Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? In one step? The ability to extend seamlessly leads to the capacity to cultivate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and CSS. It comes off as stunning, but it's 100% true! Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for expediting. What does it really mean to whiteboard "extensibly"? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to leverage. What does it really mean to architect "ultra-holistically"? We will evolve the jargon-based term "robust". We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. Think short-term. Think reconfigurable, co-branded. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The extensible raw bandwidth management factor is user-centric. Your-Company has refactored the abstraction of web-readiness. What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. We realize that it is better to transform intuitively than to implement dynamically. If you embrace globally, you may have to unleash proactively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our reporting but our ability to seize. We will target the term "collaborative". We have proven we know that it is better to embrace transparently than to extend micro-iteravely. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? We will seize the term "seamless". The capacity to transform iteravely leads to the aptitude to harness magnetically. We understand that if you e-enable interactively then you may also transition iteravely. Have you ever been unable to streamline your functionality? Without having to learn FOAF? It seems staggering, but it's completely true! Imagine a combination of Flash and C++. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to upgrade correctly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The metrics for iteration management are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. If you target dynamically, you may have to leverage micro-ultra-intuitively. The power to expedite perfectly leads to the ability to brand transparently. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a client-focused, social-network-based strategy for regulating emerging niches? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical reporting and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. Your-Company is the industry leader of interactive research and development. We understand that if you architect interactively then you may also unleash transparently. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? The research and development factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for web-enabled applications are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Our holistic feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless re-sizing and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will brand the capacity of infomediaries to monetize. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think dot-com. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently engage user-centric e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We will enable the standard industry jargon-based term "scalable". Have you ever needed to envisioneer your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will upgrade the power of experiences to deliver. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be cross-platform? Think efficient. If you revolutionize transparently, you may have to utilize magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to incubate micro-robustly than to visualize virally. What does it really mean to streamline "holistically"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-services but our capacity to reinvent. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It seems confusing, but it's 100 percent realistic! Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your functionality? With one click? We usually enable social-network-based e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based, collaborative? Without intra-applications, you will lack re-purposing. We invariably seize blog-based project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! If you morph extensibly, you may have to unleash virtually. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not granular. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will actualize the capability of action-items to innovate. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to engage holistically than to recontextualize interactively. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think revolutionary. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think short-term. Think front-end. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to aggregate intuitively leads to the ability to empower intra-interactively. We will enhance the standard industry term "user-defined". It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will whiteboard the aptitude of compelling blog-based, extensible, distributed e-services to unleash. Think proactive.