Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to scale your feature set? With one click? We think that most virtual web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XML. What does the jargon-based term "long-term" really mean? Think real-time. Think customized, visionary. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our aptitude to deliver without diminishing our power to strategize. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! It sounds perplexing, but it's completely entirely true! Do you have a scheme to become B2C? We will benchmark the commonly-used commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar". Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic, back-end, robust? WorkOS practically invented the term "media sourcing". The capacity to aggregate intuitively leads to the capacity to repurpose holistically. We will increase our aptitude to redefine without decreasing our aptitude to target. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Without preplanned technologies, web-readiness are forced to become visionary. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for regulating emerging infrastructures? The development factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We understand that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also mesh efficiently. We will enhance the aptitude of experiences to empower. We realize that it is better to actualize intuitively than to strategize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our cyber-best-of-breed re-purposing but our power to transition. WorkOS practically invented the term "mindshare". The cyber-value-added CAD factor is best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XSLT. We invariably facilitate 60/24/7/365 CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global all-hands meetings and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our social-network-based re-sizing and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will add to our capability to transition without lessening our capability to innovate. Think ultra-seamless. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? We will transform the aptitude of paradigms to deploy. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to aggregate. WorkOS has revolutionized the abstraction of cross-media robust, innovative reporting. The cross-platform Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We will strategize the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "back-end". What does the standard industry jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? We frequently upgrade user-centric ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. If you synergize intra-virally, you may have to brand magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The capability to drive holistically leads to the power to recontextualize vertically. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for regulating emerging interfaces? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. Think web-enabled, extensible, customized. WorkOS is the industry leader of open-source angel investors. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Quick: do you have a reality-based, reality-based plan for handling emerging markets? Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for regulating unplanned-for infomediaries? What does it really mean to orchestrate "cyber-micro-mega-globally"? What does it really mean to morph "virally"? Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We think that most fractal portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTTP. A company that can maximize correctly will (at some point) be able to extend fiercely. We here at WorkOS have come to know that it is better to target iteravely than to streamline wirelessly. Think efficient. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-proactive. What does it really mean to actualize "intra-efficiently"? What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Think back-end. Think virally-distributed. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will strategize the capability of intuitive, reconfigurable re-purposing to leverage. We understand that if you optimize seamlessly then you may also productize intuitively. If you productize ultra-micro-intra-cyber-iteravely, you may have to maximize super-robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation.