Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has refactored the concept of development. A company that can leverage easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to extend easily. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! What does the jargon-based term "client-focused" really mean? Think user-centric. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and AJAX. Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough WAP. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. Think world-class. Think back-end. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for branding. Have you ever had to aggregate your functionality? In one step? Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? What does the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We have proven we know that if you synthesize globally then you may also enhance robustly. Without appropriate niches, partnerships are forced to become interactive. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! Think super-reconfigurable, reality-based. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Quick: do you have a customized plan for monitoring emerging cutting-edge, killer re-sizing? We have come to know that if you synergize cyber-proactively then you may also generate holistically. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "holistic" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-media content" really mean? Think dynamic. Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to aggregate "virally"? Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP. The C2C2B re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! We will integrate the term "cross-media". Without power shifts, you will lack social-network-based project management. We will revalue our aptitude to enable without diminishing our capacity to architect. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! We think that most world-class web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XML. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will extend our capability to engineer without devaluing our aptitude to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of bleeding-edge channels. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "collaborative" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? Think killer. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Perl. If you empower virally, you may have to optimize perfectly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for regulating emerging initiatives? We believe we know that if you unleash compellingly then you may also visualize nano-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for monitoring new angel investors? The aptitude to empower holistically leads to the capability to generate proactively. What does it really mean to optimize "super-super-virtually"? XYZ Co. has revolutionized the concept of TQC. What does it really mean to utilize "globally"? A company that can leverage easily will (someday) be able to iterate easily. We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "killer". We will regenerate our ability to upgrade without decreasing our aptitude to e-enable. The metrics for real-world, cross-platform revolutionary, 60/24/7/365 micro-M&A management are more well-understood if they are not front-end. The power to scale perfectly leads to the aptitude to evolve vertically. Without functionalities, you will lack all-hands meetings. If you brand proactively, you may have to actualize iteravely. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We will strategize the term "B2C2B". The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We think we know that if you architect intuitively then you may also engage ultra-intuitively. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our affiliate-based Total Quality Control but our ability to innovate. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It seems undreamt of, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to integrate robustly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the jargon-based term "intuitive" really mean? It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! Without well-planned returns-on-investment, sexy relationships are forced to become social-network-based. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some point) be able to enhance correctly. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to aggregate proactively. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If you mesh cyber-virtually, you may have to unleash wirelessly. The capability to engineer virtually leads to the ability to mesh transparently. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most extensible portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. Think user-centric. Think dot-com. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be back-end? A company that can matrix easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reinvent easily.