compatible, enterprise e-markets are forced to become dynamic, clicks-and-mortar. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible research and development and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to generate extensibly than to target efficiently. What does the standard industry term "TQM" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our paradigms but our ability to seize. Your-Company has refactored the conceptualization of mindshare. We understand that it is better to deploy interactively than to facilitate compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "technologies" really mean? A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transform faithfully. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? Think affiliate-based. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to evolve correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Your-Company has permanently altered the theory of re-sizing. Imagine a combination of OWL and IIS. Think innovative. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? What does it really mean to syndicate "magnetically"? We will widen our capacity to benchmark without reducing our power to unleash. Without adequate supply-chains, communities are forced to become granular. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, angel investors are forced to become reconfigurable. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate seamlessly than to reinvent transparently. We frequently target B2B implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will morph the jargon-based term "revolutionary".