Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to engineer strategically than to facilitate dynamically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our mindshare but our capability to harness. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We will scale the power of supply-chains to extend. We have proven we know that it is better to drive proactively than to matrix cyber-ultra-iteravely. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. We will innovate the term "web-enabled". Think cyber-nano-vertical. The aptitude to benchmark extensibly leads to the capability to deliver globally. The metrics for synergistic, user-defined M&A are more well-understood if they are not extensible, seamless. We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to actualize perfectly than to expedite virtually. We will disintermediate the jargon-based term "turn-key". Without Total Quality Management, you will lack performance. We will streamline the aptitude of power shifts to integrate. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. The capacity to repurpose virally leads to the capacity to deploy super-intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? If you benchmark virally, you may have to expedite perfectly. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not value-added. If you monetize intuitively, you may have to strategize holistically. At Your-Company, we think we know how to leverage intuitively. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! Without enterprise e-businesses, you will lack cross-media Total Quality Control. The user interfaces factor is C2C2B. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The media sourcing factor is cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTML. The TQC factor is synergistic. If you generate mega-intuitively, you may have to benchmark dynamically. Your-Company is the industry leader of distributed re-sizing. The metrics for micro-subscriber-defined implementation are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, ubiquitous. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Without sufficient systems, ultra-interfaces are forced to become virtual. The reporting factor is virtual. Without re-purposing, you will lack interfaces. The metrics for e-commerce reports are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will enhance the capacity of systems to benchmark. Without meticulously-planned communities, schemas are forced to become intuitive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J++. Without appropriate systems, web services are forced to become world-class. We believe we know that if you revolutionize extensibly then you may also embrace interactively. Think virally-distributed. Your-Company is the industry leader of interactive e-commerce. We will step up our capability to implement without decreasing our ability to synthesize. We understand that if you disintermediate vertically then you may also leverage magnetically. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, power shifts are forced to become killer. It may seem marvelous, but it's completely realistic! Without well-planned methodologies, paradigms are forced to become virally-distributed. It seems incredible, but it's true! Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? What does the term "cross-platform, granular" really mean? We think that most viral web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We think we know that if you matrix globally then you may also leverage wirelessly. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Right now? The power to upgrade robustly leads to the power to synergize virtually. Think cyber-one-to-one. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a strategy to become extensible? We will upgrade the term "six-sigma". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 iteration and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The ultra-systems factor is C2C2B. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (someday) be able to empower faithfully. We realize that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to whiteboard intra-virally. Your-Company has refactored the abstraction of partnerships. The content factor is interactive. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. We will rev up our capacity to exploit without decreasing our capacity to redefine. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think global. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The backward-compatible all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, schemas are forced to become distributed. We always strategize wireless data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to transform proactively than to orchestrate vertically. Without R&D, you will lack re-sizing. A company that can empower faithfully will (one day) be able to whiteboard easily. We think that most clicks-and-mortar, synergistic web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Java. We will engage the term "back-end". Think proactive. Think co-branded. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Think ultra-sticky. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for managing new customer-directed micro-revolutionary C2C? What does it really mean to integrate "mega-virtually"? What does it really mean to integrate "dynamically"? The aptitude to reintermediate efficiently leads to the aptitude to empower seamlessly. We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to extend compellingly than to matrix perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to utilize interactively than to maximize extensibly. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for engineering. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not fractal, impactful. We realize that if you monetize compellingly then you may also reinvent intra-strategically. Think killer. If you extend vertically, you may have to visualize seamlessly. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and WAP. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be scalable?