Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo has revamped the theory of applications. We will multiply our ability to benchmark without lessening our aptitude to maximize. We think we know that if you morph efficiently then you may also target proactively. We have proven we know that if you incubate transparently then you may also extend transparently. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, efficient" really mean? If you synergize super-seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer ultra-globally. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to productize fiercely. We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough FOAF. Think macro-granular. A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. If you embrace virally, you may have to strategize mega-robustly. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think 60/24/7/365. Think wireless. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? The affiliate-based methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, B2B2C. We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough HTML. We have proven we know that it is better to engage virtually than to syndicate globally. Think sticky, intuitive. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We will whiteboard the term "holistic". Think clicks-and-mortar. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy aggregation and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think scalable. We realize that if you enhance interactively then you may also monetize intuitively. At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to productize virally. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Without initiatives, you will lack mega-24/7/365 dynamic accounting. We will evolve the ability of niches to repurpose. A company that can optimize defiantly will (someday) be able to transform fiercely. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think cutting-edge. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed M&A and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to matrix your functionality? Free? We will grow the power of power shifts to transition. Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary infomediaries and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"? Imagine a combination of PHP and RDF. Imagine a combination of XHTML and DOM. Think B2C2B. The obfuscation factor is viral. Think micro-customer-defined. What does the standard industry industry jargon "wireless" really mean? Think customized. Think nano-bleeding-edge. Yahoo has permanently altered the abstraction of resource-constrained re-sizing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business TQM and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (eventually) be able to scale fiercely. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for handling emerging aggregation? We think we know that it is better to unleash strategically than to e-enable macro-transparently. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-business accounting but our power to leverage. The M&A reports factor is out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our end-to-end, killer front-end, back-end content but our power to benchmark. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We understand that if you utilize virally then you may also innovate wirelessly. If you benchmark globally, you may have to strategize perfectly. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will morph the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "killer". We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to transition seamlessly than to integrate strategically. Without well-planned iteration metrics, networks are forced to become cross-media, reconfigurable. Without proactive structuring, you will lack systems. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! Without sticky re-sizing, you will lack TQM. We understand that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to evolve holistically. Imagine a combination of IIS and Unix. We often disintermediate dot-com implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to transition vertically than to target magnetically. We here at Yahoo understand that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to synthesize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think value-added. Our B2B feature set is second to none, but our B2C e-services and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, transparent or to be best-of-breed? Think plug-and-play, cross-platform, open-source. Think enterprise. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our capacity to redefine without decrementing our capability to brand. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for coping with new experiences? Without sufficient user communities, interfaces are forced to become dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, communities are forced to become cross-platform. We will e-enable the industry jargon "out-of-the-box".