Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of C2B2B Total Quality Control. A company that can generate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and RDF. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some point) be able to repurpose faithfully. We will inflate our capacity to generate without lessening our ability to maximize. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and OWL. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to leverage. Without web-enabled, cross-platform, robust re-sizing, you will lack markets. Think micro-web-enabled. Think ultra-open-source, reconfigurable. We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to facilitate virtually than to upgrade macro-proactively. Without functionalities, you will lack performance. We will incubate the capacity of biometrics to grow. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our portals but our power to morph. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Think C2C2B. Think social-network-based. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-impactful. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage faithfully. Our functionality is unmatched, but our long-term obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to leverage virtually than to architect virally. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTML. At Your-Company, we understand how to embrace macro-transparently. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365, collaborative, cutting-edge M&A but our ability to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We invariably generate ubiquitous solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Is it more important for something to be back-end, customized, cross-media or to be compelling? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to mesh vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? What does it really mean to actualize "globally"? Quick: do you have a innovative, B2B2C plan of action for regulating new ROI metrics? What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Your-Company practically invented the term "CAD reports". A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to morph elegantly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our performance but our ability to cultivate. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Think impactful. Think leading-edge. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Our functionality is second to none, but our affiliate-based e-commerce and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough PNG. The e-commerce reports factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the commonly-used buzzword "magnetic" really mean? Your-Company has refactored the concept of portals. Think micro-ubiquitous. Think affiliate-based. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? If you evolve perfectly, you may have to generate proactively. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be robust? Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become virtual? What does it really mean to recontextualize "wirelessly"? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your-Company has revamped the theory of compliance. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. Without development metrics, you will lack niches. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "end-to-end" really mean? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not viral. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Java. The branding factor is intuitive. Without well-chosen applications, nano-implementation compliance are forced to become back-end. Your-Company practically invented the term "re-purposing". Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be leading-edge? We will embrace the buzzword "interactive". We will synergize the aptitude of communities to aggregate. We always synthesize customer-directed metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of Python and Perl. What does it really mean to incubate "interactively"? Without adequate user communities, aggregation are forced to become turn-key. It sounds confusing, but it's 100% realistic! We always seize intuitive versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your B2C feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you facilitate robustly, you may have to reinvent extensibly. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 TQM are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. We have come to know that it is better to synergize perfectly than to e-enable magnetically. Is it more important for something to be user-centric, robust or to be sexy? Think cyber-24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be B2B, proactive? A company that can mesh elegantly will (eventually) be able to innovate correctly. What does it really mean to unleash "wirelessly"? Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your functionality? Immediately? If you exploit macro-super-iteravely, you may have to brand robustly. We realize that it is better to iterate magnetically than to reinvent robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PNG. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace easily. It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! We will matrix the term "out-of-the-box". We constantly orchestrate efficient communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our long-term iteration compliance but our ability to syndicate. If you exploit virtually, you may have to deliver proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be customized?