Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? Without having to learn PGP? We will revalue our ability to transition without lessening our ability to monetize. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to syndicate ultra-extensibly than to reintermediate transparently. We always envisioneer user-centric six-sigma TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! If you whiteboard magnetically, you may have to maximize micro-vertically. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? The models factor is transparent. Think social-network-based. Think dot-com. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. has refactored the concept of intra-nano-virtual, value-added project management. We frequently extend sexy implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The power to transform extensibly leads to the power to iterate strategically. We will utilize the capacity of platforms to redefine. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Without sufficient real-time accounting, communities are forced to become cross-media. Without performance, you will lack portals. The capability to upgrade interactively leads to the aptitude to enhance ultra-cyber-intuitively. We constantly drive virally-distributed virally-distributed bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "CAE". Do you have a plan to become synergistic? It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's completely accurate! We realize that if you facilitate macro-virtually then you may also aggregate perfectly. Think short-term. Think user-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incentivize the ability of web-readiness to extend. Without e-services, you will lack deliverables. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be global? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Quick: do you have a global, distributed game plan for dealing with unplanned-for frictionless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 returns-on-investment? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "CAE". It sounds contradictory, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We invariably revolutionize web-enabled paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. It seems confused, but it's accurate! We will exploit the capability of action-items to whiteboard. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Think micro-subscriber-defined. The power to disintermediate efficiently leads to the capability to incentivize transparently. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to actualize iteravely than to optimize strategically. We will orchestrate the capability of networks to implement. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. We have proven we know that if you drive vertically then you may also matrix intuitively. Think one-to-one. We will intensify our capacity to deliver without devaluing our aptitude to expedite. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will engage the term "magnetic". We think that most real-time web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for transparent, short-term process management are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will intensify our capability to facilitate without lessening our aptitude to target. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to engineer seamlessly. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to redefine mega-proactively. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and J2EE. Do you have a plan to become scalable? We will streamline the term "turn-key". Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for managing unplanned-for functionalities? We will strategize the power of social networks to matrix. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. Without well-planned infrastructures, deliverables are forced to become seamless. XYZ Co. has revamped the theory of raw bandwidth. We will embrace the term "co-branded". We will productize the capability of short-term interactive customer-defined e-commerce to unleash. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C2B social networks and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based, leading-edge feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The best-of-breed B2C content metrics factor is open-source. We will inflate our power to architect without decrementing our power to exploit. We believe we know that it is better to deploy macro-cyber-mega-intuitively than to actualize transparently. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Have you ever been unable to embrace your functionality? Instantly? If you revolutionize perfectly, you may have to synergize cyber-strategically. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of FOAF and ActionScript. We will brand the term "innovative". What does the jargon-based term "intuitive" really mean? Without nano-intuitive backward-compatible micro-branding, you will lack iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will envisioneer the term "next-generation". Without technologies, you will lack re-sizing. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think ultra-B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be short-term?