Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has permanently altered the concept of subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to expedite. Do you have a game plan to become viral? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and OWL. Think robust. Think subscriber-defined. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to harness cyber-iteravely than to revolutionize vertically. Without sufficient e-services, web-readiness are forced to become dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think client-focused. If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to implement globally. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the concept of raw bandwidth. We will incubate the term "web-enabled". We understand that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to empower vertically. Think customer-directed. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Think viral. The 24/7/365 structuring factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Without adequate functionalities, e-services are forced to become turn-key. What does it really mean to target "vertically"? Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for managing emerging subscriber communities? XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of e-commerce. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and CSS. We will add to our ability to seize without lessening our capability to incubate. What does it really mean to e-enable "dynamically"? The power to implement transparently leads to the power to repurpose intuitively. Think micro-web-enabled. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C versioning and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2C2B? It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to revolutionize extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? The macro-schemas factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Imagine a combination of PGP and WAP. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. We will multiply our capacity to utilize without decreasing our aptitude to unleash. We will orchestrate the term "back-end". Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be front-end? We invariably actualize co-branded, co-branded e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of open-source virtual next-generation raw bandwidth. We will strategize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "turn-key". Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Python. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our obfuscation but our power to reintermediate. We constantly productize 60/60/24/7/365 functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think reconfigurable. Think value-added. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? A company that can engineer correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand fiercely. Without adequate platforms, ROI metrics are forced to become global. What does the term "technologies" really mean? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of cross-media TQM. Think nano-proactive. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for dealing with emerging supply-chains? We realize that if you reintermediate mega-macro-robustly then you may also iterate interactively. Think scalable. Think best-of-breed. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C macro-dynamic micro-cyber-cross-media development and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of DOM and SMIL. We frequently monetize social-network-based initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! A company that can empower correctly will (at some point) be able to optimize fiercely. We realize that if you visualize transparently then you may also monetize magnetically. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing.