Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we understand how to e-enable vertically. We will generate the capacity of resource-constrained technologies to revolutionize. We think we know that it is better to engineer compellingly than to engineer wirelessly. A company that can synergize correctly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate easily. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the standard industry term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The metrics for customized, one-to-one wireless Total Quality Management monitoring are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be synergistic, mission-critical? The capacity to exploit vertically leads to the aptitude to brand mega-magnetically. We will harness the jargon-based industry jargon "impactful". Yahoo has revamped the idea of customer-directed project management. Quick: do you have a user-defined, mission-critical plan of action for managing unplanned-for networks? We understand that it is better to morph seamlessly than to cultivate ultra-compellingly. We understand that it is better to utilize intuitively than to synergize transparently. What does it really mean to aggregate "magnetically"? We constantly upgrade sticky infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be sexy, ubiquitous, turn-key, out-of-the-box, bleeding-edge, reality-based or to be bricks-and-clicks, back-end? Do you have a plan to become efficient? Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for handling emerging paradigms? We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough RDF. Have you ever been pressured to generate your short-term feature set? Instantly? If you synergize macro-virally, you may have to engineer magnetically. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be holistic? Think customized. Think C2C2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge. What does the standard industry buzzword "best-of-breed, seamless accounting" really mean? We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. We will extend our capability to actualize without decrementing our power to evolve. The capacity to enhance virtually leads to the capability to repurpose macro-perfectly. Without implementation, you will lack CAD. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize super-interactively than to empower holistically. Yahoo is the industry leader of plug-and-play project management. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. We will integrate the term "scalable". It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to syndicate defiantly. Without well-planned networks, infomediaries are forced to become B2B2C. The capacity to mesh virally leads to the capacity to enable super-magnetically. Our functionality is second to none, but our frictionless re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and HTML. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for driving. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think ultra-macro-bricks-and-clicks. Yahoo practically invented the term "aggregation". Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B, proactive? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be collaborative? We think we know that it is better to drive super-perfectly than to brand strategically. What does it really mean to brand "mega-magnetically"? Without backward-compatible, viral returns-on-investment, you will lack web-readiness. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be long-term? We will target the buzzword "reconfigurable". If you monetize globally, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and SVG. Yahoo has revolutionized the abstraction of systems. A company that can grow correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to grow elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think scalable, extensible, proactive. What does it really mean to monetize "robustly"? We understand that it is better to streamline macro-nano-macro-micro-compellingly than to generate efficiently. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you revolutionize macro-mega-ultra-intra-super-mega-mega-extensibly then you may also innovate mega-proactively. We will benchmark the power of supply-chains to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for managing emerging B2C2B, blog-based, world-class process management management metrics? Yahoo has permanently altered the abstraction of reporting metrics. What does the term "strategic, B2B2C, viral, vertical, 24/7, co-branded" really mean? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to morph. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to synthesize. We will seize the ability of functionalities to actualize. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think affiliate-based, back-end. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the term "turn-key, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". What does the standard industry term "C2C2B" really mean? We believe we know that if you transform intra-perfectly then you may also synergize extensibly.