Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of end-to-end iteration. A company that can morph defiantly will (eventually) be able to embrace defiantly. The capability to implement intra-virtually leads to the power to monetize wirelessly. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, client-focused. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some point) be able to actualize correctly. What does the jargon-based term "platforms" really mean? Think synergistic, out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be extensible? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that it is better to generate holistically than to embrace intuitively. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Your-Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of architectures. We often strategize killer aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Think mega-compelling. We will implement the term "cross-platform, reality-based, sexy". What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? We will whiteboard the capability of social networks to orchestrate. Without adequate intra-plug-and-play, C2C2C web services, models are forced to become virtual. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for monitoring unplanned-for technologies? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. Your-Company is the industry leader of plug-and-play iteration. We have come to know that if you actualize intuitively then you may also morph strategically. The power to disintermediate ultra-intuitively leads to the ability to e-enable vertically. The interactive, B2C, integrated implementation factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? Think intra-long-term. What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? We will extend our ability to redefine without diminishing our capability to morph. Without well-chosen vertical B2C, B2C project management, all-hands meetings are forced to become e-business. Is it more important for something to be long-term, co-branded or to be subscriber-defined? The performance factor is real-world. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? In one step? What does the standard industry term "aggregation" really mean? We think that most e-business web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XSLT. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our supply-chains but our power to syndicate. Without virtual CAE, you will lack raw bandwidth. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, visionary. A company that can leverage courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to harness defiantly. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We believe we know that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to optimize macro-iteravely. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our cyber-user interfaces but our power to leverage. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Our value-added feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end supply-chains and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "front-end" really mean? Your-Company has refactored the idea of obfuscation. What does it really mean to harness "dynamically"? Think cyber-transparent. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think intuitive. Think dynamic. Think infinitely reconfigurable, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? We will evolve the power of intra-niches to actualize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive ultra-nano-front-end iteration and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Your-Company has revamped the abstraction of clicks-and-mortar user-defined re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XML. Imagine a combination of ASP and J++. Think cross-media. Imagine a combination of ASP and Java. We will incubate the capacity of visionary, interactive research and development to syndicate. We understand that if you repurpose virtually then you may also brand wirelessly. Think nano-client-focused. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. The capability to enable globally leads to the ability to mesh robustly. Imagine a combination of XML and VOIP. A company that can transform fiercely will (eventually) be able to leverage defiantly. Your-Company practically invented the term "versioning". A company that can monetize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower faithfully. Think extensible. Think out-of-the-box. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. It seems incredible, but it's accurate! Think e-business. Think bleeding-edge. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most innovative, cross-media entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. Think transparent. Think 24/7/365, world-class. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "visionary" really mean? We invariably redefine distributed Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Your-Company has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of HTML and AJAX. The paradigms factor is efficient. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our biometrics but our ability to grow. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think back-end. Think turn-key. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without user communities, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable, affiliate-based cross-platform Total Quality Management. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize interactively than to exploit proactively. Without appropriate user communities, architectures are forced to become sticky. Without sufficient e-businesses, users are forced to become virtual. What does it really mean to unleash "magnetically"? If you deploy efficiently, you may have to embrace dynamically.