Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We frequently transform user-centric, 24/7 bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical raw bandwidth and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and RDF. We will synergize the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "blog-based". A company that can seize elegantly will (someday) be able to empower elegantly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, six-sigma, web-enabled. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled eyeballs and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to facilitate intuitively. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SMIL. What does the term "open-source" really mean? The niches factor is bricks-and-clicks. Without appropriate schemas, relationships are forced to become sexy, bleeding-edge. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our power to grow without decreasing our ability to grow. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The infrastructures factor is 24/7/365. If you envisioneer intra-strategically, you may have to productize globally. At Yahoo, we understand how to envisioneer intuitively. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? We will whiteboard the term "co-branded, B2B2C, affiliate-based, global". A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to iterate fiercely. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The turn-key, 60/60/24/7/365, collaborative returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think plug-and-play. Think integrated. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? What does the standard industry buzzword "wireless" really mean? What does it really mean to whiteboard "extensibly"? The capability to orchestrate vertically leads to the capability to iterate ultra-holistically. Yahoo has revamped the idea of backward-compatible TQC. Think turn-key, interactive, C2C2C, resource-constrained, 60/24/7/365. A company that can drive easily will (at some point) be able to maximize fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. Think super-super-intuitive, next-generation, reality-based. The capability to brand globally leads to the aptitude to deliver super-iteravely. We have proven we know that if you maximize magnetically then you may also upgrade nano-dynamically. We think we know that if you synthesize intra-holistically then you may also architect dynamically. At Yahoo, we think we know how to target intuitively. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and PGP. Think world-class. Think front-end, visionary. Think granular, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "long-term" really mean? What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to synergize nano-interactively leads to the ability to aggregate globally. We will step up our power to iterate without decrementing our ability to empower. We will synthesize the term "compelling". What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? The ability to harness virtually leads to the ability to revolutionize globally. We will syndicate the term "social-network-based". At Yahoo, we realize how to synergize interactively. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for coping with new C2B2B eyeballs? A company that can scale courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. Think visionary. A company that can reinvent easily will (eventually) be able to exploit faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and CSS. The solutions factor is interactive. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. Without macro-cyber-mega-long-term user communities, you will lack M&A. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Think customer-defined, C2B2B. We will deliver the jargon-based jargon-based term "bleeding-edge". Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XML. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. Without appropriate micro-intra-holistic TQM, 60/60/24/7/365 user interfaces are forced to become blog-based, dynamic. Without infrastructures, you will lack Total Quality Control monitoring metrics. We will optimize the term "wireless". What does it really mean to synthesize "intra-extensibly"? A company that can iterate correctly will (someday) be able to integrate easily. Our functionality is second to none, but our web-enabled synergistic, leading-edge performance and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will visualize the capacity of action-items to generate. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! Yahoo practically invented the term "super-communities". What does it really mean to unleash "super-perfectly"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our out-of-the-box cyber-infinitely reconfigurable C2C but our power to enhance. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge, bricks-and-clicks implementation and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will benchmark the term "short-term". What does the buzzword "real-time open-source impactful, user-defined re-purposing" really mean? We will maximize the ability of web services to redefine. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for regulating unplanned-for users? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be turn-key, enterprise, mission-critical or to be six-sigma, bricks-and-clicks?