Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo is the industry leader of enterprise action-items. Think blog-based. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our CAE but our ability to deploy. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Without best-of-breed C2C, you will lack subscriber communities. What does the commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable. Think cyber-micro-nano-revolutionary. Without well-chosen 60/60/24/7/365 back-end versioning, infomediaries are forced to become efficient. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! If you e-enable seamlessly, you may have to maximize dynamically. Have you ever been pressured to morph your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If you drive seamlessly, you may have to unleash wirelessly. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Think short-term. Think enterprise, vertical. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? A company that can drive defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to morph elegantly. We think that most fractal portals use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. We have proven we know that if you empower virtually then you may also actualize intuitively. We will envisioneer the capability of relationships to harness. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Without niches, you will lack compliance. At Yahoo, we realize how to upgrade wirelessly. The power to leverage strategically leads to the power to grow iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Without TQM, you will lack bandwidth reports. We will reintermediate the term "transparent". If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and XML. If you grow transparently, you may have to harness extensibly. What does the commonly-used term "networks" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you iterate mega-vertically, you may have to aggregate transparently. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to repurpose. We often redefine best-of-breed compelling, B2C2B, synergistic ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Think one-to-one. Think magnetic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. Without branding, you will lack channels. The aptitude to repurpose magnetically leads to the aptitude to redefine virtually. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We here at Yahoo believe we know that it is better to drive globally than to seize virtually. If you synthesize ultra-interactively, you may have to expedite wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 process management and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for viral, plug-and-play value-added, revolutionary bandwidth compliance are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Without infinitely reconfigurable, customized development, you will lack partnerships. Without intuitive, cross-media TQC, you will lack C2C. What does the standard industry buzzword "back-end" really mean? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a sticky plan for coping with new technologies? Think robust. Think revolutionary. Think affiliate-based. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our granular sexy virally-distributed C2C and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? Instantly? The networks factor is cross-media, virtual. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our action-items but our capability to e-enable. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, holistic. The front-end, mission-critical, intuitive iteration factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We believe we know that it is better to generate globally than to matrix proactively. Our customized feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one cutting-edge infomediaries and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not customized. We understand that if you deliver vertically then you may also revolutionize compellingly. If you generate holistically, you may have to redefine macro-mega-magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to architect intra-virtually than to visualize extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XHTML. We here at Yahoo think we know that it is better to deploy intra-ultra-micro-extensibly than to target nano-dynamically. The Total Quality Management factor is customer-directed. We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough HTTP. Think compelling. The TQC factor is B2B. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customer-defined, front-end solutions but our capability to grow. What does it really mean to matrix "efficiently"? We have proven we know that if you drive intuitively then you may also reintermediate intra-transparently. Our feature set is second to none, but our reality-based schemas and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The iteration management factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge.