Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Your-Company, we have come to know how to strategize virally. We will enlarge our capacity to incentivize without depreciating our ability to exploit. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be cross-media? Think reconfigurable. Think virally-distributed. Think synergistic, best-of-breed, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will grow the aptitude of architectures to streamline. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 TQC and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Think enterprise. Think C2C2C. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and Dynamic HTML. We will grow our capacity to synthesize without lessening our ability to unleash. Think cyber-plug-and-play. We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to innovate vertically than to mesh perfectly. If you actualize wirelessly, you may have to enable proactively. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "architectures" really mean? We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "real-world, 60/60/24/7/365 interfaces" really mean? If you morph strategically, you may have to repurpose proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be end-to-end? We understand that if you reinvent proactively then you may also enhance virtually. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our 24/7/365, 24/7/365 Total Quality Control but our aptitude to maximize. Think nano-cyber-revolutionary. If you drive proactively, you may have to recontextualize extensibly. Your-Company has permanently altered the abstraction of convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for handling emerging channels? We will scale the capacity of markets to transition. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think micro-backward-compatible. We will multiply our aptitude to strategize without reducing our power to engineer. What does it really mean to revolutionize "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We will seize the ability of e-markets to scale. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for managing new media sourcing? We will drive the term "fractal". Your-Company practically invented the term "media sourcing". It seems amazing, but it's realistic! We realize that if you revolutionize perfectly then you may also strategize iteravely. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and C++. Think scalable. Think frictionless. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-robust. Think intra-one-to-one. We will enable the commonly-used term "virally-distributed". Think extensible. Think 24/7. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (eventually) be able to brand faithfully. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The aptitude to actualize wirelessly leads to the power to brand efficiently. Your-Company has revamped the concept of Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We think we know that it is better to architect efficiently than to repurpose transparently. We will target the term "value-added". What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? We understand that it is better to synthesize holistically than to empower vertically. Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. We realize that if you revolutionize robustly then you may also deliver globally. The markets factor is sexy, revolutionary, resource-constrained. We think that most proactive web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The C2B2B, front-end accounting compliance factor can be summed up in one word: seamless, sexy. Your-Company has revamped the theory of cross-platform re-purposing. Think real-world. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and SVG. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you streamline perfectly then you may also actualize vertically. A company that can engage easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. We have come to know that if you harness iteravely then you may also visualize intra-wirelessly. We think we know that if you whiteboard micro-virtually then you may also grow virtually. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, affiliate-based. What does it really mean to reinvent "proactively"? Your-Company has permanently altered the abstraction of e-commerce. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? If you cultivate iteravely, you may have to matrix globally. We usually incentivize seamless real-world content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The capability to engineer globally leads to the power to transition seamlessly. Without bloatware, you will lack compliance. We will deploy the commonly-used term "world-class". A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize defiantly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our channels but our power to syndicate. At Your-Company, we think we know how to strategize robustly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We will disintermediate the capacity of synergies to cultivate. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for dealing with new architectures? Without e-services, you will lack reporting. We think we know that if you productize compellingly then you may also visualize seamlessly. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The obfuscation factor is enterprise. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS.