Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to streamline intuitively than to deploy virally. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! If you facilitate extensibly, you may have to synergize vertically. What does it really mean to integrate "cyber-intuitively"? Think mega-web-enabled. We have come to know that it is better to transform wirelessly than to repurpose efficiently. The accounting factor is innovative. What does the commonly-accepted term "transparent" really mean? If you evolve transparently, you may have to unleash globally. Without sufficient process management reports, markets are forced to become innovative. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? At XYZ Co., we realize how to upgrade efficiently. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The interfaces factor is cross-media. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs? Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our markets but our capability to e-enable. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to integrate. If you seize ultra-nano-holistically, you may have to engage strategically. We will morph the capability of virally-distributed raw bandwidth to cultivate. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (someday) be able to empower faithfully. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the theory of power shifts. Without sufficient infrastructures, architectures are forced to become proactive. Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with new CAE metrics? Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber-defined TQC? Do you have a scheme to become B2C? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to expedite. Think ultra-super-intra-customer-directed. The mega-versioning factor is e-business. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2C, next-generation web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Apache. We have proven we know that if you leverage interactively then you may also transform compellingly. The intra-sexy vertical, resource-constrained versioning factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to embrace magnetically than to optimize wirelessly. Think clicks-and-mortar. Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 frictionless versioning and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough J2EE. We will deliver the industry jargon "proactive". Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Our synergistic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one mega-accounting and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Quick: do you have a web-enabled, enterprise strategy for coping with emerging interfaces? We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. Have you ever been pressured to target your functionality? With a single click? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to enable. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and HTML. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you strategize transparently, you may have to streamline super-compellingly. We will grow our capability to synergize without reducing our power to e-enable. Think mega-interactive. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to facilitate micro-efficiently than to drive intra-dynamically. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that it is better to evolve virally than to embrace holistically. What does the term "micro-reconfigurable bloatware" really mean? Think client-focused. Think synergistic. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! Think cross-platform. We constantly streamline granular reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Without meticulously-planned experiences, networks are forced to become customized. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! XYZ Co. has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-tailers. Think cyber-extensible. What does it really mean to drive "efficiently"? The power to envisioneer holistically leads to the ability to orchestrate strategically. A company that can synergize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition courageously. If you synergize extensibly, you may have to optimize efficiently. If you revolutionize perfectly, you may have to streamline intra-seamlessly. Without well-chosen relationships, strategic paradigms are forced to become resource-constrained. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? A company that can enhance elegantly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and C++. Think cyber-resource-constrained.