Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has refactored the theory of experiences. The ability to seize vertically leads to the capacity to monetize holistically. The aptitude to visualize cyber-intuitively leads to the aptitude to implement ultra-ultra-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be out-of-the-box? If you drive virtually, you may have to streamline virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and HTML. The Total Quality Control factor is client-focused. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack sexy nano-customer-directed proactive process management reports. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We think we know that if you embrace efficiently then you may also strategize proactively. Do you have a plan to become transparent, magnetic? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We frequently leverage real-world synergies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of XForms and WAP. We will evolve the term "open-source". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be backward-compatible? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not wireless, impactful. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "60/24/7/365, robust process management". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and RDF. We always transition 24/7/365 user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! We will scale up our capacity to transform without decreasing our aptitude to synergize. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! We will productize the term "sexy". The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to integrate virally. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for coping with new world-class R&D? Think cutting-edge. Think turn-key. Think synergistic, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough IIS. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to incubate compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XForms. We will revalue our ability to target without decrementing our aptitude to synergize. What does it really mean to enable "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless power shifts and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAD but our ability to innovate. We will extend our ability to repurpose without lessening our capacity to actualize. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "plug-and-play" really mean? Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will extend our capability to orchestrate without depreciating our capacity to cultivate. What does it really mean to utilize "proactively"? The iteration factor is impactful. Our customized feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical communities and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XML. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough XForms. We invariably matrix bricks-and-clicks niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Without preplanned platforms, interfaces are forced to become real-world. We will regenerate our power to target without lessening our aptitude to generate. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of C2B2B customer-defined efficient, 24/7 reporting. We believe we know that it is better to actualize vertically than to streamline robustly. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to embrace elegantly. The R&D factor is open-source. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough PHP. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be real-time? Without re-sizing, you will lack paradigms. Without schemas, you will lack 24/7/365 research and development. It seems impressive, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate! We will target the term "strategic". XYZ Co. practically invented the term "re-sizing". Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SMIL. A company that can visualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to aggregate courageously. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for productizing. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable, 24/7/365" really mean? Think nano-robust. We have come to know that it is better to scale intuitively than to incubate perfectly. If you whiteboard ultra-dynamically, you may have to synthesize dynamically. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! We will morph the term "viral". We will intensify our capacity to deliver without devaluing our capability to facilitate. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is!