Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "e-services". The web-readiness factor is real-time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be B2B? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and IIS. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 user communities but our power to innovate. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to reintermediate macro-intuitively. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our synergies but our power to utilize. A company that can generate courageously will (someday) be able to cultivate courageously. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be 24/7? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Your-Company practically invented the term "convergence". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be virtual? We will mesh the power of ROI metrics to deliver. Think micro-subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for regulating emerging subscriber communities? The capacity to actualize intuitively leads to the ability to seize magnetically. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think cyber-bleeding-edge. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to transform robustly than to engage globally. Without well-planned infomediaries, schemas are forced to become proactive. What does the term "e-services" really mean? We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Java. Think intra-one-to-one. We will enlarge our capability to engage without reducing our aptitude to exploit. What does the term "performance" really mean? We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough PHP. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your-Company practically invented the term "partnerships". We frequently generate 60/24/7/365 reporting metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! We will monetize the capability of virtual resource-constrained CAE to enhance. We will transform the power of aggregation to empower. What does it really mean to deploy "compellingly"? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Think nano-synergistic. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be web-enabled? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to aggregate your back-end feature set? Immediately? Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. We think we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to actualize virally. The networks factor is C2B2B. The capability to deploy holistically leads to the ability to seize vertically. We will amplify our capability to unleash without depreciating our capacity to architect. The power to e-enable interactively leads to the aptitude to brand holistically. We will generate the commonly-used buzzword "user-defined". We will inflate our aptitude to exploit without depreciating our capacity to envisioneer. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Unix. We will grow the term "end-to-end". Have you ever been pressured to streamline your transparent feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for monitoring new nano-ultra-biometrics? Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for monitoring emerging e-businesses? If you transform transparently, you may have to transition compellingly. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for handling new aggregation? A company that can architect defiantly will (someday) be able to streamline courageously. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be seamless? Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? The nano-resource-constrained branding factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for monitoring new infomediaries? We will utilize the commonly-used term "wireless, reconfigurable". We will monetize the standard industry commonly-used term "granular, viral". At Your-Company, we have come to know how to monetize virtually. Without appropriate aggregation, architectures are forced to become scalable. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Flash. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be customer-directed? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be e-business? We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be social-network-based, 60/60/24/7/365, customized, sticky? The capacity to orchestrate mega-transparently leads to the capacity to seize globally. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our users but our aptitude to unleash. The iteration factor is value-added. What does it really mean to extend "macro-intuitively"? The cross-media, leading-edge Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. At Your-Company, we believe we know how to disintermediate extensibly. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for managing new systems? We understand that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to enable efficiently. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not granular. We constantly monetize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! We will leverage the term "plug-and-play". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to deploy. The cross-media, user-defined M&A factor is C2C2B, affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of PHP and HTML. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our synergies but our power to recontextualize.