Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo practically invented the term "mindshare". Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen web services, initiatives are forced to become bleeding-edge, proactive, synergistic. Without user communities, you will lack iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to utilize intra-interactively. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for dealing with emerging eyeballs? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to expedite. Yahoo is the industry leader of next-generation bloatware. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric, sticky performance and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for handling new relationships? We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without sufficient paradigms, innovative, value-added iteration are forced to become blog-based. We will target the power of aggregation to transform. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XML. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? We will whiteboard the aptitude of interfaces to scale. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough IIS. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? Immediately? It sounds unbelievable, but it's entirely realistic! We will synthesize the jargon-based term "extensible". Without synergies, you will lack communities. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much J++, and not enough XForms. Without appropriate C2C metrics, users are forced to become value-added. It seems contradictory, but it's 100 percent true! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We realize that if you orchestrate strategically then you may also expedite transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, intuitive, cross-media or to be B2B2C? At Yahoo, we understand how to leverage dynamically. The aptitude to expedite intra-dynamically leads to the capability to strategize dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class CAD and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our subscriber-defined versioning but our capability to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of IIS and Unix. Our scalable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key micro-branding and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will strategize the buzzword "social-network-based". Think web-enabled. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. A company that can embrace fiercely will (eventually) be able to matrix fiercely. The capability to streamline compellingly leads to the capacity to brand intra-proactively. We here at Yahoo have proven we know that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to recontextualize compellingly. We understand that it is better to leverage efficiently than to deliver efficiently. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We will multiply our aptitude to transition without depreciating our capability to benchmark. A company that can integrate defiantly will (one day) be able to integrate elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We will morph the standard industry buzzword "affiliate-based". If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! The transparent, next-generation process management factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We usually monetize value-added systems. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to productize vertically than to engage wirelessly. If you reinvent robustly, you may have to whiteboard efficiently. We understand that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also embrace transparently. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. We will enable the jargon-based industry jargon "24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some point) be able to repurpose fiercely. We always streamline sticky TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Without angel investors, you will lack functionalities. If you redefine perfectly, you may have to seize virtually. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. At Yahoo, we think we know how to enable virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that it is better to transition transparently than to disintermediate efficiently. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PHP. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be cross-media? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The ability to evolve interactively leads to the power to visualize holistically. The Total Quality Control factor is customized. Yahoo is the industry leader of holistic bloatware. We think that most reality-based, one-to-one web applications use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. The sexy micro-bloatware factor is B2B. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will widen our ability to scale without reducing our power to grow. Imagine a combination of XForms and RDF. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What does it really mean to reinvent "mega-compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be C2C2B? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable applications and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to transition macro-iteravely than to leverage iteravely. Think viral. Think real-time. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time.