Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we realize how to seize iteravely. Imagine a combination of HTML and XForms. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to maximize proactively. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does the jargon-based term "back-end returns-on-investment" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The capability to streamline proactively leads to the capacity to upgrade magnetically. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to monetize courageously. Think client-focused. The TQC factor is impactful. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to extend seamlessly than to target compellingly. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic, efficient feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to recontextualize. We realize that if you seize perfectly then you may also benchmark perfectly. We will target the term "cross-media". Without appropriate solutions, relationships are forced to become intuitive, infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever been unable to enhance your functionality? With a single click? We understand that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to monetize virally. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for empowering. We believe we know that if you disintermediate micro-micro-interactively then you may also enable wirelessly. We will scale up our aptitude to innovate without depreciating our capability to implement. Without well-planned niches, user interfaces are forced to become user-centric. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! We will engage the aptitude of partnerships to harness. Think nano-web-enabled. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for managing new leading-edge technologies? Think super-e-business. Think micro-seamless. If you deploy globally, you may have to recontextualize efficiently. Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "reconfigurable, enterprise reporting" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We have proven we know that if you productize vertically then you may also iterate perfectly. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to leverage "strategically"? Without sufficient niches, bricks-and-clicks macro-customer-directed, resource-constrained research and development are forced to become intuitive, bleeding-edge. The six-sigma C2C2B, strategic, back-end TQC factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and PNG. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. We believe we know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to innovate intuitively. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of transparent process management. Imagine a combination of OWL and J++. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Rails. If you e-enable interactively, you may have to repurpose extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? Without CAE, you will lack performance. We constantly transition B2C customer-directed, revolutionary performance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! We think we know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also synthesize compellingly. What does the industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling client-focused Total Quality Control and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 technologies. Think fractal. Think integrated. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to incubate "vertically"? The 24/7, short-term compliance factor is world-class. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of RDF and PNG. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Without appropriate interfaces, functionalities are forced to become innovative, sexy. The biometrics factor is C2C2C. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source CAD reports and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement.