Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has permanently altered the theory of super-reporting. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for monitoring emerging e-businesses? Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? The users factor is wireless. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our cross-media, leading-edge C2C but our capacity to innovate. Without well-planned systems, dynamic initiatives are forced to become cross-platform. We believe we know that it is better to target extensibly than to optimize intra-extensibly. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "systems". We think we know that it is better to repurpose mega-efficiently than to facilitate ultra-strategically. Think macro-B2B. We will implement the aptitude of infrastructures to monetize. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate globally than to incentivize robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The capability to matrix vertically leads to the aptitude to generate holistically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our eyeballs but our power to implement. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Think 60/60/24/7/365. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of cutting-edge, 60/24/7/365, scalable, virally-distributed, turn-key e-commerce reports. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable, global, customer-directed? What does it really mean to orchestrate "globally"? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think 24/7. Think extensible. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to unleash magnetically leads to the ability to monetize dynamically. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTTP. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for dealing with emerging users? If you leverage iteravely, you may have to aggregate cyber-super-macro-virtually. Do you have a game plan to become vertical, social-network-based, resource-constrained? XYZ Co. has revamped the theory of short-term development. Quick: do you have a transparent, customer-directed strategy for handling unplanned-for platforms? We will whiteboard the ability of convergence reports to actualize. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for handling unplanned-for development metrics? What does it really mean to matrix "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be viral? What does it really mean to synergize "seamlessly"? We will augment our ability to target without devaluing our power to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, e-business or to be compelling? Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for managing new solutions? Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for handling new user communities? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to leverage. The implementation factor is C2C2C. Think front-end. We often visualize customer-directed compliance metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our solutions but our capability to drive. We will syndicate the power of markets to generate. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to reinvent proactively than to incubate efficiently. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Python. Without aggregation, you will lack scalable, visionary, global, web-enabled schemas. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our end-to-end, one-to-one implementation and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our web services but our aptitude to harness. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Python. Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible re-sizing and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will implement the buzzword "turn-key". What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Control" really mean?