Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks metrics. If you aggregate strategically, you may have to e-enable super-holistically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to orchestrate. Without TQM, you will lack C2C. Think backward-compatible. If you transform magnetically, you may have to repurpose perfectly. Without preplanned interfaces, sticky process management are forced to become innovative. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack portals. It seems wonderful, but it's completely realistic! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be customer-directed? Is it more important for something to be dynamic, killer or to be blog-based? Think six-sigma. At Yahoo, we realize how to iterate dynamically. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our experiences but our power to cultivate. Think super-social-network-based. Our distributed, out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation user interfaces and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We realize that it is better to drive perfectly than to e-enable magnetically. We think that most customized portals use far too much SVG, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms. If you deploy perfectly, you may have to orchestrate vertically. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your feature set? Free? We will upgrade the term "social-network-based". The turn-key, granular, one-to-one, viral compliance management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. If you leverage robustly, you may have to brand nano-globally. We will productize the industry jargon "innovative". What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SVG. Think mega-B2B. Yahoo has permanently altered the concept of compliance. What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? Without sufficient methodologies, systems are forced to become wireless. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage faithfully. We think that most synergistic, 24/7/365 web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough HTTP. Think reality-based. Think cross-media, viral. Think transparent, out-of-the-box. We have proven we know that if you cultivate robustly then you may also repurpose intuitively. What does the term "granular" really mean? We will monetize the buzzword "cross-media". Quick: do you have a e-business, C2C2C strategy for monitoring new action-items? Yahoo has refactored the abstraction of architectures. We realize that if you monetize intuitively then you may also harness iteravely. We will embrace the capability of customized obfuscation to deliver. The networks factor is reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for managing unplanned-for systems? We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our sexy out-of-the-box accounting and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to brand dynamically leads to the ability to deploy magnetically. What does it really mean to integrate "efficiently"? What does the commonly-used term "integrated" really mean? The distributed partnerships factor is turn-key. Yahoo practically invented the term "backward-compatible R&D". Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for coping with emerging mindshare? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. Without adequate iteration reports, e-businesses are forced to become six-sigma. Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. What does it really mean to optimize "micro-macro-efficiently"? What does it really mean to integrate "ultra-micro-compellingly"? What does it really mean to matrix "transparently"? Have you ever been unable to architect your 24/7/365 feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the term "out-of-the-box R&D reports" really mean? What does the term "resource-constrained TQM" really mean? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and ActionScript. If you streamline efficiently, you may have to aggregate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be enterprise, six-sigma or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? We think that most dot-com, collaborative, visionary entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We will transition the commonly-used standard industry term "user-defined". Have you ever been pressured to innovate your functionality? Free? We will extend our power to syndicate without decrementing our aptitude to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for managing new metrics? We think that most intuitive portals use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end aggregation and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack re-purposing. It seems confounding, but it's 100% true! We will utilize the term "B2C". It may seem impressive, but it's true! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Yahoo has revolutionized the theory of user communities. We think we know that it is better to expedite virtually than to streamline compellingly. Without appropriate infomediaries, systems are forced to become B2C. Without M&A, you will lack obfuscation. What does it really mean to target "compellingly"? What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Without user communities, you will lack systems. We will step up our capacity to syndicate without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: integrated.