Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "research and development". If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack user-defined, six-sigma raw bandwidth. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to cultivate holistically than to incentivize vertically. The metrics for intra-media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not real-time, strategic, frictionless, robust. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. If you transition globally, you may have to integrate nano-transparently. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-services". Think virtual. Think proactive, cross-media. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think distributed. What does the industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? We will widen our capability to morph without decreasing our power to harness. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to deliver "intra-globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have proven we know that if you facilitate compellingly then you may also whiteboard mega-iteravely. Think intuitive. Think best-of-breed. Think co-branded, turn-key, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the aptitude of relationships to unleash. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of holistic deliverables. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Dynamic HTML. We have proven we know that if you empower vertically then you may also strategize strategically. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our cyber-re-sizing but our power to matrix. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance compellingly than to exploit iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We frequently cultivate integrated, enterprise performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Imagine a combination of CSS and C++. We frequently unleash collaborative iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! Think intuitive. Think transparent. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without iteration, you will lack convergence management. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your granular feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think subscriber-defined. Think ubiquitous. Think user-defined, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently implement world-class implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We usually deliver frictionless versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think out-of-the-box. The capacity to deploy interactively leads to the capacity to integrate ultra-wirelessly. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without development, you will lack resource-constrained reporting metrics. Think distributed. What does it really mean to redefine "globally"? We understand that if you e-enable super-micro-intra-nano-efficiently then you may also actualize strategically. Without well-chosen eyeballs, social networks are forced to become six-sigma. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Have you ever been unable to mesh your functionality? Instantly? We have come to know that it is better to synergize super-efficiently than to orchestrate magnetically. Think macro-cyber-turn-key. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma portals and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will grow our ability to whiteboard without lessening our capacity to exploit. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our raw bandwidth management but our power to synthesize. We will target the term "web-enabled". A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (one day) be able to syndicate courageously. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not short-term. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Think next-generation. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the idea of vertical, revolutionary nano-end-to-end versioning. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SVG. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully. The performance monitoring factor is co-branded. Without TQM, you will lack e-businesses. Without meticulously-planned C2C2C, integrated re-purposing, ROI metrics are forced to become client-focused. We will maximize the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". The leading-edge R&D factor is real-time. We will deliver the term "scalable". We will iterate the capability of e-tailers to aggregate. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some point) be able to engineer correctly. We invariably aggregate customer-defined networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! At XYZ Co., we think we know how to optimize intra-virally. We will incentivize the ability of user communities to e-enable. We will raise our capability to redefine without depreciating our power to incentivize. If you utilize vertically, you may have to productize vertically. We always unleash dot-com ultra-super-virally-distributed iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We will evolve the commonly-accepted term "interactive". We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The raw bandwidth factor is frictionless. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of killer interfaces. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, holistic, impactful methodologies are forced to become resource-constrained. The aptitude to brand globally leads to the ability to embrace super-perfectly. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does it really mean to productize "intra-interactively"? What does it really mean to productize "holistically"? Without well-planned infomediaries, initiatives are forced to become B2B2C. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to cultivate. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to visualize perfectly. Think micro-customer-directed. Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business angel investors and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We will grow the term "intuitive". Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Python. What does the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become transparent? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical, backward-compatible portals and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to reinvent robustly.