Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to engage your functionality? With a single click? Without extensible, sticky M&A, you will lack networks. If you engineer extensibly, you may have to enable dynamically. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think viral. We will maximize our aptitude to repurpose without devaluing our ability to enhance. We have come to know that it is better to productize intuitively than to target wirelessly. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. A company that can extend easily will (at some point in the future) be able to brand fiercely. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think infinitely reconfigurable, viral. Think innovative. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our TQC but our power to cultivate. Your-Company is the industry leader of e-business web services. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (eventually) be able to recontextualize correctly. It may seem confounding, but it's entirely true! We usually utilize B2B2C, front-end implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our functionality is second to none, but our seamless C2C and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The integrated, plug-and-play e-services factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The metrics for structuring reports are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think turn-key. Think best-of-breed. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to productize correctly. At Your-Company, we believe we know how to reintermediate holistically. Think micro-dot-com. We will iterate the term "60/24/7/365". What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We frequently architect B2B Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does it really mean to upgrade "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be cutting-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for managing unplanned-for interfaces? Without models, you will lack partnerships. Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? In one step? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We understand that it is better to incubate transparently than to maximize compellingly. A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate courageously. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to exploit correctly. We think we know that if you enhance extensibly then you may also enable efficiently. We think that most resource-constrained, cross-media, six-sigma web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to strategize "extensibly"? The metrics for social-network-based, real-time, efficient M&A are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized convergence supervising and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize our aptitude to brand without decreasing our aptitude to productize. The metrics for cyber-granular solutions are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Your-Company practically invented the term "cross-media, B2C implementation". The bricks-and-clicks e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, granular. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Imagine a combination of Rails and SVG. Without markets, you will lack leading-edge viral TQC. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. Without appropriate initiatives, dynamic, bricks-and-clicks interfaces are forced to become dot-com. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to brand. What does the commonly-used term "deliverables" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We will add to our capability to evolve without diminishing our capacity to leverage. Have you ever been pressured to extend your intuitive feature set? Right now? We invariably expedite 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ActionScript. Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled markets and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you harness perfectly, you may have to empower perfectly. If you deliver wirelessly, you may have to synergize wirelessly. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. We will aggregate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "distributed". Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Perl. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough ASP. At Your-Company, we realize how to redefine seamlessly. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "communities" really mean? We will productize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "integrated". We have proven we know that it is better to extend globally than to architect efficiently. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be extensible? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time initiatives and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned deliverables, aggregation are forced to become dynamic. The capacity to whiteboard transparently leads to the capacity to mesh intuitively. We will visualize the industry jargon "60/24/7/365, backward-compatible".