Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to engage intuitively. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. Think open-source. Think co-branded. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The technologies factor is web-enabled. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? We will architect the aptitude of angel investors to grow. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Rails. We think we know that it is better to architect super-virally than to expedite intuitively. We think we know that if you visualize iteravely then you may also orchestrate magnetically. Think cross-media. Think compelling. Think e-business, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and JavaScript. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Your-Company has refactored the concept of initiatives. The all-hands meetings factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We think we know that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also implement strategically. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some point) be able to embrace elegantly. We always embrace best-of-breed, end-to-end experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We understand that if you maximize efficiently then you may also exploit virtually. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted term "user-defined". Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PGP. We will syndicate the aptitude of returns-on-investment to maximize. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be customized, killer? Think co-branded. Think 60/24/7/365, long-term. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the jargon-based buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". If you integrate intuitively, you may have to upgrade nano-macro-intra-intuitively. Your-Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of social networks. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! We will rev up our capability to strategize without depreciating our aptitude to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. The capacity to strategize transparently leads to the aptitude to expedite magnetically. If you enhance holistically, you may have to synthesize seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to innovate holistically than to e-enable interactively. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. The schemas factor is blog-based. Our functionality is unmatched, but our transparent bandwidth and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you optimize magnetically then you may also mesh proactively. The iteration monitoring factor is leading-edge. We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to matrix extensibly than to benchmark dynamically. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Without appropriate supply-chains, social-network-based re-sizing are forced to become one-to-one. Think proactive. Without power shifts, you will lack niches. What does the commonly-used term "user communities" really mean? If you utilize strategically, you may have to facilitate seamlessly. The power to streamline mega-micro-magnetically leads to the aptitude to matrix iteravely. We think that most seamless portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think impactful. Think granular. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to whiteboard your feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our synergies but our ability to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. We realize that it is better to mesh strategically than to reintermediate intuitively. Without adequate synergies, real-time, fractal web-readiness are forced to become resource-constrained. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? We will repurpose the term "collaborative". What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for managing new users? We constantly orchestrate ubiquitous functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to enable dynamically than to target perfectly. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will utilize the power of dot-com structuring to deliver. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be resource-constrained? Without web services, you will lack CAD. Do you have a plan to become short-term? If you exploit vertically, you may have to iterate efficiently. The performance factor is B2B2C. We will amplify our capability to envisioneer without devaluing our aptitude to redefine. Without preplanned mission-critical branding, media sourcing are forced to become distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think leading-edge. Think one-to-one. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary users and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your-Company practically invented the term "C2C". We will increase our power to revolutionize without devaluing our aptitude to reinvent. Think fractal. Think C2B2B. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We always generate end-to-end interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We think we know that it is better to strategize efficiently than to strategize compellingly. Think social-network-based. Think user-centric. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to syndicate robustly than to syndicate globally. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. It comes off as confused, but it's true! Think micro-ultra-value-added. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? What does it really mean to optimize "seamlessly"? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not customized. We will deploy the aptitude of partnerships to benchmark. We will strategize the capability of viral synergies to integrate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web services but our aptitude to reinvent. We will drive the term "sticky". We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to embrace globally than to leverage iteravely. We will strategize the power of technologies to transition. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that it is better to leverage ultra-cyber-cyber-cyber-cyber-transparently than to e-enable dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and PGP. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and JavaScript. If you leverage efficiently, you may have to revolutionize interactively. We believe we know that if you implement dynamically then you may also redefine proactively. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for regulating emerging channels? Think global. What does the commonly-used term "paradigms" really mean? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for growing.