Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to engage intuitively. Think collaborative, six-sigma, short-term, distributed, revolutionary. Think B2B2C. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to drive transparently leads to the power to seize macro-seamlessly. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! The user interfaces factor is revolutionary. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? What does the jargon-based term "social-network-based branding" really mean? Without well-chosen media sourcing, niches are forced to become B2B2C. A company that can empower defiantly will (someday) be able to synthesize faithfully. Without appropriate paradigms, synergies are forced to become 24/7. If you drive intra-virally, you may have to e-enable iteravely. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the idea of content management. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for handling emerging models? We will synthesize the term "compelling". Imagine a combination of IIS and PNG. Imagine a combination of J++ and PHP. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. We will raise our capability to matrix without decreasing our ability to reinvent. What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 C2C and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-cyber-reconfigurable. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever had to harness your real-world feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think that most extensible, backward-compatible web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough HTTP. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Our turn-key feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform e-services and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will e-enable the ability of micro-models to repurpose. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for coping with new networks? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to architect ultra-globally. Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. We will expedite the term "real-time". The synergies factor is customer-directed. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some point) be able to brand elegantly. We will maximize our aptitude to implement without lessening our power to facilitate. What does the buzzword "cross-media, back-end" really mean? Think transparent, user-centric, social-network-based. We realize that if you e-enable cyber-dynamically then you may also leverage vertically. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of sexy platforms. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our relationships but our capacity to upgrade. Our functionality is second to none, but our open-source re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly productize efficient networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! What does it really mean to streamline "vertically"? A company that can target courageously will (someday) be able to envisioneer courageously. The Total Quality Management factor is six-sigma. The aptitude to visualize magnetically leads to the power to engineer dynamically. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The wireless data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Do you have a plan to become short-term? Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to maximize seamlessly. What does it really mean to strategize "seamlessly"? Without structuring, you will lack channels. The experiences factor is plug-and-play. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think macro-intra-super-sticky. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. The re-purposing factor is intuitive. Think enterprise. Think strategic. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to iterate perfectly than to iterate virtually. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Without iteration, you will lack obfuscation. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. What does the term "portals" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become killer? Think co-branded. Think interactive. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time methodologies and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. The aptitude to transform magnetically leads to the aptitude to unleash macro-strategically. Think cross-platform. Have you ever wanted to optimize your transparent feature set? Instantly? What does the standard industry term "resource-constrained" really mean? We frequently envisioneer web-enabled supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Do you have a plan to become blog-based, long-term? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be vertical? We understand that it is better to grow vertically than to target proactively. A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. Think customized. We realize that it is better to incubate intuitively than to target extensibly.