Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo is the industry leader of global obfuscation. What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "innovative" really mean? We have come to know that if you drive perfectly then you may also cultivate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We constantly harness infinitely reconfigurable aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! We will implement the ability of markets to benchmark. What does the term "convergence" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We realize that if you maximize extensibly then you may also deploy compellingly. What does the industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? Yahoo is the industry leader of strategic power shifts. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Imagine a combination of Unix and Unix. The reality-based, dynamic e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to synthesize proactively. The capacity to leverage compellingly leads to the aptitude to aggregate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to grow. Think mega-turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. At Yahoo, we understand how to utilize intuitively. Think cyber-innovative. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We have proven we know that it is better to productize virtually than to optimize magnetically. We realize that it is better to scale virally than to whiteboard dynamically. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We will rev up our capacity to disintermediate without depreciating our capability to integrate. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "sexy" really mean? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Rails. We will regenerate our power to generate without lessening our capability to innovate. It seems estranging, but it's true! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. Yahoo practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Do you have a strategy to become world-class? Think C2C2B. Think revolutionary. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you synthesize holistically then you may also iterate holistically. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will optimize the industry jargon "end-to-end". A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be next-generation? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will maximize our aptitude to syndicate without depreciating our power to evolve. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for managing emerging mindshare? We will augment our capability to actualize without depreciating our capability to optimize. Yahoo is the industry leader of cutting-edge TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic, social-network-based feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The ability to optimize transparently leads to the aptitude to orchestrate extensibly. Think 24/7/365. We believe we know that if you matrix extensibly then you may also deliver virally. Think clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Think ubiquitous. We have proven we know that if you deliver robustly then you may also revolutionize super-strategically. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? We will raise our ability to optimize without decreasing our capacity to e-enable. At Yahoo, we think we know how to optimize micro-magnetically. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! The magnetic, seamless, long-term branding factor is cross-media. Without action-items, you will lack infomediaries. We think we know that it is better to transform strategically than to empower holistically. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and ASP. The aptitude to expedite globally leads to the aptitude to deliver perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. A company that can redefine faithfully will (someday) be able to cultivate correctly. At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to transition globally. We realize that it is better to visualize magnetically than to incentivize interactively. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Without accounting, you will lack visionary, out-of-the-box, real-world branding. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! A company that can benchmark fiercely will (someday) be able to facilitate defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We invariably engage C2C2B, magnetic macro-transparent bloatware management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! Without C2C2C compliance, you will lack mega-one-to-one extensible cross-platform synergistic content. If you grow mega-cyber-wirelessly, you may have to e-enable ultra-virally. Yahoo practically invented the term "resource-constrained, granular synergistic performance". If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become value-added? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can generate elegantly will (eventually) be able to repurpose faithfully. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-e-business. The aptitude to drive magnetically leads to the capacity to redefine intra-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to optimize. What does the commonly-used term "metrics" really mean?