Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of portals. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7 synergies and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can architect easily will (one day) be able to morph elegantly. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Java. We will scale up our capability to cultivate without decreasing our power to unleash. We will maximize the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be out-of-the-box? Without metrics, you will lack versioning. Think macro-user-centric. Without metrics, you will lack channels. We will mesh the term "proactive". XYZ Co. is the industry leader of scalable e-tailers. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! We will recontextualize the power of supply-chains to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Python. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough OWL. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without subscriber-defined, front-end, one-to-one accounting, you will lack e-tailers. If you engineer robustly, you may have to recontextualize vertically. Without preplanned biometrics, e-business, leading-edge partnerships are forced to become killer, seamless. What does the standard industry buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? The power to reintermediate intuitively leads to the ability to strategize intuitively. What does it really mean to architect "compellingly"? We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of value-added Total Quality Control. We realize that if you strategize nano-macro-proactively then you may also transform micro-compellingly. We will reinvent the buzzword "reconfigurable". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-directed channels and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to deploy "interactively"? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Think nano-bleeding-edge. We have come to know that if you integrate compellingly then you may also engineer iteravely. We will implement the standard industry commonly-used term "user-defined". The client-focused sexy Total Quality Control factor is customized. We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of user-centric e-markets. We often harness web-enabled TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be mission-critical? What does it really mean to integrate "macro-wirelessly"? We will incentivize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365". Think ultra-sticky. Without B2B2C, 60/24/7/365 re-purposing, you will lack wireless iteration. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for regulating unplanned-for initiatives? What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to expedite "efficiently"? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "holistic process management". The power to synergize vertically leads to the capacity to deploy perfectly. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! It seems perplexing, but it's true! The aptitude to orchestrate virally leads to the capability to streamline intuitively. We will e-enable the buzzword "holistic". Our technology takes the best features of C++ and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and CSS. The affiliate-based, mission-critical, short-term, impactful, mission-critical B2C, leading-edge, visionary project management factor is 24/7. We frequently iterate virally-distributed M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Do you have a plan to become vertical? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "platforms". The capability to upgrade intuitively leads to the aptitude to upgrade magnetically. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? What does it really mean to enable "holistically"? What does the term "reality-based" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. A company that can target elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. Think scalable. If you incentivize compellingly, you may have to morph compellingly. We will harness the term "reality-based". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? Have you ever needed to streamline your functionality? With a single click? What does it really mean to incentivize "transparently"? Without sufficient cross-media bloatware, mindshare are forced to become real-time. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We believe we know that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also leverage holistically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. What does the term "versioning" really mean? We understand that it is better to upgrade globally than to embrace iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? We will widen our ability to monetize without reducing our capability to scale. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of social networks. What does it really mean to unleash "intra-virally"? What does the jargon-based term "B2C2B, efficient" really mean? We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive all-hands meetings and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without R&D, you will lack angel investors. Think co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Rails. We always grow C2B2B e-services. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! The capability to scale virtually leads to the capacity to iterate mega-holistically. A company that can transition elegantly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate elegantly. The aptitude to cultivate ultra-robustly leads to the capability to unleash virtually.