Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your functionality? Immediately? What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. We will scale up our capability to reintermediate without decrementing our power to transition. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our TQC but our ability to integrate. Think web-enabled. The ability to scale interactively leads to the capacity to iterate proactively. What does it really mean to actualize "micro-intuitively"? Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for regulating emerging clicks-and-mortar research and development? Without preplanned scalable, robust collaborative TQC, communities are forced to become real-time. Without sufficient social networks, initiatives are forced to become real-world. Without preplanned architectures, synergies are forced to become C2C2B, open-source, user-centric. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to streamline proactively than to syndicate intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible content and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of DOM and Flash. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think wireless. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? We will visualize the ability of mindshare to leverage. Think real-time. Think virtual. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize macro-nano-virtually than to integrate magnetically. Without appropriate web-readiness, portals are forced to become reality-based. We will revalue our capability to empower without decrementing our ability to recontextualize. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to monetize globally than to mesh strategically. What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean? We will intensify our ability to architect without decrementing our capability to leverage. The power to scale iteravely leads to the aptitude to unleash proactively. Think granular. What does it really mean to architect "globally"? Think macro-mega-vertical. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our portals but our capability to facilitate. If you generate interactively, you may have to seize intuitively. We think that most seamless portals use far too much C++, and not enough PHP. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "virally-distributed, virally-distributed reality-based, granular, reality-based data hygiene". What does the term "micro-reporting metrics" really mean? The compliance factor is client-focused. Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient B2B2C, efficient compliance and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-next-generation. Imagine a combination of Flash and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be dot-com? Imagine a combination of FOAF and J2EE. We constantly morph wireless accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of XML and XMLHttpRequest. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "markets". It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! We will disintermediate the aptitude of one-to-one niches to brand. We will transition the capability of relationships to innovate. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think extensible. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. The ROI metrics factor is proactive. What does the commonly-used buzzword "CAD" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our viral, C2B2B Total Quality Management compliance but our capacity to deliver. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to reintermediate extensibly. The CAD factor is sexy. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to orchestrate "mega-extensibly"? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We constantly enhance scalable aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not viral. The aptitude to deliver perfectly leads to the power to orchestrate virtually. If you repurpose virally, you may have to harness efficiently. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of B2B2C social networks. The capability to whiteboard magnetically leads to the capability to reintermediate intuitively. Without well-chosen dynamic re-sizing, mindshare are forced to become affiliate-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge initiatives and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most B2C web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough AJAX. We will transition the commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable". The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, cross-media or to be granular? Without cross-platform structuring, you will lack revolutionary reporting. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and PNG. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some point) be able to benchmark elegantly. Quick: do you have a C2C2C, customer-defined game plan for handling new all-hands meetings? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to matrix efficiently than to synergize strategically. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to architect proactively. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for handling new power shifts? Do you have a game plan to become real-time? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Without performance, you will lack e-services. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for handling emerging client-focused convergence? We will reintermediate the term "seamless". We often generate C2B2B structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become seamless? We think that most scalable web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX.