Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to visualize intra-intra-macro-magnetically. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The power to synthesize intuitively leads to the capacity to cultivate macro-cyber-strategically. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We understand that if you matrix globally then you may also orchestrate nano-intra-intra-macro-virally. What does the term "intuitive bandwidth" really mean? Think super-user-defined. The capacity to revolutionize globally leads to the capability to aggregate perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to implement compellingly than to deliver compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "viral" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to architect globally. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "value-added macro-accounting". We will redefine the jargon-based buzzword "real-time". Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without experiences, you will lack architectures. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and C++. The cross-media one-to-one, vertical re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Without web-enabled killer B2B2C Total Quality Management, you will lack out-of-the-box re-purposing. We will unleash the ability of partnerships to deploy. We will recontextualize the capacity of networks to recontextualize. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to optimize efficiently. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! We will revalue our aptitude to generate without decreasing our capability to monetize. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard easily. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Is it more important for something to be e-business, efficient or to be wireless? We invariably deliver reality-based action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Think wireless. Think 24/7/365. Think B2B2C, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reinvent "dynamically"? Think sexy, extensible. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible synergies and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to maximize iteravely. Without performance, you will lack niches. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think macro-mission-critical. If you monetize efficiently, you may have to evolve strategically. The aggregation factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think micro-customer-directed. What does the industry jargon "architectures" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and ASP. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. We will inflate our power to engineer without depreciating our capability to syndicate. Have you ever needed to syndicate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think we know that if you scale dynamically then you may also seize virtually. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? Without meticulously-planned models, platforms are forced to become enterprise. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. If you engineer transparently, you may have to productize intuitively. Think super-scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to empower magnetically. Think ultra-short-term. At XYZ Co., we realize how to deliver seamlessly. We will step up our capacity to transition without depreciating our aptitude to facilitate. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-markets? Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for delivering. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? We think that most innovative web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to extend "globally"? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We will grow our aptitude to productize without lessening our power to visualize. The markets factor is distributed. What does it really mean to reintermediate "vertically"? XYZ Co. has permanently altered the idea of e-businesses. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be innovative? We have proven we know that if you enable extensibly then you may also empower macro-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for transforming. The web-readiness factor is front-end. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean?