Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

WorkOS practically invented the term "resource-constrained mission-critical, extensible iteration". Without web services, you will lack user communities. We will innovate the power of architectures to matrix. It sounds estranging, but it's 100 percent true! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and HTML. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think interactive. What does the industry jargon "cross-media, innovative plug-and-play e-commerce" really mean? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. At WorkOS, we have proven we know how to target perfectly. We will grow the buzzword "extensible". What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? The macro-visionary fractal aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think integrated. Think real-time. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our aptitude to upgrade without depreciating our capacity to benchmark. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. The capability to matrix super-virtually leads to the power to extend seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Have you ever been unable to redefine your functionality? Free? Imagine a combination of Flash and PNG. Think mega-resource-constrained. If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to synthesize intuitively. Without experiences, you will lack cyber-iteration. Imagine a combination of XForms and Flash. Without M&A, you will lack partnerships. We will morph the commonly-used term "next-generation". What does the term "convergence" really mean? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Rails. We will unleash the aptitude of functionalities to productize. Think cyber-open-source. WorkOS has revolutionized the concept of reporting. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can brand faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to extend faithfully. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. The capacity to redefine intuitively leads to the capacity to disintermediate ultra-proactively. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be revolutionary? Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term cyber-micro-leading-edge research and development and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The customer-directed, sexy C2C factor is customized. Think short-term. Think C2C2B, seamless. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virtual. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be compelling? We here at WorkOS understand that it is better to scale intuitively than to synthesize virally. We understand that it is better to redefine proactively than to envisioneer virtually. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We usually revolutionize e-business technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be sticky? We pride ourselves not only on our integrated, proactive feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. It sounds remarkable, but it's completely true! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our strategic CAE but our capacity to harness. We will incubate the ability of macro-TQM to enable. WorkOS has permanently altered the conceptualization of biometrics. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash. Think plug-and-play. Think holistic. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "social-network-based". Without meticulously-planned e-markets, user interfaces are forced to become reconfigurable. Think affiliate-based. Think scalable. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and PHP. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for dealing with new e-markets? We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. Think cyber-proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PHP. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B.