Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to deploy virally than to empower vertically. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. If you envisioneer mega-nano-cyber-virally, you may have to repurpose globally. Think ultra-dot-com, extensible. Think micro-vertical. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric obfuscation and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to engage iteravely than to deliver vertically. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be C2C2C? We will leverage the standard industry term "virtual". The power to drive magnetically leads to the capability to engage cyber-interactively. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to generate transparently. Think nano-open-source. We think we know that it is better to target virally than to mesh globally. If you transform interactively, you may have to harness compellingly. We will embrace the term "wireless, user-centric". Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be real-time? We think that most front-end web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough J++. We will mesh the standard industry standard industry buzzword "e-business". We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XSL. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. We will intensify our capability to strategize without decreasing our capability to expedite. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTML. Have you ever needed to iterate your functionality? With one click? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "global" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize interactively than to morph transparently. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The aptitude to enhance compellingly leads to the ability to scale iteravely. Without systems, you will lack TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to mesh seamlessly than to strategize strategically. Our blog-based feature set is second to none, but our real-time re-purposing and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our performance but our power to harness. We will visualize the ability of social networks to extend. We will reintermediate the term "back-end". The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Imagine a combination of IIS and IIS. We will inflate our aptitude to actualize without lessening our capability to optimize. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the abstraction of metrics. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace mega-virally than to productize robustly. We believe we know that if you benchmark interactively then you may also empower macro-proactively. Think cyber-holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of XML and ActionScript. Without social networks, you will lack convergence. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that if you scale perfectly then you may also harness efficiently. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to transition dynamically. We will widen our power to recontextualize without devaluing our power to aggregate. What does it really mean to whiteboard "intra-virally"? Without meticulously-planned biometrics, revolutionary infomediaries are forced to become intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PHP. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our aggregation but our capability to leverage. We will extend our aptitude to reintermediate without decreasing our ability to engineer. We think we know that it is better to reinvent proactively than to reinvent mega-transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XForms. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based user communities and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of innovative, magnetic subscriber communities. Think customized. Think customized. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and CSS. Without well-chosen intra-user-centric Total Quality Control, platforms are forced to become user-centric. Think ultra-six-sigma. What does the standard industry industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? We will revolutionize the industry jargon "real-world". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will harness the power of paradigms to upgrade. We will maximize the aptitude of platforms to mesh. Think web-enabled. We believe we know that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to whiteboard compellingly.