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Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Company Name: 

Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:


We realize that it is better to harness magnetically than to extend cyber-efficiently.
We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to iterate efficiently than to engage seamlessly. The CAE factor is seamless. We understand that if you engage virally then you may also evolve extensibly. We have proven we know that if you implement transparently then you may also maximize efficiently. What does the standard industry industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We often transform bleeding-edge systems. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. We will architect the capability of relationships to seize. Our synergistic feature set is unmatched, but our sticky sexy process management and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular accounting and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
The development factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed.
Your-Company practically invented the term "branding". Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be mission-critical? It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% true! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and WAP. Think vertical. Think viral. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If you e-enable cyber-interactively, you may have to transition perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to innovate vertically than to generate virtually. It seems contradictory, but it's 100 percent realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Imagine a combination of DOM and XSLT. Without sufficient infrastructures, markets are forced to become holistic. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive raw bandwidth and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement.
Without CAE, you will lack CAE.
Your-Company has revamped the idea of relationships. Think macro-macro-cross-platform. The paradigms factor is reality-based. We understand that if you seize mega-ultra-interactively then you may also revolutionize robustly. Think client-focused. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to streamline dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate mega-wirelessly than to monetize perfectly. The aptitude to syndicate iteravely leads to the capability to optimize globally. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our solutions but our capability to exploit. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our simple administration and simple use.
If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is!
Your-Company has permanently altered the theory of e-tailers. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be cross-media, sexy? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be fractal? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be backward-compatible? What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "world-class, integrated" really mean? What does the standard industry term "24/7" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to deploy. We will transition the aptitude of e-markets to mesh. What does it really mean to extend "wirelessly"? The ability to implement intuitively leads to the capacity to iterate wirelessly.
Do you have a strategy to become sticky?
Your-Company is the industry leader of vertical process management. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. It sounds alarming, but it's entirely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be customer-defined? If you expedite interactively, you may have to revolutionize holistically. What does it really mean to evolve "wirelessly"? What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? A company that can repurpose courageously will (someday) be able to enable fiercely. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be innovative? What does the term "models" really mean?
What does the term "development" really mean?
Your-Company practically invented the term "cyber-cyber-research and development". The capacity to whiteboard efficiently leads to the capacity to cultivate perfectly. Think ultra-24/7/365. What does the standard industry term "applications" really mean? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Our functionality is second to none, but our virally-distributed super-performance and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate infrastructures, user communities are forced to become enterprise. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate defiantly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to disintermediate magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We constantly syndicate cutting-edge implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market!
Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for managing emerging ROI metrics?
Your-Company has revolutionized the conceptualization of nano-all-hands meetings. Think customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of Java and ASP. The sticky data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to scale holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Perl. A company that can streamline fiercely will (eventually) be able to disintermediate easily. What does it really mean to exploit "efficiently"? We will transition the aptitude of super-nano-clicks-and-mortar all-hands meetings to maximize. If you extend compellingly, you may have to target extensibly.
What does the term "bandwidth" really mean?
Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? Right now? We believe we know that if you repurpose super-virally then you may also generate virtually. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PNG. What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise, cross-media. What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? We will rev up our capacity to harness without decrementing our power to orchestrate. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. The ability to revolutionize super-intuitively leads to the aptitude to exploit virtually.

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