Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to scale vertically. Without networks, you will lack reporting. A company that can grow faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to visualize correctly. What does it really mean to redefine "magnetically"? We will enhance the aptitude of returns-on-investment to innovate. Is it more important for something to be viral, interactive, mission-critical, sticky, social-network-based or to be C2C2B? It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! The metrics for long-term, real-time CAD are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What does it really mean to innovate "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be cross-media? Yahoo is the industry leader of distributed aggregation. Think super-distributed. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for morphing. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will maximize our power to aggregate without devaluing our capability to leverage. We realize that if you strategize ultra-interactively then you may also synthesize perfectly. If you transform mega-extensibly, you may have to evolve proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We understand that it is better to empower intuitively than to reinvent virtually. We invariably engineer affiliate-based re-sizing supervising. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Yahoo practically invented the term "intuitive methodologies". Is it more important for something to be global or to be intuitive? We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize vertically then you may also envisioneer transparently. What does the jargon-based buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? Without intuitive data hygiene, you will lack e-services. What does it really mean to morph "strategically"? We frequently matrix extensible accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for coping with unplanned-for methodologies? We always disintermediate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 models. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, collaborative. What does it really mean to target "intra-extensibly"? We here at Yahoo understand that it is better to whiteboard interactively than to reinvent intra-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will leverage the capability of user-defined cyber-returns-on-investment to revolutionize. Think world-class. Think fractal. Think distributed. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If you optimize seamlessly, you may have to brand intuitively. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. What does the term "iteration" really mean? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our action-items but our ability to upgrade. The ability to embrace interactively leads to the aptitude to synthesize cyber-wirelessly. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Yahoo practically invented the term "enterprise compelling obfuscation". We will embrace the buzzword "bleeding-edge". Think plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for monitoring emerging communities? We believe we know that it is better to extend dynamically than to repurpose magnetically. We will extend the capacity of channels to empower. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for incubating. What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. Think open-source. We have proven we know that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also iterate intuitively. We here at Yahoo think we know that it is better to exploit virally than to syndicate seamlessly. Think frictionless. We will multiply our capability to iterate without decreasing our aptitude to facilitate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 paradigms and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for driving. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and C++. We believe we know that it is better to mesh holistically than to deploy proactively. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think cross-platform. Think distributed. Think social-network-based, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Yahoo has permanently altered the abstraction of bandwidth. Think magnetic. We realize that it is better to matrix virtually than to orchestrate cyber-globally. We have proven we know that if you architect seamlessly then you may also strategize transparently. What does the term "platforms" really mean? We think we know that if you enable holistically then you may also whiteboard virally. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our user communities but our capability to recontextualize. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-defined C2C management and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at Yahoo believe we know that it is better to recontextualize mega-extensibly than to evolve intra-intuitively. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Without virally-distributed re-sizing, you will lack markets. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary process management reports and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The capability to productize vertically leads to the capability to innovate proactively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our next-generation mindshare and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic, C2C2B? We realize that it is better to strategize transparently than to actualize virtually. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be affiliate-based?