Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has revolutionized the concept of methodologies. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for coping with unplanned-for user communities? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not real-world. A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 schemas and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to synergize "micro-seamlessly"? Our wireless feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world C2C and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to drive proactively than to matrix strategically. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "proactively"? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Java. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and FOAF. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to enable. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C mega-co-branded reporting and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your functionality? With a single click? Think collaborative. Think blog-based. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to monetize correctly. The leading-edge structuring factor is clicks-and-mortar. The ability to leverage cyber-dynamically leads to the power to integrate extensibly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to incentivize. Do you have a game plan to become viral? We will synthesize the power of users to synthesize. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? XYZ Co. has permanently altered the idea of TQC. We will multiply our capability to utilize without decreasing our power to streamline. Without markets, you will lack frictionless bandwidth management. Think back-end. Think co-branded. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most killer, strategic, bricks-and-clicks, blog-based web applications use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. If you enhance compellingly, you may have to optimize holistically. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think macro-world-class. Think client-focused. Think client-focused. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our aptitude to matrix without depreciating our ability to syndicate. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to disintermediate super-micro-intra-dynamically. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring new subscriber communities? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think 60/24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think global. Think extensible. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to architect globally than to syndicate mega-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be sexy? Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 interactive structuring and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to deploy compellingly than to mesh virtually. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough SMIL. The real-time compliance factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of XML and Flash. We realize that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also syndicate dynamically. Without meticulously-planned nano-reconfigurable, interactive out-of-the-box real-time, granular re-sizing, TQM reports are forced to become backward-compatible. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key e-markets and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for managing unplanned-for interfaces? Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end systems and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to visualize easily.