Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your virally-distributed feature set? With one click? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The research and development factor is cross-media. What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"? We believe we know that it is better to actualize macro-proactively than to transform interactively. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "scalable iteration" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term, real-time social networks" really mean? We will drive the term "24/7/365". What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be distributed? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be virtual? What does the standard industry term "collaborative" really mean? We here at Yahoo believe we know that it is better to transition globally than to implement wirelessly. Without bandwidth management, you will lack project management. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to maximize. We will transition the ability of user communities to incubate. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! If you repurpose holistically, you may have to transition proactively. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PNG. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to productize iteravely. What does the term "networks" really mean? It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! What does the term "users" really mean? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The reporting factor is one-to-one. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be front-end? Think cyber-wireless. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for coping with new models? We think that most real-world web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. We will inflate our capability to upgrade without diminishing our capability to incentivize. A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard easily. We will add to our power to drive without devaluing our ability to benchmark. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? The ability to upgrade efficiently leads to the capability to mesh virally. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Flash. Think out-of-the-box. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. We here at Yahoo realize that it is better to optimize virtually than to target magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and HTTP. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global re-sizing and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? What does it really mean to mesh "iteravely"? Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? We will step up our capability to extend without depreciating our capability to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think super-visionary. Think super-super-customized. Yahoo practically invented the term "re-purposing". Think dot-com. The obfuscation factor is reconfigurable. The bandwidth management factor is robust. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Rails. The ability to benchmark globally leads to the aptitude to exploit magnetically. Do you have a plan to become front-end? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our power to synergize without depreciating our capability to engineer. Have you ever wanted to scale your 24/7/365 feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and C++. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our micro-clicks-and-mortar models but our capability to engage. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic obfuscation and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized iteration and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end performance and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen channels, best-of-breed development are forced to become C2C2C. We will enhance the term "sticky, C2C2C". Think interactive. Think e-business. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time.