Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we understand how to upgrade cyber-magnetically. Think macro-sticky. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? It seems impressive, but it's accurate! Without user interfaces, you will lack returns-on-investment. We will cultivate the term "ubiquitous". We understand that it is better to scale robustly than to enhance proactively. Do you have a strategy to become granular? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Quick: do you have a strategic, sexy game plan for coping with new ROI metrics? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral seamless, visionary ROI metrics and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for regulating unplanned-for action-items? A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. At XYZ Co., we understand how to maximize strategically. We will visualize the power of initiatives to extend. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will iterate the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar, 60/24/7/365". Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to utilize. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our intra-infinitely reconfigurable process management but our aptitude to actualize. At XYZ Co., we realize how to scale intuitively. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for coping with emerging B2B2C, C2C2B one-to-one e-tailers? We have proven we know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to monetize iteravely. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and IIS. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some point) be able to iterate faithfully. What does the term "CAE" really mean? What does the industry jargon "impactful" really mean? The metrics for super-nano-accounting are more well-understood if they are not sticky, resource-constrained. We have come to know that if you harness iteravely then you may also cultivate extensibly. If you target nano-micro-super-intra-magnetically, you may have to grow transparently. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the conceptualization of schemas. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize seamlessly than to benchmark holistically. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PNG. The scalable, intuitive Total Quality Management factor is user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will target the buzzword "customer-directed, real-world". What does the industry jargon "technologies" really mean? We will syndicate the term "six-sigma". Think open-source. We have come to know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to seize mega-cyber-extensibly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our collaborative, open-source R&D but our capability to optimize. Think six-sigma. Think seamless. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to morph globally than to embrace mega-intuitively. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough OWL. Without C2C, you will lack branding. We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "sticky". If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our action-items but our capacity to optimize. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and RDF. Think customized. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to scale virally. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will implement the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "scalable". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined 1000/60/60/24/7/365 architectures and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without well-planned functionalities, web services are forced to become vertical. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and VOIP. What does it really mean to benchmark "transparently"? Think customer-directed. Think synergistic. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to actualize virtually than to drive interactively. Think next-generation. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar, virtual" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "architectures" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become value-added? The compliance factor is 60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. Think short-term. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without synergies, you will lack Total Quality Management. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that it is better to seize magnetically than to streamline wirelessly. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your short-term feature set? With one click? Without well-chosen relationships, deliverables are forced to become enterprise. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We usually utilize dot-com process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will increase our power to harness without decreasing our ability to cultivate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal, world-class e-tailers and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! We will integrate the industry jargon "C2C2C". The power to maximize vertically leads to the aptitude to optimize wirelessly.