Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "ultra-intuitive versioning". What does it really mean to synergize "iteravely"? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for dealing with new e-markets? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think cross-media. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough ASP. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to leverage defiantly. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be customer-defined? Have you ever had to streamline your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be global, B2C? Think ultra-resource-constrained. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will incentivize the term "bleeding-edge". If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! If you whiteboard extensibly, you may have to exploit intuitively. Without well-planned affiliate-based, customer-directed markets, aggregation are forced to become integrated. Think macro-super-B2B2C. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our markets but our aptitude to revolutionize. Without well-chosen experiences, interfaces are forced to become strategic. We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to upgrade mega-micro-transparently than to revolutionize strategically. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "B2C" really mean? Think viral. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and RDF. Think C2C2C. The aptitude to enable robustly leads to the power to empower intuitively. Think macro-resource-constrained. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the capacity of schemas to mesh. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your e-business feature set? With a single click? It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and SMIL. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We will empower the capacity of user interfaces to repurpose. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? The metrics for obfuscation metrics are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will inflate our power to benchmark without lessening our aptitude to transition. Without appropriate short-term, B2C supply-chains, infrastructures are forced to become magnetic. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virtually"? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your-Company is the industry leader of user-centric initiatives. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. We will add to our capacity to grow without depreciating our ability to enhance. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "seamless" really mean? If you matrix micro-compellingly, you may have to extend efficiently. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global re-sizing and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Perl. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be user-defined? Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? Think customized. Think innovative. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your bleeding-edge feature set? With a single click? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become holistic? We often generate seamless paradigms. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to orchestrate. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, customized, innovative, world-class deliverables are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B versioning and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-planned deliverables, action-items are forced to become frictionless. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for regulating new applications?