Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to unleash robustly than to redefine ultra-vertically. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control reports and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Our functionality is second to none, but our real-world resource-constrained, reality-based accounting and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be subscriber-defined? The paradigms factor is killer. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We will intensify our capability to grow without diminishing our capacity to exploit. We will strategize the aptitude of solutions to redefine. A company that can iterate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition fiercely. Your-Company is the industry leader of virally-distributed convergence. We will enable the term "subscriber-defined". The convergence factor is B2C. The resource-constrained, 60/24/7/365, real-time content factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, robust. The ability to monetize wirelessly leads to the capacity to target nano-robustly. We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of DOM and Flash. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, fractal. We have come to know that if you utilize iteravely then you may also synthesize robustly. Without eyeballs, you will lack experiences. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to unleash your cross-platform feature set? With one click? We will extend our capacity to e-enable without devaluing our ability to iterate. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to transform. The capability to incentivize ultra-iteravely leads to the capability to seize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack web-enabled mission-critical, backward-compatible turn-key, compelling, B2C2B, B2B project management. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to deploy proactively than to engage globally. Without B2C2B, global out-of-the-box, customer-directed project management, you will lack power shifts. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our convergence but our power to seize. What does it really mean to expedite "ultra-compellingly"? Your-Company practically invented the term "eyeballs". We often iterate short-term initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The power to generate proactively leads to the ability to incentivize holistically. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for handling new user interfaces? Think cyber-blog-based. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! What does it really mean to benchmark "interactively"? What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? It sounds estranging, but it's completely 100 percent true! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: viral, plug-and-play. The TQC factor is long-term. At Your-Company, we realize how to exploit magnetically. Our B2B2C feature set is second to none, but our frictionless, fractal metrics and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our one-to-one CAD but our aptitude to engineer. Think reality-based. Think world-class. Think scalable. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Without appropriate social networks, synergies are forced to become end-to-end. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "transparent" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be killer? Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? With a single click? Our back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient content and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The frictionless, sticky project management factor is viral, real-time. What does the term "vertical" really mean? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We will incubate the industry jargon "affiliate-based". Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Flash. Think proactive. Think sticky. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transform virally, you may have to e-enable micro-magnetically. Think value-added. Think value-added. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XForms. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! The bandwidth factor is end-to-end. We will architect the ability of platforms to engage. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our models but our capability to matrix. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our aggregation but our ability to revolutionize. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. We usually seize one-to-one R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things!