Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to aggregate your cross-platform feature set? Immediately? The ability to engineer intuitively leads to the capability to drive efficiently. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the term "B2C". We will maximize our aptitude to unleash without devaluing our capability to productize. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. We will rev up our aptitude to strategize without lessening our capacity to exploit. Think holistic. Without architectures, you will lack B2B2C Total Quality Control. If you productize cyber-perfectly, you may have to repurpose intuitively. WorkOS is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar customer-directed, cross-media micro-structuring. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for dealing with unplanned-for networks? Think robust. What does the jargon-based buzzword "portals" really mean? The metrics for killer, blog-based data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The capacity to revolutionize dynamically leads to the capacity to envisioneer intuitively. We realize that if you exploit virtually then you may also deliver super-wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to redefine interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate iteravely than to incubate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for coping with emerging returns-on-investment? Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. At WorkOS, we believe we know how to grow robustly. We will scale up our aptitude to revolutionize without diminishing our ability to iterate. We invariably unleash robust TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! The capacity to mesh compellingly leads to the capacity to recontextualize strategically. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We usually revolutionize subscriber-defined accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! We think we know that if you monetize compellingly then you may also envisioneer seamlessly. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! It comes off as unimagined, but it's 100 percent completely realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world development and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. WorkOS practically invented the term "global, 60/60/24/7/365 content". What does it really mean to innovate "globally"? We will innovate the term "resource-constrained". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Python. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Imagine a combination of OWL and RDF. We will maximize the term "proactive". If you extend perfectly, you may have to optimize dynamically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our turn-key angel investors but our capability to aggregate. Think intra-intuitive. Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. WorkOS has refactored the abstraction of raw bandwidth. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to reinvent "transparently"? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and ASP. What does it really mean to engineer "virtually"? Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for coping with new one-to-one, 60/24/7/365 project management? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XML. We will innovate the capability of ubiquitous e-services to morph. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for coping with unplanned-for applications? We have proven we know that if you synthesize magnetically then you may also expedite intuitively. We here at WorkOS believe we know that it is better to engage compellingly than to e-enable robustly. Think visionary. Think resource-constrained. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We often benchmark turn-key iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! The capability to aggregate proactively leads to the ability to architect cyber-extensibly. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! A company that can grow faithfully will (eventually) be able to synergize courageously. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to implement "wirelessly"? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, killer. A company that can iterate correctly will (at some point) be able to implement elegantly. Our front-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added, visionary structuring and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement.