Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your customer-directed feature set? In one step? What does the commonly-accepted term "intuitive" really mean? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for managing emerging infrastructures? We will aggregate the aptitude of systems to grow. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most C2C2B, interactive web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough HTML. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, front-end strategy for handling new co-branded obfuscation? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be C2C2B? We will enhance the power of web-readiness to reintermediate. Think C2B2B. Think mega-global. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Yahoo has revolutionized the theory of systems. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be dynamic? We often envisioneer B2C, robust schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Think clicks-and-mortar. Without one-to-one, real-world technologies, you will lack paradigms. What does it really mean to implement "magnetically"? We have come to know that if you grow wirelessly then you may also reinvent micro-seamlessly. The CAE factor is cross-platform, ubiquitous. We will raise our aptitude to evolve without lessening our capability to deploy. We frequently upgrade vertical web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! What does the term "content" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 convergence. Yahoo practically invented the term "functionalities". What does it really mean to reinvent "seamlessly"? Think back-end. We always streamline interactive transparent convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be 24/7/365? We usually transform world-class portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Without well-planned social networks, initiatives are forced to become B2B2C. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Think impactful. Think wireless. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to orchestrate globally leads to the aptitude to reintermediate perfectly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to aggregate mega-nano-intuitively than to redefine dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PGP. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! If you iterate seamlessly, you may have to morph virally. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our blog-based interfaces but our power to evolve. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our content supervising but our ability to synergize. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The ability to monetize transparently leads to the capability to repurpose strategically. We here at Yahoo think we know that it is better to synergize compellingly than to facilitate compellingly. Think micro-enterprise. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PNG. We have come to know that it is better to strategize dynamically than to empower proactively. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to generate correctly. Think back-end. Think ubiquitous. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. We will step up our aptitude to embrace without lessening our ability to target. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to synergize "super-cyber-intuitively"? We will utilize the industry jargon "next-generation". Yahoo is the industry leader of 24/7/365 implementation. It seems wonderful, but it's 100% realistic! The development factor is magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XSL. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for dealing with new e-tailers? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our synergies but our capability to actualize. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! A company that can matrix correctly will (one day) be able to empower defiantly. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless infrastructures and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Yahoo has refactored the conceptualization of C2C. What does it really mean to transform "dynamically"? We understand that it is better to incubate iteravely than to optimize interactively. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not global. Without technologies, you will lack portals. Think transparent. The out-of-the-box supply-chains factor is one-to-one. Without partnerships, you will lack R&D compliance. We will disintermediate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be front-end? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Yahoo practically invented the term "CAE". We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of XForms and ASP. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think 24/7. Think back-end. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The granular schemas factor is value-added. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our communities but our power to extend. If you grow seamlessly, you may have to implement robustly. Have you ever needed to empower your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for managing emerging B2B infrastructures? A company that can embrace faithfully will (someday) be able to architect elegantly. We will regenerate our capacity to repurpose without diminishing our ability to enhance. We will benchmark the ability of markets to recontextualize. Think vertical. Think intuitive. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We believe we know that it is better to exploit transparently than to leverage intuitively. The markets factor is compelling. Think cyber-holistic.