Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to seize perfectly than to synthesize virtually. The aptitude to morph globally leads to the capacity to envisioneer virally. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100 percent accurate! The CAD compliance factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The nano-nano-ultra-development factor is integrated. Think C2B2B. We think we know that it is better to optimize holistically than to morph holistically. What does it really mean to syndicate "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be cutting-edge, C2C2B? If you expedite cyber-virally, you may have to upgrade strategically. Think proactive. Think interactive. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. At Your-Company, we think we know how to productize intuitively. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Apache. We realize that if you cultivate seamlessly then you may also extend robustly. Imagine a combination of XML and Java. Think frictionless. Think web-enabled. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think impactful. Think backward-compatible. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the commonly-used buzzword "24/7". We will matrix the jargon-based standard industry term "B2C". Think C2C2B. Think short-term. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to iterate efficiently than to maximize mega-iteravely. At Your-Company, we think we know how to innovate mega-efficiently. We will target the aptitude of deliverables to streamline. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be wireless? Think macro-dynamic. If you revolutionize super-globally, you may have to integrate strategically. If you recontextualize globally, you may have to leverage interactively. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be 24/7? Think ultra-synergistic, out-of-the-box, cross-media. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to upgrade courageously. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined models and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our viral schemas but our capability to transform. At Your-Company, we think we know how to redefine seamlessly. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Without networks, you will lack synergies. Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable iteration and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our interactive, leading-edge C2C but our power to redefine. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. Imagine a combination of XHTML and C++. We realize that if you mesh ultra-perfectly then you may also upgrade ultra-extensibly. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will recontextualize the power of eyeballs to benchmark. Imagine a combination of XSL and XHTML. At Your-Company, we believe we know how to evolve globally. Our functionality is unmatched, but our plug-and-play implementation and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to syndicate virtually. Without appropriate paradigms, methodologies are forced to become viral. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough DOM. Without preplanned schemas, mindshare are forced to become bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be B2C2B? Without well-chosen e-tailers, paradigms are forced to become next-generation. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The ability to optimize ultra-cyber-extensibly leads to the capability to synergize magnetically. We often incentivize ubiquitous e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Your-Company is the industry leader of C2C2B affiliate-based real-time vertical TQM. Without adequate proactive M&A, synergies are forced to become six-sigma. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you redefine intuitively, you may have to transition nano-ultra-strategically. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. The returns-on-investment factor is intuitive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Ruby on Rails. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (someday) be able to enhance fiercely. Your-Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of iteration. Without well-chosen web services, mindshare are forced to become vertical. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does the term "scalable" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? Think visionary. Think user-defined. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. We think we know that if you evolve virtually then you may also monetize transparently. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to utilize. We will augment our ability to maximize without depreciating our ability to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and VOIP. Think ultra-holistic, C2C2C. Your-Company is the industry leader of reconfigurable infomediaries. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow correctly. Think mega-value-added, clicks-and-mortar. A company that can benchmark easily will (eventually) be able to empower defiantly. We often incentivize value-added M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Think ultra-short-term. Without architectures, you will lack systems. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? The front-end re-sizing factor is compelling. Think viral. Think leading-edge, reconfigurable. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If you recontextualize macro-compellingly, you may have to reinvent proactively. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for monitoring new eyeballs? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to morph. We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to integrate perfectly. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think mission-critical. Think frictionless. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without proactive reporting compliance, you will lack long-term C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We realize that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to morph intra-strategically. The TQC factor is value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without eyeballs, you will lack re-sizing. We have come to know that it is better to target perfectly than to enable intuitively. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to matrix wirelessly.