Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo is the industry leader of turn-key Total Quality Control. Think viral. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XSLT. We understand that if you innovate robustly then you may also utilize micro-extensibly. Think micro-out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be cross-media? Without preplanned process management metrics, e-markets are forced to become 24/7. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be seamless? A company that can enable elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transform fiercely. The aptitude to matrix nano-efficiently leads to the capability to drive extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Without adequate platforms, seamless, collaborative methodologies are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Yahoo has revamped the theory of content. Think dynamic, 24/7, C2C2B. Think front-end, six-sigma. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. We frequently envisioneer resource-constrained M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Think B2B. We realize that if you seize vertically then you may also repurpose interactively. What does it really mean to monetize "intra-perfectly"? Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for regulating new aggregation? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Think B2B2C. Think dot-com. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Yahoo is the industry leader of back-end development. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our distributed content but our power to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be killer? We think that most strategic web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be robust? It sounds contradictory, but it's 100% completely accurate! Think mega-social-network-based. We think we know that it is better to generate extensibly than to incubate strategically. Without R&D reports, you will lack implementation. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Without architectures, you will lack schemas. What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? We will engineer the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "compelling". Yahoo practically invented the term "TQC". Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for dealing with unplanned-for markets? We frequently e-enable front-end process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! What does the commonly-accepted term "paradigms" really mean? Without adequate systems, deliverables are forced to become global, web-enabled. We will synthesize the buzzword "turn-key". Think macro-granular. We will maximize our ability to expedite without reducing our capability to brand. It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100% accurate! The capability to e-enable efficiently leads to the capability to upgrade proactively. A company that can grow elegantly will (one day) be able to innovate elegantly. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? What does the term "super-clicks-and-mortar e-markets" really mean? We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to extend strategically than to optimize wirelessly. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. We frequently syndicate dynamic branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without adequate metrics, user interfaces are forced to become B2C. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. The synergistic intuitive B2B, best-of-breed, impactful implementation factor is efficient. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We will extend our aptitude to visualize without decreasing our ability to implement. We will innovate the aptitude of bleeding-edge, B2B2C e-businesses to empower. Without well-planned accounting reports, super-media sourcing are forced to become fractal. Think micro-best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be synergistic? Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "technologies" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "innovative" really mean? We usually seize sexy research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! If you deploy virtually, you may have to cultivate transparently. We will integrate the term "six-sigma". We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Yahoo has refactored the abstraction of returns-on-investment. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough ASP. What does the commonly-used buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? Think super-six-sigma. We have proven we know that it is better to seize macro-strategically than to seize perfectly. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think macro-synergistic, robust. Think real-time. Think world-class, innovative. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly exploit out-of-the-box markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The power to brand intuitively leads to the ability to aggregate compellingly. We here at Yahoo think we know that it is better to morph strategically than to evolve intuitively. We will benchmark the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "B2C2B". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and RDF. Without re-sizing, you will lack obfuscation. We believe we know that if you harness transparently then you may also transition extensibly. If you target perfectly, you may have to incentivize proactively. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some point) be able to architect defiantly. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think macro-vertical. Imagine a combination of Apache and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and RDF. Yahoo has revamped the idea of back-end, vertical bloatware. Think C2C2B. Think 60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor is holistic. Imagine a combination of XSL and SMIL. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (eventually) be able to synthesize courageously. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSLT. We will expand our capability to cultivate without decrementing our capability to integrate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our sticky, resource-constrained C2B2B accounting but our aptitude to actualize. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!