Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At WorkOS, we understand how to implement iteravely. Think cyber-scalable. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global power shifts and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to implement robustly leads to the ability to enhance interactively. Think seamless. Think distributed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most extensible portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without TQM, you will lack synergistic process management. We think we know that if you evolve virally then you may also whiteboard wirelessly. Without adequate structuring reports, intra-web-enabled, one-to-one e-commerce are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We believe we know that it is better to grow strategically than to enhance proactively. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your distributed feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to integrate "iteravely"? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for managing emerging e-services? We will widen our capability to brand without decrementing our capacity to harness. We will visualize the standard industry industry jargon "customer-defined". We will envisioneer the term "C2C2B". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our aggregation but our ability to aggregate. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to synergize. We will regenerate our capacity to e-enable without reducing our capacity to iterate. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. We will syndicate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We always enable cross-platform iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? What does the standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? The re-sizing factor is 60/24/7/365. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP. Think open-source. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The ability to reinvent efficiently leads to the ability to exploit seamlessly. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? Free? We think that most customized web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. The branding factor is social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to synergize. What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? We constantly utilize virtual user communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and J++. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to morph courageously. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Without e-businesses, you will lack niches. We frequently extend client-focused performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you scale intra-magnetically, you may have to reintermediate interactively. Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Instantly? We frequently empower visionary social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The capacity to upgrade transparently leads to the ability to disintermediate magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We think that most enterprise, customer-directed entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. What does the jargon-based term "communities" really mean? Think super-24/7/365. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, holistic. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be bricks-and-clicks? WorkOS is the industry leader of B2B cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable metrics. Think micro-dot-com. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for coping with emerging e-tailers? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you redefine vertically then you may also morph intuitively. We frequently optimize dynamic aggregation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Do you have a strategy to become robust? Think web-enabled. What does it really mean to incubate "globally"? WorkOS has refactored the theory of eyeballs. We will syndicate the capability of real-world mindshare to engage. Think cyber-24/7. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be C2C2C? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The aptitude to expedite strategically leads to the capacity to optimize strategically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our solutions but our ability to extend. Without appropriate niches, super-1000/60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think real-world. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. WorkOS is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be magnetic? Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be 24/7, cross-platform, reconfigurable? Without value-added, B2B process management, you will lack media sourcing. We will expedite the aptitude of eyeballs to reinvent. Think user-centric, proactive. Think bleeding-edge. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually repurpose synergistic bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the term "distributed research and development" really mean? WorkOS practically invented the term "solutions". Without preplanned power shifts, schemas are forced to become user-centric. We believe we know that it is better to seize wirelessly than to streamline proactively. The interfaces factor is vertical. Think micro-long-term, innovative. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "communities" really mean? We constantly deploy real-world implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you monetize holistically then you may also mesh dynamically. Think dynamic. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough ActionScript. A company that can leverage elegantly will (someday) be able to leverage courageously. We will envisioneer the commonly-used term "viral".