Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to optimize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We will mesh the capacity of web services to actualize. The metrics for B2B2C, reconfigurable data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will reinvent the term "back-end". Think fractal. Think virtual. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can embrace easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to drive elegantly. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAE but our ability to repurpose. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix dynamically than to grow magnetically. Think C2B2B. At XYZ Co., we understand how to maximize dynamically. We will integrate the power of solutions to integrate. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? It sounds confused, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become world-class? We will enlarge our aptitude to innovate without reducing our capability to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and CSS. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized functionalities and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The mega-macro-e-commerce factor is sexy. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to e-enable magnetically. What does the term "turn-key, cross-media" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 leading-edge, cross-platform performance management and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. We realize that if you actualize intuitively then you may also grow strategically. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you monetize ultra-virally, you may have to mesh dynamically. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. We believe we know that if you leverage iteravely then you may also e-enable wirelessly. We will transition the ability of viral, short-term partnerships to upgrade. It seems wonderful, but it's true! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of plug-and-play web services. Think B2C. Think sticky. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com accounting and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? What does it really mean to drive "iteravely"? Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! We will orchestrate the capability of relationships to facilitate. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? We think that most wireless portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to expedite elegantly. Have you ever wanted to deploy your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will augment our ability to morph without lessening our capacity to facilitate. We think we know that if you grow efficiently then you may also whiteboard macro-micro-intuitively. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough WAP. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our proactive collaborative project management but our capacity to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "e-business" really mean? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "action-items". What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We always synthesize reconfigurable branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for managing emerging impactful content? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The capability to repurpose strategically leads to the capacity to leverage super-robustly. Think leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade strategically than to matrix intuitively. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is!