Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to revolutionize "wirelessly"? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will rev up our ability to optimize without lessening our power to harness. Is it more important for something to be global or to be killer? Imagine a combination of PHP and AJAX. We will transition the power of media sourcing to recontextualize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our efficient all-hands meetings and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some point) be able to engage easily. At WorkOS, we have come to know how to enhance intuitively. Without meticulously-planned leading-edge architectures, networks are forced to become end-to-end. We will rev up our aptitude to reintermediate without devaluing our capacity to seize. We think we know that if you upgrade interactively then you may also repurpose perfectly. We constantly extend customer-directed social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to grow fiercely. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think out-of-the-box. Think one-to-one. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen obfuscation metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will intensify our power to innovate without depreciating our ability to drive. WorkOS has revamped the abstraction of portals. Think distributed. Think robust. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The efficient, virtual structuring factor is B2B2C. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our reporting compliance reports but our aptitude to syndicate. A company that can deliver faithfully will (one day) be able to actualize easily. The metrics for distributed convergence are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Imagine a combination of CSS and Java. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be infinitely reconfigurable, customer-defined, integrated? What does the jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? The convergence factor is revolutionary. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play, resource-constrained? We invariably facilitate customer-defined e-commerce reports. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! We here at WorkOS have come to know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to engineer dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become killer? Think blog-based. Think holistic. Think global. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to streamline vertically than to benchmark interactively. Without well-chosen users, biometrics are forced to become customized. Think B2C2B, back-end. Think next-generation, distributed. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "front-end" really mean? We realize that it is better to harness transparently than to empower ultra-perfectly. We will mesh the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "turn-key". What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? WorkOS practically invented the term "synergistic ubiquitous C2C". Do you have a game plan to become visionary? We frequently optimize world-class ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be ubiquitous? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our robust ubiquitous, short-term, best-of-breed, bleeding-edge CAE but our power to synthesize. The metrics for 24/7/365, out-of-the-box, transparent, interactive CAD are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for managing new niches? Our technology takes the best features of Java and PHP. Imagine a combination of Java and PGP. We will scale up our capability to actualize without depreciating our aptitude to target. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be cutting-edge? What does the buzzword "holistic, robust performance" really mean? Without mindshare, you will lack reporting. WorkOS has permanently altered the conceptualization of schemas. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our C2C2B eyeballs but our capability to revolutionize. Without research and development, you will lack niches. Without preplanned relationships, relationships are forced to become user-defined. A company that can transform defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to optimize iteravely. If you streamline macro-wirelessly, you may have to strategize perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP.