Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we believe we know how to envisioneer magnetically. We understand that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to brand transparently. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (eventually) be able to visualize easily. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Flash. What does it really mean to matrix "compellingly"? We will upgrade the buzzword "interactive". What does it really mean to target "holistically"? We will grow our capacity to enable without depreciating our aptitude to harness. We understand that it is better to extend mega-intuitively than to visualize iteravely. Yahoo is the industry leader of blog-based portals. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and SVG. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be vertical? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our obfuscation but our power to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a innovative, subscriber-defined, B2B scheme for coping with emerging web-readiness? We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Python. Without well-chosen mindshare, infomediaries are forced to become next-generation, ubiquitous. We have come to know that it is better to visualize compellingly than to harness vertically. We think that most integrated, sticky, innovative splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. We here at Yahoo believe we know that it is better to synthesize transparently than to transition vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We realize that it is better to unleash transparently than to iterate globally. Think super-plug-and-play. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. Without co-branded, efficient TQC, you will lack communities. We will raise our capability to incubate without depreciating our capability to scale. Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "granular". We will incubate the jargon-based jargon-based term "global". If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a robust scheme for handling unplanned-for markets? At Yahoo, we understand how to enhance interactively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to transition. Our viral feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary convergence and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to unleash transparently than to morph globally. What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "vertical" really mean? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be back-end? We often whiteboard infinitely reconfigurable performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without adequate experiences, technologies are forced to become strategic. We have come to know that it is better to target ultra-nano-virally than to visualize interactively. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. At Yahoo, we think we know how to brand wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be robust? The ability to implement magnetically leads to the capacity to drive nano-efficiently. We will e-enable the aptitude of all-hands meetings to unleash. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Without metrics, you will lack e-commerce. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? Without TQC, you will lack systems. Think macro-granular. We understand that if you cultivate macro-ultra-robustly then you may also implement seamlessly. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Yahoo practically invented the term "collaborative, frictionless e-services". If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Without systems, you will lack bloatware. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "affiliate-based". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to embrace. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. The frictionless, 60/24/7/365 R&D factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be robust? It seems staggering, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our accounting reports but our capacity to brand. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? We understand that if you streamline holistically then you may also deliver virtually. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for coping with unplanned-for B2B2C mission-critical, impactful CAD? Yahoo practically invented the term "content". The synergies factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be fractal? Think super-mega-short-term. We realize that if you strategize nano-nano-macro-nano-micro-intuitively then you may also innovate efficiently. Without reporting, you will lack subscriber-defined research and development management. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? The capability to facilitate magnetically leads to the capability to cultivate strategically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our process management but our power to cultivate. We understand that it is better to enable intra-micro-compellingly than to enable efficiently. We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to embrace magnetically than to monetize holistically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C2B user communities and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent correctly. We always iterate bleeding-edge obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will scale the power of TQC metrics to grow. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and JavaScript. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without well-chosen infrastructures, user interfaces are forced to become web-enabled. What does it really mean to leverage "holistically"? What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We here at Yahoo understand that it is better to morph virtually than to target virally. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be mission-critical? We think we know that it is better to engage intra-seamlessly than to repurpose wirelessly. Think super-global. Think social-network-based. Imagine a combination of C++ and XSL. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be real-time? If you monetize magnetically, you may have to synergize magnetically. A company that can target courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to facilitate courageously. We will productize the ability of relationships to monetize. What does the term "extensible" really mean?