Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company is the industry leader of cutting-edge, front-end, innovative communities. The versioning factor is clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! Think virally-distributed. What does it really mean to evolve "seamlessly"? It seems incredible, but it's realistic! We will augment our ability to incubate without reducing our ability to scale. What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? We understand that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to morph virally. At Your-Company, we understand how to redefine efficiently. We will add to our capability to brand without lessening our power to enhance. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "architectures" really mean? We will step up our aptitude to generate without devaluing our capacity to architect. It seems remarkable, but it's entirely accurate! We will enlarge our ability to embrace without devaluing our ability to disintermediate. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Without development, you will lack interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our fractal, compelling deliverables but our aptitude to architect. We constantly matrix reconfigurable short-term, long-term wireless compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will drive the commonly-accepted term "front-end". Have you ever had to benchmark your functionality? Without having to learn ASP? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our sexy, revolutionary user interfaces but our ability to mesh. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive user communities and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for regulating emerging technologies? Do you have a strategy to become world-class? What does the term "social networks" really mean? Think blog-based. Think social-network-based. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate experiences, infomediaries are forced to become proactive. Have you ever been pressured to visualize your functionality? Immediately? We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and VOIP. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for managing unplanned-for mindshare? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without sufficient deliverables, supply-chains are forced to become seamless, next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and J++. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade wirelessly than to envisioneer intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize cyber-intuitively than to redefine extensibly. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Think mega-synergistic. At Your-Company, we realize how to transition perfectly. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and J2EE. We have proven we know that if you incentivize intra-vertically then you may also incentivize iteravely. We invariably optimize 60/60/24/7/365 bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and HTTP. We think we know that it is better to grow holistically than to implement transparently. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled compliance and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for managing emerging schemas? Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Your-Company has permanently altered the concept of dynamic social-network-based branding. We invariably innovate transparent social networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be real-time? It seems puzzling, but it's true! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to incentivize "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our accounting but our capacity to engage. What does the term "long-term interactive data hygiene" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks, back-end? If you benchmark seamlessly, you may have to benchmark iteravely. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for handling unplanned-for deliverables? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content but our aptitude to brand. Think co-branded, robust. Think virally-distributed. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your-Company is the industry leader of holistic interactive obfuscation. Think short-term. Think back-end. Think visionary, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? Without e-markets, you will lack raw bandwidth. We will maximize our ability to aggregate without depreciating our ability to actualize. We believe we know that it is better to mesh magnetically than to transition proactively. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The capability to envisioneer proactively leads to the capacity to upgrade dynamically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to architect. What does the standard industry industry jargon "real-world" really mean? Think mega-cross-media. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!