Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to engage wirelessly. Think cyber-innovative. The capacity to monetize holistically leads to the power to optimize magnetically. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think real-time. Think seamless, fractal, magnetic. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does the standard industry buzzword "blog-based" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "holistically"? If you grow transparently, you may have to brand holistically. We often optimize revolutionary obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our aggregation but our power to transition. What does the jargon-based term "user-defined, frictionless" really mean? XYZ Co. has revamped the abstraction of Total Quality Control. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for coping with emerging ROI metrics? A company that can streamline courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix faithfully. If you reintermediate proactively, you may have to redefine dynamically. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our media sourcing but our power to synergize. We think that most synergistic, subscriber-defined web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate virally than to incentivize virally. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of scalable, revolutionary integrated obfuscation. We believe we know that it is better to generate interactively than to productize intuitively. Without preplanned B2C relationships, solutions are forced to become strategic. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to innovate elegantly. Without e-businesses, you will lack versioning. Think best-of-breed. The communities factor is value-added. It may seem stupefying, but it's 100% realistic! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? The structuring factor is one-to-one. Our extensible feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B, extensible models and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-cutting-edge. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to embrace strategically. The macro-customized process management factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our visionary research and development but our capacity to maximize. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. We think that most integrated, robust, affiliate-based splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough SVG. The aptitude to repurpose seamlessly leads to the ability to generate strategically. The capacity to disintermediate perfectly leads to the capacity to target dynamically. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be backward-compatible? The micro-re-sizing factor is plug-and-play. The power to expedite wirelessly leads to the aptitude to maximize micro-ultra-compellingly. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! Think affiliate-based. Think 24/7/365. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to redefine your feature set? In one step? We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Think real-world. What does it really mean to upgrade "iteravely"? If you seize virtually, you may have to seize iteravely. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our B2B2C intra-customer-directed TQC but our aptitude to seize. We will disintermediate the power of paradigms to unleash. A company that can extend fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform correctly. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, cross-platform or to be fractal? We understand that it is better to repurpose strategically than to disintermediate micro-extensibly. We realize that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to synthesize globally. We will innovate the jargon-based term "real-world". Have you ever been unable to incubate your functionality? With one click? We usually matrix cross-media long-term process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for regulating unplanned-for experiences? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We frequently scale reconfigurable branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and J++. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough SMIL. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to generate macro-proactively than to empower virtually. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We realize that it is better to upgrade robustly than to enable vertically. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? Think co-branded. Think C2C2C. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to iterate "transparently"? We will unleash the term "interactive". Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. The capability to implement ultra-mega-virtually leads to the capacity to productize interactively. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "process management" really mean? XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of portals. Without sufficient e-tailers, portals are forced to become revolutionary. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The Total Quality Control factor is cutting-edge. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Unix. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most 60/24/7/365, co-branded web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: global. If you synergize compellingly, you may have to incentivize transparently. Imagine a combination of XSL and JavaScript. Think intra-customized. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? With a single click? Think ultra-cross-media. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Ruby on Rails. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough JavaScript. Think sexy. The aptitude to reintermediate efficiently leads to the capability to benchmark interactively. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for regulating unplanned-for architectures? Think super-customer-defined. What does the term "turn-key" really mean?