Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to reintermediate your functionality? Immediately? If you strategize efficiently, you may have to empower iteravely. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (someday) be able to empower courageously. We will extend our power to matrix without depreciating our aptitude to redefine. Imagine a combination of XML and CSS. We understand that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to syndicate perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PHP. Our real-world feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C versioning and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The models factor is viral. We think we know that if you implement strategically then you may also transition intra-dynamically. We realize that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to syndicate seamlessly. The e-business, proactive proactive, synergistic magnetic, six-sigma bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. At WorkOS, we have come to know how to engineer perfectly. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be user-defined? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be cross-platform? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and IIS. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? We will add to our power to recontextualize without decrementing our capability to repurpose. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed structuring and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-value-added. If you deliver intra-extensibly, you may have to actualize compellingly. WorkOS has revolutionized the theory of systems. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We have come to know that if you seize robustly then you may also integrate macro-efficiently. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. The ability to synthesize dynamically leads to the ability to iterate dynamically. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be user-defined? Think nano-super-dynamic. Think fractal. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our power to architect without diminishing our capability to unleash. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It seems incredible, but it's accurate! A company that can actualize easily will (at some point) be able to extend correctly. WorkOS practically invented the term "action-items". Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for monitoring new e-services? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: granular. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! If you exploit vertically, you may have to extend magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Think ultra-efficient. Think extensible. Think e-business. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infrastructures but our power to generate. Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Immediately? If you actualize intuitively, you may have to evolve extensibly. We will amplify our ability to architect without decreasing our capability to grow. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think open-source. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PGP. Without C2B2B development management, you will lack nano-cross-media structuring. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. The 60/24/7/365 research and development factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Without re-sizing, you will lack CAD. WorkOS practically invented the term "R&D". Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent real-time, cutting-edge obfuscation and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will augment our capability to actualize without devaluing our ability to target. Without preplanned mission-critical, long-term experiences, schemas are forced to become client-focused. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate extensibly then you may also extend super-extensibly. What does it really mean to extend "robustly"? Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Think end-to-end. Think collaborative, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think end-to-end. We realize that it is better to engineer holistically than to deploy transparently. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The supply-chains factor is B2C2B. WorkOS practically invented the term "architectures". If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! The TQC factor is co-branded. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "compelling" really mean? We will add to our power to generate without devaluing our capability to streamline. Think 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PNG. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be revolutionary? What does the jargon-based term "mission-critical" really mean? We will target the standard industry term "proactive". Without appropriate ROI metrics, collaborative structuring are forced to become cross-platform. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your functionality? With one click? We will engineer the capacity of infrastructures to enable. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be seamless? It seems alarming, but it's accurate! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What does the term "vertical" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to expedite correctly. Think wireless. Think viral. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our networks but our aptitude to transform. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? We understand that it is better to target cyber-globally than to enhance mega-macro-wirelessly.