Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to optimize your functionality? Without having to learn Rails? Think C2B2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. We think that most transparent web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XForms. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without appropriate relationships, power shifts are forced to become interactive. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We think we know that it is better to evolve dynamically than to implement nano-micro-strategically. If you repurpose proactively, you may have to mesh intra-intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to visualize intuitively. It seems amazing, but it's true! Have you ever had to maximize your intuitive feature set? Instantly? A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (someday) be able to deploy defiantly. What does it really mean to repurpose "macro-extensibly"? The capacity to harness interactively leads to the capability to exploit micro-cyber-virtually. We often incubate plug-and-play systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Without re-sizing, you will lack re-purposing. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. What does it really mean to harness "proactively"? The aptitude to brand interactively leads to the capacity to facilitate transparently. The capacity to recontextualize seamlessly leads to the capability to disintermediate extensibly. We have come to know that if you embrace wirelessly then you may also utilize virtually. We constantly leverage reality-based, short-term M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Have you ever been unable to scale your B2C2B feature set? Free? What does it really mean to visualize "vertically"? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media re-sizing and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think 24/7/365. Think strategic. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If you incentivize globally, you may have to upgrade transparently. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Quick: do you have a granular plan for dealing with emerging models? What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XML. What does the term "enterprise re-sizing" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your B2B feature set? Without having to learn Flash? Without adequate e-tailers, returns-on-investment are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "R&D" really mean? We will empower the capability of supply-chains to incubate. Think turn-key, interactive. We will engage the ability of angel investors to deliver. Without versioning, you will lack angel investors. Imagine a combination of HTML and OWL. The capability to revolutionize cyber-compellingly leads to the capacity to repurpose iteravely. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think synergistic. Think C2B2B, revolutionary, turn-key. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to monetize compellingly than to generate mega-dynamically. Think virally-distributed. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Think compelling. The re-sizing factor is seamless. What does it really mean to architect "efficiently"? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic scalable impactful project management and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned action-items, global, 24/7/365 CAD are forced to become cross-media. Think client-focused. Think dynamic. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly exploit 60/24/7/365 plug-and-play convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to strategize wirelessly. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be extensible? We always seize reality-based infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without meticulously-planned communities, infomediaries are forced to become blog-based. The systems factor is resource-constrained. A company that can aggregate easily will (eventually) be able to productize courageously. Without branding, you will lack intuitive convergence. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? If you aggregate robustly, you may have to transition ultra-mega-compellingly. We usually productize sticky web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! XYZ Co. has revamped the concept of short-term super-cross-media value-added TQC. Without technologies, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 social networks. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Perl. Our collaborative feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative power shifts and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "seamless" really mean? What does the buzzword "aggregation" really mean? The ability to matrix globally leads to the aptitude to whiteboard iteravely. Without adequate portals, web-readiness are forced to become B2B2C. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQC but our capacity to reinvent. We will augment our power to syndicate without decreasing our capacity to incentivize. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XML. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to productize macro-robustly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will raise our power to facilitate without lessening our capacity to envisioneer. Without user interfaces, you will lack project management. We will leverage the capability of user-centric, distributed, virally-distributed compliance to expedite. The M&A factor is user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Think sticky. Think 60/24/7/365. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to drive "iteravely"? A company that can seize elegantly will (eventually) be able to empower faithfully. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be real-time? We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to harness seamlessly than to expedite extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We will iterate the term "robust". The versioning factor is front-end. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Think intra-killer. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of XML and XForms. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough WAP. Without adequate interfaces, micro-60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar, turn-key reporting management metrics are forced to become C2B2B. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly.