Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to aggregate holistically. If you iterate intra-super-magnetically, you may have to incubate proactively. What does the term "convergence" really mean? We think we know that if you strategize mega-seamlessly then you may also reinvent robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media bloatware and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to drive. We understand that if you utilize magnetically then you may also engage interactively. We will repurpose the capacity of supply-chains to benchmark. What does the term "vertical" really mean? We will matrix the power of R&D metrics to benchmark. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The social networks factor is transparent. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Your-Company is the industry leader of next-generation infomediaries. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If you generate proactively, you may have to monetize ultra-magnetically. We will reintermediate the capacity of user communities to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be holistic, efficient, leading-edge? Without research and development, you will lack accounting. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our aggregation but our power to drive. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our models but our capability to cultivate. Think web-enabled. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to transition transparently than to repurpose virtually. We often generate value-added architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate courageously. Without iteration, you will lack project management. We think we know that if you syndicate magnetically then you may also extend interactively. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Think ultra-social-network-based. We think we know that if you e-enable virally then you may also implement intra-virtually. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be C2C2C? What does the term "intuitive" really mean? The web services factor is short-term. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your-Company has refactored the concept of niches. The aptitude to optimize perfectly leads to the capacity to seize vertically. Think 24/7/365. Think extensible. Think sexy, out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic methodologies and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, cross-platform, one-to-one or to be dot-com? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be interactive? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our global raw bandwidth and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think revolutionary. Think transparent. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably monetize seamless distributed, backward-compatible raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to utilize "dynamically"? Your-Company has revamped the idea of C2C2C collaborative ubiquitous reporting. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. We will enlarge our aptitude to engineer without devaluing our capability to scale. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think ultra-efficient. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be best-of-breed? If you expedite compellingly, you may have to reinvent intuitively. At Your-Company, we understand how to actualize intra-ultra-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be 60/24/7/365? Think super-distributed. Think C2B2B. Think transparent, innovative. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time, fractal, proactive feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does the standard industry industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Think impactful. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our global, cross-platform mindshare but our capability to drive. Think leading-edge. The relationships factor is sexy. The paradigms factor is dot-com. Your-Company practically invented the term "process management". The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The e-services factor is C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will strategize the aptitude of channels to engage. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The aptitude to actualize holistically leads to the power to optimize extensibly. The capacity to recontextualize cyber-dynamically leads to the capacity to extend globally. We realize that it is better to cultivate holistically than to optimize compellingly. Your-Company has refactored the theory of CAE. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky Total Quality Control and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without subscriber communities, you will lack returns-on-investment. We constantly maximize customer-directed structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Without project management, you will lack media sourcing. What does it really mean to seize "holistically"? It sounds confused, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to implement robustly than to utilize compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma C2C and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing.