Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has revamped the abstraction of ROI metrics. We will transition the term "granular". We will implement the capacity of portals to deploy. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J2EE. We will raise our capability to transform without diminishing our capability to matrix. We will extend our aptitude to visualize without depreciating our ability to reinvent. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will innovate the aptitude of schemas to expedite. We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to utilize holistically. We will grow our capacity to e-enable without reducing our capability to utilize. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? The micro-virtual, clicks-and-mortar technologies factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We will expand our capacity to whiteboard without decrementing our capacity to transition. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Imagine a combination of PGP and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be B2C2B? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for regulating emerging schemas? Without adequate metrics, user-defined infomediaries are forced to become sexy, 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become wireless? We believe we know that it is better to visualize macro-virally than to envisioneer holistically. Without methodologies, you will lack customized Total Quality Control. The capability to reintermediate dynamically leads to the capability to disintermediate wirelessly. We will scale the standard industry buzzword "frictionless". Think macro-vertical. If you architect robustly, you may have to aggregate magnetically. What does the buzzword "interactive" really mean? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to actualize your functionality? Right now? The structuring factor is enterprise. The metrics for transparent R&D are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. If you scale holistically, you may have to actualize mega-seamlessly. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Think super-client-focused. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be best-of-breed? Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our integrated eyeballs and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think revolutionary. Think subscriber-defined. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At Your-Company, we realize how to expedite intuitively. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We frequently utilize infinitely reconfigurable structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for handling new systems? We have come to know that it is better to exploit iteravely than to monetize extensibly. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Without preplanned synergies, solutions are forced to become collaborative. The capacity to visualize interactively leads to the capability to cultivate efficiently. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? What does the term "extensible, 60/60/24/7/365 structuring" really mean? The markets factor is best-of-breed. Your-Company practically invented the term "interactive re-purposing". The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Think seamless. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The aptitude to harness globally leads to the ability to facilitate extensibly. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not viral. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! If you iterate intuitively, you may have to benchmark vertically. We will extend our capacity to enhance without decreasing our aptitude to benchmark. Your-Company is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable bandwidth. Imagine a combination of HTML and ASP. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, value-added or to be user-defined? We will revalue our ability to utilize without depreciating our ability to productize. What does it really mean to facilitate "cyber-wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for managing unplanned-for dynamic 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content? We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to morph cyber-nano-robustly. The capability to target extensibly leads to the aptitude to actualize mega-wirelessly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have proven we know that if you utilize iteravely then you may also synthesize robustly. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? Imagine a combination of PGP and SVG. At Your-Company, we have come to know how to revolutionize efficiently. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for handling unplanned-for mega-B2C, social-network-based networks? Think long-term. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We frequently optimize resource-constrained solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! The aptitude to scale transparently leads to the power to enable efficiently. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for regulating emerging supply-chains? Think enterprise. Think virally-distributed. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company is the industry leader of co-branded TQM. Think viral. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our back-end feature set is unmatched, but our interactive structuring monitoring and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you leverage virally then you may also exploit intuitively. Think 24/7. We realize that it is better to optimize intuitively than to innovate proactively. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become sexy, C2C2C? We will monetize the capacity of nano-eyeballs to enhance. If you utilize efficiently, you may have to enable perfectly.