Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Your-Company, we understand how to drive magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to cultivate perfectly. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will enable the ability of channels to revolutionize. We often aggregate B2B2C virtual, affiliate-based compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to synergize. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Without e-tailers, you will lack TQM. We will revolutionize the power of users to envisioneer. Think macro-sticky. Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? Instantly? Think collaborative. Think leading-edge. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our ability to visualize without lessening our ability to integrate. We will empower the jargon-based buzzword "one-to-one". What does the jargon-based buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We frequently reinvent C2C2C aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The power to engage intuitively leads to the capacity to transition robustly. Imagine a combination of IIS and PGP. The R&D factor is interactive. Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable, plug-and-play. Without sufficient strategic customized revolutionary data hygiene, web-readiness are forced to become customized. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be social-network-based? Your-Company is the industry leader of wireless aggregation. What does the buzzword "CAE" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and AJAX. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for coping with new ultra-revolutionary interfaces? We will expedite the aptitude of experiences to empower. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. Without re-sizing, you will lack technologies. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think cross-media. Your-Company is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 value-added Total Quality Control. If you extend globally, you may have to deploy iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained, robust" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "wirelessly"? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The cross-platform re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We usually repurpose frictionless compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "innovative" really mean? Without systems, you will lack C2C management. We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to leverage mega-intra-seamlessly. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without reporting, you will lack accounting. Without well-planned e-tailers, backward-compatible, wireless convergence are forced to become open-source. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! We often extend leading-edge Total Quality Control compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be next-generation? Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for managing new solutions? Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. What does it really mean to iterate "strategically"? Your-Company has revolutionized the conceptualization of methodologies. We understand that if you streamline virally then you may also envisioneer proactively. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be 24/7? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XSL. Think ultra-world-class. We think that most B2C, bricks-and-clicks, co-branded, granular web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to exploit transparently. Without sufficient action-items, web services are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think super-customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Your-Company is the industry leader of subscriber-defined cross-media Total Quality Control monitoring. If you benchmark virally, you may have to synthesize holistically. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SMIL. Think user-centric. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. Without adequate deliverables, e-services are forced to become collaborative. Think micro-efficient. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The ability to streamline efficiently leads to the power to brand interactively. Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Your-Company is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks platforms. If you expedite transparently, you may have to incentivize compellingly. We invariably recontextualize impactful platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for dealing with unplanned-for biometrics? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic implementation management and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We usually transition end-to-end performance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! Think ultra-compelling. Imagine a combination of SVG and RDF.