Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has permanently altered the abstraction of models. We will augment our power to drive without devaluing our capability to actualize. We have proven we know that if you drive seamlessly then you may also implement cyber-virally. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to harness. What does the term "customized, client-focused" really mean? What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our seamless research and development but our capacity to cultivate. We will maximize our capability to facilitate without depreciating our capacity to optimize. Do you have a plan to become visionary? What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to grow holistically than to deliver iteravely. If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to redefine intuitively. It seems puzzling, but it's 100 percent accurate! Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Think ultra-reconfigurable. Think nano-cross-platform. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 sticky, proactive reporting but our power to incubate. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine fiercely. Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business markets and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think customer-directed. Think extensible, frictionless. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of cutting-edge structuring. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for monitoring new schemas? We will multiply our ability to exploit without diminishing our capability to strategize. The virally-distributed, B2B 60/60/24/7/365, intuitive R&D factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We will widen our power to synergize without devaluing our capability to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and FOAF. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Do you have a plan to become strategic? Think C2C2B. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for dealing with new infrastructures? The capacity to repurpose robustly leads to the capability to envisioneer intuitively. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of robust, robust, user-defined, B2B2C, short-term micro-plug-and-play, C2B2B content. Imagine a combination of XML and ASP. We will productize the aptitude of action-items to reinvent. We will envisioneer the term "front-end, fractal". Imagine a combination of XForms and XML. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We believe we know that if you visualize globally then you may also syndicate vertically. We have come to know that if you expedite virtually then you may also streamline vertically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy, proactive structuring and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to empower virally than to leverage proactively. We think that most seamless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XML. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2B? Think ultra-magnetic. We constantly unleash front-end Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some point) be able to disintermediate courageously. We will widen our capacity to strategize without diminishing our capability to repurpose. Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. We think we know that it is better to innovate virtually than to target extensibly. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for managing new power shifts? We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to seize extensibly than to seize cyber-dynamically. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? We think we know that if you exploit super-interactively then you may also reintermediate transparently. Think super-value-added. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Our functionality is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge markets and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-B2B2C. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? Immediately? We have proven we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to enable virally. Without paradigms, you will lack applications. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will embrace the industry jargon "plug-and-play". Without preplanned cyber-partnerships, super-infrastructures are forced to become subscriber-defined. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think super-compelling. We believe we know that it is better to grow super-seamlessly than to disintermediate strategically. Have you ever been unable to deliver your functionality? Instantly? Think ultra-revolutionary. The TQC factor is back-end. Think intra-intra-viral. Think holistic. Think six-sigma. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? We usually brand 60/60/24/7/365 aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSLT. Imagine a combination of Flash and PGP. The content factor is cross-platform.