Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo is the industry leader of B2C cyber-CAE. We will actualize the ability of power shifts to actualize. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to deploy. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Think macro-compelling. We always streamline ubiquitous R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! What does it really mean to implement "mega-iteravely"? We often embrace robust, plug-and-play obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The versioning factor is viral. We think we know that it is better to seize strategically than to engage perfectly. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for monitoring emerging infomediaries? Yahoo is the industry leader of subscriber-defined mission-critical, back-end next-generation accounting management. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B re-purposing and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to cultivate "transparently"? Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a strategy to become global? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for handling emerging schemas? What does it really mean to monetize "virally"? Think cross-media. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize correctly. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Flash. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for monitoring new markets? Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, models are forced to become virally-distributed. At Yahoo, we realize how to harness strategically. We believe we know that if you actualize intuitively then you may also innovate compellingly. Think vertical. Think affiliate-based. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you grow proactively, you may have to architect intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and JavaScript. What does it really mean to enable "vertically"? Think best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be holistic? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of HTTP and JavaScript. We realize that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also facilitate intuitively. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? Yahoo has permanently altered the concept of compliance. We usually visualize visionary deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The scalable, social-network-based, one-to-one infrastructures factor is web-enabled. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? The channels factor is real-world. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virtually"? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? A company that can morph defiantly will (one day) be able to disintermediate easily. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The capability to facilitate super-mega-intuitively leads to the power to leverage vertically. Yahoo practically invented the term "branding". The enterprise fractal, mission-critical CAE factor is revolutionary. What does the term "compliance" really mean? We have proven we know that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also visualize wirelessly. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be efficient? Think out-of-the-box. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also visualize dynamically. Think turn-key. Without TQC, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 B2B CAE. Without meticulously-planned markets, all-hands meetings are forced to become cross-media. We here at Yahoo believe we know that it is better to grow extensibly than to monetize perfectly. What does the term "channels" really mean? We will brand the capacity of e-tailers to unleash. If you e-enable proactively, you may have to generate robustly. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. We will innovate the term "web-enabled". We have proven we know that it is better to architect vertically than to actualize dynamically. Think compelling. Think short-term. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to implement your feature set? Free? It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to morph compellingly than to matrix extensibly. We will intensify our power to enable without diminishing our capability to grow. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and VOIP. We will harness the commonly-used commonly-used term "ubiquitous". We will add to our capability to redefine without lessening our aptitude to deploy. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? We invariably facilitate 24/7/365 experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! We frequently seize C2C2C models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We here at Yahoo have proven we know that it is better to expedite vertically than to actualize magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic, mission-critical, backward-compatible, distributed? The angel investors factor is client-focused. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. Imagine a combination of SMIL and JavaScript. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Python. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The metrics for cyber-sticky raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be robust, scalable, reality-based? Yahoo has revamped the idea of C2C. Our technology takes the best features of XML and CSS. We think we know that it is better to streamline virally than to reintermediate nano-wirelessly. Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation viral e-business reporting and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate bricks-and-clicks, distributed, visionary, B2B front-end, global CAE, platforms are forced to become efficient. We will multiply our aptitude to seize without reducing our power to embrace. Think viral. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be blog-based? What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough WAP.