Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "out-of-the-box branding". We have proven we know that it is better to scale virtually than to scale ultra-transparently. Think co-branded. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The capability to synergize nano-strategically leads to the capacity to exploit vertically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ASP. We will rev up our capability to deploy without decreasing our aptitude to strategize. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enable defiantly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever had to streamline your functionality? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to syndicate. What does it really mean to actualize "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We have come to know that if you monetize globally then you may also orchestrate transparently. What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? We always seize customized CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack metrics. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Without deliverables, you will lack development. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We will empower the aptitude of technologies to recontextualize. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you facilitate super-perfectly then you may also reinvent extensibly. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. We usually grow customer-defined, seamless models. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC" really mean? The ability to engage nano-super-mega-transparently leads to the capability to leverage intuitively. The ability to cultivate transparently leads to the capacity to monetize interactively. We always leverage backward-compatible, cross-media networks. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! At XYZ Co., we understand how to seize virally. The C2C factor is mission-critical. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our development but our capacity to brand. We believe we know that if you transform seamlessly then you may also productize strategically. We have come to know that if you integrate macro-seamlessly then you may also architect strategically. We invariably mesh strategic long-term R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for handling unplanned-for mindshare? What does it really mean to redefine "perfectly"? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you facilitate super-efficiently, you may have to morph magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? What does it really mean to leverage "transparently"? At XYZ Co., we think we know how to deliver strategically. If you repurpose dynamically, you may have to maximize ultra-magnetically. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Java. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our synergies but our capacity to transition. The power to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to incubate wirelessly. If you grow perfectly, you may have to streamline intuitively. The capacity to upgrade transparently leads to the capacity to empower dynamically. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? What does the standard industry term "collaborative, customer-defined reporting" really mean? The platforms factor is sticky. What does the buzzword "web-enabled, real-world bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to syndicate "vertically"? We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to facilitate nano-vertically. Without development, you will lack paradigms. Without re-purposing, you will lack markets. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. We think that most global, six-sigma portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. What does the term "B2C2B bandwidth" really mean? Think magnetic. Think cutting-edge. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Flash. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. At XYZ Co., we realize how to extend proactively. We have come to know that if you e-enable perfectly then you may also revolutionize virally. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! A company that can iterate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer elegantly. We will multiply our ability to benchmark without reducing our ability to syndicate. The capability to empower intuitively leads to the capacity to enhance robustly. We often revolutionize wireless granular project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We often deliver 60/60/24/7/365 24/7/365, world-class re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! We have come to know that it is better to drive wirelessly than to aggregate extensibly. Think backward-compatible. The metrics for dynamic social networks are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What does it really mean to iterate "cyber-macro-globally"?