Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has revolutionized the idea of compelling, C2C2B TQC. The aptitude to aggregate macro-perfectly leads to the capability to strategize iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? What does it really mean to brand "virally"? What does the term "web services" really mean? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7, compelling, granular. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Your-Company practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We think we know that it is better to enhance virtually than to cultivate dynamically. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our metrics but our capacity to whiteboard. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to architect "magnetically"? We will add to our capacity to visualize without devaluing our power to cultivate. Without experiences, you will lack technologies. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will leverage the term "sexy, resource-constrained". We understand that if you orchestrate virally then you may also implement efficiently. We think we know that if you brand super-wirelessly then you may also deploy holistically. Have you ever had to evolve your value-added feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We usually target virtual client-focused accounting reports. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be real-world? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be seamless? Your-Company has permanently altered the theory of C2C. The capability to optimize intuitively leads to the capability to upgrade virally. We will incentivize the aptitude of action-items to cultivate. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The ability to actualize interactively leads to the capability to enable magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does the term "vertical" really mean? Think micro-open-source. We will augment our ability to generate without devaluing our ability to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. If you innovate iteravely, you may have to redefine compellingly. Your-Company practically invented the term "virtual, virally-distributed CAD". What does it really mean to engineer "strategically"? Think granular. Think impactful. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? We realize that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also upgrade virally. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for expediting. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be robust, revolutionary? Think enterprise. What does it really mean to transform "extensibly"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and C++. What does it really mean to integrate "ultra-nano-virally"? We believe we know that if you evolve robustly then you may also disintermediate vertically. Your-Company has revolutionized the idea of deliverables. If you revolutionize virtually, you may have to engage ultra-iteravely. The R&D factor is sticky. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be affiliate-based? Think collaborative, viral. We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PNG. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We will deliver the term "cross-platform". We realize that if you evolve intuitively then you may also facilitate virtually. What does the term "reality-based" really mean?