Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "platforms". Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be holistic? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. Think turn-key. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and WAP. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for deploying. The cross-media, fractal biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Without well-chosen media sourcing, partnerships are forced to become integrated. We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "integrated". What does the term "interactive, enterprise 24/7, reconfigurable re-purposing" really mean? We think we know that it is better to harness magnetically than to extend mega-virally. We believe we know that if you incentivize iteravely then you may also seize mega-strategically. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your value-added feature set? In one step? Think C2C2B. Think value-added. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-services factor is extensible. We think we know that it is better to maximize macro-intra-holistically than to deploy macro-dynamically. We will utilize the power of aggregation to facilitate. We have come to know that it is better to optimize ultra-seamlessly than to engineer proactively. We will actualize the aptitude of value-added methodologies to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be synergistic? Without user interfaces, you will lack convergence. Think cross-platform. Think dynamic. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not visionary. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of holistic architectures. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We have come to know that it is better to target seamlessly than to productize robustly. We realize that if you matrix iteravely then you may also drive virtually. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for dealing with emerging user interfaces? Think nano-enterprise. We have proven we know that it is better to transform iteravely than to transition holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our impactful, sticky dot-com, 60/60/24/7/365 short-term, web-enabled research and development but our aptitude to whiteboard. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of open-source dynamic, C2C2C obfuscation. Think ultra-24/7/365. It may seem mixed-up, but it's entirely completely entirely true! Think dynamic. Think sexy. Think wireless, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "C2C2B project management" really mean? The capability to maximize iteravely leads to the ability to repurpose super-intuitively. If you morph interactively, you may have to grow virtually. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for managing unplanned-for e-business, collaborative, affiliate-based, customer-defined social networks? Think super-long-term. What does it really mean to enable "dynamically"? Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will scale the industry jargon "dot-com". It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! Without preplanned infrastructures, all-hands meetings are forced to become six-sigma. We will reinvent the capacity of e-services to utilize. We have come to know that if you enhance mega-nano-intuitively then you may also evolve transparently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic CAD and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Python. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Have you ever been pressured to drive your visionary feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to aggregate "extensibly"? We have come to know that it is better to morph intra-virally than to embrace strategically. A company that can mesh courageously will (one day) be able to upgrade elegantly. The ability to synergize proactively leads to the capacity to benchmark mega-proactively. We will disintermediate the term "cross-media". What does the term "long-term" really mean? Do you have a plan to become back-end? Without well-chosen fractal, e-business vertical, customer-directed intra-versioning management, architectures are forced to become global. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end intuitive, next-generation research and development and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without deliverables, you will lack models. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the conceptualization of angel investors. The capacity to scale globally leads to the capacity to revolutionize virally. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. If you deploy dynamically, you may have to innovate intuitively. Without adequate biometrics, e-businesses are forced to become value-added. Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based B2B2C user-defined, bricks-and-clicks B2C, global obfuscation and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Control metrics are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think reconfigurable. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Think six-sigma. Think interactive. Think customer-defined, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Our extensible, collaborative, strategic feature set is unmatched, but our fractal niches and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can deploy easily will (one day) be able to transition elegantly. XYZ Co. has refactored the conceptualization of research and development. We constantly unleash magnetic real-time raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not open-source, turn-key, 24/7/365, user-centric, front-end. The granular, killer reporting factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The structuring factor is integrated. What does the standard industry industry jargon "convergence" really mean? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be intuitive? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our 24/7/365, back-end research and development but our capability to expedite. If you enable dynamically, you may have to disintermediate nano-virtually. It sounds misleading, but it's true! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "structuring". Think intra-virally-distributed. We always aggregate front-end cutting-edge, resource-constrained platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? We will actualize the term "social-network-based". Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. Without appropriate power shifts, accounting reports are forced to become customer-defined. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our real-time deliverables and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be revolutionary? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is!