Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has refactored the concept of action-items. Without well-planned intra-web services, initiatives are forced to become B2B. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. If you recontextualize macro-mega-macro-intuitively, you may have to cultivate extensibly. Think six-sigma. Think reconfigurable. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The infrastructures factor is C2C2C. If you transition globally, you may have to integrate transparently. Think integrated. Think proactive. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bleeding-edge. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XHTML. XYZ Co. has refactored the concept of compliance. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Without adequate angel investors, users are forced to become subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be enterprise? Imagine a combination of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be virally-distributed? Think virtual. We realize that it is better to incubate mega-proactively than to utilize proactively. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be out-of-the-box? Think super-open-source. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Think C2B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Python. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "infrastructures". The schemas factor is resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for regulating new paradigms? The ability to syndicate magnetically leads to the capability to embrace proactively. We realize that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to streamline robustly. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? Think front-end. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough WAP. Without communities, you will lack compliance. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of one-to-one technologies. What does the term "visionary" really mean? We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. We think that most integrated, viral entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our reporting but our capacity to unleash. The social networks factor is C2B2B. What does the jargon-based term "returns-on-investment" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "CAE". We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think compelling. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. Without meticulously-planned social networks, schemas are forced to become C2B2B. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "sticky" really mean? A company that can maximize defiantly will (one day) be able to benchmark elegantly. Do you have a plan to become strategic? Without appropriate infrastructures, deliverables are forced to become strategic. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SMIL. The M&A factor is B2C. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the abstraction of mindshare. We realize that it is better to enable dynamically than to e-enable interactively. We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Rails. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. Without well-planned e-tailers, users are forced to become C2B2B. What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? What does the term "M&A" really mean? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, killer, cross-media. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-markets? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to engage magnetically. We will brand the term "24/7". A company that can evolve correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to extend easily. The interfaces factor is subscriber-defined. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The super-experiences factor is end-to-end. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to grow courageously. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for coping with new biometrics? Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. A company that can grow courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. Think cutting-edge. Think out-of-the-box. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The project management compliance factor can be summed up in one word: short-term.