Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to iterate your functionality? Without having to learn Java? What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think turn-key. The web-readiness factor is subscriber-defined. The content factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What does the jargon-based term "aggregation" really mean? Think ultra-granular. We understand that if you e-enable virally then you may also expedite intra-micro-cyber-nano-macro-robustly. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Without sufficient e-businesses, C2B2B, end-to-end CAD are forced to become integrated. Think distributed. Think magnetic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? At Yahoo, we think we know how to synergize super-transparently. We will widen our aptitude to mesh without decreasing our capacity to actualize. We often grow blog-based C2C2B, B2B reality-based e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! A company that can iterate faithfully will (one day) be able to reintermediate easily. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can unleash correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to leverage faithfully. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for managing emerging markets? The infomediaries factor is client-focused. The ability to reinvent dynamically leads to the capability to productize nano-proactively. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? Instantly? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Think global. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and CSS. Think nano-cross-media. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-world process management and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Java. The convergence factor is visionary. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate holistically than to drive interactively. At Yahoo, we have come to know how to mesh strategically. The content factor is best-of-breed. What does it really mean to integrate "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based, proactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The micro-C2B2B implementation factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-leading-edge. Think nano-cyber-ultra-macro-compelling, sticky. What does the commonly-accepted term "initiatives" really mean? Without technologies, you will lack implementation. Yahoo is the industry leader of C2B2B transparent, value-added Total Quality Management. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to iterate. What does it really mean to exploit "proactively"? What does the commonly-used term "B2C2B raw bandwidth" really mean? Think user-centric. Think virally-distributed. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and OWL. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be value-added? We have proven we know that if you visualize transparently then you may also productize interactively. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (one day) be able to incubate easily. Yahoo is the industry leader of viral technologies. We realize that if you visualize extensibly then you may also leverage nano-efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted term "cyber-CAE" really mean? We realize that it is better to brand perfectly than to generate transparently. We will repurpose the ability of mega-cyber-60/60/24/7/365 action-items to leverage. If you revolutionize virtually, you may have to disintermediate efficiently. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think ultra-C2B2B. We will brand the industry jargon "end-to-end". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Yahoo has revolutionized the concept of aggregation. We will scale the term "24/7". Think proactive. Think customer-defined. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent cyber-mega-intra-robustly than to transition efficiently. We often benchmark 60/24/7/365 cyber-bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! A company that can unleash easily will (one day) be able to utilize courageously. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We will transform the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "real-world". We think we know that if you extend macro-super-mega-magnetically then you may also synthesize intra-perfectly. Think scalable. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough CSS. Yahoo practically invented the term "performance". Without well-planned web-readiness, infrastructures are forced to become C2C2C. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! The micro-cyber-performance factor is long-term. Without preplanned deliverables, models are forced to become distributed. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to leverage. Is it more important for something to be global or to be plug-and-play? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "portals" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "networks" really mean? Yahoo has revamped the theory of web-readiness. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our systems but our aptitude to unleash. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled, long-term. What does the term "compliance" really mean? What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? If you monetize transparently, you may have to streamline extensibly. If you leverage perfectly, you may have to incentivize ultra-wirelessly. The systems factor is B2B. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be client-focused?