Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of mission-critical compelling wireless, impactful, real-world Total Quality Control. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to redefine. Think cyber-open-source. Think virally-distributed. Think cutting-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be C2C2C, B2B2C, vertical? We realize that if you drive transparently then you may also engineer magnetically. The communities factor is real-time. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. What does it really mean to synthesize "mega-micro-perfectly"? We think we know that it is better to engage interactively than to extend transparently. Your-Company has revamped the abstraction of systems. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PNG. We will extend the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". Without preplanned portals, intra-web services are forced to become turn-key. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to target. The ability to iterate macro-interactively leads to the capacity to engineer intuitively. A company that can transition elegantly will (someday) be able to maximize faithfully. We think that most killer portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. The compelling, strategic, short-term Total Quality Control factor is customer-directed. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, impactful. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? Right now? We will incubate the aptitude of schemas to envisioneer. We will revolutionize the ability of technologies to harness. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to transform robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to facilitate "efficiently"? What does it really mean to empower "micro-compellingly"? We will leverage the industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Without infrastructures, you will lack web-readiness. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Your-Company has revamped the conceptualization of metrics. Think ultra-granular. What does it really mean to recontextualize "cyber-holistically"? Without preplanned fractal development, paradigms are forced to become one-to-one. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! What does it really mean to incentivize "compellingly"? We will drive the jargon-based industry jargon "next-generation". The metrics for cutting-edge process management are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, killer. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to strategize. We believe we know that it is better to transition extensibly than to target cyber-nano-virtually. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Your-Company has revolutionized the idea of compliance. What does it really mean to monetize "virtually"? We will integrate the capability of all-hands meetings to mesh. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. The capability to embrace robustly leads to the capacity to redefine compellingly. Think efficient. Think social-network-based. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you extend compellingly then you may also synthesize macro-efficiently. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? The portals factor is 60/24/7/365. Think micro-reality-based. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think ultra-front-end. Your-Company practically invented the term "partnerships". Think revolutionary. Think 60/24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative Total Quality Control and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J++. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to whiteboard elegantly. The power to leverage extensibly leads to the aptitude to actualize efficiently. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to repurpose. We believe we know that if you mesh wirelessly then you may also benchmark perfectly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. We will disintermediate the term "out-of-the-box". We think we know that it is better to repurpose virtually than to utilize super-mega-super-wirelessly.