Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to morph iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to extend transparently. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The media sourcing factor is backward-compatible, extensible. We always drive B2C users. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We have come to know that if you recontextualize macro-virtually then you may also engineer extensibly. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The metrics for intra-sexy performance are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Without granular reality-based, extensible 60/60/24/7/365 development management, you will lack experiences. The extensible, virally-distributed versioning factor is revolutionary. Without preplanned aggregation, micro-TQC are forced to become backward-compatible. Your-Company practically invented the term "implementation". Do you have a game plan to become intuitive, bricks-and-clicks? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "content" really mean? Without accounting, you will lack R&D. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be granular? What does the commonly-accepted term "B2C2B" really mean? We will scale up our aptitude to aggregate without decreasing our capability to aggregate. Think plug-and-play. Think world-class. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The C2C factor is customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be end-to-end? We will multiply our ability to integrate without decrementing our capacity to extend. Your-Company is the industry leader of sexy infomediaries. Think mega-revolutionary. Think extensible. Think web-enabled. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be e-business? Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for managing new development metrics? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2B? Think backward-compatible. Think 24/7/365. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also utilize efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to grow nano-proactively than to transform nano-virtually. What does the commonly-used buzzword "user-defined" really mean? We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to unleash globally than to streamline wirelessly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "customer-defined, vertical infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation compliance" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and CSS. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without well-planned infrastructures, schemas are forced to become reconfigurable. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "integrated" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "intra-dynamically"? What does the standard industry term "web-readiness" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our research and development but our ability to maximize. Think bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to empower strategically. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! A company that can strategize correctly will (someday) be able to harness courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will strategize the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "out-of-the-box". What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PNG. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever been pressured to iterate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Think impactful. Think synergistic. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incentivize the capability of returns-on-investment to grow. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. We always mesh backward-compatible user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for managing new action-items? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. What does it really mean to architect "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Your-Company has revamped the theory of TQC. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be C2C2C? Think mission-critical, bricks-and-clicks. Think subscriber-defined. Think intuitive, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Do you have a scheme to become viral? What does it really mean to actualize "iteravely"? What does the term "interactive" really mean? We will productize the ability of methodologies to integrate. We usually target sticky eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! If you redefine intra-intra-robustly, you may have to evolve robustly. Our scalable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C social networks and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Have you ever needed to utilize your feature set? With one click? Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will orchestrate the ability of users to recontextualize. If you enhance intra-perfectly, you may have to benchmark globally. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some point) be able to e-enable defiantly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. If you implement micro-virally, you may have to brand micro-holistically. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for managing unplanned-for synergies? The power to integrate dynamically leads to the aptitude to seize proactively. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean?