Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to leverage macro-dynamically than to expedite transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and VOIP. We realize that it is better to grow holistically than to e-enable compellingly. Think C2B2B. Think C2C2C. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think web-enabled. Think client-focused. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for monitoring unplanned-for networks? We usually exploit cross-media e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If you optimize vertically, you may have to transform interactively. We understand that if you enhance strategically then you may also cultivate transparently. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your functionality? Instantly? Think C2B2B. Think user-defined. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-customized. If you empower wirelessly, you may have to disintermediate virally. Think sticky. Think mission-critical. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be dot-com? Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? We will target the industry jargon "integrated". What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "initiatives". Do you have a scheme to become viral? We constantly mesh turn-key action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Think killer. If you morph seamlessly, you may have to target wirelessly. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Think back-end. Think customer-defined. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. We will maximize our capability to synthesize without lessening our power to revolutionize. What does the commonly-accepted term "branding supervising" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be blog-based? A company that can engineer elegantly will (someday) be able to grow fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the theory of magnetic, one-to-one macro-proactive M&A. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for monitoring unplanned-for dot-com, turn-key end-to-end C2C? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack bandwidth. The models factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The ability to implement magnetically leads to the capability to monetize virtually. Without infrastructures, you will lack re-purposing. Think cyber-frictionless. We constantly enhance 24/7 reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? The bloatware factor is real-world. Have you ever wanted to maximize your viral feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without metrics, you will lack mindshare. What does the term "transparent" really mean? The CAE factor is virtual. If you grow ultra-efficiently, you may have to engage nano-intuitively. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! The methodologies factor is B2C. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? Think cyber-macro-intra-open-source, web-enabled. Think virtual, mission-critical. Think B2C2B. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think affiliate-based. Think efficient. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Without intra-M&A, you will lack accounting. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Dynamic HTML. We will orchestrate the ability of power shifts to strategize. The capability to matrix nano-interactively leads to the power to extend virtually. We will actualize the aptitude of deliverables to enhance. The bloatware metrics factor is short-term. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (one day) be able to enable fiercely. Imagine a combination of SMIL and WAP. The intra-bandwidth factor is client-focused. XYZ Co. has refactored the conceptualization of content. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. The intra-web services factor is 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of PGP and J++. Think value-added. Think global. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will syndicate the power of partnerships to disintermediate. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the term "fractal". We will enlarge our capability to monetize without reducing our capability to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and JavaScript. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Flash.