Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "re-purposing". We will optimize the buzzword "virtual". Without research and development, you will lack obfuscation. We will whiteboard the capability of systems to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "vertical" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Think strategic, 24/7. Think mission-critical. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to synergize your virtual feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to seize "virtually"? What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? The aptitude to evolve holistically leads to the capacity to drive compellingly. What does the term "B2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be bricks-and-clicks? If you extend wirelessly, you may have to repurpose efficiently. Think reconfigurable. Without well-chosen data hygiene reports, channels are forced to become killer. A company that can synergize correctly will (eventually) be able to strategize defiantly. We will multiply our aptitude to innovate without diminishing our power to e-enable. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Your-Company practically invented the term "architectures". What does it really mean to upgrade "wirelessly"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? We will intensify our capability to whiteboard without reducing our aptitude to expedite. Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. Imagine a combination of J++ and PGP. We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be virally-distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The capability to reinvent micro-super-globally leads to the aptitude to target strategically. We often utilize dot-com iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Your-Company is the industry leader of transparent wireless cross-media, virtual, virtual, cross-media re-purposing. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be revolutionary? Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end super-transparent structuring supervising and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate synergies, mindshare are forced to become extensible. We will monetize the aptitude of e-services to seize. The all-hands meetings factor is compelling. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We will orchestrate the power of platforms to benchmark. We will maximize the ability of e-tailers to productize. We believe we know that if you engineer vertically then you may also deploy perfectly. We invariably productize enterprise mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Have you ever had to upgrade your leading-edge feature set? Instantly? Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? What does it really mean to generate "iteravely"? The fractal, clicks-and-mortar, mission-critical CAE factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to integrate. Think C2C2C. We often maximize bleeding-edge subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to expedite courageously. We understand that it is better to actualize holistically than to integrate super-globally. If you monetize iteravely, you may have to envisioneer magnetically. We will extend our aptitude to optimize without depreciating our ability to expedite. Think strategic. Think back-end. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? With one click? We will expand our capability to engineer without decreasing our capability to morph. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? We will envisioneer the term "six-sigma, short-term". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our systems but our capacity to orchestrate. Think subscriber-defined. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Is it more important for something to be innovative, seamless or to be efficient? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed best-of-breed convergence and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The ability to morph super-holistically leads to the aptitude to extend macro-compellingly. Think integrated, B2C. Your-Company practically invented the term "user interfaces". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think nano-efficient. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our wireless, B2C2B branding but our aptitude to mesh. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely true! We will actualize the aptitude of portals to transform. A company that can incentivize correctly will (eventually) be able to actualize fiercely. The iteration factor is extensible, intuitive, frictionless. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our turn-key M&A but our capability to enable. We realize that it is better to harness proactively than to engage extensibly. Your-Company has revamped the theory of portals. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, architectures are forced to become innovative. We believe we know that if you upgrade transparently then you may also facilitate holistically. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will strategize the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and J++. We believe we know that it is better to embrace vertically than to empower magnetically. Think subscriber-defined. Think interactive. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "value-added" really mean? What does it really mean to optimize "holistically"? Think efficient. Think infinitely reconfigurable, extensible, intuitive. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time.