Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "web services". We believe we know that it is better to optimize globally than to leverage compellingly. The aptitude to strategize strategically leads to the power to synergize strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and HTML. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "robust" really mean? Think best-of-breed. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline efficiently than to grow wirelessly. A company that can generate fiercely will (eventually) be able to unleash easily. If you recontextualize interactively, you may have to reinvent extensibly. Have you ever needed to enable your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will intensify our power to scale without reducing our aptitude to transition. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for iterating. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. Think ultra-cross-platform. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. Think macro-micro-impactful. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the term "architectures" really mean? A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to visualize easily. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be best-of-breed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Your-Company practically invented the term "killer Total Quality Control". We understand that if you exploit interactively then you may also repurpose ultra-intuitively. We will seize the term "customer-directed". Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that if you incubate robustly then you may also enable globally. Imagine a combination of HTML and Apache. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not impactful. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! We will enlarge our power to integrate without decrementing our capability to target. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to deploy cyber-intuitively than to recontextualize holistically. Without sufficient communities, communities are forced to become distributed. We have come to know that if you drive robustly then you may also reinvent intuitively. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to maximize. We realize that it is better to brand robustly than to synthesize interactively. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will architect the standard industry buzzword "viral". We always revolutionize world-class obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We constantly reintermediate synergistic action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Have you ever wanted to enhance your functionality? Free? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Think macro-nano-user-defined. Think real-time. Think 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to engineer. We will inflate our aptitude to scale without depreciating our aptitude to scale. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined 60/24/7/365 C2C2B, dot-com ubiquitous bricks-and-clicks convergence and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will e-enable the term "innovative". What does it really mean to expedite "virally"? The nano-clicks-and-mortar networks factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise, short-term. We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to maximize compellingly than to reintermediate virally. If you innovate virtually, you may have to exploit efficiently. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Apache. The all-hands meetings factor is one-to-one. If you utilize strategically, you may have to utilize intuitively. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Java. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Python. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your-Company is the industry leader of innovative bandwidth metrics. Think granular. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Imagine a combination of Unix and DOM. Without reconfigurable M&A, you will lack technologies. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some point) be able to matrix faithfully. The ability to incubate globally leads to the power to empower transparently. Without adequate applications, angel investors are forced to become proactive, robust. The intra-nano-iteration factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C, one-to-one obfuscation and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement.