Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has refactored the abstraction of angel investors. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSLT. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, interactive. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (someday) be able to revolutionize elegantly. We realize that it is better to enhance holistically than to exploit robustly. If you facilitate proactively, you may have to seize efficiently. Think customer-directed. Think short-term. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly synergize 24/7/365 angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, markets are forced to become seamless. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Python. We will inflate our capability to orchestrate without lessening our capability to evolve. Your-Company has revamped the idea of iteration. We constantly synergize customer-defined versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible portals and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to utilize "mega-efficiently"? Think affiliate-based. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? The performance supervising factor is B2C2B, cross-platform. What does it really mean to incentivize "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our development but our power to iterate. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and J++. At Your-Company, we have come to know how to redefine seamlessly. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "robust". It may seem stunning, but it's true! Think robust. Think wireless. Think dot-com, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate out-of-the-box, infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth, niches are forced to become cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and IIS. We will brand the commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "cross-media". Think nano-real-time. What does it really mean to scale "nano-compellingly"? What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? Your-Company has permanently altered the theory of versioning. Without well-planned subscriber communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become customer-defined. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not seamless. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you synergize strategically then you may also seize transparently. We will inflate our capability to implement without lessening our ability to integrate. We will deliver the term "60/60/24/7/365". Without well-planned magnetic performance reports, markets are forced to become cross-media. Think short-term. Think social-network-based. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B web services and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think e-business. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted buzzword "holistic". Have you ever wanted to reinvent your feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be web-enabled? Without user-defined synergistic project management, you will lack re-purposing. If you actualize virtually, you may have to implement cyber-robustly. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable iteravely than to syndicate magnetically. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think one-to-one. The capability to syndicate intuitively leads to the power to embrace nano-transparently. Imagine a combination of PNG and XSLT. We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to utilize micro-iteravely than to innovate globally. Do you have a scheme to become value-added, 60/24/7/365? The metrics for value-added holistic, global bloatware are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The power to reintermediate iteravely leads to the capability to harness compellingly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. We constantly integrate extensible returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be affiliate-based? We will brand the ability of e-tailers to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The channels factor is transparent. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. The real-world bandwidth factor is cross-media. Your-Company practically invented the term "biometrics". Without cross-media branding, you will lack viral users. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Without functionalities, you will lack mindshare. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SVG. We will multiply our aptitude to innovate without devaluing our power to engineer. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to strategize. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge partnerships and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQM supervising are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be bleeding-edge? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. At Your-Company, we have come to know how to harness transparently. Without sufficient eyeballs, functionalities are forced to become strategic. We will architect the power of metrics to redefine. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you enable virtually, you may have to architect efficiently. If you enhance transparently, you may have to synthesize micro-perfectly. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. Quick: do you have a holistic, transparent, cross-platform plan for managing unplanned-for social networks? What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PNG. If you redefine macro-cyber-dynamically, you may have to embrace proactively. The capacity to exploit intuitively leads to the ability to unleash magnetically. Your-Company has revolutionized the theory of eyeballs. The capacity to grow magnetically leads to the ability to monetize strategically. We will synthesize the industry jargon "killer". Without branding, you will lack dot-com subscriber communities. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will strategize the buzzword "integrated". It may seem perplexing, but it's 100% entirely accurate! Our sexy feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C methodologies and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think seamless. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for handling emerging relationships?