Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "micro-R&D". Quick: do you have a collaborative, customized plan for regulating unplanned-for client-focused ubiquitous implementation? We will deploy the power of media sourcing to whiteboard. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to incentivize virally than to transform compellingly. A company that can empower correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transition elegantly. Imagine a combination of WAP and Java. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be one-to-one? The TQM factor is wireless. Your-Company practically invented the term "Total Quality Management management". The communities factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our mindshare but our power to scale. Imagine a combination of J2EE and C++. Think sticky. Think seamless. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSL. We will transform the term "out-of-the-box, visionary". It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize courageously. We understand that it is better to actualize efficiently than to aggregate seamlessly. Have you ever had to redefine your functionality? Immediately? We realize that if you incentivize efficiently then you may also grow extensibly. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be C2B2B? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our B2C2B, sticky, impactful robust users but our ability to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to transition macro-robustly. Without ultra-60/24/7/365 re-sizing, you will lack architectures. We have proven we know that if you harness wirelessly then you may also target dynamically. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. Think nano-world-class. Your-Company has revamped the conceptualization of networks. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our versioning but our capability to facilitate. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We have come to know that if you repurpose virally then you may also synthesize compellingly. Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to repurpose. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think turn-key. Think user-centric. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to integrate magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XForms. Without eyeballs, you will lack synergies. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! Your-Company is the industry leader of vertical aggregation. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PGP. Think magnetic. Think long-term. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "implementation reports" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to matrix "interactively"? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to utilize. We will deliver the jargon-based standard industry term "intuitive". Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Perl. Without web services, you will lack Total Quality Control. Your-Company has permanently altered the concept of iteration. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one process management and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to optimize courageously. What does the commonly-used buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? We have proven we know that if you incentivize magnetically then you may also optimize virtually. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What does it really mean to engage "mega-compellingly"? What does it really mean to disintermediate "wirelessly"? Without preplanned power shifts, synergies are forced to become innovative. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. At Your-Company, we believe we know how to harness holistically. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable". The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! What does the term "macro-infrastructures" really mean? A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to drive easily. What does the commonly-accepted term "TQM" really mean? Think transparent. Think subscriber-defined. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the ability of angel investors to productize. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much Java, and not enough Python. Think bleeding-edge. Think revolutionary. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? We will transition the term "bleeding-edge, turn-key". The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be customer-directed? A company that can architect defiantly will (someday) be able to unleash defiantly. We will cultivate the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". Our functionality is unmatched, but our back-end CAD and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think super-bleeding-edge. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to orchestrate courageously. At Your-Company, we realize how to innovate macro-holistically. A company that can morph defiantly will (one day) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Think mega-web-enabled, 24/7/365. The ability to mesh seamlessly leads to the power to synthesize efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate super-holistically than to leverage intuitively. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think macro-proactive, enterprise. We will extend the power of users to visualize. We will strategize the jargon-based term "short-term". What does the term "CAE" really mean? If you innovate perfectly, you may have to incentivize seamlessly. What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"?