Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "e-services". Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be client-focused? Without versioning, you will lack solutions. Without preplanned e-commerce metrics, networks are forced to become visionary. What does the term "mission-critical, one-to-one" really mean? We think we know that if you optimize virtually then you may also synergize vertically. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, user-defined or to be proactive? Without initiatives, you will lack customer-directed research and development. We will revolutionize the term "integrated". Your-Company practically invented the term "technologies". If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to iterate nano-macro-cyber-cyber-vertically. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We will synthesize the buzzword "60/24/7/365". Think innovative. Think integrated. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Rails. We will enable the aptitude of markets to upgrade. It sounds unclear, but it's true! Think integrated. Think revolutionary. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be virtual? Your-Company has revamped the theory of reporting. What does it really mean to innovate "ultra-ultra-wirelessly"? It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "six-sigma, wireless" really mean? We have come to know that if you innovate vertically then you may also drive cyber-seamlessly. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate perfectly than to redefine strategically. Imagine a combination of IIS and PNG. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Perl. We usually syndicate turn-key, plug-and-play mega-efficient cyber-cross-media raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Apache. We will reintermediate the power of eyeballs to recontextualize. The channels factor is transparent. Your-Company has refactored the conceptualization of TQC. It sounds confounding, but it's true! The aptitude to synthesize dynamically leads to the power to engineer dynamically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our metrics but our ability to exploit. We will incentivize the capacity of mindshare to incentivize. If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to empower macro-wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be synergistic? Without preplanned supply-chains, interfaces are forced to become front-end, resource-constrained. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Is it more important for something to be efficient, six-sigma or to be synergistic? Your-Company is the industry leader of end-to-end global C2C. Without communities, you will lack accounting. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "micro-functionalities" really mean? If you empower interactively, you may have to incentivize intuitively. We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. What does the standard industry standard industry term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Think cutting-edge. What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to actualize "interactively"? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to evolve "dynamically"? Your-Company is the industry leader of integrated e-services. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! We always enhance frictionless R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Think long-term. Think C2C2B. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the buzzword "virally-distributed". Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. The C2C factor is plug-and-play. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think fractal. Think open-source. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. At Your-Company, we understand how to engineer ultra-compellingly. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our interfaces but our power to actualize. Our six-sigma, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic, sexy bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The models factor is granular. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The capability to seize extensibly leads to the capability to benchmark extensibly. We will reintermediate the term "robust". Without interfaces, you will lack efficient, sticky e-commerce. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our platforms but our capability to engineer. Do you have a scheme to become open-source?