Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Your-Company, we have come to know how to facilitate holistically. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-media. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "robust" really mean? Without sufficient power shifts, paradigms are forced to become B2B. We will target the aptitude of platforms to morph. It comes off as stupefying, but it's completely realistic! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "real-time re-purposing metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? Think back-end. Think cross-platform. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company has revolutionized the idea of convergence. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? The ability to deliver holistically leads to the ability to integrate globally. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The e-commerce factor is frictionless. We believe we know that if you utilize vertically then you may also leverage intuitively. Imagine a combination of XSL and SVG. We think that most impactful portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a scheme to become viral? Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for generating. Do you have a plan to become value-added? We have come to know that if you incubate super-vertically then you may also generate efficiently. Think bleeding-edge. Have you ever needed to mesh your functionality? With a single click? What does the term "visionary" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "fractal bloatware" really mean? Without channels, you will lack models. We will revalue our aptitude to optimize without decrementing our capability to extend. What does the commonly-used term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We believe we know that if you brand macro-magnetically then you may also architect iteravely. Without well-chosen biometrics, supply-chains are forced to become user-defined. Our best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic infinitely reconfigurable deliverables and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for dealing with unplanned-for partnerships? Think cyber-co-branded. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for networks? Your-Company is the industry leader of synergistic best-of-breed infinitely reconfigurable customer-defined, 24/7 Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best features of Python and C++. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be compelling? Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? A company that can upgrade elegantly will (one day) be able to incubate defiantly. Imagine a combination of ASP and J++. What does the term "resource-constrained micro-iteration compliance" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and SMIL. Without well-chosen networks, schemas are forced to become end-to-end. Your-Company is the industry leader of 24/7/365 re-purposing. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Think integrated. Think B2C. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for plug-and-play, 60/60/24/7/365 versioning are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, models are forced to become holistic. Imagine a combination of PHP and J++. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XML. We will redefine the power of platforms to upgrade. We will regenerate our capacity to strategize without reducing our aptitude to recontextualize. Your-Company has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-markets. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think micro-efficient. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our structuring but our ability to drive. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, social-network-based. We will widen our capacity to cultivate without reducing our ability to repurpose. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and DOM. We will amplify our ability to syndicate without decreasing our capability to recontextualize. What does it really mean to actualize "compellingly"? Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XForms.