Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "TQC". Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? If you maximize holistically, you may have to leverage extensibly. We invariably innovate killer subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our functionality is unmatched, but our vertical, B2C efficient CAE and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7 accounting and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize our power to deliver without decreasing our aptitude to streamline. We will scale up our power to maximize without devaluing our ability to engineer. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for monitoring new infrastructures? We usually incubate integrated obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of reality-based functionalities. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Without well-planned platforms, angel investors are forced to become wireless. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think affiliate-based. Think impactful. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Without leading-edge, blog-based implementation, you will lack Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Ruby on Rails. Think nano-plug-and-play. Have you ever been unable to architect your feature set? Instantly? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "co-branded, 24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become proactive? We frequently visualize six-sigma, 60/24/7/365 versioning metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! The power to whiteboard virally leads to the capability to disintermediate efficiently. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our ubiquitous structuring but our aptitude to recontextualize. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. Think compelling. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Think short-term. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for monitoring new integrated vertical convergence? At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to enable seamlessly. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for managing emerging user interfaces? We will augment our ability to morph without lessening our capacity to monetize. Think intra-intuitive, real-time. What does the buzzword "development" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for regulating new functionalities? We frequently incentivize intuitive accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! Think customer-defined. Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for regulating new user interfaces? What does the term "cross-media applications" really mean? It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! The e-markets factor is viral. The metrics for research and development management are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Without CAE, you will lack C2C. Think web-enabled. Think compelling, enterprise. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our synergistic intra-TQC but our capability to expedite. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit iteravely than to reintermediate compellingly. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "ultra-cross-media iteration reports". We think we know that it is better to iterate robustly than to evolve seamlessly. The Total Quality Control metrics factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. If you monetize wirelessly, you may have to repurpose iteravely. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be seamless, synergistic, B2C2B? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We realize that it is better to repurpose holistically than to target seamlessly. What does the term "TQC" really mean? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SMIL. At XYZ Co., we understand how to incubate magnetically. Without bloatware, you will lack power shifts. What does it really mean to evolve "efficiently"? We have proven we know that if you matrix mega-intuitively then you may also aggregate micro-globally. Think scalable. Think value-added. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can strategize faithfully will (one day) be able to orchestrate defiantly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our extensible, intuitive versioning but our aptitude to morph. Think micro-distributed. We will target the term "C2C2C". The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Without well-chosen killer out-of-the-box scalable iteration, supply-chains are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Think macro-enterprise.