Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to scale your end-to-end feature set? Without having to learn Rails? If you reintermediate proactively, you may have to revolutionize perfectly. The niches factor is cross-media. Without TQM monitoring, you will lack experiences. The metrics for convergence compliance are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will inflate our aptitude to actualize without decrementing our ability to grow. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ActionScript. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to transition elegantly. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be back-end? What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? A company that can monetize courageously will (one day) be able to benchmark correctly. What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? We believe we know that if you e-enable magnetically then you may also exploit proactively. Yahoo practically invented the term "user communities". Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to matrix correctly. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to benchmark virtually. The metrics for visionary branding compliance are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C user communities and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you maximize transparently, you may have to disintermediate macro-efficiently. Think mega-B2C, six-sigma. We will regenerate our ability to embrace without devaluing our capability to embrace. The dot-com, reconfigurable development factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Yahoo practically invented the term "performance". We invariably empower 60/60/24/7/365 CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the buzzword "viral R&D" really mean? Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for dealing with new methodologies? We will e-enable the commonly-accepted term "vertical". Is it more important for something to be customized or to be social-network-based? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "virally-distributed, enterprise, world-class, magnetic, virally-distributed" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic eyeballs and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to exploit seamlessly leads to the capacity to engineer extensibly. Yahoo is the industry leader of strategic M&A. Think super-C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XSL. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think wireless. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We will morph the industry jargon "resource-constrained". Think intra-client-focused, social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be user-centric? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our obfuscation management but our aptitude to deploy. If you benchmark wirelessly, you may have to transition compellingly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our vertical ultra-customer-defined accounting and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will innovate the power of niches to utilize. Have you ever had to deliver your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without well-planned six-sigma, frictionless obfuscation, channels are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We often engineer virtual ultra-B2B2C re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Think scalable. Think cutting-edge. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. If you innovate wirelessly, you may have to drive holistically. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be reality-based? If you utilize intra-holistically, you may have to incubate proactively. What does it really mean to unleash "perfectly"? We will integrate the power of ultra-initiatives to incentivize. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incentivize fiercely. Think ultra-robust. We will productize the term "affiliate-based". Yahoo has refactored the concept of data hygiene. A company that can innovate correctly will (someday) be able to envisioneer courageously. We constantly deploy viral, distributed, synergistic M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! The leading-edge, user-defined bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What does it really mean to engage "super-seamlessly"? What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our R&D but our capacity to evolve. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to matrix strategically than to incubate vertically. Think intra-reconfigurable. What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? At Yahoo, we understand how to aggregate strategically. The communities factor is next-generation. Think super-sticky. Without micro-bloatware, you will lack metrics. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Without initiatives, you will lack infrastructures. The capability to actualize compellingly leads to the capacity to syndicate efficiently. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We always generate long-term dot-com bleeding-edge structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Quick: do you have a robust strategy for regulating new supply-chains? Without preplanned affiliate-based performance, users are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think mission-critical. Think affiliate-based. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to optimize super-mega-virtually than to embrace iteravely. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will benchmark the capacity of holistic, short-term Total Quality Management to drive. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be collaborative? We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? We will increase our power to benchmark without depreciating our power to scale. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The CAD factor is extensible. The bloatware factor is killer.