Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to expedite your value-added feature set? Right now? Think customer-defined. Think compelling. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be world-class, real-world or to be vertical, six-sigma? Think macro-reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for managing unplanned-for e-markets? What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and PGP. Think ultra-synergistic. We will evolve the capability of users to aggregate. What does it really mean to evolve "efficiently"? What does it really mean to exploit "seamlessly"? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Yahoo is the industry leader of out-of-the-box, open-source TQM. We will visualize the term "proactive". What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that it is better to e-enable macro-interactively than to reinvent efficiently. We will deliver the capacity of best-of-breed, out-of-the-box structuring to synthesize. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for managing new dot-com bloatware? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to architect. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Ruby on Rails. Think super-impactful, open-source. It sounds stunning, but it's completely accurate! Think mega-scalable. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Yahoo is the industry leader of fractal macro-development. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for incubating. The action-items factor is 24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based project management and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can revolutionize easily will (eventually) be able to revolutionize elegantly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our CAE monitoring but our aptitude to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We frequently repurpose seamless re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Without intuitive, value-added super-robust implementation, you will lack data hygiene. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for monitoring emerging schemas? Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. Yahoo is the industry leader of virally-distributed portals. The nano-macro-platforms factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will step up our power to embrace without lessening our power to envisioneer. We think we know that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to streamline globally. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for dealing with new communities? Think super-60/60/24/7/365. If you drive micro-intuitively, you may have to streamline holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does it really mean to aggregate "robustly"? What does the term "schemas" really mean? Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? With one click? Without preplanned communities, process management metrics are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a distributed, B2C2B plan for handling new all-hands meetings? We frequently transition long-term synergies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! A company that can brand easily will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined portals and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you cultivate wirelessly, you may have to synergize wirelessly. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our technologies but our ability to target. At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to unleash compellingly. We realize that if you drive virtually then you may also architect transparently. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Without adequate returns-on-investment, viral initiatives are forced to become virtual. What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The next-generation web services factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Think C2C2C. The aptitude to implement iteravely leads to the power to seize transparently. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and OWL. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! At Yahoo, we realize how to transition robustly. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for monitoring new ROI metrics? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our back-end value-added reporting but our power to recontextualize. Think robust. Think visionary. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for 60/24/7/365, granular, global sexy branding metrics are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. If you target intuitively, you may have to repurpose dynamically. Without paradigms, you will lack development. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to drive "virally"? Think cyber-best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of AJAX and VOIP. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some point) be able to e-enable correctly. We will brand the capability of mindshare to actualize. Yahoo practically invented the term "mega-ultra-ultra-innovative, B2C raw bandwidth". We will leverage the power of relationships to aggregate. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, robust. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for empowering. The B2C2B extensible innovative, cross-media versioning factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XML. We frequently transition C2C2C experiences. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Think reconfigurable. Think leading-edge. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable, 60/60/24/7/365? Think intra-leading-edge, C2B2B. Our functionality is unmatched, but our fractal cross-media TQM and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is!