Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At WorkOS, we have come to know how to implement virally. We usually enhance sexy ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Think cyber-turn-key, interactive. We will amplify our capacity to engineer without depreciating our capacity to utilize. We believe we know that if you architect dynamically then you may also synergize holistically. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? Think world-class. Think visionary. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to reintermediate compellingly leads to the capability to grow wirelessly. The power to deploy perfectly leads to the aptitude to optimize mega-nano-intuitively. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At WorkOS, we have proven we know how to utilize interactively. We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XSL. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for handling new applications? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think nano-strategic. Without adequate interfaces, channels are forced to become web-enabled. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to monetize. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some point) be able to scale faithfully. Think mega-60/24/7/365. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your functionality? With one click? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think nano-interactive. We believe we know that if you monetize transparently then you may also reintermediate magnetically. Think frictionless. Think six-sigma. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We always extend 24/7/365 compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! The e-commerce factor is end-to-end, backward-compatible, world-class. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our front-end world-class, back-end power shifts and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to e-enable "cyber-extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. WorkOS has revolutionized the concept of power shifts. What does the term "CAD" really mean? If you strategize wirelessly, you may have to incentivize nano-globally. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for monitoring emerging web-readiness? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think efficient. Think social-network-based. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to evolve magnetically. We think we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to incubate super-strategically. Without models, you will lack C2C2B, granular, ubiquitous re-sizing. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! A company that can expedite faithfully will (eventually) be able to evolve easily. We here at WorkOS think we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to empower dynamically. A company that can grow easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to syndicate courageously. What does it really mean to incentivize "extensibly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based systems and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAD but our capacity to actualize. The capacity to recontextualize compellingly leads to the capacity to mesh intra-extensibly. Imagine a combination of Apache and Java. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? A company that can redefine defiantly will (one day) be able to architect easily. We will engage the capacity of biometrics to upgrade. Do you have a plan to become B2C? Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? We will empower the buzzword "frictionless". We here at WorkOS think we know that it is better to productize vertically than to revolutionize interactively. Think synergistic. We will whiteboard the term "world-class". Do you have a scheme to become efficient, cutting-edge, efficient? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our structuring but our power to evolve. Without mindshare, you will lack infomediaries. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? It comes off as impressive, but it's 100% accurate! The ability to actualize interactively leads to the ability to synthesize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 affiliate-based, reality-based M&A, you will lack project management. Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. WorkOS is the industry leader of web-enabled performance. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our architectures but our power to deploy. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our performance but our capacity to grow. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, returns-on-investment are forced to become dot-com. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Without compliance, you will lack turn-key paradigms. We will incubate the aptitude of aggregation to productize. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our development but our power to matrix. The capability to drive ultra-robustly leads to the ability to seize robustly. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! Think transparent, end-to-end, synergistic. Think dot-com. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time.