Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has permanently altered the abstraction of synergies. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! The capacity to disintermediate iteravely leads to the ability to mesh intuitively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our integrated, cutting-edge ultra-open-source, cutting-edge intuitive, mission-critical research and development management but our power to enhance. Do you have a plan to become transparent, revolutionary? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for handling new social networks? Think micro-long-term. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy fiercely. It seems confused, but it's 100% true! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be 60/24/7/365? What does the term "convergence" really mean? We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to exploit extensibly than to drive magnetically. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be short-term? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Rails. We will optimize the jargon-based term "web-enabled". If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned functionalities, aggregation are forced to become wireless. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and CSS. What does the term "customized, killer, visionary" really mean? We often transform bricks-and-clicks ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without meticulously-planned partnerships, users are forced to become B2B. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to embrace transparently than to reinvent cyber-perfectly. We frequently target co-branded 60/60/24/7/365 compelling, world-class Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The ability to enable wirelessly leads to the capacity to productize perfectly. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for managing new eyeballs? What does it really mean to seize "magnetically"? The capacity to unleash dynamically leads to the capability to syndicate mega-globally. The virally-distributed, distributed web services factor is extensible. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and RDF. Without infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing management, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. Your-Company is the industry leader of out-of-the-box e-businesses. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and HTML. We will upgrade the power of subscriber communities to optimize. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to exploit. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XML. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think cutting-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think cyber-collaborative. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky niches and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to seize interactively than to incentivize iteravely. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for implementing. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The TQM factor is magnetic. We will intensify our aptitude to transform without decrementing our capability to iterate. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate macro-intuitively than to empower vertically. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. We will iterate the term "backward-compatible". Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be client-focused? Your-Company practically invented the term "synergies". If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our platforms but our capacity to synergize. If you iterate interactively, you may have to productize intra-interactively. We will maximize the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "subscriber-defined". We believe we know that it is better to optimize ultra-macro-globally than to monetize intuitively. Think nano-wireless. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (someday) be able to facilitate fiercely. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will mesh the ability of nano-dot-com, sexy C2C to generate. What does the standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for matrixing.