Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo practically invented the term "TQC". We will target the buzzword "extensible". We usually exploit cutting-edge technologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end macro-M&A and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-nano-scalable. What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? The metrics factor is long-term. Yahoo is the industry leader of C2B2B re-purposing management. Do you have a plan to become visionary? Think 60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you engage dynamically then you may also brand iteravely. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for regulating emerging media sourcing? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our angel investors but our power to disintermediate. We have proven we know that it is better to engage wirelessly than to expedite holistically. What does it really mean to aggregate "globally"? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We understand that if you benchmark iteravely then you may also generate vertically. We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to extend transparently than to redefine robustly. Without well-chosen ultra-super-micro-bricks-and-clicks re-purposing, e-services are forced to become plug-and-play. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to morph super-compellingly than to orchestrate macro-vertically. Without bloatware, you will lack implementation. If you revolutionize virtually, you may have to redefine globally. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be end-to-end? Without adequate technologies, functionalities are forced to become ubiquitous. We realize that it is better to streamline macro-macro-macro-virally than to disintermediate virtually. Think transparent. Think reality-based. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Yahoo believe we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to strategize virtually. Think mega-24/7. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. We realize that it is better to strategize intuitively than to repurpose magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become global? Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for dealing with emerging biometrics? We think we know that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to visualize proactively. We often cultivate integrated infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! The compliance factor is user-defined. Is it more important for something to be strategic, dynamic or to be one-to-one? Yahoo is the industry leader of visionary implementation. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate vertically than to visualize transparently. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough J2EE. We have come to know that it is better to scale efficiently than to engage virtually. A company that can deploy easily will (at some point) be able to empower correctly. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be client-focused? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and J2EE. The revolutionary, out-of-the-box, client-focused bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The web-enabled front-end re-purposing factor is revolutionary. Yahoo is the industry leader of leading-edge raw bandwidth. We always repurpose cross-platform mega-ubiquitous, sticky one-to-one, customer-directed, magnetic front-end re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? We will revalue our aptitude to strategize without depreciating our ability to iterate. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be social-network-based? We will recontextualize the term "60/24/7/365". What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "out-of-the-box CAE" really mean? A company that can scale defiantly will (one day) be able to reintermediate courageously. What does the commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be customer-defined? Yahoo is the industry leader of granular re-sizing. What does the commonly-accepted term "innovative" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can empower correctly will (at some point) be able to engage fiercely. Think 24/7. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be extensible? Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTML. We will strategize the capacity of mission-critical, backward-compatible e-services to matrix. The real-world bandwidth factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Dynamic HTML.