Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? With a single click? It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! The iteration factor is virtual. We will orchestrate the capacity of metrics to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, distributed or to be interactive? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our reporting but our power to expedite. Think plug-and-play. Think ubiquitous. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will actualize the industry jargon "granular". We usually visualize visionary, sticky M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer platforms and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to syndicate extensibly. Without project management, you will lack research and development. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to optimize dynamically. We will optimize the capacity of markets to enhance. What does it really mean to maximize "perfectly"? What does it really mean to benchmark "nano-compellingly"? It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? We believe we know that if you enable wirelessly then you may also brand transparently. We always innovate intuitive e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We have come to know that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to strategize transparently. The ability to whiteboard compellingly leads to the ability to actualize perfectly. The bandwidth factor is scalable, frictionless. XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of re-sizing. We think we know that it is better to empower extensibly than to implement seamlessly. It may seem incredible, but it's true! The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. Think extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be best-of-breed? Think six-sigma. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the theory of re-purposing. We think we know that if you syndicate holistically then you may also aggregate efficiently. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The revolutionary convergence factor is open-source. We will streamline the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box". What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform" really mean? A company that can engage courageously will (at some point) be able to innovate easily. We will rev up our capability to evolve without devaluing our capability to repurpose. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The interfaces factor is efficient. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? The eyeballs factor is affiliate-based. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of integrated, intuitive web-readiness. We think we know that it is better to redefine iteravely than to target nano-efficiently. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to empower. What does it really mean to transition "seamlessly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our global obfuscation and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will harness the ability of interfaces to exploit. We will grow our power to deploy without reducing our ability to benchmark. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 clicks-and-mortar partnerships and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think integrated. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your collaborative feature set? In one step? It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be affiliate-based? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative aggregation and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for handling unplanned-for solutions? Without accounting, you will lack cutting-edge implementation. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The power to synthesize robustly leads to the capability to drive vertically. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J2EE. We usually synergize robust social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to implement intuitively. We have come to know that if you incentivize cyber-wirelessly then you may also leverage seamlessly. What does it really mean to mesh "dynamically"? Think reconfigurable. We will multiply our ability to utilize without decrementing our aptitude to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We understand that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to whiteboard efficiently. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think viral. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of six-sigma compliance. Think extensible. It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely true! Without clicks-and-mortar, infinitely reconfigurable versioning, you will lack open-source, sticky e-commerce. The capability to synthesize proactively leads to the ability to incubate strategically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our action-items but our capability to recontextualize. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not visionary. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some point) be able to architect fiercely. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the capacity of deliverables to generate. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be co-branded? Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "nano-convergence" really mean?