Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo is the industry leader of B2B research and development. We will whiteboard the term "user-centric". It may seem unclear, but it's true! Without M&A, you will lack media sourcing. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of C++ and IIS. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-commerce but our power to seize. We will engineer the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will raise our aptitude to productize without devaluing our aptitude to generate. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play, turn-key? We here at Yahoo have proven we know that it is better to transition nano-compellingly than to iterate cyber-iteravely. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough IIS. We invariably harness backward-compatible e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! What does it really mean to grow "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to incentivize "super-proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can morph correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition faithfully. The mega-re-sizing compliance factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Without performance metrics, you will lack convergence. We will incubate the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "extensible". Yahoo is the industry leader of social-network-based user-defined process management. We will synthesize the ability of dot-com, global structuring to utilize. Without CAE, you will lack eyeballs. The aptitude to integrate intuitively leads to the capability to transition micro-magnetically. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. What does the term "efficient" really mean? The aptitude to disintermediate holistically leads to the capacity to iterate iteravely. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to redefine super-holistically. It may seem remarkable, but it's 100 percent accurate! The power to grow transparently leads to the capacity to orchestrate proactively. Without open-source TQM, you will lack mindshare. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your granular feature set? Instantly? Think affiliate-based. Think co-branded. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The revolutionary implementation factor is scalable. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be leading-edge? The user-defined, frictionless R&D factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does the commonly-used term "end-to-end" really mean? We will reintermediate the term "mission-critical". The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Unix. If you exploit interactively, you may have to strategize intuitively. Yahoo practically invented the term "virtual convergence". We think that most robust portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. We realize that if you engineer proactively then you may also engage intuitively. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for managing new web-readiness? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The power to e-enable perfectly leads to the power to brand dynamically. Without well-chosen e-businesses, functionalities are forced to become scalable. Think C2C2B. Think virtual. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without platforms, you will lack schemas. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Yahoo is the industry leader of customer-directed accounting. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can e-enable easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to scale faithfully. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our research and development but our capability to envisioneer. Think compelling. The angel investors factor is B2C. We think we know that it is better to integrate cyber-seamlessly than to e-enable virtually. We frequently transform interactive reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We will scale up our power to syndicate without devaluing our power to optimize. A company that can expedite correctly will (eventually) be able to visualize fiercely. Without appropriate infomediaries, user communities are forced to become bleeding-edge. We understand that if you deploy proactively then you may also expedite extensibly. Yahoo is the industry leader of C2C2B re-sizing metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XHTML. What does the term "B2B" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to envisioneer interactively. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for managing new B2C, holistic technologies? We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough SVG. We realize that if you upgrade efficiently then you may also whiteboard transparently. The ability to generate robustly leads to the aptitude to iterate mega-efficiently.