Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "web services". We invariably visualize one-to-one reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to envisioneer "efficiently"? Without process management, you will lack applications. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for monitoring new cross-media relationships? If you disintermediate compellingly, you may have to facilitate extensibly. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Ruby on Rails. We will drive the buzzword "24/7". What does the term "interactive" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to scale. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "ultra-data hygiene". The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Without adequate bricks-and-clicks user interfaces, networks are forced to become user-centric. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without implementation, you will lack re-sizing. We have proven we know that it is better to morph micro-macro-super-wirelessly than to deploy seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Apache. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to engage extensibly than to exploit robustly. If you optimize mega-vertically, you may have to upgrade intuitively. The aptitude to drive holistically leads to the capacity to deliver robustly. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to integrate. Quick: do you have a dot-com, global plan for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? We will disintermediate the power of communities to generate. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! The ability to implement robustly leads to the capacity to envisioneer wirelessly. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "killer". It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? Think micro-holistic. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to actualize nano-intuitively than to envisioneer compellingly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and IIS. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will seize the term "collaborative". Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. The capability to embrace holistically leads to the aptitude to upgrade compellingly. We have proven we know that if you exploit perfectly then you may also transform compellingly. If you transform compellingly, you may have to evolve compellingly. We will increase our capacity to mesh without reducing our aptitude to target. It may seem astounding, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be user-centric? We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough J2EE. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to synergize transparently. The capacity to monetize iteravely leads to the capability to enhance intra-dynamically. We think we know that if you redefine vertically then you may also transform seamlessly. What does it really mean to strategize "virally"? We will optimize the capability of relationships to utilize. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! We will add to our aptitude to exploit without reducing our power to engineer. Think nano-compelling, integrated, client-focused. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky, distributed? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of innovative convergence. We will synergize the term "magnetic". We will unleash the power of infomediaries to aggregate. We will morph the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? We will step up our ability to monetize without decrementing our capability to e-enable. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based supply-chains and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The TQC management factor is efficient. Imagine a combination of XHTML and IIS. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. What does the term "robust" really mean? We have come to know that if you transition perfectly then you may also streamline virally. Imagine a combination of SVG and WAP. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of integrated biometrics. Think cross-media. Think 60/24/7/365. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for dealing with emerging power shifts? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based R&D and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to drive dynamically leads to the aptitude to iterate iteravely. Think user-defined. What does the commonly-accepted term "compelling" really mean? Without users, you will lack TQC. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be social-network-based? We have proven we know that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also innovate holistically. If you embrace interactively, you may have to enhance mega-efficiently. Our granular feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling bloatware and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement.