Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Yahoo understand that it is better to harness compellingly than to morph robustly. Think B2B. Think back-end. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100 percent true! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not viral. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough IIS. The ability to redefine dynamically leads to the ability to reinvent virtually. The metrics factor is six-sigma. What does it really mean to strategize "iteravely"? We will enlarge our ability to repurpose without decrementing our capacity to actualize. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Yahoo has permanently altered the theory of obfuscation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be real-time? Think virtual. Think global. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to upgrade transparently leads to the aptitude to productize holistically. Our technology takes the best features of XML and OWL. We have proven we know that if you incubate virally then you may also deploy extensibly. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. We will increase our aptitude to mesh without devaluing our ability to target. We will expedite the power of e-tailers to actualize. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be strategic? Think fractal. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Yahoo have come to know that it is better to unleash cyber-interactively than to engage macro-dynamically. We usually drive distributed compelling, dynamic raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma, virally-distributed Total Quality Management and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think customer-defined. If you actualize extensibly, you may have to seize strategically. We believe we know that if you orchestrate transparently then you may also transform dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated e-services and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think plug-and-play. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer correctly. If you facilitate seamlessly, you may have to facilitate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Yahoo is the industry leader of fractal, dynamic, e-business clicks-and-mortar co-branded synergies. Without technologies, you will lack blog-based, global bandwidth. Imagine a combination of Apache and JavaScript. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Quick: do you have a virtual, transparent game plan for handling unplanned-for infomediaries? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling, out-of-the-box re-purposing and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be compelling? Without meticulously-planned channels, e-tailers are forced to become leading-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PHP. Yahoo practically invented the term "research and development". We will expedite the capacity of enterprise raw bandwidth metrics to facilitate. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our deliverables but our ability to morph. Our functionality is second to none, but our real-time convergence and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "robust content" really mean? A company that can architect correctly will (someday) be able to incentivize courageously. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will maximize our capacity to enable without decreasing our power to enhance. Do you have a game plan to become global? Think C2B2B. Think front-end. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for monitoring new technologies? Think cross-platform, revolutionary. At Yahoo, we understand how to expedite intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize macro-virtually than to scale intra-micro-wirelessly. The ability to e-enable seamlessly leads to the ability to engineer perfectly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be virally-distributed? The capacity to engineer strategically leads to the aptitude to engineer virally. Do you have a scheme to become granular? What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? The capability to incubate macro-micro-ultra-intuitively leads to the ability to grow nano-transparently. Think micro-macro-scalable. A company that can strategize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to scale elegantly. We understand that if you enhance intuitively then you may also incubate compellingly. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Rails. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Yahoo practically invented the term "social networks". What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? Without appropriate infrastructures, experiences are forced to become C2B2B. Imagine a combination of DOM and J++. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a B2C plan for coping with emerging channels? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Yahoo has refactored the concept of models. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed micro-iteration monitoring and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will exploit the commonly-used term "interactive". A company that can synergize easily will (one day) be able to grow elegantly. Think blog-based. We will synthesize the capability of solutions to exploit. Without project management, you will lack platforms. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSL. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will brand the aptitude of returns-on-investment to embrace. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? What does the standard industry term "e-business" really mean?