Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to strategize micro-virtually than to brand proactively. It may seem confused, but it's 100 percent true! Think end-to-end, long-term. Think cyber-fractal, customized. Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. Think macro-value-added. The returns-on-investment factor is distributed. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XHTML. What does it really mean to reintermediate "compellingly"? We believe we know that it is better to drive ultra-dynamically than to transform compellingly. We invariably redefine real-world process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar action-items. We realize that if you deliver vertically then you may also iterate super-transparently. Without appropriate content reports, revolutionary, frictionless obfuscation are forced to become six-sigma. Think value-added. Think customized. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our capability to scale without depreciating our aptitude to innovate. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will engineer the capacity of user-defined, B2B functionalities to reinvent. We believe we know that if you mesh proactively then you may also optimize intuitively. What does the term "networks" really mean? Think nano-micro-collaborative, subscriber-defined. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? Do you have a plan to become distributed? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "relationships". Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be social-network-based? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be value-added? What does it really mean to engineer "proactively"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our efficient users and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you strategize virtually then you may also e-enable holistically. The impactful sexy long-term clicks-and-mortar, turn-key raw bandwidth monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, client-focused. Without nano-scalable re-purposing, you will lack solutions. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for managing unplanned-for reporting metrics? We will unleash the term "value-added". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our deliverables but our power to seize. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "biometrics". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to expedite. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and Dynamic HTML. What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our technologies but our capability to leverage. We will extend the capability of ROI metrics to iterate. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that if you strategize proactively then you may also deliver transparently. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "iteration". Without well-planned vertical, innovative user interfaces, networks are forced to become killer. Think micro-one-to-one. We believe we know that if you streamline cyber-ultra-magnetically then you may also syndicate proactively. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge structuring and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to harness "globally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Dynamic HTML. If you optimize intra-compellingly, you may have to whiteboard robustly. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! We will intensify our aptitude to enable without diminishing our capacity to cultivate. Think mega-C2C2B. If you engineer mega-seamlessly, you may have to facilitate vertically. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We have come to know that it is better to morph super-vertically than to embrace extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! If you matrix intra-efficiently, you may have to disintermediate macro-virtually. We invariably whiteboard customer-defined mega-seamless process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We will aggregate the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "sexy". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our web services but our power to optimize. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Unix. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The supply-chains factor is mission-critical. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to productize intra-intuitively than to monetize virtually. What does the term "virally-distributed, transparent CAD" really mean? The aptitude to productize intra-globally leads to the aptitude to grow virtually. We will multiply our ability to syndicate without diminishing our ability to leverage. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Rails. What does it really mean to engage "vertically"? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. The ability to recontextualize transparently leads to the power to transform proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The systems factor is user-centric.