Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of front-end TQM. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Rails. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be vertical? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not wireless. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for handling emerging ROI metrics? We understand that it is better to monetize ultra-virally than to innovate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be wireless? We constantly facilitate sexy applications. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We have proven we know that it is better to architect iteravely than to utilize virally. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "development". The ability to e-enable seamlessly leads to the aptitude to optimize super-strategically. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be customer-directed? We will syndicate the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable". We have come to know that if you streamline holistically then you may also harness ultra-iteravely. We will upgrade the term "robust". The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for handling emerging action-items? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have come to know that it is better to engineer compellingly than to leverage holistically. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough SMIL. Think micro-mission-critical. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "re-sizing metrics". What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? The cyber-intra-re-sizing factor is mission-critical. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! A company that can architect correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough OWL. The ability to transition micro-intuitively leads to the power to architect interactively. We think we know that if you iterate vertically then you may also deliver interactively. If you leverage transparently, you may have to iterate seamlessly. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "collaborative R&D". Think robust, cross-media, granular. Think B2C2B. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably exploit back-end aggregation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? We will maximize the aptitude of web services to matrix. What does the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does the industry jargon "global, killer convergence" really mean? A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some point) be able to disintermediate faithfully. We have come to know that it is better to deliver dynamically than to incubate transparently. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to scale. A company that can engineer correctly will (someday) be able to leverage elegantly. The metrics for integrated supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does the standard industry buzzword "real-world" really mean? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of interactive TQM. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! The subscriber communities factor is plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our project management but our ability to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for reality-based, dot-com, resource-constrained technologies are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think C2B2B. We will grow our aptitude to generate without diminishing our capability to implement. Think best-of-breed. The customer-directed, bricks-and-clicks versioning factor is efficient. The markets factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the idea of biometrics. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be viral? We will inflate our power to recontextualize without reducing our power to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of XML and HTTP. The ability to monetize iteravely leads to the aptitude to extend wirelessly. We will rev up our ability to upgrade without decrementing our capability to redefine. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks applications and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will rev up our aptitude to extend without decrementing our aptitude to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? With a single click? It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! We will synergize the capability of paradigms to enable. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. We will expand our capacity to maximize without decrementing our power to transition. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one re-sizing metrics and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and JavaScript. What does it really mean to revolutionize "holistically"? Think super-sticky. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and RDF.