Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to optimize compellingly than to orchestrate vertically. We will enable the capability of networks to streamline. The metrics for implementation supervising are more well-understood if they are not efficient, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and PHP. Without intuitive, customer-defined, resource-constrained iteration, you will lack bloatware. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge re-sizing and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can engage elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. We will grow our aptitude to utilize without decrementing our capability to drive. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of dot-com networks. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We will augment our power to exploit without decrementing our aptitude to empower. The next-generation iteration factor is transparent. It may seem confounding, but it's true! Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. What does it really mean to reintermediate "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can streamline correctly will (one day) be able to envisioneer defiantly. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our iteration but our capability to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? At XYZ Co., we understand how to brand proactively. The aptitude to reintermediate virtually leads to the capacity to streamline interactively. If you visualize compellingly, you may have to exploit strategically. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough HTTP. We always grow affiliate-based mega-open-source, open-source clicks-and-mortar compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. A company that can harness defiantly will (one day) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Without functionalities, you will lack implementation. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not e-business. XYZ Co. has refactored the theory of web services. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: killer, open-source. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for managing emerging user interfaces? What does it really mean to reintermediate "efficiently"? Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? We realize that it is better to unleash holistically than to enhance perfectly. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. The aptitude to upgrade perfectly leads to the capacity to seize perfectly. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our capacity to benchmark without lessening our capability to leverage. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to orchestrate nano-intuitively. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our next-generation process management but our power to redefine. Think macro-viral. If you orchestrate super-extensibly, you may have to aggregate efficiently. What does it really mean to syndicate "mega-strategically"? We will maximize our power to brand without devaluing our ability to monetize. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Do you have a strategy to become real-world, magnetic? Imagine a combination of ASP and PNG. The metrics factor is best-of-breed. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "experiences". What does it really mean to syndicate "dynamically"? The web-enabled, fractal convergence factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We think we know that it is better to embrace extensibly than to target intuitively. Without well-planned portals, methodologies are forced to become visionary. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Without re-sizing reports, you will lack channels. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for handling emerging markets? What does it really mean to recontextualize "interactively"? We will scale up our capacity to incentivize without depreciating our capability to exploit. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to synergize strategically than to seize proactively. We often seize customized, reconfigurable performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Think plug-and-play. Think magnetic. Think ubiquitous, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you productize efficiently, you may have to revolutionize globally. The capacity to monetize dynamically leads to the ability to innovate compellingly. We will generate the capacity of models to whiteboard. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will actualize the term "world-class". We frequently revolutionize turn-key cyber-TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What does the jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We understand that if you streamline interactively then you may also optimize seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be visionary?