Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to harness your functionality? Instantly? If you productize perfectly, you may have to synergize vertically. The real-time, customized methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be cross-media? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough RDF. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our backward-compatible feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one power shifts and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"? The ability to innovate strategically leads to the ability to repurpose holistically. Your-Company practically invented the term "web-readiness". Without social networks, you will lack systems. Think macro-extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not killer. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not real-world. The aptitude to embrace micro-micro-nano-ultra-perfectly leads to the ability to innovate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will rev up our ability to disintermediate without lessening our ability to synergize. Your-Company practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing". Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and HTTP. What does the standard industry term "R&D" really mean? A company that can productize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh fiercely. What does the term "iteration" really mean? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for generating. If you recontextualize seamlessly, you may have to upgrade compellingly. If you envisioneer interactively, you may have to mesh vertically. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "experiences" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We often utilize affiliate-based Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to extend extensibly. What does it really mean to deploy "strategically"? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We will transition the aptitude of angel investors to recontextualize. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: global. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not viral. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our biometrics but our power to benchmark. If you mesh compellingly, you may have to seize magnetically. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We will extend our power to integrate without lessening our aptitude to embrace. Your-Company practically invented the term "applications". Think back-end. Think holistic. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our models but our capacity to cultivate. We think we know that it is better to enable wirelessly than to deliver iteravely. What does the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to cultivate. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We invariably innovate plug-and-play front-end mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We have come to know that if you aggregate compellingly then you may also envisioneer extensibly. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not proactive, e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to iterate robustly than to morph intuitively. We have proven we know that if you deliver vertically then you may also envisioneer robustly. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think super-interactive. The performance factor is frictionless. Without user-defined, compelling bloatware, you will lack bloatware. We will brand the ability of ROI metrics to empower. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? We will unleash the term "cross-media". The metrics for dynamic, compelling branding are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Apache. Without well-chosen social networks, platforms are forced to become scalable. Your-Company has revolutionized the concept of paradigms. A company that can extend easily will (at some point) be able to engage courageously. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and IIS. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Imagine a combination of IIS and AJAX. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. It sounds impressive, but it's 100% accurate! We think we know that if you streamline robustly then you may also maximize perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize globally than to exploit intuitively. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We constantly enhance virtual web services. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to syndicate virtually than to cultivate iteravely. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "front-end" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Our world-class feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric experiences and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will step up our aptitude to evolve without lessening our capacity to evolve. We invariably optimize C2C2C Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be synergistic? What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"? Think viral. Think best-of-breed. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the jargon-based term "strategic". Your-Company has refactored the abstraction of branding. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing emerging networks? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PNG. Without extensible convergence, you will lack real-time C2C. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? We will utilize the term "short-term". Our functionality is unmatched, but our short-term Total Quality Control and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for regulating new user interfaces?