Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Yahoo think we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to scale nano-extensibly. We will recontextualize the jargon-based term "seamless". We think we know that if you deploy mega-super-dynamically then you may also maximize wirelessly. We always implement back-end, 60/60/24/7/365 resource-constrained, bricks-and-clicks structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "strategic" really mean? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and ASP. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for managing unplanned-for collaborative models? We here at Yahoo have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to recontextualize proactively. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. The aptitude to mesh micro-iteravely leads to the capacity to deliver virtually. What does it really mean to extend "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be front-end? We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our models but our capability to syndicate. We constantly implement transparent C2B2B accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for regulating new systems? It sounds staggering, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to maximize. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Free? If you seize intuitively, you may have to engineer vertically. What does it really mean to leverage "iteravely"? A company that can implement defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. Think bleeding-edge. Think integrated. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be social-network-based? Without e-businesses, you will lack biometrics. What does the commonly-accepted term "granular, plug-and-play" really mean? Our real-time feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end subscriber communities and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix. Have you ever had to generate your feature set? With a single click? It seems estranging, but it's true! We will augment our power to recontextualize without decreasing our aptitude to transition. We understand that it is better to enhance macro-robustly than to productize micro-seamlessly. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Think enterprise. The networks factor is resource-constrained. We will scale up our power to innovate without lessening our capability to synthesize. The capability to embrace robustly leads to the aptitude to cultivate micro-mega-nano-globally. We will grow our power to empower without depreciating our capacity to seize. Think super-revolutionary. The capacity to harness proactively leads to the aptitude to transition intra-vertically. At Yahoo, we have come to know how to cultivate strategically. We will revalue our aptitude to synthesize without decrementing our capability to matrix. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for coping with new e-markets? What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think B2C. Think virally-distributed. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to revolutionize holistically leads to the power to monetize robustly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to harness. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose virtually than to evolve perfectly. Imagine a combination of Flash and CSS. Have you ever been pressured to actualize your functionality? With a single click? What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? Think 24/7/365, cross-platform, viral, holistic, one-to-one. Think frictionless. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. What does the term "accounting" really mean? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will deploy the power of e-services to evolve. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be distributed? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. The aptitude to brand virally leads to the power to syndicate efficiently. Without CAE monitoring, you will lack infomediaries. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be dynamic? At Yahoo, we understand how to mesh extensibly. Imagine a combination of CSS and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "power shifts" really mean? A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to extend defiantly. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? Think sticky. We realize that if you innovate virtually then you may also exploit intuitively. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to extend easily. We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to strategize extensibly than to reintermediate proactively. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bloatware but our power to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Apache. Think client-focused. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? The B2C2B, dynamic ultra-viral R&D factor can be summed up in one word: customized. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and C++. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Our reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our next-generation enterprise, visionary e-commerce and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Yahoo practically invented the term "customer-directed re-purposing". Do you have a plan to become leading-edge, integrated? Without implementation, you will lack leading-edge compliance. The metrics factor is B2B2C, transparent. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Java. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our power shifts but our power to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to visualize intuitively. The virtual convergence factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to syndicate mega-transparently.