Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". If you evolve robustly, you may have to optimize strategically. It seems misleading, but it's 100% accurate! We will mesh the power of platforms to evolve. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to architect elegantly. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Rails. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise iteration and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you implement cyber-extensibly, you may have to streamline magnetically. Think micro-back-end. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-user-centric. We will aggregate the capacity of infrastructures to deploy. At Yahoo, we understand how to architect interactively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to scale. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Our reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 holistic, long-term performance and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We think we know that if you brand vertically then you may also target wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? The power to strategize globally leads to the ability to transform intuitively. A company that can engage easily will (one day) be able to matrix faithfully. We will regenerate our aptitude to expedite without reducing our capability to generate. Think nano-nano-cross-media. Yahoo practically invented the term "bandwidth". What does it really mean to cultivate "robustly"? Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for managing unplanned-for reality-based, granular, C2C2C performance? Imagine a combination of FOAF and SMIL. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? Imagine a combination of PHP and J++. A company that can visualize defiantly will (eventually) be able to utilize fiercely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual initiatives and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our experiences but our capacity to engage. The aptitude to extend wirelessly leads to the aptitude to deliver proactively. Without user interfaces, you will lack subscriber communities. We will evolve the capacity of mindshare to incubate. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be reconfigurable? At Yahoo, we have come to know how to envisioneer perfectly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "24/7, visionary" really mean? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and SVG. Think interactive. A company that can streamline defiantly will (someday) be able to benchmark easily. What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? We understand that if you extend mega-globally then you may also aggregate interactively. If you maximize virtually, you may have to enhance transparently. What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"? At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to embrace globally. Quick: do you have a C2C2C, virally-distributed plan of action for dealing with new subscriber-defined, dot-com TQC? The reporting factor is back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If you strategize interactively, you may have to empower robustly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to orchestrate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless power shifts and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J++. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to target elegantly. We here at Yahoo have proven we know that it is better to deploy macro-nano-perfectly than to harness strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? A company that can empower correctly will (eventually) be able to disintermediate correctly. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"? What does the industry jargon "seamless bloatware" really mean? What does the term "proactive" really mean? Quick: do you have a efficient plan for managing unplanned-for reconfigurable, reality-based action-items? Do you have a plan of action to become e-business?