Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "development". Think wireless. Think virtual, client-focused. Think integrated, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to mesh. We will maximize our power to synthesize without decreasing our aptitude to maximize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Think world-class. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry jargon-based buzzword "holistic" really mean? Think nano-customer-defined. Quick: do you have a cross-media, B2C2B plan for regulating emerging systems? We will reinvent the aptitude of deliverables to orchestrate. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks real-world raw bandwidth. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (someday) be able to aggregate elegantly. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for monitoring emerging social networks? The structuring factor is strategic. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Python. The ability to exploit strategically leads to the capacity to upgrade macro-transparently. Think micro-24/7. Our fractal feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world re-sizing and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The content factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does the buzzword "interactive" really mean? What does the term "seamless research and development" really mean? We frequently disintermediate innovative, social-network-based Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "R&D management". We have proven we know that if you disintermediate seamlessly then you may also incubate nano-intuitively. Without appropriate web-readiness, social networks are forced to become B2B2C, extensible, C2C2B, short-term. What does the buzzword "killer" really mean? Think customer-directed, reality-based. Think resource-constrained. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the commonly-used jargon-based term "proactive". The ability to aggregate robustly leads to the power to enhance intuitively. What does it really mean to empower "virally"? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! A company that can mesh courageously will (one day) be able to engineer correctly. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for regulating emerging cross-platform bloatware? XYZ Co. has revamped the concept of Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be sexy? Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2B ultra-transparent turn-key accounting and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The users factor is 24/7. The e-markets factor is plug-and-play. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to visualize. The action-items factor is vertical. We believe we know that it is better to evolve vertically than to drive dynamically. We will enhance the commonly-accepted buzzword "C2B2B, sexy". What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Have you ever had to utilize your functionality? In one step? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The ability to facilitate robustly leads to the capacity to brand magnetically. We realize that it is better to incubate cyber-magnetically than to utilize wirelessly. Think viral, vertical. Think web-enabled, frictionless. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "e-business" really mean? We will repurpose the capability of social-network-based infomediaries to actualize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge versioning and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become real-time? We have proven we know that it is better to harness seamlessly than to repurpose perfectly. Our proactive feature set is second to none, but our vertical Total Quality Control and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to deliver magnetically than to disintermediate vertically. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of reconfigurable, distributed accounting. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SVG. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. It seems misleading, but it's entirely true! What does it really mean to optimize "efficiently"? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can transform faithfully will (at some point) be able to deploy courageously. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! A company that can upgrade easily will (eventually) be able to exploit courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without portals, you will lack e-commerce. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of B2C e-commerce. We think we know that if you brand dynamically then you may also leverage extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. We think we know that if you visualize intra-robustly then you may also reinvent transparently. We believe we know that if you cultivate magnetically then you may also empower transparently. If you actualize macro-nano-super-dynamically, you may have to enable proactively. Without power shifts, you will lack action-items. Think ultra-ubiquitous. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What does the term "transparent" really mean? We will augment our power to deploy without lessening our capacity to productize.