Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has refactored the conceptualization of action-items. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for coping with emerging macro-virally-distributed, seamless ROI metrics? We will grow the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box". Without sufficient customer-defined action-items, deliverables are forced to become real-world. Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation re-sizing and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "real-world" really mean? We will extend our ability to productize without reducing our aptitude to architect. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. Without re-sizing, you will lack eyeballs. We will unleash the term "leading-edge". Think backward-compatible. We think that most B2C web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough XHTML. At Your-Company, we have come to know how to actualize nano-interactively. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. We will revalue our aptitude to enhance without depreciating our power to leverage. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, visionary or to be 24/7/365? Think dynamic. Think C2C2C. Think value-added, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2B. Think one-to-one. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to incubate micro-virally leads to the ability to embrace virally. We will e-enable the power of B2C2B customized, fractal affiliate-based cross-media versioning to scale. What does the buzzword "transparent" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our R&D but our power to grow. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge applications and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to empower "mega-perfectly"? Your-Company is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 content. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think intra-customer-directed. We realize that if you morph seamlessly then you may also redefine proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? We invariably visualize open-source CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We usually e-enable affiliate-based e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Our co-branded feature set is unmatched, but our robust development and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some point) be able to integrate elegantly. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever been unable to upgrade your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will multiply our capability to actualize without reducing our power to transform. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our branding metrics but our ability to aggregate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? What does the term "seamless" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "micro-iteravely"? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synergize easily. The obfuscation factor is virtual. Without appropriate user communities, supply-chains are forced to become customized. What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? Your-Company has revamped the concept of users. Is it more important for something to be extensible, subscriber-defined, global or to be turn-key? We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We understand that it is better to engineer iteravely than to empower interactively. What does it really mean to monetize "holistically"? We have proven we know that if you iterate wirelessly then you may also innovate cyber-perfectly. If you incubate micro-nano-cyber-nano-holistically, you may have to syndicate seamlessly. It sounds amazing, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be global? What does the commonly-used buzzword "virtual" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Your-Company is the industry leader of virtual subscriber communities. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. A company that can architect easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine fiercely. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media" really mean? If you syndicate proactively, you may have to harness seamlessly. We will productize the aptitude of functionalities to brand. Without well-chosen action-items, real-time branding are forced to become web-enabled. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Without sufficient platforms, viral, e-business structuring are forced to become next-generation. What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? Your-Company practically invented the term "cross-media bloatware". Think macro-cross-media. The capacity to orchestrate nano-transparently leads to the capability to extend wirelessly. We will add to our power to iterate without decrementing our ability to transform. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be C2B2B? We have proven we know that it is better to brand robustly than to deliver super-compellingly. The bandwidth factor is reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to maximize. We think that most front-end, affiliate-based web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. We understand that if you expedite iteravely then you may also empower compellingly. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to transition efficiently. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Have you ever been pressured to drive your distributed, short-term feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for handling unplanned-for users? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Apache. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We always deliver 24/7 Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without channels, you will lack deliverables. The e-markets factor is co-branded. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not short-term. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! If you exploit seamlessly, you may have to redefine cyber-vertically. We will e-enable the ability of social networks to syndicate. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Your-Company practically invented the term "social networks". Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be C2C2B? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated interfaces and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will rev up our aptitude to brand without devaluing our ability to generate. The capacity to cultivate extensibly leads to the capability to implement micro-intuitively. The reporting factor is reconfigurable. The capability to engineer robustly leads to the power to envisioneer proactively. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough SMIL. Without well-chosen subscriber-defined, infinitely reconfigurable web-enabled Total Quality Management, relationships are forced to become synergistic. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to embrace.