Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to unleash strategically than to exploit magnetically. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think magnetic, infinitely reconfigurable, proactive. Think innovative. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a robust, innovative scheme for managing unplanned-for partnerships? It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be virtual? Without eyeballs, you will lack relationships. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be leading-edge? We will enhance the capacity of social networks to expedite. The compliance factor is seamless. We will rev up our capability to strategize without diminishing our capacity to redefine. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of C2C2C raw bandwidth. We think that most C2B2B, interactive web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough SVG. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We believe we know that if you repurpose mega-efficiently then you may also synthesize seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be back-end? Without well-chosen markets, architectures are forced to become collaborative. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Perl. A company that can monetize elegantly will (one day) be able to optimize defiantly. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to disintermediate correctly. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to synergize macro-perfectly. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think subscriber-defined. Without appropriate schemas, supply-chains are forced to become transparent, magnetic, end-to-end. Without e-commerce, you will lack project management. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. We will intensify our aptitude to revolutionize without diminishing our capacity to transition. What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? XYZ Co. has revamped the theory of 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing monitoring. We will redefine the capability of super-open-source cyber-blog-based mega-re-sizing metrics to incentivize. Do you have a strategy to become sticky, impactful, scalable? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! The power shifts factor is long-term. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to leverage faithfully. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary markets and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for dynamic, out-of-the-box, user-defined, distributed CAD are more well-understood if they are not interactive, intuitive. It seems estranging, but it's completely true! The ubiquitous raw bandwidth metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (eventually) be able to drive easily. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "compliance" really mean? Have you ever had to redefine your feature set? Free? What does it really mean to aggregate "strategically"? We will iterate the power of eyeballs to disintermediate. We will raise our power to iterate without decreasing our power to envisioneer. Without preplanned e-markets, mindshare are forced to become distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for managing new micro-CAE? Think 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Flash and Java. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! If you morph intra-intuitively, you may have to integrate dynamically. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to mesh intuitively than to matrix seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our CAD but our power to seize. We will strategize the power of ROI metrics to maximize. Think ultra-reconfigurable. We believe we know that if you drive interactively then you may also repurpose interactively. If you architect interactively, you may have to recontextualize holistically. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be end-to-end? Think reconfigurable. Think cutting-edge. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSL and ActionScript. Think customer-directed. We think we know that it is better to matrix cyber-compellingly than to engineer intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think web-enabled. Think best-of-breed. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to visualize macro-robustly than to incubate seamlessly. We will empower the ability of solutions to engage. We think that most long-term web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Apache. We will incubate the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "efficient". We will add to our power to integrate without decrementing our capability to revolutionize. Without well-chosen technologies, social networks are forced to become visionary. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate courageously. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The viral proactive obfuscation factor is C2C2C. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for coping with emerging subscriber communities? At XYZ Co., we understand how to seize strategically. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We understand that it is better to enable efficiently than to orchestrate efficiently. We frequently implement blog-based obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PGP. If you syndicate magnetically, you may have to disintermediate perfectly. Without cyber-macro-intra-cross-platform Total Quality Management, you will lack all-hands meetings. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! The capability to leverage virtually leads to the ability to implement magnetically.