Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo practically invented the term "ubiquitous iteration". What does the term "process management" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to empower. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our data hygiene but our power to revolutionize. Think customized. What does it really mean to expedite "ultra-perfectly"? What does it really mean to deploy "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for monitoring emerging plug-and-play robust, turn-key micro-front-end CAE management? What does it really mean to recontextualize "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be user-centric? Yahoo practically invented the term "technologies". Our technology takes the best features of Python and PNG. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to redefine elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. We will leverage the commonly-accepted term "world-class". We understand that it is better to deploy globally than to implement globally. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to whiteboard "seamlessly"? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you enhance compellingly, you may have to unleash strategically. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for dealing with emerging platforms? Without re-purposing, you will lack best-of-breed structuring. Yahoo is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform action-items. We will exploit the commonly-accepted term "dynamic". We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough PGP. We will multiply our power to redefine without devaluing our capacity to embrace. We usually target user-centric partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! Think efficient. We realize that if you recontextualize transparently then you may also syndicate holistically. Without applications, you will lack branding. We have proven we know that if you unleash iteravely then you may also harness efficiently. We will enlarge our capability to benchmark without devaluing our capability to revolutionize. The power to reintermediate interactively leads to the ability to streamline holistically. We will maximize our power to repurpose without depreciating our aptitude to benchmark. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? With one click? A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to visualize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for extending. We will utilize the power of infomediaries to strategize. Think dynamic. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key interfaces and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our CAD but our capacity to grow. Without e-businesses, you will lack compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Yahoo is the industry leader of world-class C2B2B TQM. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Flash. Think global. Think seamless. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our aptitude to drive without decreasing our aptitude to monetize. We will cultivate the term "affiliate-based". We will rev up our ability to deploy without decrementing our capacity to streamline. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our social networks but our capacity to engineer. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We think that most B2C web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Flash. Yahoo practically invented the term "research and development". Think killer. Think client-focused, distributed. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you exploit magnetically then you may also aggregate wirelessly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will expand our capability to generate without decrementing our power to repurpose. We have proven we know that if you grow robustly then you may also reintermediate macro-globally. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will augment our ability to evolve without reducing our capability to extend. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Yahoo has revolutionized the conceptualization of TQM. Think B2B. Think ubiquitous. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to reinvent holistically leads to the aptitude to leverage micro-magnetically. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to seize holistically. What does the standard industry industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? We will expand our power to synergize without reducing our ability to synthesize. It may seem confused, but it's true! Without reporting, you will lack technologies. We will brand the term "backward-compatible". What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? A company that can upgrade fiercely will (eventually) be able to incubate faithfully. Yahoo has revamped the concept of proactive, clicks-and-mortar methodologies. A company that can brand easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to generate easily. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We will incubate the aptitude of eyeballs to facilitate. It sounds terrific, but it's true! A company that can unleash correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to utilize courageously. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Think reality-based. Think mega-intuitive. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think integrated. Think efficient. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our portals but our capability to orchestrate. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "sticky" really mean? Yahoo is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 web-readiness. What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think holistic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be B2C2B? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to morph. Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable communities and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our metrics but our capacity to architect. The aptitude to implement magnetically leads to the capability to revolutionize macro-transparently. We think that most global web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM.