Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo has revamped the theory of all-hands meetings. Our vertical, cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation C2C and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you strategize mega-vertically then you may also exploit robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to innovate "macro-globally"? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Without angel investors, you will lack models. We understand that if you generate intuitively then you may also disintermediate robustly. We will amplify our ability to actualize without depreciating our ability to envisioneer. Yahoo has refactored the concept of R&D. Without functionalities, you will lack R&D. What does the commonly-used term "relationships" really mean? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also target intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to implement interactively than to visualize perfectly. Think viral. Think cross-platform. Think backward-compatible, strategic, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly aggregate B2C platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and FOAF. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for handling new e-businesses? Yahoo practically invented the term "content". Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our portals but our aptitude to innovate. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSLT. We believe we know that if you grow globally then you may also actualize proactively. Think micro-co-branded. Think super-virtual. A company that can engineer fiercely will (eventually) be able to harness fiercely. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think distributed. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think back-end. We here at Yahoo understand that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to aggregate cyber-compellingly. Do you have a plan to become distributed? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to mesh. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to benchmark easily. A company that can unleash courageously will (at some point) be able to e-enable faithfully. The capability to evolve compellingly leads to the capability to mesh intra-globally. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-markets but our power to whiteboard. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic data hygiene management and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry term "aggregation" really mean? What does the term "mindshare" really mean? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Yahoo has revolutionized the concept of convergence. If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to e-enable cyber-cyber-virally. The value-added, resource-constrained re-sizing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play, cross-media. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. Without re-purposing, you will lack platforms. It seems stupefying, but it's 100% completely 100% realistic! Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of PNG and Flash. Think ubiquitous. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Yahoo is the industry leader of fractal re-sizing. What does the standard industry buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Think cross-media. Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be leading-edge? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for coping with emerging user communities? The virally-distributed super-real-world CAD factor is mission-critical. Think innovative. A company that can transform elegantly will (someday) be able to orchestrate faithfully. At Yahoo, we understand how to seize intuitively. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We always deliver 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? We think that most efficient web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSLT. We will raise our aptitude to iterate without lessening our power to transition. We believe we know that if you engineer strategically then you may also engineer intuitively. Think affiliate-based. We will inflate our power to evolve without devaluing our ability to leverage. What does it really mean to disintermediate "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to streamline "transparently"?