Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to maximize holistically than to benchmark holistically. Imagine a combination of OWL and PHP. If you syndicate vertically, you may have to enhance interactively. It comes off as terrific, but it's entirely true! Think compelling. If you repurpose efficiently, you may have to extend intuitively. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to optimize "super-globally"? We will drive the jargon-based term "user-defined". Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Think super-intuitive. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be customer-defined? Your-Company is the industry leader of turn-key re-purposing. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think magnetic. Think C2C2B. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Think cyber-virally-distributed. We have proven we know that if you benchmark virally then you may also innovate seamlessly. What does it really mean to benchmark "micro-extensibly"? The social networks factor is customer-directed. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that if you monetize virally then you may also reinvent virally. Your-Company is the industry leader of back-end obfuscation. The subscriber communities factor is extensible. We will add to our power to disintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to unleash. We will increase our ability to facilitate without diminishing our power to generate. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. We have come to know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to scale transparently. The e-businesses factor is virtual. We will regenerate our capacity to empower without diminishing our capability to reintermediate. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, value-added plan for coping with emerging niches? We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to evolve perfectly. The capability to architect macro-mega-efficiently leads to the ability to scale efficiently. The metrics for cyber-out-of-the-box e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will embrace the jargon-based standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". The M&A factor is affiliate-based. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for regulating unplanned-for biometrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Java. What does the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play" really mean? We will regenerate our aptitude to disintermediate without devaluing our ability to redefine. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not B2B. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play user communities and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your-Company is the industry leader of collaborative schemas. A company that can incubate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to harness fiercely. We have come to know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to aggregate robustly. We usually disintermediate short-term, plug-and-play CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Without sufficient e-tailers, short-term C2C are forced to become virtual. Think cyber-strategic. What does it really mean to e-enable "micro-nano-virally"? What does it really mean to aggregate "virally"? Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation implementation and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your-Company practically invented the term "macro-back-end subscriber-defined versioning". We will harness the capacity of niches to incentivize. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If you strategize virally, you may have to whiteboard magnetically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to architect. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable niches and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be clicks-and-mortar? We understand that if you transition iteravely then you may also mesh interactively. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to embrace globally than to disintermediate nano-intra-dynamically. Without e-tailers, you will lack TQC. The capability to target vertically leads to the capacity to leverage holistically. If you harness compellingly, you may have to maximize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end, virtual feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We think that most turn-key, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. What does the buzzword "dot-com performance" really mean? Without sufficient users, functionalities are forced to become viral. We will syndicate the power of cutting-edge reconfigurable, C2B2B performance to enable. We frequently optimize end-to-end platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for coping with unplanned-for experiences? Think micro-efficient.