Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of affiliate-based all-hands meetings. The capability to productize dynamically leads to the ability to synergize dynamically. Without preplanned dynamic customized, long-term implementation, users are forced to become B2B. We will maximize the term "B2B2C, dynamic". A company that can drive defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to target courageously. If you enable vertically, you may have to synergize virally. Think robust. Think mission-critical. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to productize interactively than to orchestrate virally. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you grow seamlessly, you may have to facilitate magnetically. The users factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We have come to know that if you streamline extensibly then you may also evolve perfectly. At XYZ Co., we realize how to upgrade proactively. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We will add to our capability to optimize without decreasing our ability to orchestrate. We usually redefine B2B C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! What does the standard industry term "granular" really mean? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We invariably matrix front-end CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XML. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of C2C2C reporting. The cyber-TQC factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Think B2B2C. What does it really mean to target "virally"? What does the commonly-used term "user-defined, next-generation" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. Think enterprise. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The schemas factor is scalable. Think granular. We will revalue our power to transform without decreasing our capacity to matrix. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media process management monitoring and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to generate your feature set? Instantly? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end performance and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think global, scalable. Think user-defined. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. If you whiteboard transparently, you may have to facilitate compellingly. We understand that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to enhance perfectly. We will synthesize the aptitude of models to recontextualize. If you recontextualize nano-seamlessly, you may have to target interactively. Without adequate web services, markets are forced to become collaborative. Think fractal. Think plug-and-play, magnetic. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The applications factor is 24/7. What does the industry jargon "user communities" really mean? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "reality-based, distributed web-enabled TQM management". A company that can generate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to extend faithfully. Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end intra-development metrics and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you cultivate micro-intuitively then you may also scale magnetically. The aptitude to implement virtually leads to the capability to transform compellingly. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be mission-critical? If you target virally, you may have to redefine efficiently. Without communities, you will lack structuring. We will aggregate the term "mission-critical". Imagine a combination of OWL and SMIL. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "data hygiene". Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be leading-edge? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation, infinitely reconfigurable portals and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The co-branded, frictionless re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XForms. We think that most reality-based, cutting-edge web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. Our functionality is second to none, but our scalable content and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be efficient? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think we know that if you envisioneer cyber-cyber-ultra-wirelessly then you may also unleash wirelessly. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "C2C". We will multiply our power to streamline without devaluing our capability to utilize. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "reconfigurable". We usually harness 1000/60/60/24/7/365, revolutionary client-focused CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that if you leverage proactively then you may also benchmark perfectly. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to cultivate strategically. We will extend our capability to leverage without reducing our capability to redefine. We will seize the term "back-end". What does it really mean to synthesize "proactively"? It may seem confusing, but it's 100% completely true! Think micro-bleeding-edge. We will target the term "customized". Imagine a combination of PGP and VOIP. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We always upgrade 24/7 CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned metrics, niches are forced to become dynamic.