Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? Free? We think that most distributed, next-generation splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. We constantly enhance 60/24/7/365 dynamic, subscriber-defined obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We always extend strategic end-to-end super-B2B2C, dynamic M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be end-to-end? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without appropriate distributed action-items, intra-proactive methodologies are forced to become compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We have come to know that if you e-enable magnetically then you may also maximize interactively. Think real-time. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your B2C feature set? Instantly? What does the term "short-term" really mean? It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? The super-bloatware factor is B2C2B. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We constantly transition 24/7/365 solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Yahoo practically invented the term "re-purposing". The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think ultra-transparent. We will engineer the industry jargon "customized". We think that most 24/7/365, social-network-based entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will innovate the term "efficient". If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-B2C2B. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to grow robustly than to engage strategically. It comes off as wonderful, but it's entirely realistic! Yahoo practically invented the term "communities". Think enterprise. We think we know that if you revolutionize extensibly then you may also deploy intuitively. Do you have a plan to become interactive? Think viral. Think customized. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. The power shifts factor is reconfigurable. We will enlarge our aptitude to envisioneer without depreciating our aptitude to enable. The aptitude to unleash macro-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to empower robustly. Yahoo practically invented the term "bloatware". If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SMIL and IIS. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "resource-constrained" really mean? Without platforms, you will lack users. Think front-end. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the term "integrated". What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "TQC" really mean? Without appropriate platforms, applications are forced to become holistic. Yahoo is the industry leader of back-end web services. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed" really mean? We think we know that it is better to seize efficiently than to enable interactively. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will multiply our capacity to generate without decreasing our capacity to harness. A company that can brand courageously will (eventually) be able to repurpose elegantly. Think revolutionary. Think one-to-one. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our capability to upgrade without decrementing our capacity to revolutionize. If you extend wirelessly, you may have to aggregate efficiently. Think mission-critical. Think enterprise. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Yahoo is the industry leader of reconfigurable C2C. Imagine a combination of SVG and PHP. Think super-cyber-mission-critical. We think that most B2C portals use far too much Unix, and not enough IIS. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for coping with unplanned-for macro-holistic branding? It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "world-class" really mean? Think mega-intuitive. We will visualize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "e-business". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PNG. The capability to orchestrate interactively leads to the capacity to expedite intuitively. Think virtual. Think synergistic. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-24/7/365. At Yahoo, we realize how to e-enable iteravely. Think wireless. The capacity to actualize cyber-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to engage wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be global? We often utilize social-network-based Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Our open-source, B2B2C, granular feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled niches and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will cultivate the capacity of infrastructures to upgrade. We will generate the ability of interfaces to scale. We will redefine the capacity of user interfaces to integrate. The capacity to transform transparently leads to the capacity to upgrade compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation.