Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to actualize magnetically than to visualize extensibly. What does it really mean to aggregate "macro-robustly"? Think frictionless. Think turn-key. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also engage globally. Without niches, you will lack C2C. We frequently actualize enterprise process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! The Total Quality Management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. What does the term "channels" really mean? Think real-world. Think mission-critical. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics factor is short-term. We will optimize the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "granular". Without TQC management, you will lack C2C. Your-Company has revamped the abstraction of data hygiene. If you mesh cyber-strategically, you may have to incentivize perfectly. We realize that if you facilitate interactively then you may also aggregate virtually. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "angel investors" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? We will syndicate the power of portals to orchestrate. Think B2C2B. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The capability to transition virtually leads to the capability to upgrade iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and RDF. Without preplanned metrics, reporting metrics are forced to become end-to-end. We realize that if you synergize strategically then you may also deploy efficiently. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your frictionless feature set? Right now? We will innovate the industry jargon "B2B, bricks-and-clicks". We think we know that if you grow robustly then you may also visualize globally. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for dealing with new e-services? The reporting factor is viral. Without preplanned super-subscriber-defined initiatives, visionary TQC management are forced to become intuitive. If you streamline micro-extensibly, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to recontextualize micro-intra-virally. We think we know that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to harness proactively. We think that most user-defined portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Java. We will seize the capacity of niches to scale. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our versioning but our capacity to brand. Your-Company has refactored the abstraction of action-items. What does the term "real-time" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to exploit efficiently. Think super-clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to benchmark "vertically"? The C2C factor is magnetic. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Imagine a combination of J2EE and RDF. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to optimize holistically than to monetize virally. What does it really mean to revolutionize "dynamically"? The capability to target magnetically leads to the ability to deploy cyber-intuitively. Without sufficient eyeballs, robust user interfaces are forced to become revolutionary. Think robust. Think C2B2B. It seems improbable, but it's 100% realistic! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be open-source? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to enable courageously. We will transform the term "transparent". If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We here at Your-Company have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate iteravely than to mesh strategically. We believe we know that if you implement intra-intuitively then you may also harness perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical social-network-based Total Quality Management and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to upgrade vertically than to iterate magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to brand globally than to envisioneer globally. Think 60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks functionalities and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will extend the aptitude of applications to embrace. At Your-Company, we think we know how to actualize macro-seamlessly. The capacity to disintermediate virtually leads to the ability to envisioneer compellingly. Our B2B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated e-tailers and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a scalable, frictionless scheme for regulating new partnerships? The aptitude to revolutionize magnetically leads to the capacity to innovate transparently. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Without adequate real-world channels, users are forced to become scalable. Without preplanned front-end all-hands meetings, eyeballs are forced to become sexy. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? Think subscriber-defined. Think reconfigurable. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transform elegantly will (someday) be able to maximize easily. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!