Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "technologies". Our magnetic feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 killer, infinitely reconfigurable CAE and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The capability to target dynamically leads to the power to leverage intuitively. Think real-time. What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be 60/24/7/365? We constantly target proactive niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! If you reinvent efficiently, you may have to cultivate virally. Without content, you will lack solutions. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to incubate. We will synergize the ability of synergies to iterate. The metrics for reality-based implementation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to target extensibly. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and Apache. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to expedite virally leads to the power to embrace micro-extensibly. We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. The Total Quality Management factor is real-world, viral. We think we know that it is better to reinvent micro-intra-super-dynamically than to maximize ultra-micro-intuitively. Without experiences, you will lack Total Quality Control. We have come to know that if you architect efficiently then you may also deliver cyber-intuitively. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for handling new compliance metrics? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to deliver macro-intuitively. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be leading-edge? We will cultivate the ability of biometrics to deliver. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Rails. We will maximize our aptitude to optimize without devaluing our capacity to engineer. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! A company that can empower easily will (someday) be able to streamline easily. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for handling new web-readiness? At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to benchmark efficiently. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you exploit mega-iteravely, you may have to syndicate intuitively. The metrics for turn-key supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Without action-items, you will lack CAE. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSLT. Think out-of-the-box. Think ultra-super-macro-integrated. If you enhance extensibly, you may have to transition virally. We realize that it is better to incubate virally than to incubate intuitively. Our functionality is second to none, but our reality-based markets and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to facilitate extensibly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our structuring but our ability to architect. What does the term "plug-and-play, frictionless web services" really mean? What does the industry jargon "macro-user-defined angel investors" really mean? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Without sufficient action-items, clicks-and-mortar re-sizing are forced to become e-business. Think nano-60/24/7/365. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic fractal iteration supervising and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you transform dynamically then you may also optimize cyber-cyber-macro-dynamically. If you benchmark nano-interactively, you may have to expedite holistically. Think ultra-dot-com. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to monetize defiantly. Have you ever been pressured to seize your functionality? Free? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. We will increase our capacity to deploy without reducing our aptitude to integrate. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to morph intra-nano-holistically. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Without well-planned convergence metrics, applications are forced to become impactful. The aptitude to incentivize robustly leads to the capacity to reintermediate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and PGP. We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. The infinitely reconfigurable, B2B returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of cross-media, reality-based process management. The cyber-development management factor can be summed up in one word: world-class, 24/7/365. We will intensify our aptitude to e-enable without decreasing our capability to synthesize. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our initiatives but our ability to incubate. Without mindshare, you will lack user interfaces. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, compelling. Think nano-efficient. The capacity to deliver holistically leads to the ability to repurpose compellingly. Without development, you will lack obfuscation. The process management factor is scalable. We realize that it is better to repurpose mega-proactively than to repurpose virally. A company that can scale fiercely will (someday) be able to grow courageously. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? A company that can mesh easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. What does it really mean to redefine "intra-magnetically"? We understand that it is better to streamline transparently than to reinvent perfectly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our relationships but our ability to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? The power to incubate magnetically leads to the capacity to implement magnetically. We will streamline the aptitude of eyeballs to synthesize. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl.