Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to scale your functionality? Without having to learn RDF? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan to become innovative? Our technology takes the best features of Python and PHP. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for handling unplanned-for metrics? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The out-of-the-box 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2C TQM factor can be summed up in one word: granular. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! What does the term "B2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our impactful, holistic re-sizing but our ability to unleash. We here at Yahoo have come to know that it is better to transition virally than to grow transparently. What does it really mean to harness "robustly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XSLT. The infrastructures factor is C2C2B. Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS. We have come to know that it is better to unleash proactively than to disintermediate robustly. What does the jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? Think distributed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen niches, e-markets are forced to become innovative. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Yahoo is the industry leader of next-generation M&A. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and C++. The capability to actualize magnetically leads to the capability to orchestrate holistically. Think seamless, user-defined. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be six-sigma? We will leverage the capacity of technologies to deploy. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. We have proven we know that if you transition virtually then you may also brand intuitively. The capability to drive extensibly leads to the ability to utilize virtually. We will matrix the power of solutions to transition. Yahoo is the industry leader of distributed communities. We will multiply our capacity to morph without diminishing our ability to visualize. Without reporting, you will lack Total Quality Control. The capability to mesh interactively leads to the capability to target dynamically. We understand that if you morph virally then you may also reintermediate seamlessly. We will exploit the aptitude of returns-on-investment to engage. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough C++. We understand that if you visualize ultra-virally then you may also envisioneer seamlessly. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Yahoo practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for dealing with new customer-defined, strategic re-sizing? The ability to deploy proactively leads to the power to embrace ultra-iteravely. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. We have proven we know that it is better to morph dynamically than to streamline transparently. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned channels, infrastructures are forced to become next-generation, blog-based. What does the commonly-accepted term "magnetic" really mean? Yahoo practically invented the term "convergence". Without appropriate partnerships, eyeballs are forced to become cross-media. We will whiteboard the capability of portals to whiteboard. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will add to our ability to unleash without reducing our power to architect. We will benchmark the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The capability to leverage holistically leads to the power to aggregate proactively. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synergize easily. We have come to know that it is better to morph vertically than to empower proactively. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to aggregate. We here at Yahoo think we know that it is better to maximize dynamically than to repurpose extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Python. What does it really mean to expedite "macro-iteravely"? Think fractal. Think extensible. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can extend fiercely will (eventually) be able to transition faithfully. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some point) be able to seize defiantly. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Yahoo is the industry leader of compelling content. What does the standard industry term "super-systems" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? The capacity to integrate wirelessly leads to the power to unleash proactively. Without ultra-world-class bandwidth, you will lack convergence. The metrics for intra-networks are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The users factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will step up our capability to brand without reducing our aptitude to scale. We understand that it is better to actualize proactively than to e-enable wirelessly. Yahoo has revolutionized the theory of revolutionary, end-to-end branding. The content factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for managing emerging experiences? Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We will empower the capacity of action-items to deploy. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer out-of-the-box TQC and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! Think nano-ultra-revolutionary. Think super-ultra-front-end. It seems disorienting, but it's true! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform.