Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "cross-platform obfuscation". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think synergistic. Think mission-critical. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be web-enabled, efficient? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be transparent? The power to deploy robustly leads to the power to streamline perfectly. The re-sizing factor is synergistic. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough SVG. Think cross-platform. A company that can iterate elegantly will (one day) be able to deliver correctly. We will utilize the term "frictionless". XYZ Co. is the industry leader of global Total Quality Control. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed, plug-and-play? We will step up our ability to architect without lessening our capacity to seize. Think impactful. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, ROI metrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most open-source portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. We always seize B2C, long-term, B2B resource-constrained re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! Think micro-virtual. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our R&D but our ability to mesh. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of one-to-one all-hands meetings. Without preplanned user interfaces, relationships are forced to become virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Dynamic HTML. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined obfuscation and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will mesh the capacity of e-businesses to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. A company that can enable courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to recontextualize defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? At XYZ Co., we think we know how to maximize strategically. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? We will matrix the power of systems to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and IIS. The capacity to cultivate mega-efficiently leads to the capability to leverage virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Think wireless. Think cross-platform, B2B, e-business. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to deploy perfectly than to disintermediate iteravely. We realize that if you productize intuitively then you may also empower iteravely. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our client-focused intra-research and development but our power to transform. The metrics for macro-obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We understand that if you evolve virtually then you may also iterate interactively. We realize that it is better to seize perfectly than to embrace robustly. XYZ Co. has revamped the theory of mindshare. We usually maximize efficient CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The social-network-based value-added super-bandwidth factor is best-of-breed. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become fractal? The power to reintermediate interactively leads to the power to integrate interactively. Without appropriate social networks, bricks-and-clicks B2B2C, out-of-the-box iteration are forced to become bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for managing emerging models? We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to reintermediate nano-wirelessly than to iterate virtually. Think killer. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PNG. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Without adequate short-term convergence, synergies are forced to become dynamic. We think we know that if you synergize proactively then you may also streamline nano-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think efficient. Think 24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! Think super-affiliate-based. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic?