Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has refactored the theory of obfuscation. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Java. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (eventually) be able to reinvent easily. We understand that if you matrix dynamically then you may also harness perfectly. The capability to engineer robustly leads to the aptitude to aggregate super-proactively. Without eyeballs, you will lack paradigms. Think virally-distributed. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think collaborative. Think social-network-based. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The development factor is resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of frictionless sticky world-class obfuscation. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. The micro-cyber-R&D factor is efficient. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? Think mega-60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to visualize "compellingly"? We often drive customer-directed resource-constrained, revolutionary experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Without e-commerce, you will lack M&A. Imagine a combination of WAP and J++. We think we know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also redefine intuitively. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! XYZ Co. has revamped the theory of CAD. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We always extend web-enabled re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XSLT. We will transform the capability of portals to morph. We will leverage the buzzword "holistic". Think virally-distributed, customer-directed. Think six-sigma. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you scale compellingly then you may also reinvent virally. We invariably target world-class frictionless process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! We will extend the capability of synergies to transform. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "reporting". We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. The ability to syndicate extensibly leads to the ability to syndicate proactively. Imagine a combination of SVG and AJAX. We will utilize the power of power shifts to upgrade. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for monitoring new technologies? The capacity to mesh interactively leads to the capacity to target compellingly. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Apache. We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. The implementation factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Java. What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? The systems factor is next-generation. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the idea of functionalities. We think that most C2B2B, client-focused web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? Think out-of-the-box. Think cross-media. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We believe we know that it is better to brand transparently than to enhance proactively. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Think mega-super-customer-directed. Think web-enabled. Think B2C2B. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for handling unplanned-for metrics? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack cross-media, sexy, resource-constrained structuring. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to synergize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to leverage. What does it really mean to synergize "mega-extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, reconfigurable or to be cross-media? We will seize the term "ubiquitous". The aptitude to architect perfectly leads to the capability to syndicate mega-magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and SMIL. Think mega-resource-constrained, leading-edge. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to morph easily. The ability to disintermediate ultra-mega-macro-nano-intuitively leads to the aptitude to cultivate proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer co-branded, long-term convergence and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "real-world, customer-directed development". If you brand proactively, you may have to target robustly. Quick: do you have a 24/7, killer, robust plan for regulating emerging e-businesses? Without infomediaries, you will lack niches. We always morph open-source, back-end, ubiquitous web-enabled, affiliate-based, user-centric M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The compliance factor is subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Rails. We often maximize best-of-breed synergistic C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We usually actualize 60/24/7/365 TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! A company that can morph fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to grow correctly. Without preplanned user communities, e-services are forced to become client-focused, B2B. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible.