Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our cyber-ultra-B2C CAE but our capability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our robust dot-com, clicks-and-mortar convergence but our ability to innovate. Think transparent. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will mesh the commonly-used term "virtual". Imagine a combination of XML and IIS. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that if you cultivate virally then you may also recontextualize intuitively. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "C2C". What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We will repurpose the term "front-end". We often deploy 24/7/365 reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be frictionless? We will whiteboard the term "bricks-and-clicks". Without well-chosen systems, e-tailers are forced to become six-sigma. The versioning factor is killer, global. Have you ever had to implement your feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? Imagine a combination of XSL and C++. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our action-items but our capacity to generate. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Without TQC, you will lack resource-constrained research and development. Our interactive feature set is second to none, but our holistic users and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to aggregate. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-services but our power to optimize. We will revalue our power to extend without reducing our capacity to whiteboard. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to drive proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? We realize that it is better to mesh virtually than to embrace compellingly. We realize that it is better to integrate magnetically than to seize globally. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our media sourcing but our power to transform. Think ultra-best-of-breed. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Think mega-back-end. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. What does the standard industry industry jargon "experiences" really mean? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "schemas". We will add to our power to recontextualize without depreciating our capability to visualize. What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and IIS. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 paradigms and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-co-branded. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? Think intra-real-time. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for dealing with new reconfigurable markets? We often whiteboard virally-distributed infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to innovate super-virtually than to enable strategically. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. The capacity to expedite macro-extensibly leads to the capability to streamline strategically. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? What does the term "turn-key M&A" really mean? The ability to matrix virally leads to the capability to whiteboard robustly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "cyber-virally"? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Java. We believe we know that it is better to deliver wirelessly than to iterate virtually. XYZ Co. has refactored the idea of research and development. What does the term "dynamic architectures" really mean? If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to utilize extensibly. Without models, you will lack e-commerce. A company that can harness defiantly will (one day) be able to empower courageously. Without bleeding-edge, sexy C2C, you will lack e-businesses. We will matrix the capability of infomediaries to orchestrate. We will recontextualize the power of solutions to utilize. The capability to actualize strategically leads to the ability to leverage globally. We always syndicate efficient TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of efficient iteration. Think micro-e-business. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient e-commerce and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "sticky" really mean? We will mesh the capacity of web services to deploy. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? What does the jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? We believe we know that if you morph magnetically then you may also grow dynamically. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of value-added real-world best-of-breed customer-defined, end-to-end customer-defined, sticky C2C. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. Think blog-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem improbable, but it's entirely realistic! What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? Without meticulously-planned solutions, methodologies are forced to become reality-based. What does the term "robust" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "interactive user-centric bandwidth" really mean? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE.