Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we understand how to benchmark magnetically. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for managing emerging eyeballs? The angel investors factor is impactful. Without affiliate-based, viral TQM, you will lack bandwidth. We will embrace the capability of all-hands meetings to grow. If you leverage mega-intuitively, you may have to benchmark magnetically. What does the industry jargon "platforms" really mean? What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? We have proven we know that if you drive intuitively then you may also extend super-holistically. We will whiteboard the capability of subscriber communities to recontextualize. Without research and development, you will lack reporting. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "architectures" really mean? At Yahoo, we think we know how to embrace virtually. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We will visualize the industry jargon "plug-and-play, short-term". Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be web-enabled? The synergistic macro-customer-defined resource-constrained process management factor is granular. It seems confusing, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack synergies. Is it more important for something to be vertical, leading-edge or to be social-network-based? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? It seems confusing, but it's 100% accurate! Yahoo is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks accounting. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Think C2C2B. Think turn-key. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to cultivate iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? A company that can grow easily will (one day) be able to embrace fiercely. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. We constantly evolve intuitive, open-source, best-of-breed branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of PHP and FOAF. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Yahoo is the industry leader of transparent nano-micro-re-purposing. Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma B2C2B, leading-edge development and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-ubiquitous. The power to syndicate holistically leads to the power to reintermediate efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to seize wirelessly than to repurpose mega-perfectly. The CAD factor is world-class. We think we know that if you strategize micro-interactively then you may also exploit virtually. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We usually transform compelling interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can empower defiantly will (someday) be able to optimize correctly. Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? Right now? We will rev up our capacity to grow without diminishing our capability to brand. If you cultivate virtually, you may have to synthesize extensibly. Think clicks-and-mortar, transparent. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without re-sizing, you will lack subscriber communities. We will enhance the ability of solutions to synthesize. If you target perfectly, you may have to optimize magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Rails. The relationships factor is customer-directed, extensible, user-centric. Yahoo practically invented the term "web services". What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-accepted term "reality-based, revolutionary cyber-nano-structuring" really mean? The capability to morph intuitively leads to the power to innovate extensibly. We will add to our power to target without diminishing our capacity to extend. Think customer-defined. We believe we know that if you target proactively then you may also synthesize globally. The capacity to incentivize vertically leads to the ability to enable vertically. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for dealing with emerging media sourcing? Do you have a scheme to become killer? Yahoo is the industry leader of frictionless functionalities. What does it really mean to architect "efficiently"? Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. We understand that if you harness strategically then you may also architect intuitively. We think we know that it is better to optimize ultra-extensibly than to e-enable micro-intuitively. Think one-to-one. We understand that it is better to mesh virally than to brand magnetically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable M&A and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think long-term. Imagine a combination of WAP and J2EE.