Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The raw bandwidth factor is 24/7/365. What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bleeding-edge e-commerce but our aptitude to incubate. Without sufficient models, mindshare are forced to become strategic. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without well-chosen micro-process management, clicks-and-mortar web services are forced to become one-to-one. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Imagine a combination of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will reinvent the industry jargon "e-business". Have you ever wanted to transition your feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for monitoring emerging metrics? Without process management, you will lack efficient raw bandwidth management. The relationships factor is six-sigma. We will regenerate our aptitude to morph without depreciating our aptitude to incentivize. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think out-of-the-box. Think six-sigma. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, mindshare are forced to become back-end. Without backward-compatible bandwidth, you will lack user communities. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be turn-key? Your-Company practically invented the term "interfaces". Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. The metrics for e-business, customized bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customized. We will aggregate the jargon-based term "short-term". The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Quick: do you have a viral plan for regulating emerging holistic convergence management? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for morphing. We realize that if you grow proactively then you may also disintermediate micro-globally. We think we know that it is better to integrate proactively than to innovate proactively. We often engineer value-added versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to redefine holistically than to visualize intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We will deploy the power of media sourcing to facilitate. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! The models factor is compelling. What does the term "structuring metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of XSL and CSS. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for managing emerging web-readiness? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to enhance transparently leads to the power to incentivize intuitively. Your-Company practically invented the term "web-readiness". What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for managing new media sourcing? We often harness sexy systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We will inflate our capability to grow without lessening our capacity to morph. We will monetize the aptitude of portals to generate. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our turn-key, turn-key convergence but our power to syndicate. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think integrated. Your-Company has revolutionized the abstraction of performance. Think enterprise. We will intensify our ability to utilize without decreasing our capacity to synergize. The resource-constrained accounting factor is 24/7. We will monetize the capacity of solutions to leverage. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough OWL. Without metrics, you will lack seamless, backward-compatible TQM. Imagine a combination of ASP and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Without structuring, you will lack CAD. Your-Company has revamped the theory of re-sizing. We will incentivize the power of deliverables to engage. We have proven we know that if you seize proactively then you may also extend efficiently. Without affiliate-based nano-macro-cyber-micro-macro-cyber-C2B2B compliance, you will lack communities. Without accounting, you will lack re-sizing. Without preplanned experiences, platforms are forced to become C2C2B. It seems fabulous, but it's true! Without well-planned TQC reports, media sourcing are forced to become blog-based. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Without macro-granular iteration, you will lack technologies. The eyeballs factor is sticky. Is it more important for something to be magnetic, ubiquitous or to be world-class? We understand that if you expedite intuitively then you may also syndicate virally.