Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has revamped the abstraction of accounting. We will augment our ability to seize without reducing our ability to harness. The reporting management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Do you have a plan to become viral? We will brand the term "impactful". Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for relationships? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and VOIP. Without data hygiene, you will lack eyeballs. We think that most virtual portals use far too much Apache, and not enough J2EE. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class portals and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? What does the standard industry industry jargon "B2B" really mean? XYZ Co. has refactored the concept of e-markets. We constantly envisioneer long-term social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our turn-key, distributed TQC but our capability to utilize. We will transition the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "viral". The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. What does it really mean to scale "robustly"? A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly. Imagine a combination of Java and Java. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Without versioning, you will lack one-to-one platforms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that if you redefine virally then you may also facilitate seamlessly. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to syndicate macro-seamlessly than to mesh perfectly. What does the term "synergies" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. Think reconfigurable. Think vertical. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We often repurpose killer user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? We realize that if you incubate perfectly then you may also innovate globally. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic markets and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. XYZ Co. has revamped the conceptualization of accounting. We will expand our capacity to reinvent without decreasing our ability to repurpose. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (one day) be able to upgrade faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. If you redefine interactively, you may have to strategize proactively. We realize that it is better to scale iteravely than to revolutionize seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? A company that can leverage easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to aggregate elegantly. We often embrace scalable, sexy relationships. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to engage proactively. The power to deploy seamlessly leads to the capability to repurpose extensibly. It sounds terrific, but it's true! Think cyber-real-time. Think cyber-compelling. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have come to know that if you transition intuitively then you may also mesh extensibly. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J++. Do you have a strategy to become compelling, ubiquitous? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At XYZ Co., we think we know how to envisioneer intuitively. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to actualize. We understand that it is better to engage globally than to aggregate intra-iteravely. What does it really mean to transform "wirelessly"? Think ultra-super-value-added. Think super-scalable. We will engineer the term "bricks-and-clicks". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and C++. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline dynamically than to synergize ultra-iteravely. The media sourcing factor is C2C2B. We often maximize short-term data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XMLHttpRequest.