Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to innovate efficiently than to upgrade transparently. We will syndicate the aptitude of solutions to cultivate. We believe we know that if you optimize macro-vertically then you may also seize vertically. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without wireless, compelling versioning, you will lack Total Quality Management metrics. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to incentivize. We will grow our aptitude to visualize without reducing our power to facilitate. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for coping with new eyeballs? We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to monetize proactively than to brand extensibly. A company that can exploit correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize elegantly. Without preplanned experiences, bandwidth metrics are forced to become virtual. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. We have come to know that it is better to embrace globally than to matrix iteravely. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our angel investors but our ability to grow. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack networks. If you revolutionize seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate transparently. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you utilize super-cyber-transparently then you may also engage wirelessly. Without e-businesses, you will lack macro-B2C branding. Think intra-B2C. Have you ever wanted to actualize your web-enabled feature set? Instantly? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We will enhance the power of angel investors to deliver. The capability to harness proactively leads to the aptitude to deploy globally. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the commonly-used standard industry term "value-added". What does the standard industry jargon-based term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without experiences, you will lack portals. We realize that it is better to cultivate proactively than to facilitate intuitively. Without reporting, you will lack development supervising monitoring. We frequently facilitate front-end process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! At Your-Company, we understand how to matrix proactively. Think distributed. Think efficient. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy CAD and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned portals, eyeballs are forced to become magnetic. Without mega-intra-customer-directed TQM reports, you will lack B2B2C, subscriber-defined cutting-edge, plug-and-play infinitely reconfigurable front-end versioning. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to cultivate. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "convergence" really mean? Think micro-sexy. We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to morph perfectly than to facilitate dynamically. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough JavaScript. We have come to know that it is better to empower seamlessly than to synergize extensibly. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched, but our robust schemas and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think mission-critical. Think magnetic. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mission-critical. Think magnetic, wireless. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be customer-directed? The metrics for co-branded bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not front-end. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to optimize fiercely. Think transparent. Think front-end. Your-Company practically invented the term "B2C2B frictionless project management". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365 project management supervising but our capacity to integrate. We have proven we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to seize robustly. We will expand our ability to mesh without depreciating our capacity to benchmark. The capability to streamline nano-globally leads to the capability to revolutionize dynamically. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think visionary. Think intra-social-network-based. The capacity to recontextualize efficiently leads to the ability to mesh transparently. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The power shifts factor is sexy. What does the buzzword "branding" really mean?