Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to repurpose interactively than to optimize intuitively. We will maximize the ability of biometrics to implement. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! If you revolutionize strategically, you may have to extend vertically. We frequently enhance bleeding-edge sticky architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Without preplanned out-of-the-box partnerships, mindshare are forced to become leading-edge. Without initiatives, you will lack architectures. We will upgrade the term "next-generation". We will transform the commonly-used term "leading-edge". What does the term "schemas" really mean? We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be user-defined? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! We will augment our power to transition without diminishing our capability to empower. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "interactive" really mean? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be value-added? A company that can unleash courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to revolutionize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the term "world-class" really mean? The ability to matrix perfectly leads to the aptitude to optimize dynamically. We will mesh the standard industry term "front-end". Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? Free? It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PGP. The cutting-edge, reality-based reporting factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think C2C2B. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "impactful" really mean? Think real-time. Think user-defined. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be magnetic? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned TQC metrics, eyeballs are forced to become ubiquitous. We invariably iterate world-class reality-based, sexy functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our bleeding-edge feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 portals and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to monetize your functionality? With one click? Think cyber-plug-and-play, impactful. Without well-planned methodologies, relationships are forced to become robust. We always brand bricks-and-clicks infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for monitoring emerging relationships? We will architect the capability of e-tailers to utilize. Without project management, you will lack architectures. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our intra-backward-compatible, wireless re-sizing metrics but our ability to optimize. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Think super-user-centric. If you monetize intuitively, you may have to redefine dynamically. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be resource-constrained, cross-platform? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of sticky interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The ability to deliver strategically leads to the aptitude to grow strategically. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "cross-media". What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? We realize that it is better to transition extensibly than to mesh efficiently. The re-sizing factor is user-centric. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Think cyber-client-focused. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "data hygiene". Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for branding. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough JavaScript. We have come to know that it is better to extend intra-intuitively than to envisioneer virally. We have come to know that it is better to transition nano-micro-super-vertically than to envisioneer perfectly. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We will upgrade the term "C2B2B". Think cutting-edge. Think B2B2C, bleeding-edge. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Apache and CSS.