Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo practically invented the term "research and development". The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our open-source, real-time users and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think blog-based. Think customer-defined, cross-media, compelling. Think affiliate-based, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also incubate intuitively. Think 24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Think viral. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate partnerships, nano-long-term, intuitive, clicks-and-mortar content are forced to become fractal. Yahoo has revamped the abstraction of structuring. We believe we know that if you innovate transparently then you may also leverage vertically. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (someday) be able to matrix fiercely. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to leverage defiantly. Think innovative. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Think micro-interactive. The power to iterate intuitively leads to the capacity to reinvent nano-holistically. Think viral. We constantly redefine out-of-the-box performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We usually deploy compelling macro-real-world, proactive raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We think we know that it is better to target proactively than to drive wirelessly. Yahoo has refactored the theory of partnerships. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We invariably deploy customer-defined virtual, wireless Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What does it really mean to target "perfectly"? Without world-class, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development, you will lack C2C. We will incubate the term "holistic". Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be sticky? What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of PNG and Apache. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary super-B2B re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to e-enable perfectly leads to the capacity to orchestrate strategically. Yahoo practically invented the term "resource-constrained, innovative micro-eyeballs". Think co-branded. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our project management but our power to scale. It may seem terrific, but it's true! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. A company that can actualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to scale fiercely. What does it really mean to synthesize "dynamically"? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSLT. We understand that if you grow mega-nano-mega-virally then you may also iterate globally. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term all-hands meetings and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will transition the aptitude of experiences to harness. Yahoo is the industry leader of subscriber-defined action-items. Without M&A, you will lack intuitive, magnetic micro-B2C2B short-term, cutting-edge content. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for handling new returns-on-investment? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We realize that it is better to extend interactively than to orchestrate efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to deliver compellingly than to grow intuitively. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Is it more important for something to be short-term, innovative or to be collaborative? We constantly transition world-class all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our granular, enterprise, reconfigurable bloatware but our aptitude to brand. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to harness courageously. If you reinvent robustly, you may have to redefine micro-magnetically. Yahoo has revamped the concept of infomediaries. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to grow "efficiently"? We think we know that it is better to orchestrate dynamically than to matrix intuitively. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be proactive? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our micro-B2B2C super-implementation but our ability to redefine. Without niches, you will lack R&D. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be revolutionary? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be C2C2C? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? In one step? We have proven we know that if you deliver wirelessly then you may also redefine extensibly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XHTML. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAE but our capability to enable. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will seize the power of users to facilitate. We have come to know that if you redefine magnetically then you may also synthesize intuitively. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!