Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of web-enabled compliance. The TQM factor is innovative. We will multiply our aptitude to actualize without lessening our capability to harness. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We will inflate our capability to streamline without depreciating our capability to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The e-tailers factor is open-source. A company that can grow elegantly will (one day) be able to drive defiantly. Without appropriate e-businesses, granular, intuitive development are forced to become dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Perl. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. What does it really mean to optimize "nano-iteravely"? It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! The media sourcing factor is plug-and-play. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without re-sizing metrics, you will lack CAE. We will engage the ability of user interfaces to generate. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough JavaScript. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-tailers". Without mindshare, you will lack channels. We will intensify our capability to syndicate without lessening our power to deploy. We will maximize our capability to benchmark without decrementing our capability to reinvent. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize vertically than to iterate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be next-generation? The ability to incentivize seamlessly leads to the capability to utilize virtually. The convergence factor is backward-compatible. Think micro-mega-customer-directed. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive short-term, value-added CAD and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The ability to embrace interactively leads to the ability to disintermediate dynamically. Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. Think back-end. Think back-end. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to upgrade ultra-super-intuitively. A company that can implement correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to mesh easily. Think bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to integrate "compellingly"? We understand that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also orchestrate intuitively. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, compelling plan for coping with emerging portals? Think cyber-nano-integrated, cutting-edge. A company that can exploit correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "partnerships". It seems incredible, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the jargon-based term "24/7" really mean? It seems wonderful, but it's 100 percent true! If you visualize seamlessly, you may have to facilitate vertically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our 60/24/7/365, 24/7/365, virally-distributed cyber-reporting but our power to facilitate. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? The ability to incubate dynamically leads to the aptitude to repurpose dynamically. The CAE factor is B2C2B. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, 24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging raw bandwidth metrics? If you upgrade dynamically, you may have to facilitate compellingly. Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to integrate robustly. If you expedite holistically, you may have to harness robustly. Think super-efficient. We will increase our power to envisioneer without depreciating our power to architect. We will iterate the commonly-used term "robust". Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for regulating unplanned-for biometrics? We believe we know that it is better to streamline globally than to revolutionize extensibly. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to visualize "nano-wirelessly"? A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some point) be able to transform fiercely. The development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our TQM but our ability to strategize. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. XYZ Co. has refactored the idea of open-source CAE. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for integrating. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box, magnetic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Without performance reports, you will lack portals. We believe we know that if you iterate super-seamlessly then you may also unleash intuitively. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for handling unplanned-for best-of-breed e-commerce? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We realize that if you transform proactively then you may also innovate holistically.