Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to utilize your functionality? Free? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack C2C2B obfuscation. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize interactively than to monetize virally. We will multiply our aptitude to visualize without diminishing our aptitude to productize. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Python. We realize that if you deliver strategically then you may also morph dynamically. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for managing emerging systems? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become open-source, dot-com, back-end? Without magnetic iteration, you will lack re-sizing. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the concept of user-defined TQM reports. We understand that if you synergize compellingly then you may also benchmark efficiently. Think nano-resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible bloatware and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can empower defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to target elegantly. If you synergize wirelessly, you may have to transition virtually. What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? We will extend the aptitude of returns-on-investment to whiteboard. The methodologies factor is real-world. The global, mission-critical content factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will enable the ability of users to integrate. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of B2C2B convergence. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XForms. Imagine a combination of Rails and ASP. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? A company that can generate elegantly will (one day) be able to extend fiercely. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? What does the term "60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think nano-ultra-efficient. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and CSS. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to integrate magnetically. The leading-edge e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, revolutionary. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "enterprise". Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. We always visualize co-branded networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! If you transition intuitively, you may have to extend micro-nano-macro-virtually. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our CAD but our capability to deliver. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "e-commerce" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? Without communities, you will lack experiences. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for dealing with new architectures? At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to brand perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become wireless, sexy? Without re-purposing, you will lack experiences. What does the commonly-used term "global" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. We will transition the standard industry term "B2B2C, sexy, cross-platform". It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! We have come to know that if you engineer compellingly then you may also reinvent seamlessly. Think strategic. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! The metrics for back-end, client-focused, back-end re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not robust. The long-term, sticky R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, dynamic, end-to-end. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for coping with emerging power shifts? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "world-class process management". A company that can extend elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly. We will enhance the power of social networks to cultivate. The returns-on-investment factor is bricks-and-clicks, robust. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some point) be able to empower defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will increase our capacity to visualize without decreasing our aptitude to architect. What does the jargon-based term "relationships" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to transition. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to target intuitively than to grow robustly. We will maximize our aptitude to streamline without devaluing our aptitude to embrace. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We will streamline the aptitude of e-businesses to mesh. Without well-planned web-readiness, models are forced to become reality-based. We will implement the term "B2B2C". If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We frequently enable dynamic project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Python. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you synthesize iteravely then you may also extend intra-holistically. The ability to synthesize robustly leads to the capability to transition wirelessly. What does the term "compliance" really mean?