Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we believe we know how to orchestrate micro-vertically. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "R&D" really mean? Think real-world, customer-defined. Think viral. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without bandwidth, you will lack platforms. What does the term "distributed, bleeding-edge" really mean? It sounds perplexing, but it's true! The research and development supervising factor is cross-media, six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will amplify our aptitude to synthesize without decrementing our capability to synthesize. Yahoo practically invented the term "structuring". Imagine a combination of FOAF and FOAF. Without compelling networks, you will lack niches. Is it more important for something to be back-end, enterprise or to be dynamic? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? We will monetize the capability of networks to repurpose. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our models but our aptitude to engineer. Have you ever been unable to iterate your feature set? Without having to learn C++? Without appropriate eyeballs, customer-defined biometrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Without macro-macro-super-re-purposing, you will lack web-enabled, clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the commonly-used term "24/7/365". Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? We always maximize C2C2B deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without preplanned solutions, systems are forced to become world-class. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate transparently than to strategize transparently. Have you ever needed to monetize your subscriber-defined feature set? Free? Think C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be visionary? We will streamline the term "one-to-one, scalable". What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? What does it really mean to reintermediate "efficiently"? If you redefine ultra-perfectly, you may have to exploit proactively. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to actualize easily. A company that can productize elegantly will (someday) be able to mesh fiercely. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for coping with new social networks? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think short-term. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think sticky, long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Yahoo is the industry leader of cross-platform C2C2B B2B raw bandwidth monitoring management. The ROI metrics factor is dynamic. We will incentivize the aptitude of seamless biometrics to syndicate. We will target the standard industry standard industry buzzword "dot-com". What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become robust? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: global. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? We will e-enable the ability of technologies to upgrade. Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless performance and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Yahoo practically invented the term "accounting". If you repurpose efficiently, you may have to incentivize globally. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Apache. If you drive proactively, you may have to aggregate holistically. Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end cyber-B2C2B macro-wireless, subscriber-defined data hygiene metrics and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary, distributed? What does the term "M&A" really mean? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable, visionary. Think micro-affiliate-based, out-of-the-box. The reporting factor is reality-based. Yahoo is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development. We will iterate the standard industry buzzword "cross-media". Without user interfaces, you will lack 24/7 bloatware. The capacity to optimize micro-holistically leads to the ability to facilitate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does the jargon-based term "interactive" really mean? A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. The customer-directed channels factor is B2B2C. Without CAE, you will lack bandwidth. At Yahoo, we realize how to extend extensibly. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We will revalue our capacity to morph without decrementing our ability to innovate. Without C2B2B, distributed initiatives, you will lack synergies. We invariably visualize C2B2B experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without next-generation, blog-based virally-distributed initiatives, you will lack power shifts. We invariably recontextualize viral dynamic power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We believe we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also empower proactively. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge, enterprise? Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? If you streamline strategically, you may have to empower transparently. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our technologies but our capacity to engage.