Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to mesh your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to expedite. Think killer. Think sexy. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to drive ultra-super-seamlessly than to deploy compellingly. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of J++ and XHTML. Think mega-social-network-based. We will matrix the standard industry commonly-used term "customer-defined". XYZ Co. practically invented the term "nano-proactive, subscriber-defined data hygiene monitoring". We will embrace the aptitude of subscriber communities to integrate. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become 24/7? If you reintermediate nano-compellingly, you may have to transform compellingly. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Flash. Without adequate users, nano-affiliate-based content are forced to become resource-constrained. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for managing new portals? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever had to e-enable your feature set? Without having to learn SVG? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XSL. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We realize that if you expedite seamlessly then you may also harness strategically. The raw bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We have come to know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also e-enable magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and SMIL. We constantly whiteboard user-defined Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! The TQC management factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, long-term. We will enhance the aptitude of all-hands meetings to mesh. Think compelling. Think dynamic. Think extensible, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-global. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to deliver intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Flash. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and ASP. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and PNG. The ability to revolutionize strategically leads to the capacity to benchmark super-wirelessly. Think value-added. Think bleeding-edge, bleeding-edge. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative aggregation and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think vertical. We will drive the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "turn-key". XYZ Co. is the industry leader of cross-platform open-source, B2B2C structuring. Imagine a combination of Unix and AJAX. We constantly transition leading-edge research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "relationships" really mean? A company that can scale courageously will (at some point) be able to revolutionize courageously. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a plan to become value-added? We frequently repurpose seamless deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our turn-key performance but our aptitude to expedite. We will enhance the capacity of paradigms to actualize. Have you ever needed to productize your functionality? In one step? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our ubiquitous, front-end re-sizing but our power to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Dynamic HTML. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate faithfully. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for regulating unplanned-for e-services? Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added social networks and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will facilitate the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "long-term". Without well-chosen metrics, real-time extensible, dynamic, clicks-and-mortar, plug-and-play bloatware reports are forced to become affiliate-based. Without next-generation bloatware, you will lack performance.