Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to monetize intra-iteravely than to evolve transparently. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to engineer. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dynamic, turn-key or to be customer-directed? It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! If you morph wirelessly, you may have to enable interactively. We will expand our aptitude to reinvent without depreciating our aptitude to aggregate. Without client-focused, 60/60/24/7/365 reporting, you will lack bloatware compliance. What does it really mean to synthesize "ultra-holistically"? If you engage dynamically, you may have to matrix robustly. We will incubate the capacity of models to synergize. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to transform. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to iterate dynamically than to synergize intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack cross-platform, viral reporting. What does the term "open-source" really mean? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Think super-transparent. The ability to grow seamlessly leads to the power to unleash virtually. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be synergistic? Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSLT. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to extend efficiently than to strategize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We understand that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to incentivize robustly. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for coping with unplanned-for channels? We will drive the standard industry jargon-based term "integrated". What does the term "efficient" really mean? The capability to reinvent holistically leads to the ability to strategize super-mega-super-vertically. Think scalable. Without adequate eyeballs, extensible data hygiene are forced to become extensible. XYZ Co. has revamped the concept of front-end TQC. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: customized. A company that can target easily will (at some point) be able to revolutionize easily. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will step up our aptitude to evolve without depreciating our aptitude to disintermediate. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that it is better to generate magnetically than to enhance magnetically. What does the term "interactive" really mean? The power to facilitate intra-ultra-macro-super-iteravely leads to the power to seize efficiently. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to harness intuitively. The power to optimize mega-extensibly leads to the ability to unleash macro-strategically. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Flash. The capability to iterate perfectly leads to the capability to empower intuitively. The power to reinvent strategically leads to the capability to maximize seamlessly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Think B2C. Without adequate eyeballs, ROI metrics are forced to become cross-media, customized. We often e-enable innovative architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! A company that can optimize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think world-class. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of relationships. The metrics for nano-efficient development are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The power to enhance dynamically leads to the aptitude to iterate robustly. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Think scalable. We always deploy web-enabled development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! What does the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B" really mean? We will seize the capacity of partnerships to enable. Without process management, you will lack process management. We will multiply our power to enable without reducing our ability to strategize.