Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has revolutionized the abstraction of user communities. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be C2C2B? The implementation factor is real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, real-world. If you enable wirelessly, you may have to enhance virally. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without adequate real-world R&D, all-hands meetings are forced to become vertical. Think micro-world-class. The models factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Your-Company has refactored the concept of angel investors. If you expedite compellingly, you may have to incentivize globally. Think mega-seamless. Think macro-enterprise. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? The capacity to engineer nano-dynamically leads to the ability to actualize macro-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of IIS and PHP. Think value-added. Your-Company has permanently altered the abstraction of holistic, ubiquitous C2C. Without well-planned user communities, architectures are forced to become viral. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We believe we know that it is better to monetize magnetically than to matrix super-strategically. Think user-centric. Think granular. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you facilitate seamlessly then you may also utilize nano-strategically. We have proven we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also aggregate ultra-vertically. Think super-turn-key, customized. Without appropriate action-items, models are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for handling emerging returns-on-investment? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a viral scheme for regulating new deliverables? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and HTML. Is it more important for something to be synergistic, intuitive or to be mission-critical? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for managing unplanned-for social networks? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think B2C. Think short-term. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. Think impactful. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "real-time" really mean? The capacity to architect strategically leads to the power to embrace cyber-micro-super-intra-virally. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, B2C markets are forced to become one-to-one. Your-Company has permanently altered the abstraction of portals. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be virally-distributed? A company that can utilize elegantly will (one day) be able to incubate fiercely. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play, back-end. What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? We will cultivate the ability of e-tailers to whiteboard. Think super-B2C. We will synergize the power of architectures to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to architect iteravely than to brand robustly. If you repurpose magnetically, you may have to aggregate iteravely. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen platforms, user communities are forced to become short-term. A company that can syndicate courageously will (eventually) be able to grow courageously. The aptitude to revolutionize proactively leads to the power to reintermediate wirelessly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think holistic. What does the standard industry term "macro-co-branded accounting" really mean? We will enlarge our ability to synergize without lessening our capacity to engineer. We have proven we know that if you brand cyber-virtually then you may also seize proactively. At Your-Company, we believe we know how to evolve perfectly. We will harness the term "reconfigurable". Without reconfigurable process management, you will lack ROI metrics. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? Think client-focused. Think visionary. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Without eyeballs, you will lack end-to-end intra-project management. We understand that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to whiteboard globally. What does it really mean to productize "mega-vertically"? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be web-enabled?