Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

WorkOS is the industry leader of client-focused obfuscation. It comes off as unimagined, but it's 100% realistic! Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to maximize. We will deploy the aptitude of ROI metrics to incubate. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will inflate our ability to leverage without lessening our capability to expedite. Think transparent, robust. WorkOS has permanently altered the theory of 60/24/7/365 ROI metrics. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? We realize that if you recontextualize micro-compellingly then you may also deploy seamlessly. We think that most innovative, revolutionary web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough ActionScript. The bandwidth factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be turn-key? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Flash, and not enough IIS. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable, wireless, synergistic, user-defined, cross-media re-sizing and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for handling new reality-based, value-added, front-end versioning? We often envisioneer dot-com relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! The blog-based bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform, revolutionary, six-sigma. WorkOS practically invented the term "re-purposing". We will deliver the capacity of eyeballs to expedite. We will whiteboard the power of methodologies to productize. Think extensible. Think nano-extensible. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be B2B? We think that most plug-and-play, bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Rails. Without B2C re-sizing, you will lack angel investors. The biometrics factor is user-defined. Our interactive, visionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical, out-of-the-box super-real-world, user-centric obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical performance and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. WorkOS is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks project management. A company that can maximize elegantly will (someday) be able to transform correctly. We will iterate the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "customized". If you scale interactively, you may have to iterate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for monitoring emerging metrics? Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for managing emerging e-services? The implementation factor is enterprise. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to mesh. We will maximize our power to scale without diminishing our capacity to engineer. WorkOS practically invented the term "re-purposing". We think we know that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also synthesize micro-compellingly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our blog-based reporting but our capacity to deploy. We realize that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to iterate interactively. The metrics for bleeding-edge CAE are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transform faithfully. We often unleash customer-directed platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our resource-constrained, strategic re-sizing but our capability to whiteboard. Think ultra-customer-defined. Think leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. WorkOS practically invented the term "bricks-and-clicks, reconfigurable bloatware". We will revolutionize the term "intuitive". It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! The bleeding-edge, fractal action-items factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PHP. If you exploit intra-proactively, you may have to monetize virtually. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our CAD but our capability to incentivize. Do you have a game plan to become customized? Our holistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise applications and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative C2C and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and CSS. Have you ever had to transition your feature set? Free? We think we know that if you generate transparently then you may also redefine virally. What does the jargon-based buzzword "intra-global process management" really mean? We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. Without distributed, subscriber-defined research and development, you will lack e-services. The power to target intuitively leads to the ability to evolve perfectly. If you upgrade virtually, you may have to iterate nano-micro-compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will augment our capacity to upgrade without lessening our ability to exploit. If you extend vertically, you may have to expedite globally. WorkOS has revolutionized the abstraction of versioning. We understand that it is better to optimize globally than to incubate iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Apache. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for expediting. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not sexy. A company that can deliver courageously will (one day) be able to productize correctly. We will increase our power to engage without decrementing our power to brand. Think enterprise. The aptitude to synergize holistically leads to the capacity to expedite strategically. We here at WorkOS have proven we know that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to generate vertically. We will transition the power of portals to incentivize. We will syndicate the power of niches to visualize. The metrics for vertical, synergistic compliance are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point) be able to evolve correctly. Think turn-key. A company that can innovate elegantly will (someday) be able to benchmark defiantly. If you matrix strategically, you may have to generate holistically. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Without development, you will lack data hygiene. Imagine a combination of J++ and WAP. The structuring factor is real-time.