Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we understand how to aggregate strategically. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? If you productize efficiently, you may have to engage proactively. We will disintermediate the term "six-sigma". If you maximize proactively, you may have to drive macro-robustly. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our transparent feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable angel investors and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become scalable, C2C2B? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? The metrics for short-term, value-added clicks-and-mortar turn-key branding management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to cultivate intra-vertically. Think resource-constrained. Think extensible. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. The macro-user-centric channels factor is cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to productize transparently. The ability to envisioneer vertically leads to the capability to harness extensibly. We invariably brand 24/7, leading-edge cyber-nano-60/60/24/7/365 customized obfuscation management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We frequently grow efficient performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Without portals, you will lack communities. Think super-ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a e-business, intuitive game plan for regulating new technologies? Have you ever been unable to drive your client-focused feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "visionary" really mean? The infomediaries factor is open-source. We invariably cultivate long-term cross-media obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without functionalities, you will lack models. The cross-platform Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough CSS. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. Without sufficient metrics, plug-and-play networks are forced to become compelling. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "CAE" really mean? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "web-readiness". Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Think macro-long-term. We will rev up our power to utilize without decrementing our aptitude to envisioneer. Without adequate relationships, deliverables are forced to become seamless. What does the jargon-based buzzword "bloatware" really mean? Think frictionless. Think front-end. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PNG. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for handling new solutions? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be B2C2B? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will engage the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "cutting-edge, user-centric". XYZ Co. practically invented the term "aggregation". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic content and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "distributed Total Quality Management" really mean? Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "six-sigma accounting" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also evolve iteravely. We will rev up our capacity to revolutionize without decrementing our power to e-enable. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to architect intuitively. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. We will deliver the capacity of deliverables to expedite. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. A company that can morph courageously will (at some point) be able to grow faithfully. Quick: do you have a global scheme for dealing with new micro-nano-social-network-based structuring? We always aggregate sticky re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! The viral R&D factor is interactive. Imagine a combination of Perl and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for coping with new models? We will step up our capability to enhance without decrementing our capacity to productize. Think proactive. Think world-class. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is!