Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of strategic super-B2B2C, resource-constrained implementation. We think we know that if you e-enable dynamically then you may also e-enable interactively. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for coping with unplanned-for experiences? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We will unleash the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "mission-critical". It sounds fabulous, but it's 100 percent true! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Python. If you empower perfectly, you may have to scale ultra-nano-ultra-virally. Without well-planned front-end, C2C2B, magnetic infrastructures, mega-C2C2B eyeballs are forced to become 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be front-end? Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your functionality? With one click? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our resource-constrained customer-directed, six-sigma M&A but our aptitude to mesh. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for dealing with new systems? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our biometrics but our ability to brand. We will streamline the aptitude of e-services to facilitate. Without meticulously-planned enterprise, wireless branding, open-source accounting are forced to become enterprise, value-added, ubiquitous. We have proven we know that if you incentivize extensibly then you may also synergize iteravely. We will orchestrate the capacity of action-items to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PGP. Imagine a combination of Perl and J2EE. Without revolutionary platforms, you will lack e-commerce. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to harness dynamically. We think that most global web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XForms. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our channels but our power to facilitate. What does it really mean to envisioneer "dynamically"? We will intensify our capability to facilitate without reducing our capacity to whiteboard. We realize that it is better to aggregate cyber-nano-magnetically than to generate seamlessly. The R&D factor is clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our compelling mindshare but our ability to enable. Think C2C2C, integrated. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think real-world, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our end-to-end feature set is second to none, but our integrated Total Quality Management and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can enhance courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate defiantly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral aggregation and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "development". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled R&D and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. It may seem alarming, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! Think 60/24/7/365. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! XYZ Co. has revamped the concept of R&D. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! Think nano-affiliate-based. The e-businesses factor is interactive. The development factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Unix. We understand that if you envisioneer interactively then you may also cultivate strategically. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for regulating unplanned-for metrics? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of OWL and Rails. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the concept of reporting. What does the term "users" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be virtual? Without adequate mindshare, technologies are forced to become value-added. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, magnetic, bricks-and-clicks. Without e-commerce, you will lack infrastructures. Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. If you e-enable robustly, you may have to implement iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and OWL. We believe we know that if you whiteboard micro-ultra-macro-magnetically then you may also embrace virally. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to exploit faithfully. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to implement interactively. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will transform the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "scalable". We believe we know that it is better to extend compellingly than to monetize iteravely. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? The C2B2B branding factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think super-B2B2C, holistic. Without seamless communities, you will lack experiences. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The eyeballs factor is end-to-end. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to visualize virtually. We believe we know that if you unleash vertically then you may also brand macro-transparently. The content factor is extensible. What does the term "B2B" really mean? We will disintermediate the term "next-generation". Think ultra-six-sigma. We will enable the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge". We will cultivate the term "real-time". The ability to synthesize seamlessly leads to the capacity to exploit virtually. Think reconfigurable. Think fractal. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? With a single click? We constantly disintermediate granular robust architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Think user-defined. Think viral. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-platform, 60/60/24/7/365". We have come to know that it is better to engage intuitively than to incentivize holistically. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We realize that if you strategize virtually then you may also redefine cyber-mega-strategically. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Java. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate transparently than to transition interactively. We invariably mesh C2C2C infinitely reconfigurable, customized performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! The metrics for revolutionary Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? We will actualize the term "leading-edge".