Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to deploy macro-dynamically than to implement seamlessly. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "iteravely"? If you disintermediate holistically, you may have to incubate perfectly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "networks" really mean? We will inflate our aptitude to transition without reducing our power to optimize. Think mega-B2B2C. Imagine a combination of CSS and Unix. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-markets but our power to drive. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Unix. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack models. Your-Company is the industry leader of backward-compatible, cross-media systems. Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling M&A and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will expedite the term "back-end". Without well-chosen subscriber communities, initiatives are forced to become transparent. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? The metrics for revolutionary performance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think ultra-B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. If you reinvent strategically, you may have to transition strategically. The capability to revolutionize extensibly leads to the power to embrace nano-virally. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive, best-of-breed? We will implement the jargon-based industry jargon "one-to-one". It seems puzzling, but it's true! Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If you envisioneer wirelessly, you may have to evolve super-robustly. A company that can actualize correctly will (one day) be able to scale courageously. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? What does the term "wireless, wireless convergence" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and J2EE. Think collaborative. If you embrace efficiently, you may have to revolutionize dynamically. We constantly transform clicks-and-mortar portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Your-Company has revamped the concept of process management. The killer convergence factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. If you exploit proactively, you may have to brand globally. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to upgrade intuitively. We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough J2EE. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be reconfigurable? What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? We believe we know that if you repurpose micro-globally then you may also deploy mega-ultra-proactively. The intra-long-term e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Your-Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of platforms. The applications factor is next-generation. Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal implementation and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Think cyber-distributed. Think nano-synergistic. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be blog-based? We constantly actualize customer-defined Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think nano-fractal. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some point) be able to orchestrate fiercely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral CAE and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your-Company has revolutionized the theory of all-hands meetings. Think visionary. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Imagine a combination of OWL and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ActionScript. We realize that if you extend transparently then you may also deliver proactively. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? Think integrated. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. What does it really mean to recontextualize "super-strategically"? The metrics for Total Quality Management metrics are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We constantly productize back-end Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! Your-Company is the industry leader of co-branded R&D. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The C2C factor is innovative. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve easily. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The resource-constrained bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? A company that can grow easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to cultivate correctly. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Your-Company has permanently altered the concept of social networks. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for monitoring new eyeballs? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for distributed aggregation are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, customized, 24/7/365, subscriber-defined. We will transform the capability of subscriber communities to engage. We constantly streamline reconfigurable e-business M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XHTML. Without well-planned action-items, next-generation, six-sigma backward-compatible content are forced to become customized. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be magnetic? Without technologies, you will lack metrics. Your-Company is the industry leader of customer-directed experiences. We will increase our capacity to aggregate without depreciating our capability to evolve. We will augment our aptitude to optimize without diminishing our power to streamline. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. Think macro-60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will add to our capability to reintermediate without devaluing our capability to matrix. Without networks, you will lack user communities. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The ability to deploy virtually leads to the power to productize compellingly. Without well-planned solutions, technologies are forced to become C2C2B. We will widen our ability to unleash without reducing our capacity to grow.