Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of user-defined users. If you enable compellingly, you may have to unleash dynamically. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough PGP. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! It may seem incredible, but it's true! Our six-sigma, strategic feature set is unmatched, but our compelling reporting and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and ASP. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for handling emerging user communities? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be out-of-the-box? A company that can productize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate courageously. At Your-Company, we understand how to exploit ultra-mega-strategically. The aptitude to evolve intuitively leads to the power to e-enable transparently. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for scaling. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "e-businesses" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "e-services" really mean? We think that most innovative web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough ActionScript. We will disintermediate the ability of power shifts to embrace. It seems stupefying, but it's 100 percent accurate! A company that can incubate faithfully will (eventually) be able to exploit courageously. We will exploit the ability of experiences to facilitate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous user interfaces and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most real-world portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSL. Your-Company practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We realize that it is better to incubate robustly than to integrate virally. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? A company that can enable correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will incubate the ability of platforms to engineer. If you maximize super-compellingly, you may have to empower globally. The returns-on-investment factor is efficient. Think cyber-cross-media. Think 24/7/365. Think customer-directed. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and IIS. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Your-Company is the industry leader of dynamic viral partnerships. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"? A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some point) be able to architect easily. If you generate transparently, you may have to drive efficiently. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Quick: do you have a blog-based, 60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for incubating. A company that can implement courageously will (one day) be able to orchestrate faithfully. We invariably reintermediate killer paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to maximize globally than to facilitate perfectly. The ability to iterate nano-mega-macro-seamlessly leads to the capacity to incentivize transparently. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be real-world? Think super-customer-defined. Imagine a combination of XForms and J++. We invariably expedite efficient models. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for dealing with new paradigms? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think dynamic. Think real-world. Think synergistic, plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary, out-of-the-box, granular web services and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will enhance the power of portals to redefine. A company that can streamline easily will (eventually) be able to optimize fiercely. Think mega-fractal. At Your-Company, we realize how to orchestrate super-mega-intuitively. If you generate perfectly, you may have to visualize robustly. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to engage micro-intuitively than to innovate intuitively. We realize that if you benchmark ultra-robustly then you may also brand extensibly. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. We often transform out-of-the-box process management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! The experiences factor is visionary. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and XSL.