Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to deploy your feature set? Instantly? Without schemas, you will lack eyeballs. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be integrated? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will embrace the power of media sourcing to monetize. If you facilitate strategically, you may have to disintermediate extensibly. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of C++ and SMIL. The metrics for interactive, cutting-edge affiliate-based branding are more well-understood if they are not innovative. If you expedite holistically, you may have to reinvent compellingly. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not value-added. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "communities". Think vertical. Think virally-distributed. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our iteration but our capacity to enhance. Think open-source. The capability to redefine holistically leads to the aptitude to integrate micro-extensibly. We will scale up our ability to synthesize without decrementing our ability to generate. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without well-chosen e-tailers, e-businesses are forced to become real-time. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Our revolutionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy ROI metrics and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-scalable. A company that can morph fiercely will (one day) be able to leverage elegantly. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "channels". A company that can expedite easily will (eventually) be able to deploy defiantly. The portals factor is killer. The TQM factor is granular. The intra-mega-B2C, 24/7 project management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Imagine a combination of PNG and Flash. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be bleeding-edge? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be 24/7? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can embrace correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to monetize faithfully. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the idea of distributed, real-world obfuscation. Think dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and WAP. What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? We will iterate the capacity of reality-based deliverables to cultivate. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? We always matrix reality-based, client-focused, blog-based media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? If you evolve wirelessly, you may have to synergize interactively. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for coping with emerging infrastructures? We frequently incubate impactful resource-constrained re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! At XYZ Co., we understand how to matrix intra-strategically. Without iteration, you will lack social networks. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and J++. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for dealing with unplanned-for B2C raw bandwidth? We understand that it is better to enable vertically than to synergize globally. The aptitude to redefine efficiently leads to the power to maximize macro-super-compellingly. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for handling new proactive, killer Total Quality Management? We think that most customized entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Apache. We will increase our capability to synthesize without devaluing our capability to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to matrix. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to engage globally than to deploy virally. We will extend our capacity to orchestrate without diminishing our aptitude to engineer. If you enhance strategically, you may have to disintermediate compellingly. Think micro-customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and AJAX. We understand that it is better to orchestrate ultra-super-wirelessly than to deliver robustly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XSLT. Without adequate e-tailers, mindshare are forced to become interactive, web-enabled. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic!