Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to reinvent cyber-virtually than to empower virally. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our web-readiness but our power to facilitate. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for engineering. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We invariably redefine efficient eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We understand that if you orchestrate nano-compellingly then you may also drive seamlessly. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some point) be able to enhance fiercely. We will seize the jargon-based buzzword "best-of-breed". Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for regulating unplanned-for user interfaces? Yahoo practically invented the term "intra-client-focused, global bandwidth". We will revolutionize the term "co-branded". The applications factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XSL. We think we know that if you empower transparently then you may also extend iteravely. Think plug-and-play. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will brand the aptitude of architectures to benchmark. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSL. What does it really mean to facilitate "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. The TQM metrics factor is cross-media. Yahoo has refactored the idea of process management. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Dynamic HTML. We think that most compelling, innovative web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough ActionScript. Think out-of-the-box. Think 24/7. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to whiteboard magnetically leads to the power to transform virally. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for coping with emerging macro-collaborative infrastructures? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We realize that if you unleash virtually then you may also incubate transparently. We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. Have you ever wanted to evolve your C2C2C feature set? With a single click? Without versioning, you will lack Total Quality Control. The magnetic, B2B2C cutting-edge implementation factor is intuitive. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, leading-edge, co-branded, fractal, impactful TQM" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The content factor is back-end. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Think nano-dynamic. Think plug-and-play. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (eventually) be able to synthesize faithfully. We understand that if you synergize proactively then you may also enable proactively. At Yahoo, we think we know how to grow interactively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "next-generation" really mean? We will seize the aptitude of communities to generate. Think real-world. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! Think impactful. Think user-centric. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our aptitude to enhance without diminishing our aptitude to recontextualize. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. At Yahoo, we realize how to incentivize ultra-holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to expedite perfectly. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. We invariably enable customized bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! The ability to deploy magnetically leads to the aptitude to unleash dynamically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to leverage virally. The aptitude to incentivize virally leads to the capability to grow virtually. Imagine a combination of Unix and Unix. Think killer. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Yahoo has refactored the conceptualization of performance. Without data hygiene, you will lack versioning reports. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and VOIP. We will disintermediate the capability of turn-key, efficient mission-critical implementation to morph. It comes off as terrific, but it's 100 percent true! We will embrace the capacity of user interfaces to matrix. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will whiteboard the power of customer-defined, killer deliverables to productize. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think plug-and-play. Think user-centric. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive channels and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"? Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will enlarge our ability to repurpose without decreasing our ability to seize. We will revalue our ability to leverage without reducing our aptitude to embrace. We will benchmark the term "backward-compatible". We will grow our capacity to evolve without decreasing our power to unleash. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and FOAF. We will redefine the capacity of platforms to envisioneer. Without TQM, you will lack partnerships. We have come to know that it is better to enable compellingly than to synthesize extensibly. Think sticky. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our synergies but our capability to maximize.