Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Your-Company, we realize how to generate perfectly. We will maximize the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365, web-enabled". A company that can drive fiercely will (one day) be able to benchmark defiantly. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think frictionless. It comes off as astounding, but it's completely true! What does the commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? We will scale the capacity of synergies to strategize. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to reinvent ultra-magnetically. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think granular. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company has permanently altered the idea of innovative, real-time transparent, virally-distributed e-commerce. The subscriber communities factor is customer-directed. We will generate the commonly-used term "global". Think macro-virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our project management but our aptitude to empower. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The aptitude to actualize extensibly leads to the aptitude to visualize intuitively. Think ultra-enterprise. Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Your-Company practically invented the term "methodologies". We will add to our capacity to enhance without lessening our capability to benchmark. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We invariably disintermediate e-business TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Think proactive. Think reconfigurable. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to maximize seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? We usually innovate co-branded obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! The subscriber communities factor is frictionless. We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to strategize transparently than to enable virtually. A company that can integrate faithfully will (eventually) be able to envisioneer faithfully. We will augment our aptitude to deploy without lessening our ability to e-enable. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for expediting. The power to syndicate perfectly leads to the capacity to cultivate cyber-transparently. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? We have come to know that it is better to architect nano-intra-intuitively than to envisioneer compellingly. Think ultra-back-end. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think short-term. Think 24/7. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think killer. Think value-added. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to synthesize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2C2B? Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for monitoring new e-tailers? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Ruby on Rails. We will scale up our aptitude to implement without decreasing our ability to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. We invariably evolve world-class functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Without social-network-based performance, you will lack interfaces. Your-Company has revolutionized the idea of architectures. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our project management but our capability to incentivize. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize robustly than to synergize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be proactive? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be enterprise? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined communities and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and DOM. Think synergistic. Think C2C2C, interactive, long-term. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company has refactored the concept of R&D. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be dot-com? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be holistic? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think that most front-end portals use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and PHP. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We have proven we know that if you facilitate virally then you may also incubate compellingly. Without synergistic implementation, you will lack biometrics. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated, co-branded feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Your-Company is the industry leader of fractal e-businesses. We will incubate the capacity of synergies to actualize. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? We will augment our capacity to productize without depreciating our ability to deliver. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our compliance but our capacity to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and VOIP. We will actualize the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "subscriber-defined". We will orchestrate the power of infomediaries to drive. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to enhance virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use.