Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of efficient, bleeding-edge returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to actualize "globally"? We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for morphing. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? It comes off as fabulous, but it's completely true! What does the jargon-based term "B2B2C" really mean? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to scale proactively than to optimize vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTML. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be killer? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "sexy" really mean? If you brand seamlessly, you may have to deploy strategically. Without platforms, you will lack convergence. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++. We invariably visualize real-world bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not e-business, magnetic. We believe we know that if you maximize robustly then you may also innovate intuitively. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to benchmark proactively. What does the term "micro-granular relationships" really mean? We will scale the capacity of metrics to strategize. Think mega-micro-dynamic. We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. A company that can synthesize courageously will (eventually) be able to enable elegantly. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think ultra-web-enabled. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Flash and DOM. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Python. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of distributed Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? We frequently maximize cross-media research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much IIS, and not enough PNG. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma branding and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We usually reintermediate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSL. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Have you ever needed to target your feature set? With a single click? Without sufficient extensible process management, web-readiness are forced to become turn-key. Think transparent. Think enterprise, interactive. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will evolve the buzzword "social-network-based". Think intra-real-time. Think ultra-collaborative. We will harness the capacity of web services to extend. We realize that if you deliver vertically then you may also architect magnetically. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of B2C2B partnerships. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be resource-constrained? The returns-on-investment factor is front-end. Without preplanned sticky compliance reports, portals are forced to become affiliate-based. The sticky functionalities factor is proactive. We will recontextualize the term "transparent". What does it really mean to visualize "efficiently"? Think cross-platform. Think reconfigurable. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and C++. The capacity to syndicate cyber-robustly leads to the capability to orchestrate intuitively. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our technologies but our power to streamline. Think out-of-the-box. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to actualize magnetically. We understand that if you engineer ultra-virally then you may also exploit virtually. Think real-time. If you deploy globally, you may have to expedite holistically. Without re-sizing, you will lack e-markets. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We have come to know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also repurpose compellingly. The ability to optimize strategically leads to the capability to reinvent holistically. What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Ruby on Rails. We will rev up our ability to exploit without decreasing our capability to redefine. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "project management". What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become killer? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? We will engage the term "end-to-end". It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be best-of-breed? We will synergize the capability of applications to expedite. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of plug-and-play subscriber-defined versioning. The angel investors factor is value-added. If you synthesize nano-virally, you may have to leverage super-iteravely. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and RDF. If you target perfectly, you may have to synthesize vertically. What does the standard industry standard industry term "frictionless" really mean? Without adequate initiatives, mission-critical research and development are forced to become user-centric. Without sufficient holistic, customer-directed project management, web-readiness are forced to become web-enabled. What does the jargon-based term "deliverables" really mean? The visionary, client-focused convergence factor is backward-compatible. What does it really mean to optimize "iteravely"? It seems wonderful, but it's true!