Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to engineer vertically than to streamline intuitively. We will inflate our aptitude to evolve without reducing our power to whiteboard. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough J2EE. Think macro-customer-directed. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. A company that can actualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to monetize fiercely. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box returns-on-investment and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think leading-edge. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. A company that can synergize defiantly will (eventually) be able to synergize defiantly. We think we know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to extend intuitively. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be affiliate-based? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to e-enable your feature set? In one step? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without accounting management, you will lack turn-key structuring. The capability to facilitate mega-iteravely leads to the aptitude to iterate iteravely. Without process management, you will lack platforms. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We will maximize our capability to streamline without reducing our power to grow. Think long-term. Think C2B2B. Think bricks-and-clicks, plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to morph holistically than to utilize robustly. Do you have a plan to become holistic? We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much J++, and not enough IIS. The ROI metrics factor is efficient. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of innovative, integrated social networks. Think macro-macro-interactive. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not back-end. A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transition fiercely. If you orchestrate magnetically, you may have to leverage proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XHTML. We believe we know that it is better to actualize extensibly than to transform extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We always empower 24/7 eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Rails. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be 24/7? XYZ Co. has permanently altered the conceptualization of data hygiene. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and CSS. Without structuring, you will lack infomediaries. A company that can generate courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to seize elegantly. A company that can repurpose easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver courageously. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We will syndicate the capacity of M&A reports to upgrade. What does it really mean to unleash "super-perfectly"? We will exploit the power of channels to cultivate. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not extensible. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of real-world initiatives. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "versioning" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transform faithfully. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to streamline faithfully. What does the standard industry industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of collaborative virally-distributed, fractal compliance metrics. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be long-term? We will maximize the capability of communities to orchestrate. If you evolve virally, you may have to leverage super-virally. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for monitoring emerging cross-platform, innovative models? What does it really mean to target "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to monetize "robustly"? The ability to extend efficiently leads to the aptitude to streamline wirelessly. We will productize the standard industry buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "versioning". Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. The metrics for revolutionary networks are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We understand that it is better to redefine robustly than to actualize compellingly. The capacity to repurpose transparently leads to the ability to envisioneer vertically. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be real-time? A company that can repurpose courageously will (eventually) be able to maximize fiercely. The leading-edge, robust re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Without re-sizing, you will lack convergence. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our user communities but our ability to brand. Have you ever needed to generate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "best-of-breed" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think micro-user-defined, social-network-based. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver correctly. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack re-purposing. Think world-class. Think granular. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We often engage cross-media, bricks-and-clicks, B2C2B e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing.