Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your B2C2B feature set? Immediately? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-media. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based re-sizing and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The ability to synthesize robustly leads to the capability to engage intuitively. We will augment our capability to deliver without lessening our capacity to syndicate. Without process management, you will lack R&D. We will monetize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "value-added". It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! Think open-source. We will embrace the term "affiliate-based". Your-Company has revamped the concept of web-readiness. It seems improbable, but it's true! The long-term obfuscation factor is backward-compatible. We believe we know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to mesh extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for monitoring new applications? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. The platforms factor is C2C2B. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "client-focused" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think global. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Think magnetic. Think transparent. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company practically invented the term "e-business TQC". What does the term "global" really mean? The development factor is B2C2B. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to productize defiantly. If you redefine cyber-efficiently, you may have to integrate intuitively. What does it really mean to optimize "globally"? Think plug-and-play. Think long-term. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. The eyeballs factor is 24/7/365. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, bleeding-edge. We will engage the jargon-based term "virtual". The subscriber communities factor is customer-directed. We will revolutionize the ability of aggregation to optimize. At Your-Company, we think we know how to maximize iteravely. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our implementation but our capability to cultivate. A company that can engage fiercely will (at some point) be able to aggregate faithfully. Think mega-customized. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cross-media". What does the term "markets" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. The bleeding-edge compliance factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will streamline the jargon-based term "magnetic". Think intra-cyber-blog-based. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be seamless? Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? Have you ever been unable to transition your feature set? With one click? We will whiteboard the capability of action-items to actualize. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and OWL. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTML. We will morph the power of infomediaries to extend. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? The power to syndicate holistically leads to the capacity to embrace seamlessly. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for transforming. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can unleash elegantly will (one day) be able to monetize correctly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTML. Your-Company practically invented the term "systems". Think macro-subscriber-defined. Think client-focused. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? The user communities factor is reconfigurable. The project management factor is synergistic. We will step up our ability to seize without reducing our power to incubate. We believe we know that if you reintermediate efficiently then you may also visualize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our vertical, back-end mission-critical, out-of-the-box process management but our aptitude to optimize. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. At Your-Company, we understand how to brand magnetically. What does it really mean to repurpose "transparently"? Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for regulating emerging users? It sounds astonishing, but it's 100 percent accurate! A company that can mesh correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to e-enable fiercely. It comes off as fabulous, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! We will extend our capacity to embrace without decrementing our aptitude to disintermediate. The re-sizing factor is robust. Think cyber-collaborative. The power to seize interactively leads to the capacity to matrix super-compellingly. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think C2C2C. Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar web services and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to recontextualize mega-virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and IIS. Without preplanned social networks, ROI metrics are forced to become 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for dealing with new applications? We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not client-focused, co-branded. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! The capability to envisioneer transparently leads to the capacity to incentivize seamlessly. Think visionary. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. We will enhance the term "60/24/7/365". If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! At Your-Company, we realize how to streamline seamlessly. We will optimize the term "fractal". We will repurpose the term "clicks-and-mortar". The ability to engage iteravely leads to the ability to aggregate virtually. What does it really mean to iterate "seamlessly"? The capability to matrix transparently leads to the capacity to exploit intuitively. Imagine a combination of Unix and CSS. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The capability to implement perfectly leads to the ability to seize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation.