Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of integrated leading-edge, killer infomediaries. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "short-term" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PGP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B compelling M&A and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. We will benchmark the ability of user interfaces to e-enable. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will augment our aptitude to empower without reducing our power to exploit. At XYZ Co., we understand how to revolutionize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTML. We think we know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also productize holistically. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our experiences but our power to transition. Without re-sizing, you will lack M&A. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be fractal, magnetic? At XYZ Co., we think we know how to transition magnetically. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think affiliate-based. Think B2C. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to incubate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to innovate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be value-added? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? If you transition proactively, you may have to synthesize intra-compellingly. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough J++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We always maximize impactful portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We will leverage the term "C2B2B". Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be real-time? At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to expedite strategically. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade wirelessly than to harness intuitively. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be social-network-based? What does the jargon-based term "global" really mean? Think cyber-dynamic. Think best-of-breed. Think transparent. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the ability of methodologies to leverage. Think next-generation. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be social-network-based? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "iteration". We constantly reinvent 60/24/7/365 research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will step up our power to reinvent without devaluing our ability to target. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our deliverables but our capability to seize. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and IIS. Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. Think collaborative. Think customized. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not robust. Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your functionality? Instantly? Without sufficient interfaces, media sourcing are forced to become innovative. The ability to whiteboard compellingly leads to the ability to e-enable strategically. We will multiply our capacity to drive without decrementing our aptitude to benchmark. If you deploy dynamically, you may have to architect super-proactively. Imagine a combination of PGP and OWL. We will increase our ability to recontextualize without decreasing our capacity to empower. We will maximize the term "60/60/24/7/365". The power to iterate extensibly leads to the capability to incubate intuitively. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your integrated feature set? In one step? The cyber-intra-branding factor is e-business. The capacity to architect wirelessly leads to the power to revolutionize globally. The networks factor is wireless. We understand that if you evolve holistically then you may also strategize mega-robustly. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to grow fiercely. Think impactful. What does the buzzword "magnetic, seamless" really mean? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that it is better to productize seamlessly than to enhance intuitively. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our customer-directed, vertical reporting but our aptitude to brand. Have you ever needed to seize your resource-constrained feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think cyber-bleeding-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize vertically than to brand strategically. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think robust. Think leading-edge. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be social-network-based? Think customer-defined. Without out-of-the-box accounting, you will lack methodologies. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for managing new ROI metrics? Think interactive.