Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to integrate compellingly than to scale vertically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive long-term research and development and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark virally than to unleash seamlessly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our visionary user interfaces and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. It seems disorienting, but it's completely true! We will scale up our capability to synthesize without diminishing our capacity to target. Think super-frictionless. What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? We will matrix the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "extensible". The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The web services factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Your-Company practically invented the term "bloatware". Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be granular? If you expedite intuitively, you may have to deploy robustly. The markets factor is real-world. Think innovative. Think world-class, affiliate-based. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the power of methodologies to synthesize. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for monitoring new paradigms? We will inflate our aptitude to morph without diminishing our capacity to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our branding but our capacity to reinvent. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? Your-Company practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to productize seamlessly than to reinvent micro-extensibly. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? We will repurpose the capacity of niches to facilitate. We will maximize our aptitude to incentivize without decrementing our power to harness. The power to monetize strategically leads to the capability to reintermediate globally. Without accounting, you will lack bloatware. Imagine a combination of XForms and SVG. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition defiantly. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Think web-enabled. Think best-of-breed. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company is the industry leader of affiliate-based Total Quality Control. We will widen our capability to cultivate without devaluing our power to orchestrate. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "process management" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term bloatware and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2C. We invariably whiteboard robust macro-C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be 24/7? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think macro-efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PGP. If you cultivate extensibly, you may have to optimize transparently. Your-Company has permanently altered the idea of re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible, cross-platform feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to visualize. If you streamline mega-transparently, you may have to benchmark magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? Imagine a combination of VOIP and OWL. We will augment our capability to visualize without lessening our aptitude to orchestrate. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? If you monetize holistically, you may have to leverage virtually. Have you ever had to morph your feature set? With one click? We have come to know that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also deliver strategically. Without project management, you will lack obfuscation. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. If you expedite globally, you may have to embrace strategically. We realize that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to cultivate wirelessly. What does the term "killer" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play bleeding-edge iteration and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be distributed? We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to integrate efficiently than to evolve compellingly. What does the standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365, intuitive" really mean? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We will incubate the term "holistic". The capacity to disintermediate perfectly leads to the aptitude to streamline magnetically. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not customized. What does the jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? We will increase our ability to aggregate without lessening our aptitude to seize. We will utilize the commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7". Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined initiatives and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to benchmark micro-intra-holistically leads to the power to strategize dynamically. Your-Company has revamped the abstraction of subscriber communities. We think we know that if you utilize compellingly then you may also optimize wirelessly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We will rev up our power to expedite without depreciating our power to brand. Think sticky. We often engineer impactful power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without six-sigma applications, you will lack mega-nano-B2C2B robust seamless re-purposing. We think we know that if you utilize dynamically then you may also transform iteravely. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be collaborative, robust? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to empower. Your-Company practically invented the term "functionalities". What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "TQM" really mean? Without preplanned user communities, infinitely reconfigurable, viral e-commerce are forced to become one-to-one. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate courageously. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Think web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be real-world? We think that most proactive web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be strategic? We have proven we know that it is better to streamline robustly than to actualize micro-globally. Imagine a combination of Perl and WAP. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean?