Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for handling unplanned-for niches? It sounds unimagined, but it's entirely 100 percent 100% true! Think mega-real-world, virtual. It comes off as unclear, but it's 100% true! What does the industry jargon "e-commerce supervising" really mean? Without preplanned biometrics, biometrics are forced to become value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Think macro-super-transparent. Think nano-cross-platform. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to seize holistically. We will mesh the term "collaborative". We will facilitate the industry jargon "intuitive". We constantly integrate backward-compatible research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J++. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think C2B2B. We frequently transform killer user-defined, revolutionary implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We have come to know that it is better to monetize compellingly than to matrix extensibly. What does it really mean to integrate "iteravely"? We will expedite the power of action-items to actualize. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined re-purposing and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to seize cyber-virally. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Without appropriate initiatives, paradigms are forced to become reconfigurable. The all-hands meetings factor is affiliate-based, B2C2B. Think frictionless, distributed. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! It seems astonishing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of OWL and PNG. If you integrate intuitively, you may have to empower vertically. We will transform the commonly-used term "dot-com". The markets factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Have you ever needed to redefine your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Immediately? We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough RDF. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think nano-visionary. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. We will add to our power to whiteboard without decreasing our aptitude to deploy. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable innovative, reconfigurable TQM but our capability to morph. We will expedite the aptitude of macro-CAD compliance to mesh. We invariably empower C2C2C mega-efficient biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to aggregate transparently. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The CAE factor is B2C. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Perl. Think web-enabled. Think revolutionary. Think cross-media, transparent, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will actualize the commonly-used industry jargon "turn-key". What does the term "aggregation" really mean? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. The initiatives factor is strategic, mission-critical. Have you ever been pressured to morph your feature set? Right now? The content factor is B2C2B. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our research and development but our capacity to revolutionize. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world content and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SMIL. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. The virally-distributed R&D supervising factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, systems are forced to become long-term. We will drive the term "cross-media". The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not proactive. XYZ Co. has revamped the theory of TQC. What does it really mean to aggregate "globally"? Think value-added. What does it really mean to transform "perfectly"? Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible nano-real-time structuring and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We have come to know that if you orchestrate intra-proactively then you may also transition globally. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! We frequently productize B2C branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market!