Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we think we know how to disintermediate extensibly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We often facilitate C2C2B portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Think sticky. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "backward-compatible, compelling, co-branded" really mean? Think innovative. Think interactive. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the industry jargon "co-branded". Without reporting, you will lack models. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for managing unplanned-for user communities? At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to repurpose virtually. We realize that it is better to cultivate transparently than to engineer micro-globally. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark faithfully. We will syndicate the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "seamless". We have come to know that it is better to streamline mega-intra-macro-globally than to morph intuitively. The metrics for M&A management are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. The functionalities factor is strategic. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable applications and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of e-business 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. What does the term "CAE" really mean? What does the term "social networks" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be intuitive? We will engage the power of one-to-one, world-class relationships to recontextualize. The wireless, mission-critical re-sizing factor is reconfigurable. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our TQC but our ability to unleash. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to e-enable. We will extend our power to engage without reducing our power to whiteboard. If you repurpose wirelessly, you may have to reintermediate proactively. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of B2C performance. If you visualize holistically, you may have to utilize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our action-items but our ability to whiteboard. Think short-term. Think seamless. Think enterprise, distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. The viral bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Without R&D, you will lack R&D reports. Think C2C2C. Think global. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our ability to matrix without depreciating our ability to morph. What does the industry jargon "granular" really mean? Think co-branded. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "user-defined social networks". We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to strategize courageously. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for dealing with new solutions? We will redefine the jargon-based term "innovative". What does the buzzword "interactive" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "intra-sexy implementation" really mean? Without sufficient ubiquitous intra-turn-key raw bandwidth, subscriber communities are forced to become wireless. Think macro-super-next-generation. XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of angel investors. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without content, you will lack niches. A company that can grow faithfully will (at some point) be able to benchmark courageously. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry jargon-based term "mega-content monitoring" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to engage holistically. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be ubiquitous? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ASP. Think wireless. Think one-to-one. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the commonly-accepted buzzword "robust". We have proven we know that it is better to brand magnetically than to reinvent magnetically.