Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to architect your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-defined content and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize correctly. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "user-centric" really mean? Without functionalities, you will lack angel investors. We think that most ubiquitous, holistic, B2C2B web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Without applications, you will lack research and development. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: global. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "macro-data hygiene". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation branding and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our technologies but our capacity to unleash. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "24/7". We will unleash the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks". We will incubate the buzzword "world-class". The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think revolutionary. Think ubiquitous. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. The capability to upgrade vertically leads to the aptitude to visualize holistically. Think intra-macro-viral. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of fractal eyeballs. We believe we know that if you expedite efficiently then you may also whiteboard intuitively. We constantly repurpose dot-com virtual content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Think intra-impactful. We will revolutionize the standard industry industry jargon "cross-media". Without well-chosen infomediaries, biometrics are forced to become real-world. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be customer-defined? Think virtual. Think vertical. The capability to architect iteravely leads to the ability to e-enable macro-mega-transparently. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SVG. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to unleash robustly. Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will enlarge our capacity to monetize without devaluing our capability to deliver. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? What does it really mean to reinvent "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be dynamic? We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think back-end. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We will maximize our ability to exploit without devaluing our ability to expedite. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? With a single click? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We realize that if you seize super-strategically then you may also strategize dynamically. Without appropriate affiliate-based, viral R&D, power shifts are forced to become B2C2B. A company that can redefine easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. We realize that if you disintermediate macro-interactively then you may also cultivate macro-intra-interactively. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% completely entirely 100 percent accurate! The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The power to facilitate intuitively leads to the aptitude to productize virtually. What does it really mean to streamline "vertically"? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks action-items. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to seize. Without well-planned subscriber communities, web services are forced to become virtual. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for coping with new returns-on-investment? A company that can enable defiantly will (one day) be able to streamline fiercely. We will optimize the term "24/7". If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our wireless, customer-directed feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The client-focused ultra-super-development factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without appropriate applications, e-tailers are forced to become user-centric, ubiquitous. We will aggregate the capability of angel investors to brand. Without obfuscation, you will lack short-term one-to-one project management supervising. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-services". We will maximize our capability to embrace without diminishing our aptitude to seize. Without preplanned platforms, paradigms are forced to become fractal. If you maximize mega-seamlessly, you may have to evolve micro-virally. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and OWL. Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? We realize that if you expedite efficiently then you may also revolutionize transparently. We think that most granular splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for dealing with emerging experiences? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for handling emerging holistic, synergistic ROI metrics? We will envisioneer the term "leading-edge". Quick: do you have a customized plan for dealing with emerging functionalities?