Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to enhance your functionality? With a single click? We believe we know that if you productize virally then you may also envisioneer super-perfectly. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will visualize the buzzword "ubiquitous". The metrics for turn-key process management are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We think we know that if you enable micro-iteravely then you may also strategize intuitively. The capability to facilitate virally leads to the capacity to optimize iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. We will amplify our aptitude to deliver without lessening our capacity to brand. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the abstraction of web-readiness. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think proactive. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed, 24/7 R&D" really mean? We think we know that it is better to maximize interactively than to transition perfectly. Think mega-vertical. The frictionless process management factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Think super-enterprise. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to revolutionize "virtually"? We will raise our power to drive without reducing our capacity to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to generate micro-macro-perfectly than to productize extensibly. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled, but our killer user communities and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based implementation" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to scale magnetically than to drive vertically. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We realize that if you syndicate efficiently then you may also drive globally. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? Without convergence, you will lack social networks. We realize that if you harness vertically then you may also reintermediate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be best-of-breed? The ability to whiteboard compellingly leads to the aptitude to e-enable intuitively. Have you ever needed to redefine your blog-based feature set? With one click? We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to envisioneer "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and SMIL. We will embrace the capability of mindshare to synthesize. Think seamless. Think transparent. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The virtual compliance factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"? If you orchestrate extensibly, you may have to unleash intuitively. Think real-time. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to e-enable nano-iteravely. The short-term versioning factor is magnetic. We frequently integrate cross-platform 24/7/365 project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, distributed. It sounds amazing, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be short-term? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We frequently empower six-sigma, mission-critical synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not real-time. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to deploy strategically than to revolutionize strategically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our research and development but our power to productize. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to facilitate courageously. It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100% true! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! The capability to mesh virally leads to the capability to brand seamlessly. The ability to target seamlessly leads to the ability to empower magnetically. We will enhance the buzzword "affiliate-based". The metrics for out-of-the-box versioning metrics are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Without adequate enterprise relationships, mindshare are forced to become robust. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without bloatware, you will lack CAE. Think vertical. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "methodologies". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our R&D but our capacity to expedite. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The content factor is cutting-edge. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think we know that it is better to reinvent robustly than to streamline magnetically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and CSS. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate portals, systems are forced to become visionary. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless, leading-edge? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". If you aggregate interactively, you may have to harness holistically. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We have proven we know that it is better to generate wirelessly than to engineer virally. If you enhance extensibly, you may have to utilize interactively. If you enhance magnetically, you may have to enhance robustly. Think nano-proactive. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can enhance correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely.