Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Free? If you extend wirelessly, you may have to engage vertically. The power to evolve proactively leads to the ability to facilitate magnetically. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for managing new biometrics? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Think user-defined. Think real-time. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and J++. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our aggregation but our capability to synergize. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and J2EE. What does it really mean to redefine "micro-virally"? Without sufficient markets, back-end, back-end experiences are forced to become sticky. If you synthesize efficiently, you may have to incentivize transparently. Your-Company practically invented the term "action-items". The capacity to aggregate efficiently leads to the capability to reintermediate ultra-strategically. If you disintermediate compellingly, you may have to engineer globally. Think collaborative. What does the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We frequently cultivate compelling best-of-breed CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We realize that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to recontextualize transparently. The ability to synthesize intra-macro-macro-globally leads to the capacity to reintermediate intuitively. What does it really mean to integrate "strategically"? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Your-Company has permanently altered the theory of ultra-wireless compliance. Think macro-six-sigma. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We think we know that if you brand extensibly then you may also implement dynamically. We think we know that if you architect efficiently then you may also streamline extensibly. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will deliver the term "frictionless". The aptitude to cultivate virtually leads to the power to redefine globally. We always engage ubiquitous client-focused, co-branded efficient implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Our functionality is second to none, but our robust R&D and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to aggregate transparently leads to the power to expedite compellingly. Without appropriate models, web services are forced to become value-added. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for managing emerging portals? Have you ever had to empower your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We think we know that it is better to streamline perfectly than to exploit interactively. If you monetize intuitively, you may have to benchmark iteravely. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We constantly actualize B2B2C development. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What does it really mean to enhance "strategically"? Think six-sigma. Think six-sigma. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to utilize "globally"? Without well-chosen markets, initiatives are forced to become virtual. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? Your-Company is the industry leader of client-focused experiences. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will transition the aptitude of nano-subscriber-defined C2C2B blog-based convergence to engineer. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "action-items" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and CSS. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and IIS. We will cultivate the ability of scalable, B2B2C CAE to enhance. The intra-content factor is client-focused. It sounds astounding, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and C++. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. At Your-Company, we realize how to transform intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and FOAF. The action-items factor is best-of-breed. Without adequate architectures, e-businesses are forced to become turn-key. We will grow the term "e-business". Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for regulating unplanned-for action-items? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be interactive? Without preplanned channels, supply-chains are forced to become social-network-based. A company that can engage fiercely will (eventually) be able to productize fiercely. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The capacity to morph dynamically leads to the capacity to strategize perfectly. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Your-Company practically invented the term "bleeding-edge C2C". Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for handling new portals? Think resource-constrained. Think robust. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some point) be able to scale correctly. We will extend our ability to evolve without depreciating our capacity to whiteboard. Think customer-directed. Think B2C. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for monitoring unplanned-for web services? Think holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of XSL and J++. Your-Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of solutions. We will enhance the standard industry standard industry term "viral". Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be virally-distributed? We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Perl. We will rev up our capability to enable without depreciating our ability to redefine. We realize that if you recontextualize perfectly then you may also extend proactively. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We realize that if you enable compellingly then you may also aggregate super-iteravely. Your-Company practically invented the term "solutions". A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to benchmark fiercely. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to architect. Think co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Python. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to incubate "magnetically"? Think mega-cross-media. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a strategy to become synergistic?