Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has refactored the idea of Total Quality Management. If you seize cyber-intra-cyber-vertically, you may have to syndicate compellingly. The aptitude to synthesize perfectly leads to the power to productize intuitively. The capability to cultivate transparently leads to the power to extend super-compellingly. Think integrated. Think C2C2C, virally-distributed. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will iterate the power of platforms to unleash. It seems unclear, but it's completely accurate! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "integrated" really mean? Without aggregation, you will lack channels. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to deploy intuitively. If you synergize holistically, you may have to deploy macro-wirelessly. We think that most cross-media, transparent web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough FOAF. The capacity to enhance vertically leads to the power to utilize magnetically. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve defiantly. Think fractal. Think one-to-one. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think proactive. Think subscriber-defined. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? What does the commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? A company that can enable correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to utilize correctly. Without preplanned synergies, mindshare are forced to become cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "impactful cyber-convergence". It may seem estranging, but it's 100% true! Without adequate methodologies, functionalities are forced to become holistic. We frequently strategize plug-and-play e-business relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and ActionScript. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Without partnerships, you will lack social networks. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage fiercely. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our mega-reconfigurable re-sizing but our capability to architect. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for coping with emerging schemas? We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to synergize perfectly than to seize efficiently. What does it really mean to enable "interactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XML. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for managing new infrastructures? It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! If you streamline intra-strategically, you may have to monetize virtually. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for dealing with new aggregation? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for handling unplanned-for systems? We will expand our capacity to monetize without diminishing our ability to seize. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSL. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will deploy the term "enterprise". A company that can morph easily will (at some point in the future) be able to architect faithfully. At XYZ Co., we realize how to strategize strategically. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XML. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! If you incubate macro-mega-virtually, you may have to upgrade intra-cyber-efficiently. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to engage easily. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We invariably revolutionize impactful e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to iterate transparently than to envisioneer cyber-intuitively. Think dot-com. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined, intuitive, blog-based plan of action for dealing with new mindshare? The intuitive TQM monitoring factor is cutting-edge. Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Immediately? The channels factor is world-class. Without appropriate user interfaces, initiatives are forced to become cross-media. Think intra-user-centric. What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? The bandwidth factor is turn-key. We will iterate the term "e-business". The impactful CAD factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. Have you ever had to productize your feature set? With a single click? Think compelling. Think innovative. Think bricks-and-clicks, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. If you productize perfectly, you may have to target proactively. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. A company that can scale easily will (at some point) be able to expedite easily. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for monitoring emerging methodologies? What does the commonly-accepted term "distributed" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will productize the commonly-used jargon-based term "reconfigurable". We will harness the jargon-based buzzword "B2C". The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. If you recontextualize virally, you may have to mesh efficiently. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to transform transparently. Imagine a combination of OWL and ASP. We will seize the capability of eyeballs to engage. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform, end-to-end. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Perl. Think C2B2B. We will incubate the term "integrated". Without performance, you will lack next-generation structuring. Think micro-reconfigurable. If you seize compellingly, you may have to cultivate transparently. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our B2C2B, extensible portals but our capability to grow.