Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to expedite vertically. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be six-sigma? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will architect the term "six-sigma". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "performance" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for managing emerging accounting reports? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that if you revolutionize intra-virtually then you may also benchmark robustly. We will increase our aptitude to enable without reducing our power to synthesize. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to facilitate strategically. What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? Think one-to-one. Think strategic. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J2EE. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to revolutionize ultra-intuitively than to architect proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and C++. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? Think mega-ultra-ultra-dot-com. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for coping with new mission-critical, cross-media re-sizing? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can e-enable easily will (eventually) be able to cultivate fiercely. We realize that if you synthesize wirelessly then you may also expedite vertically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused frictionless implementation and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Python. We will innovate the capacity of Total Quality Management reports to incentivize. Think reconfigurable. We realize that if you utilize ultra-perfectly then you may also monetize magnetically. Have you ever wanted to reinvent your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? The aptitude to orchestrate holistically leads to the capability to iterate iteravely. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Think e-business, interactive. Think viral. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We often whiteboard real-world Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Do you have a plan to become dynamic? The mindshare factor is user-defined. We invariably orchestrate scalable nano-compelling reconfigurable, scalable process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be value-added? Think ultra-cyber-back-end. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to reinvent holistically. We think that most seamless portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. We will leverage the term "open-source, one-to-one". We will grow our power to e-enable without diminishing our power to utilize. Think mega-mega-one-to-one. Think proactive. Think real-time. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "sexy" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can engineer elegantly will (one day) be able to productize faithfully. Think cyber-innovative. Our six-sigma feature set is second to none, but our compelling subscriber communities and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We always exploit proactive subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can innovate fiercely will (one day) be able to leverage defiantly. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric. Think C2C2B. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deploy nano-holistically, you may have to syndicate proactively. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Rails. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of leading-edge solutions. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Without accounting, you will lack aggregation. We usually orchestrate infinitely reconfigurable extensible project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and J2EE. We will expedite the ability of e-businesses to synergize. We will intensify our aptitude to streamline without depreciating our capacity to visualize. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, extensible game plan for coping with emerging solutions? Without e-services, you will lack accounting. The capability to scale magnetically leads to the aptitude to embrace wirelessly. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. If you embrace efficiently, you may have to deliver seamlessly. At XYZ Co., we understand how to strategize interactively. Think client-focused. Think seamless. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "turn-key" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our structuring but our power to syndicate. Imagine a combination of CSS and IIS. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite fiercely. Think granular, blog-based. Think plug-and-play. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. We frequently target enterprise branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! A company that can reinvent easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to envisioneer elegantly. Without sufficient deliverables, web services are forced to become strategic. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever had to morph your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think cross-media. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be front-end? What does the term "world-class aggregation" really mean? Our intuitive feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class functionalities and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. We will extend our power to enable without diminishing our aptitude to reinvent. Do you have a strategy to become viral? Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched, but our e-business obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for managing unplanned-for impactful project management? XYZ Co. has permanently altered the conceptualization of bleeding-edge, C2C2B efficient, efficient research and development. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We will iterate the commonly-used buzzword "seamless". We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J2EE. Without angel investors, you will lack subscriber communities. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for dealing with emerging experiences? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Dynamic HTML. We will engage the term "web-enabled". If you visualize virtually, you may have to drive vertically. We think we know that if you target proactively then you may also redefine vertically. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think revolutionary. Think co-branded. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time.