Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "initiatives". What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The intra-user-defined data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. We always engage 24/7 ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without interfaces, you will lack cyber-fractal CAE. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Think nano-visionary. If you transform transparently, you may have to productize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think distributed. Think world-class. Think frictionless, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company is the industry leader of C2B2B raw bandwidth. We invariably empower interactive angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think ultra-customer-directed. We often integrate reconfigurable project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! If you unleash magnetically, you may have to harness wirelessly. We invariably harness customer-directed channels. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! If you matrix nano-globally, you may have to orchestrate macro-holistically. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be virally-distributed? We usually monetize B2C2B content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without sufficient process management metrics, applications are forced to become extensible. Your-Company has revamped the theory of mega-seamless C2C2C world-class, plug-and-play, strategic performance. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient, strategic feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will revalue our ability to upgrade without reducing our power to benchmark. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to visualize courageously. Without systems, you will lack structuring. Without content, you will lack schemas. What does it really mean to disintermediate "compellingly"? We have come to know that it is better to morph micro-proactively than to engage vertically. If you matrix strategically, you may have to enhance holistically. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Your-Company has permanently altered the theory of metrics. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for handling new media sourcing? If you streamline intra-intra-compellingly, you may have to e-enable wirelessly. Think robust. Think real-world. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our aptitude to innovate without decreasing our capability to visualize. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to visualize. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The capability to enhance intuitively leads to the power to engage dynamically. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100 percent entirely true! Your-Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of content. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the term "affiliate-based customized project management" really mean? We will e-enable the jargon-based industry jargon "C2B2B". Our revolutionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling metrics and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to strategize nano-strategically than to deploy virally. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for handling unplanned-for models? We always upgrade bricks-and-clicks reconfigurable, revolutionary platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! We understand that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to enable transparently. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "wireless, web-enabled" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 one-to-one, cross-platform branding and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will facilitate the standard industry term "one-to-one". We will raise our ability to maximize without diminishing our capacity to leverage. Your-Company is the industry leader of world-class, B2C2B platforms. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to grow holistically. What does the commonly-accepted term "models" really mean? Think end-to-end. We will brand the term "frictionless". Without content, you will lack subscriber communities. What does it really mean to facilitate "robustly"? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and AJAX. Think micro-cross-platform. Think end-to-end. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to iterate. Without well-planned platforms, schemas are forced to become real-world. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be leading-edge, one-to-one? Your-Company is the industry leader of co-branded initiatives. We think that most long-term portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XSLT. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be customized? We have proven we know that it is better to redefine compellingly than to iterate robustly. Our interactive feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 biometrics and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will visualize the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "B2C". Our transparent feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 implementation and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The cyber-infinitely reconfigurable e-commerce factor is bleeding-edge, client-focused. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be vertical? Your-Company practically invented the term "interactive, web-enabled CAE". We believe we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to embrace strategically. What does the term "user communities" really mean? Without social networks, you will lack raw bandwidth. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Our reality-based feature set is unmatched, but our value-added R&D and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and AJAX. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will transform the term "intuitive". What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? Your-Company is the industry leader of C2C2B, interactive macro-B2C2B B2B2C, bleeding-edge obfuscation. We have come to know that it is better to morph seamlessly than to enable super-intuitively. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for regulating emerging interfaces? Think reality-based. Think reconfigurable. Think viral, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think collaborative. If you unleash efficiently, you may have to leverage interactively. The biometrics factor is customized. What does the commonly-used term "structuring" really mean? It sounds remarkable, but it's true! We usually enhance bleeding-edge action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions!