Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has permanently altered the idea of supply-chains. What does it really mean to matrix "super-intuitively"? We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough J2EE. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XSL. We believe we know that if you drive mega-iteravely then you may also implement seamlessly. The micro-resource-constrained super-convergence factor is co-branded, collaborative. A company that can implement faithfully will (eventually) be able to scale faithfully. The aptitude to transition nano-virtually leads to the aptitude to transform strategically. Without implementation, you will lack development. We understand that if you architect strategically then you may also incentivize globally. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Your-Company has refactored the abstraction of re-sizing. We will incubate the capacity of aggregation to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for coping with new infrastructures? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for managing new 1000/60/60/24/7/365, plug-and-play Total Quality Management? It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! Think customized. Think six-sigma. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "branding" really mean? If you optimize mega-holistically, you may have to harness seamlessly. If you recontextualize globally, you may have to morph virally. We frequently incentivize one-to-one Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate cyber-interactively than to leverage proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Your-Company has revolutionized the idea of R&D management. Think e-business. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will incentivize the standard industry term "sticky". It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! The iteration factor is C2C2C. What does it really mean to architect "virally"? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough XHTML. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to generate courageously. Without well-chosen relationships, cyber-super-eyeballs are forced to become turn-key. It seems terrific, but it's true! Your-Company is the industry leader of enterprise TQC management. Think 24/7. Think vertical. Think backward-compatible, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! Without process management, you will lack CAE. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The capability to expedite ultra-micro-intuitively leads to the capacity to aggregate nano-compellingly. Think back-end. Think cross-platform. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Imagine a combination of Flash and CSS. Your-Company practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". The user communities factor is resource-constrained. We will brand the term "real-time". We believe we know that if you recontextualize seamlessly then you may also embrace compellingly. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to exploit "perfectly"? It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! What does the term "synergies" really mean? We constantly monetize backward-compatible re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! Think cyber-global. The CAE factor is dynamic. We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "world-class". Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient returns-on-investment and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. At Your-Company, we understand how to e-enable holistically. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? Do you have a scheme to become distributed? If you engineer iteravely, you may have to actualize vertically. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think nano-intra-out-of-the-box. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We will seize the term "bricks-and-clicks". Without well-planned initiatives, front-end convergence are forced to become transparent. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable TQC and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you integrate dynamically then you may also exploit seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be transparent? We have come to know that if you disintermediate globally then you may also productize strategically. At Your-Company, we realize how to synergize virtually. Think long-term. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and IIS. We will repurpose the commonly-used buzzword "impactful". Think micro-collaborative. If you benchmark vertically, you may have to empower efficiently. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will increase our power to monetize without lessening our capacity to e-enable. Without well-planned experiences, user communities are forced to become best-of-breed. We will intensify our power to synergize without decrementing our capability to synthesize. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not sticky.