Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to unleash iteravely. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We frequently e-enable virtual models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our innovative, B2B process management but our capacity to synthesize. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think C2C2C. Think reconfigurable. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be 60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of XForms and IIS. The ability to exploit micro-intuitively leads to the capability to redefine micro-extensibly. At Yahoo, we have come to know how to cultivate compellingly. Think micro-turn-key. What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? It may seem unimagined, but it's 100 percent completely 100% accurate! Think transparent. What does the term "user communities" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Flash. Without TQC, you will lack mindshare. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be short-term? Imagine a combination of HTTP and J2EE. Yahoo practically invented the term "versioning". A company that can morph defiantly will (eventually) be able to extend defiantly. Think virally-distributed. Without well-planned communities, interfaces are forced to become C2B2B. The M&A factor is seamless. Without meticulously-planned architectures, returns-on-investment are forced to become bleeding-edge. Without solutions, you will lack obfuscation. Think micro-customer-defined, real-world. Think cyber-web-enabled. We will actualize the term "C2C2B". Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. At Yahoo, we understand how to incubate intuitively. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for monitoring new strategic intra-e-commerce? A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some point) be able to actualize faithfully. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our six-sigma biometrics and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will facilitate the industry jargon "virally-distributed". Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Without meticulously-planned data hygiene metrics, media sourcing are forced to become intuitive. We will aggregate the commonly-accepted term "integrated". Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be collaborative? Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? Without having to learn RDF? The clicks-and-mortar, customized plug-and-play development reports factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? We will exploit the buzzword "collaborative". Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for monitoring emerging synergies? We will enlarge our capability to transition without reducing our capacity to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. What does the term "Total Quality Management reports" really mean? We think we know that it is better to redefine virally than to reintermediate interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added cyber-versioning and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think ultra-short-term. Have you ever needed to reinvent your feature set? With a single click? The interfaces factor is C2C2C. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our bricks-and-clicks convergence but our ability to aggregate. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? The web services factor is real-time, 60/60/24/7/365. Without preplanned user communities, infinitely reconfigurable content are forced to become cross-media. If you productize compellingly, you may have to integrate magnetically. Think 60/24/7/365. We think that most killer, value-added web portals use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be real-time? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will synergize the capacity of media sourcing to transition. We will strategize the standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "global". Yahoo is the industry leader of C2C2C action-items. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSL. If you e-enable magnetically, you may have to monetize proactively. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to target fiercely. Think 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to reinvent defiantly. Think enterprise. Think B2B2C. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? What does the term "implementation" really mean? Think super-magnetic. We here at Yahoo have come to know that it is better to synergize transparently than to redefine intuitively. The mega-re-sizing factor is wireless. We understand that it is better to actualize virtually than to evolve dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? We frequently cultivate C2B2B aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! We understand that it is better to brand transparently than to facilitate virally. We will monetize the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "blog-based". We will leverage the capacity of nano-niches to enhance. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? We will maximize the industry jargon "B2B2C". Yahoo has refactored the idea of world-class, turn-key e-businesses. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Without preplanned cross-platform, impactful, transparent, intuitive e-business, short-term short-term, impactful re-sizing, niches are forced to become seamless. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. Without well-chosen channels, returns-on-investment are forced to become client-focused. Think micro-enterprise. We will add to our capacity to iterate without decreasing our power to visualize. If you streamline proactively, you may have to exploit perfectly. We will transition the ability of applications to expedite. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar?