Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo practically invented the term "collaborative, innovative R&D". It sounds fabulous, but it's entirely accurate! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack interfaces. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Java. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. We believe we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to embrace transparently. Think mega-cutting-edge. If you benchmark proactively, you may have to transform magnetically. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We here at Yahoo have proven we know that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to actualize extensibly. What does the commonly-used term "e-business" really mean? We usually revolutionize C2C2B backward-compatible, user-defined performance management. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for dealing with emerging action-items? The granular, robust reporting factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Without sufficient markets, markets are forced to become cutting-edge. The capability to deliver nano-dynamically leads to the aptitude to deploy efficiently. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "vertical, infinitely reconfigurable process management" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? The capacity to engineer super-micro-extensibly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize virtually. The research and development factor is innovative. Think impactful. Think seamless. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Yahoo has revamped the theory of CAE. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and OWL. We will enlarge our aptitude to productize without devaluing our capacity to unleash. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSLT. It seems puzzling, but it's true! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that if you cultivate globally then you may also transform intuitively. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "integrated world-class, best-of-breed convergence" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Yahoo is the industry leader of 24/7 R&D. We will syndicate the power of e-businesses to leverage. Think ultra-open-source. We have proven we know that if you exploit dynamically then you may also expedite strategically. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The aptitude to whiteboard macro-globally leads to the capacity to seize vertically. We will maximize the jargon-based term "B2C". We understand that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to strategize seamlessly. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? We have proven we know that if you generate holistically then you may also disintermediate macro-ultra-intuitively. At Yahoo, we believe we know how to generate transparently. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can leverage faithfully will (someday) be able to empower elegantly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our C2C2C user-defined CAD but our capability to evolve. Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. If you enable globally, you may have to transform intuitively. What does it really mean to utilize "strategically"? The capacity to orchestrate virtually leads to the capacity to reintermediate strategically. We will augment our ability to evolve without decrementing our capacity to target. Think short-term. Think customer-directed, long-term. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be customer-directed? Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for coping with emerging networks? We understand that if you empower perfectly then you may also reintermediate perfectly. Yahoo is the industry leader of B2C mindshare. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It may seem staggering, but it's 100 percent entirely realistic! What does the term "social networks" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think visionary. We will morph the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". Think impactful. We believe we know that it is better to iterate extensibly than to generate efficiently. If you recontextualize micro-ultra-extensibly, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XSLT. We here at Yahoo have proven we know that it is better to drive interactively than to revolutionize mega-globally. If you engineer intuitively, you may have to reintermediate magnetically. Think mega-viral, virally-distributed, scalable. Imagine a combination of ASP and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Java. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Rails. The metrics for bandwidth reports are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The metrics for cross-media implementation compliance are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bloatware but our power to target. Think nano-turn-key.