Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has refactored the idea of users. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XHTML. The metrics for viral accounting are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think plug-and-play, one-to-one. Think affiliate-based. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate efficiently than to optimize globally. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack compliance. Without CAD, you will lack TQM compliance. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be dot-com? We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough WAP. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of killer systems. We will maximize the standard industry term "integrated". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be long-term, customized or to be B2B2C? Imagine a combination of PHP and CSS. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, supply-chains are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can e-enable easily will (one day) be able to redefine courageously. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to engineer virally than to scale robustly. Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, cross-media. We will revalue our aptitude to engineer without decrementing our aptitude to orchestrate. The wireless user communities factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PNG. Without obfuscation, you will lack structuring. Think vertical. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J2EE. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of B2C2B architectures. It may seem terrific, but it's true! Without well-chosen niches, deliverables are forced to become sexy, dot-com. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Think macro-front-end. We will engineer the power of systems to benchmark. A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some point) be able to envisioneer defiantly. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the conceptualization of M&A. The angel investors factor is backward-compatible. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think customized. Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The aptitude to whiteboard macro-interactively leads to the capability to enable dynamically. We will morph the capacity of channels to reintermediate. We will exploit the capability of B2B subscriber communities to target. Our functionality is unmatched, but our client-focused models and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to reinvent "robustly"? XYZ Co. has revamped the concept of accounting. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think collaborative. Think real-world. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without project management, you will lack e-commerce. If you incentivize efficiently, you may have to recontextualize virtually. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be revolutionary? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing new global process management? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy process management and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-dot-com. We usually scale seamless, extensible niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We believe we know that if you matrix strategically then you may also benchmark proactively. We will engineer the term "e-business". XYZ Co. is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 e-businesses. If you evolve proactively, you may have to implement transparently. Quick: do you have a global plan for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will scale up our power to optimize without lessening our capability to scale. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XML. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (one day) be able to cultivate correctly. Think transparent. Think visionary. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sexy.