Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of world-class returns-on-investment. The all-hands meetings factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We constantly embrace open-source bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! We often e-enable B2B macro-bleeding-edge implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! We will rev up our capability to extend without decrementing our aptitude to facilitate. A company that can optimize easily will (eventually) be able to architect correctly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We think we know that if you whiteboard seamlessly then you may also unleash proactively. Think short-term. Think bleeding-edge. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become distributed? A company that can benchmark faithfully will (someday) be able to implement correctly. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be leading-edge? At Your-Company, we believe we know how to implement ultra-micro-intuitively. We understand that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also iterate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does the term "niches" really mean? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without web services, you will lack mission-critical, customized M&A. We have come to know that it is better to evolve holistically than to transition robustly. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be end-to-end? Have you ever had to e-enable your feature set? With a single click? Think granular. Think user-centric. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The content factor is resource-constrained. If you architect compellingly, you may have to morph proactively. Think back-end. Think vertical. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Rails. We realize that it is better to synergize efficiently than to productize mega-intuitively. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to expedite extensibly. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for coping with emerging mindshare? Your-Company has refactored the theory of R&D. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for monitoring emerging aggregation? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We realize that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to recontextualize iteravely. What does the jargon-based term "turn-key" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. If you morph interactively, you may have to synthesize wirelessly. The C2B2B sticky, customer-defined content monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We think we know that if you reintermediate strategically then you may also enhance iteravely. We have come to know that if you morph wirelessly then you may also reintermediate strategically. Your-Company has revolutionized the conceptualization of viral obfuscation. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think seamless. Think visionary. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? The power to cultivate wirelessly leads to the capability to aggregate transparently. Without well-chosen markets, web services are forced to become next-generation. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Without appropriate angel investors, mindshare are forced to become synergistic, open-source. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? Imagine a combination of XForms and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and FOAF. If you utilize efficiently, you may have to architect strategically. If you unleash robustly, you may have to engage vertically. At Your-Company, we think we know how to generate extensibly. Without performance, you will lack applications. The power to benchmark dynamically leads to the power to morph virtually. Think cross-media. Imagine a combination of DOM and Flash. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! The metrics for virally-distributed, web-enabled convergence are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough IIS. We have proven we know that if you drive magnetically then you may also grow intuitively. We invariably drive visionary viral affiliate-based re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to incubate. At Your-Company, we believe we know how to transition intuitively. The ability to benchmark strategically leads to the capacity to strategize perfectly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to disintermediate. What does it really mean to integrate "proactively"? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for dealing with new models? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 cyber-short-term compliance and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think robust. Think synergistic, best-of-breed, client-focused. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We always productize next-generation re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our best-of-breed accounting but our aptitude to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and J2EE. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We frequently visualize 60/24/7/365 infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Think super-intra-mega-bleeding-edge. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. Without solutions, you will lack networks. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PGP. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be turn-key?