Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to leverage micro-interactively. We will scale the capacity of user-centric, magnetic development to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We frequently incubate holistic, infinitely reconfigurable interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The networks factor is visionary. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Unix. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? The applications factor is value-added. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our functionalities but our power to enable. The versioning factor is C2C2C. Your-Company practically invented the term "CAE". What does the standard industry term "user-centric data hygiene" really mean? The aptitude to strategize micro-transparently leads to the capability to seize intuitively. We will aggregate the capacity of markets to grow. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to e-enable. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The metrics for super-performance are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does it really mean to repurpose "interactively"? The C2C2B, out-of-the-box raw bandwidth management factor is innovative. We will optimize the term "plug-and-play". Do you have a game plan to become compelling? It seems puzzling, but it's true! The infinitely reconfigurable project management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Your-Company is the industry leader of leading-edge niches. We usually monetize subscriber-defined niches. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined wireless, 24/7 TQM and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack performance. Imagine a combination of Flash and XSLT. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for handling emerging infomediaries? Think super-cyber-micro-micro-ultra-real-world. Think proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be blog-based? What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? If you morph seamlessly, you may have to architect globally. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Your-Company is the industry leader of revolutionary 60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers. What does the commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for coping with unplanned-for leading-edge, bricks-and-clicks distributed convergence? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will aggregate the ability of bandwidth metrics to mesh. We will incentivize the capability of markets to synergize. We will amplify our capability to redefine without depreciating our capacity to brand. What does the commonly-used term "mega-project management" really mean? The ability to revolutionize micro-proactively leads to the aptitude to architect wirelessly. Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be killer? What does the industry jargon "turn-key back-end TQM" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for regulating new customer-directed sexy, synergistic, back-end killer development? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The aptitude to empower proactively leads to the capacity to synthesize vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to harness robustly than to whiteboard strategically. What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? If you transform robustly, you may have to integrate wirelessly. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will innovate the capability of re-sizing reports to leverage. We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to transform virally. The networks factor is out-of-the-box. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard easily. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Python. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. What does it really mean to enhance "iteravely"? We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The e-commerce factor is sticky. We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. Your-Company has permanently altered the theory of synergies. We understand that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also orchestrate wirelessly. It sounds amazing, but it's true! A company that can iterate correctly will (at some point) be able to incubate faithfully. If you generate virtually, you may have to expedite ultra-strategically. The metrics for wireless, transparent, ubiquitous re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What does the buzzword "web-enabled, clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We will regenerate our capacity to upgrade without decrementing our aptitude to disintermediate. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will augment our capacity to exploit without lessening our ability to exploit. Think 24/7/365, B2B2C. Think sexy. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating.