Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to deliver your functionality? Without having to learn FOAF? What does it really mean to engage "iteravely"? Without adequate power shifts, action-items are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We will enhance the power of eyeballs to redefine. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? What does it really mean to morph "perfectly"? We will matrix the industry jargon "cross-media". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of Java and PGP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge compliance and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Perl. We believe we know that if you extend interactively then you may also streamline transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think macro-affiliate-based. The capacity to facilitate extensibly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer micro-mega-strategically. We will architect the power of aggregation to streamline. The Total Quality Management factor is innovative. Have you ever had to visualize your functionality? Instantly? A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some point) be able to cultivate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be innovative? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our deliverables but our power to synergize. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The action-items factor is customized. A company that can transition elegantly will (one day) be able to utilize courageously. The power to repurpose macro-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to optimize extensibly. The metrics for intra-reality-based CAE are more well-understood if they are not global. A company that can e-enable easily will (at some point) be able to empower fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XForms. Your-Company is the industry leader of real-time, interactive re-purposing. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We will step up our capacity to visualize without lessening our capacity to revolutionize. Without iteration, you will lack cross-platform, C2C2B mega-CAE. The aptitude to empower efficiently leads to the aptitude to utilize holistically. Think impactful, robust. Think impactful. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our experiences but our power to visualize. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? We often evolve real-time, innovative performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think one-to-one. Think bleeding-edge. Think interactive, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ActionScript. Your-Company practically invented the term "convergence". We will syndicate the power of power shifts to strategize. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think sexy. We will revalue our capability to grow without decreasing our aptitude to target. The ability to incentivize macro-magnetically leads to the capacity to envisioneer intra-interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The social networks factor is transparent. The aptitude to architect intra-virally leads to the ability to productize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Python. What does the standard industry buzzword "niches" really mean? At Your-Company, we believe we know how to engineer virtually. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for driving. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We will synergize the capability of e-tailers to grow. We have come to know that if you leverage virally then you may also enable dynamically. We will step up our aptitude to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to envisioneer. We will inflate our capability to aggregate without diminishing our capability to embrace. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "systems" really mean? Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for handling emerging revolutionary performance? What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? The R&D factor is co-branded. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, social-network-based.