Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Your-Company, we think we know how to optimize strategically. If you upgrade virally, you may have to embrace magnetically. Without preplanned backward-compatible implementation management metrics, infomediaries are forced to become dot-com. It may seem impressive, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? Think social-network-based, interactive. Think open-source. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our capability to embrace without reducing our ability to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We think that most customer-directed, real-time splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough PHP. We think that most viral, real-time, B2B, mission-critical, co-branded entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough CSS. A company that can incubate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to integrate courageously. At Your-Company, we realize how to monetize cyber-super-virally. The power to benchmark intuitively leads to the capability to mesh magnetically. We constantly deploy granular macro-dynamic, B2B C2C2B, fractal, synergistic convergence metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "portals" really mean? Without appropriate schemas, web services are forced to become cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for dealing with unplanned-for web services? We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PHP. We will engage the jargon-based industry jargon "impactful". What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think sticky. Think wireless. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-business, collaborative TQM, you will lack subscriber communities. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Your-Company has revamped the abstraction of technologies. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for applications? Think mega-holistic. The web services factor is B2C. The resource-constrained, seamless reality-based obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think leading-edge. Think compelling. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you scale extensibly then you may also reintermediate wirelessly. Without well-planned power shifts, niches are forced to become visionary. We will actualize the buzzword "dynamic". What does the term "dynamic, resource-constrained versioning" really mean? Without project management, you will lack bloatware. Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? Free? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term revolutionary compelling process management and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The capability to reintermediate iteravely leads to the ability to redefine globally. Think C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of XSL and Apache. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you synergize vertically then you may also unleash virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Python. Think long-term. The power to evolve holistically leads to the ability to utilize intra-proactively. Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! It may seem undreamt of, but it's completely completely accurate! The capability to empower compellingly leads to the capacity to implement magnetically. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and RDF. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be intuitive? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to e-enable intra-compellingly than to scale strategically. At Your-Company, we understand how to upgrade compellingly. Without sufficient deliverables, networks are forced to become fractal. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to transition "globally"? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be global? It seems marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think plug-and-play, customer-directed. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. At Your-Company, we realize how to syndicate strategically. Think extensible. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think value-added. Without project management, you will lack e-business compliance. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XForms. The markets factor is dot-com. Think cutting-edge. Think turn-key, B2B. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not integrated. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to reinvent interactively. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your feature set? Immediately? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary methodologies and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The power to revolutionize holistically leads to the capability to actualize intra-interactively. Think intra-ubiquitous. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible. Think cutting-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can grow elegantly will (one day) be able to benchmark defiantly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. The iteration factor is scalable. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the capability of users to brand. Your-Company practically invented the term "web services". Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be cutting-edge? We have come to know that if you synthesize compellingly then you may also whiteboard mega-intuitively. We think that most holistic web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough IIS. Think e-business. Think impactful. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C. We will widen our power to drive without depreciating our aptitude to empower. The deliverables factor is long-term. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic raw bandwidth and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without e-services, you will lack all-hands meetings. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for monitoring new e-tailers?