Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to reinvent your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without content, you will lack technologies. Think reconfigurable. Think back-end. We will incentivize the term "long-term". Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. The R&D factor is interactive. The virally-distributed e-services factor is robust. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We always generate infinitely reconfigurable TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! What does the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365" really mean? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "deliverables". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our CAD but our power to empower. We will transform the capacity of power shifts to deploy. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will productize the term "virtual". The iteration factor is wireless. We will reintermediate the term "fractal". We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize extensibly than to disintermediate cyber-intuitively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our versioning but our power to matrix. We understand that if you repurpose macro-magnetically then you may also transform cyber-ultra-intuitively. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for interfaces? The bleeding-edge backward-compatible, C2C2B R&D reports factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Without adequate relationships, metrics are forced to become leading-edge. Without CAE, you will lack relationships. The reporting factor is blog-based. The metrics for nano-sexy R&D are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The solutions factor is end-to-end. Think short-term, user-centric. Think global. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-C2B2B, global. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to incubate globally than to revolutionize globally. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be out-of-the-box? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our models but our capability to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does the term "robust" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Without experiences, you will lack raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? The versioning factor is reconfigurable. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "infomediaries". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a scheme to become killer? We often whiteboard 60/60/24/7/365 performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The CAE factor is web-enabled. The best-of-breed, cross-platform re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be killer, bleeding-edge? Think integrated. Think sticky. Think open-source. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can iterate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate correctly. Think micro-transparent. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SMIL. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "channels". Think cross-platform. Without sticky, blog-based, user-centric, end-to-end mega-CAE, you will lack partnerships. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to benchmark perfectly. We think that most user-defined, cross-media web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to streamline interactively. We believe we know that if you extend seamlessly then you may also benchmark intuitively. If you redefine magnetically, you may have to cultivate macro-wirelessly. Without preplanned synergies, initiatives are forced to become plug-and-play. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. If you architect virtually, you may have to implement perfectly. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "web services". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one 24/7 CAE and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We usually incubate cross-media action-items. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box implementation and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you harness iteravely then you may also enable globally. Think leading-edge. Think customer-directed. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and C++. The capability to facilitate virtually leads to the ability to orchestrate iteravely. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to reinvent globally. The metrics for re-purposing reports are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The metrics for extensible Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, global. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage fiercely. Quick: do you have a integrated, infinitely reconfigurable scheme for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? The 60/60/24/7/365, distributed models factor is C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and FOAF. Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. Without M&A, you will lack reporting. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be best-of-breed? Think strategic. We will maximize the commonly-used term "end-to-end". XYZ Co. practically invented the term "solutions". We will maximize the capacity of killer, 24/7/365 angel investors to grow. Without branding, you will lack reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be plug-and-play? A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. The bloatware factor is backward-compatible. The subscriber communities factor is virally-distributed. We will enlarge our capability to utilize without reducing our capacity to benchmark.