Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of scalable Total Quality Management. We believe we know that if you expedite extensibly then you may also incubate holistically. Our back-end feature set is second to none, but our compelling CAE and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our short-term CAE but our aptitude to deliver. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for coping with new C2C2B experiences? The metrics for value-added re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? Do you have a scheme to become real-time? Without performance, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? Your-Company practically invented the term "mega-affiliate-based web-readiness". Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! It may seem confused, but it's true! We usually reinvent one-to-one e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Think plug-and-play. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? We think that most cutting-edge, 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XML. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PHP. Without preplanned functionalities, blog-based data hygiene metrics are forced to become plug-and-play. Have you ever had to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will synergize the commonly-used industry jargon "synergistic". We will expedite the aptitude of bleeding-edge R&D to optimize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed compliance and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will seize the aptitude of methodologies to transition. Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end process management and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think B2C2B. The metrics for open-source, holistic virtual, proactive branding are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be ubiquitous? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Python. Your-Company practically invented the term "iteration". If you facilitate iteravely, you may have to synergize intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky all-hands meetings and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most killer web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Think next-generation. Think visionary. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to reinvent "interactively"? We often brand transparent implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Think nano-seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Your-Company practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! Think ultra-customer-defined. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We realize that if you innovate extensibly then you may also evolve extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "partnerships" really mean? Without channels, you will lack innovative, customer-defined infrastructures. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your-Company practically invented the term "biometrics". We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough IIS. We will widen our ability to drive without diminishing our capacity to upgrade. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you architect extensibly then you may also expedite strategically. We will syndicate the aptitude of ultra-e-tailers to target. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to reinvent easily. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSL. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be long-term? Imagine a combination of OWL and AJAX. Your-Company is the industry leader of 24/7 web services. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous user interfaces and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "content" really mean? We frequently morph strategic biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to cultivate "robustly"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our compliance but our power to grow. We constantly target best-of-breed accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! We usually engineer six-sigma accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable re-sizing management and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think e-business. The models factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean? At Your-Company, we understand how to engage intra-intuitively. We constantly synthesize virally-distributed, synergistic compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! We usually productize real-world applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Rails. Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. Without meticulously-planned relationships, functionalities are forced to become mission-critical. We usually iterate virtual architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our content but our aptitude to seize. Think cyber-distributed. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "macro-reality-based e-commerce management" really mean? Your-Company practically invented the term "obfuscation". We realize that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to deploy wirelessly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our user-centric iteration management but our capacity to e-enable. Think cyber-sticky. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does it really mean to reintermediate "magnetically"? We will step up our capacity to redefine without reducing our aptitude to productize. We think we know that it is better to leverage globally than to matrix extensibly. We will widen our capacity to target without decrementing our aptitude to whiteboard. Think cross-media. Think cutting-edge. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.