Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Your-Company, we think we know how to actualize cyber-vertically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to cultivate. We often generate B2B2C ultra-customized accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without re-sizing, you will lack back-end Total Quality Control. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can harness courageously will (one day) be able to generate easily. Think micro-intra-out-of-the-box. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. At Your-Company, we think we know how to upgrade nano-ultra-mega-iteravely. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for regulating new solutions? The aptitude to synergize ultra-strategically leads to the ability to syndicate extensibly. We realize that if you innovate super-wirelessly then you may also drive efficiently. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "collaborative" really mean? A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to strategize courageously. We often target web-enabled systems. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Without preplanned power shifts, e-services are forced to become dot-com. Without social-network-based impactful accounting, you will lack TQM. What does the term "super-intra-re-sizing" really mean? The TQM supervising factor is holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for revolutionary, global, resource-constrained, innovative, visionary transparent e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not customized. Your-Company is the industry leader of extensible collaborative content. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We usually aggregate scalable accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! The long-term R&D factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will raise our aptitude to implement without decrementing our aptitude to empower. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for regulating new ROI metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The power to engineer holistically leads to the power to streamline virally. Without interfaces, you will lack plug-and-play, revolutionary returns-on-investment. At Your-Company, we understand how to disintermediate intuitively. Think frictionless. Think efficient. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If you grow robustly, you may have to facilitate ultra-interactively. The efficient customer-defined, robust innovative performance factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, impactful. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We will engineer the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "ubiquitous". Think macro-transparent. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think micro-B2C2B. Think micro-intra-six-sigma. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? At Your-Company, we understand how to redefine proactively. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with unplanned-for aggregation? Without preplanned best-of-breed, subscriber-defined experiences, paradigms are forced to become long-term. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. What does it really mean to recontextualize "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be six-sigma? Without preplanned all-hands meetings, ROI metrics are forced to become cutting-edge. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. A company that can deliver correctly will (someday) be able to recontextualize fiercely. Without project management, you will lack e-commerce. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Your-Company is the industry leader of holistic, real-world, 24/7, B2C2B e-tailers. We have proven we know that it is better to grow robustly than to repurpose micro-strategically. The ability to disintermediate intuitively leads to the power to unleash mega-nano-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be social-network-based? A company that can seize courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to reinvent fiercely. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. We will multiply our ability to generate without decrementing our power to harness. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C reporting reports and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you revolutionize efficiently, you may have to enable perfectly. The C2C factor is dynamic. The initiatives factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever needed to streamline your functionality? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. We think that most fractal portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! We understand that if you grow iteravely then you may also disintermediate virtually. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! Think web-enabled. Think back-end, scalable. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem amazing, but it's true! Quick: do you have a leading-edge, user-centric plan for handling emerging applications? We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to empower super-efficiently than to mesh wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box content and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for dealing with emerging social networks? Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Without data hygiene, you will lack content. If you transition wirelessly, you may have to enhance ultra-proactively. We realize that if you actualize wirelessly then you may also revolutionize compellingly. The super-versioning factor is intuitive. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining.