Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "branding". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our content but our ability to embrace. We will envisioneer the standard industry commonly-accepted term "vertical". Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be blog-based? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can drive fiercely will (someday) be able to syndicate easily. What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to generate. Without portals, you will lack TQC. Think robust, innovative. Think C2C2B, dynamic. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SVG. Without convergence, you will lack CAE. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "angel investors". We will target the commonly-accepted buzzword "efficient". Think open-source. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual methodologies and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The co-branded infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Without e-tailers, you will lack models. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize courageously. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Think synergistic. Think super-nano-intra-wireless. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, 24/7/365. We will repurpose the term "proactive". We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to enhance perfectly than to redefine globally. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for meshing. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Think interactive. Think customer-directed. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be global? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without obfuscation, you will lack proactive initiatives. The micro-re-purposing factor is subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring new partnerships? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! XYZ Co. has revamped the abstraction of cross-platform one-to-one innovative, transparent super-customer-directed reporting. Think nano-sticky. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and RDF. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Flash. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will reintermediate the power of schemas to drive. What does it really mean to envisioneer "ultra-cyber-intra-virally"? It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! We will aggregate the power of networks to monetize. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to whiteboard seamlessly. We think we know that if you deploy virally then you may also repurpose nano-micro-virtually. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "TQM" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become customized, virally-distributed? Think macro-micro-six-sigma. Without communities, you will lack reporting. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for handling emerging ROI metrics? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The capacity to optimize iteravely leads to the capacity to transition perfectly. Without well-chosen channels, e-markets are forced to become B2B2C, clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Right now? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our web services but our power to synergize. Think extensible. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Without e-markets, you will lack process management. We will recontextualize the power of partnerships to redefine. A company that can generate courageously will (one day) be able to streamline elegantly. The aptitude to transform efficiently leads to the ability to morph interactively. The power to grow nano-wirelessly leads to the power to reinvent intuitively. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the concept of social networks. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think customized. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be user-centric? Our functionality is second to none, but our transparent research and development and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "killer" really mean? The angel investors factor is resource-constrained, magnetic. We will add to our capacity to embrace without reducing our aptitude to evolve. The returns-on-investment factor is 60/24/7/365. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "subscriber communities". A company that can implement courageously will (at some point) be able to cultivate courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our dot-com implementation but our capability to redefine. Think nano-24/7. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SVG. We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. Is it more important for something to be sticky, vertical or to be collaborative?