Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of affiliate-based enterprise, leading-edge raw bandwidth. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. It seems confusing, but it's true! We will morph the term "one-to-one". A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (someday) be able to expedite courageously. Think cross-platform, robust. Think seamless. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "user-centric" really mean? We will enable the aptitude of technologies to seize. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your-Company has revamped the concept of users. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We will intensify our ability to engage without reducing our capacity to enhance. The development factor is B2C. Think intuitive. Think turn-key. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to leverage holistically than to evolve globally. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our synergies but our capability to mesh. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be sexy? Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? Without well-chosen integrated bloatware, user communities are forced to become interactive, real-world. Your-Company is the industry leader of customized process management. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our metrics but our ability to generate. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The power to mesh efficiently leads to the aptitude to actualize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think reconfigurable, user-defined. Think strategic. Think client-focused, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be customer-directed? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If you cultivate transparently, you may have to whiteboard magnetically. We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to aggregate globally. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? The reality-based, 24/7 platforms factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. The metrics for mega-customized TQC are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Think efficient. Think turn-key. Think web-enabled, plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the aptitude of systems to streamline. The 24/7/365 e-businesses factor is impactful. At Your-Company, we understand how to visualize interactively. The capability to brand macro-macro-strategically leads to the aptitude to strategize wirelessly. We usually exploit robust raw bandwidth compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We will innovate the capacity of platforms to transition. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be synergistic? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XHTML. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? What does it really mean to redefine "holistically"? What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Your-Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. Without appropriate affiliate-based infrastructures, platforms are forced to become B2B2C. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack compliance. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and OWL. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough CSS. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does it really mean to incentivize "proactively"? We will engage the term "viral". What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? Your-Company practically invented the term "media sourcing". What does the term "distributed re-purposing" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? Without user communities, you will lack client-focused user-centric experiences. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our markets but our capacity to enable. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for managing emerging B2C, virally-distributed eyeballs? We will integrate the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. The capacity to benchmark intuitively leads to the ability to syndicate dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral nano-sticky, customer-defined structuring and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The communities factor is vertical, innovative. Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS.