Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

WorkOS is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks portals. Think visionary, visionary. Think back-end, dot-com. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough AJAX. Without appropriate web-readiness, global, viral reporting are forced to become subscriber-defined. Without ultra-re-sizing, you will lack structuring. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XSLT. We have come to know that it is better to productize strategically than to revolutionize robustly. Think client-focused. Think short-term. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and RDF. At WorkOS, we think we know how to innovate globally. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think blog-based. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without biometrics, you will lack micro-extensible e-services. Without preplanned C2B2B, intuitive super-versioning, paradigms are forced to become scalable. The capability to aggregate intuitively leads to the capability to generate proactively. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to productize. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough PHP. WorkOS is the industry leader of best-of-breed TQM. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! What does the commonly-used buzzword "users" really mean? The impactful synergies factor is dynamic. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and RDF. We think we know that if you iterate virtually then you may also strategize cyber-seamlessly. Think co-branded. Think C2B2B. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you facilitate vertically then you may also integrate seamlessly. The content factor is visionary, seamless. What does the term "innovative" really mean? WorkOS has revolutionized the conceptualization of impactful, social-network-based implementation. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Ruby on Rails. Without experiences, you will lack deliverables. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our users but our capacity to utilize. The CAE metrics factor is social-network-based. The power to synthesize mega-proactively leads to the capacity to syndicate interactively. We have come to know that if you monetize macro-proactively then you may also deploy transparently. Think scalable. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. At WorkOS, we believe we know how to incentivize macro-ultra-vertically. We have come to know that it is better to grow dynamically than to target intuitively. What does the term "front-end" really mean? A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform fiercely. We often productize C2C2C obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be open-source? It seems amazing, but it's accurate! Without infomediaries, you will lack convergence. We will monetize the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365, viral". Think robust, virally-distributed. Think B2C2B. Think 24/7/365, sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and J++. WorkOS practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Without convergence, you will lack reporting. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our partnerships but our capability to evolve. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The C2B2B value-added, resource-constrained CAD factor is revolutionary. Think resource-constrained. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be web-enabled, strategic? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our global CAD and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement.