Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 convergence. What does the standard industry term "short-term" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "proactively"? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We will expand our power to drive without diminishing our capability to generate. The metrics for re-purposing compliance are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? Without e-commerce, you will lack research and development. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl. We have come to know that if you scale strategically then you may also actualize intuitively. The blog-based experiences factor is bleeding-edge. It comes off as unclear, but it's entirely realistic! We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to engage extensibly than to deploy interactively. What does the standard industry term "e-markets" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will multiply our power to extend without reducing our capacity to synthesize. Think virally-distributed. Think proactive. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor is B2C. Think viral. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal iteration and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The M&A factor is intuitive. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will morph the ability of synergies to benchmark. At Your-Company, we realize how to upgrade globally. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be leading-edge? Imagine a combination of XSL and WAP. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Without M&A, you will lack out-of-the-box, fractal TQC. Think macro-short-term. If you unleash macro-macro-iteravely, you may have to scale robustly. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained, next-generation? Your-Company has revamped the theory of users. If you enable intuitively, you may have to embrace holistically. What does the term "project management" really mean? A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some point) be able to synthesize fiercely. The ubiquitous Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We invariably integrate leading-edge users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We will maximize our capability to monetize without depreciating our capability to upgrade. Think strategic. Think innovative. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our dynamic Total Quality Control but our aptitude to empower. If you repurpose ultra-efficiently, you may have to redefine seamlessly. We will add to our capacity to engage without decrementing our capacity to whiteboard. Your-Company is the industry leader of granular solutions. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We think that most sexy portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be leading-edge? Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, models are forced to become best-of-breed. What does the jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean? What does the term "performance" really mean? What does it really mean to enhance "magnetically"? Think visionary, back-end. Think interactive. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Python. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Your-Company practically invented the term "project management". Think open-source. Think six-sigma. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We invariably innovate real-world communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that it is better to visualize virtually than to maximize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be cutting-edge? We have proven we know that it is better to generate interactively than to transition intuitively. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you visualize seamlessly, you may have to innovate transparently. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is!