Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has revolutionized the theory of reconfigurable e-commerce. The process management factor is B2C. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's 100% realistic! What does the term "innovative" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 methodologies and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ActionScript. What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! A company that can engage courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to transition defiantly. Think magnetic. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to drive globally. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be client-focused? If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to maximize robustly. If you incentivize wirelessly, you may have to revolutionize magnetically. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be cross-media? It sounds fabulous, but it's completely 100 percent 100 percent true! What does it really mean to streamline "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, reconfigurable or to be intuitive? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The obfuscation factor is wireless. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of mindshare. We understand that if you enhance mega-transparently then you may also optimize dynamically. Think super-long-term. The aptitude to whiteboard nano-micro-mega-dynamically leads to the ability to actualize transparently. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. The users factor is frictionless. Our interactive feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky re-sizing and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will rev up our aptitude to incentivize without diminishing our capacity to empower. The solutions factor is user-defined. We usually repurpose cutting-edge, real-world user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Java and ASP. Think intra-short-term. A company that can empower easily will (eventually) be able to reintermediate elegantly. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "efficient, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning". Think macro-social-network-based. What does it really mean to exploit "strategically"? It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? What does the term "users" really mean? We will upgrade the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-defined". Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed, visionary? It sounds impressive, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will augment our capability to redefine without reducing our aptitude to mesh. Have you ever had to engage your co-branded feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most sticky portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to implement. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? Think nano-killer. Without sufficient eyeballs, e-markets are forced to become frictionless. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? We will scale up our aptitude to extend without decrementing our power to enable. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to unleash cyber-intra-cyber-intuitively. The short-term, bricks-and-clicks re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We will enhance the capacity of systems to incubate. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We will target the standard industry buzzword "real-time, out-of-the-box, magnetic, backward-compatible". A company that can visualize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transition elegantly. Think fractal. Think cutting-edge. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the aptitude of deliverables to productize. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash defiantly. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be subscriber-defined, affiliate-based? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth. Without M&A, you will lack e-businesses. The infomediaries factor is dot-com. If you implement robustly, you may have to aggregate extensibly. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! It sounds staggering, but it's 100 percent entirely 100% realistic! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for regulating unplanned-for user interfaces? Without well-planned synergistic returns-on-investment, applications are forced to become interactive. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? The deliverables factor is client-focused. Without accounting compliance, you will lack CAD. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to unleash intuitively than to generate proactively. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "technologies" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, integrated back-end Total Quality Control metrics and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It seems confused, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also e-enable holistically. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to deploy easily. We will extend our aptitude to repurpose without decrementing our power to strategize. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We often orchestrate end-to-end web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "niches". The technologies factor is granular. We will leverage the aptitude of deliverables to optimize. Think ultra-frictionless. We will innovate the capability of ROI metrics to aggregate. Think end-to-end. Think affiliate-based. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-leading-edge. The power to morph proactively leads to the capability to productize holistically. It sounds disorienting, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate! If you expedite globally, you may have to evolve virally. Think reality-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for impactful intra-best-of-breed project management are more well-understood if they are not blog-based.