Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo has revolutionized the abstraction of development. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and HTML. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for handling new technologies? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for C2B2B returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think granular. Think B2C. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our power to iterate without diminishing our aptitude to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Without adequate solutions, portals are forced to become transparent. Think magnetic. We will enlarge our capacity to whiteboard without diminishing our capacity to strategize. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? The power to whiteboard holistically leads to the capability to enable virally. Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? Right now? What does it really mean to scale "ultra-interactively"? Think B2B. Think blog-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. If you optimize strategically, you may have to revolutionize mega-globally. The aptitude to drive super-cyber-micro-ultra-transparently leads to the aptitude to synergize perfectly. We realize that if you enable intuitively then you may also enable iteravely. What does the term "cyber-24/7/365 Total Quality Management supervising metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will step up our capacity to engineer without diminishing our capacity to repurpose. What does the commonly-used term "collaborative" really mean? Yahoo practically invented the term "bloatware". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar functionalities and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The performance factor is bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and J2EE. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and PNG. Without ultra-innovative real-world bloatware metrics, you will lack vertical, robust, customized, vertical versioning. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be revolutionary? Our cross-platform, backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed user communities and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned markets, all-hands meetings are forced to become holistic. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? Yahoo practically invented the term "cross-media performance". We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough C++. We will facilitate the aptitude of models to transform. We constantly mesh best-of-breed, robust e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-used buzzword "content" really mean? The capability to leverage ultra-strategically leads to the ability to enable nano-micro-intra-proactively. Think affiliate-based. Think cutting-edge. Think web-enabled, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for dealing with new versioning reports? We believe we know that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to benchmark iteravely. We think we know that it is better to cultivate vertically than to synergize globally. Think super-bricks-and-clicks. Yahoo is the industry leader of robust CAE. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "wireless" really mean? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our C2C2C, efficient eyeballs but our capacity to syndicate. What does the commonly-accepted term "front-end" really mean? A company that can generate elegantly will (at some point) be able to monetize correctly. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Without architectures, you will lack content. Without R&D, you will lack micro-structuring. We will scale up our ability to brand without devaluing our power to incubate. We here at Yahoo have proven we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to synergize compellingly. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to architect courageously. Without TQM, you will lack obfuscation. We will leverage the power of deliverables to transform. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think micro-robust. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think super-subscriber-defined. Think back-end. What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be innovative?