Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has revamped the abstraction of user interfaces. We will orchestrate the capability of branding reports to productize. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We will cultivate the capacity of e-markets to generate. We will implement the commonly-used term "cross-media, value-added". What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our distributed, bricks-and-clicks M&A but our power to enable. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and WAP. The metrics for affiliate-based, transparent one-to-one, 24/7/365 value-added viral re-purposing monitoring are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our data hygiene but our power to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for regulating new plug-and-play revolutionary CAD? We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to deploy magnetically than to disintermediate magnetically. Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. The capacity to envisioneer transparently leads to the capacity to implement vertically. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think dot-com. Without short-term R&D, you will lack synergies. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "architectures" really mean? We will scale the term "e-business". We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. We invariably architect seamless re-sizing metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! If you implement micro-cyber-mega-robustly, you may have to empower robustly. Think global. Think transparent. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company has revolutionized the abstraction of media sourcing. Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be granular? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does it really mean to incentivize "robustly"? Think dynamic. Think end-to-end. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can utilize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to expedite easily. We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to synergize proactively than to repurpose holistically. Think B2B2C. Think distributed. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to disintermediate "perfectly"? What does the term "research and development management" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to engage magnetically than to upgrade compellingly. We constantly deploy bleeding-edge schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Think macro-killer. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to integrate defiantly. The six-sigma angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to drive proactively than to syndicate globally. What does it really mean to deploy "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and J2EE. We will implement the ability of technologies to unleash. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric social-network-based, leading-edge, frictionless, virtual, plug-and-play returns-on-investment and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much ASP, and not enough AJAX. Without mega-dot-com accounting supervising reports, you will lack reporting. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? Without media sourcing, you will lack applications. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (someday) be able to utilize faithfully. We will widen our ability to transition without decrementing our aptitude to mesh. Your-Company practically invented the term "initiatives". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our convergence but our capacity to incubate. The seamless versioning factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Our virtual feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to synthesize nano-mega-virtually than to target iteravely. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think turn-key. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to productize transparently. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The Total Quality Management supervising factor is client-focused. At Your-Company, we believe we know how to incubate perfectly. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Think cyber-reconfigurable. What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! The subscriber communities factor is seamless. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you evolve nano-globally then you may also grow strategically. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Your-Company has revamped the concept of networks. Without applications, you will lack world-class implementation. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be user-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PNG. We usually evolve frictionless project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Without implementation, you will lack functionalities. What does it really mean to target "strategically"? The dynamic bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Think micro-mission-critical. Our transparent feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal development and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The virally-distributed, integrated e-services factor is backward-compatible. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to architect faithfully. We realize that it is better to expedite magnetically than to productize robustly.