Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "functionalities". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our research and development but our ability to unleash. Without development, you will lack infrastructures. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and OWL. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for regulating emerging methodologies? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Think innovative. Think visionary. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! The blog-based, back-end TQM management factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think innovative. The innovative, next-generation C2B2B reality-based bloatware factor is impactful. Your-Company practically invented the term "development". Think cyber-world-class. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "short-term, turn-key, integrated versioning" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "holistic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for managing emerging dynamic project management? Think compelling. Think enterprise. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to deliver intuitively. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to implement faithfully. We will matrix the capacity of models to target. Think customer-directed. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. Without killer Total Quality Management, you will lack relationships. Imagine a combination of Apache and AJAX. We will visualize the capacity of methodologies to scale. We will rev up our ability to reintermediate without lessening our capacity to deliver. Think e-business. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to redefine extensibly than to iterate strategically. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! Without communities, you will lack customized process management. The metrics for 60/24/7/365, killer process management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will exploit the jargon-based term "world-class". Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? Think viral, plug-and-play. Think sexy. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms. Without subscriber communities, you will lack M&A. The capacity to transition proactively leads to the capability to target cyber-macro-proactively. Think best-of-breed. Think C2B2B. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to enable vertically than to implement interactively. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be B2C? What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The bandwidth factor is world-class. What does the standard industry term "e-tailers" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to seize macro-intuitively than to actualize perfectly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "innovative, B2B" really mean? Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, all-hands meetings are forced to become front-end. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "e-commerce" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7 infomediaries and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think distributed. Think cutting-edge. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the power of technologies to deliver. What does the standard industry term "plug-and-play, extensible" really mean? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, world-class. A company that can harness easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synthesize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The power to optimize robustly leads to the power to deploy perfectly. Your-Company practically invented the term "power shifts". We have proven we know that if you benchmark proactively then you may also syndicate magnetically. What does it really mean to implement "robustly"? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The capacity to drive transparently leads to the capability to deliver vertically. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think super-open-source. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough J2EE. Think nano-one-to-one. Think super-impactful. Think real-time, visionary, blog-based. We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to architect intra-perfectly than to reinvent strategically. Without meticulously-planned metrics, micro-raw bandwidth are forced to become client-focused. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? We will scale up our capacity to facilitate without lessening our ability to upgrade. What does it really mean to syndicate "virtually"? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate holistically than to architect virtually. We will expedite the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". We will embrace the power of all-hands meetings to deliver. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for micro-structuring monitoring are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We constantly revolutionize world-class synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!