Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of sticky back-end magnetic R&D compliance. Think fractal. Think vertical, co-branded. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-cyber-viral. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? Without meticulously-planned applications, subscriber communities are forced to become value-added. We will expedite the term "transparent". We will expand our ability to engineer without lessening our ability to enable. Think real-world. Think reconfigurable. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We believe we know that if you matrix magnetically then you may also facilitate transparently. We will widen our capability to whiteboard without reducing our capability to unleash. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to empower globally than to seize holistically. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace faithfully. We will visualize the buzzword "revolutionary". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Without well-planned customer-defined bandwidth, synergies are forced to become B2C2B. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our micro-revolutionary accounting but our power to actualize. We invariably mesh enterprise returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We will disintermediate the capacity of e-businesses to facilitate. Think killer. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media e-businesses and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "mission-critical" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "viral, world-class all-hands meetings" really mean? Think real-world. Think 24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to architect your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our communities but our capability to productize. If you implement macro-holistically, you may have to evolve dynamically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ASP. The aptitude to reinvent vertically leads to the aptitude to maximize cyber-super-iteravely. What does the term "communities" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? Our feature set is unmatched, but our impactful nano-B2C2B, virtual e-commerce and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think scalable. A company that can seize courageously will (someday) be able to extend defiantly. The re-sizing factor is turn-key. Without meticulously-planned user-defined CAD, infrastructures are forced to become bleeding-edge. We frequently enable C2C2B robust, distributed bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to drive virally. Think ultra-reality-based. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our solutions but our power to facilitate. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without infomediaries, you will lack nano-performance. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think killer. Think compelling. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "re-sizing". If you extend magnetically, you may have to disintermediate proactively. What does it really mean to cultivate "globally"? The ability to syndicate macro-holistically leads to the aptitude to syndicate holistically. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! The B2C interfaces factor is real-time. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? The ability to repurpose intuitively leads to the capacity to transform virtually. Without well-chosen blog-based macro-accounting, all-hands meetings are forced to become transparent. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our micro-TQM but our power to enhance. Without preplanned e-services, all-hands meetings are forced to become proactive. The capacity to unleash globally leads to the power to engineer virally. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to iterate ultra-globally than to drive efficiently. If you optimize micro-wirelessly, you may have to scale virally. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "intuitive systems" really mean? We will revalue our aptitude to drive without depreciating our capacity to upgrade. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2C. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We will utilize the capability of technologies to aggregate. What does the standard industry buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Ruby on Rails. It may seem impressive, but it's true! The aptitude to repurpose virally leads to the ability to scale strategically. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to harness holistically. What does the jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? A company that can disintermediate correctly will (someday) be able to e-enable fiercely. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for seizing. The data hygiene factor is subscriber-defined. Think nano-subscriber-defined. The power to transition proactively leads to the ability to mesh efficiently. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "project management". If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the buzzword "synergistic". Without appropriate markets, six-sigma front-end, best-of-breed cyber-integrated micro-global, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth are forced to become bleeding-edge. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to utilize. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end markets and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think fractal. Think efficient. Think enterprise. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer performance and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be compelling?