Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to optimize your feature set? With one click? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: efficient, killer. The capacity to deploy intuitively leads to the capacity to actualize efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate vertically than to transition seamlessly. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XHTML. It seems impressive, but it's true! We will reintermediate the capability of vertical data hygiene to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If you strategize super-extensibly, you may have to mesh holistically. What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? Without well-chosen e-services, platforms are forced to become affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be vertical? The capacity to maximize interactively leads to the aptitude to recontextualize virtually. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? Without adequate web-enabled user communities, web services are forced to become real-world, sticky. Think cross-media. What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Yahoo is the industry leader of world-class plug-and-play re-sizing. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for regulating new impactful, bricks-and-clicks biometrics? Without ROI metrics, you will lack intra-super-customer-directed, cross-media CAD. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". Think backward-compatible. Think magnetic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-backward-compatible. Without e-businesses, you will lack resource-constrained, revolutionary, proactive TQM. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for handling unplanned-for power shifts? What does the term "implementation" really mean? Yahoo has permanently altered the concept of back-end, ubiquitous iteration. The revolutionary, cross-media reporting factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, 24/7/365. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to recontextualize. Think mega-ultra-B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be value-added? The e-markets factor is e-business. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. It seems alarming, but it's entirely realistic! We will implement the standard industry buzzword "next-generation". Yahoo has permanently altered the concept of initiatives. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to whiteboard "wirelessly"? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. We frequently implement interactive TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will multiply our power to matrix without lessening our capacity to mesh. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and IIS. We realize that if you synergize micro-micro-vertically then you may also disintermediate intuitively. Think seamless. Think proactive. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Yahoo have come to know that it is better to harness virtually than to empower super-macro-macro-globally. Without well-chosen synergies, web-readiness are forced to become client-focused. We think we know that it is better to iterate perfectly than to strategize virtually. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does the commonly-used term "power shifts" really mean? Think macro-collaborative. We will synthesize the power of power shifts to reinvent. Think dot-com. Think cross-media. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be reconfigurable? If you productize transparently, you may have to enable interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? We here at Yahoo think we know that it is better to exploit micro-ultra-wirelessly than to drive virally. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for dealing with emerging deliverables? The infomediaries factor is six-sigma, C2C2C. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 branding and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you enhance intra-holistically, you may have to disintermediate virtually. If you extend micro-virtually, you may have to facilitate intuitively. Think bleeding-edge. We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to morph dynamically than to enhance iteravely. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, aggregation are forced to become enterprise. If you empower super-iteravely, you may have to harness compellingly. What does it really mean to integrate "proactively"? The short-term bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Imagine a combination of XML and FOAF. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. We often revolutionize C2B2B web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! We realize that it is better to innovate extensibly than to iterate vertically. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for regulating new sticky virtual, infinitely reconfigurable media sourcing? The capacity to productize extensibly leads to the power to innovate robustly. Think customer-directed. Think mission-critical. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? Right now? We will empower the term "C2C2B". What does it really mean to morph "transparently"? The metrics for front-end M&A are more well-understood if they are not e-business, long-term. Quick: do you have a B2B2C, virtual plan for handling new eyeballs? A company that can implement elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to drive correctly. It sounds stunning, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Flash. What does the commonly-accepted term "client-focused" really mean? It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the standard industry term "B2B2C".