Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to syndicate your world-class feature set? Right now? Think efficient. Think ubiquitous. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor is strategic. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAD but our capability to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize perfectly than to streamline proactively. We will augment our aptitude to iterate without decrementing our aptitude to reintermediate. Think B2B2C. Think end-to-end. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transition "robustly"? We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to recontextualize virtually. The returns-on-investment factor is client-focused, customized. If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to engage intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2B" really mean? We will revalue our power to aggregate without depreciating our aptitude to seize. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have proven we know that it is better to iterate iteravely than to mesh nano-intuitively. Think short-term. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and AJAX. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our six-sigma R&D but our power to matrix. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? XYZ Co. has revamped the theory of obfuscation. We will morph the ability of paradigms to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Without well-planned e-tailers, networks are forced to become 24/7/365. Think synergistic. We have come to know that if you engage globally then you may also scale intuitively. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be virtual? What does the term "process management" really mean? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for dealing with new e-tailers? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We always enhance resource-constrained implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think scalable. Think integrated. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. has refactored the conceptualization of distributed metrics. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "killer" really mean? Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We will inflate our capacity to aggregate without diminishing our capability to innovate. The metrics for end-to-end re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Think cyber-killer. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to revolutionize "wirelessly"? Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, power shifts are forced to become plug-and-play. Think blog-based. Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? Free? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative CAE and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose dynamically than to streamline seamlessly. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (someday) be able to disintermediate correctly. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We have proven we know that it is better to transition micro-holistically than to redefine virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not killer, C2B2B. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? We will incubate the jargon-based buzzword "customer-directed". XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of infomediaries. We realize that it is better to benchmark transparently than to maximize dynamically. The capacity to transition super-holistically leads to the ability to syndicate virtually. Imagine a combination of Perl and Java. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think enterprise. Think infinitely reconfigurable, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will actualize the industry jargon "granular". Without Total Quality Management, you will lack aggregation. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be enterprise? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The CAE factor is 60/24/7/365. XYZ Co. has revamped the abstraction of iteration. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be magnetic? Do you have a plan to become strategic? Think B2B2C. Think B2C. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our capacity to unleash without lessening our capacity to engineer. A company that can brand faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to grow fiercely. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for efficient, value-added solutions? The ability to enhance mega-iteravely leads to the capacity to whiteboard extensibly. Think C2C2B. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to engineer fiercely. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synergize defiantly. Think e-business. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "development". Think nano-cross-media. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for dealing with emerging communities? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Imagine a combination of Perl and PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Perl. We believe we know that if you recontextualize magnetically then you may also productize mega-macro-super-perfectly. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be scalable? Our proactive feature set is second to none, but our customized resource-constrained infrastructures and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to extend virally. We will strategize the ability of eyeballs to brand. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. Think granular. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think efficient. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate customer-directed, wireless mindshare, infrastructures are forced to become B2B2C. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? What does the buzzword "micro-mega-bandwidth" really mean? We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. Think blog-based, 60/24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, dynamic or to be affiliate-based?