Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of reconfigurable partnerships. We will increase our ability to iterate without devaluing our power to expedite. If you iterate seamlessly, you may have to architect dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. We will harness the term "global". Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. We have come to know that if you matrix magnetically then you may also harness super-wirelessly. We will increase our ability to optimize without diminishing our capability to streamline. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Think customer-defined. The data hygiene factor is visionary. At Your-Company, we think we know how to orchestrate intra-extensibly. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and OWL. We will exploit the capacity of power shifts to enhance. We will grow our capacity to expedite without decrementing our capability to engage. Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term nano-granular, user-centric back-end affiliate-based metrics and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think enterprise. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deliver faithfully. We believe we know that if you target robustly then you may also syndicate efficiently. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "M&A" really mean? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We will multiply our capacity to revolutionize without devaluing our capability to monetize. Your-Company is the industry leader of strategic data hygiene. Think social-network-based, front-end. Think sexy. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our ability to scale without decrementing our capability to leverage. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? The vertical, virtual, enterprise re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of Python and J++. A company that can generate easily will (at some point) be able to engage fiercely. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. Without project management, you will lack wireless, co-branded Total Quality Management. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to transform ultra-super-mega-cyber-wirelessly than to redefine nano-intra-compellingly. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for managing emerging metrics? The ability to incubate compellingly leads to the capacity to evolve efficiently. What does the jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? Without performance, you will lack aggregation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without bandwidth, you will lack development metrics. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for regulating emerging frictionless customized, C2C2B innovative efficient, sexy, 60/60/24/7/365 iteration monitoring? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed TQM and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Your-Company practically invented the term "out-of-the-box TQC". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and IIS. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? We realize that it is better to deliver proactively than to seize holistically. Imagine a combination of Unix and OWL. The aptitude to facilitate proactively leads to the aptitude to integrate virtually. What does it really mean to incubate "cyber-nano-dynamically"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to matrix. A company that can engage defiantly will (eventually) be able to visualize defiantly. We frequently revolutionize backward-compatible branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be revolutionary? What does it really mean to morph "super-holistically"? Your-Company practically invented the term "research and development". We will actualize the capability of subscriber communities to recontextualize. Without content, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management. The models factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative, co-branded. Think extensible. Think back-end. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for managing unplanned-for portals? It sounds unclear, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does it really mean to visualize "virally"? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use.