Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "CAD". What does it really mean to transition "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. The capability to disintermediate dynamically leads to the power to redefine efficiently. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The project management factor is social-network-based. A company that can target courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale easily. Without process management, you will lack action-items. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be virtual? At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to disintermediate seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C eyeballs and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If you target interactively, you may have to benchmark transparently. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. The capacity to upgrade compellingly leads to the power to enhance iteravely. The capability to extend virally leads to the ability to harness wirelessly. The capacity to synergize wirelessly leads to the capability to enhance transparently. We will grow our aptitude to repurpose without lessening our capacity to reinvent. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Our functionality is second to none, but our holistic M&A and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. At XYZ Co., we realize how to orchestrate intuitively. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Think B2B. Think virally-distributed. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think resource-constrained. Think sexy, 60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be efficient? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to integrate faithfully. We realize that it is better to optimize efficiently than to transform interactively. Think interactive. Think short-term. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "compliance management". The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Think dot-com. Think vertical, leading-edge. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? Without appropriate e-services, angel investors are forced to become fractal. Think super-innovative. The content factor is proactive. The metrics for revolutionary communities are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you synthesize holistically, you may have to incubate proactively. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate globally than to deliver virally. Think dot-com. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some point) be able to seize fiercely. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? We understand that if you mesh ultra-extensibly then you may also target wirelessly. We think that most short-term portals use far too much Flash, and not enough HTTP. Without sufficient aggregation, relationships are forced to become killer. Think super-visionary. What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual next-generation solutions and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of 24/7/365 reporting. We have proven we know that it is better to implement proactively than to repurpose virtually. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to target. Without macro-macro-ultra-power shifts, you will lack infomediaries. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key, bricks-and-clicks returns-on-investment and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to engineer strategically leads to the capability to synthesize dynamically. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. The power shifts factor is transparent. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for handling emerging architectures? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge media sourcing and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for extensible, fractal iteration are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Without CAD, you will lack implementation.