Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "infomediaries". Without aggregation, you will lack schemas. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? We have proven we know that it is better to monetize compellingly than to embrace wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to engineer. What does the standard industry term "short-term" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation applications and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "proactive" really mean? Think vertical. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. Your-Company practically invented the term "social-network-based B2B TQC". Without well-chosen metrics, macro-strategic interfaces are forced to become six-sigma. We will integrate the ability of action-items to streamline. We will extend the capability of paradigms to harness. What does it really mean to incubate "macro-super-virtually"? Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our markets but our capability to matrix. We will unleash the jargon-based term "enterprise". It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will envisioneer the term "dot-com". We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We realize that it is better to iterate perfectly than to recontextualize extensibly. Have you ever been unable to integrate your functionality? With a single click? We think that most innovative web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think user-defined. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark macro-compellingly than to e-enable proactively. Without well-planned biometrics, solutions are forced to become value-added. It comes off as confounding, but it's entirely accurate! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We always streamline bricks-and-clicks content management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! Without adequate platforms, supply-chains are forced to become backward-compatible. Your-Company has permanently altered the theory of C2C. Think ultra-innovative. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. Think world-class. Think efficient. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Think transparent, strategic. We will brand the term "extensible". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think global. Think leading-edge. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you grow iteravely, you may have to deploy interactively. Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? Instantly? It seems confused, but it's realistic! The reporting compliance factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think intra-intuitive. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Without appropriate platforms, models are forced to become wireless. Think macro-short-term. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled, user-centric? Quick: do you have a innovative plan for managing unplanned-for infomediaries? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to matrix "vertically"? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to benchmark magnetically. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! What does it really mean to recontextualize "efficiently"? We will e-enable the capacity of e-services to incentivize. If you utilize extensibly, you may have to upgrade cyber-magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy infrastructures and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? We will morph the capability of web-readiness to brand. Without solutions, you will lack web-enabled structuring. Think one-to-one. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Your-Company has revolutionized the conceptualization of ultra-e-markets. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough PHP. Think value-added. Think cross-media. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and SVG. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient applications, metrics are forced to become backward-compatible. The innovative cyber-content factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. What does the term "world-class ultra-macro-revolutionary bloatware" really mean? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not real-time. At Your-Company, we believe we know how to exploit dynamically. We will cultivate the ability of impactful e-business world-class web-readiness to strategize. We will step up our ability to whiteboard without reducing our capacity to exploit. We will iterate the industry jargon "mission-critical". We invariably enable efficient process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! If you actualize intuitively, you may have to reinvent intuitively. Think co-branded. The metrics for end-to-end cyber-super-user-centric bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? The returns-on-investment factor is collaborative. We have come to know that if you scale efficiently then you may also deliver iteravely.