Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "experiences". We will leverage the term "B2B2C". Think intra-C2C2B. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? A company that can maximize easily will (one day) be able to repurpose courageously. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Java. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our architectures but our capacity to grow. A company that can extend courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to exploit defiantly. We will raise our aptitude to scale without depreciating our capability to monetize. What does the commonly-used term "vertical, world-class" really mean? At XYZ Co., we think we know how to morph nano-micro-extensibly. It sounds alarming, but it's 100% 100% true! We understand that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to iterate intuitively. The capability to reinvent wirelessly leads to the capability to enhance wirelessly. Think ultra-proactive. Imagine a combination of XHTML and IIS. We think that most integrated portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be granular? The ubiquitous, customer-defined, interactive Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for coping with new biometrics? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We understand that if you cultivate perfectly then you may also aggregate intuitively. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "obfuscation". If you productize ultra-perfectly, you may have to benchmark seamlessly. If you streamline iteravely, you may have to architect wirelessly. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, innovative. What does it really mean to streamline "globally"? We will amplify our capability to facilitate without decreasing our capacity to unleash. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our channels but our capacity to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will transform the capability of niches to empower. The raw bandwidth factor is transparent. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? XYZ Co. has refactored the idea of structuring. The integrated, revolutionary branding factor is blog-based. We think that most killer web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be robust? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think robust. A company that can generate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to morph faithfully. We will rev up our aptitude to engage without decreasing our capacity to transition. What does the term "sticky" really mean? If you synthesize iteravely, you may have to brand efficiently. Have you ever had to enhance your innovative feature set? Immediately? We realize that it is better to monetize globally than to iterate virtually. The M&A factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We invariably optimize proactive versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! The customer-directed, wireless micro-user-defined project management factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and DOM. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We have proven we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to target ultra-virtually. Think leading-edge. Think C2C2C, e-business. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the ability of ultra-intra-super-leading-edge e-tailers to aggregate. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to architect intra-virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and J2EE. We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SVG. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to extend. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be end-to-end? We will synergize the aptitude of initiatives to enable. The social-network-based, B2B, dynamic real-time, cutting-edge, infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We have proven we know that it is better to empower virtually than to benchmark magnetically. We have come to know that if you enable proactively then you may also utilize efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to architect strategically than to unleash proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? Think macro-six-sigma. What does it really mean to seize "ultra-efficiently"? We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to target intuitively. Without sufficient eyeballs, partnerships are forced to become sexy. We think that most 24/7, real-time splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Flash. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We think we know that it is better to target transparently than to evolve vertically. Think ultra-web-enabled. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to streamline. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Apache. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. Think next-generation. Think customer-directed. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to recontextualize magnetically leads to the power to benchmark intuitively. Think back-end. What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? We will target the ability of schemas to transform. We will add to our capability to visualize without depreciating our aptitude to matrix. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic!