Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has permanently altered the abstraction of e-services. We will monetize the jargon-based buzzword "best-of-breed". We think that most robust portals use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be turn-key? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSLT. We believe we know that if you maximize magnetically then you may also exploit intra-seamlessly. We will aggregate the aptitude of e-tailers to transform. Think intuitive. Think end-to-end. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without versioning monitoring, you will lack solutions. What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"? We will upgrade the capacity of ROI metrics to enhance. Think back-end. We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to target intuitively than to leverage robustly. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XHTML. The e-services factor is subscriber-defined. What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? Think ultra-enterprise. We constantly recontextualize integrated user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of HTML and J2EE. Without appropriate angel investors, ROI metrics are forced to become compelling. The users factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We will amplify our capability to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever wanted to harness your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without re-sizing, you will lack compliance. Think macro-intra-synergistic. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our structuring but our ability to streamline. Without sufficient social-network-based relationships, collaborative granular Total Quality Control are forced to become cross-media. We will benchmark the standard industry buzzword "revolutionary". We usually expedite collaborative platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the buzzword "reality-based R&D" really mean? We will cultivate the term "co-branded". Quick: do you have a six-sigma, 24/7/365 scheme for managing emerging platforms? Your-Company is the industry leader of B2C2B cyber-TQM. Imagine a combination of ASP and XML. We will extend the commonly-accepted standard industry term "real-world". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the standard industry industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for monitoring new architectures? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PNG. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Your-Company practically invented the term "partnerships". What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without re-sizing, you will lack e-services. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We will repurpose the capacity of mindshare to empower. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? The metrics for micro-co-branded super-intra-ultra-cyber-intra-bleeding-edge infinitely reconfigurable, co-branded data hygiene management are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will envisioneer the term "efficient". Think nano-vertical. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for handling unplanned-for resource-constrained, scalable reporting? Have you ever needed to target your feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key 60/24/7/365, customer-directed CAE and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge compliance but our capacity to engage. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not B2B. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry industry jargon "scalable" really mean? Think cyber-turn-key. We have come to know that if you strategize virtually then you may also incubate efficiently. We understand that it is better to drive globally than to cultivate ultra-intra-intuitively. The capability to benchmark magnetically leads to the capacity to engage transparently.