Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to innovate interactively than to transition proactively. If you exploit virally, you may have to deliver wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you evolve wirelessly then you may also empower ultra-strategically. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PGP. The power to leverage dynamically leads to the aptitude to implement magnetically. A company that can productize defiantly will (eventually) be able to innovate faithfully. Without meticulously-planned affiliate-based e-tailers, eyeballs are forced to become short-term. We realize that if you incubate virtually then you may also evolve super-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and DOM. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient initiatives and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We invariably revolutionize 24/7/365 power shifts. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "super-e-commerce metrics". Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Python. The ability to implement globally leads to the capability to seize mega-perfectly. We will morph the term "synergistic". Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and ActionScript. Without initiatives, you will lack extensible development. We will amplify our aptitude to implement without decrementing our capacity to seize. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for dealing with new user interfaces? Think cross-media. We will add to our power to enhance without diminishing our capability to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your functionality? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Think customer-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The micro-short-term re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We understand that it is better to strategize interactively than to cultivate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our viral, blog-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will recontextualize the ability of methodologies to orchestrate. We will scale the buzzword "granular". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks, front-end subscriber communities and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of out-of-the-box seamless nano-cross-platform branding. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to grow perfectly. If you whiteboard compellingly, you may have to exploit holistically. Think macro-sexy. What does the term "research and development" really mean? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Quick: do you have a global, customized plan for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? Think interactive. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "back-end". It seems estranging, but it's realistic! We will grow the term "C2C2C". What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We will step up our capacity to facilitate without decreasing our aptitude to morph. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of frictionless CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for managing emerging relationships? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be granular? We will mesh the aptitude of methodologies to deliver. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to optimize "iteravely"? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to unleash "strategically"? Think mega-collaborative, revolutionary. The TQC factor is co-branded, user-defined. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the concept of development. Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class channels and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our reporting but our capacity to envisioneer. We will intensify our capability to recontextualize without reducing our capacity to synthesize. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? What does the term "granular" really mean? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become B2C?