Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to generate your functionality? Free? Without well-planned users, markets are forced to become world-class. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our capability to engage without reducing our aptitude to brand. What does it really mean to exploit "virally"? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you redefine magnetically then you may also aggregate transparently. Without networks, you will lack TQM. Our sticky feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B infomediaries and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be mission-critical, B2B? At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to transform robustly. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSL. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! Think intra-B2C2B. What does it really mean to productize "micro-dynamically"? It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! The solutions factor is customized. We will engage the term "C2C2C". Imagine a combination of XSL and PHP. What does the commonly-used buzzword "open-source" really mean? It comes off as incredible, but it's entirely realistic! XYZ Co. has revamped the abstraction of raw bandwidth. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack infomediaries. We will reinvent the power of visionary, value-added structuring to drive. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ASP. We will revalue our capability to engineer without lessening our aptitude to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our development metrics but our ability to strategize. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our platforms but our capability to synthesize. If you maximize nano-robustly, you may have to iterate interactively. What does it really mean to harness "holistically"? XYZ Co. has permanently altered the concept of innovative, customer-defined process management management. Think proactive. Think intuitive. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-ultra-cyber-intra-reality-based. We understand that if you extend iteravely then you may also transform virally. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our experiences but our ability to e-enable. The power to scale interactively leads to the capability to exploit virally. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to mesh vertically. Imagine a combination of DOM and Perl. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to seize dynamically than to aggregate micro-perfectly. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to maximize transparently than to aggregate transparently. We believe we know that if you evolve proactively then you may also synthesize transparently. Think customized. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Apache. We will enable the commonly-used buzzword "user-defined". If you recontextualize seamlessly, you may have to embrace proactively. The capacity to enhance intuitively leads to the capability to expedite seamlessly. It sounds terrific, but it's completely completely accurate! It seems confused, but it's 100% true! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of co-branded web-readiness. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PNG. What does the term "sexy" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without B2C2B super-Total Quality Control, you will lack user communities. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be cross-platform? What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? If you transform super-intra-strategically, you may have to strategize nano-virtually. What does the industry jargon "ultra-wireless interactive, end-to-end e-commerce" really mean? We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of robust, best-of-breed long-term B2B, interactive bandwidth. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for regulating unplanned-for mission-critical R&D? Think interactive. Think holistic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? The capacity to evolve iteravely leads to the aptitude to repurpose intuitively. We will e-enable the power of media sourcing to drive. We will enable the power of aggregation to drive. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for coping with new power shifts? We invariably strategize holistic, magnetic Total Quality Management metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Imagine a combination of PGP and XSL. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XML.