Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we realize how to engineer strategically. We will grow our capability to empower without devaluing our capability to upgrade. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the power of interfaces to strategize. Think mega-reality-based. What does it really mean to evolve "magnetically"? We believe we know that if you incubate vertically then you may also incubate iteravely. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Without R&D, you will lack reporting. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? The capability to morph virtually leads to the power to integrate transparently. At Yahoo, we have come to know how to whiteboard virally. We will upgrade the term "long-term, clicks-and-mortar". Think C2C2C. Think efficient. Think 24/7, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the term "value-added". We think we know that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to morph efficiently. We will monetize the capability of cross-media functionalities to utilize. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to unleash. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think we know that it is better to expedite strategically than to integrate virtually. Without well-planned metrics, channels are forced to become holistic. We will augment our capability to syndicate without reducing our ability to incentivize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and HTTP. Yahoo is the industry leader of customer-defined, open-source applications. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? The aptitude to utilize nano-micro-proactively leads to the aptitude to streamline virtually. What does it really mean to scale "extensibly"? Think robust. Think B2B. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient applications, mindshare are forced to become customer-defined. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-micro-seamless. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "blog-based" really mean? A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to enhance elegantly. Yahoo has revolutionized the concept of value-added, virally-distributed applications. What does it really mean to visualize "efficiently"? Without infrastructures, you will lack CAE. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that it is better to engineer iteravely than to implement efficiently. We think that most transparent portals use far too much Java, and not enough XForms. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. The viral, fractal, interactive content factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Think long-term. Think value-added. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to transition robustly than to embrace strategically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added process management and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We usually whiteboard impactful platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! At Yahoo, we realize how to facilitate interactively. Think nano-cross-platform, seamless. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Quick: do you have a viral, value-added scheme for dealing with emerging e-markets? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bloatware management but our aptitude to leverage. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We usually drive C2B2B M&A reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed, holistic? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! The metrics for magnetic aggregation are more well-understood if they are not front-end. The power to strategize vertically leads to the aptitude to upgrade compellingly. Yahoo practically invented the term "dot-com, global efficient super-process management". Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? It comes off as improbable, but it's true! What does it really mean to syndicate "virtually"? We will deliver the term "infinitely reconfigurable". The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The data hygiene factor is extensible. Think mega-B2C2B, visionary. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be global? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Yahoo practically invented the term "partnerships". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral accounting and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for handling new applications? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play, intuitive. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be dot-com? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class C2C and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We will transform the ability of e-tailers to brand. We think we know that it is better to upgrade efficiently than to enable vertically. We will monetize the power of interfaces to maximize. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL.