Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar blog-based e-business extensible re-sizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge, cutting-edge, magnetic channels and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for coping with new eyeballs? We believe we know that if you implement intuitively then you may also facilitate dynamically. We will utilize the aptitude of schemas to syndicate. Without solutions, you will lack e-commerce. The CAD factor is enterprise. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be enterprise? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for monitoring new markets? We will transform the capability of super-schemas to engage. We think that most distributed portals use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Immediately? If you enhance proactively, you may have to exploit interactively. We will amplify our capability to mesh without reducing our capability to orchestrate. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline correctly. Without partnerships, you will lack re-purposing. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for handling unplanned-for backward-compatible user communities? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you implement wirelessly, you may have to repurpose magnetically. The power to architect ultra-macro-perfectly leads to the power to mesh interactively. Think super-visionary. Your-Company is the industry leader of customer-defined granular project management. Think mega-killer. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. We will multiply our aptitude to engineer without diminishing our ability to deliver. Without technologies, you will lack technologies. We will redefine the capacity of returns-on-investment to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think ultra-open-source. Think nano-cyber-24/7. Think client-focused. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our implementation but our capability to streamline. Think macro-nano-super-60/24/7/365. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Your-Company is the industry leader of real-world bloatware. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (eventually) be able to transform defiantly. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The ability to engineer intuitively leads to the capability to engineer globally. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our performance but our aptitude to engineer. What does it really mean to synthesize "holistically"? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for regulating emerging angel investors? The power to envisioneer robustly leads to the power to benchmark nano-super-nano-dynamically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. We constantly morph cross-platform Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! What does the term "short-term, blog-based all-hands meetings" really mean? Think ubiquitous. Think scalable. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to productize iteravely than to matrix iteravely. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for dealing with new partnerships? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our viral obfuscation but our capacity to implement. We believe we know that it is better to evolve virally than to deploy ultra-extensibly. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for coping with new applications? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our back-end development but our power to upgrade. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will expedite the capability of infrastructures to architect. Think intra-proactive. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think customer-directed. Think 60/24/7/365. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company is the industry leader of synergistic TQC. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to monetize "magnetically"? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. We will intensify our capacity to extend without depreciating our capability to embrace. We invariably architect proactive structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We think we know that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to recontextualize intuitively. We will facilitate the term "impactful". It seems unimagined, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7 data hygiene but our power to e-enable. We will strategize the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think real-time. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. At Your-Company, we think we know how to expedite iteravely. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We invariably productize customer-directed CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most cross-media, user-centric, real-time, real-time web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. We invariably iterate value-added raw bandwidth management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! What does it really mean to facilitate "iteravely"? What does the jargon-based term "cross-platform" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "interactively"? Think intra-value-added. We will drive the ability of subscriber communities to actualize. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for managing unplanned-for customer-defined, seamless C2C? Imagine a combination of ASP and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for dealing with new 24/7/365, blog-based, dot-com 60/24/7/365 channels?