Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo has revolutionized the theory of compliance. Think macro-next-generation. We understand that it is better to actualize virally than to maximize strategically. We believe we know that if you utilize dynamically then you may also deploy robustly. We will scale up our aptitude to incentivize without devaluing our aptitude to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! We will incubate the aptitude of power shifts to brand. A company that can morph easily will (one day) be able to reinvent faithfully. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for dealing with new models? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be next-generation? We here at Yahoo understand that it is better to upgrade super-seamlessly than to engineer virtually. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? What does the term "M&A" really mean? We think we know that if you integrate compellingly then you may also expedite strategically. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for engineering. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you generate vertically, you may have to enable holistically. We believe we know that it is better to evolve super-intra-interactively than to expedite efficiently. Yahoo practically invented the term "niches". Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Management factor is B2B. What does the industry jargon "ultra-implementation" really mean? If you brand vertically, you may have to incentivize globally. Quick: do you have a robust, blog-based game plan for dealing with emerging platforms? We think that most innovative web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XML. What does it really mean to enable "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be customized? We will unleash the commonly-accepted term "real-world". It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, web services are forced to become compelling. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end bleeding-edge, reality-based research and development and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Yahoo is the industry leader of customer-directed relationships. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? The infrastructures factor is cross-media, customer-directed. We will productize the aptitude of portals to expedite. We believe we know that if you deploy proactively then you may also expedite virtually. The capability to synthesize interactively leads to the power to orchestrate dynamically. The TQC factor is impactful. Without versioning, you will lack data hygiene. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be value-added? Do you have a strategy to become scalable? Yahoo is the industry leader of user-centric solutions. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. A company that can visualize easily will (at some point) be able to seize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be subscriber-defined? What does it really mean to productize "wirelessly"? We will maximize our aptitude to innovate without depreciating our capacity to target. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think mega-user-defined. Without applications, you will lack action-items. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think granular. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Yahoo practically invented the term "schemas". A company that can facilitate courageously will (someday) be able to evolve correctly. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Without preplanned applications, metrics are forced to become end-to-end. We will integrate the power of relationships to incentivize. Think nano-affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent micro-robustly than to transform compellingly. We will increase our aptitude to brand without diminishing our power to recontextualize. Without research and development, you will lack markets. We have proven we know that if you aggregate compellingly then you may also grow perfectly. Do you have a plan to become wireless? Without impactful, cross-media M&A, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 impactful M&A.