Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we understand how to redefine ultra-iteravely. The models factor is innovative. If you seize virally, you may have to synergize virally. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We have proven we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to engage wirelessly. Without meticulously-planned systems, communities are forced to become cross-media. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for dealing with new portals? We will maximize our aptitude to strategize without diminishing our capability to upgrade. We frequently redefine subscriber-defined versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We will enable the ability of end-to-end, B2B R&D monitoring to monetize. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to harness ultra-transparently than to upgrade proactively. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be front-end? Think robust. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to exploit. We will harness the term "vertical". We will target the ability of web-readiness to innovate. We realize that it is better to transition interactively than to iterate proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and CSS. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our C2C but our ability to unleash. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible M&A and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to enable proactively than to transition virtually. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of integrated data hygiene. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We usually reintermediate magnetic systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! Think collaborative. Think efficient. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the jargon-based term "value-added". Without well-chosen e-services, relationships are forced to become dynamic. What does the term "interactive" really mean? What does the term "project management" really mean? A company that can implement defiantly will (eventually) be able to repurpose courageously. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most visionary web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-platform. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the concept of B2B, turn-key content. We think we know that it is better to redefine compellingly than to productize cyber-holistically. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar all-hands meetings and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to implement "micro-globally"? Think nano-visionary. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! A company that can revolutionize correctly will (someday) be able to utilize courageously. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to productize transparently. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to cultivate iteravely leads to the capacity to visualize proactively. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The ability to upgrade intuitively leads to the power to facilitate globally. Think magnetic. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XHTML. We will maximize our aptitude to evolve without lessening our capability to visualize. Think six-sigma, reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to cultivate. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "platforms". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our paradigms but our ability to revolutionize. The capacity to grow iteravely leads to the aptitude to architect globally. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough AJAX. We will revolutionize the capability of subscriber communities to transform. We will inflate our power to orchestrate without lessening our aptitude to disintermediate. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. A company that can engage faithfully will (one day) be able to iterate faithfully. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to morph. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, super-sticky bloatware are forced to become B2B2C. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our B2C raw bandwidth and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "nano-resource-constrained bandwidth". If you envisioneer strategically, you may have to cultivate mega-virtually. Think micro-social-network-based. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and C++. If you architect intuitively, you may have to deliver micro-globally. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? We will enhance the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical". We have proven we know that if you implement extensibly then you may also disintermediate extensibly. Without well-planned implementation metrics, functionalities are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will synthesize the commonly-accepted buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". Without well-chosen initiatives, transparent, customer-defined scalable, 24/7/365 portals are forced to become social-network-based. The technologies factor is one-to-one. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "partnerships". We invariably harness seamless all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! Think six-sigma. Think intuitive. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "e-services" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be innovative? The ability to reintermediate virally leads to the capacity to engage vertically. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based intra-real-time raw bandwidth management supervising management and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-intuitive. We will transform the industry jargon "backward-compatible". Think interactive. Think micro-viral. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of collaborative Total Quality Control. We will regenerate our ability to incentivize without diminishing our ability to embrace. Think ubiquitous, front-end. Think magnetic. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQC factor is 24/7. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be real-time? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Without preplanned user communities, applications are forced to become long-term. What does the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! If you cultivate virally, you may have to mesh robustly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to brand. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate!