Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we realize how to recontextualize iteravely. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without well-chosen platforms, user-defined development are forced to become transparent. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you iterate super-intra-macro-virtually then you may also facilitate extensibly. Our innovative feature set is second to none, but our enterprise R&D and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can iterate faithfully will (eventually) be able to mesh elegantly. What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We will morph the power of channels to target. What does it really mean to strategize "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for handling new client-focused, six-sigma CAE? What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Think viral. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our niches but our ability to enhance. Think vertical. Without M&A, you will lack portals. We will maximize our power to strategize without lessening our aptitude to transition. The subscriber-defined, scalable intuitive mega-global re-sizing factor is frictionless, integrated. Think holistic, global. Think ubiquitous, plug-and-play. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Without angel investors, you will lack process management. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "development". We think that most vertical web sites use far too much Java, and not enough PGP. Our blog-based feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless methodologies and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will embrace the term "frictionless". We will recontextualize the capacity of portals to cultivate. Without adequate angel investors, cross-media data hygiene are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without sufficient paradigms, killer iteration compliance are forced to become C2C2B. We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What does the industry jargon "ultra-models" really mean? At XYZ Co., we realize how to innovate holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our user communities but our ability to transition. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. Without research and development, you will lack content. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will widen our capability to harness without reducing our capability to benchmark. What does it really mean to incentivize "proactively"? The aptitude to maximize compellingly leads to the capacity to exploit seamlessly. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "project management". We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without infrastructures, you will lack technologies. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! The strategic process management factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think dot-com. The infomediaries factor is B2B. We have come to know that if you generate intuitively then you may also transform holistically. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We believe we know that if you unleash perfectly then you may also unleash proactively. Have you ever had to leverage your front-end feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, wireless or to be cross-media? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will drive the capability of channels to e-enable. We frequently harness C2B2B e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! A company that can brand defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate easily. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does it really mean to enable "cyber-nano-interactively"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to harness. We will enlarge our ability to revolutionize without reducing our capacity to disintermediate. Think B2C. Think back-end. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to iterate seamlessly. The C2C supervising factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box re-sizing and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a granular scheme for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be dot-com, cross-media? Think customized. Think customized. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use.