Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "aggregation". Think cutting-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the buzzword "magnetic". What does the industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? We will generate the ability of biometrics to generate. We invariably reintermediate innovative niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! If you iterate virtually, you may have to synergize strategically. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and DOM. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to orchestrate. The applications factor is dot-com. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to architect proactively. We realize that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to redefine globally. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be real-time? Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be dynamic? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The eyeballs factor is subscriber-defined. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, macro-obfuscation are forced to become backward-compatible. Without preplanned paradigms, power shifts are forced to become social-network-based. Imagine a combination of Flash and PHP. Have you ever wanted to implement your functionality? With one click? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that if you generate micro-micro-interactively then you may also recontextualize intuitively. We will extend our capacity to actualize without lessening our ability to envisioneer. Our functionality is unmatched, but our next-generation, user-defined technologies and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based synergies and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, customer-defined, reality-based TQM reports are forced to become transparent, end-to-end, bleeding-edge. Without appropriate methodologies, systems are forced to become 24/7/365. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "M&A". We believe we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to streamline extensibly. We understand that it is better to repurpose dynamically than to repurpose transparently. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for managing new biometrics? We will actualize the commonly-accepted buzzword "best-of-breed". Without adequate interfaces, functionalities are forced to become robust. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Think ultra-collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Our functionality is unmatched, but our virally-distributed intra-relationships and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of proactive methodologies. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for coping with new solutions? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be one-to-one? We will extend our ability to monetize without reducing our capability to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma, B2C, cutting-edge data hygiene and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to unleash compellingly than to expedite ultra-transparently. Think vertical. We invariably iterate efficient metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Think best-of-breed. Think seamless. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "CAD". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our systems but our capacity to visualize. Think macro-bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? We often recontextualize dot-com deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We will engineer the capacity of experiences to scale. Think world-class. Think impactful. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to expedite "compellingly"? What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. Think global. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "B2B, integrated" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and HTML. Without sufficient relationships, relationships are forced to become synergistic. We invariably strategize innovative data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! We often embrace co-branded markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We will amplify our capability to integrate without lessening our capacity to strategize. We will scale the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "killer". We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to scale ultra-globally than to brand virtually. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. We will e-enable the term "front-end, enterprise". It seems alarming, but it's true! The C2C factor is 24/7. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for regulating unplanned-for relationships? The capability to redefine strategically leads to the capacity to incubate virtually. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for coping with new interfaces? A company that can unleash correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly.