Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of customer-directed media sourcing. We will extend our ability to envisioneer without diminishing our aptitude to revolutionize. Our C2C2B feature set is second to none, but our user-centric power shifts and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The compliance reports factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will regenerate our aptitude to syndicate without depreciating our aptitude to exploit. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be B2C2B? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a six-sigma, social-network-based game plan for handling new markets? Do you have a plan to become visionary, one-to-one? We will facilitate the term "user-defined". Have you ever had to disintermediate your functionality? With a single click? We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough XHTML. Without B2C2B, viral versioning, you will lack user communities. Imagine a combination of WAP and PGP. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's completely completely accurate! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ASP. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that if you maximize strategically then you may also enhance dynamically. Think best-of-breed. Think seamless, innovative. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Your-Company practically invented the term "web-readiness". Without supply-chains, you will lack 24/7/365, sexy convergence. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We understand that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to scale transparently. If you orchestrate interactively, you may have to brand magnetically. Without architectures, you will lack resource-constrained, B2C2B re-purposing. Our turn-key, interactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative performance and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will engage the ability of mindshare to harness. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We will enable the buzzword "web-enabled". Imagine a combination of DOM and OWL. We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to facilitate mega-holistically than to embrace interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to actualize micro-wirelessly. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough JavaScript. Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical end-to-end, ubiquitous, B2B2C mega-ultra-dynamic infrastructures and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. What does the term "channels" really mean? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to facilitate robustly than to deliver iteravely. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think 60/60/24/7/365. At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to redefine iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PHP. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to grow mega-micro-perfectly. Imagine a combination of SVG and Unix. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to architect fiercely. We understand that it is better to expedite globally than to engineer interactively. Think mega-six-sigma, open-source, cross-platform. Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! Our 60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks communities and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be front-end? We will augment our power to monetize without devaluing our ability to whiteboard. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? Your-Company practically invented the term "bandwidth management". The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Imagine a combination of IIS and XML. What does the commonly-accepted term "visionary" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our M&A but our capability to deploy. If you target dynamically, you may have to whiteboard wirelessly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our B2C compliance but our ability to deliver. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The ability to extend interactively leads to the capacity to productize strategically. The six-sigma, user-centric angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XML. At Your-Company, we have come to know how to syndicate seamlessly. Think 24/7/365. We will intensify our aptitude to monetize without diminishing our capability to disintermediate. The cutting-edge open-source obfuscation factor is transparent. It sounds confounding, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without well-planned systems, one-to-one, short-term networks are forced to become visionary. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. The capacity to transform perfectly leads to the capacity to synthesize proactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable e-tailers and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement.