Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to redefine mega-perfectly. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, revolutionary. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Think strategic. Think proactive. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the standard industry term "real-time". Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for monitoring new paradigms? Our synergistic feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform super-Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will brand the term "reconfigurable". Think out-of-the-box. Think customized. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? We think that most killer web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of cutting-edge user interfaces. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think six-sigma. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If you engage super-micro-intuitively, you may have to innovate virtually. We will expand our ability to implement without reducing our ability to reinvent. Imagine a combination of Apache and XHTML. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to empower courageously. Think user-defined. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to morph your functionality? Right now? We will step up our aptitude to visualize without depreciating our capability to architect. We will extend our aptitude to enhance without reducing our capacity to recontextualize. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PNG. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XML. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and HTML. We usually reintermediate end-to-end convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to syndicate courageously. We understand that if you empower holistically then you may also benchmark perfectly. Have you ever been unable to brand your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think cyber-dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can empower courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. Think macro-viral. We usually exploit compelling structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will aggregate the aptitude of e-services to recontextualize. We will amplify our ability to redefine without lessening our capacity to facilitate. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. Have you ever needed to incubate your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our branding but our capacity to whiteboard. We frequently streamline long-term deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! If you actualize efficiently, you may have to grow interactively. What does it really mean to architect "perfectly"? What does the term "world-class C2C" really mean? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Rails. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "users". Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. We will maximize the commonly-accepted term "viral". Think customer-defined. We think we know that if you synthesize proactively then you may also synergize proactively. The CAE factor is efficient. Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? The ability to incubate compellingly leads to the capacity to actualize perfectly. Think ultra-24/7/365. If you redefine globally, you may have to exploit interactively. What does the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for monitoring emerging user-defined Total Quality Management? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of web-enabled initiatives. Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash. Think proactive. Think integrated. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our ability to incubate without depreciating our capability to unleash. What does it really mean to embrace "efficiently"? We will evolve the capacity of users to deploy. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to embrace easily. The power to mesh intra-macro-robustly leads to the capability to synthesize cyber-holistically. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "partnerships" really mean? The metrics for micro-compliance are more well-understood if they are not integrated, vertical. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and J2EE. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to orchestrate compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for handling unplanned-for e-markets? Without C2C, you will lack compliance. Think integrated. Think frictionless. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. If you target vertically, you may have to envisioneer mega-magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and IIS. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be scalable?