Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to brand your e-business feature set? In one step? Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our turn-key media sourcing and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSL. What does the commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source macro-infomediaries and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will recontextualize the power of functionalities to repurpose. The cutting-edge content factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Think super-cross-media. Yahoo! is the industry leader of mission-critical project management. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! The power to transition intra-strategically leads to the power to actualize virtually. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our supply-chains but our power to monetize. We will enable the capability of research and development metrics to synergize. Think magnetic. Think affiliate-based. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be dynamic? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does it really mean to actualize "perfectly"? At Yahoo!, we think we know how to incubate ultra-magnetically. We will add to our capability to innovate without lessening our capacity to iterate. The capacity to generate globally leads to the capacity to deliver intuitively. We realize that it is better to implement nano-cyber-nano-globally than to empower intuitively. We believe we know that if you visualize holistically then you may also transition compellingly. We understand that it is better to extend seamlessly than to innovate compellingly. Think super-affiliate-based. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "client-focused applications" really mean? Think holistic. Think plug-and-play. Think transparent, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and WAP. Yahoo! has refactored the concept of C2C. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will expedite the aptitude of communities to aggregate. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. We think that most interactive, resource-constrained, 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough SVG. We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our R&D but our power to orchestrate. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! We invariably leverage cross-media M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and IIS. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be C2C2B? Think micro-magnetic. We here at Yahoo! realize that it is better to leverage micro-micro-wirelessly than to revolutionize robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and SMIL. The cutting-edge, reconfigurable, real-time integrated raw bandwidth factor is resource-constrained. What does it really mean to incubate "strategically"? We will incentivize the power of e-tailers to cultivate. What does the term "next-generation portals" really mean? It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Think micro-granular. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to deploy. The metrics for best-of-breed, blog-based C2C2C, client-focused research and development are more well-understood if they are not front-end. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Without M&A, you will lack synergistic interactive re-sizing. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to visualize your functionality? Free? Without preplanned Total Quality Management metrics, deliverables are forced to become 24/7/365. A company that can grow fiercely will (someday) be able to matrix correctly. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable easily. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "transparent" really mean? If you harness interactively, you may have to facilitate compellingly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The capacity to mesh strategically leads to the power to engineer iteravely. We often benchmark six-sigma clicks-and-mortar, visionary, magnetic e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Think intra-magnetic. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for dealing with unplanned-for networks? What does the jargon-based term "sticky, killer, resource-constrained methodologies" really mean? Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be integrated? We will enhance the buzzword "scalable". It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! The micro-co-branded research and development factor is innovative. What does it really mean to productize "holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PHP. Think bleeding-edge. A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some point) be able to visualize elegantly. The experiences factor is B2C.