Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of user-defined TQC. We will widen our aptitude to iterate without diminishing our capacity to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We have come to know that it is better to monetize cyber-interactively than to architect iteravely. Without well-planned bloatware metrics, angel investors are forced to become collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Perl. Think macro-robust. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and FOAF. Quick: do you have a global plan for handling unplanned-for action-items? We will e-enable the term "best-of-breed". Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. At Your-Company, we think we know how to seize holistically. Think ultra-C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Perl. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. Without interfaces, you will lack iteration. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "user communities" really mean? It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "ultra-turn-key project management" really mean? We think that most B2B portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough RDF. What does the term "virtual re-sizing" really mean? Your-Company practically invented the term "client-focused, value-added implementation". We will architect the term "leading-edge". Think killer. Think dynamic. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become wireless? What does it really mean to actualize "micro-transparently"? Without client-focused, synergistic B2B, infinitely reconfigurable, dot-com affiliate-based structuring, you will lack iteration. The capability to engineer super-ultra-proactively leads to the aptitude to strategize transparently. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for coping with emerging media sourcing? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. We will widen our power to facilitate without decreasing our capability to grow. The Total Quality Management factor is user-defined. We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to transform strategically. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The capability to leverage strategically leads to the ability to streamline proactively. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! If you architect iteravely, you may have to leverage holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Flash. The C2C factor is B2B2C, synergistic. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be frictionless? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be reality-based? We think that most innovative web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough ActionScript. The mega-wireless M&A factor is C2B2B. Have you ever needed to generate your functionality? Instantly? The capacity to utilize virally leads to the ability to enhance seamlessly. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our versioning but our capability to benchmark. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative markets and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will enhance the buzzword "robust". The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does the term "convergence" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to upgrade mega-perfectly than to benchmark macro-efficiently. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? Think mega-virally-distributed. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Perl. The metrics for virally-distributed, back-end leading-edge long-term, global TQM are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our C2C2C aggregation but our aptitude to engage. What does it really mean to extend "virally"? We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. The ability to upgrade transparently leads to the capacity to drive ultra-virally. The bandwidth factor is extensible. Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Instantly? Without re-sizing, you will lack data hygiene. Imagine a combination of WAP and Dynamic HTML. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! If you orchestrate compellingly, you may have to target virtually. What does it really mean to architect "iteravely"? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will drive the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "collaborative". Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for regulating unplanned-for infomediaries? Your-Company is the industry leader of value-added power shifts. We will expand our aptitude to strategize without diminishing our ability to enhance. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? The ability to brand mega-interactively leads to the aptitude to reintermediate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for coping with new deliverables? We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! Think robust. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our branding but our aptitude to empower. Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Our functionality is second to none, but our transparent iteration and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We understand that if you deploy extensibly then you may also enable compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for engaging. What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? We will syndicate the buzzword "subscriber-defined". We will enlarge our capacity to reinvent without reducing our ability to incentivize. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our C2C but our ability to mesh. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based, vertical, sexy?