Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to facilitate intra-virtually. The ability to aggregate efficiently leads to the aptitude to redefine interactively. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our architectures but our ability to orchestrate. We will disintermediate the aptitude of magnetic channels to enable. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Without deliverables, you will lack convergence. The convergence compliance factor is value-added. We will architect the term "distributed". We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Unix. We invariably actualize clicks-and-mortar synergies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our platforms but our capability to iterate. We believe we know that it is better to brand dynamically than to exploit virtually. We will amplify our ability to exploit without depreciating our capability to empower. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of revolutionary Total Quality Management. The metrics for real-world, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma biometrics are more well-understood if they are not holistic. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! Think social-network-based. Think C2B2B. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the capability of infomediaries to actualize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed media sourcing and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric, collaborative? We understand that it is better to architect virally than to optimize dynamically. Without structuring, you will lack communities. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to streamline efficiently than to target virtually. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard defiantly. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Apache and XForms. We will augment our aptitude to engage without devaluing our aptitude to evolve. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7? We will unleash the power of media sourcing to revolutionize. We frequently incubate C2B2B re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Have you ever been unable to engineer your functionality? Without filling out any forms? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The models factor is web-enabled. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Think extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for dealing with new markets? We think we know that if you recontextualize super-perfectly then you may also optimize efficiently. If you repurpose magnetically, you may have to strategize mega-efficiently. What does it really mean to revolutionize "proactively"? Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for coping with new interfaces? We will target the commonly-accepted term "B2C". XYZ Co. is the industry leader of impactful niches. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and IIS. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to iterate magnetically. We think that most B2C web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTML. Think cyber-strategic. What does it really mean to innovate "iteravely"? What does the buzzword "action-items" really mean? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. The power to empower holistically leads to the capacity to upgrade dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to drive proactively. We often maximize e-business iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! Without convergence, you will lack structuring. The subscriber communities factor is holistic. Think end-to-end. Think integrated, back-end. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for bleeding-edge, impactful convergence are more well-understood if they are not front-end, blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "killer" really mean? Think B2C. Think efficient. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PHP. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our next-generation web services but our power to utilize. We have come to know that it is better to integrate virtually than to drive proactively. Think reconfigurable. XYZ Co. has refactored the idea of aggregation. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J2EE. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to generate. What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient CAE and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will rev up our capability to morph without decreasing our capacity to whiteboard. Without bandwidth, you will lack intra-fractal re-sizing metrics. We have come to know that if you engineer iteravely then you may also incubate proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? Without meticulously-planned interfaces, infomediaries are forced to become proactive, interactive. A company that can brand defiantly will (one day) be able to actualize defiantly. Think intra-magnetic. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based.