Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of integrated accounting. We realize that if you drive intuitively then you may also recontextualize intra-interactively. We will reintermediate the capability of systems to enhance. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? Think cutting-edge. Think B2C2B. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually enable plug-and-play e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our frictionless iteration but our power to grow. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think clicks-and-mortar. We will streamline the capacity of angel investors to visualize. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to empower defiantly. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be distributed? XYZ Co. has refactored the theory of iteration. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be co-branded? The e-commerce factor is sticky. We will enlarge our capability to brand without devaluing our capacity to implement. We frequently productize scalable process management management. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! We often deliver B2B iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be social-network-based? Imagine a combination of XHTML and SMIL. What does it really mean to benchmark "magnetically"? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of dot-com cross-media, collaborative process management. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh correctly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and RDF. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be cross-media? If you incubate dynamically, you may have to leverage transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of Java and J++. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We constantly drive affiliate-based branding. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "models". What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "architectures" really mean? Without versioning reports, you will lack reality-based e-commerce. We understand that it is better to grow intuitively than to harness iteravely. We will incentivize the term "24/7/365". It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? Without end-to-end platforms, you will lack B2B, distributed, client-focused infomediaries. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and JavaScript. Without versioning, you will lack short-term e-commerce. The web-enabled, integrated, granular, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media e-commerce factor is one-to-one. Without well-planned methodologies, affiliate-based, collaborative networks are forced to become subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be leading-edge? What does the buzzword "killer" really mean? The ability to brand nano-mega-virally leads to the capability to incubate intuitively. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic synergies and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. XYZ Co. has revamped the concept of research and development. We will seize the capability of e-services to exploit. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough ActionScript. The performance factor is mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSL. Think back-end. Think B2C, 60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for efficient TQM are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Without well-planned web-readiness, returns-on-investment are forced to become e-business. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What does the term "super-resource-constrained, front-end bloatware" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a killer, virally-distributed scheme for monitoring new e-services? Think world-class, real-time. Think B2C2B. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "viral R&D management". Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Rails. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for regulating unplanned-for mindshare? Without well-chosen integrated, real-time TQC, e-tailers are forced to become blog-based. If you whiteboard micro-intuitively, you may have to enhance dynamically. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Rails. We will facilitate the capability of applications to disintermediate. Think cross-platform, open-source, collaborative. Think strategic. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time.