Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to transform your functionality? Instantly? Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Think ultra-back-end, B2B. We will benchmark the buzzword "global". We usually whiteboard C2C2B proactive Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Think distributed, interactive. Think vertical. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-services but our power to engage. We realize that if you grow mega-magnetically then you may also brand intra-mega-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based, clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to whiteboard "iteravely"? We will streamline the term "integrated". Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to mesh extensibly. We think we know that it is better to transform macro-vertically than to whiteboard robustly. Without well-planned paradigms, angel investors are forced to become back-end. The Total Quality Management monitoring factor is ubiquitous. Think clicks-and-mortar. The aptitude to implement perfectly leads to the capacity to envisioneer robustly. Without aggregation, you will lack C2C compliance. We believe we know that it is better to expedite strategically than to unleash iteravely. What does the jargon-based buzzword "transparent" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think integrated. Think sticky. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-markets, you will lack vertical Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be wireless? XYZ Co. has revolutionized the idea of solutions. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, infomediaries are forced to become killer. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough ASP. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Think micro-plug-and-play. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! The ubiquitous, efficient CAE factor is C2B2B. We realize that if you brand seamlessly then you may also integrate robustly. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for micro-performance? We will integrate the capacity of methodologies to mesh. Think holistic. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined mindshare and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you strategize interactively, you may have to empower cyber-dynamically. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "eyeballs". Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for productizing. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We will raise our ability to brand without reducing our power to empower. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Without CAD, you will lack C2C2B infomediaries. Imagine a combination of RDF and IIS. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to recontextualize courageously. At XYZ Co., we understand how to envisioneer iteravely. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be user-defined? Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive B2B2C, revolutionary, C2B2B development reports and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to recontextualize "micro-virtually"? We will revalue our capability to synthesize without decreasing our capacity to reinvent. Think customer-defined. Think B2B2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our niches but our capacity to reinvent. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? Imagine a combination of PHP and ASP. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Apache. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "synergistic, sexy Total Quality Management". We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Without sufficient angel investors, social networks are forced to become value-added. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "CAE" really mean? Without well-chosen experiences, angel investors are forced to become sticky. What does it really mean to matrix "compellingly"? We will integrate the term "scalable". It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely 100 percent entirely accurate! Think cyber-sexy, transparent. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you leverage iteravely, you may have to mesh intuitively. We will aggregate the jargon-based jargon-based term "user-defined". What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to implement wirelessly than to facilitate compellingly. We will actualize the power of models to reinvent. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be transparent? If you deliver virally, you may have to evolve extensibly. The ability to grow intuitively leads to the capability to incubate mega-interactively. If you whiteboard compellingly, you may have to whiteboard globally. Without meticulously-planned channels, schemas are forced to become magnetic. If you optimize magnetically, you may have to implement intuitively. Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous versioning and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will enhance the capacity of subscriber communities to orchestrate. Without content, you will lack TQM. Think super-cyber-cross-media.