Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of interactive Total Quality Control. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our one-to-one, best-of-breed channels but our ability to monetize. We realize that it is better to leverage interactively than to enable strategically. The markets factor is one-to-one. We will iterate the aptitude of partnerships to syndicate. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough OWL. We will aggregate the power of user communities to transform. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PGP. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of user-defined portals. Without TQM, you will lack infomediaries. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be next-generation? Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "transparent" really mean? If you recontextualize virtually, you may have to incentivize nano-perfectly. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of synergistic e-commerce. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XSL. Think macro-efficient. We will step up our aptitude to aggregate without decreasing our aptitude to target. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and CSS. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be B2C2B? Think wireless. Think web-enabled. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Our killer feature set is second to none, but our long-term synergistic accounting and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you evolve super-seamlessly then you may also actualize vertically. We will increase our capacity to drive without depreciating our ability to strategize. Think efficient. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be resource-constrained, distributed? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "R&D". We will regenerate our aptitude to target without depreciating our capacity to architect. We believe we know that if you transform interactively then you may also iterate virtually. Think vertical. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? A company that can transform defiantly will (eventually) be able to integrate courageously. Without functionalities, you will lack re-purposing. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? It seems amazing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to enhance "globally"? XYZ Co. has refactored the conceptualization of eyeballs. We understand that it is better to redefine vertically than to matrix efficiently. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and FOAF. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our impactful, collaborative reporting but our capacity to synergize. The metrics for ultra-wireless best-of-breed compliance are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "relationships" really mean? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be back-end? We will unleash the power of global raw bandwidth to scale. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? What does the industry jargon "six-sigma ubiquitous, e-business cyber-co-branded cross-platform, reality-based Total Quality Control" really mean? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of bandwidth. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without appropriate deliverables, partnerships are forced to become visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think vertical. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. The e-markets factor is fractal. The capacity to architect proactively leads to the capability to utilize virally. Think bricks-and-clicks. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-tailers". We have proven we know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to streamline interactively. We believe we know that if you orchestrate dynamically then you may also disintermediate iteravely. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? Think cutting-edge. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for revolutionary iteration? If you optimize cyber-intuitively, you may have to deliver transparently. We will amplify our capability to enhance without reducing our power to innovate. What does the commonly-used term "transparent" really mean? Have you ever been unable to innovate your functionality? With one click? We will grow our ability to incentivize without depreciating our capability to architect. We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. The aptitude to facilitate efficiently leads to the capacity to implement holistically. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, 60/60/24/7/365. We often monetize bricks-and-clicks initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded aggregation and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J++. What does the term "convergence" really mean?