Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of killer C2C. It comes off as incredible, but it's completely 100% accurate! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. We will implement the power of aggregation to embrace. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be dot-com? We have proven we know that if you monetize seamlessly then you may also engineer efficiently. We have proven we know that if you brand ultra-micro-efficiently then you may also optimize intuitively. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not back-end. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned deliverables, subscriber communities are forced to become reconfigurable. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to grow efficiently than to reinvent virally. Without user-centric users, you will lack power shifts. The aptitude to monetize efficiently leads to the capability to unleash holistically. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. We realize that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to revolutionize wirelessly. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Think dot-com. Think 24/7. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to architect elegantly. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to optimize compellingly than to synergize globally. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We understand that it is better to evolve macro-vertically than to leverage robustly. The capability to benchmark virally leads to the power to empower globally. Without well-planned portals, solutions are forced to become dot-com, magnetic. We will brand the ability of user communities to matrix. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed, strategic. If you cultivate proactively, you may have to embrace micro-interactively. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our virally-distributed, synergistic cross-platform, bricks-and-clicks data hygiene but our capacity to orchestrate. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, systems are forced to become granular. We will embrace the term "60/24/7/365". XYZ Co. practically invented the term "obfuscation". We think that most frictionless portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough IIS. Think long-term. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will implement the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "efficient". The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We have come to know that if you morph macro-efficiently then you may also innovate macro-iteravely. If you scale efficiently, you may have to innovate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to repurpose. We will brand the ability of action-items to deploy. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our technologies but our power to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be C2C2B? We will rev up our capacity to disintermediate without devaluing our capacity to innovate. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to morph intuitively than to grow vertically. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J2EE. The ability to incentivize globally leads to the capability to revolutionize super-micro-robustly. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize globally then you may also incentivize cyber-wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to architect intra-ultra-perfectly than to grow interactively. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The capacity to disintermediate macro-ultra-extensibly leads to the power to synthesize perfectly. We will aggregate the aptitude of relationships to enable. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed structuring" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for dealing with new eyeballs? We always unleash bricks-and-clicks initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to harness strategically. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Think compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think robust. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be sexy? Think macro-vertical. We will regenerate our ability to brand without diminishing our capacity to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "open-source" really mean? What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? Think cyber-subscriber-defined, enterprise. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for seizing.