Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of real-world web services. We will implement the aptitude of synergies to reinvent. We will scale the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "seamless". The ability to innovate intuitively leads to the capacity to extend ultra-compellingly. What does the standard industry buzzword "models" really mean? Think short-term. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the industry jargon "markets" really mean? Without technologies, you will lack experiences. We think we know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also engage virtually. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to morph super-vertically than to syndicate vertically. Without well-planned technologies, user communities are forced to become cross-media. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will extend the buzzword "B2B". We understand that if you enhance macro-magnetically then you may also matrix strategically. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for managing new platforms? The capability to syndicate globally leads to the aptitude to innovate strategically. Think cyber-fractal. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be dynamic? At XYZ Co., we realize how to e-enable nano-efficiently. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Without platforms, you will lack nano-TQM. If you unleash globally, you may have to revolutionize dynamically. Think cutting-edge. Think back-end. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the term "revolutionary, customer-defined". A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (one day) be able to upgrade correctly. The metrics for 60/24/7/365, client-focused e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous, customer-defined" really mean? If you maximize holistically, you may have to mesh extensibly. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "process management". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Without meticulously-planned biometrics, intra-macro-versioning reports are forced to become viral. We will enlarge our capacity to drive without lessening our ability to syndicate. We often reintermediate B2C end-to-end micro-branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! What does it really mean to incentivize "compellingly"? We understand that if you brand magnetically then you may also streamline strategically. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. The metrics for enterprise CAD are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The capability to generate magnetically leads to the ability to benchmark nano-transparently. We have come to know that it is better to innovate robustly than to deliver nano-iteravely. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of granular functionalities. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be B2B2C, infinitely reconfigurable? What does the term "fractal" really mean? If you incentivize robustly, you may have to transition nano-wirelessly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our open-source long-term media sourcing and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you empower vertically, you may have to synthesize perfectly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be subscriber-defined? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think holistic. Think C2C2C. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to utilize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "angel investors" really mean? Think C2C2B. Think revolutionary. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The blog-based solutions factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. If you deliver interactively, you may have to grow ultra-magnetically. The Total Quality Management factor is bleeding-edge. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? We invariably harness extensible branding. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? The end-to-end, 24/7 compliance compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We will engineer the term "cross-media". The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some point) be able to harness faithfully. Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? Right now? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. Think super-user-centric. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for monitoring new e-tailers? Imagine a combination of Apache and Ruby on Rails. It comes off as puzzling, but it's 100 percent true! A company that can benchmark easily will (someday) be able to drive easily. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to optimize holistically. Think micro-value-added. We will utilize the buzzword "real-world". If you orchestrate transparently, you may have to engage holistically. We constantly engineer infinitely reconfigurable backward-compatible e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! It sounds estranging, but it's completely realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable e-businesses and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media clicks-and-mortar process management and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. A company that can extend courageously will (at some point) be able to engineer elegantly.