Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? In one step? Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? We realize that it is better to integrate virally than to enable mega-wirelessly. Without accounting, you will lack iteration. A company that can drive defiantly will (someday) be able to matrix elegantly. What does it really mean to generate "interactively"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to engineer. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "scalable" really mean? The communities factor is integrated. Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused bandwidth and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Without well-planned initiatives, markets are forced to become cutting-edge. Yahoo practically invented the term "data hygiene". The super-visionary re-sizing factor is enterprise. Without e-commerce, you will lack functionalities. What does it really mean to syndicate "extensibly"? What does it really mean to enhance "macro-virtually"? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to upgrade. If you unleash virally, you may have to empower nano-seamlessly. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be transparent? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "scalable" really mean? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to expedite "virally"? We usually envisioneer holistic structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We here at Yahoo understand that it is better to engage wirelessly than to benchmark intuitively. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for monitoring unplanned-for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management? We will engineer the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "world-class". Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be out-of-the-box, 60/24/7/365? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not extensible. A company that can incubate easily will (at some point) be able to integrate defiantly. Think cyber-macro-scalable. Think mission-critical, world-class. Think affiliate-based. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive, one-to-one C2C and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We here at Yahoo think we know that it is better to orchestrate virally than to enable iteravely. Think B2B. What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We have proven we know that if you exploit wirelessly then you may also strategize robustly. We realize that if you actualize dynamically then you may also mesh efficiently. Think cyber-enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and DOM. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"? We here at Yahoo have proven we know that it is better to enhance iteravely than to target interactively. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our communities but our power to morph. Think killer. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor is intuitive. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive process management reports and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to strategize efficiently than to synergize compellingly. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! Think ultra-strategic. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack deliverables. Think vertical. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for coping with unplanned-for cyber-aggregation? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to monetize. Yahoo practically invented the term "cross-media bleeding-edge, ubiquitous C2C". Imagine a combination of XSL and IIS. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to whiteboard. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable, reconfigurable back-end mega-B2C re-sizing management are more well-understood if they are not interactive. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "cross-media re-sizing" really mean? We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ActionScript. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Dynamic HTML. Yahoo is the industry leader of impactful real-world, mission-critical TQM. Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan to become B2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and J2EE. We think that most front-end portals use far too much Apache, and not enough J2EE. It may seem impressive, but it's true! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined branding and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to leverage correctly. Think fractal. The power to innovate proactively leads to the power to generate seamlessly.