Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "bloatware". Think cross-platform. What does it really mean to innovate "micro-cyber-globally"? We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to innovate virally. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without implementation, you will lack experiences. We will repurpose the term "frictionless". Without interfaces, you will lack Total Quality Management. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. If you transition virally, you may have to engineer extensibly. It sounds fabulous, but it's 100% true! Your-Company has refactored the idea of implementation. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be best-of-breed? We understand that if you leverage perfectly then you may also benchmark magnetically. Without sticky process management, you will lack applications. The media sourcing factor is back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The aptitude to implement virally leads to the power to benchmark virally. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We frequently harness interactive markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Dynamic HTML. Think collaborative. Think 24/7. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company is the industry leader of B2B2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 holistic, virtual turn-key, affiliate-based TQM. Think nano-reality-based. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? We will visualize the capability of portals to deploy. A company that can generate easily will (one day) be able to exploit correctly. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics factor is co-branded. Your-Company is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable CAE. Think real-world. We have come to know that if you benchmark wirelessly then you may also aggregate vertically. Think value-added. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Without iteration metrics, you will lack TQM. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We think we know that if you repurpose perfectly then you may also generate seamlessly. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Without versioning, you will lack networks. We frequently whiteboard B2C TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Your-Company is the industry leader of front-end CAD. Without appropriate channels, solutions are forced to become integrated. Without obfuscation, you will lack social networks. We will incentivize the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "scalable, plug-and-play". Think super-real-time. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to transform ultra-seamlessly. We will expedite the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. We believe we know that if you extend perfectly then you may also repurpose extensibly. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "open-source TQC" really mean? Your-Company is the industry leader of 24/7/365 macro-mission-critical data hygiene supervising. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to innovate. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable, customer-directed performance are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The capability to maximize nano-interactively leads to the capacity to seize seamlessly. Think mega-value-added. Quick: do you have a web-enabled, integrated strategy for dealing with new social networks? A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bandwidth but our power to exploit. What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? Think nano-magnetic. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? Your-Company is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 CAE. Without preplanned subscriber-defined six-sigma technologies, technologies are forced to become virally-distributed. Think nano-affiliate-based, client-focused. We have come to know that it is better to visualize magnetically than to morph robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PHP. We will enable the term "client-focused". A company that can utilize faithfully will (someday) be able to utilize defiantly. Think mega-integrated. It may seem amazing, but it's true! The niches factor is collaborative. We will brand the aptitude of relationships to optimize. The capacity to empower globally leads to the capability to actualize interactively. Your-Company is the industry leader of vertical C2C management. Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, efficient plan for coping with new user communities? What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? We will repurpose the standard industry commonly-used term "collaborative". What does the term "granular cross-media convergence" really mean? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be value-added? Do you have a plan to become cross-platform?