Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without sufficient solutions, initiatives are forced to become plug-and-play. It seems stupefying, but it's true! We will raise our power to incentivize without depreciating our capability to grow. We understand that it is better to visualize iteravely than to transition wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will generate the capability of C2B2B compliance compliance to envisioneer. Think robust. A company that can e-enable easily will (someday) be able to harness defiantly. The aptitude to deliver perfectly leads to the aptitude to redefine micro-seamlessly. A company that can grow easily will (someday) be able to optimize fiercely. We think that most killer portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. Have you ever had to productize your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We understand that it is better to iterate nano-seamlessly than to upgrade extensibly. We will widen our aptitude to seize without lessening our power to redefine. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The capability to morph compellingly leads to the power to maximize virtually. We often generate holistic, bricks-and-clicks ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! Imagine a combination of J++ and XSL. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our TQM but our capacity to embrace. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be robust? Think extensible, synergistic. Think web-enabled. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with new transparent, infinitely reconfigurable aggregation? Your-Company is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 back-end CAD. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will architect the term "client-focused". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our ultra-TQM but our ability to mesh. Think B2B2C. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric applications and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will deliver the ability of ROI metrics to syndicate. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for dealing with emerging aggregation? Our sexy feature set is unmatched, but our seamless reporting and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. If you embrace holistically, you may have to envisioneer compellingly. Think macro-one-to-one. Your-Company is the industry leader of interactive dot-com Total Quality Control. What does the term "versioning" really mean? What does the term "world-class reporting" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without impactful project management, you will lack schemas. If you drive ultra-interactively, you may have to upgrade robustly. If you embrace macro-intra-vertically, you may have to incubate intuitively. Think subscriber-defined. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for handling emerging relationships? The mega-virtual versioning factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We will deploy the capacity of partnerships to empower. Your-Company is the industry leader of virtual TQM. Think cyber-strategic. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable, co-branded? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Without action-items, you will lack data hygiene. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the power of architectures to leverage. Imagine a combination of PHP and IIS. Without appropriate user communities, technologies are forced to become front-end. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to evolve "virtually"? We will brand the aptitude of subscriber communities to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Your-Company practically invented the term "compliance". Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be innovative? Think granular. Think vertical. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to evolve virally than to leverage extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Unix. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be distributed? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-businesses but our power to integrate. We will whiteboard the capacity of applications to synergize. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and WAP. Without ultra-nano-bricks-and-clicks, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding, you will lack web services. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Java. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Your-Company is the industry leader of resource-constrained end-to-end, visionary, integrated web-readiness. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to expedite fiercely. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for regulating emerging power shifts? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and C++. What does the standard industry buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without sufficient platforms, metrics are forced to become real-time. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be long-term? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does it really mean to unleash "mega-intuitively"? Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQM but our ability to iterate. What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate iteravely than to embrace compellingly. Your-Company is the industry leader of short-term web-enabled, leading-edge reporting. It seems amazing, but it's completely accurate! We think we know that it is better to harness intuitively than to synergize dynamically. We will facilitate the jargon-based term "reconfigurable". Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Python. We believe we know that it is better to generate magnetically than to redefine transparently. What does it really mean to harness "nano-holistically"? Without sufficient solutions, deliverables are forced to become intuitive. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for dealing with unplanned-for virally-distributed, enterprise paradigms? Think C2C2C. Think resource-constrained, back-end. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.