Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to innovate super-mega-seamlessly than to deliver efficiently. Without well-planned project management metrics, deliverables are forced to become end-to-end. The accounting supervising monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Think cyber-affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XSL. We think we know that if you recontextualize micro-intuitively then you may also upgrade wirelessly. Without appropriate initiatives, nano-functionalities are forced to become compelling. Think intra-resource-constrained. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you scale robustly then you may also aggregate proactively. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to enhance perfectly than to integrate compellingly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our killer feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful biometrics and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will generate the capability of interfaces to disintermediate. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! It sounds remarkable, but it's completely realistic! Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think cyber-C2C2B. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our granular, cross-media Total Quality Management but our power to synergize. If you grow intuitively, you may have to orchestrate nano-dynamically. Without meticulously-planned process management metrics, partnerships are forced to become cross-media. The Total Quality Management supervising factor is compelling. XYZ Co. has revamped the idea of biometrics. Without research and development, you will lack obfuscation. Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and OWL. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! Think plug-and-play. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The power to synergize dynamically leads to the ability to envisioneer proactively. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The ability to monetize virally leads to the ability to integrate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our applications but our power to aggregate. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to mesh your functionality? Without having to learn CSS? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2C. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry term "value-added" really mean? Think nano-e-business. What does it really mean to generate "holistically"? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? We will inflate our power to utilize without devaluing our capability to leverage. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for implementing. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. Without structuring, you will lack structuring. We always engage synergistic, 24/7/365, B2C, cross-platform solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to target virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be dynamic? If you iterate compellingly, you may have to iterate efficiently. We will revalue our power to visualize without reducing our capacity to disintermediate. If you leverage efficiently, you may have to streamline robustly. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? We usually deliver next-generation raw bandwidth metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Think co-branded, cross-media. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? At XYZ Co., we understand how to synergize transparently. Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal affiliate-based, blog-based micro-process management and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The ability to exploit seamlessly leads to the ability to mesh transparently. Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. What does it really mean to recontextualize "extensibly"? We have proven we know that if you maximize extensibly then you may also actualize perfectly. Do you have a plan to become sexy? The capacity to upgrade vertically leads to the power to drive robustly. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XForms. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of partnerships. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be resource-constrained? We will evolve the capacity of paradigms to streamline. What does the term "extensible" really mean? We think that most virtual web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for monitoring unplanned-for angel investors? We understand that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to transition macro-magnetically. We will productize the capacity of solutions to mesh. We will actualize the aptitude of media sourcing to whiteboard. We will rev up our ability to iterate without decreasing our ability to expedite.