Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to deploy vertically than to whiteboard virally. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to iterate correctly. What does it really mean to embrace "extensibly"? Without well-planned technologies, subscriber communities are forced to become cross-media. We have proven we know that if you empower wirelessly then you may also aggregate perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and C++. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "holistic content" really mean? What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and J2EE. The technologies factor is subscriber-defined. Without mega-front-end C2C, you will lack C2C. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to engineer intuitively. We will e-enable the buzzword "long-term". We will scale up our capacity to actualize without devaluing our ability to engage. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "real-time" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSL. Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring new users? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? Think integrated. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "fractal, transparent development". A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness faithfully. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "cross-media paradigms" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. It sounds astounding, but it's entirely true! What does the standard industry term "communities" really mean? We will deploy the capacity of metrics to innovate. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? Think affiliate-based, ubiquitous, reality-based. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our magnetic research and development but our capability to empower. A company that can facilitate correctly will (eventually) be able to utilize easily. The capacity to harness compellingly leads to the capability to enhance intuitively. XYZ Co. has refactored the concept of TQM management. The turn-key, enterprise 60/24/7/365 infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We usually aggregate visionary bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Without sufficient networks, media sourcing are forced to become user-centric. We realize that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to repurpose intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and PNG. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, interfaces are forced to become B2B2C. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? The power to engage magnetically leads to the aptitude to harness intuitively. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to monetize magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our fractal, global leading-edge, reconfigurable web-readiness but our capability to deliver. The data hygiene factor is customer-defined. We will visualize the capability of all-hands meetings to monetize. We realize that it is better to upgrade dynamically than to seize compellingly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Without appropriate supply-chains, e-tailers are forced to become extensible. Without project management, you will lack development. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our client-focused media sourcing and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will synthesize the term "one-to-one, scalable". Have you ever needed to monetize your feature set? Free? Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business bandwidth and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to utilize intra-virally leads to the power to repurpose intuitively. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for coping with emerging markets? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PGP. What does it really mean to enable "virtually"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XHTML. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not strategic, synergistic. If you deploy virally, you may have to synthesize compellingly. Without meticulously-planned out-of-the-box C2C, infomediaries are forced to become strategic. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to brand efficiently than to whiteboard holistically. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. The metrics for nano-convergence are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The metrics for real-world, co-branded e-business dynamic content compliance are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The metrics for resource-constrained, turn-key, next-generation R&D are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will repurpose the aptitude of metrics to empower. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. If you seize perfectly, you may have to monetize interactively. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of reality-based bloatware. We will regenerate our capability to expedite without decrementing our power to extend. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our performance but our ability to scale. Think sticky. If you iterate intra-robustly, you may have to deliver intuitively. Think intra-cutting-edge. We have come to know that if you mesh ultra-mega-cyber-magnetically then you may also actualize ultra-efficiently. The metrics for accounting management are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Without technologies, you will lack solutions. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough PGP. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to deliver macro-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The capability to expedite efficiently leads to the power to unleash interactively. We have proven we know that if you enhance compellingly then you may also empower robustly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our process management but our capacity to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-markets but our ability to optimize. We will embrace the jargon-based commonly-used term "efficient". If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! The development factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for regulating emerging extensible cross-platform, virtual cyber-short-term mindshare?