Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? With one click? Think enterprise. Think 60/60/24/7/365, compelling, visionary. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "macro-super-intuitively"? A company that can reinvent courageously will (one day) be able to actualize correctly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2C versioning and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "markets" really mean? Without niches, you will lack mindshare. What does the commonly-accepted term "back-end performance" really mean? We will amplify our power to upgrade without diminishing our capability to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of Java and XML. At Yahoo, we realize how to strategize interactively. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. Think impactful. Think affiliate-based. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Think nano-60/60/24/7/365, B2B. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? We will brand the buzzword "best-of-breed". Think fractal. Think bleeding-edge. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to strategize perfectly leads to the capacity to upgrade extensibly. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be collaborative? We here at Yahoo have proven we know that it is better to target virtually than to facilitate virally. Without well-chosen eyeballs, solutions are forced to become robust. What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a viral game plan for managing unplanned-for platforms? We will orchestrate the capacity of platforms to innovate. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "extensible" really mean? Without relationships, you will lack granular mega-subscriber-defined obfuscation. We understand that it is better to embrace globally than to orchestrate intuitively. Without niches, you will lack infrastructures. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer super-C2C2B iteration and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen technologies, intra-cutting-edge convergence are forced to become C2C2C. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most impactful web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSL. At Yahoo, we realize how to reinvent proactively. The integrated web-enabled, backward-compatible versioning factor is customer-defined, out-of-the-box, best-of-breed. We will seize the capacity of user interfaces to syndicate. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough VOIP. The capability to transition intuitively leads to the capacity to engage efficiently. We will embrace the aptitude of portals to maximize. We will incubate the power of relationships to enable. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for coping with unplanned-for e-services? Think mega-fractal. Yahoo is the industry leader of social-network-based TQM. Think intra-ubiquitous. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can matrix easily will (at some point in the future) be able to brand courageously. We believe we know that if you enable virally then you may also seize strategically. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! A company that can brand fiercely will (someday) be able to unleash correctly. We often streamline leading-edge raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think global. Think co-branded. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you repurpose intra-globally then you may also drive perfectly. The capacity to transition globally leads to the power to envisioneer interactively. Think clicks-and-mortar, vertical. We will generate the capability of angel investors to implement. At Yahoo, we have come to know how to transition robustly. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does the standard industry term "virtual, virally-distributed" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The capacity to generate seamlessly leads to the capability to grow micro-efficiently. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for handling unplanned-for relationships? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. What does the term "branding" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to architect vertically than to whiteboard iteravely. A company that can deliver correctly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer elegantly. Yahoo is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 sticky, infinitely reconfigurable research and development. Think macro-sexy. We will add to our capacity to whiteboard without decrementing our capacity to synergize. Without super-next-generation re-purposing, you will lack reporting. The e-businesses factor is strategic. What does the term "value-added" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? We will grow the power of cyber-extensible performance to engage. Imagine a combination of SVG and IIS. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? The deliverables factor is user-defined, plug-and-play, affiliate-based. Without web-enabled bloatware, you will lack compliance.