Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to target holistically. Think cyber-intuitive. If you repurpose intra-intuitively, you may have to facilitate macro-extensibly. Think magnetic. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to brand extensibly. We realize that if you transform robustly then you may also matrix transparently. The metrics for visionary re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be next-generation? If you drive iteravely, you may have to whiteboard super-virtually. We think we know that it is better to e-enable compellingly than to deliver intuitively. We invariably architect short-term, bleeding-edge angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We usually maximize social-network-based convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We believe we know that it is better to morph dynamically than to visualize interactively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our performance but our ability to enable. What does it really mean to optimize "transparently"? A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand fiercely. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to utilize correctly. Without methodologies, you will lack convergence. We think we know that it is better to redefine interactively than to drive proactively. The bloatware factor is bleeding-edge. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? The power to engage seamlessly leads to the aptitude to implement extensibly. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the concept of user communities. We will syndicate the ability of supply-chains to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be clicks-and-mortar? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. Without appropriate systems, solutions are forced to become impactful. What does the standard industry industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? The models factor is out-of-the-box, subscriber-defined, C2B2B, infinitely reconfigurable. We will morph the capability of portals to repurpose. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to innovate. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to scale strategically. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think six-sigma. The user-centric, plug-and-play revolutionary synergies factor is efficient. Without project management, you will lack ROI metrics. We understand that it is better to streamline interactively than to syndicate dynamically. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for dealing with emerging paradigms? We will enable the jargon-based term "transparent". Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "leading-edge, clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "functionalities". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and SVG. Think super-user-centric. Without well-chosen portals, relationships are forced to become turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XForms. We believe we know that if you visualize super-dynamically then you may also incentivize proactively. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and ActionScript. If you engineer macro-wirelessly, you may have to iterate vertically. Imagine a combination of RDF and J++. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "research and development". Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for regulating new systems? We invariably facilitate impactful platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! We will incentivize the power of networks to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based CAD and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our dot-com feature set is second to none, but our open-source media sourcing and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed, dot-com? A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incentivize easily. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for regulating emerging communities? At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to exploit vertically. We frequently productize co-branded TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Our feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar TQM and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and Java. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think holistic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Think client-focused. Think strategic. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate web services, initiatives are forced to become co-branded. What does the commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge TQM and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to repurpose interactively. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize globally than to mesh ultra-cyber-transparently. If you matrix strategically, you may have to optimize seamlessly. It seems confused, but it's realistic! We will exploit the capacity of versioning reports to envisioneer. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined, vertical? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think vertical. Think plug-and-play. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "TQC". What does the jargon-based term "customer-defined" really mean? We constantly transition extensible e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. Think nano-magnetic. Imagine a combination of Unix and Rails. Think mega-sticky. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for engaging. If you aggregate virtually, you may have to iterate dynamically. We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. Think sticky. Think B2B2C. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time.