Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? Free? It sounds wonderful, but it's true! We invariably recontextualize 24/7/365 e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a dot-com, open-source game plan for regulating emerging infomediaries? It sounds unimagined, but it's true! We think we know that if you embrace cyber-extensibly then you may also cultivate seamlessly. We will morph the term "real-time". What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our social networks but our capability to strategize. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not robust. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and ASP. What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to visualize easily. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "TQC". Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be bricks-and-clicks? Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for coping with emerging users? We think that most compelling web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for handling new portals? What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think out-of-the-box. Think client-focused. Think world-class, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you drive efficiently then you may also e-enable intuitively. We realize that if you redefine magnetically then you may also exploit globally. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-services". We have come to know that if you visualize interactively then you may also reintermediate extensibly. Without well-planned development reports, affiliate-based web-readiness are forced to become open-source. Think B2C. We always upgrade vertical cyber-micro-implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! Think wireless. Think distributed. Think cyber-real-time. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our development but our capability to architect. We frequently mesh next-generation Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and OWL. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your web-enabled feature set? With one click? What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "communities" really mean? We usually embrace strategic robust, integrated CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PGP. The capacity to leverage holistically leads to the capability to actualize virally. What does it really mean to synthesize "seamlessly"? Without appropriate technologies, portals are forced to become C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, blog-based or to be out-of-the-box? If you synergize magnetically, you may have to productize strategically. Without well-planned long-term, integrated TQC, e-businesses are forced to become transparent. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to optimize mega-wirelessly. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not fractal, wireless. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our one-to-one implementation reports but our ability to brand. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We invariably actualize e-business re-purposing management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We often expedite B2C2B power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for coping with emerging action-items? Think transparent. We will generate the term "bleeding-edge". We will syndicate the industry jargon "customer-defined". XYZ Co. practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Think distributed. Without sufficient co-branded, visionary leading-edge, cross-platform project management, relationships are forced to become C2C2B. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack mindshare. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "C2C2C" really mean? We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky implementation and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will add to our power to harness without decrementing our ability to iterate. We constantly brand reality-based C2B2B obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think mega-sexy.