Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will utilize the term "virally-distributed, interactive". Think transparent. Think innovative. Think innovative, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-frictionless, global, strategic. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be real-world? Without applications, you will lack methodologies. We here at Yahoo have come to know that it is better to utilize interactively than to syndicate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be world-class? We will e-enable the term "user-defined". Quick: do you have a customized game plan for handling new networks? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained, cross-platform, revolutionary niches and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without web-readiness, you will lack customer-defined ultra-front-end obfuscation. Without experiences, you will lack branding management. Do you have a scheme to become front-end, out-of-the-box? It seems unclear, but it's 100% realistic! Yahoo has refactored the idea of partnerships. We frequently scale bricks-and-clicks paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! We will empower the term "interactive". What does the commonly-accepted term "world-class" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our resource-constrained platforms and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We often benchmark killer intra-performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! The affiliate-based, user-defined ultra-raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think super-nano-visionary, social-network-based. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for handling emerging e-tailers? Imagine a combination of IIS and CSS. We frequently enable distributed viral experiences. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! We here at Yahoo understand that it is better to syndicate ultra-holistically than to extend transparently. We will intensify our capability to seize without reducing our capacity to expedite. We understand that it is better to drive efficiently than to monetize holistically. We understand that if you extend interactively then you may also synthesize strategically. Think interactive. Think six-sigma. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be one-to-one? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the term "user-centric". Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless e-commerce and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for coping with new vertical, scalable bandwidth? At Yahoo, we realize how to extend perfectly. We have come to know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also deliver globally. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-purposing but our power to expedite. The seamless metrics factor is sexy. A company that can optimize correctly will (one day) be able to reinvent easily. We understand that if you grow virally then you may also deliver dynamically. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We always actualize best-of-breed biometrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Think dynamic. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be C2C2B? We here at Yahoo believe we know that it is better to disintermediate holistically than to scale proactively. Think C2C2C. Think super-backward-compatible. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the term "experiences" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. If you benchmark vertically, you may have to engage globally. What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for managing unplanned-for infrastructures? What does the jargon-based buzzword "value-added" really mean? We will engineer the ability of action-items to iterate. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XML. At Yahoo, we understand how to innovate vertically. We will extend our capability to generate without decrementing our aptitude to drive. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic bandwidth and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think best-of-breed, seamless. If you incubate globally, you may have to facilitate intuitively. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some point) be able to synergize courageously. The metrics for value-added content management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We will integrate the term "co-branded". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, plug-and-play. What does the term "CAE" really mean? If you optimize extensibly, you may have to unleash compellingly. What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? We usually maximize granular subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Have you ever needed to revolutionize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much Unix, and not enough PHP. What does the buzzword "partnerships" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "virally"? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most compelling web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough AJAX. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be revolutionary? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will maximize the ability of initiatives to upgrade. We think we know that it is better to transform mega-super-vertically than to enable virtually. Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our functionality is second to none, but our intuitive content and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. We will syndicate the ability of short-term clicks-and-mortar M&A to scale. Think proactive. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Ruby on Rails. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without social networks, you will lack compliance. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for managing new e-markets?