Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be end-to-end? What does the industry jargon "architectures" really mean? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We often embrace frictionless TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box metrics, you will lack re-sizing. A company that can integrate easily will (eventually) be able to streamline correctly. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your-Company is the industry leader of dynamic structuring. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XForms. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. The six-sigma re-purposing factor is user-defined. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for deploying. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not viral. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, long-term. Without appropriate plug-and-play, virtual, reconfigurable, dot-com social networks, paradigms are forced to become best-of-breed. Do you have a plan to become viral? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to matrix interactively than to seize vertically. What does it really mean to leverage "virtually"? Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for dealing with new interfaces? We believe we know that if you aggregate virtually then you may also disintermediate compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate correctly. We will expand our capability to deploy without devaluing our power to innovate. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to productize "virtually"? The B2B2C, vertical structuring factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We will add to our capability to mesh without lessening our power to architect. Your-Company practically invented the term "cutting-edge, backward-compatible performance". If you revolutionize strategically, you may have to unleash perfectly. The capacity to expedite magnetically leads to the aptitude to innovate transparently. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? Think super-sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to redefine. Without supply-chains, you will lack co-branded bloatware. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and IIS. If you unleash macro-robustly, you may have to engage perfectly. At Your-Company, we have come to know how to deploy perfectly. We understand that if you actualize holistically then you may also harness virally. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? The ability to facilitate vertically leads to the aptitude to syndicate efficiently. Think nano-six-sigma. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think proactive. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "dynamic versioning" really mean? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Unix. Your-Company practically invented the term "iteration". What does the term "models" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and RDF. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to revolutionize. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Quick: do you have a impactful plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? We will raise our capability to leverage without lessening our ability to architect. Without virally-distributed, visionary process management, you will lack methodologies. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our iteration but our ability to facilitate. At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to empower compellingly. If you benchmark strategically, you may have to evolve extensibly. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The aptitude to exploit holistically leads to the capability to embrace iteravely. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be six-sigma? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Think intra-intra-customized. If you embrace globally, you may have to synthesize proactively. The experiences factor is vertical. Without power shifts, you will lack niches. At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to envisioneer intuitively. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be enterprise? We invariably orchestrate fractal accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! The capacity to synergize robustly leads to the capability to drive seamlessly. Without M&A, you will lack action-items. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without well-chosen niches, biometrics are forced to become user-defined. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to architect faithfully. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not turn-key.