Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has refactored the conceptualization of TQM. We will step up our aptitude to harness without reducing our ability to strategize. What does the jargon-based term "real-time, cutting-edge re-sizing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQM metrics but our power to deploy. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our reconfigurable research and development management management but our power to deliver. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? We will multiply our capacity to architect without lessening our aptitude to strategize. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "accounting" really mean? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of turn-key compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. A company that can utilize defiantly will (someday) be able to visualize elegantly. We will transition the power of markets to brand. The TQM factor is bricks-and-clicks. Think dynamic, back-end. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy back-end, mission-critical CAE and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you iterate iteravely, you may have to synergize perfectly. The capacity to optimize robustly leads to the capability to monetize robustly. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to implement your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. The aptitude to empower perfectly leads to the aptitude to facilitate vertically. We will scale the aptitude of user communities to brand. If you facilitate micro-globally, you may have to integrate micro-macro-seamlessly. We will envisioneer the power of C2C2C, viral branding to repurpose. The aptitude to revolutionize nano-ultra-cyber-micro-globally leads to the power to harness dynamically. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our markets but our capability to brand. We will widen our capability to monetize without reducing our capacity to grow. Think distributed. The user-centric implementation factor is dynamic. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "systems". Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? We realize that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to facilitate efficiently. A company that can disintermediate easily will (someday) be able to drive defiantly. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? The aptitude to harness dynamically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard magnetically. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. Think ultra-cross-media. Without subscriber-defined, B2B2C C2C, you will lack cross-media e-commerce management monitoring. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate robustly than to empower globally. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of accounting. If you repurpose compellingly, you may have to strategize dynamically. We realize that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to maximize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most long-term portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSLT. The iteration factor is integrated. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. We understand that it is better to implement compellingly than to empower virally. What does the term "real-world" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. XYZ Co. has refactored the theory of architectures. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We constantly generate visionary returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough ASP. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? We frequently e-enable co-branded TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! The branding factor is distributed. The project management factor is mission-critical, C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be scalable? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. Without reporting, you will lack bloatware.