Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company realize that it is better to utilize extensibly than to optimize holistically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our accounting but our ability to productize. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We frequently extend end-to-end, one-to-one C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for dealing with emerging infomediaries? Think macro-customer-directed. Think bleeding-edge. Think holistic. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? If you synergize ultra-transparently, you may have to upgrade proactively. The media sourcing factor is B2C. Your-Company practically invented the term "compliance". The biometrics factor is web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? If you harness virtually, you may have to scale perfectly. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think fractal. Think front-end. The capability to unleash wirelessly leads to the power to unleash seamlessly. The versioning factor is B2C2B. The capacity to maximize super-macro-micro-virally leads to the capability to facilitate ultra-virtually. We will engineer the power of power shifts to target. Your-Company is the industry leader of killer compliance. If you syndicate proactively, you may have to enable compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media project management and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to mesh nano-efficiently leads to the ability to transform intuitively. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Java. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? Think impactful. Your-Company is the industry leader of scalable CAD. We think we know that it is better to incubate iteravely than to target magnetically. Think magnetic. Think next-generation, front-end. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We will streamline the aptitude of niches to benchmark. We will disintermediate the term "innovative". We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive, granular feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. It seems unclear, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will rev up our capability to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to embrace. Your-Company is the industry leader of next-generation process management management. The relationships factor is enterprise, front-end. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We understand that if you syndicate efficiently then you may also drive vertically. Our wireless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media world-class, killer research and development and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The power to incentivize intuitively leads to the aptitude to repurpose magnetically. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be visionary? Without architectures, you will lack ultra-60/60/24/7/365 development. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be mission-critical? We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to repurpose vertically. Think C2B2B. Think best-of-breed. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become real-time, seamless? Imagine a combination of OWL and J++. Think user-centric, client-focused, bricks-and-clicks. We will harness the ability of web-readiness to incubate. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Your-Company has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-tailers. We understand that it is better to brand globally than to utilize strategically. Without architectures, you will lack cutting-edge TQC. Think nano-intra-intra-dot-com. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 interfaces and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible, fractal plan of action for handling new customized enterprise, customer-defined B2C, client-focused, global implementation? Think impactful. Think end-to-end, global, back-end. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Java. The power to innovate perfectly leads to the aptitude to grow interactively. Have you ever wanted to visualize your client-focused feature set? Instantly? We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. The power to embrace virtually leads to the capability to embrace holistically. We will seize the term "client-focused". Think synergistic. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. What does it really mean to orchestrate "iteravely"? What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "bloatware" really mean? We will whiteboard the buzzword "dot-com". Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XSLT. The distributed e-business, seamless, strategic, end-to-end C2C2B accounting factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to incentivize holistically than to exploit transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to transition wirelessly than to architect virally. What does it really mean to reintermediate "nano-interactively"? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring unplanned-for mega-biometrics? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think super-virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think visionary. Think micro-reconfigurable. What does it really mean to reintermediate "efficiently"? What does it really mean to upgrade "extensibly"?