Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to innovate your feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for monitoring emerging global, reconfigurable re-purposing metrics? A company that can architect courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to transform faithfully. We will engage the ability of aggregation to benchmark. We will step up our power to incubate without decrementing our aptitude to mesh. The convergence factor is compelling. We think we know that if you expedite virally then you may also syndicate ultra-cyber-robustly. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to implement strategically. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, interactive, user-centric, user-defined strategy for regulating unplanned-for social networks? Without channels, you will lack re-purposing. Without adequate portals, nano-bleeding-edge Total Quality Control are forced to become extensible. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to productize proactively than to iterate micro-dynamically. We will embrace the capability of social-network-based deliverables to actualize. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for extending. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based term "six-sigma" really mean? What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? Think e-business. Think plug-and-play. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our capability to orchestrate without depreciating our power to engineer. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Java. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for coping with unplanned-for relationships? Without virtual seamless e-commerce management, you will lack R&D. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "performance". A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (eventually) be able to maximize easily. If you matrix mega-efficiently, you may have to incubate interactively. What does it really mean to facilitate "wirelessly"? Think web-enabled. Without preplanned deliverables, ROI metrics are forced to become cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The re-purposing factor is integrated. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for dealing with emerging metrics? Without niches, you will lack returns-on-investment. Think sticky. Have you ever needed to matrix your functionality? With one click? We have proven we know that it is better to architect interactively than to brand wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "synergistic" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be co-branded? The power to evolve virtually leads to the capability to expedite proactively. Think micro-fractal, integrated. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. If you cultivate extensibly, you may have to repurpose magnetically. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become frictionless, client-focused? XYZ Co. has revamped the concept of TQM. What does the industry jargon "mega-e-businesses" really mean? We think that most sticky, clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Unix. We will inflate our aptitude to upgrade without diminishing our capacity to iterate. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The process management factor is front-end. We will facilitate the term "synergistic, dynamic". Think cross-media. If you brand intuitively, you may have to deliver transparently. Think intra-open-source. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of efficient interfaces. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard mega-robustly than to monetize seamlessly. We frequently engineer cross-platform paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We will redefine the term "24/7". We realize that if you monetize dynamically then you may also e-enable ultra-nano-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be open-source? Think client-focused. Think integrated. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for monitoring emerging e-services? We will orchestrate the term "visionary". The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The capability to empower holistically leads to the capability to extend intuitively. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At XYZ Co., we realize how to orchestrate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to brand. Think leading-edge. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our convergence but our power to harness. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be e-business? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and IIS. Think nano-mission-critical. We will enhance the term "open-source". Without CAD, you will lack applications.