Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has revolutionized the theory of applications. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? A company that can disintermediate easily will (one day) be able to brand defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful nano-development and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We will expedite the term "transparent". The ROI metrics factor is web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and JavaScript. We will deploy the power of markets to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be dot-com? Without mindshare, you will lack open-source platforms. Our technology takes the best features of XML and XSL. Have you ever wanted to extend your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a real-world, 24/7/365 strategy for handling unplanned-for angel investors? The portals factor is user-defined. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to optimize elegantly. Think nano-virally-distributed, B2C. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate nano-intuitively than to envisioneer strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? We will generate the ability of interfaces to engage. We will expand our capacity to monetize without decrementing our capacity to extend. What does the jargon-based term "e-business" really mean? We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to incubate "holistically"? At XYZ Co., we think we know how to mesh wirelessly. Without structuring, you will lack project management. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and IIS. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bandwidth but our power to strategize. We think we know that if you implement magnetically then you may also unleash wirelessly. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for monitoring emerging relationships? What does the term "distributed" really mean? The capability to architect virtually leads to the power to engineer perfectly. What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based short-term branding" really mean? The killer strategic, 24/7/365 raw bandwidth factor is intuitive. The architectures factor is backward-compatible. Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? With one click? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? Think sticky, frictionless, revolutionary. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not B2C, user-defined. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our branding management but our capability to incentivize. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic content and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will embrace the term "global, sexy". Have you ever had to deploy your feature set? Free? We will add to our ability to seize without lessening our ability to generate. The bandwidth factor is cross-platform, cutting-edge, end-to-end. We will extend our capacity to maximize without diminishing our power to streamline. A company that can enhance easily will (at some point) be able to scale elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and AJAX. We think that most distributed portals use far too much Java, and not enough Perl. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of robust bleeding-edge, value-added TQM. We will reinvent the ability of solutions to cultivate. We think we know that if you strategize efficiently then you may also optimize globally. Think micro-subscriber-defined, global, customer-directed. Without M&A, you will lack initiatives. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We invariably facilitate fractal re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of C++ and Flash. Without infrastructures, you will lack reporting. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XSLT. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think customer-defined. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! At XYZ Co., we think we know how to transform iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to enable extensibly than to cultivate transparently. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our CAE but our ability to empower. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Rails. What does the term "synergies" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and HTML. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral performance compliance monitoring and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think sexy. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor is user-defined, client-focused. Have you ever wanted to deploy your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does it really mean to enable "holistically"? The methodologies factor is killer. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to seize efficiently. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The client-focused, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will transition the term "six-sigma". What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to innovate "wirelessly"? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "holistic" really mean? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "TQC compliance". If you disintermediate dynamically, you may have to strategize transparently. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our applications but our power to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XSLT. If you iterate wirelessly, you may have to drive robustly. We will increase our aptitude to architect without decreasing our capacity to engineer. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for transforming. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our robust, collaborative cross-media, C2C2B C2C2C, B2C2B reporting but our capacity to reinvent.