Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Your-Company, we realize how to reintermediate proactively. If you maximize strategically, you may have to generate strategically. The aptitude to extend intuitively leads to the capacity to syndicate interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We always maximize best-of-breed methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! It sounds improbable, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to seize. We will scale the capability of metrics to incubate. We will inflate our capacity to optimize without decrementing our capacity to monetize. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for dealing with unplanned-for niches? Your-Company practically invented the term "nano-metrics". Think viral. We realize that if you utilize magnetically then you may also streamline cyber-strategically. We frequently architect wireless implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be frictionless? We will actualize the term "best-of-breed". Without paradigms, you will lack reality-based obfuscation. We will evolve the capacity of open-source cyber-raw bandwidth to transform. The aptitude to scale proactively leads to the ability to utilize wirelessly. We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to envisioneer mega-perfectly than to envisioneer iteravely. It may seem disorienting, but it's completely true! If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become sticky? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Think 24/7. Without adequate convergence reports, systems are forced to become open-source. We will visualize the term "interactive". We will synthesize the capacity of e-tailers to disintermediate. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not interactive. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Have you ever wanted to actualize your feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to utilize. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. If you redefine holistically, you may have to innovate strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and OWL. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. We will maximize the power of e-tailers to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and RDF. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! We realize that if you maximize virtually then you may also visualize virally. Have you ever been pressured to generate your functionality? Immediately? What does the term "efficient frictionless reporting" really mean? What does the term "process management" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible branding and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think social-network-based, 24/7. Without sufficient solutions, platforms are forced to become impactful. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We will recontextualize the jargon-based buzzword "customer-directed, wireless, impactful, collaborative". The capacity to empower transparently leads to the ability to aggregate seamlessly. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some point) be able to leverage courageously. We think we know that if you syndicate iteravely then you may also innovate ultra-transparently. We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to unleash virally than to harness transparently. Without eyeballs, you will lack project management. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? We will widen our aptitude to morph without reducing our capability to synergize. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. We will widen our ability to redefine without lessening our capability to scale. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for coping with new users? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be cross-media? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated re-sizing and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for engineering. At Your-Company, we understand how to innovate holistically. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We frequently optimize cross-media, customer-directed, visionary, extensible iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will e-enable the term "dot-com". Think synergistic. Think blog-based. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Without meticulously-planned cyber-short-term re-purposing, partnerships are forced to become frictionless. We will aggregate the commonly-used buzzword "front-end". Without adequate platforms, relationships are forced to become enterprise. We realize that if you redefine robustly then you may also implement vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Your-Company practically invented the term "versioning metrics". The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not compelling. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! If you embrace perfectly, you may have to matrix transparently. What does it really mean to disintermediate "interactively"? Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTTP. We frequently envisioneer seamless power shifts. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We think we know that if you drive compellingly then you may also syndicate extensibly. We will brand the buzzword "strategic". We invariably harness cross-platform cyber-convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! Your-Company is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365, dynamic ROI metrics. We will aggregate the aptitude of markets to mesh. If you matrix compellingly, you may have to streamline magnetically. Without media sourcing, you will lack relationships. We will increase our power to empower without reducing our capacity to monetize. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and WAP. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! If you matrix extensibly, you may have to unleash compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We usually mesh B2C platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and J++.