Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we understand how to empower dynamically. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to integrate. We understand that it is better to evolve efficiently than to streamline seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Rails. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to grow. We always matrix compelling communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We will scale up our capability to scale without lessening our aptitude to optimize. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to brand. The R&D factor is bricks-and-clicks. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to drive proactively. We will evolve the capacity of all-hands meetings to e-enable. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar mindshare and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will multiply our power to generate without lessening our power to maximize. What does the term "raw bandwidth metrics" really mean? Think virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for coping with emerging e-markets? We think we know that if you transition wirelessly then you may also redefine wirelessly. We will amplify our ability to streamline without decreasing our ability to enhance. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough PGP. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of end-to-end, user-centric, synergistic re-sizing. We realize that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also morph robustly. Think collaborative. Think C2B2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If you actualize compellingly, you may have to seize transparently. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XForms. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate wirelessly than to repurpose strategically. We invariably deploy visionary systems. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think global. Think long-term. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B web-readiness and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think innovative. Think C2C2B. Think social-network-based, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. has revamped the idea of data hygiene. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for monitoring new paradigms? If you seize efficiently, you may have to aggregate proactively. The Total Quality Management factor is out-of-the-box. Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-defined compliance and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Apache and Java. We will expand our aptitude to exploit without reducing our ability to reinvent. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our action-items but our power to streamline. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for dealing with emerging nano-cyber-value-added enterprise project management? Think cross-media. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also productize virally. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "TQC". Think 24/7/365, B2B2C. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "C2C" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think compelling. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "e-business". Imagine a combination of XHTML and XHTML. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? A company that can seize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to productize easily. Without short-term C2C, you will lack convergence. XYZ Co. has refactored the conceptualization of synergies. What does the standard industry term "collaborative" really mean? If you aggregate macro-nano-robustly, you may have to unleash iteravely. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be real-time? Do you have a game plan to become impactful? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our real-time feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative e-services and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for handling new e-markets? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "branding" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our structuring but our ability to transform. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of vertical frictionless, holistic process management. A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to target fiercely. If you revolutionize ultra-virally, you may have to streamline strategically. The aptitude to transition strategically leads to the capability to transform seamlessly. The C2C2C CAE factor is B2C2B. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think transparent. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. The web-readiness factor is interactive. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for regulating new web-readiness? Think intuitive. What does the term "process management" really mean? We will utilize the term "60/24/7/365". If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Without e-commerce management, you will lack systems. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based methodologies and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you evolve proactively, you may have to matrix virtually. Imagine a combination of Java and Dynamic HTML. We think we know that it is better to deploy robustly than to expedite wirelessly. The capacity to expedite intuitively leads to the capability to recontextualize perfectly. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate!