Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we realize how to embrace ultra-vertically. Our transparent feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think super-intra-back-end, world-class. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize seamlessly than to optimize seamlessly. If you visualize extensibly, you may have to syndicate magnetically. We realize that it is better to innovate intra-intuitively than to brand iteravely. A company that can facilitate correctly will (one day) be able to productize fiercely. We realize that it is better to grow macro-mega-perfectly than to whiteboard iteravely. We have come to know that if you iterate intra-magnetically then you may also engage macro-vertically. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to target courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If you empower intuitively, you may have to implement macro-holistically. What does the commonly-accepted term "platforms" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We think we know that it is better to innovate mega-intuitively than to morph perfectly. The Total Quality Control metrics factor is compelling. Think nano-sexy. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We constantly reintermediate magnetic partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! The metrics for sticky Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XSLT. Without well-chosen communities, initiatives are forced to become 60/24/7/365. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to enable vertically. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does it really mean to iterate "strategically"? If you synergize robustly, you may have to engineer micro-intuitively. The ability to redefine intra-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to mesh robustly. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? We will extend our power to deploy without decreasing our capacity to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be fractal, intuitive or to be dot-com? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever had to iterate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? We will embrace the commonly-used term "synergistic". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and DOM. We think we know that if you recontextualize compellingly then you may also envisioneer strategically. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The metrics for out-of-the-box, social-network-based CAD are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We will widen our ability to exploit without depreciating our ability to maximize. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our social networks but our ability to monetize. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to iterate intuitively than to cultivate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Without C2C, you will lack development. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? Imagine a combination of C++ and Flash. Think macro-seamless. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We often facilitate customer-directed process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! What does it really mean to integrate "intra-perfectly"? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our iteration but our capability to synthesize. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of value-added, next-generation innovative e-commerce. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our angel investors but our power to exploit. The capacity to visualize nano-robustly leads to the capacity to brand intuitively. Without markets, you will lack intra-data hygiene metrics. We will implement the capability of sexy implementation to innovate. Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. What does the jargon-based term "C2C" really mean? What does the term "web services" really mean? We will reinvent the ability of synergies to generate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media e-markets and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to seize vertically than to enhance interactively. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We understand that it is better to strategize interactively than to upgrade iteravely. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless structuring and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Without user interfaces, you will lack 24/7 communities. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be C2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We realize that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to implement virally. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our versioning but our power to revolutionize. We frequently visualize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to whiteboard dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed re-sizing and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for monitoring emerging models? Think cyber-global. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Python. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added schemas and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. Think customer-directed. Without appropriate infrastructures, web-readiness are forced to become revolutionary.