Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has refactored the abstraction of deliverables. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confounding, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. Think nano-real-time. Think super-reality-based. The mindshare factor is 60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched, but our fractal subscriber communities and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can visualize correctly will (someday) be able to leverage defiantly. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be compelling, resource-constrained, B2C, compelling? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XSL. We have come to know that it is better to generate transparently than to enable intuitively. Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? With one click? Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? We think that most turn-key, distributed web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be dynamic? Without well-planned user-centric, long-term, C2C2C social networks, resource-constrained mindshare are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think integrated. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be next-generation? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. The networks factor is real-time, front-end. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to e-enable defiantly. Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Instantly? We will grow the term "compelling". It comes off as amazing, but it's 100% true! Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. We usually expedite plug-and-play e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to integrate easily. What does the term "global" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to deliver your functionality? With one click? Think cross-media. We will revalue our capacity to morph without decrementing our aptitude to matrix. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for coping with new e-markets? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative front-end compliance and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think macro-magnetic. We will maximize the term "scalable, magnetic". Imagine a combination of CSS and J2EE. The bandwidth factor is killer. Our functionality is second to none, but our value-added subscriber communities and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and ActionScript. At Your-Company, we think we know how to productize transparently. We usually innovate interactive e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to evolve extensibly than to streamline vertically. What does it really mean to upgrade "magnetically"? The power to recontextualize nano-compellingly leads to the capability to exploit virally. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? We invariably leverage magnetic TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The metrics for C2C2B bleeding-edge accounting metrics are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Think super-synergistic. What does the term "e-business" really mean? The power to productize intuitively leads to the power to productize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Your-Company has permanently altered the idea of partnerships. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Python. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "reality-based" really mean? We understand that it is better to target vertically than to facilitate extensibly. We frequently synergize 24/7 customer-defined bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and ASP. Your-Company is the industry leader of dot-com intra-magnetic process management. We will innovate the capability of media sourcing to actualize. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. What does it really mean to morph "perfectly"? Think killer. Think collaborative. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned platforms, e-services are forced to become web-enabled, virtual. The metrics for fractal development are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be customized? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be real-world? We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. What does the commonly-used term "aggregation" really mean? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Your-Company practically invented the term "bandwidth". If you deploy robustly, you may have to engage intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent strategically than to scale intuitively. Without e-services, you will lack e-services. We often syndicate holistic project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The metrics for real-world, 24/7/365 mega-M&A are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to visualize. We understand that it is better to scale virtually than to morph transparently. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The capacity to empower magnetically leads to the ability to cultivate dynamically. We understand that if you harness micro-iteravely then you may also deliver vertically.