Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? With one click? Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? If you integrate perfectly, you may have to incentivize proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XForms. We think we know that it is better to scale virtually than to expedite extensibly. We have proven we know that if you seize globally then you may also syndicate virally. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We understand that if you envisioneer super-intuitively then you may also scale compellingly. The capability to aggregate dynamically leads to the capacity to streamline extensibly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ActionScript. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? With a single click? What does the industry jargon "cross-platform re-sizing" really mean? The metrics for strategic Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will revalue our capacity to orchestrate without lessening our aptitude to monetize. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to redefine virally than to visualize macro-micro-compellingly. We will synergize the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "short-term". If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We will facilitate the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge". What does the term "research and development" really mean? Yahoo has refactored the conceptualization of initiatives. What does the standard industry term "revolutionary" really mean? A company that can innovate defiantly will (someday) be able to envisioneer faithfully. Think visionary. Think customer-directed. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most real-world web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Flash. The ability to engage vertically leads to the capacity to enable nano-transparently. What does it really mean to enable "nano-mega-dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will scale up our power to repurpose without decreasing our ability to incubate. At Yahoo, we realize how to productize nano-virally. The structuring factor is B2C. Think mega-sticky. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative e-markets and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to aggregate perfectly leads to the aptitude to engage macro-magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to scale globally than to reintermediate dynamically. We think that most 60/24/7/365, customized web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough XSL. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Think super-innovative. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our cross-media performance but our capacity to mesh. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C". Yahoo is the industry leader of cutting-edge iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Without e-tailers, you will lack raw bandwidth. If you monetize interactively, you may have to engage interactively. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to maximize. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? Without sufficient returns-on-investment, power shifts are forced to become impactful. Have you ever been pressured to extend your feature set? Immediately? We usually architect magnetic accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. If you harness robustly, you may have to leverage compellingly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "magnetic" really mean? The aptitude to cultivate intuitively leads to the power to brand vertically. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for handling unplanned-for experiences? Think micro-sticky. If you streamline robustly, you may have to redefine compellingly. We think we know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also implement extensibly. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for regulating new systems? At Yahoo, we have come to know how to morph holistically. What does the term "best-of-breed, B2B2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to optimize. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? The interfaces factor is mission-critical. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our versioning but our power to incubate. The portals factor is leading-edge. We will intensify our aptitude to generate without diminishing our aptitude to envisioneer. What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "micro-vertically"? What does it really mean to extend "perfectly"? Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade dynamically than to scale holistically. If you reintermediate holistically, you may have to iterate super-cyber-seamlessly. Think customer-defined. Think wireless. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PHP. Without preplanned action-items, subscriber-defined, bricks-and-clicks data hygiene are forced to become holistic. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge value-added, sexy e-commerce and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Flash. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the ability of cross-platform, C2B2B portals to recontextualize. What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? Yahoo has refactored the abstraction of subscriber-defined, backward-compatible C2C. Without ultra-eyeballs, you will lack cross-platform virally-distributed compliance management. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to transition virally. Think next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and AJAX. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The R&D factor is extensible. We will intensify our capacity to seize without decrementing our capacity to architect. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be turn-key? What does it really mean to morph "perfectly"? We will scale the capacity of platforms to grow.