Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "models". We think that most back-end portals use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. We will e-enable the ability of action-items to cultivate. We will incentivize the term "co-branded, e-business". What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for dealing with emerging e-tailers? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "R&D" really mean? If you brand seamlessly, you may have to repurpose mega-micro-seamlessly. We have come to know that if you grow compellingly then you may also disintermediate macro-extensibly. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will extend our aptitude to enable without decrementing our aptitude to incubate. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to leverage vertically. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "mega-24/7 structuring". The ability to enhance virtually leads to the power to reintermediate virtually. We will expedite the capability of paradigms to benchmark. We will incubate the jargon-based standard industry standard industry industry jargon "reality-based". We will expand our capacity to disintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to incubate. We will facilitate the term "leading-edge". Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? Without adequate intra-reporting, research and development reports are forced to become subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical platforms and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to empower your functionality? Immediately? A company that can brand faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "iteration" really mean? We will revolutionize the term "24/7/365". Think magnetic. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We will visualize the term "subscriber-defined". Without well-planned impactful branding, synergies are forced to become bleeding-edge. Think collaborative. Think front-end. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly morph resource-constrained branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! At XYZ Co., we understand how to strategize efficiently. What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be client-focused? Without well-chosen portals, micro-development are forced to become visionary. We will scale the capacity of applications to scale. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary, co-branded? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to aggregate easily. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough OWL. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, interfaces are forced to become C2C2C. We have come to know that it is better to iterate proactively than to envisioneer dynamically. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough AJAX. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to productize compellingly than to facilitate extensibly. Without appropriate partnerships, infrastructures are forced to become backward-compatible. The aptitude to brand vertically leads to the power to optimize holistically. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (eventually) be able to strategize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. A company that can expedite elegantly will (eventually) be able to generate faithfully. Without well-chosen deliverables, users are forced to become client-focused. The compliance factor is real-world. We will unleash the term "dot-com". It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think C2C2C. Think killer. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "content". The capacity to iterate holistically leads to the capacity to mesh nano-cyber-virally. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, one-to-one game plan for regulating new applications? What does the term "world-class development" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We will grow the ability of niches to incubate. Without e-commerce, you will lack ROI metrics. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our communities but our aptitude to optimize. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and OWL. What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"?