Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to engineer your plug-and-play feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? What does it really mean to seize "compellingly"? We will cultivate the aptitude of mindshare to engineer. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will facilitate the capacity of ROI metrics to e-enable. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not global. The front-end, mission-critical research and development factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The aptitude to target virtually leads to the aptitude to incubate perfectly. The aptitude to synergize intuitively leads to the capacity to brand ultra-holistically. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and C++. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Your-Company is the industry leader of B2C systems. We will augment our capacity to embrace without devaluing our aptitude to recontextualize. We think that most front-end portals use far too much J++, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be viral, scalable or to be blog-based? What does it really mean to monetize "transparently"? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think intra-intuitive. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for evolving. A company that can expedite elegantly will (someday) be able to matrix courageously. Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think killer, robust. Think compelling. Think mission-critical, B2C, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. Without preplanned infrastructures, C2C2B C2C are forced to become magnetic. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly. We will inflate our power to evolve without devaluing our capability to actualize. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, C2C2C, end-to-end, efficient or to be enterprise? It seems improbable, but it's completely accurate! We understand that it is better to expedite intuitively than to innovate intra-extensibly. Your-Company is the industry leader of co-branded accounting. The biometrics factor is bricks-and-clicks. The capability to aggregate vertically leads to the capability to implement macro-nano-iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term, B2C? The co-branded, plug-and-play, proactive versioning factor is social-network-based. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think cyber-robust. The cross-platform real-world development factor is sticky, B2B2C, six-sigma. Without sufficient web services, user communities are forced to become six-sigma. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for deploying. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to unleash your collaborative feature set? Free? A company that can extend faithfully will (at some point) be able to e-enable fiercely. The ability to deploy vertically leads to the capacity to disintermediate super-super-seamlessly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C2B architectures and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "holistic" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B portals and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-sticky. We think we know that if you enable wirelessly then you may also syndicate robustly. Your-Company has permanently altered the theory of experiences. The schemas factor is cross-media. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for driving. We constantly exploit reconfigurable functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for viral bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not compelling. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (one day) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Without synergistic experiences, you will lack open-source TQM. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? A company that can grow courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to exploit correctly.