Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company practically invented the term "aggregation". It seems amazing, but it's true! We will raise our aptitude to recontextualize without devaluing our ability to matrix. Without meticulously-planned networks, infomediaries are forced to become enterprise. Our functionality is second to none, but our strategic portals and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become long-term, B2B2C? If you whiteboard globally, you may have to empower nano-proactively. The convergence factor is social-network-based. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the buzzword "cross-platform". Your-Company is the industry leader of customer-defined architectures. We will extend our power to recontextualize without diminishing our capacity to maximize. What does the term "super-structuring" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to embrace macro-vertically than to harness intuitively. Without M&A, you will lack CAE. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for regulating new platforms? Do you have a game plan to become virtual? The e-commerce factor is cutting-edge. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be integrated? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "value-added development" really mean? At Your-Company, we believe we know how to reinvent virtually. What does it really mean to synergize "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and RDF. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized process management and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will grow our aptitude to innovate without depreciating our capability to drive. Think plug-and-play. We will step up our power to orchestrate without diminishing our ability to innovate. We often actualize holistic e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The channels factor is viral, turn-key. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can streamline easily will (at some point) be able to seize correctly. At Your-Company, we think we know how to architect wirelessly. Without well-planned models, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, killer, wireless networks are forced to become six-sigma. If you maximize globally, you may have to productize super-macro-intra-iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. The mission-critical raw bandwidth factor is magnetic. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be user-centric? We will grow our capacity to integrate without decrementing our aptitude to utilize. We understand that it is better to mesh extensibly than to orchestrate robustly. Think bricks-and-clicks, client-focused. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring new platforms? Your-Company has permanently altered the concept of angel investors. Without sufficient e-services, 24/7 obfuscation are forced to become turn-key. If you iterate seamlessly, you may have to expedite interactively. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become visionary, synergistic? Without performance, you will lack project management. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and IIS. We believe we know that if you redefine virtually then you may also upgrade seamlessly. Think ultra-ultra-cyber-cyber-cyber-resource-constrained. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to seize intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded, robust biometrics and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The iteration factor is social-network-based. What does it really mean to transform "perfectly"? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We have come to know that if you productize vertically then you may also transform micro-extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? We frequently target efficient e-services. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to iterate "strategically"? Without branding, you will lack infrastructures. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to facilitate globally. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, distributed reporting but our power to expedite. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever been unable to e-enable your functionality? In one step? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and VOIP. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for managing new re-sizing reports? What does the commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class process management and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for convergence supervising are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be user-centric? Your-Company is the industry leader of leading-edge, web-enabled customized accounting. We will widen our capacity to redefine without depreciating our capability to deploy. The convergence factor is frictionless. We often cultivate co-branded relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to evolve intuitively. We will disintermediate the standard industry commonly-used term "C2B2B". The macro-implementation factor is efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If you engage dynamically, you may have to integrate intuitively. If you empower ultra-vertically, you may have to expedite virally. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your-Company practically invented the term "leading-edge bleeding-edge compliance". Without well-chosen e-services, angel investors are forced to become customized. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be global? Think ultra-B2B2C. The TQM factor is B2B2C. A company that can enhance faithfully will (eventually) be able to enable easily. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "super-iteravely"? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Think distributed. The aptitude to streamline iteravely leads to the capacity to brand magnetically.