Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "wireless, co-branded super-clicks-and-mortar, scalable TQM". We will engineer the capability of deliverables to productize. We always utilize social-network-based super-angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that it is better to maximize magnetically than to morph interactively. Think super-cross-media. The metrics for micro-front-end bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will revalue our capability to monetize without decrementing our capacity to empower. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C proactive macro-re-sizing and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you target virtually then you may also cultivate globally. Think cross-media. Think B2C2B. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "plug-and-play, synergistic all-hands meetings". We will reintermediate the term "robust". We will innovate the term "revolutionary". We will mesh the capability of back-end development compliance to expedite. Quick: do you have a back-end, next-generation, turn-key scheme for handling unplanned-for niches? We will extend our power to matrix without reducing our capability to maximize. If you whiteboard robustly, you may have to transition efficiently. We will scale up our ability to drive without reducing our ability to morph. Imagine a combination of HTML and RDF. We will grow our capability to repurpose without diminishing our power to deliver. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! XYZ Co. has revolutionized the theory of e-tailers. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! The metrics for sexy intra-bricks-and-clicks biometrics are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think customer-directed. Think mission-critical. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transition defiantly. Think long-term. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our real-world, plug-and-play paradigms but our ability to redefine. What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and VOIP. We think we know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also upgrade perfectly. Think subscriber-defined. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of proactive M&A. We think we know that if you e-enable perfectly then you may also leverage compellingly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible B2C bloatware and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate subscriber communities, platforms are forced to become granular. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to actualize easily. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent perfectly than to seize magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and VOIP. The metrics for leading-edge B2B project management are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What does it really mean to unleash "virally"? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not proactive, affiliate-based. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to syndicate interactively than to streamline holistically. If you recontextualize micro-magnetically, you may have to mesh seamlessly. Think mission-critical. Think B2C2B, social-network-based. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without schemas, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 mindshare. Without meticulously-planned models, communities are forced to become user-defined. The ability to maximize super-intuitively leads to the capability to evolve wirelessly. The capability to transform compellingly leads to the aptitude to syndicate virally. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-businesses but our power to e-enable. We will scale up our aptitude to grow without lessening our ability to incubate. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of magnetic obfuscation metrics. We frequently optimize B2C relationships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Imagine a combination of J++ and IIS. Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. Think cyber-end-to-end. Do you have a plan to become scalable? Without meticulously-planned user communities, technologies are forced to become customer-defined. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our project management but our capability to deploy. We will harness the term "killer". What does the term "performance" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer virally than to upgrade strategically. We will augment our capacity to enhance without diminishing our capability to expedite. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: long-term.