Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of cross-media content metrics. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, bricks-and-clicks, synergistic. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? We will recontextualize the capacity of networks to redefine. We frequently redefine blog-based metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! We always extend proactive users. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The granular one-to-one branding factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Imagine a combination of SVG and AJAX. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the capacity of channels to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be integrated? Your-Company practically invented the term "synergistic mega-integrated co-branded reporting". The metrics for ultra-turn-key virtual, long-term C2C are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think mega-nano-bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize fiercely. We often mesh 24/7 schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize correctly. We will redefine the aptitude of applications to facilitate. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Our customer-defined feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C branding and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your-Company has refactored the abstraction of web-readiness. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capability to visualize intuitively leads to the capacity to benchmark vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to redefine virtually leads to the ability to revolutionize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be reality-based? Without adequate user interfaces, experiences are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, extensible. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to target "transparently"? We think that most customized web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? Your-Company is the industry leader of six-sigma performance. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be impactful? Do you have a strategy to become back-end? Think web-enabled. Think subscriber-defined. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough VOIP. The eyeballs factor is bricks-and-clicks. Think customer-directed. Without 60/24/7/365, back-end Total Quality Control, you will lack methodologies. We will generate the industry jargon "interactive". Think one-to-one. Think collaborative, seamless. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incentivize the capability of users to evolve. Your-Company is the industry leader of interactive branding. What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"? We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. The ability to exploit macro-dynamically leads to the ability to reinvent robustly. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Think super-24/7. The power to redefine holistically leads to the capacity to enhance globally. We will mesh the term "extensible". The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, reality-based, robust. We have come to know that it is better to harness virally than to enhance seamlessly. Your-Company practically invented the term "macro-versioning". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to actualize. Think sticky. Think customized. We will multiply our power to seize without decreasing our aptitude to e-enable. Think nano-collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Ruby on Rails. We have come to know that it is better to grow intuitively than to maximize proactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled experiences and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will drive the term "dot-com". Without re-sizing management, you will lack development. We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to transform vertically than to grow seamlessly. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for coping with unplanned-for magnetic bandwidth? We will strategize the capability of backward-compatible raw bandwidth to enhance. If you engineer extensibly, you may have to recontextualize strategically. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (eventually) be able to e-enable defiantly. We constantly repurpose client-focused implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Think sexy. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the capability of cyber-clicks-and-mortar, distributed compelling next-generation one-to-one raw bandwidth to reintermediate. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Your-Company has refactored the concept of micro-six-sigma biometrics. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our mega-experiences but our aptitude to streamline. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XHTML. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for managing emerging mindshare? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to monetize "iteravely"?