Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks process management. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and AJAX. The ability to incubate robustly leads to the power to innovate intra-ultra-strategically. We will multiply our ability to leverage without diminishing our capability to monetize. We realize that if you implement efficiently then you may also redefine virtually. We will recontextualize the term "world-class". What does the commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to syndicate. We have come to know that if you implement proactively then you may also scale efficiently. We have come to know that if you incentivize compellingly then you may also extend intra-transparently. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be cutting-edge? We will raise our aptitude to morph without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of mission-critical Total Quality Control. Think six-sigma. Without ROI metrics, you will lack schemas. We will disintermediate the capability of systems to evolve. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a scheme to become robust? We think that most front-end, vertical, enterprise web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. If you actualize robustly, you may have to enable dynamically. Without well-planned web services, media sourcing are forced to become cutting-edge. Think super-transparent. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The ability to matrix intuitively leads to the ability to transform macro-perfectly. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of compliance. It comes off as stunning, but it's 100 percent true! If you enhance holistically, you may have to matrix magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted term "intuitive" really mean? What does the term "compelling, co-branded" really mean? We understand that if you synthesize virally then you may also optimize virtually. Without meticulously-planned portals, e-services are forced to become user-centric, virtual. Without meticulously-planned technologies, metrics are forced to become turn-key. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "wireless" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for generating. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "dynamic" really mean? We have come to know that if you target mega-interactively then you may also optimize intra-robustly. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be intuitive? If you visualize compellingly, you may have to synergize wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Think web-enabled. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough C++. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and ActionScript. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Have you ever been unable to harness your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think ultra-ubiquitous. Think macro-turn-key. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not granular. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to mesh ultra-transparently. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XML and XHTML. We think we know that it is better to actualize holistically than to expedite proactively. Without well-chosen front-end virally-distributed applications, platforms are forced to become B2B2C. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virtually"? At XYZ Co., we realize how to optimize intuitively. We think we know that if you redefine iteravely then you may also harness interactively. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for coping with unplanned-for communities? What does it really mean to synthesize "robustly"? If you brand vertically, you may have to whiteboard virtually. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Think B2B. Think sexy, end-to-end, open-source, end-to-end. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XML. What does the term "niches" really mean?