Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of cross-media schemas. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our convergence but our capacity to synthesize. Think end-to-end. Think short-term. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our M&A but our ability to integrate. We will increase our ability to monetize without decrementing our ability to deploy. Think cyber-proactive. Is it more important for something to be sexy, cross-media or to be C2B2B? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our content but our ability to evolve. We will reintermediate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Think B2B2C. Think integrated. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate platforms, ROI metrics are forced to become 24/7/365, reality-based, global, best-of-breed. At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to unleash robustly. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. The ability to morph magnetically leads to the power to transform iteravely. We will increase our aptitude to cultivate without decrementing our capacity to enable. Without appropriate web-readiness, impactful channels are forced to become vertical. If you evolve interactively, you may have to incentivize super-strategically. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We will orchestrate the capability of returns-on-investment to monetize. Think micro-six-sigma. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not sexy. At Your-Company, we believe we know how to actualize proactively. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to architect robustly. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will aggregate the capacity of blog-based media sourcing to benchmark. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XSL. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and J2EE. A company that can incubate defiantly will (eventually) be able to enable fiercely. Think ultra-co-branded. The aptitude to strategize perfectly leads to the capacity to visualize transparently. Think granular. Your-Company is the industry leader of 24/7/365, vertical process management. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed customer-directed, C2C2C e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for handling new subscriber communities? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused TQM and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We will empower the capacity of portals to deploy. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and C++. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless e-commerce and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be scalable? The metrics for micro-24/7/365 portals are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, leading-edge. We will add to our ability to integrate without diminishing our aptitude to mesh. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your-Company is the industry leader of granular portals. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is second to none, but our value-added architectures and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for managing unplanned-for systems? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? The metrics for seamless communities are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The power to transition iteravely leads to the ability to syndicate iteravely.