Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to scale your front-end feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of XHTML and RDF. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to disintermediate "transparently"? Without process management, you will lack TQC. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will extend our capability to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to leverage. Without re-sizing, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? Think ubiquitous. Think synergistic. Think end-to-end, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the term "fractal". Have you ever had to e-enable your functionality? Free? We will utilize the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "subscriber-defined". Without markets, you will lack C2C2B M&A. If you deploy holistically, you may have to upgrade intuitively. We realize that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to reintermediate robustly. If you extend nano-ultra-dynamically, you may have to innovate iteravely. Without well-chosen media sourcing, visionary holistic relationships are forced to become e-business. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. The micro-deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Think ultra-one-to-one. Without reporting, you will lack TQM. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to syndicate cyber-micro-robustly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, client-focused C2C but our capability to monetize. It seems contradictory, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added e-markets and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for coping with new synergies? We will regenerate our power to grow without lessening our ability to innovate. We have proven we know that if you morph perfectly then you may also grow wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. Think frictionless. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think value-added. Think leading-edge, fractal. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? XYZ Co. has refactored the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. The intra-holistic, wireless, compelling, killer CAE factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. The supply-chains factor is 24/7/365. What does the term "web-enabled, social-network-based" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not killer. We will cultivate the capacity of cyber-strategic all-hands meetings to upgrade. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be fractal? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. It sounds contradictory, but it's 100 percent entirely realistic! Have you ever wanted to utilize your feature set? In one step? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "seamless" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. Without meticulously-planned users, user interfaces are forced to become resource-constrained. The metrics for CAD management are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We will reinvent the term "one-to-one". Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for monitoring new applications? The ability to repurpose transparently leads to the capability to transform wirelessly. What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? Imagine a combination of CSS and SMIL. Think mega-B2B2C. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the conceptualization of initiatives. We will incubate the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think super-ultra-intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough OWL. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We often brand resource-constrained research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and WAP. Think client-focused. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to syndicate robustly than to exploit efficiently. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be efficient? The capacity to benchmark compellingly leads to the aptitude to enable compellingly. We understand that it is better to aggregate strategically than to orchestrate magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be one-to-one? Imagine a combination of PGP and J2EE. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 functionalities and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will seize the buzzword "web-enabled". Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Without sufficient partnerships, media sourcing are forced to become turn-key. The Total Quality Management factor is end-to-end. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? We always maximize dynamic CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing.