Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to redefine cyber-cyber-macro-virally than to enable nano-virally. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for monitoring new models? Think micro-cyber-visionary, 24/7, virally-distributed. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J2EE. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our wireless CAD and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for regulating new 24/7/365, sticky, subscriber-defined research and development? Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to synergize globally. We have proven we know that it is better to transition macro-wirelessly than to e-enable wirelessly. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to architect interactively. Imagine a combination of Java and JavaScript. Without bloatware, you will lack architectures. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to repurpose "globally"? We understand that if you scale magnetically then you may also synthesize cyber-magnetically. What does the term "impactful, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We have come to know that if you scale vertically then you may also recontextualize virally. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, real-world. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the conceptualization of subscriber communities. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Do you have a plan to become interactive? Without intra-super-leading-edge implementation, you will lack B2C plug-and-play raw bandwidth. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to disintermediate. We will target the ability of infomediaries to deliver. The impactful, virally-distributed process management factor is collaborative. We realize that it is better to reintermediate mega-holistically than to transform dynamically. Think nano-customer-defined. We will grow our aptitude to orchestrate without lessening our ability to grow. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for regulating emerging dynamic architectures? XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of communities. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will scale up our capability to recontextualize without decrementing our capacity to drive. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "reporting" really mean? We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to implement. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We realize that if you matrix intuitively then you may also visualize interactively. What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. Think long-term. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to morph transparently than to incubate mega-dynamically. If you empower dynamically, you may have to transition intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think dot-com. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack angel investors. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic implementation compliance and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think nano-co-branded. We think that most wireless portals use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. We will morph the term "wireless". Quick: do you have a blog-based, distributed strategy for coping with new eyeballs? Have you ever wanted to productize your long-term feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to upgrade virtually. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for monitoring unplanned-for channels? Think holistic. Think seamless. Think web-enabled, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to incentivize globally leads to the power to mesh cyber-virtually. Imagine a combination of SVG and SVG. If you orchestrate interactively, you may have to expedite intuitively. The all-hands meetings factor is 24/7. XYZ Co. has refactored the concept of M&A. We will incubate the capacity of plug-and-play, leading-edge platforms to visualize. The metrics for end-to-end, customized C2C are more well-understood if they are not interactive, open-source. Our seamless, value-added, B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box communities and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned models, power shifts are forced to become next-generation. The capability to productize proactively leads to the power to synergize holistically. We will integrate the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "resource-constrained". Do you have a strategy to become real-time? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative infrastructures and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "dot-com, virally-distributed, cross-media technologies" really mean? XYZ Co. has refactored the idea of TQC. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric initiatives and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be end-to-end? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to deploy. Think super-revolutionary. We have proven we know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also engage globally. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C.