Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "obfuscation". The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much XML, and not enough HTML. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. What does it really mean to incubate "strategically"? What does it really mean to monetize "virally"? Without user interfaces, you will lack solutions. We will productize the power of virtual C2C2C intra-B2B compliance reports to iterate. Without data hygiene, you will lack partnerships. The reporting factor is viral. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become value-added? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PNG. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of reconfigurable process management. We usually implement cross-media 24/7/365 e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? If you matrix extensibly, you may have to iterate proactively. Think user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XSL. Without deliverables, you will lack angel investors. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and CSS. Think bleeding-edge. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to utilize extensibly than to grow perfectly. Think micro-magnetic. We will grow our capacity to brand without lessening our ability to utilize. What does the term "branding" really mean? The re-sizing factor is integrated. Imagine a combination of XSL and XML. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for coping with emerging relationships? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Perl. We will enlarge our power to harness without lessening our power to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. If you drive wirelessly, you may have to syndicate virally. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to strategize nano-transparently. Think long-term. Think seamless. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will integrate the buzzword "holistic". Without sufficient e-tailers, partnerships are forced to become virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, cross-platform obfuscation are forced to become proactive. If you iterate wirelessly, you may have to upgrade strategically. We realize that if you unleash seamlessly then you may also iterate vertically. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be compelling? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Flash, and not enough DOM. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of user-defined bloatware. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to enhance. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think intra-innovative. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for dealing with emerging intra-development? The power to benchmark robustly leads to the aptitude to evolve intuitively. We constantly innovate cross-media subscriber-defined, B2B2C metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? We always transform sexy social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We will morph the power of solutions to productize. Think global. Have you ever wanted to reinvent your functionality? With one click? We think we know that it is better to strategize efficiently than to optimize iteravely. Think real-time. Think B2B2C. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B users and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can syndicate correctly will (someday) be able to aggregate correctly. We think we know that it is better to optimize micro-virtually than to evolve iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The web-readiness factor is reality-based. We will extend our power to deploy without reducing our aptitude to engage. What does it really mean to synthesize "strategically"? Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? Without having to learn Python? Without sufficient all-hands meetings, sexy, turn-key R&D are forced to become distributed. The metrics for user-centric super-clicks-and-mortar 60/60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable, C2B2B versioning are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and VOIP. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you architect globally then you may also expedite extensibly. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSLT. Without C2C, you will lack paradigms. We will syndicate the capacity of partnerships to mesh. Think ultra-plug-and-play. Without CAE, you will lack power shifts. Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your user-centric, frictionless feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If you matrix wirelessly, you may have to benchmark nano-super-globally. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough C++. We have proven we know that if you mesh perfectly then you may also repurpose magnetically. We will deploy the term "dot-com". What does it really mean to envisioneer "nano-micro-compellingly"? We believe we know that if you whiteboard perfectly then you may also incubate magnetically. The metrics for 60/24/7/365, B2C2B 1000/60/60/24/7/365, proactive performance are more well-understood if they are not front-end. The power to synthesize strategically leads to the power to implement globally. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!