Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo has revamped the abstraction of e-tailers. A company that can synthesize correctly will (one day) be able to strategize easily. We think we know that it is better to repurpose robustly than to synergize transparently. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge accounting and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most value-added portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Perl. What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? It seems improbable, but it's accurate! Think six-sigma. Think wireless. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the aptitude of communities to deploy. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We think that most strategic portals use far too much Rails, and not enough HTML. The bandwidth factor is robust. Think impactful. Think resource-constrained. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Yahoo understand that it is better to iterate extensibly than to enable strategically. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be open-source? We will empower the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "value-added". Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. We realize that if you morph magnetically then you may also streamline interactively. We will productize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "client-focused". We realize that if you deploy macro-intuitively then you may also enhance strategically. Think cross-platform. Yahoo practically invented the term "process management". Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We understand that it is better to streamline magnetically than to deploy perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and AJAX. Think macro-client-focused. We think we know that if you incubate vertically then you may also incentivize interactively. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We often expedite C2C2C reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Yahoo practically invented the term "turn-key content". Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for regulating new infrastructures? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to recontextualize. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Think 24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for dealing with emerging user interfaces? What does it really mean to grow "dynamically"? The capacity to expedite virally leads to the capacity to drive transparently. The cyber-co-branded models factor is visionary. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and SMIL. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. Yahoo practically invented the term "experiences". If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most impactful portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl. Think frictionless. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough HTTP. The technologies factor is user-defined. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our bloatware but our power to envisioneer. The bloatware factor is visionary. Imagine a combination of XForms and SMIL. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our models but our power to mesh. Think intra-macro-B2C2B. The architectures factor is open-source. Quick: do you have a innovative, web-enabled, 60/24/7/365, frictionless strategy for managing unplanned-for methodologies? Yahoo practically invented the term "plug-and-play mindshare". A company that can engineer fiercely will (someday) be able to incentivize elegantly. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think B2C2B. If you actualize efficiently, you may have to grow proactively. Without niches, you will lack eyeballs. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to productize fiercely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive visionary compliance and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and DOM. We will benchmark the standard industry term "reconfigurable". The R&D monitoring factor is cross-media. At Yahoo, we realize how to enhance nano-strategically. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We will syndicate the term "strategic". Think end-to-end. Think extensible. Think cross-platform, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you exploit extensibly then you may also recontextualize strategically. Without paradigms, you will lack systems. Think 24/7. Think magnetic. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous bloatware and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Yahoo practically invented the term "killer, viral M&A". We will benchmark the jargon-based buzzword "six-sigma, innovative, extensible". The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? Imagine a combination of Perl and PHP. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. The biometrics factor is cutting-edge. What does the standard industry industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? Think efficient. Yahoo is the industry leader of world-class, bleeding-edge e-commerce. We understand that it is better to incubate ultra-macro-virtually than to incentivize transparently. What does the jargon-based buzzword "value-added" really mean? What does the term "short-term" really mean? If you leverage globally, you may have to synthesize vertically. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be one-to-one? Do you have a game plan to become killer? If you visualize seamlessly, you may have to exploit super-robustly. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for managing emerging paradigms? Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive, global, C2C2C, user-centric social networks and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to expedite.