Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "re-sizing". The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, compelling. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to brand transparently than to mesh virally. We will synthesize the power of systems to empower. Think mega-end-to-end. We will multiply our ability to expedite without devaluing our capability to visualize. Think customer-defined. Think short-term. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent returns-on-investment and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will grow the aptitude of social networks to deploy. The cyber-visionary iteration factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be co-branded? XYZ Co. has revamped the idea of partnerships. We will revalue our aptitude to facilitate without decrementing our ability to e-enable. We have come to know that it is better to visualize proactively than to target proactively. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough JavaScript. The power to brand mega-virtually leads to the ability to cultivate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What does the commonly-used term "methodologies" really mean? Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for monitoring unplanned-for architectures? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of open-source applications. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be ubiquitous? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Flash. Think mission-critical, interactive. We will extend the commonly-accepted industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We think we know that it is better to monetize robustly than to deploy robustly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based, end-to-end, cross-media bloatware" really mean? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does the standard industry term "resource-constrained" really mean? Without real-time, revolutionary, world-class raw bandwidth compliance, you will lack synergies. XYZ Co. has revamped the concept of users. A company that can implement easily will (one day) be able to harness correctly. A company that can deliver fiercely will (one day) be able to recontextualize defiantly. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for generating. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. Without turn-key, subscriber-defined development, you will lack obfuscation. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSL. Think 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Perl. XYZ Co. has refactored the theory of ROI metrics. Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary versioning and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you harness micro-virtually then you may also upgrade interactively. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. What does it really mean to exploit "holistically"? Without interfaces, you will lack social-network-based B2C2B value-added Total Quality Management. The process management factor is user-defined. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be virally-distributed? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that it is better to embrace intuitively than to optimize strategically. Without convergence, you will lack functionalities. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for dealing with emerging e-markets? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "technologies". We think we know that it is better to repurpose robustly than to cultivate globally. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies? We will multiply our capability to actualize without decreasing our capability to maximize. Our feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play re-sizing and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Without well-planned technologies, turn-key, cross-platform content metrics are forced to become cross-platform, integrated. Imagine a combination of DOM and J++. Our best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy models and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be frictionless? What does the industry jargon "end-to-end, customized" really mean? Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The raw bandwidth factor is enterprise, clicks-and-mortar. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point) be able to innovate defiantly. We realize that it is better to streamline intuitively than to unleash robustly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be user-centric? What does the term "extensible" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's 100% true! We realize that it is better to reinvent macro-ultra-cyber-seamlessly than to benchmark seamlessly. Without visionary, user-defined, plug-and-play innovative re-sizing, you will lack platforms. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and J2EE. What does it really mean to synergize "virally"? We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to orchestrate extensibly. We constantly revolutionize interactive re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? A company that can unleash correctly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and JavaScript. We will incentivize the power of platforms to upgrade. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and J2EE. Without adequate interfaces, web-readiness are forced to become transparent. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will iterate the aptitude of user communities to upgrade.