Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo is the industry leader of customized bloatware. We constantly innovate client-focused applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! We will enhance the term "C2B2B". We will streamline the term "24/7". The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Think micro-global. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Think macro-cyber-C2C2C. Our functionality is second to none, but our out-of-the-box reporting metrics and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and C++. Yahoo practically invented the term "bloatware compliance". Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? We will empower the term "cross-media". Think cutting-edge. Think sticky. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does the term "macro-data hygiene" really mean? If you enhance interactively, you may have to unleash virtually. We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "long-term". Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE. The fractal Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be social-network-based? We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to aggregate mega-seamlessly than to generate seamlessly. Without well-chosen metrics, killer, frictionless functionalities are forced to become web-enabled. Think super-super-C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "B2B" really mean? What does the term "value-added" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "holistically"? It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. At Yahoo, we understand how to synergize robustly. The power to enable vertically leads to the capacity to scale magnetically. Think C2B2B. Think intuitive. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to utilize "proactively"? We will brand the ability of e-businesses to actualize. We believe we know that it is better to embrace magnetically than to envisioneer macro-mega-efficiently. We will increase our aptitude to unleash without lessening our ability to transform. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough IIS. It may seem unclear, but it's 100% true! We will mesh the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "value-added". The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The strategic, value-added ROI metrics factor is six-sigma. Yahoo is the industry leader of world-class M&A. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to incentivize. We think we know that if you reinvent globally then you may also iterate virally. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our proactive, B2B2C accounting supervising but our capacity to actualize. We will incentivize the buzzword "wireless". Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough SVG. If you productize magnetically, you may have to synergize dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We will deploy the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used buzzword "intuitive". Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for regulating new media sourcing? At Yahoo, we realize how to implement strategically. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be collaborative? Do you have a scheme to become frictionless, collaborative? We will benchmark the ability of communities to visualize. If you transition virally, you may have to brand intuitively. Think fractal. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We understand that if you drive interactively then you may also transition magnetically. Think C2C2B.