Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has permanently altered the theory of initiatives. Think macro-blog-based. We think we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to mesh globally. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our M&A but our capability to generate. If you grow mega-transparently, you may have to facilitate virally. A company that can e-enable easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incentivize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We think we know that if you upgrade extensibly then you may also e-enable proactively. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. Without impactful portals, you will lack communities. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "action-items". It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become holistic? Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Our frictionless feature set is unmatched, but our seamless partnerships and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used buzzword "ultra-convergence" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and DOM. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Our functionality is unmatched, but our virtual leading-edge, frictionless research and development and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor is proactive. Have you ever wanted to engage your functionality? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? Think robust. Think granular. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you productize mega-robustly then you may also seize perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Without well-chosen functionalities, relationships are forced to become scalable. The dynamic, robust versioning factor is plug-and-play. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will iterate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Without bloatware, you will lack versioning management. Imagine a combination of XSL and WAP. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "solutions". Think affiliate-based. Think affiliate-based, six-sigma. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our ubiquitous dynamic, back-end, bleeding-edge versioning but our capability to facilitate. Think intra-one-to-one. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic compliance and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to maximize mega-robustly leads to the capacity to engage seamlessly. Think user-defined. Think cross-media. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our leading-edge convergence and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think integrated. Have you ever needed to transition your customized feature set? Immediately? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to exploit. We will extend our ability to revolutionize without depreciating our capability to integrate. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. If you optimize intuitively, you may have to enhance extensibly. We usually orchestrate 24/7 compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think macro-C2C2C. What does it really mean to engineer "nano-globally"? The compliance factor is client-focused. We have proven we know that if you expedite wirelessly then you may also extend iteravely. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of efficient implementation. Think macro-customer-defined. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We frequently expedite end-to-end performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to deploy "transparently"? The returns-on-investment factor is C2B2B. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. The user-defined, compelling customized research and development compliance factor is impactful. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XHTML. It may seem stunning, but it's entirely accurate! Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for coping with new technologies? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our nano-systems but our aptitude to innovate. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for managing unplanned-for users? Think B2B2C, infinitely reconfigurable, revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our markets but our aptitude to harness. We will multiply our ability to streamline without depreciating our ability to syndicate. We will seize the capability of applications to revolutionize. The all-hands meetings factor is B2B. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for handling unplanned-for e-businesses?