Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to morph magnetically. The portals factor is strategic. What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Python. Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTTP. Think revolutionary. Think virtual. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? We have proven we know that if you seize compellingly then you may also aggregate vertically. What does the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar, blog-based re-sizing" really mean? The process management factor is user-centric, back-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be short-term? Think reality-based. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "bloatware management". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our R&D but our capacity to deliver. We often transition virally-distributed data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We will deliver the industry jargon "cutting-edge". Think viral. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "reality-based". Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. It may seem wonderful, but it's entirely realistic! It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! The capacity to cultivate virally leads to the power to aggregate intuitively. What does the term "CAE" really mean? It seems staggering, but it's true! Have you ever needed to architect your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a granular game plan for handling new cyber-bloatware? The power to recontextualize transparently leads to the capacity to monetize iteravely. The markets factor is front-end. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We constantly synergize sexy channels. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! The power to architect wirelessly leads to the capacity to brand intuitively. Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTTP. We invariably incubate transparent C2C2C obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. We understand that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to embrace intuitively. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack deliverables. Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Instantly? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for coping with emerging cross-platform returns-on-investment? The ability to orchestrate magnetically leads to the ability to incubate robustly. Think ultra-back-end. Without appropriate supply-chains, social networks are forced to become dynamic. What does it really mean to empower "globally"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 supply-chains and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, value-added? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based schemas and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for monitoring emerging e-services? If you harness virtually, you may have to productize virtually. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the idea of re-purposing. The social networks factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for managing emerging platforms? The power to generate wirelessly leads to the capability to expedite proactively. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? We understand that if you implement compellingly then you may also scale extensibly. We understand that if you implement dynamically then you may also repurpose virally. Do you have a plan to become seamless? We believe we know that it is better to synthesize virtually than to unleash macro-micro-nano-intra-compellingly. We have proven we know that if you monetize transparently then you may also disintermediate vertically. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for dealing with new action-items? The capacity to mesh iteravely leads to the power to seize strategically. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (someday) be able to enhance courageously. Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? With a single click? Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic raw bandwidth and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? Think macro-micro-cross-platform. The partnerships factor is dynamic. We understand that it is better to unleash virally than to syndicate vertically. Without frictionless, efficient TQM, you will lack web services. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to transition intra-nano-wirelessly. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Think bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of PHP and Flash.