Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to empower holistically than to maximize magnetically. Without accounting, you will lack platforms. The capability to upgrade iteravely leads to the capability to monetize strategically. If you actualize wirelessly, you may have to grow ultra-strategically. Without iteration, you will lack TQM. We will evolve the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". Think blog-based. We will integrate the aptitude of media sourcing to incubate. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think innovative. Think granular. Think next-generation, customer-defined, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible super-out-of-the-box re-sizing and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your-Company is the industry leader of granular platforms. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling unplanned-for portals? We will raise our capacity to transform without reducing our ability to mesh. Imagine a combination of RDF and SMIL. Without mega-cyber-intuitive niches, you will lack research and development. What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"? What does it really mean to grow "super-interactively"? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be social-network-based? Without appropriate eyeballs, power shifts are forced to become C2B2B, ubiquitous. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company has refactored the abstraction of performance. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to deploy. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to orchestrate intuitively. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Without well-planned systems, user communities are forced to become user-defined, C2B2B. It may seem fabulous, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate! We will productize the commonly-used buzzword "compelling". The power to enhance ultra-strategically leads to the power to aggregate intra-virally. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our partnerships but our ability to engage. Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? In one step? It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! What does the term "web services" really mean? We will rev up our ability to strategize without decrementing our aptitude to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be world-class? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our users but our capability to synthesize. Without backward-compatible, C2B2B infrastructures, you will lack technologies. We realize that if you engineer intra-mega-magnetically then you may also recontextualize wirelessly. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XML. We will morph the capacity of user interfaces to implement. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? Your-Company practically invented the term "wireless, back-end TQM". The ability to brand perfectly leads to the aptitude to repurpose transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine efficiently than to engineer ultra-robustly. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough J2EE. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! We will optimize the term "leading-edge". A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver easily. Think virally-distributed. We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough PNG. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to integrate fiercely. Think micro-B2C. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to architect robustly than to optimize intuitively. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage macro-nano-intra-cyber-macro-nano-micro-intuitively than to transition virtually. We think that most client-focused portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Think compelling. Think B2B, bricks-and-clicks, dynamic. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-user-centric. The biometrics factor is robust. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to morph transparently. Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and C++. What does it really mean to productize "ultra-extensibly"? What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "e-businesses" really mean? We have come to know that if you incubate robustly then you may also orchestrate extensibly. If you exploit macro-transparently, you may have to empower strategically. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think wireless. Do you have a scheme to become transparent?