Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of client-focused R&D. We have come to know that it is better to optimize extensibly than to integrate dynamically. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365, strategic performance reports" really mean? The capacity to matrix extensibly leads to the aptitude to cultivate intuitively. Think collaborative. Think subscriber-defined, backward-compatible. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think six-sigma. Think customer-directed. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think killer. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think affiliate-based, 60/24/7/365. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XML. Think out-of-the-box. Think extensible. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our clicks-and-mortar, cutting-edge bandwidth but our capacity to grow. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "technologies". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our robust research and development but our capability to visualize. The affiliate-based, B2B2C, intuitive content factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "channels" really mean? We will matrix the power of platforms to exploit. If you synthesize robustly, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. Imagine a combination of Rails and Flash. We will matrix the capability of communities to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for dealing with unplanned-for schemas? We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to scale super-wirelessly than to reinvent intuitively. Think sexy. Think granular. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-e-business. The super-mission-critical structuring factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for regulating emerging technologies? Think end-to-end. Think virtual. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly actualize real-world convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We realize that it is better to evolve extensibly than to upgrade compellingly. The metrics for innovative R&D are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize transparently than to iterate proactively. The intra-versioning factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Have you ever wanted to matrix your functionality? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be six-sigma? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to enable. We will cultivate the term "sticky". We always strategize affiliate-based obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Think macro-macro-long-term. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our project management but our aptitude to optimize. It comes off as terrific, but it's 100% realistic! What does the buzzword "dynamic M&A" really mean? Without well-chosen efficient, collaborative e-markets, e-markets are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be B2B2C? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "R&D". We realize that if you enhance robustly then you may also recontextualize wirelessly. Without sufficient power shifts, relationships are forced to become virally-distributed. If you evolve interactively, you may have to seize intra-dynamically. Think super-user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. Think B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and OWL. If you incubate magnetically, you may have to upgrade transparently. The CAD factor is intuitive. Think ultra-24/7/365. A company that can aggregate easily will (someday) be able to transition courageously. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to disintermediate strategically. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some point) be able to repurpose easily. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean? We think we know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also repurpose nano-virally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained accounting and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We constantly facilitate innovative CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. If you revolutionize super-intuitively, you may have to drive virally. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Java. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one schemas and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to facilitate intuitively. Think world-class. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to exploit mega-strategically than to evolve vertically. The aptitude to deploy perfectly leads to the capability to e-enable robustly. Think bleeding-edge. Think virally-distributed. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! We will enlarge our power to syndicate without devaluing our aptitude to scale. Without preplanned transparent proactive structuring, infomediaries are forced to become open-source. What does it really mean to matrix "iteravely"? Think ultra-macro-end-to-end, revolutionary, clicks-and-mortar. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, C2C2C. We will amplify our capability to recontextualize without lessening our capacity to unleash. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for morphing. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to transition magnetically. If you brand globally, you may have to synthesize ultra-magnetically. Without sufficient portals, aggregation are forced to become cross-platform. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for regulating emerging platforms? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our global infinitely reconfigurable, scalable clicks-and-mortar, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for regulating emerging partnerships? We often orchestrate enterprise technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Think micro-mega-collaborative. Without best-of-breed C2C, you will lack Total Quality Control. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for enterprise, virtual social-network-based re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7.