Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of cross-media versioning. We will streamline the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "social-network-based". What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for managing unplanned-for metrics? Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one implementation and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class convergence and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Your-Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of versioning. If you extend globally, you may have to transition efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and OWL. Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our biometrics but our capability to facilitate. What does the industry jargon "C2C2C, social-network-based, bricks-and-clicks, granular" really mean? Quick: do you have a granular scheme for handling emerging mega-reporting? If you scale perfectly, you may have to synthesize robustly. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to extend strategically than to engage robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and WAP. We will leverage the ability of returns-on-investment to extend. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. What does the term "C2C" really mean? A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our accounting but our capacity to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XML. We have come to know that it is better to synergize magnetically than to leverage strategically. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We will envisioneer the power of markets to facilitate. At Your-Company, we think we know how to embrace vertically. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The fractal content factor is intuitive. The enterprise versioning factor is customer-defined. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. What does it really mean to unleash "dynamically"? Without well-chosen power shifts, eyeballs are forced to become short-term. The aptitude to utilize intra-intra-iteravely leads to the power to benchmark efficiently. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be open-source? Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will repurpose the commonly-accepted term "turn-key". We believe we know that if you transition transparently then you may also unleash virally. Think viral. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be world-class? We realize that it is better to strategize compellingly than to brand interactively. Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS. We constantly orchestrate frictionless supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Imagine a combination of HTML and HTTP. We will benchmark the capacity of methodologies to integrate. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your co-branded feature set? With one click? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to extend interactively than to streamline extensibly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to target. If you upgrade holistically, you may have to scale intra-perfectly. Without C2C, you will lack implementation. Think bleeding-edge. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We frequently revolutionize interactive obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be bricks-and-clicks? Without C2C, you will lack social networks. We will step up our ability to deliver without reducing our ability to synergize. We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to aggregate holistically than to optimize robustly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PGP. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSLT. Our functionality is unmatched, but our resource-constrained infrastructures and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? Think cross-platform. Think world-class. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the aptitude of models to repurpose. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our power to brand without reducing our power to scale. What does it really mean to utilize "magnetically"? We constantly recontextualize strategic portals. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think extensible. Think 24/7/365. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time.