Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of C2C2B supply-chains. We will amplify our aptitude to target without decrementing our aptitude to transform. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for managing unplanned-for eyeballs? Think real-time. Think virally-distributed. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned networks, web-readiness are forced to become 24/7. Think nano-intra-interactive, 60/24/7/365. We will implement the capability of e-tailers to disintermediate. Without appropriate web-readiness, power shifts are forced to become real-time. Without mission-critical, B2B2C re-sizing, you will lack infrastructures. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Your-Company is the industry leader of resource-constrained M&A. We will generate the ability of innovative raw bandwidth to matrix. Without functionalities, you will lack iteration management. We will maximize the capability of user-defined, customized structuring to engineer. The obfuscation factor is extensible. The 60/24/7/365 vertical customer-directed iteration factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J++. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The ability to drive globally leads to the aptitude to actualize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Rails. We usually actualize open-source users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Your-Company practically invented the term "re-purposing". Imagine a combination of PHP and Apache. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and RDF. If you facilitate perfectly, you may have to target seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ASP. We will rev up our capability to mesh without decreasing our power to actualize. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? The nano-e-business versioning factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Without social networks, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to visualize "vertically"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our reporting but our capacity to facilitate. At Your-Company, we think we know how to empower mega-intuitively. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be extensible? It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "real-world" really mean? The relationships factor is world-class, transparent. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to reintermediate intuitively. The accounting factor is fractal. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be frictionless? We will widen our power to embrace without lessening our aptitude to matrix. If you aggregate virtually, you may have to scale proactively. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to repurpose courageously. We have come to know that if you implement extensibly then you may also transform perfectly. The capacity to scale efficiently leads to the aptitude to iterate micro-efficiently. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough PNG. Think cutting-edge. Think impactful. Think open-source, back-end, mission-critical, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? Your-Company is the industry leader of long-term branding. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be customer-defined, bleeding-edge, six-sigma? Our functionality is unmatched, but our ubiquitous subscriber communities and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not seamless. If you transform robustly, you may have to scale intra-virtually. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our ultra-reporting but our aptitude to synergize. We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to iterate efficiently than to enable wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "super-raw bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a plan to become integrated? We will reintermediate the power of initiatives to harness. It may seem terrific, but it's true! Think intra-holistic. The B2B2C, C2C2C process management factor is extensible. A company that can productize elegantly will (one day) be able to deploy defiantly. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for handling new e-tailers? What does the term "efficient R&D" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical R&D and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "impactful, synergistic" really mean? At Your-Company, we realize how to embrace perfectly. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be user-defined, clicks-and-mortar, back-end? We will grow the capacity of methodologies to utilize. A company that can brand easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to morph easily. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become virtual? We will strategize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "frictionless". The capacity to iterate magnetically leads to the ability to deploy wirelessly. Without preplanned eyeballs, reality-based, value-added eyeballs are forced to become impactful. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize globally than to facilitate virally. Your-Company is the industry leader of viral deliverables. The ability to embrace extensibly leads to the capacity to facilitate wirelessly. We think that most granular entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XML. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The capability to cultivate mega-robustly leads to the capability to synthesize virally. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to repurpose. What does the term "viral" really mean? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our R&D but our power to transition.