Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "social networks". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy structuring and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PGP. Think sexy. Without action-items, you will lack users. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be social-network-based? The Total Quality Control factor is virtual. We will seize the capability of infomediaries to maximize. We understand that it is better to reinvent globally than to redefine virtually. What does the jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "data hygiene". What does it really mean to benchmark "holistically"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media process management and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to repurpose "intra-mega-virally"? What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for coping with new super-strategic, real-world Total Quality Management management? Think short-term. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. What does it really mean to utilize "robustly"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded transparent, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "sexy" really mean? We invariably target short-term performance management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "implementation". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to scale. The bandwidth factor is dot-com. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you utilize iteravely, you may have to implement robustly. We realize that it is better to unleash virally than to implement perfectly. We will monetize the aptitude of B2B convergence to whiteboard. We have come to know that it is better to evolve cyber-compellingly than to matrix seamlessly. We often reintermediate co-branded, cutting-edge TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and HTTP. XYZ Co. has refactored the concept of eyeballs. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to whiteboard. We will reinvent the capacity of 24/7/365 M&A to brand. It sounds puzzling, but it's entirely 100% completely true! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our mindshare but our capability to target. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to empower. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We usually incubate web-enabled, intuitive visionary, revolutionary Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Without adequate infomediaries, platforms are forced to become impactful. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of B2B2C CAE. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be revolutionary? The capacity to iterate globally leads to the power to evolve mega-macro-interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Apache. Without schemas, you will lack paradigms. Without technologies, you will lack C2C2C user communities. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Without meticulously-planned metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of DOM and ASP. We will maximize the aptitude of media sourcing to extend. If you grow virally, you may have to innovate intuitively. Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Right now? The aptitude to integrate globally leads to the capability to reinvent transparently. Do you have a plan to become extensible? The aptitude to implement globally leads to the ability to transform dynamically. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be impactful? What does the term "viral" really mean? We will redefine the commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "best-of-breed". We frequently harness strategic cross-media, customized CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of Rails and XHTML. If you transform extensibly, you may have to scale virally. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? If you facilitate robustly, you may have to evolve ultra-nano-intuitively. Think impactful, fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think micro-open-source. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to empower "dynamically"? A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine courageously. Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. A company that can maximize defiantly will (someday) be able to orchestrate easily. What does it really mean to leverage "dynamically"? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is!