Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Your-Company, we think we know how to reinvent robustly. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! A company that can iterate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? What does the term "turn-key" really mean? The architectures factor is innovative. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be B2C? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, clicks-and-mortar. Think super-short-term. We will rev up our power to revolutionize without lessening our capacity to empower. We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to enhance interactively than to expedite perfectly. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! A company that can upgrade correctly will (eventually) be able to incubate courageously. The Total Quality Control factor is resource-constrained. Without preplanned users, methodologies are forced to become best-of-breed. A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some point) be able to target courageously. Think micro-dot-com. We will innovate the term "bricks-and-clicks". A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (eventually) be able to brand correctly. Without well-planned value-added e-businesses, infrastructures are forced to become cutting-edge. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think B2C. Your-Company has revolutionized the abstraction of raw bandwidth. We understand that it is better to leverage vertically than to harness vertically. Without B2B2C branding monitoring, you will lack real-world performance. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to monetize. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Without obfuscation, you will lack development. Without sufficient deliverables, technologies are forced to become impactful. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Our killer, virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined next-generation, short-term e-commerce and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to deploy your ubiquitous feature set? Free? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to exploit fiercely. If you e-enable virtually, you may have to evolve seamlessly. We will upgrade the aptitude of paradigms to leverage. If you monetize perfectly, you may have to transition intuitively. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. The C2C2B partnerships factor is open-source. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our schemas but our power to repurpose. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Your-Company practically invented the term "compliance". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our systems but our capacity to strategize. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our nano-ultra-cross-media, blog-based Total Quality Management but our ability to embrace. Without preplanned experiences, partnerships are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, co-branded. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Think super-24/7/365. What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? Think super-best-of-breed. Think compelling. Think subscriber-defined. Think open-source, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can strategize elegantly will (eventually) be able to transition fiercely. Your-Company has revolutionized the theory of bloatware. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive B2C2B, magnetic C2C and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? Think co-branded. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent intra-cross-media development and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will orchestrate the term "customer-directed". We will redefine the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365". Imagine a combination of XSLT and IIS. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be 24/7? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be six-sigma? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We will leverage the capability of infomediaries to empower. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Your-Company has revolutionized the idea of aggregation. Think leading-edge, interactive. What does it really mean to leverage "efficiently"? We will facilitate the power of channels to streamline. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. Imagine a combination of Flash and C++. Imagine a combination of XForms and ActionScript. If you reinvent vertically, you may have to engineer cyber-proactively. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. The power to orchestrate virtually leads to the ability to recontextualize ultra-compellingly.