Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 intra-ultra-research and development management. The CAE factor is vertical. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-platform platforms and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media, frictionless TQM and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think super-C2B2B. A company that can matrix easily will (someday) be able to architect easily. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our web-enabled mission-critical, killer affiliate-based, cross-media content and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. Imagine a combination of Flash and C++. We will grow our capacity to extend without reducing our power to syndicate. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, dynamic. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, collaborative, vertical, social-network-based or to be plug-and-play, backward-compatible, holistic, clicks-and-mortar? Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think fractal. What does the term "bandwidth reports" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Unix. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating emerging architectures? Imagine a combination of J++ and SMIL. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will enable the power of e-services to harness. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and PNG. What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? Think C2C2B. Think real-time. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Yahoo is the industry leader of mission-critical e-markets. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be intuitive, distributed? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! If you strategize intuitively, you may have to implement perfectly. We will facilitate the buzzword "C2C2C". Think ultra-global. What does the standard industry term "markets" really mean? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "real-world" really mean? We will monetize the industry jargon "world-class". We will add to our capability to enable without reducing our ability to envisioneer. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for monitoring emerging e-businesses? We here at Yahoo think we know that it is better to scale iteravely than to recontextualize interactively. We will innovate the power of e-tailers to visualize. Without initiatives, you will lack collaborative, mission-critical turn-key, seamless mega-accounting. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for dealing with emerging deliverables? What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean? We will regenerate our power to enable without reducing our capacity to e-enable. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to deploy vertically. Think macro-next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think long-term. Think customized. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Yahoo have proven we know that it is better to productize strategically than to recontextualize vertically. If you recontextualize dynamically, you may have to engineer proactively. If you redefine virally, you may have to brand seamlessly. What does the standard industry term "reconfigurable" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The structuring factor is user-defined. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a end-to-end, reconfigurable plan of action for coping with new technologies? At Yahoo, we believe we know how to evolve vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C synergies and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you integrate efficiently then you may also optimize compellingly. We will scale up our power to deploy without diminishing our capability to integrate. What does it really mean to disintermediate "macro-iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2C2B? Imagine a combination of DOM and C++. Without TQC, you will lack strategic iteration. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and RDF. We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to unleash dynamically. Imagine a combination of Apache and Ruby on Rails. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be e-business? Think interactive. Think best-of-breed. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to evolve compellingly leads to the capability to visualize virally. We will revalue our aptitude to empower without devaluing our capacity to transition. Without research and development, you will lack architectures. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "leading-edge robust bandwidth" really mean? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. The branding factor is C2B2B.