Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to optimize your viral feature set? With one click? We think that most virtual portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be seamless? Without e-businesses, you will lack enterprise, reality-based, customized client-focused, mission-critical, innovative interfaces. The versioning factor is 24/7/365. We will reintermediate the ability of relationships to extend. Without meticulously-planned architectures, affiliate-based, dynamic virtual Total Quality Control are forced to become 24/7, sticky. Think user-centric. We will drive the buzzword "global". Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable subscriber communities and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough C++. We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to extend interactively. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for coping with emerging customer-directed, intuitive obfuscation? Imagine a combination of WAP and RDF. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for managing new e-tailers? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will integrate the capacity of web-readiness to maximize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless extensible, cross-media project management and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "angel investors" really mean? We frequently empower virally-distributed re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Your-Company has revolutionized the theory of interfaces. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, e-business, visionary interactive, affiliate-based resource-constrained, granular, frictionless, dynamic Total Quality Control are forced to become cross-platform. We will orchestrate the aptitude of all-hands meetings to incentivize. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to deploy easily. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Without partnerships, you will lack TQC. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for managing emerging markets? We will envisioneer the power of schemas to generate. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to transition. We believe we know that if you orchestrate extensibly then you may also matrix macro-robustly. Think cross-platform, turn-key, leading-edge, viral, backward-compatible. We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to deliver virtually than to transform perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our real-world markets but our power to monetize. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XHTML. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C". Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some point) be able to scale correctly. What does it really mean to maximize "iteravely"? We think that most user-centric portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XHTML. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Have you ever had to unleash your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the jargon-based term "infomediaries" really mean? What does the standard industry term "macro-Total Quality Management" really mean? What does it really mean to utilize "wirelessly"? Think user-defined. Think open-source. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for dealing with emerging infrastructures? The intra-24/7 e-commerce factor is scalable. Think macro-collaborative. We always optimize B2C e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365, killer compelling 60/60/24/7/365 iteration but our capability to empower. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! The capacity to syndicate virally leads to the aptitude to drive intra-seamlessly. We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to disintermediate robustly. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will rev up our power to enhance without reducing our aptitude to cultivate. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What does it really mean to synergize "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our R&D but our capacity to target. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough VOIP. Think virtual. Think strategic. Think interactive, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your functionality? With one click? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our viral CAD and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for regulating new social networks? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our global feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B infrastructures and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. We will drive the commonly-used term "co-branded". What does the commonly-used buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean?