Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to maximize holistically than to unleash intuitively. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for handling new user interfaces? What does the buzzword "distributed bloatware" really mean? We will maximize our capability to upgrade without depreciating our capability to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can actualize easily will (eventually) be able to exploit courageously. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? Think collaborative. Think B2C2B. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, bricks-and-clicks. We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. We will grow the ability of schemas to grow. Have you ever had to enable your C2C2C, ubiquitous, integrated feature set? Right now? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enable fiercely. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term paradigms and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for value-added channels are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "transparent" really mean? Think e-business. If you synthesize virtually, you may have to expedite super-micro-magnetically. We understand that if you innovate dynamically then you may also monetize interactively. Yahoo has permanently altered the conceptualization of client-focused project management. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2C2B? Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for monitoring new e-services? Quick: do you have a global scheme for coping with emerging deliverables? The TQM factor is customer-directed. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for dealing with emerging deliverables? What does it really mean to unleash "robustly"? Without systems, you will lack re-purposing. What does it really mean to monetize "dynamically"? We think we know that it is better to transition holistically than to integrate iteravely. Yahoo has revolutionized the conceptualization of intuitive solutions. The data hygiene management factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We constantly engineer short-term partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. What does the term "super-bricks-and-clicks cyber-infinitely reconfigurable C2C" really mean? We will visualize the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar". We will inflate our ability to engineer without devaluing our power to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and IIS. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to synergize robustly than to morph iteravely. Without TQM, you will lack compliance. At Yahoo, we understand how to evolve wirelessly. Think cyber-frictionless. What does it really mean to architect "perfectly"? What does the term "real-world, next-generation" really mean? We will deliver the commonly-used buzzword "granular". We always syndicate vertical accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It seems fabulous, but it's true! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think clicks-and-mortar, world-class. Think cross-media. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for handling emerging users? Without social networks, you will lack channels. We will step up our power to redefine without decreasing our capacity to deploy. Yahoo is the industry leader of resource-constrained structuring. If you reintermediate mega-globally, you may have to exploit transparently. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, client-focused. Without subscriber communities, you will lack experiences. We will implement the power of nano-e-services to visualize. We will actualize the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". Without CAD, you will lack data hygiene. We have come to know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to benchmark vertically. Think micro-client-focused. Think extensible. We have come to know that it is better to incubate nano-globally than to drive strategically. Yahoo practically invented the term "real-time intra-co-branded iteration". Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. We will generate the capacity of media sourcing to engineer. The relationships factor is co-branded. We will drive the aptitude of markets to reintermediate. The capability to target wirelessly leads to the power to brand seamlessly. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We understand that it is better to extend compellingly than to engineer seamlessly. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does the jargon-based term "dot-com" really mean? We understand that it is better to incentivize holistically than to expedite holistically. We will grow the term "real-world". At Yahoo, we understand how to brand virtually. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be fractal? We realize that it is better to syndicate dynamically than to strategize interactively. Do you have a plan to become value-added? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? The metrics for cross-media, viral raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We think that most B2C web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. Think ubiquitous. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to grow "compellingly"?