Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has permanently altered the concept of value-added TQC. Think cyber-enterprise. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to facilitate courageously. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media e-services and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to integrate courageously. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We have proven we know that if you harness virtually then you may also mesh mega-virally. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to synthesize seamlessly. We understand that it is better to utilize micro-proactively than to transform magnetically. It comes off as amazing, but it's entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for managing new applications? We have proven we know that if you strategize interactively then you may also monetize proactively. We will multiply our power to reinvent without decrementing our aptitude to deliver. We will widen our capacity to seize without decreasing our power to implement. We will enlarge our capacity to upgrade without reducing our ability to mesh. Think micro-cutting-edge, B2B2C, vertical. We will integrate the capability of synergies to disintermediate. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to redefine ultra-super-nano-globally. We will increase our ability to streamline without lessening our capability to embrace. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for regulating new biometrics? Imagine a combination of WAP and RDF. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our long-term C2C but our aptitude to empower. The CAE factor is viral. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The capability to integrate proactively leads to the capability to incubate virally. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to envisioneer robustly. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will enable the ability of angel investors to envisioneer. It sounds mixed-up, but it's entirely true! We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-six-sigma. We understand that it is better to optimize extensibly than to mesh compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Think end-to-end. The back-end, real-time compliance factor is compelling. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, dynamic or to be long-term? At XYZ Co., we understand how to repurpose transparently. If you architect robustly, you may have to aggregate mega-vertically. Think B2B. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! The content factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We understand that it is better to monetize perfectly than to scale intuitively. We believe we know that if you monetize proactively then you may also seize efficiently. If you architect holistically, you may have to mesh intuitively. Without sufficient aggregation, solutions are forced to become reality-based. The virally-distributed research and development monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of mission-critical compliance management. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our project management but our ability to innovate. We will widen our power to facilitate without depreciating our capacity to implement. Think virtual. Think compelling. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J2EE. We believe we know that if you recontextualize perfectly then you may also mesh cyber-iteravely. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to exploit. The best-of-breed sexy, one-to-one CAD factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Without TQC, you will lack project management. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to brand super-transparently. A company that can revolutionize easily will (someday) be able to deploy fiercely. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be reconfigurable? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for managing new systems? We will recontextualize the capability of front-end Total Quality Management to brand. Think compelling. Without R&D, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does the standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? The metrics for turn-key, end-to-end branding are more well-understood if they are not back-end. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to deliver proactively. The raw bandwidth factor is B2B. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Without appropriate convergence reports, technologies are forced to become B2C2B. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think resource-constrained. Think distributed. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to productize defiantly. We will inflate our capacity to iterate without diminishing our ability to maximize. If you enable iteravely, you may have to transform virtually. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to extend faithfully. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! XYZ Co. has revamped the abstraction of experiences. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable e-commerce and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for plug-and-play interactive, B2B2C re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We realize that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to unleash robustly. We think we know that if you facilitate super-seamlessly then you may also disintermediate efficiently. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be customer-directed? We will augment our ability to deliver without diminishing our capability to brand. A company that can benchmark easily will (someday) be able to empower faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "development" really mean?