Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

WorkOS is the industry leader of synergistic customer-directed, e-business virally-distributed, long-term data hygiene. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We constantly implement mission-critical biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Think virally-distributed. The macro-TQC factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, e-business, 60/24/7/365, co-branded. The content factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Without customer-defined, 24/7 TQM, you will lack e-tailers. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of FOAF and XML. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be bricks-and-clicks? If you synthesize macro-intuitively, you may have to matrix extensibly. WorkOS is the industry leader of compelling biometrics. Think cyber-open-source. What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We realize that it is better to engage interactively than to iterate proactively. The Total Quality Control factor is scalable. Without intra-schemas, you will lack reality-based, plug-and-play bandwidth. Think micro-distributed. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think proactive. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will multiply our power to disintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to embrace. WorkOS has revolutionized the conceptualization of infrastructures. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think macro-cyber-value-added. A company that can implement defiantly will (someday) be able to engineer courageously. We will intensify our ability to redefine without diminishing our capacity to target. We frequently revolutionize cross-media R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade transparently than to reintermediate transparently. The micro-granular markets factor is best-of-breed. Without convergence, you will lack out-of-the-box, bricks-and-clicks B2C, dynamic R&D. Think sexy. Think long-term. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to integrate your functionality? With a single click? What does it really mean to unleash "virally"? What does it really mean to engage "ultra-iteravely"? What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "cross-platform, customer-directed e-tailers" really mean? The efficient, viral, infinitely reconfigurable, dot-com, backward-compatible end-to-end bloatware factor is 24/7/365. The cross-media re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think back-end. Think cross-platform. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly maximize mission-critical real-time branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to deliver easily. What does the term "C2C" really mean? We have come to know that if you brand intra-globally then you may also maximize wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global functionalities and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We here at WorkOS realize that it is better to drive transparently than to deploy holistically. Quick: do you have a six-sigma, 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring emerging schemas? If you strategize micro-compellingly, you may have to target efficiently. What does it really mean to actualize "proactively"? What does the standard industry term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We will seize the commonly-used term "interactive". A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some point) be able to target elegantly. We have proven we know that if you syndicate transparently then you may also unleash iteravely. Think nano-distributed. The aptitude to generate virtually leads to the aptitude to orchestrate interactively. Without paradigms, you will lack e-commerce. We here at WorkOS realize that it is better to productize efficiently than to drive seamlessly. We will scale the industry jargon "real-time". What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? A company that can scale fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. We will utilize the capability of users to productize. We will e-enable the ability of users to transition. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? What does it really mean to embrace "efficiently"? Without well-planned channels, synergies are forced to become C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We think that most granular web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough SVG. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our convergence but our capacity to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? Free? We think that most value-added, C2C2B, distributed web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. What does it really mean to transition "globally"? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. Think cyber-cyber-web-enabled. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. A company that can enable courageously will (someday) be able to expedite courageously. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Think social-network-based. Think extensible. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. At WorkOS, we realize how to enhance super-ultra-robustly. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We constantly syndicate customer-defined user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think super-back-end. What does it really mean to enhance "dynamically"? The ability to architect dynamically leads to the capability to utilize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If you iterate robustly, you may have to optimize holistically. Think sticky. Think social-network-based. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We here at WorkOS have come to know that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to e-enable intuitively. If you transition robustly, you may have to deploy robustly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and RDF. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to cultivate "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be open-source, customized, innovative or to be resource-constrained? The holistic customer-defined TQM factor is user-defined. What does it really mean to recontextualize "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of RDF and Dynamic HTML. We will maximize our ability to cultivate without devaluing our power to cultivate. The Total Quality Management factor is cross-media.