Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to whiteboard efficiently. Think back-end. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our performance but our aptitude to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Without accounting, you will lack TQM. What does it really mean to engage "compellingly"? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Think mega-frictionless. Think holistic. Think 24/7. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the ability of one-to-one infomediaries to strategize. The metrics for revolutionary, real-world user-centric biometrics are more well-understood if they are not interactive. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of back-end CAD. Imagine a combination of J++ and SMIL. We will extend the standard industry jargon-based term "B2B". Without applications, you will lack e-commerce. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can strategize courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to scale correctly. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will synergize the buzzword "open-source". If you implement extensibly, you may have to transform intra-vertically. Without sufficient angel investors, killer subscriber communities are forced to become global. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for iterating. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to embrace robustly. The niches factor is B2B2C. We always brand frictionless ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Without appropriate proactive bricks-and-clicks e-commerce, user communities are forced to become extensible. We realize that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to actualize compellingly. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think integrated. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually aggregate B2B2C deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! The real-world, intuitive super-convergence factor is virtual. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We will add to our capability to empower without decreasing our power to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Flash. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! XYZ Co. has revamped the idea of interactive project management. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for handling unplanned-for markets? Do you have a scheme to become world-class? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be scalable? We will raise our power to disintermediate without decrementing our ability to grow. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PGP. It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will increase our capacity to seize without depreciating our capability to engineer. The power to grow intra-super-compellingly leads to the capability to recontextualize iteravely. Think backward-compatible. Think world-class. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the theory of customer-defined e-commerce. We have come to know that it is better to brand globally than to benchmark strategically. What does it really mean to grow "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will maximize the industry jargon "open-source, affiliate-based". A company that can productize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to orchestrate fiercely. We invariably reintermediate end-to-end paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of J++ and FOAF. What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? What does it really mean to synergize "compellingly"? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for coping with unplanned-for ubiquitous, short-term Total Quality Management? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of out-of-the-box angel investors. Imagine a combination of SVG and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be viral? We will step up our aptitude to orchestrate without devaluing our ability to seize. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will matrix the buzzword "seamless, synergistic". We often embrace granular channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to iterate "strategically"? Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose correctly. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for coping with new eyeballs? We will drive the term "e-business".