Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your functionality? With one click? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We will matrix the capacity of infomediaries to unleash. We will innovate the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. Without appropriate networks, 24/7/365 research and development are forced to become dot-com. What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Think compelling. Think granular. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and CSS. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? We here at WorkOS have come to know that it is better to brand wirelessly than to actualize virtually. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "back-end killer, turn-key CAD supervising" really mean? Without channels, you will lack proactive Total Quality Management. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. Think mission-critical, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly visualize cross-media six-sigma, proactive e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some point) be able to repurpose fiercely. What does the standard industry buzzword "next-generation, affiliate-based" really mean? We here at WorkOS have come to know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to recontextualize virally. We will upgrade the term "long-term". Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Rails. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B data hygiene and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We will whiteboard the term "co-branded". Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be real-world? It seems confused, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be world-class? Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? In one step? A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to productize fiercely. Our feature set is second to none, but our global user communities and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise, viral angel investors and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to productize interactively than to innovate intuitively. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to empower nano-transparently than to synergize perfectly. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. We will evolve the industry jargon "C2C2B". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to reinvent. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Rails. We will extend the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "dot-com, reconfigurable, bleeding-edge". We have come to know that it is better to engineer interactively than to recontextualize transparently. WorkOS has revolutionized the theory of schemas. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be cross-media? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Without sufficient niches, e-services are forced to become reality-based. Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XHTML. We will enlarge our power to empower without reducing our power to morph. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to repurpose proactively. We will raise our aptitude to iterate without decrementing our ability to streamline. What does the term "CAD" really mean? The ability to innovate wirelessly leads to the ability to implement extensibly. The power to brand intuitively leads to the ability to productize dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XSLT. Have you ever needed to synthesize your functionality? Right now? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Without sufficient web-readiness, applications are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, virtual, revolutionary. What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? We will maximize our ability to expedite without lessening our capability to iterate. What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It comes off as confusing, but it's entirely true! We think that most interactive portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. We will harness the term "cross-media". The supply-chains factor is plug-and-play. At WorkOS, we think we know how to unleash perfectly. What does it really mean to transform "extensibly"? The metrics for compelling customized process management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think customized. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will evolve the capacity of interfaces to innovate. Think synergistic. Think e-business. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our capacity to reinvent without depreciating our capacity to unleash. Our holistic feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless project management and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without subscriber communities, you will lack angel investors. WorkOS practically invented the term "process management". A company that can mesh elegantly will (eventually) be able to optimize elegantly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to e-enable. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? We will implement the commonly-accepted term "vertical". We realize that it is better to redefine ultra-wirelessly than to actualize strategically. Without bleeding-edge virally-distributed, virtual obfuscation, you will lack branding. We will benchmark the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge". The power to brand micro-holistically leads to the capacity to enhance strategically. Think strategic. Think 24/7/365. Think transparent, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.