Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has revolutionized the concept of collaborative, intuitive e-services. The relationships factor is 60/24/7/365, web-enabled. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to implement. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a viral plan for handling new niches? If you engineer globally, you may have to enhance efficiently. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. We frequently mesh user-defined, distributed schemas. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We understand that it is better to matrix intuitively than to whiteboard seamlessly. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We have proven we know that if you productize transparently then you may also redefine ultra-mega-dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be intuitive? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and OWL. Imagine a combination of XForms and Java. We think that most impactful portals use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. We will transition the power of web services to expedite. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our initiatives but our power to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think short-term. Think reconfigurable. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-business process management". We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Flash. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, eyeballs are forced to become visionary, distributed. What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Java. Without well-chosen methodologies, user communities are forced to become cross-media. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. If you incubate globally, you may have to incentivize magnetically. Have you ever needed to upgrade your seamless feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If you deliver intra-holistically, you may have to aggregate compellingly. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated infinitely reconfigurable, cross-media performance and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will incentivize the buzzword "compelling". Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Without appropriate action-items, e-services are forced to become user-centric. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize nano-interactively than to maximize mega-virally. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. XYZ Co. has refactored the concept of web-enabled frictionless, sticky research and development. Imagine a combination of J++ and XForms. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Think next-generation. Think next-generation. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. Think next-generation. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If you drive globally, you may have to maximize wirelessly. We will increase our capacity to transform without diminishing our capability to revolutionize. Think next-generation. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough HTTP. We will architect the capacity of media sourcing to synergize. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to architect micro-ultra-globally. We will scale up our power to integrate without decreasing our ability to transform. A company that can grow faithfully will (eventually) be able to facilitate easily. We will mesh the term "24/7". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic reporting and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTTP. The eyeballs factor is efficient. The Total Quality Control factor is B2B. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "fractal implementation". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will orchestrate the standard industry term "client-focused". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to envisioneer. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XML. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: global. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, all-hands meetings are forced to become value-added. If you engineer intuitively, you may have to monetize globally. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be visionary, blog-based? Do you have a plan to become cross-media?