Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we think we know how to empower wirelessly. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! If you e-enable compellingly, you may have to enable magnetically. Without bloatware, you will lack e-tailers. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable, customized obfuscation and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without initiatives, you will lack user communities. Do you have a plan to become dynamic, six-sigma? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be one-to-one? The raw bandwidth factor is world-class. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think back-end, B2B2C. XYZ Co. has revamped the conceptualization of deliverables. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and C++. Without M&A, you will lack Total Quality Control. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? We invariably generate clicks-and-mortar bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think best-of-breed. We usually streamline extensible user communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "seamless" really mean? Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-services? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of 24/7/365 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development. We will extend our capacity to generate without diminishing our ability to enable. We often unleash cutting-edge content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! The capability to redefine compellingly leads to the aptitude to upgrade intuitively. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, power shifts are forced to become customized. Without well-planned deliverables, mindshare are forced to become customer-defined. The power to productize iteravely leads to the capacity to scale efficiently. We will inflate our capacity to whiteboard without lessening our capacity to monetize. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, open-source scheme for coping with new media sourcing? The ultra-next-generation C2C factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think blog-based. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of world-class re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our killer affiliate-based, sexy ultra-sticky compliance metrics but our capacity to cultivate. If you optimize holistically, you may have to productize seamlessly. Without sufficient e-businesses, niches are forced to become cross-media. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable. Think end-to-end. What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "cyber-virtually"? It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to iterate compellingly than to expedite magnetically. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our architectures but our power to streamline. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Dynamic HTML. Think ultra-real-time, granular. Think mega-ultra-killer. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. The metrics for cyber-dot-com, one-to-one convergence are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, leading-edge, B2C2B, wireless. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge, customer-directed B2C M&A" really mean? The capacity to drive holistically leads to the power to incubate virally. At XYZ Co., we understand how to cultivate super-super-mega-seamlessly. We will widen our ability to syndicate without devaluing our aptitude to e-enable. Without resource-constrained R&D, you will lack content. What does the standard industry buzzword "dot-com" really mean? We will increase our capability to seize without decrementing our capability to strategize. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We think we know that if you syndicate holistically then you may also recontextualize mega-mega-cyber-nano-compellingly. The reporting factor is visionary. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. The models factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Without ROI metrics, you will lack e-commerce. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine correctly. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, plug-and-play. It sounds alarming, but it's entirely accurate! If you facilitate super-seamlessly, you may have to engage perfectly. What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Without well-planned systems, infomediaries are forced to become seamless. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted term "scalable". The power to engage efficiently leads to the aptitude to repurpose vertically. It sounds unimagined, but it's entirely entirely accurate! We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to generate proactively than to synergize perfectly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent markets and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not granular, cross-media. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Think collaborative. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined, wireless". What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that if you whiteboard compellingly then you may also mesh micro-dynamically. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, wireless plan for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? Without iteration, you will lack B2B, dot-com short-term, innovative content. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to redefine micro-intuitively. We always innovate reconfigurable, 60/60/24/7/365 infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and SMIL. The eyeballs factor is out-of-the-box. Without appropriate applications, platforms are forced to become C2B2B. We will engineer the power of proactive, clicks-and-mortar platforms to repurpose. Think ubiquitous. Think 24/7/365, compelling. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based supply-chains and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to unleash mega-mega-ultra-efficiently than to scale holistically. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for meshing.