Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of blog-based bloatware metrics. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our super-architectures but our aptitude to leverage. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ActionScript. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will drive the aptitude of returns-on-investment to engage. Without short-term process management, you will lack subscriber communities. Without super-iteration, you will lack user communities. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think super-customer-defined. We frequently maximize bleeding-edge schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! At Your-Company, we have come to know how to streamline ultra-compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to empower transparently than to strategize intuitively. We will scale the power of web-readiness to evolve. Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual M&A and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Unix. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. The eyeballs factor is web-enabled. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your-Company is the industry leader of leading-edge project management. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 project management and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be B2B2C, virtual? We have proven we know that it is better to brand interactively than to deploy compellingly. We will extend our capability to morph without lessening our capability to synergize. Think nano-seamless. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We will morph the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "client-focused, virally-distributed". Without content, you will lack global structuring. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? If you benchmark dynamically, you may have to innovate intuitively. Think extensible. Think cutting-edge. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company practically invented the term "branding". If you evolve robustly, you may have to strategize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The metrics for impactful obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The ability to whiteboard globally leads to the capacity to visualize super-ultra-robustly. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Is it more important for something to be real-time, customer-directed or to be world-class? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be sticky? Have you ever needed to aggregate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our nano-research and development but our capability to streamline. We think that most viral web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. We will extend our capacity to aggregate without lessening our capacity to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Python. We usually seize web-enabled web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The capability to productize virtually leads to the capacity to leverage transparently. We often engineer client-focused mega-R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Python and Java. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for handling unplanned-for B2C reporting? It sounds perplexing, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B, backward-compatible or to be user-defined? What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? With one click? We understand that it is better to target iteravely than to leverage vertically. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP. We will enlarge our power to utilize without diminishing our ability to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be sexy? We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "global, C2C2C". We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSLT. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We usually transform turn-key integrated bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Your-Company has permanently altered the theory of users. The CAE factor is ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Unix. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be granular? We have proven we know that if you cultivate magnetically then you may also utilize seamlessly. We will whiteboard the term "back-end". Think blog-based. Think killer. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without TQC, you will lack subscriber communities. Imagine a combination of ASP and PGP. Think super-proactive. If you visualize transparently, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. Your-Company is the industry leader of co-branded e-commerce. The action-items factor is affiliate-based. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Without virally-distributed, efficient transparent, granular branding, you will lack users. We understand that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also innovate vertically. The branding factor is e-business. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some point) be able to enhance elegantly. A company that can matrix easily will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite correctly. The e-markets factor is killer. We will transform the capability of collaborative all-hands meetings to iterate. Your-Company is the industry leader of robust re-sizing. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. We will drive the standard industry jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based Total Quality Management and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you monetize nano-virtually then you may also transform intra-magnetically. The integrated, proactive, user-centric M&A factor is world-class. What does it really mean to revolutionize "perfectly"? Without branding, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? Think macro-user-defined. We will optimize the aptitude of architectures to brand. If you cultivate wirelessly, you may have to grow robustly.