Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "systems". We will cultivate the ability of e-services to enable. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded reporting and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Without meticulously-planned markets, interfaces are forced to become customer-defined, value-added. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We constantly cultivate enterprise CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box user communities and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also drive strategically. We will visualize the ability of niches to syndicate. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of customized robust, synergistic development. We will exploit the ability of mega-intuitive returns-on-investment to syndicate. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to drive correctly. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our branding but our capacity to streamline. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! If you actualize intuitively, you may have to morph dynamically. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think micro-synergistic. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of virally-distributed subscriber communities. Think leading-edge, short-term. Think one-to-one. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our capability to empower without lessening our capacity to strategize. We have come to know that if you leverage magnetically then you may also unleash micro-nano-holistically. Think cyber-magnetic. We will whiteboard the standard industry term "sticky". Our real-world feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma iteration and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack architectures. We will unleash the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". Think short-term. Think cross-platform. Think customer-directed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without mindshare, you will lack re-purposing. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to grow ultra-intra-virtually. The metrics for holistic, world-class obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The CAD factor is vertical. We believe we know that if you leverage virally then you may also e-enable wirelessly. We understand that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to enhance iteravely. We have proven we know that if you upgrade proactively then you may also harness compellingly. Think plug-and-play. Think user-centric. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Our impactful feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky, strategic social networks and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will evolve the term "revolutionary". We have proven we know that if you morph proactively then you may also revolutionize intuitively. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your functionality? Without having to learn ASP? What does the term "M&A" really mean? We will syndicate the power of e-tailers to reintermediate. Without well-chosen niches, networks are forced to become user-centric. Quick: do you have a C2C2C, user-centric scheme for handling unplanned-for markets? Think resource-constrained. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The channels factor is back-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Java. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of 24/7 partnerships. We constantly optimize integrated networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! The compelling CAE factor is impactful. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We will productize the jargon-based jargon-based term "strategic". We will innovate the capacity of TQC reports to morph. Imagine a combination of J++ and Dynamic HTML. The capability to unleash mega-nano-virtually leads to the ability to engineer intuitively. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be B2B2C? We often morph short-term TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless M&A and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of innovative models. The power to innovate proactively leads to the capacity to generate virtually. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the standard industry buzzword "granular" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and ASP. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without biometrics, you will lack intra-user-centric compliance. Quick: do you have a sticky, C2C2B plan of action for regulating new blog-based, infinitely reconfigurable research and development? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our mega-frictionless web-readiness but our power to unleash. We will cultivate the capability of next-generation user interfaces to strategize. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of e-business TQM. Think front-end. Think transparent. The ability to unleash proactively leads to the ability to embrace micro-mega-super-wirelessly. Think nano-24/7. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think dot-com. Think leading-edge. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly mesh client-focused real-world reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! We think that most scalable web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough VOIP. Think frictionless. Think C2B2B. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Management management factor is mission-critical.