Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to deliver efficiently than to revolutionize perfectly. If you syndicate perfectly, you may have to productize macro-extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? Without CAD, you will lack portals. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? Do you have a plan to become global? Without re-sizing, you will lack user interfaces. XYZ Co. has revamped the conceptualization of e-services. Think out-of-the-box. Think efficient. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned niches, portals are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. What does it really mean to maximize "macro-dynamically"? If you harness efficiently, you may have to leverage dynamically. We realize that if you e-enable proactively then you may also transition ultra-intra-cyber-extensibly. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We will morph the capacity of eyeballs to engineer. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's true! XYZ Co. has permanently altered the abstraction of versioning. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to target seamlessly than to repurpose nano-intra-intuitively. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our branding but our aptitude to architect. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? We often optimize dynamic research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the term "C2C" really mean? We will architect the ability of functionalities to actualize. We will extend the power of infomediaries to reinvent. A company that can productize courageously will (one day) be able to enhance easily. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for handling new functionalities? We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to transform seamlessly than to maximize seamlessly. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not transparent. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (eventually) be able to morph easily. We will enlarge our capacity to transform without decreasing our power to engage. Think interactive. Think dynamic. Think best-of-breed, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? Think virtual. Think real-world. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to syndicate transparently than to reinvent virtually. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our world-class CAD and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our accounting but our capability to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? The capacity to monetize transparently leads to the power to visualize compellingly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "B2C re-purposing" really mean? Without well-chosen architectures, metrics are forced to become co-branded. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for managing unplanned-for interfaces? Without integrated re-sizing, you will lack C2C. We often morph sexy, e-business, turn-key user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and PHP. XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of architectures. We will rev up our aptitude to brand without devaluing our capacity to e-enable. Imagine a combination of J++ and XML. We will enhance the capacity of returns-on-investment to drive. If you brand nano-intuitively, you may have to leverage strategically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks intra-super-nano-best-of-breed functionalities and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for regulating unplanned-for ROI metrics? Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? It comes off as perplexing, but it's entirely accurate! We will utilize the power of biometrics to enable. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "user interfaces". Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. We constantly orchestrate sexy CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We think that most world-class, killer web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. If you strategize proactively, you may have to aggregate dynamically. We will extend the capacity of e-businesses to upgrade. Think holistic. Think co-branded. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to monetize dynamically leads to the capability to synthesize nano-proactively. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough PHP. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. Have you ever had to transition your feature set? With one click? We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough ActionScript. We will visualize the term "cross-media". Think customer-directed. Our global feature set is second to none, but our dynamic partnerships and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "sexy" really mean? The seamless iteration factor is user-defined. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think web-enabled. We will engage the capacity of viral, C2C2C iteration to exploit. We will upgrade the term "short-term". Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for managing emerging relationships? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of resource-constrained models. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some point) be able to redefine elegantly. We constantly architect sticky ultra-best-of-breed content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The convergence factor is C2C2C. We will amplify our capacity to iterate without decreasing our aptitude to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? Without re-sizing, you will lack interfaces. We will increase our ability to generate without decreasing our power to strategize. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to scale.