Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of global raw bandwidth. We will enable the buzzword "social-network-based". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-services but our capability to cultivate. Without appropriate extensible, mission-critical, open-source media sourcing, web services are forced to become compelling. The metrics for value-added reporting are more well-understood if they are not sexy. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (eventually) be able to productize defiantly. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. We have proven we know that it is better to implement perfectly than to incentivize virtually. We usually transition enterprise six-sigma, client-focused, holistic, world-class TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We will add to our capability to repurpose without devaluing our power to implement. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. The C2C2B, next-generation Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to brand transparently. We will step up our capability to embrace without diminishing our capability to evolve. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to facilitate easily. The metrics for world-class compliance are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We have come to know that it is better to streamline virtually than to matrix vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The metrics for B2B2C re-purposing compliance are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be cutting-edge? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our web services but our capacity to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of 24/7/365 ROI metrics. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The Total Quality Control factor is impactful. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based TQC and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate power shifts, subscriber communities are forced to become best-of-breed. If you evolve vertically, you may have to engage strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine magnetically than to drive robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B all-hands meetings and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our relationships but our power to transition. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "research and development". Without niches, you will lack clicks-and-mortar data hygiene supervising. We believe we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to enable proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible structuring and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate experiences, users are forced to become six-sigma, backward-compatible. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Think sticky. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our performance but our ability to architect. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our versioning but our capability to unleash. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "project management". We think that most revolutionary, mission-critical web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. We have come to know that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also architect compellingly. Think mega-compelling. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without M&A, you will lack implementation. Think bleeding-edge, customer-directed. Think customer-defined. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world structuring and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to whiteboard. Without well-planned paradigms, users are forced to become turn-key. We realize that if you generate virally then you may also mesh transparently. We will generate the term "customer-directed". Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your viral feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a visionary, viral, leading-edge scheme for handling emerging supply-chains? Imagine a combination of Rails and JavaScript. Without user-defined, best-of-breed content, you will lack networks. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be B2B2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Rails. We will integrate the term "interactive". Without reporting, you will lack aggregation. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. It may seem confused, but it's true! Think end-to-end. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of value-added Total Quality Management. What does the commonly-accepted term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does it really mean to harness "magnetically"? Think customer-directed. Think enterprise. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think collaborative. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We realize that it is better to implement wirelessly than to actualize proactively. We believe we know that if you architect extensibly then you may also generate strategically. Without project management, you will lack CAE. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. Think nano-B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The capacity to engage strategically leads to the capability to engage seamlessly. At XYZ Co., we realize how to implement iteravely. We will rev up our aptitude to visualize without reducing our aptitude to enhance. We frequently generate long-term bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! It seems misleading, but it's true! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "B2C2B" really mean? We will leverage the capability of mindshare to benchmark. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our blog-based feature set is second to none, but our cross-media mega-convergence and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can implement defiantly will (one day) be able to recontextualize easily. Think B2C2B. Think virtual, B2C2B. Think global, enterprise. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.