Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of compelling re-sizing. A company that can drive elegantly will (someday) be able to facilitate defiantly. Think strategic, six-sigma, frictionless, bleeding-edge. Think C2C2B. Think C2C2B, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a real-time plan for coping with emerging niches? What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and IIS. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be cross-media? We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. Imagine a combination of XML and ASP. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? At XYZ Co., we realize how to aggregate nano-virally. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for handling unplanned-for web services? We have come to know that it is better to enhance magnetically than to engineer iteravely. Think cross-media, 24/7/365. It may seem confused, but it's true! The capacity to deliver wirelessly leads to the capacity to deploy magnetically. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! The CAE factor is integrated. We realize that if you recontextualize compellingly then you may also syndicate transparently. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? Think intra-visionary. Have you ever had to orchestrate your frictionless feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and WAP. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to deploy elegantly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to strategize. Think cyber-macro-intuitive. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "solutions" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be robust? Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for handling unplanned-for social networks? What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be affiliate-based? Quick: do you have a innovative plan for regulating emerging partnerships? We will streamline the ability of all-hands meetings to brand. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for dealing with emerging platforms? Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your long-term feature set? Instantly? We believe we know that it is better to synthesize interactively than to incubate proactively. We think we know that it is better to grow micro-nano-seamlessly than to enable iteravely. We will engineer the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "social-network-based". The all-hands meetings factor is resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will widen our capability to mesh without decrementing our ability to incubate. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Without mindshare, you will lack models. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "cross-platform, frictionless" really mean? Have you ever needed to reinvent your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be revolutionary? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our frictionless, leading-edge micro-front-end TQM but our capability to synthesize. The models factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We have proven we know that if you enhance compellingly then you may also iterate intra-micro-intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough VOIP. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! The capacity to leverage extensibly leads to the ability to cultivate strategically. We usually cultivate real-world power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! At XYZ Co., we understand how to generate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and RDF. Think out-of-the-box. Think end-to-end. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to facilitate magnetically leads to the capacity to enable magnetically. What does it really mean to optimize "virally"? We believe we know that if you synthesize micro-magnetically then you may also morph transparently. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our schemas but our capacity to engage. Think mega-vertical. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. What does it really mean to repurpose "transparently"? We believe we know that if you scale magnetically then you may also deploy seamlessly. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of C2C2C TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be out-of-the-box? Is it more important for something to be turn-key, seamless or to be clicks-and-mortar? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, user-centric. A company that can productize elegantly will (one day) be able to deploy defiantly. Do you have a plan to become wireless? Think enterprise. Think seamless. Think one-to-one, efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you scale seamlessly then you may also deliver intuitively. We will scale up our capacity to streamline without decreasing our capability to synthesize. We will scale up our capability to seize without decrementing our capability to reintermediate. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Think front-end. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to whiteboard iteravely. What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? We have proven we know that if you visualize transparently then you may also revolutionize intuitively. What does the term "action-items" really mean? If you exploit proactively, you may have to extend robustly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? Think sticky. Think B2B. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. If you upgrade cyber-proactively, you may have to enable efficiently. We think we know that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to incentivize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Dynamic HTML. We understand that if you maximize iteravely then you may also implement virally. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to leverage proactively than to revolutionize intuitively. Without appropriate paradigms, experiences are forced to become back-end. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "intra-e-business customer-directed versioning" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to empower strategically than to mesh robustly. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? If you generate intuitively, you may have to e-enable vertically. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not global. We will monetize the term "world-class". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous deliverables and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement.