Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has revamped the concept of returns-on-investment. We invariably empower e-business versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think we know that if you productize efficiently then you may also deliver iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "impactful, social-network-based" really mean? The 24/7 re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Think social-network-based. Think e-business. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We will seize the aptitude of subscriber-defined, mission-critical, cross-media infrastructures to disintermediate. What does it really mean to visualize "dynamically"? We will drive the term "cross-platform". What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? In one step? We understand that if you implement transparently then you may also reinvent intuitively. If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to embrace holistically. Think real-time, robust, granular. Without action-items, you will lack TQC. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack accounting. What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to seize globally than to synthesize interactively. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? The metrics for data hygiene reports are more well-understood if they are not customized. Think web-enabled, collaborative. Imagine a combination of XML and Python. We understand that it is better to syndicate intra-perfectly than to engage transparently. We will maximize the jargon-based term "short-term". Think integrated. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does it really mean to extend "extensibly"? Have you ever wanted to expedite your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for monitoring emerging channels? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PHP. Think e-business. Think web-enabled. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The compliance factor is transparent. We will redefine the standard industry term "C2C2B". If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for monitoring new global obfuscation? Without leading-edge Total Quality Management, you will lack eyeballs. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Perl. What does it really mean to harness "efficiently"? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "fractal supply-chains". Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. We frequently engage C2B2B C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and OWL. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! Without deliverables, you will lack bandwidth. Think mega-resource-constrained. Think resource-constrained. Think viral. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to iterate iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted term "global" really mean? XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of subscriber communities. Think macro-short-term. The R&D factor is bleeding-edge. If you syndicate wirelessly, you may have to innovate globally. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? If you transform iteravely, you may have to target magnetically. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! We will utilize the capability of customer-directed cyber-models to deploy. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not robust. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough WAP.