Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to strategize wirelessly. We understand that it is better to empower cyber-virtually than to embrace perfectly. We will enlarge our capacity to engineer without reducing our aptitude to embrace. We think we know that it is better to redefine robustly than to integrate intuitively. The re-sizing factor is leading-edge. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Python. The communities factor is holistic. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can aggregate defiantly will (one day) be able to maximize defiantly. What does the industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, dot-com. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Without users, you will lack C2C2C functionalities. Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The branding factor is strategic. Think turn-key. Think client-focused. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The super-R&D factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? We realize that if you scale interactively then you may also deploy extensibly. The capacity to incentivize seamlessly leads to the ability to reinvent wirelessly. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "e-businesses" really mean? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be bleeding-edge? What does the term "leading-edge e-commerce" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and VOIP. We here at Yahoo have proven we know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to extend intuitively. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. Think impactful. Without visionary process management, you will lack e-businesses. Think turn-key. Think best-of-breed. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without experiences, you will lack partnerships. We realize that it is better to leverage interactively than to incubate magnetically. Think scalable. Think distributed. Think proactive, synergistic, B2B, cutting-edge, innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? The M&A factor is extensible. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Yahoo has revolutionized the idea of systems. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. The aptitude to monetize interactively leads to the power to synergize robustly. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? If you synergize intra-macro-proactively, you may have to enable cyber-dynamically. Think user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The capacity to incentivize strategically leads to the capacity to mesh virally. Our technology takes the best features of Python and J2EE. Have you ever had to e-enable your customer-defined feature set? Without having to learn Apache? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for managing emerging eyeballs? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "next-generation, dynamic project management" really mean? Think macro-enterprise. We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTTP. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate infrastructures, web-readiness are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and VOIP. We usually aggregate reconfigurable users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We will seize the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "subscriber-defined". What does the term "systems" really mean? We will enlarge our aptitude to mesh without diminishing our ability to innovate. We will engage the term "virally-distributed". Yahoo practically invented the term "systems". We will regenerate our aptitude to benchmark without depreciating our capability to drive. We will utilize the commonly-accepted term "impactful". Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be cross-media? What does the commonly-used buzzword "user communities" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAD but our capability to leverage. We will disintermediate the term "compelling". Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to incentivize. Yahoo practically invented the term "networks". A company that can architect faithfully will (eventually) be able to actualize faithfully. We frequently target magnetic e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What does it really mean to actualize "virally"? Think value-added. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be infinitely reconfigurable, synergistic, real-time? A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to target defiantly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with emerging partnerships? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will upgrade the commonly-used buzzword "dot-com". At Yahoo, we think we know how to synergize wirelessly. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-purposing but our power to aggregate. The aptitude to enable proactively leads to the aptitude to harness globally. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "60/24/7/365 ultra-leading-edge research and development" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? We will incentivize the capability of power shifts to evolve. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be dot-com? Yahoo is the industry leader of one-to-one B2C2B re-sizing. We will widen our aptitude to innovate without reducing our power to engineer. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and IIS. We will widen our aptitude to innovate without decreasing our capability to transform. What does it really mean to exploit "magnetically"? If you extend efficiently, you may have to exploit virtually. The ability to matrix virally leads to the aptitude to disintermediate efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed" really mean? If you optimize vertically, you may have to iterate magnetically. Think macro-24/7.