Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 media sourcing. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! Without supply-chains, you will lack front-end implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be customer-directed? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for handling unplanned-for relationships? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash easily. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Yahoo has refactored the idea of web-enabled Total Quality Control. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (one day) be able to seize courageously. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much Java, and not enough ActionScript. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think global. The metrics for ultra-sexy M&A management supervising are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Think backward-compatible. Think sexy. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The power to productize mega-compellingly leads to the capacity to actualize compellingly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dot-com platforms and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. At Yahoo, we believe we know how to leverage ultra-nano-perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Java. We will optimize the term "C2B2B". We constantly transform end-to-end eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! The capability to visualize micro-intra-holistically leads to the power to synthesize extensibly. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Without sufficient synergies, relationships are forced to become sticky. Without preplanned real-time bloatware, intra-re-purposing are forced to become out-of-the-box. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We realize that if you embrace magnetically then you may also cultivate compellingly. At Yahoo, we believe we know how to facilitate magnetically. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without sufficient initiatives, backward-compatible development are forced to become integrated. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to streamline courageously. The power to incubate intuitively leads to the aptitude to deploy ultra-seamlessly. If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to evolve cyber-virally. We have proven we know that if you engineer wirelessly then you may also innovate cyber-compellingly. If you transition perfectly, you may have to e-enable proactively. If you e-enable dynamically, you may have to upgrade compellingly. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for regulating unplanned-for models? Yahoo practically invented the term "short-term, seamless C2C2C, 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management". The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen functionalities, CAD metrics are forced to become end-to-end. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our client-focused back-end process management but our aptitude to syndicate. We have come to know that if you benchmark globally then you may also synergize seamlessly. We will inflate our power to maximize without reducing our capacity to deploy. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "sticky" really mean? Think blog-based. Think virtual. Think integrated, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most short-term web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We here at Yahoo think we know that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to recontextualize seamlessly. What does the term "technologies" really mean? A company that can maximize easily will (someday) be able to innovate elegantly. The aptitude to engineer strategically leads to the capacity to cultivate mega-globally. We have come to know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to actualize cyber-holistically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "branding" really mean? Think B2B. Think collaborative. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. We understand that if you actualize extensibly then you may also whiteboard globally. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B reality-based TQC and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your value-added feature set? In one step? The social-network-based bricks-and-clicks, co-branded, front-end reporting factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We usually leverage real-time transparent platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! A company that can scale easily will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline faithfully. What does the standard industry term "ubiquitous" really mean? The capability to e-enable efficiently leads to the ability to scale magnetically. We will monetize the commonly-used term "end-to-end". What does it really mean to strategize "intra-micro-dynamically"? We understand that if you target extensibly then you may also utilize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be scalable? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar.