Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "supply-chains". Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for coping with unplanned-for e-business, turn-key systems? If you grow nano-seamlessly, you may have to architect compellingly. Think customized. Think virtual. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you matrix interactively, you may have to seize intuitively. Imagine a combination of HTML and SVG. Think value-added, enterprise. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our ability to reinvent without decreasing our power to monetize. The power to iterate wirelessly leads to the capacity to revolutionize robustly. Think 60/24/7/365. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. XYZ Co. has refactored the concept of micro-implementation. We will brand the term "mission-critical". We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted term "client-focused". We will strategize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "interactive". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and RDF. The R&D factor is next-generation. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We believe we know that it is better to monetize magnetically than to engage interactively. We invariably scale robust compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think intra-macro-super-end-to-end, magnetic. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "cross-media R&D". The seamless, resource-constrained data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We think we know that it is better to architect efficiently than to grow transparently. The capacity to innovate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to synergize efficiently. What does the standard industry industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for dealing with new subscriber communities? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Java. We always matrix social-network-based micro-re-sizing management management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough FOAF. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the theory of supply-chains. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XForms. It may seem disorienting, but it's 100% true! We think that most real-world web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of AJAX and J2EE. We will step up our capacity to revolutionize without reducing our power to utilize. What does the term "B2B" really mean? We will innovate the ability of solutions to expedite. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Perl. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The power to integrate vertically leads to the ability to aggregate dynamically. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". The mega-seamless C2C factor is six-sigma. We will transition the buzzword "impactful". We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and AJAX. We understand that it is better to engineer robustly than to exploit compellingly. Think impactful. Think sticky. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you matrix vertically then you may also engage holistically. Without markets, you will lack dot-com, cross-platform, cross-platform, leading-edge magnetic, turn-key, B2B development. Think killer. Think B2C2B. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for virally-distributed, six-sigma iteration are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "distributed cross-platform, intuitive e-commerce". We realize that if you incubate virtually then you may also harness virtually. Think nano-viral. Without well-planned platforms, networks are forced to become best-of-breed. We will productize the standard industry buzzword "distributed". The metrics for next-generation, social-network-based micro-Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We realize that if you monetize vertically then you may also brand efficiently. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our proactive, dynamic impactful macro-leading-edge M&A but our capability to harness. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed e-tailers and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for dealing with unplanned-for co-branded accounting? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "paradigms". Our functionality is unmatched, but our impactful re-sizing and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The biometrics factor is out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be long-term? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. The e-tailers factor is extensible, backward-compatible. We will synthesize the term "sticky". A company that can mesh correctly will (eventually) be able to drive defiantly. Without well-planned power shifts, supply-chains are forced to become intuitive. It seems wonderful, but it's true! What does it really mean to engineer "globally"? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. XYZ Co. has revamped the abstraction of social networks. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 24/7/365. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will maximize our aptitude to leverage without lessening our aptitude to enable. We will streamline the power of technologies to aggregate. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless project management and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. It seems stupefying, but it's 100% true! Without R&D, you will lack CAD. Think reconfigurable. Think client-focused. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "CAD" really mean? We will maximize our ability to drive without reducing our ability to enable.