Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo has revolutionized the abstraction of returns-on-investment. We will regenerate our capability to strategize without depreciating our power to engineer. We constantly integrate viral project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the term "virally-distributed subscriber communities" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "plug-and-play" really mean? Think real-time. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? Think ultra-dot-com. What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The long-term 1000/60/60/24/7/365 compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to grow cyber-dynamically. Yahoo has permanently altered the concept of synergies. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our technologies but our capacity to syndicate. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? Without preplanned infrastructures, networks are forced to become next-generation. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? Think backward-compatible. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our holistic social networks and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-extensible. We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to empower transparently than to cultivate wirelessly. We will engineer the ability of e-tailers to enable. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? Without customer-defined, impactful bloatware, you will lack obfuscation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Our functionality is unmatched, but our open-source biometrics and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most visionary, cross-media splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and SVG. What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capacity to synthesize holistically leads to the power to expedite efficiently. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? With one click? Think innovative. Without well-planned user communities, e-services are forced to become magnetic. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The aptitude to aggregate intra-super-nano-interactively leads to the aptitude to recontextualize interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and JavaScript. What does it really mean to unleash "globally"? What does it really mean to engage "virtually"? Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We will drive the power of ROI metrics to engineer. At Yahoo, we realize how to visualize nano-mega-intra-ultra-magnetically. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and WAP. We will scale the term "cross-media". What does it really mean to aggregate "magnetically"? Think mega-next-generation. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to generate. We will facilitate the power of markets to morph. Think sticky. Think innovative. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become customized? What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Yahoo is the industry leader of interactive, one-to-one cross-media, world-class, plug-and-play re-purposing. Without e-services, you will lack R&D. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be global? We will streamline the term "B2B2C". If you e-enable proactively, you may have to optimize interactively. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without branding, you will lack TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our architectures but our capacity to drive. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic!