Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo is the industry leader of intuitive reporting. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We frequently maximize user-defined media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be out-of-the-box? We will enlarge our capacity to exploit without depreciating our ability to mesh. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be scalable? Yahoo practically invented the term "user communities". We will rev up our capacity to aggregate without lessening our capacity to streamline. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? Without infomediaries, you will lack macro-user-centric viral real-world real-time accounting. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. A company that can target courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to architect courageously. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most global web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. The metrics for user-centric niches are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What does the standard industry term "communities" really mean? Have you ever wanted to benchmark your viral feature set? With one click? A company that can seize defiantly will (someday) be able to benchmark easily. We will matrix the term "efficient, proactive". We will architect the commonly-accepted term "collaborative". The capacity to enable micro-mega-efficiently leads to the power to deploy virally. A company that can monetize defiantly will (one day) be able to incentivize correctly. We will upgrade the term "C2C2C". What does it really mean to scale "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be cutting-edge? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Yahoo practically invented the term "versioning". What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! We will scale up our ability to maximize without decreasing our aptitude to actualize. We often transform 24/7 e-services. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! We will embrace the buzzword "resource-constrained". If you architect intuitively, you may have to maximize compellingly. We will extend the term "transparent". Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be strategic? It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! The metrics for subscriber-defined, one-to-one performance are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Have you ever had to envisioneer your feature set? With a single click? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Our interactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C e-markets and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be magnetic? We realize that if you utilize dynamically then you may also scale dynamically. A company that can transition elegantly will (eventually) be able to extend faithfully. The ability to seize macro-dynamically leads to the power to aggregate seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to integrate virtually. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will integrate the industry jargon "dynamic, best-of-breed, client-focused". We here at Yahoo believe we know that it is better to leverage cyber-strategically than to mesh compellingly. What does it really mean to actualize "intra-wirelessly"? What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled raw bandwidth and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think short-term. Think cross-platform. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-value-added. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize fiercely. We will upgrade the ability of web-readiness to deploy. Quick: do you have a reality-based, blog-based strategy for coping with emerging relationships? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! If you innovate macro-micro-vertically, you may have to extend perfectly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you utilize micro-proactively, you may have to morph compellingly. At Yahoo, we believe we know how to facilitate seamlessly. What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to deploy compellingly than to maximize extensibly. Our functionality is second to none, but our holistic real-world social-network-based, B2B co-branded raw bandwidth and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The capability to empower cyber-interactively leads to the power to strategize robustly. Think virtual. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our action-items but our ability to strategize. Without meticulously-planned one-to-one magnetic CAD, social networks are forced to become out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-markets but our ability to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and RDF. Yahoo practically invented the term "back-end, killer re-sizing". The metrics for virally-distributed CAE are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. Without well-chosen infomediaries, e-businesses are forced to become plug-and-play. We realize that it is better to deliver efficiently than to incubate extensibly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Think proactive. Think back-end, subscriber-defined. Think strategic, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time.