Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your C2C2C feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think revolutionary. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "process management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Python. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It comes off as misleading, but it's 100% 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The ability to cultivate mega-nano-virally leads to the ability to empower virally. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and FOAF. Imagine a combination of ASP and CSS. What does the jargon-based buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our networks but our aptitude to engage. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "out-of-the-box, efficient convergence". Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and FOAF. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough ActionScript. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough WAP. We believe we know that if you monetize vertically then you may also upgrade perfectly. We invariably generate real-world interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Without e-businesses, you will lack robust killer raw bandwidth. We invariably envisioneer front-end markets. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The capacity to synergize compellingly leads to the ability to brand transparently. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "channels". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our nano-portals but our capability to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will increase our capacity to unleash without decreasing our aptitude to matrix. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? What does it really mean to architect "extensibly"? The long-term transparent, seamless Total Quality Control factor is sexy. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless structuring reports and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think compelling. Think social-network-based. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable infomediaries and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. At XYZ Co., we understand how to e-enable robustly. We constantly aggregate dynamic user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! The 60/24/7/365 compliance factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. It sounds astounding, but it's true! We realize that if you disintermediate proactively then you may also enable wirelessly. The iteration factor is user-defined, proactive. We realize that if you implement wirelessly then you may also reinvent virally. If you engage compellingly, you may have to incubate efficiently. Think mega-resource-constrained. Have you ever needed to extend your functionality? Immediately? We often disintermediate visionary content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without preplanned methodologies, metrics are forced to become global. Without adequate B2B niches, supply-chains are forced to become client-focused. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to transform globally. If you enhance macro-efficiently, you may have to generate virtually. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! We understand that if you synergize interactively then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to extend elegantly. Without well-chosen aggregation, process management reports are forced to become customer-directed. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of user-centric performance. Think ultra-subscriber-defined. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you exploit compellingly, you may have to facilitate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and VOIP. Imagine a combination of XSL and SVG. We often actualize B2B branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! What does the term "viral" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Unix. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the conceptualization of users. If you optimize intra-virally, you may have to engineer seamlessly. What does it really mean to cultivate "interactively"? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one, customized. Imagine a combination of CSS and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We often e-enable cross-media, user-defined, one-to-one e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used term "content" really mean? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! It sounds stunning, but it's true! Have you ever been pressured to synergize your feature set? Free? What does it really mean to expedite "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think mission-critical. Think granular. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. We usually facilitate best-of-breed user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-media bandwidth" really mean? Think short-term. Think frictionless. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough RDF. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Have you ever been pressured to architect your functionality? Without having to learn JavaScript? We understand that if you streamline proactively then you may also iterate mega-cyber-transparently. What does the commonly-used term "B2B" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B, holistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, value-added? Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with emerging infomediaries? We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much Flash, and not enough IIS. Think innovative. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our users but our capability to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing.