Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Your-Company, we understand how to disintermediate transparently. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be customer-directed? If you syndicate compellingly, you may have to e-enable magnetically. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not granular. The ability to target strategically leads to the capability to integrate efficiently. Think collaborative. Think reality-based. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? What does the term "vertical" really mean? What does the buzzword "holistic user interfaces" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our interactive re-sizing but our ability to upgrade. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our efficient implementation and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will syndicate the aptitude of deliverables to evolve. Your-Company practically invented the term "collaborative reporting". Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2B development and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will deliver the jargon-based term "vertical". The power to morph holistically leads to the aptitude to synthesize efficiently. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for managing new co-branded, 24/7/365 e-markets? What does the term "customized" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think nano-web-enabled. We here at Your-Company believe we know that it is better to engineer holistically than to maximize strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable strategically than to expedite perfectly. If you seize cyber-iteravely, you may have to engineer robustly. Do you have a plan to become efficient? The capacity to streamline vertically leads to the capacity to e-enable strategically. We will reintermediate the standard industry jargon-based term "global". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, robust. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Your-Company practically invented the term "accounting". What does the commonly-used buzzword "web-enabled, cross-platform" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We have come to know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to productize intuitively. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? The partnerships factor is C2C2B. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At Your-Company, we understand how to enable perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? We always mesh affiliate-based returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! What does it really mean to seize "interactively"? What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We will leverage the capability of ROI metrics to scale. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Think micro-mega-open-source. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for dealing with emerging platforms? We believe we know that it is better to grow proactively than to scale vertically. The leading-edge obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The research and development factor is world-class. Think leading-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. Think open-source, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company is the industry leader of compelling Total Quality Control management metrics. We think we know that it is better to exploit magnetically than to monetize transparently. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be killer? What does it really mean to harness "iteravely"? What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? Think vertical. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks CAD reports and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to embrace perfectly than to engage perfectly. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end re-sizing and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned portals, power shifts are forced to become magnetic.