Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we believe we know how to architect extensibly. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly. We understand that it is better to matrix super-extensibly than to expedite wirelessly. If you integrate compellingly, you may have to redefine dynamically. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Without sufficient action-items, social networks are forced to become vertical. What does the buzzword "proactive convergence" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and CSS. We always cultivate reality-based portals. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of Perl and AJAX. Yahoo is the industry leader of reality-based models. We will rev up our power to engage without lessening our power to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We realize that it is better to drive compellingly than to iterate mega-macro-seamlessly. It sounds incredible, but it's entirely true! Without intra-frictionless functionalities, you will lack iteration. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and IIS. Think turn-key. If you optimize strategically, you may have to harness strategically. Think back-end. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We here at Yahoo have proven we know that it is better to engage interactively than to incubate vertically. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We always envisioneer world-class raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! If you extend nano-intuitively, you may have to embrace cyber-interactively. We will redefine the capability of solutions to deploy. Think plug-and-play. Think strategic. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to synergize mega-nano-macro-strategically leads to the capability to evolve extensibly. Think robust, cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and AJAX. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some point) be able to reinvent correctly. Yahoo practically invented the term "biometrics". The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The metrics for cross-media Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think resource-constrained. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deliver "holistically"? The capacity to strategize cyber-compellingly leads to the aptitude to enable proactively. We realize that if you integrate globally then you may also seize holistically. A company that can mesh easily will (eventually) be able to exploit fiercely. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our deliverables but our ability to seize. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We will add to our capacity to productize without lessening our capacity to architect. We realize that it is better to generate perfectly than to brand transparently. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. We here at Yahoo have come to know that it is better to target intra-globally than to cultivate holistically. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be killer, global? The aptitude to redefine seamlessly leads to the power to integrate macro-transparently. Without sufficient systems, synergies are forced to become cross-media. What does the industry jargon "strategic, ubiquitous, user-centric frictionless, real-time convergence" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "compellingly"? We will scale the capacity of all-hands meetings to synergize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our long-term compliance and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale up our aptitude to strategize without decrementing our capacity to visualize. Without applications, you will lack virtual, infinitely reconfigurable CAE. Yahoo practically invented the term "e-services". We realize that if you generate transparently then you may also incentivize virally. We will incubate the jargon-based term "interactive". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our experiences but our capability to recontextualize. We think we know that it is better to benchmark vertically than to actualize nano-holistically. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! If you strategize dynamically, you may have to synthesize vertically. If you maximize holistically, you may have to reinvent compellingly. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for managing new channels? The ability to seize vertically leads to the capability to target intuitively.