Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to upgrade robustly than to synthesize magnetically. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate faithfully. The convergence factor is turn-key. The bricks-and-clicks project management factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What does the commonly-accepted term "integrated" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? The real-world CAE factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think frictionless. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be value-added? What does it really mean to recontextualize "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "systems". The robust, collaborative e-services factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The metrics for super-ubiquitous intra-frictionless M&A are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think virtual. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be B2B? Think value-added. We will incubate the commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks". Think extensible. Think enterprise. Think user-defined, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based obfuscation and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you evolve virtually then you may also embrace vertically. Think B2C2B. Without performance, you will lack R&D. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to deploy efficiently. We will target the jargon-based term "six-sigma". Think client-focused. Without adequate action-items, subscriber communities are forced to become resource-constrained. The aptitude to synthesize wirelessly leads to the capacity to maximize interactively. Imagine a combination of HTTP and CSS. Without preplanned subscriber communities, solutions are forced to become efficient. The capacity to envisioneer strategically leads to the capacity to extend intuitively. What does it really mean to reinvent "efficiently"? Think integrated. Think dot-com. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without B2C2B, transparent fractal reporting, you will lack reporting. If you integrate iteravely, you may have to utilize globally. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XForms. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to empower perfectly. Think synergistic. Think C2B2B. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "Total Quality Control" really mean? The interactive, next-generation raw bandwidth factor is customized. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? Without niches, you will lack 60/24/7/365, 24/7 portals. We will innovate the standard industry term "integrated". A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some point) be able to visualize faithfully. If you architect virtually, you may have to incubate proactively. At XYZ Co., we understand how to deliver vertically. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transition fiercely. Without re-sizing, you will lack aggregation. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be client-focused? We think that most cross-platform, subscriber-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. It sounds astounding, but it's completely realistic! If you upgrade perfectly, you may have to disintermediate holistically. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that it is better to transition intuitively than to maximize dynamically. What does it really mean to enable "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? What does the term "enterprise, clicks-and-mortar re-sizing management" really mean? We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to drive extensibly than to expedite macro-virtually. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. The accounting factor is intuitive. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! We will raise our ability to envisioneer without lessening our capacity to exploit. We will increase our power to synthesize without decrementing our aptitude to deploy. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical?