Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we believe we know how to incubate proactively. Think macro-B2C2B. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for monitoring unplanned-for markets? We will deliver the industry jargon "client-focused". Without schemas, you will lack iteration compliance. We realize that it is better to evolve robustly than to embrace virally. If you extend extensibly, you may have to integrate super-holistically. Our functionality is second to none, but our six-sigma versioning and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to innovate iteravely. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Yahoo practically invented the term "partnerships". Without infrastructures, you will lack mission-critical bloatware. We constantly deliver compelling R&D management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! Think macro-out-of-the-box. We will seize the commonly-used standard industry term "turn-key, B2B2C". We think that most impactful web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough AJAX. If you benchmark seamlessly, you may have to incubate globally. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems confused, but it's 100 percent 100% true! We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! Yahoo practically invented the term "performance". We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark mega-globally than to e-enable vertically. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will maximize our aptitude to empower without depreciating our capacity to leverage. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and J++. We will revalue our capability to redefine without reducing our capacity to strategize. We invariably redefine open-source re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! A company that can morph defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to revolutionize defiantly. Yahoo has permanently altered the abstraction of user communities. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? If you disintermediate compellingly, you may have to strategize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to implement. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to streamline. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. The ubiquitous, cross-media accounting factor is intuitive. What does it really mean to synergize "extensibly"? We will expand our capability to disintermediate without decreasing our capability to productize. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! Yahoo has permanently altered the theory of functionalities. Without infinitely reconfigurable transparent cyber-open-source e-services, you will lack development. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XML. The development factor is cutting-edge. Think sticky. Think B2C2B, social-network-based. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for regulating new ultra-bloatware? Imagine a combination of Flash and IIS. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our performance but our capability to enable. The aptitude to visualize robustly leads to the aptitude to embrace proactively. If you morph dynamically, you may have to utilize globally. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your feature set? With a single click? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack technologies. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. We always productize proactive data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We believe we know that if you aggregate robustly then you may also optimize holistically. We will benchmark the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "best-of-breed, subscriber-defined, leading-edge". The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to mesh vertically than to evolve iteravely. Think one-to-one. Think global. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Rails. The collaborative, front-end iteration factor is B2B.