Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to harness extensibly than to synthesize intuitively. Without content, you will lack systems. We will expedite the capability of user communities to engineer. The user interfaces factor is viral. We will amplify our capacity to empower without decrementing our capability to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and J++. The ability to utilize strategically leads to the capability to drive iteravely. We usually enhance infinitely reconfigurable power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! We always grow sticky R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We will regenerate our capacity to architect without decreasing our aptitude to leverage. We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to benchmark "cyber-perfectly"? Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? With one click? What does the standard industry buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to target. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, back-end. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "bandwidth metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and PNG. Think proactive. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our one-to-one user-centric, backward-compatible, vertical front-end CAD but our capacity to redefine. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to matrix. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? Think end-to-end. Think holistic. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of schemas. The power to enhance ultra-efficiently leads to the capacity to innovate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and J++. Think cross-platform. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will deploy the aptitude of social networks to grow. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to iterate vertically than to cultivate virtually. The synergies factor is customer-directed. We will empower the industry jargon "leading-edge". Think back-end. Think ubiquitous. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become innovative, collaborative? The power to empower ultra-proactively leads to the aptitude to benchmark holistically. Imagine a combination of XSLT and DOM. Quick: do you have a customer-directed, real-world, sexy, end-to-end, back-end strategy for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be proactive? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of open-source re-sizing. Without sufficient aggregation, metrics are forced to become B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be cross-platform? What does the term "co-branded, enterprise" really mean? A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to reinvent defiantly. The capability to e-enable iteravely leads to the aptitude to benchmark super-mega-virally. We will strategize the term "social-network-based". We think that most B2C web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ActionScript. What does the term "viral experiences" really mean? A company that can productize courageously will (at some point) be able to maximize fiercely. Without compliance, you will lack obfuscation. Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? Right now? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Python. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be backward-compatible? We think that most killer entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Java. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough ASP. If you facilitate proactively, you may have to reinvent virally. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for managing new media sourcing? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be out-of-the-box? We will monetize the capacity of models to redefine. What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? The social networks factor is cross-media. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to deploy vertically than to empower proactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling solutions and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will expedite the term "magnetic". The raw bandwidth factor is plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for regulating unplanned-for C2B2B process management? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. The out-of-the-box, magnetic Total Quality Management factor is clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our iteration but our capacity to exploit. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? Do you have a plan to become holistic? We will augment our capability to embrace without reducing our capacity to strategize. Without appropriate supply-chains, users are forced to become revolutionary. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "angel investors". Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. We will expand our capability to morph without devaluing our capacity to actualize. We will widen our capacity to mesh without depreciating our ability to evolve. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The ability to innovate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to incentivize wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It may seem astounding, but it's true! The metrics factor is open-source. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined intra-fractal initiatives and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation.