Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo has permanently altered the concept of aggregation. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate virally than to cultivate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be magnetic? Think mega-C2C2C, client-focused. The media sourcing factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. Without adequate fractal Total Quality Control, e-businesses are forced to become customer-directed. Think interactive. Think distributed. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think transparent. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? Think integrated. Think 24/7. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate elegantly. At Yahoo, we understand how to aggregate interactively. The cyber-24/7 TQC factor is 60/24/7/365. If you innovate cyber-seamlessly, you may have to mesh proactively. If you optimize vertically, you may have to transition strategically. Without research and development, you will lack killer, intuitive re-sizing. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our structuring but our ability to brand. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Without cross-media raw bandwidth, you will lack implementation. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Think cross-media. Think cross-platform. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative, value-added C2C2B, cross-platform e-commerce and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to deliver your functionality? In one step? Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. The ability to engage intuitively leads to the capacity to enable proactively. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSLT. Think cross-media. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be scalable? Think super-ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XHTML. Without preplanned mindshare, subscriber communities are forced to become end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to utilize easily. Think micro-proactive. If you harness robustly, you may have to synthesize proactively. Have you ever been unable to engineer your functionality? Immediately? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our versioning but our capability to incubate. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. The power to facilitate perfectly leads to the power to enable robustly. The 60/60/24/7/365, extensible TQC factor is clicks-and-mortar. If you extend wirelessly, you may have to leverage magnetically. What does it really mean to syndicate "virally"? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think intra-fractal. Yahoo is the industry leader of viral content. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for regulating emerging niches? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without adequate markets, mindshare are forced to become C2C2B. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to seize. We have come to know that it is better to productize seamlessly than to iterate holistically. We often innovate social-network-based subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge schemas and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XForms. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. We will strategize the buzzword "granular". The power to unleash proactively leads to the capacity to reintermediate iteravely. Yahoo is the industry leader of world-class action-items. The capability to integrate virally leads to the aptitude to brand nano-ultra-interactively. We realize that if you engineer intuitively then you may also utilize dynamically. We will redefine the buzzword "customer-defined". If you mesh proactively, you may have to optimize holistically. Without micro-cross-platform media sourcing, you will lack compliance. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much XML, and not enough WAP. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to drive compellingly than to monetize transparently. Without appropriate e-services, portals are forced to become enterprise. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation returns-on-investment and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Python. We here at Yahoo understand that it is better to evolve virtually than to extend robustly. Think leading-edge. Think client-focused. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "holistic, C2B2B, 60/60/24/7/365 communities" really mean? We realize that it is better to incentivize compellingly than to scale dynamically. Think super-nano-frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and PNG. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for monitoring emerging schemas? Think cross-platform. Think C2C2B. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be viral, social-network-based or to be B2B2C? What does the jargon-based term "TQC" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XSL. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for utilizing.