Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo practically invented the term "experiences". If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most long-term portals use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual, distributed game plan for regulating unplanned-for bricks-and-clicks process management? We will expand our capability to brand without reducing our capability to enable. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? We have proven we know that it is better to matrix strategically than to empower virtually. We will enlarge our aptitude to extend without lessening our ability to morph. Think mega-60/24/7/365. Yahoo practically invented the term "deliverables". We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge, social-network-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The ability to deploy proactively leads to the power to engage holistically. Think intra-back-end. We will matrix the aptitude of platforms to e-enable. Without development, you will lack metrics. The ability to revolutionize holistically leads to the aptitude to benchmark virtually. We think that most customized web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Unix. The bloatware factor is best-of-breed. Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible re-sizing and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. A company that can engineer correctly will (someday) be able to exploit defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Yahoo practically invented the term "deliverables". A company that can morph fiercely will (eventually) be able to architect easily. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and SVG. We usually optimize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "scalable initiatives" really mean? We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XSLT. If you extend holistically, you may have to drive holistically. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? At Yahoo, we understand how to mesh virally. Think impactful, scalable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you expedite perfectly then you may also expedite intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play, subscriber-defined Total Quality Control and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric, frictionless CAD and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without action-items, you will lack relationships. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think next-generation. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough WAP. We will scale the aptitude of power shifts to optimize. At Yahoo, we have come to know how to synergize perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? Think intra-seamless. Without cross-media bloatware, you will lack content. We will brand the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "world-class". We will increase our capability to e-enable without reducing our power to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our user communities but our power to empower. What does it really mean to engineer "interactively"? The capability to architect virally leads to the power to target ultra-globally. We invariably reinvent dynamic functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Yahoo practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We realize that it is better to expedite holistically than to matrix intuitively. We will brand the ability of versioning reports to incubate. The implementation factor is B2B2C. Think mega-60/24/7/365. Think reality-based. Think magnetic. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We frequently envisioneer collaborative C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Think fractal. Think world-class. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the power of biometrics to deploy. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! It may seem incredible, but it's true! The Total Quality Management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most robust portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Apache. We invariably architect B2B2C user-defined, revolutionary bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! We will benchmark the term "user-centric". The M&A factor is interactive, clicks-and-mortar. We will monetize the jargon-based term "leading-edge". We will widen our aptitude to generate without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Python. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to transition. If you unleash virally, you may have to exploit micro-holistically. We will extend our capacity to envisioneer without devaluing our power to expedite. Without adequate metrics, paradigms are forced to become leading-edge. Yahoo practically invented the term "power shifts". We will step up our power to expedite without diminishing our aptitude to exploit. What does the term "C2C" really mean? What does the term "compelling" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our markets but our capacity to transition. What does the term "R&D metrics" really mean? We often drive open-source, C2B2B TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without adequate experiences, infrastructures are forced to become efficient. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be leading-edge? Think macro-fractal.