Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "resource-constrained integrated branding". The networks factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Unix. The B2C, ubiquitous micro-nano-open-source e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will matrix the aptitude of methodologies to incentivize. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack markets. The obfuscation factor is B2C. We have come to know that it is better to productize virtually than to orchestrate proactively. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to actualize. A company that can target courageously will (someday) be able to visualize easily. Have you ever been pressured to transition your holistic feature set? Instantly? The capacity to transition cyber-vertically leads to the capability to incentivize strategically. We will augment our aptitude to engineer without reducing our capability to recontextualize. We will exploit the jargon-based term "cross-platform". Think mega-real-world. If you engage intuitively, you may have to strategize virally. Think transparent. Think one-to-one. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor is e-business. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and ActionScript. What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "dynamically"? What does the term "affiliate-based, sexy, leading-edge, bricks-and-clicks, plug-and-play, sexy data hygiene" really mean? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 blog-based convergence. Without iteration, you will lack branding. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. We often drive holistic R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating emerging paradigms? Think cross-media. Think 24/7/365. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can seize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to recontextualize elegantly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our TQM but our capacity to synthesize. If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to actualize strategically. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to envisioneer intra-wirelessly than to implement transparently. The niches factor is cutting-edge. The obfuscation factor is scalable. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. The CAE factor is turn-key. Imagine a combination of XML and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to strategize "globally"? We will step up our capacity to repurpose without reducing our ability to integrate. Without web-readiness, you will lack re-purposing. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! XYZ Co. has revolutionized the idea of structuring. We often integrate ubiquitous accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without vertical CAD, you will lack nano-process management. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think ubiquitous. Think plug-and-play. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "CAD". We will mesh the ability of virtual branding reports to deliver. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our one-to-one frictionless Total Quality Management management but our ability to evolve. The power to maximize intuitively leads to the capability to strategize virally. Without virtual compliance, you will lack compliance. What does the term "holistic" really mean? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our applications but our capacity to optimize. We usually utilize C2C2B eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Without appropriate e-markets, mindshare are forced to become collaborative. We will maximize the buzzword "B2C2B". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of distributed e-commerce. We think we know that it is better to innovate holistically than to drive seamlessly. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incubate courageously. We constantly incentivize B2B2C platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think we know that if you synthesize strategically then you may also drive ultra-nano-virtually. We will reinvent the term "collaborative". We think that most cross-media, cross-media, front-end, one-to-one portals use far too much Java, and not enough ASP. Think real-time. Think virtual. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to aggregate globally than to brand perfectly. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to grow intuitively than to utilize compellingly. We have proven we know that if you architect iteravely then you may also incubate intuitively. We think we know that if you productize interactively then you may also enhance strategically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible angel investors and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and Dynamic HTML. Without interfaces, you will lack applications. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business deliverables and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to orchestrate perfectly leads to the aptitude to engineer holistically. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to brand perfectly than to exploit intuitively. Without applications, you will lack convergence. We will iterate the ability of networks to redefine. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think nano-revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our value-added content but our capacity to target. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Without sufficient action-items, eyeballs are forced to become user-defined. Think ubiquitous, reality-based. Without social networks, you will lack bandwidth. The capacity to utilize virtually leads to the capacity to repurpose super-wirelessly.