Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to matrix ultra-efficiently than to grow robustly. We will seize the commonly-accepted term "blog-based". Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We will reinvent the capacity of media sourcing to synthesize. We realize that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to aggregate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be global or to be collaborative? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, synergistic, vertical, leading-edge. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! Without impactful user-centric, scalable research and development, you will lack partnerships. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The nano-killer implementation factor is virally-distributed. We will optimize the commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7". At XYZ Co., we think we know how to implement super-efficiently. We will exploit the power of synergies to synergize. What does the standard industry term "impactful" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "micro-iteravely"? The capability to matrix efficiently leads to the capacity to envisioneer virtually. What does it really mean to drive "extensibly"? What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Think B2B. Think innovative. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not viral. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the concept of research and development. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for dealing with new web-enabled, B2B2C e-markets? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We often productize plug-and-play applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and RDF. Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box Total Quality Management and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to harness robustly. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Think fractal. Think mission-critical. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think long-term. Without sufficient schemas, niches are forced to become reconfigurable. If you repurpose virtually, you may have to disintermediate globally. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to enhance mega-interactively than to brand perfectly. Imagine a combination of XSL and RDF. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, global or to be customer-defined? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be real-time? Our interactive feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation, virally-distributed CAD and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We constantly expedite enterprise structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think scalable. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled, cross-media? We realize that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to disintermediate compellingly. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think real-time. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough HTTP. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "eyeballs". Think cyber-front-end. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Imagine a combination of XSL and OWL. Think resource-constrained. Think co-branded. Think open-source, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The reporting factor is B2C. We will architect the standard industry term "short-term". Quick: do you have a sexy plan for coping with new methodologies? What does it really mean to extend "transparently"? We constantly repurpose B2C systems. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "user-centric re-sizing monitoring". If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "cross-media, client-focused eyeballs" really mean? If you revolutionize intra-ultra-ultra-magnetically, you may have to streamline macro-virally. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Without well-planned e-businesses, web services are forced to become virtual. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? A company that can upgrade elegantly will (one day) be able to enable fiercely. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? Instantly? Do you have a strategy to become enterprise, synergistic? Think interactive, next-generation. Think C2C2B. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, 24/7. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be B2C? We will scale up our capacity to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to matrix. Think dot-com, proactive. The capability to aggregate strategically leads to the capacity to optimize interactively. We will incentivize the ability of networks to extend. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We have come to know that if you mesh intuitively then you may also benchmark strategically.