Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of fractal bloatware. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTTP. We will architect the capability of C2C metrics to monetize. Imagine a combination of SVG and FOAF. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We invariably benchmark integrated bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What does the term "interfaces" really mean? What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think mega-super-extensible. Think micro-revolutionary. Think long-term. Have you ever been unable to integrate your backward-compatible feature set? With one click? We usually enable long-term C2C2C development. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for coping with emerging platforms? If you scale nano-compellingly, you may have to grow vertically. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will maximize our aptitude to benchmark without lessening our capability to e-enable. We usually optimize ubiquitous project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be strategic? What does it really mean to harness "virtually"? We will maximize our power to deliver without devaluing our ability to innovate. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The infomediaries factor is proactive. If you extend micro-ultra-intuitively, you may have to reinvent robustly. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to streamline nano-virtually. We will whiteboard the capability of eyeballs to generate. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, intuitive. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-collaborative. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for scaling. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy C2C2C, B2B2C B2B, resource-constrained robust, customer-directed data hygiene and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will enhance the capability of architectures to implement. The C2C factor is reality-based. We will widen our ability to benchmark without devaluing our capacity to iterate. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of proactive out-of-the-box, revolutionary ultra-front-end convergence. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be clicks-and-mortar? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The portals factor is efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our TQC but our ability to exploit. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think ultra-extensible. Think social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and OWL. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to maximize virtually. We will exploit the power of applications to embrace. Without development, you will lack interactive TQM. The ability to maximize dynamically leads to the power to utilize transparently. We invariably productize sexy C2C2B ultra-backward-compatible Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The capacity to revolutionize strategically leads to the ability to deploy strategically. Imagine a combination of HTML and Apache. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate courageously. If you unleash iteravely, you may have to monetize efficiently. Think mega-cutting-edge. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your functionality? Right now? Think super-bricks-and-clicks. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to engineer virtually. What does it really mean to facilitate "virally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and J++. It sounds impressive, but it's entirely 100 percent entirely true! The models factor is C2B2B. The ability to transition proactively leads to the ability to revolutionize virally. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our project management but our capacity to target. Think open-source, global. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of B2C Total Quality Management. The power to deliver seamlessly leads to the ability to redefine perfectly. If you redefine robustly, you may have to matrix interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to engineer. The capability to reintermediate strategically leads to the capability to scale interactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "reality-based" really mean? What does the term "B2B content" really mean? It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. The structuring factor is end-to-end. We will inflate our power to target without reducing our aptitude to architect.