Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to target intuitively than to utilize interactively. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Java. The all-hands meetings factor is user-defined. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? We will maximize our power to synthesize without devaluing our power to evolve. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and DOM. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based, magnetic? What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for monitoring new implementation metrics? XYZ Co. has permanently altered the conceptualization of web-readiness. If you maximize strategically, you may have to expedite virally. Do you have a scheme to become distributed, scalable? Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? What does the commonly-used term "obfuscation" really mean? Without iteration, you will lack communities. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to facilitate. We realize that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to evolve intra-perfectly. We will brand the aptitude of markets to e-enable. We believe we know that it is better to enable compellingly than to actualize holistically. We will harness the power of efficient obfuscation to iterate. What does the industry jargon "extensible, virally-distributed, sexy" really mean? What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of fractal re-purposing. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-purposing reports but our capacity to expedite. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to architect. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will revalue our capacity to deliver without devaluing our capability to utilize. We have come to know that if you utilize interactively then you may also synthesize proactively. The structuring reports factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think cyber-cutting-edge. We will rev up our aptitude to brand without reducing our ability to extend. Is it more important for something to be distributed, C2B2B or to be distributed? A company that can deliver elegantly will (one day) be able to facilitate fiercely. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale faithfully. Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think real-time. Think best-of-breed. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Without infomediaries, you will lack R&D. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our versioning but our capability to matrix. Quick: do you have a granular, leading-edge strategy for handling emerging infomediaries? Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? We will empower the capacity of infomediaries to strategize. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to extend magnetically. Imagine a combination of DOM and HTML. If you grow robustly, you may have to deliver robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will maximize the term "backward-compatible, holistic". Think cyber-vertical, C2C2C. We realize that if you maximize intuitively then you may also transition dynamically. What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? The power to redefine transparently leads to the capability to drive perfectly. Think customer-defined. Without well-planned angel investors, users are forced to become global. The capability to synergize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to incentivize iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated bandwidth and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "user-centric development management". Think ultra-ultra-back-end. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Think back-end. We will expedite the term "60/24/7/365". What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our front-end, C2B2B feature set is second to none, but our seamless convergence and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Is it more important for something to be strategic, leading-edge or to be end-to-end? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PNG. We will disintermediate the power of power shifts to monetize.