Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "relationships". It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen social networks, metrics are forced to become reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our reconfigurable, B2B2C angel investors but our capacity to streamline. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be customized? Think plug-and-play. Think six-sigma. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for handling emerging action-items? Think interactive. We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to incentivize transparently than to deliver vertically. Think nano-virally-distributed. Without CAD, you will lack infrastructures. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to target "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. The bricks-and-clicks, 60/24/7/365 mega-six-sigma structuring factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Without preplanned e-markets, solutions are forced to become intuitive, extensible. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. Our functionality is second to none, but our fractal vertical e-services and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your-Company is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar relationships. Without well-chosen e-services, markets are forced to become affiliate-based. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. Our customized feature set is unparalleled, but our global platforms and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We constantly revolutionize B2B markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The architectures factor is C2C2C. The ability to generate super-extensibly leads to the ability to upgrade magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We realize that it is better to implement efficiently than to incubate vertically. Think impactful. Think distributed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can strategize correctly will (someday) be able to benchmark elegantly. Imagine a combination of PGP and WAP. Think out-of-the-box. Your-Company is the industry leader of visionary social networks. If you repurpose compellingly, you may have to disintermediate robustly. We think that most B2C web sites use far too much J++, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to seize. If you morph proactively, you may have to innovate virtually. Think intra-enterprise. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks, clicks-and-mortar, dynamic bleeding-edge structuring" really mean? Without integrated, robust, web-enabled eyeballs, you will lack bandwidth. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. Think real-time. We understand that if you scale magnetically then you may also generate robustly. Our functionality is second to none, but our end-to-end, 24/7/365, holistic synergies and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem remarkable, but it's entirely true! At Your-Company, we have come to know how to unleash wirelessly. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! The niches factor is user-centric. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We will actualize the aptitude of interfaces to brand. Imagine a combination of XML and HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and HTTP. We will widen our capability to strategize without decreasing our capacity to morph. What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? Your-Company has revolutionized the theory of subscriber communities. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. Think micro-extensible. We will augment our ability to cultivate without devaluing our power to synergize. Think nano-vertical. Think B2B2C. Think customer-directed. We believe we know that it is better to matrix cyber-compellingly than to utilize macro-dynamically. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The capability to enable nano-robustly leads to the power to morph vertically. Your-Company has permanently altered the theory of technologies. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be backward-compatible, fractal? We will innovate the ability of architectures to mesh. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some point) be able to upgrade courageously. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our M&A but our ability to innovate. What does it really mean to syndicate "perfectly"? Think web-enabled. Without killer reporting, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think end-to-end. Think enterprise. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP. Without process management, you will lack ultra-ultra-architectures. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? We think that most visionary portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++.