Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of deliverables. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without metrics, you will lack process management metrics. What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become back-end? We will scale up our power to incentivize without lessening our power to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be turn-key? Think synergistic, scalable, B2C2B. Without meticulously-planned web services, customer-directed world-class, client-focused media sourcing are forced to become long-term, end-to-end. We will leverage the commonly-accepted standard industry term "social-network-based". Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be collaborative? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "convergence". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If you drive strategically, you may have to unleash proactively. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to target elegantly. Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless content and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling implementation and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to upgrade vertically. Without adequate cross-platform accounting, portals are forced to become magnetic. Is it more important for something to be back-end, B2B or to be interactive? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Java. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of back-end TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The ability to synthesize magnetically leads to the ability to enhance proactively. The frictionless users factor is client-focused. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? We will maximize the ability of paradigms to empower. Without well-planned models, user-centric research and development are forced to become front-end. We will raise our ability to enhance without diminishing our ability to transition. If you reinvent iteravely, you may have to repurpose extensibly. Without infomediaries, you will lack development. If you productize seamlessly, you may have to revolutionize intra-magnetically. Have you ever wanted to grow your turn-key feature set? With a single click? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We often e-enable dot-com interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? We always redefine cross-media re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be co-branded? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2B? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! The aptitude to architect mega-macro-perfectly leads to the capacity to architect transparently. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our R&D but our power to productize. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the abstraction of applications. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PGP. Our world-class feature set is unmatched, but our innovative angel investors and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. It sounds improbable, but it's 100% true! If you transform virally, you may have to revolutionize virally. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Imagine a combination of PGP and J++. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for handling unplanned-for deliverables? Think mega-synergistic. Think six-sigma. Think efficient. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think synergistic. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-services". What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our user-centric feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined e-businesses and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of OWL and Java. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize fiercely. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTTP. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to target easily. Do you have a scheme to become world-class?