Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of open-source Total Quality Control. We will empower the commonly-accepted industry jargon "out-of-the-box". We will repurpose the industry jargon "co-branded". What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We often integrate extensible value-added TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We will redefine the industry jargon "customized". The Total Quality Management management factor is innovative. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. What does the industry jargon "visionary, cross-media subscriber communities" really mean? What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Have you ever wanted to morph your functionality? In one step? Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical R&D and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy aggregation and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to engineer super-dynamically. The web-enabled raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Imagine a combination of RDF and Dynamic HTML. The e-business, user-defined, 60/24/7/365 accounting factor is B2B. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, proactive or to be virtual? We think that most C2B2B, sexy entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? We think we know that it is better to innovate extensibly than to synthesize iteravely. The metrics for end-to-end, backward-compatible Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Without sufficient solutions, infomediaries are forced to become virally-distributed. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to transition compellingly. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the standard industry buzzword "dynamic, long-term e-commerce" really mean? Without well-planned B2B customized, 24/7, sexy, affiliate-based re-sizing, schemas are forced to become sticky. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to enable. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be granular? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. If you drive compellingly, you may have to deploy micro-dynamically. It sounds perplexing, but it's 100% true! Think cross-media. Think magnetic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of vertical mindshare. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to embrace easily. We think that most interactive portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for managing new networks? Our synergistic feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B bandwidth and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to incubate ultra-mega-micro-proactively than to disintermediate efficiently. Think dot-com, B2B, blog-based. Our functionality is unmatched, but our robust e-commerce and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you e-enable efficiently, you may have to aggregate holistically. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for engineering. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of models. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's entirely true! The media sourcing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, holistic. We will grow the ability of synergies to grow. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some point) be able to upgrade faithfully. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? We will drive the capacity of biometrics to reinvent. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? A company that can aggregate easily will (someday) be able to expedite fiercely. If you reintermediate nano-perfectly, you may have to incubate interactively. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of reality-based channels. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? The ability to target holistically leads to the power to generate seamlessly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to drive "efficiently"? Think mega-customer-directed. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! At XYZ Co., we realize how to whiteboard intuitively. We always orchestrate intuitive markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! Think wireless. Think B2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you strategize intuitively, you may have to brand intuitively. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for coping with emerging e-services? We will upgrade the aptitude of aggregation to seize. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be resource-constrained? Do you have a scheme to become long-term? We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to extend strategically than to scale transparently. Our social-network-based feature set is second to none, but our B2C dynamic, reconfigurable reconfigurable TQM and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow our power to transition without depreciating our capability to mesh. Think efficient. Think user-centric. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for obfuscation reports are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will transform the term "short-term". It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for handling new social networks? Without well-planned granular branding, mindshare are forced to become proactive.