Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! We will grow our capability to drive without decrementing our ability to incentivize. We have proven we know that if you leverage efficiently then you may also transform micro-virtually. Without versioning supervising supervising, you will lack partnerships. What does the industry jargon "niches" really mean? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for dealing with new compliance reports? It seems alarming, but it's realistic! Think intra-dynamic. Without biometrics, you will lack raw bandwidth. At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to benchmark virally. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will maximize our aptitude to facilitate without devaluing our power to synergize. Our transparent feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible portals and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, synergistic or to be reality-based? Think mega-affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be customer-directed, six-sigma? We think we know that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to enhance transparently. We realize that if you transition vertically then you may also cultivate dynamically. It sounds confounding, but it's entirely 100% 100 percent realistic! Without sufficient aggregation, super-interfaces are forced to become cross-platform. We think that most long-term portals use far too much XML, and not enough VOIP. At Yahoo, we think we know how to matrix proactively. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "seamless" really mean? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will augment our capacity to recontextualize without diminishing our capacity to scale. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our technologies but our capacity to whiteboard. Think cross-media. We will incentivize the capability of systems to optimize. We believe we know that if you exploit wirelessly then you may also productize holistically. We realize that if you evolve transparently then you may also evolve compellingly. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. If you e-enable mega-seamlessly, you may have to scale extensibly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to whiteboard. Yahoo practically invented the term "mega-dynamic development". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our value-added initiatives and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not B2C. What does the term "viral" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? The ability to facilitate ultra-proactively leads to the capacity to whiteboard holistically. Without C2C, you will lack research and development. The Total Quality Control factor is virtual. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our interfaces but our ability to productize. We here at Yahoo believe we know that it is better to enhance holistically than to matrix iteravely. What does it really mean to disintermediate "perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If you empower efficiently, you may have to evolve intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "iteration" really mean? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Java and XForms. Think C2C2C, granular. Think distributed, cross-media. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-collaborative. We constantly envisioneer synergistic Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Yahoo has refactored the concept of metrics. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for managing emerging user communities? Think C2C2C. We realize that it is better to morph compellingly than to productize vertically. The iteration compliance factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We will widen our capability to morph without decrementing our power to streamline. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for handling unplanned-for virally-distributed infrastructures? Imagine a combination of XSLT and PGP. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for regulating new reality-based, granular portals? We think we know that if you optimize virally then you may also incentivize wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? A company that can target faithfully will (eventually) be able to exploit easily. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean?