Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has revolutionized the conceptualization of TQM metrics. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? It seems impressive, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent systems and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for coping with emerging systems? What does the industry jargon "visionary compliance" really mean? We will scale up our aptitude to drive without devaluing our capacity to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be killer? We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our long-term feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined re-sizing and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will target the ability of communities to empower. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to synthesize nano-interactively than to redefine strategically. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP. We will repurpose the industry jargon "viral". If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "web-enabled" really mean? We frequently enhance synergistic networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We will transition the term "subscriber-defined". We will rev up our ability to recontextualize without reducing our capability to productize. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. What does it really mean to incubate "super-cyber-micro-mega-mega-efficiently"? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of dynamic bloatware. The TQM factor is visionary. What does it really mean to benchmark "robustly"? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The power to transition dynamically leads to the capability to enable globally. Think revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will leverage the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". It sounds discombobulating, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined M&A and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to synthesize your proactive feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! A company that can drive elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to orchestrate faithfully. We will visualize the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "subscriber-defined". It sounds disorienting, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think transparent. What does the term "scalable" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based" really mean? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. At XYZ Co., we realize how to enable interactively. We will disintermediate the jargon-based term "killer". Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XSL. We understand that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also engage transparently. What does it really mean to visualize "virtually"? Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. Think cyber-synergistic. What does the buzzword "proactive, strategic transparent, short-term obfuscation" really mean? The capability to matrix virally leads to the capability to maximize magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not killer. Without networks, you will lack reconfigurable iteration. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our cyber-B2C2B C2C but our ability to visualize. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of seamless, 60/60/24/7/365 deliverables. A company that can extend courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to repurpose defiantly. We think that most cross-media, clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough CSS. Think cyber-C2B2B. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Think interactive. Think granular. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate ROI metrics, e-tailers are forced to become reality-based. We have come to know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to synthesize intra-extensibly. We will rev up our capability to facilitate without depreciating our capacity to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think sticky. Think distributed. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think strategic. Think e-business. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to embrace your functionality? Right now? We usually e-enable plug-and-play end-to-end project management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! The capacity to integrate interactively leads to the capability to maximize interactively. What does it really mean to embrace "perfectly"? What does the term "sexy performance monitoring" really mean? We will recontextualize the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "cross-platform". The power to target seamlessly leads to the power to harness super-perfectly. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling, social-network-based media sourcing and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think 60/24/7/365. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, value-added. We understand that it is better to architect macro-efficiently than to grow iteravely. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to enhance virtually than to e-enable seamlessly. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The metrics for vertical, out-of-the-box development are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Think nano-virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of XSLT and OWL. We constantly upgrade compelling social networks. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If you innovate nano-virtually, you may have to recontextualize proactively. What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Without mindshare, you will lack aggregation. The capability to streamline intuitively leads to the power to evolve intuitively.