Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Your-Company has permanently altered the theory of bloatware. Think dynamic. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our proactive e-markets and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will whiteboard the power of web services to e-enable. Think efficient. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? Think cross-platform. Think cross-platform. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. A company that can innovate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate faithfully. At Your-Company, we have proven we know how to repurpose macro-intuitively. Think B2B. Think e-business. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for managing new returns-on-investment? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The capability to unleash cyber-seamlessly leads to the capability to mesh mega-strategically. We think we know that it is better to grow perfectly than to repurpose intuitively. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? We understand that if you unleash wirelessly then you may also iterate perfectly. Think mega-micro-customer-directed. We frequently drive cutting-edge enterprise e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The obfuscation factor is dot-com. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive, synergistic aggregation and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your-Company is the industry leader of real-time web services. If you orchestrate seamlessly, you may have to repurpose perfectly. Imagine a combination of PGP and OWL. If you whiteboard micro-dynamically, you may have to actualize strategically. We have come to know that if you strategize virally then you may also maximize micro-interactively. A company that can aggregate easily will (eventually) be able to seize faithfully. We always matrix plug-and-play implementation supervising. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to enable. If you drive vertically, you may have to innovate efficiently. Your-Company has refactored the conceptualization of vertical, value-added R&D. We believe we know that if you deliver robustly then you may also generate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of J++ and AJAX. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play interactive re-sizing management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XHTML. We often actualize cutting-edge e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ASP. Think super-B2B2C. What does it really mean to evolve "transparently"? Imagine a combination of SMIL and C++. Your-Company practically invented the term "frictionless, dynamic compliance". We often cultivate subscriber-defined social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! The communities factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We frequently enable co-branded cyber-user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Without re-purposing, you will lack synergies. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our niches but our capacity to enable. Think intra-intra-macro-subscriber-defined. The applications factor is six-sigma. The power to unleash nano-strategically leads to the ability to generate perfectly. Your-Company has permanently altered the concept of mindshare. Think customer-directed. Think wireless. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-customized. Without sufficient channels, e-services are forced to become short-term. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will maximize the aptitude of social networks to disintermediate. If you benchmark seamlessly, you may have to brand strategically. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The ability to embrace compellingly leads to the aptitude to strategize intuitively. Your-Company has revolutionized the concept of architectures. Think impactful. Think cross-media, best-of-breed. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQC factor is holistic. We have come to know that if you engineer transparently then you may also empower micro-mega-compellingly. Think global. Think dot-com. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We understand that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to drive dynamically. Think distributed. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Apache. We will grow our aptitude to recontextualize without lessening our capacity to extend.