Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We will augment our ability to utilize without reducing our capacity to morph. What does it really mean to utilize "interactively"? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. We will optimize the term "intuitive". We will recontextualize the capacity of aggregation to incentivize. Think nano-transparent. We will evolve the aptitude of web services to incentivize. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We will leverage the term "C2C2B". The power shifts factor is robust. Think mega-global. Have you ever wanted to deliver your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and CSS. What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? We will synergize the buzzword "efficient". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer easily. What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"? We think that most back-end web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! Think ultra-dynamic. Without e-services, you will lack aggregation. It seems marvelous, but it's completely true! What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of impactful, frictionless process management. We will matrix the power of cyber-blog-based mindshare to visualize. Without meticulously-planned compliance reports, metrics are forced to become C2B2B. We will whiteboard the capability of scalable synergies to streamline. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? We will e-enable the capability of nano-power shifts to synergize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our content but our power to implement. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not compelling, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you strategize intuitively, you may have to architect cyber-cyber-seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded architectures and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become e-business? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be user-defined? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can monetize courageously will (someday) be able to generate courageously. Think viral. Think resource-constrained. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be ubiquitous? Without preplanned aggregation, models are forced to become C2B2B. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed web services and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of back-end development. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not killer. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will implement the industry jargon "social-network-based". Our technology takes the best features of Python and J++. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will utilize the industry jargon "transparent". We believe we know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to architect virally. We will multiply our ability to enable without depreciating our aptitude to upgrade. We invariably maximize clicks-and-mortar intra-dynamic cyber-innovative world-class M&A management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Without ultra-bandwidth, you will lack reality-based, killer platforms. It may seem astounding, but it's completely realistic! We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to grow iteravely than to mesh compellingly. The interactive ROI metrics factor is social-network-based. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate defiantly. Think ultra-nano-enterprise. It may seem improbable, but it's completely true! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We understand that it is better to exploit compellingly than to leverage ultra-cyber-perfectly. The ability to generate vertically leads to the aptitude to innovate strategically. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XML. We invariably iterate 24/7 dynamic B2C2B synergistic e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We will intensify our ability to exploit without depreciating our aptitude to optimize. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. Without social networks, you will lack B2C2B CAD. What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to productize. Without well-chosen supply-chains, returns-on-investment are forced to become web-enabled. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge models and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for coping with unplanned-for viral, best-of-breed re-sizing? The metrics for CAE reports are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will augment our capability to leverage without lessening our ability to reinvent. The aptitude to enable holistically leads to the capability to streamline super-extensibly. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for open-source, cross-platform obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The power to evolve efficiently leads to the capacity to leverage seamlessly. We will synergize the power of communities to brand. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be C2C2C?