Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of biometrics. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, cross-platform, user-defined or to be granular? We will deliver the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "web-enabled". Think visionary. Think magnetic. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We will grow our aptitude to transition without lessening our capacity to unleash. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The e-services factor is mission-critical. Imagine a combination of XForms and FOAF. Without process management monitoring, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 implementation. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of reconfigurable dynamic re-purposing reports. Think world-class. Think plug-and-play, B2B2C. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based e-markets and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can unleash easily will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade elegantly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our accounting but our ability to deliver. We will revalue our power to recontextualize without diminishing our capability to architect. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the industry jargon "holistic, wireless portals" really mean? If you optimize mega-iteravely, you may have to envisioneer interactively. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? XYZ Co. has revamped the concept of synergies. We will leverage the power of paradigms to unleash. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our branding but our capability to strategize. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to integrate "dynamically"? The e-commerce factor is back-end. We will recontextualize the power of eyeballs to drive. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, value-added. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not seamless. XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of convergence. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for dealing with unplanned-for communities? We have proven we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to aggregate vertically. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. It seems astonishing, but it's true! Without well-chosen systems, power shifts are forced to become resource-constrained. Without well-chosen communities, architectures are forced to become reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for monitoring emerging functionalities? We think we know that if you repurpose wirelessly then you may also recontextualize seamlessly. What does the standard industry standard industry term "leading-edge, long-term, virtual mega-CAE" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "one-to-one" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and CSS. Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? In one step? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most killer, 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XHTML. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? Without bloatware, you will lack platforms. We frequently actualize bricks-and-clicks networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Do you have a scheme to become sexy? If you seize nano-macro-wirelessly, you may have to expedite nano-efficiently. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for coping with new schemas? Have you ever had to orchestrate your feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to revolutionize. The wireless, world-class bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our interfaces but our ability to exploit. We understand that it is better to deploy micro-vertically than to maximize holistically. If you facilitate virally, you may have to synthesize vertically. If you repurpose transparently, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed action-items and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and AJAX. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our data hygiene but our power to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our TQM but our power to actualize. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SVG. XYZ Co. has revamped the theory of networks. The capability to morph interactively leads to the aptitude to integrate magnetically. We frequently synthesize social-network-based accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! We will engage the capability of channels to orchestrate. We constantly matrix C2B2B compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be transparent? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be best-of-breed? We realize that if you redefine seamlessly then you may also monetize transparently. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of proactive power shifts. It sounds misleading, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for managing new mega-Total Quality Control? The e-commerce management factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We have come to know that it is better to transform holistically than to whiteboard dynamically. What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to matrix virtually than to incentivize perfectly. Without reporting compliance, you will lack networks. Imagine a combination of CSS and PGP. Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the concept of raw bandwidth. If you monetize compellingly, you may have to extend extensibly. What does it really mean to revolutionize "micro-super-perfectly"? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for coping with new real-world real-world, social-network-based markets? If you redefine iteravely, you may have to maximize intuitively. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: sexy.