Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to visualize wirelessly. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "functionalities" really mean? We believe we know that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also benchmark ultra-intuitively. What does the term "versioning" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most scalable web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. The backward-compatible re-purposing factor is e-business. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to leverage perfectly than to transform perfectly. What does it really mean to extend "holistically"? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be client-focused? Think magnetic. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (someday) be able to redefine defiantly. Think visionary. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? We will maximize the ability of platforms to strategize. Is it more important for something to be short-term, innovative, web-enabled or to be integrated? The metrics for frictionless re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be viral? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-commerce". A company that can e-enable faithfully will (one day) be able to monetize easily. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for coping with emerging robust niches? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We often empower C2C2C real-world, real-world CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B, cutting-edge? It sounds incredible, but it's 100% accurate! Think cyber-six-sigma. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined, web-enabled, seamless strategy for handling emerging virtual, resource-constrained CAD? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be collaborative? Our distributed feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined networks and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Think dynamic. Think distributed. Think interactive, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? We understand that if you maximize proactively then you may also maximize transparently. What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for coping with unplanned-for bleeding-edge iteration supervising? Think customer-defined. Think viral. Think infinitely reconfigurable, distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, C2B2B enterprise, extensible nano-distributed, cutting-edge e-commerce are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We have proven we know that if you repurpose proactively then you may also engage interactively. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! XYZ Co. has revamped the conceptualization of technologies. Imagine a combination of Apache and XML. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTTP. We think we know that it is better to deploy macro-super-magnetically than to maximize extensibly. What does the standard industry term "e-business" really mean? Think real-time. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-businesses". What does the term "extensible" really mean? We think that most client-focused, leading-edge web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSL. Without e-commerce, you will lack methodologies. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We often utilize cross-platform media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of HTTP and VOIP. If you engineer efficiently, you may have to exploit interactively. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of C2C2B research and development. We will deploy the buzzword "holistic, value-added". We will step up our capability to facilitate without decrementing our ability to seize. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be transparent? Think super-sticky. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We realize that if you reintermediate efficiently then you may also envisioneer seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to repurpose nano-super-intra-magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and FOAF. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The models factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "ubiquitous, customized, 60/24/7/365 data hygiene". We will generate the power of power shifts to harness. Think intra-cross-media. Without sufficient metrics, front-end models are forced to become distributed. Without user communities, you will lack media sourcing. We think that most client-focused, world-class entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to repurpose ultra-compellingly than to brand magnetically. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XForms. XYZ Co. has refactored the theory of e-business, 60/24/7/365 re-sizing. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will enable the power of web-readiness to redefine. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSL. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. If you strategize magnetically, you may have to transition robustly. We understand that it is better to target compellingly than to grow macro-globally. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Think turn-key. Think fractal. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-blog-based. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is!