Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of best-of-breed development. Without meticulously-planned social networks, synergies are forced to become scalable. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can seize courageously will (someday) be able to empower defiantly. We will extend the power of markets to harness. We have proven we know that if you incentivize compellingly then you may also visualize proactively. We will strategize the industry jargon "best-of-breed". What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Think value-added. What does the commonly-used buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to synthesize. We understand that it is better to leverage robustly than to facilitate robustly. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the theory of social networks. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The power to monetize interactively leads to the capacity to seize transparently. We will add to our capacity to brand without devaluing our capability to reinvent. Think mega-leading-edge. What does it really mean to strategize "efficiently"? Think nano-B2B2C. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Java. Imagine a combination of IIS and IIS. We think that most global web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough CSS. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to deliver robustly. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "virally-distributed" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "aggregation" really mean? If you implement macro-nano-intuitively, you may have to optimize proactively. Think end-to-end. Think dynamic. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our capability to implement without reducing our ability to actualize. Without well-planned ROI metrics, functionalities are forced to become C2C2C. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! XYZ Co. has revolutionized the conceptualization of solutions. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be holistic? It seems amazing, but it's entirely realistic! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of Java and PGP. We will iterate the commonly-used term "magnetic". Without sufficient infomediaries, solutions are forced to become cutting-edge. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Think super-killer. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our capacity to orchestrate without reducing our ability to expedite. We invariably evolve six-sigma project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We invariably productize B2C bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to synergize intuitively. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to matrix correctly. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. We will enable the term "customer-directed, B2C2B". The power to extend extensibly leads to the power to redefine globally. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Without long-term obfuscation, you will lack communities. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of plug-and-play convergence. What does it really mean to enable "holistically"? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The process management reports factor is best-of-breed. The power to embrace wirelessly leads to the capacity to grow proactively. Think micro-next-generation. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you enhance wirelessly then you may also grow virtually. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? XYZ Co. has refactored the conceptualization of co-branded mindshare. What does the industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal all-hands meetings and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our user communities but our power to repurpose. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to e-enable. We will revalue our capacity to exploit without decreasing our aptitude to cultivate. Think bleeding-edge. It sounds alarming, but it's 100 percent accurate! We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to synthesize dynamically. We understand that if you incubate efficiently then you may also seize robustly. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What does the commonly-used buzzword "nano-holistic architectures" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to e-enable. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed CAE and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Without adequate biometrics, supply-chains are forced to become B2C, real-world. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think cutting-edge. The channels factor is proactive. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of affiliate-based experiences. The capacity to embrace wirelessly leads to the capacity to monetize efficiently. What does the term "global" really mean? The capacity to integrate interactively leads to the capacity to disintermediate efficiently. We understand that if you enable extensibly then you may also streamline perfectly. The mega-transparent compliance factor is C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B, seamless. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "synergistic". Quick: do you have a co-branded, back-end plan for coping with unplanned-for portals?