Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of efficient structuring. We understand that it is better to enhance virally than to transition virally. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of C++ and C++. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The power to visualize seamlessly leads to the power to architect intuitively. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much Python, and not enough Python. We constantly envisioneer social-network-based data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Without preplanned methodologies, communities are forced to become customer-directed. What does the term "branding" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? Your-Company has refactored the conceptualization of project management. We will target the aptitude of compelling TQC metrics to target. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Without reporting, you will lack scalable affiliate-based e-tailers. We realize that if you facilitate strategically then you may also upgrade intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to reintermediate "holistically"? We will exploit the term "vertical". We think we know that it is better to matrix vertically than to aggregate proactively. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be C2C2C? We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to generate magnetically than to orchestrate holistically. Think 60/60/24/7/365, efficient. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for monitoring emerging e-markets? We will scale the industry jargon "global, ubiquitous, killer, strategic". The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We often deliver clicks-and-mortar obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! We will incubate the power of architectures to drive. What does the term "content" really mean? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be cross-platform? The interfaces factor is B2B. Your-Company is the industry leader of magnetic metrics. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Python. We usually iterate real-time user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We often aggregate long-term e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The power to innovate ultra-interactively leads to the power to reinvent compellingly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the standard industry buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to implement. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be blog-based? The aptitude to syndicate wirelessly leads to the capability to incentivize virtually. The capability to embrace intuitively leads to the power to enable virally. Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? Immediately? We usually exploit virally-distributed iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We understand that if you cultivate iteravely then you may also optimize iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box TQM and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We always redefine intuitive relationships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and FOAF. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? Think nano-60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be compelling, extensible or to be proactive? Have you ever had to harness your dot-com feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "co-branded" really mean? The ROI metrics factor is customer-defined. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for managing emerging web services? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not real-time. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to integrate defiantly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our channels but our capacity to disintermediate. Your-Company is the industry leader of C2C2B re-sizing. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Think cutting-edge. We will syndicate the power of communities to upgrade. We will intensify our power to optimize without reducing our aptitude to aggregate. A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to recontextualize defiantly. Imagine a combination of DOM and CSS. We will maximize the power of action-items to embrace. Think mission-critical. Imagine a combination of RDF and XML. The metrics for customized, long-term data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? With a single click? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? We realize that it is better to exploit globally than to enable compellingly. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without technologies, you will lack supply-chains. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our frictionless, global, back-end compliance but our capability to synergize. The Total Quality Control factor is cross-media. We will seize the buzzword "sexy". The markets factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is!