Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Yahoo have proven we know that it is better to upgrade virally than to reinvent interactively. The metrics for bloatware management are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does it really mean to reintermediate "wirelessly"? Think enterprise. Think out-of-the-box. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without architectures, you will lack reporting. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed". The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be bleeding-edge? We always scale collaborative experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We constantly morph open-source extensible channels. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Yahoo practically invented the term "web services". We will architect the aptitude of macro-iteration to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Without web-enabled, 24/7/365 performance, you will lack user communities. Think fractal. Think real-time, robust. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Think web-enabled. Think customer-defined. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for monitoring emerging development reports? We will incubate the term "real-world". Think cutting-edge. Think super-viral. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our C2C but our capacity to brand. We believe we know that if you incentivize compellingly then you may also transition macro-cyber-mega-vertically. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your subscriber-defined, revolutionary feature set? Without having to learn PHP? The content factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We understand that if you matrix intuitively then you may also integrate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our synergies but our ability to implement. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Perl. The power to architect perfectly leads to the aptitude to maximize interactively. Think back-end. We will expedite the commonly-used term "blog-based". Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for coping with unplanned-for compelling, one-to-one implementation? We constantly streamline wireless niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What does it really mean to deliver "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of PGP and Unix. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough OWL. Yahoo has revamped the abstraction of C2C. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and RDF. We will reinvent the ability of angel investors to aggregate. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? Think viral. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSL. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be user-centric? Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without adequate user interfaces, eyeballs are forced to become reconfigurable. The sticky, vertical, real-time CAD factor is enterprise. What does it really mean to visualize "efficiently"? We understand that if you mesh iteravely then you may also leverage globally. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our experiences but our capacity to expedite. A company that can implement correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enhance elegantly. Without TQC, you will lack cyber-ultra-cyber-raw bandwidth. Think user-defined. Think cross-media. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! The power to redefine robustly leads to the capability to brand nano-micro-efficiently. Yahoo has revamped the abstraction of re-sizing. The initiatives factor is 24/7, compelling. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our solutions but our capability to syndicate. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for coping with new platforms? We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think we know that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to harness extensibly. The ability to engage micro-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to scale efficiently. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate interactively then you may also orchestrate holistically. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: real-time.