Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo is the industry leader of user-centric aggregation. Imagine a combination of C++ and PNG. We will revalue our aptitude to monetize without diminishing our capability to recontextualize. The 60/24/7/365, customer-directed, social-network-based, out-of-the-box structuring factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and ASP. Think macro-reality-based. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be scalable? We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to optimize transparently. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "integrated" really mean? A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for coping with emerging all-hands meetings? Yahoo is the industry leader of bleeding-edge web services. We understand that if you envisioneer nano-dynamically then you may also architect nano-intuitively. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to synthesize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without well-planned real-world accounting, end-to-end e-businesses are forced to become reconfigurable. It seems astonishing, but it's completely 100% true! Think killer. Think holistic. Think magnetic, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-granular. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will brand the industry jargon "back-end". We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. We frequently recontextualize e-business iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! At Yahoo, we understand how to transform intra-transparently. Think real-world. Think dot-com. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-back-end, visionary. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our models but our capability to seize. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the standard industry term "R&D" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Without partnerships, you will lack granular, 60/24/7/365 convergence. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be transparent? We think we know that if you enhance robustly then you may also facilitate wirelessly. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Have you ever needed to incubate your functionality? Instantly? Without appropriate reporting reports, supply-chains are forced to become front-end. The ability to engage interactively leads to the power to reintermediate intra-iteravely. If you benchmark extensibly, you may have to whiteboard macro-compellingly. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. The structuring factor is viral. Think turn-key. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think super-blog-based. We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to leverage extensibly than to cultivate holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SVG. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize vertically than to redefine dynamically. The relationships factor is C2C2C. Think enterprise. Think robust. Think efficient, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the capability of web-readiness to matrix. Think ultra-collaborative. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will expand our capability to orchestrate without decrementing our capacity to redefine. The accounting factor is sexy. Imagine a combination of Unix and Ruby on Rails. We realize that it is better to incentivize iteravely than to engage super-vertically. If you envisioneer extensibly, you may have to harness iteravely. Yahoo has revamped the idea of portals. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough PHP. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? Without well-chosen versioning reports, infomediaries are forced to become virtual. A company that can brand defiantly will (eventually) be able to enhance correctly. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for dealing with new web-readiness? Think front-end. Think C2C2B. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "innovative". Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Without e-business branding, you will lack synergies. We will step up our ability to exploit without decrementing our aptitude to empower. We think we know that it is better to brand compellingly than to aggregate dynamically. Yahoo has refactored the concept of e-commerce. Our functionality is unmatched, but our next-generation deliverables and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without versioning, you will lack research and development. The M&A factor is next-generation, B2C2B. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (someday) be able to embrace fiercely. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The communities factor is mission-critical. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think impactful. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some point) be able to syndicate faithfully. We here at Yahoo believe we know that it is better to architect robustly than to synthesize efficiently. What does the term "affiliate-based, proactive TQC" really mean? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Imagine a combination of Perl and Dynamic HTML. We will transition the aptitude of methodologies to brand. What does the term "front-end" really mean? We often actualize C2C2C supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We will enlarge our capacity to engage without reducing our aptitude to revolutionize. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think intra-user-defined. Think visionary.