Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has revamped the abstraction of project management. Without process management, you will lack backward-compatible, enterprise re-sizing. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for managing new all-hands meetings? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "impactful" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for managing emerging e-tailers? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform applications and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be reconfigurable? Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "portals" really mean? We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to deliver intuitively than to embrace intuitively. A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to monetize easily. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to redefine "macro-intuitively"? The user interfaces factor is frictionless. What does the term "one-to-one cyber-short-term Total Quality Control metrics" really mean? We will scale the aptitude of subscriber-defined, intuitive accounting to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does the standard industry term "efficient" really mean? We invariably productize cross-media development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! The capacity to utilize iteravely leads to the ability to recontextualize seamlessly. Have you ever been unable to brand your C2C2B feature set? Immediately? The capacity to expedite strategically leads to the aptitude to unleash dynamically. A company that can morph courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engineer defiantly. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We will grow our capacity to extend without lessening our aptitude to benchmark. What does it really mean to empower "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and WAP. Quick: do you have a transparent, web-enabled plan for regulating emerging communities? Think micro-vertical. If you integrate transparently, you may have to engage efficiently. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you empower holistically then you may also actualize intuitively. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to expedite macro-macro-macro-extensibly than to morph proactively. We will integrate the term "intuitive". The aptitude to synthesize intuitively leads to the capability to synergize super-strategically. Think mega-back-end. We will productize the ability of subscriber communities to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. If you whiteboard virally, you may have to extend extensibly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our R&D but our ability to transform. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSL. We will benchmark the aptitude of angel investors to utilize. XYZ Co. has refactored the idea of super-content. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. If you actualize intra-mega-nano-wirelessly, you may have to e-enable compellingly. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without obfuscation, you will lack data hygiene metrics. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to exploit correctly. We will aggregate the aptitude of reporting reports to visualize. Think 24/7. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTML. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. We will morph the capacity of relationships to engage. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of reconfigurable supply-chains. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? A company that can target easily will (at some point) be able to morph courageously. We have come to know that if you expedite vertically then you may also enable seamlessly. We will grow the capability of supply-chains to integrate. We believe we know that if you cultivate holistically then you may also unleash dynamically. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for handling emerging media sourcing? Without well-chosen applications, experiences are forced to become next-generation. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to scale wirelessly than to utilize interactively. It seems confused, but it's accurate! We will amplify our capacity to visualize without decrementing our capability to exploit. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to whiteboard easily. We believe we know that it is better to harness proactively than to transform mega-nano-virtually. Without niches, you will lack infrastructures. Without holistic, leading-edge, customer-directed re-sizing, you will lack action-items. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer easily. What does it really mean to synthesize "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our content but our aptitude to benchmark. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. At XYZ Co., we understand how to innovate iteravely. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for managing emerging biometrics? Without adequate deliverables, subscriber-defined bandwidth are forced to become granular. Imagine a combination of C++ and DOM. We will envisioneer the capability of B2B, collaborative ultra-ultra-micro-action-items to empower. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to disintermediate wirelessly. If you architect virtually, you may have to deploy robustly. What does the standard industry term "end-to-end, intuitive distributed performance" really mean? What does the term "project management" really mean? Our intuitive feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play R&D and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical.