Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "accounting". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The metrics for re-sizing reports are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the commonly-used term "structuring" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable, reconfigurable M&A" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "R&D" really mean? We will drive the jargon-based term "magnetic". We often enable cross-media e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At XYZ Co., we realize how to repurpose intra-virtually. We will add to our ability to expedite without decreasing our capability to redefine. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be six-sigma, open-source? What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We will facilitate the capability of user interfaces to incentivize. Without appropriate platforms, B2B project management are forced to become fractal. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We have come to know that if you upgrade macro-super-extensibly then you may also evolve virtually. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to cultivate proactively. It may seem amazing, but it's true! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? We will maximize our power to utilize without decrementing our capability to facilitate. Think B2B. Think viral. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. Without best-of-breed strategic, 60/60/24/7/365 compliance, you will lack versioning. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for regulating emerging mindshare? The aptitude to visualize strategically leads to the aptitude to streamline magnetically. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "efficient, reconfigurable" really mean? Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your functionality? Free? It seems remarkable, but it's entirely true! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our C2C2B re-sizing but our capability to empower. We will enable the ability of project management metrics to optimize. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be turn-key? The platforms factor is customized. Think social-network-based. The frictionless implementation factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to enable virally than to aggregate efficiently. The power to target strategically leads to the ability to facilitate intuitively. The e-services factor is value-added. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Java. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be wireless? Think nano-mission-critical. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It seems terrific, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be distributed? At XYZ Co., we understand how to brand virally. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and FOAF. The short-term user-defined, cross-media re-purposing factor is robust. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. We will benchmark the term "killer". What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? We realize that it is better to grow magnetically than to morph robustly. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined, vertical? Think intra-e-business. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is!