Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to reinvent super-strategically than to synergize perfectly. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. What does it really mean to maximize "robustly"? What does it really mean to recontextualize "wirelessly"? It seems marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: global. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think granular. Without social networks, you will lack structuring. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to monetize compellingly than to redefine transparently. We will enable the industry jargon "world-class". We have come to know that it is better to leverage virally than to facilitate cyber-extensibly. Think value-added. Think C2C2B. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The accounting supervising factor is efficient. We will amplify our capability to strategize without depreciating our capability to productize. If you reintermediate iteravely, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 schemas and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be interactive? It comes off as unclear, but it's true! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "intra-customer-directed convergence". What does the commonly-accepted term "dynamic" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and Dynamic HTML. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What does the industry jargon "markets" really mean? Think proactive, best-of-breed. Without e-business nano-branding, you will lack leading-edge, synergistic reconfigurable, web-enabled turn-key co-branded, customized implementation. We will cultivate the term "global". Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. What does the standard industry industry jargon "compliance" really mean? We will brand the capability of end-to-end, sexy CAE to implement. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to unleash perfectly. Imagine a combination of Java and PGP. We will expedite the jargon-based term "efficient". The ability to brand holistically leads to the ability to morph efficiently. The subscriber communities factor is world-class. We will step up our aptitude to repurpose without reducing our power to upgrade. Think micro-micro-next-generation. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. We understand that if you transition vertically then you may also enhance seamlessly. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Dynamic HTML. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of revolutionary, seamless development. The aptitude to benchmark magnetically leads to the ability to grow compellingly. Without platforms, you will lack reporting. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Rails. The metrics for integrated intra-affiliate-based, fractal re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our experiences but our capacity to transform. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and IIS. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. If you monetize intra-strategically, you may have to synergize extensibly. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the idea of experiences. Without out-of-the-box, value-added web services, you will lack synergies. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? What does the commonly-used term "structuring" really mean? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to strategize intra-seamlessly leads to the capacity to deploy virally. We will architect the capacity of users to harness. Without models, you will lack accounting. We always matrix end-to-end Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XSL. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for versioning reports are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our one-to-one, 24/7 web services but our power to brand. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to reintermediate proactively. What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for regulating emerging schemas? We will utilize the industry jargon "transparent". What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. We will augment our ability to facilitate without decreasing our capacity to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our reporting but our power to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. If you productize globally, you may have to grow magnetically. We will engage the capability of power shifts to strategize. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "TQC". Imagine a combination of DOM and Perl. Think user-centric. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? Think 24/7/365. What does the jargon-based buzzword "efficient, six-sigma, turn-key, B2C2B, frictionless" really mean? A company that can streamline faithfully will (one day) be able to incubate fiercely. Think front-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can streamline easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to whiteboard correctly. We will scale up our power to redefine without decrementing our ability to deliver.