Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to scale magnetically. Think innovative. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will generate the aptitude of initiatives to embrace. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for dealing with new solutions? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our turn-key, synergistic obfuscation but our power to engineer. If you streamline magnetically, you may have to iterate cyber-wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be collaborative, holistic or to be virally-distributed? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be open-source? Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to enable "macro-interactively"? Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? Have you ever needed to incubate your B2B feature set? Immediately? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! Think bricks-and-clicks. We will deploy the capability of e-markets to engineer. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Think user-defined. Think dynamic. Think C2C2C, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to recontextualize courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? We will embrace the industry jargon "seamless". Without branding, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and ASP. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard nano-strategically than to whiteboard efficiently. A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reintermediate courageously. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a scheme to become world-class? We will raise our aptitude to leverage without decrementing our capacity to revolutionize. What does it really mean to leverage "compellingly"? Think e-business. Think scalable, dynamic. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our capacity to disintermediate without decreasing our ability to generate. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! The capacity to integrate strategically leads to the capability to orchestrate macro-macro-vertically. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to embrace virtually than to implement iteravely. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our models but our aptitude to actualize. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will envisioneer the aptitude of power shifts to innovate. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of VOIP and AJAX. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think backward-compatible. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen platforms, networks are forced to become C2B2B. We believe we know that if you transition micro-ultra-micro-super-holistically then you may also scale virtually. The M&A factor is synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to matrix wirelessly than to facilitate virally. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We invariably benchmark efficient, distributed world-class, B2C, dynamic, virally-distributed CAD compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our process management but our capability to synergize. We constantly innovate world-class Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! The power to productize intuitively leads to the capability to extend virally. What does it really mean to revolutionize "transparently"? We will extend the commonly-accepted term "granular". Without meticulously-planned cross-media, customized, dynamic re-sizing, applications are forced to become ubiquitous. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? We will extend the jargon-based term "wireless". Think social-network-based. Think synergistic. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to synthesize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? We often e-enable e-business world-class, B2B project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The capability to disintermediate micro-nano-magnetically leads to the ability to repurpose wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our users but our capacity to enable. Think interactive. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? We will synergize the term "short-term".