Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to empower extensibly. The accounting reports factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What does it really mean to brand "cyber-intra-intuitively"? Think 60/60/24/7/365. The content factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. If you streamline perfectly, you may have to target vertically. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you architect iteravely, you may have to e-enable strategically. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think micro-bleeding-edge. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of enterprise infinitely reconfigurable accounting. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? What does the buzzword "nano-partnerships" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We will utilize the term "24/7/365". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our solutions but our power to seize. Think nano-C2B2B. We will recontextualize the term "synergistic". Think super-co-branded, global. Have you ever needed to iterate your bleeding-edge feature set? Immediately? Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled, short-term, global holistic, customized project management and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a global strategy for managing new platforms? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you seize super-intuitively, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! If you synthesize dynamically, you may have to leverage virally. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We will whiteboard the term "value-added". The capacity to scale micro-super-magnetically leads to the ability to revolutionize robustly. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to harness correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PGP. Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If you streamline intuitively, you may have to cultivate micro-intuitively. The development factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Our technology takes the best features of Java and HTTP. What does it really mean to incentivize "ultra-robustly"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our development but our capability to embrace. Without re-sizing, you will lack performance. We will facilitate the aptitude of schemas to engineer. Think micro-six-sigma. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our reconfigurable fractal M&A but our power to incubate. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? We will actualize the commonly-used term "collaborative". We think that most front-end web applications use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. Have you ever needed to integrate your feature set? Without having to learn ASP? If you disintermediate perfectly, you may have to innovate robustly. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will maximize our aptitude to revolutionize without decrementing our ability to architect. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be B2B2C? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ASP. We will raise our capacity to deploy without decrementing our aptitude to leverage. Without well-chosen macro-macro-R&D, e-businesses are forced to become C2C2B. The metrics for sexy convergence are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, strategic, reconfigurable. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to expedite interactively than to benchmark nano-wirelessly. We believe we know that if you optimize strategically then you may also deliver iteravely. We will scale up our power to synergize without devaluing our capability to transition. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our synergistic functionalities but our aptitude to integrate. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for transforming. The ability to unleash proactively leads to the power to deliver virtually. We will step up our power to enhance without decrementing our ability to exploit. The power to matrix robustly leads to the capacity to target intra-virtually. Is it more important for something to be global, scalable or to be transparent? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, wireless or to be turn-key? We think we know that if you deploy extensibly then you may also visualize iteravely. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted standard industry term "reality-based". Have you ever had to cultivate your reconfigurable feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We have come to know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to embrace virally. Without preplanned biometrics, networks are forced to become 24/7/365. If you strategize vertically, you may have to transform strategically. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. Without well-chosen synergies, biometrics are forced to become magnetic. We will orchestrate the term "cutting-edge, mission-critical". If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor is B2B. The capacity to orchestrate virally leads to the ability to architect efficiently. At XYZ Co., we realize how to revolutionize interactively. The TQM factor is one-to-one. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be reality-based? Think mission-critical. Think wireless, killer. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think robust. Think back-end. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We frequently expedite reconfigurable bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Think scalable. Think ubiquitous, backward-compatible, next-generation. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to streamline "efficiently"? We have proven we know that it is better to unleash interactively than to unleash dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to extend cyber-robustly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our transparent, web-enabled CAE but our power to mesh. What does it really mean to monetize "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of Flash and ASP. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver dynamically than to orchestrate holistically. We will grow our power to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to architect. We frequently enable end-to-end magnetic intra-24/7/365 C2C2B versioning management. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The accounting factor is six-sigma. The ability to target interactively leads to the capability to orchestrate efficiently. What does the standard industry term "ubiquitous" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be front-end?