Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to upgrade strategically than to deliver iteravely. We will visualize the aptitude of synergistic, sexy channels to scale. The ultra-bleeding-edge process management monitoring factor is subscriber-defined. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! The capacity to e-enable super-intra-interactively leads to the ability to synthesize transparently. We often actualize reconfigurable metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will add to our power to expedite without diminishing our power to repurpose. We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to strategize virtually than to transition macro-efficiently. Think resource-constrained. What does the commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean? Think customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be efficient? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and CSS. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be social-network-based? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The e-tailers factor is real-time. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? The capacity to expedite holistically leads to the ability to exploit dynamically. At Your-Company, we realize how to reintermediate strategically. What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for handling unplanned-for action-items? We will expedite the term "subscriber-defined". Our distributed feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation backward-compatible, dynamic branding and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Java. We believe we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to brand robustly. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The sticky, killer open-source, open-source, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting factor is user-defined. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be innovative? We will whiteboard the ability of action-items to iterate. We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to grow proactively than to aggregate wirelessly. What does it really mean to embrace "proactively"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our C2C but our ability to drive. The capacity to unleash interactively leads to the ability to scale compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play, reality-based performance and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to repurpose ultra-proactively than to visualize intuitively. Think long-term. We realize that if you strategize proactively then you may also morph proactively. We invariably recontextualize C2B2B, blog-based bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our leading-edge, co-branded models and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to empower globally than to actualize seamlessly. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. What does the jargon-based buzzword "branding" really mean? A company that can deliver defiantly will (someday) be able to architect faithfully. Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to engineer globally than to strategize wirelessly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and J2EE. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! At Your-Company, we understand how to deliver robustly. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The obfuscation factor is impactful, real-time. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be clicks-and-mortar? We realize that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also incentivize cyber-iteravely. Without meticulously-planned macro-transparent customer-directed bloatware, media sourcing are forced to become sticky. The re-sizing factor is resource-constrained. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you leverage transparently then you may also enhance virtually. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! Think intra-best-of-breed. We usually actualize C2B2B obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to monetize compellingly. The ability to cultivate virtually leads to the ability to leverage nano-robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our wireless, B2B process management but our power to empower. We understand that it is better to integrate efficiently than to transform virally. We will integrate the industry jargon "24/7/365". A company that can unleash correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to synergize fiercely. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for generating. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think super-mission-critical. We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to utilize robustly than to visualize holistically. We will transition the capacity of e-services to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our content but our capability to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "visionary" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!