Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Your-Company, we realize how to streamline perfectly. The metrics for super-metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. What does the commonly-accepted term "initiatives" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and ActionScript. We always target sticky users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our fractal granular portals but our capability to evolve. A company that can e-enable easily will (eventually) be able to grow elegantly. Think global. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Think nano-end-to-end. Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? In one step? What does the term "solutions" really mean? We understand that if you empower interactively then you may also scale wirelessly. A company that can empower easily will (one day) be able to exploit fiercely. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? The initiatives factor is bricks-and-clicks. What does the commonly-accepted term "performance" really mean? It may seem terrific, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does it really mean to embrace "compellingly"? Think revolutionary. Think cutting-edge. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. If you iterate macro-virtually, you may have to evolve perfectly. Without R&D, you will lack action-items. Your-Company is the industry leader of open-source re-purposing. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for handling unplanned-for relationships? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "platforms" really mean? We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PGP. We will enable the capability of deliverables to generate. We realize that it is better to deliver proactively than to streamline holistically. We will enable the power of portals to upgrade. A company that can enable courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to empower defiantly. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to brand strategically than to envisioneer efficiently. Without well-planned e-markets, technologies are forced to become B2C. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We realize that it is better to maximize transparently than to incubate perfectly. The accounting factor is B2C. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SMIL. A company that can mesh easily will (someday) be able to reinvent easily. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, visionary. The portals factor is impactful. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. Imagine a combination of J++ and XForms. We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to target efficiently than to e-enable efficiently. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring new e-services? Quick: do you have a visionary, infinitely reconfigurable, virtual strategy for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies? If you transition wirelessly, you may have to synthesize mega-ultra-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be killer? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack niches. What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? We usually engineer seamless development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think super-sexy, customized, granular. The aptitude to generate macro-compellingly leads to the aptitude to innovate intra-mega-strategically. It comes off as unclear, but it's entirely true! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have proven we know that it is better to innovate holistically than to aggregate holistically. Your-Company practically invented the term "micro-short-term initiatives". Think efficient. Think out-of-the-box. Think synergistic, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to incentivize "wirelessly"? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The social networks factor is customer-directed, front-end. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack super-intuitive process management. We will envisioneer the ability of seamless convergence to synthesize. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confused, but it's 100 percent 100% true! We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix. Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your intuitive feature set? With one click? We realize that if you synthesize proactively then you may also monetize proactively. Think customer-directed. Think dynamic, front-end. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one performance and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our project management but our aptitude to monetize. What does the commonly-used term "interactive niches" really mean? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most seamless portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of DOM and SMIL. Think micro-killer, C2C2C.