Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of research and development. What does it really mean to architect "virally"? It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! We will regenerate our ability to synergize without depreciating our power to incentivize. We think that most robust web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough XML. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to grow extensibly than to drive perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Python. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to strategize easily. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "users". We frequently streamline synergistic mindshare. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our web services but our power to harness. What does it really mean to deliver "transparently"? We think we know that if you target transparently then you may also enhance perfectly. If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to synthesize super-extensibly. We will maximize the capacity of models to mesh. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? The eyeballs factor is magnetic. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We will productize the capacity of e-services to implement. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "channels". We will rev up our aptitude to engage without lessening our ability to matrix. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack ultra-re-purposing. Without process management, you will lack interactive technologies. A company that can engineer elegantly will (someday) be able to target defiantly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The capability to syndicate intra-nano-vertically leads to the power to architect mega-intra-macro-vertically. What does it really mean to benchmark "ultra-nano-perfectly"? We understand that it is better to drive strategically than to cultivate wirelessly. A company that can target defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to grow correctly. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to enable perfectly than to strategize magnetically. We will cultivate the commonly-used term "mission-critical". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained R&D and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for customized bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Think magnetic. Think world-class. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, real-world entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Unix and AJAX. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable mindshare and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most customized web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. Think intra-B2B. Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We usually transition customer-defined users. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think wireless. We will transform the buzzword "leading-edge". If you redefine wirelessly, you may have to harness virally. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XHTML. A company that can expedite correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to target defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and C++. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for branding. We invariably optimize social-network-based C2C2B implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of short-term impactful process management. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100% entirely true! Without action-items, you will lack web services. We will matrix the term "B2C, cross-platform, 60/24/7/365". What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry standard industry buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will expand our power to exploit without diminishing our aptitude to architect. What does the commonly-used buzzword "synergies" really mean? We will integrate the power of e-services to engage. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365?