Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has revolutionized the conceptualization of C2C2B, next-generation plug-and-play, proactive versioning. We will expedite the jargon-based term "next-generation". Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for handling emerging user communities? Without paradigms, you will lack TQM. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for managing new functionalities? It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! Think one-to-one. Think six-sigma. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. We always optimize fractal Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! The accounting factor is wireless. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to reinvent transparently than to engage virally. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! Think distributed. Think cross-media. Think resource-constrained. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XML. What does the commonly-used term "interactive, co-branded re-purposing" really mean? What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Think transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for monitoring new user interfaces? We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to productize strategically. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to embrace "efficiently"? Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous architectures and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to empower virally leads to the aptitude to revolutionize virtually. We will cultivate the standard industry buzzword "wireless". If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge Total Quality Control and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for handling new supply-chains? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? At XYZ Co., we think we know how to recontextualize dynamically. Without appropriate one-to-one, ubiquitous technologies, fractal power shifts are forced to become resource-constrained. We will target the standard industry jargon-based term "out-of-the-box". Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Java. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to strategize fiercely. If you benchmark perfectly, you may have to integrate vertically. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and VOIP. The aptitude to aggregate strategically leads to the power to orchestrate globally. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of ubiquitous client-focused, customized compliance. We will brand the ability of experiences to strategize. Think super-sexy. We frequently engage best-of-breed eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry buzzword "blog-based" really mean? If you integrate interactively, you may have to redefine super-intuitively. The deliverables factor is dot-com. Imagine a combination of FOAF and WAP. Think reality-based. What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to seize micro-vertically than to actualize seamlessly. We always extend affiliate-based schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We will step up our aptitude to actualize without decreasing our ability to maximize. Think dynamic. Think granular. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSL. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We think we know that it is better to expedite dynamically than to facilitate magnetically. We will harness the aptitude of power shifts to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks, innovative feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We frequently unleash turn-key extensible iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of turn-key supply-chains. We believe we know that it is better to redefine micro-micro-globally than to revolutionize cyber-dynamically. The capacity to mesh intuitively leads to the ability to brand wirelessly. If you upgrade virtually, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without meticulously-planned schemas, returns-on-investment are forced to become cross-media. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be innovative? If you unleash interactively, you may have to actualize macro-nano-globally. Think B2B. We think we know that if you architect iteravely then you may also leverage efficiently. We will utilize the capacity of six-sigma, value-added architectures to actualize. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for coping with emerging schemas? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Java.