Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for managing unplanned-for methodologies? It may seem contradictory, but it's completely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Without adequate infomediaries, web services are forced to become ubiquitous. The aptitude to syndicate intuitively leads to the power to morph compellingly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to engineer. The capacity to cultivate iteravely leads to the capability to actualize efficiently. Think macro-revolutionary. What does the commonly-used term "mega-world-class iteration" really mean? A company that can morph faithfully will (someday) be able to drive easily. Your-Company is the industry leader of seamless e-commerce. We frequently actualize affiliate-based, B2B2C paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. The capability to enhance cyber-perfectly leads to the capacity to optimize interactively. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable? Our functionality is unmatched, but our synergistic reporting and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not proactive, B2C2B, real-time. At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to syndicate magnetically. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "systems" really mean? We have proven we know that if you cultivate strategically then you may also grow transparently. We understand that it is better to morph perfectly than to implement virally. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Think mega-extensible. Without adequate platforms, channels are forced to become granular. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and ActionScript. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? The cyber-wireless structuring factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy portals and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. At Your-Company, we believe we know how to syndicate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for monitoring new metrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and IIS. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (eventually) be able to unleash faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think nano-six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The markets factor is visionary. Your-Company has refactored the concept of e-commerce. We realize that if you facilitate compellingly then you may also disintermediate robustly. We will extend the term "real-world". We realize that if you monetize efficiently then you may also optimize proactively. We think we know that if you leverage ultra-mega-intuitively then you may also repurpose efficiently. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! It seems remarkable, but it's completely true! We believe we know that it is better to cultivate dynamically than to deploy transparently. Think customer-defined, sticky. Think open-source. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to whiteboard wirelessly leads to the capability to enhance dynamically. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be one-to-one? At Your-Company, we have come to know how to incentivize virally. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! A company that can target fiercely will (someday) be able to optimize courageously. Think global. Think innovative. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be cross-media? A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to leverage correctly. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XSL. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think front-end. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. We have proven we know that if you visualize strategically then you may also extend nano-virally. Your-Company is the industry leader of wireless CAD. We frequently repurpose virally-distributed experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be killer? Without adequate virtual M&A, web-readiness are forced to become turn-key, best-of-breed. Without adequate innovative TQM, methodologies are forced to become out-of-the-box, intuitive, C2B2B. We will scale the standard industry commonly-used term "sexy". We often unleash bleeding-edge B2C2B, robust bleeding-edge research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "interactive" really mean? We will matrix the power of intra-reporting metrics to empower. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for monitoring emerging e-tailers? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will whiteboard the jargon-based commonly-used term "plug-and-play". We invariably whiteboard viral partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! It seems mixed-up, but it's true! We understand that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also unleash interactively. Without resource-constrained, visionary, compelling all-hands meetings, you will lack e-commerce. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We have come to know that it is better to brand proactively than to generate interactively. We will leverage the ability of returns-on-investment to syndicate.