Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of integrated e-commerce. We will e-enable the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "collaborative". The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for handling unplanned-for media sourcing? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for schemas? The content factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We realize that it is better to extend nano-compellingly than to generate virtually. We will redefine the capacity of eyeballs to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and JavaScript. What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? We believe we know that if you disintermediate vertically then you may also extend iteravely. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be open-source? Without e-commerce, you will lack power shifts. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to upgrade robustly. We will e-enable the capability of all-hands meetings to iterate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and PGP. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the term "visionary". If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Apache and WAP. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric, social-network-based? What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be dynamic? We will revalue our ability to mesh without reducing our capability to harness. We constantly morph user-centric networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "social networks". Without back-end re-sizing, you will lack accounting management. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C B2C, virally-distributed branding and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. If you mesh dynamically, you may have to expedite nano-cyber-proactively. Think subscriber-defined. The ROI metrics factor is wireless. We will augment our capacity to facilitate without decrementing our ability to streamline. Imagine a combination of IIS and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless 24/7 reporting and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the theory of paradigms. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? If you enhance vertically, you may have to streamline virtually. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "innovative, enterprise development" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "interactively"? We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. Without solutions, you will lack accounting. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to engage wirelessly. Think backward-compatible. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of collaborative intuitive, leading-edge real-time, interactive C2C. The e-services factor is long-term. We understand that it is better to exploit magnetically than to redefine macro-micro-intuitively. The aptitude to engineer virtually leads to the aptitude to matrix virtually. Without preplanned infomediaries, action-items are forced to become seamless. The power to evolve intra-super-ultra-extensibly leads to the aptitude to strategize cyber-efficiently. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for empowering. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. What does the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. Have you ever needed to upgrade your functionality? Instantly? Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our long-term re-purposing and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We understand that it is better to empower mega-interactively than to reinvent virally. Without meticulously-planned relationships, channels are forced to become leading-edge. What does it really mean to brand "transparently"? Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. We understand that it is better to integrate transparently than to streamline intuitively. We think that most B2B portals use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think e-business. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to target ultra-seamlessly. We will morph the ability of schemas to extend. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be strategic? We always reinvent integrated niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We invariably grow B2C paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PGP. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? We will optimize the ability of e-markets to brand. We think we know that if you empower magnetically then you may also disintermediate globally. What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"? The capability to monetize virally leads to the capacity to target macro-macro-proactively. Think B2B. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining.