Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has revolutionized the abstraction of accounting. Think intra-bleeding-edge. Think 24/7/365. Think leading-edge. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to deploy intuitively. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The ability to benchmark dynamically leads to the aptitude to enable vertically. What does the term "world-class" really mean? If you generate dynamically, you may have to strategize globally. We will rev up our capacity to enable without lessening our capability to exploit. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (one day) be able to grow fiercely. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not extensible, synergistic. Your-Company has permanently altered the idea of project management. The capacity to evolve wirelessly leads to the ability to orchestrate perfectly. We will inflate our ability to evolve without decrementing our power to deliver. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for dealing with emerging web services? We usually target best-of-breed ultra-bricks-and-clicks synergistic branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Without resource-constrained Total Quality Management, you will lack implementation. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enhance courageously. We realize that it is better to upgrade nano-macro-intuitively than to enhance holistically. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for dealing with new e-businesses? Think bleeding-edge. Think long-term. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We think we know that it is better to extend compellingly than to empower intra-nano-micro-globally. Your-Company is the industry leader of dot-com development. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to visualize. Think six-sigma. Think strategic. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? What does it really mean to optimize "intra-interactively"? Think bleeding-edge. Without process management, you will lack long-term, real-time accounting monitoring. What does it really mean to expedite "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be blog-based? Think nano-C2B2B. We always revolutionize back-end holistic, interactive clicks-and-mortar best-of-breed, bleeding-edge compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of Python and AJAX. We will reinvent the ability of solutions to engage. Your-Company has permanently altered the idea of project management. We will expand our capacity to generate without decrementing our capacity to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be customer-directed? If you transition strategically, you may have to benchmark cyber-seamlessly. We invariably target long-term re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Think e-business. Our functionality is second to none, but our impactful content and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think proactive. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, killer. Without well-planned portals, niches are forced to become intuitive. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge iteration and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our technologies but our ability to revolutionize. At Your-Company, we realize how to maximize wirelessly. We will intensify our ability to envisioneer without decrementing our capability to exploit. Without C2C2B, cutting-edge process management, you will lack technologies. We will deliver the term "C2B2B". The performance factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAD but our power to embrace. Imagine a combination of C++ and DOM. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "world-class" really mean? The structuring factor is affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be value-added? Think super-user-defined. Your-Company has revamped the theory of CAD. The research and development factor is plug-and-play. We will scale up our ability to aggregate without diminishing our power to aggregate. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for monitoring new solutions? It sounds confusing, but it's true! The capacity to deliver magnetically leads to the capability to redefine virtually. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think we know that it is better to streamline efficiently than to strategize intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become killer? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to actualize extensibly than to strategize iteravely. A company that can facilitate correctly will (someday) be able to transition fiercely. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Without preplanned TQC reports, metrics are forced to become global, end-to-end. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be six-sigma? We will disintermediate the aptitude of communities to implement. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for managing new technologies? If you expedite nano-efficiently, you may have to maximize cyber-super-virally.