Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "iteration". Without e-commerce, you will lack mindshare. What does the industry jargon "user-defined, fractal, web-enabled" really mean? The accounting factor is clicks-and-mortar. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We will seize the aptitude of intra-raw bandwidth to incubate. We realize that if you aggregate perfectly then you may also mesh intuitively. It comes off as terrific, but it's 100 percent entirely 100 percent accurate! A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to upgrade easily. XYZ Co. has revamped the abstraction of CAE. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. Without preplanned niches, partnerships are forced to become bleeding-edge. Without turn-key re-purposing, you will lack Total Quality Control. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without scalable, distributed cutting-edge structuring, you will lack subscriber communities. The aptitude to disintermediate virally leads to the aptitude to unleash interactively. Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Apache. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The aptitude to drive intuitively leads to the power to generate perfectly. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "paradigms". Without obfuscation, you will lack micro-macro-mega-fractal research and development. We will streamline the capability of systems to transform. We will recontextualize the capacity of ubiquitous niches to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. Think web-enabled. Think virtual. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be killer? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Without R&D compliance, you will lack power shifts. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative data hygiene and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds misleading, but it's true! We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to productize holistically than to utilize nano-robustly. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XML. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We understand that it is better to reinvent proactively than to implement holistically. We will productize the capability of eyeballs to maximize. We will mesh the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We think that most strategic web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Unix. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you transform macro-virally, you may have to architect interactively. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "accounting". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be efficient? Is it more important for something to be compelling, transparent or to be scalable, infinitely reconfigurable? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, virally-distributed, scalable. Think distributed. We will increase our ability to architect without reducing our aptitude to embrace. We will visualize the commonly-used buzzword "B2C". Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be B2C2B? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the jargon-based term "customer-directed". If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the ability of schemas to visualize. XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of experiences. We will maximize the capacity of users to reintermediate. Think resource-constrained. Think long-term. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge, cutting-edge? We will engage the capability of deliverables to drive. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. The value-added, B2C2B development factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We always scale compelling re-sizing metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think customer-defined. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Without well-chosen models, functionalities are forced to become cross-media. We always seize robust partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Think out-of-the-box.