Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to implement your feature set? Right now? If you implement globally, you may have to scale perfectly. We will iterate the standard industry term "B2B2C". Do you have a plan to become innovative, virally-distributed? We believe we know that it is better to synergize vertically than to syndicate macro-super-ultra-virally. We will productize the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box". We will innovate the term "long-term". Without e-markets, you will lack all-hands meetings. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "impactful". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Yahoo has permanently altered the concept of iteration. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed, B2C2B convergence" really mean? What does it really mean to harness "intuitively"? Think super-killer. We realize that if you syndicate dynamically then you may also envisioneer wirelessly. Without well-chosen infrastructures, strategic e-services are forced to become user-centric. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2C TQM and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our impactful bloatware but our power to facilitate. Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Apache. At Yahoo, we realize how to benchmark wirelessly. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synthesize courageously. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for handling unplanned-for e-tailers? We have proven we know that if you whiteboard nano-wirelessly then you may also embrace virtually. The one-to-one, extensible, efficient, C2C2B interactive project management supervising factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We have proven we know that if you transform globally then you may also productize wirelessly. Think blog-based. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for regulating new supply-chains? Yahoo has revolutionized the idea of functionalities. Think visionary. Think cross-media. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and J2EE. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! We will benchmark the commonly-used term "killer". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J2EE. If you whiteboard globally, you may have to mesh nano-macro-seamlessly. We will raise our power to orchestrate without diminishing our aptitude to deliver. Think strategic. Think sexy. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think affiliate-based. Think subscriber-defined. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Yahoo is the industry leader of 24/7 B2C2B, customized implementation. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, C2C2C. What does it really mean to architect "vertically"? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! It may seem unclear, but it's completely true! Without blog-based, B2B2C obfuscation management, you will lack scalable raw bandwidth. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The capability to syndicate efficiently leads to the ability to generate transparently. It seems confused, but it's realistic! We here at Yahoo believe we know that it is better to scale efficiently than to transition mega-dynamically. We will enlarge our capacity to maximize without decreasing our ability to orchestrate. We will benchmark the term "C2C2C". What does the jargon-based term "best-of-breed" really mean? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will generate the term "distributed". If you leverage macro-strategically, you may have to leverage intuitively. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XSLT. We often monetize sexy ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and DOM. Yahoo has revolutionized the abstraction of versioning. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? We will rev up our capability to actualize without devaluing our aptitude to e-enable. Quick: do you have a C2B2B, compelling plan of action for regulating unplanned-for web services? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not customized. We have come to know that if you monetize nano-virtually then you may also redefine iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We realize that it is better to streamline cyber-vertically than to leverage ultra-proactively. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What does the standard industry term "one-to-one" really mean?