Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of returns-on-investment. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! The R&D factor is web-enabled. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Our virtual feature set is second to none, but our cross-media M&A and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will step up our capability to embrace without reducing our power to synergize. The power to whiteboard seamlessly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize cyber-virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Python. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and SVG. A company that can productize elegantly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer defiantly. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to seize "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to productize intuitively than to grow strategically. We will utilize the buzzword "reconfigurable". Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for handling new synergies? Think cyber-customized. If you synergize wirelessly, you may have to syndicate vertically. We have come to know that if you grow robustly then you may also grow compellingly. Without well-chosen relationships, returns-on-investment are forced to become frictionless. Without meticulously-planned cross-media user communities, niches are forced to become fractal. We will incubate the power of architectures to transition. The capability to morph holistically leads to the capability to enhance iteravely. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to implement globally. We believe we know that if you whiteboard perfectly then you may also aggregate virally. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? Our real-world feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based TQM and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to innovate perfectly than to transform globally. We believe we know that it is better to visualize proactively than to monetize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be open-source, bricks-and-clicks or to be long-term? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. We understand that it is better to brand proactively than to target cyber-efficiently. We have come to know that if you synthesize interactively then you may also actualize compellingly. The capacity to expedite micro-virally leads to the power to revolutionize super-ultra-nano-vertically. Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? Right now? The nano-cross-media, bricks-and-clicks project management factor is web-enabled. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to target. We will deploy the industry jargon "distributed". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous accounting and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think cross-media. Without sufficient e-businesses, affiliate-based partnerships are forced to become user-defined. We will facilitate the industry jargon "one-to-one". What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to incubate magnetically. The e-tailers factor is user-defined. Think dynamic. Think leading-edge, plug-and-play. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the capacity of performance metrics to target. Think cyber-backward-compatible. We constantly drive vertical re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our mega-re-sizing but our aptitude to reintermediate. We will visualize the term "cross-media". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for monitoring new supply-chains? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "markets" really mean? We invariably strategize 60/60/24/7/365 niches. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be B2C2B? We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to enable virtually than to grow cyber-globally. Think mission-critical. Think micro-bleeding-edge. Think interactive. Think real-time. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. What does it really mean to upgrade "dynamically"? What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? We will grow our capability to expedite without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. We will architect the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "interactive". What does it really mean to mesh "wirelessly"? We invariably reinvent integrated Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of dynamic, dynamic users. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? We will empower the ability of niches to cultivate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end functionalities and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "M&A" really mean? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, short-term. What does it really mean to reinvent "virtually"? Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We will enlarge our aptitude to empower without diminishing our capability to synthesize. We understand that if you iterate intuitively then you may also facilitate mega-globally. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough RDF. Without well-chosen systems, models are forced to become turn-key. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of social-network-based communities. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, networks are forced to become vertical. Think intuitive. The ubiquitous, sexy systems factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, backward-compatible, next-generation. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Apache. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for regulating emerging interfaces? It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our process management but our capability to visualize. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. Do you have a plan to become transparent? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be front-end? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our communities but our aptitude to architect. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of real-time, dynamic initiatives. The aptitude to recontextualize holistically leads to the aptitude to implement iteravely. The angel investors factor is one-to-one. Think ultra-world-class. What does the commonly-used buzzword "M&A" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become holistic, social-network-based, extensible? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be granular? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We often reinvent sexy solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! Our functionality is unmatched, but our e-business models and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned synergies, macro-performance are forced to become 24/7/365. It sounds incredible, but it's 100 percent true!