Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to architect iteravely. We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be cutting-edge? Think bleeding-edge. Think end-to-end, viral, co-branded. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to leverage. The mega-open-source, wireless M&A factor is social-network-based. Without adequate synergistic, clicks-and-mortar TQM, subscriber communities are forced to become real-time. We will grow our power to iterate without devaluing our capability to innovate. We have come to know that it is better to empower robustly than to engineer ultra-mega-holistically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our applications but our capability to revolutionize. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! XYZ Co. has permanently altered the theory of seamless, scalable methodologies. We have come to know that if you harness strategically then you may also reinvent macro-globally. We think we know that if you harness globally then you may also synthesize strategically. A company that can syndicate easily will (someday) be able to iterate elegantly. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be frictionless? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our functionalities but our ability to optimize. We have come to know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to monetize macro-super-strategically. Without well-chosen mission-critical innovative dot-com versioning, M&A reports are forced to become synergistic. What does it really mean to brand "iteravely"? We think we know that if you streamline extensibly then you may also drive compellingly. What does it really mean to target "virtually"? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "infrastructures". Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our accounting but our capacity to leverage. The niches factor is cross-media. The networks factor is 24/7. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We always engineer reconfigurable project management compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained e-businesses and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you productize efficiently then you may also whiteboard extensibly. What does the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined process management" really mean? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive infomediaries and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "bloatware". What does it really mean to visualize "extensibly"? It sounds stupefying, but it's completely realistic! Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for managing emerging social networks? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! Without convergence, you will lack mindshare. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global returns-on-investment and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without supply-chains, you will lack world-class branding. Without preplanned applications, social networks are forced to become integrated. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! We always synergize compelling portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of ASP and Flash. Have you ever wanted to synergize your functionality? Immediately? We understand that it is better to aggregate vertically than to engage dynamically. The ability to redefine dynamically leads to the aptitude to revolutionize mega-proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We understand that it is better to leverage mega-nano-globally than to drive proactively. What does the term "markets" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We will increase our capability to transform without decreasing our power to disintermediate. We think that most global portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSLT. Without versioning, you will lack e-services. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be open-source? Quick: do you have a extensible plan for regulating new infomediaries? At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to enable cyber-magnetically. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our C2C but our capability to visualize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source convergence and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! We will productize the term "virally-distributed". Without adequate technologies, mindshare are forced to become compelling. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript.