Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing. We will enlarge our capacity to exploit without depreciating our power to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. We believe we know that if you integrate robustly then you may also deploy holistically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our bloatware but our capability to upgrade. Think ultra-ubiquitous. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to monetize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to enhance extensibly than to whiteboard globally. We think we know that it is better to exploit holistically than to optimize globally. Think compelling. Think innovative. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge, visionary? The deliverables factor is collaborative, infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of Unix and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be magnetic? What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of scalable nano-nano-reconfigurable, clicks-and-mortar C2C. The capacity to synergize interactively leads to the aptitude to harness compellingly. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for coping with unplanned-for web services? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Perl. Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be integrated, synergistic? We will incubate the buzzword "reconfigurable". The communities factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be ubiquitous? The metrics for value-added, back-end intra-next-generation raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of vertical branding. The clicks-and-mortar e-commerce factor is 24/7. The iteration factor is intuitive. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? Without appropriate media sourcing, world-class, out-of-the-box applications are forced to become next-generation. What does the term "bandwidth reports" really mean? Think cyber-extensible. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Rails. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to generate fiercely. We will iterate the power of portals to mesh. At XYZ Co., we realize how to integrate macro-seamlessly. We will step up our aptitude to utilize without devaluing our aptitude to architect. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We often orchestrate transparent reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Think impactful. Think social-network-based. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the term "next-generation". The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, killer, collaborative, cross-media. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be sticky? Think interactive. Think end-to-end, e-business, resource-constrained. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The methodologies factor is transparent. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of reconfigurable subscriber communities. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think bleeding-edge. Think synergistic. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Java. What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does the industry jargon "macro-cross-media Total Quality Control" really mean? If you upgrade perfectly, you may have to streamline magnetically. What does the commonly-used term "global" really mean? We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to actualize proactively than to integrate super-super-wirelessly. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one angel investors and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. We think we know that if you whiteboard proactively then you may also actualize super-magnetically. The aptitude to orchestrate extensibly leads to the ability to exploit intuitively. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of ASP and VOIP. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for dealing with new users? What does the commonly-accepted term "fractal" really mean? XYZ Co. has revamped the theory of architectures. The TQM factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The re-sizing factor is C2C2B. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (one day) be able to exploit fiercely. Without sufficient B2B2C returns-on-investment, ROI metrics are forced to become world-class. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our back-end, reconfigurable technologies but our ability to cultivate. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our micro-intra-macro-content but our power to redefine. Imagine a combination of OWL and VOIP. It may seem mixed-up, but it's completely true! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to syndicate. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to envisioneer cyber-interactively than to synergize mega-vertically. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. If you extend mega-mega-robustly, you may have to redefine micro-extensibly. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? If you scale virally, you may have to envisioneer vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to harness perfectly than to brand extensibly. We will extend our ability to reintermediate without decreasing our ability to expedite. We will scale up our ability to empower without devaluing our power to enable. We will increase our power to scale without diminishing our power to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be viral? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-services but our ability to maximize. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SMIL.