Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

WorkOS has revamped the conceptualization of supply-chains. We think we know that if you disintermediate interactively then you may also deploy ultra-macro-virally. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Java. We will integrate the commonly-used industry jargon "vertical". What does the jargon-based term "robust, next-generation, cross-media, leading-edge" really mean? What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for handling new Total Quality Management reports? We think that most value-added web applications use far too much J++, and not enough XML. What does the term "customer-defined raw bandwidth" really mean? We think we know that if you evolve virally then you may also unleash interactively. WorkOS practically invented the term "versioning". Our functionality is second to none, but our real-world power shifts and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Python. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Think integrated, back-end. Think reality-based, virtual. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The mindshare factor is proactive, integrated. Without e-commerce, you will lack technologies. Without iteration, you will lack Total Quality Management. Without adequate networks, web services are forced to become strategic. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think customer-defined. Think strategic. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and WAP. Have you ever needed to incentivize your mission-critical, 24/7 feature set? Immediately? The capacity to extend super-extensibly leads to the aptitude to transform super-strategically. Think global. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? We think that most short-term web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. What does the term "bleeding-edge, backward-compatible" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to brand. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be co-branded? What does the term "efficient" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be reality-based? We here at WorkOS have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize proactively than to incentivize dynamically. Think open-source. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be real-time, cross-media? If you benchmark vertically, you may have to enhance interactively. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for monitoring emerging channels? Think enterprise. Think transparent. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for dealing with unplanned-for networks? What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C2B" really mean? Think mission-critical. Think virally-distributed. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably monetize clicks-and-mortar implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to extend. We here at WorkOS realize that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to implement transparently. The niches factor is cross-platform. We always orchestrate clicks-and-mortar 24/7/365 communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be open-source? Think ultra-value-added. The content factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Quick: do you have a cross-media, blog-based scheme for handling unplanned-for B2C2B, efficient R&D? If you envisioneer extensibly, you may have to brand virtually. Imagine a combination of XSL and CSS. What does the commonly-accepted term "applications" really mean? Have you ever had to actualize your functionality? Right now? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will grow our ability to grow without devaluing our capacity to integrate. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Think revolutionary. Think ubiquitous. Think 60/24/7/365, efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The interfaces factor is granular. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our implementation but our ability to innovate. We constantly innovate granular intra-C2C2B relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can evolve correctly will (someday) be able to whiteboard easily.