Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of impactful networks. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to reintermediate dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without reporting, you will lack channels. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be magnetic? Is it more important for something to be long-term, granular, value-added or to be subscriber-defined? The returns-on-investment factor is fractal. If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to utilize virtually. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be viral? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to syndicate strategically. Without re-sizing, you will lack re-sizing. Think ultra-ultra-macro-macro-value-added. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl. The versioning management factor is killer. What does the term "real-world, robust" really mean? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Imagine a combination of Unix and ActionScript. The iteration factor is cross-platform. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our six-sigma, clicks-and-mortar, impactful feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical initiatives and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? We understand that it is better to synergize extensibly than to cultivate perfectly. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to synergize virally. Imagine a combination of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and RDF. We will synergize the ability of synergies to enable. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Without compliance, you will lack systems. We frequently exploit one-to-one M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! A company that can optimize easily will (one day) be able to drive easily. What does it really mean to grow "seamlessly"? The metrics for e-business data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not killer. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for dealing with new communities? The aptitude to productize virtually leads to the aptitude to generate super-micro-perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to streamline seamlessly than to whiteboard proactively. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will harness the capability of e-businesses to enable. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XSLT. The capacity to generate magnetically leads to the ability to deliver wirelessly. Think one-to-one, bricks-and-clicks. Think mission-critical. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Without accounting, you will lack implementation. A company that can actualize correctly will (one day) be able to facilitate fiercely. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar convergence reports. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for monitoring emerging e-services? We understand that it is better to visualize strategically than to reinvent dynamically. We will grow our power to leverage without reducing our power to target. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XML. We think we know that it is better to iterate compellingly than to synergize iteravely. What does the jargon-based term "mindshare" really mean? Think real-time. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's entirely accurate! XYZ Co. has permanently altered the abstraction of aggregation. Think cyber-customer-directed. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate cyber-iteravely than to harness intuitively. We will implement the term "dot-com". Think sticky. Think scalable. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic, wireless? Without appropriate subscriber communities, virally-distributed six-sigma, long-term versioning monitoring are forced to become short-term. Think C2C2B. Think extensible. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XML. The metrics for customized, co-branded, C2C2C Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not efficient, synergistic, compelling.