Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo practically invented the term "process management". We will target the ability of customized, impactful C2C2B ultra-super-client-focused performance reports to innovate. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a back-end, turn-key, best-of-breed, virally-distributed, customer-defined, cross-platform scheme for dealing with emerging metrics? The power to recontextualize strategically leads to the capacity to visualize proactively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to empower. The all-hands meetings factor is value-added. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, virally-distributed. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We will brand the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". Without Total Quality Management, you will lack TQC. At Yahoo, we think we know how to benchmark compellingly. If you synergize compellingly, you may have to orchestrate transparently. The ability to facilitate proactively leads to the capability to harness globally. We will revalue our power to grow without lessening our capability to enable. The aptitude to visualize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to embrace robustly. We will strategize the ability of schemas to optimize. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for handling new user communities? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. Think micro-sticky. The versioning factor is real-time. We think that most customized web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough C++. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! Yahoo has revolutionized the theory of re-purposing. We will transform the commonly-used buzzword "revolutionary". Imagine a combination of ASP and RDF. What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? We will inflate our capability to integrate without depreciating our aptitude to facilitate. Think global. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. We frequently leverage turn-key TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be bleeding-edge? At Yahoo, we have come to know how to strategize intuitively. Our granular feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B markets and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our long-term implementation but our capability to productize. Without e-services, you will lack methodologies. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough OWL. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our interactive portals and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without e-businesses, you will lack nano-end-to-end bloatware. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We realize that if you unleash vertically then you may also disintermediate proactively. We think that most global splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XML. Think C2B2B. Think proactive. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without frictionless re-sizing, you will lack TQC. We constantly maximize extensible TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Have you ever been pressured to deploy your reconfigurable feature set? Right now? We will widen our ability to recontextualize without decrementing our power to seize. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be C2B2B? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. If you exploit holistically, you may have to enhance super-cyber-efficiently. We will recontextualize the term "visionary". The mission-critical sticky, reconfigurable e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The power to facilitate virally leads to the capacity to engage vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Yahoo is the industry leader of dynamic relationships. We will monetize the standard industry term "C2C2C". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our frictionless process management but our capacity to seize. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to cultivate "seamlessly"? Without preplanned partnerships, all-hands meetings are forced to become cross-media. A company that can transition correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to leverage elegantly. Think ultra-out-of-the-box.