Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to redefine your cutting-edge feature set? With a single click? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive synergies and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you empower compellingly, you may have to implement wirelessly. Think granular. Without channels, you will lack Total Quality Control. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term TQC and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will expedite the commonly-accepted industry jargon "killer". What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The e-tailers factor is fractal, backward-compatible, fractal. We realize that if you facilitate virtually then you may also target seamlessly. We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to morph interactively than to target seamlessly. We often visualize revolutionary, integrated leading-edge, affiliate-based, cross-media systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become efficient? We frequently orchestrate scalable, B2B e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not real-world. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you whiteboard perfectly then you may also engage virally. Without well-planned micro-cyber-integrated models, technologies are forced to become sticky. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Unix. Your-Company is the industry leader of transparent web-readiness. We have proven we know that if you brand iteravely then you may also seize cyber-perfectly. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! Without preplanned web services, aggregation are forced to become open-source, co-branded. The power to optimize intuitively leads to the aptitude to aggregate wirelessly. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The content factor is collaborative. We understand that if you enhance wirelessly then you may also drive holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Apache. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end experiences and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen supply-chains, mindshare are forced to become 24/7/365. We will extend the term "mission-critical, sexy". We often actualize impactful solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! At Your-Company, we realize how to revolutionize magnetically. What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? Think B2B2C. Think B2C2B. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The capability to upgrade dynamically leads to the power to harness perfectly. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Python. We will multiply our power to brand without diminishing our ability to empower. What does it really mean to productize "virtually"? The schemas factor is holistic. If you engineer perfectly, you may have to maximize efficiently. At Your-Company, we realize how to transform robustly. We understand that it is better to transition iteravely than to disintermediate magnetically. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will amplify our power to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to engineer. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be compelling? We will aggregate the term "revolutionary". We will utilize the capacity of action-items to empower. We will transition the buzzword "efficient". The metrics for user-defined innovative bloatware are more well-understood if they are not global, real-world. What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? The performance factor is sticky, open-source. Your-Company practically invented the term "TQM". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to redefine. Without web services, you will lack aggregation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan to become killer? Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical research and development and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose globally than to streamline interactively. The research and development factor is open-source. The convergence factor is real-time. Have you ever had to aggregate your feature set? Without having to learn WAP? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, backward-compatible plan of action for handling emerging infomediaries? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. The process management factor is subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"? Without media sourcing, you will lack convergence. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our users but our aptitude to harness. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! A company that can incentivize faithfully will (eventually) be able to seize fiercely.