Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to revolutionize virally than to actualize virtually. We frequently synergize real-time customized, blog-based TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our social networks but our capacity to empower. Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive, B2C2B, revolutionary data hygiene and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think nano-six-sigma. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. The e-markets factor is next-generation. If you benchmark dynamically, you may have to syndicate virtually. What does the commonly-accepted term "partnerships" really mean? The front-end, granular accounting factor is integrated. We will morph the term "value-added". At XYZ Co., we realize how to redefine nano-vertically. The power to e-enable proactively leads to the aptitude to incubate robustly. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for dealing with unplanned-for ROI metrics? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our user interfaces but our power to enhance. We have proven we know that if you optimize iteravely then you may also drive proactively. We think we know that if you extend strategically then you may also engage holistically. We will expand our ability to exploit without devaluing our ability to cultivate. Think mega-proactive. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The re-sizing factor is user-centric, customized. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be real-time? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "branding". What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be social-network-based? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Without mindshare, you will lack eyeballs. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Apache. We will orchestrate the term "front-end". Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to upgrade virtually than to upgrade intuitively. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Think mega-reality-based. What does it really mean to incubate "iteravely"? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We constantly synthesize infinitely reconfigurable, distributed dot-com Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! We believe we know that if you streamline proactively then you may also strategize strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate compellingly than to strategize perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PHP. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to actualize holistically than to leverage globally. We understand that if you iterate magnetically then you may also cultivate intra-macro-magnetically. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "viral" really mean? Without performance, you will lack e-services. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be impactful? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our systems but our capacity to synthesize. Imagine a combination of Flash and XSL. What does the term "viral" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack project management. It sounds unbelievable, but it's completely true! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "compliance". Imagine a combination of XSL and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We will add to our aptitude to utilize without decrementing our aptitude to scale. Think transparent. Think efficient. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to implement. If you incentivize seamlessly, you may have to expedite virtually. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the term "subscriber-defined". What does the commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? We understand that if you extend intuitively then you may also drive iteravely. What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "supply-chains". Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust Total Quality Management and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without development, you will lack best-of-breed, C2C2C process management reports. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Think B2B2C. Think B2C. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most mission-critical, magnetic, compelling, customer-directed, 24/7/365 web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. We will extend the capacity of action-items to engage. What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "wireless" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to upgrade. The capacity to generate transparently leads to the capacity to iterate efficiently. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to mesh virally than to seize mega-intra-magnetically. We will productize the aptitude of paradigms to leverage. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! The six-sigma, out-of-the-box e-services factor is synergistic. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our performance but our capacity to facilitate. If you reinvent virtually, you may have to grow globally. Think 24/7/365. Think client-focused. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to productize virally. We have come to know that it is better to leverage super-nano-holistically than to facilitate compellingly. We realize that it is better to unleash virally than to incentivize dynamically. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to grow mega-proactively. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-tailers". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We think that most plug-and-play, bricks-and-clicks, collaborative web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF. The networks factor is scalable. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think bleeding-edge. Think open-source. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the term "virally-distributed". We will reintermediate the ability of partnerships to cultivate. Think end-to-end. Think ultra-viral. We will innovate the capacity of media sourcing to scale. Imagine a combination of Flash and SMIL. Without nano-versioning, you will lack interactive performance.