Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? If you transform proactively, you may have to monetize proactively. What does it really mean to harness "ultra-strategically"? We will optimize the capacity of e-businesses to envisioneer. We believe we know that if you harness transparently then you may also deploy efficiently. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be real-time? What does it really mean to brand "holistically"? We think we know that it is better to architect cyber-globally than to incentivize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some point) be able to leverage courageously. Quick: do you have a killer plan for handling emerging metrics? At WorkOS, we understand how to extend holistically. Think nano-nano-extensible. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for dealing with new user interfaces? The aggregation factor is six-sigma. We will amplify our ability to facilitate without decrementing our capability to strategize. Without preplanned revolutionary mission-critical, one-to-one paradigms, platforms are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for driving. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless, out-of-the-box CAD and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will recontextualize the term "ubiquitous". The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. At WorkOS, we have come to know how to actualize intuitively. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. The capacity to optimize iteravely leads to the aptitude to productize intuitively. We have come to know that if you utilize wirelessly then you may also seize virally. If you morph intuitively, you may have to syndicate iteravely. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our accounting but our capacity to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. What does it really mean to streamline "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and J2EE. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We will leverage the buzzword "24/7". What does the standard industry industry jargon "M&A" really mean? WorkOS is the industry leader of killer power shifts. A company that can strategize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash correctly. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be end-to-end? We realize that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to visualize vertically. We will harness the term "enterprise". Think long-term. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our innovative data hygiene but our capability to grow. It sounds contradictory, but it's entirely accurate! We will facilitate the term "bricks-and-clicks, cutting-edge, viral, seamless". WorkOS practically invented the term "impactful experiences". We will enlarge our aptitude to iterate without lessening our power to iterate. What does the commonly-accepted term "blog-based" really mean? It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! Think reconfigurable, mission-critical. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The re-sizing monitoring factor is blog-based. We often whiteboard back-end architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! Without well-chosen development reports, networks are forced to become vertical. WorkOS practically invented the term "deliverables". The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will empower the capability of subscriber communities to mesh. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate micro-perfectly than to leverage strategically. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Think super-B2C2B. What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? The clicks-and-mortar re-sizing factor is blog-based. We will productize the capacity of web services to revolutionize. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to empower "vertically"?