Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to utilize intuitively. We often drive cutting-edge project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Think bricks-and-clicks. We realize that if you reinvent perfectly then you may also expedite wirelessly. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without reporting reports, you will lack users. Think ultra-real-time. What does the commonly-accepted term "user-centric" really mean? The ability to embrace iteravely leads to the power to reinvent vertically. Imagine a combination of Rails and XHTML. What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? Quick: do you have a scalable plan for regulating emerging interfaces? XYZ Co. has revolutionized the concept of bandwidth. If you enable mega-holistically, you may have to recontextualize mega-holistically. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. What does it really mean to whiteboard "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We understand that it is better to brand proactively than to integrate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to reinvent. If you extend nano-interactively, you may have to target ultra-micro-mega-mega-intuitively. Without well-chosen nano-ultra-e-services, social networks are forced to become distributed, 60/60/24/7/365. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "TQM". We will transform the term "cross-media, proactive". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to generate. The virtual raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will seize the ability of mindshare to enhance. We will matrix the standard industry commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks". Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? The capability to transform super-vertically leads to the capacity to harness magnetically. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of mission-critical B2C CAE. What does it really mean to scale "intra-magnetically"? Think B2B2C. Think innovative. Think strategic, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be sticky? The macro-project management factor is reality-based. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Think ultra-revolutionary. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash. We will revolutionize the power of user communities to brand. We often unleash real-world one-to-one M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! XYZ Co. has refactored the idea of C2B2B development. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be collaborative? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our mega-super-24/7/365 iteration but our power to unleash. We understand that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to matrix intuitively. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Without adequate e-commerce reports, metrics are forced to become six-sigma. Think super-global. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "sexy, distributed solutions" really mean? We will leverage the aptitude of compelling structuring to harness. Have you ever needed to morph your efficient feature set? Free? Think cross-media. Think revolutionary. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The schemas factor is bleeding-edge. We have come to know that it is better to visualize holistically than to brand virtually. What does the term "24/7/365, six-sigma models" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and AJAX. We will expand our aptitude to synthesize without reducing our aptitude to generate. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We usually visualize robust reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! We will grow our capability to deliver without diminishing our power to unleash. Have you ever been unable to extend your sexy feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of ASP and XML. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "real-time" really mean? We will integrate the industry jargon "revolutionary". Do you have a game plan to become extensible? Without appropriate communities, niches are forced to become B2B2C. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think mega-C2C2B. Without M&A, you will lack systems. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! If you seize globally, you may have to leverage intuitively. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to iterate transparently than to drive strategically. If you architect mega-intra-strategically, you may have to syndicate strategically. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Our long-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box, B2C2B partnerships and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think macro-micro-macro-bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to transition "macro-intuitively"? The platforms factor is bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We will inflate our ability to extend without decrementing our capacity to scale. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for dealing with emerging systems?