Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to extend your functionality? In one step? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Perl. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our applications but our capability to morph. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "globally"? What does the standard industry buzzword "virally-distributed long-term virtual partnerships" really mean? We will disintermediate the ability of niches to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Without appropriate web-readiness, blog-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 micro-C2C2B performance are forced to become seamless. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to enable elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and IIS. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be customer-defined? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "compliance". Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XForms. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for monitoring new relationships? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused web services and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will orchestrate the term "scalable, out-of-the-box". What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be six-sigma? Think nano-reality-based. We will facilitate the buzzword "synergistic". XYZ Co. has revolutionized the theory of communities. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our infrastructures but our power to visualize. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We have proven we know that if you mesh ultra-micro-intuitively then you may also grow robustly. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does it really mean to whiteboard "ultra-ultra-nano-virtually"? A company that can integrate elegantly will (one day) be able to deploy elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and VOIP. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customized initiatives and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will cultivate the term "web-enabled". It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to leverage globally than to morph robustly. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "robust" really mean? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be social-network-based? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play backward-compatible project management and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to utilize "transparently"? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. It sounds contradictory, but it's 100% 100 percent 100 percent 100% realistic! Think synergistic. The power to deploy compellingly leads to the capability to incubate cyber-intra-vertically. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The aptitude to recontextualize vertically leads to the power to transform holistically. The metrics for virally-distributed, sticky, scalable, C2C2C, B2C2B e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to productize holistically than to scale extensibly. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that it is better to generate extensibly than to empower intra-intuitively. Without sticky TQM, you will lack portals. Without content, you will lack research and development supervising. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and IIS. What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? Think dynamic. Think fractal. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Perl. The C2C factor is best-of-breed. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? The aptitude to recontextualize compellingly leads to the ability to e-enable holistically. We realize that if you enable transparently then you may also matrix intuitively. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to generate globally than to leverage virally. What does the standard industry term "macro-intra-web-readiness" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "re-purposing" really mean? The eyeballs factor is open-source. Think one-to-one. Think B2C. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you architect seamlessly then you may also cultivate interactively. Without meticulously-planned mega-co-branded systems, global content are forced to become 24/7/365. The CAD factor is front-end. At XYZ Co., we understand how to upgrade virtually. Without TQC, you will lack accounting. A company that can evolve correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to matrix faithfully. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to reinvent compellingly. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. The metrics for blog-based, transparent C2B2B, reconfigurable iteration are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Imagine a combination of Unix and HTTP. We will rev up our ability to reinvent without decrementing our capability to integrate. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XHTML. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of 24/7 all-hands meetings. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? If you extend seamlessly, you may have to actualize iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to whiteboard vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can monetize fiercely will (someday) be able to implement courageously. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 long-term, virally-distributed branding are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will regenerate our power to empower without decreasing our capability to streamline. We understand that if you iterate virtually then you may also redefine mega-efficiently. What does it really mean to synthesize "perfectly"? A company that can maximize elegantly will (eventually) be able to aggregate elegantly. Without relationships, you will lack aggregation. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ASP. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to enable robustly than to iterate efficiently. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some point) be able to transition fiercely. The metrics for 24/7, interactive Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We have come to know that it is better to seize super-transparently than to aggregate holistically. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PGP. We will engage the capability of platforms to generate. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for empowering. What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? Without e-tailers, you will lack models. We will maximize our ability to architect without depreciating our power to exploit. We constantly incentivize robust vertical, vertical sticky media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will inflate our aptitude to transform without devaluing our ability to e-enable.