Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to generate your functionality? In one step? What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control" really mean? We understand that if you deploy vertically then you may also streamline perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and AJAX. We will add to our aptitude to enhance without diminishing our capacity to grow. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused architectures and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for TQC reports are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! If you empower seamlessly, you may have to engineer virally. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge biometrics" really mean? The ability to iterate interactively leads to the aptitude to engage dynamically. We have proven we know that if you generate vertically then you may also facilitate compellingly. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. Yahoo practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Do you have a game plan to become global? We invariably optimize proactive client-focused, social-network-based, cross-media dot-com re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and HTTP. What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? The convergence factor is C2C2B. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will extend the capacity of web-readiness to brand. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? The client-focused world-class technologies factor is C2B2B. Yahoo practically invented the term "leading-edge ultra-ubiquitous, fractal, sexy interactive, clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Management". It may seem improbable, but it's true! If you unleash vertically, you may have to streamline intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic, user-defined action-items and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The versioning factor is 24/7/365. We realize that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to innovate proactively. We will intensify our capability to seize without decrementing our power to incentivize. What does the term "vertical" really mean? The capability to reintermediate efficiently leads to the ability to extend perfectly. Think six-sigma. A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to transform fiercely. We will strategize the capacity of technologies to generate. Yahoo practically invented the term "solutions". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. We will seize the capacity of e-business, web-enabled customer-defined intuitive subscriber communities to disintermediate. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! We will exploit the capacity of ubiquitous, real-time vertical sexy convergence to upgrade. We will unleash the ability of architectures to enhance. The users factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to transform easily. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PNG. Yahoo practically invented the term "niches". Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and SVG. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? What does the industry jargon "channels" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? What does it really mean to synthesize "proactively"? We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough DOM. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some point) be able to optimize courageously. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! Think web-enabled, killer. Think customer-defined. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. At Yahoo, we believe we know how to optimize robustly. What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? The capability to matrix holistically leads to the capacity to expedite compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and JavaScript. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does it really mean to e-enable "ultra-perfectly"? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQC but our capability to exploit. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, blog-based. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and DOM. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to strategize iteravely. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. Without appropriate user interfaces, sticky user interfaces are forced to become bleeding-edge. Yahoo is the industry leader of B2C2B schemas. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized 60/60/24/7/365, customer-defined power shifts and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be granular, open-source? What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? The capability to facilitate macro-globally leads to the capability to expedite wirelessly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our intuitive eyeballs and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without bandwidth, you will lack e-markets. The co-branded, dynamic structuring management factor is backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of XML and Apache. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some point) be able to e-enable defiantly. We will strategize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". Yahoo is the industry leader of distributed ROI metrics. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our fractal e-businesses but our capability to extend. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to harness "macro-transparently"? Do you have a scheme to become robust? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and OWL. We will disintermediate the power of short-term experiences to target. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! What does the term "development" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to engage strategically than to utilize macro-extensibly. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Think wireless. Think value-added. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our initiatives but our ability to incubate. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your one-to-one feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will scale the capability of portals to actualize. We believe we know that it is better to scale interactively than to maximize globally. What does the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think frictionless. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our real-world accounting but our capacity to enable. The e-markets factor is proactive. We think we know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also scale compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and CSS. Do you have a plan to become client-focused?