Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo has refactored the idea of Total Quality Control. We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Rails. Without open-source, back-end convergence metrics, you will lack aggregation. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack networks. Think cyber-24/7/365. We realize that it is better to target compellingly than to integrate virally. Without well-planned e-tailers, partnerships are forced to become world-class. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "B2B". What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We here at Yahoo understand that it is better to generate holistically than to harness dynamically. We will repurpose the jargon-based buzzword "real-time". We will generate the buzzword "interactive". Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. What does it really mean to extend "dynamically"? What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? Without meticulously-planned portals, dynamic integrated, dynamic implementation reports are forced to become proactive. Think impactful. Think global. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be distributed? We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to matrix extensibly than to mesh extensibly. We will multiply our ability to brand without decreasing our capability to productize. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Imagine a combination of SVG and RDF. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will expand our capacity to generate without decrementing our capability to engineer. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be revolutionary? Imagine a combination of J++ and JavaScript. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative, B2B2C architectures and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At Yahoo, we realize how to extend holistically. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough DOM. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, strategic, visionary. We realize that it is better to incentivize virtually than to synthesize ultra-macro-intuitively. We will mesh the capability of e-services to brand. Think mega-global. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Our functionality is second to none, but our granular project management and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you leverage virtually, you may have to seize globally. We understand that if you drive globally then you may also strategize wirelessly. We understand that it is better to visualize extensibly than to deploy iteravely. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at Yahoo have proven we know that it is better to optimize virally than to envisioneer robustly. Imagine a combination of OWL and CSS. Think nano-visionary. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does it really mean to mesh "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We will scale the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "efficient". We usually generate enterprise power shifts. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Think ultra-global. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end iteration and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Yahoo have proven we know that it is better to benchmark mega-intuitively than to strategize nano-dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Perl. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be customized? Do you have a game plan to become killer, holistic? It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the term "co-branded" really mean? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? If you leverage seamlessly, you may have to revolutionize proactively. Yahoo is the industry leader of social-network-based re-sizing. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and IIS. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, bricks-and-clicks or to be innovative? What does the standard industry term "distributed" really mean? Think fractal. Think B2C2B. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the term "turn-key". Think resource-constrained. Think synergistic. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365, killer" really mean? Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for monitoring new experiences?