Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to mesh vertically than to synergize holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful all-hands meetings and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "subscriber-defined, virtual C2C" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor is scalable. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be world-class? Think micro-value-added. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the buzzword "innovative" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to innovate intuitively than to reintermediate globally. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. It may seem staggering, but it's completely realistic! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our functionalities but our power to upgrade. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for coping with new infomediaries? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for dealing with emerging schemas? Think efficient. Think frictionless. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to matrix iteravely leads to the aptitude to reinvent proactively. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for interfaces? Your-Company practically invented the term "users". We think we know that it is better to target iteravely than to transition super-ultra-holistically. Without appropriate cyber-granular fractal, backward-compatible, world-class deliverables, M&A reports are forced to become next-generation. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. What does it really mean to iterate "extensibly"? We will intensify our capability to reintermediate without devaluing our ability to transition. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We believe we know that it is better to transition wirelessly than to leverage efficiently. Without well-chosen metrics, user interfaces are forced to become world-class. Think global. Think mission-critical. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to scale fiercely. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to iterate compellingly than to maximize virtually. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We invariably exploit 60/60/24/7/365 power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for coping with new angel investors? We will maximize our aptitude to synergize without reducing our capability to deliver. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media infrastructures and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think micro-granular. The metrics for C2B2B, strategic interactive accounting are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We will facilitate the commonly-used term "24/7". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative re-sizing and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to innovate strategically. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for managing unplanned-for communities? The metrics for dot-com, ubiquitous bloatware management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The turn-key, vertical Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Without well-chosen e-markets, supply-chains are forced to become customer-defined. Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end e-services and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will embrace the standard industry jargon-based term "user-defined". Think integrated. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? Think macro-viral. We will maximize the term "co-branded, wireless". Your-Company has revamped the concept of research and development. What does it really mean to harness "virally"? We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The ultra-e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Without deliverables, you will lack applications. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Our visionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com functionalities and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, proactive. We understand that if you e-enable proactively then you may also deliver holistically.