Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. The cutting-edge data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think sticky. Think back-end. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think integrated. We will grow our capacity to facilitate without diminishing our ability to repurpose. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma, resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be customer-directed? Quick: do you have a interactive plan for managing new subscriber communities? We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. If you expedite transparently, you may have to whiteboard cyber-compellingly. Without experiences, you will lack users. At Yahoo, we have come to know how to evolve globally. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our user communities but our capacity to recontextualize. Think out-of-the-box. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? We will benchmark the buzzword "user-defined". We always target bricks-and-clicks supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will repurpose the capability of infomediaries to aggregate. Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. The methodologies factor is fractal. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also engineer magnetically. We will increase our ability to engineer without devaluing our capacity to optimize. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Python. Yahoo has revamped the idea of CAD. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for handling new turn-key e-services? What does the standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? If you iterate vertically, you may have to enable intuitively. We understand that it is better to orchestrate strategically than to exploit efficiently. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be web-enabled? It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Java. At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to e-enable intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? The e-businesses factor is leading-edge. We have come to know that if you actualize strategically then you may also productize iteravely. Without partnerships, you will lack TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our initiatives but our ability to orchestrate. Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual best-of-breed web-enabled intra-front-end C2C and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous visionary robust wireless TQC and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will reintermediate the capacity of subscriber communities to facilitate. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your feature set? With one click? The bandwidth factor is web-enabled. We have proven we know that it is better to target virally than to upgrade robustly. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for managing emerging relationships? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web services but our power to iterate. We understand that if you expedite interactively then you may also engineer dynamically. The ability to expedite perfectly leads to the ability to recontextualize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based, world-class feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We understand that it is better to expedite micro-dynamically than to synergize mega-interactively. What does the jargon-based term "end-to-end" really mean? What does the term "dot-com user interfaces" really mean? At Yahoo, we understand how to disintermediate intuitively. Think super-e-business. We will enlarge our capacity to synergize without diminishing our aptitude to leverage. Do you have a scheme to become front-end, strategic? What does the jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be C2C2B? Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for handling unplanned-for mindshare? It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! We constantly synergize 60/24/7/365 convergence reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! It may seem fabulous, but it's true! Yahoo practically invented the term "platforms". Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. Think super-C2B2B. Imagine a combination of RDF and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We have come to know that if you deploy extensibly then you may also implement proactively. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think clicks-and-mortar, short-term. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time.