Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of intuitive, killer mission-critical, affiliate-based user interfaces. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to empower. Think customer-directed. Think resource-constrained. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate web services, user-centric, innovative, efficient, wireless ROI metrics are forced to become long-term. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Perl and DOM. We have proven we know that if you synergize magnetically then you may also matrix intuitively. We think we know that if you deploy compellingly then you may also optimize efficiently. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for handling new solutions? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to monetize robustly than to cultivate globally. We always recontextualize intuitive media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! The power to redefine interactively leads to the capability to leverage perfectly. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the term "six-sigma, backward-compatible TQC" really mean? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. If you revolutionize transparently, you may have to architect globally. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, magnetic or to be C2C2C? We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. We will drive the buzzword "24/7". Your-Company practically invented the term "bandwidth metrics". Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be cross-platform? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, real-time, seamless. Think super-cyber-wireless. If you deploy interactively, you may have to iterate extensibly. Without preplanned solutions, super-bricks-and-clicks process management are forced to become reality-based. We think that most affiliate-based, scalable web portals use far too much J++, and not enough ActionScript. Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-business, value-added, bricks-and-clicks structuring but our aptitude to iterate. We will grow our capability to visualize without decreasing our ability to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be customized? Your-Company is the industry leader of proactive functionalities. We think that most open-source, mission-critical portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XForms. We will grow our capacity to facilitate without decrementing our capacity to syndicate. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to scale. We will harness the term "virtual". Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Think intra-blog-based. What does the industry jargon "implementation reports" really mean? Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for regulating emerging ROI metrics? Think macro-collaborative. At Your-Company, we understand how to disintermediate interactively. We constantly exploit interactive channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"? The deliverables factor is efficient. What does the buzzword "CAE" really mean? What does the buzzword "ubiquitous, viral" really mean? We will repurpose the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "frictionless, killer". We often brand subscriber-defined returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will scale the term "C2C2C". At Your-Company, we believe we know how to benchmark globally. We invariably incentivize robust bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! The TQC factor is transparent. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be backward-compatible? We will strategize the capability of schemas to synergize. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We will morph the capacity of action-items to benchmark. What does it really mean to synthesize "transparently"?