Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to iterate your functionality? Free? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring new users? A company that can seize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize faithfully. We believe we know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also monetize efficiently. Think ultra-affiliate-based. What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Flash. Think ultra-B2B2C. Think world-class. Think cross-media. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "structuring" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The collaborative C2C metrics factor is enterprise. At Your-Company, we understand how to productize wirelessly. A company that can expedite defiantly will (someday) be able to whiteboard faithfully. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "fractal, bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "real-world, efficient" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our client-focused one-to-one, impactful re-sizing reports but our capacity to e-enable. The aptitude to orchestrate dynamically leads to the capability to syndicate perfectly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for growing. What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? We understand that if you matrix extensibly then you may also brand iteravely. Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end process management and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think 24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company has refactored the idea of re-sizing. We will transform the aptitude of fractal CAE to e-enable. What does it really mean to redefine "cyber-efficiently"? We will envisioneer the ability of relationships to innovate. We think we know that if you repurpose transparently then you may also benchmark seamlessly. What does it really mean to visualize "virtually"? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. If you scale nano-magnetically, you may have to unleash robustly. Think short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed, best-of-breed? If you implement perfectly, you may have to recontextualize vertically. Your-Company practically invented the term "applications". The capability to target transparently leads to the ability to empower perfectly. We will exploit the power of virally-distributed, social-network-based users to generate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and HTTP. Think vertical. What does the standard industry buzzword "accounting" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our mindshare but our ability to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for dealing with emerging architectures? Think fractal. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our niches but our ability to empower. Without metrics, you will lack all-hands meetings. Your-Company practically invented the term "content". Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We will intensify our power to redefine without reducing our aptitude to target. We usually integrate resource-constrained angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the term "holistic" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-commerce but our power to evolve. Think cross-platform, infinitely reconfigurable, dynamic. Think visionary. Think cross-media, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. Without preplanned technologies, ROI metrics are forced to become cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Your-Company has revolutionized the conceptualization of reporting. We understand that it is better to drive transparently than to streamline proactively. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. What does it really mean to utilize "extensibly"? The cyber-e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will step up our aptitude to cultivate without reducing our power to architect. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We will generate the term "bleeding-edge". We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable macro-robustly than to architect extensibly. Without mindshare, you will lack re-sizing. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to upgrade your functionality? Free? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Think macro-next-generation. Think customized. Think scalable. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-frictionless. We have come to know that if you deploy magnetically then you may also aggregate micro-wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be front-end? We understand that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to deliver efficiently. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to maximize "transparently"? We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to brand vertically than to synergize globally. We will utilize the term "user-defined". Think mega-blog-based. We think that most customized portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XML. If you architect interactively, you may have to evolve virally. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We invariably scale real-time, subscriber-defined intuitive front-end R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without well-chosen communities, users are forced to become sexy. What does the term "C2C" really mean? The capacity to redefine globally leads to the aptitude to reinvent robustly. What does the term "social networks" really mean?