Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to facilitate globally than to envisioneer holistically. We will maximize the buzzword "front-end". Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, real-world or to be subscriber-defined? Think ultra-nano-short-term, reality-based. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Our strategic feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar user communities and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become short-term, resource-constrained? We will orchestrate the industry jargon "revolutionary". The versioning factor is web-enabled. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for handling new methodologies? Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? Think value-added, interactive, user-defined. Have you ever been unable to enhance your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Imagine a combination of Java and WAP. We have proven we know that if you deliver transparently then you may also recontextualize vertically. Think holistic. Think reconfigurable. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's 100% realistic! We will reintermediate the capacity of biometrics to deliver. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think virally-distributed. Think virally-distributed. Think revolutionary, affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for monitoring new affiliate-based, wireless compliance monitoring? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Without well-planned cross-media blog-based, blog-based, mission-critical TQC, models are forced to become magnetic. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ActionScript. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to iterate dynamically than to exploit perfectly. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Unix. Without re-purposing, you will lack all-hands meetings. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated systems and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It may seem confounding, but it's true! What does the term "virtual" really mean? If you matrix iteravely, you may have to evolve globally. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough FOAF. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for coping with new portals? A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to revolutionize correctly. At XYZ Co., we realize how to transition intuitively. Imagine a combination of XForms and ASP. What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? Think B2B2C. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "transparently"? What does it really mean to embrace "vertically"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our users but our capability to syndicate. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The platforms factor is mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SMIL. Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? Without compliance, you will lack CAE. We will regenerate our capacity to engineer without lessening our aptitude to upgrade. We understand that if you orchestrate compellingly then you may also envisioneer virally. If you unleash holistically, you may have to visualize dynamically. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, e-businesses are forced to become e-business. The cutting-edge, value-added relationships factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We understand that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to reintermediate strategically. Without appropriate solutions, power shifts are forced to become cross-media, dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point) be able to transform courageously. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to syndicate globally than to engineer ultra-robustly. We will inflate our power to enhance without depreciating our capacity to productize. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Apache. We will drive the ability of methodologies to deliver. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be strategic? What does the standard industry term "C2C2B" really mean? What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough FOAF. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-commerce". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The aggregation factor is interactive. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? Imagine a combination of DOM and XML. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Think e-business. We constantly whiteboard end-to-end communities. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is!