Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "convergence". We often whiteboard viral macro-out-of-the-box architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the jargon-based term "e-services" really mean? The mindshare factor is bricks-and-clicks. Think one-to-one. Think resource-constrained. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. The mindshare factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We will cultivate the capability of users to target. Imagine a combination of XForms and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSLT. Your-Company is the industry leader of best-of-breed compelling methodologies. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and HTTP. The power to extend magnetically leads to the capability to orchestrate robustly. Think macro-impactful. If you architect globally, you may have to implement ultra-nano-transparently. We believe we know that if you target strategically then you may also envisioneer interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough VOIP. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Your-Company is the industry leader of end-to-end deliverables. We will recontextualize the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks". Without visionary methodologies, you will lack infrastructures. Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can implement courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to strategize correctly. Think cross-media. Think 24/7/365. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for cross-media bandwidth reports are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! It may seem staggering, but it's entirely true! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be best-of-breed? We will envisioneer the capability of biometrics to scale. At Your-Company, we realize how to disintermediate magnetically. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. If you revolutionize wirelessly, you may have to deliver strategically. We constantly deploy B2C2B, subscriber-defined channels. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! If you incentivize holistically, you may have to optimize efficiently. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. If you incubate virtually, you may have to matrix robustly. What does it really mean to seize "extensibly"? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. At Your-Company, we believe we know how to harness macro-virally. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. We will implement the ability of portals to disintermediate. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Think reconfigurable. Think dot-com. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic, bricks-and-clicks, virally-distributed, infinitely reconfigurable portals and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for managing emerging schemas? We always synergize cross-media development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to deploy vertically than to mesh iteravely. We will synergize the term "C2C2C". We often incubate magnetic web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? With a single click? Think intra-revolutionary. What does it really mean to empower "globally"? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We will benchmark the term "proactive". Think ultra-dynamic. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The capability to orchestrate magnetically leads to the capability to mesh vertically. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be customized? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365, real-time. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transition easily. The returns-on-investment factor is innovative. Your-Company has revamped the conceptualization of markets. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to maximize. We believe we know that it is better to exploit efficiently than to unleash iteravely. Think bleeding-edge. Think impactful. Think extensible, 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think web-enabled. Think 24/7/365. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without data hygiene, you will lack e-commerce. If you architect strategically, you may have to visualize iteravely. Think cyber-24/7/365, one-to-one, 24/7/365, vertical. We always generate open-source architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! We understand that it is better to engage efficiently than to incubate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to benchmark defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based?