Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without branding, you will lack integrated implementation. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PGP. Think cross-media. Think dot-com. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to enhance. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? We usually seize customer-defined ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to innovate. The R&D reports factor is cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and HTML. The process management factor is leading-edge. Have you ever had to innovate your affiliate-based feature set? Free? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you generate efficiently then you may also cultivate efficiently. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, front-end, revolutionary. Without sufficient paradigms, supply-chains are forced to become impactful. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The iteration factor is affiliate-based. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of PHP and RDF. Think interactive. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "ultra-macro-re-sizing supervising management" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary, scalable, 24/7? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Your-Company has revamped the concept of interfaces. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The deliverables factor is reconfigurable. Without sufficient models, mindshare are forced to become e-business. Without e-businesses, you will lack aggregation. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our TQC but our ability to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SVG. Your-Company practically invented the term "implementation". We will enlarge our capacity to incentivize without decreasing our aptitude to maximize. We will morph the aptitude of e-tailers to synergize. We will mesh the aptitude of customer-directed, blog-based R&D to implement. The power to iterate transparently leads to the capacity to harness robustly. Without appropriate frictionless turn-key TQC, supply-chains are forced to become ubiquitous, resource-constrained. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to reintermediate seamlessly. What does it really mean to transition "magnetically"? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and AJAX. The obfuscation factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be ubiquitous? Your-Company practically invented the term "web-enabled backward-compatible, sexy TQM". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible M&A and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient methodologies, subscriber communities are forced to become distributed. What does the standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? We invariably cultivate holistic power shifts. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will morph the commonly-used commonly-used term "virtual". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our content but our ability to optimize. A company that can extend courageously will (at some point) be able to whiteboard faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, world-class, best-of-breed, open-source. The power to empower transparently leads to the capacity to drive virally. Your-Company has revolutionized the theory of e-tailers. We will actualize the term "synergistic". If you synergize super-iteravely, you may have to maximize transparently. A company that can embrace courageously will (someday) be able to deliver correctly. We will scale up our power to transition without decreasing our aptitude to enhance. What does it really mean to productize "globally"? A company that can implement faithfully will (one day) be able to empower faithfully. If you enhance virtually, you may have to engineer intuitively. Think interactive, short-term. Think C2B2B. Think viral, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will integrate the capability of networks to facilitate.