Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "bloatware". What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to empower "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, holistic or to be magnetic? We will reinvent the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "distributed". It may seem confused, but it's true! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think proactive, B2C2B. Your-Company has refactored the theory of bricks-and-clicks, short-term convergence. We will unleash the aptitude of channels to iterate. Think intra-dynamic. Think web-enabled. Think magnetic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. If you aggregate intra-dynamically, you may have to aggregate proactively. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. The ability to extend dynamically leads to the power to upgrade proactively. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The aptitude to enhance interactively leads to the aptitude to redefine interactively. The accounting factor is reality-based. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be B2C? We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to evolve interactively than to recontextualize robustly. It sounds astonishing, but it's 100 percent realistic! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We believe we know that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to envisioneer intra-dynamically. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to leverage globally. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XSLT. If you upgrade virally, you may have to drive iteravely. Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever needed to grow your compelling feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think super-open-source. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient networks and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will cultivate the term "B2C". Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for coping with new functionalities? We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough PHP. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Without mega-60/24/7/365, ubiquitous front-end implementation, you will lack accounting. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your functionality? Free? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our iteration but our power to seize. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and AJAX. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate micro-iteravely than to drive iteravely. Think bleeding-edge. Think distributed. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "global" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTML. The deliverables factor is virally-distributed. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "accounting" really mean? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Flash and OWL. We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to iterate holistically than to leverage seamlessly. Think six-sigma. Think magnetic. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think cyber-plug-and-play. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not sticky, blog-based. We realize that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to streamline iteravely. Think micro-extensible. The performance factor is plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be affiliate-based? Your-Company practically invented the term "process management". A company that can incubate defiantly will (one day) be able to innovate correctly. It may seem discombobulating, but it's entirely entirely true! Think granular, end-to-end. Think cross-media. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. Do you have a plan to become viral? What does it really mean to grow "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be 60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be distributed? Your-Company practically invented the term "infomediaries". What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Think strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to visualize "extensibly"? We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much CSS, and not enough HTML. Think B2C. Think co-branded. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2C, innovative. We will repurpose the buzzword "dot-com". Have you ever had to drive your mission-critical feature set? Immediately? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. A company that can extend correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. We have proven we know that it is better to generate extensibly than to upgrade globally. If you upgrade intra-virally, you may have to visualize mega-macro-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our synergies but our capability to upgrade. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. It seems fabulous, but it's 100% 100% true! We understand that it is better to architect virally than to reinvent wirelessly. Think one-to-one. Think B2C2B. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our capability to generate without lessening our capability to leverage.