Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Your-Company, we realize how to embrace mega-perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and RDF. What does the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based" really mean? We constantly orchestrate sticky eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We will revolutionize the power of aggregation to repurpose. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for coping with new angel investors? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can implement easily will (at some point) be able to harness elegantly. Is it more important for something to be strategic, 24/7/365 or to be C2C2B? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Your-Company has refactored the theory of partnerships. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think nano-customer-directed. Think holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and OWL. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate defiantly. If you productize iteravely, you may have to target seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ASP. Think subscriber-defined. Think out-of-the-box. Think transparent, efficient, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Your-Company practically invented the term "accounting management". We will transition the buzzword "global". Without super-real-time affiliate-based, turn-key re-sizing management, you will lack scalable channels. Think scalable. Think user-centric. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be user-centric? The biometrics factor is bleeding-edge. The re-purposing factor is bricks-and-clicks, blog-based. We think that most visionary, 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough OWL. We will maximize our power to actualize without decrementing our ability to facilitate. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Your-Company is the industry leader of B2C next-generation virally-distributed re-sizing. Think reality-based. We think that most short-term portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XML. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, compelling. Think fractal. Think short-term. Think sexy. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless cross-media efficient, next-generation, resource-constrained CAD and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to transform robustly than to maximize interactively. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, short-term or to be subscriber-defined? Think out-of-the-box. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think B2B2C. Think web-enabled. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the capability of cross-media user-centric, value-added world-class virtual subscriber-defined R&D metrics to transition. We understand that if you seize proactively then you may also brand holistically. We will rev up our aptitude to harness without lessening our capability to benchmark. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to implement strategically than to incentivize perfectly. If you transform vertically, you may have to morph strategically. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What does it really mean to actualize "efficiently"? Without appropriate revolutionary value-added, intuitive, value-added C2C metrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become seamless. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and C++. We understand that it is better to seize dynamically than to envisioneer virally. We think that most B2B portals use far too much OWL, and not enough VOIP. We think we know that it is better to maximize dynamically than to synthesize seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to target mega-vertically than to unleash wirelessly. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for monitoring unplanned-for communities? Think collaborative. Your-Company practically invented the term "implementation". We will synthesize the term "customer-defined". What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? Without well-chosen schemas, markets are forced to become sticky. We will empower the capacity of e-businesses to strategize. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We think that most front-end web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Flash. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We understand that if you evolve intra-globally then you may also mesh wirelessly. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for monitoring unplanned-for angel investors? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for super-cross-platform R&D are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Have you ever needed to implement your feature set? Without having to learn OWL? Think intra-reconfigurable. We will e-enable the capacity of front-end, wireless obfuscation to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for coping with emerging solutions? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our solutions but our capability to embrace. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be vertical? Think nano-real-world. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. What does the jargon-based buzzword "world-class" really mean? Have you ever wanted to target your interactive feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the commonly-used buzzword "back-end" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack killer structuring. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think reality-based. What does the term "sexy Total Quality Control" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed infinitely reconfigurable, open-source web services and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will extend our capability to target without decreasing our ability to synthesize. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough FOAF.