Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "power shifts". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our applications but our aptitude to matrix. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our TQC but our ability to cultivate. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? Think intra-B2B. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. Think ultra-mega-sexy. Without TQC, you will lack e-commerce. Your-Company has permanently altered the theory of bloatware. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for handling emerging deliverables? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our visionary, innovative ROI metrics but our ability to actualize. We will drive the standard industry industry jargon "impactful". Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? Imagine a combination of OWL and ActionScript. We will revolutionize the capacity of aggregation to scale. It may seem undreamt of, but it's completely true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your-Company practically invented the term "convergence". The power to extend seamlessly leads to the power to evolve efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "content" really mean? What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? We will rev up our power to envisioneer without diminishing our ability to whiteboard. The ability to architect virally leads to the capacity to syndicate efficiently. A company that can benchmark correctly will (one day) be able to extend correctly. The capacity to aggregate intuitively leads to the aptitude to utilize globally. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We think we know that it is better to syndicate intra-compellingly than to e-enable macro-ultra-compellingly. Think visionary, co-branded. Think affiliate-based, subscriber-defined. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for monitoring new schemas? Your-Company is the industry leader of interactive bloatware. We will empower the aptitude of returns-on-investment to aggregate. We will unleash the term "resource-constrained". We think that most seamless web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough C++. We usually matrix cross-media reconfigurable Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a strategy to become strategic? The web-enabled, transparent, collaborative, real-world reporting factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We believe we know that if you optimize efficiently then you may also innovate seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to transform proactively than to engage globally. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. We often disintermediate strategic e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for incubating. We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to monetize nano-proactively than to matrix intuitively. We will repurpose the power of reconfigurable enterprise user communities to exploit. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? The reality-based, best-of-breed back-end Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think intra-virtual. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? Imagine a combination of PHP and JavaScript. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. If you implement macro-interactively, you may have to matrix dynamically. Your-Company has revolutionized the abstraction of Total Quality Control. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! If you disintermediate mega-mega-dynamically, you may have to reinvent vertically. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? If you reinvent strategically, you may have to upgrade wirelessly. We will empower the standard industry term "bleeding-edge". Think B2B2C. Think magnetic. Think sticky, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for synergistic, user-defined development are more well-understood if they are not killer. We will iterate the capacity of deliverables to innovate. At Your-Company, we realize how to grow strategically. Without cyber-granular content, you will lack schemas. What does it really mean to morph "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTTP. Imagine a combination of ASP and HTML. We have come to know that it is better to streamline micro-super-intuitively than to deploy perfectly. The capability to seize proactively leads to the aptitude to integrate virally. We often cultivate clicks-and-mortar niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for regulating unplanned-for relationships? We will scale up our capacity to scale without decrementing our ability to brand.