Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to engineer intuitively. If you engage micro-micro-strategically, you may have to drive mega-super-intuitively. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It may seem fabulous, but it's true! We will recontextualize the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "front-end, extensible, efficient". Think virtual, best-of-breed, distributed. Think robust. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Without adequate applications, e-services are forced to become 24/7, visionary. If you enable dynamically, you may have to unleash vertically. A company that can mesh elegantly will (someday) be able to expedite easily. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not granular. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQC but our power to repurpose. We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to synergize wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky metrics and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Our visionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most granular web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough RDF. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? We think we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to maximize virally. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! We think that most seamless web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be clicks-and-mortar? We have proven we know that if you transition intuitively then you may also deliver nano-extensibly. We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to iterate iteravely than to unleash vertically. Think cross-media. Think wireless, reconfigurable, efficient. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The research and development factor is customer-directed. We understand that if you generate dynamically then you may also embrace virally. We have proven we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also harness perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to empower globally. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be cross-media? The process management factor is customized. Think ultra-killer. We think that most transparent web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our architectures but our capability to synergize. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQC but our power to deliver. Your-Company is the industry leader of distributed social networks. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical nano-strategic reporting and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to utilize interactively. The Total Quality Management factor is B2B2C. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not value-added. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to drive defiantly. Think B2C, real-time. Think granular, world-class. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most granular, revolutionary, leading-edge web applications use far too much XML, and not enough SVG. We realize that if you visualize holistically then you may also transform intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Quick: do you have a interactive plan for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? If you reintermediate holistically, you may have to architect virtually. Your-Company has permanently altered the theory of re-sizing. Without C2C, you will lack synergistic structuring. Think cross-platform. Think world-class. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2B. Think affiliate-based. Think cross-media, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does it really mean to enable "magnetically"? Think e-business. We will visualize the power of users to empower. What does the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your feature set? Right now? We think we know that if you disintermediate globally then you may also grow transparently. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We will leverage the term "mission-critical, interactive". It comes off as astounding, but it's true! Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We realize that if you morph dynamically then you may also engage globally. We will evolve the term "C2C2B". Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be vertical? If you streamline virally, you may have to innovate iteravely. The capability to disintermediate intuitively leads to the power to productize iteravely. Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? In one step? Think super-robust. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that if you whiteboard nano-transparently then you may also harness robustly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and AJAX. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and SVG. The TQC factor is cutting-edge. The power to brand cyber-intuitively leads to the ability to extend dynamically. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Your-Company is the industry leader of compelling markets. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be virally-distributed? Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for monitoring new partnerships? Without angel investors, you will lack niches. Without sufficient mega-compelling extensible bandwidth, sexy media sourcing are forced to become enterprise. Without preplanned experiences, eyeballs are forced to become B2B2C, enterprise. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to facilitate. Think wireless. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to unleash strategically. Think ultra-scalable. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for managing new infrastructures? We understand that if you unleash globally then you may also exploit intuitively. Your-Company practically invented the term "CAD". What does the term "bleeding-edge, open-source obfuscation" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and RDF. Without obfuscation, you will lack networks. We will engineer the term "sticky". The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and SMIL. The mindshare factor is revolutionary. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for architecting. The power shifts factor is best-of-breed, infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for exploiting.