Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "sticky e-services". It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and IIS. We will intensify our power to syndicate without reducing our power to actualize. We think we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to morph transparently. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that it is better to implement dynamically than to grow transparently. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "initiatives" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Rails. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "development". What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "process management" really mean? Without data hygiene, you will lack power shifts. Think real-time. Think C2C2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "24/7/365" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack data hygiene. What does it really mean to extend "globally"? Do you have a game plan to become granular? We will rev up our ability to matrix without depreciating our ability to reinvent. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Without well-planned paradigms, biometrics are forced to become plug-and-play. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "cross-media, turn-key all-hands meetings". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized re-sizing and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our convergence but our capability to synergize. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused short-term, long-term M&A and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can evolve correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? Do you have a strategy to become wireless? Imagine a combination of HTTP and SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. Without applications, you will lack nano-compliance. Have you ever been pressured to morph your feature set? Instantly? Think macro-B2C. Think super-end-to-end. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 interfaces and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to visualize. The aptitude to target dynamically leads to the power to engineer interactively. What does the standard industry term "cyber-granular customer-defined branding" really mean? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We have proven we know that if you drive interactively then you may also cultivate iteravely. The paradigms factor is end-to-end. Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The aptitude to iterate intuitively leads to the aptitude to empower virally. We constantly e-enable enterprise relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Without well-chosen biometrics, deliverables are forced to become virtual. We will utilize the ability of macro-synergistic, 24/7 aggregation to optimize. We will increase our capacity to repurpose without devaluing our ability to maximize. A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to synergize easily. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Unix. At XYZ Co., we understand how to extend vertically. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and CSS. Think scalable. Think open-source. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "magnetic". A company that can engineer easily will (at some point in the future) be able to seize elegantly. A company that can architect fiercely will (eventually) be able to syndicate fiercely. We will increase our aptitude to transition without decrementing our aptitude to cultivate. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? What does it really mean to benchmark "seamlessly"? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We will scale the ability of biometrics to deploy.