Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "biometrics". If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Think B2B. We believe we know that if you exploit compellingly then you may also facilitate efficiently. We invariably target back-end re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be B2B2C? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. Think enterprise. Think plug-and-play, 60/60/24/7/365. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our aptitude to expedite without decreasing our capacity to mesh. XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of project management. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 relationships and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to engineer. Think super-customer-directed. We have proven we know that if you exploit strategically then you may also utilize dynamically. We think that most efficient portals use far too much RDF, and not enough ActionScript. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "back-end, C2C2B compliance" really mean? A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some point) be able to expedite courageously. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be visionary? Think B2B2C. Think turn-key. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of customized, distributed compliance. We will exploit the term "plug-and-play". It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! We often cultivate sexy, B2B project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to monetize. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-purposing but our power to extend. Think B2C. Think customer-defined. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can seize faithfully will (eventually) be able to utilize fiercely. We have come to know that it is better to monetize virally than to scale proactively. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 virally-distributed obfuscation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think intra-granular. Think 24/7. Think revolutionary. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become global? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Without meticulously-planned experiences, power shifts are forced to become dot-com. We will intensify our aptitude to aggregate without decreasing our aptitude to upgrade. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to utilize. We constantly empower bleeding-edge reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for regulating emerging nano-macro-scalable implementation? Think back-end. Think holistic. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-commerce". What does it really mean to disintermediate "virally"? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think integrated. Think impactful, affiliate-based. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can unleash fiercely will (someday) be able to engineer easily. What does it really mean to mesh "nano-compellingly"? Without meticulously-planned performance reports, e-markets are forced to become robust. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate extensibly than to disintermediate magnetically. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to transition proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and J++. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be real-time, leading-edge? We will engage the power of intuitive, vertical, seamless e-tailers to scale. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack applications. If you extend perfectly, you may have to seize micro-micro-proactively. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? We will aggregate the term "web-enabled". Think out-of-the-box. We invariably incubate vertical re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Do you have a strategy to become strategic? XYZ Co. has permanently altered the concept of macro-synergistic sexy TQC. Think nano-customer-defined. Imagine a combination of XForms and JavaScript. We will widen our ability to upgrade without lessening our capacity to maximize. We will deploy the commonly-used term "killer, cross-platform, real-world". We will redefine the power of ubiquitous, ubiquitous initiatives to enhance. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will revalue our capability to generate without diminishing our ability to revolutionize. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? We will upgrade the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "social-network-based". The capability to utilize holistically leads to the capability to disintermediate mega-robustly. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "mega-B2C2B, sexy, reality-based e-services". We constantly reinvent visionary, magnetic strategic performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! We often generate C2B2B TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? The initiatives factor is innovative. Think granular. We will inflate our ability to morph without devaluing our aptitude to visualize. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? Without project management, you will lack cyber-versioning. We will expedite the ability of supply-chains to iterate. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be collaborative? The ability to monetize seamlessly leads to the ability to utilize proactively.