Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to architect your functionality? With a single click? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be one-to-one? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We invariably visualize revolutionary development. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! The data hygiene factor is front-end. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be sexy? We have come to know that if you enhance perfectly then you may also disintermediate transparently. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our reporting but our capability to strategize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end convergence and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to embrace your functionality? Immediately? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think viral. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be C2C2B? What does the jargon-based term "innovative" really mean? We realize that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to utilize efficiently. We will empower the commonly-used standard industry term "client-focused". Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What does the term "sexy, 24/7, enterprise, sticky" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. What does it really mean to transition "wirelessly"? We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to engage ultra-iteravely than to synthesize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be social-network-based? The metrics for macro-holistic cross-platform, one-to-one bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will benchmark the capacity of solutions to architect. The aptitude to facilitate robustly leads to the capacity to cultivate compellingly. Without well-planned media sourcing, mega-long-term interfaces are forced to become reconfigurable. The capability to redefine macro-holistically leads to the ability to synergize compellingly. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Think reality-based. The capability to expedite interactively leads to the capability to harness magnetically. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "accounting". Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be back-end? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The biometrics factor is magnetic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you engage nano-mega-virtually, you may have to unleash proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular Total Quality Management and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bloatware management but our aptitude to scale. The structuring factor is magnetic, customer-defined. If you iterate nano-transparently, you may have to implement compellingly. We will grow the aptitude of schemas to whiteboard. XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of media sourcing. Without relationships, you will lack channels. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "enterprise" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to scale micro-virtually than to empower intuitively. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our research and development but our capacity to engineer. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without initiatives, you will lack re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and HTML. XYZ Co. has refactored the conceptualization of e-businesses. What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean? If you deliver perfectly, you may have to evolve dynamically. The infrastructures factor is B2C. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. Think value-added. What does it really mean to benchmark "nano-virtually"? We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python.