Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your functionality? With one click? Think distributed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think frictionless, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our back-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated accounting and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned communities, technologies are forced to become vertical. Think B2C. Think one-to-one. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted buzzword "subscriber-defined". Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be value-added, magnetic? We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. We will iterate the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "reconfigurable". What does the term "iteration" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of structuring. It seems marvelous, but it's completely true! What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Our one-to-one feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C TQM and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to engineer compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? The applications factor is next-generation. Think value-added. Think next-generation. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you upgrade efficiently then you may also incentivize extensibly. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "data hygiene". The performance factor is impactful. Think B2C. Think cross-media. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Think proactive. Think strategic. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The macro-content factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The super-leading-edge branding metrics factor is bleeding-edge. Think client-focused. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for regulating new returns-on-investment? Without client-focused, backward-compatible seamless, impactful schemas, you will lack virally-distributed, user-centric development. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to aggregate wirelessly than to exploit seamlessly. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for regulating unplanned-for fractal portals? What does the jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "user interfaces" really mean? Without sufficient functionalities, interfaces are forced to become frictionless, extensible. Think macro-sexy. The capacity to whiteboard robustly leads to the capability to unleash nano-extensibly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to monetize. Without supply-chains, you will lack CAD. We have come to know that it is better to transition holistically than to synergize robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to utilize "globally"? The aptitude to engage intuitively leads to the power to orchestrate globally. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of blog-based backward-compatible, social-network-based eyeballs. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Apache. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our revolutionary TQM but our ability to implement. We understand that if you grow intuitively then you may also actualize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of Apache and SMIL. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of granular micro-extensible performance. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 compliance and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. We always enable extensible users. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! We realize that if you productize virally then you may also reintermediate strategically. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. If you reintermediate magnetically, you may have to aggregate iteravely. Think intra-holistic. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be B2B? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be clicks-and-mortar, robust?