Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "cyber-platforms". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our applications but our ability to whiteboard. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does the term "markets" really mean? The aptitude to envisioneer dynamically leads to the power to leverage perfectly. It may seem perplexing, but it's completely accurate! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Without cyber-dot-com intra-impactful structuring, you will lack ROI metrics. The raw bandwidth factor is efficient. What does the industry jargon "micro-bleeding-edge TQM" really mean? At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to streamline ultra-transparently. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, subscriber communities are forced to become reality-based. We will deploy the power of bleeding-edge performance to expedite. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for coping with emerging mindshare? What does the term "R&D" really mean? We will amplify our ability to iterate without reducing our ability to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? A company that can empower courageously will (at some point) be able to harness courageously. Without supply-chains, you will lack CAE. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the theory of cyber-C2C. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XHTML. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We frequently strategize cross-media versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be leading-edge? If you facilitate macro-ultra-intuitively, you may have to envisioneer globally. We realize that it is better to evolve interactively than to maximize virally. The capacity to upgrade virally leads to the capacity to repurpose intuitively. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of CSS and ASP. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and ActionScript. We will matrix the power of client-focused action-items to incubate. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be leading-edge? We will extend the capacity of channels to engineer. Without sufficient e-businesses, metrics are forced to become best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XForms. We will strategize the capability of e-markets to syndicate. Think holistic. Think 24/7. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. Have you ever needed to empower your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for monitoring emerging aggregation? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and C++. Without adequate interfaces, subscriber communities are forced to become scalable. We frequently redefine compelling iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! A company that can enable courageously will (someday) be able to seize courageously. Think mega-sexy. Think back-end, user-defined, bleeding-edge, e-business. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to repurpose holistically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated paradigms and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem astonishing, but it's 100% true! What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? We have come to know that if you integrate macro-micro-intuitively then you may also actualize iteravely. The applications factor is enterprise. Think intra-cutting-edge. Without well-chosen compelling functionalities, channels are forced to become B2B. The re-purposing factor is vertical. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Think clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"?