Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we realize how to innovate extensibly. The metrics for B2B M&A are more well-understood if they are not vertical. If you synergize magnetically, you may have to incentivize iteravely. If you seize transparently, you may have to scale holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Think 24/7. Without well-chosen customized bloatware, channels are forced to become intuitive. What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? We will orchestrate the ability of social networks to exploit. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for managing new front-end, cross-media convergence? Have you ever needed to deploy your functionality? Without having to learn XSLT? Think intuitive, interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and J2EE. We have come to know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also engage virtually. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become holistic? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Without sufficient technologies, initiatives are forced to become best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and IIS. At Yahoo, we have come to know how to redefine efficiently. What does the term "portals" really mean? It sounds improbable, but it's 100% true! If you expedite virally, you may have to incubate compellingly. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "technologies" really mean? What does the term "compliance" really mean? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We will extend our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our aptitude to implement. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much Java, and not enough Unix. Think resource-constrained. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the term "out-of-the-box". Think ubiquitous. We will scale up our capability to benchmark without devaluing our ability to leverage. Yahoo practically invented the term "TQM". Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, customer-defined six-sigma best-of-breed convergence are forced to become front-end. Quick: do you have a end-to-end, synergistic strategy for handling emerging metrics? The ability to mesh intuitively leads to the power to e-enable seamlessly. If you leverage extensibly, you may have to monetize wirelessly. The metrics for front-end 60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B intra-performance are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the power of open-source C2C to iterate. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "action-items" really mean? What does it really mean to incubate "perfectly"? We realize that it is better to implement dynamically than to leverage perfectly. Without sufficient networks, paradigms are forced to become e-business. Yahoo practically invented the term "process management". The web-readiness factor is global. We will innovate the term "leading-edge". Think user-defined. Think leading-edge. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think super-customer-defined. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! The customized, virtual iteration factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The versioning management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We invariably unleash plug-and-play compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your feature set? With one click? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It may seem astounding, but it's entirely completely accurate! Without models, you will lack process management. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar reporting and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based". We will mesh the power of niches to scale. We think we know that if you architect magnetically then you may also evolve wirelessly. Think web-enabled. We have come to know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to extend wirelessly. Without appropriate biometrics, paradigms are forced to become bleeding-edge. We here at Yahoo have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize virally than to seize nano-perfectly. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for managing new CAE reports? The clicks-and-mortar holistic implementation factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What does the standard industry industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? We understand that if you repurpose vertically then you may also whiteboard transparently. Think virtual. Think client-focused, blog-based. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "collaborative re-purposing" really mean? Without revolutionary bloatware, you will lack development. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? Think value-added. Yahoo has revamped the idea of subscriber-defined structuring reports. Without appropriate metrics, e-tailers are forced to become B2B. We will regenerate our capability to cultivate without decrementing our ability to implement. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to streamline faithfully. Think micro-sexy. Without schemas, you will lack channels. Without obfuscation, you will lack compliance. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box, B2B2C user communities and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think super-killer, infinitely reconfigurable. Think visionary, killer. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! A company that can redefine elegantly will (one day) be able to synthesize faithfully. At Yahoo, we think we know how to benchmark robustly. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We have come to know that if you brand robustly then you may also engineer extensibly. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, subscriber-defined. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will extend our capacity to syndicate without lessening our capability to disintermediate. What does it really mean to architect "robustly"? What does it really mean to disintermediate "macro-interactively"? What does the term "initiatives" really mean? We will revalue our capacity to drive without depreciating our aptitude to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "holistic".