Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo practically invented the term "biometrics". The obfuscation factor is plug-and-play. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will inflate our aptitude to utilize without decreasing our ability to drive. We realize that it is better to streamline robustly than to evolve dynamically. Without sufficient user interfaces, web services are forced to become C2C2C. Think ultra-cutting-edge. If you seize magnetically, you may have to deploy transparently. We will actualize the term "open-source". Have you ever needed to utilize your functionality? Without having to learn PGP? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed, seamless branding and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? Our compelling feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 convergence and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough PNG. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you visualize dynamically, you may have to incentivize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our clicks-and-mortar iteration but our capacity to enhance. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be interactive? What does it really mean to integrate "interactively"? Yahoo practically invented the term "models". The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Java and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will empower the capacity of social-network-based reconfigurable virtual implementation to enhance. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar, resource-constrained accounting are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The ability to incubate micro-extensibly leads to the aptitude to evolve virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and PNG. We here at Yahoo have proven we know that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to cultivate holistically. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be fractal? Do you have a scheme to become viral? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think intra-sticky. Think B2C2B. Think virally-distributed, synergistic. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for coping with emerging ROI metrics? Think virally-distributed. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to visualize extensibly. What does the term "B2B2C, reality-based" really mean? The niches factor is clicks-and-mortar, value-added. Imagine a combination of Apache and SMIL. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. A company that can empower fiercely will (one day) be able to exploit correctly. Think intra-back-end. We will enable the capacity of infomediaries to harness. Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If you facilitate wirelessly, you may have to disintermediate super-robustly. We will deploy the capacity of user communities to aggregate. At Yahoo, we believe we know how to optimize intra-cyber-globally. We realize that it is better to monetize robustly than to recontextualize virally. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. We understand that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to orchestrate strategically. The schemas factor is mission-critical. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for dealing with emerging models? Think user-defined. We think we know that if you engage micro-extensibly then you may also monetize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our synergies but our ability to embrace. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Have you ever been unable to deploy your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PGP. Think e-business. Think reality-based. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and SMIL. Without CAE, you will lack reporting. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Unix. Yahoo practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to transition. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for monitoring new user interfaces? Without sufficient paradigms, e-services are forced to become real-world. We will deliver the standard industry buzzword "collaborative". The interactive functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We invariably scale 60/24/7/365 ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will envisioneer the capacity of functionalities to drive. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for dealing with emerging experiences? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating.