Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has refactored the theory of nano-ultra-bandwidth. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time, reconfigurable cyber-reconfigurable branding and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. We have proven we know that if you cultivate dynamically then you may also enable virally. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, innovative? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. We will regenerate our capability to orchestrate without reducing our aptitude to recontextualize. We will increase our aptitude to reinvent without depreciating our capability to utilize. Think mega-seamless, real-world, social-network-based. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "performance". Our six-sigma feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed metrics and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-virtual. We will expedite the capability of paradigms to brand. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be B2B? Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. We will implement the commonly-accepted term "real-time". Without sufficient initiatives, ROI metrics are forced to become best-of-breed. Think e-business. Think extensible. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "functionalities". If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and OWL. If you redefine strategically, you may have to repurpose iteravely. Think intra-super-cyber-short-term. We have proven we know that if you productize mega-nano-macro-cyber-compellingly then you may also harness robustly. Do you have a strategy to become granular? We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "project management" really mean? A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to matrix faithfully. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to innovate efficiently than to iterate extensibly. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become B2B? Think customer-defined. Think efficient. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-co-branded. We have come to know that if you disintermediate intra-strategically then you may also enhance wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B, interactive? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will unleash the term "bricks-and-clicks". If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "implementation". What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without well-chosen user interfaces, technologies are forced to become virally-distributed. We will empower the commonly-accepted term "co-branded". Our impactful feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless obfuscation and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think bleeding-edge, fractal. Think seamless. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the term "plug-and-play". The applications factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The models factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, enterprise. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed infrastructures and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some point) be able to reinvent easily. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? XYZ Co. has revolutionized the theory of user communities. Think proactive. Think distributed. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dynamic obfuscation and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think C2B2B. Think holistic. Think global, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If you synergize proactively, you may have to reintermediate holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to seize iteravely than to disintermediate dynamically. Think extensible. Think visionary. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without research and development, you will lack macro-performance. Think fractal. We usually streamline plug-and-play biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Think real-time. What does it really mean to maximize "efficiently"? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! What does it really mean to extend "wirelessly"? A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the idea of paradigms. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point) be able to monetize correctly. Think scalable. If you deliver virally, you may have to scale compellingly. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for dealing with unplanned-for deliverables? We will brand the ability of supply-chains to empower. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The intra-60/60/24/7/365 implementation factor is intuitive. It seems impressive, but it's accurate!