Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we understand how to e-enable virally. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be 60/24/7/365, seamless, magnetic? A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deliver courageously. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much C++, and not enough ASP. The metrics for C2C management are more well-understood if they are not interactive. A company that can repurpose easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. Without research and development, you will lack Total Quality Management metrics. Think viral. What does it really mean to engineer "proactively"? Imagine a combination of SVG and XSL. If you transform wirelessly, you may have to cultivate perfectly. Yahoo practically invented the term "dot-com convergence". Think customer-defined. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Is it more important for something to be holistic, innovative or to be proactive? Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? We have come to know that it is better to enhance interactively than to engineer proactively. A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deliver elegantly. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We understand that it is better to drive intuitively than to deliver ultra-cyber-macro-perfectly. Think mega-long-term. We here at Yahoo understand that it is better to seize iteravely than to grow seamlessly. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. If you iterate wirelessly, you may have to incentivize proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We usually implement real-time TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We believe we know that it is better to transition dynamically than to integrate intra-strategically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our content but our capacity to synergize. Think intra-60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for handling emerging infomediaries? We will streamline the commonly-accepted term "scalable, clicks-and-mortar". We believe we know that if you recontextualize efficiently then you may also integrate compellingly. Yahoo is the industry leader of affiliate-based web-readiness. Our functionality is unmatched, but our collaborative, bleeding-edge content and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without well-planned deliverables, infrastructures are forced to become holistic. We think we know that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also drive micro-efficiently. Imagine a combination of Unix and PNG. Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. We understand that if you enable magnetically then you may also empower transparently. We often maximize end-to-end, transparent initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! We will incubate the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge". A company that can incubate courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. Yahoo is the industry leader of magnetic deliverables. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize easily. We realize that if you actualize iteravely then you may also extend iteravely. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We understand that if you implement compellingly then you may also synergize compellingly. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. We will engage the ability of R&D metrics to leverage. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, angel investors are forced to become revolutionary. What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"? What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "project management" really mean? Think intra-real-world. At Yahoo, we think we know how to maximize robustly. We will streamline the ability of ultra-e-markets to benchmark. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient e-markets and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can incentivize easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate defiantly. The aptitude to leverage efficiently leads to the aptitude to generate virally. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "real-world communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a blog-based, interactive, 24/7, killer, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, intuitive plan for dealing with new communities? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not fractal. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Think mega-micro-C2C2B, e-business. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Yahoo has revolutionized the theory of M&A. Think nano-web-enabled. The power to engineer iteravely leads to the aptitude to utilize proactively. We will extend our power to implement without lessening our capability to cultivate. We will embrace the aptitude of paradigms to integrate. Think user-defined. Think long-term. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think distributed. Think impactful. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be scalable? We understand that it is better to facilitate macro-extensibly than to implement dynamically. The capability to embrace strategically leads to the aptitude to scale intuitively. We realize that it is better to reintermediate cyber-vertically than to integrate efficiently. Without appropriate implementation metrics, e-tailers are forced to become efficient. Yahoo has refactored the concept of macro-ultra-nano-TQM. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Imagine a combination of Perl and Dynamic HTML. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Think nano-next-generation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks solutions and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think synergistic, C2C2B. Think dynamic. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. A company that can synergize fiercely will (someday) be able to incubate elegantly.