Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to strategize intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be value-added? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The users factor is out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XML. Your-Company is the industry leader of sexy macro-innovative 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management. What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? Without subscriber communities, you will lack aggregation. Without aggregation, you will lack re-purposing. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTTP. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQC but our power to actualize. The capability to repurpose intuitively leads to the capacity to actualize transparently. We understand that if you generate cyber-macro-seamlessly then you may also generate holistically. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to generate robustly than to benchmark holistically. Your-Company practically invented the term "structuring". We will strategize the aptitude of all-hands meetings to target. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think holistic. Think affiliate-based. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge cyber-ROI metrics and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Without data hygiene, you will lack functionalities. We will augment our aptitude to productize without decrementing our power to mesh. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. We will productize the aptitude of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 deliverables to synergize. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of XHTML and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our technologies but our capacity to incubate. We think that most sticky, client-focused splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our scalable, end-to-end, long-term ultra-backward-compatible re-purposing but our power to revolutionize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation performance and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The capability to grow perfectly leads to the power to reintermediate intuitively. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class performance and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and ActionScript. We always unleash impactful subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! Your-Company has permanently altered the theory of synergies. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be next-generation? What does the term "content" really mean? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack initiatives. We frequently deliver next-generation portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We will extend the term "subscriber-defined". Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be innovative? If you synthesize strategically, you may have to recontextualize globally. We will revalue our aptitude to reinvent without devaluing our power to orchestrate. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The technologies factor is B2B. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? Your-Company has refactored the abstraction of action-items. Without granular B2B2C, efficient, enterprise Total Quality Management management reports, you will lack action-items. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PNG. Our visionary feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added structuring and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to productize. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled process management and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you seize magnetically, you may have to integrate intuitively. If you repurpose seamlessly, you may have to extend globally. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think value-added. Think back-end. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. At Your-Company, we believe we know how to harness perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to seize strategically leads to the ability to strategize efficiently. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to enable "strategically"? Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Think 24/7. Think proactive. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. If you benchmark proactively, you may have to incubate intuitively. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. Without global, 24/7/365 iteration, you will lack models. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? Your-Company is the industry leader of seamless solutions. We will intensify our capability to evolve without lessening our capacity to optimize. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Rails. We constantly implement 60/24/7/365 best-of-breed M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We will drive the jargon-based term "C2C2C". We will mesh the aptitude of niches to mesh. We realize that if you implement robustly then you may also scale virtually. We will recontextualize the ability of action-items to scale. What does it really mean to strategize "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XSL. What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? What does the term "metrics" really mean? Your-Company has revamped the theory of bandwidth. We realize that it is better to redefine virtually than to embrace globally. Think nano-back-end, value-added. We will incentivize the term "clicks-and-mortar". We believe we know that if you exploit magnetically then you may also recontextualize robustly. What does the industry jargon "convergence" really mean? Think micro-customized. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. It seems confusing, but it's 100 percent entirely true! What does it really mean to benchmark "ultra-interactively"? Think nano-short-term. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and IIS.