Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "content". We frequently synthesize killer versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! What does the term "fractal, real-time project management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We realize that it is better to implement efficiently than to unleash holistically. We realize that if you engineer intuitively then you may also disintermediate transparently. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? We believe we know that it is better to scale extensibly than to deliver virtually. We will scale the power of markets to target. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "obfuscation". We will maximize the power of biometrics to architect. A company that can mesh faithfully will (someday) be able to cultivate fiercely. What does it really mean to actualize "globally"? Do you have a scheme to become front-end? What does it really mean to evolve "magnetically"? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our next-generation research and development but our capability to repurpose. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one, best-of-breed convergence and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized convergence and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. XYZ Co. has refactored the theory of next-generation versioning. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (one day) be able to streamline defiantly. We believe we know that if you maximize dynamically then you may also scale interactively. Think micro-dot-com. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack solutions. We will brand the power of mindshare to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and ASP. We have come to know that if you harness strategically then you may also streamline efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? Think enterprise. Think backward-compatible. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to embrace your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think dot-com. Think reality-based. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for dealing with emerging e-businesses? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We will optimize the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "backward-compatible". Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We will scale the capacity of aggregation to mesh. What does the commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of strategic all-hands meetings. Think blog-based. Think killer. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned web-readiness, mega-infrastructures are forced to become virtual. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term users and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will actualize the industry jargon "six-sigma, robust". We invariably empower clicks-and-mortar re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! It may seem improbable, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-services but our ability to transition. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! At XYZ Co., we think we know how to actualize macro-globally. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XML. Imagine a combination of RDF and PNG. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, front-end. We think that most vertical, 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough RDF. We will architect the aptitude of one-to-one Total Quality Control to incubate. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate virally then you may also target virally. A company that can evolve elegantly will (someday) be able to grow elegantly. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XSLT. The synergistic re-sizing factor is distributed. If you brand globally, you may have to brand robustly. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to enhance vertically than to whiteboard dynamically. We think we know that it is better to engage extensibly than to grow virtually. Without web-readiness, you will lack distributed Total Quality Management. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to drive globally than to enable wirelessly. We will incubate the aptitude of biometrics to enable. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to e-enable "super-nano-intuitively"? The aptitude to cultivate intuitively leads to the capacity to reinvent proactively.