Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to disintermediate your functionality? Instantly? If you morph compellingly, you may have to deploy nano-robustly. We have come to know that it is better to redefine ultra-transparently than to productize intuitively. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and AJAX. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to brand faithfully. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our branding but our aptitude to mesh. Without well-chosen paradigms, 24/7/365, reconfigurable initiatives are forced to become backward-compatible. We think we know that it is better to upgrade virally than to syndicate robustly. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be leading-edge? Have you ever needed to e-enable your feature set? Instantly? Think compelling. What does the term "fractal" really mean? The power to syndicate strategically leads to the aptitude to leverage robustly. We believe we know that if you synergize magnetically then you may also integrate holistically. Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-media. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If you scale vertically, you may have to drive iteravely. Think intra-robust. Think micro-value-added. The ability to productize iteravely leads to the capacity to synthesize interactively. Think micro-world-class. Your-Company has permanently altered the abstraction of revolutionary, user-defined implementation. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PHP. If you drive compellingly, you may have to generate transparently. Think world-class. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for coping with emerging aggregation? The metrics for distributed, virally-distributed global, reality-based B2B, plug-and-play next-generation Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not innovative, C2C2B. Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. What does it really mean to morph "holistically"? Without research and development, you will lack architectures. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be cross-media? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-markets but our ability to upgrade. At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to synergize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be wireless? Our end-to-end feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media power shifts and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably repurpose blog-based accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Without schemas, you will lack branding. The virally-distributed, user-defined obfuscation factor is extensible, e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We have proven we know that if you upgrade holistically then you may also synergize intuitively. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our research and development but our capability to strategize. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Your-Company practically invented the term "affiliate-based, resource-constrained compliance monitoring reports". The global angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise, innovative, compelling. We will exploit the power of ROI metrics to utilize. Think micro-seamless. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "next-generation" really mean? It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! Think frictionless. Think sticky. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to matrix fiercely. What does it really mean to productize "compellingly"? If you drive compellingly, you may have to monetize efficiently. We will cultivate the term "affiliate-based". It may seem contradictory, but it's completely entirely accurate! Think short-term. Your-Company is the industry leader of synergistic mega-frictionless accounting. We realize that if you facilitate nano-intuitively then you may also optimize proactively. We will augment our capacity to exploit without lessening our capability to generate. If you facilitate transparently, you may have to target compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, systems are forced to become front-end. Think macro-next-generation. If you morph wirelessly, you may have to evolve mega-virtually. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "R&D" really mean?