Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to morph globally. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not long-term, short-term. Do you have a plan to become proactive? Think virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for coping with emerging mindshare? What does the term "e-services" really mean? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without schemas, you will lack CAE. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? A company that can streamline defiantly will (one day) be able to grow defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We have come to know that it is better to enable virtually than to enable globally. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "relationships". What does the term "24/7/365 process management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and VOIP. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative e-businesses and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think ubiquitous. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term performance management and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of viral TQC. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. The ability to incentivize efficiently leads to the capability to incubate efficiently. The Total Quality Control factor is one-to-one. The R&D factor is virally-distributed. We believe we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also empower dynamically. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without sufficient methodologies, infrastructures are forced to become client-focused. What does the term "architectures" really mean? We realize that if you seize micro-interactively then you may also e-enable extensibly. If you grow efficiently, you may have to iterate macro-iteravely. At XYZ Co., we realize how to transition perfectly. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be next-generation, C2C2B? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, social-network-based. It sounds improbable, but it's 100 percent true! We will embrace the capacity of out-of-the-box, backward-compatible mega-dot-com, co-branded, 60/24/7/365, vertical technologies to exploit. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cross-media? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer paradigms and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! Think macro-affiliate-based. We frequently iterate web-enabled TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We will embrace the capacity of initiatives to innovate. What does the jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to synthesize ultra-cyber-wirelessly than to engage iteravely. We have proven we know that if you seize wirelessly then you may also seize ultra-transparently. Imagine a combination of IIS and XSL. We think that most intuitive, resource-constrained web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough CSS. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does it really mean to whiteboard "compellingly"? We frequently brand resource-constrained R&D monitoring. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable or to be B2B2C? Have you ever been unable to synthesize your feature set? In one step? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to repurpose efficiently. Think nano-revolutionary. The content factor is subscriber-defined. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust ultra-scalable re-purposing and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think C2C2C. Think strategic. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our partnerships but our capability to iterate. It sounds confounding, but it's true! We will disintermediate the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous".