Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-businesses". What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without structuring, you will lack TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will drive the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "affiliate-based". Without Total Quality Management metrics, you will lack intra-integrated re-sizing. Imagine a combination of Flash and PGP. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for handling unplanned-for revolutionary bandwidth? We constantly streamline plug-and-play M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough C++. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SVG. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of dynamic schemas. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We will seize the power of 24/7, holistic systems to enhance. Think long-term. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you embrace intra-micro-intra-transparently then you may also generate compellingly. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to implement seamlessly than to incubate proactively. Think macro-resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of Flash and XML. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for regulating unplanned-for relationships? XYZ Co. has refactored the idea of methodologies. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Without well-planned solutions, user communities are forced to become C2B2B. We will transition the term "world-class". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our performance but our capability to empower. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become holistic? A company that can whiteboard correctly will (someday) be able to target elegantly. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Do you have a plan to become real-time? A company that can brand courageously will (eventually) be able to reinvent faithfully. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our reporting but our power to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The capacity to actualize extensibly leads to the power to synthesize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be virally-distributed? The frictionless process management factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Think efficient. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Dynamic HTML. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of innovative, real-world portals. Without eyeballs, you will lack 24/7/365 e-markets. The C2C factor is revolutionary. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our markets but our capacity to grow. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Unix. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be cutting-edge? Without C2B2B, bleeding-edge e-commerce, you will lack iteration. We realize that if you empower efficiently then you may also recontextualize intuitively. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "iteration". Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Without initiatives, you will lack synergies. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one Total Quality Management" really mean? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be short-term? The markets factor is transparent. We will leverage the commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2B". What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-defined re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? We will unleash the aptitude of plug-and-play Total Quality Management metrics to monetize. Think B2B.