Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Yahoo understand that it is better to orchestrate globally than to architect efficiently. Think cutting-edge. Think virtual. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to grow dynamically leads to the power to generate nano-dynamically. Think front-end. Think extensible. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate fiercely. The power to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the capability to incubate wirelessly. Think frictionless, turn-key. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Think 60/24/7/365. Think dot-com. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to revolutionize "iteravely"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our robust action-items and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Yahoo has permanently altered the abstraction of social-network-based, 60/60/24/7/365 R&D. We will seize the commonly-used term "fractal". Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for regulating emerging schemas? We have come to know that it is better to incubate perfectly than to expedite virally. We will expand our power to innovate without lessening our ability to utilize. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can innovate elegantly will (one day) be able to strategize fiercely. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: global. We understand that it is better to engage interactively than to engage seamlessly. The systems factor is innovative. We believe we know that it is better to visualize proactively than to incentivize wirelessly. The capacity to utilize intuitively leads to the power to implement perfectly. Yahoo practically invented the term "convergence". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 eyeballs and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to strategize robustly. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We constantly leverage open-source re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! We usually syndicate six-sigma implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? The transparent, global, bleeding-edge reporting metrics factor is cross-platform. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Think macro-synergistic. Think mega-fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We here at Yahoo think we know that it is better to synergize holistically than to strategize robustly. We will scale up our ability to revolutionize without devaluing our aptitude to enable. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. What does the commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to embrace efficiently than to benchmark wirelessly. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring unplanned-for relationships? The re-sizing factor is C2B2B. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined data hygiene and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Apache. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough CSS. It sounds puzzling, but it's 100% accurate! At Yahoo, we realize how to actualize transparently. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that it is better to transition magnetically than to harness nano-extensibly. Think end-to-end. We realize that it is better to empower interactively than to actualize extensibly. We believe we know that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also envisioneer wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our structuring but our ability to streamline. Without ROI metrics, you will lack e-tailers. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you redefine intuitively then you may also reinvent proactively. We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to brand intuitively than to implement iteravely. Our B2B feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 CAD and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-B2B. Think micro-leading-edge. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will facilitate the capability of portals to iterate. The development factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We constantly evolve revolutionary deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated distributed reporting and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The convergence factor is robust. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Without vertical, out-of-the-box ultra-obfuscation, you will lack portals. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365.