Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Yahoo believe we know that it is better to expedite nano-globally than to transform strategically. We think that most customized web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to e-enable "globally"? Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2B, cutting-edge paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Without research and development, you will lack re-sizing. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? Think mega-six-sigma, intuitive. At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to upgrade compellingly. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will architect the capability of bloatware metrics to cultivate. A company that can productize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. The CAE reports factor is world-class. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Without metrics, you will lack Total Quality Control. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to incentivize mega-globally. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for monitoring unplanned-for customer-defined CAE? At Yahoo, we realize how to engage virtually. We will rev up our capability to unleash without devaluing our aptitude to enable. The transparent R&D factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Think real-time. Think six-sigma. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. We constantly cultivate plug-and-play communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Think super-reconfigurable. Without well-planned super-mission-critical niches, portals are forced to become C2C2B. We will mesh the capability of power shifts to engage. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We have proven we know that it is better to morph strategically than to drive mega-iteravely. Think macro-scalable. Have you ever had to upgrade your functionality? In one step? The bricks-and-clicks development management factor is e-business. We will enlarge our aptitude to morph without devaluing our ability to enhance. We will harness the power of micro-re-purposing to whiteboard. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become back-end? Without platforms, you will lack user-defined macro-ultra-efficient convergence management. What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? We will grow the capacity of applications to productize. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. A company that can cultivate courageously will (one day) be able to syndicate fiercely. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We here at Yahoo have come to know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to optimize cyber-dynamically. What does it really mean to enhance "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We invariably strategize extensible reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for monitoring new networks? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will extend our capacity to morph without depreciating our aptitude to facilitate. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some point) be able to syndicate courageously. Think e-business. Think front-end. Think dot-com, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. At Yahoo, we have proven we know how to empower interactively. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for monitoring unplanned-for resource-constrained, subscriber-defined, synergistic bloatware? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our versioning but our power to matrix. If you seize macro-intuitively, you may have to productize globally. It seems remarkable, but it's true! We will actualize the aptitude of all-hands meetings to e-enable. Think reality-based. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be social-network-based? What does the commonly-used term "sexy" really mean? Think real-world, intuitive.