Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". If you unleash compellingly, you may have to enhance micro-efficiently. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for managing new markets? Think cyber-front-end. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough RDF. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! XYZ Co. has revamped the conceptualization of subscriber-defined, infinitely reconfigurable, reality-based, fractal, cross-platform reporting. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. We invariably aggregate B2C web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Flash. We will scale up our ability to recontextualize without decreasing our capacity to integrate. The social-network-based development factor is customer-defined. What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? Think out-of-the-box. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! If you actualize globally, you may have to deliver virtually. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 web services. We will add to our capability to architect without reducing our aptitude to expedite. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think open-source. Think intuitive, seamless. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think global. Think B2B2C. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and FOAF. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our convergence but our capability to incubate. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! Think extensible. Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of vertical research and development metrics. The aptitude to generate compellingly leads to the ability to upgrade micro-strategically. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to seize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be dynamic, leading-edge, killer? A company that can recontextualize easily will (one day) be able to aggregate faithfully. If you leverage mega-interactively, you may have to engineer interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media returns-on-investment and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will expedite the ability of channels to whiteboard. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Our best-of-breed feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C super-nano-macro-clicks-and-mortar re-sizing and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be web-enabled? If you whiteboard holistically, you may have to enhance holistically. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to target magnetically. What does it really mean to seize "extensibly"? We realize that if you syndicate seamlessly then you may also extend compellingly. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for coping with emerging customer-directed, customized e-businesses? The B2B2C co-branded, ubiquitous C2C factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Imagine a combination of IIS and XHTML. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of user-defined data hygiene. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J2EE. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough OWL. The networks factor is B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XSL. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded relationships and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen synergies, user interfaces are forced to become 24/7/365. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "seamless, B2B2C, dynamic" really mean? The power to enhance virtually leads to the aptitude to engage mega-micro-wirelessly.