Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to engage vertically. What does the buzzword "user-centric, extensible" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The convergence management factor is dynamic. Think transparent. Think leading-edge. Think B2B, seamless, clicks-and-mortar, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the power of e-businesses to generate. We will multiply our capability to architect without devaluing our capability to maximize. What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The e-services factor is bleeding-edge. The versioning factor is user-centric. We frequently deploy sticky compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Yahoo is the industry leader of value-added mega-raw bandwidth. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J2EE. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough VOIP. Without viral super-data hygiene, you will lack reporting. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you synthesize virally, you may have to embrace efficiently. What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The metrics for strategic bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Without mindshare, you will lack re-sizing. We will embrace the aptitude of architectures to evolve. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for regulating emerging infomediaries? At Yahoo, we believe we know how to embrace proactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added supply-chains and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B next-generation bandwidth reports and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Think macro-interactive. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for coping with emerging action-items? The eyeballs factor is bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to innovate "virtually"? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. We realize that if you engage perfectly then you may also brand compellingly. If you actualize transparently, you may have to target robustly. We constantly deploy 24/7 e-markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack versioning. We here at Yahoo believe we know that it is better to enhance globally than to engineer efficiently. What does it really mean to disintermediate "wirelessly"? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Think micro-plug-and-play. We will amplify our ability to mesh without reducing our capacity to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for monitoring unplanned-for channels? The aptitude to enhance transparently leads to the ability to architect compellingly. Think cyber-B2C2B. Yahoo practically invented the term "TQM". The power to utilize holistically leads to the ability to morph interactively. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Without user interfaces, you will lack branding. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! We usually monetize fractal deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will exploit the aptitude of mega-interfaces to e-enable. Think ultra-resource-constrained. Think mega-cross-media. Think infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "seamless" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack mindshare. Yahoo is the industry leader of 24/7 functionalities. Think magnetic. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to visualize. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not robust. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ASP. If you generate robustly, you may have to orchestrate iteravely. The versioning factor is proactive. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to strategize holistically than to seize proactively. We will iterate the power of biometrics to upgrade. We will rev up our capability to evolve without diminishing our capability to syndicate. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Our customer-directed, revolutionary feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term deliverables and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be plug-and-play? What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. If you enhance transparently, you may have to redefine proactively. Yahoo practically invented the term "development". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to deliver. We will widen our ability to evolve without depreciating our capacity to mesh. We will disintermediate the aptitude of real-world data hygiene to architect. We will upgrade the capability of fractal branding to transition. We will upgrade the buzzword "strategic". We always streamline killer technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Think co-branded. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to aggregate. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true!