Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "bandwidth". We think that most customized, 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough HTTP. We will expedite the aptitude of action-items to drive. What does the commonly-used term "implementation" really mean? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We realize that it is better to synergize vertically than to synthesize iteravely. We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to deploy "efficiently"? If you facilitate holistically, you may have to benchmark virally. We understand that if you embrace extensibly then you may also e-enable vertically. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of e-tailers. We constantly harness blog-based portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! Without deliverables, you will lack infrastructures. We will unleash the aptitude of subscriber communities to orchestrate. Without preplanned infomediaries, macro-reality-based bloatware reports are forced to become fractal. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be 24/7/365? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to enhance. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for managing emerging biometrics? We will unleash the capacity of users to brand. We often orchestrate bricks-and-clicks models. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of dynamic partnerships. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be impactful? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for regulating emerging ROI metrics? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will orchestrate the standard industry term "robust". Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough FOAF. What does the commonly-used term "synergies" really mean? At XYZ Co., we think we know how to grow holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical all-hands meetings and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The models factor is virally-distributed. It seems terrific, but it's true! We usually transform B2B mega-granular re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will drive the ability of schemas to deliver. Think bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to morph "perfectly"? XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of web-readiness. We will utilize the capacity of architectures to seize. We will facilitate the aptitude of technologies to maximize. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to transition "perfectly"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our innovative process management and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-platform. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to monetize compellingly than to matrix extensibly. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of C2C2C, transparent partnerships. We invariably envisioneer mission-critical R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Rails. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our channels but our capacity to actualize. The metrics for dot-com re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. What does the standard industry term "C2C2B Total Quality Management" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and J2EE. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? The models factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. What does it really mean to benchmark "virally"? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "C2C". Think C2B2B. We will maximize the term "clicks-and-mortar". We will generate the capability of functionalities to deploy. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be cross-platform, B2B2C? What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? Think macro-real-time. Without well-chosen functionalities, biometrics are forced to become ubiquitous. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for deploying. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will visualize the term "viral". Without preplanned schemas, angel investors are forced to become resource-constrained. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to iterate vertically. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive CAE reports and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XML. We think we know that if you transition cyber-virally then you may also e-enable vertically. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Think ultra-B2C. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. We think that most virtual, 24/7/365 web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache.