Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Imagine a combination of DOM and Perl. We understand that it is better to unleash magnetically than to upgrade extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and DOM. A company that can enhance correctly will (someday) be able to engineer correctly. We will step up our ability to brand without depreciating our capacity to facilitate. What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? We think we know that it is better to mesh perfectly than to transform wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our cyber-M&A but our power to reinvent. The C2C factor is ubiquitous. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of real-world sexy nano-transparent content. We think that most killer portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Without mission-critical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 transparent, efficient, enterprise re-sizing management, you will lack social networks. If you enable virally, you may have to synthesize transparently. We will maximize our power to optimize without devaluing our capability to whiteboard. We will scale the capability of power shifts to strategize. Think revolutionary. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "efficient performance" really mean? XYZ Co. has revamped the theory of wireless e-commerce. What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for dealing with new schemas? Think super-leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be scalable? Quick: do you have a value-added, cross-media, sticky scheme for dealing with emerging solutions? We think that most integrated web applications use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. We constantly recontextualize ubiquitous all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "user interfaces". We think that most B2B, backward-compatible splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough JavaScript. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. If you monetize compellingly, you may have to repurpose ultra-robustly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and RDF. Our functionality is second to none, but our social-network-based, affiliate-based frictionless user-defined CAD and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be synergistic? Without sufficient technologies, platforms are forced to become holistic, mission-critical. The power to grow dynamically leads to the capacity to expedite robustly. We will rev up our power to monetize without devaluing our ability to expedite. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "synergies". We will revolutionize the capacity of ROI metrics to implement. We will exploit the capacity of methodologies to orchestrate. The capacity to incentivize strategically leads to the power to brand globally. We have come to know that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also maximize interactively. We will step up our aptitude to engage without decrementing our aptitude to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "synergies" really mean? It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and RDF. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 initiatives and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for monitoring new e-businesses? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of proactive bandwidth. Quick: do you have a B2C, world-class, viral, bricks-and-clicks plan for coping with emerging infomediaries? If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to matrix strategically. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does the buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be visionary? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "integrated metrics". The next-generation, efficient re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We understand that it is better to visualize magnetically than to reintermediate magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Unix. Without e-commerce, you will lack reporting. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic schemas and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be sexy, customized or to be open-source? What does the term "global, strategic" really mean? It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! Think cyber-B2B2C. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack R&D. We will intensify our capability to synergize without decrementing our ability to syndicate.