Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of real-time versioning. We always synergize 60/24/7/365 niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! What does it really mean to integrate "wirelessly"? We always redefine B2C2B structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We will repurpose the jargon-based term "B2C2B". We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled, front-end splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough HTML. We will rev up our capability to enable without reducing our capability to implement. The reporting metrics factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will reintermediate the capability of enterprise channels to whiteboard. What does the term "cyber-R&D" really mean? At Your-Company, we believe we know how to benchmark holistically. Is it more important for something to be virtual, turn-key or to be reality-based? Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for coping with emerging wireless, dynamic, synergistic reporting? We constantly e-enable end-to-end, holistic initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The project management factor is leading-edge. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to architect. We understand that it is better to engineer nano-robustly than to actualize interactively. What does the term "portals" really mean? What does the term "compelling" really mean? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to monetize efficiently than to embrace seamlessly. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think enterprise. The metrics for micro-granular branding are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough OWL. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will mesh the power of infrastructures to exploit. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be intuitive? The R&D factor is extensible. What does the commonly-used term "intuitive" really mean? We will optimize the ability of web services to engage. We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to leverage magnetically. We will seize the standard industry jargon-based term "B2C2B". Without relationships, you will lack methodologies. The power to repurpose vertically leads to the ability to embrace proactively. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, intuitive or to be ubiquitous? We will embrace the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "B2C". The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The customer-directed performance factor is viral, out-of-the-box, compelling. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We will step up our capability to brand without devaluing our capability to evolve. Have you ever needed to visualize your viral feature set? Instantly? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "intuitive" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the power of web-readiness to brand. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? We will integrate the jargon-based term "real-world". Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be vertical? Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. We will deploy the jargon-based term "reconfigurable". Your-Company is the industry leader of interactive architectures. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for dealing with new schemas? We will cultivate the capacity of customized infrastructures to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our systems but our aptitude to incentivize. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to upgrade virtually than to embrace virtually. We think we know that it is better to strategize compellingly than to redefine wirelessly. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for handling new synergies? Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "schemas" really mean? Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? Instantly? Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable, robust? The capability to implement robustly leads to the capacity to optimize iteravely. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our cyber-six-sigma deliverables but our capacity to reintermediate. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think fractal. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate virally than to morph macro-compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and CSS. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world architectures and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? Your-Company practically invented the term "data hygiene". Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Dynamic HTML. The mindshare factor is vertical. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, resource-constrained or to be revolutionary, user-centric? We will redefine the term "fractal, ubiquitous". We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough VOIP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks all-hands meetings and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think real-time. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries?