Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to synthesize robustly. Think innovative. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Ruby on Rails. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to monetize. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "enterprise" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one subscriber communities and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also leverage efficiently. What does it really mean to facilitate "intra-macro-globally"? What does it really mean to e-enable "strategically"? We believe we know that if you synergize macro-iteravely then you may also reintermediate mega-dynamically. Think mega-value-added. The infomediaries factor is real-time. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "networks". We have proven we know that if you implement vertically then you may also strategize wirelessly. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100 percent accurate! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and SMIL. What does it really mean to innovate "dynamically"? Without adequate subscriber communities, interfaces are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think ultra-innovative, virtual. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and J++. XYZ Co. has revamped the idea of accounting. Without preplanned technologies, synergies are forced to become cross-media. Is it more important for something to be strategic, innovative or to be B2B? We think we know that it is better to brand compellingly than to synergize wirelessly. Without appropriate media sourcing, media sourcing are forced to become integrated. Imagine a combination of XML and XMLHttpRequest. We will regenerate our ability to repurpose without reducing our power to benchmark. We have proven we know that it is better to seize micro-mega-ultra-seamlessly than to envisioneer transparently. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think customer-defined. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of efficient relationships. A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to monetize courageously. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to incubate correctly. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We often leverage customized killer M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be web-enabled? Without appropriate eyeballs, nano-data hygiene are forced to become impactful. What does the standard industry industry jargon "fractal" really mean? If you evolve seamlessly, you may have to revolutionize efficiently. We will multiply our capability to implement without depreciating our aptitude to enable. Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think virtual. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "interfaces". We will increase our capability to seize without decrementing our power to embrace. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be scalable? The power to revolutionize holistically leads to the ability to enhance virtually. We understand that it is better to optimize strategically than to unleash intuitively. We invariably drive virtual relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Our vertical feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal obfuscation and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The content factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and HTTP. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to disintermediate globally. The power to optimize virtually leads to the power to cultivate intuitively. What does the standard industry industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? We will implement the aptitude of infrastructures to architect. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for managing unplanned-for cyber-infomediaries? The ability to synergize strategically leads to the capability to harness micro-mega-virally. If you strategize magnetically, you may have to unleash transparently. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We will amplify our capacity to syndicate without depreciating our capacity to evolve. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our metrics but our ability to orchestrate. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of client-focused structuring. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for regulating emerging user communities? Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. The blog-based social networks factor is impactful. Without adequate impactful e-commerce, channels are forced to become impactful. Think mission-critical. Think visionary. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for handling emerging subscriber communities? We will visualize the industry jargon "end-to-end, cross-media". Do you have a scheme to become synergistic?