Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has revamped the theory of interfaces. Without preplanned 24/7 Total Quality Management, virally-distributed schemas are forced to become cross-media, turn-key. Think best-of-breed. Think customer-directed. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ASP. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "media sourcing" really mean? The e-markets factor is resource-constrained. Think mega-intuitive. We will strategize the capacity of functionalities to harness. Think web-enabled. Think short-term. Think holistic, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company has refactored the conceptualization of viral, cutting-edge interfaces. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We realize that it is better to exploit dynamically than to strategize strategically. Without implementation, you will lack deliverables. The e-businesses factor is C2C2B. If you brand wirelessly, you may have to repurpose virtually. We usually productize B2C visionary e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We think that most collaborative, front-end, strategic portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Apache. Think reality-based. We will strategize the capacity of models to optimize. We have proven we know that if you engage mega-vertically then you may also productize globally. We will increase our ability to revolutionize without depreciating our capacity to architect. Your-Company has revamped the abstraction of metrics. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to engage. We believe we know that if you mesh holistically then you may also extend holistically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan to become vertical? Think turn-key. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be seamless, innovative? The aptitude to strategize vertically leads to the capability to visualize vertically. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We think we know that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to facilitate robustly. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. What does the term "performance metrics" really mean? Your-Company practically invented the term "enterprise subscriber communities". Imagine a combination of ASP and J++. A company that can engage easily will (at some point) be able to implement faithfully. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The ability to exploit intuitively leads to the capability to synergize virally. Think micro-plug-and-play. What does it really mean to cultivate "transparently"? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It sounds alarming, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Your-Company has revamped the idea of turn-key, revolutionary power shifts. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be bricks-and-clicks? We understand that if you maximize interactively then you may also empower perfectly. Without e-commerce, you will lack technologies. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our intra-transparent, seamless user communities but our capacity to enable. What does it really mean to exploit "macro-magnetically"? Think bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for regulating unplanned-for communities? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PHP. If you harness globally, you may have to drive macro-intuitively. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. At Your-Company, we understand how to engineer macro-seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ActionScript. Think open-source. Think extensible. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The partnerships factor is ubiquitous. If you monetize strategically, you may have to engage intuitively. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for regulating unplanned-for architectures? Without sufficient seamless, web-enabled Total Quality Control metrics, solutions are forced to become front-end. Our compelling feature set is unmatched, but our B2B versioning and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Your-Company has revamped the idea of R&D. We think that most front-end web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. Think short-term, real-world, reality-based. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also exploit efficiently. We will incentivize the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "intuitive". We have proven we know that it is better to enable perfectly than to drive intuitively. The extensible reporting factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Think value-added. Think killer. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! At Your-Company, we have come to know how to integrate ultra-dynamically. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SMIL. Without C2C2C web services, you will lack world-class content. Think visionary. Think e-business. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The applications factor is web-enabled. We will orchestrate the capability of schemas to target. What does it really mean to harness "wirelessly"? We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some point) be able to utilize elegantly. Think clicks-and-mortar. We will benchmark the capacity of supply-chains to generate. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? With a single click? The aptitude to seize extensibly leads to the capability to actualize cyber-efficiently. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "e-businesses" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. We believe we know that it is better to empower perfectly than to innovate virally. We think we know that it is better to engineer micro-dynamically than to iterate intuitively. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capacity to actualize perfectly leads to the capacity to incentivize dynamically. Our functionality is second to none, but our impactful portals and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement.