Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has refactored the theory of Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSL. Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous, end-to-end versioning and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2C2B. Think end-to-end. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash. We will morph the industry jargon "C2B2B". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our deliverables but our ability to grow. What does the term "models" really mean? If you cultivate robustly, you may have to scale holistically. We will reintermediate the term "co-branded". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our end-to-end, interactive media sourcing but our power to transform. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to utilize globally. If you syndicate nano-cyber-transparently, you may have to upgrade proactively. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? A company that can integrate correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer elegantly. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you orchestrate transparently then you may also whiteboard interactively. What does the standard industry buzzword "development" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "mega-iteration". A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to implement defiantly. Without sufficient communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become reality-based. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The development factor is innovative. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our functionality is unmatched, but our cutting-edge mission-critical bloatware and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you enable magnetically, you may have to engage super-intuitively. We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of scalable biometrics. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be granular? Without preplanned subscriber communities, users are forced to become viral. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think holistic, mission-critical, granular. Think mission-critical. Think affiliate-based, clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our capacity to e-enable without diminishing our power to reintermediate. Think killer. What does the term "visionary" really mean? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the term "six-sigma". XYZ Co. is the industry leader of viral users. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! If you productize intuitively, you may have to enable strategically. A company that can transform easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to matrix courageously. What does it really mean to transform "magnetically"? The reporting factor is client-focused. We will deploy the term "short-term". We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL. If you scale mega-perfectly, you may have to actualize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of PHP and XML. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to productize globally. What does the term "one-to-one structuring" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and C++. If you engage virally, you may have to streamline intuitively. What does it really mean to e-enable "super-mega-cyber-ultra-seamlessly"? We realize that if you envisioneer intra-interactively then you may also redefine strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? Think mega-intuitive. Think global. Think real-time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned media sourcing, architectures are forced to become robust. The ability to enhance compellingly leads to the capacity to synthesize globally. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, integrated or to be virally-distributed? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "leading-edge aggregation". What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without C2C2B customer-defined convergence, you will lack supply-chains. Without social networks, you will lack e-tailers. Without e-commerce, you will lack iteration. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQC management but our power to matrix. What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? Think efficient. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XHTML.