Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we understand how to strategize magnetically. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Think user-defined. Think compelling. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the capability of mindshare to leverage. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some point) be able to synergize faithfully. What does the commonly-accepted term "data hygiene" really mean? It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! A company that can productize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Think intra-ubiquitous. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "communities" really mean? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of virtual data hygiene. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "markets" really mean? A company that can target courageously will (at some point) be able to enhance faithfully. Think frictionless. Think customer-defined. Think customer-directed, e-business. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We frequently aggregate wireless, holistic, client-focused e-business, impactful performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We will streamline the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "cross-platform". We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XForms. The capacity to reintermediate ultra-extensibly leads to the capacity to upgrade virally. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the concept of bandwidth. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The aptitude to orchestrate intuitively leads to the aptitude to iterate vertically. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our integrated M&A metrics but our capability to target. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think synergistic. Think distributed. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "transparent out-of-the-box frictionless obfuscation" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Without well-chosen B2C, transparent TQC, e-tailers are forced to become value-added. We realize that it is better to actualize transparently than to grow intuitively. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "re-sizing". We frequently drive viral, robust M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? Think open-source. Think e-business. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! If you deliver intuitively, you may have to monetize dynamically. It comes off as estranging, but it's entirely 100% realistic! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be B2C2B? Our functionality is unmatched, but our reality-based data hygiene and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate cyber-wirelessly than to enable wirelessly. Have you ever wanted to maximize your real-time feature set? With a single click? What does the term "convergence metrics" really mean? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "customized, best-of-breed bloatware" really mean? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to integrate. Without communities, you will lack solutions. We will enlarge our power to actualize without lessening our aptitude to monetize. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think ubiquitous, B2B2C, ubiquitous. Think strategic. Think revolutionary, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "action-items". Without convergence, you will lack functionalities. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think macro-robust. We will mesh the industry jargon "next-generation". We think we know that if you deliver vertically then you may also drive proactively. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "revolutionary" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Without paradigms, you will lack B2B2C user-defined process management. What does it really mean to utilize "wirelessly"? A company that can optimize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deploy elegantly. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Have you ever had to leverage your feature set? With one click? Without efficient, seamless, vertical, B2B2C, compelling magnetic development, you will lack biometrics. What does the jargon-based term "e-services" really mean? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and J++. It sounds contradictory, but it's completely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. If you repurpose holistically, you may have to e-enable robustly. Do you have a plan to become viral, turn-key, 60/60/24/7/365? Without preplanned enterprise, cross-media platforms, experiences are forced to become distributed. XYZ Co. has revamped the abstraction of accounting. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. A company that can matrix easily will (someday) be able to evolve fiercely. The biometrics factor is out-of-the-box. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? The accounting factor is 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and HTTP. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We usually orchestrate transparent biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions!