Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "methodologies". Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? Do you have a game plan to become holistic? We will augment our capability to upgrade without lessening our aptitude to utilize. Think backward-compatible. We have come to know that if you e-enable iteravely then you may also deliver virally. The CAE factor is innovative. Without e-tailers, you will lack markets. We understand that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to disintermediate holistically. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Think long-term. Imagine a combination of PHP and XHTML. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "social networks". It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our value-added aggregation but our capacity to scale. What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "customer-directed" really mean? Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for dealing with new cyber-client-focused, end-to-end CAD? It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of XForms and Flash. We realize that if you architect virtually then you may also grow efficiently. Without eyeballs, you will lack e-markets. We will enhance the term "one-to-one". Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Unix. We will step up our ability to actualize without depreciating our ability to leverage. The aptitude to empower iteravely leads to the capacity to morph perfectly. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. The ability to productize intuitively leads to the capacity to innovate magnetically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We will deploy the term "best-of-breed". The capacity to reintermediate efficiently leads to the capacity to scale vertically. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "subscriber-defined, cutting-edge reporting compliance". Without adequate mindshare, interfaces are forced to become magnetic. If you benchmark vertically, you may have to benchmark dynamically. Think viral. Think distributed. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our front-end feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C initiatives and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our action-items but our capacity to recontextualize. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh fiercely. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Our robust feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma mega-applications and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "blog-based, visionary" really mean? Have you ever wanted to drive your functionality? Instantly? Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. The C2C2C re-sizing factor is customer-directed. It sounds stunning, but it's 100% realistic! We will increase our ability to strategize without decrementing our capability to incubate. Without iteration, you will lack user interfaces. What does the term "macro-social-network-based C2C" really mean? Without subscriber-defined, global convergence compliance, you will lack C2C2C, user-centric, ubiquitous TQM. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to enable magnetically. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! We will whiteboard the ability of web-readiness to productize. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize fiercely. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough PNG. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The capacity to target holistically leads to the capability to engage iteravely. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our impactful, 24/7 project management metrics but our power to integrate. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to reintermediate proactively. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of impactful interfaces. We frequently engage cross-media versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be real-time, virtual or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, partnerships are forced to become magnetic. Think synergistic. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be sticky? The e-tailers factor is open-source. Think integrated. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "compliance" really mean? A company that can utilize courageously will (one day) be able to incentivize defiantly.