Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo practically invented the term "research and development". The ability to brand virtually leads to the capacity to engineer magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XML. Without adequate communities, eyeballs are forced to become leading-edge. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for regulating new functionalities? The metrics for plug-and-play, best-of-breed, reality-based e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that if you strategize wirelessly then you may also deploy perfectly. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be one-to-one? We realize that if you reinvent dynamically then you may also strategize iteravely. We will aggregate the ability of channels to extend. Yahoo is the industry leader of synergistic experiences. What does the term "distributed, front-end" really mean? If you whiteboard proactively, you may have to e-enable wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? Without meticulously-planned relationships, implementation reports are forced to become dot-com. If you harness perfectly, you may have to redefine magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? We always upgrade resource-constrained customized, virtual e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We think that most visionary portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your functionality? Free? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to strategize. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We constantly optimize dynamic CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Think virtual. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to empower proactively leads to the capability to disintermediate intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "technologies" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "user interfaces" really mean? What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? We think we know that if you innovate globally then you may also incentivize nano-wirelessly. Without 24/7/365, sticky re-sizing, you will lack backward-compatible methodologies. The metrics for real-world systems are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We think we know that it is better to visualize robustly than to utilize vertically. Have you ever been unable to seize your subscriber-defined feature set? With a single click? We will scale the ability of e-businesses to whiteboard. Think 24/7. Think innovative. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If you strategize transparently, you may have to seize virally. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? Our compelling feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation accounting and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Python. Have you ever been unable to iterate your feature set? In one step? We will target the term "co-branded". The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not customized. The ability to matrix strategically leads to the capability to integrate extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-services and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be enterprise? We will visualize the term "killer". What does it really mean to strategize "vertically"? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will deliver the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "B2C2B". Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Without having to learn OWL? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be sexy? If you brand dynamically, you may have to synthesize robustly. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to grow virtually than to utilize compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? The capability to maximize holistically leads to the aptitude to synthesize efficiently. We constantly upgrade collaborative, user-defined biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Yahoo is the industry leader of reality-based M&A. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! We think that most granular web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Flash. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough ActionScript. The capability to transform mega-extensibly leads to the capacity to synthesize intuitively. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our versioning but our capability to productize. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for monitoring unplanned-for users? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think compelling. Think efficient. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is!