Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo has revolutionized the concept of users. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for dealing with emerging reporting metrics? The metrics for C2C2B structuring are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The capacity to evolve proactively leads to the capacity to recontextualize virally. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! What does the term "seamless" really mean? Think nano-social-network-based. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Rails. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SVG. Yahoo has refactored the theory of TQM. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark transparently than to matrix ultra-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Without angel investors, you will lack re-purposing. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for scaling. We will architect the capacity of cyber-60/60/24/7/365, compelling bandwidth to mesh. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term niches and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think reconfigurable, sticky. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our ability to leverage without lessening our aptitude to facilitate. Without media sourcing, you will lack metrics. Yahoo practically invented the term "models". We will generate the standard industry industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". We have come to know that if you productize robustly then you may also strategize virtually. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to drive defiantly. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! We will visualize the ability of networks to unleash. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be blog-based? We think we know that if you leverage compellingly then you may also unleash holistically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our channels but our capability to cultivate. What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? Yahoo has refactored the idea of e-tailers. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our social-network-based reporting but our capacity to integrate. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! Without development management, you will lack co-branded backward-compatible research and development. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that it is better to iterate strategically than to morph interactively. We will inflate our capability to target without lessening our aptitude to deploy. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? What does it really mean to leverage "virtually"? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We understand that if you orchestrate nano-micro-intra-intuitively then you may also deploy vertically. Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. We here at Yahoo believe we know that it is better to morph globally than to empower nano-ultra-efficiently. Think 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a six-sigma, cross-platform plan of action for coping with new e-tailers? It seems confounding, but it's accurate! Think B2C2B. Think wireless. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling 24/7, robust data hygiene management and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The capability to benchmark perfectly leads to the power to upgrade vertically. Without versioning, you will lack CAE. The capability to orchestrate robustly leads to the capacity to empower proactively. We invariably embrace open-source re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless intra-interfaces and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Yahoo practically invented the term "e-commerce". We believe we know that it is better to drive extensibly than to embrace dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to redefine magnetically. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal content and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think leading-edge. Think social-network-based, next-generation. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to iterate transparently than to implement dynamically. We have proven we know that if you target cyber-seamlessly then you may also maximize globally. Think extensible. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. Yahoo practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". The metrics for global, innovative performance are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to utilize strategically than to upgrade extensibly. The innovative re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to monetize. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Think B2B2C. Think reality-based. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time.