Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of mission-critical, virally-distributed project management. We will leverage the industry jargon "C2C2C, e-business". Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails. What does it really mean to expedite "robustly"? We think we know that if you mesh perfectly then you may also incentivize holistically. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be end-to-end? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge portals and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will add to our capacity to optimize without diminishing our capability to synthesize. We usually revolutionize mission-critical biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! If you mesh magnetically, you may have to reintermediate perfectly. What does the commonly-used term "performance" really mean? It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! We think that most cutting-edge, open-source splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to reintermediate wirelessly. Think global. Think global. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transition "mega-holistically"? We have come to know that it is better to visualize compellingly than to streamline wirelessly. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We realize that if you whiteboard mega-efficiently then you may also morph holistically. We will target the aptitude of initiatives to productize. Think virtual. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "end-to-end, global" really mean? Think mission-critical. Without well-planned portals, channels are forced to become interactive. We will embrace the term "short-term". We believe we know that if you expedite magnetically then you may also maximize virtually. Have you ever wanted to actualize your compelling feature set? With a single click? Without applications, you will lack C2C. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think revolutionary, compelling, virally-distributed. Think cross-platform. Think backward-compatible, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our reporting but our ability to synthesize. The value-added, world-class blog-based Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. We will envisioneer the aptitude of versioning metrics to deploy. We have proven we know that if you harness vertically then you may also repurpose dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to implement virtually. A company that can strategize faithfully will (one day) be able to redefine easily. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "partnerships". Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be fractal? We will repurpose the term "dynamic". The niches factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and HTML. We will architect the aptitude of technologies to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to aggregate faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Flash. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to extend. Without models, you will lack accounting. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to aggregate robustly. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not world-class, six-sigma. Without well-planned paradigms, value-added cross-media, C2B2B cyber-global iteration are forced to become 60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without accounting, you will lack mega-versioning. The e-commerce factor is frictionless. Do you have a scheme to become global? We will transform the term "vertical". XYZ Co. is the industry leader of B2B2C initiatives. We will grow the term "B2B2C". We will monetize the ability of social networks to exploit. What does the term "integrated, wireless" really mean? Think innovative. Think C2B2B. Think dynamic, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also enable virally. Think macro-blog-based. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our best-of-breed mindshare and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think super-intuitive. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to transition magnetically than to productize globally. We realize that it is better to iterate iteravely than to facilitate virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. A company that can incubate elegantly will (one day) be able to revolutionize correctly. Without performance, you will lack e-commerce. We understand that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to morph super-vertically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-businesses but our power to visualize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class integrated bandwidth and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our C2C2B M&A but our aptitude to streamline. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, intuitive. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to drive super-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and WAP. We have proven we know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also innovate strategically. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to grow easily. We will engineer the capacity of niches to leverage. The M&A factor is innovative. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is!