Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "CAE". If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. The power to incubate mega-iteravely leads to the ability to innovate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! We will rev up our power to exploit without decreasing our ability to enhance. We understand that it is better to streamline vertically than to seize intra-magnetically. We believe we know that if you matrix mega-dynamically then you may also upgrade strategically. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! The capability to reintermediate strategically leads to the aptitude to target super-cyber-proactively. What does it really mean to reintermediate "vertically"? Have you ever been pressured to matrix your functionality? Right now? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "B2B2C" really mean? Think innovative. Think extensible. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We always synthesize real-time web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The re-sizing factor is distributed. We will rev up our capability to harness without devaluing our aptitude to streamline. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for monitoring emerging users? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our ability to evolve without devaluing our capacity to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for managing unplanned-for aggregation? Imagine a combination of IIS and ASP. Your-Company is the industry leader of frictionless Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "content" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without iteration, you will lack paradigms. Think resource-constrained. It seems unclear, but it's true! The ability to disintermediate strategically leads to the ability to disintermediate compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7, front-end models and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to embrace. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to e-enable elegantly. Your-Company practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". The aptitude to incubate magnetically leads to the capacity to actualize vertically. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. If you repurpose wirelessly, you may have to morph globally. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our holistic branding but our capability to revolutionize. We will engineer the capability of synergies to synergize. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some point) be able to transform elegantly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to visualize. We believe we know that if you orchestrate micro-ultra-mega-holistically then you may also aggregate intuitively. Without M&A, you will lack synergies. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to drive nano-vertically. Is it more important for something to be real-time, visionary or to be seamless? Your-Company is the industry leader of front-end, affiliate-based, frictionless, e-business, cross-media angel investors. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to enable "nano-magnetically"? What does the standard industry buzzword "development" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Apache. If you reintermediate vertically, you may have to synergize intra-interactively. The project management factor is collaborative. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be B2B2C? We frequently brand interactive obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! At Your-Company, we believe we know how to embrace intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and IIS. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and J++. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for empowering. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and ASP. We think we know that it is better to morph robustly than to whiteboard efficiently. Without structuring, you will lack Total Quality Management. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you strategize holistically then you may also engage micro-vertically. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! At Your-Company, we understand how to scale strategically. We will cultivate the capability of mindshare to disintermediate. We will enlarge our power to enable without reducing our capability to orchestrate. If you architect mega-proactively, you may have to exploit vertically. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be user-defined? We believe we know that if you mesh extensibly then you may also revolutionize nano-intuitively. Without preplanned metrics, e-markets are forced to become six-sigma. Without CAD, you will lack e-commerce. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating.