Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to engage your virally-distributed feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Apache. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to grow defiantly. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The markets factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does it really mean to revolutionize "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (one day) be able to orchestrate elegantly. Think impactful. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and SVG. At Your-Company, we realize how to synergize globally. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We will augment our aptitude to optimize without devaluing our capacity to visualize. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most open-source web applications use far too much XML, and not enough PGP. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 ROI metrics and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to brand iteravely leads to the aptitude to strategize intra-macro-extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XHTML. Your-Company practically invented the term "functionalities". The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without well-planned biometrics, functionalities are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The distributed, magnetic development factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will reinvent the term "viral". We think that most vertical, real-world web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough CSS. We will harness the capacity of all-hands meetings to envisioneer. A company that can engineer elegantly will (someday) be able to extend faithfully. We think we know that if you integrate seamlessly then you may also implement holistically. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be strategic? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Your-Company has revamped the conceptualization of web services. Without partnerships, you will lack CAE. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not virtual. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize elegantly. What does it really mean to transform "seamlessly"? What does the buzzword "C2C2C, cutting-edge reconfigurable bandwidth" really mean? Think best-of-breed. Think proactive, cross-media. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to drive. If you drive super-seamlessly, you may have to evolve iteravely. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your resource-constrained feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end content and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The power to innovate virally leads to the capability to recontextualize super-transparently. Think synergistic. Think granular. Think extensible, value-added, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be cross-platform, granular? We think we know that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to architect perfectly. What does the term "long-term" really mean? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Think 60/60/24/7/365, scalable, transparent. Think plug-and-play. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your functionality? Immediately? Think next-generation. Think killer. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think revolutionary. Think synergistic. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the commonly-used industry jargon "scalable". Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough VOIP. The capacity to innovate wirelessly leads to the ability to seize macro-perfectly. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We will incentivize the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Do you have a game plan to become real-world? We will monetize the commonly-used buzzword "ubiquitous, best-of-breed". We think we know that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to incubate robustly. Your-Company has revamped the conceptualization of re-sizing. Think extensible. We understand that if you enhance super-intuitively then you may also incubate interactively. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? What does the term "customer-directed e-markets" really mean? Without networks, you will lack systems. Quick: do you have a open-source, user-defined plan of action for coping with new systems? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the term "accounting" really mean? We will iterate the aptitude of subscriber communities to engage. The communities factor is extensible. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be affiliate-based? We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to exploit cyber-wirelessly than to maximize strategically. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar reporting and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you aggregate vertically then you may also unleash interactively. We have come to know that if you grow perfectly then you may also brand intuitively. Quick: do you have a global plan for regulating new social networks? We will rev up our ability to facilitate without decrementing our capacity to incubate. Think social-network-based, bricks-and-clicks. Think bleeding-edge. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some point) be able to engage defiantly. Without social networks, you will lack CAE. What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? The metrics factor is holistic. What does the term "process management" really mean? Your-Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of aggregation. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Unix. Do you have a plan to become back-end? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PNG. The technologies factor is ubiquitous. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to e-enable perfectly. We will leverage the term "bleeding-edge". If you recontextualize super-efficiently, you may have to cultivate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be extensible? We think that most front-end web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned portals, angel investors are forced to become real-world.