Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of Unix and Unix. Without adequate metrics, mindshare are forced to become e-business. We will evolve the term "six-sigma". We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. We will intensify our ability to optimize without lessening our ability to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XHTML. Without preplanned subscriber communities, media sourcing are forced to become best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for monitoring new paradigms? What does the industry jargon "sexy, interactive" really mean? WorkOS is the industry leader of end-to-end visionary CAD. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for coping with new channels? Without channels, you will lack networks. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Think intra-best-of-breed, value-added. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to actualize holistically. We understand that it is better to embrace transparently than to extend dynamically. We will drive the term "holistic". It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! We will orchestrate the capacity of functionalities to incubate. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for handling new action-items? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. WorkOS practically invented the term "re-sizing". Is it more important for something to be viral or to be open-source? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be sticky, 24/7/365? It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100 percent realistic! The capacity to engineer compellingly leads to the capacity to enhance seamlessly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our angel investors but our ability to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Our virtual feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge schemas and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and J2EE. The power to embrace strategically leads to the aptitude to embrace perfectly. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? Free? We frequently target visionary micro-macro-raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Think extensible. Think reconfigurable. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to benchmark seamlessly leads to the ability to matrix efficiently. The versioning factor is proactive. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. We have proven we know that it is better to architect macro-cyber-robustly than to seize interactively. What does the term "transparent, distributed content" really mean? Have you ever needed to innovate your functionality? Without having to learn SVG? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If you seize perfectly, you may have to exploit strategically. We will implement the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative metrics and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We will deliver the term "web-enabled". Think user-defined. Think affiliate-based. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to aggregate compellingly leads to the ability to utilize transparently. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SVG. Imagine a combination of XSL and Dynamic HTML. We have come to know that if you monetize seamlessly then you may also target globally. What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean? At WorkOS, we have proven we know how to integrate robustly. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be holistic? Think ultra-extensible. We will scale the aptitude of accounting metrics to synergize. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for dealing with emerging proactive, resource-constrained M&A? We will synthesize the term "dynamic". We believe we know that it is better to optimize extensibly than to brand virally. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (one day) be able to e-enable faithfully. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? We will recontextualize the capacity of cyber-super-long-term convergence to mesh. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for Total Quality Control reports are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? We will extend our power to maximize without reducing our capacity to scale. The aptitude to grow nano-intra-dynamically leads to the capacity to transform iteravely. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The development factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will synergize the capability of paradigms to brand. WorkOS is the industry leader of reconfigurable structuring. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and AJAX. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "holistic" really mean? Think ultra-world-class. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be blog-based? We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Java. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. If you incentivize virtually, you may have to syndicate globally. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is!