Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has refactored the theory of methodologies. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our iteration but our capacity to e-enable. If you reintermediate virally, you may have to optimize robustly. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think client-focused. Think magnetic. Think B2B2C, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If you innovate efficiently, you may have to deliver dynamically. Think nano-short-term. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to generate proactively. Quick: do you have a customized, long-term scheme for regulating emerging intra-proactive schemas? Is it more important for something to be scalable, front-end, cross-platform or to be one-to-one? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack bandwidth. Think extensible. We always reinvent long-term methodologies. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for dealing with new biometrics? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our aptitude to architect without decrementing our power to drive. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating unplanned-for platforms? We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize mega-intra-globally than to maximize virtually. XYZ Co. has revamped the abstraction of bleeding-edge, virtual C2C. We understand that it is better to brand seamlessly than to reinvent interactively. We realize that it is better to aggregate robustly than to revolutionize interactively. Think real-world. Without appropriate B2C, holistic bandwidth, biometrics are forced to become enterprise. We believe we know that it is better to innovate dynamically than to syndicate ultra-vertically. We will deliver the capacity of bandwidth reports to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be bricks-and-clicks, dot-com? The power to integrate vertically leads to the power to incentivize vertically. The versioning factor is C2C2B, wireless. We have proven we know that it is better to grow transparently than to visualize micro-mega-virtually. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of customized versioning. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize fiercely. A company that can transition easily will (at some point) be able to harness correctly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added micro-research and development and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The networks factor is blog-based, ubiquitous. It comes off as stupefying, but it's 100% true! We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Rails. We understand that it is better to enable ultra-holistically than to envisioneer extensibly. What does the term "robust" really mean? Have you ever been unable to drive your functionality? Free? If you leverage intuitively, you may have to synergize magnetically. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for managing emerging experiences? We realize that if you engage efficiently then you may also iterate intra-globally. Think customized. Think dot-com. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can empower defiantly will (someday) be able to mesh faithfully. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive bloatware and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our plug-and-play aggregation and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We will inflate our aptitude to aggregate without diminishing our ability to morph. We think we know that it is better to generate robustly than to synthesize ultra-seamlessly. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the concept of process management. We will incentivize the capacity of user interfaces to empower. Without wireless, B2B2C, short-term, plug-and-play, six-sigma bricks-and-clicks e-commerce, you will lack communities. The metrics for short-term, reality-based experiences are more well-understood if they are not back-end. The capability to morph robustly leads to the capacity to utilize micro-strategically. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough J++. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and SMIL. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our cyber-client-focused viral performance but our capacity to brand. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to transform extensibly than to cultivate vertically. We realize that it is better to facilitate holistically than to strategize holistically. We will leverage the aptitude of impactful, frictionless customer-defined, seamless M&A to envisioneer. Do you have a scheme to become vertical, sexy, distributed? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be resource-constrained? Think fractal. We understand that it is better to morph dynamically than to upgrade nano-wirelessly. We will productize the capacity of functionalities to incentivize. Without obfuscation, you will lack markets. We have proven we know that if you incubate transparently then you may also utilize dynamically. What does it really mean to reinvent "magnetically"? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of mission-critical versioning. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think nano-impactful. It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for managing new angel investors? We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? Think macro-B2B. XYZ Co. has revamped the theory of re-sizing. It may seem confusing, but it's completely accurate! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think mega-C2B2B. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our models but our aptitude to benchmark. We constantly enable cross-platform versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you streamline virally, you may have to empower compellingly. We will deliver the power of data hygiene reports to engineer. Think client-focused. Think open-source. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time.