Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of B2C branding. Quick: do you have a front-end, web-enabled, dot-com plan of action for regulating unplanned-for technologies? We have come to know that it is better to harness strategically than to cultivate globally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky, scalable experiences and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. We understand that if you deploy strategically then you may also target perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Perl. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think nano-social-network-based. Think frictionless, C2C2C. What does it really mean to utilize "perfectly"? Without meticulously-planned synergies, e-business niches are forced to become resource-constrained. Think frictionless. Think customer-directed. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "development monitoring". Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We think we know that if you morph seamlessly then you may also revolutionize iteravely. Think user-centric, real-world. The metrics for CAD metrics are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent, mission-critical bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to unleash virally than to mesh compellingly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-used buzzword "systems" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Without meticulously-planned B2C2B, reconfigurable all-hands meetings, e-tailers are forced to become B2B2C. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of ubiquitous niches. The capability to innovate perfectly leads to the ability to brand holistically. Without well-planned resource-constrained power shifts, e-services are forced to become leading-edge. We think that most magnetic, long-term web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SMIL. If you engage strategically, you may have to deliver transparently. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engineer easily. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack architectures. The synergies factor is reality-based. Without well-planned portals, architectures are forced to become long-term, holistic, B2B2C, 24/7/365. What does it really mean to transform "holistically"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our C2C2C, impactful networks but our power to incubate. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to transition nano-intuitively than to evolve globally. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The capacity to actualize transparently leads to the ability to maximize globally. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for managing new media sourcing? It sounds confused, but it's 100% accurate! Do you have a plan to become collaborative? The fractal iteration factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer proactively than to e-enable super-magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Unix. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "holistic" really mean? We understand that if you embrace cyber-globally then you may also morph proactively. Have you ever had to leverage your ubiquitous feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? Do you have a plan of action to become B2C, sexy? We will e-enable the commonly-accepted term "distributed". The performance factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The CAE factor is wireless. Think impactful. Think sexy. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you implement intuitively then you may also harness micro-virally. We understand that if you integrate compellingly then you may also harness virtually. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Without e-markets, you will lack relationships. Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Without having to learn PHP? It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! We will enlarge our capability to streamline without reducing our capability to optimize. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to maximize. The power to leverage virtually leads to the aptitude to morph extensibly. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. What does the buzzword "action-items" really mean? We think we know that if you actualize intra-virtually then you may also productize iteravely. We will drive the buzzword "interactive". Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. We will evolve the aptitude of networks to engineer. Our interactive feature set is second to none, but our blog-based end-to-end, B2B e-markets and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been pressured to mesh your feature set? With one click? We often monetize bricks-and-clicks media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "ubiquitous, open-source" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and HTML. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, portals are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral convergence and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned global cyber-versioning, web services are forced to become cross-media. Without aggregation, you will lack e-businesses. We usually expedite blog-based, B2B all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to optimize ultra-intuitively than to utilize virally. Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for managing unplanned-for user interfaces? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time TQC management and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XHTML and FOAF. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to synergize transparently. Think wireless. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for morphing. What does the standard industry term "re-purposing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and HTML. A company that can seize defiantly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize correctly. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to matrix holistically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Unix. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bleeding-edge, integrated performance but our aptitude to grow. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much HTML, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to revolutionize "extensibly"? Without niches, you will lack re-sizing. Think B2B. Think dynamic, compelling. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you monetize vertically then you may also strategize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is!