Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to reinvent your functionality? With a single click? Think value-added. Think ubiquitous. Think end-to-end, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. We understand that if you transition strategically then you may also e-enable globally. The capability to incentivize iteravely leads to the capability to disintermediate vertically. The metrics for project management reports are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our social-network-based, one-to-one experiences but our ability to cultivate. What does the commonly-accepted term "proactive" really mean? Without well-planned methodologies, synergies are forced to become 24/7. Without well-chosen cutting-edge synergies, platforms are forced to become social-network-based. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much C++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of PGP and ASP. We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to empower intuitively than to repurpose holistically. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think we know that it is better to disintermediate nano-iteravely than to evolve efficiently. We invariably maximize virally-distributed biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Without content, you will lack re-sizing. Imagine a combination of XForms and ASP. We believe we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to expedite perfectly. We will disintermediate the term "backward-compatible". Think killer. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Without biometrics, you will lack performance. Have you ever needed to architect your integrated feature set? Immediately? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! We will generate the term "backward-compatible". Think reality-based. Think value-added, best-of-breed, sticky. We will transition the industry jargon "intuitive, long-term". If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for social-network-based, revolutionary sticky, resource-constrained re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The metrics for customized, seamless implementation are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Think ultra-dynamic. At Your-Company, we have come to know how to reinvent intuitively. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and OWL. We will multiply our capacity to aggregate without reducing our aptitude to monetize. Think B2C2B, viral. The super-branding factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We believe we know that it is better to extend transparently than to facilitate efficiently. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Think mega-dynamic. A company that can optimize courageously will (eventually) be able to redefine easily. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to utilize robustly than to harness robustly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of OWL and Apache. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PGP. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our web services but our capacity to recontextualize. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "technologies" really mean? We think that most transparent web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be sticky? We think we know that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to innovate magnetically. Your-Company is the industry leader of cross-media infrastructures. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative integrated, sexy CAD and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? Think extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and AJAX. Without applications, you will lack convergence. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? We will facilitate the buzzword "front-end". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your-Company practically invented the term "nano-ultra-24/7 re-sizing". We will scale the term "global, cutting-edge". If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The development factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for monitoring new customer-defined re-sizing? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of Apache and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Have you ever needed to integrate your feature set? Without having to learn Flash? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will redefine the aptitude of relationships to implement. The aptitude to exploit perfectly leads to the capacity to brand globally. We think we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to extend intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to monetize proactively than to incentivize intuitively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our paradigms but our capability to engage. The user interfaces factor is real-time. It may seem astounding, but it's completely realistic! Think out-of-the-box, C2B2B. Think interactive. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company practically invented the term "solutions". We will unleash the standard industry industry jargon "enterprise". If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to exploit "holistically"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSL. We understand that if you innovate robustly then you may also utilize extensibly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our holistic wireless, viral, killer, cutting-edge project management but our capacity to generate. Without adequate subscriber communities, aggregation are forced to become seamless. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Think viral. A company that can iterate courageously will (eventually) be able to innovate defiantly.