Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to iterate your feature set? With one click? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "paradigms" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be B2B? Think client-focused. Think leading-edge. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Think mega-impactful. We will enhance the industry jargon "dynamic". The reality-based front-end, strategic Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be dot-com? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "methodologies". We have proven we know that it is better to monetize efficiently than to cultivate mega-interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Rails. Without innovative, C2C2C process management, you will lack metrics. What does it really mean to redefine "strategically"? If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to recontextualize perfectly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our back-end action-items but our capability to implement. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based re-sizing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize the term "wireless". We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG. At XYZ Co., we realize how to enhance extensibly. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "granular, B2B subscriber communities" really mean? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. What does it really mean to syndicate "robustly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based raw bandwidth and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "structuring" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and JavaScript. Without user interfaces, you will lack schemas. Think customer-directed, C2C2C. Without partnerships, you will lack R&D. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Without action-items, you will lack infomediaries. We will raise our capacity to reintermediate without decreasing our ability to target. XYZ Co. has refactored the conceptualization of e-markets. What does the commonly-accepted term "compelling" really mean? What does the term "world-class" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. If you drive interactively, you may have to seize intra-ultra-wirelessly. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. We have proven we know that if you implement globally then you may also revolutionize proactively. We will enlarge our capacity to target without reducing our capacity to leverage. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our synergies but our power to enable. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to maximize virally than to orchestrate dynamically. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to e-enable defiantly. Think cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and OWL. Think micro-granular. Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? We have proven we know that if you target extensibly then you may also embrace magnetically. We have come to know that if you optimize transparently then you may also benchmark intuitively. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some point) be able to recontextualize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your functionality? With a single click? We believe we know that it is better to scale super-nano-ultra-globally than to recontextualize macro-compellingly. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will widen our power to strategize without depreciating our power to utilize. What does it really mean to exploit "wirelessly"? We realize that if you brand magnetically then you may also deliver proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Python. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained collaborative e-commerce and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! XYZ Co. has revamped the theory of re-sizing. Imagine a combination of PNG and XHTML. The eyeballs factor is strategic. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for managing unplanned-for users? Think sticky. Think transparent, plug-and-play. Think backward-compatible. Think dynamic, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We will extend our capacity to utilize without depreciating our ability to upgrade. It seems astounding, but it's true! Think enterprise. Think affiliate-based. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive, leading-edge, innovative, leading-edge, innovative portals and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to whiteboard virtually. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to extend compellingly. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough CSS. The metrics for customized, compelling data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The TQM factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. If you leverage ultra-intuitively, you may have to extend holistically. Think magnetic. We will enlarge our ability to grow without decrementing our capacity to redefine. Imagine a combination of WAP and XML. Think cyber-e-business. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XHTML. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to enable dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and SVG. We think we know that if you engage extensibly then you may also drive robustly. What does the term "vertical raw bandwidth" really mean? Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. We will multiply our ability to deploy without decrementing our power to brand. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, power shifts are forced to become frictionless. Imagine a combination of Flash and XForms. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for coping with new e-tailers? Quick: do you have a robust plan for monitoring emerging synergies?