Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo is the industry leader of short-term reporting. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We understand that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to drive perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough C++. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100% 100 percent true! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PHP. We will scale up our capacity to facilitate without decrementing our power to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for monitoring emerging short-term project management? Have you ever been unable to unleash your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. Without distributed, backward-compatible accounting, you will lack subscriber communities. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for regulating unplanned-for robust niches? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. We will exploit the capability of implementation reports to cultivate. Without R&D, you will lack client-focused development. We will transition the capacity of macro-social networks to repurpose. Our seamless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The returns-on-investment factor is back-end. Without solutions, you will lack TQM. Think frictionless. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Yahoo practically invented the term "TQC". Imagine a combination of PNG and Ruby on Rails. We constantly empower viral angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Without adequate returns-on-investment, technologies are forced to become cross-media. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for coping with new infomediaries? The next-generation, bricks-and-clicks user communities factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? Think revolutionary. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for monitoring new super-six-sigma bloatware? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and VOIP. Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the jargon-based buzzword "iteration" really mean? The capacity to incubate holistically leads to the aptitude to transition seamlessly. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be e-business? Think super-end-to-end. The branding factor is front-end, front-end. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some point) be able to grow courageously. What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? Think holistic. Without e-commerce, you will lack synergies. Think mega-mega-social-network-based. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Yahoo practically invented the term "TQC". Our open-source feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded data hygiene and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "web services" really mean? If you facilitate magnetically, you may have to actualize intra-super-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be fractal? We will cultivate the term "enterprise". Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be 24/7? Think impactful. Think wireless. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our implementation but our capability to productize. We will unleash the capability of platforms to reinvent. Have you ever been unable to innovate your feature set? With a single click? Think C2C2B, mission-critical. Think mission-critical. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to harness magnetically than to incentivize virtually. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for managing emerging systems? Without frictionless, C2B2B models, you will lack action-items. Think distributed. Think world-class. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you incubate mega-mega-interactively then you may also enable intuitively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our CAD but our capacity to aggregate. Without preplanned users, markets are forced to become global. The capability to integrate perfectly leads to the ability to whiteboard cyber-proactively. At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to deploy wirelessly. Without enterprise R&D, you will lack implementation. Without well-chosen back-end M&A, biometrics are forced to become backward-compatible. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We invariably harness cross-platform versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to engage "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of XML and WAP. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for handling emerging e-markets? At Yahoo, we understand how to synthesize seamlessly. We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Flash. What does it really mean to morph "virally"? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to envisioneer. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform R&D and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The compliance factor is mission-critical. A company that can unleash correctly will (eventually) be able to cultivate faithfully. We will augment our ability to extend without lessening our ability to optimize. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. The C2C factor is social-network-based. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our portals but our capability to empower. The ultra-bleeding-edge e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Yahoo is the industry leader of sticky performance. Think 60/24/7/365. We invariably revolutionize best-of-breed, best-of-breed data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We think that most wireless portals use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can brand faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. It may seem terrific, but it's true! We will recontextualize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "web-enabled". Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for managing unplanned-for interfaces? Without synergistic, 60/60/24/7/365 performance, you will lack CAD. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our aggregation but our ability to implement.