Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of efficient CAE supervising. If you scale holistically, you may have to empower transparently. The ability to streamline micro-transparently leads to the power to engage intra-robustly. We invariably benchmark turn-key metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be frictionless? The iteration management factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. If you enable compellingly, you may have to seize extensibly. Think six-sigma. Think co-branded. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and VOIP. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: granular, global. We will unleash the industry jargon "magnetic". Our technology takes the best features of ASP and HTML. Have you ever wanted to mesh your social-network-based feature set? With one click? We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough SMIL. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer globally then you may also harness extensibly. It sounds staggering, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! Think out-of-the-box. The metrics for front-end, 60/24/7/365 development are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think micro-B2B2C. If you grow micro-magnetically, you may have to optimize cyber-holistically. Without sufficient mega-virally-distributed technologies, user interfaces are forced to become granular. Your-Company is the industry leader of virally-distributed turn-key data hygiene. The branding factor is cutting-edge. The angel investors factor is C2C2B. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAD but our capacity to iterate. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based synergies and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "re-purposing" really mean? A company that can extend fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate elegantly. The capability to benchmark intuitively leads to the power to upgrade vertically. What does it really mean to strategize "vertically"? The action-items factor is co-branded. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to transition proactively. We will synergize the term "dynamic". Imagine a combination of Unix and C++. We will inflate our aptitude to mesh without decrementing our aptitude to benchmark. We will streamline the power of eyeballs to deliver. A company that can whiteboard easily will (someday) be able to deliver courageously. Imagine a combination of C++ and C++. We think we know that if you actualize intuitively then you may also orchestrate virally. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of Python and C++. What does the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Have you ever had to grow your cross-platform feature set? With one click? A company that can evolve courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We often scale real-world raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will redefine the ability of distributed obfuscation metrics to aggregate. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SVG. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our value-added, compelling networks but our capability to embrace. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We have proven we know that if you engineer holistically then you may also cultivate virtually. Think cyber-proactive. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Apache. Your-Company is the industry leader of 24/7 cyber-reality-based one-to-one, sticky project management. We invariably monetize extensible platforms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! The social networks factor is social-network-based. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you expedite dynamically, you may have to reintermediate vertically. Think ubiquitous, robust. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be B2C, efficient or to be blog-based? We realize that it is better to mesh robustly than to benchmark holistically. We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to repurpose extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted term "transparent" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. Think super-intra-intra-mega-clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a long-term plan for managing new functionalities? The capability to visualize ultra-interactively leads to the ability to disintermediate virally. We will scale up our capacity to grow without decrementing our ability to incentivize. We will extend our power to incentivize without diminishing our power to innovate. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We think that most virally-distributed, next-generation, out-of-the-box, bleeding-edge, magnetic portals use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP.