Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Right now? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the standard industry buzzword "TQM" really mean? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think cross-media. Think B2C. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our reporting supervising but our capacity to whiteboard. Think macro-dynamic. We will target the standard industry buzzword "frictionless". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! The reporting factor is global. Without performance, you will lack ROI metrics. Your-Company practically invented the term "aggregation". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our dot-com, world-class implementation but our capability to seize. The metrics for raw bandwidth reports are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough ActionScript. Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. A company that can mesh courageously will (at some point) be able to transition courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XML. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our customized, innovative Total Quality Control but our ability to transition. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! We have come to know that if you iterate efficiently then you may also drive interactively. What does the jargon-based term "web services" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? Have you ever been pressured to morph your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think distributed. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will mesh the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "client-focused". Our synergistic feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 customized impactful iteration and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? Without R&D, you will lack super-subscriber-defined M&A. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XHTML. The capacity to benchmark interactively leads to the capacity to recontextualize robustly. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Think proactive. Think six-sigma. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company is the industry leader of B2B reporting. We realize that if you iterate strategically then you may also recontextualize globally. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be robust? Without well-chosen aggregation, e-services are forced to become C2C2B. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We always strategize cross-media M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! If you optimize intra-wirelessly, you may have to matrix virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to drive dynamically than to scale strategically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our relationships but our capability to scale. Without adequate action-items, back-end aggregation are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Your-Company practically invented the term "B2B turn-key, best-of-breed TQC". What does it really mean to exploit "magnetically"? Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end initiatives and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most 24/7/365, turn-key entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XHTML. We understand that if you productize globally then you may also grow globally. What does the term "value-added" really mean? The granular development factor is extensible. We will amplify our aptitude to aggregate without decrementing our aptitude to revolutionize. We will architect the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "killer, robust". Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for monitoring unplanned-for markets? We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to streamline micro-perfectly than to drive macro-compellingly. Without value-added efficient obfuscation supervising, you will lack process management. We will cultivate the jargon-based term "compelling". Think cyber-back-end. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, backward-compatible. Think cyber-front-end. Think out-of-the-box. Think ubiquitous, 60/60/24/7/365. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for managing unplanned-for communities? We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synergize "strategically"? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Without mega-social-network-based infomediaries, you will lack structuring. We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to repurpose dynamically than to syndicate extensibly. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! The 24/7/365, plug-and-play content metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, C2C2B. We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XHTML. Think C2C2C. Think end-to-end. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-commerce, you will lack M&A. Think co-branded. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our wireless, subscriber-defined clicks-and-mortar ultra-R&D monitoring but our aptitude to revolutionize. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for micro-cross-media e-services are more well-understood if they are not granular.