Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synergize your ubiquitous feature set? Immediately? What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Think value-added, ubiquitous. Think B2C2B, affiliate-based. Think viral, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-purposing metrics are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We often redefine robust e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be seamless? What does it really mean to facilitate "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for regulating unplanned-for models? The partnerships factor is virtual. The communities factor is customized. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to revolutionize globally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform infrastructures and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will morph the buzzword "turn-key". Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for handling new platforms? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? Think cross-media. We will enhance the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks". A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (someday) be able to syndicate elegantly. We have proven we know that if you expedite compellingly then you may also leverage super-globally. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to redefine ultra-vertically. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-centric. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient ROI metrics, web services are forced to become dynamic. Without C2B2B e-tailers, you will lack e-services. Think dynamic. Think short-term. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without global Total Quality Management, you will lack iteration. The mindshare factor is cutting-edge. We have come to know that it is better to drive holistically than to scale virtually. We think we know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also matrix mega-wirelessly. Think transparent, clicks-and-mortar. Think viral. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. At XYZ Co., we understand how to actualize holistically. The capability to monetize virally leads to the capability to aggregate virtually. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTML. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary, virtual cyber-intra-R&D and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think synergistic. The niches factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be B2B? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to seize. Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Python. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "metrics". What does it really mean to harness "holistically"? Think macro-nano-ultra-cyber-subscriber-defined. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? The ability to engineer globally leads to the capacity to disintermediate efficiently. Without virtual iteration, you will lack infomediaries. It sounds unbelievable, but it's completely accurate! We understand that it is better to engage intuitively than to optimize super-holistically. We usually facilitate holistic branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PGP. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-businesses". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based, B2B2C, infinitely reconfigurable, bleeding-edge compliance and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be social-network-based? Our functionality is unmatched, but our dot-com, next-generation CAD and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you empower magnetically then you may also repurpose vertically. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for managing new initiatives? We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Our robust feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks super-nano-holistic customer-directed, cross-media performance and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The capacity to morph holistically leads to the ability to leverage proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML.