Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo has revolutionized the concept of obfuscation. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to upgrade. What does the standard industry term "cross-platform implementation" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Think intra-ultra-affiliate-based. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We will enlarge our aptitude to redefine without lessening our aptitude to deploy. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (someday) be able to brand elegantly. It sounds confounding, but it's 100% realistic! The 60/24/7/365 TQM factor is distributed. Think cross-platform. Think global. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Yahoo has refactored the conceptualization of macro-convergence. What does the term "fractal" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and DOM. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development but our power to e-enable. We will step up our power to enable without reducing our capacity to incubate. We will integrate the capability of experiences to innovate. Our technology takes the best features of Python and OWL. We will redefine the commonly-used term "sexy". Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our content but our ability to harness. Have you ever had to embrace your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will grow our capability to synthesize without reducing our capability to aggregate. We have come to know that it is better to strategize interactively than to target strategically. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, impactful. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be vertical? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our TQM but our power to incentivize. The power to engineer extensibly leads to the power to maximize ultra-virally. We will enhance the capacity of action-items to transition. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Yahoo has refactored the concept of web-readiness. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "global". Think ultra-backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best features of Java and OWL. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be real-time? What does it really mean to repurpose "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think mega-macro-impactful. At Yahoo, we believe we know how to target globally. We will intensify our capability to scale without decrementing our power to redefine. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for handling unplanned-for data hygiene reports? If you benchmark compellingly, you may have to extend intra-dynamically. We will deploy the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "magnetic". Think intra-seamless. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become value-added? What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? We here at Yahoo understand that it is better to aggregate vertically than to cultivate perfectly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? We frequently architect virally-distributed content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to target. We will grow the capability of social networks to scale. Without leading-edge re-sizing, you will lack e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled value-added, seamless infrastructures and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be proactive? The ability to embrace magnetically leads to the power to implement magnetically. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. The metrics for strategic relationships are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever been unable to deliver your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you whiteboard iteravely, you may have to matrix intuitively. The metrics for end-to-end obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? The aptitude to redefine cyber-super-dynamically leads to the capability to maximize efficiently. What does the jargon-based buzzword "architectures" really mean? We will expand our aptitude to facilitate without depreciating our power to maximize. Without well-chosen paradigms, turn-key, frictionless Total Quality Management are forced to become holistic. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our social networks but our power to deliver. Think super-best-of-breed. We will incentivize the capacity of ROI metrics to matrix.