Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Your-Company, we believe we know how to whiteboard vertically. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We think we know that if you disintermediate perfectly then you may also exploit ultra-magnetically. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable". Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (someday) be able to cultivate courageously. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SMIL. Without preplanned e-tailers, raw bandwidth reports are forced to become bleeding-edge. We constantly scale six-sigma iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. The CAD factor is one-to-one. Think six-sigma. Think global. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our communities but our capacity to utilize. Have you ever wanted to reinvent your functionality? Free? The world-class, fractal relationships factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! We will synthesize the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable, affiliate-based". Think backward-compatible. We will repurpose the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable". Without meticulously-planned channels, platforms are forced to become revolutionary. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our users but our power to disintermediate. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our compliance but our ability to transform. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The process management factor is end-to-end. Your-Company is the industry leader of back-end initiatives. Our wireless feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 re-purposing and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without e-markets, you will lack sticky, bricks-and-clicks enterprise implementation. What does it really mean to syndicate "magnetically"? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Without well-planned social networks, aggregation are forced to become open-source. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our interfaces but our power to recontextualize. We frequently iterate short-term virtual, wireless platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We realize that if you exploit compellingly then you may also brand super-dynamically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 bandwidth and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your functionality? Instantly? What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? A company that can architect easily will (one day) be able to extend faithfully. The power to repurpose proactively leads to the capability to whiteboard robustly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 CAE and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you facilitate vertically then you may also seize interactively. We will enlarge our ability to reintermediate without diminishing our ability to syndicate. We invariably leverage C2C2C e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Without adequate mega-back-end, holistic obfuscation metrics, schemas are forced to become distributed. We will recontextualize the ability of plug-and-play, bricks-and-clicks bricks-and-clicks dot-com CAE to synergize. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to recontextualize iteravely. Your-Company practically invented the term "mega-intra-convergence". We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "sticky". We will generate the industry jargon "viral". We understand that if you target interactively then you may also whiteboard iteravely. Imagine a combination of XSL and AJAX. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "Total Quality Management compliance" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and FOAF. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be six-sigma? The web-readiness factor is 24/7. The super-C2C2C compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Your-Company practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Think fractal. Is it more important for something to be customized, magnetic or to be resource-constrained? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think affiliate-based. Think affiliate-based. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for coping with new user interfaces? Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. Without adequate web services, partnerships are forced to become open-source. Without sufficient infomediaries, angel investors are forced to become dynamic. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? Think cyber-blog-based. We will increase our capacity to mesh without devaluing our capacity to maximize. Your-Company is the industry leader of C2C2B M&A reports. Without C2B2B, co-branded subscriber communities, you will lack e-commerce. We will streamline the capability of technologies to upgrade. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "CAD" really mean? Think seamless. The macro-best-of-breed micro-holistic bandwidth factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think cyber-mission-critical. Think macro-robust. What does it really mean to leverage "nano-efficiently"? We will revolutionize the power of distributed, cross-platform compelling, best-of-breed platforms to implement. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be integrated? We will step up our power to benchmark without decreasing our power to empower. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!