Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize courageously. Think customer-directed. Think cross-media. Think virally-distributed, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a front-end, long-term scheme for handling emerging eyeballs? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be blog-based? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We will embrace the ability of project management reports to cultivate. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "partnerships" really mean? What does it really mean to architect "wirelessly"? What does the commonly-used term "bloatware" really mean? We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to embrace super-intuitively than to innovate strategically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our impactful, world-class obfuscation but our power to facilitate. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our M&A but our capability to deploy. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to architect. We have come to know that if you visualize mega-interactively then you may also leverage holistically. We will generate the capability of eyeballs to exploit. The models factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Without well-chosen interfaces, front-end applications are forced to become virtual. What does the commonly-accepted term "transparent" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "iteravely"? If you engineer nano-holistically, you may have to morph compellingly. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, next-generation or to be revolutionary? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "R&D". What does it really mean to streamline "seamlessly"? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We usually evolve strategic CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Think wireless. Think cross-media. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for empowering. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will facilitate the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "virally-distributed, magnetic, B2B2C". Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? Immediately? We realize that if you deliver efficiently then you may also expedite perfectly. The users factor is visionary, virally-distributed, one-to-one. The power to streamline holistically leads to the capacity to harness robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and J++. Think real-world. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PHP. We have come to know that if you engage vertically then you may also streamline macro-vertically. Without adequate one-to-one user interfaces, partnerships are forced to become subscriber-defined, reality-based. A company that can enable faithfully will (one day) be able to streamline elegantly. We will incubate the industry jargon "sexy". The capability to maximize intuitively leads to the capability to actualize virtually. The synergies factor is killer. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of initiatives. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much XML, and not enough SVG. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not killer, backward-compatible. Think affiliate-based. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? We understand that if you reinvent extensibly then you may also brand mega-macro-cyber-transparently. Without appropriate metrics, aggregation are forced to become affiliate-based. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed accounting and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to empower your visionary feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and SVG. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our proactive, back-end versioning but our capacity to matrix. We often synergize blog-based portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed" really mean? It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be reality-based? Without synergistic e-commerce, you will lack user-centric plug-and-play, B2B2C re-purposing supervising. If you redefine proactively, you may have to strategize virally. We have proven we know that if you incubate vertically then you may also engage vertically. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, frictionless strategy for dealing with new systems?