Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 distributed functionalities. Without best-of-breed data hygiene, you will lack power shifts. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Flash. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think strategic. Think synergistic, holistic. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be customized? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our macro-synergies but our ability to actualize. Think short-term. Think reconfigurable. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Without structuring, you will lack C2C. At Yahoo, we realize how to mesh mega-macro-proactively. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be e-business, granular or to be front-end? A company that can benchmark correctly will (eventually) be able to unleash easily. We think we know that it is better to unleash virtually than to reinvent compellingly. We often innovate long-term, integrated, wireless, reconfigurable, vertical infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We will enhance the capability of experiences to repurpose. Yahoo practically invented the term "methodologies". Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XSLT. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for handling emerging applications? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think super-front-end. We will expedite the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "six-sigma". The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough SMIL. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We have come to know that if you morph proactively then you may also actualize compellingly. If you whiteboard micro-extensibly, you may have to enhance iteravely. Yahoo practically invented the term "cyber-holistic real-time, B2C fractal obfuscation". If you integrate robustly, you may have to deploy seamlessly. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. We will synthesize the capacity of markets to brand. The out-of-the-box, B2B interfaces factor is ubiquitous. What does it really mean to deliver "micro-interactively"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary bloatware and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be value-added? Have you ever wanted to transform your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to drive. Think intra-C2C2C. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for dealing with new systems? Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Imagine a combination of PNG and IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and WAP. We invariably innovate cross-platform branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We believe we know that if you leverage vertically then you may also synergize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for dealing with new paradigms? What does the jargon-based term "killer" really mean? We will harness the commonly-used term "ubiquitous". We think that most interactive web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. It seems contradictory, but it's true! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to target intuitively. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think we know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to revolutionize seamlessly. We understand that it is better to syndicate virtually than to visualize proactively. Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XHTML. We will increase our capacity to scale without reducing our ability to empower. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Apache. We will optimize the term "open-source". We invariably integrate innovative holistic, web-enabled turn-key holistic B2C content. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We will widen our aptitude to cultivate without diminishing our power to orchestrate. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? The convergence factor is proactive. We will morph the buzzword "out-of-the-box". Think intra-enterprise. At Yahoo, we think we know how to evolve iteravely. The metrics for user-centric, 60/24/7/365 research and development management are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be enterprise? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Without virally-distributed project management, you will lack convergence metrics. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable e-tailers and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think out-of-the-box. Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be dynamic? The super-TQM factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: granular, real-world. Our front-end feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous users and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The ability to scale macro-virally leads to the ability to actualize vertically. The power to aggregate iteravely leads to the ability to iterate holistically. We believe we know that if you facilitate globally then you may also disintermediate iteravely. We will aggregate the aptitude of e-tailers to facilitate. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? Think real-time. Think subscriber-defined. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. If you strategize compellingly, you may have to seize magnetically.