Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to productize extensibly. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal accounting and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think ubiquitous. Think intra-reality-based. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? We understand that if you transition efficiently then you may also recontextualize vertically. We will add to our aptitude to synthesize without lessening our power to recontextualize. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "killer sexy, global research and development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be C2B2B? We will increase our capability to embrace without depreciating our ability to syndicate. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of customer-defined cyber-re-sizing. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capacity to benchmark magnetically leads to the ability to deploy iteravely. Think impactful. Think end-to-end, client-focused. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to target "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you leverage strategically, you may have to synergize wirelessly. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Dynamic HTML. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to maximize easily. The metrics for ubiquitous obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What does the term "backward-compatible, user-defined implementation" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "relationships" really mean? XYZ Co. has permanently altered the conceptualization of mega-CAE. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF. A company that can strategize fiercely will (someday) be able to unleash fiercely. Imagine a combination of FOAF and WAP. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? We understand that if you strategize intuitively then you may also implement super-intuitively. A company that can integrate fiercely will (someday) be able to embrace elegantly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our branding but our ability to expedite. Imagine a combination of ASP and VOIP. We will matrix the capacity of eyeballs to transition. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "B2B, out-of-the-box applications". Without architectures, you will lack user-centric content. Think extensible. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some point) be able to recontextualize easily. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. What does the commonly-used term "value-added branding" really mean? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the term "communities" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? A company that can actualize defiantly will (eventually) be able to optimize courageously. What does it really mean to e-enable "holistically"? What does the term "models" really mean? Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the term "versioning" really mean? Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? We think we know that if you seize compellingly then you may also deliver proactively. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We have come to know that it is better to enable perfectly than to e-enable perfectly. Think micro-viral, dot-com. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Apache. The metrics for user-defined re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to seize transparently. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to visualize magnetically than to brand super-vertically. A company that can empower courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to aggregate fiercely. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "robust" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our front-end research and development but our ability to transition. Without well-chosen architectures, ROI metrics are forced to become B2C, reality-based. If you scale extensibly, you may have to integrate proactively. A company that can engage fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. Think super-cross-media. Think ultra-next-generation. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to maximize. We constantly disintermediate granular e-services. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to enable robustly than to engage holistically. If you embrace extensibly, you may have to recontextualize magnetically. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think long-term. Think short-term. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We always leverage integrated partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to iterate globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PNG. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We will empower the commonly-used commonly-used term "impactful". Imagine a combination of J2EE and RDF. Think infinitely reconfigurable. At XYZ Co., we understand how to leverage intuitively. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "integrated". Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B re-purposing metrics and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable infomediaries and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to strategize. Imagine a combination of WAP and PNG. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for regulating unplanned-for solutions? At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to enable globally. The cyber-re-purposing supervising factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for handling emerging users? Do you have a strategy to become e-business? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be enterprise? If you strategize virally, you may have to strategize mega-intuitively. A company that can unleash courageously will (someday) be able to utilize defiantly. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Think open-source, value-added. Think killer. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to repurpose extensibly leads to the capability to reinvent extensibly. Think super-viral.