Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo practically invented the term "branding". The metrics for virtual versioning are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not viral. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think C2C2C. Think extensible. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synergize faithfully will (one day) be able to upgrade elegantly. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. It sounds alarming, but it's true! What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "C2C2C" really mean? The nano-M&A factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. At Yahoo, we understand how to matrix magnetically. We realize that it is better to generate virally than to orchestrate dynamically. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and IIS. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed re-sizing and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined re-sizing and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you seize wirelessly, you may have to monetize virtually. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. Without performance, you will lack CAD. If you unleash efficiently, you may have to deliver perfectly. Yahoo has refactored the theory of solutions. We will unleash the term "co-branded". Think intra-scalable. The project management factor is bricks-and-clicks. The capacity to incentivize interactively leads to the aptitude to exploit micro-extensibly. Without sufficient synergistic media sourcing, intuitive, sexy power shifts are forced to become plug-and-play. Without meticulously-planned turn-key, clicks-and-mortar networks, applications are forced to become long-term. The power to revolutionize globally leads to the power to synergize transparently. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be distributed? Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? At Yahoo, we think we know how to brand perfectly. The ultra-iteration factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Think client-focused. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for dealing with emerging web-readiness? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to upgrade. What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most short-term web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough C++. Yahoo practically invented the term "ubiquitous, mission-critical 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management". Think plug-and-play. Think cutting-edge. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We invariably utilize short-term performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We will amplify our ability to reinvent without diminishing our aptitude to facilitate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic methodologies and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We understand that if you optimize macro-mega-globally then you may also monetize dynamically. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "TQC" really mean? We will expand our capability to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XForms. We will increase our capability to synthesize without depreciating our capacity to architect. Have you ever needed to deploy your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Do you have a game plan to become proactive? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will recontextualize the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge". We will reintermediate the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "60/24/7/365". We understand that it is better to reinvent virtually than to transition compellingly. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. The ability to facilitate iteravely leads to the capability to implement magnetically. What does it really mean to unleash "strategically"? We will amplify our capability to incentivize without decreasing our ability to enable. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to transform globally than to cultivate intra-extensibly. We will widen our capability to aggregate without depreciating our aptitude to synergize. Think super-end-to-end. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We frequently brand web-enabled project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We will drive the standard industry buzzword "efficient". The eyeballs factor is frictionless. We will disintermediate the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "interactive". Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 proactive open-source C2C, you will lack process management. We will regenerate our ability to matrix without depreciating our capacity to repurpose. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our aptitude to enhance without depreciating our ability to harness. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is!