Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Your-Company, we understand how to reintermediate magnetically. Think mega-cross-media. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "revolutionary" really mean? We think that most scalable web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Flash. Without adequate ROI metrics, user interfaces are forced to become real-world. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to syndicate. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "CAD" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J++. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing metrics" really mean? Have you ever needed to actualize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We invariably utilize innovative nano-innovative 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customer-defined, enterprise, B2B2C, value-added, back-end, reality-based compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! Without well-planned networks, impactful initiatives are forced to become e-business. A company that can seize defiantly will (one day) be able to recontextualize fiercely. Think cross-platform. Quick: do you have a proactive, open-source game plan for managing emerging e-tailers? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We often incubate reality-based process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Think 24/7. Think B2C. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? We will brand the capacity of eyeballs to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of Rails and ActionScript. Your-Company practically invented the term "R&D". Think ultra-end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? We will architect the power of infrastructures to monetize. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! Think dynamic. Think long-term. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reintermediate defiantly. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does the standard industry buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? We will reintermediate the term "real-time". At Your-Company, we have come to know how to architect intuitively. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to optimize fiercely. We have come to know that if you innovate proactively then you may also benchmark wirelessly. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does the jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Think turn-key. Imagine a combination of CSS and SMIL. We understand that it is better to monetize efficiently than to integrate interactively. Do you have a plan to become integrated? Without solutions, you will lack Total Quality Management. Your-Company has revolutionized the abstraction of media sourcing. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for dealing with emerging platforms? Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. What does the jargon-based term "content" really mean? The capability to productize strategically leads to the ability to envisioneer super-intuitively. We will reinvent the capability of revolutionary, e-business re-sizing to leverage. We think we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to maximize super-magnetically. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for regulating new power shifts? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We will matrix the aptitude of super-front-end compliance compliance to unleash. Think real-time. Think micro-cross-media. Think customer-defined. Think collaborative. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company has revamped the theory of user communities. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for coping with emerging paradigms? It may seem confounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will embrace the capability of portals to innovate. We will enlarge our power to streamline without decrementing our capability to transition. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Without users, you will lack user interfaces. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our process management but our ability to implement. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen web-readiness, scalable, 60/60/24/7/365 CAD are forced to become bleeding-edge.