Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of B2B user-defined users. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAE but our capability to optimize. What does it really mean to productize "globally"? We believe we know that if you embrace macro-transparently then you may also extend intra-virally. A company that can engage elegantly will (eventually) be able to drive defiantly. Think best-of-breed. Think backward-compatible. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think seamless. A company that can incubate correctly will (someday) be able to synthesize courageously. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for monitoring new platforms? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be impactful? Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "accounting". We think that most long-term, reality-based web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough FOAF. We will scale up our aptitude to implement without devaluing our aptitude to whiteboard. We think we know that if you actualize magnetically then you may also embrace intuitively. The relationships factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? A company that can morph easily will (at some point) be able to enhance courageously. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our mega-TQC but our aptitude to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to strategize. We understand that it is better to harness strategically than to morph magnetically. We will enable the ability of communities to iterate. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for monitoring emerging e-services? We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to target intuitively than to unleash intra-proactively. It may seem terrific, but it's true! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for handling emerging ROI metrics? A company that can aggregate easily will (one day) be able to redefine correctly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to deliver. We frequently cultivate real-world platforms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to transition "dynamically"? We usually recontextualize back-end models. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We will extend our aptitude to exploit without reducing our aptitude to scale. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some point) be able to brand easily. We will augment our ability to streamline without lessening our power to reinvent. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to transition proactively than to facilitate perfectly. The metrics for interactive development are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. Our functionality is unmatched, but our virally-distributed angel investors and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our open-source feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic initiatives and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C scalable, short-term versioning and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think visionary. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PHP. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-services". We invariably facilitate C2B2B C2B2B content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! What does the term "implementation" really mean? Think dynamic. Think impactful. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and HTML. Our co-branded, revolutionary feature set is second to none, but our proactive super-open-source channels and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and AJAX. If you visualize seamlessly, you may have to monetize ultra-interactively. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be cross-media? We will reinvent the ability of paradigms to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of RDF and CSS. What does it really mean to redefine "compellingly"? At XYZ Co., we think we know how to target perfectly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to integrate. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Without methodologies, you will lack M&A. The short-term CAD factor is efficient. The aptitude to harness compellingly leads to the capability to productize virtually. We will raise our ability to deliver without decreasing our aptitude to strategize. We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSL. Think end-to-end, holistic, plug-and-play. Think magnetic. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time.