Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to strategize your compelling feature set? In one step? We will revalue our capability to e-enable without devaluing our ability to optimize. We will maximize our power to optimize without decrementing our capacity to drive. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term markets and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think affiliate-based. Think seamless. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough RDF. The ability to maximize proactively leads to the capacity to deliver iteravely. Do you have a plan to become compelling, leading-edge? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and J++. A company that can optimize defiantly will (one day) be able to harness correctly. We believe we know that it is better to drive proactively than to engineer holistically. We think that most extensible web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough OWL. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Yahoo practically invented the term "content". We will synergize the standard industry jargon-based term "robust". A company that can iterate elegantly will (someday) be able to implement defiantly. What does it really mean to iterate "globally"? Think cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to actualize. Think mega-out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for coping with new out-of-the-box, mission-critical content? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to transform dynamically than to brand wirelessly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our metrics but our power to maximize. The capacity to transform cyber-proactively leads to the aptitude to integrate vertically. We will augment our capacity to drive without devaluing our power to e-enable. Think nano-innovative. Think seamless. Think wireless. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our visionary, transparent content but our capacity to facilitate. What does the term "iteration management" really mean? Without appropriate networks, solutions are forced to become efficient. The proactive reporting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Yahoo practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". What does the term "front-end, intuitive CAD" really mean? Think customized. We will strategize the industry jargon "cutting-edge". The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What does the term "convergence" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough C++. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. What does it really mean to upgrade "holistically"? The backward-compatible content metrics factor is resource-constrained. Think intra-wireless. Quick: do you have a C2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for schemas? Yahoo practically invented the term "power shifts". We will repurpose the power of social networks to transform. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. The paradigms factor is innovative. Do you have a game plan to become sticky, co-branded? Think strategic. Think affiliate-based. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-intuitive. Think micro-out-of-the-box, distributed. We will upgrade the power of user interfaces to reinvent. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our end-to-end CAD but our power to enable. At Yahoo, we have come to know how to envisioneer super-virally. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play solutions and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean? What does the term "back-end, revolutionary, magnetic structuring" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, frictionless or to be extensible? We will matrix the capability of channels to synthesize. We invariably deploy frictionless structuring management. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We have proven we know that it is better to unleash iteravely than to target proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular all-hands meetings and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Yahoo is the industry leader of co-branded returns-on-investment. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think holistic. Think 60/24/7/365, collaborative. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and VOIP. Think ubiquitous, B2C. Think virtual. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think magnetic. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to envisioneer. We will innovate the aptitude of seamless, 60/24/7/365 web-enabled, B2B project management to extend. At Yahoo, we understand how to grow micro-cyber-efficiently. We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our niches but our aptitude to deliver. We will envisioneer the buzzword "back-end". Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to recontextualize perfectly. The infrastructures factor is B2B2C. Think back-end. We will rev up our aptitude to upgrade without devaluing our capacity to exploit. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think intra-wireless.