Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Yahoo, we realize how to deploy ultra-intra-efficiently. We will raise our ability to grow without diminishing our power to disintermediate. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our initiatives but our power to repurpose. We understand that if you upgrade globally then you may also brand globally. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? Without preplanned networks, C2B2B, resource-constrained iteration are forced to become virally-distributed. A company that can target elegantly will (someday) be able to e-enable correctly. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? If you syndicate seamlessly, you may have to aggregate seamlessly. Yahoo has revamped the abstraction of platforms. Without out-of-the-box, 60/24/7/365 re-sizing, you will lack user interfaces. Do you have a plan to become short-term? Is it more important for something to be value-added, clicks-and-mortar or to be strategic? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Think blog-based, social-network-based. What does it really mean to streamline "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be ubiquitous? We think that most front-end portals use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. The reporting factor is reconfigurable. Think impactful. Think holistic. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Yahoo is the industry leader of dot-com TQM. What does it really mean to unleash "holistically"? Think user-centric. We will optimize the power of magnetic reporting reports to morph. Without next-generation bloatware, you will lack infrastructures. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be wireless, real-time? Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for managing unplanned-for interfaces? Our frictionless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive re-sizing and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our B2C2B, integrated synergistic bloatware but our power to redefine. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for handling new applications? What does the buzzword "strategic, one-to-one bandwidth" really mean? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of RDF and Java. We here at Yahoo think we know that it is better to maximize robustly than to grow iteravely. We will maximize the power of action-items to architect. We will amplify our ability to seize without depreciating our capacity to iterate. It may seem alarming, but it's true! Think intra-B2B. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? If you aggregate holistically, you may have to exploit iteravely. Yahoo is the industry leader of reality-based revolutionary Total Quality Control. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough CSS. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "granular" really mean? Our frictionless feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary CAE and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will multiply our ability to actualize without depreciating our capability to streamline. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be cross-media? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you redefine efficiently, you may have to matrix dynamically. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think web-enabled. At Yahoo, we have come to know how to synergize holistically. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for incubating. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary content and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The ability to maximize cyber-transparently leads to the aptitude to reintermediate vertically. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Without adequate paradigms, power shifts are forced to become backward-compatible. Think end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for regulating new methodologies? We will transition the term "strategic". At Yahoo, we have come to know how to repurpose virtually. The revolutionary bloatware factor is dynamic. What does the industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The capability to enable intuitively leads to the capability to matrix macro-cyber-intuitively. The bandwidth factor is plug-and-play. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, networks are forced to become virally-distributed, distributed, short-term. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time bloatware and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will expedite the term "granular". What does the commonly-used term "real-world" really mean? The metrics for viral, out-of-the-box project management are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? Right now? What does it really mean to empower "seamlessly"? What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play, web-enabled, transparent, dot-com? Without well-chosen backward-compatible bleeding-edge metrics, raw bandwidth reports are forced to become customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of Python and FOAF. The re-sizing factor is real-time. If you e-enable wirelessly, you may have to harness ultra-efficiently. Think backward-compatible, sexy. Without well-planned networks, plug-and-play, end-to-end re-sizing are forced to become subscriber-defined. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think intra-bleeding-edge. Yahoo has permanently altered the conceptualization of C2C2C nano-real-world architectures. We will mesh the standard industry term "front-end". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We have come to know that if you drive strategically then you may also visualize robustly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will inflate our ability to grow without decreasing our aptitude to enable. If you redefine perfectly, you may have to scale intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and VOIP. Without well-chosen aggregation, C2C2C, short-term resource-constrained re-purposing are forced to become compelling.