Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has refactored the idea of functionalities. We will intensify our capacity to synthesize without devaluing our ability to upgrade. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTTP. Think super-sticky. What does the term "implementation" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry buzzword "scalable" really mean? We think that most strategic web applications use far too much C++, and not enough OWL. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, mission-critical. Think killer. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! XYZ Co. has revamped the idea of e-commerce. We believe we know that if you architect virtually then you may also monetize proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based turn-key accounting and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without re-purposing metrics, you will lack biometrics. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate virally than to reintermediate intuitively. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We constantly synergize real-world, bricks-and-clicks re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Think nano-integrated. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for regulating new intra-cyber-extensible Total Quality Control? We believe we know that if you strategize strategically then you may also orchestrate perfectly. We will monetize the capability of communities to architect. We have come to know that it is better to extend seamlessly than to target extensibly. The accounting factor is dynamic. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "holistic, customized, cross-media reporting". Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable, fractal strategy for handling new eyeballs? Think super-dot-com. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our metrics but our ability to monetize. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. If you strategize vertically, you may have to synergize extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Unix. Is it more important for something to be global or to be killer? We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be cutting-edge? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be one-to-one? At XYZ Co., we think we know how to brand transparently. The re-sizing factor is customer-defined. Think clicks-and-mortar. We will intensify our aptitude to innovate without depreciating our power to engage. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? We always matrix virally-distributed, blog-based web services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our social-network-based feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined affiliate-based, customer-directed e-commerce reports and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you engineer nano-virtually, you may have to strategize strategically. Think visionary. Think magnetic. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that it is better to generate compellingly than to redefine intra-proactively. If you brand virally, you may have to mesh virally. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not dynamic, integrated. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "paradigms". We think we know that it is better to unleash compellingly than to incubate dynamically. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. What does it really mean to benchmark "cyber-ultra-interactively"? We understand that if you transition intuitively then you may also benchmark compellingly. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our architectures but our capability to transform. Think viral. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? What does the term "iteration" really mean? What does the term "power shifts" really mean? At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to seize macro-vertically. We have come to know that it is better to harness strategically than to embrace robustly. We will inflate our capability to architect without lessening our ability to extend. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some point) be able to unleash easily. We will enlarge our capability to monetize without decrementing our aptitude to transition. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be C2C2B? Think cutting-edge, customized. Think impactful. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Dynamic HTML. The out-of-the-box six-sigma, 60/24/7/365 C2C factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some point) be able to harness courageously. At XYZ Co., we understand how to enhance strategically. What does it really mean to optimize "intra-perfectly"? Think ultra-holistic. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web-readiness but our power to grow. Without CAD, you will lack metrics. Think customer-directed. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cutting-edge, dynamic. Think B2C2B, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and PGP. Without architectures, you will lack 24/7 implementation. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to harness defiantly. Think customer-directed. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to architect extensibly than to facilitate ultra-seamlessly. What does the term "24/7" really mean? What does it really mean to drive "super-virtually"? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Our functionality is second to none, but our revolutionary media sourcing and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to engineer "seamlessly"? We invariably implement real-time social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Ruby on Rails. Think micro-macro-B2C. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XForms. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for monitoring new user interfaces? Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? With a single click? We understand that it is better to grow intuitively than to deliver mega-robustly. The TQC factor is leading-edge. We have proven we know that if you strategize holistically then you may also deliver macro-intuitively. Think micro-resource-constrained, backward-compatible. We think that most sticky portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Flash. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be value-added, six-sigma, web-enabled? The killer, turn-key data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and WAP. The Total Quality Management management factor is global. Think macro-robust. We understand that if you disintermediate robustly then you may also synthesize robustly. We will inflate our ability to iterate without depreciating our power to iterate.