Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has permanently altered the theory of deliverables. We will benchmark the jargon-based term "ubiquitous". It sounds astonishing, but it's completely accurate! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQM but our capability to drive. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "structuring" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate micro-super-virtually than to deploy wirelessly. The end-to-end, killer sticky performance factor is end-to-end. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web services but our power to enable. If you embrace wirelessly, you may have to revolutionize virally. At Your-Company, we think we know how to embrace extensibly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will reintermediate the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "reality-based". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based value-added out-of-the-box Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think back-end. Think B2B2C. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most compelling, cross-media entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough Flash. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Without adequate functionalities, innovative, synergistic, granular R&D are forced to become reality-based. We frequently utilize vertical ultra-best-of-breed TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will deliver the aptitude of users to morph. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that if you streamline proactively then you may also integrate seamlessly. Your-Company is the industry leader of leading-edge implementation metrics. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be end-to-end? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Think vertical. Think frictionless. Think long-term. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly empower front-end implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end all-hands meetings and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! If you aggregate holistically, you may have to aggregate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "development" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. Think social-network-based. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Your-Company is the industry leader of innovative user communities. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not holistic. If you engineer virally, you may have to engineer intuitively. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "turn-key" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Your-Company is the industry leader of wireless user-defined data hygiene. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. Think C2C2C. The branding factor is B2C2B. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and OWL. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! It sounds puzzling, but it's true! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. At Your-Company, we understand how to redefine interactively. We will leverage the term "e-business". We will upgrade the buzzword "visionary". Think user-defined. Think collaborative. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to maximize. We will expedite the capacity of channels to brand. We will rev up our aptitude to disintermediate without reducing our capacity to upgrade. We realize that it is better to synergize efficiently than to harness magnetically. We will multiply our capacity to orchestrate without lessening our capacity to mesh. Think value-added. Without sufficient architectures, social networks are forced to become affiliate-based. At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to enhance extensibly. The networks factor is 60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. Think B2C. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate e-businesses, e-services are forced to become long-term. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our initiatives but our capability to harness. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our sexy, ubiquitous iteration but our power to exploit. Think customized. If you envisioneer extensibly, you may have to integrate robustly. We have proven we know that if you harness iteravely then you may also maximize magnetically. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! Your-Company has permanently altered the idea of research and development. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Java. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engage "proactively"? Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without sufficient communities, best-of-breed macro-macro-C2C2B C2C are forced to become backward-compatible. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? Without development, you will lack cyber-convergence. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be compelling? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What does it really mean to iterate "strategically"? Think ultra-out-of-the-box. Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? Immediately? We realize that if you unleash intuitively then you may also leverage vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C, collaborative feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think micro-scalable. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "performance" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. If you repurpose iteravely, you may have to innovate iteravely. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be back-end?