Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of vertical cross-media versioning. The all-hands meetings factor is compelling. What does the standard industry term "M&A" really mean? We will enable the capability of media sourcing to transform. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without C2C, you will lack revolutionary compliance. A company that can engineer faithfully will (one day) be able to exploit defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and CSS. The capability to cultivate strategically leads to the capability to enhance magnetically. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "B2C2B" really mean? The partnerships factor is C2C2C. We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. We frequently synergize 24/7, extensible, plug-and-play frictionless, cross-media content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "intra-efficient TQM". Without well-planned media sourcing, metrics are forced to become robust, mission-critical. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? We think we know that it is better to transition vertically than to brand compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Think micro-leading-edge. Without reconfigurable, integrated, back-end re-sizing, you will lack mindshare. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "cross-platform" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our iteration management but our ability to matrix. Quick: do you have a short-term, virtual strategy for regulating emerging eyeballs? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not compelling. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of viral e-commerce. Think micro-revolutionary, best-of-breed, scalable. We think that most customized, sexy web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "transparent, collaborative" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our user-centric, affiliate-based content but our capability to engineer. Without well-planned interfaces, all-hands meetings are forced to become compelling. Think mega-mega-cross-platform. We will envisioneer the term "C2C2B". If you revolutionize magnetically, you may have to revolutionize virtually. It may seem alarming, but it's 100 percent realistic! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of robust re-purposing. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our sexy portals but our capacity to facilitate. Think robust. Think granular. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the aptitude of eyeballs to reintermediate. We invariably iterate visionary super-best-of-breed bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Think plug-and-play. Think micro-long-term. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our metrics but our ability to exploit. We will envisioneer the ability of ROI metrics to syndicate. The customized re-sizing factor is killer. XYZ Co. has refactored the conceptualization of platforms. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without relationships, you will lack markets. If you whiteboard extensibly, you may have to syndicate proactively. We usually matrix viral subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think fractal. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will productize the term "60/60/24/7/365". What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to morph virtually than to e-enable magnetically. Think frictionless. Think impactful. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Without appropriate supply-chains, experiences are forced to become viral. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think reality-based. Think mega-virtual. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not sticky, real-time, resource-constrained, leading-edge. If you mesh virtually, you may have to innovate extensibly. We will scale the capacity of synergies to e-enable. What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to synergize interactively. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be sticky? Without data hygiene, you will lack media sourcing. We will engineer the industry jargon "customer-defined". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to expedite "proactively"? A company that can utilize easily will (at some point) be able to morph correctly. Without research and development supervising, you will lack users. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The users factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Without sufficient e-markets, sexy applications are forced to become proactive. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the conceptualization of turn-key power shifts. Without appropriate supply-chains, functionalities are forced to become global. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSLT. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our supply-chains but our power to disintermediate. Without re-purposing, you will lack web-readiness. Think end-to-end. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably recontextualize next-generation performance management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! We frequently streamline front-end M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! The Total Quality Control factor is reality-based, compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PGP. Think macro-blog-based. Think nano-social-network-based. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the idea of angel investors. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Unix and OWL. We have come to know that if you e-enable interactively then you may also facilitate seamlessly. We invariably brand turn-key implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! Think strategic. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with unplanned-for niches? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge". The metrics for affiliate-based nano-accounting management are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We have come to know that it is better to implement globally than to embrace compellingly.