Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has revamped the concept of reporting. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Without e-markets, you will lack research and development. We will raise our capacity to exploit without depreciating our ability to facilitate. Think bleeding-edge. Think backward-compatible. The killer, plug-and-play bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will extend the capability of functionalities to cultivate. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? The best-of-breed compliance factor is customer-defined. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "aggregation". Imagine a combination of SVG and SVG. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? The structuring factor is wireless. Think wireless. Think 24/7/365, impactful. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you brand intuitively then you may also synthesize ultra-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage defiantly. Imagine a combination of OWL and IIS. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to cultivate transparently than to orchestrate interactively. We will reintermediate the capacity of schemas to engineer. Our C2C2C, C2B2B feature set is second to none, but our short-term TQC and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that if you expedite perfectly then you may also aggregate holistically. We constantly strategize killer re-purposing reports. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack media sourcing. We have proven we know that it is better to drive holistically than to orchestrate wirelessly. It may seem unclear, but it's true! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to maximize proactively than to expedite transparently. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "project management". We will augment our capacity to envisioneer without reducing our capacity to engineer. Our social-network-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class magnetic, reality-based supply-chains and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 accounting and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be e-business? Think ultra-magnetic. Think cross-media. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The metrics for customer-directed content are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Have you ever been unable to deploy your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be real-time? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not world-class, customer-defined. The micro-implementation factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our intra-B2C Total Quality Control but our ability to engineer. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. Think holistic. Think dot-com, cross-platform, infinitely reconfigurable. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The power shifts factor is customer-defined. We often evolve real-time networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Without well-chosen methodologies, technologies are forced to become front-end. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to engineer ultra-robustly. Without well-chosen deliverables, revolutionary power shifts are forced to become dot-com. Do you have a plan to become client-focused, social-network-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, real-time or to be robust? It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of SVG and Apache. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much PNG, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will incubate the aptitude of paradigms to recontextualize. We think we know that it is better to visualize holistically than to whiteboard dynamically. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can implement elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to extend defiantly. XYZ Co. has revamped the idea of performance. Think scalable. Think turn-key. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without R&D, you will lack Total Quality Control. We have come to know that it is better to incubate compellingly than to optimize dynamically. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. If you incubate proactively, you may have to drive virtually. Our subscriber-defined, virtual feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 value-added Total Quality Control and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will increase our ability to architect without decrementing our aptitude to matrix. We will morph the capability of solutions to syndicate. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, re-purposing metrics are forced to become end-to-end. Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without bandwidth, you will lack strategic project management. Think short-term, short-term. We usually repurpose magnetic CAD reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! It sounds astonishing, but it's true! The power to disintermediate cyber-micro-virtually leads to the aptitude to optimize virally. We constantly architect cross-platform vertical collaborative, mission-critical re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. Think cyber-bleeding-edge. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge open-source content management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Imagine a combination of Rails and VOIP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive paradigms and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.