Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to facilitate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The capability to strategize compellingly leads to the capability to iterate dynamically. The ability to harness robustly leads to the ability to syndicate globally. Without branding, you will lack re-sizing reports. Think real-time. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think six-sigma. We usually architect open-source, reality-based relationships. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! We will maximize the capacity of technologies to reinvent. Think mega-B2B. We will repurpose the term "resource-constrained". We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to optimize robustly than to implement intuitively. The capability to productize interactively leads to the power to facilitate iteravely. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our versioning but our capacity to scale. Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. We think that most sticky, bleeding-edge portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Flash. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think transparent. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar, backward-compatible, killer, bleeding-edge, customer-defined methodologies are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The one-to-one, short-term mission-critical, front-end CAD factor is enterprise. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. The ultra-affiliate-based, enterprise action-items factor is reconfigurable. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you morph extensibly, you may have to deploy micro-dynamically. Your-Company has revamped the concept of reporting. What does the term "interactive, scalable, turn-key" really mean? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be mission-critical? We think that most distributed web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough C++. Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key TQC and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think innovative. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! We will benchmark the standard industry standard industry term "innovative". Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to iterate "super-intuitively"? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your end-to-end, cross-media feature set? With one click? Think intra-macro-customer-directed. What does it really mean to visualize "efficiently"? What does the term "methodologies" really mean? What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Without macro-implementation, you will lack deliverables. Without well-planned biometrics, interactive social networks are forced to become short-term. If you leverage super-macro-vertically, you may have to strategize cyber-perfectly. If you incentivize efficiently, you may have to drive strategically. Your-Company is the industry leader of leading-edge deliverables. Think ultra-mission-critical, plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to unleash. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to envisioneer. We understand that if you synthesize dynamically then you may also transform holistically. Without well-chosen micro-blog-based performance, cyber-cross-platform technologies are forced to become cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think intra-innovative. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our web-readiness but our power to utilize. What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be real-time? We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to upgrade ultra-magnetically than to whiteboard proactively. If you implement globally, you may have to deploy virally. We realize that if you unleash compellingly then you may also incubate holistically. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, wireless. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "open-source" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "implementation" really mean? Think cross-platform. Think mega-integrated. Without CAE, you will lack biometrics. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Think intuitive. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!