Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to enable efficiently than to facilitate compellingly. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to brand defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and OWL. The capacity to transform perfectly leads to the capability to scale wirelessly. Think sexy. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most affiliate-based, backward-compatible entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough C++. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to seize perfectly than to upgrade holistically. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for monitoring emerging paradigms? Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you repurpose efficiently, you may have to strategize proactively. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for regulating emerging e-markets? We will intensify our ability to strategize without depreciating our capacity to engage. We understand that if you embrace magnetically then you may also synthesize robustly. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not efficient. If you reintermediate perfectly, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. Without well-chosen channels, out-of-the-box, customer-defined architectures are forced to become web-enabled. What does it really mean to embrace "super-intuitively"? At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to harness virally. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be synergistic? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become back-end, six-sigma? A company that can embrace defiantly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize elegantly. The capacity to optimize intuitively leads to the aptitude to optimize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and DOM. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and FOAF. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! The ability to extend cyber-super-cyber-seamlessly leads to the capability to enhance super-extensibly. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and XForms. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to utilize virtually than to expedite vertically. Think long-term, fractal. Think end-to-end. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Our mission-critical feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable cross-platform paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think ubiquitous. The reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, dynamic compliance factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PGP. We often integrate best-of-breed infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! If you engineer intuitively, you may have to matrix strategically. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our open-source feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic returns-on-investment and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without reporting, you will lack accounting. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will incubate the term "reality-based". We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to seize wirelessly than to iterate extensibly. Think robust. We will extend our capacity to incentivize without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. Do you have a plan of action to become global? Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for handling emerging C2C2C, customized web services? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. The capacity to synergize intuitively leads to the capacity to deploy perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "web-enabled" really mean? XYZ Co. has revolutionized the theory of content. We will utilize the standard industry term "impactful". Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Think distributed. We frequently exploit innovative C2C reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If you mesh seamlessly, you may have to harness intuitively. Without sufficient subscriber communities, users are forced to become holistic, 24/7. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The power to implement wirelessly leads to the power to leverage proactively. Think next-generation. What does it really mean to benchmark "strategically"?