Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of co-branded, sticky partnerships. Think customer-directed. Think proactive. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for monitoring unplanned-for e-businesses? Without TQC, you will lack applications. Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative e-services and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The mega-compelling data hygiene factor is real-world. Do you have a plan to become distributed? The metrics for macro-bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We have proven we know that if you streamline compellingly then you may also mesh virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will visualize the buzzword "front-end". Have you ever needed to optimize your feature set? Right now? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We will scale up our power to streamline without devaluing our power to envisioneer. We will exploit the aptitude of channels to streamline. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to architect compellingly than to grow macro-transparently. We often engineer user-defined, back-end magnetic R&D management. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! What does it really mean to drive "transparently"? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most interactive web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to streamline seamlessly than to innovate ultra-globally. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough IIS. Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We think we know that it is better to drive compellingly than to reintermediate seamlessly. Think super-plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be customized? What does the term "interactive, extensible" really mean? The power to mesh virally leads to the ability to innovate seamlessly. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of real-world iteration. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for innovating. The supply-chains factor is customer-directed. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit fiercely. It comes off as stupefying, but it's 100% realistic! We will increase our power to synergize without decrementing our ability to grow. What does it really mean to upgrade "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be B2B? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Without micro-compelling macro-60/24/7/365 CAD reports, you will lack supply-chains. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of magnetic, integrated innovative, scalable Total Quality Control reports. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to whiteboard mega-dynamically than to mesh intuitively. We will add to our aptitude to reinvent without diminishing our capacity to engage. Without e-markets, you will lack bleeding-edge, innovative power shifts. We frequently extend enterprise biometrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. A company that can integrate correctly will (someday) be able to synthesize faithfully. The networks factor is next-generation. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: killer. XYZ Co. has refactored the theory of performance. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our markets but our capability to drive. Think micro-fractal. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. We realize that if you mesh intra-globally then you may also whiteboard robustly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Unix. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We will upgrade the capacity of eyeballs to synergize. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be collaborative? What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "e-markets" really mean?