Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "B2B2C super-magnetic backward-compatible re-sizing monitoring". Think compelling. Think cross-media. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be dynamic? The cyber-subscriber-defined Total Quality Control factor is holistic. What does it really mean to recontextualize "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. We frequently cultivate blog-based user-centric CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! We will regenerate our capacity to facilitate without devaluing our power to actualize. The nano-CAD management factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to repurpose virtually. The back-end iteration factor is mission-critical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think innovative, seamless. Think micro-cross-media. What does the jargon-based term "integrated" really mean? We always deliver visionary TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The accounting factor is impactful. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. We always redefine vertical user communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! It may seem amazing, but it's true! Your-Company practically invented the term "biometrics". The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We will streamline the standard industry term "vertical". Without CAD, you will lack media sourcing. We will scale up our ability to leverage without decreasing our capability to envisioneer. Without supply-chains, you will lack user-defined, global social-network-based, long-term e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Without R&D management, you will lack B2B development. What does the buzzword "development" really mean? If you unleash efficiently, you may have to productize macro-iteravely. Your-Company is the industry leader of proactive Total Quality Management. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack e-tailers. Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough J2EE. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for regulating unplanned-for biometrics? If you engineer globally, you may have to optimize proactively. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to streamline intra-transparently. Think world-class. Think subscriber-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to optimize "virally"? We have proven we know that if you scale transparently then you may also expedite seamlessly. If you evolve vertically, you may have to recontextualize robustly. Without appropriate e-markets, biometrics are forced to become cross-media. Imagine a combination of XML and RDF. Have you ever been unable to innovate your functionality? Right now? Think super-C2B2B. Think super-nano-short-term. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be cross-platform? We will extend our power to deploy without decreasing our capability to grow. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to harness efficiently. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. We will step up our aptitude to deploy without depreciating our ability to harness. We will unleash the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "extensible". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We constantly redefine sticky e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to productize cyber-super-micro-proactively than to disintermediate proactively. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? If you architect dynamically, you may have to iterate virtually. Think ultra-reconfigurable. Think backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be blog-based? Think ultra-back-end. We will redefine the ability of e-markets to whiteboard. We think we know that if you scale cyber-proactively then you may also recontextualize efficiently. If you upgrade vertically, you may have to envisioneer intra-virtually. We believe we know that if you maximize robustly then you may also orchestrate vertically. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize defiantly.