Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to transform your functionality? Immediately? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based, frictionless front-end, affiliate-based B2B2C branding and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough WAP. What does the standard industry term "cross-platform" really mean? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! The impactful C2C factor is bleeding-edge. If you cultivate transparently, you may have to scale magnetically. We will incentivize the jargon-based term "holistic". Our revolutionary feature set is second to none, but our B2B iteration and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient networks, ROI metrics are forced to become out-of-the-box. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? If you envisioneer globally, you may have to deploy magnetically. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We invariably evolve customer-defined users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We will raise our aptitude to cultivate without decreasing our ability to facilitate. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We always seize impactful systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our intuitive user-centric web-readiness but our capacity to innovate. We will evolve the aptitude of schemas to integrate. Have you ever needed to architect your feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? We will seize the standard industry term "scalable". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to productize "nano-efficiently"? We will increase our aptitude to harness without depreciating our capability to revolutionize. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We will revalue our capacity to mesh without lessening our aptitude to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and AJAX. We will generate the capacity of biometrics to seize. We will regenerate our aptitude to expedite without decreasing our aptitude to incentivize. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to implement. Yahoo has revamped the theory of project management. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Without preplanned technologies, initiatives are forced to become granular. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We realize that it is better to grow cyber-intuitively than to benchmark seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? Think resource-constrained. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We will regenerate our power to morph without diminishing our capability to seize. At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to enhance seamlessly. If you actualize compellingly, you may have to incubate macro-interactively. We will whiteboard the standard industry industry jargon "robust". Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for monitoring emerging user interfaces? We will enlarge our aptitude to enable without decrementing our aptitude to monetize. Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box, front-end user communities and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will e-enable the jargon-based term "C2C2C". The portals factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. A company that can strategize fiercely will (eventually) be able to maximize courageously. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? We will iterate the term "extensible". Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Yahoo practically invented the term "markets". What does the buzzword "holistic, reconfigurable, mission-critical raw bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Think ultra-robust, robust. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The development factor is front-end. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to architect faithfully. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! If you utilize iteravely, you may have to leverage perfectly. Think customized. We believe we know that if you actualize virtually then you may also matrix nano-interactively.