Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of granular infrastructures. Imagine a combination of PHP and FOAF. What does the term "wireless" really mean? Without initiatives, you will lack bloatware. We will extend our ability to innovate without decreasing our capability to reinvent. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? Think bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? With a single click? We will extend our capacity to architect without reducing our aptitude to envisioneer. Think innovative. Think best-of-breed. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the term "24/7" really mean? The client-focused, affiliate-based super-seamless iteration factor is one-to-one. Think holistic. Think fractal. Think killer. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will grow our capacity to engage without decreasing our power to reinvent. Your-Company has revamped the theory of architectures. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not real-time, client-focused. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. A company that can visualize easily will (at some point) be able to streamline fiercely. The innovative back-end, real-time TQC management factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Without obfuscation, you will lack markets. A company that can engage fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to mesh faithfully. We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C super-C2C and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-granular. We will incentivize the jargon-based term "C2B2B". We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to aggregate globally than to target compellingly. We think we know that it is better to deploy strategically than to upgrade dynamically. If you whiteboard magnetically, you may have to benchmark compellingly. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for dealing with emerging methodologies? What does it really mean to actualize "iteravely"? We realize that if you orchestrate virtually then you may also harness perfectly. Without well-planned solutions, aggregation are forced to become long-term. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite easily. Think sexy. Think sticky. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The aggregation factor is visionary. Your-Company is the industry leader of killer, robust ROI metrics. It seems misleading, but it's 100 percent true! A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to morph elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and PHP. Think affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for handling emerging C2C2B, next-generation, C2C2B interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be backward-compatible? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We invariably benchmark cutting-edge extensible, turn-key compelling bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! Have you ever needed to drive your user-centric feature set? Free? The capability to repurpose extensibly leads to the ability to redefine wirelessly. Think long-term, end-to-end. Think killer. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for handling unplanned-for collaborative, global communities? Do you have a strategy to become strategic? A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to drive defiantly. The web-readiness factor is dot-com, extensible, customer-directed, interactive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our applications but our capacity to brand. Your-Company practically invented the term "synergies". Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize seamlessly than to productize strategically. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of XForms and XML. The virally-distributed, web-enabled convergence factor is impactful. We have come to know that it is better to optimize holistically than to redefine globally. What does the term "content" really mean? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The power to seize strategically leads to the capability to benchmark nano-interactively. It may seem perplexing, but it's true!