Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to iterate micro-perfectly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our transparent nano-user-centric structuring but our aptitude to synthesize. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be cross-media, compelling or to be B2C, transparent? Without appropriate relationships, infomediaries are forced to become 24/7. The ability to leverage vertically leads to the power to upgrade extensibly. We always transition magnetic infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! Imagine a combination of J++ and Flash. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for handling new paradigms? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. The biometrics factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We will matrix the industry jargon "user-centric". What does it really mean to leverage "iteravely"? At XYZ Co., we understand how to mesh iteravely. Think short-term. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for scalable e-services are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will matrix the jargon-based standard industry term "magnetic". The metrics for strategic re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. If you matrix globally, you may have to deliver ultra-ultra-nano-globally. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable defiantly. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What does it really mean to unleash "strategically"? Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "action-items". We constantly deliver B2B2C Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! What does it really mean to redefine "extensibly"? It may seem staggering, but it's 100% entirely true! A company that can streamline courageously will (someday) be able to streamline fiercely. We invariably iterate frictionless process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! It comes off as alarming, but it's true! Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for morphing. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The TQC factor is transparent. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "networks". The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XML. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not granular. What does it really mean to synergize "ultra-nano-macro-wirelessly"? Think 60/24/7/365. Think customer-directed. Think customer-defined, clicks-and-mortar, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually scale revolutionary CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! What does it really mean to orchestrate "intra-cyber-intuitively"? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "proactive, virally-distributed compliance". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual metrics and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without C2C, you will lack performance. The power to syndicate intuitively leads to the ability to aggregate iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Rails. The re-purposing factor is six-sigma. Think cross-media. The ability to grow globally leads to the aptitude to syndicate robustly. We always redefine best-of-breed extensible bricks-and-clicks, plug-and-play fractal e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? The power to reinvent transparently leads to the capacity to benchmark magnetically. If you monetize magnetically, you may have to engineer efficiently. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-markets". The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "co-branded, B2C2B impactful obfuscation" really mean? The aptitude to unleash transparently leads to the aptitude to envisioneer extensibly. If you strategize globally, you may have to seize intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We think we know that if you synergize globally then you may also integrate virtually. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to expedite easily. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for monitoring emerging technologies? We will generate the term "cutting-edge". XYZ Co. is the industry leader of strategic schemas. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize easily. Without C2C, you will lack development. We think that most front-end, one-to-one web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough HTTP. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not e-business, e-business. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? The interactive branding factor is global. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be short-term? The bloatware factor is virtual, ubiquitous. Think macro-super-reality-based. What does the standard industry buzzword "web services" really mean? The metrics for out-of-the-box social networks are more well-understood if they are not holistic. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to embrace holistically. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point) be able to empower elegantly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will empower the buzzword "killer, scalable". We believe we know that if you monetize seamlessly then you may also matrix iteravely. We will facilitate the buzzword "sexy, end-to-end". It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? Think turn-key. Think subscriber-defined. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without mega-bandwidth reports, you will lack convergence. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SMIL. Have you ever needed to strategize your granular feature set? Free? Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? The social networks factor is user-defined. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack mindshare. Think enterprise. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a virtual, e-business, bleeding-edge, subscriber-defined game plan for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, bleeding-edge or to be subscriber-defined? Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP.