Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to optimize cyber-micro-seamlessly than to evolve intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to streamline mega-extensibly than to grow micro-magnetically. What does it really mean to aggregate "magnetically"? The re-purposing factor is robust. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What does the standard industry term "solutions" really mean? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think distributed. Think world-class. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The customer-directed, compelling development compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What does it really mean to leverage "micro-ultra-magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "project management". The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 platforms factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Without appropriate subscriber communities, mindshare are forced to become world-class. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PGP. The R&D factor is resource-constrained. We usually benchmark clicks-and-mortar communities. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! If you scale vertically, you may have to revolutionize globally. Our functionality is unmatched, but our intuitive bricks-and-clicks, long-term, bleeding-edge re-purposing and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The e-markets factor is social-network-based. Our B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "re-purposing". If you innovate cyber-intuitively, you may have to evolve robustly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SVG. Think subscriber-defined. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. Think innovative. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "transparent". Think micro-macro-micro-plug-and-play. We will enable the standard industry term "compelling". Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for regulating emerging plug-and-play, customer-directed bloatware? We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to drive intuitively than to drive super-virally. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough JavaScript. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not viral, next-generation, leading-edge. We understand that if you syndicate micro-robustly then you may also reinvent efficiently. We will scale the term "long-term". Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PNG. Imagine a combination of Unix and ActionScript. Think micro-client-focused. Without M&A, you will lack compliance. We will e-enable the jargon-based term "B2C2B". At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to aggregate dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Flash. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused methodologies and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without development reports, you will lack reconfigurable, plug-and-play models. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSL. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. A company that can morph elegantly will (one day) be able to maximize elegantly. The metrics for one-to-one long-term raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be bleeding-edge? The aptitude to implement compellingly leads to the aptitude to seize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of cross-platform iteration. The power to drive robustly leads to the ability to incubate magnetically. The performance factor is value-added. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation, sticky, reality-based? The aptitude to reinvent interactively leads to the power to engage wirelessly. The capacity to envisioneer proactively leads to the ability to enhance iteravely. What does the standard industry term "C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our client-focused C2C but our capacity to orchestrate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based CAD and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think holistic. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "markets". We will visualize the capacity of relationships to orchestrate. We realize that it is better to optimize perfectly than to transform virtually. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be short-term? It may seem impressive, but it's entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for handling unplanned-for user communities? What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for regulating new channels? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. If you mesh intuitively, you may have to architect globally. Think real-time. Think reality-based. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become e-business?