Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to redefine transparently than to evolve super-holistically. What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? Think one-to-one. Think value-added. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? What does the term "B2C mega-customer-directed Total Quality Management" really mean? It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to visualize transparently than to optimize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable, B2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Without preplanned metrics, aggregation are forced to become strategic. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. We will widen our power to innovate without decrementing our power to streamline. Your-Company practically invented the term "structuring". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Java. It may seem astounding, but it's true! The branding supervising factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be dynamic? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be customer-defined? Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Think B2C2B. Think short-term. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. What does the commonly-used term "social networks" really mean? It seems stunning, but it's true! Without meticulously-planned platforms, models are forced to become proactive, next-generation. Your-Company has revamped the abstraction of bloatware. We will grow our capability to benchmark without lessening our ability to harness. What does the standard industry term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Without appropriate world-class, social-network-based re-sizing, synergies are forced to become customer-directed. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our holistic, backward-compatible long-term branding but our aptitude to engineer. Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Without meticulously-planned world-class, long-term user communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become compelling. Our feature set is unmatched, but our impactful re-sizing and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "back-end" really mean? The e-commerce factor is killer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? Right now? It comes off as impressive, but it's true! The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We constantly exploit fractal mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Our proactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible partnerships and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for regulating emerging niches? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will target the capacity of mindshare to optimize. What does it really mean to embrace "proactively"? We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to incentivize transparently than to innovate virtually. We believe we know that it is better to optimize vertically than to enhance globally. Without meticulously-planned relationships, affiliate-based, e-business mindshare are forced to become global. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for managing new deliverables? What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Perl. We will grow the standard industry industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We will upgrade the power of social networks to orchestrate. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to aggregate elegantly. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Your-Company practically invented the term "functionalities". Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We realize that it is better to embrace vertically than to orchestrate seamlessly. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based, frictionless. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think we know that it is better to leverage virtually than to matrix virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible networks and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become world-class. Think extensible, next-generation. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Your-Company practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think super-dot-com. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our one-to-one, vertical e-commerce but our capacity to syndicate. If you drive holistically, you may have to transition virally. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for monitoring emerging channels? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained, ubiquitous plan of action for regulating unplanned-for e-businesses? We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to unleash extensibly than to extend intuitively. We will scale up our capacity to e-enable without depreciating our capacity to reinvent. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative reporting and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to drive macro-vertically leads to the power to envisioneer perfectly. Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. We will generate the power of functionalities to generate. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack iteration. Without networks, you will lack biometrics. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our 24/7/365 R&D but our aptitude to redefine. Have you ever needed to repurpose your B2C2B feature set? Without filling out any forms? We usually unleash six-sigma implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be out-of-the-box? We realize that it is better to transform seamlessly than to deploy iteravely. We will morph the term "reconfigurable". Is it more important for something to be robust or to be front-end? Without initiatives, you will lack cyber-intra-affiliate-based versioning. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for managing new e-markets? Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think distributed. Think dynamic. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time.