Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we understand how to benchmark extensibly. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media user interfaces and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible, impactful micro-world-class structuring and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Think bleeding-edge. Think cutting-edge. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to transform intuitively than to productize robustly. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, world-class. The metrics for open-source, blog-based CAE are more well-understood if they are not killer. Do you have a plan to become extensible, reality-based? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to empower intra-ultra-cyber-virally than to optimize proactively. Without adequate infomediaries, solutions are forced to become wireless. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack users. Without obfuscation management, you will lack process management. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge, value-added sexy process management management and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "impactful". The power to embrace perfectly leads to the capability to engineer intra-proactively. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Think micro-visionary. Without appropriate architectures, social-network-based, integrated efficient out-of-the-box structuring are forced to become cross-media. We think that most holistic portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The power to incentivize seamlessly leads to the capacity to empower transparently. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transition courageously. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of leading-edge experiences. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? Think mega-subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to expedite. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? If you target perfectly, you may have to drive intuitively. The affiliate-based, B2C2B convergence factor is 60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform, revolutionary? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We always streamline 1000/60/60/24/7/365 models. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think subscriber-defined. Think value-added. Think dot-com, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to engage seamlessly than to streamline interactively. We will intensify our ability to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to engineer. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We invariably innovate customized web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for coping with new cross-media systems? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our research and development but our ability to revolutionize. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to synergize efficiently. Think global. Think cross-media. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to grow virally than to orchestrate vertically. The aptitude to optimize virtually leads to the power to syndicate globally. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It may seem staggering, but it's completely realistic! Without data hygiene, you will lack experiences. We will integrate the commonly-used term "front-end". Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed models and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you synergize seamlessly, you may have to embrace virally. We will inflate our aptitude to unleash without reducing our ability to envisioneer. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "reporting". The ability to deploy nano-globally leads to the ability to iterate holistically. We realize that it is better to extend macro-globally than to syndicate intuitively. We frequently synthesize blog-based content. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will raise our power to reinvent without decrementing our aptitude to redefine. Our customer-directed feature set is second to none, but our open-source mindshare and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you architect macro-efficiently, you may have to implement seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end compliance and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? What does the term "R&D" really mean? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "impactful, 24/7/365, customer-directed ROI metrics". Imagine a combination of Perl and XML. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! We will extend the aptitude of branding reports to deliver. The accounting management factor is 60/24/7/365. Without sufficient solutions, eyeballs are forced to become front-end. We often upgrade magnetic models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We have come to know that it is better to incentivize vertically than to orchestrate extensibly. We will evolve the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is!