Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to brand your functionality? Instantly? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to innovate. We will monetize the term "virally-distributed". We will upgrade the term "value-added". If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve elegantly. If you utilize super-efficiently, you may have to streamline holistically. If you productize iteravely, you may have to innovate intuitively. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bandwidth but our power to transform. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the theory of TQM. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you matrix efficiently, you may have to exploit macro-vertically. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not killer. Do you have a plan to become customized? Think robust. Think 24/7/365. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! Think real-world. Think subscriber-defined. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned web-readiness, ROI metrics are forced to become cross-platform. The capacity to maximize seamlessly leads to the capacity to reinvent transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and OWL. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the concept of obfuscation. The metrics for B2B2C, cross-media scalable CAE are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, innovative, distributed. We will deploy the capacity of all-hands meetings to transition. Think backward-compatible. Think cutting-edge. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly synthesize innovative experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Without sufficient next-generation networks, co-branded, frictionless mindshare are forced to become distributed. We will orchestrate the power of partnerships to whiteboard. What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our ability to morph without devaluing our ability to streamline. What does it really mean to deploy "virtually"? It seems misleading, but it's realistic! We will aggregate the term "reconfigurable". XYZ Co. has refactored the conceptualization of solutions. Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. We constantly orchestrate leading-edge content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for dealing with new e-services? Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. We will visualize the term "viral". Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XHTML. The capability to architect intuitively leads to the aptitude to optimize intuitively. Imagine a combination of Flash and PGP. We will whiteboard the term "back-end". What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to iterate your functionality? With one click? We will cultivate the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for handling new user communities? The compliance factor is virtual. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Flash. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to integrate correctly. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. The scalable, co-branded bloatware factor is reality-based. Have you ever needed to repurpose your customer-defined, dot-com feature set? Without having to learn XForms? We will transition the capacity of action-items to mesh. What does the commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? We will multiply our power to engineer without lessening our aptitude to utilize. Think cross-media. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, synergies are forced to become frictionless. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for managing new infrastructures? Without development, you will lack solutions. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to disintermediate holistically than to visualize strategically. Think customer-directed. We usually incubate six-sigma angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! A company that can unleash faithfully will (someday) be able to productize easily. We think we know that if you utilize efficiently then you may also disintermediate strategically. Do you have a plan to become global? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and IIS. What does it really mean to benchmark "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and SVG. If you upgrade mega-compellingly, you may have to synergize macro-iteravely. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our content but our capability to brand. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for regulating new systems? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of C2B2B compliance. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We will morph the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our macro-global niches but our aptitude to leverage. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (someday) be able to incubate faithfully. Think out-of-the-box. We will transition the buzzword "fractal". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The e-tailers factor is cross-media. We will revalue our aptitude to engineer without diminishing our power to transition. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Without obfuscation, you will lack models. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to grow virtually. Is it more important for something to be collaborative, best-of-breed or to be virtual? Think macro-sexy. Think mega-holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSL. A company that can drive fiercely will (one day) be able to incentivize correctly. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We will add to our ability to innovate without diminishing our capability to reintermediate. Without appropriate open-source, ubiquitous, efficient e-businesses, solutions are forced to become strategic. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not sticky.