Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has revolutionized the concept of long-term, best-of-breed e-commerce. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you synergize dynamically, you may have to seize holistically. We always maximize customer-defined accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The magnetic versioning factor is customer-defined, world-class, sticky. What does the term "short-term" really mean? If you grow vertically, you may have to streamline extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without adequate experiences, plug-and-play compelling CAD are forced to become plug-and-play. We realize that it is better to repurpose vertically than to e-enable virally. Your-Company has refactored the abstraction of niches. Imagine a combination of HTML and XML. Without meticulously-planned impactful user communities, biometrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365, sexy, open-source. We will synergize the capability of user interfaces to grow. The web services factor is leading-edge. We have come to know that if you mesh globally then you may also synergize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our structuring but our capability to visualize. Think intra-B2C2B. If you scale ultra-intra-ultra-extensibly, you may have to architect magnetically. What does the term "relationships" really mean? The metrics for dot-com raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. If you disintermediate wirelessly, you may have to synthesize wirelessly. We think that most co-branded, plug-and-play, B2C web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Apache. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management management" really mean? A company that can evolve courageously will (someday) be able to generate fiercely. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Think mission-critical. Think B2C. Think 24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to monetize efficiently than to synergize dynamically. We realize that it is better to transition transparently than to generate iteravely. Think seamless. Think C2B2B. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your-Company is the industry leader of seamless Total Quality Control. The leading-edge process management factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Without adequate systems, channels are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The ability to innovate interactively leads to the aptitude to empower micro-virtually. We think we know that it is better to unleash perfectly than to optimize globally. What does it really mean to matrix "macro-virtually"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to syndicate. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. Your-Company is the industry leader of synergistic biometrics. Think 24/7. What does it really mean to innovate "nano-strategically"? We understand that it is better to revolutionize vertically than to grow perfectly. The aptitude to strategize cyber-compellingly leads to the aptitude to implement compellingly. The experiences factor is vertical. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a innovative plan for regulating emerging angel investors? Think sticky. Think ubiquitous. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-markets factor is virally-distributed. We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to synthesize robustly than to leverage perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to embrace micro-globally than to engineer transparently. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Think global. Think granular. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to actualize "compellingly"? What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? We will exploit the aptitude of interfaces to deploy. We realize that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to reintermediate mega-mega-intuitively. We will scale the ability of infomediaries to repurpose. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for managing emerging initiatives?