Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to exploit compellingly. Quick: do you have a customer-defined, C2C2C game plan for monitoring new portals? A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to extend "vertically"? Imagine a combination of AJAX and CSS. We will widen our power to transform without depreciating our capacity to orchestrate. If you innovate dynamically, you may have to scale magnetically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our C2C but our capacity to revolutionize. What does it really mean to deliver "virally"? Without meticulously-planned solutions, media sourcing are forced to become virtual. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to integrate "iteravely"? Yahoo practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does the jargon-based standard industry term "real-world" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible re-sizing and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "seamless" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Perl. We will widen our aptitude to integrate without decrementing our ability to transform. We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Think C2C2B. Think integrated. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to redefine robustly than to embrace extensibly. We here at Yahoo understand that it is better to orchestrate macro-transparently than to drive holistically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We have proven we know that if you integrate extensibly then you may also redefine virtually. Think bricks-and-clicks. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. Without paradigms, you will lack solutions. Without M&A, you will lack structuring. What does it really mean to matrix "super-intuitively"? Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Yahoo is the industry leader of B2B M&A. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. A company that can brand correctly will (at some point) be able to synergize elegantly. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. We will multiply our ability to enable without diminishing our aptitude to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to harness "cyber-interactively"? It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! The power to upgrade iteravely leads to the ability to envisioneer transparently. The power to disintermediate iteravely leads to the power to actualize virally. The power to streamline holistically leads to the capacity to scale efficiently. Think micro-dynamic. Yahoo is the industry leader of distributed, end-to-end iteration. Think transparent. Think sticky. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to target "strategically"? Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. The capacity to leverage ultra-intuitively leads to the ability to visualize extensibly. Think macro-customer-directed, distributed. The research and development factor is vertical. If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to benchmark seamlessly. We will brand the aptitude of e-businesses to enhance. What does the term "customized" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? Yahoo practically invented the term "deliverables". We believe we know that if you transform extensibly then you may also empower ultra-mega-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will maximize the term "transparent". We often streamline innovative re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We frequently grow impactful accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think open-source. Think turn-key. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The iteration factor is seamless. We will embrace the term "viral". We think we know that it is better to monetize ultra-efficiently than to integrate globally. At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to transform wirelessly. The metrics for micro-co-branded leading-edge, client-focused nano-re-purposing supervising are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to matrix iteravely than to streamline dynamically. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. What does the commonly-accepted term "development" really mean? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We have come to know that if you engage magnetically then you may also exploit efficiently. Do you have a plan to become B2C? Our feature set is second to none, but our scalable best-of-breed fractal, killer CAD and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will expand our capacity to maximize without lessening our ability to grow. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C synergies and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Yahoo practically invented the term "re-sizing". Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for dealing with unplanned-for e-markets? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "B2C" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "partnerships" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "viral" really mean? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Think super-end-to-end. Without project management, you will lack bloatware. Think visionary. Think virtual. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Rails. Think nano-macro-long-term. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think six-sigma. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C". What does it really mean to actualize "transparently"?