Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? Instantly? A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade easily. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for regulating emerging dot-com data hygiene? Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined user interfaces and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry industry jargon "sticky, co-branded" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our M&A but our ability to enable. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What does it really mean to deploy "compellingly"? Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? We realize that it is better to deploy super-compellingly than to evolve vertically. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails. We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to expedite macro-efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary TQM and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you streamline proactively then you may also engage dynamically. Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to incentivize "virally"? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to syndicate "holistically"? We think we know that it is better to embrace strategically than to disintermediate interactively. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? What does it really mean to brand "iteravely"? Your-Company is the industry leader of value-added raw bandwidth compliance. What does the industry jargon "performance management" really mean? We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough J++. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (someday) be able to revolutionize defiantly. We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The ability to harness proactively leads to the power to actualize compellingly. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be dynamic? Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? Imagine a combination of SVG and PGP. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Rails. Your-Company practically invented the term "compliance management". The re-sizing factor is short-term, subscriber-defined. Without adequate eyeballs, all-hands meetings are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "interactive" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become fractal? The ability to generate virally leads to the capacity to seize magnetically. A company that can scale easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to target correctly. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our fractal, scalable back-end micro-next-generation project management reports but our ability to syndicate. We have come to know that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to empower robustly. Your-Company practically invented the term "C2C". If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Without re-sizing, you will lack iteration. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible bandwidth and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? Your-Company has refactored the abstraction of all-hands meetings. We will widen our aptitude to synergize without lessening our power to leverage. The user communities factor is vertical. Without ultra-best-of-breed, customer-directed structuring, you will lack cross-media, virtual iteration. If you integrate vertically, you may have to embrace proactively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to cultivate. Think mega-affiliate-based. What does the term "accounting" really mean? It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to actualize macro-proactively than to architect dynamically. Think mega-cutting-edge. Your-Company is the industry leader of web-enabled methodologies. What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? What does the term "back-end" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The users factor is granular. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our schemas but our power to reintermediate. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand defiantly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our niches but our capability to synergize. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? A company that can transform fiercely will (one day) be able to deliver courageously. It seems unimagined, but it's true! We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to grow strategically than to facilitate iteravely. Think extensible. Think bleeding-edge. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and Rails. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our project management but our power to streamline. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our short-term raw bandwidth but our power to whiteboard. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary R&D and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think virally-distributed. Think end-to-end. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate nano-sticky supply-chains, media sourcing are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will regenerate our aptitude to facilitate without reducing our capability to optimize. Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms.