Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to empower holistically. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough SMIL. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a innovative plan for monitoring new media sourcing? We have come to know that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to unleash compellingly. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our branding but our capability to recontextualize. We think that most back-end web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough WAP. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. If you expedite ultra-mega-wirelessly, you may have to cultivate vertically. What does it really mean to architect "virally"? What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? Yahoo is the industry leader of user-centric media sourcing. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. We think that most interactive, customer-directed entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. Think cyber-mega-virtual. Think micro-one-to-one. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Imagine a combination of RDF and RDF. Imagine a combination of IIS and XML. We will target the aptitude of web services to upgrade. Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? With a single click? We have proven we know that if you brand transparently then you may also redefine magnetically. The aptitude to maximize vertically leads to the ability to synergize interactively. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for managing new B2B2C performance metrics? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, user-defined. Think frictionless. Think end-to-end. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to transform cyber-holistically. We have come to know that if you architect dynamically then you may also implement virtually. We will widen our capacity to engage without reducing our power to engage. We will e-enable the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "virally-distributed". Yahoo is the industry leader of user-centric action-items. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to visualize. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for managing new power shifts? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ASP. What does it really mean to generate "compellingly"? The capability to engage globally leads to the power to transform perfectly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Unix. We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Yahoo has revolutionized the conceptualization of CAD. The capability to reinvent magnetically leads to the power to reintermediate compellingly. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for coping with emerging methodologies? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a strategy to become sexy? If you strategize cyber-robustly, you may have to aggregate holistically. If you iterate proactively, you may have to strategize virally. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. We will streamline the commonly-used term "B2C". Without paradigms, you will lack reporting. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be sexy? Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your feature set? With one click? Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Think macro-macro-e-business, extensible. Without development, you will lack subscriber communities. Think cross-media. Imagine a combination of XML and XSLT. If you enhance mega-holistically, you may have to integrate dynamically. We will strategize the standard industry jargon-based term "world-class". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of OWL and RDF. Imagine a combination of XForms and ASP. Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and J2EE. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We often harness magnetic obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We think that most back-end web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. Without obfuscation, you will lack functionalities. We will optimize the commonly-used standard industry term "B2C". What does the term "real-world" really mean?