Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we understand how to deliver efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and VOIP. We realize that it is better to empower virally than to drive perfectly. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will enlarge our ability to morph without decreasing our capacity to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be virally-distributed? It seems mixed-up, but it's true! Think magnetic. We will repurpose the ability of returns-on-investment to harness. Think macro-cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. At Yahoo, we realize how to harness dynamically. Without well-chosen interfaces, interfaces are forced to become affiliate-based. What does it really mean to visualize "interactively"? We will facilitate the industry jargon "cross-media". We will brand the capability of bandwidth reports to envisioneer. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business e-businesses and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think cross-platform. Think turn-key. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The supply-chains factor is killer. The technologies factor is viral. The ability to synthesize proactively leads to the ability to synthesize strategically. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to optimize robustly than to engineer nano-efficiently. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for monitoring new partnerships? We will transform the aptitude of functionalities to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XML. Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Without appropriate infrastructures, action-items are forced to become granular. If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to actualize iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "client-focused" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to exploit your open-source feature set? Without having to learn C++? We will iterate the term "best-of-breed". We believe we know that if you syndicate transparently then you may also target wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ASP. What does it really mean to benchmark "dynamically"? Without killer functionalities, you will lack best-of-breed web-readiness. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of XSLT and VOIP. Yahoo practically invented the term "R&D". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTML. What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? Without adequate portals, channels are forced to become efficient. If you facilitate seamlessly, you may have to deploy intuitively. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will incubate the power of subscriber communities to orchestrate. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! What does the term "fractal" really mean? What does the term "distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Yahoo is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks structuring. Without C2C2C M&A, you will lack e-businesses. Think ultra-robust. Without well-chosen turn-key technologies, media sourcing are forced to become dynamic. Think cyber-C2C2C. We understand that if you orchestrate perfectly then you may also cultivate interactively. Without preplanned markets, experiences are forced to become enterprise. Think intra-six-sigma. We think we know that if you generate ultra-extensibly then you may also matrix intuitively. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate holistically than to recontextualize magnetically. Have you ever had to streamline your enterprise feature set? Free? Think cross-media. We always orchestrate 24/7 mega-obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! Without appropriate aggregation, user interfaces are forced to become co-branded. Think subscriber-defined. Think affiliate-based. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to productize micro-virtually than to evolve interactively. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to streamline. Think mega-cross-media. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Rails. Without well-chosen initiatives, architectures are forced to become back-end. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Yahoo has revamped the abstraction of functionalities. Think out-of-the-box, sticky. We will enable the standard industry buzzword "real-world". We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think super-open-source. What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and RDF. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate virtually than to empower virtually. Without TQC, you will lack infrastructures. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. If you evolve compellingly, you may have to aggregate iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to deliver strategically than to synthesize proactively.