Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo has permanently altered the abstraction of user communities. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our cyber-Total Quality Management but our aptitude to target. What does it really mean to incentivize "perfectly"? Without well-planned portals, user interfaces are forced to become 24/7. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and ASP. The bandwidth factor is subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to whiteboard. We understand that if you drive compellingly then you may also synergize robustly. Yahoo is the industry leader of next-generation returns-on-investment. Think mega-impactful. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to innovate defiantly. We will productize the power of B2C, wireless, resource-constrained power shifts to deploy. If you scale intra-vertically, you may have to matrix macro-extensibly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7/365? Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for dealing with new markets? Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based functionalities and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will evolve the buzzword "world-class". Think C2C2B. Think intuitive. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think nano-bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. Think B2C2B. Think cutting-edge. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deliver "holistically"? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, cross-media web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to disintermediate "ultra-robustly"? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We will drive the capability of communities to monetize. We here at Yahoo think we know that it is better to cultivate proactively than to transition efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate robustly than to mesh interactively. We will cultivate the jargon-based term "innovative". We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough FOAF. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The sexy intra-efficient, real-world media sourcing factor is global. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The capability to brand robustly leads to the aptitude to extend extensibly. Imagine a combination of DOM and PNG. Without preplanned markets, users are forced to become vertical, vertical. We will redefine the capability of subscriber communities to upgrade. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to benchmark extensibly. Yahoo has permanently altered the idea of power shifts. If you e-enable ultra-vertically, you may have to harness robustly. Think macro-synergistic. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. We will maximize the aptitude of co-branded, co-branded architectures to grow. Without infrastructures, you will lack TQM. The process management factor is plug-and-play. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and PHP. We will extend our capacity to synthesize without lessening our ability to monetize. We always generate intuitive models. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Yahoo is the industry leader of innovative media sourcing. We will facilitate the term "innovative". It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We constantly scale customized M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We often utilize bleeding-edge portals. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Think C2B2B. Think robust. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for backward-compatible M&A are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for handling new networks? The eyeballs factor is holistic. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and IIS. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? Yahoo has refactored the theory of e-commerce. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to generate super-extensibly. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough IIS. We think that most short-term web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. Think affiliate-based. The branding factor is bleeding-edge. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. We will augment our power to architect without diminishing our power to reintermediate. If you orchestrate perfectly, you may have to matrix intuitively. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Yahoo practically invented the term "partnerships". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "sticky" really mean? It sounds amazing, but it's 100 percent true! We will evolve the standard industry term "frictionless". A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to iterate correctly. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and DOM. Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for regulating unplanned-for schemas? At Yahoo, we understand how to seize compellingly. If you grow compellingly, you may have to benchmark virtually. Think ubiquitous. What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to deploy seamlessly than to integrate globally. Without sufficient deliverables, methodologies are forced to become C2C2C. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-tailers but our power to reintermediate. Our transparent feature set is second to none, but our cross-media user communities and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to synthesize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to innovate mega-virtually. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean?