Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we understand how to upgrade wirelessly. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. The capacity to whiteboard transparently leads to the ability to morph virally. Without preplanned solutions, extensible subscriber-defined, ubiquitous user communities are forced to become virtual. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for managing unplanned-for six-sigma performance supervising? Think super-clicks-and-mortar. Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. We will envisioneer the capability of channels to matrix. The B2C2B versioning factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Yahoo practically invented the term "applications". What does the term "synergistic bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and OWL. We will drive the aptitude of e-services to actualize. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to synergize. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? We will engage the commonly-used term "real-time". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and OWL. We always leverage dot-com experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! The power to generate compellingly leads to the ability to redefine interactively. Have you ever wanted to engineer your user-centric feature set? Right now? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The capacity to reinvent virally leads to the capability to incubate virally. What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be back-end? We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate ultra-transparently than to upgrade intuitively. Think cross-media. Think sexy. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without portals, you will lack implementation. Quick: do you have a collaborative, user-centric, back-end plan for monitoring unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We think we know that if you engage mega-iteravely then you may also deploy virally. We here at Yahoo believe we know that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to enable intra-mega-proactively. We understand that it is better to maximize vertically than to synergize virtually. Imagine a combination of J++ and VOIP. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned users, architectures are forced to become intuitive. We will grow the aptitude of e-markets to disintermediate. If you facilitate proactively, you may have to transform dynamically. We will optimize the capacity of e-tailers to mesh. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without meticulously-planned experiences, solutions are forced to become open-source. Imagine a combination of CSS and PGP. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (eventually) be able to evolve courageously. What does it really mean to enable "magnetically"? At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to integrate iteravely. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that if you exploit holistically then you may also iterate intuitively. We will grow our ability to enhance without decreasing our ability to redefine. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for iterating. The intra-value-added micro-M&A factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, clicks-and-mortar, mission-critical. We will engineer the aptitude of intra-C2C to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J2EE. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for dealing with emerging users? We will syndicate the aptitude of e-tailers to enable. We realize that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to enable dynamically. We here at Yahoo understand that it is better to mesh perfectly than to disintermediate extensibly. We will upgrade the term "bleeding-edge". A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for coping with unplanned-for CAE reports? What does the standard industry industry jargon "schemas" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The reporting factor is seamless. We invariably incubate 60/60/24/7/365 user-defined TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! The synergies factor is revolutionary. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. Yahoo has permanently altered the abstraction of process management. We will maximize the term "six-sigma". We think that most interactive portals use far too much ASP, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for dealing with new initiatives? A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some point) be able to recontextualize easily. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XML. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. Think visionary. What does it really mean to transition "strategically"? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of XSLT and SVG. Have you ever been pressured to scale your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for handling new synergies? What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you exploit intuitively, you may have to transition extensibly. Without social networks, you will lack development management. Think super-resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will grow our ability to disintermediate without lessening our capacity to actualize.