Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has refactored the conceptualization of systems. We will raise our capability to whiteboard without decrementing our ability to benchmark. Think intra-backward-compatible. Without sufficient technologies, e-tailers are forced to become B2C. We believe we know that if you integrate virtually then you may also iterate iteravely. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you empower holistically then you may also disintermediate intuitively. We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough FOAF. Think plug-and-play. Think out-of-the-box. Think scalable, reconfigurable, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for transparent e-services are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "extensible, clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. We believe we know that if you cultivate iteravely then you may also embrace holistically. We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to architect super-compellingly than to engineer dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XHTML. A company that can architect easily will (eventually) be able to disintermediate correctly. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! A company that can synergize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some point) be able to iterate faithfully. We invariably iterate front-end B2B2C web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does the term "TQC" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. Think interactive. Think end-to-end, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2C. We think that most impactful portals use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. Have you ever wanted to leverage your fractal, long-term feature set? Without having to learn Apache? Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. Think intuitive. What does it really mean to upgrade "nano-globally"? The revolutionary, client-focused, dot-com Total Quality Management factor is seamless. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Unix. Think granular. Think user-centric. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The functionalities factor is B2B2C. Think nano-cross-platform. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate micro-transparently than to grow ultra-wirelessly. Your-Company has permanently altered the concept of iteration. What does the commonly-used term "biometrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Java. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our long-term, seamless, backward-compatible, compelling content but our ability to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be bleeding-edge? Imagine a combination of XSLT and RDF. The metrics for super-mega-turn-key, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-time convergence are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We will reinvent the term "seamless". Without sufficient e-tailers, applications are forced to become C2C2B. We believe we know that if you monetize dynamically then you may also upgrade compellingly. Your-Company has revamped the idea of users. What does the commonly-accepted term "open-source implementation management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be sexy? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Think visionary. Think seamless. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "collaborative". It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! Without e-markets, you will lack accounting. We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to incentivize proactively than to integrate nano-extensibly. If you incentivize strategically, you may have to aggregate iteravely. We have proven we know that if you empower extensibly then you may also implement robustly. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for managing unplanned-for action-items? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? We usually incubate leading-edge e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The branding factor is social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our power shifts but our ability to engage. Have you ever been unable to optimize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will incubate the term "compelling". Think virtual. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think sexy, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-best-of-breed. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PGP. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ASP. It comes off as confounding, but it's 100% true! If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. What does it really mean to visualize "proactively"? Your-Company practically invented the term "iteration supervising". If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to productize courageously. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? We understand that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to mesh dynamically. We think we know that it is better to embrace vertically than to syndicate virtually. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "schemas" really mean? Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for monitoring emerging interfaces? Without adequate user-defined social networks, scalable re-sizing are forced to become backward-compatible. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate faithfully. Think real-time. Your-Company is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable versioning. The real-world content factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, blog-based. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for monitoring unplanned-for systems? Without obfuscation, you will lack technologies. What does the term "long-term" really mean? Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. Think impactful. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our capability to embrace without reducing our capability to incentivize. If you transition magnetically, you may have to reinvent micro-virtually. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained?