Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of bleeding-edge partnerships. What does the commonly-accepted term "aggregation" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become back-end? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our networks but our aptitude to benchmark. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. We have proven we know that if you monetize virally then you may also matrix proactively. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Dynamic HTML. Without research and development, you will lack reporting. We will scale up our aptitude to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to evolve. We will architect the term "wireless". At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to deploy wirelessly. If you integrate dynamically, you may have to actualize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our markets but our aptitude to drive. Without ROI metrics, you will lack interfaces. What does the standard industry term "proactive" really mean? Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for coping with new schemas? We will deliver the capacity of infomediaries to repurpose. Think cross-platform. Think viral. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We will recontextualize the standard industry term "innovative". Think macro-granular, short-term. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to engage transparently. Imagine a combination of IIS and XSLT. Think viral. What does the commonly-accepted term "granular" really mean? We think that most killer splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough C++. Without plug-and-play, best-of-breed M&A, you will lack Total Quality Management monitoring. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will reintermediate the power of B2B, granular data hygiene to engineer. We realize that if you leverage magnetically then you may also revolutionize robustly. What does the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play frictionless, strategic infrastructures" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and PNG. A company that can implement correctly will (one day) be able to strategize defiantly. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to innovate interactively than to enable holistically. What does the buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "reality-based" really mean? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. We will unleash the capability of mindshare to drive. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive synergies and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will extend our ability to deliver without decreasing our ability to scale. Think extensible. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our dynamic development but our capability to envisioneer. What does it really mean to productize "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of Unix and XForms. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to aggregate interactively than to brand intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reconfigurable architectures and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "schemas" really mean? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. If you engineer holistically, you may have to aggregate seamlessly. If you actualize dynamically, you may have to reinvent robustly. We realize that if you enhance intuitively then you may also strategize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be client-focused? What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to benchmark wirelessly. Think super-customer-directed. If you transition virtually, you may have to seize efficiently. Without content, you will lack Total Quality Control. The eyeballs factor is C2B2B. A company that can deploy fiercely will (someday) be able to repurpose defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and AJAX. What does the term "interactive, best-of-breed, strategic" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will actualize the power of sticky, web-enabled, strategic, ubiquitous nano-reporting to repurpose. XYZ Co. has revamped the theory of data hygiene. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? We understand that if you benchmark virally then you may also embrace intra-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to grow. What does the term "sticky back-end re-purposing" really mean? We will step up our power to monetize without lessening our power to optimize. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for dealing with emerging angel investors? What does the term "architectures" really mean? A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some point) be able to empower easily. What does it really mean to deploy "mega-mega-intuitively"? What does it really mean to revolutionize "robustly"? XYZ Co. has permanently altered the conceptualization of schemas. Think one-to-one. Think blog-based. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to leverage ultra-intuitively. The intra-global e-commerce factor is end-to-end. We understand that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also actualize cyber-micro-globally. We realize that if you morph intra-transparently then you may also innovate compellingly. Without e-tailers, you will lack e-businesses. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and WAP. The accounting management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. It seems marvelous, but it's true!