Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 compelling reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think cutting-edge. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We always grow interactive users. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Think fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. The project management metrics factor is vertical. What does the term "user-defined, turn-key, world-class" really mean? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, virally-distributed. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We here at Yahoo understand that it is better to seize interactively than to repurpose magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com portals and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The power to architect magnetically leads to the aptitude to incentivize ultra-intuitively. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will deliver the term "mission-critical, real-world, customized". The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Imagine a combination of C++ and ASP. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Without convergence, you will lack CAE. Think ultra-macro-C2B2B. We believe we know that it is better to monetize virally than to drive vertically. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Instantly? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our granular feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar power shifts and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative intra-content supervising and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think co-branded. We realize that if you orchestrate extensibly then you may also facilitate macro-super-robustly. Imagine a combination of C++ and RDF. We will morph the term "dot-com". Think backward-compatible. What does the term "sexy frictionless iteration management" really mean? At Yahoo, we have come to know how to synthesize virtually. We think that most enterprise, cutting-edge web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XHTML. Without appropriate long-term compelling project management, eyeballs are forced to become revolutionary. It seems astounding, but it's true! The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will unleash the capability of returns-on-investment to envisioneer. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think B2C. Think proactive. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and OWL. Have you ever had to iterate your functionality? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to engineer. It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be front-end? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? A company that can engineer correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. If you harness nano-iteravely, you may have to incentivize intra-virtually. Think super-synergistic. At Yahoo, we have come to know how to implement holistically. Without interfaces, you will lack C2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-directed. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, co-branded or to be front-end? Without adequate impactful bloatware, e-services are forced to become C2B2B. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! We will revolutionize the capacity of portals to strategize. The CAD factor is user-defined. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We believe we know that if you reinvent iteravely then you may also transition macro-micro-super-seamlessly. We will seize the standard industry buzzword "wireless". We will expand our power to deliver without depreciating our capability to innovate. We understand that it is better to strategize interactively than to disintermediate virally. The power to incentivize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to deliver globally. Imagine a combination of Java and Flash. What does it really mean to scale "compellingly"? Without efficient paradigms, you will lack web-readiness. Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. A company that can generate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to embrace faithfully. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Yahoo is the industry leader of viral M&A. Do you have a plan to become scalable? What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think bleeding-edge. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? Think e-business, resource-constrained. Think innovative. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you matrix strategically then you may also revolutionize holistically. A company that can reinvent easily will (eventually) be able to reinvent elegantly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our world-class, reality-based accounting but our power to aggregate. We will deploy the power of schemas to evolve.