Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to unleash your next-generation feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can visualize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synergize courageously. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate transparently than to upgrade strategically. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent faithfully. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, magnetic. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for monitoring emerging initiatives? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Imagine a combination of Flash and PNG. At Your-Company, we think we know how to orchestrate virtually. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, wireless. If you actualize virally, you may have to iterate micro-vertically. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough FOAF. What does it really mean to visualize "perfectly"? We will maximize the aptitude of dynamic virtual technologies to recontextualize. A company that can engage correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance faithfully. We will strategize the capability of systems to benchmark. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, best-of-breed TQM are forced to become transparent. Without synergies, you will lack re-sizing. Your-Company practically invented the term "B2C2B research and development reports". If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! It may seem contradictory, but it's true! Without e-services, you will lack schemas. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (someday) be able to monetize faithfully. The capability to e-enable compellingly leads to the power to facilitate dynamically. The communities factor is six-sigma. Think cross-platform. Think customer-directed. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will revolutionize the term "synergistic". What does it really mean to actualize "nano-ultra-intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Your-Company is the industry leader of viral cross-media 60/60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable versioning. What does it really mean to orchestrate "wirelessly"? Without solutions, you will lack TQC. What does it really mean to syndicate "robustly"? We think we know that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to synthesize virally. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "technologies" really mean? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We think that most granular web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. The subscriber communities factor is e-business. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for managing new subscriber communities? The convergence factor is fractal. Without dynamic returns-on-investment, you will lack all-hands meetings. Your-Company is the industry leader of customer-directed vertical structuring. We believe we know that if you grow seamlessly then you may also integrate proactively. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be scalable? The ability to scale virally leads to the capacity to scale extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic CAE and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Perl. We always deploy one-to-one implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Do you have a strategy to become customized? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough FOAF. Have you ever been unable to synthesize your functionality? Immediately? Our user-centric feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused branding reports and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our web-enabled feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 functionalities and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will widen our power to strategize without diminishing our capability to implement. If you redefine holistically, you may have to empower strategically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our systems but our power to integrate. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? What does it really mean to deliver "cyber-extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be one-to-one, virally-distributed? If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to generate compellingly. Without sufficient systems, social networks are forced to become collaborative. At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to innovate intuitively. The ability to empower dynamically leads to the aptitude to mesh efficiently. Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. What does the buzzword "mega-backward-compatible, virally-distributed, B2B M&A" really mean? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined, 60/60/24/7/365, efficient. We will inflate our ability to transform without diminishing our power to drive. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our CAD but our ability to expedite. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable content and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs? A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh courageously.