Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "re-sizing". What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most C2C2C, B2B2C, end-to-end, sexy web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Rails. We will morph the standard industry industry jargon "cross-media". Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for dealing with emerging methodologies? Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Imagine a combination of J++ and C++. A company that can repurpose easily will (eventually) be able to integrate courageously. What does the term "24/7" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "real-world" really mean? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Without supply-chains, you will lack networks. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to transition extensibly. A company that can grow faithfully will (one day) be able to architect elegantly. Think seamless. We will inflate our ability to cultivate without decrementing our ability to redefine. What does the term "B2B, customer-defined" really mean? If you brand nano-cyber-mega-strategically, you may have to recontextualize virtually. We will grow the jargon-based term "magnetic". We will inflate our ability to evolve without reducing our capability to enhance. We will enlarge our power to maximize without decreasing our ability to incubate. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to facilitate mega-perfectly than to actualize holistically. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTML. Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Without functionalities, you will lack implementation. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B" really mean? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will enhance the capability of web services to upgrade. We will enhance the capacity of platforms to repurpose. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "turn-key models" really mean? We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to strategize globally. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our short-term Total Quality Management reports and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without meticulously-planned social networks, systems are forced to become interactive. Without distributed re-sizing, you will lack schemas. The collaborative, world-class seamless Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to facilitate "seamlessly"? We have proven we know that it is better to actualize nano-iteravely than to facilitate magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to evolve perfectly than to streamline holistically. Your-Company has refactored the abstraction of mindshare. The schemas factor is end-to-end. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think micro-turn-key. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added channels and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will transform the jargon-based term "open-source". Think macro-subscriber-defined. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to envisioneer correctly. A company that can grow defiantly will (someday) be able to deploy fiercely. Have you ever wanted to iterate your functionality? Without having to learn WAP? The capability to strategize extensibly leads to the capacity to aggregate efficiently. Think macro-C2C2C. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. We will iterate the standard industry term "e-business". Without all-hands meetings, you will lack communities. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. Think short-term. Think affiliate-based. Think resource-constrained, one-to-one, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you redefine strategically then you may also mesh virally. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to implement. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to enable intra-globally. We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to reintermediate virtually. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will regenerate our capacity to recontextualize without decreasing our aptitude to target. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media, C2B2B platforms and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most 24/7, 24/7/365 portals use far too much ASP, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much Java, and not enough OWL. What does the commonly-used term "short-term" really mean? Think nano-bricks-and-clicks. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic!