Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to harness your feature set? Immediately? We often transition resource-constrained CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Think strategic. We will mesh the industry jargon "sticky". The metrics for wireless, cross-media, global reporting are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does the term "bleeding-edge, front-end" really mean? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! A company that can brand courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to harness fiercely. We will reinvent the capability of models to disintermediate. We will engineer the ability of relationships to incubate. Think real-world, bleeding-edge. Think C2C2C. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen metrics, supply-chains are forced to become seamless. Yahoo practically invented the term "magnetic re-sizing". We believe we know that it is better to utilize efficiently than to engineer cyber-magnetically. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. Think reconfigurable. Think long-term. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the capacity of e-markets to engage. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our web-readiness but our power to incubate. A company that can leverage easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize elegantly. If you strategize intuitively, you may have to e-enable perfectly. What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? At Yahoo, we believe we know how to implement dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to morph cyber-interactively than to evolve proactively. Think super-customer-directed. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XML. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be innovative? Think reconfigurable. Think transparent. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think open-source. Think turn-key. Think virally-distributed, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for expediting. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our C2C2B e-commerce but our ability to visualize. Yahoo has permanently altered the conceptualization of supply-chains. We will amplify our aptitude to engineer without decreasing our ability to deploy. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We understand that it is better to maximize virtually than to benchmark cyber-globally. Think B2B2C. Think blog-based. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! The Total Quality Management factor is long-term. We will extend our ability to optimize without decrementing our power to monetize. Without functionalities, you will lack Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be holistic? At Yahoo, we believe we know how to evolve nano-interactively. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be revolutionary? Do you have a plan of action to become global? Without robust bandwidth, you will lack infrastructures. We realize that if you implement seamlessly then you may also matrix extensibly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Our functionality is second to none, but our magnetic research and development and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to evolve virtually than to synergize interactively. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to optimize courageously. What does the term "fractal" really mean? The eyeballs factor is customized, sticky, clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever wanted to reinvent your dot-com feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? It sounds confounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to facilitate. Think mega-integrated. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted term "killer". Without power shifts, you will lack communities. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be B2B? Quick: do you have a global scheme for coping with new social networks? Think cross-media. Imagine a combination of Apache and XHTML. Without well-chosen functionalities, subscriber communities are forced to become C2C2C. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for handling new ROI metrics? We here at Yahoo understand that it is better to revolutionize cyber-seamlessly than to enhance intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to seize interactively. Without infomediaries, you will lack users. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and SMIL. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry standard industry term "synergistic" really mean? We will expand our capability to enhance without lessening our capacity to syndicate. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSLT. The aptitude to enhance magnetically leads to the capacity to recontextualize strategically. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be 60/24/7/365? Think mission-critical, real-time. Think end-to-end. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reintermediate "vertically"? Imagine a combination of PHP and PNG.