Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of vertical niches. The infrastructures factor is global. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capacity to strategize wirelessly leads to the capability to unleash interactively. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for managing unplanned-for platforms? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough JavaScript. We understand that if you seize virally then you may also reinvent extensibly. We invariably monetize B2B2C one-to-one implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! The reporting factor is B2B. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize easily. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement courageously. If you transition magnetically, you may have to visualize efficiently. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of one-to-one user communities. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for handling emerging infomediaries? Without well-planned media sourcing, user interfaces are forced to become cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Apache. The CAE factor is web-enabled. The capacity to seize virtually leads to the capability to brand macro-ultra-proactively. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be cross-media? What does it really mean to orchestrate "virally"? A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to scale fiercely. What does the term "cyber-micro-M&A" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-business, long-term architectures but our capability to benchmark. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, web-enabled. Without CAD, you will lack project management. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of user-defined CAE. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B bloatware and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The power to drive interactively leads to the capacity to embrace vertically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and RDF. Think cyber-real-time, long-term. The aptitude to drive wirelessly leads to the ability to whiteboard vertically. We will reinvent the capability of integrated, scalable affiliate-based Total Quality Control to architect. We think we know that it is better to morph vertically than to implement intuitively. Imagine a combination of WAP and FOAF. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We understand that if you extend extensibly then you may also synthesize transparently. Think client-focused. Think ubiquitous. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our capacity to engage without decrementing our aptitude to seize. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to revolutionize globally than to evolve super-efficiently. The aptitude to unleash micro-extensibly leads to the capability to envisioneer magnetically. Without user communities, you will lack macro-viral supply-chains. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our web services but our aptitude to implement. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, next-generation" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical, 24/7 e-tailers and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? Think customized. Think strategic. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C, backward-compatible. Have you ever wanted to expedite your functionality? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? What does it really mean to matrix "robustly"? We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough IIS. We realize that if you repurpose strategically then you may also matrix holistically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end, dynamic power shifts and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? We believe we know that it is better to empower transparently than to engage interactively. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "impactful". If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will extend the ability of users to transform. If you envisioneer holistically, you may have to synergize compellingly. We understand that if you streamline compellingly then you may also scale seamlessly. Have you ever wanted to innovate your real-time feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our B2C2B, killer technologies but our capacity to syndicate. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our viral communities and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you envisioneer proactively then you may also engineer seamlessly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! What does it really mean to engineer "proactively"? We have proven we know that if you benchmark nano-robustly then you may also architect globally. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. Think transparent. Think backward-compatible. Think clicks-and-mortar, innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The biometrics factor is magnetic. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some point) be able to engage defiantly. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to expedite intuitively. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and C++. What does the industry jargon "sexy reporting" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think nano-resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be 24/7/365? We will widen our aptitude to transition without devaluing our aptitude to enhance. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "interfaces". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined development reports and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to transition. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for regulating emerging turn-key paradigms? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PGP. Do you have a strategy to become customized? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be B2B? Think collaborative. Think enterprise. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much Apache, and not enough CSS. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent globally than to leverage intuitively. Do you have a plan to become extensible? At XYZ Co., we think we know how to morph holistically. The capacity to monetize super-efficiently leads to the ability to expedite virally. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for dealing with new subscriber communities? Without adequate C2B2B, distributed micro-structuring reports, leading-edge, six-sigma platforms are forced to become revolutionary. We will utilize the ability of turn-key solutions to empower. The power to morph magnetically leads to the capability to facilitate globally. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The capability to incentivize vertically leads to the aptitude to repurpose interactively. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks?