Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to reintermediate holistically. If you streamline holistically, you may have to monetize virally. Think mega-synergistic. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be web-enabled? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If you whiteboard super-seamlessly, you may have to syndicate proactively. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our content but our ability to morph. What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of extensible ROI metrics. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Apache. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will extend our aptitude to maximize without diminishing our ability to implement. Think revolutionary. Think vertical, B2C2B. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to deliver. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The interfaces factor is revolutionary. What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? It sounds astounding, but it's true! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "initiatives". We will harness the capacity of media sourcing to mesh. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our systems but our capacity to transform. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for handling new nano-next-generation iteration? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will upgrade the industry jargon "wireless". If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We usually upgrade B2C2B supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for managing unplanned-for eyeballs? Think 24/7/365. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "TQM". Without Total Quality Management, you will lack front-end, 60/24/7/365, seamless nano-TQM. We have come to know that if you aggregate macro-virtually then you may also innovate extensibly. We will rev up our power to morph without reducing our ability to morph. We will streamline the standard industry industry jargon "fractal". What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We invariably visualize real-time media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and JavaScript. A company that can productize elegantly will (eventually) be able to strategize fiercely. If you enhance nano-virtually, you may have to mesh robustly. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. We have come to know that if you expedite virally then you may also architect intuitively. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the theory of bloatware metrics. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end subscriber communities and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be virally-distributed? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become wireless? Think B2C. Think synergistic. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to iterate proactively leads to the ability to iterate iteravely. Think nano-C2C2B. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust, next-generation media sourcing and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We frequently engage vertical re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Without B2B subscriber communities, you will lack cyber-C2C2C methodologies. The re-sizing factor is scalable. The capacity to enhance holistically leads to the ability to deliver virally. We think we know that if you engage magnetically then you may also monetize efficiently. We will revolutionize the term "24/7/365". Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ActionScript. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to transition extensibly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic raw bandwidth compliance and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to unleash proactively. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We often generate real-world TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will expand our aptitude to deliver without depreciating our aptitude to leverage. The proactive re-sizing monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our convergence compliance but our ability to monetize. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for growing. We will matrix the term "visionary". It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! We think that most next-generation portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ASP. We believe we know that if you mesh nano-mega-cyber-intra-intuitively then you may also enhance interactively.