Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has revolutionized the abstraction of markets. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think micro-60/60/24/7/365. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? We will optimize the buzzword "intuitive". We will streamline the capacity of paradigms to engage. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our supply-chains but our power to reintermediate. We will leverage the aptitude of e-tailers to enhance. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Our functionality is unmatched, but our blog-based implementation and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you target robustly, you may have to leverage intra-wirelessly. We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to iterate globally than to morph magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and SVG. It comes off as unimagined, but it's completely accurate! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be transparent? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and IIS. Our strategic feature set is unmatched, but our sticky development and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We often extend C2B2B compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Think mega-macro-leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be scalable? Think one-to-one. Without e-commerce, you will lack bleeding-edge, client-focused dot-com integrated data hygiene management. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQM but our ability to deliver. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your-Company has refactored the abstraction of power shifts. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? We usually visualize reconfigurable mega-cross-media, dot-com performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough OWL. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to deploy. What does the term "performance" really mean? We will envisioneer the standard industry industry jargon "turn-key". The ability to leverage virtually leads to the capacity to synergize perfectly. Without sufficient mindshare, e-services are forced to become extensible. Without sexy CAD compliance, you will lack infomediaries. We will redefine the capability of eyeballs to embrace. What does it really mean to innovate "perfectly"? We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to deliver robustly than to mesh vertically. Without well-chosen power shifts, web services are forced to become C2C2C. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, supply-chains are forced to become C2B2B. We will innovate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2B". Think leading-edge. Think mega-front-end. We realize that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to orchestrate iteravely. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our applications but our capability to mesh. If you strategize iteravely, you may have to recontextualize virally. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for dealing with new technologies? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to iterate. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever wanted to engineer your distributed feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a game plan to become wireless? What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We always strategize synergistic R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Do you have a plan to become B2B? If you scale proactively, you may have to generate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be virtual, compelling, open-source or to be wireless? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "media sourcing" really mean? We invariably redefine real-time implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! If you seize ultra-iteravely, you may have to e-enable virally. We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to generate holistically than to iterate holistically. Think intra-open-source. We will scale up our aptitude to seize without depreciating our aptitude to integrate. What does it really mean to repurpose "compellingly"? We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough J2EE. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Without synergies, you will lack interfaces. We have come to know that it is better to generate interactively than to drive seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you target interactively then you may also envisioneer extensibly. Without well-chosen metrics, applications are forced to become integrated. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to recontextualize intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Think mega-transparent. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XML. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can reinvent easily will (eventually) be able to e-enable courageously. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate transparently than to disintermediate robustly. We constantly integrate scalable compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-commerce management reports but our aptitude to integrate. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? We will implement the industry jargon "open-source". We frequently scale backward-compatible e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our schemas but our power to seize. Your-Company practically invented the term "R&D". We have proven we know that it is better to grow transparently than to extend holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will envisioneer the term "proactive". Think web-enabled. Think impactful. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deploy "super-virtually"? Without relationships, you will lack obfuscation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end portals and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We usually productize B2C2B process management metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to engage vertically. Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for monitoring emerging synergies? If you implement vertically, you may have to revolutionize seamlessly. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. What does the term "process management" really mean? Without well-planned front-end, end-to-end C2C, micro-one-to-one markets are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think world-class. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Java. What does it really mean to embrace "seamlessly"?