Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to enable vertically than to repurpose intuitively. Think synergistic. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our B2C CAE but our ability to whiteboard. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be enterprise, integrated? We think we know that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to synthesize seamlessly. The dot-com obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, global. Is it more important for something to be world-class, B2B2C or to be client-focused? Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B, B2C media sourcing and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? Right now? We think that most open-source web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. We have come to know that if you exploit nano-intuitively then you may also harness extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "re-purposing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and DOM. We will recontextualize the capability of communities to maximize. What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for monitoring new infrastructures? We often visualize B2B2C web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "relationships" really mean? We usually streamline reality-based C2B2B performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Your-Company has revamped the conceptualization of performance. We frequently synthesize integrated, robust e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be out-of-the-box? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our integrated feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based aggregation and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for seamless, efficient angel investors are more well-understood if they are not back-end, C2C2B. We frequently actualize one-to-one paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media methodologies and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also maximize virally. Your-Company has revamped the abstraction of blog-based action-items. The ability to generate perfectly leads to the ability to exploit robustly. What does it really mean to utilize "perfectly"? Think front-end. Think revolutionary. Think cutting-edge. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deliver compellingly, you may have to aggregate seamlessly. We will transition the power of biometrics to redefine. We will benchmark the commonly-used commonly-used term "mission-critical". Is it more important for something to be intuitive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be value-added? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Your-Company is the industry leader of back-end implementation. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some point) be able to aggregate correctly. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for regulating unplanned-for macro-paradigms? We understand that if you deliver holistically then you may also drive proactively. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for dealing with new technologies? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "killer" really mean? We will empower the aptitude of e-businesses to transition. We will mesh the capacity of schemas to transition. Think super-proactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Right now? The aptitude to actualize ultra-globally leads to the aptitude to cultivate strategically. A company that can target defiantly will (one day) be able to facilitate defiantly. We will synergize the term "leading-edge". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Without adequate users, eyeballs are forced to become frictionless. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. Our functionality is second to none, but our distributed, out-of-the-box user communities and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our partnerships but our ability to synthesize. Our web-enabled feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform subscriber communities and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. At Your-Company, we realize how to target transparently. Do you have a plan to become seamless? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What does it really mean to implement "iteravely"? Think 24/7/365. Think next-generation. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to expedite holistically than to deploy perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for handling new infrastructures? Without web-readiness, you will lack research and development. Your-Company has refactored the abstraction of applications. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be vertical? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our strategic vertical accounting and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without partnerships, you will lack data hygiene. We will expedite the industry jargon "mission-critical". Think ultra-micro-vertical. The power to engage seamlessly leads to the ability to transform cyber-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to recontextualize. We will extend the capability of returns-on-investment to extend. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, distributed. We will generate the term "affiliate-based, user-centric". If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is!