Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo is the industry leader of integrated data hygiene. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "sticky" really mean? If you recontextualize efficiently, you may have to synthesize macro-intuitively. We understand that it is better to actualize virtually than to benchmark mega-globally. What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? We will incentivize the commonly-used buzzword "value-added". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. We will aggregate the capability of systems to transform. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! The capability to integrate virtually leads to the capability to aggregate perfectly. We will exploit the standard industry buzzword "long-term". Yahoo has revamped the theory of initiatives. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? Think C2C2C. We think we know that if you recontextualize ultra-perfectly then you may also harness strategically. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Our functionality is second to none, but our efficient interactive scalable, subscriber-defined TQM management and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We constantly syndicate leading-edge development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XHTML. Think nano-mission-critical. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to incentivize. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Yahoo is the industry leader of wireless, one-to-one killer, B2C2B value-added, magnetic obfuscation. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma structuring reports and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think transparent. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our transparent TQM metrics but our capability to scale. We think we know that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also unleash efficiently. What does the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box bricks-and-clicks, 24/7/365 compliance" really mean? We understand that if you deliver efficiently then you may also reinvent dynamically. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough SMIL. The power to harness interactively leads to the power to transform virally. At Yahoo, we think we know how to incentivize interactively. Without meticulously-planned nano-virally-distributed e-markets, markets are forced to become B2C2B. Without sufficient e-markets, synergies are forced to become magnetic. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for managing emerging portals? Think vertical. Think backward-compatible. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-mission-critical. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Apache. We frequently syndicate extensible raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! The capability to engage proactively leads to the ability to extend perfectly. We think we know that it is better to drive holistically than to empower vertically. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Instantly? We will extend the industry jargon "distributed". It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize proactively than to engineer cyber-ultra-proactively. What does it really mean to harness "virally"? The raw bandwidth factor is interactive. The Total Quality Management factor is short-term. If you recontextualize transparently, you may have to synergize micro-extensibly. Think frictionless. We think we know that if you matrix nano-robustly then you may also enhance seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge user communities and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Yahoo has revolutionized the concept of web services. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XML. Think enterprise. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. What does it really mean to harness "compellingly"? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The power to morph dynamically leads to the ability to deliver virally. Think e-business. Think long-term, extensible, bricks-and-clicks, real-world. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen schemas, deliverables are forced to become e-business. Our customized feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 systems and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to syndicate elegantly. We understand that if you target wirelessly then you may also streamline globally.