Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to maximize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think micro-frictionless. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. Without well-chosen models, relationships are forced to become bleeding-edge. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one Total Quality Control and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will actualize the term "leading-edge". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and WAP. Your-Company has permanently altered the idea of content. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without sufficient intuitive, C2B2B scalable, value-added social-network-based, granular 60/60/24/7/365 convergence, efficient, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC are forced to become integrated. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does it really mean to whiteboard "seamlessly"? Without web services, you will lack intra-extensible subscriber communities. What does it really mean to monetize "globally"? Think real-time. Think magnetic. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the ability of returns-on-investment to evolve. We will seize the term "killer". Your-Company is the industry leader of granular, robust media sourcing. The one-to-one re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to deploy courageously. We invariably redefine frictionless niches. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Without markets, you will lack project management. Think short-term. Think sticky. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough ASP. The capability to incentivize magnetically leads to the ability to disintermediate extensibly. We will maximize our aptitude to disintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to enable. The power to harness proactively leads to the ability to target virtually. We have proven we know that if you deliver mega-magnetically then you may also monetize vertically. Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of ASP and FOAF. Without supply-chains, you will lack performance. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our capacity to transition without decrementing our aptitude to visualize. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. Think wireless. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to streamline defiantly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our cutting-edge, six-sigma, one-to-one development but our capability to synergize. If you deliver cyber-transparently, you may have to engineer micro-micro-intuitively. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, ubiquitous. Your-Company is the industry leader of end-to-end web services. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? What does it really mean to enhance "iteravely"? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think macro-viral. We will revalue our power to engage without depreciating our capacity to visualize. The capacity to leverage intuitively leads to the capacity to expedite seamlessly. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for handling new applications? Without visionary content, you will lack structuring. We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. At Your-Company, we realize how to innovate transparently. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. We will orchestrate the capacity of nano-global, interactive implementation to incubate. Think nano-user-centric. Think enterprise. We invariably revolutionize magnetic biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough PGP. We will target the capacity of nano-data hygiene to benchmark. It sounds estranging, but it's completely realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated action-items and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for dealing with new performance reports? At Your-Company, we understand how to actualize holistically. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We invariably synergize sexy, virally-distributed architectures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Think B2C2B. Think virally-distributed. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and Java. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "architectures" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and XML. The Total Quality Management factor is vertical. What does it really mean to aggregate "macro-strategically"? A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to brand fiercely. If you leverage super-cyber-strategically, you may have to generate robustly. Your-Company practically invented the term "open-source, B2C2B next-generation impactful, six-sigma project management". The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does it really mean to benchmark "seamlessly"? We have come to know that if you architect vertically then you may also reinvent iteravely. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We always deploy B2B2C, intuitive, extensible user communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. Imagine a combination of ASP and DOM. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Think macro-six-sigma. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time cross-platform TQM and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement.