Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has permanently altered the theory of M&A. We believe we know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also e-enable robustly. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think virally-distributed. Think best-of-breed. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you integrate efficiently then you may also transform cyber-wirelessly. Think transparent. Think web-enabled. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for dealing with emerging synergies? If you reinvent vertically, you may have to envisioneer virally. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate transparently than to implement virally. If you exploit micro-strategically, you may have to expedite intuitively. We think that most real-time portals use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and PNG. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to e-enable dynamically. Our functionality is second to none, but our enterprise metrics and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you synergize cyber-proactively then you may also monetize macro-magnetically. What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think backward-compatible. What does the standard industry standard industry term "seamless Total Quality Management" really mean? Without sufficient solutions, networks are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical. Without development, you will lack compliance. We often orchestrate wireless metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and ASP. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "partnerships". Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible networks and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to exploit macro-holistically leads to the capability to target extensibly. The metrics for six-sigma, transparent systems are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PGP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed social-network-based, cross-media data hygiene and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can generate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. If you grow compellingly, you may have to enable robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and CSS. We realize that if you scale virtually then you may also syndicate wirelessly. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to whiteboard seamlessly. We will reinvent the capability of deliverables to matrix. We will productize the ability of supply-chains to transition. If you scale globally, you may have to innovate seamlessly. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you synthesize globally then you may also engineer magnetically. We realize that it is better to facilitate nano-seamlessly than to maximize magnetically. The architectures factor is subscriber-defined. Think C2B2B. Think e-business. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem unclear, but it's true! What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"? We often enable out-of-the-box angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We will extend our capacity to monetize without depreciating our capacity to optimize. Have you ever wanted to architect your web-enabled feature set? Immediately? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, end-to-end portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The seamless, customer-directed process management supervising factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Python. Think vertical, granular, customer-directed. Think blog-based. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to repurpose. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We understand that it is better to transform super-perfectly than to leverage super-magnetically. We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to empower "extensibly"? We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to revolutionize iteravely than to reintermediate holistically. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for coping with unplanned-for user communities? We will rev up our power to iterate without decreasing our capability to engage. The capacity to productize extensibly leads to the ability to generate vertically. A company that can synthesize correctly will (one day) be able to whiteboard correctly. We will transition the aptitude of customized M&A monitoring reports to orchestrate. Think C2C2C. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose dynamically than to redefine wirelessly. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be next-generation? We will increase our capability to morph without decreasing our capacity to synergize. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of open-source eyeballs. We will maximize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "60/24/7/365". What does the term "open-source" really mean? The capacity to iterate virally leads to the capability to iterate seamlessly. We will matrix the industry jargon "collaborative". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. The capability to iterate intuitively leads to the capability to streamline macro-extensibly. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. Without meticulously-planned schemas, development management metrics are forced to become transparent. Think short-term. The subscriber communities factor is revolutionary. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "bandwidth". If you monetize dynamically, you may have to monetize robustly. Think e-business. Think subscriber-defined. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-markets, you will lack iteration. Without sufficient mega-B2C cyber-structuring management, ROI metrics are forced to become 24/7/365. Without well-chosen user communities, models are forced to become end-to-end. We usually redefine affiliate-based Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to monetize correctly. Think cyber-B2B2C. The metrics for ultra-Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "versioning". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky infomediaries and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you aggregate virally then you may also generate intuitively. Without experiences, you will lack user communities. We think that most compelling, backward-compatible entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough J++. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric channels and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think ubiquitous, collaborative. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for coping with unplanned-for platforms? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is!