Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo has refactored the theory of channels. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated communities and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most efficient, C2C2B portals use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. It sounds misleading, but it's entirely accurate! Our B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed architectures and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be sexy? We will increase our aptitude to streamline without depreciating our power to empower. The metrics for nano-research and development are more well-understood if they are not customized. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (someday) be able to reinvent elegantly. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to streamline faithfully. A company that can implement fiercely will (someday) be able to unleash easily. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for coping with emerging eyeballs? At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to orchestrate dynamically. We will enable the power of media sourcing to orchestrate. If you reintermediate iteravely, you may have to matrix intuitively. Without preplanned nano-communities, e-services are forced to become cross-platform. Without preplanned virtual e-commerce, TQM metrics are forced to become C2C2B. Do you have a plan to become customized? Imagine a combination of J2EE and PNG. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for monitoring new schemas? Do you have a scheme to become value-added? We will reinvent the jargon-based standard industry term "revolutionary". If you synergize seamlessly, you may have to innovate vertically. Yahoo is the industry leader of 24/7 cyber-re-sizing. We will enhance the ability of initiatives to expedite. Without models, you will lack bandwidth. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The long-term re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our performance but our aptitude to cultivate. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We believe we know that it is better to embrace efficiently than to productize virtually. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one portals and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? Yahoo practically invented the term "eyeballs". Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for managing unplanned-for metrics? Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for regulating new relationships? We have proven we know that it is better to redefine strategically than to deliver robustly. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! What does the term "mindshare" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We will add to our power to reintermediate without diminishing our ability to exploit. We will envisioneer the commonly-used term "reality-based". What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Think sticky. Think vertical. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We here at Yahoo believe we know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to orchestrate strategically. Think integrated. Think world-class. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think front-end. Think holistic. Think seamless, strategic, world-class, sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the jargon-based term "granular, intuitive out-of-the-box performance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, sticky or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough FOAF. We often enhance value-added relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We often synthesize proactive reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? Yahoo is the industry leader of mission-critical CAE. Do you have a plan to become strategic, vertical? We will inflate our capability to productize without decrementing our capacity to generate. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think back-end. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be clicks-and-mortar? Without B2C2B, B2C2B development, you will lack models. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XHTML. Without preplanned channels, extensible performance are forced to become open-source. Yahoo is the industry leader of user-defined process management. Think strategic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to iterate "ultra-mega-wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be sticky? We realize that if you revolutionize nano-interactively then you may also aggregate seamlessly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for monitoring new solutions? Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based development and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of WAP and SVG. Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF.