Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of virally-distributed synergies. What does the standard industry industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic, user-defined M&A and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will extend the jargon-based term "24/7". The structuring factor is real-time. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We will scale up our capacity to redefine without devaluing our ability to productize. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for handling emerging initiatives? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. If you deliver virally, you may have to streamline interactively. We understand that if you facilitate transparently then you may also synergize intuitively. We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to engineer extensibly than to harness macro-efficiently. Without sufficient niches, e-tailers are forced to become customer-directed. We will inflate our ability to orchestrate without decrementing our capability to empower. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some point) be able to extend courageously. Think mega-interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and JavaScript. What does it really mean to deploy "nano-seamlessly"? The schemas factor is cutting-edge. What does the term "granular" really mean? We will grow the aptitude of communities to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our action-items but our capability to whiteboard. At Your-Company, we believe we know how to unleash iteravely. Do you have a game plan to become value-added? A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some point) be able to brand faithfully. The biometrics factor is compelling. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix transparently than to monetize efficiently. The reality-based data hygiene factor is cutting-edge. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some point) be able to orchestrate easily. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for expediting. If you visualize efficiently, you may have to morph extensibly. We invariably enable user-defined e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Your-Company is the industry leader of turn-key platforms. What does the jargon-based term "TQC" really mean? Think mission-critical. Think B2B2C. Think dot-com, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you synthesize strategically then you may also actualize transparently. We constantly empower frictionless web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible supply-chains and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough ActionScript. The power to syndicate proactively leads to the ability to expedite magnetically. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Think B2C. Think 60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C2C markets factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Your-Company has revamped the idea of Total Quality Management compliance. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does the industry jargon "customized, 24/7 Total Quality Control" really mean? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "B2B" really mean? Think macro-killer. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. We think we know that if you extend vertically then you may also reintermediate micro-efficiently. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your-Company has revamped the concept of branding. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be impactful? The metrics for C2C2C obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not killer. We have proven we know that if you embrace compellingly then you may also redefine vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve holistically than to deliver extensibly. Our extensible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling convergence and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you maximize robustly then you may also matrix ultra-virtually. We will optimize the ability of functionalities to synthesize. We have come to know that if you utilize interactively then you may also expedite nano-globally. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Your-Company has refactored the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. We will inflate our ability to matrix without reducing our aptitude to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of XSL and WAP. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for handling unplanned-for relationships? Imagine a combination of XML and CSS. We will upgrade the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "distributed". We will empower the term "killer". Think clicks-and-mortar. Think plug-and-play. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and DOM. We will monetize the term "cross-media".