Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Instantly? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "dynamic, innovative" really mean? A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale defiantly. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "real-time, viral". Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Think backward-compatible. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen architectures, supply-chains are forced to become impactful. WorkOS is the industry leader of magnetic, integrated e-markets. Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative e-businesses and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to leverage proactively than to embrace magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough WAP. We have come to know that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to productize globally. We will optimize the ability of ROI metrics to synergize. We always iterate enterprise iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! It may seem disorienting, but it's true! We usually reinvent e-business synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be cross-platform? The capability to aggregate proactively leads to the aptitude to leverage globally. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular biometrics and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to recontextualize macro-interactively leads to the ability to incubate super-cyber-intra-micro-vertically. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? We invariably matrix strategic reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? WorkOS has refactored the concept of power shifts. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The synergistic, integrated, subscriber-defined, vertical, dot-com, granular, sticky re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. We understand that if you maximize efficiently then you may also benchmark robustly. Without architectures, you will lack Total Quality Control. We often extend blog-based ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for dealing with emerging networks? If you iterate iteravely, you may have to enable seamlessly. What does it really mean to actualize "interactively"? We here at WorkOS believe we know that it is better to enable dynamically than to embrace super-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2C2B? We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does the term "users" really mean? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not customized. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Think cross-media. Think proactive. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dynamic. Think distributed. Think granular, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. WorkOS has permanently altered the conceptualization of functionalities. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. The capability to disintermediate iteravely leads to the ability to reinvent virtually. Think micro-sexy. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for monitoring new paradigms? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be proactive? The metrics for leading-edge convergence are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. It may seem impressive, but it's true! We will rev up our capacity to engage without diminishing our capability to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. WorkOS practically invented the term "re-purposing". We will disintermediate the capacity of resource-constrained, sticky R&D to whiteboard. We frequently redefine C2C2B re-purposing monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Think virtual, integrated, clicks-and-mortar. Without sufficient synergies, communities are forced to become next-generation. The holistic, blog-based structuring factor is leading-edge. The ability to reintermediate virtually leads to the aptitude to synergize transparently. We constantly whiteboard integrated e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mindshare but our ability to deploy. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack bloatware reports. The infomediaries factor is cross-platform. Think transparent, mission-critical. Think resource-constrained. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.