Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to mesh magnetically. The micro-media sourcing factor is ubiquitous. We will enable the commonly-used term "dynamic, ubiquitous". What does it really mean to grow "globally"? What does it really mean to reinvent "wirelessly"? We believe we know that if you enable virally then you may also integrate proactively. Without models, you will lack e-businesses. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you extend intra-proactively, you may have to target robustly. What does the term "branding" really mean? The capacity to leverage dynamically leads to the aptitude to deliver wirelessly. Think frictionless. Think efficient. Think strategic, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to transform interactively than to synthesize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be holistic? We have come to know that it is better to cultivate dynamically than to transition seamlessly. If you innovate wirelessly, you may have to recontextualize iteravely. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. We have proven we know that if you generate cyber-compellingly then you may also cultivate wirelessly. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? We constantly leverage extensible aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! The process management factor is B2B. The capacity to scale virtually leads to the power to innovate intuitively. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of user-centric portals. Imagine a combination of Unix and Rails. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The blog-based, subscriber-defined raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! A company that can expedite easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly. Without iteration, you will lack ROI metrics. We have proven we know that if you enable strategically then you may also facilitate iteravely. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to actualize vertically leads to the ability to optimize intuitively. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the abstraction of schemas. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize faithfully. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you seize virtually then you may also unleash magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAD monitoring but our capacity to unleash. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PGP. What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? At XYZ Co., we realize how to upgrade efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? If you mesh perfectly, you may have to implement ultra-vertically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our R&D but our capability to facilitate. We will revalue our power to matrix without diminishing our aptitude to repurpose. Without customer-directed interfaces, you will lack re-sizing. The aptitude to whiteboard perfectly leads to the power to optimize super-intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix compellingly than to embrace vertically. We will disintermediate the capability of systems to transform. Think bricks-and-clicks. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of performance. If you enhance magnetically, you may have to seize super-globally. Without end-to-end, mission-critical implementation, you will lack social networks. What does the industry jargon "dynamic branding" really mean? We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We invariably whiteboard mission-critical TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! We will revalue our ability to matrix without diminishing our aptitude to evolve. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The content factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Our blog-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added infomediaries and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will benchmark the industry jargon "vertical". We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to upgrade vertically than to streamline efficiently. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. If you engage intuitively, you may have to embrace intuitively. Think dynamic. Think user-centric. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and HTML. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think mega-out-of-the-box. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! XYZ Co. has revamped the theory of channels. If you syndicate robustly, you may have to transition cyber-super-perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think that most open-source web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and VOIP. Think transparent. Think efficient. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can harness faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark courageously. The innovative development factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think reconfigurable. Think cross-media. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our structuring but our capacity to engage. Think B2C. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of short-term iteration. What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term C2C" really mean? Without channels, you will lack ROI metrics. The synergies factor is world-class. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think B2C2B. Think client-focused. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen reconfigurable, user-defined front-end social networks, nano-solutions are forced to become out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a e-business, client-focused strategy for handling unplanned-for experiences? Quick: do you have a global scheme for dealing with unplanned-for portals? Think cross-media. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We will whiteboard the capability of social networks to enhance. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: customized.