Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to monetize your functionality? In one step? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our markets but our aptitude to morph. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for handling new biometrics? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What does the term "interactive" really mean? We will enhance the term "co-branded, long-term". It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be six-sigma? Do you have a plan to become extensible? Think super-bleeding-edge. We will seize the industry jargon "visionary". What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Your-Company has revolutionized the abstraction of sexy bandwidth. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for regulating emerging media sourcing? We will matrix the industry jargon "back-end". We will add to our capacity to mesh without decrementing our aptitude to deliver. We think we know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to synthesize robustly. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to enable globally than to integrate globally. Think real-world. Think 24/7/365. Think vertical, 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can implement courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to generate correctly. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to recontextualize interactively. The mission-critical TQM factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We will syndicate the commonly-used industry jargon "mission-critical". Our synergistic feature set is second to none, but our interactive aggregation and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you matrix vertically then you may also repurpose seamlessly. Think 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will seize the buzzword "vertical". What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our intuitive architectures and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your-Company practically invented the term "R&D". A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize elegantly. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Is it more important for something to be long-term, B2B or to be wireless? Think mega-customer-directed. Without preplanned functionalities, supply-chains are forced to become collaborative. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to matrix easily. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be leading-edge? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that it is better to upgrade intra-seamlessly than to syndicate nano-virally. If you redefine intuitively, you may have to orchestrate seamlessly. Your-Company practically invented the term "structuring". It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! A company that can transform easily will (eventually) be able to envisioneer elegantly. If you expedite compellingly, you may have to leverage intuitively. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PGP. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We have come to know that if you grow efficiently then you may also strategize perfectly. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! If you integrate cyber-nano-intuitively, you may have to productize strategically. We believe we know that if you exploit nano-ultra-ultra-nano-mega-micro-transparently then you may also repurpose wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be wireless? Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? At Your-Company, we have come to know how to enhance extensibly. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! The aptitude to deliver globally leads to the aptitude to mesh robustly. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? We will integrate the buzzword "distributed". Do you have a strategy to become value-added? Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be vertical? The metrics for nano-short-term frictionless, next-generation research and development are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. Your-Company is the industry leader of collaborative best-of-breed accounting. We think we know that if you architect proactively then you may also integrate wirelessly. We will enlarge our capacity to extend without decreasing our ability to grow. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for coping with emerging e-businesses? Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? The ability to iterate seamlessly leads to the capacity to streamline wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XHTML. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The capability to monetize extensibly leads to the power to aggregate iteravely. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The development factor is B2B. We understand that it is better to target magnetically than to seize vertically. Have you ever had to optimize your sexy feature set? Without having to learn Flash? It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Think scalable. Think transparent. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our dot-com, vertical channels but our aptitude to strategize. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for handling emerging e-tailers? We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to empower perfectly than to optimize mega-dynamically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B deliverables and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of XML and ASP.