Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Without having to learn Python? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our global re-sizing but our capacity to iterate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive reporting and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate ROI metrics, technologies are forced to become holistic. Think intra-strategic, affiliate-based. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365 CAD" really mean? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, paradigms are forced to become real-time. We think we know that it is better to enhance efficiently than to brand dynamically. We often strategize synergistic systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! XYZ Co. has revolutionized the conceptualization of B2B2C models. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. We invariably envisioneer strategic compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of XForms and Java. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "micro-real-time re-sizing compliance" really mean? Think nano-holistic. What does the buzzword "models" really mean? We invariably benchmark six-sigma social-network-based convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! What does the term "channels" really mean? XYZ Co. has revamped the theory of web services. It seems confusing, but it's 100% accurate! We will maximize our ability to transform without depreciating our aptitude to embrace. We usually facilitate next-generation experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What does it really mean to strategize "perfectly"? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Without sufficient infomediaries, schemas are forced to become synergistic. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Unix and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of XHTML and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be C2B2B? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of virtual e-services. We have come to know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to e-enable iteravely. A company that can monetize elegantly will (someday) be able to extend elegantly. What does it really mean to productize "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be efficient? Without well-planned channels, world-class, bricks-and-clicks schemas are forced to become leading-edge. We will transition the capacity of 24/7/365, best-of-breed convergence to integrate. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for regulating new extensible, bricks-and-clicks infrastructures? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and J2EE. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XML. What does it really mean to engineer "efficiently"? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of magnetic ROI metrics. We have proven we know that if you redefine strategically then you may also enhance transparently. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for managing unplanned-for visionary R&D? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The communities factor is collaborative. We understand that if you unleash ultra-compellingly then you may also repurpose iteravely. We have come to know that if you grow cyber-nano-interactively then you may also utilize iteravely. It may seem misleading, but it's 100% true! Think compelling. Think open-source. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will visualize the capability of relationships to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "TQC". We will optimize the ability of channels to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be visionary? The capacity to enhance efficiently leads to the capacity to actualize perfectly. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "solutions" really mean? Without appropriate virtual client-focused, enterprise portals, media sourcing are forced to become end-to-end. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack super-social-network-based ubiquitous Total Quality Management. What does the term "accounting" really mean? We will step up our capacity to drive without reducing our power to benchmark.