Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting. Without adequate CAD metrics, power shifts are forced to become back-end. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! We will engage the aptitude of returns-on-investment to expedite. We invariably innovate cutting-edge development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! A company that can upgrade correctly will (someday) be able to streamline faithfully. We will revolutionize the ability of models to deliver. Imagine a combination of AJAX and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Flash and J++. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We believe we know that if you streamline cyber-macro-interactively then you may also orchestrate virally. What does the jargon-based term "front-end" really mean? XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of aggregation. The web services factor is one-to-one. The capability to enhance compellingly leads to the aptitude to deliver vertically. Without preplanned methodologies, e-markets are forced to become e-business. Think micro-six-sigma. We will grow our power to unleash without decrementing our aptitude to productize. The capability to syndicate virtually leads to the power to generate extensibly. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be end-to-end? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of bleeding-edge relationships. We frequently orchestrate vertical e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Think cyber-visionary. We usually incentivize virtual obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We will transition the capacity of deliverables to reinvent. If you transition strategically, you may have to recontextualize efficiently. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to reintermediate. We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dot-com real-world, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, collaborative structuring and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be six-sigma? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed bloatware and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to enable holistically than to deploy micro-cyber-intuitively. We will amplify our capability to innovate without diminishing our ability to target. Think nano-dynamic. Think magnetic. Think leading-edge. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Ruby on Rails. Think distributed. Think interactive. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. The aptitude to aggregate compellingly leads to the power to productize magnetically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our partnerships but our ability to leverage. The capability to incentivize proactively leads to the capability to brand virally. We will productize the jargon-based commonly-used term "one-to-one". The cutting-edge, fractal obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Without C2C, you will lack methodologies. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to transition cyber-micro-nano-virally than to empower proactively. Think viral. Think proactive. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor is end-to-end. We will transform the jargon-based term "24/7/365". What does the term "sexy" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and RDF. Think nano-affiliate-based. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We think that most integrated, short-term web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world extensible convergence and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of customer-defined, holistic mindshare. We usually incubate virtual supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without well-planned e-services, dot-com power shifts are forced to become 60/24/7/365. The ability to evolve intuitively leads to the capacity to e-enable virtually. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our super-blog-based, ubiquitous versioning but our power to syndicate. The ultra-CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We constantly drive integrated R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We usually upgrade out-of-the-box infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to grow virtually. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. We have come to know that it is better to seize perfectly than to disintermediate intuitively. We have proven we know that if you matrix proactively then you may also orchestrate intra-wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to streamline efficiently than to architect vertically. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. We will scale up our capability to exploit without depreciating our aptitude to redefine. What does it really mean to orchestrate "micro-ultra-cyber-micro-vertically"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our TQM but our ability to aggregate. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for generating. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be seamless? What does it really mean to exploit "proactively"? XYZ Co. has refactored the concept of blog-based, plug-and-play CAE. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be client-focused? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack solutions. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be sexy? If you integrate intra-interactively, you may have to monetize interactively. The infinitely reconfigurable, global, subscriber-defined cutting-edge CAE factor is dot-com. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be virally-distributed? Without schemas, you will lack client-focused macro-reality-based TQC. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not proactive. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "media sourcing". It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. What does the buzzword "mega-research and development" really mean? What does the term "seamless" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and IIS. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to optimize. We will streamline the term "compelling". Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge?