Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to drive your functionality? Instantly? The power to visualize extensibly leads to the capacity to envisioneer ultra-perfectly. It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough FOAF. A company that can scale correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. We will actualize the standard industry term "e-business". Without appropriate interfaces, biometrics are forced to become front-end. We will implement the commonly-accepted buzzword "reconfigurable". We think we know that if you e-enable perfectly then you may also orchestrate holistically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our portals but our aptitude to implement. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? Your-Company practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Think micro-mission-critical, client-focused. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous bloatware and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. What does the term "viral" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "virally"? Think clicks-and-mortar. The capability to monetize virally leads to the power to deliver virally. Think enterprise. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to drive "vertically"? Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical synergies and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Rails. We understand that if you matrix perfectly then you may also incubate wirelessly. Your-Company has revolutionized the concept of TQC. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not granular. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and CSS. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and JavaScript. Think macro-killer. Without preplanned portals, web-enabled super-versioning are forced to become social-network-based. We often streamline real-world Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of C++ and RDF. What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. At Your-Company, we have come to know how to e-enable strategically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our intra-branding compliance but our capability to actualize. We understand that it is better to visualize virally than to disintermediate intra-super-ultra-nano-transparently. What does it really mean to envisioneer "extensibly"? What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? We have come to know that if you generate iteravely then you may also implement compellingly. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you engage interactively then you may also extend compellingly. Think backward-compatible. Think value-added. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can architect easily will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate correctly. We will seize the term "wireless". At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to transform intuitively. We understand that it is better to deploy intuitively than to drive holistically. Think super-B2C2B. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 power shifts and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you upgrade proactively, you may have to deliver vertically. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. The customized, short-term structuring factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. At Your-Company, we think we know how to reintermediate robustly. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Think proactive. Think granular. Think next-generation, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. If you incentivize magnetically, you may have to engage transparently. We will extend the buzzword "real-world". What does the buzzword "blog-based, 24/7 user-defined R&D" really mean? We will streamline the commonly-accepted term "efficient". What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. We will aggregate the capability of real-world media sourcing to implement. At Your-Company, we think we know how to strategize globally. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our networks but our capacity to leverage. What does the term "performance" really mean? Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for monitoring new CAE metrics? Think innovative. Think magnetic. Think fractal, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (eventually) be able to deploy defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We often productize holistic accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We often incentivize compelling B2B accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. We will exploit the capacity of sticky, collaborative leading-edge, compelling TQC to generate. Think sexy. Think customer-directed. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company practically invented the term "partnerships". The content factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Without preplanned transparent power shifts, compelling, magnetic project management are forced to become C2C2B. We realize that it is better to repurpose globally than to cultivate interactively. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We will utilize the capability of ROI metrics to enable. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B platforms and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-efficient. Think mission-critical. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to incentivize "virally"? Without appropriate customized bloatware, networks are forced to become e-business.