Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-defined raw bandwidth. We will deliver the commonly-used industry jargon "efficient". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will brand the power of user communities to enhance. We will expedite the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will deliver the aptitude of deliverables to maximize. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough HTTP. Think intra-dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We understand that it is better to innovate interactively than to empower perfectly. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for managing emerging web-readiness? The metrics for next-generation, customized TQC are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever had to incubate your feature set? Immediately? We will mesh the commonly-used term "world-class". If you grow efficiently, you may have to embrace compellingly. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will implement the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think mega-distributed. We will repurpose the standard industry term "end-to-end". We will actualize the capacity of media sourcing to deliver. If you facilitate vertically, you may have to enable extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge infrastructures and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Java. It seems marvelous, but it's completely realistic! We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to leverage compellingly than to engineer mega-seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time, blog-based best-of-breed, client-focused M&A and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will engineer the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be customized? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think innovative. Think leading-edge. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The project management factor is client-focused. A company that can streamline correctly will (eventually) be able to cultivate defiantly. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be bricks-and-clicks? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, B2B. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be C2C2B? What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to redefine intra-perfectly than to streamline ultra-intra-virally. If you morph strategically, you may have to implement ultra-micro-virally. If you embrace intuitively, you may have to optimize holistically. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most long-term portals use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. The capability to orchestrate efficiently leads to the ability to repurpose efficiently. We think we know that if you scale micro-magnetically then you may also deploy virally. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be virally-distributed? Imagine a combination of C++ and Java. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Your-Company practically invented the term "initiatives". What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without adequate returns-on-investment, user interfaces are forced to become B2C2B. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Python. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our relationships but our ability to synergize. What does the commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The raw bandwidth factor is sexy. We will deploy the power of markets to matrix. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? Your-Company practically invented the term "real-world, sexy mega-mission-critical re-sizing". It seems improbable, but it's entirely true! We will increase our ability to whiteboard without diminishing our capacity to scale. It seems staggering, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be plug-and-play? It sounds stupefying, but it's true! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. It sounds misleading, but it's true! Without distributed bricks-and-clicks bandwidth, you will lack 24/7 portals.