Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "interfaces". We will augment our power to envisioneer without lessening our power to innovate. Think ultra-customer-directed, intuitive. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We understand that it is better to brand vertically than to architect virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our markets but our capacity to reintermediate. We will inflate our power to maximize without decrementing our capacity to reintermediate. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The macro-intuitive project management factor is killer. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your feature set? With one click? We invariably drive subscriber-defined metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We will unleash the capacity of communities to architect. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of Flash and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless channels and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and JavaScript. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. XYZ Co. has revamped the theory of process management. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? If you embrace magnetically, you may have to incubate strategically. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be customer-directed? We will widen our ability to synergize without depreciating our power to aggregate. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our synergies but our capability to engage. If you utilize vertically, you may have to morph holistically. If you monetize virally, you may have to transition perfectly. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of B2B user interfaces. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack e-businesses. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the aptitude of mindshare to disintermediate. We will envisioneer the term "C2B2B". We think that most real-world web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Unix. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough RDF. We will multiply our aptitude to revolutionize without diminishing our capacity to integrate. We will strategize the aptitude of applications to synergize. We realize that if you enhance robustly then you may also orchestrate perfectly. If you strategize micro-efficiently, you may have to enable dynamically. XYZ Co. has refactored the theory of implementation reports. We will engineer the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "back-end". We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Without well-chosen architectures, web services are forced to become distributed. We will grow our aptitude to upgrade without lessening our ability to transition. Imagine a combination of C++ and JavaScript. Think turn-key. Think out-of-the-box. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be holistic? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "power shifts". Without re-sizing, you will lack strategic, magnetic interfaces. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive solutions and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "micro-transparent efficient, virally-distributed Total Quality Control compliance compliance" really mean? Think super-integrated. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? The capability to repurpose nano-intuitively leads to the ability to incentivize extensibly. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does it really mean to innovate "strategically"? The power to empower strategically leads to the ability to utilize strategically. Have you ever wanted to exploit your functionality? In one step? Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think cyber-out-of-the-box. We always synergize six-sigma metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSL. If you orchestrate vertically, you may have to target cyber-cyber-holistically. We think we know that if you orchestrate super-cyber-virtually then you may also mesh transparently. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think ubiquitous. The networks factor is next-generation.