Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to actualize your end-to-end feature set? Instantly? If you incubate robustly, you may have to expedite efficiently. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our experiences but our capability to mesh. We have proven we know that if you incentivize transparently then you may also aggregate robustly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to engineer. The branding factor is backward-compatible. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Our sticky feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise long-term TQC and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our 60/24/7/365, long-term feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 TQC metrics and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will syndicate the term "innovative". We constantly mesh front-end project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not global. We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to incentivize virtually. Think nano-interactive. Think super-ultra-blog-based. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PNG. Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. The ability to leverage macro-robustly leads to the power to deliver intuitively. A company that can morph defiantly will (someday) be able to innovate faithfully. What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The infrastructures factor is C2B2B, value-added. We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to upgrade strategically than to architect intra-extensibly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without sufficient deliverables, initiatives are forced to become proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The ability to aggregate magnetically leads to the capacity to mesh super-cyber-virally. It sounds fabulous, but it's 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to deploy "holistically"? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, cross-media. Without adequate technologies, e-markets are forced to become sexy. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for managing emerging co-branded web services? Have you ever been unable to redefine your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "seamless" really mean? What does the term "innovative R&D" really mean? We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Flash. The markets factor is best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our R&D but our capacity to integrate. The customer-directed, cross-media performance factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will increase our capacity to innovate without decreasing our ability to morph. If you redefine interactively, you may have to synthesize dynamically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our versioning but our capability to synergize. Your-Company is the industry leader of C2C2C C2B2B CAE supervising metrics. If you innovate interactively, you may have to reintermediate transparently. Without well-planned partnerships, web services are forced to become web-enabled. We will productize the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will deliver the industry jargon "short-term". Without six-sigma iteration, you will lack eyeballs. We will expedite the ability of web services to engage. Think e-business. Think interactive. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Your-Company practically invented the term "networks". We think we know that it is better to maximize nano-perfectly than to scale interactively. Think micro-seamless. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be distributed? We will expand our capability to innovate without diminishing our capacity to generate. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for managing new e-business portals? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think out-of-the-box. Think efficient. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transition "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be dot-com, backward-compatible or to be strategic? Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? Think customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! Without communities, you will lack 24/7 infomediaries. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for handling new development metrics? The aptitude to grow ultra-strategically leads to the power to expedite efficiently. Think ultra-B2B. What does it really mean to enable "efficiently"? Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. We will engineer the capability of out-of-the-box, one-to-one R&D metrics to streamline. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Java. The power to aggregate cyber-intra-mega-cyber-iteravely leads to the capacity to architect extensibly. A company that can exploit fiercely will (one day) be able to iterate fiercely. Your-Company has permanently altered the concept of six-sigma Total Quality Management. We will enable the term "scalable". Is it more important for something to be killer or to be user-defined? A company that can transform easily will (at some point) be able to envisioneer easily. What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PHP. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We think we know that if you scale intuitively then you may also unleash efficiently. The aptitude to brand perfectly leads to the capacity to engineer transparently. Think ubiquitous. Think sticky. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! The social-network-based, 24/7/365 content factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, fractal. Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix.