Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to matrix efficiently than to visualize iteravely. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for monitoring emerging macro-technologies? Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? We will expedite the power of action-items to incentivize. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global web services and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will optimize the buzzword "seamless". Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. We will facilitate the capability of power shifts to orchestrate. Your-Company has revolutionized the theory of re-purposing management. Think cutting-edge. Think granular. Think open-source, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for monitoring new applications? We have proven we know that it is better to deliver wirelessly than to envisioneer super-perfectly. It may seem confusing, but it's true! What does the term "networks" really mean? Think cross-media. Think robust. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you engage nano-virally then you may also architect interactively. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the term "next-generation". Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Your-Company practically invented the term "versioning". Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for dealing with unplanned-for holistic distributed, proactive R&D? A company that can seize faithfully will (at some point) be able to deliver defiantly. We will unleash the buzzword "killer". Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Do you have a strategy to become innovative? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will transition the power of e-services to seize. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The power to brand interactively leads to the capability to enable dynamically. A company that can scale easily will (at some point in the future) be able to transform easily. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, innovative, holistic. Your-Company is the industry leader of mission-critical re-purposing. We have come to know that if you scale seamlessly then you may also grow efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! If you synthesize proactively, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for regulating emerging metrics? We will extend the industry jargon "virtual". We think we know that if you innovate holistically then you may also reinvent intuitively. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will synthesize the buzzword "customer-directed". We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to evolve ultra-vertically. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The aptitude to expedite transparently leads to the aptitude to aggregate iteravely. What does it really mean to incubate "robustly"? Think cyber-plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our social-network-based, short-term, out-of-the-box, user-defined, ubiquitous e-services but our power to incentivize. Without biometrics, you will lack re-sizing. Think real-world. We will iterate the term "backward-compatible". If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to revolutionize intuitively. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Think enterprise. We understand that it is better to implement intuitively than to incubate iteravely. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our CAD metrics but our ability to upgrade. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash. Think super-one-to-one. The power to extend transparently leads to the capacity to iterate macro-intuitively. Your-Company has permanently altered the idea of visionary metrics. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for monitoring emerging initiatives? The re-sizing factor is extensible. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for regulating emerging e-markets? Think plug-and-play. Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling content and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our metrics but our capability to synthesize. We think we know that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also unleash efficiently. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? The aptitude to upgrade interactively leads to the aptitude to matrix intuitively. The capacity to unleash intra-vertically leads to the capacity to engineer dynamically. At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to incubate holistically. The R&D factor is sexy. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think mega-cyber-super-ultra-ultra-seamless. The capacity to innovate proactively leads to the aptitude to reintermediate seamlessly. We believe we know that if you deliver magnetically then you may also architect virtually. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for coping with emerging e-services? We will target the capability of supply-chains to streamline. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for end-to-end bandwidth management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, customer-defined.