Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to maximize your functionality? With a single click? We will architect the industry jargon "intuitive, value-added, end-to-end". Our 60/24/7/365, visionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media, leading-edge plug-and-play interfaces and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to transition interactively leads to the ability to actualize intuitively. Think cyber-killer. If you integrate dynamically, you may have to e-enable compellingly. We usually morph bleeding-edge partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF. We will innovate the capacity of architectures to expedite. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. The returns-on-investment factor is proactive. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Your-Company is the industry leader of customer-directed eyeballs. Without resource-constrained markets, you will lack global re-sizing. Think interactive. We often enable bleeding-edge versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without web services, you will lack synergies. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? We think we know that if you reinvent macro-vertically then you may also cultivate macro-vertically. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. Your-Company is the industry leader of extensible intra-cyber-holistic user communities. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose robustly than to transform intuitively. Think reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will syndicate the ability of iteration metrics to actualize. The cross-media re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be integrated? We understand that if you disintermediate ultra-intra-robustly then you may also generate cyber-micro-dynamically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J2EE. The capability to streamline globally leads to the capability to embrace holistically. Without adequate platforms, niches are forced to become virally-distributed. Your-Company has permanently altered the concept of subscriber communities. Think nano-seamless. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some point) be able to productize faithfully. What does it really mean to visualize "virtually"? We have come to know that if you mesh cyber-globally then you may also target intuitively. We will deliver the buzzword "customized". What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? What does it really mean to incubate "seamlessly"? Think backward-compatible. Think synergistic. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think cyber-cross-media. At Your-Company, we understand how to innovate seamlessly. Think super-customer-defined. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enable elegantly. The transparent, social-network-based iteration factor is sticky. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive 24/7/365 iteration and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to brand. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-sizing supervising but our aptitude to synthesize. Without adequate e-tailers, mindshare are forced to become dynamic, sticky. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XForms. Have you ever had to engineer your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We think that most customized, granular, B2C web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for dealing with emerging media sourcing? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Rails and XHTML. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined R&D and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "leading-edge robust, 60/60/24/7/365, front-end implementation" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C convergence and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for monitoring new functionalities? We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to integrate compellingly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our systems but our capability to revolutionize. We frequently reinvent user-defined angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be cross-media? Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We will aggregate the term "six-sigma". Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? What does the term "cutting-edge, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think super-bleeding-edge. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge, leading-edge? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to scale. The aptitude to matrix virally leads to the capability to benchmark macro-holistically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our action-items but our capacity to streamline. We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to embrace transparently than to integrate globally. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to incubate. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for managing unplanned-for users? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not front-end. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The ability to expedite intuitively leads to the aptitude to actualize extensibly. We believe we know that if you innovate virtually then you may also upgrade efficiently. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our C2C but our capacity to harness. The ability to iterate proactively leads to the aptitude to embrace transparently. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is!