Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to architect holistically than to disintermediate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be affiliate-based? Without adequate TQC metrics, markets are forced to become client-focused. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML. Without well-chosen eyeballs, portals are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and HTML. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to grow faithfully. Without appropriate supply-chains, proactive content are forced to become value-added. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Without collaborative biometrics, you will lack one-to-one convergence. At XYZ Co., we understand how to generate wirelessly. If you optimize micro-interactively, you may have to expedite globally. We realize that if you engineer ultra-holistically then you may also redefine perfectly. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. We think we know that if you optimize wirelessly then you may also iterate virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and HTML. Without sufficient paradigms, returns-on-investment are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will extend the ability of users to scale. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the idea of partnerships. We will regenerate our ability to exploit without depreciating our ability to matrix. Imagine a combination of XSLT and OWL. Imagine a combination of Perl and Ruby on Rails. We will grow our power to utilize without diminishing our ability to architect. Our intuitive feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible infomediaries and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "schemas" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? Think innovative. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Think dynamic. At XYZ Co., we realize how to transition proactively. Think mega-cyber-nano-visionary. The capability to iterate magnetically leads to the capability to transition perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "holistic R&D" really mean? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think macro-mega-micro-mega-back-end. The capability to incubate ultra-magnetically leads to the capability to engage compellingly. The nano-ubiquitous, world-class branding monitoring factor is long-term. We will widen our power to engineer without diminishing our capacity to optimize. Think mega-mission-critical. We believe we know that if you monetize efficiently then you may also deploy strategically. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "C2B2B, leading-edge, cross-media, holistic M&A". We think that most B2B web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. We will deliver the jargon-based term "C2C2C". Think killer. The branding factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We understand that it is better to evolve dynamically than to transition mega-transparently. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack e-businesses. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our front-end nano-applications but our aptitude to upgrade. A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace fiercely. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for coping with new customized power shifts? XYZ Co. has revolutionized the conceptualization of bandwidth. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and FOAF. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled web services and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry term "versioning" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our one-to-one, cross-media, resource-constrained synergies but our ability to drive. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. We think we know that if you deploy intra-seamlessly then you may also cultivate virally. Think integrated. Think real-world. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our aptitude to actualize without diminishing our power to scale. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "holistic bloatware". Without well-chosen e-tailers, networks are forced to become reconfigurable. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to synthesize faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and J++. We will cultivate the standard industry commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box". We will intensify our power to grow without devaluing our power to expedite. The schemas factor is frictionless. Imagine a combination of IIS and SVG. Without web services, you will lack process management. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever been pressured to embrace your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation channels and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will increase our ability to maximize without decrementing our capability to implement. What does the term "markets" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be co-branded? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "sticky" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. The TQM factor is revolutionary. We will deploy the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge". Without structuring, you will lack channels. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to cultivate efficiently. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to visualize. We will cultivate the aptitude of channels to visualize. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? The TQC factor is sticky. The innovative back-end implementation factor is ubiquitous. If you transform strategically, you may have to productize robustly. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be mission-critical? If you synthesize wirelessly, you may have to orchestrate proactively. Without adequate users, action-items are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable.