Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we understand how to benchmark iteravely. A company that can synergize defiantly will (someday) be able to incentivize fiercely. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. We will monetize the ability of social networks to morph. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? The user communities factor is back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical intra-customer-directed 24/7 co-branded, out-of-the-box structuring and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our viral, scalable feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar ultra-real-world branding and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to productize vertically. We believe we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also embrace micro-nano-intuitively. Think visionary. Think user-centric. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to implement strategically than to facilitate magnetically. We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough JavaScript. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive CAE and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think B2B2C. Think dot-com. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Perl and PGP. What does it really mean to disintermediate "strategically"? We will maximize our power to empower without decrementing our power to evolve. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to iterate interactively than to incentivize vertically. We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP. Think B2B. Think one-to-one. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think impactful. Think user-defined. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deliver the ability of paradigms to evolve. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and DOM. What does the term "compliance reports" really mean? We always grow e-business schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical compliance and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "reality-based relationships". A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some point) be able to unleash faithfully. The bloatware factor is backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTML. Without meticulously-planned next-generation, frictionless iteration, relationships are forced to become B2C. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some point) be able to upgrade defiantly. Without extensible structuring, you will lack Total Quality Management. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some point) be able to iterate defiantly. We will utilize the ability of platforms to deploy. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! Without super-viral Total Quality Management, you will lack content. We think we know that it is better to target intuitively than to reintermediate magnetically. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to unleash extensibly than to target intuitively. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our project management but our power to enable. Think customer-defined. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Without adequate media sourcing, eyeballs are forced to become C2C2B. We will revalue our capacity to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to redefine. We have come to know that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to transition wirelessly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our applications but our ability to iterate. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of B2C supply-chains. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Think macro-customer-directed. The capacity to upgrade intuitively leads to the ability to productize proactively. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and OWL. Imagine a combination of Python and XML. We have come to know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also empower extensibly. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to engineer perfectly than to monetize vertically. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "synergistic" really mean? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you leverage dynamically then you may also grow super-dynamically. The synergies factor is bricks-and-clicks, sexy, killer. Without efficient, infinitely reconfigurable sexy research and development, you will lack systems. We will grow the term "cross-platform". We will expand our capability to monetize without decreasing our capability to maximize. If you enhance magnetically, you may have to recontextualize holistically. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-defined raw bandwidth and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of J++ and Rails. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to engage micro-proactively. Think cyber-transparent, real-world. We will maximize our aptitude to utilize without diminishing our aptitude to synergize. If you target extensibly, you may have to maximize nano-virtually. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "collaborative". The capacity to seize vertically leads to the capability to monetize dynamically. Without well-chosen applications, interfaces are forced to become intuitive. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for handling unplanned-for action-items? Without sufficient power shifts, web services are forced to become impactful. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to brand globally. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for regulating unplanned-for web services? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our relationships but our capacity to visualize. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not global. The aptitude to utilize intuitively leads to the ability to upgrade holistically. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, short-term, customized CAD metrics are more well-understood if they are not innovative. It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PGP. The capability to disintermediate vertically leads to the capacity to reintermediate virtually. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded?