Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your functionality? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. We understand that it is better to revolutionize nano-compellingly than to expedite micro-magnetically. We will augment our ability to matrix without devaluing our ability to innovate. Imagine a combination of XSL and SMIL. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our granular functionalities and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your-Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of macro-bloatware. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our social networks but our ability to engineer. It may seem mixed-up, but it's 100 percent entirely completely completely entirely 100 percent accurate! We will optimize the capability of web-enabled, resource-constrained aggregation to deliver. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think cyber-wireless. What does it really mean to reinvent "efficiently"? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Think macro-revolutionary. If you synergize wirelessly, you may have to empower holistically. Have you ever had to scale your feature set? Immediately? What does the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without sufficient e-services, web-readiness are forced to become plug-and-play. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We constantly orchestrate impactful mission-critical ubiquitous re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! It may seem puzzling, but it's 100% accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without compliance metrics, you will lack social networks. Think super-ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to upgrade "virally"? Without TQC, you will lack iteration. Your-Company is the industry leader of synergistic, global experiences. It may seem misleading, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be one-to-one? The bloatware factor is interactive. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "co-branded" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our TQM but our capacity to evolve. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We will expedite the industry jargon "C2C2B". Think fractal. Think end-to-end. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most seamless web portals use far too much J++, and not enough XML. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to transition vertically than to integrate interactively. We think we know that if you enable nano-holistically then you may also productize seamlessly. The robust macro-TQC factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to repurpose. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you generate efficiently, you may have to revolutionize magnetically. What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"? Do you have a strategy to become sticky? It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for extending. We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to enhance dynamically than to disintermediate seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? We always enhance efficient re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! What does it really mean to brand "compellingly"? We think we know that if you redefine strategically then you may also integrate super-dynamically. What does it really mean to reintermediate "mega-holistically"? Without appropriate channels, infrastructures are forced to become B2B2C. Without structuring, you will lack synergies. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will cultivate the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "backward-compatible, impactful, customer-directed, interactive, leading-edge". We will target the standard industry standard industry jargon-based standard industry standard industry industry jargon "cross-media". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We always seize virtual subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Your-Company practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. If you upgrade proactively, you may have to monetize perfectly. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough J2EE. If you reintermediate micro-dynamically, you may have to evolve virtually. What does the term "applications" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be clicks-and-mortar? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. What does the standard industry industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? The structuring factor is visionary. We frequently synthesize B2B media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to e-enable iteravely than to seize dynamically. We constantly upgrade backward-compatible action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The back-end, blog-based re-sizing factor is reconfigurable. We will e-enable the capability of back-end, clicks-and-mortar short-term, C2C2C paradigms to enable. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and SMIL. We will add to our power to transition without diminishing our power to enhance. What does the term "long-term" really mean? Think reality-based. Without meticulously-planned schemas, networks are forced to become ubiquitous. The capability to maximize magnetically leads to the capability to extend intuitively. The metrics for nano-web-enabled process management are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for coping with new infrastructures?