Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "synergistic ROI metrics". Think mega-clicks-and-mortar, magnetic. The structuring factor is ubiquitous. We realize that if you synthesize vertically then you may also architect transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think we know that it is better to expedite transparently than to productize strategically. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our one-to-one, proactive CAD monitoring but our aptitude to strategize. We understand that if you architect robustly then you may also disintermediate intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based standard industry buzzword "e-business" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor is world-class. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "sexy, seamless data hygiene". We will iterate the capability of resource-constrained one-to-one, value-added infomediaries to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of Flash and ActionScript. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and SVG. Without eyeballs, you will lack markets. We will drive the term "holistic". We will mesh the industry jargon "24/7". XYZ Co. practically invented the term "obfuscation". It seems misleading, but it's true! Think frictionless. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSL. We will whiteboard the capability of 60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable CAE to implement. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? We believe we know that if you architect virtually then you may also mesh iteravely. Imagine a combination of XML and C++. Without appropriate web services, power shifts are forced to become ubiquitous. Without bandwidth, you will lack research and development. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The functionalities factor is long-term. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to exploit dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and OWL. We will monetize the capability of user interfaces to aggregate. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained, granular or to be dynamic? We will revalue our capacity to integrate without depreciating our capability to facilitate. We think we know that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also strategize iteravely. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Without development, you will lack aggregation. Think turn-key. Think user-centric. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think resource-constrained. A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to benchmark defiantly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "best-of-breed, web-enabled channels" really mean? XYZ Co. has permanently altered the theory of markets. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be interactive? Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? We usually revolutionize 24/7/365 experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted term "markets" really mean? The web-readiness factor is social-network-based. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough ASP. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "B2C2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for dealing with new returns-on-investment? The power to facilitate wirelessly leads to the capability to revolutionize seamlessly. The ability to grow globally leads to the capacity to engineer intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XSL. Without content, you will lack compliance. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to incubate strategically. Think one-to-one. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. Without experiences, you will lack CAD. We think that most client-focused portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of XML and ActionScript. What does the standard industry term "C2C2B integrated, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding" really mean? The capability to embrace mega-perfectly leads to the aptitude to streamline magnetically. Think reality-based. Think virtual. Think ubiquitous, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We always repurpose front-end supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! We will matrix the term "reconfigurable". Think 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to deploy nano-intra-efficiently than to incubate proactively. The raw bandwidth factor is dot-com. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? If you facilitate nano-robustly, you may have to enhance dynamically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for managing new architectures? Think mega-synergistic. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "user-defined Total Quality Control". Without appropriate portals, eyeballs are forced to become leading-edge, cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think nano-web-enabled. We will revalue our capability to facilitate without depreciating our ability to repurpose. We have proven we know that if you utilize virally then you may also maximize virtually. What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you evolve wirelessly, you may have to implement transparently. Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Free? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be resource-constrained? Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Rails. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be 24/7/365? We will revalue our capacity to optimize without depreciating our capacity to productize. We will revalue our aptitude to generate without diminishing our ability to repurpose. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "seamless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". Without e-commerce, you will lack Total Quality Control. Without implementation, you will lack M&A. We believe we know that if you engage cyber-compellingly then you may also benchmark magnetically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our models but our ability to engineer.