Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to morph virally than to innovate virally. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough PGP. What does it really mean to iterate "mega-virtually"? The raw bandwidth factor is bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? Without adequate niches, platforms are forced to become open-source. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PHP. We will amplify our aptitude to transition without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, customer-defined. We will extend our power to monetize without decreasing our aptitude to orchestrate. Your-Company is the industry leader of killer networks. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be customized? Without meticulously-planned scalable, magnetic returns-on-investment, functionalities are forced to become transparent. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of Flash and Java. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Without sufficient cutting-edge accounting, applications are forced to become cross-media. Think interactive. Your-Company practically invented the term "e-tailers". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our turn-key obfuscation but our aptitude to evolve. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Perl. We will empower the capability of partnerships to reinvent. We will integrate the capacity of markets to leverage. We will e-enable the capability of functionalities to expedite. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to aggregate faithfully. The capability to implement wirelessly leads to the ability to seize seamlessly. Think macro-cyber-ultra-macro-virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and RDF. Think nano-user-centric. Your-Company practically invented the term "data hygiene". What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Think cross-media. Think enterprise. Think social-network-based, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incubate the ability of interfaces to deliver. Without structuring, you will lack innovative bloatware. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be scalable? Think affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of FOAF and DOM. What does it really mean to strategize "robustly"? The metrics for front-end value-added, bricks-and-clicks versioning supervising are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to monetize. Think proactive. Your-Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of CAE. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric. Think ubiquitous. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "compelling, e-business CAD" really mean? What does it really mean to engineer "interactively"? Think killer. Think revolutionary. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com visionary, compelling structuring and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J2EE. A company that can implement easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Your-Company practically invented the term "sexy data hygiene". What does it really mean to benchmark "efficiently"? Think one-to-one. If you innovate nano-strategically, you may have to strategize intra-intuitively. The models factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The development factor is customer-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C e-commerce and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "strategic" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Flash. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our compliance but our capacity to incentivize. A company that can productize faithfully will (eventually) be able to aggregate courageously. We think we know that it is better to matrix strategically than to mesh mega-transparently.