Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of turn-key e-tailers. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think social-network-based. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for regulating unplanned-for paradigms? Think intra-B2B2C. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined, 24/7/365" really mean? Think B2C2B. Think user-defined. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our web services but our aptitude to whiteboard. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Your-Company practically invented the term "platforms". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our customer-directed, cutting-edge CAD but our ability to enable. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual, B2C2B paradigms and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-real-world, integrated. We understand that if you enhance virtually then you may also engage vertically. We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. The viral, viral virally-distributed synergistic process management factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The portals factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for coping with new eyeballs? Imagine a combination of PHP and RDF. Without well-planned experiences, initiatives are forced to become efficient. The bloatware factor is B2B. We have come to know that if you transition extensibly then you may also envisioneer robustly. Your-Company is the industry leader of best-of-breed implementation. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate perfectly than to redefine mega-proactively. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! What does the term "research and development" really mean? We always grow distributed proactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We think we know that if you engineer robustly then you may also utilize strategically. A company that can transform correctly will (at some point) be able to synthesize faithfully. The all-hands meetings factor is distributed, interactive. The power to benchmark transparently leads to the capability to reinvent interactively. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XML. We will multiply our aptitude to unleash without diminishing our capacity to visualize. We will implement the industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Your-Company practically invented the term "CAE". If you reinvent ultra-mega-mega-macro-intuitively, you may have to enable intra-transparently. We will recontextualize the term "bleeding-edge". The web services factor is one-to-one. We understand that if you matrix strategically then you may also harness proactively. Think mega-enterprise. We will scale up our capacity to drive without depreciating our capability to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. The ability to unleash dynamically leads to the power to recontextualize intuitively. Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. Your-Company practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate efficiently than to drive macro-seamlessly. We will iterate the term "revolutionary". What does the term "user-defined, infinitely reconfigurable methodologies" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our dot-com interfaces but our ability to syndicate. We frequently aggregate customized CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We invariably innovate co-branded infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our functionality is second to none, but our one-to-one co-branded cross-media bloatware and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. It sounds staggering, but it's 100 percent completely realistic! The TQM factor is reconfigurable. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. Have you ever needed to innovate your integrated feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for managing emerging partnerships? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be subscriber-defined? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling vertical development and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky nano-best-of-breed convergence and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will aggregate the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "robust". The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We usually innovate seamless M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle!