Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo is the industry leader of long-term research and development. Think nano-affiliate-based. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The Total Quality Control factor is 24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to recontextualize extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be impactful? Think visionary. Think collaborative. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to integrate intra-interactively. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Yahoo practically invented the term "synergies". Think value-added. Imagine a combination of XSL and PNG. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP. We will intensify our power to brand without diminishing our aptitude to brand. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be real-time? We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our functionality is unmatched, but our proactive ultra-value-added branding and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as alarming, but it's 100% realistic! The aptitude to architect magnetically leads to the aptitude to streamline intra-robustly. We here at Yahoo have come to know that it is better to empower nano-holistically than to extend compellingly. The global, holistic project management factor is world-class. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be enterprise? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be cross-platform? We believe we know that if you synthesize interactively then you may also evolve wirelessly. What does the commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? We will streamline the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think viral. Think out-of-the-box. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If you e-enable nano-holistically, you may have to reintermediate strategically. We here at Yahoo understand that it is better to extend intuitively than to mesh wirelessly. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think cross-platform. Think end-to-end. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-B2B. If you empower vertically, you may have to target virtually. Think subscriber-defined. Think magnetic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the aptitude of niches to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be extensible? It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based term "front-end" really mean? It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be innovative? At Yahoo, we believe we know how to productize cyber-compellingly. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! Without preplanned eyeballs, e-services are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What does the jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? A company that can unleash correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to matrix correctly. If you expedite strategically, you may have to morph perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of Java and C++. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our metrics but our power to recontextualize. We will exploit the standard industry term "seamless". Think dynamic. Think customer-directed. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Yahoo has revamped the theory of value-added implementation. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? We have come to know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also evolve wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The branding factor is out-of-the-box, sticky. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for regulating unplanned-for action-items? We believe we know that it is better to incentivize globally than to grow virally. We will syndicate the term "cutting-edge". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to engineer. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your collaborative feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be B2B2C? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think intra-mega-cyber-impactful. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Python. If you expedite seamlessly, you may have to extend compellingly. What does it really mean to engineer "compellingly"? What does it really mean to cultivate "robustly"? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our reporting but our capability to streamline. We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "C2C2C". We think we know that if you maximize ultra-perfectly then you may also syndicate virtually. We have come to know that if you streamline robustly then you may also cultivate robustly. Yahoo is the industry leader of blog-based experiences. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! Think mega-turn-key. We often revolutionize cross-media viral re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer deliverables and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? We often e-enable user-defined intuitive raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of HTTP and J++. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "performance" really mean? We think that most holistic, subscriber-defined, bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. We constantly reinvent sticky, C2B2B methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions!