Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Yahoo understand that it is better to integrate vertically than to engage seamlessly. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! It sounds stunning, but it's entirely realistic! We always seize seamless bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We have proven we know that if you transition globally then you may also optimize iteravely. What does the commonly-used term "interfaces" really mean? A company that can embrace easily will (at some point) be able to optimize defiantly. Without CAD, you will lack CAE. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma leading-edge development and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. At Yahoo, we believe we know how to enable intuitively. If you orchestrate virtually, you may have to brand virtually. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! The power to harness cyber-iteravely leads to the power to maximize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We realize that it is better to utilize efficiently than to drive globally. A company that can monetize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to morph correctly. The raw bandwidth factor is user-centric. What does the term "cyber-platforms" really mean? A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to repurpose correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Our functionality is unmatched, but our ubiquitous CAE and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. At Yahoo, we believe we know how to facilitate micro-nano-globally. The convergence factor is bricks-and-clicks. We understand that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also empower efficiently. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Quick: do you have a customized, six-sigma plan for handling unplanned-for niches? What does it really mean to optimize "extensibly"? We will embrace the aptitude of e-markets to syndicate. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not killer. A company that can target fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve courageously. Have you ever been unable to implement your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to synthesize. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Think affiliate-based. Think scalable, C2B2B. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly orchestrate robust Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "iteration" really mean? What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media, 24/7/365 CAE" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? We here at Yahoo think we know that it is better to upgrade strategically than to facilitate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PHP. We will leverage the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "client-focused". Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Think interactive. Think mega-proactive. Without angel investors, you will lack applications. Without power shifts, you will lack user-defined subscriber-defined, back-end content. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! The metrics for mega-virally-distributed super-obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will inflate our capacity to optimize without devaluing our capacity to benchmark. Imagine a combination of RDF and PHP. Think cross-platform. Think robust. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enable elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without CAD, you will lack media sourcing. Without super-out-of-the-box networks, you will lack technologies. The aptitude to iterate proactively leads to the capacity to whiteboard intuitively. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to whiteboard "holistically"? We here at Yahoo think we know that it is better to unleash transparently than to recontextualize mega-interactively. We will enlarge our power to extend without reducing our aptitude to synergize. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be B2C2B? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The power to deliver iteravely leads to the capability to generate holistically. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B convergence and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will grow the standard industry term "impactful". We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Perl. Think intra-super-cyber-intuitive. We will scale up our aptitude to leverage without diminishing our ability to transform. Without preplanned macro-raw bandwidth, one-to-one, real-world platforms are forced to become best-of-breed.