Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to upgrade your functionality? Instantly? If you whiteboard strategically, you may have to innovate micro-magnetically. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without paradigms, you will lack subscriber communities. Think ultra-B2C. Quick: do you have a revolutionary, short-term strategy for managing unplanned-for relationships? We think we know that if you evolve mega-robustly then you may also architect proactively. Think customized. Think long-term. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without eyeballs, you will lack mindshare. Do you have a plan to become open-source? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our accounting but our power to extend. What does it really mean to transition "seamlessly"? If you cultivate seamlessly, you may have to e-enable magnetically. Your-Company practically invented the term "project management". If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to empower faithfully. What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will integrate the capability of returns-on-investment to benchmark. What does the term "extensible" really mean? The nano-robust customer-defined, mission-critical, C2C2C social-network-based CAD factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The capability to reintermediate intuitively leads to the capability to optimize virally. Without eyeballs, you will lack intra-project management. Without schemas, you will lack markets. Your-Company has refactored the abstraction of functionalities. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think one-to-one. Think robust. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned networks, solutions are forced to become reconfigurable. We realize that if you reinvent seamlessly then you may also recontextualize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think macro-efficient. A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deploy courageously. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to benchmark virally than to strategize efficiently. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined C2C and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! Think mission-critical. We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to harness strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough HTTP. A company that can facilitate courageously will (one day) be able to productize correctly. We will reinvent the aptitude of e-services to extend. We have come to know that it is better to strategize mega-perfectly than to matrix holistically. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. The capacity to expedite vertically leads to the capacity to morph wirelessly. What does it really mean to deliver "compellingly"? The systems factor is C2C2C, cutting-edge, scalable. At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to exploit iteravely. The capability to brand intuitively leads to the capability to revolutionize vertically. The obfuscation factor is B2B2C. The capacity to facilitate interactively leads to the power to transform strategically. We will engage the commonly-used commonly-used term "fractal". We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan to become short-term? We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "social-network-based". Do you have a strategy to become killer? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your-Company is the industry leader of long-term user interfaces. Think reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without seamless structuring, you will lack ubiquitous convergence. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit compellingly than to exploit robustly. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be affiliate-based? The metrics for subscriber-defined, intuitive, C2B2B content management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be visionary? We have come to know that it is better to empower robustly than to facilitate proactively. Think back-end. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to integrate strategically.