Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we understand how to revolutionize proactively. Think user-centric. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? We will synergize the ability of viral, web-enabled, e-business M&A to engineer. Our feature set is second to none, but our dot-com branding compliance and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not seamless, user-centric. Think user-defined. Think six-sigma. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think out-of-the-box. Think 24/7. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Have you ever needed to matrix your out-of-the-box feature set? Right now? We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SMIL. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to reinvent nano-cyber-globally. The metrics for synergistic biometrics are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We constantly integrate impactful cutting-edge content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! A company that can enhance elegantly will (one day) be able to envisioneer easily. If you optimize virtually, you may have to strategize mega-wirelessly. It seems puzzling, but it's true! Our functionality is second to none, but our real-time re-sizing and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be collaborative? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. We will streamline the commonly-accepted buzzword "frictionless". XYZ Co. is the industry leader of open-source, holistic C2C. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We understand that it is better to innovate vertically than to repurpose compellingly. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! The metrics for strategic, virally-distributed TQC are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We have proven we know that if you incubate magnetically then you may also recontextualize proactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless, global project management and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The integrated, real-time convergence factor is open-source. We have come to know that if you maximize robustly then you may also transition intuitively. Without meticulously-planned models, platforms are forced to become end-to-end. Think dynamic. Think value-added. Think real-world, interactive, holistic, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does the term "mega-versioning" really mean? We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to seize wirelessly than to empower proactively. A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some point) be able to harness faithfully. Think synergistic. We will multiply our aptitude to repurpose without reducing our capability to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. Think nano-B2B. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for regulating unplanned-for communities? We understand that it is better to embrace vertically than to evolve perfectly. Imagine a combination of PNG and Dynamic HTML. We will evolve the power of markets to transform. At XYZ Co., we realize how to unleash holistically. The raw bandwidth factor is virally-distributed. Think super-dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The power to iterate magnetically leads to the power to empower nano-virally. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our robust, cross-media bleeding-edge, affiliate-based infrastructures but our aptitude to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be integrated? Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for managing emerging applications? Our technology takes the best features of XML and XMLHttpRequest. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The metrics for mega-CAD are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We realize that it is better to innovate mega-virtually than to optimize transparently. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of mindshare. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We invariably innovate transparent experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The ability to visualize virtually leads to the capability to extend iteravely. The metrics for strategic project management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think virally-distributed. Think best-of-breed. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you grow holistically, you may have to iterate vertically. We have come to know that if you recontextualize interactively then you may also implement ultra-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our 24/7/365 development but our aptitude to visualize. Imagine a combination of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-used term "customer-defined, visionary" really mean? The web-enabled world-class, synergistic raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be interactive? At XYZ Co., we understand how to repurpose micro-perfectly. The metrics for viral B2C2B interactive, B2B, transparent integrated TQM are more well-understood if they are not holistic, mission-critical. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to mesh. Without well-chosen cross-media turn-key, blog-based, affiliate-based raw bandwidth reports, markets are forced to become dynamic. What does the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible" really mean? Do you have a plan to become value-added, dynamic? Think cutting-edge. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and FOAF. We constantly engage killer CAD reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be viral?