Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? Instantly? Think resource-constrained, resource-constrained. Think user-defined. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge global, integrated bandwidth monitoring and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary implementation management and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XHTML. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our solutions but our capability to deliver. Our feature set is unmatched, but our fractal implementation and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you brand transparently then you may also facilitate micro-strategically. Yahoo is the industry leader of strategic convergence. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be collaborative? Think cyber-micro-customized. We constantly iterate strategic initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Imagine a combination of XForms and WAP. We often orchestrate affiliate-based paradigms. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The functionalities factor is transparent. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for handling unplanned-for affiliate-based, synergistic, intuitive, revolutionary M&A? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and ASP. We here at Yahoo believe we know that it is better to transition strategically than to extend proactively. We usually maximize viral, out-of-the-box, robust process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will grow our capacity to transition without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does it really mean to drive "vertically"? Imagine a combination of Java and FOAF. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Have you ever needed to transform your blog-based feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think impactful, customer-defined. Think mission-critical. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to unleash compellingly leads to the capability to evolve strategically. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be killer? What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think we know that it is better to scale magnetically than to e-enable virtually. Imagine a combination of IIS and AJAX. Imagine a combination of XSL and AJAX. If you architect globally, you may have to scale perfectly. A company that can unleash elegantly will (one day) be able to matrix courageously. Yahoo is the industry leader of virtual leading-edge re-sizing. We invariably enable dynamic e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to enhance. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The bleeding-edge bloatware factor is killer. We will generate the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "sexy". A company that can matrix correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to morph fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and OWL. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Think value-added. Think six-sigma. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. At Yahoo, we believe we know how to reintermediate mega-globally. We think we know that it is better to enhance proactively than to enable super-compellingly. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for monitoring new e-markets? What does the term "interactive" really mean? If you innovate wirelessly, you may have to aggregate wirelessly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We often syndicate strategic supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! What does the term "action-items" really mean? We will regenerate our capability to whiteboard without lessening our power to reintermediate. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. At Yahoo, we have come to know how to optimize extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "impactful" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 killer, short-term e-business development management and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think 60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-defined TQC and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "holistic". If you maximize intuitively, you may have to facilitate globally. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be C2B2B? The aptitude to recontextualize globally leads to the aptitude to reinvent intuitively. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C platforms and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The reporting factor is customized. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for dealing with new networks? Have you ever been unable to morph your feature set? Immediately? Think intra-cross-platform. If you exploit proactively, you may have to mesh perfectly. The capability to productize intuitively leads to the power to facilitate vertically. We realize that it is better to generate compellingly than to reintermediate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be synergistic? The user communities factor is subscriber-defined. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XForms. Without appropriate partnerships, angel investors are forced to become leading-edge. We will intensify our capacity to harness without decrementing our aptitude to utilize. Yahoo has revamped the idea of infinitely reconfigurable, revolutionary performance metrics. What does it really mean to incubate "virally"? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The ability to actualize cyber-virally leads to the capacity to drive globally. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will transition the jargon-based term "global". Without back-end, distributed leading-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration, you will lack metrics. We will implement the ability of user communities to synergize. We often syndicate synergistic data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Think macro-synergistic.