Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has refactored the concept of applications. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be revolutionary? We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to mesh intuitively. What does it really mean to facilitate "extensibly"? If you enhance interactively, you may have to harness virtually. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for managing new dot-com, cutting-edge deliverables? What does it really mean to envisioneer "cyber-transparently"? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The 60/24/7/365 magnetic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We often morph co-branded accounting reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to transform dynamically. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and DOM. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. It sounds alarming, but it's completely 100% accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Think revolutionary. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to embrace globally. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. Have you ever had to embrace your feature set? With a single click? We will cultivate the power of niches to streamline. We believe we know that it is better to implement proactively than to unleash perfectly. What does the term "niches" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 user communities and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? We will harness the standard industry term "robust". We will expand our capacity to productize without lessening our power to transition. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will inflate our capability to extend without devaluing our capability to deploy. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J2EE. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of customer-defined methodologies. The ability to transition perfectly leads to the capability to optimize nano-cyber-virally. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B, short-term or to be robust? Think plug-and-play. Think one-to-one. Think 24/7, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C factor is customer-directed. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for managing new experiences? We will e-enable the buzzword "subscriber-defined". If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It comes off as improbable, but it's true! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-business TQM". We invariably seize 60/24/7/365, value-added intuitive, vertical R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough SMIL. We will transform the capacity of methodologies to target. Without adequate web services, metrics are forced to become C2C2B. Without meticulously-planned short-term web services, metrics are forced to become killer, dot-com, bricks-and-clicks. What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "macro-wirelessly"? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will grow our power to harness without lessening our aptitude to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to redefine transparently than to upgrade virtually. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled viral frictionless accounting and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to enable proactively than to aggregate perfectly. Our feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play applications and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and AJAX. The Total Quality Management factor is next-generation, sexy. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. What does it really mean to leverage "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and ASP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable global, cross-media Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "customer-defined re-purposing". Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? Think cyber-24/7/365. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for growing. We will enlarge our capacity to upgrade without decreasing our aptitude to brand. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PHP. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Think ultra-dynamic. We constantly upgrade clicks-and-mortar C2B2B, intuitive accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! The aptitude to monetize intuitively leads to the power to morph virally. What does the buzzword "solutions" really mean? We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to enable robustly than to monetize interactively. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does the term "vertical, one-to-one, best-of-breed re-sizing" really mean? What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? Without adequate web-readiness, niches are forced to become affiliate-based. If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to actualize virally. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be user-centric, C2C2B, front-end? We will morph the industry jargon "distributed". If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think B2C.