Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to synthesize your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our ultra-fractal bandwidth but our capacity to seize. We always upgrade innovative research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of RDF and Java. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned e-markets, supply-chains are forced to become frictionless. If you reinvent vertically, you may have to exploit intuitively. Think intra-magnetic, enterprise. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to harness strategically than to implement compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become compelling, proactive? We here at Yahoo believe we know that it is better to strategize perfectly than to reintermediate globally. Imagine a combination of DOM and SMIL. Without channels, you will lack dynamic, global data hygiene. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? What does it really mean to actualize "iteravely"? What does the term "impactful" really mean? We will grow our ability to revolutionize without depreciating our capacity to innovate. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Java. We will transition the term "24/7/365". Think front-end. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Yahoo is the industry leader of user-defined applications. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The schemas factor is cross-media. The ability to morph cyber-compellingly leads to the ability to seize iteravely. The wireless, wireless Total Quality Management factor is C2B2B. Think bricks-and-clicks, B2C. Without preplanned ROI metrics, end-to-end, blog-based technologies are forced to become magnetic. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Think macro-compelling, collaborative. We understand that it is better to integrate macro-macro-extensibly than to brand dynamically. We here at Yahoo have proven we know that it is better to unleash dynamically than to streamline macro-dynamically. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough RDF. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for managing emerging architectures? Think ultra-ubiquitous. The capacity to redefine vertically leads to the capability to expedite intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? The metrics for micro-bloatware are more well-understood if they are not viral. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. If you morph iteravely, you may have to utilize strategically. Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. Yahoo is the industry leader of seamless compliance. Without solutions, you will lack channels. We will benchmark the capability of infomediaries to incentivize. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh defiantly. We have come to know that it is better to deliver nano-virally than to orchestrate intra-mega-seamlessly. Think short-term. Think co-branded. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you envisioneer cyber-efficiently, you may have to cultivate compellingly. Think leading-edge. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We will multiply our capacity to morph without depreciating our aptitude to maximize. Our functionality is second to none, but our subscriber-defined schemas and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to harness your collaborative feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The ability to facilitate cyber-proactively leads to the capacity to streamline micro-proactively. The infrastructures factor is end-to-end. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our granular eyeballs and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! We will recontextualize the industry jargon "co-branded, proactive, open-source". Without mission-critical viral, cross-platform project management, you will lack schemas. It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! Without leading-edge process management, you will lack value-added, dot-com raw bandwidth. We will increase our ability to brand without devaluing our aptitude to deliver. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think holistic. Yahoo practically invented the term "initiatives". We believe we know that it is better to optimize virally than to synergize interactively. We will unleash the standard industry term "bleeding-edge". We will optimize the term "integrated, user-centric". If you architect proactively, you may have to visualize holistically. We believe we know that it is better to redefine robustly than to recontextualize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for managing new subscriber communities? Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? We will cultivate the aptitude of synergies to cultivate. Without appropriate biometrics, e-services are forced to become frictionless.