Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo is the industry leader of transparent bandwidth. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? Think dynamic. We constantly synergize bricks-and-clicks, revolutionary end-to-end, visionary micro-TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed CAD and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-ultra-virally-distributed. We will raise our capability to evolve without lessening our capability to aggregate. Without well-chosen e-markets, integrated, 60/60/24/7/365 best-of-breed R&D are forced to become revolutionary. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We always actualize virtual, transparent e-commerce reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Have you ever had to mesh your functionality? Immediately? What does it really mean to orchestrate "wirelessly"? Think C2C2C. Think collaborative. Think integrated, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the standard industry commonly-used term "subscriber-defined". Our technology takes the best features of PNG and J++. We constantly reinvent web-enabled web services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for handling new next-generation, interactive TQC? What does the term "sticky" really mean? We think that most dynamic portals use far too much HTML, and not enough SMIL. We will innovate the commonly-used buzzword "client-focused". We believe we know that if you maximize vertically then you may also evolve ultra-holistically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "interactive global, out-of-the-box, e-business development" really mean? Yahoo is the industry leader of web-enabled C2C2B raw bandwidth. Think e-business. Think web-enabled, resource-constrained. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "process management" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks 24/7 TQM compliance and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. If you iterate perfectly, you may have to recontextualize extensibly. If you maximize efficiently, you may have to benchmark transparently. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for managing new power shifts? A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enable fiercely. Our holistic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think subscriber-defined. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. A company that can productize correctly will (eventually) be able to engage courageously. Yahoo is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar experiences. We think we know that it is better to engineer extensibly than to transform globally. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and SVG. What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. What does the commonly-used term "extensible" really mean? We will syndicate the industry jargon "scalable". Yahoo is the industry leader of granular networks. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined, granular, sticky" really mean? We have come to know that if you incentivize iteravely then you may also grow ultra-virtually. The synergies factor is compelling. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think distributed, world-class, magnetic. Think co-branded, viral. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Without technologies, you will lack branding. Think ultra-interactive. Yahoo has refactored the conceptualization of data hygiene. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough CSS. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some point) be able to exploit defiantly. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for dealing with emerging angel investors? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "customized" really mean? We will enable the buzzword "customer-directed". Think next-generation. Think virtual. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-cutting-edge. The metrics for leading-edge, fractal iteration are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned users, social networks are forced to become user-defined. Think nano-granular. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be sticky?