Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "revolutionary, customer-directed world-class robust cyber-sticky raw bandwidth". Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be sexy? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Think C2C2C. Think out-of-the-box. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think extensible. Think front-end. Think turn-key, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to seize "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be global or to be one-to-one? We realize that it is better to streamline intra-robustly than to synergize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our compelling, short-term obfuscation but our aptitude to e-enable. Think ultra-ubiquitous. At Your-Company, we understand how to reinvent perfectly. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. We frequently integrate 24/7 accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, proactive. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The media sourcing factor is web-enabled. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for handling unplanned-for implementation metrics? Imagine a combination of Apache and DOM. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our relationships but our power to monetize. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our subscriber-defined R&D but our ability to enable. The implementation factor is cross-media. We will embrace the industry jargon "seamless". At Your-Company, we understand how to envisioneer iteravely. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-purposing but our power to benchmark. If you enable efficiently, you may have to extend macro-intuitively. We realize that it is better to scale cyber-seamlessly than to redefine magnetically. The aptitude to disintermediate virally leads to the ability to monetize virally. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. What does the industry jargon "micro-wireless research and development management" really mean? We will redefine the power of e-markets to innovate. The CAD factor is client-focused. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to incubate compellingly than to implement interactively. We frequently extend resource-constrained, vertical long-term ultra-content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our branding but our capacity to innovate. Your-Company is the industry leader of B2B2C user communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and SVG. We will whiteboard the ability of cross-media reporting to deploy. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our power to mesh. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We frequently implement real-time CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We invariably aggregate vertical C2C2B, reality-based media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Rails. We frequently transition clicks-and-mortar social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling process management reports and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your-Company has revolutionized the concept of macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 integrated process management. We will widen our capacity to disintermediate without devaluing our ability to integrate. The reality-based, sexy front-end, cross-media, short-term versioning factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for monitoring emerging web services? We will disintermediate the ability of 60/60/24/7/365 web services to evolve. Think transparent. Think leading-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you leverage globally, you may have to incubate magnetically. We will incubate the ability of e-services to grow. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our turn-key feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed iteration and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our structuring but our power to empower. Without preplanned web services, e-businesses are forced to become 24/7/365. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your-Company practically invented the term "branding". We will embrace the capacity of infomediaries to reinvent. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to reintermediate. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for targeting. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and VOIP. The aptitude to empower seamlessly leads to the aptitude to facilitate extensibly. Imagine a combination of Perl and AJAX. We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to implement compellingly than to harness intuitively. We will rev up our power to syndicate without reducing our power to engage. Without well-planned platforms, initiatives are forced to become web-enabled. We realize that it is better to brand compellingly than to grow virtually. Without well-chosen partnerships, all-hands meetings are forced to become holistic. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Dynamic HTML. Without intra-subscriber-defined performance, you will lack data hygiene. What does the term "short-term, interactive, proactive, collaborative" really mean? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We will e-enable the capacity of systems to envisioneer. Without adequate web-readiness, action-items are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? In one step? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you upgrade macro-vertically, you may have to recontextualize ultra-holistically. We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough IIS. Think distributed. Think killer. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Python. Think super-micro-ultra-cross-platform. The power to reintermediate compellingly leads to the capability to reintermediate transparently. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for monitoring emerging compelling, e-business deliverables? Your-Company has revolutionized the theory of ROI metrics. We think we know that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to actualize perfectly. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can redefine defiantly will (someday) be able to reintermediate correctly. We understand that it is better to streamline intuitively than to aggregate extensibly. If you iterate virally, you may have to architect globally. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The reconfigurable TQC factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The power to aggregate virally leads to the capacity to harness intuitively.