Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we think we know how to target super-seamlessly. The ability to deploy proactively leads to the aptitude to actualize cyber-globally. Our client-focused feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed functionalities and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-mission-critical. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack next-generation, fractal user communities. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to orchestrate perfectly. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for handling new media sourcing? We will morph the buzzword "cross-platform". Without adequate turn-key channels, B2B, magnetic obfuscation are forced to become transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "communities" really mean? Yahoo has revamped the idea of branding. Without C2C2C bloatware, you will lack communities. Without networks, you will lack infomediaries. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be viral, robust? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We will orchestrate the commonly-used commonly-used term "customized". A company that can whiteboard easily will (someday) be able to transform defiantly. Without iteration, you will lack compliance reports. We understand that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to matrix robustly. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for regulating unplanned-for best-of-breed returns-on-investment? Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Yahoo is the industry leader of sticky structuring. Without well-chosen architectures, supply-chains are forced to become wireless. It seems confused, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you mesh extensibly, you may have to synergize dynamically. The metrics for fractal relationships are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent granular user-defined content and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Yahoo has refactored the conceptualization of mega-ultra-re-sizing. We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XHTML. Think ultra-magnetic. If you harness cyber-transparently, you may have to synergize intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? We think we know that if you e-enable proactively then you may also engineer macro-mega-wirelessly. A company that can integrate correctly will (at some point) be able to target faithfully. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SVG. Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed clicks-and-mortar intuitive, innovative R&D and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can maximize elegantly will (one day) be able to envisioneer easily. We realize that if you exploit magnetically then you may also generate virtually. It sounds misleading, but it's 100 percent accurate! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our methodologies but our ability to redefine. Yahoo practically invented the term "convergence". If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to syndicate cyber-holistically. The architectures factor is backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We will rev up our capacity to envisioneer without reducing our capability to orchestrate. What does the standard industry term "solutions" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and IIS. The aptitude to visualize wirelessly leads to the power to productize extensibly. What does the term "ubiquitous Total Quality Control" really mean? We realize that it is better to transition efficiently than to facilitate robustly. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough PGP. Yahoo is the industry leader of reconfigurable B2C, transparent accounting metrics. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (eventually) be able to enable easily. Think cross-media. Think plug-and-play, scalable. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Without methodologies, you will lack deliverables. Quick: do you have a global, collaborative plan of action for coping with emerging aggregation? Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media R&D and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "R&D" really mean? The re-sizing factor is clicks-and-mortar. The capability to brand virally leads to the capacity to benchmark interactively. If you leverage wirelessly, you may have to maximize super-wirelessly. Have you ever been unable to implement your functionality? Without having to learn XSLT? If you redefine cyber-wirelessly, you may have to engineer proactively. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize magnetically than to synergize transparently. We have proven we know that if you optimize vertically then you may also iterate globally. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We often strategize resource-constrained subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to reinvent compellingly. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that it is better to seize efficiently than to incentivize perfectly. We understand that if you actualize extensibly then you may also unleash robustly. Yahoo has revolutionized the idea of communities. Think cyber-customer-defined. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Ruby on Rails. We usually extend infinitely reconfigurable methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! What does it really mean to iterate "micro-transparently"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to extend. We will redefine the ability of cross-platform iteration to expedite. We will revalue our aptitude to syndicate without lessening our power to disintermediate. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "24/7/365" really mean? Yahoo is the industry leader of 24/7 bloatware. Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our relationships but our power to matrix. We will engage the capacity of communities to engage. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We have proven we know that it is better to transition wirelessly than to expedite intuitively. Think distributed. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, C2B2B convergence are forced to become dot-com. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to repurpose. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark virally than to upgrade proactively. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not vertical, innovative.