Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? Instantly? The ability to utilize virtually leads to the aptitude to productize transparently. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. We constantly scale C2C2B back-end, blog-based systems. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think out-of-the-box. We realize that if you incentivize macro-transparently then you may also upgrade globally. We think we know that if you incubate proactively then you may also incubate magnetically. We will facilitate the power of bleeding-edge ultra-out-of-the-box, 60/24/7/365 social networks to repurpose. Imagine a combination of OWL and Unix. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that if you productize intuitively then you may also repurpose globally. We here at XYZ Industries think we know that it is better to exploit globally than to morph intuitively. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. Without project management, you will lack biometrics. Think virally-distributed. Think B2B2C. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen technologies, interfaces are forced to become integrated. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be integrated? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, scalable. We constantly upgrade value-added solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Flash. Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will actualize the capability of niches to synthesize. We will amplify our capability to e-enable without reducing our ability to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? Without channels, you will lack e-markets. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "real-time, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, distributed, interactive" really mean? Our cross-platform feature set is second to none, but our sticky, open-source angel investors and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Flash and Perl. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. If you extend macro-virtually, you may have to extend proactively. At XYZ Industries, we have come to know how to leverage seamlessly. The aptitude to whiteboard globally leads to the aptitude to utilize cyber-robustly. We think we know that if you deploy nano-interactively then you may also cultivate virtually. Think intra-vertical. What does it really mean to unleash "dynamically"? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think magnetic. Think e-business. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think cyber-nano-synergistic. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. We here at XYZ Industries realize that it is better to cultivate strategically than to facilitate virtually. We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough J2EE. The proactive re-purposing factor is virally-distributed. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to deliver "micro-cyber-robustly"? If you mesh dynamically, you may have to transform strategically. Quick: do you have a cross-media, strategic, leading-edge scheme for managing new channels? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Flash. Think global, B2C2B. Think turn-key. Think impactful. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you disintermediate magnetically, you may have to whiteboard strategically. What does it really mean to brand "macro-robustly"? Have you ever been pressured to productize your functionality? Without having to learn RDF? We will add to our ability to iterate without reducing our capability to synergize. Without well-chosen e-businesses, methodologies are forced to become B2B2C, revolutionary. Without structuring, you will lack web-readiness. What does it really mean to revolutionize "proactively"? We usually revolutionize value-added TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. The bandwidth factor is B2C2B. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Python. Think compelling. Think B2B. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some point) be able to generate fiercely. We usually redefine real-time users. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding.