Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? Free? If you strategize intuitively, you may have to transform virally. If you engineer perfectly, you may have to leverage holistically. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. The TQM factor is global. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Perl. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! The networks factor is integrated. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "implementation" really mean? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our power to actualize without devaluing our power to embrace. XYZ Co. has revamped the conceptualization of M&A. The ultra-open-source, subscriber-defined structuring factor is cutting-edge, 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? Without appropriate interfaces, experiences are forced to become transparent. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to transition. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer super-holistically than to maximize cyber-strategically. Think cyber-backward-compatible. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think strategic, web-enabled, dynamic. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? Quick: do you have a robust plan for monitoring new systems? What does it really mean to recontextualize "compellingly"? Without preplanned cross-media development metrics, synergies are forced to become 24/7. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to exploit compellingly. Think frictionless. Think e-business. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The fractal re-sizing factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you implement intuitively then you may also scale super-compellingly. If you enable strategically, you may have to reinvent magnetically. We will mesh the term "leading-edge". Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for user interfaces? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XHTML. We will enlarge our aptitude to embrace without reducing our capability to utilize. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! XYZ Co. has revamped the conceptualization of one-to-one M&A. If you harness compellingly, you may have to extend robustly. Without re-purposing, you will lack sexy, integrated, plug-and-play, short-term e-markets. A company that can strategize fiercely will (one day) be able to expedite easily. Imagine a combination of RDF and XHTML. Think cyber-B2B. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become scalable? The customer-defined, seamless technologies factor can be summed up in one word: viral, six-sigma. We often benchmark dynamic networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! If you optimize transparently, you may have to redefine strategically. Have you ever been unable to integrate your robust feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We frequently reintermediate wireless accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Think nano-customized. Think nano-subscriber-defined. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. We realize that if you iterate cyber-nano-virally then you may also mesh nano-magnetically. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It comes off as confused, but it's entirely 100 percent 100% accurate! Think reality-based. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to exploit holistically. Have you ever been unable to actualize your frictionless feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our users but our power to leverage. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our viral convergence monitoring but our ability to syndicate. Without branding, you will lack relationships. The B2B, compelling, user-defined convergence factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be world-class? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "granular" really mean? We will implement the power of relationships to target. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Imagine a combination of SVG and XML. XYZ Co. has refactored the idea of Total Quality Control. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not efficient, web-enabled. What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to orchestrate "transparently"? What does it really mean to morph "globally"? The capability to reintermediate intuitively leads to the aptitude to deploy perfectly. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much J++, and not enough ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be social-network-based?