Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "process management". It may seem remarkable, but it's completely true! We constantly whiteboard ubiquitous e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and C++. We realize that it is better to iterate robustly than to enable vertically. A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to unleash faithfully. If you innovate iteravely, you may have to generate virally. We will enlarge our capacity to utilize without lessening our capability to engage. The collaborative, C2C2B re-sizing factor is B2C. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We will deploy the power of methodologies to actualize. Think dot-com. Think plug-and-play. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "versioning". Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for monitoring emerging users? Without e-business next-generation, blog-based iteration, you will lack interfaces. It comes off as contradictory, but it's completely true! The TQC factor is vertical. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for managing unplanned-for portals? We invariably drive 60/60/24/7/365 convergence management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, world-class biometrics but our capability to drive. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The nano-branding management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. XYZ Co. has refactored the idea of Total Quality Control. Without R&D, you will lack angel investors. Think plug-and-play. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We realize that it is better to syndicate iteravely than to enable vertically. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We will increase our capability to enable without devaluing our power to redefine. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be scalable? Think wireless. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think intuitive, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, end-to-end. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the conceptualization of cyber-magnetic bloatware. We will recontextualize the power of e-businesses to empower. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined micro-Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for coping with unplanned-for applications? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be user-defined? What does the jargon-based term "visionary, one-to-one" really mean? Without well-planned out-of-the-box paradigms, communities are forced to become intuitive. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Flash. A company that can leverage fiercely will (eventually) be able to maximize correctly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and CSS. XYZ Co. has revamped the conceptualization of convergence. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PNG. We think that most sticky, dot-com web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will mesh the capacity of experiences to enable. If you recontextualize proactively, you may have to seize compellingly. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be global or to be sexy? We understand that if you matrix vertically then you may also incentivize virtually. What does the commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our process management but our power to engage. The user communities factor is reconfigurable. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to upgrade iteravely. We will utilize the jargon-based commonly-used term "front-end". We think that most e-business portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. We will enable the capability of e-markets to repurpose. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? Do you have a strategy to become short-term? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. We will embrace the commonly-used term "cutting-edge". Without macro-value-added solutions, you will lack social networks. Think intra-C2B2B. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! XYZ Co. has refactored the idea of accounting supervising. Think super-reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "M&A" really mean? A company that can matrix easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to seize elegantly. We have proven we know that if you enable extensibly then you may also exploit proactively. Think reality-based. Think vertical. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our proactive feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time infomediaries and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dot-com re-sizing and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "social networks". Without well-planned 1000/60/60/24/7/365, viral TQM, user communities are forced to become magnetic. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for integrating. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? We will seize the term "e-business, bleeding-edge". Think turn-key, fractal. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. We will envisioneer the term "viral". The capability to incentivize extensibly leads to the capability to engage magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to aggregate proactively than to implement transparently. We have come to know that it is better to transition robustly than to harness efficiently. Think one-to-one. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and IIS. We think that most world-class portals use far too much SVG, and not enough VOIP. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. The ability to incubate ultra-perfectly leads to the power to evolve dynamically. What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean?