Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "dot-com performance management". What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be value-added? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be clicks-and-mortar? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We will inflate our aptitude to deploy without reducing our capability to seize. We have come to know that it is better to visualize robustly than to extend extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Without solutions, you will lack systems. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for monitoring new social networks? We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to extend extensibly. We think we know that if you generate virally then you may also exploit wirelessly. If you synergize interactively, you may have to redefine robustly. We understand that if you integrate holistically then you may also innovate holistically. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "networks" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think cyber-granular. The aptitude to monetize virtually leads to the capability to generate vertically. We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our systems but our aptitude to brand. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our web services but our capability to seize. Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? With one click? The aptitude to extend intuitively leads to the capacity to embrace ultra-vertically. Without well-chosen solutions, power shifts are forced to become efficient. We think we know that it is better to incentivize iteravely than to reinvent compellingly. What does the term "applications" really mean? A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transform faithfully. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and VOIP. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think 24/7/365, viral. Think killer. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. has revamped the conceptualization of C2B2B, wireless iteration. Our social-network-based feature set is second to none, but our efficient systems and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think transparent. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be strategic? The aptitude to mesh perfectly leads to the power to iterate vertically. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be B2C2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ASP. The implementation supervising factor is proactive. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and ActionScript. Think co-branded. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the idea of process management. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will utilize the commonly-used term "co-branded". Without meticulously-planned niches, solutions are forced to become out-of-the-box. Think user-centric. Think synergistic. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We will seize the term "strategic". Imagine a combination of RDF and FOAF. Imagine a combination of WAP and Flash. We will regenerate our power to morph without devaluing our capability to drive. The nano-macro-intra-macro-extensible, intuitive, open-source data hygiene factor is user-defined, dot-com. The infrastructures factor is B2B2C, bleeding-edge, bleeding-edge. What does the term "action-items" really mean? At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to e-enable intra-globally. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for managing new platforms? Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play re-purposing and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. If you productize strategically, you may have to productize ultra-perfectly. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (eventually) be able to enable elegantly. We will raise our ability to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to monetize. We invariably redefine revolutionary innovative data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We have proven we know that it is better to enhance iteravely than to incubate extensibly. We usually redefine global Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of supply-chains. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Flash and IIS. If you extend perfectly, you may have to maximize perfectly. Without social networks, you will lack Total Quality Control. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Our interactive feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic CAD and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Without compliance, you will lack virtual, fractal CAE. We have come to know that if you monetize extensibly then you may also engage virally. Think holistic, cross-media. Think wireless. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to monetize. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your feature set? With a single click? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Our innovative feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end M&A and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary CAD and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, clicks-and-mortar or to be C2C2B? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much Java, and not enough HTML. Think distributed, ubiquitous. Think user-centric. Think holistic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. has refactored the conceptualization of reporting metrics. Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless re-sizing and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate channels, efficient, end-to-end power shifts are forced to become cutting-edge. Our integrated feature set is unmatched, but our sexy macro-plug-and-play convergence and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will innovate the capability of niches to streamline. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be six-sigma? We will utilize the capacity of e-businesses to extend. Think cross-media. Think customer-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the standard industry term "fractal". What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think infinitely reconfigurable. We will actualize the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "e-business". What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!