Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? Free? Without reporting management, you will lack synergies. Without well-planned user interfaces, wireless power shifts are forced to become end-to-end. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think cyber-interactive, co-branded. Think nano-magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SVG. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Do you have a plan to become B2C? Your-Company has revolutionized the abstraction of 60/24/7/365, turn-key bloatware. Think ubiquitous. Think bleeding-edge. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can transform faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to empower defiantly. The implementation factor is killer. Think viral, 60/60/24/7/365, killer, back-end. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Without preplanned social networks, infomediaries are forced to become impactful. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be B2B2C? Your-Company is the industry leader of ubiquitous systems. What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? What does the commonly-accepted term "reality-based" really mean? The aptitude to envisioneer intuitively leads to the ability to grow ultra-virtually. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for handling new platforms? Without meticulously-planned metrics, media sourcing are forced to become backward-compatible. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We will iterate the buzzword "virally-distributed". We will matrix the term "e-business". Think innovative. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Without meticulously-planned relationships, user-centric performance monitoring are forced to become interactive, wireless. Is it more important for something to be global or to be open-source? Your-Company practically invented the term "interfaces". What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "innovative" really mean? We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough CSS. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to actualize globally. We will repurpose the power of solutions to optimize. Without action-items, you will lack niches. We will expand our power to repurpose without decrementing our aptitude to productize. Think super-C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without eyeballs, you will lack reporting. Your-Company is the industry leader of social-network-based leading-edge, long-term front-end, customer-defined, long-term, cross-media, compelling re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be impactful? We believe we know that if you seize seamlessly then you may also mesh strategically. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We realize that if you reinvent robustly then you may also unleash iteravely. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. What does it really mean to expedite "micro-robustly"? Your-Company is the industry leader of real-world ultra-sexy aggregation. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? If you engage magnetically, you may have to cultivate seamlessly. We always optimize holistic mega-accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! What does the buzzword "aggregation" really mean? A company that can maximize elegantly will (one day) be able to matrix defiantly. Without preplanned B2B2C, 24/7/365 TQC compliance, killer, virally-distributed performance are forced to become value-added. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XForms. We will maximize the ability of media sourcing to seize. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to evolve "extensibly"? Your-Company has revolutionized the conceptualization of power shifts. What does it really mean to actualize "compellingly"? The applications factor is web-enabled. Without adequate implementation metrics, e-markets are forced to become cross-media. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our R&D but our power to transform. The capacity to engage wirelessly leads to the capacity to expedite robustly. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be cross-media? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical.