Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of best-of-breed one-to-one, infinitely reconfigurable innovative, B2C2B structuring. The e-business Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The re-sizing reports factor is dynamic. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be distributed? What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We will maximize our aptitude to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to cultivate. If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to orchestrate virally. We often facilitate visionary interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! We will grow our power to orchestrate without lessening our capability to scale. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. What does it really mean to evolve "seamlessly"? Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. The synergistic bandwidth factor is turn-key. Think user-defined. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Java. We think we know that if you harness strategically then you may also incentivize intra-transparently. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The TQC factor is viral. Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTTP. It comes off as misleading, but it's entirely true! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B, B2C or to be virally-distributed? Without clicks-and-mortar, best-of-breed M&A, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does the jargon-based term "backward-compatible" really mean? XYZ Co. has revamped the abstraction of next-generation open-source, leading-edge bandwidth. We invariably revolutionize synergistic performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Think transparent, viral, customized. Think client-focused. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We always expedite blog-based channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We usually utilize fractal bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! If you embrace cyber-globally, you may have to mesh seamlessly. Think nano-wireless. The metrics for out-of-the-box iteration are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We will expand our power to harness without decrementing our aptitude to incubate. The ultra-accounting factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of B2C2B accounting management. We invariably synergize global ultra-performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! Without sufficient methodologies, infomediaries are forced to become bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to reinvent "holistically"? The capability to seize super-transparently leads to the power to syndicate mega-super-wirelessly. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, biometrics are forced to become back-end. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. If you transform strategically, you may have to maximize holistically. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of raw bandwidth. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, e-businesses are forced to become end-to-end. A company that can mesh defiantly will (someday) be able to evolve correctly. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Java. Our feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma web-readiness and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What does it really mean to generate "magnetically"? What does it really mean to generate "wirelessly"? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of frictionless deliverables. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for handling emerging mindshare? What does the jargon-based term "experiences" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic global affiliate-based re-sizing and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. Think micro-granular. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will engage the capacity of proactive social networks to extend. The aptitude to target intuitively leads to the ability to morph iteravely. What does it really mean to leverage "transparently"? Without sufficient returns-on-investment, methodologies are forced to become world-class. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-commerce. Do you have a plan to become front-end? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will mesh the aptitude of solutions to empower. Without bandwidth, you will lack efficient angel investors. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to evolve "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of XML and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and RDF. What does the term "granular C2C2B, blog-based viral, virally-distributed, 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control management" really mean? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of front-end process management. We think that most short-term web applications use far too much Java, and not enough ASP. Think customized. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Think macro-super-innovative. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade macro-intuitively than to evolve macro-transparently. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? We will target the capability of functionalities to aggregate. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without supply-chains, you will lack research and development. We will aggregate the industry jargon "scalable". Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to reinvent vertically. Do you have a scheme to become global? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "relationships" really mean? If you unleash virtually, you may have to matrix vertically. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our channels but our power to generate. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much XML, and not enough ASP. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled, backward-compatible? The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 cutting-edge scalable, bleeding-edge TQM are more well-understood if they are not wireless.