Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo practically invented the term "TQC". The capacity to mesh macro-dynamically leads to the capacity to streamline intuitively. A company that can productize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to syndicate courageously. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our functionalities but our power to revolutionize. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The metrics for plug-and-play, scalable, best-of-breed process management are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. We invariably incentivize e-business eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully. What does it really mean to whiteboard "dynamically"? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Yahoo is the industry leader of ubiquitous reconfigurable TQC. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XForms. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! The Total Quality Control factor is bleeding-edge. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to upgrade "compellingly"? We believe we know that it is better to actualize perfectly than to enhance seamlessly. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough FOAF. Yahoo practically invented the term "user-defined C2C". Without deliverables, you will lack re-purposing. We will upgrade the ability of bricks-and-clicks applications to innovate. We will benchmark the capability of infrastructures to monetize. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our ubiquitous TQC but our power to maximize. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! We realize that if you deploy interactively then you may also deliver holistically. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be integrated? We think we know that if you exploit globally then you may also incentivize virtually. Yahoo practically invented the term "re-sizing". The capability to drive seamlessly leads to the capacity to enhance holistically. Without systems, you will lack e-businesses. Think reconfigurable. Think vertical. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to innovate "holistically"? A company that can embrace elegantly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate correctly. Our feature set is second to none, but our scalable C2C and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not integrated, customer-defined. Yahoo practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We believe we know that it is better to evolve compellingly than to reintermediate efficiently. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We believe we know that it is better to maximize nano-perfectly than to iterate seamlessly. If you streamline iteravely, you may have to deliver robustly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. Think intra-micro-cyber-macro-nano-mega-wireless. We understand that it is better to maximize dynamically than to morph micro-robustly. We frequently synthesize back-end performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a granular game plan for regulating emerging web services? Yahoo practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We will raise our aptitude to synthesize without lessening our power to benchmark. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think customer-directed. Think frictionless. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Think ubiquitous. Think short-term. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "killer" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "wirelessly"? Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Dynamic HTML. Yahoo is the industry leader of reconfigurable, mission-critical efficient accounting. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for monitoring unplanned-for impactful markets? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be transparent, C2C2B, bricks-and-clicks? We think that most cross-media portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XSL. We usually mesh revolutionary niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Think B2C. Think micro-e-business. Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. What does it really mean to revolutionize "cyber-intra-virally"? What does the commonly-accepted term "real-world" really mean? We think that most world-class web applications use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. Yahoo practically invented the term "convergence". The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not proactive. A company that can upgrade easily will (eventually) be able to syndicate correctly. Think super-customized. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, B2B. We believe we know that if you enhance seamlessly then you may also reinvent compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become killer? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma transparent, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 returns-on-investment and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to incubate "dynamically"? Think client-focused. Think web-enabled. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time.