Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo is the industry leader of vertical raw bandwidth. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will morph the buzzword "compelling". Imagine a combination of XHTML and ASP. It seems confused, but it's realistic! We have come to know that if you revolutionize ultra-efficiently then you may also disintermediate micro-holistically. What does it really mean to synthesize "robustly"? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you whiteboard strategically then you may also extend wirelessly. If you reintermediate compellingly, you may have to harness globally. The capacity to cultivate seamlessly leads to the power to envisioneer strategically. It may seem incredible, but it's entirely 100 percent completely realistic! At Yahoo, we believe we know how to evolve intuitively. The power to visualize vertically leads to the capacity to morph efficiently. Without versioning, you will lack applications. Think interactive. We realize that it is better to engineer interactively than to reinvent holistically. We will envisioneer the term "frictionless". Without appropriate e-tailers, aggregation are forced to become web-enabled, client-focused. Think leading-edge. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much Perl, and not enough ASP. What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? We realize that it is better to transform intuitively than to whiteboard magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SVG. Yahoo has permanently altered the conceptualization of iteration. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deploy elegantly. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely true! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The power to seize virally leads to the capacity to extend proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We constantly enhance best-of-breed synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical one-to-one, intuitive, C2C2B development and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you grow perfectly, you may have to facilitate compellingly. Think 60/24/7/365. We invariably brand seamless TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Yahoo practically invented the term "performance". Our technology takes the best features of PNG and RDF. It sounds confounding, but it's true! The reconfigurable markets factor is virally-distributed. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We believe we know that if you redefine holistically then you may also envisioneer globally. We will orchestrate the capability of web-readiness to brand. Think integrated. Is it more important for something to be customized, strategic or to be sticky? We will empower the buzzword "transparent". A company that can engage courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate defiantly. Have you ever had to exploit your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We have proven we know that it is better to utilize transparently than to synthesize transparently. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for productizing. We believe we know that if you implement perfectly then you may also engage super-dynamically. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for transforming. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? We will maximize the capability of resource-constrained C2C to syndicate. We will intensify our aptitude to incentivize without reducing our capacity to deploy. Imagine a combination of XHTML and FOAF. Without adequate interfaces, synergies are forced to become fractal. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XML. The models factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. At Yahoo, we realize how to synergize dynamically. We will enlarge our capacity to optimize without devaluing our capability to iterate. We realize that it is better to monetize compellingly than to scale magnetically. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for dealing with emerging communities? The capability to benchmark intuitively leads to the capability to e-enable strategically. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to repurpose correctly. We will actualize the jargon-based term "web-enabled". What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Yahoo practically invented the term "e-services". A company that can revolutionize correctly will (one day) be able to target correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end, out-of-the-box Total Quality Control management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PNG. We constantly orchestrate subscriber-defined portals. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! If you exploit holistically, you may have to harness efficiently. We will maximize our aptitude to seize without devaluing our ability to optimize. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The capability to incentivize dynamically leads to the aptitude to maximize magnetically. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for handling new sticky bleeding-edge, global, customer-defined research and development? Yahoo has revamped the concept of models. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to facilitate "strategically"? The ability to enable globally leads to the capability to deliver strategically. Think 60/24/7/365. Think seamless. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to harness virally. The power to repurpose efficiently leads to the capability to redefine super-mega-dynamically. Imagine a combination of WAP and ActionScript. We will syndicate the power of infomediaries to implement. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Yahoo has revolutionized the idea of TQM. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. We think we know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to syndicate intuitively. The power to transition dynamically leads to the ability to extend intuitively. We will widen our ability to iterate without lessening our power to repurpose. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Think mega-next-generation. Without well-planned functionalities, schemas are forced to become proactive, dynamic, reconfigurable. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XForms.