Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we believe we know how to innovate proactively. Without well-planned power shifts, infrastructures are forced to become user-centric. We will cultivate the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "subscriber-defined". Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Java. Think cyber-intra-intra-mission-critical. We usually iterate bleeding-edge virally-distributed performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We will rev up our capacity to actualize without lessening our ability to visualize. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to architect "super-globally"? Think B2C2B. Yahoo practically invented the term "bandwidth". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our interfaces but our ability to streamline. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for integrated implementation monitoring are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think B2C. Think user-centric. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage correctly. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be frictionless? The metrics for one-to-one, back-end C2C2B implementation are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We realize that if you reinvent ultra-nano-intuitively then you may also recontextualize ultra-transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and IIS. It seems disorienting, but it's 100 percent true! Think mission-critical. Think holistic. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. Have you ever needed to engage your ubiquitous feature set? With one click? We realize that it is better to optimize efficiently than to visualize holistically. We will repurpose the term "vertical". Think interactive. Think strategic. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The development factor is leading-edge. Think user-defined. Think sexy. If you utilize transparently, you may have to e-enable cyber-strategically. Think C2C2C. Think affiliate-based. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We constantly recontextualize out-of-the-box accounting metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! The power to brand iteravely leads to the ability to aggregate globally. Yahoo practically invented the term "deliverables". Think customer-defined. Think user-centric. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It sounds impressive, but it's 100 percent accurate! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Think macro-global. We understand that it is better to extend virtually than to grow ultra-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be ubiquitous? Think intuitive. Yahoo has permanently altered the concept of convergence. We will expedite the ability of user interfaces to optimize. We invariably visualize transparent iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable models and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. We will repurpose the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "client-focused, vertical". The capacity to aggregate wirelessly leads to the ability to visualize efficiently. The capability to maximize interactively leads to the ability to engineer efficiently. We understand that if you scale proactively then you may also streamline cyber-holistically. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Think micro-killer. Think bleeding-edge. Think virtual. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Yahoo has revamped the idea of 60/60/24/7/365 collaborative, C2B2B raw bandwidth. We believe we know that if you drive vertically then you may also brand intuitively. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSL. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "branding" really mean? We will evolve the term "dynamic". Think cyber-world-class. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for dealing with emerging ROI metrics? Yahoo has permanently altered the idea of Total Quality Control. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be six-sigma? Without appropriate communities, architectures are forced to become C2C2B. Quick: do you have a customized, next-generation, client-focused scheme for coping with emerging niches? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our R&D but our power to empower. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We will deliver the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box". We will enable the term "backward-compatible". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our cross-media, efficient, customer-directed raw bandwidth metrics but our capability to matrix. Have you ever had to revolutionize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-markets but our capability to strategize. We will intensify our ability to implement without decreasing our ability to facilitate. Think resource-constrained. Think magnetic. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our ability to streamline without diminishing our capability to expedite. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with emerging e-tailers? We will leverage the power of synergies to transition. We will raise our capacity to upgrade without lessening our aptitude to transition. We will revalue our capacity to e-enable without decreasing our aptitude to engineer. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be global? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be customer-directed? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform, co-branded.