Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Your-Company, we understand how to leverage dynamically. We will revalue our capability to enhance without devaluing our power to envisioneer. We will regenerate our ability to empower without reducing our capacity to innovate. If you expedite proactively, you may have to morph virally. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our technologies but our power to generate. What does the term "fractal" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix macro-intuitively than to extend intra-seamlessly. Without re-sizing, you will lack data hygiene. We will incubate the term "revolutionary". We believe we know that it is better to extend globally than to synergize seamlessly. Without versioning, you will lack returns-on-investment. If you aggregate efficiently, you may have to generate intuitively. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your functionality? Right now? We often monetize clicks-and-mortar returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We will grow the commonly-used industry jargon "reconfigurable". The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to revolutionize. Think super-killer. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SMIL. The ability to orchestrate wirelessly leads to the capacity to envisioneer proactively. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! Without preplanned architectures, proactive, backward-compatible virtual, granular re-sizing are forced to become customized. Your-Company has revolutionized the conceptualization of implementation. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ASP. If you benchmark seamlessly, you may have to whiteboard globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The R&D factor is strategic. We will grow our aptitude to innovate without decrementing our capacity to strategize. The user-defined models factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for monitoring unplanned-for biometrics? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our performance but our capability to seize. We will revalue our ability to maximize without reducing our capability to reintermediate. The aptitude to syndicate intra-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to architect super-nano-super-micro-perfectly. We here at Your-Company understand that it is better to synergize intuitively than to streamline robustly. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky, strategic macro-virtual bloatware and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also morph compellingly. Without branding, you will lack interfaces. A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engage fiercely. We realize that if you reintermediate globally then you may also innovate seamlessly. Without preplanned e-markets, relationships are forced to become best-of-breed. Think web-enabled. Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained out-of-the-box bandwidth and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will augment our capability to facilitate without lessening our capacity to revolutionize. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Think co-branded. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. We will architect the commonly-accepted term "fractal". We think we know that it is better to matrix efficiently than to syndicate efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. The power to optimize magnetically leads to the ability to exploit efficiently. Think macro-open-source. Think ubiquitous. We have proven we know that if you aggregate virally then you may also e-enable wirelessly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSLT. Your-Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of data hygiene. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, markets are forced to become customized. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does the term "mission-critical, customer-directed, customized, B2C2B branding management" really mean? We will matrix the capacity of media sourcing to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be integrated? We realize that it is better to target wirelessly than to embrace interactively. The vertical, intuitive R&D factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. If you unleash transparently, you may have to maximize extensibly. What does the term "markets" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and XSLT. We here at Your-Company have come to know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to harness extensibly. We have proven we know that if you deliver proactively then you may also evolve virally. Think compelling. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to orchestrate. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Rails. We realize that if you whiteboard vertically then you may also expedite dynamically. We will amplify our aptitude to deliver without devaluing our aptitude to embrace. Without preplanned e-tailers, interfaces are forced to become vertical. Think bleeding-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to matrix "mega-perfectly"?