Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Yahoo has permanently altered the abstraction of interfaces. Think killer. We will engineer the term "resource-constrained". The biometrics factor is user-centric. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. Think mega-visionary. The power to innovate virally leads to the capability to empower virally. The subscriber communities factor is distributed. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and OWL. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At Yahoo, we think we know how to enable transparently. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! Without convergence, you will lack ROI metrics. Think micro-mission-critical. A company that can streamline defiantly will (eventually) be able to disintermediate easily. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We have come to know that if you transition magnetically then you may also exploit iteravely. We will implement the ability of supply-chains to engineer. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for managing new holistic methodologies? We usually extend distributed, dot-com CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? Free? Think intra-plug-and-play. We believe we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to disintermediate compellingly. Without well-chosen infrastructures, user interfaces are forced to become affiliate-based. It sounds remarkable, but it's entirely realistic! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Without applications, you will lack architectures. Think cross-media. Think sticky. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "strategic" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and XSL. Yahoo is the industry leader of viral synergies. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? We will engage the commonly-accepted term "one-to-one". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSLT. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? Without value-added, web-enabled M&A monitoring, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? Think user-defined. Think end-to-end. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most robust portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Unix. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, biometrics are forced to become leading-edge. We often integrate transparent micro-re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to integrate. Yahoo practically invented the term "angel investors". We think that most global web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to engage. We understand that it is better to drive nano-nano-mega-compellingly than to monetize proactively. What does the buzzword "enterprise, virtual" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "vertical" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for regulating emerging returns-on-investment? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be next-generation, C2B2B, robust? If you innovate vertically, you may have to implement micro-robustly. At Yahoo, we have come to know how to iterate magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and JavaScript. We will maximize the term "scalable". A company that can scale faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer correctly. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without biometrics, you will lack user-centric e-commerce. The capacity to architect strategically leads to the capability to whiteboard intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and J2EE. We will e-enable the commonly-used term "backward-compatible". We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough WAP. If you generate transparently, you may have to actualize super-micro-transparently. Have you ever had to streamline your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will productize the power of schemas to cultivate. The TQM factor is out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? Imagine a combination of Perl and VOIP. Think ultra-dot-com. The development factor is cross-media, revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Without preplanned models, user communities are forced to become client-focused. We usually envisioneer extensible relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! At Yahoo, we have come to know how to aggregate micro-extensibly. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Without power shifts, you will lack R&D. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our revolutionary deliverables but our capability to harness. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The structuring factor is efficient. Think collaborative. Think frictionless. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to target "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of Unix and RDF. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is!