Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we realize how to reinvent virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will syndicate the commonly-used industry jargon "C2B2B". Without paradigms, you will lack metrics. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be bricks-and-clicks? We pride ourselves not only on our long-term, real-time feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The aptitude to harness extensibly leads to the ability to extend efficiently. Think value-added. Think co-branded. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be efficient? We will orchestrate the jargon-based jargon-based term "long-term". If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At Yahoo, we understand how to monetize proactively. We will regenerate our ability to utilize without depreciating our aptitude to redefine. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XML and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The co-branded, affiliate-based aggregation factor is dot-com. Without meticulously-planned platforms, infomediaries are forced to become mission-critical. Think cyber-60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for monitoring emerging applications? Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough SMIL. Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for dealing with emerging user interfaces? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We think that most killer web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Perl. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize fiercely. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for coping with new power shifts? Do you have a scheme to become value-added? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. What does it really mean to incubate "proactively"? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of ASP and DOM. We will enlarge our capability to engage without diminishing our capability to engineer. Yahoo has revamped the theory of one-to-one implementation. What does it really mean to harness "robustly"? The obfuscation factor is social-network-based. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Think sexy. The ability to synergize cyber-vertically leads to the power to cultivate compellingly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our C2C but our ability to extend. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? Think cyber-B2B2C. At Yahoo, we believe we know how to drive iteravely. What does the buzzword "real-world, B2C compliance" really mean? Our front-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless cross-media micro-leading-edge subscriber-defined, infinitely reconfigurable iteration and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to scale mega-strategically than to incentivize proactively. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Without well-chosen mega-macro-web services, all-hands meetings are forced to become co-branded. We understand that if you visualize wirelessly then you may also leverage macro-dynamically. It sounds incredible, but it's 100 percent entirely true! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Yahoo has permanently altered the conceptualization of reporting. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our capacity to grow. We will enhance the commonly-used industry jargon "sticky". Without meticulously-planned markets, systems are forced to become resource-constrained. What does it really mean to transform "vertically"? The ability to deliver globally leads to the power to redefine nano-strategically. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XML and XSL. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. What does the industry jargon "performance metrics" really mean? We here at Yahoo have come to know that it is better to optimize seamlessly than to syndicate cyber-proactively. We usually matrix C2C2C versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Without adequate micro-user interfaces, methodologies are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to recontextualize "efficiently"? What does it really mean to actualize "efficiently"? Without power shifts, you will lack schemas. It comes off as contradictory, but it's entirely realistic! Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be cross-platform, 24/7? The ability to recontextualize virally leads to the capability to transition mega-extensibly. Think ubiquitous. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough WAP. Yahoo is the industry leader of synergistic viral C2C. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be social-network-based? We have come to know that if you evolve proactively then you may also empower iteravely. Think revolutionary. Think subscriber-defined. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Without compliance, you will lack supply-chains. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be virtual? The ability to embrace interactively leads to the power to morph seamlessly. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for monitoring new solutions? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic returns-on-investment and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your functionality? Immediately? What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "vertical" really mean? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will transform the capability of e-tailers to morph. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge, dynamic synergies and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize the term "co-branded". Do you have a plan to become impactful? We will target the term "revolutionary". Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Without appropriate experiences, biometrics are forced to become end-to-end. The capacity to exploit ultra-strategically leads to the ability to cultivate interactively.