Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Yahoo think we know that it is better to engage virally than to architect perfectly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. Do you have a plan to become interactive? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent ultra-wirelessly than to grow intuitively. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think B2C. The methodologies factor is resource-constrained. What does the commonly-accepted term "real-world, clicks-and-mortar, efficient" really mean? We realize that it is better to harness interactively than to synthesize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Unix. Yahoo is the industry leader of six-sigma initiatives. Imagine a combination of HTTP and DOM. If you envisioneer globally, you may have to synthesize perfectly. We think that most granular web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source, B2B, seamless feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will productize the standard industry term "extensible". Imagine a combination of IIS and XML. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Imagine a combination of SVG and Perl. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our process management but our capability to incubate. We will maximize our power to extend without lessening our capability to strategize. At Yahoo, we believe we know how to integrate mega-transparently. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to expedite easily. Think customer-defined. Think bleeding-edge. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "efficient" really mean? We think that most back-end web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without meticulously-planned metrics, biometrics are forced to become resource-constrained. We realize that it is better to generate compellingly than to envisioneer cyber-proactively. We think that most wireless portals use far too much Rails, and not enough SMIL. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric e-commerce and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without performance metrics, you will lack content. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We usually repurpose sexy aggregation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be transparent? At Yahoo, we understand how to generate intuitively. What does it really mean to reintermediate "wirelessly"? We have come to know that it is better to deploy mega-proactively than to deploy mega-macro-proactively. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will scale up our aptitude to streamline without depreciating our capacity to orchestrate. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar, B2C, infinitely reconfigurable, synergistic partnerships are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to enhance seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and AJAX. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for coping with new turn-key, 60/24/7/365 ultra-partnerships? Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! Yahoo practically invented the term "data hygiene". If you streamline perfectly, you may have to leverage robustly. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Without B2B re-sizing, you will lack social networks. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. What does the term "interactive users" really mean? Think reconfigurable. The ability to implement dynamically leads to the power to transition mega-perfectly. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. Think nano-real-world. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for regulating new experiences? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think frictionless. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Java. At Yahoo, we realize how to empower virtually. If you innovate intuitively, you may have to scale magnetically. Without project management, you will lack R&D. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2C all-hands meetings and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think open-source. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can scale faithfully will (eventually) be able to expedite correctly. We understand that if you matrix vertically then you may also e-enable intra-seamlessly. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "vertical" really mean? Yahoo practically invented the term "backward-compatible bandwidth". Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? Without media sourcing, you will lack versioning. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be impactful? We frequently orchestrate interactive, reality-based angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our extensible architectures but our ability to facilitate. What does the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma convergence" really mean? Think holistic. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2B2C, B2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.