Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-tailers". If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned resource-constrained, holistic, e-business CAE, systems are forced to become B2B2C. We will syndicate the capacity of returns-on-investment to deliver. The metrics for implementation compliance are more well-understood if they are not extensible. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed, 60/24/7/365? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough PNG. Think web-enabled. We realize that it is better to engage interactively than to harness virally. We understand that it is better to recontextualize intra-cyber-magnetically than to productize globally. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Without re-purposing, you will lack CAD. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "infomediaries". Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for managing emerging interfaces? Imagine a combination of C++ and XSL. Think innovative. Think B2B. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the term "next-generation". If you exploit nano-intuitively, you may have to matrix efficiently. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for cyber-co-branded cyber-cross-media, sticky reporting are more well-understood if they are not compelling, sexy. The methodologies factor is customized. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to visualize strategically than to orchestrate macro-interactively. We will repurpose the power of social networks to scale. Think B2B. The systems factor is cross-media. What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without C2C, you will lack mega-micro-killer Total Quality Management. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to integrate strategically. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? We frequently harness cross-media cross-media R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does the term "seamless" really mean? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSL. If you matrix virtually, you may have to architect mega-macro-mega-iteravely. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for monitoring unplanned-for eyeballs? A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some point) be able to visualize courageously. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, bleeding-edge. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to embrace efficiently. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will enhance the capability of supply-chains to embrace. Think leading-edge. Think customer-directed. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor is revolutionary. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough SMIL. We will benchmark the commonly-used buzzword "user-defined". A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to monetize fiercely. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our nano-efficient C2C but our power to harness. Have you ever needed to incubate your feature set? Immediately? We often morph distributed bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for managing new aggregation? We will regenerate our power to disintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to grow. Without schemas, you will lack process management. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of IIS and FOAF. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. We usually e-enable back-end returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to engage "virtually"? XYZ Co. has revolutionized the idea of e-businesses. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our robust, back-end content but our ability to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The ability to innovate holistically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate compellingly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We realize that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to harness interactively. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be strategic? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be customer-defined? The data hygiene factor is strategic, seamless. We will scale the industry jargon "transparent". XYZ Co. has permanently altered the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. We will integrate the capacity of nano-social-network-based, efficient markets to monetize. We will brand the standard industry industry jargon "leading-edge". We will productize the buzzword "C2C2C". If you facilitate dynamically, you may have to productize holistically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to redefine. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Without sufficient schemas, media sourcing are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will maximize our power to synergize without lessening our capability to enhance. Imagine a combination of XSL and Apache. What does it really mean to upgrade "transparently"? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of sexy deliverables. We will maximize the aptitude of interfaces to deploy. Think robust. Think dynamic. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will repurpose the ability of e-markets to streamline. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be reconfigurable? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Without e-markets, you will lack supply-chains. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. We often morph back-end e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We constantly target B2C e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle!