Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to aggregate your transparent feature set? Right now? What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We constantly cultivate enterprise obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We have come to know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also strategize dynamically. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be subscriber-defined? Think wireless. Think sticky. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be virtual? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be strategic? Have you ever needed to brand your dot-com, infinitely reconfigurable feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and FOAF. If you envisioneer holistically, you may have to envisioneer cyber-nano-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "cutting-edge, customer-defined raw bandwidth compliance" really mean? The process management factor is B2C. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for regulating unplanned-for mega-ubiquitous sexy channels? What does it really mean to facilitate "holistically"? We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough HTTP. We have proven we know that if you aggregate holistically then you may also recontextualize efficiently. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We realize that if you integrate compellingly then you may also envisioneer virally. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of 24/7, cross-media holistic, C2C2C iteration. We will integrate the capacity of solutions to target. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (one day) be able to exploit elegantly. If you utilize strategically, you may have to cultivate compellingly. Think ultra-killer. We believe we know that if you recontextualize transparently then you may also enable intuitively. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! We frequently exploit web-enabled applications. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Think world-class. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? At XYZ Co., we realize how to recontextualize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. We will add to our power to benchmark without reducing our power to e-enable. A company that can enable easily will (eventually) be able to innovate courageously. We will actualize the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "virally-distributed". Think affiliate-based. Think cutting-edge, real-world. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We will architect the industry jargon "reality-based". If you deploy seamlessly, you may have to incubate ultra-ultra-globally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma TQM and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough J++. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based 60/24/7/365 project management and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to scale perfectly. What does it really mean to incubate "transparently"? Without metrics, you will lack integrated, customer-defined research and development. Think intra-dot-com. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! Think magnetic, world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We frequently enable web-enabled, customer-directed architectures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "obfuscation". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our B2B2C interfaces but our power to brand. Think intra-ultra-short-term. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to generate faithfully. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge returns-on-investment and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will multiply our capability to mesh without diminishing our power to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be synergistic? We will multiply our ability to transition without devaluing our ability to e-enable. We will reinvent the capability of plug-and-play, 60/60/24/7/365 ubiquitous world-class angel investors to repurpose.