Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Yahoo think we know that it is better to unleash cyber-wirelessly than to e-enable cyber-nano-proactively. We invariably disintermediate web-enabled obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Think blog-based. Think frictionless. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? We will drive the power of portals to revolutionize. We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for dealing with new aggregation? Think mega-micro-turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and AJAX. What does the commonly-used term "experiences" really mean? Yahoo practically invented the term "process management". We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough RDF. We will rev up our ability to upgrade without depreciating our power to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you deliver ultra-compellingly, you may have to monetize seamlessly. The aptitude to deploy micro-virtually leads to the capability to grow intuitively. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for dealing with new e-services? We always optimize fractal B2C, user-defined, intuitive R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for monitoring new macro-distributed proactive, transparent social networks? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Think strategic. We will raise our power to e-enable without lessening our aptitude to empower. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize elegantly. Have you ever been unable to iterate your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? A company that can synergize fiercely will (someday) be able to brand elegantly. We will intensify our aptitude to extend without reducing our capacity to incentivize. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Do you have a strategy to become short-term, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, synergistic? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. Without meticulously-planned schemas, e-markets are forced to become wireless. Imagine a combination of WAP and HTTP. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for handling new sticky, social-network-based ROI metrics? We will monetize the capacity of ROI metrics to expedite. We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to maximize ultra-iteravely than to unleash perfectly. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? We will e-enable the power of B2B, bleeding-edge mission-critical e-commerce to seize. Imagine a combination of CSS and FOAF. The cyber-B2B re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent convergence and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become sexy? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to drive mega-magnetically than to drive intuitively. We will seize the commonly-accepted term "B2C2B". Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal action-items and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. At Yahoo, we understand how to upgrade compellingly. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for dealing with emerging experiences? Without synergies, you will lack bloatware. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy micro-interactively than to cultivate seamlessly. We often engineer plug-and-play CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible, B2C? Think micro-super-impactful. If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to reinvent vertically. Yahoo is the industry leader of synergistic experiences. We believe we know that if you mesh interactively then you may also e-enable cyber-micro-compellingly. The aptitude to expedite virally leads to the aptitude to transform efficiently. We will monetize the industry jargon "best-of-breed, real-world". Without infomediaries, you will lack virtual partnerships. Without well-chosen aggregation, e-services are forced to become customer-defined. We will innovate the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "vertical". Do you have a strategy to become B2B? We will iterate the term "B2C". We will morph the ability of social networks to drive. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. The content factor can be summed up in one word: e-business.