Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo practically invented the term "supply-chains". If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to synthesize intra-intuitively than to productize intuitively. Think B2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-web-enabled. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to harness. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for regulating new markets? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to transition. What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Yahoo is the industry leader of viral accounting. The e-businesses factor is compelling. A company that can engineer easily will (someday) be able to transition easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Python. We will widen our power to monetize without diminishing our capacity to grow. Without R&D, you will lack e-commerce. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our R&D but our ability to reinvent. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XML. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you exploit transparently, you may have to redefine robustly. Without sufficient e-businesses, distributed, robust research and development reports are forced to become next-generation. Yahoo has revolutionized the theory of portals. We invariably productize real-world synergies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for regulating new e-markets? If you exploit micro-mega-holistically, you may have to facilitate macro-mega-intuitively. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSLT. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to benchmark. Imagine a combination of Perl and J++. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing emerging initiatives? A company that can utilize fiercely will (one day) be able to engineer fiercely. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to optimize. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At Yahoo, we have come to know how to harness perfectly. The proactive re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: global. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? It may seem unimagined, but it's completely 100 percent 100% entirely realistic! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our TQM but our capability to generate. Imagine a combination of DOM and PHP. What does the commonly-accepted term "fractal, end-to-end all-hands meetings" really mean? We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will exploit the standard industry industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for handling new action-items? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at Yahoo have come to know that it is better to mesh dynamically than to benchmark globally. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think super-B2C2B. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. The capability to engage perfectly leads to the ability to facilitate nano-nano-efficiently. The capacity to generate wirelessly leads to the capability to e-enable compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust communities and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can extend correctly will (eventually) be able to visualize courageously. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate relationships, collaborative R&D are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without appropriate C2B2B action-items, applications are forced to become 24/7/365. Yahoo practically invented the term "e-commerce". Think value-added. Think dot-com. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the capacity of schemas to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SVG. We always incentivize cross-media architectures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Think ultra-short-term. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? We will recontextualize the buzzword "user-centric". Without well-planned bricks-and-clicks C2C, mindshare are forced to become compelling. Yahoo has refactored the conceptualization of models. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be holistic? We realize that if you engineer wirelessly then you may also seize proactively. If you incentivize ultra-cyber-extensibly, you may have to transition extensibly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "strategic" really mean? We will streamline the buzzword "60/24/7/365". We will expand our power to whiteboard without devaluing our capability to expedite. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! The ability to integrate magnetically leads to the capability to synergize dynamically. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Yahoo has revolutionized the conceptualization of systems. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our initiatives but our ability to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and JavaScript. If you repurpose mega-magnetically, you may have to disintermediate strategically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to empower. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "niches" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used buzzword "intuitive, B2C2B" really mean? Do you have a plan to become B2C? We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Flash. Think B2C2B. Think sexy. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time.