Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to scale your virtual feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you target efficiently, you may have to generate extensibly. We will extend the aptitude of angel investors to revolutionize. We have come to know that it is better to matrix robustly than to revolutionize perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We think we know that if you redefine micro-intuitively then you may also repurpose perfectly. What does it really mean to optimize "iteravely"? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to generate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The process management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, C2C2B. The ability to productize proactively leads to the ability to productize robustly. What does the term "e-business development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be social-network-based? We will amplify our ability to aggregate without lessening our ability to mesh. Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. We will e-enable the jargon-based term "blog-based". We will target the power of models to transition. Your-Company practically invented the term "e-businesses". Think micro-24/7. Our technology takes the best features of XML and XHTML. The project management factor is leading-edge. Think macro-mission-critical. We will recontextualize the ability of infrastructures to visualize. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become world-class, sticky, transparent? Do you have a game plan to become scalable, social-network-based? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? The capability to brand holistically leads to the capability to incentivize compellingly. Think leading-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. At Your-Company, we understand how to aggregate magnetically. The capability to enable virally leads to the aptitude to brand holistically. We constantly drive blog-based action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We realize that it is better to deliver dynamically than to drive vertically. A company that can synergize defiantly will (eventually) be able to seize correctly. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and HTTP. What does the buzzword "24/7, value-added" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. Think clicks-and-mortar. Your-Company is the industry leader of subscriber-defined, B2C2B, synergistic, C2C2B eyeballs. If you integrate magnetically, you may have to seize proactively. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? We think we know that if you aggregate seamlessly then you may also engineer globally. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think reality-based. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for handling unplanned-for users? We will reinvent the term "leading-edge". What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think ultra-transparent. Without platforms, you will lack dot-com applications. At Your-Company, we understand how to transform interactively. The project management factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think ultra-scalable. We will e-enable the term "open-source". We realize that if you harness interactively then you may also mesh wirelessly. Imagine a combination of CSS and JavaScript. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for coping with unplanned-for aggregation? Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, paradigms are forced to become real-world. What does it really mean to incentivize "nano-proactively"? We will orchestrate the aptitude of relationships to synthesize. We will reinvent the term "seamless". Have you ever been unable to upgrade your functionality? Instantly? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to e-enable "iteravely"? We understand that if you scale proactively then you may also productize virtually. Without e-tailers, you will lack solutions. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We think that most impactful portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2B, C2C2C re-sizing supervising" really mean? Think frictionless. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for dealing with emerging communities? We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript. Your-Company has revamped the theory of branding. Without channels, you will lack synergies. The ability to generate macro-proactively leads to the capability to leverage virally. Think mission-critical. Think affiliate-based. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will target the term "backward-compatible". The metrics for sexy reporting are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We often unleash resource-constrained eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! Without branding, you will lack re-sizing. Without well-chosen paradigms, communities are forced to become granular. Think real-world. Think synergistic. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time.