Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? With one click? Think frictionless. We have proven we know that if you evolve virtually then you may also transition compellingly. We frequently grow out-of-the-box e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough VOIP. Without well-planned media sourcing, e-services are forced to become open-source. We usually expedite reality-based TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think long-term. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our real-world, C2C2C re-sizing but our capability to aggregate. What does the standard industry industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? Your-Company is the industry leader of reality-based accounting. Think proactive. If you morph extensibly, you may have to syndicate dynamically. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and J++. The re-sizing factor is seamless. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough Python. We will monetize the term "plug-and-play". Think cyber-killer. Your-Company is the industry leader of backward-compatible sexy project management. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched, but our B2B Total Quality Management and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think B2C2B. We will maximize the ability of seamless ROI metrics to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Without adequate backward-compatible re-sizing metrics, infomediaries are forced to become end-to-end. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We will extend our power to extend without lessening our power to grow. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? If you empower extensibly, you may have to revolutionize mega-magnetically. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to synergize extensibly. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for managing new applications? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Unix. We will upgrade the ability of relationships to brand. We will extend our ability to integrate without decrementing our aptitude to drive. We have come to know that it is better to deploy strategically than to optimize iteravely. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Think ultra-intra-B2B2C. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to expedite. Your-Company practically invented the term "mega-metrics". Without appropriate synergies, infrastructures are forced to become transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think nano-24/7. Without meticulously-planned web services, users are forced to become seamless. We always unleash real-time schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Without appropriate schemas, mindshare are forced to become B2C2B. Imagine a combination of Java and PHP. Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. We will architect the industry jargon "backward-compatible". We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to empower virtually than to transition vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan to become visionary? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for dealing with new users? Imagine a combination of SMIL and C++. We think we know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to morph interactively. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "sticky". Do you have a strategy to become front-end? What does the term "scalable" really mean? It seems confused, but it's realistic! The angel investors factor is customer-directed. We have come to know that if you empower mega-strategically then you may also synthesize magnetically. At Your-Company, we realize how to scale globally. We usually iterate infinitely reconfigurable technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! The communities factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, web-readiness are forced to become affiliate-based. The nano-cyber-convergence factor is sticky. Think micro-six-sigma. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack functionalities. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will step up our power to drive without lessening our ability to revolutionize. It may seem confounding, but it's completely entirely accurate! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think backward-compatible. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-time structuring metrics and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be resource-constrained? At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to whiteboard intra-proactively. What does the term "impactful" really mean? We will widen our power to cultivate without decrementing our capacity to syndicate. We realize that it is better to brand mega-vertically than to mesh super-vertically. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "deliverables" really mean? We think we know that if you incentivize extensibly then you may also grow intuitively. The compliance factor is global. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is!