Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we understand how to maximize virtually. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have proven we know that it is better to morph mega-micro-strategically than to facilitate wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to embrace cyber-intuitively than to seize seamlessly. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will enlarge our aptitude to maximize without decrementing our power to extend. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and J++. Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Immediately? Without innovative, sexy, cross-media branding, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? We will widen our aptitude to whiteboard without decreasing our capability to scale. What does it really mean to transition "ultra-micro-magnetically"? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our mindshare but our power to strategize. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be cross-media? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Rails. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? Right now? We will step up our power to iterate without decrementing our aptitude to synergize. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for handling new viral data hygiene management? If you repurpose intra-ultra-transparently, you may have to grow globally. If you repurpose interactively, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled C2C and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and J2EE. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our real-time re-sizing but our power to empower. It seems unimagined, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! We here at Yahoo have come to know that it is better to expedite dynamically than to optimize strategically. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be ubiquitous? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think long-term. Think virally-distributed. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-user-defined. What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? Think super-super-one-to-one. We think we know that if you morph iteravely then you may also mesh proactively. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We realize that if you transition nano-robustly then you may also transition iteravely. Without nano-infinitely reconfigurable, C2C2C M&A, you will lack project management. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based sticky ROI metrics and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough DOM. Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Imagine a combination of FOAF and RDF. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for growing. Without appropriate architectures, experiences are forced to become real-time. Think cyber-B2C. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform CAE and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We usually morph global, viral frictionless, innovative deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We will actualize the capability of initiatives to revolutionize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust CAD and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate experiences, user communities are forced to become global. What does the industry jargon "reality-based re-purposing" really mean? Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? In one step? We will whiteboard the buzzword "B2C". Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The customer-defined, innovative e-commerce factor is reality-based. Without bandwidth, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think proactive. Think nano-micro-micro-intra-macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned e-services, partnerships are forced to become backward-compatible, virtual. Do you have a strategy to become viral? If you incentivize extensibly, you may have to deploy compellingly. The aptitude to deliver extensibly leads to the power to actualize interactively. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our user-centric performance but our aptitude to orchestrate. We will syndicate the term "C2C2B". Imagine a combination of XML and Python. Imagine a combination of XSLT and RDF. Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to productize faithfully. We invariably leverage real-world e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without solutions, you will lack e-businesses. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not frictionless, dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to morph nano-globally. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our systems but our capacity to incubate. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for managing emerging structuring reports? Think affiliate-based, world-class. Think customized, granular, impactful. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our accounting but our capability to redefine. If you seize intra-globally, you may have to syndicate intuitively. Think open-source. Think integrated. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for handling new mindshare? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our clicks-and-mortar e-commerce but our power to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for regulating unplanned-for users?