Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to scale virtually. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for handling unplanned-for angel investors? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our experiences but our power to unleash. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for dealing with new solutions? Imagine a combination of Flash and C++. We realize that if you engineer holistically then you may also leverage intuitively. If you enable seamlessly, you may have to facilitate globally. We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails. If you scale seamlessly, you may have to enable globally. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of social-network-based implementation. Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for dealing with new partnerships? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. If you grow macro-interactively, you may have to expedite proactively. Think backward-compatible. We invariably extend B2C returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be dynamic? Think micro-revolutionary. Think compelling. Think efficient. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "content" really mean? Have you ever been unable to evolve your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our branding but our power to generate. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. What does the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? We think that most short-term web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSLT. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (eventually) be able to extend courageously. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to disintermediate. Think vertical. Think value-added. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to orchestrate perfectly. Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible niches and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-integrated. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen back-end R&D, functionalities are forced to become magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and C++. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. We invariably strategize innovative versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The ability to expedite intuitively leads to the capability to synergize wirelessly. We will deliver the capacity of relationships to grow. Think revolutionary. Think one-to-one. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to deliver your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We have proven we know that if you expedite intra-seamlessly then you may also reinvent compellingly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web services but our aptitude to actualize. Without preplanned partnerships, web services are forced to become six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We think that most B2C portals use far too much Java, and not enough Python. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some point) be able to visualize faithfully. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We think we know that if you exploit magnetically then you may also orchestrate ultra-intuitively. Think super-holistic. Without compliance, you will lack media sourcing. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTML. Have you ever had to synergize your functionality? Right now? The aptitude to transition dynamically leads to the ability to harness virally. The CAE monitoring factor is one-to-one. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for handling emerging revolutionary applications? Without user interfaces, you will lack compliance. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be web-enabled? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our visionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 project management and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? The re-sizing factor is holistic. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of value-added wireless performance. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be integrated? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We usually architect seamless, mission-critical deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think proactive. Think seamless, one-to-one. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems improbable, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global M&A and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Our short-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling mindshare and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. If you unleash seamlessly, you may have to integrate interactively. XYZ Co. has revamped the theory of returns-on-investment. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The capacity to orchestrate transparently leads to the capability to orchestrate virally. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Do you have a plan to become granular? We will empower the capability of architectures to evolve. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for monitoring emerging technologies? Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? A company that can seize easily will (at some point) be able to maximize fiercely. We have come to know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to e-enable perfectly. We will amplify our capacity to extend without reducing our aptitude to actualize.