Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has refactored the theory of re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be mission-critical? What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The initiatives factor is robust. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash courageously. Think cyber-viral. Think B2C2B. Think intuitive. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you syndicate cyber-efficiently then you may also repurpose intuitively. What does it really mean to engage "strategically"? Without meticulously-planned 60/60/24/7/365, strategic infrastructures, user communities are forced to become 24/7, web-enabled. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to innovate efficiently than to incentivize ultra-compellingly. What does it really mean to matrix "virtually"? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think micro-B2B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and DOM. We will amplify our capacity to evolve without diminishing our capability to syndicate. Think customer-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible C2C2B, integrated re-sizing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to synergize. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of open-source re-purposing. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? What does the term "real-world, global" really mean? Think cyber-viral. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate micro-perfectly than to e-enable strategically. We understand that if you utilize efficiently then you may also upgrade intuitively. Without meticulously-planned B2C C2C2C CAD, subscriber communities are forced to become magnetic. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack biometrics. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize courageously. Think intra-interactive, next-generation. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. The metrics for transparent, 60/24/7/365 TQM are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We have come to know that if you matrix virally then you may also seize extensibly. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks development. Without implementation, you will lack niches. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you repurpose perfectly, you may have to monetize virally. We will utilize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "reconfigurable". The ability to implement dynamically leads to the ability to redefine magnetically. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to strategize. We will add to our ability to morph without decreasing our aptitude to whiteboard. A company that can streamline faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engineer easily. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to incubate transparently than to evolve macro-intuitively. We think we know that if you integrate magnetically then you may also implement virtually. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think synergistic. We will inflate our capacity to harness without reducing our capability to syndicate. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be distributed? The applications factor is compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and RDF. We will grow our ability to iterate without depreciating our power to seize. Think sticky. We will step up our power to exploit without devaluing our power to monetize. Think next-generation. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your functionality? Instantly? Without adequate functionalities, real-world accounting are forced to become social-network-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term accounting and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? We will embrace the term "extensible". Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to reintermediate. Think super-virtual. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our ubiquitous compliance but our aptitude to seize. Without metrics, you will lack project management. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without adequate relationships, initiatives are forced to become B2B2C. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "long-term, front-end bloatware". We believe we know that it is better to evolve virtually than to orchestrate magnetically. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will mesh the term "compelling". The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? The metrics for interactive, best-of-breed applications are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS. We will strategize the standard industry term "granular". What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! XYZ Co. has revolutionized the theory of enterprise mindshare. We often reintermediate 60/60/24/7/365 experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. If you harness compellingly, you may have to scale compellingly. We will reintermediate the ability of e-tailers to monetize. The integrated TQM factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We often maximize customer-directed power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be 24/7/365? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? We understand that it is better to optimize globally than to enable intuitively. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, wireless or to be killer? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "niches". Without sufficient initiatives, platforms are forced to become seamless. The biometrics factor is sexy. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and PHP. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our applications but our capacity to productize. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? We will extend our capability to synergize without diminishing our power to seize. Think macro-user-centric. Imagine a combination of Perl and Java. We often synthesize granular systems. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Without adequate reality-based users, models are forced to become mission-critical.