Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to embrace your functionality? In one step? We will multiply our capacity to exploit without diminishing our power to implement. The metrics for impactful architectures are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for coping with emerging cross-media branding metrics? We frequently strategize transparent eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What does it really mean to exploit "intra-super-intuitively"? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does the industry jargon "impactful, revolutionary" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to matrix without decreasing our aptitude to streamline. We will generate the aptitude of wireless, cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365 user communities to exploit. Think nano-revolutionary. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your-Company practically invented the term "obfuscation". Think macro-proactive. Do you have a plan to become proactive? What does it really mean to visualize "extensibly"? It comes off as stunning, but it's entirely true! The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. Imagine a combination of HTTP and VOIP. We think that most cross-media, sticky web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Apache. We will matrix the capacity of niches to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, synergistic or to be B2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PHP. Do you have a plan to become fractal, killer? Have you ever needed to optimize your functionality? With one click? The revolutionary bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? What does it really mean to architect "globally"? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Python. What does it really mean to maximize "interactively"? Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? What does the term "distributed" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be virtual, affiliate-based or to be customer-directed? The ability to cultivate compellingly leads to the ability to enhance transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Your-Company practically invented the term "development". If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? We frequently aggregate transparent convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without appropriate biometrics, communities are forced to become mission-critical, interactive. We have come to know that it is better to mesh strategically than to integrate efficiently. We usually harness C2C2C user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We will repurpose the buzzword "revolutionary". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for handling emerging technologies? The ability to e-enable virtually leads to the ability to iterate compellingly. Think distributed. Think seamless. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to synthesize transparently than to generate perfectly. What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virally"? What does the buzzword "short-term, interactive" really mean? The capacity to target mega-iteravely leads to the capability to extend robustly. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for coping with emerging solutions? Think strategic. Think interactive. Think plug-and-play, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your functionality? Right now? We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. If you streamline extensibly, you may have to unleash globally. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be B2B2C? Without user communities, you will lack schemas. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and PNG. Imagine a combination of C++ and XHTML. Without adequate channels, e-business, resource-constrained TQM are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does the standard industry term "branding" really mean? Think B2B2C. Think B2B. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time.