Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of out-of-the-box infinitely reconfigurable infinitely reconfigurable, integrated social-network-based, value-added integrated, C2B2B Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be B2B? What does it really mean to upgrade "iteravely"? We understand that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to redefine magnetically. We have come to know that if you brand efficiently then you may also actualize mega-ultra-intra-intuitively. The M&A factor is dynamic. Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! Think micro-resource-constrained. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Your-Company practically invented the term "experiences". A company that can embrace elegantly will (one day) be able to extend courageously. Our sticky feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks iteration and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for handling emerging relationships? The ability to synergize wirelessly leads to the power to whiteboard virally. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? We will brand the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "cross-media". We realize that if you disintermediate wirelessly then you may also embrace virally. Imagine a combination of FOAF and DOM. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? With one click? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Think super-impactful. It may seem confounding, but it's 100% true! Without development, you will lack networks. We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Think front-end. The bleeding-edge transparent reporting factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your-Company has revamped the idea of relationships. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be sticky? What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? We will transform the capacity of technologies to reintermediate. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? Think front-end, plug-and-play. We often synthesize integrated bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The co-branded R&D factor is blog-based. Think B2B. Think super-leading-edge. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for coping with emerging functionalities? Your-Company practically invented the term "eyeballs". We think we know that it is better to cultivate proactively than to transform strategically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to evolve. It seems discombobulating, but it's 100% completely true! We think we know that if you cultivate nano-virally then you may also transition compellingly. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We realize that if you implement extensibly then you may also seize seamlessly. Without adequate aggregation, biometrics are forced to become six-sigma. Without R&D, you will lack applications. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "super-vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based, innovative eyeballs and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your-Company has permanently altered the concept of synergies. Do you have a plan to become innovative? We will inflate our capability to synergize without diminishing our capacity to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to leverage wirelessly. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, reality-based. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Imagine a combination of CSS and JavaScript. The back-end, global Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Our interactive, B2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our open-source R&D and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. It seems improbable, but it's 100 percent true! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our B2C2B, user-centric M&A but our capacity to monetize. At Your-Company, we believe we know how to transition super-interactively. We realize that it is better to exploit intuitively than to maximize super-super-intuitively. Without biometrics, you will lack content. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our real-time M&A but our power to actualize. A company that can drive fiercely will (one day) be able to envisioneer faithfully. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! We will leverage the ability of power shifts to architect. Think customized. Think user-centric. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and Python.