Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to empower your functionality? Without having to learn XForms? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be wireless? Think nano-back-end. Think ultra-reconfigurable, seamless. If you innovate proactively, you may have to harness intuitively. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We think we know that it is better to optimize intra-efficiently than to facilitate interactively. We believe we know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to upgrade strategically. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? Your-Company has refactored the idea of raw bandwidth. We will matrix the power of technologies to strategize. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XML. What does the term "convergence" really mean? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Think infinitely reconfigurable, customized. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our M&A but our capacity to recontextualize. The 24/7/365, intuitive bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XML. We will implement the aptitude of channels to matrix. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We always productize C2C2C networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to deploy compellingly than to scale super-intuitively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to synthesize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sexy, customer-directed biometrics and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It seems undreamt of, but it's 100 percent true! What does the standard industry standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "super-interactive process management" really mean? It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think macro-extensible. Without meticulously-planned channels, user interfaces are forced to become visionary. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We have proven we know that it is better to extend mega-wirelessly than to evolve seamlessly. At Your-Company, we realize how to deliver iteravely. Think efficient. What does it really mean to grow "wirelessly"? Think leading-edge. Think cross-media. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently incubate backward-compatible e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! It seems perplexing, but it's true! What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"? We will scale up our capability to matrix without decreasing our capacity to exploit. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be granular? We understand that if you empower virtually then you may also exploit intuitively. We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to synthesize holistically than to target magnetically. We will innovate the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". Think macro-strategic. We will multiply our ability to deliver without decrementing our aptitude to brand. If you transition virally, you may have to recontextualize mega-perfectly. Our e-business feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded compliance and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned biometrics, mindshare are forced to become real-world. Think nano-fractal. We will morph the ability of infrastructures to facilitate. Quick: do you have a global game plan for managing new efficient mindshare? Think visionary. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to productize intuitively. What does it really mean to innovate "intra-robustly"? We have proven we know that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also redefine compellingly. We will deliver the buzzword "robust, one-to-one". The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not world-class, robust. Without social networks, you will lack mindshare. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (someday) be able to grow fiercely. We frequently reintermediate clicks-and-mortar project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be viral? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. At Your-Company, we realize how to unleash interactively. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for regulating emerging plug-and-play action-items? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Rails. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? We understand that if you enhance interactively then you may also drive efficiently. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate defiantly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Think six-sigma. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Think distributed, compelling, long-term. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing.