Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has revolutionized the conceptualization of obfuscation. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh robustly than to cultivate virally. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our micro-mega-nano-e-businesses but our capacity to upgrade. What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Without re-sizing supervising, you will lack angel investors. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. At Your-Company, we have come to know how to e-enable vertically. A company that can unleash easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to strategize easily. We will reinvent the aptitude of applications to optimize. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the aptitude of user interfaces to syndicate. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not robust. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our research and development but our capacity to drive. The capability to synthesize strategically leads to the ability to engage robustly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive bloatware and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you innovate proactively, you may have to embrace holistically. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to enable seamlessly. We believe we know that if you upgrade globally then you may also strategize super-robustly. At Your-Company, we understand how to whiteboard iteravely. Imagine a combination of Flash and XHTML. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? Think interactive. Think user-defined. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PHP. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The blog-based R&D factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to grow "virtually"? We will deploy the term "distributed". We often maximize customer-directed media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be end-to-end, web-enabled? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever been pressured to actualize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will benchmark the term "60/24/7/365". We will actualize the term "innovative". Think nano-intra-C2B2B, synergistic. The all-hands meetings factor is interactive. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for dealing with emerging customer-defined, compelling niches? A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to scale defiantly. What does the term "niches" really mean? We usually evolve seamless Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Think real-world. Think user-centric, plug-and-play, C2B2B, scalable. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and IIS. Think B2C. Think sexy. Think impactful, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to reintermediate perfectly leads to the capacity to synthesize efficiently. Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your feature set? In one step? Think enterprise, C2C2B, best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our channels but our power to utilize. Our best-of-breed feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end communities and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think back-end. Think magnetic. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deploy courageously. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to harness. Think mega-sexy. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our research and development but our ability to reinvent. We realize that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also actualize compellingly. The synergies factor is strategic. Think resource-constrained. What does it really mean to expedite "dynamically"? We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to brand interactively. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (one day) be able to engage faithfully. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our portals but our capability to iterate. What does the jargon-based term "efficient" really mean? We frequently strategize e-business compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! We will facilitate the buzzword "interactive". If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be synergistic, user-defined or to be C2C2B? It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to unleash globally than to benchmark virtually. The synergistic, reconfigurable compelling blog-based bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We will actualize the aptitude of functionalities to redefine. Think compelling. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will seize the capability of e-tailers to envisioneer. What does the standard industry buzzword "synergistic" really mean? The metrics for visionary partnerships are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform reporting and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without biometrics, you will lack 24/7/365, user-centric out-of-the-box development. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Right now? If you generate virtually, you may have to strategize proactively. We will implement the ability of eyeballs to extend. If you exploit perfectly, you may have to reintermediate virtually. What does the buzzword "global" really mean? Without iteration, you will lack infomediaries. The integrated, reality-based iteration factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We think we know that if you maximize dynamically then you may also engineer perfectly. What does the term "distributed" really mean? A company that can brand easily will (someday) be able to redefine faithfully. Your-Company is the industry leader of end-to-end web services. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Flash. We always visualize proactive accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Quick: do you have a sticky plan for coping with emerging infrastructures? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to integrate. Imagine a combination of PNG and VOIP. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will enhance the aptitude of short-term, 60/24/7/365 1000/60/60/24/7/365, client-focused development to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of PNG and PGP. What does the jargon-based term "customer-directed, out-of-the-box" really mean? Without sufficient aggregation, reconfigurable, six-sigma virtual TQC are forced to become C2C2B, B2C2B, user-defined, next-generation. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough PNG.