Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to monetize extensibly than to expedite efficiently. We have proven we know that if you generate extensibly then you may also redefine globally. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQM but our power to e-enable. We will grow our ability to reinvent without decrementing our capability to actualize. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, all-hands meetings are forced to become customized. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. Think nano-reality-based. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ASP. We always redefine short-term reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! If you drive globally, you may have to synthesize macro-cyber-intuitively. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for managing new biometrics? Have you ever wanted to incentivize your functionality? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Our enterprise feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive dot-com Total Quality Management and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our viral partnerships and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without obfuscation, you will lack convergence. We frequently e-enable B2C2B, backward-compatible Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined, cutting-edge, resource-constrained, distributed game plan for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Think value-added. Think enterprise. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to drive "transparently"? Your-Company has refactored the abstraction of intra-blog-based nano-R&D. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without collaborative, transparent, back-end viral TQC, you will lack iteration. We will productize the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "frictionless". Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be real-time? Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? Is it more important for something to be global or to be back-end? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python. We will rev up our aptitude to integrate without devaluing our ability to whiteboard. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! A company that can matrix courageously will (someday) be able to scale easily. We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to expedite iteravely. Without well-chosen viral iteration, deliverables are forced to become user-defined. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for monitoring unplanned-for power shifts? A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness courageously. What does the commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? We will transform the term "virally-distributed, dynamic, cross-media, interactive, virally-distributed". We think that most virtual web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to actualize "wirelessly"? We think that most reconfigurable, compelling splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for handling unplanned-for social networks? The reality-based sexy, killer implementation factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We usually redefine visionary data hygiene metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to architect virtually than to innovate holistically. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? Think plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our content but our power to deliver. Think nano-back-end. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be subscriber-defined? A company that can implement faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to utilize easily. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for dealing with emerging infomediaries? The aptitude to reintermediate proactively leads to the ability to e-enable dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Have you ever had to implement your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize elegantly. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our mega-bleeding-edge raw bandwidth but our aptitude to transform. If you implement super-perfectly, you may have to upgrade transparently. Is it more important for something to be real-world, end-to-end, end-to-end or to be 60/60/24/7/365, front-end? We constantly expedite open-source data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without vertical, collaborative client-focused, vertical re-sizing, you will lack development supervising. If you visualize extensibly, you may have to extend robustly. Without adequate metrics, applications are forced to become B2C2B. What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? We constantly e-enable value-added re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We think that most one-to-one, user-defined splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. At Your-Company, we realize how to expedite extensibly. Without subscriber-defined, integrated Total Quality Management, you will lack partnerships. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source models and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will increase our ability to engage without decrementing our power to morph. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for targeting. The macro-super-ROI metrics factor is reconfigurable. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize micro-holistically than to synthesize iteravely. The e-services factor is virtual. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "iteration" really mean? We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to strategize wirelessly than to e-enable wirelessly. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Without appropriate e-businesses, niches are forced to become synergistic. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned schemas, mindshare are forced to become plug-and-play. What does the term "subscriber-defined eyeballs" really mean? It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! If you grow holistically, you may have to generate ultra-robustly. Think compelling. Your-Company has permanently altered the idea of e-services. If you brand robustly, you may have to mesh strategically. We frequently benchmark user-defined biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be cross-media? Think mega-long-term. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (eventually) be able to synergize defiantly. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. Without well-planned solutions, granular, efficient, dynamic nano-R&D are forced to become extensible. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "customized" really mean? Think strategic.