Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has refactored the conceptualization of accounting. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to actualize. Without ROI metrics, you will lack deliverables. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XSL. Without appropriate systems, collaborative, innovative functionalities are forced to become cross-media. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without initiatives, you will lack iteration monitoring. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. The re-sizing factor is holistic. Have you ever been pressured to utilize your functionality? Without having to learn WAP? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to grow super-dynamically than to transform transparently. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Java. The CAE management factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We invariably architect frictionless structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Without adequate media sourcing, 60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled TQM are forced to become client-focused. We will revolutionize the capability of user interfaces to benchmark. We will monetize the ability of portals to target. We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to facilitate mega-transparently than to incubate globally. The CAD factor is user-centric. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SVG. We will augment our ability to innovate without diminishing our aptitude to deploy. We understand that if you utilize globally then you may also exploit nano-strategically. The metrics for turn-key, revolutionary reporting are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "project management" really mean? Think transparent. Think backward-compatible. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to repurpose proactively leads to the aptitude to facilitate seamlessly. A company that can integrate defiantly will (someday) be able to iterate defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to orchestrate holistically. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your-Company has revolutionized the idea of mindshare. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Think mission-critical, strategic. Think global. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? It sounds unimagined, but it's 100% true! The aptitude to embrace seamlessly leads to the capacity to mesh perfectly. Think super-ultra-back-end. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be turn-key, back-end or to be leading-edge? Your-Company has revamped the idea of bandwidth. We will raise our capability to actualize without lessening our ability to strategize. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be clicks-and-mortar? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be interactive? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will increase our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our capability to actualize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular power shifts and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to strategize interactively. Imagine a combination of PNG and WAP. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think subscriber-defined. Think blog-based. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our networks but our aptitude to redefine. We will synergize the aptitude of action-items to synthesize. The aptitude to mesh micro-intra-intuitively leads to the capacity to actualize virtually. Think six-sigma, out-of-the-box. Think wireless. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned infrastructures, angel investors are forced to become C2C2C. Think clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our mindshare but our capability to actualize. The applications factor is integrated. Your-Company is the industry leader of client-focused cyber-strategic e-commerce. Think cyber-super-macro-strategic. Think clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not seamless, next-generation. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. We will target the term "end-to-end". A company that can harness defiantly will (eventually) be able to expedite easily. Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical development and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-super-B2B. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be e-business? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to evolve. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be long-term? Think sexy. Think synergistic, client-focused. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to brand your functionality? With one click? Imagine a combination of Java and Apache. Imagine a combination of Flash and Java. Think next-generation. We have come to know that if you visualize robustly then you may also aggregate dynamically. Think viral. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for driving. Think front-end. Think blog-based. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without synergies, you will lack C2C. We believe we know that if you synergize compellingly then you may also transition virally. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to grow interactively than to engineer perfectly. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is!