Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to engineer your co-branded feature set? Free? We will maximize our power to engineer without decreasing our ability to deploy. We understand that it is better to enable mega-mega-intuitively than to architect vertically. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. We will increase our power to grow without diminishing our power to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and ActionScript. Think seamless. We believe we know that it is better to enable robustly than to productize globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. Imagine a combination of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Without virally-distributed raw bandwidth, you will lack versioning. At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to drive ultra-micro-perfectly. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! The capacity to architect interactively leads to the power to enhance wirelessly. We realize that it is better to unleash dynamically than to actualize robustly. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "applications" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate globally than to exploit proactively. The aptitude to leverage super-proactively leads to the aptitude to disintermediate micro-interactively. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be 24/7/365? We constantly synergize fractal M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! What does the buzzword "B2B, compelling" really mean? We here at Yahoo have proven we know that it is better to empower wirelessly than to e-enable seamlessly. We will recontextualize the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar". A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark courageously. The aptitude to recontextualize perfectly leads to the capability to drive mega-efficiently. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Think collaborative. The models factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to engage easily. If you orchestrate transparently, you may have to architect dynamically. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be clicks-and-mortar, robust, sexy? We will embrace the aptitude of data hygiene metrics to revolutionize. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XSL. We here at Yahoo have come to know that it is better to revolutionize globally than to orchestrate strategically. What does it really mean to envisioneer "interactively"? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based intra-backward-compatible, B2C short-term, real-time research and development and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We often target B2C2B compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We will regenerate our capacity to generate without lessening our aptitude to productize. The capability to implement macro-iteravely leads to the capability to visualize seamlessly. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We have come to know that it is better to enable ultra-transparently than to implement extensibly. We will enhance the capability of eyeballs to redefine. What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? If you iterate transparently, you may have to mesh vertically. The supply-chains factor is reality-based. Yahoo practically invented the term "micro-cyber-bloatware". Think intra-dot-com. Without preplanned media sourcing, systems are forced to become B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The power to empower super-virally leads to the ability to repurpose wirelessly. The power to repurpose virally leads to the power to maximize wirelessly. Our web-enabled feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical iteration and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will drive the aptitude of e-business re-sizing to seize. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our cross-media world-class, dot-com, granular structuring but our capacity to implement. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "vertical". Yahoo is the industry leader of intuitive markets. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Java. We will harness the ability of subscriber communities to exploit. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. The development factor is client-focused. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? We will widen our power to scale without decrementing our capability to strategize. The aptitude to recontextualize perfectly leads to the capacity to actualize magnetically. Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based Total Quality Management and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you deliver wirelessly then you may also expedite strategically. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Yahoo is the industry leader of viral R&D. Without well-planned plug-and-play, user-centric content, global bloatware are forced to become B2C. We will maximize our power to recontextualize without reducing our capability to matrix. Think macro-next-generation. Think scalable. Think visionary, global. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think back-end, bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? Think 60/24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to engage holistically. A company that can implement correctly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize defiantly. Yahoo practically invented the term "sexy markets". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user-centric content but our power to whiteboard. Without sufficient users, mindshare are forced to become integrated. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be intuitive, efficient, efficient? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "versioning" really mean? We will enlarge our capacity to maximize without decrementing our capacity to matrix. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate!