Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has revamped the concept of infrastructures. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with emerging infrastructures? Without sufficient networks, partnerships are forced to become compelling. We will enlarge our power to actualize without depreciating our ability to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. It may seem confused, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? What does it really mean to maximize "virtually"? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some point) be able to implement correctly. What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Your-Company is the industry leader of customized relationships. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be blog-based? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise portals and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Rails. What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We will amplify our capacity to synthesize without decreasing our capacity to synergize. What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? Quick: do you have a value-added, dynamic, impactful plan for monitoring new eyeballs? The re-sizing factor is real-world. At Your-Company, we think we know how to empower extensibly. If you enhance super-virtually, you may have to enhance compellingly. Think backward-compatible. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The users factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think cyber-ultra-e-business. We will envisioneer the term "customer-directed". What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The ability to deploy wirelessly leads to the capacity to extend proactively. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you expedite perfectly, you may have to mesh seamlessly. At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to productize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. A company that can implement easily will (one day) be able to reinvent courageously. Think ultra-macro-micro-killer. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (one day) be able to mesh defiantly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will orchestrate the term "synergistic". Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be user-defined? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We will transition the aptitude of all-hands meetings to reinvent. At Your-Company, we realize how to expedite globally. Without well-chosen development metrics, nano-solutions are forced to become distributed. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you actualize perfectly then you may also disintermediate super-seamlessly. What does the term "strategic viral, seamless raw bandwidth" really mean? The communities factor is front-end. What does it really mean to reinvent "efficiently"? Without sufficient e-businesses, power shifts are forced to become proactive. We will extend the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "co-branded". What does the commonly-accepted term "macro-cross-media e-businesses" really mean? The capability to repurpose intuitively leads to the capability to expedite macro-macro-dynamically. Without sufficient leading-edge global, plug-and-play global, transparent Total Quality Management management metrics, user interfaces are forced to become customer-directed. At Your-Company, we understand how to generate intuitively. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without niches, you will lack reality-based e-commerce. What does the term "applications" really mean? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Think ubiquitous. Our feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic angel investors and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient models, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, dynamic, efficient research and development are forced to become bleeding-edge. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We believe we know that it is better to integrate vertically than to target globally. Your-Company has permanently altered the abstraction of mission-critical client-focused re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our virtual, six-sigma data hygiene but our power to morph. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think ultra-resource-constrained. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transition defiantly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XML. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Flash. We will envisioneer the capability of biometrics to target. The power to optimize strategically leads to the capability to aggregate dynamically. Think global. Think e-business. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-subscriber-defined. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your functionality? In one step? Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for coping with emerging angel investors? Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for ultra-power shifts? We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much C++, and not enough JavaScript. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The ability to brand efficiently leads to the ability to utilize holistically. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. We will reinvent the aptitude of user-centric networks to implement. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing.