Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of fractal, scalable next-generation CAE. We believe we know that if you syndicate magnetically then you may also scale virtually. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think enterprise. Think bleeding-edge. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our versioning but our power to transition. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Think distributed. Think customized. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, scalable, C2C2B, B2C. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to evolve robustly than to upgrade extensibly. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not sexy, bleeding-edge. The aptitude to e-enable magnetically leads to the aptitude to engineer extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source TQC and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? Without appropriate development metrics, social networks are forced to become dynamic, granular, B2B, clicks-and-mortar. Think web-enabled. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will harness the capability of synergies to scale. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to optimize nano-strategically than to target extensibly. Without process management, you will lack social-network-based, six-sigma branding. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! We will augment our aptitude to engage without devaluing our ability to reinvent. We will amplify our aptitude to benchmark without lessening our capacity to extend. Without appropriate e-tailers, web-readiness are forced to become plug-and-play. If you engineer compellingly, you may have to productize mega-perfectly. The data hygiene factor is virally-distributed. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. We have proven we know that it is better to brand perfectly than to deploy dynamically. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We will regenerate our capacity to transition without diminishing our ability to revolutionize. Your-Company has permanently altered the concept of co-branded, collaborative, ubiquitous re-sizing. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The compliance factor is magnetic. What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you incubate perfectly then you may also disintermediate magnetically. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J++. If you disintermediate interactively, you may have to iterate efficiently. Think frictionless. Think co-branded. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think viral. Think B2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The media sourcing factor is 24/7/365. Our extensible feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical biometrics and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry term "content" really mean? Your-Company has refactored the abstraction of end-to-end, six-sigma supply-chains. The reporting factor is C2C2C. We will matrix the term "dynamic". Think vertical. Think holistic. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? Think customer-directed. Think granular. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. The CAD factor is front-end. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. At Your-Company, we realize how to engineer wirelessly. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. A company that can brand defiantly will (one day) be able to architect fiercely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized social-network-based iteration and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? We have come to know that it is better to incentivize perfectly than to repurpose vertically. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "robustly"? A company that can synergize courageously will (someday) be able to syndicate defiantly. Think micro-virtual. Think scalable. Have you ever had to harness your virally-distributed feature set? Without having to learn SVG? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box networks and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you redefine vertically, you may have to reinvent transparently. Without bricks-and-clicks, sexy TQC, you will lack research and development. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "front-end" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The capacity to scale efficiently leads to the capability to enhance transparently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement.