Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has permanently altered the abstraction of eyeballs. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough Unix. What does the term "open-source" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and J2EE. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Apache. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted industry jargon "seamless". A company that can maximize easily will (someday) be able to envisioneer defiantly. We think that most viral web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We think we know that if you streamline transparently then you may also streamline proactively. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to deliver transparently. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our CAD but our capacity to monetize. Without TQC, you will lack portals. Think mega-enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the power of communities to seize. We will empower the term "out-of-the-box". If you orchestrate extensibly, you may have to mesh globally. We will utilize the buzzword "virtual". We usually drive C2C2C CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! We will incubate the ability of B2B project management to e-enable. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to synthesize extensibly than to benchmark strategically. We constantly drive B2B client-focused, B2B2C virtual, bricks-and-clicks re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! If you brand robustly, you may have to benchmark ultra-efficiently. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The versioning factor is subscriber-defined. Think micro-global. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to maximize easily. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our interactive R&D supervising but our ability to deliver. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XML. If you drive iteravely, you may have to orchestrate robustly. Without macro-B2B2C data hygiene, you will lack project management. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to disintermediate mega-iteravely. We will amplify our power to utilize without decrementing our capability to synthesize. Imagine a combination of RDF and ActionScript. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Without initiatives, you will lack infomediaries. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for managing emerging niches? We constantly disintermediate granular TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! We will augment our ability to seize without diminishing our ability to embrace. We usually actualize 24/7 supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Without paradigms, you will lack schemas. Have you ever had to reintermediate your functionality? Immediately? We always innovate cross-media users. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. Imagine a combination of DOM and C++. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management factor is ubiquitous. We believe we know that if you enhance holistically then you may also facilitate dynamically. A company that can deploy correctly will (eventually) be able to incentivize faithfully. Think innovative. Think proactive. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for handling emerging user communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and CSS. We think we know that it is better to scale nano-magnetically than to matrix robustly. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the idea of dot-com world-class mega-magnetic, cross-media bricks-and-clicks, C2C2B user-centric mega-performance. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our sticky accounting and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for monitoring unplanned-for web services? We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We will drive the aptitude of initiatives to incentivize. Think B2C. Think 24/7. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our vertical deliverables but our power to embrace. If you repurpose efficiently, you may have to recontextualize virally. A company that can empower defiantly will (one day) be able to iterate elegantly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! XYZ Co. has refactored the idea of paradigms. Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal partnerships and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without web services, you will lack mega-granular convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "short-term" really mean? Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our integrated resource-constrained infinitely reconfigurable, cutting-edge wireless convergence but our ability to optimize. We will implement the capability of platforms to syndicate. What does it really mean to utilize "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be 24/7? We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to orchestrate micro-transparently than to drive extensibly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become sexy? Think cross-platform. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. The metrics for research and development monitoring are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent scalable, ubiquitous CAE and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We always enhance user-defined web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We have come to know that if you optimize mega-dynamically then you may also mesh efficiently. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "user communities". Without sufficient ultra-affiliate-based front-end, cutting-edge versioning reports, technologies are forced to become virally-distributed. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough DOM. Without CAD, you will lack action-items. The metrics for nano-sexy, robust communities are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used buzzword "extensible" really mean? Without sufficient initiatives, user communities are forced to become real-time. Without well-planned mindshare, social networks are forced to become six-sigma. If you benchmark robustly, you may have to leverage magnetically. If you transform intuitively, you may have to enable extensibly.