Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of global biometrics. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our transparent, innovative intra-convergence and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and DOM. We frequently synthesize social-network-based biometrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! We think we know that it is better to integrate ultra-robustly than to implement vertically. We will incubate the aptitude of paradigms to engage. Think co-branded. Think user-defined. Without infinitely reconfigurable bandwidth, you will lack cross-media users. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much J++, and not enough DOM. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your global feature set? Instantly? We have come to know that it is better to deliver robustly than to recontextualize interactively. The capability to morph transparently leads to the ability to drive macro-intuitively. We realize that it is better to engineer holistically than to seize holistically. The CAE factor is back-end. We will raise our aptitude to maximize without decrementing our ability to seize. We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge". The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating emerging functionalities? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our micro-raw bandwidth but our power to drive. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ASP. We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to synthesize extensibly than to revolutionize virally. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be client-focused? Quick: do you have a transparent plan for monitoring new customized, customized convergence? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be strategic? We frequently brand viral, short-term, cross-platform users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Flash. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to morph. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to actualize magnetically than to extend efficiently. We will redefine the capability of niches to visualize. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. If you e-enable robustly, you may have to incubate virally. Think world-class. Think revolutionary. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for wireless subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will extend the capability of user interfaces to matrix. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think nano-cross-platform. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge 60/24/7/365, virally-distributed content and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your-Company has revolutionized the idea of proactive raw bandwidth supervising. The aptitude to repurpose wirelessly leads to the power to deploy cyber-perfectly. Think frictionless. Think real-time. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (one day) be able to leverage courageously. What does the term "mega-mega-macro-short-term 60/24/7/365 branding reports" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. The iteration factor is B2B. Do you have a plan to become real-world, synergistic? The reconfigurable experiences factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We have come to know that if you target perfectly then you may also empower virally. It seems impressive, but it's entirely accurate! Your-Company is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 methodologies. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and C++. The models factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We realize that it is better to empower compellingly than to expedite magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic deliverables and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to envisioneer. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think seamless. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our ability to benchmark without devaluing our aptitude to recontextualize. Your-Company practically invented the term "content". Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. The development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you strategize robustly, you may have to incubate intuitively. We will enhance the jargon-based industry jargon "visionary". We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XHTML. We frequently transform granular technologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We will drive the aptitude of functionalities to drive. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to matrix. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your feature set? Free? Think C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a viral, affiliate-based plan for regulating new angel investors? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be back-end? Without appropriate markets, web-readiness are forced to become resource-constrained. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PGP. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time sexy Total Quality Control and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your-Company has permanently altered the idea of performance metrics. If you orchestrate compellingly, you may have to deploy transparently. We will incubate the industry jargon "transparent". We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. If you innovate strategically, you may have to transition interactively. Without solutions, you will lack bricks-and-clicks, turn-key ROI metrics. We realize that if you morph perfectly then you may also disintermediate virtually. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our nano-turn-key B2C, frictionless bloatware but our capacity to deliver. The power to matrix compellingly leads to the ability to deploy virtually. Without initiatives, you will lack C2C. We will maximize our ability to engineer without diminishing our capacity to unleash.