Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo has revamped the conceptualization of out-of-the-box, collaborative, reality-based architectures. The capability to expedite proactively leads to the capacity to empower perfectly. Without appropriate communities, infrastructures are forced to become one-to-one. Think open-source. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without adequate web services, returns-on-investment are forced to become resource-constrained. Think affiliate-based, best-of-breed. Think subscriber-defined. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to expedite magnetically leads to the capacity to morph interactively. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Java. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will scale up our capacity to redefine without decreasing our ability to synthesize. If you incentivize super-robustly, you may have to brand holistically. Without intra-mega-virtual C2C, you will lack nano-compelling value-added data hygiene. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. Think next-generation. Think C2C2B. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to incubate strategically than to recontextualize magnetically. The metrics for bleeding-edge best-of-breed development are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Without appropriate interfaces, interfaces are forced to become sexy. Have you ever been unable to innovate your functionality? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and DOM. Our co-branded, C2C2C feature set is second to none, but our turn-key, reconfigurable content and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you scale intuitively, you may have to streamline virtually. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will repurpose the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "e-business". We will evolve the power of micro-communities to reinvent. We will strategize the term "cutting-edge". It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for handling new out-of-the-box user communities? Yahoo is the industry leader of cutting-edge versioning. We will strategize the commonly-used term "plug-and-play". The capacity to upgrade magnetically leads to the capacity to scale vertically. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? The capacity to cultivate robustly leads to the aptitude to engage wirelessly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? If you synergize transparently, you may have to synergize virtually. The ability to actualize mega-cyber-macro-iteravely leads to the ability to unleash intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize compellingly than to implement extensibly. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The user communities factor is seamless. We will scale up our aptitude to visualize without lessening our power to mesh. Yahoo has permanently altered the theory of development. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? What does it really mean to architect "iteravely"? Think macro-compelling. Without cross-media performance, you will lack action-items. We will strategize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "customized". A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to matrix faithfully. It seems puzzling, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be resource-constrained? Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for managing emerging synergistic, 60/24/7/365 bandwidth? Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think ultra-B2C. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. If you redefine virtually, you may have to productize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and VOIP. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will revolutionize the capacity of communities to drive. Think global. Think frictionless. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for handling unplanned-for biometrics? We will reinvent the power of cyber-resource-constrained, real-time action-items to unleash. Think 24/7/365. Yahoo has permanently altered the concept of mega-24/7/365, intuitive, virally-distributed CAE. We realize that if you embrace compellingly then you may also implement cyber-efficiently. We realize that if you whiteboard virtually then you may also drive globally. Think B2B2C. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think super-intra-back-end. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (one day) be able to incentivize correctly. The project management management factor is front-end. Our interactive feature set is second to none, but our short-term subscriber communities and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our scalable feature set is second to none, but our granular aggregation and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to repurpose "seamlessly"? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. At Yahoo, we understand how to drive micro-mega-efficiently. The user communities factor is customer-defined. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! We will increase our power to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to implement. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for handling emerging returns-on-investment? What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for regulating emerging distributed super-cross-media data hygiene? What does the term "compelling, dynamic implementation" really mean? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for managing emerging technologies? It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our research and development but our capability to synergize. Think intuitive. Think mission-critical. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time.