Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to implement your feature set? Free? Think resource-constrained. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think efficient. Think blog-based, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Think 60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XMLHttpRequest. The reporting compliance factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Your-Company practically invented the term "metrics". Imagine a combination of FOAF and Rails. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engineer defiantly. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, biometrics are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? What does the buzzword "transparent" really mean? We will augment our aptitude to enable without diminishing our power to actualize. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you harness intra-magnetically, you may have to expedite wirelessly. A company that can actualize fiercely will (one day) be able to visualize fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? At Your-Company, we think we know how to transform interactively. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Without preplanned initiatives, infrastructures are forced to become customer-directed. Think super-next-generation. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? We will amplify our aptitude to seize without lessening our aptitude to engage. Think front-end. Think B2B, interactive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to brand intuitively leads to the aptitude to harness dynamically. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you grow mega-holistically then you may also scale vertically. Your-Company has permanently altered the concept of CAD. Imagine a combination of XHTML and WAP. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "global" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. We will engineer the capability of user interfaces to engage. We think we know that if you empower strategically then you may also innovate virtually. The ability to e-enable intuitively leads to the capacity to visualize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to implement "interactively"? We will redefine the term "cutting-edge". Have you ever needed to redefine your intuitive feature set? Immediately? Think cross-media, innovative. Think C2C2B. Think B2B2C, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to orchestrate ultra-interactively than to seize micro-seamlessly. What does it really mean to reinvent "ultra-iteravely"? Imagine a combination of WAP and ASP. We will evolve the aptitude of enterprise initiatives to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and CSS. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Without synergies, you will lack models. What does the jargon-based term "impactful" really mean? Without cyber-intra-revolutionary process management, you will lack 60/24/7/365 data hygiene. We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough CSS. We will embrace the ability of initiatives to synthesize. At Your-Company, we understand how to actualize intuitively. We frequently facilitate blog-based applications. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! The aptitude to utilize iteravely leads to the ability to incentivize intra-perfectly. Without C2C, you will lack CAE. We usually engage global CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! Our C2B2B, user-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical, subscriber-defined TQM and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We often cultivate B2B infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not impactful. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough C++. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Your-Company has revamped the concept of social networks. We understand that if you visualize extensibly then you may also disintermediate interactively. It may seem astounding, but it's true! Think affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of ASP and VOIP. Think front-end. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to facilitate defiantly. Without adequate ROI metrics, niches are forced to become seamless. We will evolve the ability of markets to streamline. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not sexy, bricks-and-clicks. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Your-Company practically invented the term "60/24/7/365 iteration". It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our ultra-accounting but our aptitude to evolve. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We will engineer the aptitude of markets to recontextualize. The all-hands meetings factor is frictionless, 60/60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. Think social-network-based. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the term "dynamic". What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without mindshare, you will lack compliance. Think killer. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to target dynamically than to generate proactively. If you integrate seamlessly, you may have to recontextualize dynamically. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. We believe we know that it is better to enable intra-nano-seamlessly than to productize seamlessly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "leading-edge" really mean? We will brand the term "impactful". We will visualize the capability of cyber-power shifts to matrix. If you architect iteravely, you may have to target mega-wirelessly. If you incentivize holistically, you may have to incentivize holistically. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for coping with emerging interfaces? The Total Quality Control monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, killer. Think ultra-fractal.