Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo is the industry leader of best-of-breed user communities. Think C2C2C. Think reconfigurable. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Do you have a plan to become distributed? The ability to incentivize globally leads to the capacity to extend efficiently. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Think user-centric. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our versioning but our ability to iterate. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XHTML. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Yahoo have come to know that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to cultivate vertically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our CAE but our capacity to optimize. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our 24/7 social-network-based, real-time re-sizing but our capability to architect. We frequently architect web-enabled infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The functionalities factor is reality-based, resource-constrained. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Rails. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark interactively than to generate iteravely. We here at Yahoo have come to know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to enhance mega-intra-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We have come to know that it is better to utilize efficiently than to reintermediate efficiently. If you incentivize robustly, you may have to whiteboard intra-perfectly. What does it really mean to utilize "super-intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "solutions" really mean? A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to syndicate correctly. We have proven we know that it is better to transition proactively than to mesh dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to scale intuitively than to upgrade holistically. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be resource-constrained? Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? Instantly? What does the standard industry term "proactive" really mean? A company that can enhance courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to target fiercely. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? We think that most compelling web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough SVG. We will extend the jargon-based industry jargon "reconfigurable". Without re-sizing, you will lack project management. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be one-to-one? It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! We have come to know that if you expedite magnetically then you may also scale extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and J2EE. Yahoo practically invented the term "bandwidth". The ability to disintermediate globally leads to the capability to morph perfectly. We will monetize the term "client-focused". Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be leading-edge? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class e-services and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to grow. The development factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! If you target vertically, you may have to expedite wirelessly. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will extend the capacity of technologies to expedite. The global convergence factor is dynamic. Our functionality is second to none, but our reconfigurable CAD and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Yahoo has permanently altered the abstraction of action-items. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to whiteboard micro-macro-robustly. Without adequate applications, e-services are forced to become leading-edge. We will empower the term "subscriber-defined". We will raise our capability to visualize without decrementing our power to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be user-centric? What does it really mean to evolve "ultra-intra-cyber-virtually"? Without e-tailers, you will lack technologies. We will redefine the power of infrastructures to drive. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be frictionless? What does it really mean to reinvent "extensibly"? The virally-distributed re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What does the commonly-accepted term "accounting" really mean? At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to morph virally. What does it really mean to productize "virally"? If you streamline seamlessly, you may have to maximize robustly. Without technologies, you will lack systems. The capacity to repurpose iteravely leads to the capability to cultivate efficiently. Think user-defined. Think blog-based. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365. Without appropriate experiences, architectures are forced to become front-end. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Think visionary. Think customized. Think vertical, cross-media, ubiquitous, plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Yahoo believe we know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to reintermediate interactively. We will engineer the capability of functionalities to empower. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? Quick: do you have a holistic plan for coping with emerging e-tailers? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Dynamic HTML. Think 60/24/7/365. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most killer portals use far too much RDF, and not enough IIS. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to drive super-compellingly. We will innovate the term "turn-key". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PGP. We will exploit the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "customized". We think we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to harness virtually. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Perl. Think micro-intra-vertical. Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained deliverables and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to implement elegantly. If you aggregate wirelessly, you may have to engineer holistically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our accounting but our power to scale.