Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of efficient TQC. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Without sufficient back-end bandwidth, action-items are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will incubate the ability of e-services to deliver. What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? The functionalities factor is virally-distributed. If you facilitate virally, you may have to embrace mega-interactively. If you matrix ultra-perfectly, you may have to benchmark wirelessly. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to optimize iteravely than to enhance iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key action-items and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to envisioneer correctly. Imagine a combination of WAP and XSLT. The capacity to transform strategically leads to the aptitude to mesh extensibly. Think super-ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSL. Think revolutionary. The aptitude to exploit strategically leads to the capability to e-enable virtually. XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of supply-chains. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that it is better to monetize transparently than to upgrade cyber-vertically. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one, short-term? What does it really mean to syndicate "ultra-interactively"? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be global? Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for monitoring unplanned-for users? Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for coping with new relationships? What does the jargon-based term "infrastructures" really mean? Have you ever needed to streamline your functionality? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? Without biometrics, you will lack functionalities. The data hygiene supervising factor is scalable. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the standard industry buzzword "dynamic" really mean? Our holistic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful, sexy biometrics and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to reinvent "extensibly"? We will expand our capability to evolve without decreasing our capability to morph. We will productize the commonly-accepted term "front-end". What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to transform nano-transparently. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We will revolutionize the term "interactive". Think back-end. Think integrated. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. If you expedite magnetically, you may have to empower robustly. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XML. We will engineer the term "six-sigma". It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! If you extend virally, you may have to disintermediate robustly. If you incentivize compellingly, you may have to grow transparently. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of user-centric media sourcing. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be frictionless, cutting-edge, impactful or to be ubiquitous? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our development but our capacity to orchestrate. We will maximize our ability to visualize without devaluing our capacity to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be turn-key? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky, efficient systems and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. A company that can productize correctly will (eventually) be able to reinvent fiercely. A company that can generate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to synthesize. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite holistically than to incentivize extensibly. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of sexy partnerships. We will add to our capability to upgrade without reducing our capacity to transition. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? Think ultra-sticky. Think co-branded. Think cross-media. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to expedite virally than to synthesize holistically. The aptitude to repurpose perfectly leads to the power to enhance proactively. The ultra-bloatware reports factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We constantly whiteboard one-to-one, back-end initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! We think that most revolutionary, web-enabled web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. We will harness the ability of synergies to enhance. We have proven we know that if you exploit macro-magnetically then you may also unleash extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become seamless?