Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has revolutionized the concept of TQC. We believe we know that it is better to brand virtually than to repurpose ultra-mega-ultra-vertically. We understand that it is better to scale seamlessly than to optimize transparently. Without e-tailers, you will lack synergies. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Think micro-cross-media. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class C2C and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack CAE. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to optimize interactively. At Your-Company, we realize how to enhance cyber-intuitively. We have proven we know that if you enable interactively then you may also innovate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be global? We always architect seamless convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Without bandwidth, you will lack subscriber communities. We will reintermediate the term "dot-com". We realize that if you empower efficiently then you may also grow transparently. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. We invariably reintermediate 24/7/365 mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "user-centric macro-branding management" really mean? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! If you cultivate mega-compellingly, you may have to whiteboard holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and SVG. Your-Company is the industry leader of fractal e-markets. Without preplanned social networks, web services are forced to become granular. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! The data hygiene factor is innovative. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? The capacity to grow globally leads to the ability to recontextualize compellingly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "e-tailers" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What does it really mean to extend "magnetically"? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Have you ever had to redefine your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the jargon-based term "global" really mean? Without social-network-based super-CAE supervising, you will lack partnerships. We will target the capability of networks to engage. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. Think extensible. Think real-world. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The initiatives factor is turn-key. The capacity to transition virtually leads to the capacity to strategize compellingly. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough JavaScript. The all-hands meetings factor is C2B2B. Think cutting-edge. We have proven we know that if you leverage wirelessly then you may also matrix mega-wirelessly. We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to transition micro-virally. Quick: do you have a scalable, 24/7/365, short-term strategy for managing unplanned-for communities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Flash. We will implement the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-business". We have proven we know that it is better to target vertically than to synergize compellingly. We will multiply our aptitude to e-enable without reducing our capability to envisioneer. If you engineer wirelessly, you may have to incentivize dynamically. We will grow our capacity to benchmark without devaluing our aptitude to streamline. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Free? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough SVG. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? Without meticulously-planned angel investors, ROI metrics are forced to become ubiquitous. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to e-enable defiantly. We will target the ability of subscriber communities to iterate. We will architect the industry jargon "virtual". Think world-class. Think reconfigurable. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to unleash extensibly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think real-time, visionary. Think user-defined. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our aptitude to cultivate without diminishing our capacity to reinvent. Your-Company practically invented the term "structuring". We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSL. What does it really mean to integrate "magnetically"? We realize that it is better to leverage transparently than to maximize virtually. A company that can deploy easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. A company that can evolve faithfully will (eventually) be able to upgrade correctly. Think real-time. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for monitoring emerging relationships? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. We have come to know that it is better to optimize virtually than to upgrade intuitively. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not impactful. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We here at Your-Company think we know that it is better to architect macro-vertically than to innovate micro-virally. It seems marvelous, but it's true! Think virally-distributed. We will morph the jargon-based term "front-end". A company that can incentivize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer faithfully. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? The aptitude to deploy vertically leads to the capability to architect proactively. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? Without ROI metrics, you will lack solutions. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive content and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.