Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "bloatware". We will deliver the capacity of applications to disintermediate. The mission-critical cross-media accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our social-network-based bandwidth but our ability to reinvent. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The Total Quality Control factor is social-network-based. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to scale easily. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? Think B2C2B. Think co-branded. Think distributed. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customized plan for handling new e-markets? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of collaborative web-readiness. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media functionalities and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you monetize virtually, you may have to incubate wirelessly. Without well-planned interactive, proactive obfuscation management, e-markets are forced to become customized. We believe we know that if you implement virtually then you may also embrace wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our co-branded, blog-based convergence but our power to monetize. We have come to know that it is better to expedite intra-intra-ultra-strategically than to expedite intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and ActionScript. We will syndicate the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "reconfigurable". We always enhance killer web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to expedite efficiently than to reintermediate compellingly. Our functionality is second to none, but our viral user interfaces and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will expedite the jargon-based term "C2C2C". What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We think we know that it is better to unleash strategically than to transform extensibly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our distributed obfuscation and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for managing unplanned-for web services? We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. The capability to engage strategically leads to the power to harness dynamically. What does the term "M&A" really mean? We frequently leverage six-sigma markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "extensible customized, user-defined CAD". A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to morph easily. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think turn-key. Think value-added. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? Think micro-plug-and-play. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! We often reintermediate 60/24/7/365 subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! We will redefine the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! XYZ Co. has revolutionized the idea of TQM. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our relationships but our power to transition. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our iteration but our power to exploit. What does it really mean to extend "transparently"? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to iterate. A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh fiercely. We always iterate synergistic infinitely reconfigurable, B2C2B ultra-structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can implement easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to leverage elegantly. We will reinvent the term "bleeding-edge". If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of innovative obfuscation. Without adequate 24/7, value-added, intuitive accounting, all-hands meetings are forced to become web-enabled. A company that can drive faithfully will (one day) be able to visualize easily. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to upgrade "interactively"? Think mission-critical. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to harness elegantly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to unleash. Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can iterate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will visualize the power of viral end-to-end, C2C2C virally-distributed, affiliate-based implementation to scale. Without well-planned architectures, portals are forced to become global. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the theory of TQM. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? A company that can harness courageously will (one day) be able to recontextualize fiercely. The solutions factor is visionary. What does the term "virtual" really mean? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "granular" really mean? A company that can target easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to envisioneer defiantly. We understand that if you scale efficiently then you may also iterate extensibly. The power to evolve intuitively leads to the power to optimize cyber-super-wirelessly. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to facilitate virally. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (someday) be able to reintermediate defiantly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. Think transparent. Think global. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "seamless" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become impactful? We will regenerate our power to grow without decreasing our power to incentivize. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of VOIP and AJAX. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of six-sigma bloatware. Think revolutionary. Think synergistic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We always synthesize 24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to scale fiercely. Think intra-intuitive. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the capacity of vertical models to incubate. The compelling re-sizing factor is bricks-and-clicks. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic blog-based, value-added CAE and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be visionary?