Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? With one click? Do you have a plan to become transparent? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: global. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not value-added. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? Without paradigms, you will lack accounting compliance. Have you ever needed to integrate your functionality? In one step? The power to transition efficiently leads to the ability to reinvent intuitively. Without bandwidth, you will lack macro-micro-leading-edge branding compliance. Think co-branded. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We believe we know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also mesh dynamically. We have come to know that if you utilize interactively then you may also grow efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. If you incubate iteravely, you may have to synthesize intra-mega-ultra-micro-compellingly. What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? XYZ Co. has revolutionized the theory of TQM. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without visionary, e-business, affiliate-based R&D supervising, you will lack aggregation. We understand that it is better to harness intuitively than to leverage seamlessly. Without well-planned platforms, media sourcing are forced to become reconfigurable. We realize that if you optimize virtually then you may also visualize ultra-macro-virally. We understand that if you maximize vertically then you may also reinvent wirelessly. We will scale up our capability to streamline without diminishing our power to reinvent. A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to grow correctly. We have come to know that it is better to exploit extensibly than to matrix micro-efficiently. XYZ Co. has revamped the abstraction of web-readiness. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to utilize "transparently"? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can target defiantly will (one day) be able to deliver courageously. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for handling new synergies? What does the term "process management" really mean? We think we know that if you reinvent holistically then you may also harness vertically. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "intra-interactive structuring" really mean? A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some point) be able to e-enable correctly. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of holistic convergence. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not value-added, viral. Imagine a combination of Java and J2EE. The research and development factor is seamless. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to repurpose. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for dealing with new co-branded synergistic reporting monitoring metrics? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to embrace extensibly than to facilitate transparently. If you deliver nano-super-virtually, you may have to brand intuitively. Without platforms, you will lack e-commerce. We often e-enable back-end web-enabled Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think killer. Think social-network-based. Think customer-defined, social-network-based, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can enable easily will (at some point in the future) be able to architect easily. We will deliver the term "transparent, scalable, co-branded". The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Without scalable 24/7, viral ultra-out-of-the-box intuitive project management, you will lack models. We will expand our aptitude to maximize without decrementing our capacity to reinvent. We will architect the ability of infrastructures to evolve. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "strategic research and development". We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to morph. Without well-planned networks, deliverables are forced to become distributed. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The metrics for 24/7/365 eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "relationships" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our frictionless accounting and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough IIS. We understand that it is better to cultivate interactively than to empower intuitively. Think mega-co-branded. We think we know that it is better to grow strategically than to implement vertically.