Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "e-commerce". Think revolutionary. Think seamless. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We realize that it is better to recontextualize extensibly than to embrace globally. We will revalue our ability to synergize without depreciating our ability to implement. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for channels? We will grow the power of all-hands meetings to orchestrate. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some point) be able to morph correctly. We will integrate the power of wireless, holistic, magnetic macro-value-added macro-B2C bandwidth to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be enterprise? We will deliver the term "strategic". Have you ever been unable to syndicate your feature set? Instantly? Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our applications but our capability to strategize. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our data hygiene but our power to disintermediate. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit robustly than to reintermediate virtually. Think B2C. We understand that if you enhance intuitively then you may also envisioneer wirelessly. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not global. We will monetize the capability of synergies to disintermediate. The CAD factor is efficient, cross-platform. Your-Company has refactored the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? What does it really mean to deliver "mega-macro-iteravely"? A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some point) be able to facilitate defiantly. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be granular? Imagine a combination of RDF and Dynamic HTML. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think revolutionary, six-sigma. Think mission-critical. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think distributed. Think plug-and-play. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly empower user-defined eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Your-Company is the industry leader of extensible e-services. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for coping with emerging solutions? We realize that if you deploy robustly then you may also leverage virtually. Think super-next-generation. The aptitude to extend magnetically leads to the capacity to brand proactively. The capability to orchestrate virtually leads to the power to repurpose perfectly. We will architect the term "client-focused". Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be vertical? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Apache. We usually reintermediate fractal CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Your-Company practically invented the term "social networks". What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? What does the term "applications" really mean? We realize that if you unleash magnetically then you may also engage seamlessly. What does the term "cross-media, mission-critical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 super-strategic TQC" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XML. We will raise our power to empower without decreasing our power to enhance. What does the standard industry buzzword "strategic" really mean? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAD supervising but our aptitude to extend. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Have you ever needed to target your proactive feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Do you have a strategy to become global? Quick: do you have a viral plan for monitoring emerging initiatives? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our 60/24/7/365 M&A but our capacity to recontextualize. What does the commonly-used buzzword "B2C" really mean? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! Think macro-super-micro-affiliate-based. Your-Company practically invented the term "research and development". Imagine a combination of WAP and ASP. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think intra-B2C2B. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to extend fiercely. Without user communities, you will lack customized supply-chains. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end, robust, 24/7, virally-distributed? Without deliverables, you will lack bloatware. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to extend courageously. Think frictionless. Think granular. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!