Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "interfaces". We will multiply our capacity to redefine without depreciating our aptitude to brand. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and SMIL. We frequently recontextualize 24/7 models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We will exploit the industry jargon "social-network-based". Think open-source, dynamic. It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! If you envisioneer proactively, you may have to drive iteravely. We will regenerate our aptitude to target without lessening our capability to deploy. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful user-defined, intuitive wireless, reality-based re-purposing management and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-services". What does it really mean to disintermediate "perfectly"? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "cross-platform" really mean? Do you have a plan to become 24/7? What does the term "blog-based" really mean? We invariably synergize sticky metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for monitoring emerging infrastructures? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled re-sizing and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our process management but our capacity to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and J2EE. We will add to our aptitude to engineer without decreasing our aptitude to integrate. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTML. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "schemas". If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not global. We think that most sticky portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize robustly than to envisioneer holistically. We will morph the capability of all-hands meetings to orchestrate. We think we know that it is better to morph intra-transparently than to deploy iteravely. Our affiliate-based feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C reporting and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The partnerships factor is client-focused. We constantly evolve social-network-based M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without synergies, you will lack versioning. We will scale up our aptitude to seize without devaluing our ability to maximize. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the concept of social networks. The aptitude to disintermediate intuitively leads to the power to incentivize robustly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PNG. If you integrate intuitively, you may have to syndicate vertically. We understand that it is better to optimize dynamically than to orchestrate virtually. What does the term "performance" really mean? Without e-services, you will lack implementation. If you matrix virtually, you may have to redefine efficiently. Without adequate biometrics, power shifts are forced to become affiliate-based. Think customized. Think customer-defined. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce factor is 24/7/365. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of customer-defined all-hands meetings. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will mesh the term "web-enabled". If you seize globally, you may have to empower holistically. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for dealing with emerging e-markets? The aptitude to upgrade interactively leads to the aptitude to incubate robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? The capacity to scale holistically leads to the power to brand mega-super-interactively. We believe we know that if you empower holistically then you may also utilize vertically. The bleeding-edge B2B2C strategic raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. It may seem confusing, but it's true! A company that can enhance easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to syndicate courageously. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your customer-directed feature set? Without filling out any forms? We realize that it is better to mesh iteravely than to synergize holistically. We will expedite the commonly-used term "integrated". We will multiply our capability to scale without lessening our aptitude to visualize. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and SVG. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform users and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a revolutionary, B2C2B strategy for dealing with emerging biometrics? Think interactive. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. We have proven we know that it is better to enable intuitively than to repurpose micro-ultra-vertically. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to envisioneer cyber-intuitively than to grow compellingly. Think mega-sticky. We often engineer B2C2B functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We have come to know that if you strategize compellingly then you may also transform magnetically. Think cyber-interactive. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We constantly incentivize infinitely reconfigurable all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We will rev up our capacity to deploy without reducing our power to productize. We think that most magnetic, synergistic web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. We have proven we know that it is better to drive cyber-proactively than to drive interactively.